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haikyuufanficwriting · 3 months

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Chapter 7: Kuroo (NSFW)

Prompt: Reader working non-stop and (Character) has to ‘tire’ them out. (NSFW) Character: Kuroo

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You’re a workaholic. Anyone who’s ever met you could notice it at first meeting. You’re a typical type A person. You fit the stereotypical mold perfectly. This isn’t really a surprise to you though, you’ve been this way for as long as you could remember.

Ever since you were a little kid, you’ve never been able to take a proper break. You simply didn’t know how to. There always seemed to be something else to do, something to improve on, something to fix…

And while you profited from this trait in your professional life, it did horrendous effects on your personal life.

“Kitten, it’s almost midnight.” You don’t even glance up from your desk, engrossed in the report you’re writing, as your boyfriend curls his arms around you, silently beckoning you to come to bed. You sigh lightly.

“I’ll be there is fifteen minutes Tetsu.” You mutter absentmindedly, and Kuroo snorts, knowing very well that you’re saying anything to sate him.

Truth be told, Kuroo understood where you’re coming from. Becoming the spokesman for a famous a volleyball team has led to many late nights, but the difference between him and you were he knew when and how to take a break. Kuroo could kick back and forget about all his ailments, while you could barely go ten minutes without going into a frenzy about some files you had to go over. He couldn’t really remember a time when you weren’t like this. Even back in high school, you tried to make sure you had perfected every subject, every assignment. When you joined the volleyball team as manager, you stayed back longer than any boy practicing. Doing anything from helping cleaning and maintaining the gym, to help making as many practice matches as you could.

Many times he’d have to force you to eat and to sleep, among other things. Kuroo had gotten so used to it, it became routine to pick up both you and Kenma just to make sure both of you had eaten something. So much so that it’s a favorite pastime for him to recall those memories and watch you cringe.

But, now in your adult life and being in a romantic relationship rather than a platonic one, Kuroo lets you do you. Of course, now you know when to do basic necessities like eat and sleep (Well, sometimes you needed a little help), but mostly because he wouldn’t dare change you. (Maybe because of how amusing it is to see you try to relax). However, there are times where he felt he needed to step in. Just to make sure you wouldn’t burn out or combust.

You were high maintenance but, Kuroo liked maintaining you. Your drive and passion for everything you do is one of the reasons he fell for you in the first place.

Which brings him to his current mission. To get you to sleep. Ever since you were brought on to a new project at your work, he could tell you weren’t sleeping as much as you should be. And while he was usually lenient, it was starting to worry him a little bit. Hence, why this time he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Kuroo doesn’t respond with words, but only light, feather-like kisses down your neck, just to remind that he really isn’t going to give in. You try to ignore him, but once he begins to suck a light hickey right below your ear, you can’t handle it and let out a heavy sigh of mainly annoyance and just a bit of pleasure. You can feel his smirk from behind you. That jackass.

“Tetsu, I have to focus.”

“You can focus tomorrow, (Name). It’ll still be there when you wake up.” Kuroo says in a teasing tone while moving his hands from your sides to your hands, pulling them away from the work you so desperately want to finish.

“I promised myself I’d finish this today.” You argue, turning around to plead with your eyes, but to no avail.

“When’s the deadline?” You pause, before looking away slightly.

“Next week.” Kuroo doesn’t even need to use words, but just a slight eyebrow raise for you to feel the need to defend yourself. “I-I’m using next week to read it over just to make sure I didn’t forget any-” Your argument is cut off by your yelp as Kuroo picks you up bridal style right from your chair. You flush.

“T-tetsurou!”

He gives you a Cheshire smile. “Bedtime.” Is the only thing he says as he carries you to your shared bedroom. You huff childishly as he sets you down onto the bed and pulls the covers down. He pulls off his shirt and lays down. You’re silently thankful that you were already changed for bed. Your mind can’t even take the imaginary scenarios of what your boyfriend would do. Your noises of disagreement are quieted when he pulls you into his chest. You grumble slightly.

“I’m not a child you know.” You hear Kuroo let out a small chuckle. You feel the vibrations coming from his chest and shiver slightly.

“Sleep, kitten.” He whispers before playfully nipping your ear, which earns him a light smack against his arm. Such a tease. You sigh, before relaxing into your boyfriends’ arms, attempting to sleep.

Maybe this could actually be good for you. Some sleep to feel refreshed in the morning and give you the final push to finish that report…

This was a terrible idea.

Not only could you not fall asleep, but you couldn’t stop thinking about your unfinished report in the other room. It was practically calling you, teasing you, infesting your mind with the fact that it’s sat there, undone. You shift slightly, leaning more against Kuroo as you feel his deep and even breathing. Lucky bastard practically passed out the second his head hit the pillow. While you laid there for about what felt like an eternity. You let out a low agonized whine, before looking at the clock on your bedroom wall. It was 1:35 am.

You definitely couldn’t stay like this. It was going to be the death of you if this continued.

You look from your door to Kuroo. Surely, he wouldn’t notice if you left for half an hour? You were almost finished with your report, so you knew you wouldn’t be gone for long, plus he slept like the dead…

You slowly and cautiously uncurled Kuroo’s arms from your waist, checking his face for the smallest shifts of discomfort, stopping whenever he twitched. After about five minutes, you managed to get him off you, and as quietly as possible, you stood up and tried to make your way to your door. You were about halfway there, when you hear a low grunt. You turn to see your boyfriend’s arms searching threw the empty space of the bed. He was trying to look for you.

If you weren’t focused on the task at hand, you would’ve recorded this for blackmail material. But, afraid of waking him, you silently grabbed your pillow and gave it to his searching hands. And like a child, Kuroo immediately clings onto it, pulling it into him and letting out a satisfied groan. You feel sensations of warmth course through you.

You swear you cannot describe the love you feel for this man. You feel yourself smile, going back and brushing your fingers down his neck, to which he let out a comforted noise.

Wait, stop, (Name) focus!

You snap yourself out of it, reminding yourself of the report sitting outside. With one last glance, you turn and make your way out the door. You feel peace and relief as you sit back down in your desk chair.

Okay time to get to work…

Okay, this might’ve taken a little longer than you’ve anticipated.

You finished writing the report, but when reading over you decided halfway through that you wanted to change a section, but then it intersected with another part and another…

Long story short, you’re rewriting it all over again.

You have no clue what time it is, only knowing the last time you checked it was 2: 45 am, and its felt like forever since you last checked.

But nevertheless, you were convinced that you were going to be done in the next fifteen minutes, so you just had to make sure that it was quiet enough that Kuroo wouldn’t wake. You made sure to check the door every five minutes and not a to make a single sound other the keyboard clacking. You were filled with determination. The next ten minutes flew by, with you getting immersed into your own little bubble.

Which is why you didn’t even hear Kuroo get up.

Granted, he had woken up randomly, but when he stirred and found himself clutching a pillow instead of your body, he knew immediately what you were up to.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He groaned, before huffing out a laugh, shaking his head at the clock on the wall. It was around 4: 15 am. Kuroo got up and walked out of the room, to find you sitting on your desk, face totally absorbed in your screen. He leans against the wall causally, watching you for a while.

“You know they say the early bird gets the worm,” His voice is rough from sleep, but is still filled with amusement as he watches you jump from his voice. You turn his way like a child getting caught for taking candy from their mothers’ purse.

“But this is a little much don’t you think?” He watches you slide out of your desk, closing your laptop while attempting to figure out a reasonable defense, but ends up watching you open and close your mouth like a gaping fish. He wishes he had his phone with him to catch your expression.

“I… I wasn’t tired. So I just figured I’d finish while it was still on my mind.” You finally say, voice filled with nervousness and a little bit of shame. Kuroo looks from you to your laptop.

“And did you finish?” You look away.

“…Not yet.” There’s silence between you two for little while. You watch Kuroo rub his face, clearly trying figure out what to do with you. You gulp.

“Tetsu, just go back to bed, I’ll be finished in ten minutes. As soon as I’m done, I’ll go to sleep I promise. I just couldn’t rest knowing it wasn’t done-” You’re cut off by Kuroo’s body pressing into yours, pushing you against the wall in a searing kiss, moving against your lips in a slow but bruising pace. You moan in surprise.

How-How did he even get over here so quickly?

Your mind goes blank as his hand travels under your pajama shirt (Which was his old t-shirt, but whatever), rubbing your lower back in ways that leave your skin tingling in its wake. You gasp from the sensation, giving Kuroo the space to slip his tongue in. At this point your body is on auto pilot, with even your arms subconsciously wrapping around his neck at some point of the suddenly heavy make out session.

After what felt like centuries, Kuroo pulls back to let you breathe, before immediately going to attack your neck, not in the lighthearted way he did hours prior. He cycles from sucking on your flesh to lightly biting to kissing, all in places that he knows are sensitive. This all came on so fast that you can barely form coherent sentences.

“T-tetsu… What -ah, are you… Doing?” You pant, and he finally stops and smirks at you, which alone caused your heart to skip a beat.

“What else could I be doing? Taking your mind off work.” With that, he continues that assassination on your neck.

Honestly, the idea came to Kuroo on a whim. He knew that you couldn’t (or wouldn’t) stop working on that stupid report, so at that moment he could only think of one thing that could have a chance at taking your focus off it.

Sex.

Primitive yes, but hey, it worked at the best of times. Plus, it could also help with working off the extra energy you can’t seem to shake.

It’s a win-win in his eyes.

(It also may have to do with the fact that you two haven’t slept together in a week, due to said report, so he could be feeling a little pent up but that’s a different issue.)

After he was satisfied with his work on your neck, which was full of red and purple splotches that he knows you’ll complain about later, he returns to your lips, kissing you with all the strength he had. His hands travel from your back to your chest, thankful that you weren’t wearing a bra. Kuroo starts to knead your breasts, making sure to pinch and pull and your nipples every so often, leaving you to twitch and cry softly in his mouth. He can’t help but think about how the sounds would feel around his cock, and that imagery goes straight to his crotch.

Right no, this was about you. Another thought for another day.

His hands leave your chest, to go to the back of your thighs. He squeezes them to silently tell you to that he’s going to lift you. You help a little, jumping slightly and hooking your legs around his toned hips. Without leaving your lips he takes you to the nearest surface, which was your couch, and lays you down with the upmost care, before pouncing on you immediately. Putting one of his legs between yours.

After five minutes in this new position, Kuroo suddenly leaves your mouth and you quietly whine at the loss, but he doesn’t hear as he motions you to lift your arms off to take off your shirt. You comply, helping him remove the item of clothing, leaving you in just your panties. Kuroo appreciates the fact that you don’t wear pants to bed as he takes a moment to look at you. Your face flushed and red, lips swollen with a bruised neck that goes down to your collar bones. Your chest heaving from your heavy pants that accentuate the curve of your breasts. Kuroo has to real in his self control to stop himself from fucking you immediately. You feel yourself heat up from his dark eyes looking you up and down like you’re a piece of meat.

“St-stop staring, pervert” You mutter, turning even more red from embarrassment. He smiles at your shyness. “Sorry kitten; but you can’t expect me not stare when you’re all laid out for me like this~ Just waiting to be devoured.”

You stutter at his words, refusing to look at him but trying to kick him to get your point across. He catches your leg with ease, and starts to kiss your calf, going up your leg, purposefully avoiding where you want him most. You whine again, this time with Kuroo hearing you and he chuckles lowly.

“Patience is a virtue, you know~” He teases, and before you could say anything, he latches his mouth to one of your nipples, leaving his hand to tease the other, making you speechless. Your only response was a shaky moan as he softly bites your nipple, causing your back to arch just a bit.

Kuroo is relentless, refusing to let your nipple go until its bright red and engorged, making even the lightest touch make you shiver. But he isn’t done in the slightest. Once pleased, he turns to the other one, giving it the exact same treatment. Once he’s done, you’re practically shaking with need.

“Tet-Tetsu… Pl-please.” You moan, as he teasingly pinches your extremely sensitive nipple. He looks at you, acting oblivious.

“Hm? Do you want something?” You glare as hard as you could at the prick, but with your half-lidded eyes and totally red face, it loses all intensity. Kuroo huffs out a laugh, sensual and deep, as he takes his finger and trails it down your abdomen and down to your inner thigh, making you let out gasps as your body twitches at the touch. He traces tiny circles down your inner thigh before grazing the lips of your pussy.

You’re absolutely dripping. His cock twitches. Maybe this week has been hard on you too…

“So needy~” He groans, again not giving you time to respond, as he shoves his finger inside your dripping hole, leaving you writhing. To be honest, he was becoming impatient as well, his cock was becoming so hard it was beginning to hurt, but he ignored it for your sake.

Kuroo starts off slow, pushing his finger in a slow pulse, loving the way your walls would twitch around his finger. After a while he brought his thumb to rub slow tight circles on your clit. You struggle to hold in any noise. Not like you weren’t struggling before.

“Tetsu~” You pant, becoming a literal puddle as he steadily winds the coil forming in your lower abdomen. Your hips start to move on their own accord, pushing against his finger to get it even deeper.

You want more. You need more.

“Still thinking about work?” Kuroo asks slyly, purposefully adding a second finger just to mess and cloud up your thoughts.

Bastard was making you look like a bitch in heat. But in the moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. Not with all the pleasure muddling your basic communication skills. Kuroo obviously didn’t like that, so he decides to push up into a place that makes you see stars.

“Tetsurou!” You literally gasp, arching your back so far that you lift yourself off the couch. Kuroo groans just from your voice and expression alone. Just watching your eyes roll into the back of head was enough to put him in a frenzy, not even mentioning the way you said his name. He wanted you to scream it. Scream so loud the neighbors file complaints.

So of course, what else was he supposed to do but press and rub against that spot repeatedly.

Kuroo watches hungrily as your gasps and moans pitch higher and higher as his fingers set a brutal pace. Adding a third finger and his palm against your clit once more and you were goner, with him throwing you into climax rather than pushing you to it. He swears your cunt squeezed him so hard his fingers lost circulation for a moment, but it was worth the expression of pure bliss on your face.

It takes you a while to get your breathing under control, winding down from a climax harder than you’ve had in a while. You take a couple minutes resting your eyes, before you remember that Kuroo was still present, now rubbing his cock against your inner thigh.

“I hope you’re not tired yet, kitten~ We still have so much work to do.”

Boy, were you in for a rough night.

#haikyuu #fanfic #drabble #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #smut #haikyuu smut

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skzdreamz · 11 months

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Birthday Sex - Seo Changbin

pairing: dom!Changbin x fem!reader warnings: alcohol consumption, pet names, oral receiving (reader) word count: 1.5K

a/n: I’m so sorry for keeping you guys waiting :( my school deadlines are killing me and I was too tired to finish this along with my other SEVEN drafts I’m still working on💔 but I’ll try my best to publish them as soon as possible. I hope you enjoy this one in the meantime

you and Changbin have been gym buddies ever since you came up to him to ask him for help. he was just doing his basic routine when you noticed him. you were starting your gym journey and had no idea where to begin. what better way to find out than walking up to this buff and handsome man?

after a long period of time of him being your personal trainer, you started to hang out besides the gym as well. you really liked his personality. you found out he was actually very bubbly and loves being all cuddly and sweet to the people he cares about most.

even though you got used to him being so touchy with you the whole day, something was different today. he was even more eager to help you with your squats today. he held you by your hips for support, even though you both know that you don’t really need that. he insisted on helping you, so you didn’t even try to fight it.

you were almost done with your last set of squats when you felt his hand slip to your ass. his fingers touching your cheeks softly. you didn’t really think much of it, since he was just trying to help you. but when he rests his hands on your ass, with no plan of moving his hands, you couldn’t help but think about all the things he could do to you with those hands.

even though Changbin was always so friendly to you, you couldn’t help thinking of him in a not so friendly way. he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen and his personality makes it even harder to not fall for him. you try to shake off the thoughts. after you finish your last reps, you turn around to face him and you’re faced with his dark eyes.

you feel your panties already starting to get embarrassingly wet and you can’t help but rub the thighs together. you immediately see his eyes travel down to your legs as you do so, embarrassment washing over you instantly. you look at the ground and fidget with your fingers trying to come up with something to say, but he beat you to it.

“no need to get all shy now baby” he smirks. you look at him and regret it instantly. his dark eyes piercing into your shy ones. your usually outgoing persona flew out the door to moment you met his eyes.

he takes a step forward, his face inching closer to yours. you hold your breath, too scared to even breathe his air. you turn your head in embarrassment, but he grabs your chin and makes you look at him. he brings his face even closer. lips barely touching, as he whispers “I think workout time here is done”

he let’s go of your chin and starts walking away to grab his stuff. you can’t believe what just happened. still struck by the moment you stand there with your eyes wide open. you watch as he finishes packing his stuff and getting ready to get out of the gym. “see you tomorrow for your birthday?” he winks at you.

you can only nod at him. you stand there for a few more minutes, processing what had just happened. were you hallucinating or did he just try to make a move on you. you shake off the thought and tell yourself to not overthink it too much. Changbin has an outgoing personality and loves to tease you, so it’s probably nothing.

the next day you’re getting ready for your birthday party. you invited some friends over at your place to celebrate. everyone seems to be enjoying their times after arriving at your place. you’re happy to see everyone having fun.

you walk to the kitchen to get another drink. as you were about to pour the vodka in your cup, you get startled by a voice calling your name, making you spill the vodka on your dress. you turn around and see Changbin walking up to you. “sorry I didn’t mean to scare you birthday girl” he chuckles as he grabs some tissues to clean you up.

flashbacks of your little moment at the gym are coming back to you when you feel him wiping away the alcohol on your dress. “I think I just need to change into something else”. as you turn around, he grabs your wrist. “no we’ll fix it, let me help you with that”. you give him a quick nod assuring him it’s fine to follow you to the bathroom.

as soon as you’re both in the bathroom he locks the door. you’re too focused on getting the stain out of your dress to notice him walking towards you. he takes your hand in his. you look up at him with a confused look on your face. “you’re so pretty you know that?” he smiles at you. you don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol, but your whole body starts feeling warm and tingly after hearing him say that.

he brings his free hand to your cheek, softly caressing it. “can I give you a present?” he asks, his gaze on your lips. you feel your cheeks burning up even more. “y-yeah.. sure, don’t you want to give it to me downstairs? I think my friends would like to see all the presents as well” you chuckle nervously. “I don’t think they’d want to see this one” he smirks.

his words shoot right down to your core, making you rub your thighs together. he steps impossibly closer to you, his mouth right by your ear. “I’m going to touch you now, you don’t mind, right?” you hear the smirk in his voice. you grab his face bringing his lips closer to yours. “please”

he wastes no time picking you up and putting you on the sink. he kisses you passionately before traveling down to your jaw and your neck. his kisses are gentle, but the lust is evident. you reach for the hem of his shirt, signaling him to take it off. he brings his face back to yours. “you want it off?” you nod shyly.

“I would make you work for it, but that’s for another day” he lifts you off of the sink, putting you back on your feet. “strip for me” you immediately take off your dress and panties leaving you butt naked in front of him. you feel relieved that you have a bit of alcohol in your system. you were sure you would feel embarrassed standing there naked while he’s still fully clothed.

“you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to see you like this” he caresses your waist, admiring your whole body. you smile like an idiot hearing those words from him. he gives you a few more kisses before picking you up again. you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, keeping him close to you.

he backs you up against the wall. his now hard cock rubbing against your naked cunt. all you can hear is heavy breathing and groans from both you and him. you don’t have to worry about people hearing you, because of the loud music coming from the living room. and you couldn’t be more thankful, because the groans that are slipping past his lips are the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard.

you bring your hand down to your cunt, wanting to rub some circles on your clit to relieve the frustration growing in your body. Changbin notices your hand going down and immediately pulls away from your lips. “come on now baby girl..” he says as he let’s his eyes wander down to your hand that’s now covering your cunt. “.. that’s what I’m here for” he smirks.

he puts you back down on your feet. “hold onto me, yeah?” you nod, excitement rushing through your whole body. he starts kissing your neck and traveling down your body. he stops just at your hip. Changbin looks up at you, trying to search for any discomfort. he takes it as a sign to continue once he feels your hand reaching for his locks. he grins and immediately plunges his tongue in your cunts.

his tongue is lapping up all of your juices, making you moan out loud. you mentally thank yourself for putting on some loud music for your friends. the grip on Changbin’s hair is getting tighter and tighter the harsher he starts sucking on your clit. your hand pulling on his hair makes him groans into your cunt.

you feel your high approaching quickly and you’re sure your legs would’ve given up on you if Changbin’s strong arms weren’t wrapped around your thighs. your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel your orgasm ripping through your whole body. he guides you through your orgasm, stroking your thighs sweetly.

you don’t even notice Changbin now standing in front of you again. your eyes still closed due to the intense orgasm. he strokes your cheek softly making you open your eyes. you’re met with his loving gaze and you can’t help but connect your lips against his for the nth time that night. time seemed to stand still kissing him so sweetly and being engulfed into his big arms. you’ve never felt this safe.

after what felt like forever, you separate your lips from his. placing your hands on both his cheeks and giving him a quick peck on his nose. he scrunches his nose and flashes you his bright smile that soon changes into a grin.

“there’s another present in your bedroom, wanna check it out?”

taglist: @softyoogi @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @sillyrabbit76 @luvshuu @stray-kids-smut1246

#stray kids #stray kids smut #skz #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz smut #skz fanfic #changbin #changbin smut #seo changbin

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lavenderbang · 1 year

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Love Letters

Gryffindor! Seo Changbin x Ravenclaw! reader

Genre(s): Harry Potter/hogwarts au!, ABSOLUTE FLUFF, one scene of angst but that’s it, acquaintances(?) to lovers (Reader has a crush on Changbin but they aren’t quite friends???), feat. the rest of skz (mainly Felix, Jisung, Bangchan, and Jeongin though...)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of self-doubt, but that’s about it :)

W.C: 12.9k

Summary: Seo Changbin was used to his friends having to turn down confessions left and right, seeing as their little friend group as one of the most popular in the school. He convinced himself he didn’t care if nobody ever had interest in him, as it seemed liked such a hassle. That is, until he receives finds a box of chocolates and a love note from his “secret admirer”

A/N: I originally had this idea for Chan, but I feel like Changbin doesn’t get enough love these days and I am such a big simp for Binnie, so here we are. I also love different AUs, and Hogwarts is by far one of my favourites. And with the recent controversy of the stupid game coming out, this is a better way to indulge in the HP universe without supporting Transphobia and Antisemitism, so I hope you enjoy!

Everybody, look how cute he is

“Oh no, she’s crying...” Jeongin sighed, a look of sympathy washing over his features as the boys watched Hyunjin reject yet another confession.

They were sat at their usual table in the library, when a sweet hufflepuff girl came up to the group and asked to speak with Hyunjin privately, a normal occurrence for the Slytherin boy, as many girls and guys alike fell for his pretty visuals.

“Its always the worst when they end up crying...” Felix frowned, “It makes me feel so bad for them.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Chan hums in agreement, looking down at the table, “Like you know its for the best and you turn them down gently, but still...”

Hyunjin then gave an apologetic bow to the girl and made his way back over to the table. He sat, letting out a deep sigh and brushing his hand through his hair.

“Well?” Jisung said, leaning his chin on his fist, “What happened?”

“She told me how she grew feelings for me recently and how she couldn’t stop thinking about me, which is sweet. She even wrote me a poem...” Hyunjin explained, taking out a folded pink piece of paper from his pocket. However, he didn’t open it, instead he placed it the middle of his potion book and closed it, “I let her down as gently as possible, and she said she understood, but I could see her holding back tears.”

“oh man...” Seungmin winced, scratching the back of his head, “So she was really into you, huh... That’s almost worse.”

“I do not envy you guys.” Changbin scoffed, shaking his head before focusing back on the potions assignment they had due tomorrow, “Being a heart-breaker would be too stressful for me.”

And for the most part, Changbin meant it; the uncomfortable and guilty feelings his friends felt whenever someone would confess their feelings to them and the awkward apologizing for not loving someone back was something Changbin couldn’t imagine himself doing.

But deep down, he wished that maybe someone would someday confess to him; how embarrassing that out of his whole friend group, he’s the only one who has never been asked out before! Sure, he’s dated, but he always made the first move, always was the one pining after someone else. Maybe once, he’d like to be sought after too?

“It’s okay, she’ll get over it eventually.” Chan said, writing on his own assignment, “I’ll talk to her later tonight in the common room about it.”

“I doubt she wants to talk to you, Channie.” Minho said and rolled his eyes, “I know you’re head of Hufflepuff and you’re supposed to look out for your housemates, but she’ll probably still be a bit sensitive about it.”

“fair point, I’ll just let her be then.” Chan hummed, the boys finally getting back to work on their assignment, since the looming deadline was more important than talk of a rejection.

--------

You sat reading a book in the ravenclaw common room, snuggled up in the corner of the love seat with a cup of tea when the rowdiness of boys stumbled in. You glanced up to see Felix, Chan, Jisung and Changbin enter, seemingly laughing at the conversation the must had been having on the way here. When Jisung caught your gaze, he smiled.

“Oh hey (Y/N)! Sorry if we are bothering you!” He apologized and plopped down on the couch across from the fireplace. The other boys followed suit and sat down next to Jisung, “We’re just gonna hang out here for a bit if that’s okay?”

Jisung was a very good head of house; sure his thought process was pretty odd, but he always was taking in new information and trying to take good care of the rest of his house.

You nodded, before glancing at Felix, who smiled sweetly and waved to you; you shyly waved back focusing back on your book.

Out of the two Australian Hufflepuffs, you were more acquainted with Felix; He spent a lot of time in the great hall, handing out the baked good he made on the weekends. He also sat next to you in charms, to which he was very friendly and kind. He made sure to always say hello whenever he saw you, which you appreciated.

“So as I was saying,” Jisung huffed, before continuing whatever the boys were talking about previously. You didn’t listen much, opting to continue reading and minding your own business; however, that became increasing difficult when Changbin started speaking.

You caught yourself stealing glances at the dark haired Gryffindor from over the top of you book, feeling giddiness bubble up inside whenever he would smile or push his bangs out of his eyes.

You knew it was silly; you barely even spoken to Changbin, besides a simple greeting, yet his presence made you feel anxious. He was handsome and kind, very smart and passionate about the things he cared about. You’ll never forget the day you had heard him talking with Chan over quidditch, the conviction and intensity he had in his voice quite frankly made you feel nothing short of inspired.

So you may have grown a crush on Changbin. A secret one that nobody would ever get to know about. You would listen at look from afar, but it was just too much for you to ever even dream of actually being with him. Besides, he knows plenty of students; he probably doesn’t even really know who you are, so your chances were at zero.

But still, you though about him, what it would be like to go on a date with him. What it would be like to have him talk about you with the same passion and spirit. To be able to kiss him...

You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought, lifting your book so it covered your flushed face. Suddenly the boy’s conversation switched to something more serious, and you felt your ears perk up as you listened.

“So what about that girl and Hyunjin today?” Felix said before shaking his head pitifully at the rug, “It’s really unfortunate cause I know that exact feeling.”

“The feeling of the girl being rejected or Hyunjin having to reject her?” Jisung said, earning a shove from Chan. Did a girl confess to Hyunjin today? You suddenly felt bad, even though you weren’t there or knew who it was.

“Hyunjin of course,” Chan said and rolled his eyes, “We’ve all been there when we had someone confess to us...”

“Well, all except Binnie here!” Jisung teased, nudging Changbin, who rolled his eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Had Changbin never been asked out? That’s impossible! Everyone knew that the group of eight boy were basically the school’s crushes; He would have had to have dated dozens of-

“Make fun of me all you want,” Changbin folded his arms across his chest and leaned back into the couch, “I may have never been asked out, but I also don’t have to deal with that awkward, sticky situation of telling them you don’t like them back.”

No way Changbin really had never been asked out?! You could have sworn there had to be at least one person who has asked him out.

The more you though about it, the more you realized that you couldn’t think of a single person who you knew had. You couldn’t even think of someone who had a genuine crush on him, and not just praised him for his visuals (well, besides you of course...)

“It doesn’t make you sad, does it?” Felix asked, voice full of concern. Changbin sat quietly for a moment before pursing his lips and shifting in his seat. You caught yourself not even holding your book open anymore, hands folded in your lap waiting to hear his answer.

“I mean, it would be really nice to be sought after, sure.” Changbin mumbled before shaking his head and scoffing, “But there is stress that comes with it too, so I’m okay for now.”

“It’s really not all that its cracked up to be, so you’re not missing out much.” Chan said and patted him on the back. They were silent for a moment, before Chan stood and stretched his arms over his head with a yawn, “Anyways, I should get going to bed, I have a test tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah us too,” Felix nodded, standing from his spot and grasping Changbin’s hand to help him up, “See you boys tomorrow!” As Felix, Chan and Changbin turned to leave, you met their gaze, causing you to embarrassingly wave goodbye to them, praying they don’t bring up you’re eavesdropping. Lucky for you, them smiled and waved back, before leaving your common room to just you and Jisung.

“I’m gonna go to bed too,” Jisung said out loud, turning to you, “Are you gonna stay out here or can I put out the fire?”

