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#i’m just ranting right now so feel free to disregard this... i have a feeling it’s not gonna be anything ummm good

stopthatnel · 2 years

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No Need To Be Direct

Gojo X Reader

A/N: Someone get me some water please.

Disclaimer: kinda nsfw. (pt2, and 3, which is definitely nsfw)

tw: cheating, pet names (good girl), there’s no pronouns besides what’s mention above.

m.list

A playful glimmer shined in his eyes, pulling you into the illusion of comfort. ”How’s your boyfriend?” He asks. You sigh, “He’s fine, just got himself a new promotion.” He clasps his hands together and smiles, “That’s wonderful! But it doesn’t seem like you’re very happy-“

The waitress is now standing by your table, with the sundae Gojo ordered, as well as your smoothie. “Thank you for your patience! We are a bit understaffed today, so please be wary of longer wait times. Feel free to grab anyone if you need anything!” The waitress says timidly. You laugh, “No worries! You’re all good!”

When she leaves, Gojo turns to face you again. “As I was saying, you don’t seem very happy. A promotion is a big thing.” You exhale loudly through your nose. He’s right. You should be happy for him, but you’re not. If anything, you’re annoyed. It’s just one more reason for him to come home later, have more business meetings, and a complete disregard of his relationship with you. “I guess.” You mutter. Gojo looks up at you through his eyelashes, in a questioning manner. His mouth was full with ice cream, so you took the opportunity to explain.

“You know how I mentioned how invested he is in his work?”

Gojo nods.

“I just feel like he’s taking this as an opportunity to do more… but less. He’s doing great in his field, which I’m really proud of, but he uses all of his energy and ends up coming home with none. And I have talked to him about it, but it’s not the same. And I feel so selfish when I think this way, it’s not like he’s doing it for himself. Like he has to make a living somehow, and he’s doing that! But goddamn, what about me? Why don’t I get that attention-“ maybe if I was cursed I would. You failed to notice that your hands had balled up into fists, and your jaw clenched. You took a deep breath and relaxed. You look up to apologize to Gojo for your rant, you’re sure he didn’t ask you to hang out just so you could go on about your relationship.

He’s staring you with a glob of ice cream on his finger and doe eyes, “Do you think the ice cream is homemade?” You cock your brow in disbelief. And then you laughed. Of course. We did come out to have a good time. You reach out towards his bowl and scoop up a bit of ice cream onto your fingers, bringing it to your mouth. Gojo grabs your wrist before you could reach, bringing his fingers closer to you. “Try it.” He says. This has to be a joke. You giggle nervously, and tug your hand back, only to feel his fingers tightening around your wrist. He brings the melting ice cream on your fingers to his mouth, wrapping his lips delicately around the two digits while maintaining eye contact. He pulls back, and you feel a drop of the melted treat roll down your forearm.

“Try it.” He repeats, firmly. Almost commanding. The thoughts circulating through your mind were no match for the heartbeat thumping loudly in your ears. You lean forward cautiously, this is cheating. You part your lips, is this really cheating? You look up at Gojo with curious eyes, it can’t be. You pull back, eager and confused. “Good girl.”

This was the attention you wanted.

#jjk smut #gojo smut #gojou satoru x you #tw: cheating

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zombiesrhere · 2 years

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i need to rant.

i feel so sick when i see people mourning eddie death. i understand that his death was sad and extremely not needed whatsoever but people are crying over his death that meant so little.

i get it, eddie is a comfort character to a lot of viewers but it’s so irritating to see someone sit and cry over his death when lucas and max had a much sadder story.

as a black person it did NOT sit with me right about the way they handled lucas’s and max’s situation. max gets vecna’d right in front of lucas’s eyes, and he just watches with no way to help her because of jason. OH AND JASON. him and lucas were literally fighting for whatever reason meaning that lucas got all types of beat up trying to save max.

AND OMG ERICA. she was getting beat up in the front of the house FOR WHAT!? and by the time she gets set free she’s too late and max has already been vecna’d. I JUST OMG.

fast forward to the hospital, and max is laying there on her death bed, in a fukin coma, and lucas is sitting there with a black eye, not knowing if she’ll wake up. erica is sitting in a chair just watching it all, knowing she couldn’t do anything before vecna got max.

i just felt so sick to my stomach. and yes eleven and them come to the hospital and hug and talk, but then just in up leaving them in the hospital! and now i’m worried for them, not knowing if they’ll make it, because vecna’s right around the corner.

AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON WILL. i’ve seen a lot more people talk about wills story which is great because OMG. his boarderline confession to mike was then used to build up mikes and els relationship. like what the hell. and they just kinda gloss over it at the end. AND I EXPECTED A COME OUT SCENE BUT OFC I WAS DISAPPOINTED, ITS THE DUFFERS😭

what makes eddie different than any other white character on the show? oh, that’s he’s a ‘freak’ or a weirdo? one haircut and a style change, and he’s the same guy as steve. it just makes me so mad to see people cry over his death when he was meant to get killed off!! that’s what shows do, they introduce characters so they can kill them off. not saying you can’t get connected to a character, but when there’s bigger and worse things happening in the show it’s just annoying to see people cry over a character that was destined for a kill off in the first place.

when there’s other characters getting treated or have been treated worse than eddie, to me it’s just lowkey insensitive when people disregard those characters to cry over a dude in a leather jacket.

i expected to see a lot more uproar about lumax, erica, will, and maybe even hopper BUT NOOOO.

i love eddie but i wouldn’t go crying about him on anywhere because it was so expected. and i hate that they use the fact that he died to point out bad writing. LIKE THERES WAY BIGGER AND BADDER WRITING HAPPENING IN THE SHOW!!

like no duh, they’re bad writers…the actors basically had to rewrite the script this season because it was so bad. mike wheeler is the epitome of bad writing in the show.

i just wish people would open their eyes and see that there’s bigger problems then a dude in a leather jacket dying.

#eddie munson was expected to die #lucas has gotten so much shit for what?#stranger things #imagines #will lucas and dustin has done nothing throughout the whole series yet get the worst trama #natalia dyer #lucas sinclair is awesome and you guys haven’t realized it yet #lumax #erica sinclair #lucas sinclair

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racerchix21 · 10 months

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ten random lines

rules: pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. then tag ten people.

tagging: @thesamoanqueen @claymorexpunisher @sarahcakes613 @moxxieswitchblade @wrestlezaynia @himbos-hotline @sinderellanightwolf (y’all are some of my favorite writers 🖤 but feel free to disregard) and then whoever else wants to play

I just wanna see some of my favorite writers get to talk about their fanfics! I know personally this is an odd mix of fandoms 🤣

1. The Ghost of You or Is It? (McDanno)

He does the only thing he think of in the moment and kisses Danny. Puts every last bit of emotion from the last 10 years into the kiss that may very well blow up in his face but if it’s the only way to get Danny to quit ranting then it’s perfect.

2. Mac + Jack + Texas (MacDalton)

Jack Dalton wasn’t known for his patience and being back in Texas was great and all but he missed his found family.

3. Coffee Kisses (Ambrollins hinted Ambrolleigns)

Leaning in and stealing a quick kiss, Dean can taste hints of vanilla and coffee and knows immediately what it is, “It’s Vanilla Latte and it tastes just like you do after one of your absurdly large coffee on cheat days. It tastes like home, it tastes like you and Roman.”

4. Christmases With You (Ambrolleigns)

“I also had some help turning the basement into a home gym that we all use and yes Sethie you can do CrossFit down there. Don’t worry Rome there’s a big couch down there we can sit on to admire our man working out,” Dean says in a stage whisper just to watch Seth’s cheeks turn red.

5. Tequila Tears and Conversations (Roman Reigns x reader)

Kissing me again, Roman asks “how bout you, me and the great big bed over there get even better acquainted? Then maybe we go torment Jey and Seth like the good ole days.”

6. Why Wasn’t I Good Enough? (MoxYuta)

Wheeler was so wrapped up in his feud with Danny for the Pure title and then with Bryan that he couldn’t see his own boyfriend was pushing himself so fucking hard, trying so fucking much to be Regal’s perfect boy, trying to right a ship, fix problems that weren’t his to fix and all it got them was Mox being betrayed once again.

7. Punishing the Pure Brat (DannyYoots)

Just as Claudio begins to build up some steam to really let Garcia have it, he’s hit from behind and all hell breaks loose.

8. Happy birthday baby PS You have a nice butt

Glancing up at Danny standing at the stove taking out his birthday brownies, Wheeler feels a little warm and fuzzy and really blessed that he’s gotten so stupidly lucky to be in love with this beautiful sassy man. “Thank you baby boy and now that the brownies are out of the oven how about you come over here and let the birthday boy have his special kiss.”

9. Maybe Second Chances (Seth Rollins x reader)

He looks angry but then again when doesn’t Rollins look pissed at the world? The answer is never and I really shouldn’t be laughing since I know it’s only liable to piss him off more. But I live to rile Sethie up and he knows it and still falls for it every single time.

10. Breakfast in bed and maybe a little more (like forever) (Zowens)

“Whip cream? Oooohhh you wanna play huh babe,” Kevin teases from behind him and it takes everything in Sami not to laugh.

“It’s not for that but I’m definitely willing to add that to our plans for later if you’re game,” Sami answers putting the finishing touches on their plates of french toast and fresh fruit.

#fanfic game

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padfootastic · 2 years

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it honestly truly baffles me how people completely disregard the devotion sirius showed to james. like it was honest to god devotion. i fully belive if james asked sirius to give his life he would do it in a fucking heartbeat for him. and this is all canon! the biggest petpeeve is when people sideline the importance of james in sirius's life and he's this happy go lucky dude like nope. bruh it's right there him saying he ran to james and the potters after everything happened. they were both each other's everything you have to understand that.and it's fine by so many of the wolfstar , Jily and jegulus authors it's honestly insane. like do you think lily had a chance with james if she was ever rude to sirius. and jegulus as well like please if you think james will ever side against sirus. he took sirius's side in the whomping willow prank for god's sake!!!! and like why are so many remus characterizations just james characteristic passed over to remus. like one of the fics was sirus ran to the lupins after running away from home and please that's a quintessential james and sirius scene don't convert it to wolfstar. there's a reason why sirius went mad after James and Lily's death cause he realised what happened and he how he helped in their dismise by trusting the wrong people. IT'S LITERALLY CANON THAT JAMES WAS THE ONLY ONE EVER WHO COULD REIGN IN SIRIUS WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT.

also don't even get me started on molly Weasley's he's not james. ma'am we know and sirius sure as fuck knows cause i can bet whenever he closes his eyes he sees james dead behind his eyes

and like sirius was saying he's not a child!!! how did she infer that he was doing antics he would have done with james when he said this statement

we, as readers know that Harry's not a child anymore he legit saw a classmate(crush, rip bi!harry) die infront of his eyes. i don't agree with a lot of statements given by the terf but gof was the first blood and the loss of innocence and it was back to the grim reality and harry is right in the middle of it he is not a child babes, he can't be and you mollycoddling him doesn't help. and if he had known things since the beginning his 5th year wouldn't have been such a clusterfuck of tragedies.

sorry for the rant, would be belive if i said i had a few more ready to go waiting for the right moment. i love them so much your honour

okay no ash absolutely no apologies allowed in my inbox 🔪🔪 please feel free to rant anytime and about anything, i am absolutely fkn blessed right now. i cannot tell u how much i enjoyed reading this!!!

it is devotion! and james did ask him the next best thing to that—sirius volunteered to be the bait in a situation he didn’t need to be in 😭😭 no one would’ve suspected wormtail anyway, but he still added another layer of confusion by putting his entire life at risk. that’s so. fuck. i can’t even imagine.

no but i was literally talking about this with someone today??? if ur in the mood to be super emotional, lemme recap it. sirius probably built his self esteem & moral compass around james (because of his upbringing + unlearning, he has a very fragile self image ) and his affirmations probably go something like ‘jamie thinks i’m worth it, jamie believes in me, jamie loves me, he thinks i can do this’ and that’s also why he tries so fkn hard to be the best godfather he can—because he never ever wants to disappoint james (he did once, during the prank, and it still haunts him the way james looked at him—a ‘i thought u were better than this’ expression on his face). like he doesn’t trust himself but his belief in james is unshakeable. also whatever u do, dont think about sirius trying to say these, over and over again to himself, in azkaban and failing because james isn’t here and it’s his fault and he can’t even do one thing right

and oh man, i was literally thinking about that lily thing today, there’s a line in shovel talk that’s basically lily saying she’s going on the date with james and sirius can’t do anything about it and he just looks at her in pity. because you know if he’d ever made his distaste known, james would’ve dropped the whole thing so fast.

yes yes yes!! james could rein sirius in but more importantly, sirius was the only one who could do the same for james. the boy’s head was too big for anyone but S to handle because he was a precious mix of arrogance and sensitivity (thanks effie & flea) and needed to be told things a certain way so he didn’t internalise them and form a complex and only sirius could do it perfectly.

i’m not even gonna touch molly weasley because she annoys me sm and i’ve ranted enough lol (there’s a reason why i have so many ootp era fics 💀)

#sirius black #james potter #harry potter #ash ur so valid for saying this #i hate that they treated harry like a child because it felt so fake #they don’t actually care about helping him—just wanna feel better about themselves #so much of that fuckfest could’ve been avoided if he’d just been included in proper communication and believed he had someone to talk to #also god yes the loss of innocence part is so real #i feel like the basilisk and the third task are so crucial to harry’s development #they’re some of my favorite scenes tbh #because it just really hits home how fkn ridiculous this kid’s life is #honestly i can keep screaming about how j&s are done so dirty all day long #because they didn’t have the greatest friendship the world had ever seen to be sidelined like this!!!#(lol someone needs to come restrain me before i jump out of my seat)#pen’s asks

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lilsnowpea93 · 4 months

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disregard, vent

Life is so overwhelming !!! Rant time lololol ..S2g my life would bebetter if I could attain my salary now (30k) doing visual art and music with graphic design on the side at a reasonable pace(what I actually WANT to do w my life, and what I do end up doing just at a slow rate and often for free cuz idc).. & it’s not like those skills are completely devoid of value at all.. I think I’m just dumb n my stuff isn’t good like that. Like u see other ppl make a living off being creative and get a following, it’s not like it’s impossible at all. It just doesn’t happen for some ppl for overlapping reasons + chance. And it sucks! I try not to dwell on it because it's rly painful after trying for so long. Obv I still do what I want when I can and have enough motivation, n I could give a shit if anyone interacts w things, it makes sense they don’t. I’m most of the problem. (I know this reads as wack and self demeaning, I do tend to make gross looking work and I think I have a brain worm where I get fixated on making something specific I’m rly proud of then all the times I see/hear it later I realize it’s terrible/inaccessible/too silly whatever. It kinda is my fault)

Just is what it is and this is what I deserve but it does actually blow having to do be relegated to dirty jobs cuz that’s the only thing I can mentally handle. (Personal issue, I’m a lil broken) Liiike I could spend my entire life handling trash cleaning floors and toilets. Or I could do my thing every day and flourish! Tho I might feel guilty about that like if my life is sucking like this then there must be so many ppl like that and they deserve to be themselves too. So I guess none of it’s reasonable and a few ppl get lucky and that’s that, making money creatively does seem like just a fluke under capitalism. And likely I’ll never get to have the life I’d like right.. We all deal with that probably to some extent. Just is a bad feeling because it directly reflects on how I’m not good/creative/innovative/original enough. Like I have definitely failed and will definitely continue to fail and will probably never succeed in the way where I can comfortably exist as my full self. (Maybe that’s unreasonable to ask for though..) I understand this comes off as cynical and very silly to say but I’mmm kinda being realistic. Just based off years of experience. And so yeah that’s not great. I feel like every half a year I write this exact thing down fuck me lol

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cazass · 11 months

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Okay so I’ve watched Glass Onion and I haven’t seen a lot of criticism towards it so here’s my meager two cents. Fair warning, most of it is just what I personally didn’t enjoy and doesn’t really count as criticism but oh well. Also, SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS. You can keep reading now.

The movie is set at the beginning of covid- Why? Articles talk about how they wanted to show the ultra rich dealing with covid and using masks and whatnot to flesh out their characters. It didn’t do that for me. Personally it brought me back to a time I don’t want to remember, showed a quick scene where the characters were all (for the most part) quarantined, and then didn’t acknowledge it for the rest of the movie thanks to the help of an ever so convenient vaccination gun (still confused about that part). All in all it didn’t add anything to the movie for me and actively made me more critical of the rest of it.

The Glass Onion- you know, the gigantic literal glass onion that is also a metaphor about how all those layers can be peeled away but in reality the truth was apparent the whole time? Yeah it got old fast for me. Don’t get me wrong symbolism is great, but it’s even better when it’s not shoved right in your face. I understand that Blanc was supposed to be stalling when he was going on and on about the onion’s significance, but that is far from the only instance in which he heavily alluded to the big translucent stink plant.

The ending- The same breath as the Mona Lisa... cool ig, love to see a girlboss winning, but also she didn’t win shit. atp I’m just ranting so feel free to disregard, but you would think that Blanc handing Helen a glass would have a lot more significance than just “hey, go fuck him up”, for example any dna/fingerprints on the glass.

ok yeah so i didn’t have as much to say as I thought I did sue me

#knives out glass onion #glass onion #film #movie reaction #movie review

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jazzythursday · 3 years

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I’m about to go into another very long Marvel rant/dissertation here— mostly for myself— that I started writing soon after the Loki Series finale so please feel free to just scroll past this, because honestly I think I kinda overdid this one. It’s jaded and overly dramatic even for me. You have been warned:

The last 4 Marvel movies/shows I’ve watched left me feeling so completely depressed and unsatisfied and hopeless about the future of popular entertainment and story telling in general, and I know I’m not the only one. The fact that fans are going into these experiences hoping for a good story and character arcs that make sense with prior characterization, and leaving feeling… empty is a very clear sign that their approach leaves a lot to be desired.

Infinite War had some valid reasons to end the way it did, because by having our heroes fall so much harder than ever before, it built up the tension and high stakes for the next film. But what does that do when Endgame leaves us feeling even worse? I wanted them to triumph and finally come together to be better. I expected there would be losses of course but not enough to negate the wins. Instead the characters were subjugated for plot, characterization was watered down, and we lost all the original Avengers besides Thor and Bruce (who was no longer even Bruce). Peter loses Tony, Thor’s previous loses are permanent, and so many other things that, in spite of loving a lot of the movie, mean I haven’t been able to stop being sad about it for literal years. And the amount of thoughtless destruction that seems to be at an all time high when it comes to character’s lives and disregard for properly exploring emotions just doesn’t leave much to be expected at this point. Far From Home was good. It was. I liked it a lot. The acting was wonderful and there were some really interesting themes they grappled with but I still walked out of the theater feeling like there was still so much detachment surrounding a lot of the decisions, a little too much thoughtlessness (that, and the gaping hole of Tony). I’m not going to talk about WandaVistion but I’ll say that I was invested until the start of episode 8, and finished episode 9 feeling drained and tired and sad.

Then we get to Loki, a show which has plagued far too many of my thoughts since I started watching it, and has crushed my hopes for ever truly being happy with a Marvel project ever again. Loki is a character who’s ostensibly felt alienated and unseen for most of his life, and that’s before finding out about his parentage. His first movie ends with his suicide attempt and subsequent fall into the void. His second takes place a year into working under Thanos and ends with him being taken away in chains (yes I know he’s the villain he’s done bad things etc. etc. but for the purposes of this I’m only focusing on his pov). Then his third involves his solitary imprisonment, his mother’s death, and his near-death (considering the likelihood that he was actually stabbed), although it does end on a lighter note with his acquisition of the throne. Then we get his redemption and reconciliation with Thor in Ragnarok, immediately followed by the utter tragedy that is the first 10 minutes of Infinite War, which I don’t think I need to explain.

So what I suppose I’m saying here (very very inadequately) is that after all of that, I can’t believe the proper story to tell in his first chance at being a main protagonist was one where he’s constantly degraded and beat up, convicted of things he didn’t actually do, given no focus on backstory or implied/established motivations, and labeled as a clown and a narcissist! His powers are weakened, he displays almost no recognizable mannerisms or competence, he’s held to a higher moral standard than every other character, shown no respect, and ultimately loses EVEN MORE. We’ve seen him lose and lose and lose and lose again. We’ve seen him die THREE TIMES, we’ve seen him redeemed TWICE. So who in their right mind thinks that the most compelling story to tell after all of that was to see him LOSE AGAIN?! And not only lose, but lose without any real triumph, dignity, or acknowledgment beforehand. Death to the author aside, reading the utter nonsense the team behind it have spread, it’s so clear that it wasn’t made in good faith. Whether in ignorance or true maliciousness, they just don’t care. They didn’t research. They didn’t try and see things from his point of view. They didn’t truly sympathize with him as a person while writing. They didn’t understand. And they truly, truly wanted him to fail.

I’m tired of feeling hopeless at the end of everything, of leaving the theater or turning off the TV wondering why I even bothered, why I even care when I’m just being strung along with as little consideration as an audience as my favorite characters. I wanted to actively see him strive to be better, not just be told he could be. I wanted to see him triumph over his demons, not forget them. I wanted to see him be the “master of magic” that every other damn movie has alluded to, and to use his powers effectively. I wanted him to be powerful. I wanted him to, if not win, then win on a personal level at least. I wanted to see him take agency in his life and PROVE EVERYONE WRONG! And, though it’s now bafflingly controversial to say, I wanted it to be told by an experienced and competent writing and directing team that knew and understood his character and were passionate about telling his story.

I would ascribe to the notion of “don’t like it, don’t watch” if I could but I care to much to not be affected by this obvious decline in quality and awareness. And I’m a relatively recent fan. I haven’t been waiting for Loki to get his moment in the sun for 10 years. I’M NEW HERE, and my heart breaks so much for fans of the original movies who have lost their love of Marvel or Loki because of the way it’s been handled. No one should fall further than they can climb up from, and I’m tired of watching loss after loss and never getting the release of gaining enough of it back. What’s the point of caring about these characters if the writers won’t? Of investing in a connecting cinematic universe if it lacks continuity? Of looking for clues and foreshadowing when there isn’t any and the only twists are random and pander to shock value? The way these pieces/characters are being created and interpreted is reductive and incompetent, and for once I’d like to watch something that feels crafted, inspiring, and gratifying to see to the end.

If some people like the Loki show we got, I have no argument against that, because my own opinion is just as subjective as theirs. Though, I’d like to think that if what I want is for the show to be better out of love for the same character, then what they enjoyed from the show can coexist in that. If anyone’s actually read up to this point, I have to admit I’ve forgotten mine. Mostly I just wanted to express my frustrations over how unfeeling and stale most entertainment, specifically from Marvel as of late, has been.

TL;DR: I care too much, waaay too much, Marvel cares too little, Disney doesn’t care at all, and I don’t know how to accept that.

#jazzy’s thinking too much again #marvel thoughts #marvel critical #loki series critical #loki series negativity #marvel #loki series thoughts #Loki series #why am i like this??#loki

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mrkcore · 3 years

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𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 - 𝐥.𝐣𝐧

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: lee jeno x reader (ft. jaemin)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: soulmates!au, barista!jeno, coffee shop setting ;)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.2k

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluffy fluff ehehe

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): none (mentions of food)

𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨: boyfriend by coin, golden by harry styles, falling for u by mxmtoon & peachy!, in love by khai dreams, olivia by one direction, kiss me kiss me by 5sos, lover by taylor swift

𝐚/𝐧: i’ve had this idea for jeno for the past month, and then boom appears cafe dream lmaoo, happy birthday jeno <3 (feedback is appreciated too! :D)

“lisa, i swear!” you try telling your friend again. “every time i’m here, it always says 4 meters away. it can’t be just a coincidence!”

“are you sure it’s him though?” she questions. “just be sure, that’d be embarrassing if it wasn’t and you went up to him to declare your love only to be shot down.”

“literally every single time i go up to order something, it displays less than a meter, who else would it be?” you’re bouncing in your seat now. you’ve been waiting for a long time to muster up the courage to go and introduce yourself, and maybe hint at your special bond. today, you’ve brought your best friend to give you moral support.

“okay, go do it. i believe in you, don’t back out in the last moment, if this succeeds, you know what that means.” lisa winks at you while you roll your eyes at her tone and what she is hinting at.

“okay,” you sucked in your breath, and exhaled. “whew, i got this.” you tried calming your nervous, excited, very confused nerves.

