#i’m going to have to rant about some of our other conversations specifically the one last night bc its bothering me sm 😭😭

[secretmellowblog]

So much internet analysis of media feels like……. if people were trying to criticize Chick-Fil-A, but refused to talk about anything other than the quality of the sandwiches. All that mattered was whether the product was good. So people just debated endlessly over whether the products were Good or not, and no one discussed how Chick-Fil-A donated to conservative homophobic hate groups.

“Is this Disney product Good and does it have good gay representation?” Does Disney still donate to homophobic republican politicans!!!??? Do they still actively censor any queer content during production, cancelling gay projects and actively forcing their writers to cut gay content, to the point where every sad scrap that makes it onscreen is a miracle? Can you meaningfully make any statements about “gay rep at Disney” without bringing in that larger context?

It’s not a perfect analogy— because art shouldn’t be a product, and a movie is theoretically trying to Say something in a way that a sandwich is not. But Idk I feel like the reason we fixate so much on media analysis is because it is Fun. It is fun to talk about lord of the rings and the owl house and Steven universe. It is not fun to talk about the horror and exploitation that is baked into the “entertainment industry;” it’s not fun to research and analyze the systems that created the horrifically expensive movies you love.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because amazon is releasing the most expensive tv series ever made, a spin-off series based on lord of the rings. I have no interest in watching it despite my lifelong love of lotr but the thing is—

I have no doubt the series will be good! It will be fine. Lots of money has been thrown into it, and I have enough friends in the entertainment industry to know that on every massive corporate product there are hundreds of writers and artists sincerely trying their best to create good meaningful art. The Amazon series will be Fine. It will be good.

But my question is: Does it being good actually matter? Does it matter if a chick-Fil-a sandwich is good? Does it matter if this vile evil horrible media monopoly run by a villainous CEO that works its employees to death creates a good product?

I feel like I’m going crazy when most of the criticism of Amazon’s lotr is conservatives and people who act like conservatives ranting on about how “I can’t believe they gave Blorbo GenericElf a personality! That’s so out of character—he didn’t have a personality in the book! Tolkien, our lord and savior who we must worship as an authority, would be infuriated (because we still are bound to submit to this dead guy’s opinion apparently!) Everything would be better if everything stayed exactly as it was in the past, in the Sacred Original Canon. Any attempt to transform Tolkien’s work is morally reprehensible and a sign of the fall of the civilization.”

Sometimes I just want to shake those people and say “PEOPLE ARE DYING! people are dying in Amazon warehouses, and you’re treating your petty fandom opinion about blorbo genericelf’s personality as if it has this laughably enormous moral weight.”

I know that’s unkind, and that people can care about more than one thing; but I don’t know. I used to have this really naive idea that adaptations were a conversation with the original work, and every reinterpretation was a beautiful addition of meaning. I still believe that on some level. I think every author should be free to reinterpret stories however they want, should be able to argue with the original author and set their work on fire if they need to. there’s a lot about Tolkien’s work specifically that deserves to be disrespected, like his vicious racism and sexism. I LOVE transformative work—especially transformative work that meaningfully argues with the original author.

But like….you really can’t talk about these big media franchises without talking about the systems that created them.

Yes, people can sometimes create great beautiful sincere emotional art within these exploitative systems! I love the original lotr films and books. The new Amazon series is so expensive that it will be perfectly Fine.

But creating good art doesn’t change the fact that these giant media monopolies do so much real, constant, tangible harm. Warner Brothers caused massive harm to New Zealand while making the lotr/hobbit films, essentially strong arming the country’s government into changing their film industry laws to benefit massive foreign corporations. And Amazon is a vicious violent exploitative mega monopoly that is literally overworking its underpaid employees until it kills them.

It’s hard because I believe that good art can be very meaningful to people, and that media analysis can be important and valuable.

Its just that— not to swing a bat at a hornet’s nest— sometimes I wish people would stop hyperbolizing about how [petty fandom opinion] will cause lasting harm to the world, while not engaging with the things about the media property that are causing immediate tangible physical objective harm.

#idk if this is coherent but yee #;-;;;; #anyway thank you for reading! i know I haven’t been active here lately #i just wanted to throw this out there before anyone asked me about rings of power #I’ve just become so disillusioned by the entertainment industry and the active tangible harm these giant franchises cause #that I just . don’t #XD #like it’s probably good! it’s probably a good fine show #and lots of marvel movies are good! #and I found meaning in the original lotr trilogy #but I don’t know #i kinda just. am disgusted with the way these mega franchises work #and the way the entertainment industry works #it’s the ‘art school student with entertainment industry friends’ life lol #but yee #anyway I’ve been inactive here but I’m back to be sad about stuff again XD

[utilitycaster]

The wildest part about the reaction to Ashton’s comment is that Laudna herself didn’t even seem to take it personally? Her reaction to it seemed more like “ok that’s not true and I’m going to push back on it, but you’re clearly having a self destructive dark night of the soul and I want to make sure you’re okay”. Like give our girl a little more credit here.

Hey anon,

Hope you don't mind but you are getting a heavily edited and more measured part of the threatened rant because like. Yeah. That's the thing isn't it? Laudna is the one who sought out Ashton while they were drinking. And when he slips into self-pity, she tells him to snap out of it, but she's not mad. I happen to agree with this meta that Ashton isn't saying "I know loneliness and you don't"; they're saying "I know the very specific loneliness of not knowing where I came from". (I also think there's a possibility that they're saying "I know the loneliness that comes from knowing the people who weren't there when you came back to life could have been and chose not to"; it's not that Laudna didn't wake up alone the first time, it's that she was alone because everyone else was dead whereas the Nobodies could have chosen to stick by them and did not.) And then, the next day, he apologizes (something Imogen does not do), and she tells him not to be too hard on himself.

Laudna clearly looks on this conversation positively. She even brings it up when she talks with Imogen in that manner - she doesn't say "wow can you believe what that asshole said?" but rather focuses on Ashton's compliment to her. I mean, it's nothing new, for people to carefully ignore any context that might more sympathetically frame a character they hate, or to defend how perfect and traumatized their Mary Sue-ass interpretation of a female character is in such a way that it denies the actual agency and emotions of that character as portrayed on screen, but it's just as stupid every time, as is the constant insistence that the best way to have a ship is to isolate two characters such that they only have each other, that they're the only ones who can ever truly understand each other.

You know, I've seen people draw parallels between Laudna telling Imogen the choice is up to her regarding how they proceed tomorrow, and Imogen telling Laudna that the choice was up to her during her resurrection. And here's the thing: Imogen's appeal to Laudna during the resurrection failed. The goal of bringing Laudna back succeeded, but Imogen's specific attempt was a minor hindrance, not a help.

I can't help but wonder if Laudna leaving things to Imogen might end up the same; that they keep going on, together, but these hairline fractures keep building up and never healing, and perhaps one day there will be too many.

Shippers keep saying this is so beautiful because it's about giving each other choices when they've never had any, but that's patently untrue. Laudna had no choice in Delilah, but really, given how normal people even in small towns like Heartmoor Hamlet have been towards her, or the fact that she's not significantly weirder than Weva Vudol, or the fact that every shopkeeper in Exandria is, canonically, fucking bananas, there's a lot she could have done in those 30 years. I mean, she somehow made it to Gelvaan which is not exactly something you fall into from Tal'Dorei without making some kind of decision. Imogen had no choice in her powers but otherwise she's had no shortage of choices. In fact, that's quite literally what Laudna is saying: Imogen always had the option of going to live in a cottage and raise horses. Imogen has always had choices, and doesn't need to kill the gods to free herself.

For that matter, could you not draw a similar parallel between Laudna's transformation at the hands of Delilah without her choosing, and Ashton, who was part of a ritual as a young child below any reasonable age of consent that permanently changed them physically? Or FCG, who was quite literally programmed to be who they are? If you take off the shipper goggles and actually remember that there are five other characters, suddenly these parallels become far more widespread.

But also: here's the thing about leaving all the choices up to the other person. It protects you from the possibility that they might say no to you. It reframes things: had Laudna not been successfully resurrected, she's not saying no to Imogen; she's making her own choice, even though the result is the same. If Imogen goes with Otohan now, well, then Laudna can tell herself that it was Imogen's choice to side with the woman who murdered her, but at least she has the thin comfort that Imogen didn't exactly say "no" to a direct appeal; that it's merely an implied rather than explicit betrayal.

It's just...I know this campaign is a little weird in that this massive world-ending event is happening comparatively early; but also, Imogen and Laudna have known each other for two years. And obviously Imogen isn't Vex, she isn't Vax, she isn't Fjord, she isn't Beau or Yasha, but like, you know what all of those people did when they were facing a dangerous situation and thought death was imminent? They, through word or action, looked at the person they loved and didn't just say "I love you", they said "I'm in love with you", "can I kiss you," or opened the door naked. They said "I might die tomorrow and I cannot go forward without telling you that this is something more than just friendship to me," knowing that it was possible that, on the last night of their life, the person they loved might turn them down. Hell, Keyleth did initially turn Vax down, and he still did it.

Imogen and Laudna? They spent the night the same way they might have at the very beginning of the campaign - before the campaign, even. Laudna said she loved Imogen in what, episode 6? They've been sharing rooms and beds for two years. Nothing has changed in their relationship. And it is my suspicion that nothing will, until one of them actually asks something of the other. And again - that's all it will take for me to go from "this is boring and empty" to "ok, this is a ship" - for them to be able to take a risk.

I could quite honestly go on but like...this reply, which I got shortly after Laudna's death (when I said there was value in a story in which she remains dead) has haunted me since.

It really explains everything, doesn't it? It's why people were mad when I said it was valid for Imogen to be upset at Laudna about the gnarlrock; it's why they were mad that I said that there was no canonical basis for the people of Gelvaan or Relvin mistreating Imogen (in fact, it outright contradicts what we've seen in canon); it's why they hate Ashton right now. It's why if Imogen is interested in the gnarlrock as a way to find relief from her powers and gets mad at Laudna for breaking it, she sucks, but if Imogen considers starting the apocalypse to find relief from her powers it's totally fine. It's why they'll harass people for saying "you know, it could be an interesting story if Laudna dies permanently," and then turn around and offer more sympathy to Otohan - the character who would have been responsible for that permanent death - than they do to Orym, the character who has lost two family members and nearly his own life to her. Because Otohan might have murdered Laudna, but damn, at least she seems to ship it.