“Oh yeah, I better get to bed too,” You said meekly and stood up, book in hand as you went to the staircase.

“Good night (Y/N).” Jisung hummed, to which you quietly sputtered out a ‘good night’ in response and darted up the stairs.

You ran to your room, closing the door behind you, mind still on Changbin and the shock of him not being asked out or confessed to.

It made your nerves all jittery as you laid down on your bed, staring at the ceiling; suddenly, a thought popped into your head that made you smile.

Yes, it was perfect.

---------------

“What do you have in your hand?” Jeongin asked, pointing at the small red box Changbin was carrying as he arrived at their usual table in the library. His cheeks were flushed almost as red as the box and his smile was so big his cheeks puffed out.

It had been a couple of days since the Hyunjin rejection, and everything was how it normally was. That is until Changbin was returning to his dorm after a class and almost tripped over something in front of his door; he couldn’t believe it! was it really...?

“Oh nothing, just a gift from...” Changbin began coyly, suddenly slamming a note down on the table with a happy laugh, “My secret admirer!”

The table was in shock, some of the boys cheering, while other were quick to try and grasp for the note; Until the sharp shushing of a nearby professor, that is. The boys relaxed a bit, shifting in their seats as Changbin sat down setting the gift down on the table.

“What’s in the box?” Minho asked, reaching for the box and opening it to reveal six homemade-looking chocolates, decorated with caramel hearts and various coloured sprinkles.

“Dibs!” Jisung cheered before reaching out to grab one, only for his hand to be swatted away by Changbin. He covered the chocolates, closing the box back up and pulling it closer to him.

“You guys don’t get them, they’re for me!” Changbin pouted, clutching the box to his chest, “The note doesn’t say ‘to Changbin and all of his friends’, now does it?”

“What does the note say?” Seungmin asked, nodding to the folded white note in Changbin’s hand. The Gryffindor, unfolded the letter, reading the contents out loud:

Dearest Changbin,

Hello.

I watch you from afar every day and I know how much you like the chocolate from Honeydukes. But to make my gift as special as you are, I melted it into something new and decorated it myself. I hope you like them as much as I like you <3

Your Secret Admirer

Changbin’s face flushed re-reading the message, feeling his heart flutter. It wasn’t everyday someone gave him a gift, especially not of something he really liked.

“Who gave this to you?” Hyunjin asked, grinning at the excitement and giddiness in Changbin’s features.

“I don’t know,” Changbin hummed, smile still on his face as he looked over the note once more, “I found it outside my door after Care For Magical Creatures.”

“Good for you, Bin!” Chan said with a smile, ruffling Changbin’s hair like a proud parent before looking over at the note, “I really wonder who it is, though...”

“That’s not important right now,” Felix said, crossing his arms on the table and laying his chin down onto them, “What’s important is how happy they made you feel dude.”

The boys then started to tease Changbin, pinching at his cheeks and shoving his shoulders with chuckles and a string of ‘ooo’s.

You steal a glance from a few tables away, feeling the heat creep up your face at their reactions. You didn’t think Changbin would show his friends your letter, so it was a bit embarrassing; but you didn’t really mind that much, as they didn’t seem like the type to make fun of you for it.

Besides, it was worth all the hot, long hours you spent trying to heat and cool that damn chocolate to see the look on Changbin’s face. It was cute to see how excited he was, ears red and pretty smile seemingly stuck to his face. You decided you wanted to see it again and again and again. You decided he should smile like that everyday, so you began to brainstorm your next idea to make him smile like that again.

----------

“Ow! son of a bitch...” You cried out, sucking the blood that was pooling at the tip of your finger from the prickly thorns of the rose you were preparing. The bundle of soft lavender roses was almost complete, but the thorns were proving to be a pain in the ass.

You instinctively tapped your finger a few times on the pad of your thumb before going back to work. You felt nervous, as you were out in the greenhouses where anyone could just waltz in and catch you; you wanted to finish quickly. Not to mention Changbin would be finishing quidditch practice soon, and you wanted to deliver this gift before he was done.

“Okay that’s good...” You mumbled to yourself before pulling out a red ribbon and tying it around the stems creating a lovely bouquet. You then read over the note once more and slipped in in the ribbon as well. Looking at your handiwork one last time before deciding it was good enough, you stood and approached the quidditch field. You awkwardly tried to hide the purple bouquet in the folds of your robe, even though there wasn’t anyone out to see you; but better safe than sorry.

The weather today was bit chillier than expected, the autumn season coming to a close. It would soon be winter, which was good in its own respect; sure, autumn was beautiful, with the colourful leaves popping against the dull grass and skies, but winter meant powdery snow, warm drinks by the fireplace and cuddling up with someone on the coldest mornings.

that last one you definitely thought about from time to time...

You could hear shouts and the swishing of brooms as you finally got to the quidditch field. You hid by the entrance, peaking your head around the corner just in time to see Changbin neatly block the quaffle from going in, catching it effortlessly before nonchalantly tossing it to another Gryffindor player.

He look so handsome, drenched in sweat, cocky grin adorning his face as he floated like an angel in the sky. You could stay there for hours watching him play, but you had a job to do.

You moved farther from the field, finding the quidditch pitch and entering quickly; You were lucky that there wasn’t anyone changing at that moment, cause you couldn’t even think to check before entering. You looked around, trying to located Changbin’s stuff quickly before getting caught snooping around.

luckily it wasn’t too hard, as you recognized the sneakers he wore everyday in front of a bulky duffle-bag. You gently placed your bundle of flowers on top of the bag, finishing with a few adjustments to make sure it was set up perfectly. And just as quickly as you entered, you scampered away not slowing down until you were a good hundred feet away from the field.

You took a deep breath, feeling all your nerves on edge as you quickly pulled out the same book you’ve been reading recently and flipped to the page you were on. You planned to be sitting in the grass on the way to school, that way you would be able to see the smile on Changbin’s face that you adored so much.

You tried to steady your breathing, wanting to appear as relaxed and natural, but inside you were screaming. You felt nervous, but also excited.

Around ten minutes had passed, when suddenly you felt someone lean down beside you and sit with you in the grass. Startled, you look at the figure beside to you reveal Felix, beaming a smile almost as bright as the sun.

“Hey (Y/N)! What’s up?” Felix greeted. You made note of the place in your book before closing it and facing Felix.

“Nothing much, just reading.” You answered, trying you best to sound casual and calm. But inside, you were freaking out. Why was Felix with you? And what about Changbin!? What if he comes while Felix is with you? It ruined your whole plan!

“Cool, I’m waiting for Changbin and Jeongin.” Felix explained, glancing down his watch before looking back at you, “They should be done practice soon.” You hummed, turning to look in the direction of the field.

“Mind if I chill with you while I wait?” Felix asked, to which you nodded and you sat quietly, while Felix began to talk about the Charms class the two of you shared.

You really tried to pay attention to what Felix was talking about, but your mind was glued on Changbin and the roses. Would he like them? Was the note you wrote too forward? Would he show the boys he played quidditch with or not?

You were snapped out of your daze by the sound of fast footsteps and a shout of excitement that sounded a bit too familiar. You looked at Felix, who shrugged at you, before looking in the direction of the footsteps to see Changbin running up the hill with a tired looking Jeongin trying to catch up.

“Felix? Felix!” Changbin cheered, waving the roses in his hand, beaming with joy, “I got another one!” You felt your nerves be replaced with butterflies, feeling a bit relieved that Changbin seemed to like the gift.

“Another what?!” Felix hopped up, approaching his friend who ran straight into him, knocking the two of them to the ground and almost crushing you in the process.

They both let out a fit of giggles before Changbin sat up, and showed off the roses you spent almost an hour cutting and pruning for him. His hair was still sweaty and tousled, and he had dry dead grass on his shirt from the fall, but you couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful he had ever looked.

“My secret admirer! They gave new a new gift and a new note!” Changbin squealed, laying back in the grass and clutching the bouquet and note to his chest. Jeongin finally arrived, huffing and puffing before sitting in the grass beside Changbin, lightly kicking the older boy’s shoulder.

“Was it really necessary to run?” He pouted, clutching his stomach like he was gonna puke.

“What does this note say?” Felix asked, reaching for the note, only for Changbin to jerk his arm away so Felix couldn’t grab it.

“None of your business!” Changbin barked, before letting out a breathless chuckle. Felix frowned, crawling on top of the Gryffindor boy to wrestle for the note, to which Changbin easily gave up, opting to gently brush his fingers against the lavender roses.

Felix began to open the note, before glancing at you and closing it up again with a pout. You blinked a couple times at Felix before realizing he didn’t want you to see the note (as if you didn’t write it; but to be fair he didn’t know that). You quickly avert your gaze down to the grass as Felix read the note silently. Jeongin was quick to move over to Felix and read it as well over his shoulder; it was fine, you already knew what it said:

Dearest Changbin,

It’s me again. I hope you enjoyed the chocolates! These aren’t nearly as tasty as my last gift, but they are much more pretty.

Flowers are used to convey feelings and meanings. Do you know what lavender roses mean? They represent love at first sight or enchantment. And you have definitely enchanted me! Every time I see you, I feel like I fall in love all over again.

I hope you enjoy these flowers, they are almost as beautiful as you! (you could use something that smells nice after practice anyways <;3)

Your Secret Admirer

“How cute!” Felix gushed, grinning at Changbin who was still playing with the flowers like some sort of lovesick puppy. Your face flushed at Felix’s comment, feeling a bit embarrassed, but also relieved he reacted positively.

“This one is a bit more forward than the last one, huh?” Jeongin suggested, smirk on his face as he folded up the note and handed it back to Changbin. He opened it again, rereading it and smile growing with ever passing second.

You wanted to explode when you saw his reaction; his ear flushed and his nose crinkled cutely as Changbin let out a silly giggle.

“Oh, (Y/N), just so you know what’s up, Changbin has a secret admirer.” Felix explained and you tried your best to try and act like this was news to you.

“You seem pretty happy about it..?” You timidly asked, shyly looking at Changbin. He shifted so his elbows rested under him, holding his head and shoulders up. You secretly were just trying to find out if he really like it or he was feeling pressured, as you remember him mentioning that.

“Its nice...” He mumbled, little grin on his face before he sighed and looked over the note again, “I just wish I knew who it was...”

“(Y/N), you wouldn’t happen to have a clue to who Changbin’s secret admirer is? Maybe one of the ravenclaw kids?” Felix asked, causing the three boys to look at you; Changbin blinked expectantly at you, making you look away and shaking your head no.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t heard anyone mention anything.” You answered, which was technically the truth. After all, you haven’t talked to anyone about being his secret admirer.

Changbin sighed, laying back in the grass before pulling gently at the petals on one of the roses, rubbing in between his fingers. He smiled to himself before sitting up.

“I guess it doesn’t matter, I’ll just have to figure it out myself.” He hummed, a newfound determination in his voice., “With whatever little clues I get, I will find out who it is!”

“You sound serious.” Felix chuckled, “I guess we’ll have to try and help you figure it out too.”

You felt nervous about that; sure, you thought you were pretty inconspicuous about revealing details of who you are (basically none), but the idea that all eight boys would be trying to find out the identity of the secret admirer made you anxious.

Changbin hummed in agreement before finally sitting up and brushing the stray bits of grass out of his hair. You secretly wished it could have been you who brushed your hands through his hair...

“Well, we should probably get going. I have to shower before dinner.” Changbin said, gently setting the bouquet down in the grass before smoothing out his dress shirt.

You watched, hands folded over the book in your lap and Changbin helped Felix stand up, while Jeongin followed suit. Changbin picked up the bouquet again, clutching it fondly to his chest with a bright grin. He then turned his attention to you, catching you off guard.

“See you around, (Y/N).” He hummed and you swore you felt your heart stop. This might have been the first time he mentioned you by name and honestly, it surprised you that he even knew it.

“Y-yeah! for sure...” You stammered, waving at Changbin as the boys left, leaving you alone in the grass.

----------

“Wow! The first snow of the season!” Jisung gushed, pressing his cheek up against the cool window to get a look outside, “It so pretty out!”

Chan, Jisung, Felix and Changbin were once again in the ravenclaw common room, just relaxing and spending some time together after a long week of school.

With the winter coming closer and quidditch season ending, they spent a lot more time in the common room that usual, which you definitely didn’t mind; You just “happened” to be there most nights too, reading up on your book or studying for upcoming tests, but above all else, wanting to be around Changbin.

It had been a few weeks since your last gift to him, since you wanted the next one to be something special. You spent a lot of time thinking about what exactly you wanted to give him; most things you thought of didn’t seem special or good enough to give someone as special as Changbin.

“You can see the big puffy flakes falling down!” Felix exclaimed, smile bright as he squished beside Jisung to see out the window. You watched the boys with a small grin, stirring the tea you had and trying not to giggle at how cute they looked.

“Come look Bin, you always love the first snow.” Chan said, waving over Changbin who sat on the floor at the coffee table by the sofas, seemingly focused on something else.

“Yeah in a minute,” He hummed, playing with a white piece of paper. You watched him unfold it and fold it again and again, flipping it over, rubbing it between his fingers, deeply analyzing it. He was sitting cross-legged, dark shaggy hair messily covering his forehead and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He looked handsome when he focused so much, but what was he looking at?

“Binnie, why are you still looking at that note?” Jisung sighed, coming back over Changbin and sitting beside him.

Note? He was looking at your note..?

“Because,” Chagnbin sighed, setting it back down on the table brushing his hands through his hair before leaning back, “I haven’t gotten another note for weeks now...”

It hurt you to see him look so defeated, and you promised yourself you would never let him go this long without a note again. You felt guilty, but you just wanted to give him the best gift you could, so maybe it was worth it..?

“Awe, don’t worry dude!” Felix comforted, sitting down on the other side of him and wrapping his arm around him, “I’m sure they just have something cooler prepared that takes more time.”

“what if they don’t like me anymore..?” Changbin sighed weakly, biting his bottom lip and picking up the note again, holding it gently.

You wanted to scream at him that it wasn’t true, and that he was silly for even thinking that, but you held back. You had to give him a new note and a gift now, so you needed to keep this charade up for a bit longer. You took a sip from your tea and flipped a page in your book, trying to not look like you were listening except you were fuming inside.

“Nonsense!” Chan huffed, coming to sit across from them, “Listen, I don’t know why it’s been so long since you got a note, but I’m sure your secret admirer has their reasons. Maybe they are scared you don’t like the notes and gifts. Maybe they have something big prepared like Felix said. Maybe they did give you something but it got lost or taken. My point is, the least likely scenario is them not liking you.”

“I mean, maybe....” Changbin said flatly, looking at the note in his lap sadly. The sight broke your heart and you suddenly felt like such an idiot. Changbin shook his head and set the note back on the table, “I don’t know. I just... I hope you guys are right.”

“Of course we are right,” Jisung said simply, patting Changbin on the shoulder reassuringly, “What reason would this person have to suddenly not like you? none! And there is so much to like about you, right guys?!”

Chan and Felix nod in agreement, trying desperately to cheer the dark haired gryffindor up. He let out a weak smile at his friend’s efforts, but looked back down at his lap sadly.

“Thanks guys...” He said softly, folding his hands in his lap and playing with them, seemingly defeated.

That sad look was the last straw for you; feeling like you wanted to cry at the sight, you got up quietly and left the common room, determined to get a gift for Changbin now.

Luckily for you, you had the perfect idea after hearing the boys talking earlier.

It was freezing out, the crunch of fresh fallen snow under your shoes as you walked outside. As much as you hated being out here without a coat, you were fueled by the need to make Changbin smile.

Using a spell you had learned a few years ago, you were able to gather up the freshly fallen snow from the sky, catching it in a crystal ball to make a snow globe of sorts. You would have loved to make an ornate stand for it, but it was almost curfew and you needed to get this to Changbin by tonight. The ball by itself would have to do; besides, maybe Changbin would like it more this way. Being able to roll it around to see the first snow of the year whenever seemed like something he would prefer to just shaking it like a normal snow globe.

Coming back inside and dusting yourself off, you try to neatly and hastily write out a note for him, trying to convey your feelings with every quill stroke. You re-read it, making sure it was perfect before folding it up and carrying your stuff back towards the common room. The only problem now, was there was no wrapping or box you had with you to put it in. And how would you be able to give it to him without him knowing it was from you?

Maybe you couldn’t give it to him tonight. If they just weren’t in the common room, you could sneak up to your room to be able to wrap the orb quickly, but going through the common room with them there was impossible to not be seen. Would tomorrow be better? But the idea of Changbin going to bed disheartened and sad made you feel heartbroken. There was no way you could wait to give it to him but-

“Hey (Y/N) what is that?” Jisung asked, standing out in the hallway right outside of your common room, with Changbin. The two of them had an armful of baked goods from the kitchen.

You freeze in place, feeling like you’ll be sick. You had both of them staring at you for a moment, looking down at the open globe in your hand and the note and you were speechless.

You were done for.

“It’s.. uhmmm...” You mumble, but Changbin is quick to notice the white note in your hand and snatches it from you in a moment.

“It’s from my secret admirer!” Changbin squealed, face lighting up as he unfolds the note and reads it. As he reads through the note, his face grows brighter and brighter and you can’t help but smile back at him, even though your knew you were fucked.

“What does it say?!” Jisung screamed, trying to read it too. He quickly grabbed it from Changbin and began reading it out loud.

Dearest Changbin,

Let me apologize for the long wait for this gift. I was trying to find something special and meaningful to give you to be able to show my love for you, so it took longer than expected. I promise to show you my love more thoroughly from now on.

I have gathered the first snow of the season for you, wanting you to always have a precious and magical moment on hand whenever you need it. Every moment I spend thinking about you is precious and magical for me.

I hope you enjoy this gift, I know how much you love the first snow of the year <3

Your Secret Admirer.

You felt your face heat up as Jisung read your note out loud, not thinking about how cheesy it sounded until it came out of his mouth.

“(Y/N)! Explain yourself!” Jisung shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

Shit, I guess it’s time to come clean and confess. You felt sick to your stomach at the idea of telling Changbin to his face that it’s been you all along, but here goes-

“Yeah (Y/N)! Where did you find this? Did my secret admirer give it to you to give to me?!” Changbin said, face serious, yet he was absolutely dead wrong about the situation. But you felt a weight lift off your shoulders as you would be able to sway them away from suspicion of you.

“No, I found it out here sitting by the wall.” You said as nonchalantly as possible, giving Changbin the snow globe. He quirked his brow at the clear crystal ball, before giving it a shake and seeing the snow inside appear and whirl to life. His face softened and he smiled fondly at the small ball.

“I didn’t see who left it, but I didn’t want it to break or be kicked, so I was coming to bring it to you.” You said, gazing at Changbin’s gleeful state and stifling a smile. At least the plan was a success, even if this isn’t what you had in mind.

“See? We told you they were waiting to give you something special buddy!” Jisung said, shaking Changbin’s shoulder before wrapping his arm around his friends and looking back to you, “Thank you (Y/N) for the delivery!”

“Yeah, thank you (Y/N).” Changbin hummed softly, his smile warm enough to melt away the cold you experienced going outside without a jacket. You felt your face heat up as you looked into Changbin’s eyes. He broke eye contact first, looking back down at the ball fondly.

“Of course.” You whispered, feeling like every cell in your body would burst at this moment from a whole conglomerate of feelings.

“Alright lover-boy, lets get these snacks back to the boys.” Jisung said and pulled on Changbin’s arm. They boys departed towards the common room before Jisung called back to you.

“Aren’t you coming too, (Y/N)?”

“Right! Yes, of course.” You confirmed and scurried to catch up to the boys, releasing the deep breath you didn’t know you were holding.

How you avoided being found out was a mystery. Blame it on the brainlessness of boys....

---------

“(Y/N), do you have the notes from Friday?” Felix asked, tugging at the arm of your robe, “Chan spilled water in my bag by accident and ruined mine, so if I could just borrow them to make a copy, I’d really appreciate it.”

It was a week later, and you had been racking your brain for what your next gift to Changbin would be. You weren’t exactly sure how much longer you should stay secret, but the thought of actually confessing made you feel sick.

But for now, you had more important things to focus on, like school; more specifically the class you were currently in.

“Yeah, totally!” You answered Felix, digging through your bag for your notes and handing them to him, “Sorry, my hand-writing is a bit messy...” He dismissed you, flipping through the pages before frowning.

You stiffened when you realized a moment too late what you had just done.

“Your handwriting looks... familiar.” Felix said chewing his bottom lip until it clicked where he recognized it from. Felix gasped before tugging at your arm once again, “This looks like the love letters Changbin’s been receiving! Are you-”

You quickly hushed the boy, feeling your face heat up. Fuck.

Felix calmed down a bit before whispering “Are you Changbin’s secret admirer?”

Felix looked at you expectantly. It would be fruitless to lie to him at this point; you could tell he wouldn't believe you even if you tried.

“You can’t tell anyone, especially not him.” You whispered back feverishly, feeling sick to your stomach. How silly of you! Of course Felix would recognize your handwriting, it was obvious. And with how excited he always seemed about the situation, of course he would have looked at the handwriting on the notes a lot.

You felt like you were going to pass out.

“I promise I wont tell him!” Felix said seriously, before giggling like a school girl, “(Y/N), that’s so cute! How long have you like him? You should have asked me to set you up! Also-”

“Felix, can we talk about this in a place that’s not so public...” You whined, looking around the crowded classroom. You suddenly felt exposed, like everyone was looking at you and like everyone knew, because it wasn’t just your little secret now.

“Of course, of course.” Felix said and turned back to his work, but only for a moment to scribble out a note and pass it to you, without lifting his eyes from his assignment.

He talks about the notes all the time, you know. You make him really happy :)

The corners of your lips quirked up, before you mumbled out a shy ‘good’ and focusing on your work again. You were stressed about someone finding out, but at least it was Felix out of all people. You knew he wouldn’t tell, no matter how excited he got because Felix wasn’t the type to break a promise.

But still, you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread in your chest.

Class seemed to drag on, but the moment it ended you quickly packed up and tried your best to leave the classroom without having to talk to Felix about your little crush. It was bad enough that Felix found out, but you didn’t want to get into details with him about your feelings. So you fled, trying to get away as fast as possible.

However, you weren’t so lucky, having Felix corner you in the hallway and drag you off to the entrance hall for some privacy. Great...

“Okay you have to tell me everything!” Felix gushed, not letting go of your arm. You frown and chew your lip nervously, feeling incredibly embarrassed about the whole situation. You stood silently, looking at the floor as if you were guilty and in trouble for something.

“It’s okay (Y/N)...” Felix said softly, coaxing you to look up at him. He grinned at you encouragingly, “I won’t tell anyone, I just want to know.” You took a deep breath before letting out a heavy sigh. He wouldn’t leave you alone until you told him about your feelings for Changbin, so you might as well get it over with.

“I don’t know when I started liking him. Since I first saw him I think.” You began, feeling the heat rush to your face. You weren’t able to look at Felix, so you just stared at the floor, fiddling with the edge of your tie.

“I overheard you guys talking about how he never got asked out one night in the common room and I wanted to change that, but asking him out seemed too scary... So I decided to be his secret admirer instead.” You finished simply, rubbing the nape of your neck. Felix stood silently for a moment, lips pursed as he thought. He let go of you, folding his arms over his chest.

“Its the muscles right?” He finally said, smirking at your embarrassed state, “You find his muscles attractive and that’s why you like him, right? I can’t say I blame you though, They are quite a sight...”

“What? No! That’s not the reason!” You stammered out a bit too loudly, eyes shooting up to see Felix’s smug expression. God you wanted to punch him right now.

“I mean, he is handsome and his muscles are cool and all....” You admitted, smiling to yourself as you thought about Changbin, “But I like how passionate he is. And how he’s kind and loyal. And how he’s a good friend above all else.”

“Awe, you’re smiling so hard!” Felix teased you, cooing at how flustered you were getting. He poked your cheek with his finger, smiling when you swatted his hand away, “You must be imagining him right now.” “Stop teasing me!” You groaned, pushing him away from you and covering your face with your hands. This was going to be unbearable now that Felix knew.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Felix apologized, reaching over to rub your shoulder. You glared at him, feeling sick to your stomach still.

“You should tell him it’s you though.” Felix suggested, before perking up as he got an idea, “Ask him to go on a date during winter break!”

“Are you crazy?!” You screeched. You shook your head disapprovingly, moving to go and sit down on the steps of the entrance hall. You placed your head in your hands and let out a tired sigh. Felix slowly sat beside you, placing his arm around you in comfort.

“I want to tell him, but I’m honestly scared to...” You confessed, looking up at Felix, who was listening to you intently. A sense of doom looms over you at the thought of confessing, “I mean, what if....”

“What if..?”

“What if he finds out its me and.... feels disappointed?”

“Why would he be disappointed if it was you?”

“Because, I’m me and he’s him!” You sighed exasperated. You didn’t know when you started crying, but you felt a tear drip onto your lap. You wiped it away with a sniffle, trying to calm down. Feelings you didn’t even know you had started arising and for some reason, talking to Felix made you feel comfortable to confide in him.

You look down at your shoes, bouncing your knee anxiously as you spoke, “He’s Seo Changbin! He’s cool and he’s popular because he’s the sweetest; he’s the guy that is never rude and he never leaves his friends alone. He always puts himself wholeheartedly into everything he does and he never gives up, no matter how unlikely things will work out for him. He’s such a good person!”

Felix listened to you ramble, nodding along and rubbing your back to hopefully sooth you. You hung your head and let out a sigh, like all the life in you was expelled with that one breath.

“And I’m me... I’m the loser who has no friends, who always has their nose in a book because it’s easy to be alone if I pretend it’s by choice. I have a crush on a guy I barely have spoken to and I wasn’t even sure knew of my existence until a few months ago! I keep to myself, always observing as if I’m the background character and he’s the main character.” You wipe your eyes one more time as you finish rambling, feeling the lump in your throat as you tried to calm down a bit more.

“The background character isn’t supposed to be with the main character. That’s not how stories go...” You finalize, clutching the sleeves of your shirt with a crestfallen expression.

You didn’t quite think about why you were so afraid to tell Changbin it was you, but now it all suddenly made sense. You didn’t feel that he would have feelings for a nobody like you when he was someone like him. It just didn’t seem possible for him to have any interest in you, that’s why being a secret admirer worked so well for you.

You could tell him your feelings without him being disappointed it was you who felt that way.

“Good thing this isn’t one of your silly stories then.” Felix said firmly, not looking over at you. He was still rubbing your back, his determined expression a stark contrast from his gentle movements.

“Listen (Y/N), I know it’s scary and I know you don’t feel like you’re enough, but I can assure you, you are.” Felix explained seriously. His expression softened a bit as he flashed you a small smile, “You are smart, and you’re kind. You’re clearly very thoughtful to do all for this for Changbin. He be a fool to not like you.”

“You have me to support you and cheer you on now. I’m telling you, as your friend,” Felix nudged you a bit at the word friend, trying to cheer you up out of your somber mood, “You should tell him it’s you.”

“I don’t know...” You hummed weakly, feeling like there were a thousand doubts and negative thoughts stirred up in your mind. It all seemed like something any good friend would tell someone to comfort them.

“It’s not fair to neither you nor Changbin that you’re choosing to cheat the both of you out of happiness over a ‘what if’.” Felix said simply, patting you back one last time before retracting his hand to lay in his lap.

Upon feeling his hand leave your back, you turned to look at Felix, with him staring directly back at you. His lips were pulled into a thin line, with his eyebrows furrowed in a stern, yet sympathetic expression before he finished, “Don’t let yourself sabotage your happiness like that.”

That seemed to spark a sense of hope in your chest, as you let your brain think on the concept for a moment.

It wasn’t fair of you to take away all possibility of Changbin being confessed to. It always made you happy to make him happy; so if Changbin finding out who his secret admirer was would bring him joy, it made sense you’d do everything in your power to make that come true.

Besides, you knew Changbin was kind, so if he did turn you down, it would be in the most polite way possible, which wouldn’t be so bad...

“I have to tell him.” You deduced after thinking in silence. Felix seemed to perk up at your change in attitude, grinning at your newfound resolve.

“I agree!” Felix said with a nod, “Whatever I can do to help, let me know!”

The cogs were already turning in your head, formulating a plan on how exactly what you were going to do and how you were going to do it.

------------------

Changbin hummed the tune he had stuck in his head all morning as he sat at his desk. Drumming his pencil against the edge of his potions textbook, he tried to focus on the current homework he had, but it was impossible at this point.

Changbin sighed, giving up on focusing and pulling open the drawer on his desk to pull out all the notes you had written him.

These days, all Changbin could think about was his secret admirer. The thought of them ran through his mind 24/7; what you looked like, what you sounded like, what kind of perfume you wore, what your favourite colour was, why you liked him. Who were you?

Re-reading the notes, he felt his face blush. It was refreshing for someone to care about him so much. He felt spoiled and couldn’t stop the grin on his face from creeping up, especially at the lines where you said you loved him.

He had read the notes over at least a thousand times by now. He could recite them by heart, noticed small things in the handwriting itself, like the way you crossed your ts or how you swoop the g more delicately while writing his name.