“go!” lisa pats you as you stand up, walking towards him. you give lisa a last forced smile, and she sends you an encouraging thumbs up back. and you turn around, facing your goal straight on.

it seems like the regular handsome barista is also walking towards the boy too, but it doesn’t matter, nothing is going to stop you.

before the barista can even open his mouth, you start speaking.

“hi! i’m y/n, this might seem weird to say, but i think you’re my soulmate.” you try to smile after blurting it out, wanting to crawl into your hole of a room in embarrassment. especially when the boy tries to hide a laugh, and the barista beside you lets out an annoyed huff and walks back to the counter.

you are so confused, and embarrassed. very embarrassed. did you mention embarrassed?

“uhm, is there a problem-” you look down at your arm, and instead of a 0, what you were expecting, there’s a 2. “oh, oh no. i am so sorry.” you say to the boy in front of you.

“don’t worry about it,” he chuckles. you wanted to die. “i’m jaemin, i think i’ve seen you around the cafe before.”

“yeah, you’re always here when i am and stuff just matched up for some reason, i’m so sorry about the misunderstanding.” you apologize one more time before turning around to walk back to your table, dejected.

“wait one second,” jaemin says, you turn back to face him, confused once more. “you have the wrong person, but you’re right, someone here is your soulmate.”

“jaemin, your coffee.” you turn to see the barista again, this time holding a cup of coffee, no it doesn’t even look like coffee, more like straight up poison. you watch in awe as he happily accepts it and takes a delighted sip.

“ah yes, i’m finally awake.” jaemin smiles brightly. “what were we talking about again? oh right, your soulmate.” you look down at your wrist again, and this time, it displays 0.

“it’s you!” you exclaimed, as if you had an eureka moment, spinning around to face your true soulmate, the barista.

he scoffs before walking back to the counter, you following closely behind him.

“took you long enough.” he said, you leaned on the counter, watching him make another cup of coffee.

“why didn’t you say anything if you knew?” you questioned, your ego slightly bruised.

“it was cute listening to you rant about not being able to find your soulmate, and then realize that they would be in this cafe. the one you come to about every single day.” he turns around and hands you an iced coffee, just the way you like it.

“how long have you known?” you sipped curiously.

“about 2 months? give or take.” he then hands you a cutely made cat cupcake, he sees the way you perked up after given food.

“wow, you really have some good self-control, if that was me, i’d not be able to hold myself back.” you happily munch on the yummy treat, getting some frosting on your top lip.

“yeah, i can tell.” he leans in, wiping the frosting off your lip, handing you a napkin, you feel your face heating up. “oh hey, jaemin owes me $5.” the boy suddenly remembers out of the blue.

“for what?” you finish the cupcake and throw the wrapper in the garbage beside him.

“i bet that you wouldn’t guess it was me.” he smiles to himself, seeming pretty proud of himself. you huffed. “i’m still pretty surprised you had the guts to go up to someone to ask though, congrats.”

“aghh, i just don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me, and just watch me go up to someone and be wrong! what kind of soulmate are you?” you really feel embarrassed, but at least now you know who your soulmate is.

“well, why didn’t you think it was me?” the boy asks you this time. you feel your face hot again, and you turn around, not wanting to face him.

“i thought you were too handsome and i was too nervous to be around you.” you mumble. you had secretly been crushing on him for a while, before you figured out that your soulmate would be in the cafe every single time you were there. but after finding out, you thought he was way out of your league and completely disregarded him.

“what did you say?” he leaned in closer to try and hear you better, but very obviously teasing you. “i didn’t quite catch that.”

“you heard me, dummy.” you pouted, grumbling as you crossed your arms.

“i thought you said i made you nervous, what happened to that huh?” he laughs, teasing you further.

“well, now i’m not because i know you’re my soulmate.” you catch lisa looking at you, puzzled at what is unfolding in front of her eyes. you sent a pair of thumbs up to reassure her. “anyways soulmate, you got a name don’t you?”

“it’s jeno, it’s also on my name tag, do you not pay attention to me at all?” jeno pouts, making you swoon a bit.

“i know your name! i just wanted to hear you say it.” you try and defend yourself. jeno laughs at how easily you are worked up. “so, soulmate, does that mean i get free food here now?” you wink at him as he looks at you in disbelief.

“that was my hard work for these 2 months, i could’ve given that cupcake to me to treat myself.” jeno complains. “and i’m really hungry right now.”

“hmm, are you sure?” you try again.

“no.”

“please?” you look at him with wide and sparkly eyes you know he can’t resist.

“negotiable.” he crosses his arms, facing away from you as he blushes.

“see! i knew you were a softie.” you poke him in the side.

smiles grow on both of your faces and you know you’ve found your soulmate.

258 notes · View notes

iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

Text

Millie’s Massive Fic Rec Post

To celebrate 700 followers I’m showing all the love, people. What you’ll find here are fics that were sent to me who I agree deserve a bit more love as well as fics I’ve read and adored. They’re split into characters so all you need to do is scroll to find your fave and bask in its glory. There is some swearing but it’s only because it’s the only way I know how to express my feelings. This is also my thank you to each of the authors involved for taking the time out of their day to write these fics for free. There are also some authors I know I’ve forgotten and I am so so sorry if I have, I promise you it wasn't intentional, I love you all very much.

As always, I love and appreciate you all. Let’s get started on this ridiculously long post!!

Harry Potter:

Don’t Walk Away - @kalimagik - THE ANGST. I was on the edge of my seat through it all; I knew what was coming but did I look away? No. I was completely sucked it and that ending... oh my god, I was broken. If you’re looking for an incredibly written piece of angst that has you in tears, then this is the fic.

Dandelions - @lupins-sweater - The first post of A Very Harry Potter Summer and it was kicked off so brilliantly!! This fic had me wishing for my very own Harry to take morning walks with. It’s so wonderful; it has you wanting a summery morning and dandelions to make wishes on.

Always You - @bl597 - inspired by Louis Tomlinson’s song Always You, so I was already sold on that front. It’s an angst piece - Harry pining from afar, regretting his decisions but with a happy ending. I love that it's written from his perspective, that he realises what he’s done. I really do love this fic, and I aim to work my way through her masterlist!

The Truth Behind The Kiss - @justauthoring - the anticipation from the first sentence, I was on the edge of my seat. I loved every single word of this fic, it’s written so well. I just, I need you all to read this fic bc it is SO GOOD. Harry, Triwizard tournament, feelings, fluff - it has it all.

For how long? - @siriusly-addicted-to-writing - It seems for Harry fics I am drawn to angst even though I write nothing but fluff for him. This fic is no different. Dani, this fic is wonderful, I love it. You capture the angst brilliantly! Go read this everyone!

Ron Weasley:

“can we pretend I never said that?” - @hello-everyfandom - I love this so much! Ron calling himself ‘the snog master’ had me snorting out loud - it’s great. And then the dialogue continues to be brilliant. I really enjoyed this fic! Ron needs more attention people!!

Crossing Lines - @kalimagik - ADORABLE. CUTE. WONDERFUL. Oh, Ron. Everything about this fic is marvellous. The relationship between Ron and the reader, the realisation, the meddling. It was perfect, so so perfect.

birthday - @lupinsdarling - FLUFFY AND CHAOTIC AND I LOVE IT. Why oh why doesn't Ron get more love? Why doesn't this fic have more attention? It’s so fluffy and Ron is so bloody cute that my heart physically hurt while reading this. It hurt because it was so PURE.

Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley:

Girls in one room - @eleven-times-lively - Hermione x Reader - oh my god I snorted at Ron, I love it. And the fluff? There’s so much fluff, I can't deal with the fluff. If you’re going to read a Hermione fic, read this one!

just as lovely - @vanillann - this is so pure! it’s so wonderful, and the relationship between Hermione and the reader is so cute!

Hug ur friends drabble - @firewhisky-kisses - Ginny x Reader - it’s the cutest thing I’ve read, oh my god, is it cute! I love everything about this, Steph is so talented! But I go into that further down.

Neville Longbottom:

Never the Bride - @obsessedwithrandomthings - Dee’s fic reads as a rom com, it’s so brilliantly done. By the time you're at the end, you feel as if you’ve just watched a two hour rom com and need to squeal into your pillow because of the feels. I love this fic.

Moonlight Swim - @kalimagik - Neville. Oh, Neville. This fic stole my heart and it won't give me it back. The idea of a moonlight swim with Neville? Here for it. And the confession? *chefs kiss* incredible.

Healing - @firewhisky-kisses - I cannot put into words how much I loved this fic,. Steph is just so incredibly talented and writes Neville so wonderfully. Healing is the first fic of two and that second part had me in happy tears because Neville deserves the world. I go back and reread this a lot when I need to boost my emotions, so thank you for this Steph.

Good News - @peachesandpinks - Let me explain something here, Ron repeatedly and without fail hypes up fic writers to the point where she makes me cry happy tears at her comments. Her writing (and I'm going to swear now) is fucking brilliant. I love it, I adore it. Ren has a way with words that I only hope to master. This fic? Marvellous, magnificent, wonderful - pick a synonym and go wild. It’s so sweet and wholesome - what more could you possibly want other than to be on her taglist?

Tally Marks - @obsessedwithrandomthings NEVILLE WITH TATTOOS PEOPLE! NEVILLE! WITH! TATTOOS! Do I need to say anymore? Yes? Okay. Dee is a fantastic writer but she writes Neville perfectly. We have had many conversations about her love for Neville and her love for him shines through in this fic. She writes with such care and I love reading everything.

Draco Malfoy:

The Purist - @mxl-foy - This series is so good. Like, so good, that if it was a physical book, it would be sat on my shelves. I would religiously check her account every time I came onto Tumblr to see if a new chapter was posted, and if there was, you best believe there was a happy dance. It’s so incredibly thought out and plotted. And there’s going to be a part two! It’s so great!

Notes - @malfoys-demigod - This is so sweet! I live for fluffy Draco as you all know if you read my Draco fics, but I adore reading fluffy Draco as well. This fic is so adorable, I love it!

Always so Cold - @teheharrypotter - Five times Draco gave you his sweater and the one time you accepted. I love these sort of fics, they’re my indulgence fics. Jealous!Draco is one of my favourite things to read as well. and he’s so dramatic. I couldn't ask for more in a fic, definitely one of my favourites.

the distance between us - @sdicapriox - This is a genius idea. I love this idea, and I love how it was executed. Almost 10k words of brilliance. I love the reader and her first letter to Draco and her entire personality - fish funeral? genius. I really like how you portray Draco and the effort you put into his internal monologue, it really is something excellent. The ending as well, I won't spoil, I just urge people to read this.

Heartbreak - @slytherinprincess03 - you have to have a little bit of angst in a Draco fic rec right? This fic has it but the ending is perfect and fluffy, gah! I love it!. Not to mention, Draco is such a gentlemen in it. I can't wait to see what else you write, lovely!!

Hardly A Date - @fanficflaneuse - I love this fic. I love it so much. I tend not to read sibling!reader but I adored this. The relationship between Harry and the reader, and then Draco and the reader. It’s amazing. I could rant for hours and hours about how much I love her work - her series are out of this world and she captures Draco’s character perfectly.

George Weasley:

Red with Rage - @kalimagik - AGH ANOTHER OF MAGGIE’S FICS. The prank? Genius, and that end line - incredible. Her characterisation of the twins is so good, I love reading her fics. She deserves more than 300 followers! So if you don’t already follow her, go now!

When Everything Changes - @strawberriesonsummer - Based on the song Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran. This is so pure, it’s so fluffy. George is adorable in this! I can't wait to read what else you write for George!

Come back to you - @dreamer821 - JJ, JJ, JJ. Ugh, this fic is a work of art and George is so bloody caring. I mention this a lot but the relationship between George and the reader is so important to get right and JJ does it flawlessly. My heart hurts for this fic and that last line, LOVE IT. I live for how JJ writes George, I could read her work all day. GO READ HER STUFF, YOU WON’T REGRET IT.

Fred Weasley:

The Right Bird - @dreamer821 - I’m not only just involving this because it was used in my writing challenge but oh my days, it is so wonderful. The relationship between Fred and the reader is just *chefs kiss* perfect. JJ has such a way with words and I just love how she depicts Fred.

Lost, are we? - @prongsies - I think I’m going to make my way through your masterlist because I loved this so much. The teasing was so cute, and Fred helping her at the beginning? Ahhhhh brilliant.

Watermelon Sugar - @prongsies - COMPLETING THE FINEST SERVICE TO THE HP FANDOM AND WRITING FICS INSPIRED BY FINE LINE - I SALUTE YOU. This is so good, so so good. The references to the song are used so well and that little bit of fluff at the end? Amazing. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to put the song on repeat now...

Percy Weasley:

Nothing We Can’t Forgive - @firewhisky-kisses - This series really does showcase Steph’s talent. She’s an incredible writer and this fic deserves all the attention it can possibly get. It’s the first Percy fic I’ve ever read and I’m already planning a reread. Steph captures Percy’s character flawlessly whilst also depicting his healing in a manner that is so relatable. I’ve linked the masterlist because once you start reading, you won't want to stop.

Sight is Relative - @hufflefluff-writer - This fic has a blind reader which I think makes it all the more beautiful. Amelia’s characterisation of Percy really is wonder, she captures him brilliantly. The fic after they eat is quite literally breathtaking. The description of colours, the dialogue - it’s fantastic.

Hufflepuff!Reader Headcanons - @soft-nerdy-wolf - I loved this from the beginning where the reader was already helping Percy out of his comfort zone by disregarding curfew. Then the further, I read, I loved more and more because of how fluffy it is! And the confession? So so sweet! This needs more attention!

Bill Weasley:

Estrellita - @fanficflaneuse and @hufflefluff-writer - It is a fic inspired by the Sound of Music, what more could you possibly want? It’s so delicate and incredibly written by two extremely talented writers. The relationship between Bill and the reader = adorable. The whole series is so fantastic, I’ve linked part one and you’ll find the rest on Amelia’s masterlist, which you’ll need because you’ll be reading the entire thing in one sitting, I swear.

Charlie Weasley:

As Family the First Time - @kalimagik - you’ll have noticed that Maggie features a lot here but that’s because she is so damned talented that I adore most of her fics. The first Charlie Weasley fic I read and I fell in love. It’s just so fluffy and humorous with features from the whole Weasley family. Basically, by the end of it I was ready to raise dragons in Romania with a certain Weasley.

Meeting the Weasleys - @soft-nerdy-wolf - This made smile all sorts of stupid. From the beginning, I wanted to own Hepaestus (the perfect name for a dragon in my opinion - Zeus’ own forger, amazing.) And the fluff with Charlie straight after? I love, love, love it as well as the fun relationship they have. And the pranks with Fred and George? Ah! I just love.

Dragons blurb - @hufflefluff-writer - I know it’s only a blurb but oh my god, I loved it, I love it. Jealous!Charlie and a buttload of fluff - the best to boost your mood.

Cedric Diggory:

A Ghost Story - @wondernimbus - So beautifully haunting. Ysa has a way with words that make you feel as if you're physically there, living the fic alongside the characters. There aren't really any words to describe how talented Ysa is - all I can do is urge to read her masterlist and discover for yourself.

My Boys - @potterverseimagine - Cedric and dogs - I am in love. This fic is so sweet and pure and playful. Playful Cedric is so great omg and this fic is full to the brim with it. I just... ah I love this so much. AND HE’S ALIVE. I LOVE FICS WHERE HE’S ALIVE. Thank you for this!!

It’s a Date - @angelinathebook - Lena, this is so good. You need to write more Cedric! Ah, I hate those boys so much but I love Cedric!! This is so good! Cedric needs more love 100% - if you haven't read this already, you need to read it now!!

Sirius Black:

Lost Time - @obsessedwithrandomthings - Reader standing up for who she loves against Bellatrix? Yes, we love that. Slow burn romance with Sirius? I love that even more. Dee never fails to astound me when she writes Sirius, and I know she won’t fail to astound you too. Seriously (lol), go through Dee’s masterlist, read her works, you won't regret it. She’s the loveliest.

Our Godson - @nebulablakemurphy - Christina is so talented. The letters!!! Are so good!!! AND WHEN THEY FINALLY MEET? My heart! Christina, it's as if you broke it and then rebuilt it again all in the span of 2.8k words especially with that ending. I love this fic, and you will love this fic.

Curiosity - @siriusly-the-best-gryffindor - I don’t know what else to say that I haven't already said in my reblog but I love this fic. I am heavily pierced and heavily tattooed and I love seeing a reader as the same. I love all of this fic, it 100% needs more love!

The Jimmy Jab Games - @im-a-writer-right - A Sirius fic inspired by Brooklyn-99. I loved every single chapter, it made me so happy. And that final chapter, I was smiling like a fool throughout. Sirius is a dream through this, and that bet? I love! I’ve linked the masterlist because you won’t want to move as you read.

Secrets and fears - @firewhisky-kisses - Steph does it again with the masterpieces. Honestly, I squeal a little whenever I see her in my notifications with a new fic because everything she writes is stellar, and this is no exception. If you’re going to read anything tonight, let it be her masterlist. If you haven't read her latest Sirius piece as well, you are sorely missing out.

Remus Lupin:

Protect - @obsessedwithrandomthings - Oh man, this one hurt. There are so many feels to this fic, so many layers. The enemies to lovers? Amazing. That ending as well - so fucking good. Like everything Dee writes, so fucking good.

Sleeping Beauty - @poppin-potter - This is adorable. There’s no other words for it. The relationship between the reader and Remus is so cute, I was smiling all the way through it. Not to mention the relationship between the reader and the Marauders, so bloody good. And that ending? It was so peaceful, like I was reading and I was like yeah, I would’t mind a piece of that.

Pain of reality - @heloisedaphnebrightmore - I had to involve some Remus angst, and oh my word. You smashed my heart into pieces in the beginning and had put it back together by the end. Heloise is an incredible writer, so so talented. This is a Remus fic you cannot miss out on!

Bruise and Scars - @peachesandpinks - Soulmate AU and Marauders Era Remus. What more could you possibly want? It’s poetic. If you look to my Neville section, you’ll see why I love Ren’s writing so much but let me tell you, I am a SUCKER for Remus. Always have been, always will be. You will not regret reading this fic or any of Ren’s fics.

Nights like These - @teheharrypotter - another fic in A Very Harry Potter Summer and the description in this fic is so good! The way the summer night described has you feeling every moment of it. And the conversation between Remus and the reader is so beautiful, where they touch upon their grief. It’s a wonderfully written piece of work.

James Potter:

Numb Love - @heloisedaphnebrightmore - Unrequited love is like my guilty pleasure because I love the angst of it, and this fic. Oh this fic, it destroyed me and I loved every single minute of it. How this fic doesn't have more notes, I have no clue. It’s a masterpiece of emotions.

Reading between the lines - @approved-by-dentists - ohhh this fic is great, I love the flirtation between the reader and James in the beginning all the way to end. It was one of the first James fics I read (I’m late to the party, I’m well aware) and omg I love it. Just go read the fic!

Book-thief - @wondernimbus - I’m going to repeat my words from earlier, there are no words to describe Ysa’s talent. James Potter and a bookshop and I was sold. She captures his character so brilliantly. Just... go binge her work.

Summer revelations - @pregnant-piggy - I keep saying this about all the fics I put on here but I love this fic! I love it! First, I love James. Second, I need those muffins - seriously, where can I get these muffins? And their realisations and confessions! It’s such a pure fic, I’m absolutely in love with your portrayal of James.

Newt Scamander:

Cheeky Niffler - @eleven-times-lively - reader is an archaeologist - from that moment, I was sold. I loved reading this, I loved the idea and I love Niffler as it is! I always need more Newt in my life and this is perfect.

Online Love - @strawberriesonsummer - Modern AU! I really loved this idea, I love the idea of Newt with a phone and ringing the wrong number. It’s such a wonderful fic, I haven't read Newt in so long so this was such a lovely one to read! I can’t wait to read what other Newt fics are posted!

desire - @blisfvll - I am a huge fan of their works; their Draco fics are incredible and their Newt fics are just the same. This had me feeling all sorts of emotions, and I loved every second of it.

You stared Newt right in the eyes. - @fantasticnewtimagines - I didn't know what the title to this was so I just type out the first sentence, I hope you don't mind! This is a delicious piece of angst with a lovely, happy ending. I adore this piece so much because it conveys so much. I love it!!

MARVEL:

I want to take a moment to appeal to the followers of mine who also enjoy reading marvel. @shaynawrites23 has started to write some marvel fics and even entered my writing challenge and her fics definitely deserve some attention! She’s a wonderful writer and her fics are so cute! If you’re a fan of Bucky, you’ll love these fics!

Catty

Soulmate

Rosy Proposal

1K notes · View notes

txdoroki · 3 years

Note

Hello ^^~

May I request Todoroki, Bakugo, Midoriya and Denki's reaction to the readers confession? In which they also have a crush on the reader? 💜

hi! yes ofc,, sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! been busy >,<

since it’s so long it’ll be under the cut :^

include todoroki, bakugou, midoriya, denki, kirishima :P

might do a pt 3, lmk what characters yall wanna see ^-^

part 2 has been done

words: 1696

not edited btw i wrote this at 4am lmk if something doesnt make sense and i’ll fix it ahhhhhhhhhh

todoroki would be like 0-0 the entire time.

“hey todoroki, wanna go out on a date with me? we could go to the movies or wherever, it’s your choice,” you smiled up at him while he walked beside you, carrying both of your bags of schoolwork and books while he stared off at the road in front of you both.

he had always made an effort to do small, caring things for you. he’d hold the door, carry your books, or walk you home after school among many other things. you didn’t think much of it, you’d both been friends for a while, so you figured he was just being kind. no, no that wasn’t it.. he was just bad at showing he wanted to be more than just kind. more than just your friend from a while ago.

he was taken aback by your question, and internally cursed at himself for not asking you weeks ago.

“um, todoroki?” you softly shook his arm when he seemed to have zoned out on the ground, but your bright smile didn’t fade. he adored that from you, he loved how eager you were to spend time with him. to talk with him. to try and learn about him. to do anything at all with him. you were so sweet and understanding, always.

“oh, yeah sure,” he nodded at you, glancing down at you from sheer nervousness that you’d be laughing at him. that it’d be a prank.

when you picked up on how on the edge he seemed to be, you leaned into him a bit, a goofy attempt at ensuring you wanted to go and it wasn’t a forced thing.

“you know, i’ve liked you for a while,” you grinned at him, winking when you saw his eyes quickly flash between content and joy.

“me too,”

bakugou would be like ??!??!?!?!?!?!!???!?!!? who???? me??!?!?!?!?!!?? how??!?!?!?!?!?! screaming internally but on the outside like duhhhh

“hey, bakugou, i have a crush on you, by the way,” you whispered in his ear from behind the beanbag chair he was seated in. him and denki were in the middle of a wii tennis match, mina, sero, and kirishima all focusing on it to see who won.

“what? fucking dumbass, hold on a sec,” he scoffed when you ran your hair through his hair, ruffling it while he tried batting your hand away with his free one.

he tried to maintain focus on the match, lowkey trying to impress you with him winning. it was difficult, his mind kept drifting off to you and your cute face and your cute- back to the game, he’s gotta win. for you. after what felt like forever, he finally won, then dragged you out of denki’s dorm.

“ooo sneaky link?” you heard mina giggle, and the three boys that remained in the dorm roared with laughter.

it got louder when bakugou screamed over his shoulder as he took you by the hand away from the dorm, “fuck off, extra, hell no,”

once you were both out of earshot he smirked, “so, you think i’m hot?” he rolled his eyes when you giggled and nodded, and a blush covered both of your faces, “well, you’re okay, i guess,”

“so when’s the date?” you smiled at him, chuckling when he pulled out his phone to check his fucking calendar app. such an old man.

after a few seconds, he pulled up a date on his phone and turned it to you. only a week from then.. ”february 14,” he winked at you and walked away, not even turning back, “see you at the dorm, dumbass,”

midoriya would be like ≧◉◡◉≦

“all might’s spot as the top hero will not be easily passed by endeavor, or anyone else. he’s great for many reasons, would you like to hear them?” he only paused for a second, turning his head to see your amused nod before immediately continuing, “well first of all his quirk is-”

“midoriya, i wanna date you, if you want,” you interrupted and slowly put a hand on his arm, softly smiling at him.

“huh?” the small sentence shook him from his ranting, and he turned his entire body to look at you. your cheeks heated from the disoriented stare he gave you. he was that shaken up by something you’d said? “really?”

