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#i would say signing off but tbh im not tired so when i get home ill provs make some mbs
lolotheparagon · 8 months
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Every MLP G3 Special In a Nutshell
A Charming Birthday: A bunch of ponies construct a 50 ft tall friendship bracelet for the village hermit's birthday cos she've never been surprised before. I think that would surprise anyone tbh.
Dancing in the Clouds: Two ponies ride a rollercoaster, immediately get inspired to do a dance routine and then GOD APPEARS to summon butterflies to make the ponies fly. Cos why dance in a routine when you can cheat?
Friends are Never Far Away: This is the first time I've seen in a kids cartoon where the main characters meet indigenous people with the offering of friendship and not colonisation and seizing their land. Funny how MLP G4 completely spat on that idea.
The Princess Promenade: A pony becomes princess because she was given a flower by a stinky old lizard...oh and she also has to organise a flower parade as well because a pixie couldnt do it....Nah, being a princess is boring, let's make everyone princesses!
A Very Minty Christmas: Minty's OCD caused her to break a magic candy cane and thinks she's ruined Christmas for everyone so she goes on a perilous journey to fix things when all her friends want is her to be home. Awww.
The Runaway Rainbow: A unicorn filly who's a part of The Rainbow Justice League is teleported to Ponyville, spends a day rolling around in mud and eating cake and then says im tired i wanna go home. Oh and this filly is apparently a vital element of nature because without her making rainbows, THE COLOURS OF THE WORLD ARE FADING THIS IS A SIGN OF THE END TIMES
The Ladybug Jamboree: Pinkie has a brain blast that makes all her band members play successfully for the first time...moments before they go on stage
Greetings from Unicornia: Rainbow Dash and Rarity fuck around in a castle for a few minutes
Come Back Lily Lightly: A unicorn is scared of being judged because her horn lights up when she giggles... I have no idea what kind of metaphor this is supposed to be.
Two for the Sky: A lesbian couple desperately want to fly. They get their wish but they quickly hate it cos they cant sleep together with those giant wings in the way.
Positively Pink: The ponies pink-ify the entire town for Pinkie Pie's birthday but realise they just wasted a whole day because her birthday's not until tomorrow.
Pinkie's Special Day: Oh so this is what they did for her birthday: they gave her a clipshow! Wow, that's cheap. That's like the giftcard equivalent of birthday surprises.
Rainbow Dash's Special Day: OH GOD DASH WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHY DO YOU SOUND SO WRONG?!
Star Song and the Magic Dance Shoes: Starsong and Pinkie try to do a dance routine without their shoes but realise its they cant dance without them. THE SHOES ARE A CRUCIAL ELEMENT IN DANCING WHERE'S THE SPARKLY PINK SHOES?!
Pinkie Pie's Party: Pinkie Pie has an anxiety attack during a trip about party and then goes to speedrun prepare for a party. Then her friends decide to make a party out of preparing for a party. Yknow Ponyville can make even paying taxes sound like a party.
Rainbow Dash's Party: Dash hosts a hat fashion show for all her friends where she likes everyones hats so much, she lets them all win. Even though one clearly should’ve won. I mean come on, Starsong’s has functioning piano notes on it. Do you know how much wiring goes into that? No, in fact Toola Roola's should win, its got the best motif and why arent easel-style berets a thing yet? Im way too into this. Lets carry on.
Cheerilee's Party: The ponies have a sleepover where they refuse to go to sleep. Hey, why dont we let Crane tell the scary stories. That'll help them stay awake.
Scootaloo's Party: Scootaloo hosts a sports day party for her friends and they decide to give her the trophy. Awww.
Starsong's Party: A pony gets stage fright about singing on stage but her friends encourage her to try anyway at a concert and whilst the pony is singing off stage, the curtains go up, revealing her talented voice to the world. And then G4 remade this plot into someone's nervous breakdown.
Toola-Roola's Party: Toola Roola spends a whole day waiting for her friends' painted plates to finish drying cos she doesnt know what a kiln is. Then she gets them mixed around cos the namecards are lost when its clearly obvious which is which. What a disaster horse.
Sweetie Belle's Party: The ponies put their own ideas for a cake into one batter, end up making something that even Buddy the Elf would have a heart attack and then Sweetie Belle suggests making them into a cake with separate layers….that’s still gonna taste like shit.
Twinkle Wish Adventure: A dragon steals a star Pokemon from the ponies because she thinks its a toy and by her logic, will help her get more friends. And then the ponies sing about how great their friendship is. Girls, she stole your property. Punch her.
Waiting for the Winter Wishes Festival: This is literally just a deleted scene from Twinkle Wish adventure. If you want to see Scootaloo fumble around doing a holiday tiktok dance, here it is.
Sweetie Belle's Gumball House Surprise: The core 7 ponies spend 5 minutes searching for Sweetie Belle in her house via scavenger hunt only to find she's just in the backyard. The little gremlin.
Pinkie Pie's Ferris Wheel Adventure: Pinkie creates/manages an entire theme park by herself just for her friends to visit. Pinkie, where did you get the money to create this theme park? Are you a rich kid? Do you have a trust fund?
So Many Different Ways To Play: Baby Scootaloo is just pure chaotic gremlin mode and drives her sister and her friend ragged. This is the content I want to see.
Over Two Rainbows: The baby ponies find out baby Sweetie Belle has god-like powers but just wants to have a dress up party. AND APPARENTLY BABIES ARE MADE WHEN TWO RAINBOWS FUCK
The World's Biggest Tea Party Live: It's weird to see me watch this without 3 ex-bronies screeching at the screen for how 'cringeworthy' it is and then go completely off the rails to talk about Tumblr memes and have nipple fights.
....Oh yeah, the plot of the show is that Pinkie and Minty have a miscommunication boo-boo and now their tea party's fucked cos they aint got a teapot. Then they ask the audience to summon a giant teapot with the Tea-necronomicon. There was much rejoicing
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primofate · 3 years
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im feeling kinda akward since its my first time requesting,i really really really like your writings and im wondering if you could do some angst for albedo, anything you feel like tbh, but if may i be a little selfish i was thinking on something like he hurt you, so you break up with him or maybe he break up with you and regret later, im in love with the genius and your writings so why not lol, hope you are doing well, xoxoxooxox
Thanks for the request anon. <3 Sorry it took so long, but I’m feeling angst today so here goes. Let me know what you think <3
QUEUED POST
Scenario: Breaking up
Characters: gn! reader x Albedo
Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst?
Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)
Read: (Part 2) (Part 3 - Final)
Albedo
Alone.
These days you found yourself alone in your shared home. It had been nearly a year since the two of you decided to live together. Maybe that was a bad idea.
