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#i wrote this at like 2 am bc i have just been afflicted with Yearn lately and i had to write something
kiss-inthekitchen · 4 days ago
anytime | bucky barnes
summary: bucky's having trouble sleeping and he just wants you around
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
warnings: none! this is completely self indulgent fluff
word count: 1k
a/n: i got the idea for this while watching law and order: organized crime bc detective stabler can't sleep due to his ptsd and i was just like, you KNOW he wants to call olivia for comfort. and yeah anyway. this fic would not exist if not for law and order and idk how i feel about that tbh
Bucky can’t sleep.
Which is nothing new for him. His bed is too big, he can’t turn his thoughts off, he’s exhausted but he’s not tired. He’d moved to the floor, which at least made him feel more solid in his surroundings- the hardwood is unforgiving, but it’s a discomfort he’s become familiar with.
He sits up for the umpteenth time, turning to look at the clock on his bedside table as if he could make time go faster by force of will alone. It’s been ten minutes since the last time he checked and it feels like an hour. 1:07 AM.
His bed is too big, he can’t turn his thoughts off, and he’s going to break if he doesn’t get some respite from the images flashing through his mind.
Sighing, he decides he’s finally reached the point of giving in. There’s only one thing he knows will help, and he’s done trying to talk himself out of it.
You’re watching TV in your room- well, not so much watching as you are using it for background noise while you scroll through your phone- when the screen is taken over by an incoming call. You smile to yourself. Bucky was stubborn, always preferring to call rather than text, even though he was perfectly capable.
“Hey, Buck,” you said softly into the phone, barely above a whisper, respecting the late night hour even though you were alone in your room a few floors down from him.
“Hey,” he breathes, and you can sense his relief through the line.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, doll, everything’s…” he trails off, because it’s fine, but also it’s not, and he doesn’t know how to tell you that. He decides it’s best to just bite the bullet, he can’t take anymore overanalyzing. “I can’t sleep. Can you come up? Can you… stay?”
You’re silent on the line. Bucky’s never asked you anything like that before. The two of you are close, of course, but not like this. Not until now, anyway. You’re wondering if you heard him right or if you actually fell asleep and you’re having another hyper realistic dream when he speaks again.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to, I’m okay, I just-”
His voice snaps you out of it. “I’m on my way.”
An embarrassingly short amount of time later, you’re outside his door in your sleep shorts and a loose t-shirt, having shoved your feet into your slippers and all but ran out the door.
Before you can knock, he’s opening the door, standing in front of you in a similar outfit to yours.
“Hey, doll,” he says, softly, and you can read all his emotions in his eyes, tentatively stepping inside before wrapping your arms around him. He exhales in a slight chuckle, hugging you back and relaxing into your touch.
“Hey,” you speak into his chest as he reaches one arm out to push the door closed behind you.
You disentangle yourself, moving to his bed and settling yourself in the middle of it. He follows, leaning his back against the headboard, his outstretched legs grazing your folded ones, and you find it so easy to lean into his touch. Resting your head on his shoulder, he wraps his left arm around you, pulling you in closer, and you take note of the quiet room. No music, no TV on in the background, just him alone with his thoughts.
“What do you need, Buck?’’ you ask, tilting your head up to look at him.
His eyes meet yours. “Just needed you here,” he half smiles. “What were you doing before I called?”
You try to ignore the way your stomach flips at the way he said he needed you. “Nothing, really. I was just bored on my phone. I’m usually up later than everyone else, anyway. Just don’t really get tired til late,” you finish, yawning immediately after because your body loves to contradict you. You’d roll your eyes at yourself if he wasn’t looking at you.
“Well, I guess it is officially late then,” Bucky chuckles. “You wanna lie down?” he asks rhetorically, getting up to turn off the light. You immediately miss his presence beside you.
“So, how’re we doing this, Barnes? You wanna be big or little spoon?” your tone is sort of joking even though it’s an honest question, trying to bring some of your usual energy to the unfamiliar situation.
He rewards you with a genuine laugh, turning back to you and allowing you to revel in the way his smile lights up his face.
“You gonna jetpack me, doll?”
“If you want me to,” you say through a smile of your own.
“Next time, then,” he says, flipping the switch, the room lit only by moonlight now. “Wanna hold you now, if that’s okay.”
Your heart stutters at the admission, voice a little shaky when you respond. “‘Course it is.”
The bed dips with his weight, vibranium arm sneaking underneath the pillow before you rest your head on it, his right arm pulling you in flush with his body. It’s been a while since either of you have had someone to sleep next to, and you could swear you’ve never been more comfortable. You fully relax into him, every inch of your body touching some part of his.
Your shirt rucked up slightly in the process, and his hand rests directly on your skin, thumb moving in soothing strokes against your stomach.
“Is this okay?” he whispers, fanning over your neck.
You hum your agreement, afraid to say out loud that it’s more than okay, it’s perfect, knowing your voice would betray you if you tried.
It’s quiet after that, with Bucky focusing on the sound of your breathing and the feel of your soft skin on his, and, blissfully, nothing else.
Your consciousness is just starting to slip when he speaks again.
“Thanks for picking up the phone, doll.”
“Anytime, Buck,” you answer sleepily. “Everytime.”
The next night, he stays over in your room. From then on, you and Bucky don’t spend a single night apart if you can help it.
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