They don't see Imogen and Laudna as separate characters who can grow and change - they don't even refer to Laudna as her own fucking name, just as part of a portmanteau - and they are terrified whenever the two have even the slightest conflict (not unlike Imogen and Laudna themselves) because it means that the characters interact with people other than each other. Laudna dying permanently isn't a character death to them - it's "throwing [the ship] away." Laudna having other conversations and relationships is a threat to the ship, even if Laudna enjoys it - in fact, especially if Laudna enjoys it. Other people coming into Imogen's dreams with the express purpose of helping her is a threat. Because if either of the characters ever realize that this codependency isn't serving them, and that they have other people who will stand by them and won't leave them to their loneliness...well. The constant reassurances that they have each other might no longer be enough if they have other people.

That's why the shippers are mad at Ashton. Yes, because it's a possible competing ship; but also because they pointed out that Laudna had six people by her when she woke up, not just one, and that opens the door to Laudna realizing she has other people who will stand by her, and who aren't openly and repeatedly entertaining an alliance with her murderer. They do not actually give a shit about how Laudna feels.

#answered #Anonymous #long post #critical role #critical role spoilers #me @ laudna: girl your security blanket is full of asbestos fibers #anyway for those wanting more rants in this vein please feel free to ask me why this is not comparable to caleb and veth's relationship #or uh. really anything about why it's like. not good or interesting as a ship

[incorrect-spideytorch]

Hey I’ve had a bad day :(

here’s a free invitation to rant about anything Spideytorch —> 💌

I’m sorry you had a bad day but I am very excited about this invitation!

~

I have decided to rant about this panel and the trauma our boys got from it

so Red Skull is out here being a villain and uses mind control to f**k with the heroes and we get to this moment where Red Skull is like wow you two are super close gay for each other so I’m gonna make one of you watch the other die and I’m going to use mind control to do it which is so incredibly twisted

like Peter is hearing his best friend the love of his life say (against his will) that he is going to make Peter watch as he end his life. I cannot imagine how terrifying it is to hear the voice of the man you love say that and to know that neither of you have any control

then we get to the Johnny side of things. Johnny had had his free will taken away from him and Red Skull is trying to use that to not only end his life but do so to hurt Peter by making him watch! I am also a winterhawk shipper (Clint Barton x Bucky Barnes) and a lot of fics for that ship talk about their shared trauma of losing free will and not having control over yourself (Loki and Hydra for them) and how much that messes you up, Johnny is dealing with this!! sure it’s not lasting as long and it’s a different situation but my boy is still going through that and he is being used as a weapon to his lover and himself it makes me wanna scream

obviously they’re superheroes and all of this shit with Red Skulk gets resolved but the trauma of this situation I don’t think gets talked about enough in the fandom, specifically spideytorch shippers like this is great angsty fic fodder,

so here’s some of my angsty thoughts about what happens after

Johnny wakes up panicked and holding his head every night for weeks convinced Red Skull is still in there

when the nightmares got really bad Peter had to hold Johnny down so he didn���t try to harm himself in an attempt to get Red Skull out of his head

neither of them feel safe when Johnny has anything that could even remotely be used as a weapon

Johnny avoids the kitchen cause all he sees is ways that Red Skulk can kill him in front of Peter

Peter had an anxiety attack when Johnny was sitting on the roof with him because he could only hear mind controlled Johnny saying he would make Peter watch him die and pictured Johnny falling

they develop code phrases and questions to ask to reassure each other that the other isn’t mind controlled

for at least a year after anytime Johnnys voice sounds different, even if it’s just cause of a cold Peter gets nervous and demands a code phrase

to be honest they spend a lot of days right after the Red Skull incident together on the couch eating takeout and cuddling with minimal conversation

it takes a while for Johnny to trust his own mind and body again afterwards and Peter doesn’t know how to fix that which is really frustrating for him

when Johnny feels out of control he doesn’t want Peter nearby because he doesn’t want Peter to have to watch whatever might happen next

of course Peter can’t bare to leave Johnny so they had to develop a solution for that

Peter will sit around the corner or on the other side of a door so he can still be there but not see Johnny, it’s a weird loophole but it works for them

they do a lot of forehead touches after this

so many forehead touches

thank you again anon for your ask and for permission to rant! I hope this made your day better, even though it was a bit on the angstier side. if you want something fluffier just send another ask my way

EDIT: someone in the tags mentioned that Peter’s spidey senses are going off even though he’s not the one in physical danger and I will be screaming for the next 8 years

#spideytorch #answering my asks #johnny storm #peter parker #red skull #peter x johnny #peter parker x johnny storm #mine :) #my favorites #headcanon #marvel #comics

[sweetingtea]

I posted this on my Instagram story and I just thought everyone should know.

CW: suicide talk, gay talk, serious talk (I hate being /s I’d rather be /j 😒)

“OMG!! tHiNk Of ThE cHiLdReN😭😩😩”

This is starting to feel more of an excuse than a reason to hate on this specific topic. This movie HEAVILY implies SUICIDE (which, personally, I don’t think is a bad thing for the movie) and you are worried about two men kissing being too much for your kid?

This is literally:

“I can condone a person feeling like they’re just no longer an important member of society so they think the best option is to kill themself���BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT TWO BEAUTIFUL MEN EXPRESSING THEIR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER.”

Honestly, get over yourself if you really think like this.

You see two men being disgusting.

I see two humans loving each other.

We are not the same :)

I’m not asking for them to like the movie, everyone has their preferences, but to just move on and find something more of their style. THEY GOT A LOT OF THOSE. This movie was made specifically for people like me, like the LGBTQ+; to dig deep into our brains and to help people metaphorically understand what we go through and what others actions could result into us feeling/doing just because we choose to be what makes US happy. No need to post something like that as like a “warning”.

It’s like this: I don’t like “Never Have I Ever” (on Netflix btw!!)

It is not bad by any means! Some of the little snip-bits I see on TikTok are pretty cool and funny but when I tried to watch it, I just couldn’t get into it; not my taste. Yet, you don’t see me going around the internet warning people about it’s contents because it may have some things I don’t like or agree with or I think is stupid, doesn’t mean it’s bad, just means it’s not FOR ME.

And I moved on.

Simple as that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’t try to ruin something for everyone else just because you don’t like it.

One, that’s a horrible way to live; two, you are probably not fun at parties :/

—(you can ignore this part if you want, I’m just ranting on at this point)—

Also, back to the “cHiLdReN😩” thing…

They don’t care.

Nope, don’t give a shit.

Unless you make them give a shit.

I am no parent to any child at all, but I was raised by my mutter (❤️) who let me make my own decisions, gave her opinion and left it at that with no fight whatsoever. Sometimes, she was even right when it came to my options. Even if she didn’t get it, she would always TRY to understand.

Let me give you an example:

I technically don’t care what pronouns I am called, but for legal reasons, I am a she/her female outside the internet. My mutter, who grew up with womanhood back in the day (millennials 🙄/j), was told that women should always shave their legs. So, I was too.

Me though? I ignored that part when I grew into my teenage years. I started shaving when I wanted to (which isn’t often tbh) and only when I wanted to. Not when other people thought I should, it was when I thought I should that mattered to me.

My mutter? Didn’t get it at first.

When I walked around with my leg hair out, she would start asking me when I planned on shaving; I would shrug and say, “probably soon.”

That would end up with me basically forgetting my leg hair existed. My grandma is the one who really doesn’t let that shit slide and has “threatened” to hold me down and let her do it, but I’m like: “stfu, not one gosh-diddly-darn soul asked for your fucking opinion, Susan 😐 and that’s really fucking weird”.

Honestly, after that first conversation, I was getting something from the kitchen when my mutter got out of her bed, walked up to me and asked: “Are you not shaving because you’re lazy or because you really don’t want to?”

I told her the truth, “I shave when I want to, ma.”

She takes that truth with her for the rest of her days.

My grandma still doesn’t like it; continues to remind me that people won’t accept me for it. However, I like to think my mutter has proved her wrong.

Now a days, I got my mom protecting me from it: “It’s her choice, it’s her decision, can’t you leave it at that?” She told my grandma (her mom) one day in the car. I’ve never smiled so wide. Over fucking leg hair, though, can you believe it?

My grandma still likes to complain anyway (she loves me, I swear, she’s just a tough cookie, and a boomer) but the more she does it, the more I laugh and we just move on.

Do you see what I’m getting at here?

You influence your kids.

But they are kids, they usually grow up thinking that their beloved parents are always right. They don’t know any better, until they grow up. Whether they choose to go down that path of hate you taught them or if they decide to expand their knowledge and UNDERSTAND what is going on with others heads is their choice and their choice alone. (I honestly encourage the latter, but, whatever floats the boat I guess.)

———

The Nimona movie is perfect. You don’t have to like it but it has reached into other peoples hearts, gave it a hug, saying “I understand you, you are not the only one, you are loved, you are safe with us, you are not alone.” At least give credit where credit is due. It sends out an important message for people who hate who they are to not hate who they are and to embrace the beauty within them. Show off the beauty and to never hide it just because of what others think.

Please don’t discourage others to not watch this movie.

Please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASEEE show this to every person in the universe who needs to hear Nimona’s message. 😭🙏🏻

———

Lmao I’m done.

Holy shit, what a ride.

But, yeah, f🦆k the dude in the pic, watch Nimona 🦏💕

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #ambrosius x ballister #nimona ballister #nimona ambrosius #twitter #netflix nimona #netflix #i am so sorry #it was never meant to be this long #but then i got too deep in my head #my adhd decided to come out to play #and here we are #now… #enjoy some criticism from someone with awful pictures and their head up their ass :)) #because it hurt to read that tweet 😟 #ill shut up now im sorry #sweetingtea: nimona

[strandbuckley]

My Bloody Valentine

For the @tarlosweeklyprompts Valentine's Day Fic Exchange

Gift for @noxsoulmate

“Well that was eventful,” Carlos said as he slid the loft door shut behind them, clicking the lock into place. 

“That’s an understatement babe,” TK chuckled, kicking off his shoes and moving into the living room. “I just wish we could have one normal date. I’m sorry our plans got ruined.”