You were smitten. He was such an intelligent man, and truth be told you loved how his mind worked. He was silent and mostly kept to himself at first, but with you, there were subtle touches, fleeting kisses. Oh and his eyes, the way his eyes brightened or the way his lips turned up at the sight of you. The way he held you close at nights, up until the morning.
Gone were those days. 
He was hardly home. The intelligent man you had fallen in love with, was also a workaholic. Perhaps you should’ve seen it coming. There were so many signs.
Maybe he changed. Maybe you changed. But the little things weren’t enough anymore. He came home just to sleep and wake up, and he was off again. 
“Bedo, have you got some time off on the weekend? We haven’t been up to Starsnatch Cliff in a while,” you had prodded him a few days ago, wondering if the problem would be solved if you made the first move. 
“Sorry, Y/N, we’re just about to discover more about the properties of electro crystals... It’ll be useful if we want to sustain higher energy concentrations on...” and just like that he had gone off a tangent explaining the whole thing. You smiled a little, it was still endearing how excited he got discussing those things. 
But you couldn’t help but be lonely at how he seemed to love his research more than you. 
‘Maybe I just need to be more proactive. That’s it! I’ll go and visit him at the lab today!’ Surprising him was one of the things that you had always wanted to do. But not a lot of things got past Albedo. He was observant like that. You made a quick run to the bakery, getting him some croissants and welcomed yourself into the Favonius Headquarters. 
You looked up at the sign on his laboratory door. That sign was always there though, Klee had told you about it, and Sucrose had also talked about it once or twice before, telling you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go in if the sign was up. But when was it ever down? So, you shrugged, and pushed the door open with a wide smile.
“What are you doing here?!” There’s a wild look in Albedo’s eyes the moment you step in. He didn’t appreciate being disturbed. You tilted your head a little at his reaction, you weren’t expecting that.
“Oh, since you’ve been so busy these days I just thought I’d drop by and give you something to--”
“Y/N, did you not see the sign on the door? No disturbances, even from you,”
“I’ll just be quick, I’m just dropping this off,” you lift the paper bag from the bakery and lay it down on the nearest table. Albedo closes his eyes with a sigh. 
“...We’re working on something dangerous right now, I don’t have time to eat. Please take it back,”
Surprisingly, you obey quite quickly, and take the paper bag back into your hands. Annoyance start to pulse in your veins. “Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”
Sucrose had been standing there the whole time, and you can see the slight wince on her face at your cold statement... But Albedo had returned it ten fold, snapping an answer back. “Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”
You didn’t expect how much it would sting. Your shoulders slump downwards at the realization that this... had gone too far. You couldn’t take it anymore. Sucrose opens her mouth, but doesn’t know what to say looking back and forth between you and Albedo. 
The Kreideprinz had continued with his task as if nothing had happened at all, but he knew what he said. He didn’t want any interferences nor accidents happening in the lab and that was the only thing he cared about at the moment. 
Your foot moves to step back, but your eyes are glued to Albedo. You can only see his back. His hair tied up neatly, the shoulders that you loved to wrap your arms around and his hands that were always gentle. You took a good look, drinking the whole scene in like you hadn’t had a drop of water in days. 
This was the last time you would lay eyes on him and it broke you into so many pieces. You turned away without another word, Sucrose staring at the door, before she decided that she needed to follow you. “I-I’ll be back, Master Albedo,” she rarely ever abandoned an experiment, but she knew that you needed a friend right now. 
Ironic, because it should have been Albedo running after you, but instead the green-haired girl caught up to you just as you reached the fountain in the middle of Mondstadt. “Y/N!” she jogs, and stops when you do as you hear your name.
Tears prickled your cheeks, but they were more of frustration than sadness. You stand there for a moment, drying your tears and turning around towards Sucrose, gaze on the pavement. “Y/N...” Sucrose approaches carefully, hand resting on your shoulder.
“...I don’t know anything other than Albedo, Sucrose,” you start, a curtain of memories flashing through your mind. “...Without him, there isn’t much reason for me to stay in Mondstadt,” Sucrose shakes her head rather hastily. “H-He’s just... a little occupied right now, Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t mean what he said,” You close your eyes, the scene repeating in your head.
“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”
“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”
A hard lump forms on your throat at how hard you try not to sob. How hard you try to keep yourself together and Sucrose sees it from the way your lips tremble. “Sucrose, please watch over him,” and that is also the last that Sucrose sees of you. 
That night, Albedo arrives home exhausted, just as he always does. But now that he was home, he could at least expect a warm meal and a warm hug. A soft smile tugs on his lips at the thought.
When he turned the lights on, he was met with a strange stillness instead. His hand stays on the switch as his eyes scan the living room. It was...quiet. There were no plates on the table, and there were no sounds from the kitchen.
Deep in the pits of his stomach there’s an anxiety that starts bubbling up. He brushes it off, opting instead to check the kitchen. “Y/N?”
Empty. 
His footsteps hasten as he opens the bedroom door, expecting you to be curled up there, asleep. 
Empty.
Albedo takes in a shaky breath. You were probably just out in town, doing some late night shopping. Yeah, that’s it, perhaps you just didn’t have enough ingredients for dinner today and--his eyes land on the bedside table.
The photo frame is gone. The photo of the two of you standing side by side together with comfortable smiles on your faces, his hand on your waist, and the house on the background. 
He throws open the closet doors. Your clothes are gone. Your shoes are gone. Even your scent seemed to have disappeared. The anxiety that was once a small bubble in his stomach had started to claw it’s way out, wrenching his heart in places that he didn’t know could hurt. The tears pooling in his eyes were so foreign that he didn’t even know what was happening until he hears himself gasp back a sob.
You’re gone. 
Suddenly it was so hard to breathe, but he pulls himself up and out the door. There’s no way. Where would you go? Perhaps you were just around Mondstadt, trying to get a breath of fresh air to calm your nerves. He searches everywhere. The church, the tavern, the Good Hunter and even atop the rooftop of the Favonius Headquarters. There was a decent view of the city there, and his eyes roam the streets, just to get a glimpse of you.
“...Please...” There’s another lump in his throat, his eyes dart around looking for any small sign of you. 
“Albedo? Tired?” you ask as he returns home one day. He merely lets out a small “Mm,” and pulls a chair out from the dining table to sit on. You walk into the kitchen to fetch him a cup of tea, and he snatches your hand to press a soft kiss on the back of it. “Thank you, love,” 
“...Please!” his grip on the stone walls of the rooftop tighten. His vision blurs.
“Al! Don’t do that!” you try to swat his hand away from the pot, a short laugh coming off of your lips at how mischievous he could be sometimes, trying to dip his finger into the sauce. He has a grin on his face as he successfully tastes the sauce off his finger, making a sound of approval as he draws you in for a light kiss on your forehead, “It’s good, as always,” 
His legs buckle, and he finds himself on his knees, hands fisted upon the cold stone wall. “At least tell me where you've gone! I can’t--” he doesn’t know when the last time he cried was, but whenever it was, he doesn’t remember it to be this bad. The pain was unlike any injury he had, it grasped so tightly at his heart.