Changbin groaned, folding the notes back up and stuffing them in his desk drawer carefully. It had been a couple months since he first got one and he was no closer to figuring out who it was. Nobody seemed to act any differently around him since he started receiving the gifts, and he didn’t notice any lingering stares. Not to mention, he’d not been able to recognize the handiwork from either the gifts or the notes.

It all was so incredibly frustrating and disheartening to him. How was he ever going to figure out who it was if they never gave any clues away?

Changbin reached for the crystal ball you had gifted him from the top of his desk and rolled it around in his hands as he thought about if he’d missed any clues. The globe grew cold in his palms, snow whirling to life inside as he passed it between his hands mindlessly.

There was a sudden knock at his door that pulled him from his thoughts. He was about to yell and ask who it was when a piece of yellow parchment quickly slipped underneath the door. Changbin took a moment to realize what it was, before almost falling out of his desk chair.

Letters didn’t usually get sent to him directly (or anonymously) unless it was his secret admirer.

He snatched up the paper from his floor before beaming at the familiar way he was addressed at the top of the letter.

Dearest Changbin,

Hello. I am writing something a bit longer so please forgive no gift this time. However I think you’ll probably enjoy today more than any gift I’ve given you so far.

It must have been hard to try and figure out who I am from just my notes. I have meticulously crafted each one as to not give myself away. Even my gifts have everything to do with you and your preferences, and nothing to do with me! But I think you have suffered enough now. If you would like to, You can meet me today, face to face.

Changbin felt his heart stop at that sentence. He was really going to know the answer to the million dollar question. Changbin shook his head and went back to reading before he got to ahead of himself.

However, instead of telling you my identity outright, I think you’d much rather figure it out yourself with a series of clues. Finishing this little game would be so much more satisfying than just being told the answer, right?

So without further ado, your first clue: (to be fair, its more like instructions...)

You need to go to the library and you will find a book sitting on the table you usually sit at with your friends (The table in the corner by the windows). The book has a dark blue hardcover and golden-edged pages. It is my favourite one; I think I’ve read it over a dozen times and I have my own copy that you can borrow anytime :)

Inside the book is another note which has your next clue!

Good luck! I know you’ll figure it out soon, brilliant Changbin!

Your Not-So-Secret Admirer.

Changbin grinned at the playfulness of his secret admirer. It was hard to convey personality through writing a lot of the times, but they managed pretty well in Changbin’s opinion.

He slipped on his shoes excitedly, lacing them up tight before he folded the letter up and stuffed it in his pocket. He could feel the giddiness bubble up in his chest from the fun nature of this little treasure hunt.

He thought to grab his scarf and jacket too, just in case this little game lead him outside, he didn’t want to freeze before he got the chance to meet you.

He went out to the common room, going to make his way to the library when he was stopped briefly by his friend on the couch.

“Hey Bin, where are you headed?” Jeongin called to his housemate, standing up when Changbin barely spared him a glance.

“My secret admirer left me a treasure hunt,” He hummed happily. Jeongin insisted to come too for help, but Changbin simply waved the boy off, “I’ll tell you everything later!”

“Okay, but don’t stay out too late!” Jeongin called to Changbin as the older Gryffindor rushed out the door.

Changbin could only hear the rush of blood in his ears and the pounding in his chest as he weaved through countless stairs and hallways on his way to the library. He was feeling nervous, although the didn’t really think there was reason to be.

It was clear by now that you liked him a lot, yet he was worried about meeting you face to face. What would he say? What if he didn’t live up to what you expected of him?

Changbin wiped his palms on his trousers to hopefully try and aid the clammy feeling before he pushed open the doors to the library. He made a b-line straight to the table he usually sat at, but was surprised to see Chan and Jisung sitting there working on homework.

“Hey Changbin, you okay? You look like you ran here.” Chan chuckled, setting his quill down on the table.

Changbin barely spared either of them a glance, looking around the table for the book. When he couldn’t see it, he circled around the table, looking at the chairs pulled up against it with a huff.

“Uh... Bin? Hello?” Jisung called out to his friend, “What are you looking for?”

“A book.” Changbin said urgently, finally looking at his two friends when it seemed to be gone, “Its got a blue hardcover and gold pages and was supposed to be at our table.”

“Oh yeah, I think something like that was at the table before we got here.” Chan hummed, looking over at Jisung, “You put it away, right?”

Changbin felt his heart drop; this was not happening right now.

“Yeah, I moved it so we could study.” Jisung nodded, looking back at Changbin, who was mentally freaking out by now.

His one chance to meet you and figure out who you are and his idiot friends had to move the one thing he needed? He felt like he was going to scream.

“Where did you put it!?” Changbin asked anxiously, slamming his hands down on the table and making the other two boys jump in their seats.

“Relax!” Jisung cried, before turning to point at the library cart that sat about twenty feet away, “I placed it on the cart for re-shelving. It should still be there.”

“What is it?” Chan asked, as Changbin scurried off to the cart without answering. He looked through a few of the books on there before he spotted the one he was looking for on the bottom shelf. Changbin huffed out a sigh of relief, grabbing it from the cart and bringing it back to the table.

“Its a clue from my secret admirer.” Changbin answered; he felt exhausted after experiencing so much panic over almost loosing the book. He turned it over in his hands, opening the front cover.

The other two boys watched as he flipped through the pages before landing somewhere in the middle, where a white piece of paper stuck out of it. You also seemed to highlight the words on the page to create a simple message that read “you are my light”. Changbin felt a bit embarrassed about that, but he thought it was a sweet touch nonetheless.

He carefully unfolded the letter and took a deep breath before reading.

My Dearest Changbin,

Congratulations on finding the first clue! I hope it wasn’t difficult for you.

He smiled at the addition of “my dearest” when addressing him; it made Changbin’s heart flutter just a bit to think of being someones’ dearest...

You know what goes good with a book? Cookies and tea! I often like curling up with a good book, a gingersnap cookie and some chamomile tea in the evenings. The only thing that would make that experience better is if we did it together...

Changbin blushed at the thought of someone reading to him in the evenings; his head in your lap as you read him whatever you wanted. He could almost taste the flowery teas and freshly baked cookies and feel the softness of your fingers through his hair as you told him a story....

Focus Changbin! Focus.

Your next clue is in the kitchen! I made you some cookies and tea to enjoy before we meet. I wasn’t sure what you liked best, but luckily I had help with that!

You will meet a friend of mine there; You know him pretty well :)

He will have your next clue.

Good luck, I know you’ll figure it out soon, my brilliant Changbin

p.s. please bring the book with you, its my copy :p

Your (Even Less Of A) Secret Admirer

“Wait, you’re meeting them today?!” Chan exclaimed excitedly, leaning over the table to look at the note. Changbin lets the boys take the note to read it over as he flips casually through your book.

It was filled with annotations and other random notes in the margins. Things that you really liked, ideas the text made you have, even just things you felt or thought about in that moment. Whoever you were, you seemed like a very thoughtful and detailed person, which Changbin could appreciate

Jisung seems to recognize something in the writing, frowning as he finishes reading the note and then looking at the book in Changbin’s hands. It seemed oddly familiar to him....

“What book is that?” Jisung asks, peering cautiously at the cover. Changbin closed to book to look at the cover before shrugging.

“Don’t know, there isn’t a title on it. They probably have a dust jacket that goes over top with the title.” Changbin hummed, showing his ravenclaw friend the book.

“I think I have a guess on who your admirer is, Bin.” Jisung said nodding to himself as he looked back at the note in Chan’s hands. He grinned a bit as all the gears snapped into place.

“Who!?” Chan asked as he shot out of his chair. Changbin looked at Jisung expecting an answer, but he just shook his head playfully and sat back down. Changbin felt like he could explode right then from anticipation and he wanted to strangle Jisung for not spilling his thoughts; But deep down, he was also pretty glad Jisung didn’t say who he was thinking of.

It would have ruined the fun.

“It’s the gingersnaps and chamomile that gave them away. The book looked familiar, but if it’s who I think it is, they always have a cup of chamomile when they read.” Jisung revealed, before pointing down towards the bottom of the note, “But I wonder who this mysterious “friend” is?”

“The only way to know if for me to go find out.” Changbin said hastily, scooping up the note and putting it in his pocket with the letter from before, “Thank you for almost ruining everything and then fixing it again, I’ll see you guys later!”

“See you buddy!” Chan yelled to Changbin as the Gryffindor boy rushed away, onto the next location.

The kitchen was a bit of a walk, so Changbin had some time to speculate.

It annoyed him that Jisung seemed to know before he did, but that must mean the Jisung just knows the person better. Which wasn’t surprising to Changbin, since he was the head of his house and it was his job to know people. Maybe that meant they were a Ravenclaw?

And judging from your scribbly book, that was a good sign that he was right on that.

How many Ravenclaws did Changbin really know? All the members of the quidditch team, Jisung and most of the leaders and/or older Ravenclaws that the younger students depended on, and the few odd students he’d met in his classes. Not really narrowing it down too much...

Whoever you were, Changbin was starting to feel sick at the thought of meeting you. It made him nervous to think about what to finally say when you were standing in front of him.. It was very clear that you liked him a lot, and he wanted to have your first meeting be the best possible interaction. But what then? Would he go out on a date? He’d like to think so, but that could lead to complications...

What if you went and you realized you didn’t like him? The only person who has ever sought after him suddenly deciding they don’t want to be with him anymore made his heart ache.

But what if it went well? Changbin knew he had to do this. He had to know who you were and even if it ended terribly, he at least could look back at this time with fond memories.

That was the mindset Changbin had as he entered the kitchen, trying his best not to ruin anything the staff were working on. Through the window, he could see it started to snow outside, the soft powder floating through the air.

Sat next to the window on a stool, plate of cookies on the counter beside him, was someone Changbin didn’t expect to see.

“Felix? What are you doing here?” Changbin asked, walking up to his friend. He noticed two teacups sitting beside Felix, as the hufflepuff smiled at his friend dearly.

“Waiting for you, silly.” Felix hummed, pulling up a second stool beside him and patting it with his hand, “Come sit.”

“So you’re the mysterious “friend” of my secret admirer...” Changbin said simply, pulling the stool out to sit on it. Felix nodded with a ‘mmhmm’, focusing on pouring some tea into the teacup adjacent to Changbin.

He had so many questions for Felix swirling around in his head as he stared blankly at his friend; Did he always know? Was he pretending he didn’t know whenever he got a note and gift? And if he knew, why did he keep this information from Changbin?

As if he could read his mind, Felix said “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, and I can’t answer all of them.” The hufflepuff stirred some sugar into his own tea with a spoon, before setting it gingerly on the counter.

“What can you tell me?” Changbin asked, taking a sip of the tea. It was chamomile, like your note said; he grinned at the taste, somehow sweeter because it reminded him of you.

“For starters, I just figured out who it was a week ago, so I haven’t betrayed you for that long.” Felix chuckled, snatching a cookie from the plate and dipping it in his tea, “And believe me, I’ve wanted to tell you about a million times since I found out.”

Changbin grabbed a cookie and took a bite out of it, the rich, spiced flavours contrasting with the tea well. He gazed at his friend, feeling a bit on edge and antsy. He wiped the crumbs from his mouth with the back of his hand before speaking again.

“What-”

“Hold it right there buddy!” Felix quickly interrupts, excited grin growing on his face, “You’re aware this is sort of like a game right?”

Changbin nodded, not sure what the other boy was getting at.

“Well, I am only allowed to answer three questions.” Felix said, holding up his fingers to emphasize his point, “And you can’t ask outright who they are. Other than that, you can ask almost anything!”

Changbin took a minute to process the game, before scoffing to himself with a smile. Of course you wouldn’t just let Felix outright reveal your identity; not after all the work you put into this little treasure hunt Changbin was on.

“Choose your questions carefully.” Felix warned, leaning back and taking a sip of his tea to let Changbin have some time to think.

What he didn’t expect was the Gryffindor to stand up from his spot and start pacing, seemingly deep in thought. It was endearing he took this little game that seriously.

Changbin’s brain was racing a million miles an hour. He wanted to know everything about you, but what was the most important think to ask?

After a few moments, Changbin sat back down and took a deep breath. Relax. He was meeting you today anyways, so he should just ask what his instincts tell him to.

“Ready?” Felix asked nonchalantly, lacing his fingers together and placing his hands under his chin. Changbin nodded firmly, determination gleaming in his eyes.

“How do you know them?”

“I first met them in a class the two of us share. I sit beside them and we exchange notes for the class pretty regularly.” Felix answered, as directly as he could without being too obvious.

“Okay... that narrows the options.... What gift was their favourite to make or which were they most excited to give me?”

“That’s technically two questions in one, but I’ll allow it because I actually know the answer to both. They said they liked making the snowglobe best because it was a very special and magical process, but were most excited to give you the chocolates because it was the first gift.”

“They sound like they’re sweet...”

“They are.”

Felix stared expectantly at Changbin, “Last question?”

Changbin had a question in mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should waste the last question on something so pointless. But it was killing him and he needed to know the answer to the question he’d not been able to stop thinking about since this whole thing started.

“Why do they like me?” Changbin practically mumbles the last syllable, eyes glued to the window. He felt his face flush as he watched the snow fall softly.

It wasn’t that Changbin didn’t like himself; he liked to think he was pretty confident guy overall. But the gifts and the notes just seemed so special, he almost wondered why he deserved them more than who was giving them to him.

“They think you are kind.” Felix began, voice gentle as he looked at his friend fondly, “And they think you’re a good, loyal friend. And above all else, they love how you’re so passionate about the things you care about.”

“That’s why they like you.” Felix hummed finally, taking his focus away from Changbin to drink more tea.

Changbin felt like he was frozen in time. He wasn’t sure what he expected from the question, but he didn’t expect such deep and thoughtful reasons.

After a moment, Changbin was finally able to bring his gaze back to his friend, who was beaming back at him. Changbin couldn’t help feel bashful, his heart feeling like it was going to pound out of his chest as the corners of his mouth quirked up.

“I need to know who they are.” He said dreamily. Felix hummed, setting his teacup down before reaching into his robe. He gingerly pulled out a sealed white envelope and handed it to Changbin.

“This is for you. It’ll tell you where they are waiting for you.” Felix explained, as Changbin took the envelope and tore it open. Inside was a familiar looking white note.

My Dearest Changbin,

I hope you’re not mad at Felix from keeping my identity secret. He’s just being a good friend to me :p

Anyways, I’m sure you figured it out by now. And if you haven’t, that’s okay too. You’ll know soon enough.

Changbin felt like his entire body was asleep, tingling from head to toe. He could hardly handle the anticipation as he read your note.

I know you spend a lot of time with your friends in the Ravenclaw common room. I assume its your favourite spot to spend time, right?

Mine is the covered bridge that goes over the ravine; Sometimes I visit Sundial Garden too because it’s close, but I find the open airiness of the bridge helps me think.

I am waiting for you on that bridge. I hope to see you soon. <3

Your Patient Admirer

Your note basically confirms you as a ravenclaw student, as you mentioned seeing Changbin spend time in the common room. But that barely mattered now as he knew where you were and that you were waiting for him.

He folded the note up and put in in his pocket, Giving an expectant look to Felix.

“They said they are on the bridge over the ravine.” He mumbled, almost confirming it to himself. Felix nodded, expression playful and soft as he watched his friend be practically frozen in place.

“I...”

“Why aren’t you leaving, dude?” Felix asked, tilting his head slightly as he watched the Gryffindor tap his toe nervously

“I’ve wanted to know for months now, but I’m scared.” Changbin confessed, letting out a breathless laugh, “I don’t want to disappoint them...”

“I can guarantee you, that is impossible.”

“how can you be sure”

“Because!” Felix sighed exasperatedly, standing up and grabbing onto his friend’s shoulders, “How on earth could you possibly disappoint them when they adore you this much?”

“I don’t know!” Changbin huffed out, shaking his head before gazing at Felix, “I guess I’m just scared we’ll spend time together and they’ll realize they don’t like me...”

“Bin, you are sounding irrational.” Felix deadpanned, squeezing the gryffindor’s shoulders and slightly shaking him, “Don’t you want to know who it is? Don’t you want to at least try and be with this person?”

“More than anything.” Changbin said firmly. As afraid as he was, he was sure he wanted to at least try

“Then go!” Felix chuckled, pushing Changbin away from him, “Go. I promise, it’ll be okay!”

“You’re right.” Changbin hummed, pushing aside his doubts, “Thank you Felix.” Felix nodded, sending his friend off with a thumbs up and a ‘you got this!’ as Changbin dashed out of the kitchen and on his way to the covered bridge where you were waiting.

He wanted to figure out who you were before arriving, but he couldn’t seem to think of who his secret admirer could be. You had a class with Felix (not really helpful because Changbin only shared one class with Felix, where they sat together), You were a ravenclaw (there were thousands of ravenclaws), and you enjoyed tea and reading.

Not to mention, he also didn’t recognize the handwriting, so he’s never borrowed notes form you before...

The wind was howling a bit more now as the snow fell in big, wet puffs. Changbin felt glad he brought his scarf with him as he walked along the path towards the bridge.

You, on the other hand, should have looked into what the weather was supposed to be like. You leaned on the railing, looking out into the snow covered ravine, sniffling slightly as your nose was running.

You debated on going back inside, knowing that Changbin would have to walk through the clock tower to get to the bridge anyways; but that thought stopped when you noticed a figure in the distance from your peripheral

Oh god, what do you do? Should you approach him? No because that would mean you’s have to awkwardly walk towards each other and wait to say anything. But if you pretended like you didn’t see him, he might not think you were his secret admirer! But there was nobody else outside because it was cold and snowing so how could he possibly think it was someone else? Should you just turn to look at him? At least then you’d be addressing-

“Hi.” Changbin greeted shyly, sliding next to your spot on the railing to look out on the bridge.

Oh god.

“Hello.” You replied, chewing your bottom lip nervously, stealing a glace at the gryffindor. Were his cheeks red from the cold or because he was embarrassed?

“You found me.” You mumble meekly, catching the way Changbin’s face morphed into a grin.

“So it is you?” He chuckled, turning towards you and smiling. You turned to look at him properly, nodding and letting and awkward giggle out. You weren’t sure what to say to him in this moment.

“Wow.” Changbin said simply, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “had no idea it could have been you...”

Oh god.

He was disappointed.

You should have known to never confess. God you felt so stupid! Of course THE Seo Changbin would never-

“I mean, aren’t you way out of my league?” Changbin said with a grin, as your eyes shoot up to meet his. He held that expression he always had whenever he would receive a gift; smile so wide his cheeks poked out, nose slightly crinkled and eyes glittering. You found yourself smiling too.

“Me? I don’t think you have any idea how wonderful you are if you think I’m out of your league...” You joked boldly, immediately looking down at your shoes out of embarrassment. Changbin let out a giggle, feeling like he was on cloud nine.

It was you.

Changbin never even considered you an option when thinking about his admirer. You were diligent and soft spoken and definitely seemed like you’d never be interested in a loud, childish, muscle-head like Changbin. He always thought you were attractive, but he thought he never had a chance with someone like you.

So imagine his surprise when he walked onto the bridge and saw your figure in the distance; he felt like it had to be a prank. But the closer he got the more he could see you were nervous and that nobody else was around to scream ‘gotcha!’ .

It was you and Changbin couldn’t have felt happier.

“Thank you, for everything.” Changbin hummed, handing you your book back. When you grabbed it, he swore he felt a shock go through his body.

“I- uhmm...” Changbin stuttered, clearing his throat while looking at the ground. Changbin had never felt nervous like this before, but he willed himself to be brave and just speak his mind.

“Listen,” he began, looking back up at you to see your anxious expression. He couldn’t help but think you looked cute, “I have never felt as cared about as I do because of you. It seems almost impossible for me to ever come close to making you feel so loved... But I want to try.

“So, do you maybe want to head inside and we can talk some?” Changbin asked, looking at you expectantly, “Perhaps over a cup of tea in the Museum or astronomy room?”

“As a date..?” You asked teasingly, causing Changbin to scoff

“yeah, as a date silly.” Changbin laughed, shaking his head playfully at you.

“Sounds lovely.” You accepted giddily. With a burst of courage, Changbin slips his hand into yours, eyes widening by how cold you are.

“Oh, I’m sorry I kept you waiting out here for so long, you’re freezing!” He huffed out, hastily taking his scarf off to wrap it around you delicately. He tucked it into your coat, lightly brushing your cheeks with his thumbs; you swore you would faint as Changbin smiled at you wrapped up in his scarf.

You tried not to cheer out loud at his sudden carefulness. His scarf smelled like him and you knew that you’d have a hard time wanting to take it off, even when you got back inside.

This all felt like a dream...

You slipped you hand into his once more as the two of you walked back to the castle, where you swore you could die happy.

“Oh dear, he looks like he’s trying to play it off but you can tell he’s upset...” Minho winced, as the table watched Chan have to break the heart of a poor Slytherin boy.

You watched apologetically, instinctually grabbing at Changbin’s hand as his arm rest around your shoulder. He pulled you closer to him, pressing you against his side as he frowned at the exchange.

When Chan returned, he let out a sigh, slumping down in his chair.

“Asked you out?” Seungmin asked, to which Chan nodded weakly.

“Yeah, he said he wanted to take me out to honeydukes this weekend, but I politely declined.” Chan said simply, crossing his arms over his chest as he furrowed his brow, “He seemed a bit embarrassed. I hope he’s okay...”

“Oh man, that’s rough.” Jeongin hummed, tapping his pencil against the edge of his herbology textbook.

“I do not envy you guys.” Changbin scoffed, turning to look down at you endearingly as you snuggled closer to your boyfriend.

Changbin, your boyfriend.

The thought of it made you both giddy.

“Yeah well, lucky for you to have the only person confess to you be someone you liked back!” Jisung pouted, patting Chan on the back, “some of us have to be heart breakers!”

“Not me.” Changbin mumbled, grinning dreamily before placing a sweet kiss on your lips (and consequently causing the rest of the table to groan).

Maybe it was alright that Changbin didn’t really have people confessing their love to him all the time. It used to bother him, but now that he got to have you, he was happy to not be a heart breaker.

237 notes · View notes

use-your-telescope · 5 months

Text

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 8: You're Just Business

Summary: Loki confronts Theo about her avoidance of the other Avengers.

Author's Notes: Fun story/trivia about this song: In an interview with the Grammy Museum, it was revealed that some of the phrases in this first verse resulted from producer Tony Berg’s mishearing of Jon Foreman’s original lyrics: “You come ‘round like a prison ship” was misheard as “pirate ship”, and “You got a fist for a lower lip” was misheard as “fish.” Ultimately, the band decided to record the song with the mondegreens as the song’s final lyrics. I like to think that Theo was aware of this little tidbit and it led to part of why she chose this particular song.

Side note, would anyone be interested if I shared more of these goofy little trivia bits/non-spoiler reasons that certain songs appear at certain times (and maybe even captions that Theo might have posted with the covers)? I’d share them on tumblr as a little “behind the scenes” sort of thing.

I’m posting this a day early because tomorrow is the last day of helping my parents move, which also means saying farewell to the house I grew up in; I’m sure I’ll be all up in my feelings and distracted, so rather than risk missing my (self-imposed) deadline, I’m doing something wild and posting early.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: None?

Word Count: 5,314

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: I need you (to be wrong) - Switchfoot

You come 'round like a pirate ship You're just business You got a fish for a lower lip You're just business You're the parentless, nightmare kid You're just business You don't answer for any of this You're just business

The end of onboarding meant the return of lazy days off.

Other than the sound of a sleety-drizzle outside, it was probably quiet enough in the tower to hear a pin drop. Any reprieve from commotion could best be described as blissful, and not needing to peer around every corner so Theo didn’t run into the Avengers brought a different kind of relief.

In a normal day, Natasha and Steve were always the first to emerge, since they liked early morning training sessions. With how they timed their workouts, Theo typically had to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn just to have 30 minutes to get into the kitchen, make herself a cup of coffee, and then slink back to her corner of the tower or get the hell out, which meant going down to the hospital to get ready for work.

Then again, when Theo got back to her suite at night and heard the commotion and the raucous laughter echoing from down the hall, something painful twisted in Theo’s chest, making her miss her life before the Avengers. It didn’t help that ever since she visited Mémère, Theo caught herself weighing whether it was worth trying to make friends with anyone while she was here.

She hadn’t planned on staying with the group after her favor was done, so on the one hand she didn’t want to grow attached, then ditch them. On the other hand, now that she couldn’t see her other friends, life had become little more than work, which was a lonely way to live. And though she loathed to admit it, Loki’s visits and Julie’s perspective on the Avengers made Theo wonder if her trepidation was truly warranted.

Then again, the Avengers didn’t know the full extent of her history or her powers. Given the reactions from people who knew her sob story, she didn’t anticipate they’d like her very much if they learned the truth. That meant every social interaction felt like it required Theo to put on a show; every word, every action was a calculated risk. She’d been doing it for so long that it felt like second nature, but it didn’t mean she liked it.

However, none of her concerns around socializing mattered, at least for the time being. According to the side discussions before the most recent debrief, all of the Avengers had plans for the weekend which took them away from New York, so she had the entire tower to herself. Wanda and Vision snuck out on a weekend getaway to Maine, Tony and Bruce were presenting at some science conference in Switzerland (and Peter tagged along), the super soldiers agreed to help with an event for the US military down in DC, Natasha and Yelena decided to visit Clint and his family out at their farm, Shuri happened to be in Oakland, and Thor had gone to New Asgard for something. Theo assumed that Loki had gone with him, since he was also an Asgardian prince and all.

Regardless, Theo’s agenda for the day consisted of one thing: reading. A mountain of SHIELD reports loomed on Theo’s desk ever since she started, consisting of both recent and past missions that would hopefully provide the context she needed to offer her expertise on the shadow creatures. Even if she would have rather been marathoning Queer Eye or visiting Mémère, a rainy Saturday morning without anyone around seemed like just as good of a time as any to check the reports of her never-ending list of things to do.

But even before she dug into the stack of reports, she needed coffee.

Theo padded through the halls of the tower, relishing the echo of her footsteps and the lack of chatter filling the air. Upon entering the kitchen, Theo decided that rather than work her way through the reports in her suite, she’d indulge in a change of scenery and set up shop at the kitchen island.

After starting the coffee, Theo brought out her laptop and the pile of reports, scattering them across the breakfast bar for easy review. She placed her headphones over her ears, cranked up her music, and became so absorbed in reading about the fallout of Ultron and the Sokovia Accords that she forgot about the coffee brewing…

… She also failed to observe that she wasn’t the only one home.

A coffee mug appeared next to her out of seemingly thin air, to which Theo yelped and practically flew out of her seat.

“What the – “ she tore her headphones off and whirled around to find Loki standing there, holding his own cup of coffee. “Jesus, Loki, creep around much?”

“I was in no way creeping. Your decision to wear headphones impeded your ability to hear me.” Loki’s tone remained cool and unaffected as he took a sip of his own coffee, leaning back against the counter. “Perhaps you might demonstrate some gratitude toward me; after all, I prepared your coffee for you.”

“In my defense, I also didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one home – I thought you went back to New Asgard with Thor.” Theo protested, trying to ignore the searing heat that rose on her cheeks. She palmed the mug of coffee in one hand, glancing briefly at the swirls of steam rising from the ceramic cup.

“I’ve no reason to be in New Asgard at present.” He shrugged, before narrowing his eyes at Theo. “If you believed you were alone, why not use Stark’s audio system to listen to your music? It is not as if you would cause a disruption.”

“It’s a habit,” Theo shrugged casually, allowing her focus to travel to her new teammate. Unlike Theo, whose heart still pounded in her chest from the surprise, Loki's casual posture and amused expression left him looking cool as a cucumber, because of course he would. “Besides, high quality headphones have better sound quality than any stereo system Tony Stark could build – it’s easier to hear the nuance and little details in the recordings.”

Loki cocked a skeptical brow at her before sauntering over to the refrigerator. As he bent down to rummage through the contents, Theo took advantage of the opportunity to drink in the full sight of Loki in the mornings.

Loki’s Saturday morning attire was more relaxed than she had ever seen from him. Black joggers slung low on his hips and followed the line of his slim form, while a gray t-shirt clung to his torso and hinted at the toned muscle beneath. He pulled his black curls back into a loose bun, but left one strand hanging down to frame his face, highlighting a jawline that cut like glass.

For all the jokes Julie made, she wasn’t kidding about Loki’s attractiveness. But that was like saying the sky was blue - no one would question that a god was objectively attractive.

In comparison, he probably thought Theo looked a bit sloppy in her oversized sweatshirt and yoga pants, her own hair tossed up in what looked less like a bun and more like a rat’s nest…

Channeling her inner gremlin, as Max would say.

Loki turned around and caught Theo studying him.

“Are you enjoying the view?” He smirked.

“I’ve never seen you in anything remotely casual before,” Theo said, mirroring his expression. “Looks good on you.”

Loki hummed, something devilish twitching on his lips to match the glint in his eye. “I should hope so.”

Theo rolled her eyes. Of the many traits Loki held, humility did not seem to be high on the list. Then again, Theo knew that if she was that attractive, she wouldn’t be humble about it, so it wasn’t like she could hold that against him.