“It’s not your fault baby. Why don’t you go grab a shower? I’m gonna set the alarm and then I’ll join you.”

TK looked down at himself and cringed. He’d been able to clean most of the blood off his hands and arms before leaving the restaurant, but his shirt looked like a lost cause. 

“At least it’s not my blood this time?”

“I’d prefer you not have any blood on you. I’ll soak that shirt before we go to bed, and see if I can save it.”

“Don’t worry about it, babe. They make a thousand just like it every day.”

TK stripped in the bedroom, throwing his ruined shirt in the trash and depositing the rest of his clothes in the hamper. Their date had already been ruined, he didn’t want Carlos to get more upset by the site of his clothes strewn across the bedroom floor. He turned the shower on and sat on the closed toilet lid, placing his head in his hands.

He was starting to be convinced they would never have a regular date. Natural disasters, emergencies, and other out-of-this-world occurrences had often interrupted their plans. He had hoped that the universe might be on their side for their first wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, he wasn’t that lucky. 

They’d scheduled their anniversary date months ago, knowing it fell on the weekend before Valentine's Day. Even in October, tables for the restaurant Carlos had chosen were filling up fast and he was lucky to get a reservation for them. They’d made sure to take off work well in advance, planning for their night. Carlos wanted everything to be perfect. TK couldn’t help but think about what people said about best-laid plans. 

In the beginning, everything had gone smoothly. They’d ordered drinks, Carlos specifically choosing a place with good mocktails and alcohol-free wine, which was much better than TK expected it to be. They held hands across the table as they swapped stories about their shifts from the week and Carlos didn’t roll his eyes like he usually did when TK reached across to steal some of whatever was on his plate. It wasn’t until they put in their desert orders that everything went to hell. They had been keeping a sneaky side-eye on the couple next to them. They’d been arguing quietly for most of their dinner and the two of them had been making up a backstory for them like they were soap-opera characters, trying to figure out what the problem was between them. 

The guy was twitchy, hands going to his pocket, then moving abruptly. The fifth time he bumped the table on the way back up, his girlfriend snarled at him, asking what the hell his problem was. The guy had stood on trembling legs, pulled a box out of his pocket in got down on one knee. 

Carlos cringed, squeezing TK’s hand. “I’m so glad you didn’t propose to me in public,” he whispered. 

“I learned my lesson the first time,” TK whispered back. 

Carlos made a sympathetic face but ultimately turned back to the trainwreck happening not ten feet from them. TK did the same, just in time to see the girl grab her wine and throw it in his face. He cringed, watching as the disaster continued to unfold. She began ranting about how she couldn’t believe him, that he thought a proposal would fix everything. TK found himself not being able to look away as she continued to rant. He couldn’t get the full gist of the conversation other than they never stopped fighting (which TK believed wholeheartedly) and she’d come here tonight to let him down easy. 

That right there was the true breaking point. The guy had lost it, flinging the ring somewhere across the room and beginning a rant of his own. He and Carlos watched the two of them go back and forth, heads bobbing like they were watching a tennis match. Then the man picked up his steak knife.

TK felt a bit like he’d blacked out. One minute he was watching the weirdest argument of his life and the next he was on his knees trying to stop the girl from bleeding out while Carlos restrained her boyfriend. 

TK snagged one of the cloth napkins, wadding it up in his hand and applying as much pressure as possible.

“Someone call 911!” he shouted, whipping his head frantically. 

A member of the restaurant staff approached him with a first-aid kit, kneeling next to him, “Ambulance is on the way. I have dispatch on the line.”

“Dispatch this is TK Strand, paramedic 126. I have a female with a knife wound to the neck, I think there’s damage to the carotid.”

“TK?”

“Grace Ryder, I have never been so happy to hear your voice.”

“EMS is about five minutes out TK.”

“I don’t think she has that long Gracie,” TK said worriedly. “I’ve got pressure on the wound but it’s still a lot of blood.”

“Can you get her vitals?”

“No, I’ve sort of got my hands full. Hang on. Carlos!,” he shouted to where his husband was handing off the boyfriend to the cops.

He jogged over, dropping to his knees next to him, “What do you need me to do?”

“Please tell me they train you to take a pulse?”

“They train us, doesn’t mean I have a lot of practice.”

“Do your best baby. I just need to know if she has one. Pointer and index finger on the thumb side of her wrist.”

Carlos grabbed her hand as gently as possible, placing his fingers where TK instructed him.

“There’s a pulse but it’s really hard to feel.”

“TK,” Grace’s voice was tinny across the phone speakers. “Do you have any IV fluids?”

“Check the first aid kit,” he instructed the staff member who was still lingering by their side. “Carlos I need you to take over holding pressure for me so I can start an IV.” He made to move his hands but blood began to spurt between his fingers, soaking the front of his shirt. Carlos covered his hands with his own, giving TK an opportunity to pull away before resuming pressure. 

“I’ve got saline.”

“Perfect.” TK snatched the IV bag and tubing offered to him. He did his best to prime it quickly before hanging it on the underside of the table. He did his best to clean her arm with the tiny alcohol swabs provided in the pack. He took a deep breath and let Tommy’s voice fill his brain as he mentally walked himself through the procedure.

“Okay, Grace I have fluids running. And EMS is here,” he breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of sirens and approaching footsteps. 

He stepped away, letting the team from the 105 take over. Carlos placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Let’s get you home and cleaned up.”

That’s how TK found himself in the shower, staring at the tile floor as dark red blood swirled down the drain. He didn’t move as the glass door opened, only shivering slightly as the cool breeze hit his wet body. Carlos stepped in behind him, closing the door and wrapping gentle arms around his waist.

“I’m sorry our date got ruined baby,” TK apologized again, dropping his head back on his husband’s shoulder. 

“TK a man assaulting his girlfriend with a knife is absolutely not your fault. I am so proud of you babe.”

“Why?”

“Because you saved her life. You were calm, you were collected, and seeing you in your element impresses me every time TK.  You’re an amazing fucking paramedic. So our date wasn’t what we planned? We have the rest of forever to make up for one bad anniversary date.”

“I love you,” TK whispered. 

“I love you more.”

TK slept better than he thought he would that night, utterly exhausted from the night’s events. When he woke, the bedroom was still dark (thank god for black-out curtains) but Carlos’s side of the bed had long gone cold. He was shocked by what he found when he padded into the kitchen.

“It looks like Valentine’s Day threw up in here,” TK chuckled, taking the mug of coffee he was offered. 

“Target was a little short on decorations so I improvised.”

“What is all this?”

“This is our anniversary celebration. I figured since our date didn’t work out as planned, we could celebrate here at home. Just the two of us.”

“God I love you.”

“You’ll love me even more when I tell you there are cinnamon rolls in the oven.”

“I’m so glad I married you.”

“Me too babe. Me too.”

#twpvficexhange #tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #my works #911 lone star fic #911 lone star

[darlingletshurttonight]

a long rant that’s apparently controversial

there was this indian dark academia blog i followed here, and respected that person despite not agreeing on some of their views on certain things. i got into a disagreement with them on tumblr about ncert scrapping off chunks of mughal history from textbooks. they mocked that the board would be teaching us about ‘rig veda and nalanda’. i replied with a comment that there’s more to indic civilisation than the vedas. we should be knowing about a lot of our dynasties and some exceptional rulers before the mughals invaded. it is a fair deal to scrap a bit of sucking up to mughal imperialism and talk about those who made india the candy that it was for invaders, why it was such a hotbed for trade that made it the one of the richest countries to exist in the medieval era. these things are not widely known and they should be known. what kind of history only talks about invaders and not the ones who lived here. why can’t we have both in appropriate measures.

they straight up blocked me lol. they replied to my comment after blocking me, so i couldn’t explain my point to anyone else tagging me and making fun of what i said, which they misinterpreted in the first place. they dug up all my older posts, specifically the hindublr tag and mocked the fact that i think hinduphobia is a real thing.

i’m not mad that these people ridiculed me. i don’t care for their wilful ignorance either. they removed any chance of discourse and want to live in their own bubble of ignorance, fine. there can be people who still disagree with me and that’s okay. i wish people would stop resorting to blind hostility and actually try to read what someone is trying to convey.

it bothers me how they think they’re inclusive at the expense of another community. they (them and their followers) pride themselves on their education and liberalism but don’t seem to know the concept of critical thinking, or conversing with someone they disagree with. how do you villify a person for having an opinion different than yours. an opinion that doesn’t oppress anybody or any community. nothing i said was erasing a community or history.

it concerns me that they’re hell bent on thinking india can be a better place by downplaying the role and significance of hinduism and redact its attempted erasure, when it was literally called hindustan. this isn’t a ‘left vs right’ or ‘religion vs. religion’ or ‘govt vs people’ thing. why is it so hard to believe that religious clashes can go both ways. why is it so hard to go beyond ncert textbooks and agenda-driven historians to actually read about our ancient civilisation. you don’t have to be religious for that.

it was appalling that they they would dig up my older posts on this certain topic to have their followers hate on me. i guess i held them at a higher standard.

my only point was that we shouldn’t always ask “how did mughals rule in this country?”

we should also ask “why was india so sought after by other kingdoms and emperors?”

“who all were involved in making this land so prosperous that it attracted people from all over the world?”

“why should we be proud of our ancestors and not consider this a defeatist nation?”

#indian history #needed this off my chest #will probably delete at some point #hinduphobia #hindublr

[winteratdusk]

Totally forgot to share this when I first posted, but chapter 2 of my new fic is now up! Some Steve/Bucky hurt/comfort, as always.

It was November of 1941, the air was bright and clear and cold, and Bucky was starting to feel like he was living at the end of the world. Or, with the world at war, responsibility on his shoulders, and the draft looming closer by the day, Bucky's just trying his best to stay afloat. Drinking seems to help, until it doesn’t.

Main, overarching warning for depictions of unhealthy alcohol use as a coping mechanism. More specific warnings are in the tags and chapter notes, so please be sure to check those as well! Chapter 2 snippet below the cut:

Bucky sat slouched over the bar, staring into the depths of his drink. 