“yes, of course. you’re very handsome and very passionate and ve-”

“yeah of course i’ll date you, thank you, y/n,” he kissed your forehead before turning back to the school hallway, ignoring the excited giggles of his classmates, “okay, so all might’s quirk is obvi....” his mind started wandering to how excited he was at the thought of dating you. it was a dream come true. “oh, sorry, so his quirk is obviously very good for hero w-”

“midoriya, can we go to your dorm after school?” you interrupted him again, smiling sweetly at him. sometimes it was difficult for him to not talk about heroes and all about them all, but you understood and tried helping out with other things.

“oh, of course, sweetie.. hah, can i call you sweetie? or would you prefer just y/n?” he began going on and on about the different things he wanted to call you if you were comfortable, not stopping until you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to both of yours next bell.

ugh, calculus.

denki is like oh.? hehehehehehehehe

you were sprawled out on your best friend’s bed, laying starfish on your back as you huffed about how frustrated and annoying today was. although you held back the most important part. it was especially frustrating how much you adored him. the good ole denki kaminari. you had these feelings for quite a while, trying your best not to confess. i mean, he was a class flirt, he wouldn’t like you back, right?

nah. he hadn’t flirted with anyone other than you in months. and you were the only one that didn’t pick up on it.

“c’mon, y/n, i know you aren’t telling the full story. say what’s on your mind,” denki lightly ran his fingers up and down your right leg. it tickled but not enough to be uncomfortable.

“i can’t,” you groaned, giggling when he rolled his eyes and persisted, saying no matter what he wouldn’t tell anyone.

“if you tell me, i’ll give you five bucks, y/n,” he chuckled when you sighed and finally nodded. when you sat up, he turned so you could tell he was listening to what you had to say.

“fine, but only for the money,” you giggled, “i uh.. i’ve been interested in you for a really long time now.. but i understand if you don-”

wait what

he kissed you, moving his hand up to cup your cheek. your eyes slowly closed, leaning into his touch.

holy shit he kissed you???

when you were let go, your cheeks felt burning hot.

“denk-”

he kissed you again, and you melted into it. it felt like fireworks, euphoria filling your body.

“so does this mean you like me back?” you nervously played with your hands, trying your best to disregard the harsh red blush that was thrown on your face.

“well, duh, took ya long enough,” he chuckled, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

you cried out when you heard the click of his phone camera, and went to hide yourself.

“awe you look so beautiful, y/n. can’t wait to brag about you, baby,” he winked at you, typing something into his phone.

later that day you checked snapchat and saw on his private story the photo of you plus a caption, it read,

“they finally realized, big dummy. y/n if you see this, you’re lucky you’re a good kisser ;)”

you shook your head and ran to his dorm, pounding on the door. you were gonna beat him up.

kirishima is a big ole softie duhhh everyone knows this. he best boy, no arguing!!

you sighed as kirishima held you to his chest, the lovely feeling of your growing feelings for him hummed in your chest. you had tried hard to push it back, how would that work out? would he reciprocate? was this only platonic?

“are you alright, y/n?” he whispered into your neck when he heard the sigh, trying to hide the deep red hue on his cheeks from you.

you both had agreed not to catch feelings for each other, fine at first with just cuddles and sweet compliments. no specific ties to the affections, just a way for the both of you to feel loved. an ideal thing to have, except that both of you were slowly breaking the agreement.

you both ached for each other, but neither of you wanted to be the first to admit it. it was simply too risky.

“y-yeah, sorry, just thinking,”

“awe, no need to be sorry, pumpkin, what’s that pretty brain of yours thinking of?” he ran his fingers through your hair, appreciating the shivers of content that had you moving a small bit in his hold.

when you didn’t respond, he cocked an eyebrow, wondering if you hadn’t heard him or if you just chose to be quiet.

“pebble, what’re you thinking about?” he asked again, gently running his hand up and down your arm.

too deep in your thoughts to actually comprehend you were saying this out loud and not in your head, you whispered, “i wanna date you, i don’t want this to be just platonic. i need to be with you, kiri,”

“oh? you need to?” he smirked, chuckling when your eyes widened as you realized you had actually said that out loud, “well, if it’s a need.. i can make it happen, of course,”

“w-wait what?”

“you said you need to be with me, you weren’t lying, were you?” you slowly shook your head no, avoiding his gaze that bore into your skin, “let’s do that then, how’s that sound, pumpkin?”

“good,” you smiled into his chest, trying to move your hand to your arm to pinch you. were you dreaming?

you weren’t, this was real.

the man you’d liked for a while liked you back, oh hell yeah.

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anarmorofwords · 3 years

Note

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

#the last hours #tlh #alastair carstairs #shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #anti charles fairchild #is this anti anna?#kamala joshi #ariadne bridgestock #chain of iron #chain of gold #spilling the tea

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bvidzsoo · 3 years

Text

Poison (Finale)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

Warning: swearing, drinking, smut, violence, blood, death

Word count: 21, 357

Summary: Sana seems to be all up in your business lately, snooping around you. She’s not satisfied nor happy that you’re around Mingyu, so she makes sure to dig up more information about you. You aren’t aware of the danger you’re put in; you just want to enjoy your day with your boyfriend and his friends on their yacht.

Taglist: @chal-kagyu @taeyongandfree @minkwans @itsdnguyenxoxo @rjsmochii

Unable to tag: @cheolliehugs @3rachaonlyfans @leahxxiong

A/N: Don’t get scared by the tags, proceed on reading! :) There will be a final A/N at the end of the chapter, so I won’t say anything else. I’m writing one more standalone oneshot in the Posion universe, it will be Wonwoo’s story. Happy reading, hope you enjoy!

Windows down and music blaring, Vernon and I rolled down the streets of Seoul. The cool breeze of the warm morning whipped at our hair and I bobbed my head along the rhythm of the music as Vernon and I screamed along to the lyrics. As promised, we went on our breakfast date and now he was driving me to work. One week had passed since Mingyu met my parents and I was mortified last night when I saw him texting with my mother. He said before he left, my mother approached him and asked him to exchange numbers in order to keep in touch. She asked Mingyu to text her anytime he needed something or wasn’t sure about something, or if he wanted to complain about me to her, and she’d gladly answer him. Turns out, they’ve been chatting daily about random things and Vernon was on the verge of dying when I very furiously and loudly told him this, totally disregarding the food that was unchewed in my mouth. The song came to an end and Vernon turned down the volume a bit, stopping at a red light. A sigh left his lips and I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

He glanced at me before he chuckled, “Nothing…I just haven’t done this in long.”

“What? Screamed the lyrics of a song while driving around?” He chuckled again and shook his head.

“No, felt carefree and happy? Something like that…”

“Ay,” I scoffed and gave Vernon a look, “Hoshi – no, Soonyoung has told me about all the trips you and Seungkwan always go on.”

“Yeah girl, but you are cooler than Seungkwan.” I started laughing as the light turned green and Vernon started driving again.

“Too bad I’m taken, and also, never tell Seungkwan that…he’ll skin me alive.” Vernon laughed and nodded, clearly agreeing with me. It wasn’t hard to guess that Seungkwan still hadn’t warmed up to me and he probably never would. Our personalities didn’t match well and both of us found the other one a pushover and annoying. There were rare occasions when we got along really well, like those Monopoly games where we randomly teamed up and surprisingly killed off everyone and won, yeah, these guys played a different version of Monopoly that made sense only to them.

“I don’t understand one thing…” I muttered quietly and Vernon hummed to show me he was listening closely, “You guys keep telling me how nice it is to spend time with me, how I make you forget about your worries blah blah blah…”

“How many of us have said that to you?” Vernon asked with a laugh and I pouted, counting the members of SVT who have told me that at one point.

“I mean…Chan approached me just three months after I met you guys, asking me if when I had free time I’d like to play videogames with him, because he liked my calming presence. Then, sometime when Soonyoung was drunk, he also confessed he really liked me and hoped Mingyu would keep me around forever, then Seokmin and even Jihoon proceeded to tell me that being around me made them feel normal. I’m pretty sure at some point Minghao and Jeonghan too might have said something…Now you and well…Mingyu said so too.”

Vernon nodded with his mouth in an ‘O’ shape and I chuckled as I watched him amused, his expression funny as he hummed deeply.

“Well…like I said, you’re cool and everyone from SVT likes you because you’re nice and very straightforward, which quite frankly, many people are afraid to do when it comes to us. Everyone who knows about our reputation is scared of us, bows down to us and pleases us before we could even voice what we need. I guess you not giving a fuck about who we are is a very liberating feeling, some of us do miss having a normal life, you know?” Vernon’s words settled in my mind and I nodded, offering him a small smile as he pulled up to the bookstore.

“Sometimes it would be just nice to shut up though.” I said with a chuckle and Vernon laughed, “Like that one time when I said Jeonghan couldn’t use a gun because he was a tech genius…and then we went on that duel to find out who was right…all I’m saying is, good thing Wonwoo found us before we could do much damage to each other. Jeonghan was really pissed off and I was ready to shoot him.”

Vernon shook his head as he surely remembered the incident, he said they’ve never heard Wonwoo screaming that loudly before, let alone scolding someone that was older than him. Safe to say, everyone who was present at their vacation house that day swore to never tell Mingyu about the incident, sure that Jeonghan would lose his precious fingers for even daring to challenge me.

“Mingyu shouldn’t fuck up things with you.”

I scoffed and undid my seatbelt, “Slowly I’ve been here for almost a year, Vernon, I think he’s doing fine.”

He offered me a smile as I leaned over the middle console to give him a quick hug, getting my purse from the backseat and then I got out of his car, waving at him as Vernon drove away. I turned and headed inside the bookstore, heading for the backroom. I left my jacket on the hanger and purse in my locker and pulled my hair in a low ponytail, putting on my name tag. I walked to the front of the store and took my place behind the cashier, turning on the computer that was next to it.

“Y/N?” I heard Irene calling from the storage room.

“Me; why was the door unlocked?!” I called back to her as I heard boxes being placed on each other.

“I thought I locked it, sorry!” She called back and I shook my head, sitting in the chair as Irene came up to the front desk with two boxes on top of each other.

“You always forget locking the door, it’s for your own safety.” I scolded my friend and she just rolled her eyes, placing the boxes next to each other.

“I know, I know…now help me unbox these.” She said as she pointed at the second box as she got to open the first one.

“What are these for?”

“Boss texted me saying he got some new books that we’ll have to wrap up in wrapping as he plans on organizing a blind-date Bookfest.” My eyes widened as I opened the box and I nodded at Irene.

“Nice idea, when are we doing it?”

“After he comes back from the conference he’ll be attending, so maybe like…in three weeks?” Irene thought as she took all the books out from the box and then placed a green and blue wrapper on the counter.

“I want the blue one.” I said as I quickly placed my hand on it, Irene going for the same one. She rolled her eyes at me and I stuck my tongue out at her, getting all the books from the box on the counter. She took the green wrapper and tapped the screen of the computer.

“We won’t be open for at least one more hour, put on some nice music.” I chuckled and proceeded to find a radio station that played good music to put on. Irene nodded contently as both of us started wrapping the books up and humming along to the songs. Irene’s round glasses were on the bridge of her nose and her hair was in a bun today. She wore a strapless black top and red dress pants, looking extra sexy.

“Something fancy happening today?” I spoke up after I was done checking her out and Irene gave me a brief glance as she cut up the wrapper for the next book.

“Why?”

“You’re looking a little too hot for someone who came in for work at a bookstore.” I teased her with a smirk, narrowing my eyes at her as she threw me a look. I chuckled and she shrugged, holding the wrapper down for me to tape.

“I spent last night with Jeonghan; he might come around later too…I don’t know yet.” She muttered absentmindedly and I hummed with a smile.

“So…you’re like a thing now?”

“Not really.” She shrugged, looking at me with a grimace, “Definitely could be if I wanted it to. He said he’d like to date me, but I’m really not into that right now.”

I wrapped up the next book, shrugging at her, “I mean, Jeonghan is a pretty nice dude. I don’t know if I’d miss a chance like that, but maybe it’s better if you don’t get too involved…”

I hoped the music drowned out my quiet words, but Irene still heard me well, “Why? Does he give you bad boy vibes too?”

I chuckled and realized Irene meant it seriously, so I cleared my throat and looked at her, “I mean, yeah, he does. I don’t want you to end up hurt, so just go with your intuition.”

“To be honest,” Irene’s voice raised a few octaves as she slammed her hands on the counter, “Mingyu doesn’t seem very trustworthy either, like—Jeonghan might give me bad boy vibes, but Mingyu—he’s just bad news, Y/N.”

“I thought you liked Mingyu?” I asked Irene with furrowed eyebrows and she chuckled, shaking her head.

“Sure, he’s handsome, but there’s something off about him. It’s not even his dominating aura, I might have been drunk in the club but I still saw how possessive he got over you. When you two started dancing, I accidentally made eye contact with him and I got scared he’d rip my head off with the look he was giving me. And other times too—I don’t know, I don’t like the way he thinks you’re ‘his’ when there’s nothing going on between you two.” I placed my hands on the counter as Irene finished her rant with furrowed eyebrows, looking at me questioningly. Since everyone already knew about Mingyu and I being in a relationship, it would’ve been rude to keep her in the dark for longer.

“Actually…Mingyu and I are dating, Irene.” I told my friend and her eyebrows furrowed and then she scoffed.

“Don’t tell me I’m the last one to find out.”

“You aren’t the last one to find out.” I played along with her and she rolled her eyes, leaning against the counter with her arms resting on top of it.

“That’s a lie, how rude of you, I thought you were my friend!”

“I am!”

“For how long have you been dating?” Irene raised her eyebrows and I pursed my lips, my fingers tapping against the counter.

“For little over a month now.” I answered her.

“Is he good to you?” Irene asked with concern lacing her voice and I offered her a small happy smile.

“Too good sometimes.”

“A man is never too good, Y/N.” Irene gave me a look and I started laughing as the front door opened, the bell chiming loudly.

“We are not open yet!” Irene called loudly, and a bit harshly, as she turned around to face the door. My glare was instant as it fell on the person who walked in, her blonde hair falling in waves down her back. She wore dress pants and a low-cut top as she carried her bag on her arm.

“I’m not here to buy a book—” Sana’s shrill voice echoed around the room and I sighed, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I know exactly why she’s here.

“What do you want then?” Irene’s voice was harsh and I didn’t understand why, as she glared at the woman.

“I have some questions to ask Y/N,” Sana’s eyes fell on me and I raised my eyebrows at her, “I never got to investigate her deeper.”

“Oh, so is it ethical to find me at my work place and question me? You aren’t even wearing your uniform.” I snapped at Sana as she walked up to the counter, placing her bag on top of the books wrapped in blue wrapping. Irene stood beside her and she gave me a look, before she looked back at Sana with a glare. I didn’t understand where her sudden rage came from, but I didn’t question it as I embraced myself mentally for whatever questions Sana had. We remained silent, the music playing only, as Sana opened her bag and felt around it before taking out her phone. She typed on it for a few seconds before she placed it on top of the counter, pressing the recording button; she planned to record our conversation.

“This is Officer Minatozaki Sana talking to an affiliate of our main suspect, Kim Mingyu. State your name and age.” Irene’s eyes widened and I sighed as I shook my head at her, cursing Sana in my head for turning up here.

“Oh Y/N, age 25.” I answered monotonously and when Sana gave Irene a glance, as if she was demanding her to leave us alone, Irene gave her a scowl.

“Fine,” Sana muttered to herself, “Where did you grow up and where do you live now?”

“I grew up in a town two hours from here and I live in Seoul now, officer.” I kept my voice leveled as Sana hummed, thankful that she wasn’t asking stupid questions.

“What do you do for a living now and any upper studies that you have?” Irene scoffed at the question but Sana and I ignored her.

“I work at a bookstore and I’m an engineering student.” I raised my eyebrows at Sana when she gave me a sour look, she probably knows Mingyu has an engineering degree too.

“How did you meet Kim Mingyu?” Finally, the questions she was dying to get to, no doubt.

“Through my best friend.”

“Names?” Sana raised her eyebrows and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“I don’t want to drag him into this.” Sana’s lips pulled in a thin line but she continued on like nothing happened.

“Do you know what Kim Mingyu does for a living, Miss Oh?” I smiled sweetly at Sana as I leaned closer to her phone.

“He has an engineering degree and is a business man now.” Sana hummed, lips pulling into a small smirk.

“What business, Miss Oh?”

“Do you not know, Officer Minatozaki? Do I have to tell you that myself too?” Sana threw me a glare as a chuckle left her lips.

“Of course not, I know it myself too. I just wanted to check if you knew.”

“Next question?” I raised my eyebrows at the blonde and she chuckled again. Mingyu never really told me about his fake business that covered up his illegal deeds, I didn’t actual know what he did, but I wasn’t about to get caught.

“What’s your relationship like with Kim Mingyu?” Her eyebrows twitched at her own question and a big smirked appeared on my lips as I looked her in the eyes smugly.

“I have to say it’s pretty good, officer, I’ve know him for over half a year, and we are dating.”

“Right, so, he’s your boyfriend?”

“He is.” I nodded with a smile, catching the amused look on Irene’s face as she watched our exchange.

“Did he by any chance…offer you some…really expensive goods?”

“None that I can think of, I don’t like gifts.” Sana gave me a glare as she licked her lips.

“Do you know a diamond ring was stolen from the auction we both attended?”

“I didn’t know,” I let fake surprise coat my face as I gave Irene a glance too, seeing her just as surprised even if she didn’t know what we were talking about, “I just went there to have a good time with my boyfriend. I reckon that’s what gave him a bad mood for a week…he bought the ring, but then it disappeared.”

“Exactly, it disappeared. A six-million-dollar worth ring…everyone would be pissed about, not Kim Mingyu, he didn’t have to give his money away in the end.” Sana’s jaw clenched and I offered her a small smile.

“Don’t you think he was pissed too? He wanted that ring after all.” Sana’s expression smoothened out and she sighed quietly, leaning against the counter.

“Did he ever bribe you to do anything for him? Threaten you maybe?”

“Never.” My voice was firm and Sana nodded slowly, lips pulling into a smirk.

“Have you slept with him yet, Y/N? You know…Mingyu can be very persuasive and if he got you into his bed already, I’m assuming he used you to your full capacity—” Sana and Irene both jumped as I slammed my hand down on Sana’s phone, stopping the recording.

“This questioning takes an end here, Sana.” My voice was low and threatening, eyes gazing into Sana’s.

“No, seriously, has he fucked you yet? I bet he hasn’t told you this, but before he even met Momo, I was his favorite thing in the world, Y/N—”

“You heard her, bitch, get out.” Irene snapped loudly, gripping Sana’s arm harshly. Sana just laughed loudly as I tried to remain calm and not lunge at her. If I get angrier than I already am, I’m giving her the satisfaction she wanted. And so, who cares if Sana and him were a thing? It happened a long time ago and Mingyu seems to be over her, I’m not threatened by her anymore. I won’t let her get under my skin anymore, not after I talked to Mingyu about her and the situation they were in. It’s her personality that makes me want to choke her.

Sana got the message that she had nothing to do here anymore as Irene still didn’t let go of her arm, her glare so scary I would’ve run off a long time ago. Sana took her bag and phone and gave me one satisfied smirk as she looked at Irene with superiority.

“Take your hands off, Miss Bae, you wouldn’t want a complaint for aggressing an officer, would you?” Irene opened her mouth to snap back at Sana, her chest raising and falling quickly because of her angered state, but I spoke up.

“I’m also sure you wouldn’t want me complaining to Mingyu about your little visit, right, Sana?” She looked at me and stepped back, ready to leave.

“Of course not, let’s keep it between us, girls.” Sana winked at me and Irene stepped towards her, but I leaned over the counter and gripped her shoulder to stop her. Sana looked satisfied with our reactions and turned her back to us, headed for the front door. As her hand touched the handle, I cleared my throat and she looked back.

“Oh, and…I’m sorry to hear Mingyu used you to your full capacity, Sana, he must have gained a lot quickly in the time you were together if he dumped you. I’ve heard he doesn’t like boring and easy women…” Sana’s expression changed just in a second and she was filled with rage as she took a step towards us, but Irene laughed and pointed at the door.

“Have a lovely day, Sana.” She spoke mockingly as Sana gave us a glare before storming out of the bookstore. The air remained stiff as Irene turned to look at me. I continued to stare at the place Sana stood at, taking a deep breath.

“What the fuck was that?” Irene snapped, eyebrows raised and hands on her waist like a scolding mother.

“Too long of a story…” I muttered as I picked up the blue wrapping, “Let’s get this done, Sana held us up for almost twenty minutes.”

“What a bitch.” Irene muttered under her breath and I snorted, sharing a look of amusement with her.

The rest of our day continued without Sana bothering us anymore, or anyone from SVT for that matter. Irene told me that Sana kept coming in almost daily, asking to speak to me when I wasn’t even there and would get pissed if Irene refused to give away my contacts. She said she couldn’t stand Sana, that something was definitely off, especially her reaction when Irene refused to tell her where I lived wasn’t very normal. She asked why the police was investigating Mingyu and I lied to her about him being under surveillance for money washing, which probably wasn’t a very big lie, Mingyu might be doing that. The bookstore was busy today and by five o’clock in the afternoon both Irene and I were ready to close up. We had ditched our name tags and Irene applied red lipstick to her lips while I washed my hands in the sink, grumbling about Jeonghan not visiting her today. I chuckled as I pulled on my coat, holding my purse as Irene got her stuff too and we headed to the front of the bookstore. We turned off all the lights and made sure all windows were shut before we left the bookstore to lock up. My eyes fell on the lean body of the man that was leaning against the brick wall around the curb, eyes on us. Jeonghan winked at me and I rolled my eyes, nudging Irene’s side when she was done locking the door.

“Someone’s here for you.” Her head whipped around and a smirk pulled onto her lips when she spotted Jeonghan.

“My efforts to look good today didn’t go to waste.” She exclaimed with a smile and quickly hugged me, taking off towards Jeonghan. I watched them with a shake of my head and Jeonghan smiled at Irene when she stopped in front of him. He hugged her tightly and then made eye contact with me, pointing towards the road which was to my right. I turned my head to look and Wonwoo’s familiar car greeted me, Wonwoo was leaning against his car.

“Good evening, Miss Oh, took you long to notice this fine man waiting for you.” I scoffed and shook my head, looking back at Jeonghan and Irene to wave at them. They called out their goodbyes to us before taking off, Jeonghan’s arm around Irene’s shoulder as she snuggled up into his side.

“Good evening, Mr. Jeon, I was busy watching my friend, my apologies.” I bowed my head deeply, making Wonwoo chuckle as he pushed off his car.

“Haven’t seen Jeonghan with someone in a long time.” He muttered as I approached him, smiling when he opened his arms.

“I haven’t seen you with anyone, Wonwoo…and I’ve known you for a while now.” I raised my eyebrows at him as I hugged the taller man, giggling when his fingers tickled my sides.

“I don’t have time for a serious relationship,” Wonwoo’s deep voice was loud in my ear and he sighed, pulling away, “And I don’t want to put anyone in danger. I’m better off on my own.”

“Are you though?” I raised my eyebrows at him and Wonwoo suddenly looked tired. He just shrugged and opened the backseat door for me.

“Let’s get going before Mingyu could complain to us.” I chuckled and got inside the car, shutting the door for myself as Wonwoo jogged to the driver’s seat. He got in and we both buckled up as he started the car, putting it into motion. I got comfortable against the leather seat of his car and played with the strap of my purse; lips pursed as I thought. Wonwoo wasn’t very talkative, only when he had something exciting to tell you and most of the time I enjoyed the silence when I was with him, but today I was feeling a bit uneasy and wanted a distraction. Sana’s words didn’t bother me, it was what Irene told me that left a sour aftertaste. Why was Sana so set to find out where I live and how she should contact me. I’m sure investigating Mingyu wouldn’t have involved me this much, after all, I answered her questions both times she asked me to.

“Why didn’t Mingyu pick me up?” I spoke up, seeing Wonwoo glance back in the rear-view mirror.

“He told me he’d be home before us, but he had to go to the Bank.” Wonwoo answered, changing lanes as he sped up the car.

“Why?” I asked with my eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t know, he didn’t tell me…” His voice got quiet and he gulped, “I’m not his second-in-hand, remember? I’m not supposed to know more than I’m supposed to know.”

I bit my lower lip and looked out the window awkwardly, remembering my words when they brought an injured Mingyu into my apartment a week ago, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I meant what I said. I trust Seungcheol, there’s a reason why Mingyu chose him for that role.”

“You’re right,” Wonwoo muttered with a nod of his head, “I overstepped some boundaries, I’m only Mingyu’s friend.”