Instead of feeding Loki’s ego, Theo returned her attention to the Sokovia report. She knew herself well enough to know if she didn’t make substantial progress on the reports that day, she would never catch up.

However, Loki either did not get the hint that Theo wanted to be left to work or he chose to ignore it, positioning himself across the island from Theo. With each passing moment, Theo felt his burning stare intensify.

“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll hit you over the head with a chair.” Theo threatened, not even glancing up from her work.

“Darling, such a temper from you this morning.” Loki practically purred. “I would have expected gratitude - after all, I prepared your morning coffee for you.”

Theo rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the hint of a smile that quirked up. Of course the prince would make a big deal out of a small gesture. “Well, thank you for the coffee, your highness, now will you leave me alone to work?”

“How are you settling in?”

Ugh.

He couldn’t have been that dense, right? He must have known Theo did not want to talk to him at that moment. No one became a renowned diplomat if they couldn’t understand basic social cues.

“Fine,” Theo drawled, “Better if you leave me to read in peace.”

“You never choose to spend time in the common areas like this. Why today?”

A loaded question, delivered with a deceptively light tone, had Theo’s hair standing on the back of her neck.

No, he wasn’t clueless or dense - Loki wanted something; information, probably.

Something unsettling lurched in Theo’s stomach.

“Because I thought I was going to be alone?” Irritation colored Theo’s response; she gritted her teeth, debating if she should try to divert the conversation or just piss him off so he’d leave her alone.

Her morals leaned towards the former, but her temper leaned towards the latter.

For the moment, she held her tongue.

“Perhaps this will surprise you, but you are allowed to venture into the common areas while others are around to spend your leisure time and… Do whatever it is that you are doing,” Loki casually gestured to the stack of papers scattered between them. “As you previously stated, you are not a princess to be locked away in a tower.”

“Currently, I’m reading reports,” Theo muttered, “And you’re proving to me exactly why I don’t do this in common areas – because you’re distracting me.”

It took a significant amount of willpower not to slam her computer closed and retreat to her suite; after all, the heavily redacted report about Budapest that was next on her list looked like an enticing read.

“See, that brings me to my next question: why, when you have a beautiful Saturday morning to relax, are you spending your time reading reports and paperwork?” A playful, lighthearted tone graced Loki’s question, but Theo’s patience wore dangerously thin. “If you wish for quality reading material, you only need to ask. I’ve plenty of recommendations.”

“Okay, since apparently you refuse to get the hint, I’m just going to be blunt: I am trying to work. I don’t want to talk right now. Quite frankly, your impromptu interrogation is pissing me off. So for the love of all that is holy, can you leave me alone?” Theo huffed, outright glowering at Loki.

“You may not be interested in speaking, but I’m certainly interested in answers to my question.” Loki arched a brow at Theo, sipping his coffee as if he could wait all day for a response.

“Because the world isn’t going to save itself and I have a lot of background knowledge to catch up on if I don’t want to fuck up one of these missions and get a bunch of people killed.” Theo’s frustration made its open debut, but amidst her ire she failed to hide the undercurrent of anxiety in her answer.

Before Theo even finished, Loki’s demeanor shifted from taunting to serious - he must have recognized that he struck a nerve.

Shit.

She let her guard down and he latched onto it instantly… Careless mistakes like that could get her killed.

“Are you aware that it is not a requirement to memorize every piece of SHIELD’s history?” Loki leaned in so he could look at Theo over her laptop, face shifting to something unreadable before he continued. “Generally speaking, we have only enough knowledge to complete the individual mission. You need not push yourself to learn everything so that you might recall it at a moment’s notice.”

It wasn’t about knowing everything - it was about assessing the risks. Theo needed to know the history in order to understand the potential risks. If she was in an emergency department, she knew the environment. She knew the variables. She had control over her situation.

But in the field? Knowing anything was a laughable thought.

“It’s not about memorizing, it’s about learning what I got myself into,” Theo flatly replied, hoping to make up for her slip. “I know Fury is fond of leaving out important details in favor of creating a narrative, so I want to make sure I know what he hasn’t told me before I’m sent out into the line of fire.”

“And you believe reports are the way to learn such information?” Skepticism dripped from Loki’s question.

“I didn’t say I liked it, but this,” Theo gestured to the mess of documents around her, refusing to let her nerves show once more, “is better than letting Fury trot me around like a prize horse or his little puppet.”

It was a half-truth; he didn’t need to know all the details, but perhaps she could spin it to take some of the pressure off.

“I do not believe you’re giving yourself enough credit.” Loki stepped around the island so he stood next to Theo, then shut her laptop so she would look him in the eye. He certainly accomplished the goal, but earned a frustrated groan from Theo in the process. “You’re an immensely sharp and powerful sorcerer – I can feel the magic pouring off you. You easily handle extreme physical duress during training, you effortlessly adapt to any social situation, and it has not escaped my attention that you’re extremely well-studied in a variety of areas.”

Sure, Loki saw Theo spar with Steve, and obviously they’d hung out a few times; they spoke at the party from the first night, and showed up to the soccer game and the bar show… But a handful of interactions wouldn’t have been enough to draw those conclusions, right?

Maybe it was a bluff, or an attempt at wooing her with his famed silver tongue so she would give him the information he wanted.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone lied to her in hopes of gaining her trust.

“First of all, I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or creeped out that you’ve been watching me so closely,” Theo retorted with a scowl. “Second of all, what’s your point?”

“If you are concerned about your ability to defend yourself on a mission, you need not fret.” Loki sounded cocky, almost arrogant – how would he know what they were up against? “You realize you are not the only one responsible for your safety in the field?”

“You really think that the others, who look at me like I’m a terror, give a shit about my safety?” “They do not believe you are a terror.”

“Cool, tell that to my grandma when she has to deal with my dead body,” Theo muttered. She attempted to snatch her laptop from Loki, but he held firm.

Loki may have been nicknamed a silvertongue, but the only thing his tongue had done was piss Theo off.

Enough was enough.

“ I don’t have time for this shit.” With a flick of her wrist, a swirl of shimmering runes encompassed the reports and her laptop, teleporting them back to her quarters. Theo snatched her coffee mug, then offered a final wave and a bratty sneer before transporting herself to her suite.

In the solitude of her suite, Theo let out a sigh.

So much for a peaceful Saturday morning.

I got a body, but I lost my mind I'm just business Placeholder with a bottom line I'm just business Please don't take this personally It's just business

Standing in the kitchen, Loki gaped at the empty seat before him and replayed the events which led to his current predicament.

In some ways, he could have foreseen such an outcome. Initial interactions with Theo had been far more successful than Loki anticipated, to the degree that he almost believed Theo might actually wish to befriend him. Thus, it was inevitable that he would ruin his progress in a truly spectacular manner.

In his defense, walking into the kitchen and finding Theo there had not been something he anticipated. The circumstances practically begged for Loki to engage; when else would he see Theo anywhere besides her workplace or mandatory Avengers engagements?

Yet, after a handful of occasions spent casually making each other’s acquaintance, Loki expected something with a bit more banter, or at least something more lighthearted. Instead, she met his questions with barbed remarks and vicious glares, culminating in another disappearing act.

The Theo that Loki encountered in the kitchen was vastly different from the Theo he first met, or the one that he spent time with in the research library; that Theo seemed confident and self-assured, sharp-witted and formidable regardless of the circumstances. But when caught off-guard, she became aggressive and downright irascible, to the extent that Loki questioned whether or not it was the same woman who he’d spoken to before.

However, deep within Loki’s chest, something uncomfortable twisted. He recognized the behavior, mostly because he had once acted in such a manner; if he was entirely honest with himself, he knew exactly what motivated such behavior:

Protecting oneself at all costs.

Seeing Theo in such a state brought to mind his mother’s gardens in Asgard. When flowers were cut and taken from the gardens, they eventually wilted and withered, unable to adapt to their new surroundings. Roses, one of his mother’s favorite flowers, eventually developed thorns all along the stem, which made cutting the blooms a much more challenging task; a defense mechanism that evolved over the course of millennia.

Like the thorns that protected the roses, Theo’s hostility served as a defense mechanism, an instinct developed to protect herself from something which previously scarred her, something which might have caused her to wither and wilt until nothing more than a shadow of her former self.

In Theo’s behavior, Loki saw himself. There was once a time where he had been so guarded that the other Avengers called him a cactus because of his prickly, sullen demeanor. Though the moniker had become a relic, the instinct remained firmly ingrained upon Loki’s psyche.

Theo was by no means a cactus, but she certainly had some thorns.

Loki sighed, smoothing calloused fingers over his hair. Ideally, he could remedy the situation with minimal lingering damage to the delicate kinship he struck with Theo; yet the manner in which he could achieve such a feat eluded him.

If he approached too soon, she would only recoil, particularly if she felt cornered. If he waited too long to speak to her, she might suspect his intentions stemmed from less than savory desires - exploitation or a means to an end.

After much dithering, Loki settled upon a plan: if he did not see Theo around lunch, he would knock on her door. If she failed to respond, he would try again at dinner time.

If he still had not heard anything, he would send her a message through his mobile, leaving the onus upon Theo - if she wished to interact she could, however he would not push further.

Any and all confidence Loki held in the plan dwindled when noon came and went with no sign of the silver shadow. Despite the aura of magic radiating from within, Loki’s knocks were met with silence, only dampening his spirits further.

To be on the receiving end of rejection brought a certain discomfort which Loki had not outright encountered in quite some time, and it remained at least as unpleasant as he remembered (if not moreso). Midgardians never outright rejected him - first, they feared him, but over time some came to lust after him. As for the Asgardians, they knew better than to disrespect a crown prince, even if his lineage brought disgrace upon the throne. The more he dwelled on the matter, the clearer it became that he could not remember the last time someone outright turned away from him in such a blatant manner.

Without any sign of Theo in the afternoon, or around the time when the others typically took their evening meal, Loki braced himself for the worst and made the trek down the corridor.

As he approached, the faint sound of music could be heard from inside Theo’s quarters, which combined with her aura confirmed she was present. After pausing for a moment to gather himself, Loki rapped his knuckles upon the door.

Much to his surprise, the music stopped. Footsteps grew louder as Theo approached the door. The noise ceased for a beat, then the lock clicked, and the door swung wide.

Theo stood before him, arms crossed and brows drawn tight as she scrutinized Loki.

“I don’t know if I should be impressed or annoyed by your stubbornness.” Theo skipped any formal greeting, leaning against the doorframe as she gave him a once-over. “Then again, I’m the one that answered the door, so maybe your strategy is effective, or I’m a glutton for punishment. Either way, are you here to continue badgering me about work, or is there something else you want?”

Loki drew in a deep breath.

“It seems I struck a nerve,” he observed. “For that, I apologize.”

“Is that all?” Theo eyed Loki warily, as if she knew other matters remained on his conscience.

Loki sighed; it seemed as good of a time as any to address what Midgardians often referred to as ‘the elephant in the room.’

“I noticed you’ve not yet made the acquaintance of the others.”

“I socialize with the other hospital staff,” Theo countered.

Loki scoffed. “I am referring to the other Avengers.”

“I know.” Theo answered as if she had no intention of continuing the conversation. Loki raised his eyebrows at her in a silent question; she rolled her eyes and sighed. “Look, I’m sure they’re fine, but I’m not really interested.”

“Dare I inquire as to why?”

“For one thing, the only reason they’re pretending to be interested in me is because Fury gave them the mission of convincing me to stay on as an Avenger.” Theo cocked an eyebrow at Loki as she slouched further into the doorframe. “So it’s not like they’re really trying to be my friend. And besides, most of them were more than quick to jump to conclusions about who, or what kind of person, I was.”

“If that is so, then why have you not shunned my company?” Loki challenged. “How do you know I am not making your acquaintance to win over the director?”

“I don’t,” she admitted, “but you don’t seem like the type of person to crave Nick Fury’s adoration, or like you’d let him make you his bitch. I suppose I could be wrong, though.”

“Such rousing praise,” Loki drawled. “Truly, the utmost of faith you place upon me—“

“Okay, fine - you really want to know why I’m willing to talk to you?” Theo interrupted, silencing Loki in the process, “Because in that first meeting, you didn’t automatically assume I was the villain.”

Something painful twisted in Loki’s stomach. Nowhere in the list of potential responses that Loki developed prior to asking the question was Theo’s answer, yet what she described was an experience he knew all too well. The memory of Barton’s initial reaction to Loki’s presence remained painfully vivid to the Asgardian, which only diminished Loki’s confidence in his argument.

Still, Theo’s perceptions of the situation were not entirely true. “I was not the only Avenger who made no assumptions about your morality—”

“Not out loud,” Theo agreed, “But you were the only one who didn’t look at me like I was some kind of terror. You actually looked at me as a person.”

If anyone could empathize with Theo’s experience, it would be Loki. Joining the Avengers, a group who he didn’t truly know or trust, and who didn’t know or trust him… For quite some time, Loki believed wholeheartedly that he made a terrible mistake.

Months passed from when he first relented to Thor’s pleas to become an Avenger to when Loki partook in a movie night, and that only happened because Thor physically dragged Loki from his quarters. He lost count of the number of times he turned Maximoff down before finally relenting to her constant requests to spend time together.

In the end, it took over a year for Loki to feel remotely comfortable simply existing in the common areas during the day, going on missions without his brother, or speaking to anyone that was not Thor. Even after so long, he still questioned whether the others valued his contributions to the team, or if they simply tolerated his presence.

“I will admit, the others are not always the most… open-minded, shall we say. Not in the beginning, at least.” Loki chose his words carefully, recognizing the delicate nature of the situation at hand. “However, I truly believe they have moved past the false assumptions, and I would highly recommend you use the opportunity to demonstrate that you are not the terror they assumed you to be.”

“And how do you know that they even want to get to know me?” Theo pressed, piercing blue eyes scrutinizing Loki’s every move.

“Because I was once in a similar position.” The answer slipped out before Loki could stop it. He carefully schooled the surprise from his features; meanwhile, Theo made no effort to hide her skepticism.

“I understand that you may not fully trust me yet – I’m the trickster god, I have a history of manipulating people. Quite frankly, it would be in your best interest not to trust me. But!” Loki admitted, then continued before Theo could get a word in edgewise: “You remind me quite a bit of myself, when I first became an Avenger. I believed the others assumed the worst in me. I held no trust in the others, and in turn they placed no trust in me. It remained as such for quite some time – too long, in hindsight.

“The change in my relationship with my colleagues came when I finally relented to my brother and Maximoff’s incessant attempts to force me to socialize with the others. If it were not them, I would still remain hidden away in my quarters at all hours.

“Honestly, at the time I desired nothing more than to kill them in a spectacular manner for their belligerent pestering and sickening optimism. But between you and I, it helped me far beyond simply becoming a part of the Avengers – it helped me move on from the past that used to define me.”

To be so genuinely forthcoming was a bold decision. Had it been anyone else, he would not have dared to reveal such information, particularly someone so new. However, Theo had a knack for drawing the unexpected from Loki, even if it often caught him by surprise. Additionally, the mystery surrounding Theo piqued his curiosity, which only grew with the reluctance to socialize with the others.

Without taking a risk, there would be no reward.

Theo narrowed her eyes at the God of Mischief, chewing the inside of her cheek as she mulled over his words.

“I remind you of… you?” Distrust clung to every word, only amplified by the doubt written across her expression in big, bold letters.

“Well, yes,” Loki replied coyly. “but you are far more charming and engaging. When I first arrived, I was simply full of spite.” He chuckled, earning a hesitant smile at Theo as a faint hint of pink rose on her cheeks from his compliment. “Had there been no consequence, Stark would have gleefully made a spectacle of launching me off the top of the tower.”

Theo’s shoulders bounced as she chuckled at Loki’s remarks. A sense of relief washed over Loki - perhaps he hadn’t made a mess of things after all.

“The winter soldier, the scarlet witch, myself - at one point or another, we were enemies of various factions of the Avengers. Romanoff is a former black widow, as is Belova. If we can be accepted into the Avengers, I’ve no doubt that you can as well.” Loki assured her, his confidence building with every passing moment. “However, you must be willing to engage.”

Before Theo could roll her eyes and offer a snarky dismissal, Loki held up a finger to silence her.

“At least humor Maximoff once,” he bargained. “I’ve listened to her prattle on endlessly about her excitement at your addition to the Avengers ever since she learned the news, and if I have to endure any more of her moping because you’ve rejected her invitations to socialize, I very well might lose my mind.”

After far too long of a pause, Theo finally answered.

“Okay, fine. I will stop turning down the invites to hang out and I’ll try to ‘play nice’ with the others,” she relented, sounding none too pleased as she straightened up. “For the record, I never agreed to any of this. I am here reluctantly, at best.”

“Yes yes, the reluctant Avenger - you’re not the first one. I wrote the book on it.” Loki ribbed, earning a real laugh from Theo. “Now come, it is far too beautiful of a day to spend it reading such dreary reports. Why not spend your time on something you might enjoy?”

“You know it’s raining outside, right?” Theo pointed to a window behind her, where an onslaught of water undoubtedly pounded against the glass.

“Of course I do;” Loki lightly scoffed. “That’s why it is such a beautiful day - it is perfect for settling in with some literature and forgetting about the tomfoolery the rest of this dreadful realm subjects us to.”

Theo didn’t argue with him, but she continued to peer at him rather suspiciously.

“You have worked non-stop ever since you started here. What is the phrase that you mortals love? All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? I fear you might become dreadfully dull if you keep this up.”

“Good thing my name isn’t Jack.” Theo winked, her quick-wit making its blessed return.

“All work and no play makes for a rather wretched existence.” Loki amended his statement, smirking at Theo. “What you ought to do is put those reports away, find a novel that you actually enjoy, and join me in the sitting room to indulge in some reading. We might even listen to some of your music over the speakers, since you seem to be averse to silence yet easily startled when you wear your headphones.”

“I don’t know, this Budapest report looks like a great mystery to crack.” Theo shrugged, though her tone no longer held any trace of the tension or animosity that had previously dominated her replies.

Loki rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t bite back a smile.

“Okay,” Theo finally agreed, “let me put this stuff away, and then I’ll come join you.”

As she joined him in the corridor, Loki concluded that one thing was certain: he much preferred Theo’s banter to her thorns.

I need you to be wrong (All along wе both were wrong) I need you to be wrong (All along wе both were wrong)

#loki #loki fanfiction #marvel loki #mcu loki #loki fluff #loki angst #loki smut #loki imagine #when everything's made to be broken #wemtbb #loki x oc #loki x ofc #loki x oc fanfiction #loki x oc fanfic #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #avenger! loki #avenger! ofc

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hellobunny044 · 9 months

Text

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

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an original Haikyū AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!! : containing some manga content.

word count : 3540

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Panel - 1

“Udai-san, this part and this one need to be reworked.”

“Which one?”

The guy with shoulder-length curly hair shifted, almost sending his chair to fly closer to the serious, glasses-guy. His face serious and his tone polite and organized, while beside him, the curly guy in his hoodie is casually listening to everything he says like an obedient puppy.

“The monologue is too long. It seems unnecessary and a waste of time. That’s it from me.”

“Akaashi-san, don’t you at least have something nicer to say to me?”

“That was the nicest I could be.”

“Geh.”

The curly black haired guy was, Udai Tenma, next to him was Akaashi Keiji, the editor.

Akaashi sighs, “There is also one thing I couldn’t agree with on the next page.”

“Which one?”

“This one.”

Following the editor’s finger pointing at a panel, Udai seriously listened to the way Akaashi specified the whole scene as ‘overly exaggerated’.

“It’s either you come up with another idea to picture the entire event, or you find another way not to make this panel look like this.”

In other words, a just-cut-it-out-of-the-page-and-good-luck-coming-up-with-something-more-worth-publishing.

“Do you think so?”

A confirmation from Akaashi had Udai nod in understanding. He takes his phone out and notes down everything the editor said while casually listening and answering what he needs to answer.

After Akaashi wrapped the discussion up, Udai casually decides, “Alright. I’ll hand it in in two days.”

“No can do.”

“Eehhh?” Staring at the editor’s serious face, Udai insistsing, “Why not?”

The editor sighed before he starts, “You have a fansign next month for this edition. Everything has to be published by the end of this month. I can only accept tomorrow at the latest, at seven in the morning.”

Udai started to whine, dropping his head on the table after Akaashi made a decision on the deadline. But to what end, though? The deadline had been decided and the dearest charming editor, Akaashi Keiji, is simply someone too savage to give a damn about anything when it comes to the deadline.

In the end, Udai did have to work hard to finish the latest edition of the manga tomorrow morning at the required hour.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Udai-san.”

Udai, with a helpless languid look, while hugging the manuscript sheet that Akaashi had corrected, turns around and stares at his editor pityingly. Still having a little determination to negotiate with the charming editor until there is a more humane leniency from him. He put on his most pathetic face in front of the editor, basically trying his best.

“If you understand, please go home and start working.”

Snorting, Udai jerks himself out of the room like some cranky bear, nearly flying, a little uprising against the unfair working hours. Or perhaps, he just hadn’t yet realized that everything is the result of his amazing skill to procrastinate and pile up all his work at one time, forgetting that he is only human and not a manga printing machine that can be pushed to go the extra mile.

But really, drawing is fun.

Since a long time ago, drawing had been an escape from fear, boredom, anxiety, and some random feelings that oftenly creeped up on him.

Whenever those unfamiliar, unpleasantly all too familiar feelings creeped into his mental frame, he would always tear up a piece of paper and start doodling. About anything. Whatever his eyes caught, or whatever his head imagined, or about some places wherever his brain took him to.

In the subtle sound when his pencil met the paper, there was the peace that flushed through, and it almost felt like he was in the heart of a serene forest. Then the chaos inside him would slowly die down.

There is peace in drawing.

Then here he was, back to the room where almost over twenty volumes of his manga were born. In a room where his pen met several strokes of paper in definite or indefinite lines, where his pen met the screen of his computer at busy hours before all those stories were brought to life as some book, namely manga, working for another extra special hour.

Udai Tenma was not a familiar name before the Zombie Knight Zom'bish manga became as famous as it is now. He was just a normal citizen, an ordinary guy living within the framework of a normal story somewhere in Tokyo.

Although he no longer yearns for those days, for those who still remember, they might recognize him better by a nickname other than his real name. Call it The Little Giant.

With that name, youths familiar with the volleyball of his day would immediately raise an eyebrow, amused, welcoming with a sky-rocketing expectation in the face of that particular figure who in his days was revered for his outstanding ability despite a fairly obvious weakness. The very figure to conquer the orange court of the famously annual national’s spring high volleyball tournament with some player known as the crows.

But those days are over.

Just like the beginning of a fiction novel, the past was left behind and the reader moves on to the next chapters, looking forward to what might lie ahead.

Udai Tenma is one of those readers who diligently turns the pages of the life story that fate had written for him.

His days as the little giant had come to an end when he decided to turn to the next chapter. Now, he is in the chapter where he is just the ordinary Udai Tenma, the manga artist Udai Tenma, living up to the result of his hard work creating over twenty volumes of manga, and is currently and will always be struggling with deadlines from his editor.

———————————————————

Udai-san, the deadline is tomorrow by seven am in the dot. Please don’t be late.

———————————————————

Udai grimaced as he read Akaashi’s message from the notification bar of his phone.

It’s not that he will pretend to be on a temporary memory-lost something funnier.

He is working hard.

Despite almost swallowing some of his curly strands as his mouth is busy munching some chips, his hands are busy working on what he had to fix on the entire panel.

“That damn Akaashi really is a dictator. He’s such a sadist. He really is one.”

His hands take a slight pause, scooping up a handful of chips that are almost gone on the other side of the table and feeding himself. He is busy. Very busy. Munching and working on those panels at the same time.

********************************************************

Udai could barely finish the latest volume of his Zombie Knight Zom'bish.

He grimaced at the fact that the editor is a sadistic perfectionist who alwa time, valuing time too much.

Of all the things that made him grimace more was how Akashi was always she looked like a pathetic misfit every time he handed in a new script.

At first glance, while waiting for Akashi to finish scanning the revised panels with his eagle eyes that always demanded the best of the best that he, as the artist, could come up with, Udai's feet shuffled anxiously under the table as his brain roamed, thinking about whether Akashi Keiji had ever once looked as pathetic as himself right now.

When Akashi Keiji is working as an editor, the room will be so quiet that Udai swears he could hear a needle dropping from the next room. Udai was even convinced that the charming editor had stppped breathing to look for mistakes that aren't worth publishing, to make sure that they wouldn't slip away from his eyes. But honestly, if anything, Udai couldn’t ask for someone better than Akaashi Keiji of all people.

One of the reasons would be that, "There are chips in the second drawer."

Udai had a bad habit of biting his finger as he waited patiently for the dearest editor to do his job scanning over the revised book. And Akashi, surprise surprise, apparently had gotten used to that bad habit of the manga artist, so, amusingly, he prepared the chips in his drawer. Knowing well that the artist had a high level of addiction to msg.

There will always be only a chip in the drawer and that's for Udai.

The curly-haired guy swears that Akashi is probably a hero who only ate healthy food on a daily basis, probably had been sworn over whatever good and bad throughout the heavens and the earth that he shouldn't eat chips.

Witnessing the way Akaashi Keiji being such a perfectionist that he is, making Udai almost lost the last trace of worthiness in himself.

If Akaashi Keiji is just a normal human being, then it should be that Udai Tenma is just a trash.

"Akaashi-san, you're indeed the most understanding person I've ever met in my life."

"Please eat something more proper at home, Udai-san."

Munching, Udai glanced at Akashi and replied, "I eat properly. It's just that, it's not complete if I don't get chips in a day. It's like my brain's freezing."

He held the chips solemnly in his lap while gazing out the window of Akashi's room.

Tokyo was slowly getting to start its bustling, busy morning as he would soon take a rest after this all was over.

"If you eat chips and work hard for the next volume, I don't have anything to say."

"I eat chips while working."

"You've always been on more chewing terms than drawing."

"For the record, I came just in time before the deadline, Akaashi-san. Let's not forget about that."

Udai ignored that Akashi sighed just after he spoke. It was the loudest and clearest he ever heard.

It was quiet for some time until Akaashi turned the last page and all the checks were completed.

Glancing at the table, Udai was still half-chewing when he asked, “Are you finished, Akaashi-san?”

Akaashi confirms, then adds, “If there are no obstacles, the publication will proceed as scheduled.”

Udai nods, “I guess I can rest now.”

“Please.”

Udai almost complains, but instead he helps himself to stand up and excused himself. “Then. I’ll go home and rest. Ja ne, Akaashi-san. I’ll leave the rest to you.”

Udai had stepped away when Akaashi called out. So he stopped and turned back to the editor who immediately greeted him with a question.

“Are you free on the weekend?”

Udai frowns. He did not expect such a question coming from a guy at all.

“This weekend?”

Akaashi showed two tickets to Udai who was increasingly confused about what he was dealing with. “I got extra tickets for the theater show on the weekend.”

Udai paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best response in the midst of his confusion. Wait a minute. “We’re... going together?”

“No. I’m busy this weekend.”

Of course.

Udai feels betrayed by Akaashi’s flat, nonchalant answer. Something so obvious shouldn’t have been said out loud like that. And how do he explain this… he feels rejected and uncomfortable as his head went everywhere, to the most ridiculous things he could think of.

“You can go with anyone with those tickets.”

“Anyone?”

“Anyone. Someone of your friends or maybe your girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?”

Then Akaashi’s question came like a bolt of lightning, “You don’t have something like that?”

Udai laughed blandly. “No.”

His laughter was gone but a smile was forced to line his lips when he rewarded the editor with a more or less the same question. “Why don’t you take your girlfriend instead?”

“I told you I’d be busy this weekend.”

Udai was caught off guard. He was half taken aback when he asked, “You have a girlfriend, Akaashi-san?”

“Yes.”

“Eeeehh? But who?” It would not be an exaggeration to say that Udai was almost shrieking at that surprisingly unexpected fact.

But on the other hand, Akaashi was too casual about it.

“Of course it’s none of your business.” The editor responded. This time he added, “If you can’t take these tickets, you’d better go home and rest. Please reduce your eye bags by getting enough sleep and eating regularly. Your fansign is next month, Udai-san.”

Udai laughed, he shook his head as he said, “Akaashi-san, you must have been a strict nerd with an angelic heart.”

“Thank you. I don’t know if I have ever been a nerd for even once.”

“Geeeh.”

Akaashi’s brows lifted, watching the curly-haired manga artist, “hm?”

Udai turned after bowing very politely to Akaashi, forcing the editor to return the bow properly. He then excused himself politely and closed the door very quietly. Weekly Shonen employs one hell of an editor and it’s Akaashi Keiji.

********************************************************

After a long and fairly strict process, the 22nd volume of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish was finally released. Reader responses were varied, but positive responses dominated. Then after all the process was over, the long awaited fansign that had been scheduled had come.

If asked about how familiar he is with fansigns—given that he is a manga artist—then Udai would honestly say that to this day he is still unfamiliar with some interaction with fans or fan service in modern words.