It was a dive bar close to the docks, one Bucky always glanced over his shoulder before entering, afraid Jack or someone else from work might be passing by and see him go in. Since he and Steve had finally gotten over themselves, taking the plunge into the relationship that, to Bucky, had always felt halfway inevitable, they went out dancing a lot less. It was both exhausting and unfair, inviting out girls just to keep up appearances. They now spent more time out at bars like this instead – places where Bucky could run his hand up Steve’s thigh or link their hands together under the table and know that nobody would bat an eye.

There had been a time when Bucky had loved it, the openness they found in these places when everywhere else they had to be so careful. He was enjoying it far less now that he had to spend his evening listening to Steve animatedly talking politics to the shiny-haired boy sitting next to them at the bar, leaving Bucky to either try and fail to keep up or drink in silence.

“It’s bullying, is what it is,” Steve ranted, that familiar bit of Irish starting to creep into his voice. “Hitler thinks he can push everyone in Europe around, just like he’s already been doing to his own people!”

The boy beside him was nodding intensely, dark eyes fixed on Steve’s face. Bucky knocked back the rest of his drink and tried to subtly flag down the bartender.

“Exactly,” the boy agreed. “It’s not about glory or adventure or anything, like other guys keep saying. It’s about justice. We’ve finally got the chance to do something good. You’re joining up, right?”

Bucky saw Steve deflate for a moment before quickly squaring his shoulders again. “Trying. Wouldn’t take me the first time around, but I’m gonna prove them wrong.”

“And you?” 

The boy beside Steve addressed Bucky just as the bartender handed him his next drink. Bucky winced, hoping that neither Steve nor his new friend had caught on to the fact that most of the empty glasses in front of them were Bucky’s already, or that somewhere along the line he’d switched to ordering doubles. 

He wasn’t trying to get drunk, not really — it had just felt so good to loosen up a little, and he could hardly fault himself for not wanting that feeling to stop. 

“Buck?” Steve asked, expectant.

“I, uh… yeah,” Bucky said. “Yeah, I think I will. Just gotta make sure my folks are taken care of first. And I mean, I already signed up for the selective service last summer when they told us we all had to, so…”

Bucky knew it wasn’t the righteous answer Steve’s friend was looking for. He only hoped he was imagining the matching frown echoed on Steve’s face.

Bucky was saved from having to sit through any more of the conversation when someone sat down at the old, out-of-tune piano in the corner of the bar. As the first off-key notes of a drinking song permeated the room, the atmosphere shifted, faraway problems disappearing in favor of current celebration.

Steve’s new friend had turned around, talking to another man on the other end of the bar, and Steve’s eyes were on Bucky again. They were glassy and framed with long eyelashes. Their deep blue looked dark in the low light, and Bucky’s stomach swooped with a sensation like falling as he felt himself leaning towards them, tunneling into them. 

Steve’s lips parted, saying something that could hardly be heard over the raucous music. They were bright pink, glistening with the last sip of his drink, and Bucky wanted so badly to kiss them, to claim those lips for himself. He forced himself to hold back, pressing a hand flat to the sticky surface of the bar beside his drink to keep himself from touching Steve anywhere he could reach. 

#stucky #established steve/bucky #pre-war stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #wwii #1940s #hurt/comfort #angst and hurt/comfort #fic #writing #ao3 #alcohol use tw #addiction themes tw #mind the tags

[schizopositivity]

are there any resources you can share about caring for a loved one who may be going through a psychotic episode?

my little sister (21) is going through something that looks like an episode, but we don’t know for sure since she hasn’t had one before. my parents convinced her to see a psychiatrist, but because she *seems* okay until she starts laughing uncontrollably or doesn’t know where she is or thinks her body is horribly deformed, the first appointment didn’t really go well (as in, my dad didn’t bother talking to the psychiatrist himself and let my sister go to the appointment herself). i haven’t seen her recently, but i have spoken to her and she doesn’t seem like herself.

i’ve found sources about how to help someone with active delusions/hallucinations, but nothing much on care when they are rambling nonsense words or when they *seem* fine but then get set off and start ranting/screaming at others (sometimes obvious triggers, sometimes completely unfounded from an outsider perspective).

i struggle with my own mental health, and bipolar disorder and schizophrenia run in our family. i’m mostly concerned about providing informed care for my visit (she cannot be left alone according the psychiatrist so i will be sleeping in the same room with her).

any advice would be helpful and greatly appreciated <3

I think encouraging her to get regular psychiatric care is the best option. There is only so much you can do as a nonprofessional. For most people who suffer from psychosis, the most impactful and effective treatments are prescription medications and therapy. And those are two things you cannot provide yourself. I'm sure you and your family are aware of this, but if she struggles to open up or tell the truth or even just remember her actions to tell to her psychiatrist, it might be very helpful if you or another one of your family members schedules an appointment with her psychiatrist so that you can tell them things from your perspective.

For trying to help you sister at home, I think just being there for her, to listen, to watch out for, and to be nonjudgmental of her will go a long way. Try to make her comfortable, try to eliminate any known triggers that you can. Try to let her know you are there for her and you will keep her safe. Start an open honest dialogue with her. Ask her if she is aware of her actions, how she feels at the time, if you could do anything to help during those times. Maybe she can tell it's coming before it happens and she can notify you. Maybe she isn't aware at all and would like you to let her know what she did.

Every psychotic person's experiences and needs are different. While general articles and guides can be a helpful start, it's also important to communicate with the person you are caring for and ask them what would be helpful to them specifically. The best time to set up crisis plans, coping skills and other forms of care is when the person is doing well or is at their baseline. So when your sister is not in an episode would be the best time to have these conversations and set up these plans to help.

Also, even though you might not understand what your sister is going through, you can find parts to understand, and go from your own understanding of what might help. For example: a common feeling during psychosis is fear and/or confusion. You could think about times when you are afraid and confused and think about what things might help during those times (like assuring safety, explaining things, etc).

I'm sorry I took so long to reply, I had stuff going on that kinda kept me from doing this. If anything in this situation has since changed feel free to send me another ask and I can try to give some insight into things as they are currently. Or even if you just want to update how things are I'd be happy to hear it.

#psychosis #psychotic episode #caring for someone with psychosis #loved one with psychosis #answered

[cynical-crypt]

so, before i start this rant up, i’d like to thank the proship community for being such a lovely place to be, and i’d like to talk to a very specific anti from afar.

so for some context, i used to be in a friend group, which, in the year or two of reflecting i’d had to myself, i’d realized was HORRIFICALLY TOXIC. before joining that friend group, i was a thick-shelled internet kid who wasn’t scared of anything and cared about everyone. being IN that groupchat? i became an oversensitive, overbearing, terrified, hateful son of a bitch. no thick shell, no compassion, and that was only within a few months of me joining. there are still remnants of what that groupchat did to me! i’m still quick to jump the gun and defend myself even if it was a joke. to this day i can’t tell when someone is pulling my leg or not. out of that whole group there was maybe one good person who i’m still friends with today. they were one of the unlucky ones. so, to put it simply, this group was a clusterfuck of whining, writhing, oversensitive little twitter babies who thought that everything they didn’t like had to be destroyed. they harassed and kicked out every single person who didn’t agree with them until they were all gone. all but me, because i was already in a horrible mental state at the time and at that point i would’ve done anything just to keep having people to talk to. i went along with every pitchfork-n’-flame plan they ever had even if i felt horrible about it and they’d all get angry at me if i hesitated for even a moment. i was dragged into drama that had nothing to do with me and there were no breaks. the specific person i’m going to talk to, who i’ll call SJJ, would constantly vent in the groupchat and start screaming and bitching if nobody replied. SJJ was the “ringleader” of our circus and they were the one that ruined me. in the beginning i thought they were cool and i looked up to them because i thought they were hilarious and were fun to talk to. that was a mistake. they lectured me every time i had an opinion they didn’t like, they forced me into pitchfork harassment parties, everything, up until i broke and became just as whiny and bitchy as them. this went on for a year or so before i finally snapped on them and got kicked out. and, yes, i got kicked out because a fucking 12 year old (not exaggerating) thought they were gonna be all badass and stand up for SJJ, so they pretty much cornered me until the only thing they’d accept is “no, i hate SJJ and don’t want to talk to them,” and that was enough to have me completely banished from the friend group.

skip 2 years, i’ve recovered mostly from the damage that group did to me, and here comes SJJ waltzing into my dms to “apologize.” in that they claimed they had changed, which then proved a few months later to be a complete lie. their dni listed people who are proship. it took me months to finally accept that i thought that way and that i was happier that way, and it took me 2 months to gather the courage to tell them we needed to stop talking to each other permanently so that i’m not invading their space anymore. they then talked down to me as if i were a 4 year old. i told them to stop treating me like a child, which they completely ignored. i tried desperately to have a civil conversation explaining why i’m cutting them off, but of course, they turned it into a shitstorm just like they had with everyone else. after we blocked each other they apparently ran to twitter and exposed my name to literally everybody publicly and then accused me of sending “pedophiles” after them when *RANDOM* people told them to at least blur my name out. they deleted the post but then made a huge thread bitching about how i’m “the worst person on earth.” and as far as i know they also deleted their twitter account. i had nothing to do with the comments and i wasn’t even the first one to find out they were posting about me. that was one of our mutual friends.

so... to SJJ, fuck you, from the very bottom of my heart. you tried to turn me into some kind of zombie for you to send to harass people who didn’t deserve it. you hurt me repeatedly and then were surprised when one day i didn’t bounce back up at your feet like a stupid fuckin puppy again. you ruined people’s lives and you destroyed what will i had left at the beginning of our time together. i don’t know why i ever trusted you. i don’t know why any of us ever trusted you. hell, i don’t know why people still trust you. i don’t know why people still can’t take one look and realize that you’re a narcissist. maybe even YOU don’t realize it. look at how you treated people in the past and how you do now, you’ll realize eventually: you’re the worst kind of person there is. 

there were two paths i could have taken. i could have continued to be a zombie and be abused by you, or i could have taken the opposite in which i am enveloped in a loving, safe community where i can be myself without anyone to try and control me. which did you THINK i was going to choose?

to the proship community, thank you. my time healing from hatred has been nothing short of wonderful and i’m so glad to have a safe space to hang out where i’m not being battered for my differences by people who are supposed to be my “friends.” this place is loving and accepting and i couldn’t ask for a better pocket of tumblr to be in. you’re all awesome.

i know SJJ is suffering. continuing to despise them will change nothing, but it cannot be helped right now. all i can hope is that one day life for them gets better and they do not continue to pour their hatred into other people. nobody deserves what i or any of their other victims went through. SJJ, i’m sorry. i know you’re hurting. you might be a terrible person, to me at least, but if you somehow manage to find this, please know that despite everything i still hold hope that you’ll change, even if that hope is lost on you. it doesn’t matter now.