“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”
“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”
He furiously shakes his head because he knows that it was his fault. “I didn’t mean it, please give them back,” as if there was someone else who took you away. As if there was a God listening to him right now. 
He realizes that the worst of it was not that you had left, but that you had left no traces of you behind. No photo. Not a piece of clothing. Not a trace of your existence.
Nothing for him to hold on to.
That night, he dragged himself back home. Face flushed and hot from the tears he had shed and the ones he was attempting to hold back.
That night, he painfully got into bed.
Alone.
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OK SO I HAVE RE WRITTEN THE LONELY MOUNTAIN EPISODE GYHUIYUDTUGUHHYTFYUGH
NO BECAUSE IVE JUST REALISED. THEY COULD HAVE EASILY MADE MOOMINTROLLS CHARACTER AT LEAST LESS OF A FUCKING CLOWN IN THE LONEY MOUNTAIN EPISODE BY JUST. HAVING SNUFKIN INVITE HIM TO GO SOUTH IN WINTER. INSTEAD OF MOOMINTROLL GOING OUT TO FOLLOW HIM.
like surely this would make sense for both of their characters if done right
snufkin could be all like oh well i didnt see him for fucking ages during and after november siuhufsighishu ig maybe he could come with me?????? i am gay and miss him anyways lol???????? but hes like at least kinda hesitant about it so it makes sense when he wants to be away from him later.
WAIT I HAVE JUST HAD THE GREATEST IDEA
what if WHAT IF instead of the plot being that moomintroll acts like an absolute BAFFOON while staying with snufkin during the winter WHAT IF HIS HIBERNATION STARTS TO KICK IN AND SNUFKINS LIKE HOLY FUCKING SHIT GET OFF THIS MOUNTAIN GO BACK HOME AND SLEEP????????????? the fact that he wants to be alone could also be a reason so OKOK SO IMAGINE THIS RIGHT YES THE PLOT:
- moomintroll is invited (slightly hestitantly) by snufkin to stay with him during winter - he is very excited in the beginning so u can see clearly how his energy gets completely drained by the end - same with snufkin because he wants to be alone - over the course of the episode snufkin sees that not hibernating is KICKING IN (moomintroll yawning all the time, maybe fidgeting alot idk, just generally showing signs of being tired ect, ect) - moomintroll tries to hide it by covering his yawns as coughs ect ect - instert shot of snufkin blank staring at moomintroll after fake coughing and moomintroll awkuardly laughing it off and saying some shit like “haha cave dust am i right?” - feels pretty in character tbh fgyuydTFUTYRY - ITS MORE IN CHARACTER THAN HIM BEING A FUCKING CLOWN THATS FOR SURE - ok i will except ONE moment of moomintroll being kinda annoying to snufkin in someway AS LONG AS HE ISNT STRAIGHT UP ACTING LIKE A CLOWN to show clearly that hes starting to really not want him here and to be alone again - JUST ONE AS LONG AS ITS NOT PAINFUL TO WATCH - at some point snufkin starts hinting to him like UHHH MAYBE GO AND HIBERNATE???? comments and shit like “your bed would be more comfortable than my tent” ect ect and moomintroll brushing it off every time like “haha its fine mama made me bring extra blankets”  - que the snufkin blank stare in moomintrolls direction bUT SLIGHTLY MORE WORRIED THIS TIME LIKE DAMN IS HE EVEN GOING TO WAKE UP AGAIN AFTER HE GOES TO SLEEP - moomintroll starts rambling about something and after more of the previous bullet point snufkin suddenly cuts him off with a more explicit HEY MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO HIBERNATE - moomintroll starts getting defensive aND THIS IS WHERE THEIR FIGHT CAN HAPPEN - BUT WAY LESS OF MOOMINTROLL BEING A CLOWN TO SNUFKIN AND WAY MORE OF HIM BEING A CLOWN TO HIMSELF - moomintroll then gets VERY defensive and starts saying shit like “im not a child who needs to go to bed early” (to tie into his previous arcs of wanting to be taken seriously and to be more independent ect BECAUSE IN THE REAL EPISODE ALL THE PREVIOUS ARCS WERE THROWN OUT THE WINDOW IG YGYUFTYDTGY) - because moomintroll starts getting defensive and angry snufkin then starts lashing out about being with moomintroll and generally just him being frustrated because he wants to be alone  - here we can essentially just copy and paste the rest of the original fight - “right then, i know where im not wanted” - “im sorry moomintroll but its called the lonley mountains for a reason” (also insert a comment about him needing to hibernate here) - yeah literally just copy and paste until snufkin runs after him and moomintrolls already left - except moomintroll looks more tired during the fight (maybe dragging his feet a bit as he leaves, ect) but like not so tired that he wouldnt able to lash out/be angry with him - also snufkin IMMEDIATLY going to try to stop him right after their fight makes a lot more sense because obviously not only does he regret shutting him out and lashing out at him (like in the original episode) but hes also like OH FUCK HE JUST LEFT TO BE COMPLETLY ON HIS OWN PROBABLY BARLEY CONCIOUS AND JUST BEFORE A STORM STARTS - it also makes more sense when he hears one (1) shout from moomintroll AND STARTS DRAMATICALLY GOING AFTER HIM because its no longer oh we had one (1) fight and he might be in danger from the storm NO ITS NOW OH GOD HE MIGHT BE IN DANGER FROM THE STORM AND IS PROBABLY BARLEY CONCIOUS ANYWAY - yes we keep wildly gay scene where snufkins all like “i do miss you too yknow i think about you all the time- I MEAN-” - yknow because the original episode conflict is still there just WAY LESS OF MOOMINTROLL BEING A BAFFOON AND MORE OF SNUFKIN BEING WORRIED ABOUT HIM (but also still wanting to be alone like in the actual episode) - when moominmama and moominpapa come to take him home theyre like DAMN u need to FUCKING HIBERNATE HOLY SHIT - that could also be why the left to find him in the first place (like maybe they remembered once when another moomin or one of them tried to not hibernate for that long) and theyre like OH SHIT IS HE GOING TO FALL ASLEEP ON A MOUNTAIN - back when moomintroll and snufkin had just gotten to the mountain it could cut to a scene in moominhouse where moominmama makes a comment like “ive never known a moomin to not hibernate for so long” (he didnt hibernate the last winter if i remember right (maybe this storyline hasnt happened in moominvalley 2019 idk) and he also didnt hibernate for half the winter before that (in episode 1)) and moominpapa makes a comment like “ah i remember when i was a young moomintroll and didnt hibernate for a year. when next winter came around i fell asleep at dinner on the kitchen table and didnt wake up until the spring.” and moominmama just has a moment of well that would have been more useful to know before we sent him climbing up a mountain- - yea i dont actually know why they go to find him in the original episode i havent seen the whole thing just clips tygutydfugudrtf - anyways its basically the same moomintroll and snufkin say their goodbyes and moomintroll goes back home with his parents - personally i think the last scene in the actual episode was real looking at all the dialogue before and during it and just everything that happens but here it can just be one of his funki moomintroll hallucinations (because yknow HE WAS BARELY CONCIOUS i dont think snufkin would stop him hibernating to invite him back) maybe it can be made more clear that moomintrolls not really there (for example in the last shot where moomintroll and snufkin are in the foreground looking at the northen lights there could just be empty space where moomin would be sitting)  - yes the end moomintroll leaving to go back home is more of a mutal agreement which is benifical to both sides and can give both of them more delicious character development or something idk
PLEASE I SPENT 2 HOURS WRITING THIS HOW AM I MAKING SO MANY LONG TUMBLR POSTS I DID NOT KNOW I HAD THE DEDICATION TO DO THIS KIND OF SHIT BUT HERE WE ARE TYGUUTYRYTUGYDTFYGH
ive never re written an episode of anything before so idk if this sound more of less like a fanfic than the original???? bUT MOOMINTROLLS NO LONGER BEING A CLOWN TO SNUFKIN SO THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME YGYUFTYRTFYUTYTSRDYTFTRDYTF
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@syrene04​ I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN BUT YES HERE IS THE ENTIRETY OF LONELY MOUNTAIN RE WRITTEN TFGYFTYDRTFYGUFYRDF-
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lovely-angst · 3 years
Text
break ups and break ins
a/n: i didn't have any motivation to continue writing so it stayed in my drafts for forever. it's a super messy fic im not super proud of tbh i wanted to scrap it but i got so far lol
genre: angst to fluff
pairing: hawks x reader
summary: you and hawks break up, but someone breaks in?