“Thank you for taking care of him, I know he needs it.” I muttered with a sigh and Wonwoo chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. We grew silent as I continued playing with the strap of my purse, trying to decide if talking about Sana to Wonwoo was a good idea or not. Deciding asking him wouldn’t hurt, I spoke up again.

“Wonwoo, please don’t tell Mingyu this, but…Sana came in to question me with the pretext that it’s for the investigation…” Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed and I continued talking, “But then Irene told me she’s been coming to the bookstore almost daily and was asking for my contacts and where I lived.”

“We have to tell Mingyu.” Wonwoo’s voice grew hard and I shook my head, catching his eyes through the rear-view mirror.

“No, not yet…I don’t think it’s very important, it just freaked me out a little bit.” He sighed and his lips pulled in a thin line, nodding wordlessly.

“Did they seriously date? Sana said something like that…” Wonwoo scoffed as disgust coated his expression, the car pulled into the neighborhood these two lived in.

“Sana is a sick woman; I have no idea how she’s so high up in the police. She’s been pinning on Mingyu ever since Momo introduced them to each other—”

“Wait, what?” My eyes widened and I leaned forward, eager to hear more, “She said her and Mingyu met before he even knew Momo.”

Wonwoo laughed deeply, shaking his head, “She obviously lied, her and Momo were very close. Once Sana started making advances towards Mingyu and he told Momo about it, Momo flipped and cut ties with Sana. Years later she showed casually in her police uniform at Mingyu’s house and dumped a big folder in front of him, telling him that she knew everything about him and his illegal business.”

Wonwoo stopped in front of Mingyu’s mansion and clicked away on his phone before the gate opened, “Then she proceeded to disappear, Joshua and Jeonghan dug up some information about her and we found out she was lead investigator and started building a case against Mingyu with the pretext that he abused Momo—”

“Which she wasn’t very wrong about.” I interrupted as Wonwoo pulled into the driveway slowly.

“Yeah, she wasn’t, but—she would always come and go. Sometimes disappear for a long period of time and show up suddenly, sometimes for months or weeks or just days. We could never get rid of her, at first I thought she was doing this because Mingyu ruined her best friend. But then I figured it was because she was just obsessed with Mingyu, because he never gave her the attention she craved. She’s harmless if you ask me, but don’t provoke her. You never know what a person is capable of.”

I took a deep breath and let out a long sigh as Wonwoo parked the car inside the garage, undoing his seatbelt. I did so too and he turned the engine off, turning around to look at me, “As long as you’re with us nothing bad can happen to you. Sana is harmless, she’s just trying to scare you off. She’s curious and obsessed about finding out more about you because Joshua and Jeonghan made you look like a ghost, no one can find information about you now…just like the rest of SVT, understood?”

“Understood.” I muttered with a grimace and he chuckled.

“Go ahead, Mingyu’s in his office waiting for you.” I thanked Wonwoo quietly and got out of the car, heading for the door that led inside the house. I passed through the living room and stopped in the hallway, taking off my shoes and jacket, leaving my purse there too. I went up the marble stairs and once upstairs I headed for the door of his study. I pushed the door open but no one was inside, I glanced back at Mingyu’s bedroom door, but if Wonwoo said Mingyu was waiting here for me I should probably stay here, I stepped inside. Two windows were open and the fresh breeze of the evening left a homey feeling in the room, the smell of Mingyu’s cigarettes strong the further I walked inside. My eyes were drawn towards his big study desk and they fell on a simple velvet box. It was small and my heart started beating quickly without a reason. I approached the desk with slow steps, eyes not leaving the velvet box. This can’t be what I think it is…Mingyu wouldn’t—no, I’m probably just overreacting, why don’t I just wait until—

“Sugar,” The sudden voice behind me made me jump. Before I could face Mingyu, he was already behind me, his arms circled around my torso and his chin resting on my shoulder, “How are you?”

I cleared my throat and placed my hands on top of his, gripping them softly, “Glad that work is over, you?”

“Happy to be with you finally.” I chuckled, but my eyes fell on the box once again. Mingyu remained quiet and I gulped, waiting for him to say something. He’s not going to…propose…right? My heart started beating even faster and Mingyu chuckled, making me flinch.

“Why are your ears so red?” He asked amused and pressed a kiss behind my right ear, his hot breath fanning my skin. I cleared my throat and shrugged, moving my head back to be able to look at him.

“It’s probably the lightning.” Mingyu snorted before leaning down to press his soft lips against mine. There was a hint of coffee on his lips as I pressed mine against his, closing my eyes. Mingyu hummed before he pulled back, his lips pulling into a wide smile. My heart felt like it was about to explode as I looked at him, his cute canines showed.

“Why are you so flustered?” He asked with a laugh, leaning down to peck my lips again, “Your whole face is red, sugar.”

“Whatever.” I scoffed and shimmied myself out of his hold, crossing my arms in front of my chest as Mingyu narrowed his eyes at me.

“Well…” He said with a shrug and stepped closer to the desk, placing his hand on the velvet box. I bit my lower lip and looked at him nervously, hugging myself as if I was standing on eggshells, “This is for you, Y/N.”

My eyes fell on the velvet box and I gulped, “For me? Why…”

“Why?” Mingyu rolled his eyes and gripped my arm, detaching it from around my torso, “Because this was for you from the very beginning, I just needed things to cool off a little before I gave it to you.”

“What are you talking about?” My eyebrows furrowed as Mingyu pressed the velvet box into my palm and I detached my other arm from around myself too, gripping the box with both hands. It wasn’t heavy at all. Mingyu wasn’t on one knee, it meant he wasn’t proposing, so that’s good. My heart calmed down a bit and I took a deep breath, Mingyu watched me excited. I looked back at the velvet box and quickly opened it, jaw falling open. It was the diamond ring from the auction. The stone was in rose gold, the ring very simple, as the diamond had a teardrop shape and had a sparkle I haven’t seen before, even in the dim light of the room.

“This is the ring you stole…” I muttered as I continued watching it, unable to look away. I wasn’t into expensive things, but I would lie if I said I didn’t like this ring. It was so beautiful and simple, exactly my taste.

“Well…it was ours since we bought it…” Mingyu corrected me with a small smile, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leaned against the sofa behind him.

“You never paid for it…” I shot back at him and he chuckled as he nodded down at the ring.

“Put it on, sugar, it’s yours.” I was at a loss of words, not having expected a gift like this one, so I finally gripped the ring and pulled it out of the box. It had a decent weight for something so small and I carefully slipped it onto my left middle finger. I moved my hand slowly, watching the diamond glint as I felt Mingyu’s eyes on me.

“You like it.” His voice was confident and I chuckled as my eyes fell on him.

“I do like it, but I don’t think I should wear it—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Mingyu rolled his eyes, extending his arms to rest them on my waist, “It’s yours and you will wear it every day, okay?”

“What if I lose it—” Mingyu scoffed and pulled me into him.

“I’ll get you another you.” I huffed and placed my hands against his chest, his eyes fell on my left hand where the diamond ring was.

“I’ll just be careful not to lose this one, okay?” I raised my eyebrows at him and he smirked, looking back at me. He nodded his head and leaned in to kiss my forehead, making me sigh loudly. Sana slipped from my mind as I was in Mingyu’s comforting presence, what Wonwoo told me about her forgotten as I couldn’t stop looking at the ring. It looked good on my finger; I couldn’t lie.

Seungcheol kept on rambling about his failed exam as we walked down the stairs of our University. It was our last day before the spring break would begin and I couldn’t have been happier. We were getting closer and closer to our graduation; I couldn’t wait to be done with this horrible place. The weather was nice so I ditched my jacket and stuffed it inside my backpack before we left class. Seungcheol’s loud sigh made me look at him with raised eyebrows. He was giving me his usual scowl when he thought I wasn’t listening to him and I rolled my eyes, throwing my arm around his shoulders.

“Stop sulking, you’ll fix your grade in our last semester.” I told him with a smile and he rolled his eyes.

“I don’t have much choice…” He grumbled and I chuckled, shaking his shoulders to cheer him up, “If Mingyu would leave me alone when exams come around, it would be really helpful.”

I knew he was right so I nodded, patting his shoulder, “I’ll talk to him and ask him to leave you alone, okay?”

“Thank you, but there’s certain things he can’t do without me—”

“Why? Did he start listening to you again?” I raised my eyebrows and Seungcheol chuckled, grabbing my arm and taking it off his shoulder.

“Yeah, I heard you lashed out at him when he got injured.”

“Soonyoung told you, didn’t he?” I muttered with a sigh as Seungcheol hooked his arm with mine, “He just can’t shut up.”

“It was actually Wonwoo,” I looked at Seungcheol surprised and he started laughing, patting my hand with his free hand, “Wonwoo always tells me everything, did you not know?”

“How was I supposed to know?!” I exclaimed, eyes wide, as Seungcheol laughed again loudly, “Did he tell you stuff that…maybe you wouldn’t want to know?”

Seungcheol huffed and looked at me amused, his silver lip piercing was glinting, “Did you do anything I wouldn’t want to know about?”

“Uh—” I smiled at him sweetly and snuggled up into my friend’s side, “Definitely not!”

Seungcheol playfully rolled his eyes before they fell on the hand that I placed against his chest. I raised my eyebrows at him as we continued walking around the University, watching his eyebrows furrow.

“Mingyu gave you the diamond ring?” Seungcheol sounded confused and I tilted my head at him, glancing down at the ring on my middle finger.

“Was he not supposed to?” I asked quietly and Seungcheol cleared his throat as if he realized what he had said. He looked up at me and patted my cheek affectionately and shook his head cutely, trying to act as if he said nothing. I gave him a look but he refused to speak as he pulled me after him to cross the road. Students were coming and going and I looked around to make sure I wouldn’t walk into anyone as Seungcheol walked eagerly. Suddenly, my attention got caught by a blonde head in the crowd that was headed our way. A mask was covering their mouth and nose, but the person looked very familiar. Especially the bag they were carrying. My eyebrows furrowed as I kept staring at the woman who reminded me of Sana an awful lot and when Seungcheol stopped walking, I ran into him.

“What are you looking at?” He asked confused and I quickly pulled on his hair, not wanting him to see her. I knew if I told Seungcheol about Sana coming to the bookstore multiple times and even questioning me yesterday and now showing up here, he’d flip and cause a scene. I knew if I felt like something was wrong Seungcheol would sense it and take matters into his hands, but I didn’t want our good moods ruined.

“I thought I saw Joshua.” Was what I came up with instead and Seungcheol groaned, giving me a glare, “What? Am I not allowed to confuse people?”

“Why Joshua—”

“How are things going?” I raised my eyebrows and Seungcheol looked away with a frown, putting distance between us. I looked at him curiously and he shrugged as if he was embarrassed.

“I don’t have much to say, Joshua and Jeonghan are busier sometimes than the rest of the gang. He doesn’t have time to meet up with me very frequently.” I hummed and watched as Seungcheol buried his hands in his pants pockets.

“Why not be a good boyfriend and surprise him?”

“Boyfriend?!” Seungcheol’s eyes turned round and I started laughing as I watched his expression morph into shock, “Please, don’t say that! We aren’t even dating…it’s nothing serious between us, don’t say things like that!”

“Wow, calm down, Cheol…I was just asking, I’m your best friend.” I rolled my eyes and he gave me a grimace about to speak up but I cut him off before he could, “Back to my ring. Who was supposed to get it?”

Seungcheol just sighed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Initially no one, but then Mingyu thought manipulating Sana with it would be a good idea.”

Of course, here comes Sana again. Why is this woman suddenly all up in everyone’s business? I swear I can’t stand her.

“Why did she not get it then?”

“She’s not worthy of such ring, Mingyu said so. And he’s been really pissed off lately since she started another investigation against him.”

“What?” I raised my eyebrows, stepping closer to Seungcheol, “Why?”

“Y/N…Mingyu should tell you these things, not me…”

“Well, Mingyu never talks to me, so spill. Now.” I gave Seungcheol a glare and he bit his lower lip, taking his piercing between his teeth for a second before he sighed loudly and stepped even closer.

“One of Seungkwan’s warehouse full of weapons got raided not long ago, because basically Sana planted some false evidence inside and got a warrant to go inside and look. She’s hellbent on taking down Mingyu and that’s why he’s been spending so much time with her. He’s trying to play her, Y/N, manipulate her so that she drops the whole case—”

“Wait,” I raised a hand and took in a deep breath, “Is Mingyu sleeping with Sana to keep her quiet?”

Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed and he gave me a look, “Of course not, Y/N. He’s with you.”

“When did that ever stop someone from cheating on their significant other?” I snapped and Seungcheol snorted, fueling my anger. I kept telling myself I was over this after my conversation with Mingyu and that I didn’t give a shit about what Sana and Mingyu did together, but every time I learned a little more about their relationship, the more it angered me. I wanted Sana out of the picture, especially since she was creating problems for Mingyu.

“Mingyu isn’t like that and I’m not taking his side. You know I’m not his biggest fan, but when Mingyu commits to someone, he won’t fuck around with others…figures why getting Sana to give up is taking so long—ow!” Seungcheol exclaimed in pain as I punched his chest hard, giving him a hard glare.

“Why don’t you sleep with Sana?” I scoffed and Seungcheol gave me a very unamused chuckle.

“I’m currently trying to build a relationship with Joshua, that would complicate things.” I sighed quietly and Seungcheol rubbed his chest where I punched him.

“And Sana isn’t obsessed with you…” I muttered and Seungcheol looked at me with an apologetic smile, about to pull me into a hug when the horn of a car made us both jump. I looked behind Seungcheol as he turned around and we both glared at Mingyu as he gave us a very amused smirk.

“Ops, didn’t mean to scare you two.” He touched his lips with his hand in a childish way as he spoke to us through the rolled down window. Seungcheol and I scoffed at the same time and he turned to look at me.

“I guess you have a ride back home now.” He muttered and I chuckled as I quickly gave him a hug.

“Call me when your classes are over, we can have dinner together tonight, but I need to cook something.” Seungcheol hummed as he pulled back from the hug and went to open the door of the Mercedes for me.

“I might be busy tonight, but I’ll give you a call.”

“With Joshua?” I whispered as I got inside the car and Seungcheol sighed, shaking his head at me. I giggled and thanked him when he closed the door, waving at him as Seungcheol walked away waving back at me.

“My kiss?” Mingyu spoke up as Seungcheol and I continued waving at each other aggressively even though he was already on the other side of the road. I laughed and finally looked at Mingyu, tsking at him when he stopped me from waving anymore.

“What good did you do today to deserve this kiss?” I raised my eyebrows at Mingyu and he scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Didn’t know I needed to do anything to get a kiss from my girlfriend.”

“Nothing’s for free, Mingyu.” I shrugged and turned up the volume of the radio, shrugging my backpack off. Mingyu scoffed again, lips jutting out as he was giving me a small glare. I flashed him a smile and dumped my backpack in the backseat, groaning when Mingyu gripped the back of my head and leaned down. He licked his lips and gave me a cheeky smile before pressing his lips against mine. I kissed him back and rolled my eyes, pulling back when he tried moving his lips. His honey scent was strong, as if he put on his cologne right before I got in. Mingyu raised his eyebrows at me and went to kiss me again, but I pocked his left side, making him groan.

“Why did you do that, sugar?” He groaned and pushed away my hand from his wound.

“Wanted to see how your wound is healing.” I said with a shrug and he scoffed, looking back at me.

“So, you poke it to the point it might open up?” I laughed and leaned up to press a kiss against his lips.

“It’s been a week; it can’t open up…hopefully…” I giggled and Mingyu sighed, pressing a kiss against my forehead before he released me. He got comfortable in his seat and I rolled up the window on my side. He put on the signal that he was getting out of the parking spot and absentmindedly my hand went to grip his. I hummed along to the song playing on the radio and I could see Mingyu have a small smile on his lips from my peripheral vision.

“What did you do today?” I asked as Mingyu drove out into traffic. He glanced at me and the smile didn’t disappear from his lips, he rarely smiled, it brought butterflies to my stomach, he was almost always smirking.

“I slept in, because you said I should rest more. Then I had breakfast with Wonwoo and then I headed to the headquarters.” I chuckled and looked at him, raising my eyebrows at him.

“Will you tell me what happened that you’re so happy?” I squeezed his hand when he sped up instead of slowing down at the traffic light turning yellow.

“Consider our deal with the police almost done, I’m really close to getting all investigations stopped.” I hummed and watched Mingyu’s expression turn into a prideful smirk as he got proud of himself. I snickered and raised our hands to press a kiss against his knuckles, it brought a wide smile onto his lips again.

“Isn’t your boyfriend a genius?” He asked and glanced at me, swerving between the three lanes fast.

“Mhm, he is.” I muttered and Mingyu chuckled, his canines poking his lower lips.

“And he’s also really handsome, sexy, irresistible, fuckable—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” I scoffed and Mingyu hit the brakes, sending us a bit forward as the traffic light turned red before he could cross it, “How about from now on I drive, hm?”

“No.” He shook his head and pursed his lips, leaning his head against the headrest, “Admit it though…that I’m all the things I said a second ago.”

I snickered and leaned over the console, letting go of his hand to place it on his thigh. The muscle tensed up underneath my palm and Mingyu turned his head to look me in the eyes. I smirked at him and leaned close enough to brush my nose against his.

“You are…” I pursed my lips and Mingyu moved his head a little to press a very short kiss against my lips, barely touching, “Cute.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes, pushing me away by my head and it made me laugh loudly.

“I’m not cute.” He grumbled to himself as he started driving again, a few cars were already honking behind us.

“You are though…” I muttered with a giggle and he slapped my hand away from his thigh, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek; I knew he was frustrated. I reached my hand out for the button and turned the volume of the radio down, resting my arm on the middle console and my chin in my palm. I watched Mingyu quietly, smiling at him softly. He wore a white form fitting T-shirt and a red, long cardigan with a cream-colored pattern over it. You only ever saw Kim Mingyu wearing sweats inside his house, but today he ditched his dress pants and wore silky and comfortable looking cream-colored pants. His hair was down, fanning his forehead, his undercut was slowly growing out.

“You’re staring.” He muttered, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, as he turned the steering wheel, turning onto a different street.

“Am I not allowed to?” I muttered back and he nodded, lips jutting out again.

“Of course, yes, especially if you’re staring at me. But something’s bothering you now, so shoot.” I sighed and looked down at the middle console, tracing my fingers against the hard fabric.

“I’m pretty sure I saw Sana today at the University…” I spoke up with a hint of anger in my voice and Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed, “And she came to the bookstore yesterday to question me. Irene said she kept coming around and wanting to speak to me even before.”

Mingyu hummed and drove slowly as there was a slight traffic jam, “She told me she had to question you because you’re my girlfriend, don’t worry about her, sugar. Sana is harmless, she wouldn’t dare touch you.”

I shrugged and sat back in my seat, looking out the window, “I don’t know…I don’t like her much. Irene doesn’t either, that says a lot, she usually likes most people. And Wonwoo and Vernon…the list goes on, even Seokmin hates her.”

“She’s got a difficult personality, but, like I said—I’m almost done with the police, so that demands a celebration!” Mingyu exclaimed, looking at me as he came to a stop in front of my apartment building. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity, deciding to ignore how quickly he brushed off the topic with Sana.

“What do you have in mind?”

“I’m sailing out tomorrow with the boys for a day—”

“Sailing out?” I interrupted Mingyu quietly, eyebrows furrowing.

“Yeah, I have a yacht.” Mingyu said with a shrug and I scoffed, undoing my seatbelt.

“Of course, you have a yacht.” I grumbled to myself and Mingyu chuckled, leaning closer to me.

“I had in mind that you join us.” I smiled at him and almost closed the gap between us.

“That sounds awesome.” His eyes widened and I chuckled, pressing a kiss against his cheek before I grabbed my backpack from the backseat.

“Wait—you’re not going to argue with me about it? You’re just—coming? Without me having to pester you until you have no choice but to say yes?”

I started laughing as I opened my door, looking at Mingyu amused, “My boss is going away for some conference, University is over for two weeks since I have spring break, I don’t see why I wouldn’t want to join you guys.”

“Huh,” Mingyu huffed and rubbed his chin with a teasing glint in his eyes, “I feel like someone is getting soft.”

“You’ve got the wrong feel then!” I flipped him off before closing the door of the Mercedes and Mingyu started laughing. I raised my eyebrows at him and wiggled my fingers at him before I turned around and started walking towards the entrance of the building.

“You should wear those jeans more! It brings out the roundness of your ass!” A few people glanced my way who were passing by when Mingyu yelled out of his car. I rolled my eyes and continued walking, ignoring his words. He drove away as I went to type in the passcode and I sighed, running through the outfit ideas I had in mind for tomorrow.

In the end, after looking at the weather forecast, I settled on wearing a white crop top and a muddy green dungaree over it. I packed a thicker jacket in my backpack and braided my hair in two, wanting it out of my face for the day. By the time I was ready, Seungcheol was knocking on my front door, looking tired. We didn’t end up having dinner together, I don’t even know at what hour he returned, but the bags underneath his eyes were a good indication that he didn’t get much sleep. He passed me some of his breakfast he had cooked and then we were off together, headed for the docks, where Mingyu’s yacht apparently was. Seungcheol wasn’t very talkative as he drove down the streets and I remained silent, humming quietly to the songs played on the radio. Once we got the docks, I spotted Mingyu and Wonwoo’s familiar cars as Seungcheol had to park around the corner as there was no space on that street anymore. When we got out, the salty air and smell of freshly caught fish hit my nostrils hard and Seungcheol had a grimace on his face as we got our backpacks and walked towards the docked smaller ships and yachts. There was music coming from the last one and I knew it was Mingyu’s, the yacht was huge. And Seokmin and Seungkwan were shouting at each other, so that gave it away too. Seungcheol quietly greeted the few fisherman that were by their boats and I followed suit, bowing at them politely, as they seemed happy to see Seungcheol there. Maybe he comes here often, he never said anything about it to me. When we got to the yacht, the little board was still lowered and Vernon’s eyes lit up when he spotted us. The yacht had three levels and it was long and spacious. I thanked Vernon when he helped me onto the yacht and took Seungcheol’s backpack as he followed suit, raising the board that created a little gate between the concrete and the yacht, apparently everyone was here. Seungcheol closed the small door and placed the board by it, taking his and my backpacks as well.

“I’ll put these in my room, if you need something, you can get it from there later—”

“Mingyu asked me to take Y/N’s stuff to his room.” Vernon interrupted Seungcheol and rubbed the back of his nape awkwardly as he looked between me and Cheol. I chuckled and took my backpack back from Seungcheol.

“Go on then, Vernon will take me there?” I asked, raising my eyebrows at Vernon.

“Sure.” He said with a grin and took off, I followed closely behind. We went to the back of the yacht, Seungcheol was hot on our tails, and I was surprised that there were stairs leading even downstairs. We entered the inside of the yacht and it was an open space, resembled a living room. I was confused when Seungcheol walked downstairs but Vernon took us upstairs.

He noticed my expression and chuckled, ��There’s more space underneath the deck, so we usually take up those rooms.”

“How many of you sleep down there?” I asked curiously as we got up to the second floor and Vernon stopped to think for a second.

“There’s five rooms so…nine people can sleep there.” My mouth fell a bit open and Vernon chuckled at me as he led me towards a room that stood separately. The hallway on this floor was smaller and to your left there were three doors, leading to three different rooms. And then there was the room Vernon was leading me to, which seemed to be the biggest since there were no more doors on its side.

“Is this like the master bedroom or something?” I asked quietly as Vernon knocked on the door, but no one answered.

“Yeah, but we have another one downstairs too. Not as big as this one, but it’s fairly larger than the other regular bedrooms.” Vernon slid the door open and I was taken aback by the space in the room. I didn’t think there’d be this much space on a yacht. I’ve never even been on a yacht before.

“Wow, this is huge.” I muttered and Vernon shrugged, looking around.

“No one really sleeps in here unless they are very drunk and need to be left alone.” Vernon explained and I scoffed, turning to look at him.

“I hope I won’t have to share the bed with a third person, Mingyu already takes up all the space.” I said with a grimace and Vernon laughed, walking back to the sliding door.

“So, you’ve slept together already?” He had a teasing glint in his eyes and I threw him a glare and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “Yeah, yeah…not my business. Mingyu is upstairs in the captains room, you can head up if you want to.”