#proship safe #jay rant #anti discourse #tw abuse #tw toxic friendship #putting those tags just in case #if youve had a similar experience dont be afraid to talk to me about it if you need #long post

[nsk96]

Personal rant

This morning the conversation came up how I’m unhappy about pharmacy school and I said “it’s too late to drop out of pharmacy school but that’s okay because I can use my pharmacist money for therapy”. And my mom was like “you don’t need therapy, all you need is god.”

I said, “I have god and I’m still going insane.” And said “I might as well keep going even if I lose my mind.”

My mom was like “well, at year one of pharmacy school I told you that you can do something else”…..so after manipulating me into going into pharmacy since 2011 back when I got to high school, you think after spending my whole time in high school (+pharmacy tech vocational program) and college working up to getting into pharmacy school, that I’ll suddenly change my mind in 2021? And she wants to say that I’m trying to blame it all on her, as if she didn’t play any part in it (after admitting not too long ago, that she chose this career path for me)

Years of blood sweat and emotional breakdowns, working towards a goal that she made me believe was the only career choice for me, that I would just suddenly change my mind? I had no other option at this point in time except to be a pharmacy tech all my life and spend my free time working a second job. Neck deep in student debt at this point, going back to college to try for a different career would have buried me. I have a bachelor’s in biology but not a useful degree for high earning unless you go to grad school.

She was like “what else did you want to do then?” I’ve told her so many times what I wanted to do. She just didn’t listen because she wanted me to do what she wanted. She didn’t listen then so I don’t know why she thinks she’ll listen now.

Sure she’ll let me talk, but then say I’m wrong and say that she knows better, but also admitted today that she knows nothing about how college works. I told her that I didn’t deserve to pass my classes in undergrad because of grade curves and homework/attendance grades literally saving me in some classes.

And she was like “you haven’t been telling me anything, all you told me is that you passed these classes.” 💀 I always told her every excruciating detail from the exams I failed, classes I had to retake, lecturers I didn’t understand, classes I was about to fail and literally told her back then whenever a homework grade or grade curve saved my overall grade. I even told her how I had difficulty focusing on studying, difficulty getting assignments done, having to pull all nighters three days straight (never went to bed), the emotional breakdowns I’ve had because the goal she had me working towards seemed so far away when ever I came close to failing a class. I told her all of this back then and continue communicating these things to her about my current experience in pharmacy school.

It’s clear that all she hears is “I passed” and everything else just goes out the window. Then she’s surprised when I talk about wanting to drop out or how my mental health has deteriorated so much because of this program and everything around me.

All she sees is that I’m getting through it but refuses to see the damage. Of course, because she doesn’t have to live through it. Doesn’t matter how much I talk about it, but yet she has the audacity to say I don’t communicate.

She has a problem when I walk away from our current conversations about these things. I only walk away now because I realize that talking no longer works.

I’m 27 now and it took the hell of pharmacy school (or at least this specific pharmacy school) for me to break free of her conditioning. Or at least some of it. I still can’t be myself around her and can’t be open about the things I know because she’s so willfully ignorant.

My mom is so bad at listening that I bet if I was to take my own life tomorrow (which I don’t want to) she would be surprised and be one of those people to say they never saw it coming and then advocate for mental health…despite the fact that I’ve been telling her for the past two years, that I wanted to see a therapist and her convincing me that I didn’t need to or that I shouldn’t see one until I get a pharmacist job. But alas, her sense of time is really bad and she’ll think it was only a few months ago. I’ve been bringing this up to her since the beginning of P2 year.

#personal #tw mom mention #pharmacy school adventures #tw suicide mention #not suicidal #tw sui talk #personal rant

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT: Possible Trauma Dumping(?)

I’m sorry y’all I know you’re tired of seeing me but it really really irks me how Thanatos got treated as a child. Mainly because it reminds me so much about the relationship between my own parents and how much I relate to Thanatos so much.

Let me explain, back when I was a little younger and impressionable I used to look up to my parents like they were the best thing ever, nothing and no one could compare to my parents because I truly believed they were the best people on Earth. I loved them so much it hurt, but then they started becoming very distant with me specifically. They left the room when I walked in, their conversations would stop, they would turn off the TV or even turn it up on me, basically do everything in their power to absolutely ignore me or get me to go away. I was so confused around this time because I didn’t think I did anything to them, I was always on my best behavior and I never gave them problems, I would comfort them when they needed it, ask them about their day, defend them, I did it all. Yet their attention was only ever on my younger sister and brother, and don’t get me wrong I love them dearly there’s no doubt about that, but around the time they weren’t the best acting kids cause they were young but my parents had all the patient, love, attention, encouragement, and everything for them. They’d be in the same room as my parents laughing and having a wonderful time before I walked in and “ruined” everything. They loved them, yet they kept complaining about how all of us were terrible kids and how we make everything hard for them, they said more things I’m not going to say but it was mostly pertaining “our” behavior. Around the time that they started sharing their complaints with us I worked even harder to be a good kid, I did everything I was supposed to and worked myself without asking for their help just so I could get their attention. But it would never go to me, just them. My siblings could run all over my parents but if I even cried in front of them they’d be irritated and not want to deal with me.

Anyways, you might be wondering “winnie.. what does your childhood have to do with this LO rant?” and I’ll be happy to ease you of your wonders don’t worry. Basically, the parallel I was trying to show was the fact that Hades moaned and groaned about not being fertile enough for kids and wanting to have children and a family yet the perfect opportunity to actually have a son of your own comes by and he treats him like shit. My parents also moaned and complained about how their children were absolutely horrible spoiled brats that always needed to be punished while ignoring me, the kid who was actually trying for them, I know they’re a little different but you see what I’m trying to say here right? It irks me on how Hades just doesn’t except baby Thanatos even though he was literally like a toddler or something. It was easy to see that Thanatos looked up to you and he wanted so desperately for you to notice him but instead he decided he wasn’t worthy or he wasn’t what he wanted. I think that’s really fucked up, it reminds me of those pro-lifers who remind everyone to adopt babies instead of aborting them but don’t even contribute anything to adopting children of their own. Just because a child is not biologically yours does not mean you should treat them like they’re some sick disease you need to stay away from, he could’ve just went and got someone else to care for Thanatos if he genuinely didn’t believe he would be a good father but instead he exploited Thanatos at a young age and used his impressionable image of him to his advantage. Obviously Thanatos would’ve did anything Hades would say because he was a baby and he genuinely believed Hades was like a father.

One other thing that ticked me off is that it just hits close to home for me. I’m not my dad’s biological daughter and I just found out about it last year (yeah they wanted to keep it a secret from me) but it’s got me thinking that maybe my dad (non biological) doesn’t want to bond with me because he doesn’t see me as a child he has to care for. Like he doesn’t view me as his, I’m someone else’s therefore he isn’t obligated to care for or about me. But the thing with that is my dad is the only man in my life that’s ever been a father for me, not saying we’re close or we bond or anything, but he’s the only thing I have father wise.. there’s no one else except for him. So if he doesn’t want me then no one else will, which is why this chapter hurt me so badly. I saw myself in Thanatos, I felt his frustration, his desperation, his jealousy, his sadness, I felt all of those emotions because that was me once upon a time. Wondering why my father didn’t want to spend time with me, why he would only call for me if he wanted something, why he didn’t want to talk to me, or ask my passions, ask my inspirations, why didn’t he want to form any bond with me. I’m sure Thanatos was the same way since Hades never exactly shared any moments with him, all he was to him was a worker.. he was nothing else, he didn’t see him as worthy, as his or even good enough to care for. And that hurt me because it was sort of a solidifying moment with my thoughts on my own dad, him and Hades are both the same.. They blame you for not reaching out, for not talking to them, for not being your own damn parent. You’re the bad guy, not them and surprisingly they’re the victims too. You kept them hostage in this relationship that they wanted no part of and he felt so obligated to take you, like he had no choice. You’re the reason why he never accepted you and it’s your fault he never wanted you in the first place.

Anyways, I’m sorry I had to get that off my chest.. Honestly, this has to be one of my more emotional rants because I got a little too into at the time. It was really hard for me to write this and honestly, I wrote this on Monday but I took so many mental breaks throughout the week I’m finally getting done with it Friday night. I would also like to apologize if this was like any trauma dumping or anything, I notice that I may do that a lot I’m not sure if anyone can clarify or educate me more on the process I’d be very thankful and I’ll put like a warning just so if anyone wants they can skip this.

#anti lore olympus #lo critical #anti lo #lo hades #lo thanatos

[writers-ex]

Hey, I think I might need your opinion on this, of course only if you’re free to reply to this 🧐

I think one of my irls has a thing for me, her friends sort of told me and I guess she hinted at it a few times but she’s not the sort that makes the first move, is kinda playfully mean to me, is seen and known for her cold exterior, “heartbreaker status” and straightforwardness. She hints me to ask her out to try things she wants to try? I don’t really know how I feel around her except for the fact that I appreciate that her straightforwardness translates to protectiveness for me irl when she doesn’t like the vibes of people I’m conversing with, and that I’m okay with being vulnerable with her because we share similar childhood trauma. What do I do?

Very sincerely asking for your advice as someone who has only recently gained enough confidence to even consider relationships. I kind of just push my feelings away and never act on them and let them die out whilst searching for academic validation, very effective.