At his first fansign, Udai barely said anything and just kept his head down, focusing on the part where the fans came to ask him to sign their books. It wasn’t until Akaashi came whispering to him, telling him what he should say and do when his fans came, that Udai improved.

It wasn’t just a newfound nervousness. Since long time ago, Udai had never been very good with people. He had never really grasped the full feeling of being attached to his surroundings. Or maybe, he had, but only briefly.

Today, however, as the manga artist Udai Tenma, when he was confronted with fans lined up to wait their turn for just a few seconds with him, he had to overcome that weakness of his.

Sitting behind the the table was Udai, dressed more neatly than usual: not in a hoodie or plain t-shirt wrapped in his usual dark jacket, but in a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair, well... his hair remained in its usual style. Only, this time, he tried his best to avoid Mr. Akaashi always-demanding-the-best-of-what-one-can-give Keiji protests by styling his hair a bit neater.

From beside the desk where he sat, it was Akaashi who stood watching him like an owl from time to time.

“Good afternoon, thank you for coming and reading Zombie Knight Zomb’ish!”

In front of him was a quiet middle school student, reminiscent of the days when he was a student: the aloof, hostile, not really stood out, high-schooler Udai Tenma.

Udai wrote down that fan’s name after he spelled it and signed in the same place as where he signed it to the fan before him after learning that he had no special requests. Just like that, the youngster excused himself quickly from the spotlight. Udai was intrigued by the bit of the past that the fan brought before him, catching a little fragment of himself that used to hate attention in more or less the same way.

His smile lingered as he greeted the next fan who was surprisingly excited to meet him. Without prompting, she expressed her thoughts on his work. It was always pleasant to hear some people express their likeness about how good his works are, but to hear someone passionately declare an addiction to his work was something quite ridiculous and amusing.

Just before security let the next fan in, from behind came Akaashi who commented, “At least that person won’t be having an msg overdose.”

Udai still had a chance to reply, “Come on! It’s not that I’m addicted to some weirder things.”

“Alright. Please turn around and say hello to your fans, Udai-san.”

Udai returned to being the manga artist his fans had been eager to meet.

“Good afternoon. Thank you for coming and thank you for always reading Zombie Knight Zomb'ish!”

Udai didn’t expect that someone would talk about anything other than how much they loved and appreciated his work. He did not expect that the day would come when one of his fans would say something about him.

“Seeing you in person really amazed me. You have a very handsome face and a very sweet personality.”

“Eh?”

Udai almost stopped when he realized that of all people, he was the one who objected most to what was said about him instead of feeling grateful that one of his many fans was saying nice things about him in person. No, instead he was amused at himself blushing over the unsubstantiated accusation.

He swore he wanted to say something in his defense if only their time was not up and he had to attend to the next fan immediately. In the end, in a low tone under his breath, Udai said, “You must have the wrong person.”

Behind him, he caught an amused huff that made him take the time to slightly threaten the dreamy editor through his gaze. He had just enough time to return before the next fan arrived, more than enough to hear how the first thing the fan noticed was that the very editor standing behind him had a cute face.

That was definitely not something new. It was no secret that Akaashi had a charming face that attracted attention from the moment Udai first met him. As a man, Udai admitted that Akaashi had everything that made him worthy of being called a handsome man: a certain amount of coolness, a charming face, a serious and hardworking tendency in everything he did, a dexterity that he picked up from his days as a setter at one of Tokyo’s powerschools, and a fashion sense that was definitely a ladies’ delight. But definitely not with how fans express Akaashi Keiji in their dictionary.

Udai swore that he desperately had to hold back his laughter when the fan said that Akaashi looked like a baby owl.

If only Udai had enough time to pull out his cell phone, he would have taken a picture of Akaashi blushing. A super rare sight.

From then on, after the fansign, Udai started bringing up the fan’s words. It was clear to see how the strict editor Akaashi Keiji was caught off-guard by a fan praising him out of the blue.

At lunchtime, Udai didn’t stop teasing Akaashi about it, being so serious when stating that soon, the editor might be getting his own fans, or might soon be holding his own fansign considering that, at the end of the fansign, some fans had gathered and questioned whether the editor-san could get into the photo.

After quite happily colonizing Akaashi with the childishness he suddenly developed at the last minute, Udai excused himself and went to the toilet.

When he finished, Udai was walking at a leisurely pace. But fate wrote something different by still making him bump into someone even at the most leisure pace he took, even when he made sure that he paid attention to his surroundings this time.

Right in front of the corridor, a cell phone fell to the floor, followed by its owner he had just bumped into who immediately bent down to apologize and immediately followed to pick up her cell phone at the same time as Udai who also rushed to grab the phone for her.

Udai did not immediately get up when his eyes caught something he did not expect. Something unfamiliar yet familiar and warm in his memory. He stopped when the person he bumped into walked past him.

The sound of her footsteps gradually moving further away from her back, then stopped.

Seconds slowed in his world. The bustling sounds of the shopping center were drowned out by the silence that suddenly erupted through this unexpected coincidence. His heartbeat slowed down as if accounting for every second that passed. Inside his head, questions about this and that swirled around. He was not exaggerating anything to say that his world had once a blizzard. When the voice came, the snow in his world melted away, forcibly driven away with the unfamiliar warmth of spring bursting from the bottom of his chest when the voice rang in his ears.

“Udai... san?”

There were a few seconds that he missed before he helped himself to turn around, welcoming a presence he never dared to expect to be anywhere before his eyes.

His world turned into a black and white panel as all the color he knew returned to the girl.

“You’re... Udai-san, right? Udai Tenma-san. Right?”

Udai knew what name he would call, what he would say when his senses reconnected with that presence. Her.

He swallowed, swallowing all the feelings that came together in this unexpected encounter, trying to stem them with a little courage to open his voice.

“Sasaki?”

Sasaki Tsubasa, the one who is staring at him with a glimmer of newly flushed pleasure in her eyes. Her smile amused. Her eyes warm. Steadily, not awkward like him, she helped herself to face him properly.

“Oh. It’s really you, Udai-san.”

The time her smile bloomed, his world that once was a black and white panel, turned colorful. Just like when cherry blossoms bloomed during the first day of spring, she was there to color everything again.

“Thankfully, I didn’t get the wrong person.”

—

next chapter coming soon.

#udai tenma #the little giant #manga artist udai tenma #udai tenma the little giant #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #udai tenma x female oc #udai tenma and akaashi keiji #weekly shonen akaashi keiji #haikyu angst #my story #haikyu manga reference #haikyu post time skip #tenma udai #haikyu au #original story

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seung-hwa · 2 years

Text

lil lemon dress

Word Count: 2.6k

Pairing: husband!Yunho x reader

Genre: Smut, fluff, established relationship

Summary: After a long day of work Yunho comes home to see you in a new dress that gets him the slightest bit of hot and bothered.

Warnings: big dick!Yunho (because of course), fingering, breeding kink, fairly softish sex, manhandling, talks of pregnancy, piv, unprotected sex, creampie (I’m so tired of having this be a warning every fic y’all I’ve got a problem)

A/N: I went to Anthropologie the other day and there was this really cute lemon dress that immediately made me think “house wife” and “Yunho” and this is the end result. Also! This is unedited I wrote it at like 4am so if it’s shit don’t talk about it okay anyway enjoy lmao

Yunho had left early in the morning to get to work, you didn’t mind as you have a whole slew of things to get done in the house to keep your mind occupied. These days his job at the office took so much of his time that he’d often end up bringing work home as well. It was as though he was working 24/7 and you see how tired he is all the time. It’s currently busy season, and it isn’t like he has much time to dedicate to you when he has deadline after deadline to meet. You understand that this will only last a little bit longer, and as much as you miss him right now, you also know that once the season settles he’ll be all yours.

Today you decided to do some shopping, get some decor for the house and do laundry. It didn’t take too much of your time, and you moved at a leisurely pace throughout the entirety of the day, enjoying the time you had for yourself. Once things at his work began to settle, and once you were able to set your own business up from home then these small moments of peace would eventually be gone. Soon enough you’d start up the cute little family that you and your husband had always dreamed of, his busy season’s would come and go, and your business would (hopefully) be booming.

You went about your business in a wrap around lemon dress, one that very much so screamed housewife. It was a cute little number that you had recently bought, and hadn’t had a chance to wear yet. In fact, you never even got the opportunity to show the article of clothing to Yunho and get his opinion on it. Although, you’re sure he’ll love it since his opinion is that everything you wear looks beautiful on you.

The door opens just as you’re prepping dinner. Nothing’s on the stove yet, you’re just cutting vegetables unfortunately. It catches you by surprise when you glance at the clock and find Yunho's home a whole hour earlier than usual. In fact, you would’ve been less shocked if he had come home a few hours later than this, as is the case with busy seasons.

Just as you’re about to turn around and greet him at the door, you feel his hands come from behind your waist and wrap around your front, cradling you into a hug.

“Baby, you’re home early,” you say to him from over your shoulder.

“Mmm, the bookkeeper hasn’t sent me any of the stuff I need for my current assignment and I’m at a standstill with all my other clients so I figured I’d call it in early for today. Hopefully I’ll get an email tomorrow with all the stuff I need or I may just need to find some work to do,” he sighs.

You feel so bad for him, his job would be so much easier if the others around him could just do their jobs well.

“I’m sorry dinner isn’t ready my love,”.

“Don’t even worry about dinner tonight, we can just order in,” he says.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I want to spend the rest of my afternoon just being lazy and being with you,”. You smile even though you know he can’t see you since he’s still holding onto you. You turn yourself around in his arms and look up at his tired eyes.

“Oh Yunho, you look so tired baby,” you give him a sympathetic smile as you bring your hand up to his cheek and stroke the skin there with your thumb.

Instead of answering he brings his lips down to yours. The kiss is sweet and gentle, no rushing involved as he molds his lips to yours and steals your breath away. He pulls away for a moment and rests his forehead against yours, the hands at your waist give you a small squeeze before he separates from you. He gives you a once over once as he finally takes in the way you look in your new dress.

“Oh is that new?”

“It is! Do you like it?” He takes your hand in his and spins you around, watching the way the skirt of the dress flares upwards in a pretty way.

“I can’t believe you can make lemons look so good,” he says to you and you chuckle in response.

This time he pulls you towards him and dances with you around the kitchen. There’s no music, and no rhythm for you to follow, but he doesn’t mind when you step on his feet a few times. Instead he giggles at every misstep you make and continues to swing you around.

“My beautiful wife…” you can hear him murmur, and the dreamy way he says it fills your heart with warmth. These sweet moments aren’t unusual, nor are they few or far in between, but you still cherish them nonetheless.

Now it’s his turn to take your face into his hands and he kisses you once more. This time it’s a little less soft and a lot more demanding, his tongue pushes against your lips and you allow him access. He takes his time with you, tongue exploring your mouth as his hands lower themselves to the tie that keeps your dress intact. Still, he doesn’t rush as his fingers work to untie the knot of your dress and pull it off of you. You’re slightly surprised by his sudden need for you considering how tired he looks but you’re not complaining at all.

You feel the cool air brush against your skin as the dress comes off, goosebumps rising on your skin until Yunho runs his hands over you. He backs you into a counter, his lips leave yours only to trail their way down your throat and suck at the juncture between your shoulder and neck. He draws a small moan from you as he works to undress you. He may be taking his time with you, but you notice how hastily his hands work to take off his own suit and tie. You help him by unbuttoning his shirt as he makes work of taking off his pants.

You both find yourselves clad in only your underwear as he continues to run his hands along your body while his lips kiss whatever skin he can find. When you brush your hand down to his boxers you hear him hiss as you make contact with his hardening member through the cloth. There’s a certain sense of neediness when his lips make contact with yours once more. He gives you the kind of kiss you know will leave your lips red and tingly once he departs from you.

His hands slide to your ass and he gives you a light tap, you take this as your signal to jump and he catches you, then placing you onto the kitchen counter. You take the initiative in pulling your bra off of you, and when he feels your bare skin against his he trails his kisses down to your chest. You run your hands through his hair, pulling softly as he takes a nipple into his mouth and runs his tongue over the hardening bud. You arch into his touch, keening at the way his mouth feels on you. He then moves onto the other nipple and does the same thing, all the while he looks up at you. The bags under his eyes are darker than you’ve ever seen them but the lust is unmistakable as you see how his dark brown eyes are overtaken by the black of his pupils.

You feel the way one of his hands comes into contact with your panties, stroking at you through the cotton material. You know he can feel the wetness that seeps through and he lets out a low moan from the realization of it.

“Already so wet for me… I’ve barely done anything and you’re already so wet for me,” you can tell he’s on the verge of losing it when you hear the way he takes in a shaky breath. As much as you would love for him to touch and tease you how he usually does, you also understand that he needs more than that right now.

“Yunho, baby I need you in me,”.

“Let me get you ready first okay? It’ll hurt if I don’t,” you give him a nod and he sets to work on taking off your panties before running two fingers up your slit. You’re just about to tell him to put them in but he does so before you can even open up your mouth.

His fingers push into you slowly, and he allows you a moment to get used to the sudden stretch before he’s thrusting them into you. He watches the way your expression twists into one of pleasure as he hooks his fingers and hits your sweet spot. His thumb then comes up to rub at your clit and it causes you to move your hips in time with the thrust of his fingers.

He reattaches his lips onto your neck, biting and sucking there as his hand moves faster. Your moaning mixed with the wetness of his fingers inside of you fills the kitchen. As much as you would love to come this way, you also prefer to come with him inside of you instead. It takes all your willpower to put your hand over his and push it away from you.

“Inside, please, I need you inside,” you say, almost breathless.

It doesn’t take him long to push his boxers down and begin to tease at your entrance, coating himself in your wetness before he pushes into you slowly. He watches the way he sinks into you, inch by agonizing inch. It doesn’t matter how often you take his cock, he always has to warm you up to him first just so that he doesn’t hurt you. You love the care he takes with you, making sure you’re never uncomfortable, especially with how big he is.

Once he’s fully inside of you he cups your face in his hands and pulls you in for another kiss. It gives you the time you need to adjust to his size until you’re the one pulling away and giving him the okay to go ahead. You watch as he bites at his bottom lip, not letting go of your face and also not moving within you. Normally you’d be a little whiny and be insistent on him moving but you can tell there’s something on his.

“What’s wrong Yun?”

“I want a baby,” he says without a single ounce of hesitation.

“Oh?” You say a bit dumbly, “what brought that out?”

“Just seeing you in here, so beautiful in your lemon dress, it’s all so domestic. It made me think about how you’d look pregnant with our baby, or how you’d look when we have our own little rugrats running around here. I want that with you. I want all the domestic things with you,”. It takes you a moment to process what he says, and once it registers in your mind it very easily begins to fill your heart with an immense amount of love for him.

“I want that with you too, my love,” you say to him. You can’t say that you forget about the fact that he’s still inside of you, but it did escape from your mind for a millisecond until he begins to thrust into you slowly.

His hands let go of your face and settle down onto your waist as his thrusts hit deep inside of you. There’s a hunger in his eyes that wasn’t there before, as if the confirmation from you is all he needed in order to finally let go.

The grip he has on you is bruising, and the way you pull at his hair in your grasps only causes him to grip onto you tighter. Any self restraint he had prior is thrown out of the window as he thrusts into you faster. He nearly pulls you off of the counter as he angles your hips better to meet his. He keeps one hand holding onto you as the other comes to rub at your clit again.

You know he isn’t going as rough as what he could, because he may be going faster but he’s still trying to make sure you won’t be in pain later.

“Stop holding back Yun, I want you to fuck me. Get me pregnant baby,”.

It’s like a switch flips as he pulls you completely off the counter, only to turn you around and bend you over it. You don’t do this position too often since he’s so big but you’re so wet and the way he manhandles you only causes him to be able to slide into you much easier.

The slap of his skin on yours is almost as loud as the moans you let out for him. You rest your face on the cool granite of the counter, hands gripping onto it as he fucks into you. He makes the effort to grab onto one of your legs and helps you to put your knee onto the counter. The position is slightly awkward but it helps him hit you deeper, there’s only a slight amount of pain as you feel the tip of him brushing against your cervix.

He’s so lost in the feel of you that he doesn’t bring his fingers down to your clit, but you don’t mind. You bring your own fingers to rub at yourself as he fucks you to his hearts content. You feel him kissing down your neck and peppering kisses along your back with each thrust that meets you. You can tell he’s close when his hips begin to stutter. Only then does he replace your hand with his own, fingers nearly slipping with how wet you’ve become.

Your orgasm hits you just as you feel him releasing into you. He helps you ride it out as he continues, but even as you begin to come down he doesn’t stop. The oversensitivity begins to bother you and you can only whimper, all words lost on you.

“I know baby I know, just gotta make sure I fuck all my cum into you,”. He keeps going for only a moment longer until he stops his thrusts. He helps you take your knee off of the counter but keeps himself inside of you while doing so. Your legs feel like jelly and you’re thankful that he’s holding onto you, because if he wasn’t then you’d surely be a puddle on the ground.

Eventually he pulls out of you, and turns you around to face him once again. He meets your lips in a kiss as sweet as the first one he gave you when he arrived back home. You’re both breathless from the sex, and very sweaty.

“Let me start the bath and you can order the takeout?” He asks you with a tired smile.

“Of course my love,” you say before giving him a peck on his nose.

He’s just about to let you go until he pulls you into him for a hug.

“You know I love you so much right?”

“I know Yun, I love you too,” when he steps away from you he looks at you like you’ve put the stars in the sky, nothing but pure unadulterated love in his eyes as he takes you in.

Maybe you’ll start wearing that lemon dress more often.

More A/N: Thanks for reading! If you want more Yunho smut then feel free to take a look at this lil number right here (or take a look at my most recent fic here). But if neither of those tickle your fancy then feel free to take a look at my masterlist here instead. I also have a tag list so if you’d like to be added onto that then let me know buddy. Okay cool bye!

#yunho smut #ateez smut #yunho x reader #ateez x reader #yunho imagine #ateez imagine #ateez Drabble #yunho Drabble #ateez fic #yunho fic #jeong yunho x reader

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foreteller-ava · 2 years

Text

Your Presence Still Lingers Here

AO3

Summary: Mizuki finally becomes an agent at ABIS. Somebody isn't here to celebrate.

A/N: Someday I'll actually come up with a decent title, that day is not today. Anyways I will never be over AINI not giving us enough moments for people to actually care about Date. I beg you AINI care about my boy.

“Alright Mizuki, you can come on out.” The Psync machine’s visor was removed, allowing Mizuki and Aiba back into the real world. It was her first Psync, a test on Pewter (which was maybe something of a mistake, she did not need to see even silhouettes of Daddy and Pewter together) to make sure both she and Aiba would be compatible not just in day to day life, but with ABIS too. She looked up at Boss, who had made the announcement, and gave her a wave. “Come up to the office, we’ll give you a debrief while the sleepyhead over there wakes up.”

Mizuki nodded, running up the stairs and into the briefing room, where she smiled at Boss. “How’d I do? Am I ready to go into the heads of some real baddies now.”

Boss smiled and nodded. “I think so. Aiba?”

“Your performance in the Somnium was admirable. Finished well within the six minute deadline with no desire to continue to push that limit. The information was received and Mizuki quickly exited.” Aiba’s assessment of Mizuki’s performance, though positive, felt off. There were certain notes of fondness and dismay in it. Aiba was assessing her based on the Psyncing capabilities of somebody she missed…they both missed.

Still, neither of them could focus on that right now. She relayed the information to Boss, who clapped her hands together. “That settles it then. Starting today, Special Agent Mizuki Date: You are officially an agent for ABIS.”

Mizuki smirked. Being the youngest member of ABIS was definitely a moment of pride, but there had been more to it than that.

Placing Aiba in her temporarily had been the obvious decision since she’d lost her eye in the explosion six years ago, but it was always to be temporary. Aiba was property of ABIS, not him, and so when the need arose if she couldn’t become a member of ABIS, her AI-Ball and companion would’ve needed to be placed with a new agent.

She wasn’t going to let them take Aiba. With him gone, she was all she had left of him.

Still, Mizuki brushed those feelings of grief to the side. Six years was a long time to miss somebody, and there were other things to celebrate today. “I’ll be sure not to let you down, Boss.”

“We’ll see when we get our first real Psync. Just because you handled the test Somnium well doesn’t mean you’ll handle the real thing.” That was sobering. Boss put a hand on Mizuki’s shoulder and smiled at her. “Still, you did do great. Both Aiba and I agreed. Take the night off, go celebrate with friends or go find a boy to spend it with. There will be plenty of cases for tomorrow that you can take to finally help take the pressure off Ryuki.”

“I may spend it celebrating, but I’m not spending it with a boy.” Mizuki crossed her arms, causing Boss to laugh. “Not unless Ota counts as one.”

“Ota does not count as a boy in the way that Boss is implying.”

“You haven’t changed one bit, have you,” Boss said after her laughter stopped. “Date would be proud.”

Boss had meant it as praise, but at the mention of his name, it felt as though ice had begun to run through Mizuki’s veins.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Boss waved, not noticing Mizuki’s dampened mood, and returned to the Psync room floor, likely to inform Pewter of the good news of their new agent, leaving Mizuki alone in the office.

“Come on Aiba, let’s go.” Mizuki started to walk out.

“Alright,” Aiba said, though Mizuki hadn’t needed to wait for her approval on their leave either. It wasn’t like Aiba could stop her from walking out the door of ABIS.

They were quiet most of the journey back to the Date residence. Earlier, Mizuki had planned on heading to Matsushita Diner and celebrating with Ota, Mame, Iris, and Kizzy, but with the reminder of her loss, she didn’t really have any plans of hanging out with them, even to celebrate. She would just end up bringing down the mood.

Once she arrived in the door, she sat down on the couch. On the racks, his clothes still sat next to hers, and she could still see the drool stain on the cushion from when he’d decided that she should have the bed and spent the next four years sleeping on the couch.

She thought of how excited he’d been when he’d mentioned moving in with Iris and her mom, how he’d get to have a real bed and Mizuki would be able to share a room with her best friend and how their little family would finally live under the same roof.

It had only been a few weeks before the explosion. Both Teacher and the old man had wanted to take it slow. Now he was gone for six years and they’d never have that chance.

“Mizuki. I notice your mood has dropped considerably since we left ABIS. Are you alright?” Aiba asked.

Mizuki grabbed her Adorabbit, holding it in her arms. “I’m fine.”

“That is a lie.”

“It’s nothing Aiba.” Except it was everything. She was becoming a full fledged member of ABIS and he, who should’ve been there with her congratulating her as she received her AI-Ball with her license to Psync, wasn’t there. He could never be there.

“It’s because Boss mentioned Date, isn’t it?” There was a sadness coloring Aiba’s tone as she talked about him. There always was. “You miss him.”

“I don’t miss him.” Mizuki hugged Adorabbit tighter, burying her face in his head while she lied. “That idiot. Mom and Daddy died and then just a few months later…how could I miss somebody so stupidly inconsiderate.” She wouldn’t cry. She had done so well in not crying over what happened to him because he couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t accept that her other dad was gone too, even now.

“So do I.” Mizuki looked up and saw Aiba’s holographic form next to her. Though Aiba couldn’t really touch her, her hand was pressed to Mizuki’s back, pantomiming a reassuring half hug. “Date was my partner for five years, and one of my closest friends.”

“I know.” She’d lived with the AI-Ball the whole time and hadn’t even known it. She would’ve never known it were it not for that creep Saito and his attempt to ruin his life. “If this is you trying to make me feel better, it’s not going to work.”

“I just want you to know it’s okay to miss Date too.” Aiba looked out the window. Mizuki had known that she’d missed him, but watching Aiba’s distant gaze had her curious. “He could be a big idiot, a sex crazed, porn addicted maniac, but he cared about us. For every dumb thing he did he always wanted to do what he could to protect us.”

Mizuki didn’t answer right away, sensing Aiba’s own grief. It was difficult to find the words when both of them were grieving the same man who had had such a large influence on their lives.

“The last thing I said to him was when I teased him about being with Ryuki,” Mizuki finally said. “He might’ve died in that explosion and the last thing I said to him wasn’t ‘I love you’ or ‘Hey, stay safe, this could be dangerous.’ It was me making fun of him for having a good relationship with a friend.”

And maybe that was the core of her regret. She hadn’t been able to ensure that he knew she cared.

“As you know, the Wadjet system was offline for maintenance those few days. I hadn’t been able to save any backups to the cloud for most of that time,” Aiba said. “My last memories of Date were me yelling at him for using me to watch porn, and then running off.”

Mizuki had known that Aiba didn’t have any backups from the time she had been away from him, but hearing that stung more than she could’ve ever expected. Through the neurolink, she could feel Aiba’s grief. She wasn’t the only one who the last thing she would’ve said to him was something he regretted. “Aiba…”

“When I died in the chemical plant, Date made sure that the last thing I heard was how much I mattered to him, and I can’t even verify if I did the same.” Aiba lifted her projected hand off of Mizuki, putting both her hands on her lap. “But neither of us could’ve known that would be the last time we’d see him again.”

“I know. Do you think he knew, when he…?”

“I’m sure he did,” Aiba said.

Mizuki nodded, putting her head back on Adorabbit as she hugged the plush toy a little tighter, but with her heart a little lighter. “Thank you, Aiba.”

Aiba smiled at Mizuki before her holographic image vanished. “Would you like me to call Iris? See if she’d be willing to get a celebration ready?”

“I probably should at least let all of my friends know, and it would be a good idea to help me get my mind off things for now. This is supposed to be a good night, after all.”

The reminder that not everybody important to her would be able to celebrate with them still stung, but one day, she’d find the answers, she’d get the creep who caused them both this pain behind bars as a Psyncer.

And then maybe on that day, thinking about Date would get a little bit easier.

#AI The Somnium Files #aitsf #Mizuki Okiura #aiba aitsf #kaname date #(He's mentioned but the fic is largely about him so he does get a tag)#boss aitsf

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dietcherrycolaghostgirl · 1 year

Text

🎀 Life update split into little paragraphs (10) to make it easier to read 🎀

I am doing really well, barely eaten over the past week, yesterday I had to eat normally to pretend to my mum that I’m fine and I purged a lot thankfully (I’m getting pretty good at it now) and today I had low cal fibre bars to push down anything that’s left over.

Then I had a chew and spit binge, because I need to pretend I actually ate stuff so yeah I had to do some cooking but I’m actually still doing good because other than the low cal fibre bars I haven’t actually eaten anything else.

I have the rest of today then 3 more days to fast and maybe chew and spit some more but I also have a lot of studying I need to do because I have a deadline on Monday then another on Wednesday. Man, this whole ed thing makes you have to plan things and I’m so disorganised and I’m super bad for procrastinating.

The one bad thing is I picked my skin pretty badly yesterday so it’s all red and blotchy and bad but it’s ok I can deal with it, I will buy a face mask later.

Right now I’m gonna clean the entire house (get my steps up) then go get my face mask, then come back and do some work. My grandparents are also supposed to be dropping food here but I have no idea when, I also need to work out what I’m gonna do with it. Tomorrow I’ll get up at 4am to study because I find that works well. I need to stop having so much black tea and coffee because it’s making my teeth yellow too.

Sorry that’s a lot of updates in one go but I’ve been drowning in brain fog recently, for obvious reasons.

Feelings:

I can feel and see my ribs and hip bones and my shoulders are bony and my legs look thinner and I weigh the same as I did at like 14 before puberty so I’m pretty happy about it.

I hAte that I had to eat yesterday but it’s a small sacrifice if I consider that if I was found out I’d be forced into recovery. I’m annoyed at myself for eating four 78 kcal birthday cake fibre bars today but that’s 312 kcals that will go straight through me and later I will do 6000 steps which is 300 kcals to make up for it and an extra workout later this evening. Also since I won’t eat for the next three days the fibre will be necessary, especially to get rid of yesterday’s leftovers (bread hurts to purge ok) I mean that’s not much considering extreme hunger, it could have been a lot worse (it almost was hence the zero kcal chew and spit ‘binge’), besides it’s probably good to have a metabolism day to speed up the weight loss :)

I’m proud of myself because I normally binge when I’m with my mum but I turned down some of her suggestions (like getting fries) and I didn’t overeat (by a normal person standard) and while it hurt my stomach so bad because it’s probably smaller by now, it meant I wasn’t suspected and I’m ok now to ⭐️ve for 3 days. Though I do wish I had lied and said I already ate lunch, I didn’t think of lying at the time but it’s ok I’ll remember next time.