I nodded wordlessly and Vernon left, leaving the door open. I looked around the room again and walked up to the big windows, admiring the view from here. This room even had a mini balcony with two chairs and a little round table between them, I figured I could drink coffee tomorrow morning there while watching the sunrise. The bed was placed in the middle of the room, pressed up against the big windows so that wherever you turned your head, you’d be able to see the sea. There were four six drawer chests, two to the left and two to the right as you entered the room. A small bookcase which was more for decoration and a human sized mirror sat leaning against the wall. There were a few plants inside the room and I took my backpack and placed it on top of one of the chests, not finding it necessary to unpack. We’d be headed home tomorrow in the morning, I never really liked packing so I saved myself from having to do it again tomorrow. The sudden hum of the engine caught my attention and I walked to the windows again, peeking outside. Small ruffles of water came from underneath the yacht and slowly but surely, we took off. A sudden excitement I wasn’t feeling until now enveloped me and I smiled to myself, finding the butterflies in my stomach amusing.

“Someone’s excited.” I jumped and turned towards the door, clearing my throat, “Mingyu didn’t tell us you were coming.”

The excitement I felt subsided due to Seungkwan’s hostile tone and the scowl he had on his lips, “Last time I checked, Mingyu didn’t have to tell you anything about what he was doing or not.”

“Abusing the power your boyfriend has, aren’t you?” I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, Seungkwan smirked at my reaction.

“How is this abusing of his power? It’s his yacht, he brings whoever he wants on it.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes and stepped away from the doorway.

“It’s our yacht, actually, but whatever. The walls aren’t as thick as they seem, so don’t do anything funky. I’m across from you and I would like to sleep tonight.” He said sassily, pointing his forefinger at me accusingly. I rolled my eyes and took off, coming to the door.

“Go to bed before we do then.” I snapped back at Seungkwan and he scoffed, making room for me as I exited the master bedroom. I slid the door closed behind me and pushed past Seungkwan, he scoffed again. I went to the short staircase that led upstairs, onto the third level, and Seungkwan headed to the one that led downstairs. We shared a look of disgust before both of us stormed our ways, my footsteps loud as I stomped up the stairs. This was just a little cabin for the one who operated the yacht and I found Mingyu sitting on a white chair, his hands on a round wheel. There were different lights turned on on the control panel in front of him and I neared him, looking at the big table curiously.

“Sugar,” Mingyu called out and I looked down at him as he smirked at me, “What do you think?”

“It’s bigger than I expected it to be…” I muttered as I looked ahead, we were getting further away from the docks.

“Have you ever been on a yacht before?” Mingyu asked wonderingly and I scoffed as his arm sneaked around my waist.

“Of course not, you know my parents now, you saw we aren’t rich.” Mingyu hummed and pressed some buttons that I had no idea what were supposed to do and suddenly he pulled a lever and the yacht took a slower speed.

“Money isn’t everything if you aren’t happy and fulfilled.” Mingyu whispered under his breath and I looked at him, biting my lower lip. I really wanted him to share his childhood with me, I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to understand him and learn how to treat him right. I was afraid he wasn’t opening up because he didn’t trust me or worse…was only playing with me. He suddenly grabbed a walkie-talkie and pressed a button, static coming over.

“Grab the anchor, we are stopping here.” He talked into it and I glanced around, being able to make out the outlines of the city still. We didn’t go very far, as he said we wouldn’t, maybe a good thirteen minutes away? I wasn’t looking at the time.

“Copy!” Came an enthusiastic voice over the walkie-talkie, I realized it was Chan, and Mingyu chuckled as he shut it off. He looked up at me and turned his chair around, making me stand between his legs. I let my arms rest around his shoulders as he pulled me into himself by my waist, hugging onto my torso tightly. I ran my fingers through his silky hair softly, letting him burry his head in my stomach. Suddenly, he sighed and my eyebrows furrowed. I assumed he was just tired, maybe Seungcheol was with him and they both stayed up until late, but something rather was on his mind that was bothering him.

“What’s the matter?” I asked quietly, massaging his scalp in the process of playing with his hair. I knew it relaxed him, he really liked it.

“A new gang joined us, but I’m unsure if it was a good decision.” Mingyu mumbled and I hummed, “There’s a lot of members and they are all young, I don’t want them to cause problems for us. But one of them is Sana’s right hand man…I really needed them on my side, you know, sugar?”

“You do what you have to do; don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet and might not even happen.” I said quietly and he chuckled, nuzzling his face against my stomach.

“I’m a Mafia leader now, I have to think of everything, Y/N, even of things that won’t happen.”

“Well then just be yourself with them. People who don’t know you are scared of you…even your own members have a certain restraint when it comes to you. Show them they can’t mess with you, don’t allow them to make mistakes.” Mingyu chuckled and pulled back, my fingers stilled in his hair.

“You sound like you have experience in this field.”

“No, I’m just observant and smart, Mingyu.” I said with a chuckle and he smirked, standing up. I looked up in his eyes and he just grinned before walking us backwards until my back was pressed against the window. I raised my eyebrows at him and he turned my head to the right with his fingers, leaning in.

“Sometimes you can see dolphins, if you’re lucky you might see some too.” He muttered quietly in my ear and my eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s not true, I haven’t heard of dolphins habituating this sea.” Mingyu chuckled and kissed my cheek.

“You don’t believe someone who’s been sailing out here for years? Seungkwan took photos one time, ask him to show you.” I rolled my eyes and turned my head to look at Mingyu.

“Seungkwan and I aren’t on good terms, I’d rather not talk to him at all if I could.” Mingyu chuckled and caressed my cheeks.

“Not everyone can like you.” I rolled my eyes and leaned in to kiss him, pulling back before he could deepen the kiss. Mingyu smirked but his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and I raised mine at him, silently asking what was wrong.

“Last week, you found out I was an engineering student and that I’m an orphan.” I gulped and nodded, searching for Mingyu’s gaze, “Well, I actually know who my mother is. She couldn’t raise me or my sister so she gave us up to an orphanage. She left right after she gave birth to my sister, I don’t have many memories of her at that time because I was too little.”

I knew Mingyu hated being pitied so I tried to remain with a neutral expression as we maintained eye contact, my heartbeat quickened just a little, “You hear all sorts of bad stuff about orphanages and meanwhile some are wrong, most are true. I remember taking a lot of care of my sister, never letting anyone besides the nurses close to her. I made sure she was fed and cared about, I even played with her when they’d allow me. But when she was around one year old, a family came and took her away. I was devastated for a long time, until I realized she was better off at that family. Boys and even some girls started picking on me as I started growing older and I realized my little sister was in a loving family, protected from the evils I had to go through, but I wasn’t too mad about it. I always envied her for being chosen, but I still loved her very much. I still do, she’s grown into a powerful woman, sometimes you remind me of her.”

“You remained in touch with her?” I found my voice, it was quiet, but I was curious how he maintained keeping tabs on her sister.

“The family felt bad for separating us, so they let me visit her weekly. I hoped they’d grow fond of me and adopt me as well, but they only wanted a daughter. And then maybe I was around eight years old, when my mother showed up and took me back home. She suddenly had money and a stable job, it looked like she fixed her life. I don’t know how she got me back, but maybe I would’ve been better off at the orphanage. She wasn’t a very nice person and the men she had around her were definitely not good people. I got involved into street gangs when I was just nine, Y/N. Out of curiosity, boredom and dumbness, I guess. My mother didn’t care about me and my sister belonged somewhere, so I wanted to feel what she felt. I thought joining that gang was the right choice, but it obviously wasn’t…that’s why I am here today.” A small smile, a sad and tired one, appeared on his lips and I sighed quietly, rubbing his cheek lovingly with my thumb.

“I shortly after that met Wonwoo, then Vernon and Seungkwan. The others came along slowly, it wasn’t until I got into a fist fight and killed someone that people started getting interested in me. Other gangs wanted to recruit me and when I turned fifteen I realized that if I was so important that everyone wanted me, then why wouldn’t I create something that was only mine? If I alone were a weapon, why not use it to my advantage? Wonwoo and I started recruiting people and that’s when Junhui and Minghao joined us; I’m still sure they didn’t one-hundred percent understand what we were proposing to them but they went along, because everyone thought of them as bad boys. Vernon and Seungkwan followed us without questions, Seungkwan owed it to me, he had sworn to stay by my side no matter what after the generous money I started to give him to fix his own mistakes, and Vernon never does anything without Seungkwan. Seungcheol and Chan joined us at the same time and I realized I needed someone to help me out, so after a year of testing Seungcheol, I finally decided it would be him. The others came along quickly after, willingly or recruited by one of us. I didn’t have an easy childhood, I worked hard and did bad things to get to where I am right now, I refuse to let someone as stupid as Sana ruin everything I have. We’ve expanded so much that other gangs belong to us now, I’m their boss. People fear me and respect me. I have you now too…my life is finally coming together, so I’m holding on tightly to everything I can.” Mingyu’s jaw clenched as he studied my face, but all I could do was smile at him. He wasn’t the best person, but he did everything he had to do with a reason. I didn’t always do the right things either, I wasn’t about to judge him for them. Not when he finally opened up and told me so much about himself. I was happy that he trusted me with the information and I just kept smiling, confusing Mingyu a bit.

“So, like…you’re cool with the things I just told you?” I chuckled and pressed a kiss against his lips, grinning at him. He looked lost and it was so cute.

“Everyone has their own story and I’ve been waiting patiently to hear yours. I’m fine with what you told me, if you’re scared I’ll run away now, I won’t…besides, I think you’d find me even if I did.” Mingyu chuckled and nodded.

“I’d find you under five seconds, so don’t try doing that.” I chuckled and nodded in acknowledgment.

“What about your sister though? You still keep in touch?” I asked curiously, wanting to know more about her. Maybe even meet her.

“Of course, but she moved away two years ago and only visits during Christmas and New Year.”

“Can I meet her this year?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingyu smirked, leaning closer.

“Of course, she’ll be your sister-in-law, I think it’s only right you get to know each other.” I rolled my eyes as he pressed a kiss against my lips.

“Wait until I graduate at least.”

“Your mother told me weddings are best during the summer, maybe we should—”

“Stop!” I gave Mingyu a glare, pushing him back a bit, “We aren’t even engaged and stop talking about stuff like that with my mother, it’s embarrassing! Just delete her number! Block it!”

Mingyu laughed and stepped away fully, our arms detached from each other, “And miss all the baby pictures she sends me? Can’t do that sugar…”

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed embarrassed and Mingyu chuckled, headed for the stairs.

“Let’s go downstairs, see what we can do.” I huffed to myself and tried to hide the blush on my cheeks but the wide smirk on Mingyu’s lips was a tale tell sign he saw it.

We spent the day preparing food and sharing stories. Some of the guys started drinking right away as the yacht stopped and by lunch they had to be taken care of, so we cut them off the alcohol until they recovered a little bit. I didn’t find drinking on a yacht very smart or safe, and when Seokmin really happily told me they’ve been doing it for ages and only three times did someone fall into the water and almost drown, I made sure to take away the beer he was holding onto so tightly. Minghao, Mingyu, Seungcheol and Joshua were the chefs of the day and I was hanging out with Chan and Jun as we played music. Wonwoo had disappeared as everyone started doing something and Chan said that he was either reading or sleeping in his room, so I decided not to bother him. Vernon and Seungkwan were laying on some towels on the deck’s front balcony, wearing swimming trunks and conversing quietly. I didn’t find the weather warm enough to be tanning, but if they weren’t cold I wasn’t about to interrupt their fun time. Soonyoung, Jihoon and Seokmin were the ones that needed to be taken away from the alcohol as they had a head start early in the day. Jihoon ended up sleeping on the couch in the open living room, meanwhile Soonyoung and Seokmin kept coming and going from the kitchen, saying they’d help anyone who wanted their help. Jeonghan wasn’t very talkative this time and he said he’d be in the captain’s room if anyone was looking for him, he said he’d take a nap up there after he made sure everything was fine with the yacht. The day was entertaining and relaxing, I found myself laughing almost all the time as someone was always doing or saying something funny. I have hung out with the boys as a whole before, but at the headquarters they seemed to be on high alert and tense all the time. The first time I saw them being this carefree and happy was when Seungcheol introduced me to everyone officially. I was grateful for Mingyu’s invitation, I really needed to relax a little bit. Lately too many things were on my mind and as if university wasn’t stressful enough, Sana lurking around us constantly was really off putting. I tried to act mature after the talk Mingyu and I had about her, and after even Seungcheol reassured me, but it was a bit weird how uncaring Mingyu acted when I brought her up. Maybe it was because he didn’t want me to flip on him again, or maybe he wasn’t telling me about something. As long as he didn’t do anything that would directly hurt me, it was fine with me.

The day went by quickly, since when someone is feeling really good time seems to be flying, and we found ourselves gathered at the table inside. The sun was gone and the weather turned cool as we shut all doors of the yacht to stop the cold from coming inside. Someone turned on the heating and as we put all the food the boys cooked for lunch and some for dinner, I appreciated the warm breeze inside as it warmed my cold arms up. I was too lazy to get my jacket and not tipsy enough to feel hot like Jeonghan, Seokmin and Soonyoung were feeling. I sat in a random chair at the table as Vernon placed some wine in front of me with a wink. I grinned up at him and took a sip from the glass, humming appreciatively.

“See? A friend never forgets.” He said with a wink and I patted the chair next to me, asking him to sit there. He gladly took the seat and slowly everyone gathered at the table. It was loud as I placed some food on my plate, my chopsticks getting stopped by someone else’s. When I looked up I came face to face with Wonwoo’s mischievous grin as he stole the piece of meat I wanted and I scoffed, taking another one.

“So childish…” I said with a grimace and he raised his eyebrows at me mockingly, even though I’m sure he couldn’t hear me as he was sitting across from me. Chan was sitting to my right and my eyes widened in horror when I saw him trying to pour beer in my wine glass.

“Yah, Chan!” I exclaimed and gripped his wrist before he could tilt the beer bottle and his eyes widened.

“Yes?” He asked confused and I sighed, lowering his wrist carefully to place the beer bottle back on the table.

“I have wine in that glass dude…” I told him with an exasperated huff and Chan chuckle, his ears turning red.

“Oh, sorry…I thought it was my glass.” I shook my head at him and he abandoned trying to find his glass as he drank out of the bottle. I started eating and groaned at the explosion of different ingredients once I bit into the meat. I wasn’t a big fan of it, but the condiments on this one were amazing. It tasted perfect.

“Tasty, right?” Minghao asked with a grin, he was sitting between Chan and Seokmin, as he looked at me proudly.

“Very tasty!” I exclaimed and he chuckled, biting into his own meat. Someone made a mix of rice with different vegetables, like: corn, pepper, peas, carrots; and that one was amazing too. As I reached for the salad that was in front of me, a plate from Wonwoo was passed to me. Food from each dish was on it and I looked at him surprised, taking it reluctantly.

“From Mingyu.” He said and nodded his head towards his left where Mingyu was sandwiched between Jun and Jihoon. I gave Mingyu a smile and he raised his glass in salute before downing his drink. Seungkwan, of course, had to scoff when he saw Wonwoo passing me the plate and Vernon elbowed him, dumping the noodles he didn’t like on Seungkwan’s plate.

“Can’t you let her live for a second?” I heard Vernon scold Seungkwan as he continued glaring at me. I chuckled and tapped Vernon’s thigh to let him know that it was fine and he really didn’t bother me, to be honest, I was used to Seungkwan already. Most of the time I ignored him, I would even forget sometimes that he was with us. I took another big bite of the food and happily munched on it, everything tasted so good, I’d have to learn some tricks from the guys who cooked today. Realizing I couldn’t eat all the food that was given to me by Mingyu, I looked around the table, trying to find Seungcheol. He was sitting close to the end of the table, to my left and across from me, and I almost started laughing when I saw his arm hooked with Joshua’s. The two were eating quietly with their free hands, sometimes muttering to each other, but other then that they weren’t paying attention to the people around them.

“Cheol!” I called out loudly to get his attention and his head whipped up, looking at me questioningly. I almost started laughing when I saw the red tint of his cheeks and how his eyes darted between me and the few other guys looking at them. Jeonghan started giggling and pointed a finger at Joshua and Seungcheol, but he said nothing as he looked at me and winked before going back to eating. I chuckled to myself as I grabbed the plate Mingyu gave me, I had already placed what I wanted from it on my own plate.

“What?!” Seungcheol snapped and Joshua gave him a look before smiling at me warmly. I giggled as I stretched my arm out, asking Vernon to pass it on to them.

“No need to be so hostile, Cheol, just wanted to feed you some more food.” I said with a shrug and he shook his head, taking the plate from Seungkwan, who stole two broccolis off the plate.

“Thank you.” Seungcheol flashed me a smile and I huffed, taking my glass to sip from my wine. Chan took it as his cue to grab his own bottle of beer and clink it against my own glass with too much force. He giggled when I gave him a warning look to stop, and he just leaned his head on my shoulder. I sighed and drank my wine, eyes falling on Mingyu. He was eating rapidly, as if he hasn’t eaten yet today, nodding to everything Jun was saying to him. Wonwoo was listening to their conversation too as he said a few words here and there, and as if Mingyu sensed my gaze, he looked up. I offered him a small smile and he winked at me, turning his head back towards Jun as the later started getting louder and louder while telling his story.

After everyone had eaten enough we gathered the little leftovers and placed them inside the fridge as the guys decided to play some drinking games. The music playing was louder than earlier in the day and Chan and Wonwoo were happily singing into a microphone. I played two drinking games with the eight guys who decided to have some more fun, but decided that I was too tired to stay with them anymore. I had brought a book with me and I didn’t get to read yet today, so I decided to wish everyone a good night and retreat to the master bedroom. It wasn’t early in the evening at all, yet Jeonghan and Soonyoung called me a party popper and a grandma. I just laughed before heading up the stairs, bumping into Seungkwan as he just left the bathroom.

“I hope you didn’t puke in there.” I muttered and Seungkwan scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His eyes didn’t sit right, and his lips were pushed in a pout.

“I’m drunk, not stupid.” Seungkwan slurred and I chuckled, walking around him.

“You’re actually both.”

“Oh Y/N!” He exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing as he pointed a finger at me, “Don’t disrespect me!”

“Treat me like a decent human being then.” I snapped back at Seungkwan and he scoffed, roughly rubbing his face with his hands.

“Do you like Vernon?” Seungkwan’s eyes were narrowed into slits and I started laughing, leaning against the sliding doors of the bedroom.

“Sure, and I’m also dating Mingyu. And behind their backs I’m actually having an affair with Wonwoo and actually! Seungcheol and I got married two years ago; bet Joshua and Jeonghan couldn’t find that information about us!” I knew the alcohol in my system was making me meaner and I wasn’t even tipsy, I could hold my liquor well.

Seungkwan scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I just don’t want my friend to suffer because of a stupid girl—”

“Alright, if you’re here to insult me, suit yourself, Seungkwan. I have nothing against you, but maybe you should stop being a stuck-up whiney bitch—”

“A bitch?!” Seungkwan’s voice raised volumes and I smirked, “You’re one to talk! When you’re a gold digger, you just want Mingyu’s money—”

“I’m a what?!” I exclaimed, feeling my anger suddenly burst through me.

“You heard me! I told him you were nasty. I bet you’re the one who ratted us out to the police—” Before Seungkwan could sputter more gibberish, I lunged at him, totally disregarding my actions. Whenever I drunk even a little bit, I was ready to fight anyone. Seungkwan just so happened to pull the wrong strings tonight and as I gripped onto his blonde hair, which actually had a nice texture, a loud cry left his lips. I didn’t care who I was attacking, I was seeing red as I felt offended by his words.

“I’m the gold digger when I’ve been doing everything to ignore and avoid Mingyu?!” I screamed as I tugged on his hair and Seungkwan cried out again, gripping my wrists with his hands. I was sure no one would hear the commotion upstairs as the music was playing really loudly due to the boys wanting to have a party.

“You figured out Mingyu’s weakness!” Seungkwan exclaimed and suddenly I felt fingers around one of my braids, “He always loved a little push and play game, it was part of your plan all along!”

I exclaimed when he tugged on the braid, my scalp itched from the force, but it only fueled my anger. I fisted his hair and went to tug on it, but Seungkwan did something with his legs and I was on my back on the floor, pain shooting up through my spine.

“What the fuck?!” I exclaimed, eyes wide, as I looked up at Seungkwan who was straddling me. Our hands were finally not tugging on each other’s hair anymore, but Seungkwan looked angry that I attacked him.

“We are mafias now! Let me show you what we do to people who play with us.” That sinister smirk I always hated suddenly slipped onto his lips and I started kicking the floor with my legs, blocking his arms from reaching for my neck.

“Are you bowling up there—holy shit! Mingyu, Vernon, Jihoon! Come here!” I heard someone shouting from the stairs as I punched Seungkwan’s chest hard, knocking the air out from his lungs. His eyes widened and I took it as the opportunity to latch onto his hair again and try to push him off. I heard loud thuds over the music and suddenly I saw two people leaning over Seungkwan. I didn’t focus on them, I tugged harder on Seungkwan’s hair, making him scream out in pain.

“Let go of me! I’m going to kill this bitch!” Seungkwan screamed as his arms were being held back, so that he couldn’t reach me. I felt hands on top of mine, trying to pry them out of Seungkwan’s hair. He cried out again and trashed a bit around in pain.

“Sugar, let go of his hair.” I heard Mingyu’s voice shout over the loud music coming from downstairs, but my eyebrows furrowed and I refused to do what he told me. Someone nudged my legs and I hissed, thinking it was Seungkwan, and tugged harder.

“Yah!” By this time, I knew even more of the guys were watching us, I could hear laughter coming from the stairs, “Let go of me Oh Y/N!”

“You want me to let go now, huh?!” I screamed and Seungkwan whined, his lips turning down as he looked me in the eyes.

“I’m sorry, okay?! Just stop!”

“Sorry about what?!” I raised my eyebrows at a despaired Seungkwan, enjoying the pain on his face.

“That I called you a bitch and gold digger and—”

“What is—Boo Seungkwan!” Seungcheol’s voice topped everyone’s as someone gripped my elbows, the hands from my own disappearing.

“Get off her right now!” Seungcheol hollered and I felt the grip on my elbows tighten.

“Let go, sugar, right now.” Mingyu’s stern voice sent shivers down my spine and I finally looked up, making eye contact with my boyfriend. He was glaring hard and I very reluctantly released the hold I had on Seungkwan’s locks. In a second, Seungkwan was hauled off me and I was tugged up like I was a rag doll. Mingyu looked pissed as he looked at Seungkwan with a glare, before directing it at me.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” It was Seungcheol who exclaimed, pointing his finger at me and then at Seungkwan, “Don’t you know better?!”

He slapped Seungkwan’s cheek, not hard at all, just in warning as he looked at Vernon and Jihoon, “Take him downstairs, Joshua and I are switching rooms with him and Soonyoung.”

“You better go to sleep Seungkwan and stay away from Y/N, or I swear to God—” Mingyu’s jaw was clenched as he held onto me, pulling me slightly behind him. Seungkwan looked embarrassed and angry as he looked at his two bosses, lowering his head.

“Whatever.” He muttered before shrugging Jihoon and Vernon’s hands off him, turning to go to the stairs. The other guys were standing on the stairs, watching us with amused faces. Soonyoung and Seokmin even had their phones in their hands, which they quickly put away when Seungkwan saw them.

“Wait,” I called out with a huff, rubbing my forehead as I forced the next words out of myself, “I’m sorry too. For calling you stupid and a bitch.”

Very loud giggling followed my words and Jun gave Seungkwan a pat as he threw me a look, “Whatever.”

I scoffed and tried stepping towards him, but Mingyu held me back, “We’re going to sleep, now.”

“I’m not—” Mingyu didn’t let me talk as he opened the sliding doors and pushed me inside. I huffed and turned to glare at him, trying to head outside, but he slid the door shut.

“Go back to your business!” Mingyu called through the door, as he locked it, and I could hear the loud footsteps of the others as they descended the stairs quickly. I continued to glare at Mingyu as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Seriously?” He raised his eyebrows at me and I looked away, “I thought you were smarter than that, sugar.”

“He called me a gold digger!” I exclaimed, angry again, “And said I’m playing with you! That I went to the police and ratted you out!”

“But you know those aren’t true, why did you bother engaging in something with Seungkwan? You know he’s childish—”

“He hurt my pride.” I snapped, giving Mingyu another glare as he shook his head with a tired sigh, “I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you, Mingyu. I can take a few hurtful words once in a while but not when they are constantly aimed at me. I told you months ago that I wanted nothing to do with you—”

“Shut up!” Mingyu snapped, marching up to me, “I’m not doing this. I don’t want you to remind me again that everything happens because of me. You could have said no—”

“Oh my God!” I threw my hands up, giving Mingyu an incredulous look, “Do you even hear yourself right now? Said no? How many times did I say no, you asshole?!”