Also, since you’ve found me I could very well do a goldfish reveal soon. 🥳

-🦦

heeeeeeeeeeey im so sorry for the late reply i saw this and wanted to answer the same day but life just gets complicated T-T

ok so…. honestly you never know unless you try? like since you said she seems very straightforward and you seem to vibe with each other why not flat out ask her "hey how does (insert day and time) sound? i want take you out on a date" gauging her reaction you could actually go through with something you both are comfortable with or tell her honestly that you feel she's hinting at wanting to do something more with you and you're not sure if she's just being comfortable with you or if she actually wants more and is shy about saying? an honest conversation goes a long way in determining relationships for friends and future partners, just make sure the two of you are alone in a place that makes you comfy like a cafe or walking in the park together idk, have a good long (or short) talk about this and see what happens

my only caution is the "heartbreaker status" and if you are good friends with her or not, some ppl don't want to ruin their friendship and keep their feelings hidden by expressing it another way such as her being playfully mean to you but…if she keeps being mean or bullies you about asking her out she is not worth your time, idk if that makes sense but don't let ppl belittle you and your feelings >:( i'll fight for you

be aware that as someone who did the same just focusing on school until now i'm very dense and have had bad luck in relationships so i'm just wishing you all the best in this and if you need more specific advice, want to rant, or have a concern plz dm me directly and we can talk, other than that i hope this made some sort of sense….?

plz comment below if you have any advice for our favorite anon <3

#🦦 anon

[thetaekookcloset]

Hi! I’m relatively new to the Army, seeing something about taekook on tiktok is actually what brought me in a few months ago, and catching up on everything from the beginning has been fun. However I’m getting tired of the hate tkkrs get. I’ve never seen this much hate thrown at a group of shippers before in any of the fandoms I’ve been in. I’ve notice it’s only tkkrs who get a lot of hate but not any of the other ships, at least from what I’ve seen. Why is that, if you could provide some insight? I don’t mind other ships, and I find any interaction between any of the members cute, I just find there’s something more to JK and Tae’s interactions compared to the others. Yet appreciating their bond and thinking there might be something more between them somehow makes us a cult? I don’t see why it’s wrong to ship them but perfectly okay to ship JK with someone else or Tae with another member. I try and ignore the hate but I’ve been seeing it happening more and more lately and it’s just kind of disheartening to see. I just want to enjoy JK and Tae’s interactions without people coming for our throats for even uttering the word taekook. Sorry this turned more into a rant than an ask lol

Don't apologize!  What is a space like this good for if not commiserating lol.  It's definitely frustrating to constantly see insults hurled at literally everyone who even enjoys Taehyung and Jungkook as individual members, let alone someone who thinks they're cute together or God forbid thinks there might actually be something going on between them.

That's one thing that's so weird about the Taekooker hate: even amongst Taekookers ourselves, it's not like we all see things exactly the same way, so the cult accusations seem particularly off base. There are probably plenty of people who ship TK who would think I'm bananas for believing they might actually be in a relationship, for example. Plus it’s not like people don’t ship the members with all manner of people based on far, far fewer interactions.

As for why there's so much vitriol, I think there are a few factors.  One is just that I think there are a lot of us.  Like, if we set aside the fact that we do all have our own opinions on TK, and just look at us all as Taekookers with no further distinctions, there are just so, so many of us -- this ship is one of the most popular, currently, I would say, and probably the single most popular real-person ship, if I had to guess.  So that sort of makes us an easy target, if for no other reason than we're extremely visible.

Add to that the fact that there are some Taekookers who are pretty obnoxious and I think you've got a big part of your answer.  Obviously, Taekookers hardly have a monopoly on being annoying, and there are way more of us who aren't annoying than those who are, but because there are so many of us, the number of annoying people is higher, and they can be a vocal minority.

But why people feel the need to generalize everyone all together, why to so many people (even other shippers lmao) Taekookers are inherently delusional and all of our ideas are built on wishful thinking and childish fantasy and pure stupidity?  That I honestly don't know.  People have a superiority complex, I guess?  Maybe it's as simple as that.

They don't see what we see, and from their perspective, not only is there no reason to see what we see, there are lots of reasons to specifically not see it.  So rather than look any more deeply than that, they decide that we just think Jungkook and Taehyung are hot and want to imagine them together.

I imagine a lot of them take all the implications of the ITS conversation at face value and treat their interpretation of Taehyung's "get out of your imagination" comment as gospel (both of which I think pretty much fall apart with a little bit of critical thinking, but that's fine), and once those blocks are up, they just can't see past them.  Then from their point of view, shippers are everywhere, making ~everything about shipping~ all the time, and it annoys them so they lash out to give themselves a little dopamine.

It sucks but I imagine it's that simple really.

#ask

[herooffire101]

This is actually specifically in the version of the human AU where Demeter and Bombalurina are sisters, though I could easily change it to the other one where they are not sisters and there is attraction between them even though Bomba never pressures her about it because it has to be figured out by oneself, not explained by others. Also, because there’s a lot more going on in Demeter’s brain in that universe. I…don’t think we should get into that right now. Also, naming several old swing characters. Also, I’m challenging myself with using this version of Demeter’s point of view on Tuggerlina, also because I think that this concept is hilarious.

And yes, this is my favorite one I wrote. I like humor. Also I retrofitted a line and two from my personal tomorrow's writing that I got writer's block from.

A Marriage Proposal in the wrong order

December 27th, 2006…

“Oh, when will they actually get married!” Demeter listened as she watched her mother and godmother Jenny rant about Bomba’s and Tugger’s relationship with now having Jemima between them yet again. Ever since Jemima was born in May, both Jenny and Jelly have been hinting to Bomba and Tugger about having a marriage and having Jemima as the flower girl, and Demeter was long suffering listening to this for the past several months. No one even knew if either of them proposed to get married! Last Demeter knew, there was an agreement between them since they were sixteen that if they didn’t kill each other first, they would marry each other after both of them turned 20. However, as is tradition with them, Jemima ended up happening. What happened was that they overslept the day of Electra’s first birthday, complete with a phone call from Demeter herself asking where they were, and it turned into one of those days that followed them to the surprise of a lifetime that altered both their lives forever, give or take some forgetfulness and absentmindedness on both parts including alcohol-induced idiocy the night before. In Bomba’s own defense, how was she to know that Bailey’s Irish Cream affected her that way?

‘Why are they trying to hint to the two most dense and ignorant members of our tribe.’ Demeter thought, mentally groaning at the conversation she was unwittingly part of because of course Munk wasn’t available for her to escape to because he was busy, Victoria and Michael were being watched by Skimble and Dad. ‘Don’t they realize that Bomba and Tugger can be the most difficult members, always being contrary and intentionally obtuse, even when Bomby lived here? Knowing Tugger, marrying my sister is a bit too impulsive for him. And who’s to say that Bomba doesn’t want the loud crowd that comes from the reception. I certainly remember her meltdown during Peter’s and Victor’s pseudo reception we had for them.’ Remembering how Bomba so didn’t like the loudness and partying that came with the wedding, with her shaking, and clutching her ears because of the noise level. Even when newly diagnosed at twelve when they went to the celebration and learning her limits. She can be on stage or in the orchestral pit, performing. That never affected her. But put her in the middle of the auditorium for a school assembly, on the gym floor surrounded by the rest of the school or even in an enclosed room filled with thumping music and a lot of sweaty bodies? That set her off. There was a reason why she didn’t go to Junior Prom or Senior Ball two years ago. Hating majority of the school populace and sensory processing issues, along with other reasons. To put it simply, Demeter knew what Bomba liked, and what she didn’t like, and knew that her sister highly wanted a controllable setting in certain scenarios. Weddings were one such scenario.

“We need to get it through their heads that being officially married will save a lot of headaches later on.” Jenny pointed out, taking a sip of her tea. “Demeter, dear.” Bringing the 17-year-old out of her thoughts. “Would you like to go talk to Beatrice about marrying Travis?”

‘Oh, an escape!’ “I get to see Jemmy along the way.” Demeter agreed, accepting the chance to escape the conversation between Mom and Jenny, “I’ll talk to her about it, though I don’t think that’ll work.” Saying the last part under her breath.

Mom smiled, waving her younger daughter off, “Have fun, dear. Just remember to talk to your sister about marrying that scallywag she loves. Heaviside knows that Etcetera is very insistent about Tugger and his attention...” Mentioning their youngest sister. Etcetera, or her legal name of Erica, was clearly becoming a handful with a cute obsession with her oldest sister’s partner. Bomba was already having some problems with Cettie because how much of a handful she was and that her loudness was setting off her sensitive ears.