word count: 3.7k+
09.16.21
-
"come on, stop being so sensitive," hawks groans with an eye roll as you gawk at him. "you think i'm being sensitive because I'm hurt that you're out there flirting with other girls while we are in a relationship?"
you scoff in disbelief before tears form in your eyes, "i can't believe you right now, keigo."
hawks' brows knit as he stares at you bewildered, "i've already told you that it's just an act i have to out up because of the commission. i can't let them figure out i have a romantic relationship with someone. you don't know what they would do or could do."
"but that doesn't mean you can flirt around with no boundaries!" your voice comes out loud as your arms flail out in front of you, tears streaming down your face, "do you know how much it hurts to see you on television sweet-talking every girl out there when you're my boyfriend? i thought you would respect what we have..."
"(name), just admit you're just jealous of the fangirls and leave it at that," hawks closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, "honestly, they appreciate me so much more than you do."
your eyes widen in shock as you feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces so small you aren't sure if you could piece it back up.
"keigo, i love you for who you are—not because you're hawks," your voice now small and laced with hurt. "if you can't see the reason why i am so upset, i think it's best if we end it."
hawks' eyes quickly glance to yours before they look away just as quick, "i think that's what's best too," he whispers, causing your brows to furrow in sadness as you purse your lips tightly.
taking a step forward, you wrap your arms around your now ex-boyfriend, taking in his comforting arms and smell, "thanks for everything." a heavy sigh left from his lips before he nuzzled into you, "can i hold you in bed one last time?"
words died in your throat as you felt the tears sting your eyes once more. a nod was your only reply as hawks lifted the two of you up with his large wings, carrying you into the bedroom.
no words were exchanged as the two of you allowed your quiet breaths to mingle together in silence.
-
your heart was still achey from the fresh break-up as your cries and tears quietly filled the air. your nose and eyes red and raw from all the wiping you had done—the tissues around you as proof.
"hey, come on. you can't keep living like this and expect to get better," mirko says and she stands infront of you with a small smile. "how about we watch something to distract your mind?" she suggests as she turns around to pick up the controller to turn the television screen on.
"hawks, being the number two hero must be so taxing! how do you do it?"
hawks gives that big bright smile you've always loved, "my fans always give me motivation to do my best! i love you my babybirds!"
"oh shit-" mirko quickly turns the television screen off before she turns over to you, watching as your lips quiver before you break out in another crying session.
"rumi," you whine, muffled behind your tissues, "he doesn't care for me at all!" letting out a sigh, she walks over and places a comforting hand on your hair before running her hand through your locks, "hey, don't say that. hawks' cared for you a lot. break-ups happen, but don't let it keep you like this. let's go out and have some fun today, yeah?"
your teary eyes glance up at her before you let out sigh, "okay."
but to your surprise, a quick hour later here you were on a chair getting your makeup done professionally as mirko sat on the couch, munching away on a carrot. "rumi? why am i getting my makeup done professionally?"
"my makeup artist is good at what she does when she beats my face with makeup for those hero galas. i thought it would make you feel better getting your makeup done professionally before we go out and explore the city a bit," she finishes, taking another crunchy bite of her carrot.
a small, "oh" leaves your lips before your attention focuses back on the lipstick that gently glided across your lips. "there, all done. you look great!" the makeup artist cheers as she hands you a mirror.
your eyes sparkled once you saw your reflection—you had never felt so pretty before!
"are you ready to go out now?" mirko asks with a smile as she stands from her seat. you couldn't help the small, yet excited, smile, "yeah."
-
your words had been on repeat in hawks' mind.
you were upset because of how he was treating his fans—flirting with his fans as you put it. it was a constant argument the two of you had and frankly, he was getting tired of it. why you couldn't understand where he was coming from?
he didn't want to break up because of something so trivial, but it seemed like a break up was the only option. but it was fine, his fans kept him going; or that's what he thought was keeping him going.
"hawks! we love you!" his fans cried as he landed down in front of them, his handsome smile swooning everyone lucky enough to get their eye on him. "thanks birdies! i'm always happy to have your support!"