Sorry for rambling but thank you for reading this far and I’ll keep ⭐️ving and updating and all that good stuff. Love ya byeeeee 💖💖🎀

#anor3×14 #tw ana diary #ed bllog #rexy girl #anarec1a #restrictive ana #ana y mia #tw ana diet #edbllr #ed but not sheeran #tw ed diet

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survivor-trinidad-and-tobago · 10 months

Text

Episode 13: "Garfgoyle give me strength 🙏🏽"—Tony

In this round: After Michael begging Tony to flip for several rounds, Tony finally makes the jump; Zee absolutely dominates 24-Hour Tasks; Champ plays a Safety Without Power since she lost her vote due to Masochism anyway; Champ gives the Bank Your Vote advantage she got from eman to Zee, who banks her vote; and Jack is left as the only one in that alliance able to receive OR cast votes, which sends him to Purgatory even with his Grow As You Go idol nullifying two votes

Alex

Michael's a fucking king. Like. Pulling that Chaos Idol out of his back pocket like that? Incredible. Then the teamwork of each of us figuring out a step in making it happen? OBSESSED WITH THOSE TWO!!! Everyone on the other side is blatantly lying to either me or Kaleigh LMAO except for Tony so MAYBE we can get Tony to work with us to take out Champ tomorrow. That's gonna rely pretty heavily on Michael, I know, and it feels like he'd be in kind of a tough spot no matter who comes back from Purgatory if he did flip, but also Tony might see it as an opportunity to make a move in this game since the girls are running the show over there. If not, I'll go to rocks, I don't care lmao and I know Kaleigh feels the same way. Lemme go out on my terms, baby. Not sure about Michael, he's been feeling too rough post wisdom teeth surgery to talk game, but I do feel that he'd be more willing to go to rocks than Jack or Tony. Entering merge, I wouldn't have guessed I would've been working so opposite Eman this game, and it sucks that's how that played out, but it just seemed like we didn't see each other as actual options for moving forward together (even before the Colin vote). I really thought Eman or Tony were gonna win Masochism and save each other, though.

Anyways 24 hours tasks is the bane of my existence. I legit was playing it all through the night while still camping and hanging with friends and I still feel like I'm not doing enough so that's super fun. I'm afraid to take a shower in case I miss another post that I'll probably fuck up by misreading a component of the prompt. So we're having a fun time right now. I don't feel like I'm going to win this game and I have no idea how many words this is but I'm hoping that we've reached 50 because I'm not living la vida loca right now.

Kaleigh

this game is honestly driving me crazy. I can’t believe that zee is so far ahead of everyone even though Alex and I both stayed up until like 6 AM and Tony has been really playing his little heart out. This is just crazy I really don’t want Zee to win immunity LMAO I don’t even know why I don’t think we’re going for her but I guess we’ll see. poor michael is still laid up with his jaw swollen from wisdom teeth surgery so it truly is just me and alex LOL god i hope we can get tony to swing to our side. here’s hoping !! pray for us!!

Michael

Seems like the challenge is over already but why not do one. Also my mom kept me from posting in time. This round has been exciting to say the least. At the previous tribal council my alliance and I were able to pull off a successful play of the chaos idol, which only adds to my resume at this point. I fear that this makes me a large target? But I can't let fear keep me from making moves. Classic survivor bby.

Zee

They had us in the first half, I'm not gonna lie. I woke up at seven this morning after going to sleep super late last night because I thought people would sleep and I could catch up. I woke up FORTY POINTS BEHIND. Anyway nobody really went to sleep but I've mostly made that up by now with a solid 20 point lead, I'm just unsure if I can keep that up until the deadline tonight

Champ

Omg sorry I have like 15 minutes to put this in! I’m gonna play my safety without power so I’ll be in final 6! Yay :)

Kaleigh

okay that 24 hour task challenge was hell on earth. and also kinda fun. but would have been more fun if i won. i stayed up till SIX AM TO LOSE. LIKE! okay hats off to zee tho she fought for her life fr. um. so. last night’s tribal. was nuts. a little bit before it started, michael sent me and alex info about this CHAOS IDOL advantage he had purchased (FROM WHERE ? STILL DONT KNOW) and he had to solve a riddle and then unscramble a sentence and say the sentence at tribal to activate it. fucken a. we did it. we did it ALL!! anyway the chaos idol protects whoever has had a vote cast against them, so we voted for each other and evvvvveryone else voted for alex. so we 3 were protected and they had to revote one of them out lmfaooo a couple mins into voting, eman was like put the votes on me, i’ll come back! and they ended up going home, with just two votes on jack. it was an insane move. michael is rly pissing these ppl off LMFAOOO i am obsessed. zee messaged me before tribal yday and was like girl i j wanna let u know they are gunning for u LMFAOOO BABY YOU REALLY THINK I AM A FOOL!!! LIKE WHAT!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO! after tribal she messages me and is like “i convinced them to vote for alex!” HAHAHAHA MY GODDD!!! now she’s trying to convince me that michael is a huge threat blah blah we should vote him out no one would see it coming if i swapped to them lmaoo. god. i was like babes champ doesn’t have a vote why would i swap now. lets go to rocks babes. idc. she also kept trying to convince me that michael is talking to everyone over there and apologizing for flipping and wants to work with them LMFAOOO NOT THE MICHAEL I KNOW!!!!!!!! so she is being wild, jack and champ are both messaging me without talking game, like y’all please give me a break. please. please! god i’m so glad we dont have tribal tonight. i am dog sitting this chihuahua who literally will whine until i TUCK HIM IN. WITH A BLANKET. it’s absolutely insane and adorable. michael thinks we can get tony to flip to us, which like… tony should. absolutely. but will he? i don’t FUCKING know. would it be a bigger move to flip to us to get one of them out, or to trick us into trusting him and get one of us out? either way he’s on the bottom of either alliance and is boned :( like, oopsies. um. idk if we’re gonna toss all our votes on 1 person and hope for no idol or put 2 each on champ and jack and hope they dont have an extra vote or whatever, then revote after the tie and get champ out. still dyin to know who PREVAILED in purgatory today. will i play my steal a vote? my idol? i dont knoooooow. it depends on what they do and who’s back from purgatory. ok. i’m tired.

Michael

Soooo, I think my time is near. I very well may be going home tonight. Zee and Champ are trying to Flip Kaleigh, and I honestly wouldn't blame her for flipping now but Zee and Champ are a dangerous duo. Hopefully Kaleigh stays with us, I absolutely adore playing with Kaleigh. But my spidersense is tingling hardcore. I've had fun!

Tony

That last challenge was hella fun! But goddamn I cannot stay up to save my life. Eman and I had something solid going with our alliance, but with them gone it’s time for me to flip over to the 28+ club. I’m making the flip at tomorrows tribal. Garfgoyle give me strength 🙏🏽. We’re gonna have to be smart about this, but from here on out, it’s gotta be Michael and I to the end 🤙🏽

Alex

It's funny that, like, one of my earliest confessionals in the game was me talking about like 'oooh am I gonna play a villian game???' after the lie about the extra vote being just a Shot in the Dark and now I'm ride or die with Michael and Kaleigh to the point that I am willing to go home tonight in rocks or have Kaleigh play her idol on Michael instead of me. And if that's the case, then the girls are playing are playing better than I thought because they are actually banking on us having an idol and believing they're gonna target Michael this time even though they've targeted me twice. Oh well. We'll see what happens.

Jack

I’ve been super busy but even with my two negated votes with the amulet I still think I will go home lol hopefully me champ and zee r all safe but we’ll see

Tribal Council

youtube

Lost Votes: Champ, Zee

Jack: Michael (sry baby ur too iconic at tribal)

Alex: Jack (This wasn’t the plan, but I wasn’t expecting Champ to do that. Sorry, buddy.)

Kayleigh: Jack (SORRY BABES <3 GL)

Michael: Jack (Damn, didn’t want to do this right now but kind of have to. Hope your vacation is fun!)

Tony: Jack (it’s been fun playing with you! You’re always great at breaking up tense moments with humor and it’s much appreciated!)

#episodes #Youtube

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keefwho · 1 year

Text

December 15 - 2022

10:19 AM

The new episode of Mob Psycho got me thinking like every episode does. The whole show is built around Mob having suppressed his emotions and the effect that has on him as a person and his relationships. I think a lot of people can relate to this, me included. Maybe not to such a huge degree as represented in the show, but still. My entire personal journey has been based around opening up to my own feelings and accepting them as part of who I am rather than trying to eliminate them. This show basically reinforces this line of thinking and gives other context for it which has been helpful.

Sometimes I catch myself slipping up and suppressing things again. I think I should avoid that at all costs since its like the foundation of all my growth. I’ve started underplaying my anxiety with the explanation of “I’m getting better.” That is true, but I think I’m expecting myself to have improved more than I actually should have by now. I have to remain realistic and compassionate about my progress. There is no deadline for when I should be “fixed.” No one is holding this to me. This is a personal journey that I’m allowed to take at my own pace.

12:17 PM

My tummy had a bad little episode this morning but I did see this coming. I wasn’t SURE it would happen because sometimes it feels like it will but it won’t. But it did. I’m okay right now, I didn’t freak out or anything. It just sucks because it’s still physically miserable. I’ve abandoned commissions today because I’m 2 days ahead and I still have requests to do and I feel like garbage now so I figure I should take it easy. I can afford it.

I want to get better about not checking my temperature so much. Usually if I just remember it exists, I figure I might as well check even if I feel okay. I want to stop doing that. However there are days like today where it was more warranted and helped to set my mind at ease. The biggest thing that worries me in general is not knowing because it’s easy to assume the worst. Im gonna try to reserve using my thermometer for when there’s an actual reason for it.

Maybe I should try to be more active to help my tummy. I know my problem could be caused by many things I’ve looked into. I might try making sure I eat plenty of fiber, exercising more, and continue working on my stress. I feel like I need some daily physical activity but not necessarily a whole workout. Just something to get me moving. Maybe strenuous VR games to start. Like the boxing game I have or doing Just Dance in VRchat or something.

1:07 PM

UGH my tummy isn’t quite done yet but I predicted this too. Usually there’s a second smaller incident. I just hope it stops here so I can recover and salvage the day.

2:33 PM

I hate to do this but I gotta chill today. I’m not gonna try to be productive until 6pm, I’m gonna consider my day done right now. I hate that this has to happen while I have Christmas things to get done.

5:52 PM

Holy SHIT I make a big mistake. When I went to take my parent’s dogs out and check their fire, I let my dog out too and forgot about her. I think it was only for about 30 minutes but that was still really bad. I’ve never forgotten her outside like that before. She could have run off or been attacked. The good thing is I don’t see myself doing this again.

10:46 PM

Something is still going through my body but it hasn’t been painful at least. I just don’t have an appetite which is worrying because I don’t want to skip dinner but I can’t find anything I wanna eat. Maybe I can start with a little applesauce, it might kickstart my hunger. This should all go away tomorrow. This kind of thing generally doesn’t last more than a whole day. Although there was that time in June where it went on for a couple weeks and kickstarted the massive change in my life I’ve been going through ever since. A lot of that was probably in my head though.

I know if I make myself snack until I get the appropriate amount of calories that I’ll be healthier for it. Its tricky because I try to listen to my body but my body says not to eat. But I will feel worse if I don’t and I know it. Sometimes my body is wrong.

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leejafythe · 2 years

Text

Till Sea Sickness Suffering

FFXIV Write 2022 Entry: Cross

692 words

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41451882

__________________________

On a quiet evening in the Rising Stones, Leeja Fythe, the Warrior of Light, was going through her gear and supplies while humming to herself. She was making her final preparations to make the crossing to Kugane the following day. She finished folding her clothing and placed it in her pack as a gentle tap at her doorway pulled her away from her bag. “Hi sweetheart” she smiled warmly at Thancred who walked in and closed the door. He rested his hands on her hips, being careful not to touch the still healing wound across her stomach.

“Are you sure this is wise?” Leeja sighed softly and rested her head back against him.

“I am. I know I’m still recovering but I promise I’ll be careful” she turned to face him and curled her arms around his middle gently. “I’ve been laid up for a fortnight already, I can’t keep being cooped up in bed and be expected to help free a nation while laid up.”

“I’d say be careful, yet I know what you’re like. So, my dear, be as careful as you can?”

“I promise to try and I have Alisaie and Lyse to kick my arse if I get too out of hand and Alphinaud to patch up any injuries I might get” she grinned as he chuckled.

“I daresay they will join you in whatever chaos comes your way” she purred as she kissed him.

“Urgh is this the sight I’m going to be greeted with every time you two are together?” Lyse huffed in the doorway and rolled her eyes, though there was a soft smile on her face. “Then again, it’s better than seeing you pining after each other and not going through with actually going through with talking to each other.

“Oh shush you. I take it you’ve got the time our ship is leaving?” She purred softly as Thancred massaged the base of her ears.

“I do. Just after sunrise. Don’t keep her up too late? We do have a deadline to keep” Lyse smirked and left the room.

Leeja huffed and bumped her head against his chest gently. “You’d best pack your things and get some rest, you have a long journey tomorrow.”

“Aye, and we won’t see each other for a while so I will make the most of our last night together” she looked up at him. “Give me a few moments to pack then?”

“Of course, darling. I can come to Limsa with you in the morning and see you off as well” he let go of Leeja and she quickly packed everything away in her bag and placed it by the door before locking it.

“Now, I believe we have a good few hours before I should sleep” she smirked at him.

________________

The sun had barely risen over Limsa when the Scions arrived on the docks for Carvellain. Leeja yawned and hugged Thancred “this is where we sadly part ways for now. I’ll see you soon, so long as everything goes right on our end” she smiled sadly.

“You’d best keep apprised of your journey and I mean it when I say be careful” he brushed her hair from her face and gave her a tender kiss. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon” they boarded the ship once they said their farewells and followed the pirate to their sleeping quarters.

________________

“Sea sickness?” Alphinaud put his hand on Leeja’s back. The crossing had been fine until the storm started. She nodded and heaved once again. She couldn’t keep food down and as a result, she was looking a little worse for wear. It had been a week since they set out. “I have a potion in my bag, let me go get it” he smiled sympathetically and went over to his bag, pulling out an amber coloured potion “try this, it should help.”

“My hero if it does” she popped the cork and downed it quickly, waiting for its effect to kick in.

When it did, the journey became a lot more tolerable and she no longer felt the urge to empty her stomach.

#ffxiv write 2022 #ffxiv #leeja fythe #stormblood #travel #entry #prompt: cross

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chai-ssi-latte · 2 years

Text

evermore 🌧💞💋

Henry Cavill

Dorothea Part Two

About: You didn’t expect reuniting with Henry would turn out this great. You couldn’t help but look back on the hell you went through just to reach this heaven.

Note: Dorothea was supposed to be a one-shot but since my inbox is full of requests for part two, here it is. Enjoy the rollercoaster ride of emotions :) <3

Masterlist | Prompt List | Masterlist (Taylor Swift Songfics)

Send a tip here :) | Donations/Tips are not required but is very much appreciated :> It will help me support myself in uni and my studies :)

Gif not mine :)

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Henry claimed.

“Yes.”

It took almost a month before you received a text from Henry, updating you about his trip to Los Angeles. He told you that it was fun, and he’s been auditioning for different roles side by side. You adored his hustle, at least he’s doing his best to make it really big out there while here you are not even sure if you’re undergrad course is really the one for you.

He hasn’t reached out ever since.

You took Film Studies on your first semester before shifting to Creative Writing on the second. Directing... Well, yes it’s a job in the industry you wanted to be a part of but you’re not sure if you wanted that much exposure in front of the camera. So here you are, trying your best to squeeze out the imaginations buried deep in your brain to create a story.

“Knock, knock.” it was your Mom’s voice.

“Yeah?” You called out, not removing your eyes on the computer screen.

“Can I come in?” Your Mom asked through the door.

“Yes, Mom.” You replied, your fingers typing furiously as you try not to lose your train of thought. Scene after scene flashes between your eyes as you put them into words. The door opened and you didn’t even bat an eyelash nor lift your head. You Mom has made herself comfortable on the bed, smiling as she looks at your hard working figure.

“What is it? I can’t be distracted.” You said in a joking manner.

Your mom chuckled, “I met Marianne at the grocery earlier. Apparently, Henry’s coming home tomorrow.” she said.

Your ears perked up, fingers stopping, and attention turned to your mom. “Really?”

“Really. It’s his first visit in a while. You should drop by.”

Your heart beats twice as fast as earlier, and you know damn well it wasn’t because of the deadline you’re trying to chase.

“Okay, I’ll leave you now hun,” Standing up, your Mom gave you a kiss on the head, laughing lightly at your dazed off self. “Finish whatever you’re doing. Mom is proud of you.” she stated lovingly, before closing the door behind her.

Are you excited? Maybe. You haven’t seen Henry in almost eight months. At the same time, you’re scared. The last text you received from him was also eight months ago. You haven’t texted him. There is zero communication between you and him after that update.

Will he be happy if you paid him a surprise visit? Hopefully. You are one of his childhood friends and well, he’s the only one worthy being called a childhood friend of yours.

The thought of Henry visiting Jersey still didn’t fail to put a smile on your face. You just can’t wait to see him again, and maybe give him a punch for not talking you for a few months.

“Is it one tablespoon or one teaspoon?” You asked, holding up the jar of baking powder.

Henry turned to you, playfully rolling his eyes. “Teaspoon,” he spoke, “and it’s two.”

“Right. I did say two though.” you jested, scooping two teaspoons of baking powder and putting it with the other dry ingredients for the blueberry muffin. Henry assigned you to the dry ones while he does the wet ingredients himself. He also made clear that he’ll be the one combining the two once you’re finished. Not my fault I can’t bake shit, you thought.

“Whisk, whisk, whisk...” you sang, passing by Henry who snickered when you bumped your hips to his. “Where’s the whisk again?” Henry pointed at the whisk, which is surprisingly just next to your bowl. “Oh. Well, sometimes my eyes don’t work, you know, especially when baking and cooking.” you almost chortled at your badly made excuse.

Returning to your spot, you mixed the dry ingredients together before handing the bowl to Henry. You watched him skillfully combine the ingredients before folding in the blueberry with a spatula.

“What now?” You quizzed.

“We need the tray.” Henry answered. You gave Henry the tray filled with liners and he silently divide the batter in each muffin cups.

“Why did we use a cupcake liner if we’re making a muffin?”

“They’re the same liners for both treats.”

“Why is it called just ‘cupcake’ liners then?” You were holding the packaging where the cupcake liners where once in.

“They’re multi-purpose.” Henry explained.

“Wh-”

“Y/N. Cupcake or muffin, they’re both baking cups that can be used interchangeably.”

Your lips pursed. “I’m just trying to get rid of the silence, you don’t need to be so serious. Are you Batman?”

“Ha ha.” Henry scoffed, putting the tray inside the preheated oven. “Now we wait for twenty minutes.”

Thank God, no one saw you. You were about to cross the road and yell at Henry when you saw him get off the car. Thank God, you didn’t because he was with someone. Henry even opened the car door for her, and she cling on his arm like a girlfriend. And by the looks of it, she may really be his girlfriend after all. You witnessed how Henry introduced her to Marianne and Colin. The surprised look on Marianne’s face was not that hard to miss, but she still covered it up with a big smile, pulling the girl into her arms and hugging her like a good Mom she is.

Your feet was temporarily nailed to the ground but when the car drove up and the space of the road was cleared, you knew that it would be easy for them to catch a glimpse of you so you ran. You ran and never looked back.

There was an ache in your chest when you went home. Both from the earlier events and the run you just did. You stopped the tears that have been trying to escape your eyes when you realized how stupid you were for showing up. Of course there’s a reason why Henry didn’t invite you over.

Damn it, Y/N, why do you have to be so difficult sometimes?

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Your Mom walked in from the kitchen, wiping the drops of water on her hands. You had your back pressed against the front door when your eyes connected to your Mom. “How’s your visit?”

Your forced a grin, “I... It was okay. I still need to finish a project, I’ll be up in my room.” You said your goodbye and quickly dashed yourself upstairs, the loud bang of the door echoing throughout the house.

Your mom noticed the pain in your eyes. The eyes that would tell her about your very first heart break. The pager that was placed on the living room’s coffee table beeped with a text. Deciding to talk about it later, your mom made herself towards the beeper.

Y/MN, I would love to have Y/N over but not today please. Henry brought a girlfriend and I didn’t know.

It read. It was almost like your ache was shared to your Mom. Another sigh escaped her lips. “Poor baby.” she muttered, referring to your probably heartbroken state.

“It’s so good!” you exclaimed, taking another bite from the muffin. When and where did Henry learned baking? You didn’t know and you won’t bother asking. All you want to do is enjoy the food he’s been providing you for the last three days of having you over.

“Slow down. We still have plenty.” Henry said, wiping the side of your mouth.

“Hmm, I’m trying to eat.” You playfully swat his hand away.

Silence fell between the two of you. Henry stared at you while you finish the best blueberry muffin you’ve ever had. “What were you asking again earlier?”

Henry beamed, the dimples on his cheeks appeared along the sparkle in his eyes. You’ve always loved his eyes, even the brown speck on his left one that if you don’t squint enough, you might miss it. “I was asking about Alice. You said something about her slandering my name when you told her about our past.”

“Oh, that. I told her us losing communication when you left. I explained how you’re probably just busy chasing your career path and stuff, but she said you’re still a dick for it.”

“Hm...”

“Are you sure about this?” Your mom asked for the thirtieth time, watching you pack your bags.

You gritted your teeth, “Yes, Mom. This is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.”

“You’ve never been out of the country, will you manage?”

“Mom, I’ve been living under your roof for the past twenty seven years. Don’t you want me to move out?”

“Well... You pay the bills.” Your mom tried to reason.

“Mom...” You trailed. You looked at her, seeing her eyes brimmed with tears.

“It’s just so far away.” She said. You stopped packing for a moment and went to your Mom, giving her the tightest hug you can, and whispering reassuring things on her ear.

“I love you, Mom, and I’ll always go back here. Jersey is my home.”

Your Mom has calmed down after a few minutes of comforting her. She helped you pack some of your clothes and the books that you need to take with you. You told her how big the opportunity that was offered to you to write as the screenwriter of a TV show. It is for the season two of an already big and established show and you couldn’t take it down.

Your colleagues from your last agency has been thriving outside Jersey. At first, you thought that maybe it just wasn’t for you and that you’re okay working with smaller projects in town. However, after realizing that you’re only staying in Jersey waiting for certain someone to remember you, you jumped on the job and book a flight to Boston.

You haven’t seen Henry for ten years and a lot has happened. He probably forgot about you by now. Plus, how many movies and shows has it been? Thirteen? Fifteen? Most probably a lot to count now. You heard that he even won an Emmy Award.

The sound of leaves crushing under your feet was calming. The cold breeze somehow soothe your burning chest and your aching heart. You’ll miss Jersey for sure. And in all honesty, you’re not ready to leave the place yet. You’re twenty seven now and should’ve been out and about independently but there was still a string pulling you back.

Beneath all the façade you put up, you’re still yearning for Henry to remember you. Yearning for that moment, that one day, he’ll miraculously appear on your front door apologizing for cutting ties with you and mending the relationship you both once had.

“Y/N?”

You lifted your head that was glued on the cobblestones. It was Henry’s mom, Marianne. She had her purse on one hand, and a huge bag of grocery on the other.

Usually, it would be her husband who’d do the grocery if it’s a big one. “Big event dinner?” You asked, smiling.

“Uh,” Marianne frowned, furrowing her eyebrows as she tried to find the right words to say, “Henry... he’s-”

“Visiting home?”

“Engaged,” Marianne announced. “We’re celebrating.”

“Oh,” was the only thing you can voice out.

“Y/N. Henry tried to-”

“I’m sorry Marianne. I’m also in a bit of a rush.” You uttered, “I’ll see you around.”

Marianne always knew how you felt about Henry. During your visitations back in high school days, she would always tell you that she would love you to be Henry’s girlfriend one day, maybe even her son’s future wife. You told her that you like her son very much and that even though Henry does not feel the same way, you’re happy just being by his side. Marianne laughed at that, saying Henry liked you too.

“Why is your room so big?”

“I’m a big man.”

“You can fit a mini living room here.” You sat on the bed, feeling the soft blanket and comforter. “How much is your mattress?” You questioned, bouncing as you test its softness. Soft but not too soft, it’s a perfect in between for a mattress.

“About two...”

“Hundred?”

“Thousand.”

Your jaw dropped, “Um, no thanks. I’ll just visit you to sleep on this bed.” You took your shoes off and plopped on the bed.

Henry snickered, “You’re always welcome here, Y/N.”

“I know. I’m taking your bed, by the way. You can sleep in the couch.”

“Sure.” said Henry, sarcastically. He lied down next to you, about half an arm away. It has been two weeks since the reunion, and you have been back and forth in his house for the past three days.

You and Henry had talked about everything. Him losing contact after moving, the drama of him not visiting you and you not getting invited over, even the unannounced engagement he didn’t bother telling you about; they were all resolved.

There was a strict call when he signed in with an agency. He had a pager and eventually a phone then, but they were all controlled by his manager. Those were in the early days. He was not allowed to have a relationship unless they know who it is and well, unless she has a name that can push his name out there.

The relationships he had? Apparently, he heard news about you dating and seeing guys. Henry took it as you moving on, and yes, he knew you both had something special. It was complicated yet simple, something that you both don’t need to put a label into. You just knew that you’re both committed to each other.

They say that lack of communication can ruin relationships and maybe that’s what happened to yours and Henry. He had apologized a million times by now, and you’ve always assured him that it’s all okay and in the past. You’re just happy to have him back again.

“Don’t sleep on me, please.” Henry whispered, but you heard it.

“I’m awake.” You said inaudibly.

“Have I told you when I went to your house in 2012? But you weren’t there. Not even your Mom.”

Your eyes opened. You faced Henry, urging him to go on.

“My engagement was called off,” He started, “You’re the first person that came into my mind.”

Henry nervously tapped his foot on the floor. Standing in your family’s front porch has never been this scary. Taking a deep breath, he took big strides and knock on the door.

“Oh, hello?” It was opened by a woman he’s not familiar with. He looked at the house plaque. He’s sure that this is your house number. He can’t forget it.

“Um, I’m looking for Mrs. Y/MN?”

“Oh the previous owner? They moved out.”

“Moved out?” Henry raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. Two days ago, Mrs. Y/MN and her daughter picked up the remaining things that they own. We bought this house one week ago.”

“Uh, thank you.” Henry stepped back, getting ready to leave, “Um, do you happen to know where they move Miss?” he blurted.

“No. Sorry. But the last thing I heard from them was something about London. I’m not entirely sure.”

London? Henry thought. You’ve always swore you won’t leave Jersey for any other country. Still.. Time has passed. “Thank you,” Henry expressed his gratitude once again. He’s too late. You’re already gone.

“London?!” you yelped out. “Oh my god. We moved to the beach house! I can’t leave Saint Helier like that!”

Henry roared with laughter, he knew that. His mind was just too blank that time to think about your loyalty to Jersey.

“She probably heard about my next project which was going to be in London, and she assumed we’re moving there,” You expressed.

“Probably,” Henry responded. “It didn’t stop me to book a flight to London the next day though,”

Your eyes widened, the feeling of sleepiness now off your body. “Henry!”

“I was really eager to find you.” He argued, “There was a lot of things in my mind. A lot of possibilities of what I can have with you, especially when Mom told me you’re living alone, no significant other, and waiting for someone.”

“And you thought I was waiting for you?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. You knew deep down he’s the one you’re heart was waiting for. “Youuuu?” you dragged your word.

“Mom told me,” Henry mentioned. “She told me you dropped by one day and told her to tell me you love me. And that you’re sorry for not being brave enough to say it to my face.”

“She couldn’t tell it to me when I was engaged and the chances of getting married is high. She knew what we had was special. And she also mentioned the fact that I might just call off the engagement and ran to you once I knew that you’re in love with me.”

“I love you, you know,” Henry was almost whispering when he said that. “I tried to fill the void of you when you were gone, but turns out, filling the void that’s already occupied by others doesn’t really work well.”

A gasp escaped your lips. Your heart burning with desire and love. After all these years, you still feel the same about him. And he did with you. A happy tear escaped your eye and Henry wiped it away.

You are now facing each other, with a smaller gap between the two of you. You can feel his breathing and smell his minty breath.

“I was waiting for you.” You uttered. “Still am.”

Henry smiled, “No need to wait for me. I’m already here.”

It was a quick and chaste but you felt it. And at that moment, that’s the only thing that matters. Henry kissed the tip of your nose as he wait for your eyes to open. “Can I kiss you again?” he asked when you did.

“Yes.”

The pain that you thought would last forever has ended. Contentment and happiness shivered on your spine as you felt Henry’s hand on your waist, lips still locked to one another.

Henry’s lips trailed down your neck, giving subtle pecks before going back to your lips. You kissed him just as passionate. With your hand on his cheek, Henry tugged on your shirt.

“Hm...” you moaned through the kiss.

“I need this off.” He said.

The kissing stopped for a moment, both of you sitting up and removing as many clothing as you can before returning to the business. What was that word again? You thought, Oh... Finally.

#henry cavill #henry cavill masterlist #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill imagines #henry cavill one shot #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x oc #Chai's Masterlist

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katebishopsheart · 2 years

Note

Omggg I love your Kate fics so much!! Could I request one for reader being really stressed out with work and life and Kate comforting them/trying to make them feel better?

– date 3.5. | kate bishop

summary | you get sick, but kate's there to take care of you

pairing | kate bishop x gn!reader

word count | 1k

warnings | fluff, reader coughing and sneezing, food

a/n | i decided to make it sick instead of stressed since i've been that recently HAHAHA this took a bunch of time to write cuz 1) exams and 2) bpd :D anyway. i hope u like this anon <3

‘y/n? hello, earth to y/n?’

kate’s voice snaps you out of your daze.