“I’ll try, Mom.” Demeter said, standing up from the table and got herself ready to brave the cold Massachusetts winter that has already set in. ‘At least Bomba will have hot chocolate.’

~~~~~~

“I know that it’s been only two days since we saw each other at Christmas, but I really did miss you, Deme.” Bomba said, holding 7-month-old Jemima in one arm and handing her younger sister a steaming cup of hot chocolate in the other. Jemima was happy, her right hand held her favorite toy, a stuffed cat that was a darker shade of red, almost looking black in some places with a white bib, and the face was a calico that her mother made (A/N: This is completely intentional. It’s supposed to look like Jemima’s/Sillibub’s costume/markings as a cat. All members of the Tribe/Troupe have one, either sewn like Jemima’s and Tugger’s or crocheted like Bomba’s and Demeter’s) and her left hand held her mother’s darker red hair compared to her own only a shade lighter hair, with the curls she inherited from Tugger. Really, you would realize that Tugger was her father just due to the curls, but as agreed between all of them (this includes Cassandra, Alonzo, Coricopat, Tantomile, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer as well) that their classmates, former and current, are incredibly stupid and decided to think that Macavity was her father. Jemima considered Demeter in what Bomba called ‘Her favorite people in the world’ group, which really only contained all of the Tribe, so when Bomba opened the door for Demeter Jemima cheered. By now, you really couldn’t see that Bomba’s left cheekbone was even fractured, proving that the plates in her face did exactly what they were meant to do.

“Mom and Jenny were talking again.” Demeter said, graciously accepting the hot chocolate, “Dad and Skimble are looking after the kittens again.”

“Plato having fun with Victoria?” She asked, curious about her foster son that only the past year she knew that she loved him like her own son and through technicalities was only her foster son for 8 months. At the mention of Plato made Jemima squeal in happiness. “You love your big brother, don’t you Jemmy?” A giggle coming from the tiny girl, both of the sisters knowing that she loves her big brother.

“Victoria really loves to dance with him, and he’s so patient with the other kittens, though it is concerning about how much Pouncival and Tumblebrutus idolize him even though they’re only 22 months old.” Demeter said, taking a sip of the hot chocolate, warming her up from the cold. ‘Somehow, Bomba always makes good hot chocolate.’ She thought, savoring the taste. “Is she old enough to have hot chocolate, by chance?”

“I rather wait until she tastes chocolate milk before I introduce her to hot chocolate, though it’ll have to be lukewarm chocolate instead of hot…” Bomba said, Jemima babbling to both of them.

Demeter eyebrows raised. “That’s smart. Misto and Victoria do prefer your hot chocolate to Munk’s.”

Bomba scoffed. “That’s because they got your impeccable tastes. And Bustopher’s as well.”

“’In fact, he’s remarkably fat.’” She quoted Bomba’s line in his song that Bomba always put in intentionally a lot of snark in.

“Yes, he is the St. James Street Cat.” Bomba responded back, knowing full well that she was not fascinated and thoroughly confused on why their godmother had a thing for Bustopher Jones. Jemima babbled, hearing the word cat and waved her cat around. “Yes, I know. Bustopher Jones is one of the cats. You saw him two days ago! Did you think that he is quite incredibly large, compared to Grandpa?” Jemima again babbled, and Demeter smiled at the scene in front of her. Bomba, and Tugger as well, were besotted by Jemima, knowing that both of them thought of Jemima as a promise, of happiness and forgiveness. She remembered the day when Bomba revealed to her one of her darker secrets from the warehouse they were kept in, and how Tugger and her made a technical promise that if they ever have a little girl with her eyes and his curls they would name her Jemima. While they were two of the more notorious citizens of their town (not on the level of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer), they were the most loving, the most caring of the Tribe members. Munk and Old Deuteronomy explained to her that both of them did suffer from Mac’s abuse more than her and Munk himself when they were younger, Tugger being the youngest of the brothers and Munk being the kind protective dad-like brother he is. Bomba was Grizabella’s favorite student, alongside her. Demeter knew her sister had issues with Mac, but not to the extent that she thought until Munk set the record straight after both of them got out. It was then that Jemima yawned, which Bomba declared, “It’s naptime for Jemmy. Let me put Jemmy down and then we’ll have a proper sister talk.” Standing up from the couch they were sitting on and walked down the hallway to Jemima’s bedroom, with her sister singing 'The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage’ to her daughter, which reminded Demeter of how much of a Macadamia Nut her sister was.

Along in the open concept living room-kitchen-dining room, her eyes noticed something interesting on the wall next to the hallway, framed. Standing up and placing her cup on the wooden coffee table Tugger made only three years ago for a competition, she walked over to the framed piece of paper. As she got closer, she read the words written on it. ‘Certificate of Marriage between Travis J. Jellicle and Beatrice R. Ford’ With the signature of a Judge. ‘What. The. Hell. That little…minx! Mom and Jenny were trying to hint to them that they should get married and turns out that they fucking fooled us because they were already married!’ Demeter thought, growling at her sister. ‘And the date…June 20th, 2006?!? Jemima was one month old!’ “Oh, I am going to kill you…” Demeter growled, her Tanner Temper slowly building.

“Kill who?” Making Demeter turn to face her sister leaning against the wall next to her.

“When were going to tell us that you and Tugger were already married?!?” She quietly hissed at Bomba, pointing at her harshly.

Bomba gently pushed her offending finger away. “Because you know how I want control over certain things.” Her emerald green eyes razor sharp, glancing at the certificate. “I know that Mom and Jenny were planning a wedding behind my back. I didn’t want that.”

“Then how did you go through with this?!” Demeter hissed, angrily pointing at the piece of paper.

“It was Tugger’s idea.”

“Huh?”

Bomba started to explain…” Let’s get married.” He said early in the morning, watching as Bomba fed their month-old daughter.

“Huh? Married?” Pregnancy brain still hadn’t faded, “When?”

“Maybe today or tomorrow. It’ll make it easier for social services to grant us custody of Electra, confirm our custody of Plato, and protect not only you, but Jemima as well. Also, it’ll make filing taxes so much easier if we were married than not.” Explained Tugger, showing actual logic for once. “We can have Alonzo be our witness.”

“Because he won’t spill to our family?”

“Yes, also because it’s fucking funny. It’ll be hilarious to watch Jelly and Jenny trying to plan a wedding you don’t want and don’t need. And give Alonzo something to mess with Munk.”

“Do you think that we can keep it from Plato as well? Kids his age tend to not keep secrets well.”

“We can tell him that it’s a surprise and surprises are not meant to be told until we decide to reveal the surprise.”

“So, we’ll get married probably today or tomorrow, get Alonzo to be our witness, make sure Plato keeps the marriage a secret until we reveal it, and not tell our family that we got married behind their backs?” Bomba summed it up, seeing the hilarity and logic behind his plan. “Okay, I’ll marry you, Travis.”

“So, not only you’ve been married for six months, but fucking Alonzo knew?!?” Demeter harshly whispered, her temper fueling her anger.

“And Cass. Alonzo told her and why we were keeping it secret. Those jackasses decided to give us our gifts as ‘an early wedding present’ with the most shit-eating grin.” Bomba continued, rolling her eyes at the memory of their Christmas presents from them. “I so plan on getting them back next Christmas with the early wedding present.”

“Those two?!? The most enigmatic and quiet members of our group?!? And you thought not to tell me or Munk about it?!?” Demeter raged, keeping her voice low.

“Because.” Bomba said with a shit-eating grin, “It was fucking funny as hell. Our little secret. Tying everything in Legal Red Tape, bureaucracy at its finest. Worked so well with proving that Jemmy is Tugger’s. Now you know, want to help me plan the big reveal to Mom and Jenny?”

Demeter opened her mouth and shut it. ‘Oh, Bomba is so going to get it from Mom.’ “We’re going to tell Munk first, AND then Mom. Tugger has to tell Old Deuteronomy by himself.”

Bomba waved it off. “Eh, Tugger will be fine. He told Old Deuteronomy about Jemmy easily.”

“Mom won’t. She’s been planning it for ages.”

“More for you than me, Deme. You deserve it.”

“B-Beatrice!” Demeter gaped at her sister, astounded that she shook off that in favor of her.

Sometime later, at the family dinner…

“BEATRICE ROSEMARIE FORD, HOW DARE YOU GO BEHIND ALL OF OUR BACKS.” Demeter watched as Jelly scolded Bomba on how she and Tugger went behind everyone’s backs marrying each other in front of everyone. Jemima, sitting in her Pops lap (Asparagus Jr), just laughed as her Nana was yelling at her mother. Being the innocent giggling baby in this odd scene that would be considered strange to most of other people but not to the tribe. Or maybe will still be strange no matter what.

‘Sometimes, it’s good to be the younger sister.’ Demeter thought as she stood by Munk and watched as Bomba got yelled at, vindictive. She watched as Bomba not only cringed but covered her ears because of the volume. ‘Next time, just tell Mom about how you don’t want a wedding reception. Just let us celebrate and get some photos so that Jemima doesn’t ask questions when she gets older.’

I literally had this scene in my head, and it wouldn’t leave me alone.

#tuggerlurina week #cats the musical #bombalurina #tuggerlurina #cats human au #rum tum tugger #demeter cats #Well it's in Demeter's view #Sometimes you have to use an outside perspective on a ship #jellylorum #jennyanydots #jemima cats

[corniebooks]

So I was reblogged in my last post and then I assume blocked so I couldn’t continue the conversation. Here is his reply:

I edited my previous post so people can find the truth “in case they read this response”, but I want to say more and I’m going to be more rude than I was originally since he’s not going to see it.

“Remedial view of history”????? “Historical misconception”????? All I said was that it annoyed me for people to misuse financial terms by sticking terms specific to certain forms of financial markets in the wrong one.

Stocks imply a secondary market to buy and sell those shares. Stocks are a subset of types of shares, but you can’t call all shares stocks. This is like calling all shoes “high heels”. Yes, some shoes are high heels, but if you start calling every shoe a high heel, readers are going to have a very different picture if you say the character bent down to retie their high heels.

Maybe you are of the group wanting to call a reptilian monster bear, but you can’t get upset when the reader is confused that it has scales and six legs. Though this specific example was done well and was based on the connotation of bears and role in the ecosystem and handled the reader being thrown for a loop because the author did it on purpose. Basically words have definitions and connotations and you as the author have no control over those things. You can play with them, but using the wrong word out of ignorance is just wrong.

I studied accounting in college. I know more about this subject than your average person and thus am more reliable than someone who has only studied the written word. This is part of why I hate that English is an undergraduate degree. It’s a circle jerk for writers. The only thing you know about the world is writing and writers. Yes, research teaches you stuff and not all authors are English majors, but imagine how much better journalists, tv writers, screen writers, authors, etc would be at telling stories if they had to study something else for their undergrad. Our society would be learning a lot more from media if that were the case.

Rant over. I only responded because it is my area of expertise and the post asked for other people’s ideas. Clearly that was a lie as this response treats engagement like something that will contaminate his followers. If June does see this, I’m sorry for being rude but your response was rude and then you prevented me from continuing the conversation so that maybe we could get over it like it was just picking words that were more harsh than you intended and all would be okay even if you disagree.

[iwadori]