"can i have a picture?" "sign my shirt for me!" "you're the best hero!"
fans; something he enjoyed about being a hero. everywhere he went, they were there to offer him their love and support which he appreciated and loved!
but there often came days when he just wanted to stay cooped in his apartment. away from the world and away from the hero hawks. he simply wanted to escape and enjoy being keigo for a little while.
maintaining a facade took a lot away from him. it was tiring, exhausting even, trying to keep up with how fast his mind was going. a million different things happening at once and hawks had to be able to solve them. a little much for a single guy, don't 'cha think?
landing in at his balcony, hawks let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with another tiring day of being the number two hero. thankfully, he had the next day off to do, well, nothing.
staring at the dark apartment with a an empty look, hawks let out a groan of exhaustion before unlocking the door and stepping in.
it was quiet, extra quiet these days. since he had gone to living by himself again.
after removing his hero gear, hawks walked into the kitchen and frowned at his lack of food in the fridge. usually, you were always there to greet him with a smile and a hearty dinner after a hard day at work.
well, that didn't matter anymore because you two had broken up, hawks mentally responded to his thoughts.
it seemed like tonight was one of those nights he really missed you.
you made this place feel like home and the more he thought about it, you were his home. he was safe with you and it was okay to let hawks go for the night and just be keigo. you loved him as he came, his flaws and everything. even the emotional baggage!
letting out an exhausted sigh, hawks closed his empty fridge before making his way towards his bed, plopping down with a grunt. "i'll just get a bigger breakfast tomorrow," he noted, pulling out his phone to catch up on his social media for the night.
hawks wasn't expecting to see much on his social media, he's too busy to be checking these sorts of things. today though, he was a little extra bored at home—until he saw a photo of you that mirko shared.
hawks quickly sat up in disbelief. hawks was genuinely confused. you had always been super pretty, but you were extra pretty in this picture. was it because you were no longer his? his eyes glanced over you in the photo for many long minutes as he took in your beauty. you looked so ethereal.
hawks was so thankful for mirko, he would have never stumbled across this photo of you.
the more he smiled at the photo, the more his heart ached. if only he just listened to you more and tried to find a solution to this problem, you would still be with him, in his arms. he was a fool to let you go because he didn't understand your pain. especially when you were always there for him when you couldn't understand his pain.
hawks found himself pulling up that photo of you whenever the days were tough. it never failed to bring a smile to his lips.
until mirko deleted the post.
he should've saved it when he had the chance, hawks thought as he let out a groan upon finding no picture. but, maybe mirko still had it on her phone? thankfully, there was a top five hero meeting that day which meant he could ask mirko about the picture.
hawks sat impatiently in his chair as he drummed his finger against his thigh, counting down the minutes until the meeting would conclude. it must've been distracting, because mirko approached him first after the meeting.
"hey birdbrain, what's up with you? you looked distracted during the meeting," mirko questioned walking up to the winged hero. hawks perked up slightly, before giving her a smile, "hmm? nah, just sick of meetings, wanted to get out." mirko eyed him curiously, "if you say so."
"i saw that picture you posted of (name)," he commented, "you two were hanging out?"
"huh? oh, this picture?" pulling up the picture on her phone, she showed him the photo before pulling away to hawks' dismay. "yeah, we went out. it was about time too! (name) seemed to be enjoying herself, so i'm glad i got to capture that."
hawks couldn't help the smile on his lips knowing that you were happy and could enjoy yourself. he really just wanted you to be happy, even if that wasn't with him.
"if you wanted the photo, you could've just asked," mirko smirks, causing hawks to duck his head down in embarrassment. "but even if you ask, im not giving it to you." Hawks turned his head brows furrowed and confused, slightly offended, "why would you even suggest it then?"
"not sure, maybe it'll be a way to encourage you to find a way to get it."
-
mirko had an interesting way of talking, hawks thought as he continued on with his patrol. it seemed like she was hinting at more than what she was saying, but he wasn't really interested in solving puzzles when he was busy being the number 2 hero.
and boy, was he busy busy.
it felt as if all the villains knew hawks would be out on patrol today, using that to their advatange by stiring up so much more trouble than on a typical day—not that he couldn't handle it, it was just more work that he would have hoped to do that day.
from the sky, he could see a crowd forming below on the streets as they cheered him on for another successful capture. hawks let out an exhausted sigh, but floated down to greet his fans nonetheless. there even happened to be press.
"hawks! you were amazing out there!" "great work! i can always count on you!" "you looked so attractive fighting those villains!"
hawks lifted up his visor and gave the fans a handsome grin, causing a chorus of squeals. hawks glanced at one of the fans near him lips curled in a smirk, mouth ready to open and say a few lines that would send arrows straight to the heart when he subconsciously stopped himself.
closing his mouth, he gave her a gentle smile before a soft reply came out, "thank you for supporting me."
it was weird of him to respond to fans in such fashion, but your words were stuck in the back of his head. he wished he could have acted this way before you two broke it off, it would have saved a lot of heartache.
hawks hoped you would notice his change. and unbeknownst to him, you had.
your eyes were glued to the television that aired the news that also happened to feature your ex-boyfriend, hawks. your heart felt fuzzy as you watched him, he seemed different...more down to earth?
"your eyes haven't left the tv since hawks appeared," mirko comments causing you to avert your eyes embarrassed. "i was just interested in the news for today, that's all," you tried but knew mirko wouldn't buy into your lie.
"yeah, okay. keep telling yourself that," she chuckles as she she sits down beside you. "so, whats going on in that head of yours now?"
"he's different now, rumi," you state, eyes drifting back to the screen. "he's talking to his fans like they're fans." your shoulders slump sadly, "i wish he was like this when we were together...i guess he really doesn't care about me after all."
mirko lets out a grunt as she listens to your moping. turning towards her, you notice her adjusting her purple thigh high socks to sit snugly against her upper thighs, "you have patrol this evening?"
"yep, my turn for an evening patrol. they're not that bad, more bad guys come out at night," she jokes with chuckle but you don't find it funny. "i know you can easily beat them, but that doesn't mean i worry any less for you," you sigh. "stay safe please."
"will do, cry baby," she jokes once more causing you to angrily pout, "i'm not a cry baby!" "says the one crying over hawks. bye!" and with that she quickly leaves out the door before you could throw a pillow at her.
rolling your eyes playfully, you walk over toward the bedroom you shared with mirko. you had a nice futon on the floor beside of her bed that surprisingly was very comfy. organizing her room a bit and folding her clothes she tossed around, you tried to busy yourself until she came back.
which was surprisingly short.
you heard the main door swing open before hearing her move around the living room and kitchen. she must've forgotten something, you thought to yourself as you made your way toward the bedroom door you had previously closed behind you.
"rumi? did you forget something?" you ask as you open the door, just to find yourself staring at the stranger in the apartment who donned a black ski mask with some sort of weapon in their hand. unfortunately your voice had caught their attention and their head quickly turned toward you before bolting it down the hallway for you.
screaming, you quickly shut the door and locked it before the thief could get in. the rattle of the doorknob causes you to let out another shriek as you looked around for a way to protect yourself and to escape.
the only solution that came to your mind was to block the door with whatever heavy furniture mirko had on her room which consisted of her bed, a desk and her clothes drawers. you did your best to block the door, but it was proving to be not enough.
"open the door and i won't hurt you miss," the voice called out and you felt your stomach twist from their words.
you scurried around to look for your phone and thankfully found it amongst this chaos and your body went on auto-pilot and dialed the first person that came to your mind whenever you were in danger.
your shaky hand brought your phone to your ear as you ran into the furthest corner of her room. your free hand covering your trembling lips. please pick up.