‘right, sorry. zoned out for a bit.’

‘you’ve been zoning out an awful lot recently,’ she chuckles, but you get the sense she’s more concerned than humoured.

‘i know,’ you say, rubbing your eyes, ‘i’m sorry. my boss has just been a major pain in the ass recently.’

‘what’s she been doing?’

‘two people in my team quit, which means i have to do all their work for this block. while getting paid the same measly amount.’

kate looks offended on your behalf. it’s only your third date, but she is already very enamoured with you.

‘you should let me talk to your boss. i’ll straighten her out.’ there is not a single hint of sarcasm in her voice.

‘kate,’ you laugh. ‘it’s alright. it probably shouldn’t be like this for long.’

‘i know, but you still don’t deserve to be treated like this.’ the expression on her face softens with pity. ‘if you ever need any help, i’m your girl.’

you chuckle. ‘sure, kate. next time i need help with writing down some numbers in an excel sheet, the first person i’m gonna ask for help is an avenger.’

‘hey,’ she shrugs, ‘your loss.’

you simply laugh in response.

‘we still have that dinner with the team,’ she says, hopefully. ‘are you gonna be able to make it tonight?’

you draw in a hissed breath through your teeth apologetically. ‘i don’t think so, sorry. i have the deadline tomorrow morning and i have a crapload of work to get done.’ your tone seemed genuinely sad. ‘rain check, though?’

‘yeah, no, it’s fine. no big deal,’ kate says. although, she really had been hoping to introduce her two worlds together. it was a big deal, but it wasn’t right to blame you.

‘kate,’ you say, taking her hands in yours. ‘i’m really sorry. you have no idea. i’m missing a dinner with the freaking avengers, for crying out loud.’ that makes her laugh. ‘i don’t like it, but this job is all i have. i’m really sorry.’

‘i understand,’ kate says, giving you a small smile.

‘it’s a shame y/n couldn’t come,’ clint says, ‘this lasagne was the peak of my cooking career.’

everyone at the table laughs. kate walks up to where he’s standing at the kitchen countertop.

‘how about you pack the leftovers and i’ll drop it by their place?’

clint shrugs. ‘sure. give me one minute.’

and that’s how kate was walking in the freezing cold of january nyc, alone and without a jacket, holding the warm tiffin of lasagne close to her chest.

she walks up to your apartment, rings the doorbell. three seconds pass by, and you open the door.

you look… not like your usual self. your hair looks like you’ve been electrocuted slightly, the eye bags under are more visible than ever, and your nose is unusually red.

‘hey,’ kate says as you beckon her to come inside, ‘you look— are you alright?’

‘yeah,’—a vehement cough—‘why?’

kate looks at you, with a small perplexed smile. ‘hard at work?’

‘i’d think so.’

kate looks at your apartment, with stacks of paper lying around. (in the 21st century, that too. it baffled her to no bounds.)

‘okay…’ she walks over to your couch—the only place in the living room not infiltrated by the forms—taking long strides on the way, wary of stepping on the piles of paper.

‘i brought you some lasagne,’ she says, holding up the bag.

‘oh, my god,’ you muse, walking over the papers like it’s no big deal, ‘that’s so nice of you.’

‘ah, no problem. clint made it. it’s actually pretty good.’

‘thank you.’ you head to the kitchen countertop and place the bag on it. ‘i guess my can of beans is gonna have to wait for another busy night.’

kate’s eyes widen slightly. ‘i’m glad i brought the lasagne then.’

you cough again, and kate’s expression hardens.

‘are you sure you’re okay?’

‘yes, i’m fine.’ a sneeze. and then another.

kate looks at you, her brows raised skeptically. ‘you sure about that?’

your eyes guiltily flit to the wall. ‘i don’t know.’

‘we need to get you in bed. and why the hell is it so cold in here?’

‘the thermostat’s broken. and i can’t; i have to work.’

‘y/n… you look like you’re gonna pass out any second now.’

you felt like that too.

‘it’s easier to give in,’ kate shrugs, with a small smile.

‘okay, i made you soup,’ she says, carrying a tray with a bowl on it, entering your room. she reaches your side, and places the tray below. her hand goes up to your forehead.

‘you’re really hot,’ she says, worried.

‘thank you,’ you joke.

she narrows her eyes at you, but out of affection. ‘would you happen to have a thermometer around here?’

‘in the second drawer.’

she pulls it out, and places it under your arm. glancing at the clock, she says, ‘now we wait.’

‘thank you for this, by the way,’ you say, looking up at her. ‘you didn’t have to spend your saturday night taking care of me.’

i’d gladly spend a hundred more saturday nights taking care of you, kate thinks. ‘it’s no problem,’ is what she says instead.

a minute—full of gazing into each other’s souls—later, she pulls the thermometer out, and holds it up to read the value.

‘98,’ she mutters. ‘that’s not bad.’

you hum in response, not taking your eyes off of her. ‘you know, this wasn’t an ideal fourth date.’

she laughs. ‘i wasn’t aware this was a date.’

you smile. ‘too bad we can’t kiss.’

kate presses her eyelids shut for a moment. ‘i don’t have anywhere to go, so—’

‘pfft,’ you say, smacking her lightly on the arm.

the two of you erupt into laughter.

‘okay, but for real, i want a real fourth date, okay?’

‘yeah, yeah,’ you tease. ‘this can be date 3.5.’

‘good,’ she grins.

thank you so much for reading!!

#kate bishop x reader #kate bishop fluff #kate bishop x you #kate bishop fanfiction #hawkeye #really wish i could have made it longer but im sorry i couldnt </3

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skzsauce01 · 3 years

Text

Angel Sent From Up Above

Anniversary Request Special

Synopsis: Hyunjin, a new guardian angel, has fallen in love with a human. His human’s girlfriend, to be precise. Angel AU, background college AU and skater AU.

Warning: violence

Word Count: 8.3k

Pairing: fem!reader x guardian angel!Hyunjin; fem!reader x human!Jeongin

“Is she healed now?” Hyunjin asks the moment Jisung flies in. He knows Jisung is probably exhausted from keeping maladies away from you, but he needs the answer now. “Is her flu gone?”

“Yeah.” Jisung’s wings are tinged gray with ruin, but he keeps them on display for all the other guardian angels to see as he walks past them. They are proof that he has been doing his duty. They’ll return to white soon enough anyway. “Your human’s her boyfriend. Why didn’t you try to check through him? He visited a few times even though she told him not to.” Jisung sighs and shakes his head. “What an idiot. He’s going to get sick himself.”

“He hasn't visited recently, so I haven’t been able to check through him. The Archangel’s forbade me going to Earth unless it was something serious. I think he’s worried I'm spending too much time with humans.”

Jisung shakes his head. “I think he’s worried that he’s going to have to Seungmin you.”

“I'm not going to get expelled.”

Jisung shrugs, and ruin falls from his wings like ash. “You better watch out. You checked up on her too much last time she got sick, so he's probably trying to make sure you won't abandon your human. He's banished people for less. Case in point: Seungmin.”

“She's important to Jeongin, so she's important to me."

Jisung sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re more protective of her than I am.”

He says it as a joke, but Hyunjin knows it’s the truth. He cares deeply about you, maybe even more than his own human, but he will never say that last part aloud.

Hyunjin used to believe that becoming a guardian angel was the best thing that ever happened to him. All of his afterlife, he had wanted to be promoted, to be granted the pure white wings and the crown of sun rays. Regular angels had wings and halos but never white wings and golden halos; silver and silver was the “regular” combination.

Watching over a human was considered the highest honor an angel could receive, and everyone clamored to gain the attention of the Archangel. Hyunjin was not immune. He worked as a messenger for years, delivering even the most inane notes between the higher ups. He endured the attacks, verbal and sometimes physical, and kept his mouth shut. Eventually, the Archangel recognized his efforts, and before dawn broke on Earth, Hyunjin was named the new guardian angel of a baby boy, Yang Jeongin.

“You will protect him. You will guide him,” the Archangel said. “He is your responsibility now and yours alone. Do you understand?”

From Heaven, Hyunjin could only look at the wet, wrinkled face of his human. His human. “I understand.”

Then the Archangel flew off, and Hyunjin flew to Earth for the first time to meet the baby. No one noticed him as he phased through the hospital walls nor as his giant wings folded back. Only Jeongin would be able to see his guardian angel.

“Hello there, little one,” he whispered to the swaddled baby. The boy was fast asleep, and Hyunjin gently stroked his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hyunjin, your official guardian angel. I’ll always be nearby now, and I’ll always make sure you’re safe. Sometimes you won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be watching over you. I promise.”

Jeongin stirred awake and stared back at Hyunjin. Two sets of eyes blinked at each other, one full of curiosity and one full of tenderness.

“Go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said. He drew his hand over the baby’s face, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams, little one.”

Guardian angels talked about their humans like parents, bragging about how gifted they were and sharing complaints about what unbelievable thing they did the other day. Hyunjin mostly did the latter. Jeongin was an adventurous child, which was just a nice way of saying that he liked to play with danger. Hyunjin often had to fly in to save him or to redirect the threat somewhere else. The other angels joked that Hyunjin stayed on Earth more than Heaven sometimes. He didn’t mind though. Even with his human’s shortcomings, Hyunjin adored him. He watched from above as Jeongin said his first words, attended his first day of kindergarten, and got into his first fight.

“He’s a troublemaker,” Minho observed.

Minho was a guardian angel as well, but he tended to lurk on the outer edges of the realm as the other angels avoided him for a reason Hyunjin hadn’t figured out yet. Hyunjin liked him well enough and treated him like a mentor, sometimes a friend.

“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Your human started a black market of candy at school.”

Minho shrugged. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

Jeongin didn’t end up growing up into a troublemaker, to Hyunjin’s relief. The impulsive streak was still there, but he utilized his judgement more now. There were no car crashes or cases of alcohol poisoning, and when Jeongin asked out girls, it was with daisy bouquets and a suggestion to get lunch. Hyunjin slowly stopped making routine trips to Earth and chose to view Jeongin from the comfort of Heaven. It was there that Hyunjin noticed you.

“I think she’s upset with him,” Jisung abruptly says. “She cried after a video call with him, so if your human starts acting strangely, that’s why.”

The news makes Hyunjin stop mid-step, and he turns to his friend. “She cried? What? What did she cry about?”

“I don’t know. I was too busy trying to lower her temperature. Can you believe that she almost hit—”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I just got back! There is no ‘earlier!’ Besides, we aren't allowed to interfere in anything that isn't dangerous. Heartbreak, if this is even what this is, is temporary."

“Humans do drastic things for love.” The movies has seen while watching Jeongin have told him that much.

“Which we will attend to when it happens. You’re a new guardian; you’ll understand them better over time. Not everything is life-threatening, fragile as they are.”

Hyunjin turns away from Jisung and glances down at Earth. The clouds part, and all of the brick buildings of the university rush towards his eyes as he focuses on Jeongin. He’s asleep at his desk, his lamp still burning bright above him. How long has it been since the video call? Or perhaps he’s just tired from the events of his day. But he looks so small and vulnerable in his chair. Jeongin isn’t fragile — the amount of situations he has gotten out of covered in bruises and blood is astronomical — but he is mortal.

“But she loves him,” Hyunjin softly says, “and he loves her.”

“Exactly. Humans fight over small things all the time, and this is one of those times.” Jisung places a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder to placate him. “Trust me.”

“... I trust you.”

“Good. I need to rest, but we can catch up and see what stupid things they do after.”

The moment Jisung flies off to the rest area, Hyunjin goes against the Archangel’s orders and flies to your apartment. When he peers inside your bedroom window, he spots you sitting in bed in the dark, your phone screen illuminating your face. He phases inside and sits at your desk chair, resting his forearms at the top rail. You can’t see him, but he wishes that you could.

You mindlessly scroll through messages, sniffling every few seconds. Whether it’s from your crying or your illness, he doesn’t know. He can’t hand you a tissue or tell you comforting things or hug you like Jeongin can. When you wrap your blanket tighter around your shoulders, he wraps his wings around himself as well.

Suddenly you throw your phone beside you and let out a heavy sigh. “It can’t get any worse than this,” you say to yourself.

Hyunjin waits for you to say more, but you only stare at the ceiling with blank eyes. He can’t compel you to talk; only Jisung can, but he’s not here. So instead, Hyunjin knocks over the glass of water on your bed when you shift into a more comfortable position.

“Of course it can,” you sigh again and blot as much water as you can with your tissues. You pull another one out of the box with more force than necessary and furiously dab your sheets. “First I get sick, then I miss a homework deadline that I can’t make up because my professor lost his heart thirty years ago along with his hair, then my boyfriend breaks up with me for like no reason, apparently I have an exam tomorrow, and now I’ve spilled water all over my bed, so I can’t even sleep. Thank you, universe. I really needed this.”

He immediately regrets his decision.

“Worst freaking week of my life,” you mumble as you throw away the wet tissues. Hyunjin almost reaches out for your arm when you pass by, but he retracts it just in time.

When you climb back into bed, you draw your blanket up to your chin and begin murmuring numbers. They come out calm and even at first, but they become more tense as time passes. Hyunjin half-listens as he scans the contents of your desk. A laptop, a shopping bag, an open notebook with doodles on the margins, an uncapped black pen, and a pack of gum. He presses his forefinger to the point of the pen, drawing a tiny heart by touch. Then he stamps the heart among all your misshapen stars and imaginary flowers. You might just think it’s an ink smear, but he hopes you look at it and smile.

You hit three hundred and forty-seven before you begin to sound drowsy. Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed, watching as you finally drift off in the middle of three hundred and ninety-three. Serenity settles across your features.

“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. Good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers. He pats the corner of your bed before flying off into the night.

He needs to see Jeongin.

It was hard not to notice you when you were on a collision course with Jeongin. You were going too fast, and Hyunjin’s wings couldn’t carry him to Earth in milliseconds. With horror, he watched as you sharply turned the building corner on your skateboard and just barely jumped off in time when you saw Jeongin about to make the same turn.

“You okay?” Jeongin asked as he hurried to stop your runaway board.

“I should be asking you that!” you exclaimed as you followed him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have veered that close to the wall. You’re not hurt or anything, right?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Good. I can’t risk getting sued again.” Unsure of how to respond, Jeongin nudged back your board to you. You neatly stopped it mid-roll with your foot. “Thanks, by the way. See you around.”

“Yeah, see you.”

You kicked off, but before you left the area, you turned around and gave him a wave. Jeongin waved back, albeit more shyly than you. After a moment’s hesitation, he yelled out, “Be careful!”

“I’ll try!”

Jeongin laughed and turned the corner, looking at the brick wall with more wistfulness than most people usually did. Before he entered the building, he peeked around the next corner, as if he expected you to come speeding by again. You didn’t.

After that, he noticed you more often, usually swerving around strangers as you cut through campus. Whenever he had the opportunity to say hello, he did so with a smile, and you returned it with a waggle of your fingers before disappearing into the crowd. Once, you nearly crashed into a railing. You laughed it off and gave him another wave along with a funny face. Hyunjin felt something inside him melt. Jeongin must have too since he headed to his next class with the most lovestruck expression Hyunjin had ever seen on him.

It was then that Jeongin began forming a plan.

Two weeks after the first meeting, Jeongin waited in the quad for you to show up. Just as he hoped, you came walking down the steps fifteen minutes later, skateboard tucked underneath your arm. It was supposed to seem like a coincidence, but Hyunjin had followed Jeongin as he scoured nearby skate spots, asking around about you. Yesterday, he had learned where you liked to practice tricks. He got up from his bench, hands hidden behind his back, and approached you with the same moves and confidence he had rehearsed in the bathroom mirror.

“Hey! How have you been?” he called up from the very bottom.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin groaned. Jisung, who Hyunjin had tracked down two days prior to this, also did so.

“You said he was a charmer,” Jisung complained. “Look at him. He can’t even charm dogs with a treat.”

“For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Just wait though. It’s going to get better.”

Jisung huffed. “It better. She deserves the best.”

Fortunately, you took it all in stride and waved hello at Jeongin. When you were finally beside him, you answered, “I’ve been good, thanks. You’re not here to sue me, right?”

“No! I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. If you have time, that is.”

“Really? But I almost killed you that one time. I mean, I’d be happy to, but it’s kind of weird after what happened.”

“I’d rather skateboard than walk, and you seem pretty good at it.”

You shifted your weight to one foot, and Hyunjin chuckled when he saw Jeongin’s eyes wander to your jutted-out hip. Jisung made a noise of disapproval.

“Okay, what is this really about?”

“Skateboarding,” Jeongin said. Then he took a step closer and held out a bundle of daisies towards you. “And lunch, if you want.”

You broke out into a grin. “I am a little hungry right now. L/N Y/N, skateboarding extraordinaire and ramen enthusiast, at your service.”

“Yang Jeongin, also a ramen enthusiast. Nice to officially meet you.”

Jeongin is still sleeping at his desk when Hyunjin arrives. He shifts and exhales when the wind from Hyunjin’s wings create a small breeze but does not wake.

“How could you break up with her?” Hyunjin says. “She’s amazing and wonderful, and you decide that you don't want to be with her? Sometimes I wonder what’s going on in your head.”

Silence.

“If I were human, I would have never done that, but…”

Jeongin shifts again, burying himself deeper into the crumpled hoodie he’s using as a pillow. The table squeaks, and a mechanical pencil rolls off the desk. Hyunjin quietly places the pencil back to its initial place and shuts off the lamp.

“Take care of yourself, and make good choices, okay? I can’t do that for you.”

Instead of flying back to Heaven, he perches on the roof of the building across from Jeongin’s. Jeongin finally wakes up and notices that his light is off. He glances at it confusedly for a few seconds, wondering if he misremembered leaving it on. In the end, he decides it’s not worth the effort and falls into his bed. He didn’t even spare you a thought, a crime in Hyunjin’s eyes.

Then he realizes he may have a bigger problem on his hands.

Jisung.

Jisung is going to be very upset when he finds out about this.

Over the weekend, you brought Jeongin to the quad to learn the basics.

“Put both feet on the board now,” you said as you walked alongside a skateboarding Jeongin. He was borrowing yours to practice, so he treated it with more reverence than a well-used board would need. Even though he was pushing with his back foot, he was going at a snail’s pace.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going to lose my balance and fall.”

Perhaps it wasn’t reverence after all.

You shook your head. “No, you won’t. You’re not going that fast anyway. You can just step off if you really feel like you are. Give it a shot.”

To his credit, Jeongin lifted his foot a few centimeters off the ground before planting it back. “I’m going to lose control.”

While you did your best to persuade Jeongin to give it another try, Jisung gave Hyunjin a dissatisfied look. “I remember you telling me he was a daredevil. What is happening?”

He didn’t exactly know either. “He’s in front of his crush; give him a break.”

“These two better not end up dating. She deserves so much better than him.”

Hyunjin gave him a dirty look, Jisung gave him a “What? It’s true” type of a shrug.

You step in front of the board. “How about this?” you said. “You stand on the board with both feet, and I’ll pull you along so you can get used to the feeling and be less of a scaredy cat.”

“Okay.”

You took both of his hands and slowly guided him backwards. At the same time, you instructed him to put more weight on one side to change directions. Jeongin was surprisingly stable, and Hyunjin watched proudly as his human suggested that you increase your speed a little.

“See? It’s not bad?” you said. “Keeping balance isn’t that hard, right?”

“Yeah. Also,” he grinned, his meek demeanor completely gone, “we’re holding hands now.”

Your eyes widened as you glanced down at your joined hands, and you let out a delighted gasp. “You sneaky little—” Much to Jeongin’s alarm, you let go and smirked. “If you go past the bench without constantly pushing, I’ll let you hold my hand when you walk me home.”

“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume that I would offer to walk you home,” he teased, resting one foot on the floor. “Or is that what you want me to do?”

“You asked me to lunch with flowers. You were going to.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Then he kicked off, skating past the bench with ease. Still going, he looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you want to grab doughnuts before you head home?”

“Watch the lamp!” you yelled as you ran towards him. “Jeongin, stop looking at me and turn around!”

The collision with the lamppost was unavoidable, so Hyunjin simply watched as Jeongin took a flying leap off your board and took a tumble on the concrete. While you fumbled for band aids — Jeongin’s knee was scraped and bloody — Jeongin patted his pockets to check that his phone had not fallen out.

“So doughnuts?” he sheepishly asked.

“Sure. I’ll buy.” You finally found one hidden in the bottom of your backpack along with an alcohol wipe. “Guess you get to hold my hand after all.”

“How are you so prepared?” he asked, nodding to the contents you had unceremoniously dumped out whilst rummaging. “You have tweezers and gauze?”

“My mom made me carry a first-aid kit with me when she found out that I skate to class. It comes in handy.” You ripped open the package. “This might hurt.”

“You can kiss it to feel better.”

You laughed and pressed the alcohol wipe to his knee. “You’re such a flirt, I love it. Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, hurts a lot.”

You opted to kiss the band aid instead, causing Jeongin to pout and Jisung to sigh in relief. When you stuck it onto his skin, Jeongin made a big production of being relieved from pain, which made you laugh and shove him.

“No! She’s in love with him,” Jisung groaned. His wings drooped, and Hyunjin swore his halo actually dimmed when you kept your hands in Jeongin’s after you pulled him up. “Well, Hyunjin, looks like you and I are going to be best friends.”

Hyunjin personally saw no issue with that. Like Jeongin, he had been charmed by your antics and your easygoing nature. Protecting his human’s friends, family, or lovers wasn’t part of Hyunjin’s duty, but he felt compelled to watch over you too.

Because if he were human, he would have fallen in love with you too.

In the midst of his lamenting, Jisung flies down and sits beside him on the roof. His wings are still slightly gray, and Hyunjin strangely begins to feel self-conscious of his pure white ones.

“Didn’t the Archangel forbid you from doing frivolous things?” Jisung says in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you at her apartment earlier.”

“I just wanted to check up on her. Not that I thought you lied,” he hastily adds. “I wanted to see for myself. She’s a little… distraught.”

“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. It’s normal.” When Hyunjin doesn’t reply or even make a sound, he grows concerned. “Is it something else? She’s getting sued, isn’t she? I knew it was going to happen someday. When I find that smug richie-rich, I’m going to—”

“Jeongin broke up with her.”

“What.”

Hyunjin repeats his sentence, trying to block the view of Jeongin’s bedroom with his body. Jisung looks like he’s ready to rain judgement onto him, and while Hyunjin is rather good at his job, he’s not sure if he can hold back an enraged guardian angel. Jisung takes several deep breaths before regaining the little composure he can muster.

“I knew I hated him for a reason. I knew he didn’t deserve her,” he spits out, though the venom in his voice wavers. “Why would he even break up with her? She loved him so much.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s what I want to find out.”

“When you find out, let me know. I’m going to see her now.”

Hyunjin stays on the roof until sunrise. Jeongin sleeps without any trouble, and when he wakes up, he looks fresh-faced, no guilt hanging over his head. Hyunjin feels something inside him cracking apart.

You truly don’t deserve this.

“Do you think they’re going to crash and burn?” Jisung asked as he studied you and Jeongin walking through the park, practically glued to each other’s sides. “I think they’re moving too fast. It’s only been a month.”

Hyunjin really didn’t care about that. As long as you and Jeongin were happy, he was happy. “A month is a pretty long time for them. Mortal lives are short.”

“Exactly. They should be more selective about their life choices.”

Hyunjin only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you. You were pointing at the tiny carousel in the middle and tugging at Jeongin’s sleeve. You dragged him over and pushed a coin into the slot for the ride. The lights lit up and a carnival theme played while you struggled to wedge yourself between the saddle of an elephant and the roof of the carousel. Jeongin sat on the edge, beside the tiger, and chuckled at your flailing limbs.

Hyunjin suppressed his own laugh. You were something special. Just last week, the two of you had made it official and started dating. You had done it in the sweetest possible way.

You had taken him to a local skateboarding shop to help him pick out his first board. Once he had chosen one — the ‘one’ being a light blue deck patterned with multicolored doughnuts — the staff at the shop sent him to the back to try it out. Meanwhile, you made the age-old excuse of needing to use the restroom when you were actually getting the flowers you had hidden in the back.

Hyunjin had turned into a pile of fluff when you gave Jeongin the daisy bouquet and asked if he wanted to officially be your boyfriend. You were so earnest. Jeongin playfully pretended to think it over, a feat Hyunjin knew he wouldn’t have been able to do if he were in his position. There were no fireworks or confetti when Jeongin finally said yes, but the staff did clap and cheer. Jisung looked on with contempt. Hyunjin looked on with envy.

“You know,” Jisung abruptly said, snapping Hyunjin back to the present, “when her last boyfriend broke up with her, she had ice cream for dinner for a week.”

“Oh.”

“You see why I’m being wary of him now?”

Hyunjin did, but Jeongin was different. His previous relationships always ended well, and on one occasion, he remained friends with his ex. He sighed and decided that a change of topic was necessary so he wouldn’t have to potentially endure a tirade. “Did you hear about Minho’s human? The bank he worked at got robbed, and he got held at gunpoint.”

That caught the overprotective Jisung’s ear. “What? Is he okay?”

During Hyunjin’s recountment of Minho’s recountment, the carousel ride ended. You squeezed out of your spot, hitting your head on the roof, and Jeongin pulled you in for a forehead kiss. The world grew brighter when you smiled, he realized.

Hyunjin shadows Jeongin around all day, hoping to learn the reason for the breakup. Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t say anything. He does show some regret though, as he scrolls through past messages and old pictures. When he heads to classes, he opts to walk instead of skateboarding like usual and avoids the quad whenever possible.

In the evening, while Jeongin is chewing on his salad like a cow to cud, Hyunjin pays you a visit. He finds in the freezer section of the grocery store with three pints of ice cream in your basket. From the looks of it, you’re about to add another three to your haul. Peanut butter pretzel sounds equal parts delicious and confusing.

Hyunjin studies your expression, frowning at the same time you do. Your eyes are ringed with red, your jaw tight, and your eyebrows seem permanently furrowed. When he follows you back home, he half expects you to start crying on the way, but you hold fast and manage to open a pint of the salted caramel flavor before the tears finally come. There’s no wailing, just sniffling and the sound of you furiously wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. In the midst of it all, you find the strength to reorganize the freezer to make space for the other pints. Something about that makes Hyunjin’s heart drop.

By the time your roommate discovers you in the kitchen, the entire refrigerator has been reorganized and the ice cream finished. You sit in a dark room, your finger hovering above the ‘SEND’ button of a message to Jeongin. Hyunjin can see it if he flies above you: “Can you please just tell me why? You keep saying you did something wrong, but I don’t even know what it is. Please let me decide if it’s worth breaking up over.”

“Rough day?” she gently asks as she flips on the switch.

“Yeah.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna process it right now,” you hollowly say. You grab your skateboard — the same black, paint-splattered one you had last year — and unlock the front door. “I’m going out for a ride, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Stay safe.”

After you leave, Jisung phases through the kitchen walls and hisses at Hyunjin, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Jeongin?”

He nearly forgot about him. Eating dinner isn’t a dangerous task anyway though. Besides, if Jeongin does get physically harmed somehow, Hyunjin will feel an echo of the pain. Hyunjin glances at the door, and Jisung shakes his head.

“I’ll take care of her. Go back to Jeongin, and make sure he’s okay. You can’t keep leaving him all the time.”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Good.”

Hyunjin reluctantly goes back to Jeongin, who is still eating his salad. His resolve from last night is clearly gone as evidenced by his melancholy expression as he scrolls through even more photos. The one of you in mid-air makes him clutch his phone.

“Let me get one of you when you’re really high up,” Jeongin suggested. He was comfortable gliding around on a skateboard now, but nowhere comfortable enough to try any tricks. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from trying to get him to learn. The “pop shove it” was your favorite, solely for the amount of height you could get.

“Okay.”

As you did over and over again for your enthusiastic boyfriend who was unfortunately not that great of a photographer, Hyunjin observed from a rooftop behind Jeongin. Sometimes you looked like you were flying. He could imagine wings protruding from your back, and if the sun hit you just right, there appeared to be a halo as well.

“I got one!” Jeongin exclaimed as he held up his device to you. “Look.”

Hyunjin couldn’t see for himself, but your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ once you took a first glance. A flustered smile made its way onto your face, and everything about you turned soft.

“This looks amazing,” you said. You sidled up to him and rested your cheek against his shoulder, turning your head towards him. “I love you.”

The words hung in the air for a few seconds as both Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to process them. This was the first time you had ever said them, and it came seemingly out of nowhere. Hyunjin recovered first.

“Say ‘I love you’ back, you moron,” Hyunjin whispered, like Jeongin would be able to hear him from this distance. “‘I love you too.’”

“I wanted to say it first,” Jeongin finally said. “Ugh, I had it all planned out too. We were supposed to get doughnuts after this, and I was going to buy you one of those heart-shaped ones.”

You kissed him on the cheek and intertwined your fingers with his. “We can still do that.”

At the doughnut shop, he said the words second, and you kissed him again, leaving a crystal of glaze on the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin licked his lips as if you had left it on him instead.