“Don’t call me an asshole.” He muttered lowly as he gripped the back of my head, pulling me in close. I glared at him and tried to take deep breaths to calm my erratic heart and stupid mind. Why was I even fighting with Mingyu? He didn’t do anything.

“I’m fed up with people constantly judging me for being with you.” I muttered and sighed, looking away from Mingyu.

“And I’m fed up with you constantly blaming everything on me, okay? You knew what you were getting into, stop whining about it all the time.” I gave Mingyu a look and he just glared back. He wasn’t wrong, but it was always easier to blame someone else. And in this case, I had a right to blame him, he really did cause many of the things I accuse him of. I took in his features as Mingyu held me in place, his eyebrows were furrowed and his lips in a tight line. I raised my hand and softly pressed my fingers on the skin between his eyebrows. His features instantly softened and Mingyu sighed, his firm grip turning tender on the back of my head.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered and offered him a small smile, closing the gap between our bodies as I leaned into Mingyu.

“I’m sorry too.” Mingyu sighed and sneaked his arms around my torso as I let my hands rest around his shoulders. The music was thumping loudly from downstairs and we could hear the cheers of the boys as they were probably playing some game. Someone was badly singing into the microphone and I would have smiled if Mingyu wouldn’t have leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips pressed against mine and I closed my eyes, melting into his touch. I felt warm in his arms and Mingyu’s lips moved slowly against mine, taking his time. I let my hands run through his hair, softly tugging on it, like I knew he liked it, and Mingyu moaned quietly, opening his mouth a little. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and Mingyu’s kiss turned hungry, our lips clashing together furiously. His lips tasted like smoke and the alcohol he’s been drinking all night long; he was probably smoking a cigarette before someone alerted him of the fight Seungkwan and I were having. I felt Mingyu’s hands roaming down my back and I tried getting even closer to him than I already was. The room felt hot, and I knew it wasn’t from the heating that was still on nor from the alcohol that was in my system. Mingyu being this close to me right now was making me lost in the feel of him and I craved to get even closer, to feel his skin on mine. My hands traveled to the hem of his long-sleeved shirt and I gripped it firmly, tugging on it. Mingyu’s lips pulled back just a little as I lifted the long-sleeved shirt over his body, throwing it on the floor somewhere besides us. Mingyu’s lips pulled into a smirk as his hands travelled to my ass and I was lifted up, legs coming around his hips as he started walking us backwards. I chuckled at him and started kissing all over his face, feeling him sit us down as I cradled his lap. His hands went to my braids and he pulled the hair ties off, running his hands through my hair to undo the braids. I tilted his head back and kissed him on the lips again and Mingyu’s hands went underneath my t-shirt, feeling up on my skin as he slowly dragged them all over my back. I sighed into the kiss and my hands went to the buckles of the dungaree to push them off, to be able to take my t-shirt off as well. Mingyu’s hands helped and in no time, my t-shirt was disregarded as well. He let his hands travel all over my torso and I moaned when he groped my breasts through my bra, pressing my lips forcefully against his. Our lips moved hungrily and I dragged my nails down Mingyu’s torso, eliciting a breathy moan from him, pushing him onto his back. His body bounced as he fell back on the mattress and I didn’t waste time as I lowered my head and left kisses all over his tanned skin, soft underneath my lips. Mingyu’s eyes were screwed shut and mouth slightly opened as his chest fell and rose at a steady rhythm, his hands gripping onto my waist as he impatiently pulled me up to kiss me on the lips. His hands pushed my hips, bringing it down on his and we both moaned at the contact. My body was on fire and everywhere Mingyu touched he left goosebumps; his own heat was suffocating. His honey like scent was intoxicating as I started circling my hips against his, feeling him get harder through his jeans. One hand squeezed my ass and the other fisted my hair as he pulled my head back, pressing kisses down my neck and collarbones. With fumbling hands, I tried undoing the buttons of his jeans as Mingyu was distracted kissing me and as I pulled the zipper, my hands pressed against his hardness, and it made Mingyu moan. He looked me in the eyes and sat up abruptly, almost knocking his forehead against mine.

“Are you sure?” His voice was husky and pupils blown wide as he looked me in the eyes. I nodded and he gently pushed me off, so that we both could get rid of our pants. I quickly pushed the dungaree off and Mingyu was already by my side, pushing me down on my back as he hovered between my legs.

“Mingyu, I want this.” My voice was just as raspy as his as I reassured him that I indeed wanted this. After he opened up about his childhood I felt like he finally put his full trust in me, I finally felt like I could truly trust him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me; I knew I meant a lot to him and I knew the feelings I felt for him he felt too just as intensely. I could see it in his eyes as his hands dragged over my legs, featherlike. I bit my lower lip as I anticipated his next move, he leaned down to press a kiss against my thigh and it made my heart jump from its place. His fingers curled around my panties and he slowly pulled them off, not breaking eye contact even for a second. Mingyu got rid of his own briefs and his hands came to rest on either side of my head. He lowered his body, so close yet not touching, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to be close to him, to feel all of him like I haven’t before.

“Mingyu.” I whispered, gripping the back of his neck, trying to get him to do something. He didn’t budge and I was getting frustrated, until he opened his mouth and spoke.

“I love you, Y/N.” My eyes widened and my heart jumped for the second time, I didn’t expect him to ever say those words to me. I figured our egos were too big to say those words to each other. I could feel the affection he had for me even if he didn’t say it. I knew I loved him, it started a while back, before there was something going on between us.

I opened my mouth to say the words back, but suddenly his skin was on mine and his lips were on mine, so filled with emotion that I was breathless. And just as I kissed him back, I felt him slowly entering me, stretching me out. My lips opened and I couldn’t help but let a moan fall from them as Mingyu pushed fully in, raising one of my knees to rest around his hips. I felt hot and full, and as I looked up at him, I could see he was just as satisfied as I was.

“I love you, Mingyu.” The words felt foreign on my lips as I breathlessly whispered them, but they were right. A smile pulled onto his lips and I tried to chuckle but his thrust knocked the wind out of me, I forgot what this felt like. But in that second I knew he was everything I’ve ever wanted.

After everything that went down last night, I still found the energy to wake up before sunrise, brew some coffee and head to the master bedroom’s balcony to watch the sun rise in silence and peace. The other guys went to sleep not long after Mingyu and I had fallen asleep, and I wasn’t surprised that it was only me up at that hour. I walked around carefully, trying to make as little sound in the kitchen as I could as Seokmin and Soonyoung were hugging each other in their sleep on the couch in the open living room. It was a rather small couch; they should have gone to their beds. When my coffee was done, I picked up a thicker blanket that was in the kitchen and brought it over to lay it on the two sleeping men. Seokmin grumbled something as I let the blanket cover their bodies, muttering a quiet ‘thank you’. With a smile, I went back upstairs and after using the bathroom, I went onto the little balcony. The fresh sea air was refreshing and the subtle sway of the boat was calming. Seagulls flew over head and I looked up with a smile, resting comfortably in the chair. The morning breeze was cold but pleasant and I left the door to the bedroom open, it needed a little fresh air. As I looked back I could see Mingyu laying sprawled out on his stomach in the big bed, his arm laying on my pillow as he slept soundly. I smiled as it was a sight I could get used to and made a mental note to ask Mingyu to use his yacht more often. The orange hues on the sky slipped inside the room too and reflect off of Mingyu’s tan skin, giving him a soft and beautiful glow. I looked out towards the sunrise, basking in the calmness that surrounded me. I wished to be in a state like this more often. Something crashing downstairs alerted me and I stood up and walked to the railing to peek downstairs. Minghao stood frozen, with a cup of coffee in his hands, as he had just knocked over some chairs the boys probably placed next to the door of the first floors balcony. I couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression and he looked up surprised.

“Good morning!” He called quietly and I offered him a smile.

“Good morning, I didn’t think anyone else would be up.” I spoke softly, knowing he’d hear me still.

“I never miss the sunrise when we sail out, it’s too beautiful and tranquil.” Minghao’s morning voice was cute and his ruffled hair too as he spoke, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You can come up here, I don’t mind sharing the sunrise with you.” Minghao chuckled and pulled his robe around his torso tightly.

“Are you sure?” He asked, looking a little reluctant.

“Of course, hurry up now, it’s almost over.” I beckoned him up and Minghao nodded with an excited grin, quickly disappearing inside to come and join me.

After everyone woke up and washed up, we ate the little leftovers there were and sailed back to the docks. It took us thirteen minutes before I set foot on the concrete, helped by Jeonghan, as Mingyu came up behind me, both of our backpacks on his broad back. I looked back at him and smiled, kissing his cheek as Seungcheol was somewhere still on the yacht. I made them clean up their mess, so that they wouldn’t need a maid to come and do it for them, and Jun was very against it but one look from Mingyu shut him up quickly. Seungkwan was surprisingly talkative this morning, even proceeded to ask me how my semester at university was and everyone laughed. Seokmin and Soonyoung pulled out their phones and thanked God they weren’t drunk enough to forget to record our fight, from two different angles. We both were embarrassed and swore never to bring it up again. As I was washing the dishes from our breakfast, Seungcheol walked up to me with a glare and I looked at him confused. Unfortunately, he heard Mingyu and I last night and he wasn’t happy that he was robbed of his sleep. I couldn’t help but laugh loudly when he very childishly complained to me about it, and Joshua walked up to us with a knowing smile before he offered to wash the rest of the dishes.

Now everyone was going towards their cars, some came together, others with their own cars. Mingyu stopped me before I could head over to Seungcheol’s car and kissed me deeply, surprising me, as Chan and Jeonghan started making gagging noises. I pulled away giggling and got my backpack from him, promising that I’d go over tomorrow for the day. Seungcheol was in a better mood than yesterday morning and looked well rested despite him complaining about Mingyu and I keeping him up. He pulled into the underground parking lot of our building and we got out quickly, headed for the elevator.

“I need a shower desperately.” He sighed as he leaned against the wall of the elevator, “I don’t like feeling the salt on my skin.”

“You should’ve showered on the yacht.” I said with a shrug as I swayed a little in the elevator.

“By the time I got to it the hot water was gone.” I chuckled and looked back at him.

“See…if you would’ve gotten up with me and Minghao to watch the sunrise, you would’ve been able to shower there.” Seungcheol shook his head with a pout and I chuckled, poking his cheek. The elevator doors opened and we both got out, going to our own apartments.

“Are you free today?” I asked as I pushed the key into the keyhole.

“If you’re in the mood to help me study, kinda.” Seungcheol said with a grimace and I nodded, remembering he failed one of his classes.

“Sure, after lunch?”

“Yeah, I want to sleep a bit more.” He muttered and we both opened our doors, I turned to wave at Seungcheol as he slammed his door shut. I chuckled and walked inside my apartment, sighing loudly as I dropped my backpack by the door. I took off my jacket and looked up, about to walk further inside when the sight in front of me made me freeze. I could see inside the living room from the hallway and what I saw left me horrified. The pillows I had on my couch were ripped up, the feathers from it laying everywhere. I dropped my jacket on the table I had by the wall and slowly took steps further inside my apartment, eyes growing wide at the sight of my kitchen. Everything was trashed, plates and cups lay on the ground shattered. There were scratches on the wall that weren’t there before. My heart was beating like crazy and I cautiously proceeded further inside, pushing the door of my bedroom open. My bedroom was a bigger mess than the kitchen. My clothes were pulled out from their places, they lay scattered around everywhere. The pillows were ripped open and the blanket was pulled off my bed, mattress cut up too. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Who would do this? Why would someone do this? Did they break into my apartment? It can’t be, this isn’t a bad neighborhood, my neighbors would’ve heard something and told me, especially Mrs. Lim. My heart was beating fast as I walked finally into the living room, eyes falling on all the shattered picture frames that once were hung on the walls. All of my notebooks and books were ripped apart and lay on the floor. I gasped when my eyes fell on a photo of myself and Seungcheol. My face was crossed out with a big red X and my eyes were missing. My hand flew to my mouth reflexively as I felt sick. I needed to get out, Seungcheol had to see this. I can’t be in here, what if the culprit is hiding in here somewhere? I turned abruptly and was about to hurry for the front door, when a blonde woman seemed to have shown up out of nowhere. She smirked at me, looking around the apartment with a worried gaze.

“What happened here?” Sana’s high-pitched voice sounded amused. It suddenly clicked in my head, why was she here? How would she know?

“Why did you do it?” I finally found my voice, I hated how it trembled. I didn’t even know what I was supposed to think right now. I can’t even escape; she’s blocking my path. My body was tense and ready to react, it was like all of my senses heightened as my heart pumped faster.

“This?” Sana looked around, motioning with her hands, “It was supposed to be a warning.”

“For what?” I asked and she huffed, looking at me like I was a little child getting disciplined.

“For bewitching Mingyu. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m truly impressed!” She started clapping slowly and I gulped, taking a few steps back when she advanced inside the living room, “I’ve been trying so hard to get his attention, nothing worked! And then you…a broke university student who happens to be the most boring person I’ve came across, catches his attention. Don’t you think it’s unfair?!”

“You can’t force someone into liking you, Sana.” I snapped, finding the confidence I always seemed to have in situations like this one. The more she spoke, the more my blood started boiling. I forgot about the initial fear I felt, all I wanted was to choke her, she deserved it.

“You know, everything was going just fine, until you came along.” Her voice was venomous as she tried getting closer to me, but I kept my distance. I didn’t glance towards the exit, trying not to remind her that if we switched places, I’d very easily be able to make a run for it. So instead, I played it smart. I walked to the right so that she’d try and come by my left side, switching our places.

“Maybe to you everything was going just fine,” I mocked her with a disgusted face, Sana didn’t appreciate it, “But I’ve only heard shit about you. Get out of your head, Sana, Mingyu never liked you. And he’ll never like you.”

Sana’s jaw clenched and she started laughing crazily, her eyes narrowed as she watched me, “And you still think he’ll keep you around forever? That you’ll be his?”

“I’m no one’s,” I snapped, palms turning into fists, “and how my relationship goes with Mingyu is none of your business. Now that you’re here, with your special little warning, you’ve got me wondering…did Momo go crazy because of Mingyu? Or you…”

Sana’s eyes widened and I chuckled, backing towards the hallway slowly, “Yeah, I know everything Sana. If you trashing my apartment was supposed to be a warning, why are you still here? It’s a bit now embarrassing that I’ll have to tell your colleagues what a psycho their boss is.”

Sana chuckled in a very hysterical way and looked back at me with her eyes blazing from fury, maybe I shouldn’t have mocked her and instead should have taken off a long time ago, “I had a change of mind in the middle of trashing your apartment. And I’m really glad I decided to stay for a little extra surprise…because…today is the day you take your last breath, Y/N.”

My heart jumped into my throat and as I turned and took off towards the front door, Sana jumped over my coffee table and caught up with me, grabbing onto my hair. I exclaimed in pain as she hauled me back roughly and pushed me into the wall. She was holding onto my hair tightly, a lot tighter than Seungkwan was, I could feel her ripping the strands out. My eyes filled with tears from the pain and I placed my hands quickly against the wall when I felt Sana pulling my head back to smash it against the wall. My hands took the hit and Sana hissed; lips pressed against my ear.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have mocked me.” Her voice was low and I yelped when she yanked me backwards. Taking the chance, I pushed my body into hers and with all the force I had, I ran us backwards, knocking Sana into the wall this time. She didn’t let go of my hair still and I stomped on her foot, putting all of my weight into my right leg, and she cried out in pain.

“Let go, you bitch!” I exclaimed as I elbowed her hard in the stomach and she finally released my hair, doubling over. She was quick to recover and before I could run to the front door, which wasn’t far at all, she had me turned around by my arm and next thing I knew a punch was landed on my jaw. It threw me off balance and I fell against the wall, groaning loudly as an excruciating pain traveled all over my jaw. I’ve never felt anything like it before, I could’ve cried right there and then. I haven’t recovered from the blow yet when Sana had my hair in her fist again, keeping me standing upright. She was so much shorter, but her power was immense. She punched me in the stomach and it knocked all the air out of my lungs, pain traveling all over my torso. I looked at her through teary eyes and mustered up all the power I had in me and pushed her back by the shoulders, her fist yanked on my hair but it let go as she was taken by surprise. She stumbled back and I finally turned and started running, when the click of a gun made me freeze. My body ran cold, it felt like my heart stopped beating and my blood froze over. My lower lips trembled as I raised my arms to let her know that I wouldn’t do anything. I slowly turned around, my jaw and stomach throbbing in pain, as I came face to face with a smirking Sana.

“You know how to fight,” She said with a chuckle, holding the gun tightly, “And you’re pretty good too.”

I just gulped, unable to take my eyes off the gun. So, after all, I wouldn’t die at the hands of Kim Mingyu. An obsessed woman was the one to end my life. I wondered what his reaction would’ve been after the night we shared. After I told him I loved him. Would he avenge my death? Would he destroy everything and everyone who came onto his path? Would Seungcheol miss me very much? Would he be able to recover? Find a true friend in someone else? What about Vernon? He’d lose someone once again he cared about; he’d be destroyed. My parents…my poor parents who didn’t deserve to bury their only daughter. They’d be forever tainted; I know they would never recover from losing me.

“Look at you…” Sana scoffed and I looked at her, biting my lower lip, “You’re seriously crying.”

I didn’t realize I started crying. She pushed the safety off her gun and a voice, so loud I jumped, shouted at me to just “MOVE”. I didn’t think twice, I ducked and ran towards Sana like you see the rugby players do, and I heard the gun going off, but I didn’t care. I didn’t know if it hit me or not, my body, which felt sore a second ago, felt like it just got a refreshing massage. I wasn’t in pain anymore; all I could hear was my loud heart going crazy. There were two screams and my arms latched onto Sana’s torso tightly as I ran into her body, knocking us down onto the floor. She was breathing hard and her eyes rolled to the back of her head for a second from the impact her body went through, and I looked at her with so much anger that her body started trembling.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have touched me.” I mocked, using her own words against her, as I raised my fist and crashed into the side of her face, her resisting body going limp under me. I was breathing hard as I shook her body, seeing if she was still conscious. When I was sure she wasn’t, I scrambled away from her and gripped onto my hair, realizing I was shaking very hard. I covered my ears when I heard a door being kicked open and curled up into a ball, trying to hide from whoever came to get me. Sana almost killed me. I screamed when someone touched me and before I could fight the person, my cheeks were gripped tightly and moved away from my knees. The touch was warm and the hand was big against my cheeks, and I wouldn’t stop trembling.

“Please,” The panicked whisper hit me like bricks and my eyes flew open, “Y/N, oh my God.”

My arms flew around Seungcheol as I clung onto him like a koala, clutching his shirt into my hands so tightly I almost ripped the fabric. His arms were tight around me and he rocked us back and forth, caressing the back of my head as he shooshed me like I was a baby. It was strangely calming, but I couldn’t get myself to let go of him. Something wet dropped onto my cheek and I thought I was crying again, but it was Seungcheol’s wet hair. I realized his shirt was a little wet too, he must have ran here straight when the gun went off.

“Y/N,” He whispered into my ear and I nodded, unable to speak, “You have to call Mingyu.”

I nodded again and let Seungcheol helped me off the ground, I still didn’t pull out of his embrace, “I need to bring over something, you have to let me go—”

“Don’t leave me alone with her!” I said panicking and Seungcheol patted my head again.

“It’ll take five second, I promise.” Seungcheol’s tone was reassuring but I was reluctant still, “When did I not keep my promise?”

I sucked in a shaky breath and finally detached myself from my best friend, hands shaking once again. His expression was the exact opposite of his tone, when I looked at him, my throat closed in on me. His expression was so dark it almost made me cry again, but before we could say anything else, he was out of the door. I glanced at Sana and ran to my jacket, keeping my eyes on her as I fumbled around for my phone. When I finally had it in my hands, I unlocked it and dialed Mingyu’s number. I pressed myself against the wall and scooted to the front door, ready to flee if Sana happened to wake up. I didn’t know how strong my punch was.

“Sugar—”

“Sana tried to kill me.” It came out as a whimper and there was dead silence on the other line, “She just—she was in my apartment—Seungcheol told me to call you.”

My heart was beating fast and the front door knocked into my shoulder as Seungcheol came rushing in, I moved away to let him in. There was still silence on the other end and suddenly the call ended. I looked at my phone confused and remained where I was, watching Seungcheol press duct tape onto Sana’s lips and then he hauled her up and dragged a chair into the middle of my living room before sitting her on it. He took the ropes he brought and tied her tightly against the chair, pulling on it to make sure she wouldn’t be able to undo it. He looked around and when his eyes fell on the gun he went and took it, taking the ammunition out before smashing it against the floor angrily.

“Seungcheol,” I whispered, lips trembling.

“I can’t believe this bitch tried to—to kill you.” A vein was popping in his neck and I gazed at him sadly, “I should’ve killed her the second I found her swooping around our things years ago. I just—did she hurt you?”

I shook my head and took two steps towards him, still keeping my distance from Sana, “No, the bullet didn’t hit me—I think. I’d feel that—right?”

“You would,” Seungcheol sighed, running his hands through his wet black hair, “What did Mingyu say?”

“Nothing.” I whispered, biting my lower lip anxiously.

“Oh, fuck.” Seungcheol muttered to himself and before I could ask what that meant, Mingyu and Vernon came storming inside my apartment. I jumped and pressed myself up against the wall, my heart thumping from the sudden actions of the two new comers. Vernon’s eyes were fixed on Sana and he started looking around my apartment, Mingyu, however was only looking at me. We looked at each other and in a split second I was in his arms, breathing in his honey and smoke like scent, telling myself that I was safe now. He was here, Sana wouldn’t hurt me anymore. Mingyu didn’t react to my touch, he pushed me back a little, looking down at my face.

“What did she do to you?” The Mingyu from yesterday was gone; the man in front of me, was the man who held a gun to my head. His voice ice and expression cold as he waited patiently for my answer.

“Punched me twice and—tried to shoot me.” I shuddered at the words and Mingyu looked at Vernon, giving him a nod. I looked at Vernon alarmed when he went inside my kitchen and returned with a glass of water, apparently Sana didn’t break everything.

“What are you going to do?” I whispered to Mingyu as Vernon walked to Sana. Mingyu looked down at me and carefully pushed me away.

“Don’t move from here.” Is all he said and I heard water splashing, so I turned and saw Sana’s eyes wide open. She looked around franticly and panicked, but when her eyes fell on Mingyu she seemed to relax a little bit. I glared at her as I remained as far away as I could from her, Vernon abandoning the glass on the coffee table as he came to stand next to me. Seungcheol was leaning against the entrance of the living room as he watched Sana with a glare. Mingyu walked slowly, looking around my apartment, taking everything in. His eyes fell on Sana and he nodded at Seungcheol, who ripped the duct tape from her mouth. Vernon placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side, offering me a little comfort. I sighed and I thanked him quietly, needing the little support he could offer me. He looked just as emotionless as Mingyu and Seungcheol, but his eyes were full of worry as we shared a glance, and his thumb kept rubbing my shoulder in a calming motion, we both needed it.

“Mingyu.” Sana’s voice was whiney and tears gathered in her eyes. Mingyu interlaced his fingers in front of himself and sighed loudly, pursing his lips.

“Explain yourself.” His voice was emotionless as he looked everywhere but at Sana.

“I—I—I—” Sana seemed to be at a loss of words as she looked panicked around, her eyes falling on me and she frowned. Her body was slightly trembling and I couldn’t help but scowl at her.

“Relax, my dear,” My body tensed upon hearing Mingyu’s words and the warmness in his tone, and I twitched when he rubbed Sana’s cheek, “I asked you something simple. All you have to do is be honest with me.”

Vernon was aware of my reaction and he squeezed me, looking at me, “He knows what he’s doing, don’t get mad.”

“Touching her and being nice to her when she tried to kill me?” I snapped at Vernon quietly, but Seungcheol glanced at us, and I realized I wasn’t very quiet. Sana’s lips pulled into a smirk for a split second before she nodded at Mingyu.

“Okay, I—I will, but…will you hurt me?” She asked, faking the fear in her voice.

“Depends on if you tell me the truth or not.” Mingyu said casually as he shrugged and then took a seat on my sofa. Vernon continued rubbing my shoulder with his thumb and I decided to remain calm and silent, if whatever Mingyu was doing will make Sana talk, I won’t fuck it up.