"hello? (name)?"
"keigo please help me," you cried quietly so the person on the other side couldn't hear you, but the desperation in your voice was clear as day for hawks. "(name)? whats happening? where are you?" his voice was now firm and laced with worry as you began to sob in through the phone.
"i'm at mirko's and she just left for patrol but someone broke in and i hid myself in her room. i'm so scared, please come quick." and right after he heard you squeak in fear from the unidentified noises through your phone.
"i'm coming right now," you could hear the power his wings had as he lift himself into the sky, "does she have any windows you can exit from?" glancing behind you, you took a mental note that her windows were large enough for you to escape through—the only problem was mirko lived on the tenth floor.
squeezing your eyes shut, you nodded even though hawks could not see you, "yeah, but she doesn't have any escape ladders and i'm on the tenth floor." hawks cursed under his breath on the other side, "just hold on, i'm almost there."
clutching onto your phone, you jumped when the barricade you made against the door was getting tossed around from the force of the stranger on the other side trying to break in. scrambling around, you quickly unlocked the window before opening it, allowing the wind to flow in.
with another jolt from the door all of your barricades flew from the door, leaving it vulnerable. you knew the door would fall with his next move, so with trembling hands, you maneuvered your body outside the window, letting your bottom sit on the window frame.
from a distance, you could hear someone calling out your name. when you narrowed your eyes to focus, all of the stress left your body as you watched them shoot towards you. hawks had come to your rescue!
but hawks wasn't close enough.
the door behind you broke allowing the stranger into the room and before they could grab a hold of you, you jumped.
"(name)!"
as your body free fell down towards the earth, hawks used his wings to give himself one strong push forward before folding his wings tightly behind his back to gain speed to reach you.
reaching his arms out, he caught you in time before shooting back up towards the sky, "that was so stupid of you!" you shouted loudly against the wind, "what if i wasn't there in time?"
glancing up at him, you gave him a small smile, "i just knew you'd get to me in time ."
-
"agh, more paperwork i have to fill out!" mirko groans as she walks around her messy apartment after hawks and her had caught the suspect and had cops take care of him. as she walked away into her bedroom with a line of curses, you quietly turned over towards hawks who had his back facing you. he was on call with the commission.
"yep, i'll get that finished tomorrow," ending his call and stuffing his phone in his pocket, he turns around to find you staring at him. his cheeks flush slightly from the sudden eye contact, but he managed to compose himself. "are you doing alright? that must've been quite the terrifying experience."
"yeah, thanks for picking up. you were the first person i thought to call," you confess and he perks up. "oh yeah?"
"you've always kept me safe and i just really needed you when i was in danger. so thanks," giving him a smile he mirrors you. "of course, anything for you."
your heart flutters from his words, but you slightly turn yourself away, glancing down. you two were no longer dating, so there was no need to get butterflies over him again. "well, thanks again. you must have a busy day tomorrow."
"do you buy any chance still have that photo of you when you were out with mirko?" hawks asks suddenly causing you to glance up at him. "you know, when you two went out a couple weeks ago? you were all dolled up and honestly, just super pretty?" hawks says boldly with a sheepish grin.
"why are you asking?"
"send it my way."
you gawked at him, "you want me to send you a picture of me? we're not dating anymore, that would be weird!" hawks could only shrug, "okay, that's simple then. let's go on a date." you gawked even further, "what is going on inside of that bird brain? all this for a photo?"
"i want to be the one who takes those photos of you. i want to be the reason you get all dolled up. i know i messed up, (name). i've been changing the way i talk to my fans because i understand how i hurt you. could you give me another chance to make it better? i promise i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."
this was coming too suddenly, your wounds were just starting to heal.
"you...you don't mean that, hawks," you say dejectedly as you back up to sit on mirko's couch. "i'm scared."
"he means it you know?" mirko pops out of the hallway suddenly and stands with her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the two of you. "he's been asking me for that picture nonstop since he saw it online."
"but he really does love you still, (name) and i know you still love him too. go ahead and give it another shot, i'll be here to kick him to the curb if he does anything bad to you." she encourages, making you glance back towards hawks.
"promise?" your eyes are sparkly from the tears that had glossed over your eyes and hawks gives you a confident nod, "promise. i'll pick you up at six tomorrow?"
you couldn't help your growing smile, "yeah, i'll be waiting."
- e x t r a -
as hawks flew off towards his apartment, the notification ding of his phone went off causing him to take a look. you had sent him a text!
opening the message his eyes widen from the photo you sent, it was the cute pic of you all dolled up!
"i'm so in love!" he shouts loudly in the sky.
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letsdiscoverkitty · 2 years
Text
Short Update
12.03.22//
I'm really sorry that I have been so pants at writing the update that I promised...truth be told, Im finding it hard to know what to say/where to start and my brain is complete mush/fog right now. Not only that but I am also feeling incredibly embarrassed/ashamed of my current situation.
Things were going so well with my degree apprenticeship. I was making great progress at work, getting great feedback and becoming more confident/settled in the role. Uni side was going fine, I wasn't enjoying the study blocks social aspects but the units were interesting and I was enjoying seeing how it could be applied to my every day job.
However underneath/amongst it all, anorexia has been raging and screaming, holding full control of the reins for longer than I care to admit. Looking back, the whole of my last admission (a top up to help me get out of a relapse after the previous admission before I started work) was dictated and controlled by anorexia. (It was also incredibly unhelpful on the ward and the support I got was just....a shambles but that's a whole other story). Upon reflection, I don't think that I have ever been willing enough or strong enough (or 'whatever' enough) to let it go of the eating disorder, it's rules, behaviours etc. And so the cycles have continued to playing out on repeat. I am beyond tired/exhausted/frustrated/lost for words at myself, and so is everyone else tbh. There really is nothing more/new to say anymore. It's just really shit/sad.
I keep on failing and messing up just when there seems to be a little ray of 'hope' (Uni/travelling/work etc) and it's probably down to the illness getting so engrained and stuck and rigid and me never really willing to let it go or move forwards from it....
My therapist felt at a bit of a loss too, we were working well with SCHEMA and made some important progress, however the sessions then got overruled by the need to focus on my physical health as it became the priority. We then somehow started touching on some trauma work and it brought more to the surface than we realised it would...
But yes, I digress, and I forgot that this was meant to be "short"...
Over the past few months things have deteriorated and I was signed off from work 2 months ago as I was unable to make changes whilst working and studying. The hope was I could turn things around after an urgent review and being given a timeline/ultimatum...but no amount of desire to get back to work or study could unlatch the tight grip that anorexia has had on me. Being signed off from work unfortunately also fed right into the depression slump and I've found myself floating and sinking (whilst simultaneously sticking my head in the sand in the attempt to avoid reality) far more/further than I want to admit.