“Did you find out?” Jisung asks when Hyunjin leaves Jeongin to check up on you. You’re skating around the city, making sharp swerves and weaving in-between lampposts. Jisung is trailing behind you in the sky, but he slows when he sees Hyunjin approaching.

“No, but—”

“Then go back to him. Hyunjin,” Jisung sighs, “I know you care about her, but she’s not your human. Jeongin’s your responsibility.”

“I know but—”

“Go back. And I’m telling you this not as your friend but as your senior. You’re a guardian angel, and you need to take your responsibilities seriously. I’ll get the Archangel involved if I have to. Do you want to get Seungminned?”

The threat of the Archangel strangely doesn’t scare him anymore, however. In fact, the Archangel being involved may solve many of his current issues.

“I’ll find you again when I find out,” Hyunjin slowly says.

Jisung nods in approval before racing after you again. Hyunjin heads to Heaven, not to keep an eye over his human but to become human.

Ten months into Jeongin’s relationship with you, Hyunjin asked Minho, “Is it possible to give up your divinity?”

Minho gave Hyunjin a curious look. “Is being a guardian angel that taxing for you? You haven’t even experienced a full lifespan yet. I know, twenty year-olds are annoying, but it’s not nearly as bad as forty year-olds and their mid-life crisis.”

“I’m just curious. Or, as a last resort,” he added, hoping that Minho would stop being suspicious if he joked about it. “My human’s been making some dumb choices.”

A lie, but Minho fell for it.

“I told you he was going to be a troublemaker!” he cackled. He sympathetically patted Hyunjin’s back. “If I’m being honest, I thought about it a few times. I always get assigned to the troublemakers. Probably because the higher-ups hate me for not tolerating their BS. They’re always playing favorites. Anyway, the easiest way is to get expelled by the Archangel. It’s happened a few times before.”

“Can’t you just ask him?”

Minho smirked. “You don’t think other angels have tried that? He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”

“What’s the hard way then?”

“Same thing minus the Archangel getting involved: your wings getting cut off,” he matter-of-factly answered. “The halo will break once your wings are detached. It’s only been done once, by the way.”

Hyunjin absentmindedly rubbed the area where the bones of his wings met with his shoulder blades. All he needed were two clean cuts across his practically impenetrable back.

“How do you do that?”

“With the Archangel’s sword. Another angel has to cut it though; you can’t do it yourself.”

The Archangel would likely banish him to Hell for even asking about his weapon. If Hyunjin ever did manage to steal the sword away, Jisung would never agree to it. He couldn’t just ask any angel to help him.

“How do you know about all this?” Hyunjin asked.

Minho hesitated, something he rarely did. He quickly recovered, hiding his sudden apprehension with his usual devil-may-care nonchalance. “I can’t give away all of my secrets.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Friends. The word hung in the air like the sun, and Hyunjin knew that Minho would tell him because underneath all of his bluster was loneliness. Because no one liked Minho, or if they did, they still avoided him anyway.

“Yeah, we are,” Minho answered, smiling for a second before a strange expression crossed over his face, pride mixed with a touch of sadness. “Do you really think the Archangel would have expelled one of his favorite guardian angels that easily?”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Seungmin. He asked me to cut his wings for him.”

“I need you to cut my wings,” are Hyunjin’s first words to Minho after not speaking to him for days.

To his credit, Minho is only speechless for a few seconds. The dove in his hand pecks at him for more headpats before he recovers. “Well, do you have the sword?”

“No, but I think I can get it. When I do though, would you do it? You’re the only one I trust.”

Minho sighs and tosses the bird out of Heaven, grimacing a bit when he hears it squawk. When he faces Hyunjin, he smiles the same smile he did when he talked about Seungmin. “It’s always me, huh? I’ll do you one better. I’ll steal the sword for you. The Archangel’s been pissing me off anyway.”

For once, Hyunjin’s thoughts are not on you but his friend. He imagined that Minho would be willing, but perhaps he’s too willing. “Are you trying to get expelled as well? We can go together.”

“No, I like being immortal. I hate all of the BS I get put through sometimes, but the Archangel can’t kick me out. He swore an oath to me a long time ago before he got promoted, and it’s pretty much unbreakable. Besides, even Heaven needs a scapegoat.”

That explains why virtually no angels interact with Minho, Hyunjin being the exception. He has never heard of the Archangel being oathsworn, though it seems likely that the Archangel wants to keep that a secret.

“How are you going to get it?” Hyunjin asks. “How did Seungmin even get it? The Archangel always has it with him.”

“Seungmin was one of his favorites,” Minho reminds him. “He had easy access to him, and the Archangel trusted him enough to let him borrow it for ‘a study.’ Don’t worry about me though. Just wait for me on Earth. Somewhere where no one goes. I’ll find you, slice off your wings, and the Archangel won’t even know what happened to you.”

“That’s not possible. He always keeps it on him.”

Minho shrugs, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve done it before. Why do you think I’m the scapegoat?”

Seungmin. For Minho and now Hyunjin, being Seungminned didn’t mean being expelled for being frivolous anymore; it meant leaving of your own accord.

“What happened to him?” Hyunjin asked. “Why didn’t the Archangel grant his divinity back? Someone should have spotted him on Earth.”

Minho’s wry grin was back. “You think the Archangel wanted everyone to find out the golden boy of Heaven no longer wanted to be an angel? Plenty of angels already saw him roaming Earth. It was easier to let everyone think that Seungmin was banished. So when they saw him on Earth, he was just a fallen angel, nothing important.” He nudged Hyunjin’s arm, and the solemn atmosphere vanished. “A troublemaking human isn’t all that bad. Like I said, the twenties are annoying, but they’re manageable. Is he one of those partying types?”

“He goes out sometimes,” Hyunjin carefully replied. Jeongin liked hanging out with his friends and you — mostly you, now that Hyunjin thought about it — but he wasn’t getting blackout drunk every night. At least, Hyunjin hoped he wasn’t. He usually watched over you if you were ever in the vicinity. “Speaking of which, I should check up on him.”

Minho said his goodbyes, and Hyunjin flew back to Earth once he saw that you weren’t with Jeongin. You were studying at your desk, rolling a pen between your fingers, reading through a document on your laptop. The desk light casted a warm glow on your face. You frowned, and your lower lip swelled outwards.

He wished he were human.

Just as Minho said, Hyunjin waits for him to arrive in a secluded part of the university campus. The building rooftop is devoid of anyone, and the area surrounding it is empty as well. The evening turns into night, then night into the early morning when the sky begins lightening. Still, Minho has not come.

He distantly wonders how Jeongin is faring and his promise to Jisung. When he’s human, he’ll ask Jeongin directly, maybe in disguise of a survey: “Why did you break up with your last partner?” Even to him, it sounds stupid. However, that’s not the real reason why he’s giving up his divinity, so it hardly matters to him. Jisung is resourceful; he’ll find out eventually.

Finally, when the sun peeks over the horizon, Minho descends from Heaven, a familiar silver sword in his hand. He lands beside Hyunjin, a triumphant smile on his face. But his usual humor has been replaced with solemnity.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he rests the blade on the top of Hyunjin’s wings.

He has never felt so sure of anything in his life. “Yes.”

“It’s going to hurt.”

“Then make it quick.”

Searing pain shoots through his body as the sword pierces through the thin skin and into the bone. The process is not as nearly as seamless as Hyunjin hoped it would be, and Minho breathes heavily as he pushes the blade down. Bones snap, feathers drift to the floor, and blood trickles down his back. The pain only grows greater near the end, but Hyunjin grits his teeth and keeps quiet. Dawn breaks when his wings finally fall to the floor, no longer white but splattered with red. Soon they fade into dust, and the remnants scatter into the wind. His golden halo shatters into sunlight. The world dulls as the last of his powers disappear, but everything feels much better than when he was an angel.

“Thank you,” he whispers to Minho, who he cannot even look at anymore. His eyes would be burned.

“You’re fallen, not quite mortal and not quite divine. You won’t be affected by all of an angel’s power.”

When Hyunjin cautiously glances at him, Minho waves the bloody sword at him. “See?”

“Yeah.” He wanted humanity, but this is good enough for him. He just needs you to be able to see him, hear him, touch him.

“I need to go back before Heaven becomes Hell, but find Seungmin if you can. He can help you figure things out. Last I heard, he’s living somewhere in the mountains.”

“Thank you,” he repeats. “Minho, I can’t even put it into words about how much this means to me. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

Minho pats his shoulder before stripping off his clean shirt. “Clean yourself before you leave. No one wants to witness a walking crime scene this early in the morning.”

When he flies back to Heaven, the last thing Hyunjin sees are his wings, still pure white.

“Hey,” you said as you laced your fingers with Jeongin’s. He had just finished class, and you had waited for him outside the building. Hyunjin had sat on the other end of the bench, savoring the proximity. That was the closest he would ever get to you. “Are you busy tonight? The skate shop just announced — literally an hour ago, those jerks — that they were doing a midnight drop, and I kind of want a new deck.”

“Ugh, I’ve been meaning to buy new trucks, but I have to meet up with my group tonight. Send me pictures though.”

Disappointment only momentarily flooded through Hyunjin. If it was anything like the last two meetups, it would be at the library, and the library was a safe place. Jeongin would be fine there. Hyunjin would be free to shadow you as you went to the skate shop.

“I can get it for you,” you offered.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just wait for a sale.”

“Don’t be surprised if I do get you new trucks,” you warned. You let go of his hand and held his arm. “I still owe you for last month’s dinner.”

Jeongin shook his head again, a smile making its way onto his face. “You don’t owe me anything but a kiss.”

“Flirt,” you laughed as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “Never change, Yang Jeongin.”

That night at the skate shop, Hyunjin hovered above you as you stood in line, chatting with others. There were no unscrupulous characters around, but he stayed with you, only going back to Jeongin when Jisung insisted. However, by then, Hyunjin had already seen you eyeing the shiny teal trucks through the window. Hyunjin knew nothing about skateboards even after all those months, but you seemed pleased by them.

“You’re only getting trucks for sure?” your brand new acquaintance asked. “This is, like, the biggest drop they’ve ever done.”

You shrugged. “I’m kind of on the fence about the decks I saw on the email. I don’t know. Maybe wheels too?”

Meanwhile, Jisung hissed, “Hyunjin, go before something happens. What if a fight breaks out?”

Hyunjin sincerely doubted that one would happen at the library. He lingered around, taking his time unfolding his wings and stretching them.

“Your boyfriend’s lucky,” your acquaintance sighed.

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

Daisies, that’s what he needs right now. Choosing the rooftop of a building was not a smart decision, but the access door is thankfully unlocked, and Hyunjin races down all of the emergency stairs. However, with no form of currency on him, Hyunjin heads to the quad, hoping that he can pull up some dandelions for you. You need to be supported, and bright yellow flowers are just the thing.

What he doesn’t expect though, is to find you doing pop shove its at your usual spot. It’s so early in the day; did you even go back to your apartment to sleep?

“Good morning,” he calls as he walks closer. He waves at you, and you can see him! You tentatively wave back and give him a halfhearted smile. “How are you today? You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, and I’m fine,” you politely reply as you take a step back away from him. “What about you?”

Hyunjin curses in his head and takes another step towards you. “I’m good. Really good, actually. I was wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. I’m new here, and skateboarding seems like an efficient way to get around.”

You flinch at his words, and he desperately wants to take them back. How did Jeongin do it? Why do his statements come out so stiff? “You seem pretty good at it.”

“Are you not cold?” you blurt out. Hyunjin curses again as he realizes that he’s shirtless. His old one was stained, and Minho’s was as well as the result of his cleanup. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “You know, I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you.”

“Hyunjin. My name’s Hyunjin.”

“Nice meeting you, Hyunjin.”

You grab your board and immediately head off to the direction of your apartment. Hyunjin is tempted to follow, but he stays where he is. A bad first impression isn’t the end of the world. The only thing holding him back is his lack of a shirt.

He wanders through the quad, scanning the grass for some flowers. Most of them are the white, fluffy dandelions, but he needs the bright yellow version. However, he takes the white ones anyway in case he can’t find any. The wind scatters the seeds, and he—

“Hyunjin, I told you not to come back.”

Jisung.

Hyunjin turns around, dropping his bouquet onto the ground. To his horror, not only is Jisung present but also the Archangel. His sword is strapped to his side like usual, not a blood splatter tainting it. Minho did an excellent job of cleaning up the crime scene.

“Jisung, Archangel,” Hyunjin nervously greets. The Archangel frightens him now. “How can I help you?”

“Jisung, why did you bring me here?” the Archangel asks. “I have other things to attend to.”

“He’s abandoned his human too many times, and I don’t think he’s fit to be a guardian angel anymore.”

The Archangel grasps the hilt of his sword and studies Hyunjin, up and down, back and forth. He circles him, and Hyunjin can almost feel his mortality-divinity shining through his body. Jisung hasn’t noticed yet, but there is no doubt the Archangel hasn’t.

“Normally,” the Archangel begins, “the punishment for not fulfilling your duties as a guardian angel is being expelled from Heaven. But you have already fallen.”

“What?” comes Jisung’s shocked voice.

“It was a mistake,” Hyunjin tries. Minho’s words ring in his ear: He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. “I thought I wanted humanity, but I’ve realized that being a guardian angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please. Grant me my divinity back. I will never abandon my human again. I will swear an oath if I have to.”

The Archangel smiles with no teeth, and a chill runs down Hyunjin’s spine. “I’m in a forgiving mood today, so I will do just as you ask. Your divinity will be granted back, but you will no longer be a guardian angel. I’m stripping you of those powers and those duties. You will be replaced immediately. It was my mistake for tasking you with such a large responsibility when you weren’t ready yet.”

With just a snap of the Archangel’s fingers, Hyunjin’s senses sharpen, and the world comes hurtling at him. Nothing is dull anymore, but everything feels so dark and wrong. You will never be able to see him, hear him, or talk to him again. And he will never be able to either. Power surges inside of him, and new wings burst through his shoulder blades, fanning out once they reappear. A silver halo hangs over his head. There is no physical pain into becoming immortal again, yet he wishes there was something. Everything he and Minho did was erased with ease.

Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he chokes out.

“You’re very welcome. Come along now. Only guardian angels are allowed to be on Earth.”

Hyunjin follows the Archangel back to Heaven while Jisung goes after you. The Archangel loudly deliberates on who he should be replaced with, and Hyunjin knows that his request was not granted with kindness. The Archangel informs that he will be a messenger again. Hyunjin barely hears him as he takes one last look at Earth. Jeongin is there. Jisung is there. You are there.

Hyunjin avoids Minho’s eyes as he flies inside the realm behind the Archangel and hides among the rest of the regular angels until he is called to send a message. The higher-ups recognize him, make snide remarks about his demotion, and make pitiful faces at him. He barely registers them. There is a hollowness in him, and no matter how many memories he recalls, it isn’t enough to fill the void.

A few weeks later, Jisung approaches him, but even he stays a healthy distance away. “Hyunjin.” The disdain is clear.

“Jisung.”

“You knew about the reason all along, didn’t you? You were there when it happened.”

“When what happened?”

Realization dawns upon Jisung, and he shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known. You weren’t with him that night because you left him like you always did! You could have done something. Make him fall off his chair or something. Make the girl lose her balance. Instead, both of our humans suffered because you weren’t there.”

“What happened?”

“A girl from his group project randomly kissed him, and he thought he had been leading her on and cheating on his own girlfriend, so he broke up with her because he thought that would be the right thing to do instead of just telling her what actually happened. They’re back together now because he finally got the nerve to give her closure. It took nearly a month. They were miserable for a month. All because of you.”

It stings. “They’re okay now, right?”

“They’re fine, no thanks to you.” Just when Hyunjin thinks he’s going to leave, he takes a step forward, lips curled into sneer. “You know, angels and humans aren’t allowed to be with each other. It’s been forbidden for millenia.”

“I know,” he whispers. “But I loved her, and I had to try.”

“She would have never chosen you anyway.”

He never had a chance, did he?

~ ad.gray

Yes, you did! I remembered it and wondered if you were going to come back! Hope you enjoyed this! <3

#stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids angst #skz angst #hyunjin angst #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz scenarios #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin x reader #guardian angel au #anniversary special #20210816

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dreamerstreamer · 3 years

Text

Burnout

Pairing: Dream / Clay x gn!reader

Summary: Working nonstop leaves Clay officially exhausted. Too bad he doesn’t know when to call it quits. Luckily for him, you do.

Warnings: depictions of anxiety + exhaustion + burnout

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: this was inspired by some of my own personal experiences. please get some rest if you need it. i hope you enjoy!

Clay awoke to the sound of meowing in his ear and a paw prodding at his cheek.

Letting out a small groan, he shifted, vaguely aware that his cheek was pressed against something cold. He reached up in front of his face, his fingertips meeting soft fur. He blinked an eye open, his hand rubbing at his bleary vision. Little by little, the fogginess slowly parted to reveal Patches’ olive green eyes peering back at him. The moment his gaze met hers, she meowed, swiping at his face again.

“Stop,” he croaked, surprising himself by how dry his mouth was. Almost immediately, Patches took a step back, meowing once more at him before hopping off the table and vanishing from his line of sight.

He raised a hand to his throat, swallowing uncomfortably. Slowly, he lifted his head from the desk, taking in the sight of his desk set-up. While his monitor was dark, it was his laptop that was lighting up the cluttered mess that had become his studio. Off to his right sat his green water bottle.

Right. His water bottle had been empty for—

His eyes darted to the clock, squinting. The numbers 1:47 AM flashed back at him.

—six hours.

When did I knock out? he wondered to himself, rubbing at his temples. Two hours ago? He shook his head. Well, doesn’t matter, now. Gotta finish the new plug-in.

He reached over, nudging his mouse with his elbow. The moment his cursor moved, his monitor came to life, light flooding the dimness of his room. He squinted, shielding his eyes from the glaring brightness of the screen with the back of his hand.

His code was still open, the line having cut off in the middle, the open bracket hanging wide, waiting to be completed and closed.

He grimaced, the gears already whirring in his head as he stared at the ticking clock on his screen. He needed to have the plug-in coded by tomorrow—or, well, today—so he could send it off to George for their scheduled test run. Not to mention the video he was only halfway finished editing he wanted to upload in two days’ time.

He dragged a hand over his face, a low groan rumbling in his chest. Just then, there was another low growl, this time coming from his stomach. He glanced downward at his hoodie pocket, something sharp digging at his insides.

Well, first, it seemed like he would need some food.

He pushed back his chair and pushed himself onto his feet, wincing at the way his muscles ached. They were definitely sore from not having been used in god knows how long, now. With another sigh, he turned, pushing the door open to his studio before climbing the stairs.

It only took a few moments for him to find the kitchen. He fumbled with the light switch for a second before the room was suddenly flooded with light. He winced, slapping a hand over his eyes. “Oh god,” he muttered, his throat feeling raw, “it’s so bright.”

A few seconds later, he peeked through his fingers and lowered his hand, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the brightness. As soon as he could see clearly once more, he dragged himself over to the cabinet, pulling the door open to peer inside. Empty space stared back at him, and he frowned. We forgot to go grocery shopping.

A snack-size bag of chips and two cups of instant ramen stared back at him, almost tauntingly. After staring for another moment, he found himself pulling out one of the two cups, eyeing it dubiously before shrugging. It’ll do. Flipping open the kettle, he quickly filled it with some water before setting it to boil. As he waited, he grabbed a pair of chopsticks and tore open the cup cover, fishing out the flavour packet and tearing it open with his teeth. Just as he was pouring the flavour powder in, he heard a voice behind him.

“Clay?”

He froze, then felt something in his chest soften. He turned, mustering what energy he had to send you a smile. “Hi, [Y/N].” At the sight of your bleary eyes, his smile drooped. “You’re still awake?”

You yawned, holding a hand over your mouth. “Mhm. Hungry. I’m just grabbing a snack, that’s all.”

Behind him, the kettle whistled. He quickly removed the top, then turned back to send you a knowing look. “Me too.”

You strolled over to the cabinet he had looked through earlier, frowning as you let out a sigh. “I’ll go grocery shopping this weekend,” you murmured, reaching for the chips. “Anything you want?”

He cast a glance at the chips in your hand. “More chips?” he offered softly. “I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it.”

You bobbed your head and pulled the bag open, immediately sticking a chip in your mouth. Clay let the sound of chips crunching fill the air as he poured the boiling water into his noodle cup, stirring absentmindedly as you quickly finished the bag. After a few moments, he eagerly raised his chopsticks to his lips, a whirlwind of flavour filling his mouth. The noodles didn’t particularly help with the dryness of his mouth or his tiredness, but at least he wasn’t hungry anymore.

The two of you ate in silence for a while. At one point, you finished the chips and threw out the bag, but he wasn’t quite paying attention. He felt his toes curl beneath him as he shifted in an effort to keep himself awake, but he could still feel the exhaustion pulling at his ankles. He wished he was asleep, he really did.

Just then, you spoke up. “Are you okay?”

He blinked, snapping out of his tired daze. “Yeah,” he mumbled in between chews. “I’m just a bit tired.”

You pursed your lips, leaning back against the counter as you eyed him up and down. “You look more than just ‘a bit tired’, Clay.”

He swallowed, averting his gaze from yours as he focused on shoveling more noodles in his mouth. His eyelids burned, weighed down by bricks made of exhaustion. “You think so?”

You didn’t answer, only staring at him for a few moments longer as he finished the cup of ramen. He didn’t even have the strength to think about the tension pervading the air. As soon as he was finished, he set the cup down, ignoring how heavy his arm felt. He felt your eyes on his as he rinsed out the empty container before tossing it in the recycling bin. He turned, your gaze locking onto his. Irritation prickled up his spine at your expression.

“What?” he said, his tone coming out harsher than he intended. A flicker of guilt ran through him, but it quickly dissolved into weariness once more. Whatever. He was tired. It didn’t matter. Right?

To his surprise, you didn’t flinch like he thought you would. Instead, you took a small step toward him, your hand reaching up and forward tentatively. Your fingers brushed against his cheekbone, and the moment your palm met his skin, he nearly melted into your touch. How long had it been since his shoulders felt so loose? He couldn’t recall.

“Clay,” you murmured, your thumb brushing over his cheek, “will you come to bed with me?”

His breath hitched. Sleeping? Now? He couldn’t afford it—even a single lick of sleep would throw him off entirely. He needed to finish his code and finish editing that video for the day after. He couldn’t just sleep, now.

He sent you a smile, hoping it didn’t look as sad as it felt. “Sorry, love, but I have a bit more work I have left to do.”

You blinked, your lips curling downward. Your frown bit into him harder than he would have liked. Slowly, you pulled your hand back from his cheek, something disappointing flashing in your gaze. “Okay,” you said quietly, turning to walk out of the kitchen. “Please go to sleep soon, though, alright?”

He nodded, but the action didn’t fully register in his head as he watched you disappear from his line of sight. Already, he missed your warmth against his face, and he had half the mind to change his mind and go to bed with you right then and there.

But the deadline hanging over his head wrapped a fraction tighter around his throat, whispering into his ear like a menace. “You don’t have time.”

Indeed, he didn’t.

Shutting the kitchen lights off, he slipped back down the stairs once more, striding back into his studio. He collapsed into his chair with a grunt, shaking his mouse as his monitor came back to life. He cracked his knuckles once before settling his hands back on the keyboard, focusing his attention back on the open bracket once more.

He wasn’t sure how much time he spent typing, opening and closing Google as he ran into bug after bug. The longer he stared at the screen, the more his brain felt like it was slowly getting the life sucked out of it. He had only completed another dozen lines of code or two when something tore him out of his focus.

“Clay.”

His thoughts came to a jarring halt in his head. He turned, spotting you leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed over your chest. A concerned expression was plastered to your face, and he nearly fell out of his chair. “[Y/N]? Why are you still up?” His eyebrows knit together. “I thought you went to bed.”

“I sent George a text,” you said abruptly, your eyes scanning his face with a wary look, “and he said he doesn’t mind doing the test run another day.”

Clay’s mouth fell open, a wave of shock rolling over him. You... what? Swallowing, he closed it, shaking his head slightly. Just because he didn’t need to finish the code didn’t mean he still didn’t have any work to do. “I still have to finish the video—”

“You can finish that another day, too,” you suddenly said, your eyes not leaving his. He saw your fingers curl into your pyjamas. “You know your fans will love it no matter when it comes out.”

Something welled up inside of him, something hard and cold that dug straight through his bones. “B-But...”

You simply tilted your head at him, a weary look crossing your face. “But what, Clay? Is there anything else?”

He paused for a moment, a pebble of shame dropping into his stomach as he shook his head. “No,” he admitted quietly. His heart burned uncomfortably between his lungs. “But I could always get a head start on—“

“Clay,” you said sharply, not missing the way he jumped, “don’t you see what you’re doing to yourself?” You lowered your arms and your voice grew quiet, something pained flitting across your features. “This is killing you.”

He stared at you, the light of his monitor making your face glow in the dimness of his studio. As much as he tried, he couldn’t think of another rational justification for staying up. He had no other immediate tasks, no other projects he needed to work on in this moment. He had no reason to stay awake any longer.

And yet, deep down, something anxious and angry thrashed in his gut. Sleeping now just felt wrong. It was almost as though it was a crime, as though he would somehow fail if he didn’t keep working. After all, if he didn’t keep working, then what kind of creator was he?

But the longer he stared at you, taking in the sight of your pleading eyes and worried frown, he felt something else overtake him entirely. A different kind of sinking feeling settled over his shoulders, and he swallowed.

“[Y/N],” he said honestly, suddenly feeling vulnerable and very, very sad, “I’m tired.”

Your gaze softened, and he almost wanted to cry. “I know,” you said, soft and sincere.

With quiet steps, you made your way over to him, stopping just in front of him. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against your stomach as he let out a shaky breath. You didn’t move, simply raising a hand to pat his head. For a few moments, he simply leaned against you, feeling his eyes sting and burn with a mixture of fatigue and sadness. Was he really that tired?

“You put too much responsibility on your own shoulders, Clay,” you murmured, your hand leaving his head. “You’re allowed to be your own person. You’re allowed to spend time to yourself. You’re allowed to take care of yourself—you need to.”

You pulled back slightly, and he raised his head. His lungs felt like they had tied themselves into a knot in his chest, but the moment his eyes met yours, he could suddenly breathe clearly again.

“Please,” you said, “come to bed with me.”

He blinked. Then, he nodded. “Okay.”

He didn’t miss the smile that stretched across your face as you reached over to save his code, turning off his monitor. As soon as the studio filled with darkness, you slipped your hand into his, tugging him out of his chair and up the stairs. He didn’t remember walking into the bathroom, but you were suddenly shoving his toothbrush in his hand.

“I’ll wait for you in our room,” you said, “okay?”

He nodded again, still too dazed to fully comprehend anything. He only half remembered brushing his teeth, spitting out the toothpaste as he rinsed out his mouth in the sink. Before he knew it, he was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, his eyelids already drooping. You were sitting on the bed, your legs curled beneath you and the blankets pulled back for him.

The moment he stepped inside, you lifted your chin, tilting your head at him. “You done?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but cut himself off with a yawn. Wiping at his blurring vision, he nodded. “Mhm.”

The pleased grin you sent him made his heart swell with affection. “Perfect.” You patted the space in front of you. “C’mere.”

Without an ounce of hesitation, he walked forward and climbed onto the bed, settling his head back against the pillow as you pulled the sheets up over him. After a few seconds of shifting, he finally settled down, his shoulders sagging as he let the tightness seep out of his body and into the bed.

“Comfy?” you asked softly, your voice washing over him like a soothing melody.

He shifted his head slightly, his legs curling further into the warm blankets. “Very.”

He could only imagine the soft smile on your face, a fond look filling your eyes. “When’s the last time you slept before four o’clock?”

He thought for a moment. If he had the energy, he would have shrugged. “Can’t remember. Must have been a month ago, or something.”

He could hear the frown in your voice. “That’s not healthy, Clay.”

He exhaled sharply through his nose, feeling his lips curl slightly. “Probably.”

There was a slight pause, then he felt your hand in his hair. In an instant, he had melted into putty on the mattress, tilting his head slightly toward you. “You can only run on sheer passion for so long,” you murmured, dragging your fingers through his hair. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed. “People need rest. And good food. And warm hugs. And love.”

He blinked, slow and lazy. “Love?” he repeated.

You hummed. “Yeah.” Dipping your head, you pressed a kiss beside his ear, whispering, “Lots and lots of love.”

He nodded ever so subtly, his head sinking further and further into his pillow. “Love,” he whispered back, caught in a dreamlike haze.

Your fingers scratched against his scalp, and he let out a tiny sigh. “You still with me?”

“Mm,” he mumbled, “not really.”

Your hand stilled for a moment, then carried on. “Good. Go to sleep, Clay.” He could hear the soft smile in your voice. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He said something back, or at least he thought he did, but he had drifted too far to care at that point.

This was nice. He missed this.

That night, Clay fell asleep with your hands in his hair and a smile on his face—feeling warm, safe, and oh-so loved.

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