“Well, I just—couldn’t stand seeing you with Y/N, Mingyu. Not when I worked so hard to be with you and well—you did so much for Momo, I wanted to show you my gratitude, I really did! And things were going amazing between us but—that bitch showed up and she came between us. I didn’t want to do this, Mingyu, I swear. I just wanted to scare her a bit, make her run away on her own, but then I just—I found your clothes in her wardrobe and her bathroom smelled like your cologne, I just—I lost control! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do what I did, I just wanted to scare her—”

“Did you scare her?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows nonchalantly and my pulse was raising by every minute.

“I did!” Sana chuckled like a mad woman and looked me in the eyes, “She even cried!”

My jaw clenched and if it wasn’t for Vernon, I would’ve lunged at her and choked her.

“How did you make her cry?” Mingyu pressed on and I tried to steady my breathing.

“I pointed my gun at her. I pulled the trigger but the bitch dodged it last minute. What a pity, I would’ve hit her straight in her heart—” Mingyu’s sudden movement made Sana flinch and I looked at him as he placed his left hand in the pocket of his coat, coming to stand next to Seungcheol.

“And this is the truth, yes?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows at Sana and she nodded at him proudly. Mingyu sighed deeply and looked at Seungcheol, shaking his head at him. Seungcheol didn’t react, he just reached for his phone and started typing on it. Sana looked between the two with a smile and Vernon sighed beside me, I looked at him confused.

“What’s happening—”

“You see, my dear,” Mingyu interrupted Sana’s frantic question, “thing is…you touched something that’s mine. You hurt her, Sana, you hurt Y/N. And I appreciate your honesty, but your actions can’t be forgiven. No one touches Y/N, not even me, do you hear me?”

“I—I’m so sorry—”

“Shut up!” Mingyu snapped, his expression falling as his anger came ripping through him, “You tried to kill Y/N, Sana, are you out of your fucking mind?! I guess you are, Seungcheol was right…Momo was right. You know little Kim Doyoung?”

“He’s my subordinate—”

“Exactly!” Mingyu laughed, leaning down to be eye level with Sana, “And if you’re gone…he takes your place. Sana, I’m sorry to tell you, but you failed to be of our help…unlike little Doyoung, he’s been a very important asset to your investigation but also an amazing help for me.”

“What—I don’t understand—” But I did, everything Mingyu was saying made sense. I tensed up and looked at both Vernon and Seungcheol, but they looked unphased, they knew what was coming.

“Mingyu, please, you don’t have to—” I tried to reason with him.

“She almost killed you.” He snapped, drawing his gun out of his pocket. My heart was thumping quickly in my chest and Vernon’s hold tightened on me as Seungcheol turned to look our way.

“Look away, Y/N.” My eyes widened and as a scream left Sana’s mouth, the gun went off. I couldn’t see it because Mingyu’s body blocked the view and Seungcheol walked up in front of me, holding my head to be only able to look at him. A shaky breath left my lips as Vernon’s warm embrace left me and I found myself shaking again. Seungcheol kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the shuffling coming from my living room. There was a hard thud and I flinched, holding onto Seungcheol’s wrist.

“It’s over.” Mingyu’s sudden voice in my ear made me tense up and Seungcheol’s hands went away as Mingyu pulled me into him this time, burying my head in his chest. I heard the two men pass by us and then it was suddenly silent in my apartment. My arms went around Mingyu’s torso as I held onto him tightly, feeling tears in my eyes once again. He held me tightly and kissed my head, making me sigh.

“You’re moving in with me.” He muttered and I pulled back to look at him, “Something like this will never happen again.”

I nodded wordlessly and Mingyu looked behind him, “My neighbors…”

“Will be taken care of—”

“Don’t kill them!” I quickly exclaimed and Mingyu chuckled, cupping my cheek.

“Of course not, sugar, I don’t kill innocent people.” I gulped and looked him in the eyes, still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he killed Sana just a few minutes ago.

“I’ll move in with you.” I whispered and leaned up to press a kiss against his lips, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. The man I was in love with was a criminal, he just killed a woman before my eyes…a woman that tried to kill me first. Was this the life I’d live if I remained by his side? As I looked up at Mingyu, I felt all emotions mix together. Love, happiness, anxiety, fear. Yet, I felt safe in his arms, I knew he’d do anything for me. He might not be the best person, but I couldn’t help love him more. The other half of me I always craved and wanted was finally in front of me. A smile pulled onto Mingyu’s lips and he pressed a kiss against my forehead, and I knew.

I knew I’d spend the rest of my life with him.

I was in love with Kim Mingyu, and nothing could scare me away anymore.

A/N: Thank you so much everyone who’s shown support for this mini series! It’s probably the first time I’ve been shown this much love every time I posted a new part, and you made it so enjoyable for me to write. I was legit every single time excited to post it, because I wanted to see your reactions. Thank you very much again for being interested in this mini series and sending me your thoughts, I appreciate them all! I’m a little sad that this is over, but I’m so excited about Streets, that I can’t be very sad haha. Besides, that Wonwoo oneshot in this universe is still happening, give me two weeks! :) I wish you all a pleasant evening/day and I hope I’ll see you showing up for my other stories as well <3

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magireco · 3 years

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Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!!

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc...

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka...

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation.

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them.

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

#asks #luna-mistrunner #homura akemi #analysis #THIS MAY HABE TAKEN ME LIKE 2 DAYS ON AND OFF

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retvenkos · 3 years

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No, I am not done talking about aging up the characters of the Grishaverse, thank you very much...

(Spoilers for pretty much all of the Grishaverse!)

I’m going to come right out and say it - I don’t think aging up all of the characters was the smartest move. I think the Grishaverse is compelling, and the characters can be very complex, and part of that leans on the ages of the characters. I’m going to be talking about why I think (at least some) of the characters should have retained their same age, or at the very least, shouldn’t have been quite so aged up.

But first, I understand some reasons as to why they aged up characters, so I’m going to state them outright, to advocate on their behalf (but also, I can try my hand at debunking some of these. For funsies):

1. Mass audiences will be less interested if the main story feels too Y.A. - most adult audiences won’t want to watch that genre.

(This is a very fair argument! However, when comparing Shadow and Bone to other popular (non Y.A.) fantasies, Shadow and Bone is very Y.A. Compare Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings to Shadow and Bone, and you can see how the Y.A. genre permeates the text. There are character moments and story beats that Shadow and Bone utilizes that are characteristic of the Y.A. genre. It was created with that audience and expectation in mind. No matter how hard the show tries to divorce the source material from it’s Y.A. roots, it is still very much a Y.A. story. The second most important plot line is a romance and not the implications of how society created the Darkling and how society Must Be Fixed if we ever want to move on and win the war. Those problems of the wider Grishaverse are better tackled in the Nikolai Duology (which still stumbles), and the Nikolai Duology feels like a different story/genre because it’s tackling something different. Shadow and Bone is an inherently Y.A. story, and really, it is the later books in the Grishaverse that deviate from the tropes and traps of the genre. No matter how you dice it, the original trilogy is very much a Y.A. story. Lean into it, and you might be better able to mess around with the fluidity of the genre, all while your audience knows what the story is, and what will come of it. Alternatively, the writers could have gotten deep into the text and tried to bring up the deeper problems of the story (most of those grey areas) to make it less trope-like, but that would require an almost complete retelling, which we did not get. Too often, Y.A. stories are divorced from the genre when they are adapted, but it’s not done in an organic way that looks at the text itself, and it feels very off when viewing. Just let Shadow and Bone be what it is. If you want a longer rant on this, hmu.)

2. Some very serious things happen to these characters! To write about it is one thing, but to watch a 17 year old Alina be manipulated in this way or to watch a 19 year old Genya be used in this way is dark and very much Not Okay!

(Yes! Watching all of the terrible, terrible things happen is bad enough on it’s own, and when you de-age Alina from 25 to 17 and Genya from 30 to 19, there are some very big consequences! It’s not nearly as inviting or Okay to view! Anyone would be rightly horrified! Especially older audiences! Well, forgive me for being so blunt, but that is part of The Point. Part of what makes all of this so cruel and so unfair is that these characters are young - they are barely no longer children - and that is what heightens the injustice of it all. Alina is a teenager who is tasked with saving the world and freeing an oppressed people! And she doesn’t want to do it! That’s a lot to handle, right? Arguably, by keeping their young ages, you are better breaking out of the Y.A. adaptation trap because you are making a statement about how young these characters are and how unfair all of this is. Y.A. adaptations always age up the characters for palatability, but by keeping them young, you are making it more grungy and more frightening without even changing the source material!)

3. Okay, but adult audiences don’t want to ship teenagers. How will we get them to watch?

(This argument is probably the most sound, and it makes the most sense! Netflix wants to get the widest audience they can - they know teenagers who read the book are going to watch it anyway, so they need to get the older crowd invested. An easy way to get people invested is to get them hooked on a romance plotline. Then you have to watch the show to see how it progresses! It would be hard to do that if adults feel uncomfortable telling 16 year olds to kiss already. Another problem is that Shadow and Bone doesn’t have an adult cast - they have the young ones and that’s about it. Compare that to Game of Thrones (or, if you want me to stop with GOT references, shows like Cobra Kai) where there are 2+ generations - fans have the older group to ship, and the younger group to wish the best for. This is a trap of the Y.A. genre. They are Kids, but they are Not. In the book, this works fine, as their ages aren’t mentioned often. In fact, in the books, they read like competent 25 year olds, except for key moments when they show their age, which usually feels bittersweet (the Six of Crows Duology is much better at this than Shadow and Bone, but I digress). So what do we do? Well, D*rklina fans aren’t going to like this, but I would argue that we keep Alina and Mal aged down, and the story subliminally changes from “the love triangle” to “coming of age while dealing with abusive relationships”. In fact, this is another great way to divorce it from the Y.A. genre, which was already a goal we had in mind.)

✧ *:･ﾟ

Now, let’s move onto character analyses... everyone’s favorite.

In this section, I’m going to break down some main characters from the Shadow and Bone Netflix show (and some upcoming characters, just for the hell of it) and I’m going to advocate for changing their ages. At the end, I’ll give you a rough ballpark estimate for what I think they should have been.

(Also, I just want to address that I loved the actors chosen for the Netflix show, and this is in no way an attack on them. They did great, and they’re performances were amazing. This is me talking about an issue the showrunners made, not the actors.)

Alina Starkov

First, we get to talk about the lovely Alina Starkov. Jessie Mei Li is 25 years old. Her book counterpart is 17. That’s a whopping 8 year difference where a lot of growth happens. Alina Starkov in the books is doing her best for a girl who is told that she is going to save the world. She doesn’t have a lot of experience outside of the orphanage and the army, and so her knowledge of how Grisha are treated is ignorant at best, and malicious at worst. She doesn’t see nearly all of the suffering that is happening in the world, and for the most part, it stays that way. She knows the Fjerdans don’t like them, she knows the Shu are bad too, but she doesn’t really know the extent. She really gets a good look at it in the 3rd book, but for a large part of the series, Alina doesn’t really know what she’s up against, and her age is an easy explanation for her ignorance. A 17 year old growing up in a remote orphanage hasn’t had the greatest education. A 25 year old Alina has less excuses.

(There’s also a lot to be said about how Alina mostly... doesn’t care about the wider issues plaguing Grisha. This is decidedly Bad. I’m going to say this once, and I will say it many times again, but generally, audiences are more okay when a younger character does Bad Things because they reason they’ll learn in time. Thus, for a show, it’s strategically better to make these characters younger. Saying this doesn’t mean I support Alina’s disregard, it just means I recognize how it is utilized in storytelling.)

But why is her ignorance important, you ask? Because, Alina misses a key point of why the Darkling does what he does. To her, his actions of expanding the Fold are very black and white. Even when she’s with him, she refuses to see how it’s justified. Thus, a younger Alina is a little more understandable.

If Netflix was planning on focusing on how the Darklings desires are good but his methods are wrong, keeping Alina aged up is fine because she could be the voice of those concerns. However, I don’t really see that happening, so aging her up seems cheap.

Furthermore, part of the injustice of Alina’s character is that she is a child tasked with saving the world. She is a teenager who is being worshipped as a Saint, and who is going to have to martyr herself for the good of the world. It’s unfair. It’s cruel. Alina being 25 doesn’t somehow change this injustice, but to the average viewer, seeing a 17 year old child dying for the good of Ravka - dying because she’s the only one who can stop the villain - is more emotional and more disturbing. There’s your grit, Netflix. It was already handed to you.

And I know, Ben Barnes (who plays the Darkling) is 39! It would be extremely uncomfortable to watch him fall in love and manipulate Alina! Again, I’m apologizing to the D*rklina shippers, because that is The Point. The Darkling is hundreds (perhaps thousands) of years old. That is why his talk of “eternity” is so compelling. He has felt it. He has lived it. When he tells Alina that he will break her, it should be greatly disturbing! It would change the feeling of the story completely if Alina looks like a teenager. It would be a story about survival - not of romance. And while survival is definitely a Y.A. dystopian or fantasy trope, depending on how it’s handled, it could be markedly different from its predecessors.

However, book Alina is a minor, and that doesn’t sit right with me. Thus, I would make Alina 18, or 19 at the most. She should still very much be a teenager.

Malyen Oretsev

Mal is the next character we get to talk about, and I’m sure you have an idea about what I’m going to say. Archie Renaux is 23 and his book counterpart is 18. That’s only a five year difference, which isn’t that damning, but still leaves some problems.

One thing a lot of people disliked about Mal in the books was his temper and the way he expressed his frustrations. Now, while it’s true that viewers tend to be more forgiving with male characters having bad attitudes, this attitude problem could still be something that viewers will dislike in later seasons. This problem is only larger when you factor in an older age. Already, I expect people to complain about Mal’s temper and his inability to vent his frustrations in a healthy way (avoiding talking to Alina, blowing up, having a sour mood, having violent or explosive tendencies). This is only going to get worse when another argument added is “he is a grown man. He should have learned how to cope by now.” This argument isn’t completely nullified by a younger age, but it is made a little more understandable to the audience. (Again, in no way am I justifying these unhealthy behaviors, nor am I saying it’s okay when younger men do it, I’m just saying that viewers on a whole are more likely to excuse this behavior from a younger man - a sad reality, but a reality nonetheless.)

And as for his tracking ability, which is the best out of everyone in the world, he is gifted primarily because he’s an amplifier. At the end of Ruin and Rising, it’s noted that he can’t track nearly as well as he could because the world doesn’t hum with life in the way it used to. The in-world explanation probably also explains the ease with which he can pick up new skills. Thus, Mal doesn’t need to be aged up for skill reasons.

So, I would make Mal 19-21 in the series. He can be the slightly older than Alina, and everything works out how it should.

The Darkling

This one is going to be really quick - I think the age they made the Darkling was fine. Ben Barnes is 39 and we really don’t get an answer as to how old the Darkling is in the book (although he’s older than 400 years old, because the Fold was created 400 years ago).

It’s worth noting that in the books, the Darkling isn’t described as being much older than (a 17 year old) Alina, but having him be markedly older than Alina was a smart move for subtext, but also for the presence that the Darkling has, and the reverence with which people regard him. The Darkling has power - I can’t imagine a 17 year old boy having the same effect as a grown man.

I have no beef with a 39 year old Darkling. I wouldn’t age him down much more, but I also wouldn’t make him much older, either.

Genya Safin

Genya Safin is another character I feel like should be addressed. Daisy Head is 30 years old. In the books, Genya is 19. Now, Genya’s character is an interesting one, because arguably either age suits her character. Throughout the series she’s shown to be more mature and capable than Alina, and while she places importance on the cliques of the Little Palace (which was poorly shown in the show, imo), she was raised in this environment from very young, and she’s at the bottom of the ranking. Her investment in it is justified. Sadly, I think more viewers would be moved by her story of sexual abuse if she were younger, but what happened is a tragedy and it was wrong no matter how you dice it.

Her age is one of the few I’m neutral on.

However, she and Alina are shown to be very close in the book, and while that doesn’t carry over as easily in the show, I think it would be nice to place her at least a little closer in age to Alina, but still keep her a little older so that she can offer her advice and it doesn’t feel preachy or unearned.

I would place her around 19-26. She has a lot of room for her age, because it’s not vital that she be any specific age.

David Kostyk

I’m very briefly talking about David because Luke Pasqualino is 31 and David in the books is 19-20. I aged down Genya, and since they are love interests, I would like them to be in a little closer range of each other.

However, David is a very gifted Fabrikator - so much so that he changes the war considerably in later books - so I still want him to be older than the average cast.

I would place him around 24-29, and mostly, it would be based around the age of Genya. I wouldn’t want him to be 29 if Genya is 19. That’s just the ballpark range.

Zoya Nazyalensky

The final Shadow and Bone character I’m going to talk about is Zoya because she’s really important later in the Grishaverse. Online, I could not determine exactly what Sujaya Dasgupta’s age is, but the two ages most commonly given are 19 or 21. Zoya in the books is 19-20, so Sujaya is one of the most faithful castings in terms of age.

I think it’s important that Zoya is around the age of Alina. Not only do they have a shared love interest in the form of Nikolai (and the Darkling in the show, which I absolutely hate), but they also have a rivalry for the Darkling’s favor (which isn’t romantic, but about sTATUS), and having her be markedly older than a teenage Alina would be weird, in my opinion.

Furthermore, Zoya’s character is pretty closed off and (dare I say) one-dimensional in the original Shadow and Bone trilogy, so keeping her younger isn’t going to make her any less believable. She’s not particularly wise, so keeping her young won’t be an issue.

Finally, she has a romantic plotline with Mal (even if it doesn’t go anywhere), so we want to keep her within range of Mal’s age, too.

I would place Zoya at 19-22. Thus, I am in agreement with the showrunners!

Nikolai Lantsov

A character that has yet to make an appearance in the show is Nikolai Lantsov, who is stated as being 20-21 in Siege and Storm, and the rest of the Shadow and Bone trilogy. Nikolai hasn’t been casted yet, but I decided to put him here because why not?

Nikolai, interestingly enough, is a character I would like to age up, however, only slightly. Nikolai is a very accomplished character, as anyone who has read the series knows, and while he does have the grooming to be that smart and accomplished, he is able to outsmart the Darkling and other older characters on multiple occasions, and him being so young just seems off. Of course, I understand why he is young - his love interests are, and he certainly has his moments where he’s boyish and unprepared - but these reasons pale in comparison to all of his talents and accomplishments.

Taking all of this into consideration, I would put Nikolai at 23 or 24. It’s a minor age change, and it would really just make him more apt to grow into his role. He’s still young enough to where people can underestimate him, but he’s old enough to justify having such smarts and charm. The only argument I can see going against this is his love story with Alina, seeing as she’s 18/19, but I think there was a lot that went into his pursuit of Alina. At first it was political, but after that, it became about how Alina was someone who challenged him and knew him for all that he was. It was less of a romance and more of a friendship that lended itself to a nice opportunity. It could have been more. It wasn’t. Plus, the age gap isn’t egregious.

Tamar Kir-Bataar and Tolya Yul-Bataar

I’m briefly talking about these twins, because they are originally 18-19 in the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, and I would like them to be older overall. Tamar and Tolya are some of the most competent characters in the Grishaverse, and having them be the same age as Mal and Alina is off, in my mind.

I would like them to be at least Nikolai’s age or older, so 23-27.

✧ *:･ﾟ

Finally, we’re on to the crows....

Kaz Brekker

Ah, yes. The Bastard of the Barrel. His is a character I was actually really glad to see aged up, before watching the show. Afterwards, I have some more complex thoughts. Freddy Carter is 28 years old and Kaz, in the books, is 17.

Kaz in the books is very competent. So much so that he outsmarts everyone he comes up against - characters who are older than him and often have military strategy. Furthermore, he is ruthless. He is probably one of the darkest characters in all of the Grishaverse, and all of that is placed on the shoulders of a 17 year old. To make a comparison, he and Alina are the same age when their stories take place (Shadow and Bone for Alina, and Six of Crows for Kaz). I don’t know a lot of young celebrities to make the comparison, but he’s a teenager. He’s a child. Aging up Kaz in the show was something I was very much on board for. Kaz is a ruthless killer and an expert thief, and making him older was a smart move, imo. A Kaz in his 20′s made more sense.

However, when we meet Kaz in season one of Shadow and Bone, he’s very much in his fledgling state. Not a single plan of his goes as planned. He is foiled at every step, and the most gruesome thing he did in the show wasn’t bad, when you compare it to thing Kaz has canonically done. Rumors say that the Six of Crows arc is going to pick up in season two, and while I hope it doesn’t, I covered that particular argument far more in depth in another post and won’t address it here. Whether or not I think show Kaz is up to snuff, I think they aged him up too much and they depowered him too much.

Part of Kaz’ secret weapon was that he was wicked smart and crazy competent, but people underestimated him because of his age. They figured he didn’t have nearly enough experience to be as ruthless and cunning as he was. They were clearly wrong.

I think that Kaz in his 20′s makes sense, but Kaz in his late 20′s does not. Especially when you factor in the fact that he was so epically unsuccessful in the show, the extent to which they made him older wasn’t doing him any favors. It made him less “Dirtyhands” than he is.

So, final say, I would have made Kaz 20 or 21 in Shadow and Bone. We’re de-aging him so he still has time to grow, but he’s not crazy overpowered at 17. Furthermore, in a perfect world, he has time to age between Shadow and Bone and the events of Six of Crows.

Inej Ghafa

Inej is played by Amita Suman who is 23 years old. In the books, Inej is 16. In an interesting turn of events, I don’t find Inej in the books to be terribly overpowered so much as she is just really talented.

Inej in Six of Crows is hesitant to kill. She’s smart and watchful, and she’s a really great spider. She’s given backstory to explain all of this, and it makes sense. At most, she is mature for her age, but that is also given a pretty damn good reason. She has to be.

The few reasons I could see as to aging up her character is to make it less awkward for the romance between her and Kaz, as well as make the crows group more cohesive in age, with fewer outliers, both of which I am not against.

I would make Inej around 18 or 19 and call it a day.

Jesper Fahey

Jesper is another character that I largely have no problems with. Jesper is played by Kit Young who is 26 years old, and in the books, Jesper is 17.

In the books, Jesper is an extremely talented marksman, but part of that (even if he doesn’t know it or doesn’t want to acknowledge it in the books) is because he is a Grisha Fabrikator and he is using his gifts to bend the bullets he shoots and aims them where they need to go. His character wasn’t particularly overpowered in the books, and as for his personality, in the books he acted the most “teenage-like,” but in the show, he retained his same youthfulness without it seeming out of place, so that isn’t particularly damning.

For Jesper, I don’t mind aging him up or making him younger. Both work.

However, he has a romantic plotline with Wylan (who I will get to eventually), so we wan’t to keep that in mind.

Final say, I would make Jesper 18. He’s the same age as (or slightly younger than) Inej, and that sits well with me.

Matthias Helvar

Oh, boy. If you’ve been on my blog long, you know this is the character that started this whole rant. Because here’s the thing: Matthias is an incredibly complex character. And part of that complexity comes from the fact that Matthias doesn’t know about anything beyond what Fjerda has taught him. He is heavily indoctrinated and heavily ignorant, and his struggle is what makes him such an interesting character.

Matthias is played by Calahan Skogman who is 28 (in my other meta, he was 27, but birthdays, y’know?). In the books, Matthias is 18 when Six of Crows takes place. That’s a whopping 10 year age gap. As you can imagine, so much happens in 10 years time. Now, with Matthias, we’re going to look at his life a little more in depth so that you can really understand how this 10 year gap affects his ignorance.

Matthias’ family were killed by Grisha when he was a child. We don’t know how young, but that doesn’t really matter, because either way it’s traumatic. Soon afterward, he starts training to become a soldier. Now, just when drüskelle are allowed to be fully initiated at Hringkälla is unknown, but I’m guessing the age would be at youngest, 14 (although, it’s probably closer to 16, but I’m not arguing about that right now). Grisha are supposed to be the most dangerous type of person. The Fjerdans are not going to put 12 year olds out there to fight them. So, a roughly 14 year old Matthias is going on expeditions to catch Grisha. When he is 17, Matthias meets Nina. At this point, he has only been a full drüskelle for 3-ish years. Regardless of how many Grisha Matthias has captured, 3 years is a vast difference from his show counterpart, who is 28 and therefore (as a drüskelle since he was 14) has been capturing Grisha for 14 years. In fact, in the show, they give Matthias props for having been the one with the clever ideas for capturing Nina, which shows he has done this often. After that, Matthias spends one year in Hellgate, making in 18 in the books and (eventually) 29 in the show.