Oh my God, I just saw your angst iwa fic with the pregnant reader and then looked for more fics on your blog and I fell in love with it???❤❤ + ayeee another demon slayer lover here 😭can I maybe be an emoji anon?:"D I would love to chat with you but a little bit to shy

And I hope its also okay if I request something: Can you maybe do Tendou and Iwaizumi making the reader insecure? ( maybe where the reader gets jealous/ insecure because some fangirls are flirting with them and they say something like "maybe you are to insecure/jealoue" and they are scared that they will leave them?)

Hope you have a great day <3

When they make you insecure PT 4/ Dating your brothers teammate PT3

When they make you insecure:

Part One  Part Two  Part Three  Part Four Part Five Part six

Dating your brothers teammate:

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word Count: 2.1K

Genre: angst,fluff

masterlist

Authors Note: Thank you so much for liking my other works, and OF COURSE you can message me/be a continous anonymous ask. BTW if anybody wants to privately message me just to talk or whatever or ask me questions on my asks they can!! And IK this wasn’t technically what you asked for but I hope this is good enough <3 (I will most likely do Iwaizumi in the next part) by the way this is NOT proofread (so expect mistakes)

Tendou

You and tendou have been talking since you were in your first year and his second.

So you weren’t officially dating.

He was interested in what the second ushijima would be like.

You were just like your brother, sharp and stoic but great in everything you do and it seemed that Tendou took a liking to that.

You entered your brother's dorm room in the hopes of finding Tendou, but unluckily it was just Ushijima reading his magazines. “He’s not in here,” he said before you could even ask about your crush's whereabouts.  

As you were about to leave the room, Ushijima asked you to sit down for a moment so he could to you “yess toshi?” you said already bored.

“Are you and Tendou dating?” he asked

“Umm I-” You didn’t really know what to say, since you and Tendou haven’t officially put a label on things (as much as you wanted him too.) “Not really dating per se, just going through the motions...i guess” you said with uncertainty.

“Going through the motions?” Ushijima questioned more to himself then to you.  

“Don’t worry about it Toshi” you say ruffling his hair

“I’m just checking to make sure you’re okay Y/N” he said seriously “Oh and by the way when you and Tendou are about to have se-”

“La La La La La” you say putting your fingers in your ears “I do not need a sex-ed lesson from you nii-san" you swiftly leave the room a tad bit grossed out.

“Oh and by the way Tendou is probably in Eita’s and Kenjirou’s room.” he calls.

You excitedly skip over to Semi’s and Shirabu’s room happy to see your boyfriend ‘friend.’ Walking to the door, before you open it, you hear Tendou talking to Semi and Shirabu and the conversation topic seems to be about you.  

“How are things going with Y/N Tendou” Semi asked “You’re practically dating now. Right?”

“Well Semi-sem, I wouldn’t say that...” Tendou said, making you furry your eyebrows in confusion. “Y/N is a bit, you know... what’s the right word” he thinks, “Boring.”

You step back abit from the door, shocked. ‘Boring?’ How were you boring... You were hurt. Especially since you’ve heard the insult of you being boring your whole life, you knew that you took after your brother in most aspects but that didn’t make neither you or your brother boring. You’ve even have voiced that specific insecurity (about you being boring) where Tendou always assured you that you were the most interesting person he’s ever met.

You went back into Ushijima’s room since it was the closest place and you knew you could always go to your brother whenever you were upset or just in need of someone to listen to you rant about anything. Upon your entering, Ushijima looks up at you and before he could ask what was wrong you wrapped your arms around him and just burst out crying. Awkwardly, Ushijima pats your back not really knowing what to do. He waits for you to calm down before asking you “What’s wrong Y/N?”

“h-he called me boring...” you cried again slightly, “I heard him talking with Semi and Shirabu”

“Well I don’t think you a boring, not at all Y/N” he said handing you a tissue so that you can wipe your eyes and blow your nose “Do you need me to talk with him?”

“No!” You exclaimed “Don’t talk to him...I’ll handle it.” You knew that him and Tendou talking wouldn’t turn out right, because you weren’t even dating in the first place and Ushijima would definitely deep the situation more then needs be.  

“Ushiwaka I brought some snacks for us” said a cheerful sounding Tendou entering the room. His voice faltered when he saw a teary eyed you wrapped up in her brothers arm. “Y/N-chan are you alright?”  

“Yeah I’m fine” you respond dryly “Well I’ll be going...thanks Toshi”  

You leave the room not looking Tendou in the eye leaving him confused. He thought you would be happy to see him, although he knew you weren’t officially ‘together’ or whatever so he didn’t get why you seemed mad.

“Hey Ushiwaka, what’s wrong with Y/N” he asked  

“She said I am not allowed to discuss it with you.” Ushijima replied flipping through his magazine

‘So there is a problem..’ Tendou thought trying to think of things that could spur up your problem with him.

When you were heading to your room, you bumped into Semi and Shirabu who seemed to be heading towards your brother. “Hey Y/N” they greeted simultaneously

“hi guys..” you said sniffling  

They could see that you were sad and didn’t want to pry, so in an attempt to make you feel better Semi said “One of our friends, I think someone from Karasuno is having a party do you wanna come with us.” Just then, a lightbulb went off in your head and you thought of the best idea to really show Tendou you aren’t boring and you can also make your ‘boy’ friend jealous at the same time.

You immediately perk up and smile at the boys surprising them, “Sure, I'd love to go pick me up at 8?” you ask making them nod as you rush back to your dorm room to find something to wear.  

After basically emptying your wardrobe, you find something to wear (a little black dress to be precise) you couldn’t deny that you were hot in general but right now in this dress there was no dispute about how beautiful you are.

Semi knocks on your door right at 8pm, his eyes widening seeing how you look. You gave him a knowing smirk making the tips of his ears go red, “should we be going now...?” you ask as he was stood there frozen staring at you,

“Uhm yeah sure” he said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck feeling a little bit embarrassed.

Entering the party, a lot of eyes were on both you and Semi in jealousy and in want. You were both the most attractive ‘couple’ in the room and it was obvious that you both knew that. Tendou was already there sitting in the corner of the room with the rest of the Shiratorizawa boys, he had of bit of anger brewing in the pit of his stomach at the sight of you on Semi’s arm.

“Semi! My twin, welcome to the party!” Yelled a boy who looked kind of like Semi, making Semi roll his eyes

“Hi, I’m Sugawara but you can just call me suga” he says to you extending his hand “and you are...”

“Oh Hi! I’m Ushijima Y/N” you replied back giving his hand a shake

“I see, Ushiwaka’s little sister...cute” he says smiling in your face “Well I’ve got to now and make sure certain teammates of mine aren’t blowing up my house or anything so talk to you soon”

“You do kind of look the same Semi” you say to him teasingly

“Oh, shut up Y/N” he says jokingly making you laugh pretty loudly putting your arm on his bicep (forearm I don’t know the body part lol.) You look over to Tendou and you could tell he was getting bothered by your interaction with Semi making it even more enjoyable to you.

“Semi, do you wanna dance?” you ask batting your eyelashes at him, throwing him off. “Um okay.”

You were being a bit wild with your movements whilst dancing with Semi (since you’re obviously not the usual party-goer) but you were enjoying yourself nevertheless.  

“Are you okay Y/N?” Semi asks you  

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be” you respond

“Um...it’s just that you’ve been a bit weird tonight and I’ve seen the staring matches you and Tendou have been having” he says “Is everything alright with both of you?”

He leads you over to somewhere more private so that you could properly talk, “So what's been going on with the two of you.”

“You should know more than me Semi” you sigh “You were there when he called me boring”

“I don’t think he meant it th-” he starts  

“I don’t care what he meant to be honest, I just wanted to prove to him more so prove to myself that I’m not boring. Cause I don’t think I am.” you say

“You’re not Y/N” he says looking at you “Of course you aren’t.”

“I guess so... it doesn’t even matter I shouldn’t even be so upset, since me and Tendou aren’t actually dating.” you mumbled looking away

“Tendou really likes you Y/N” he says turning your body so you’re so looking at him “He talks about you all the time, since he thinks you’re amazing.”

You’re now staring into each other's eyes “And that’s because you are amazing Y/N” his words make you smile and look down slightly. Maybe it was just because you were both in the heat of the moment, but Semi lips up your chin so you’re both directly in front of each other and you then subconsciously lean into his face closing your eyes (with him doing the same.) And just as your lips were about to touch you hear a,

“What the fuck is happening here!” you look to your left and see both Tendou and Ushijima. With Tendou having his mouth agape and Ushijima having his usual monotone expression on. Tendou rushes over to you and grips your arm pulling your arm up, making you wince slightly and him lessening his grip on you. He pulls you into the bathroom and sits you down on the toilet (the lid is closed) and he leans against the sink.

“What’s your problem with me Y/N” he says sounding pretty fed up.

“Nothing...I don’t see why you care … It’s not like we’re dating or anything” you say mumbling the last part.

“Oh so that’s your problem!” he exclaims, kind of happy that he cracked the code on why you were mad at him.

“No my problem is that you think Im boring” you whine  

“Boring... I don’t think I ever sai-” he pauses realizing what you were referring too “Oh you heard me when I was with Semi-sem and Shirapoo... we thought we heard someone outside”

You sat there with a bored expression on your face waiting for an explanation, “I never said you were boring, well I did. But I assume you miss what I really said was ‘Boring. No that’s also the wrong word too she’s blunt it’s like I’m talking to a girl version of Ushijima sometimes it’s spooky.... but besides that, I really like her’ that’s what I said”

Oh, ‘I guess that makes sense,’ you think... because you were shocked that Tendou would call you boring in the first place so it makes more sense that he didn’t even fully mean that and you just didn’t hear the full thing.

“Oh” you say, looking down feeling a bit embarrassed  

"I really like you Y/N... and I know you’ve been waiting on me to ask you to be my girlfriend and I’m sorry for not doing it sooner, I just didn’t think we needed a label since we both knew what we were” he says kneeling down to be at your eye level “But obviously when I saw you dancing and flirting with Semi I realised what I gotta do... so Y/N Ushijima my ‘miracle girl’ will you be my girlfriend”  

“Of course,” you say giving him a hug  

“Oh, and Y/N...” he starts “were you really about to kiss semi” he asks in a jokey way “you would’ve been left with a permanent scowl left on your face” making you laugh.

After spending quite some time in the bathroom with Tendou, you finally leave and see Ushijima just standing outside patiently waiting.  

“Umm Toshi-nii what are you doing?” you ask  

“Just making sure you’re okay Y/N.” he says looking at both you and Tendou and then your hands that are holding each other's “Ahh I see you two are now boyfriend and girlfriend”

“Yes indeed we are Ushiwaka, I finally asked her!” Tendou replied

“Oh that’s good.” Ushijima nods at both at you as you start walking off to return to the party “Also Tendou, when you and Y/N have se-”

“Gosh Toshi, stop with the sex talk” you say putting your hands on your ears making Tendou laugh.

You and Tendou have so much fun in your relationship, always enjoying the time you spend together. There were no big problems with you two, besides minor arguments but if there ever was a problem you could always go to your big brother who had the best advice to give whether it was on relationships, plants or sex.

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyu #haikyu headcanons #tendou headcanon #tendou scenario #tendou satori #tendou x reader #tendo x y/n #tendou angst #tendou x you #signedwithane😌