Sadly time was not on my side and my body hasnt been coping so well and so the my team felt I couldn't be left in the community any longer. So after trying to turn down numerous bed offers for SEDUs (because the last place I wanted to end up was on a EDU and genuinely wanting to do it from home), I agreed to be admitted to a completely different unit on Wednesday (9th March). I feel utterly horrendous and like the biggest failure in the world. Work have been beyond amazing/supportive/kind/understanding but my inner self critic is raging louder and louder. It is so hard to describe the paralysis of wanting and knowing so badly what you need and want to do but being utterly frozen to the spot and unable to move.
It is very early days and I am currently trying to find my feet on the ward - Im terrified for what the next few weeks hold as the refeeding process progresses and I don't know how long I am going to be here but I am determined to make this admission different and make it the last one I ever have to have again. The unit seems to be very different to all my past admissions so I am hoping that might help in elements but I know deep down that it has to come from me. And I am sick and tired of these cycles replaying in my life. It's the same old boring noise coming out of anorexia again and again and again. and Im done. I can't keep doing this to myself or my family. Im done.
I feel sad because there was such a huge part of me that wanted (and still does want) to be doing this in the community, I knew what I needed to do and I wanted to be doing it for myself. However right now I am having to accept that I need a little more help and support, which is hard. I am trying to tell myself that there is nothing to be ashamed of but it is so much easier said than done. Anorexia is so fucking complicated and messy. I genuinely don't think there is one cause or thing and it feels so overwhelming when I try to understand all its roots and twists and turns....it's insidious.
It has been controlling my whole entire life, and the lives of the people around me. I have been its puppet. And it's made me feel like I don't know how to live/move without it. Well this has gone on for far too long. Far too long.
So yes, I suppose that is my "short" update for now. I'm sorry.
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words-for-holland · 3 years
Text
Always Yours
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.
A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?
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“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.
“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.
“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.
The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.
Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.
Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.
She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.
“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.
“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.
“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”
Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”
“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”
Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.
Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”
Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”
“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”
“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.
Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”
“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.
“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”
Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.
***
Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.
“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.
To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.
“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.
“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”
Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.
Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”
Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”
Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.
***
“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.
Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.
“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”
Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”
“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.
Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”
Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.
Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.
Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”
Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.
Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.
“Im sorry, for being such a —”
“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.
“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”
“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.
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wolfsneedles · 3 years
Text
My Re-read of a storm of swords and i just cant get over how interesting it as book with iconic lines and carefully crafted dialogues and some miserable important deaths of some of my fav characters. Like this book, is really the iphone of asoiaf lol. A fine wine. Arbor gold. It starts from same events left incomplete in clash of kings but only that now every person meets their consequences and disastrous results of wrong moves & mistakes end so perfectly and painfuly in conclusive way. A feast for crows obviously focuses more on king's landing events and some of the riverlands with brienne and jaime. Might say it isn't my fav book yet since im reading it too apart from some breathtaking prophecies and aemon declaring how prince that was promised could be --> dany
However, ASOS is best best book ever. So much mess and bittersweet endings.
You see catelyn, robb and riverlands arc ending in the most tragic way as result of all small excusable mistakes to the reader that piled up and finally execution of red wedding with bangs and drums, not to mention this event was so catatonic and an irreversible tragedy that almost all characters had visions and dreams of it (patchface, Ghost of high heart, theon, daenerys, jon perhaps later) knowing half of these characters never met the victims of the red wedding.
This event also meant - northern power of houses and faith of independence and somewhat retribution they deserved or wish they had is thwarted now and almost all of them die there esp strength of dustin, manderlys along with boltons betraying them and roose coming out as an iconic cold hearted brute and villain somewhat.
This book also shows how stark sisters had their paths turned after the tiring chasing and running away like arya through war torn lands and sansa finally fleeing KL to Vale with littlefinger - in a way a complete revival again of her and arya embarking on to braavos with an entirely different name now and somewhat purpose we dont know yet also ends her arc of sadness and despair she felt when chasing and running towards her lady mother and robb at the twins. kind of tragic tbh more for her how she saw or heard almost every death of a stark. near to her or family, she saw horror unfolding in front of her eyes.
You have lannisters coming off as victorious ( not really then...) since tywin and tyrion's last scene is iconic. Its like how the might of house lannister which in case tywin refers to himself is broken on a freaking privy - somewhat bittersweet ending since we know cersei and jaime are already not so in a good mental state to make up for heir of casterly rock - and then we have tyrion fleeing too again, once more, finally, to essos as we know. This ending of his arc in KL is also imp since he entered this city like tywin as hand of the king and is leaving like a prisoner. Idk seems perfect to me how he runs and tywin who came as hand of king replacing his son, now goes back in ehh coffin...glory indeed.
You have bran and rickon already parting in ACOK, BUT now the most importent part of brans journey also begins somehow. and therefore him abandoning winterfell and that side of north for further journey is too sad for me too in a lot of ways. His connection to his own home as the last stark who was residing there has ended too (prob bloodraven has more action for my boy i hope).
You have Lysa Tully in the Vale before sansa arrived there with baelish, and she also ultimately gets too much of frightening end in same castles and doors she never opened for anyone - even refusing to help her sister during war because now i wonder had the vale signed for stark side, how different circumstances would be but then tywin wanted to play rains of castamere so bad (i hate him sorry)
Jaime and Brienne still were busy in their road ventures and romantic comedy but him arriving as cripple and maimed to KL, is again of uttermost importance since he in his thoughts lose a lot of confidence in himself now not really making him a perfect candidate for so many things,,, again he has to sort out some issues with his big of bully sister and not-so-accommodating power hungry deluded father but he chose to argue and decline offer for heir of rock and also confessed his utter disregard for poor kids he have, joffrey especially. Idk im so confused what this golden lion & a trained chivalrous warrior is onto since jaime's chapter is like a realistic slap on your face & we see his POV in ASOS only and then he just goes thru huuuge turmoil lol. (not good day or year for him tbh)
Lastly we have daenerys who then vows to settle in mereen making it evident in way how she isn't obsessed with utter power and throne of her ancestors as some ppl speculate, ofc she appears in ADWD again but her freeing slaves and singing dracarys is my another fav momet of ASOS, since dany is really not a frightened confused child she was, she is getting hold of things in realistic way too, and meets barristan, gets to know abt their betrayals, basically gets Unsullied, idk a major iconic moment if u see in contrast to how everyone is losing war now in westeros and wo5k is coming to kind of an end, with balon dying, robb and joff dead, and stannis...(well he is another spiritual case) going to the wall, we see how horrifying brutal war did come to an end in ASOS in the end eventually with tywin also dying. So dany getting an army of unsullied opposed to all other armies kind of dissolving in westeros is quite a distinction. ( bonus points she is young and woman and alone and has 3 dragon )
On the Wall - jon plays and practiced swords with emmett and then struck by memory of him and robb playing & above all how he wants to be lord of winterfell. In the end Jon Snow wins the vote in a landslide victory and is named the 998th Lord Commander. His entire journey from start of ASOS was with ygritte and Wildlings and then finally giving up on mance and returning to Wall with no expectations of him being commander after having spent moments alone and with wildlings and others with him just a ranger.