So, why was it so important that I detail that for you? Matthias’ change of heart is prompted by Nina, a pretty Grisha. I’m not saying their bond is shallow, but if you are a man who has a nasty past with Grisha and has been hunting them for 14 years, having a pretty Grisha change your mind is a little shallow and a little unbelievable. Even though Nina saved his life, I think it’s a little hard to sell the substantial change of heart he has. On the other hand, if Matthias is 18-19, he’s still a hormonal teenager, and his feelings for Nina prompting some critical thinking makes more sense. Furthermore, Matthias is younger and more impressionable. It would be much easier to change his worldview, if he were younger.

All in all, I would de age Matthias to be 19-20. Slightly older than in the books to allow for Nina to be a little older than her book counterpart (which I’m about to get to.)

Nina Zenik

Almost finished with my rant, we’re talking about Nina. Nina is played by Danielle Galligan who is 28 years old, and in the books, Nina is 17.

Now, Nina Zenik is a capable character. She is a spy. She speaks multiple languages, she’s a talented Grisha, and she’s quite self-assured. All of that advocates for an older Nina, so that she may have time to hone these impressive skills. Furthermore, Nina is the most sexualized of the Crows. I wouldn’t mind her being older, and I’m sure general audiences would be in favor of her not being a teenager.

Nina is also a soldier and she has a very complex storyline in Six of Crows, and later. By all accounts, aging her up is not a bad idea. In fact, I quite like the idea that Nina is older. I agree that she should be aged up, just not to the extent she was.

If this were my world, I would make Nina 20-22. That would make her the oldest out of all of the crows, and I quite like that.

Wylan Van Eck

Wylan has yet to be casted, but he is 16 in the books, and pretty damn smart. He’s not street smart, mind you, but he’s a chemistry nerd and demolitionist, so he’s very competent. He’s still under his father’s thumb, but I don’t take that to mean he has to be young - abuse can affect you well into your life. He’s definitely a character more naive to the realities of the Barrel, but that can easily be played off as “the rich boy is out of depth.”

There’s nothing that explicitly needs him to be younger than an adult, although the argument for making him young amongst the crows is strong and still stands.

He has a love story with Jesper, so we want to keep in mind the fact that Jesper is an adult.

Wylan also has the tricky little storyline of him being tailored into being Kuwei, so in determining his age, we want to keep him in the ballpark of Kuwei. Luckily, he was tailored from a Grisha on parem, so truly, anything is possible.

For his smarts, his competence, and his love story, I think we should age him up.

All in all, I would make Wylan 18. It’s not far from his book counterpart, and I think it makes sense.

Kuwei Yul-Bo

Kuwei is another character who was yet to be casted. He is 16 in Six of Crows, and I would say he is the character who most shows his age. Kuwei may be wicked smart, but he’s a chaos gremlin who doodles in his notebook, pretends to not understand Kerch, and also renames himself to be nhaban - “rising phoenix” in Shu. He doesn’t scheme the way the rest of the crows do, and while this can be explained away by the fact that he’s not a criminal, there still seems to be something hopeful and youthful about his character.

He’s still a boy in mourning over the death of his father, and he’s currently one of the world’s most wanted. In Crooked Kingdom, he’s vibing in a tomb for the majority of the book. Kuwei is honestly such a fun character that I hope gets more complexity in coming Grishaverse content.

Kuwei is very similar to Wylan in that he’s wicked smart (although his dad is a scientist and they have worked together, so there is some in-world explanation) and he has a crush on Jesper (don’t we all?).

Taking this into account, I would make Kuwei 17 or 18.

✧ *:･ﾟ

TL;DR, the characters of the Grishaverse were aged up and I’m a little miffed about it. The reasons for aging them up are to detract from the source material being a Y.A. story, but you cannot separate a story from it’s genre. The story is inherently Y.A. because it uses story beats that are typical of a Y.A. story. It’s not just viewer expectation - the story is Y.A. The ages of the characters in the books are very young in some cases, but in the show they were aged up too much, imo. It detracts from the tragedy of them being young and forced to survive, and it adds very little in most cases.

✧ *:･ﾟ tagging @missumaru

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kiribaku-queen · 3 years

Note

Congrats on the 500 followers! I was wondering if you can do a Deku request with some angst where the reader and him were best friends until they got to UA Deku gets super busy with hero training and almight that when ever the reader asks to hang up it he says no. So later on they start to hang out with kirishima more. Deku starts to notice and is trying to get readers attention again. It could end either but I just want the reader to end up with one or the other. I absolutely love your writing! Also sorry if this is super vague.

Little Too Late

Pairing: Midoriya x reader, Kirishima x reader

Angst, little fluff

Word count: 4.6K

A/N: I’ll be honest, this took me FOREVER to finish because I have the idea in my head, but somehow it just would flow out into words. And every time I wrote it, I didn’t think it was good enough so I kept rewriting it. I don’t think I’m completely satisfied, like some parts feel rushed??? But I also didn’t not want to put it out and leave you hanging. So SORRY if you’re disappointed in my writing with this one but I really tried my best. I’d still like to know your thoughs and thank you for all your continuous support~!

You screamed with excitement when your childhood best friend came to you with the news that he got accepted in his dream school. You had so many questions for him. Like how did he get in with no quirk? What was the test like? When does he start? Are the uniforms pretty? Did he meet any hot boys?! Okay, that question was specifically for you. Deku just sat there, rubbing the back of his neck, waiting for you to calm down with your loud mouth.

That’s why you two worked so well. This is why you were the best of friends. You could talk all day long, about anything really. Small things that happened in your day, gossip you heard at school, talking about boys! And Izuku took it all in, watching you with curiosity and listening to you intently. But it was also vice versa. When Izuku was talking about All Might, a hero fight that he saw when he was passing by, or heroes on TV, it was his turn to be a blabber mouth. And you would listen carefully to what he had to say. You respected each other’s interests and that’s why you blended so well together. Also on the fact that you both bonded over katsudon, but that’s besides the point.

Let’s not forget the huge secret your best friend just unleashed to you. You didn’t believe it at first. Because how could small, delicate, sweet Deku who you’ve know for your whole life to be quirkless to all of a sudden have a quirk? No less, All Might’s quirk? He couldn’t show you because he would break literally all his bones. But he did show you All Might’s autograph and that’s all the proof you needed. So it finally became a reality that Izuku Midoriya would be going to his dream school and become a hero.

“You’re gonna leave me for all your new hero friends,” you pouted, throwing yourself on his bed. He sits down next to you and pats your back.

“No I won’t. You’ll still be my best friend,” he reassured you but you weren’t convinced.

“I’ll be your best friend but you won’t see me anymore,” you began to fake cry. Usually by now, Deku would be panicking, trying to all different types of ways to cheer you up but this time, he plays with your hair to calm you down.

“I’ll see you every weekend, how about that?” he suggested. You jumped up right, sitting on your knees and facing the green haired boy.

“Promise?” you ask, sticking out your pinky finger and your bottom lip jutting out. He smiles at your softly and interlocks pinkies.

“Promise.”

“If you don’t, I’m gonna kill you! Power or not, I’ll give you a good punch straight to the cheek!” you playfully threatened, landing a fist that stopped right before it hit his cheek. You could never really hurt him or even lay a finger on him. He was too precious for you to lose.

School started and you two went your separate ways. Deku went to the famous U.A school while you went to your ordinary high school where nothing ever happens. At first, Deku kept his promise. Every weekend and sometimes even during the week days, he would come visit you after school to tell you all about what happen in class or about one of his classmates’ quirks. He was always so full of high energy and had so much determination to grow stronger that it fascinated you. You could watch him for hours on end, just listening to him and his stories. Often, he would show you all the notes he wrote down in his notebook. His mouth was like a machine gun that was stuck and couldn’t stop.

Although you were so happy for him and his new life, you were feeling left out. High school felt different without Deku by your side. It was hard for you to make friends because Izuku has been your only friend for so long that you didn’t know how to befriend new people. Most days, you would be eating lunch and spending free time by yourself. There was an occasion where you tried to talk to your classmates, but you ended up embarrassing yourself and you never wanted to do that again. Izuku was your support system and without him here, you felt your days getting longer and darker.

Izuku noticed that you weren’t as talkative lately. You usually would have a lot to say during his long rants. Whether its small comments or complaining or reactions, you always had something to say. But this time around, you were silent and it was concerning him. Thanks to his observation skills, he caught on to your strange behavior early on. And he was going to do something about it.

Him and a few of his classmates were going to mall since they needed a few things for a class trip. So of course, he invited you to meet a few of them since they were his closest friends. Not going to lie, you were going to deny the request. You didn’t want to impose and make it seem like Deku had to introduce you to his new friends. They were his friends. He can go and have fun with his friends all he wants without you, it was no biggie. But maybe he was doing this so that both of his worlds could combine. When Izuku was giving you those puppy eyes, you couldn’t say no. And you were about to flake last minute if it weren’t for him showing up at your house to make sure you get there. He was one persistent little man.

“Do I have to go? Maybe I’ll join next time,” you told Deku, trying to get out of meeting his friends.

“Come,” he insisted, grabbing you by the arm, practically dragging you out of the house.

“What if they don’t like me?” you worried. Honestly, any excuse you could make up was good at this point.

“They’re not that kind of people. You’ll love them!” he swore on his life. Yeah, well you’ll see about that.

You and Deku were the last to show up. His whole group was already there waiting. Maybe they were going to think badly of you now because you were late. Deku yelled and waved at them from afar, letting them know that he was here with you. A guy with glass and his friend with bright, red hair both waved while a shorter girl beside them was watching you two carefully.

“Woah, who’s this? A girlfriend?” the red head questions Deku when you finally arrived in front of them. You caught the shorter girl looking back between you two in a frantic and nervous manner.

“No, she’s my best friend!” Deku waved it off. You glanced at the girl again and you saw her sigh with relief. It didn’t take a genius to know that she has some type of feelings towards your friend. Out of the corner of your eye, you also caught Deku sneaking a glance at her. Oh? Is there a little love situation happening? You tried to hide a snicker that was trying to form on your lips but it kind of failed because you felt your best friend give you a hard nudge to the gut, making you immediately shut up.

“Let’s go!” Deku changed the subject real quick.

At first, shopping with Deku’s new friends was really fun. They took time to get to know you, chat with you, and even joke around with you. It made you gain confidence that you actually can make friends. But there was a small voice in the back of your mind telling you that they are just good at conversating. Maybe they don’t want to actually be your friend. Maybe it’s because they’ve been trained to be friendly since that’s what heroes have to do to calm civilians during a time of crisis. You were having the most fun you’ve had in a long time, so you disregarded that thought. But that fun didn’t last too long.

About an hour in, slowly but surely, Deku and his friends started to drift apart from you. They started to pull him aside, laughing and having a good time. While you? You stood to the side, watching them as they have fun. Deku and his friends were so immersed in their own conversations that you were practically invisible to them. It was like they forgot that they had a whole conversation with you just minutes prior. So when they walked ahead of you, you purposely walked slower.

This was embarrassing. They weren’t paying attention to you. Not like they should since they didn’t know you, but being left out bummed you out. And Izuku wasn’t doing anything about it. It was nice that he has more friends now. It really was. Seeing him converse and be himself around other people was so amazing. But they were so different from you. What if he didn’t want to hang out with you anymore because of that?

“Uh, (y/n) right?” you heard a voice come up next to you. Oh, it was one of Izuku’s friends. He had bright red hair and a toothy grin. It was a simple question yet you hadn’t processed what he said.

“What?” you asked in a daze.

“Your name. It’s (y/n), isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah,” you laughed awkwardly, not able to keep eye contact with him. Kirishima kept asking you questions and you responded with one word, or if he’s lucky, two word answers. You thought that giving him short answers would make him leave you alone. But on the contrary, it made him want to stay even more. He saw you were being left out of the group. Uncool for his classmates to do that, but unmanly of Deku, too, because he was the one who brought you. Not to mention that you were his best friend since forever. But he was being left out too. Which he was okay with, but obviously you weren’t and it was written all over your face. So it seemed like a good idea for two loners to hang out with each other. Plus, this was a good opportunity to make friends with such a pretty lady.

And oh boy, was it working. Sure, it was awkward at first because you really weren’t in the mood for talking. But Kirishina just made every conversation, every topic so natural and free flowing. He just captivated your whole attention that you didn’t even think about your friend ditching you to be with his other friends.

“I probably should get going,” you excused yourself. It was already getting late with the sun starting to set in the golden, pink sky. Your parents definitely wouldn’t like it if you stayed any later. Kirishima frowned, disappointed that your time together was so short. Personally, he was having a great time talking to you, laughing with you, being with you, looking at you…

“Ah, let me get your number,” Kirishima quickly whipped out his phone, stopping his thoughts from exploring any more ideas on why he liked being with you. But maybe he would think more about it later. You agreed to exchanging numbers with the red head and headed home before it got too dark. You didn’t even bother letting Izuku know. After doing that to you? He didn’t deserve another second of your time. You really wished you never went. But at least you had a little fun with Kirishima at the end.

You walked back alone, thinking about your time with your new friend. On cue, you got a ping on your phone. Suddenly, your lips turned from a frown into a wide smile that you had to bite your bottom lip from smiling so hard.

Get home safe 😊 -K

If you weren’t in public right now, you think you’d be giggling like a little girl. He was such a sweetheart it was driving you crazy.

When Izuku found out that you walked home by yourself, he physically facepalmed himself and immediately ran to you. How could he not notice that you weren’t by his side? You must have been that upset to leave without telling him. Stupid, stupid. How could he be so stupid and ignorant to leave you alone when he was the one who invited you out. There was nothing in the world that could make up for what he did, but he had to try.

He knocked on your door, leaving over and panting from his sprint to your house. Seconds later, you were opening the door with a blank expression and arms crossed against your chest.

“What.” You coldly asked him, making Izuku freeze up. He was in a lot of trouble and he deserved it.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say. No matter what he could say, what excuse he would muster up, none of it would matter because he messed up. Big time. So instead of giving you a big explanation on his side of the story, he just could tell you that he was sorry. But even that didn’t have any effect on you. You tapped your finger against your forearm, the frown on your face just getting deeper. You were piercing daggers at him, making him unable to do anything else.

“Hm.” You hummed, not acknowledging or accepting his apology. “You left me.” You started.

“I did.”

“Alone.”

“I know.”

“Why did you bring me if you just wanted to hang out with your friends?” you questioned, still not understanding why he did that. And truth be told, he didn’t know why either. It just happened, he guessed. But if he said that, he knew that wasn’t a good enough excuse. And you knew that too. But even if it was just an honest mistake, you wanted to stay mad at him.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again. You could see in his face and the way that he was acting that he was truly sorry. “I promise, it’ll never happen again.”

“Promise?” you asked to make sure you heard correctly. You weren’t forgiving him. Oh, no. Not just yet. But, as long as he doesn’t ditch you for his new friends again like that, then maybe you would get over it someday. He nods his head frantically and sticks his pinky finger out.

“Swear,” he interlocks your pinkies together and presses your thumbs together to seal the deal.

“Fine,” you huffed and looked away with one of your cheeks puffed out. He made the promise. A pinky promise that he couldn’t leave you hanging ever again.

What a lie that was.

“Deku! You want to get ice cream after school?” you called him, already excited to eat your favorite dessert.

“Ah, sorry (y/n). Not today. I have training with All Might today after school. Maybe next time!”

“Hey, Deku! My mom asked if you wanted to come over for dinner.”

“I’m a little busy tonight. Tell your mom that I said sorry and that I’ll join next time!” he apologized, hanging up rather quickly. No goodbye, see you later, or hope you’re doing good. Nothing. You sighed and went downstairs to tell your mom the news but you weren’t very happy. But you remembered that he’s not the Deku you used to know. He was training to become a hero, he was always going to be busy. You just weren’t used to this. But you can’t help but be disappointed and scared that you were losing your best friend.

“Dekuu, I already have the movie set up. Are you almost here?”

“Today’s Friday already? I forgot to tell you that All Might wanted to meet up for extra training.”

“Again?” you could hear the disappointment in your voice.

“I know, I’m sorry. Maybe-”

“Next time?” you finished his sentence, already knowing what he was going to say. This happens so often that you were already anticipating his answer.

“Yeah,” he breathed, not knowing what else to say.

“Sure,” you say. Soon after, the call ended and you just ended up watching the movie alone. Drink and popcorn in hand, eating away your sorrows and feelings of being abandoned by your one and only true friend.

But he wasn’t your only friend, was he? You paused the movie and picked up the phone again.

“Hello?” you heard that familiar, happy voice. You could already imagine his face right now.

“Are you busy right now?” you asked to make sure that he wasn’t training also.

“Not at the moment. What’s up?”

“Do you want to watch a movie together?”

Calls started getting shorter. Texts stopped being answered. And you stopped caring. It was the same excuse every time and you ran out of patience. If he wasn’t going to try in your friendship, then you weren’t either. It was until one day that he showed up at your door.

You were standing against the door frame with your arms crossed and a clearly pissed off expression while Izuku was there standing frail and hunched over. Hm, seems like a familiar sight. You waited for him to speak up because you weren’t going to put in more effort than you should to make this friendship work.

“I’m sorry,” again with the apology. You were tired of hearing that word. The more he said it, the less meaning it has behind it.

“You promised,” you said, almost bursting in tears with how much emotion you were holding in that it surprised you. But you kept yourself calm and composed, controlling your breathing so that you don’t break down you barriers.

“I know. I know, but I’m here to make it up to you. Your birthday is coming up. Let me take you out for the day. We’ll spend the whole day together. Just you and me. I won’t leave or ditch you or make up any excuses. You have me all to yourself. How does that sound?” he offered you his best option on trying to save his mess up. It was tempting. It really was. Part of you wanted to say no because you felt so hurt over the last couple of weeks because of him. But part of you wants to feel that joy and happiness again. The joy and happiness that only Izuku could give you because he was your everything.

“You’ll plan the whole day?”

“The whole day. You don’t have to worry about a thing,” he said, still hopeful that you’ll agree. And how could you not. You’ll give him one more chance.

“Fine. But I’m dressing up so you should match me,” you told him, still having your angry face on but let’s be honest, inside you were feeling the butterflies and were so eager for your birthday to come.

You were dressed in your cutest clothes, your hair and makeup to match. The day was finally here. You and Deku could finally catch up and just hang out like you used to. It was going to be a good day, you could feel it.

You arrived at the meeting place Deku wrote down for you. He said to be there at noon sharp because he had a surprise for you. You smiled and waited on a bench that was nearby. You wonder what it could be.

10 minutes rolled by. Maybe he was running a bit late. But a text at least would be nice.

Then 30 minutes. Maybe he missed the train?

1 hour. Maybe he forgot where you were supposed to meet? Or what if he’s here and he just hasn’t found you yet? You looked around but there were very little people here. If he were here, he should have seen you by now or you would have spotted him instantly.

2 hours.

3 hours.

You knew it. You were so stupid to think to actually trust him again. All emotion vanished from your body, feeling numb all over. You couldn’t even shed a tear. He told you to come out, that he planned something for your birthday and he’s the one not to show. Classy. The train ride and the walk home were slow. Painfully slow. You watched as every tree, bush, landscape and greenery passed you. The birds were in full song. The streets were busy with people, laughing and smiling. While you were here, completely emotionless. You didn’t deserve this. Even if you did, you wished it was through some other way. Closing the door gently to your front door, you made the announcement to your family that you were home.

“(y/n)? Home already?” your mom called from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” you sighed, not giving her any details and feeling emotionally drained. “I’ll be upstairs. Don’t check up on me and I’m not eating dinner today.” You told your mom, her catching your strange behavior right away and that worried her.

“But I’m making your favorite. You okay, honey?” your mom came out of the kitchen to ask you. But you had already disappeared into your room, locking it and putting headphones in so you weren’t disturbed. You were going to keep yourself distracted all day to drown out of your own thoughts.

Even though it was a weekend, Kirishima still decided to visit the school to strengthen his quirk with the help of Aizawa-sensei. He was passing the school gates, about to enter into the building when out of the corner of his eye, he saw something green flash in the woods area of campus. Curious, thinking that it couldn’t be him, he decided to check it out and see with his own two eyes.

Kirishima got close enough to just get a glimpse but his gut feeling was right. There was Izuku Midoriya, practicing on controlling his quirk without breaking all of his bones. All Might was there to guide him too. What day was it again? Wasn’t it your birthday? And didn’t you have plans with Izuku? So if he’s here, then…

The realization hit him like a brick. Forgetting about his practice with Aizawa, he would apologize later, he ran as fast to you, making a few pitstops on the way.

“(y/n),” your mother came in your room, using a spare key to unlock your door. You were laying on your bed, streaks of tears stained your cheeks and your eyes were red from crying. Your headphones were placed tightly on your ears, music playing loud enough to make you forget about your surroundings. But your mother ruined the atmosphere when she barged in your room after you said that you wanted to be alone.

“Mom, I said I didn’t want to eat dinner,” you reminded her, pausing your music for a split second to tell her that. You were about to play that blaring music once again but your mom had to say something else.

“I know. But there’s someone at the door for you,” she told you quickly before you could push her out again. You froze. Someone was at the door for you? Was Izuku finally here and to apologize again? Ready to confront him and take all your anger out, you stormed out of your room and to the front door. You opened the door, ready to release all hell but you stopped yourself when you saw that it wasn’t Izuku waiting for you.

“Kirishima?” you were confused why he was here right now. “What are you-”

“I come bringing gifts,” he holds up a bouquet of flowers and a basket full of your favorite things. “Thought you might be needing a friend right now.” And you teared up when you heard that. You bit your lip and nodded your head, letting him inside. You brought him to your room, avoiding the looks you were getting from your family members. As soon as you closed the door to your room, Kirishima drops everything in his hands and pulls you in for a tight and comforting hug. The sudden act made you gasp in surprise.

“Are you okay?” he whispered into your hair, his hand covering your head protectively. You wanted to lie to him, saying that you were alright but he could see right through you. Especially with your appearance now. So you shook your head and buried your face into his shoulder, hugging him back just as tightly. You stayed in that position for quite a while, just basking in each other’s presence. It was like he was trying to give you some of his happiness and take away some of your misery to help you feel a little bit better. And it was working. You felt calm enough to at least have a conversation with him.

“Kiri, you didn’t have to do this,” you tell him, pushing away from the hug slightly.

“It’s your birthday,” he commented. You wished it wasn’t your birthday. Because of this experience, you were going to think about it every birthday, ruining the celebration.

“It’s just a birthday,” you brushed it off like it didn’t hurt. Kirishima frowns at your response.

“I know how excited you were to spend this day with him,” ouch. It’s like reopening a fresh wound that hadn’t fully healed. “So I’ll spend it with you. We can do whatever you want. Watch a movie, just lay down and chill, or… I can take you out on a date to distract yourself.” He hesitated to say that last part and a light blush appeared on his cheeks.

“A date?”

“It doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be. Just forget I said that. We can go out, not like go out go out but like go outside and do an activity for the rest of the day, if you’d like,” he went on a rant, the blush on his cheeks growing deeper with each word he said. You thought about it. The flowers. The gift basket. Going out of his way to make time for you on your birthday. This was the guy you needed in your life. Not Deku. Not someone who ignores you or doesn’t keep his promises. You didn’t him. You looked a Kirishima. He was a good guy. He was sweet, thoughtful, sincere. Maybe you would give him a shot.

The final bell rang in the 1-A classroom. Students were packing up their stuff, some staying behind and chatting about their training and how much they improved. While his classmates were indulging in their conversations, he was blowing up his phone with text messages to you. You weren’t responding to his calls or texts. He was doing everything he could to reach you, but you didn’t seem to be available. He was so concentrated on his phone that he didn’t see a certain red-head trying to sprint out the door.

“Woah, Kirishima. Where you going in such a hurry?” Kaminari stops him before he’s out the door. It wasn’t like Kirishima to leave immediately after the bell rings. He’s usually with his best friend Bakugou or hanging around until everyone leaves together.

“I’m going to pick up my girlfriend from her school,” he announces, grabbing the whole class’s attention.

“So you finally started dating (y/n), huh?” Sero congratulated him with a pat on the back.

“It’s about time,” Bakugou grumbled. He had to deal with Kirishima’s constant talking about you every day to the point where he wanted to strangle him to stop talking. But he was proud of his friend. Upon hearing your name, Deku shoots his head up and listens in on the conversation.

“Yeah, and I’m going to give her all the attention that she needs and more. Because she deserves it,” Kirishima said a little louder, taking a stab at Deku. Deku swallowed the lump in his throat. No matter how much he would apologize, it was already too late. You had already replaced him with someone else.

#deku x reader #midoriya izuku #deku imagine #midoriya imagine #kirishima x reader #Kirishima Eijirou #kirishima imagine #bnha midoriya #bnha deku #bnha kirishima #bnha imagines #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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