Realising in the end now, how storm of swords puts people in power like jon and dany and others like boltons and freys in north & riverlands, at the same time starks and lannisters are in way battered and struck by at a time tragedies. Half of people who were away from their families unite or return back like jaime while other half return somewhere more far (arya sansa at vale and braavos with bran more far from winterfell, rickon too), most of the 5 kings are dead too. Also aftermath of war at end of ASOS and AFFC also describes perfectly the attitude and responses of smallfolk towards whoever results in being the king of no concern to them. Most of the small roads and inns were damaged and plundered with woman and children killed or raped and men usually dead too. When we see arya or jaime and brienne usually, we read their POVs, we also see the wrenching elements of war too and how main message could also be that lords play their game of thrones but peasants suffer dreadfully more, we also see how smallfolks have no trust or loyalties towards any house or liege lord. They usually refer to starks and lannister conflict as 'wolves came...or lions did this'. Major point i noticed.
not to mention again, in essos and on the wall 2 different realities and places that mid westeros, we see dany and jon and their ingrown different experiences and attitudes towards smallfolks. freeing of slaves and getting some loyalties tied to you, while living with wildlings and seeing how they rule and eat and sleep like a commoner is so important. The Wall also gives meaning to how real breathing humans are segregated from westeros and other houses as result of prejudice and inborn enmities. The slaves in chains indicate how their little lives in Yunkai is not of importance when they are...utterly children. some of them.
ASOS has major shifting thoughts and stories tbh. Its like gospel of asoiaf for me.
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years
Text
sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him
using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful
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no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF
Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things
Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones
But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍
Some highlights I thought were very funny:
watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem
sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!
watson: visible pain
This clearly happens like every day or so with them
but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay
have you considered tho. have you considered them
have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them
They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.
Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife
Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME
They're... they certainly are.
ALSO OH MY GOD.
THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"
BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW
BRB SOBBING
CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER
The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married
Its so fucking funny.......
I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh
watson: I'm engaged!
sherlock: *pained groaning*
watson: do you... not like her?
sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.
watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me
sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*
watson: *in fucking agony*
sherlock: good for you!
I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT
ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S
I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main
The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.
And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.
I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?
I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy
But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem
Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly
Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER
cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.
Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny
Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.
LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH
SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS
Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like
Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!
watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you
Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT
watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days
sherlock: makes a deduction
watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!
sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol
watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait
watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!
sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.
watson: alright :)))))
AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS
So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is
And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?
LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.
HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???
AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK
Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible
sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked
and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS
the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her
and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED
and the dude just LEAVES
After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations
Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today
Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON
Watson: ITS FIVE PM
and:
Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE
Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU
Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats
Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.
Sherlock, exasperated: yes!
I love them your honor.
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yyparkq · 4 years
Text
hooked
characters: park sungjin x reader
word count: ~3.2k
summary: park sungjin is almost a perfect boyfriend for you...until he abruptly starts being emotionally withdrawn from you a few months into your relationship.
genre: fluff, smut
tw: mentions of anxiety, unprotected sex, slightly toxic relationship
requested by @parksungjinsfan
a/n: had tons of fun writing this really warm and cozy sungjin, thank you for the request!! tbh, i always see him as someone i’d be comfortable to share everything that’s on my mind. and i feel like he’s one of the very few people who will never judge you for your stupid mistakes but is also someone who needs to be taken care of. im blabbering too much. enjoy the story! :)
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There was nothing special on the day you first met Park Sungjin. Like any other normal college student, you were able to find yourself a small circle you can trust and have fun with. Because of them, you have encountered the seemingly quiet and mysterious guy from the engineering class. He was best friends with the guy your close friend, Erin, was dating.
If first impressions last, like how they say it does, you’re fairly sure you would barely get more acquainted with a Park Sungjin. Unlike you, Sungjin is more reserved with a constant hang of serious air around him, like the type of person who barely laughs when someone makes a joke in front of him. He doesn’t always hang out with a lot of people but when he does, he’s always got an earphone dangling in one of his ears as if saying he’s only halfway present. He dresses neatly albeit casually—oftentimes in a plaid or button-down shirt and faded jeans with his dark, wavy hair falling shortly before his dark brown eyes.
He’s a pretty decent guy but not really the type you see yourself to be dating. But when you accidentally met him at the movie house alone and decided to grab dinner after, you two hit it off so smoothly. Turns out you both share the love for the book that was recently adapted onto the big screen. You two talked over dinner nonstop about the movie, how it varies against the book, the great and bad parts that were changed, the cast that played the role, the cinematography, the lines. Your exchange that night was nothing but informative and honestly, you craved more to be with him after that night so you asked him to hang out with you again. Sungjin already had a perfect proposal to invite you the second time if you didn’t ask. His mind worked extra hard trying to keep up with the conversation with you while thinking about how to ask you out for the second time at the back of his mind.
It was a ticket to an international classical play that he had up his sleeves which you gladly accepted.
One impromptu date was followed by a few more. After classes, you will meet over snacks or spend time in the library, reading and studying together. On weekends, you will try to watch movies you find interesting or go to museums.
You dating each other has not been a complete secret from your friends and you’re glad at how supportive they are to your new relationship.  Somehow, you learned that Sungjin is actually an easy-going person, he talks and laughs a lot when he’s comfortable with the people he’s with. He’s knowledgable and he knows how to listen and strike up a healthy argument when needed even though sometimes he could be a little awkward and even seem standoffish.
Your friends think that your relationship is pure and innocent—almost platonic as one could say—but they couldn’t be any more wrong. Yes, you and Sungjin maintain a totally discreet relationship when you’re in public and with friends. It’s not like you have to tell anyone but you laugh inside when some of your friends ask about the status of your sex life. You never responded to such questions positively, not too comfortable in sharing such intimate details about your life with anyone, and somehow it painted an idea in their heads that you and Sungjin have never had sex yet.
The thing is, you two are fairly active in that regard. There is an unbelievably strong bond between you and Sungjin after the first date that is almost impossible for either of you to resist.
It was after the third date when you first give in to your desire. After spending time looking at ancient monarch artifacts and roaming around the museum, you were met with heavy rains the moment you stepped out of the museum building. Being in the middle of the summer, neither of you had attempted to check the weather that day for any sign of impending downpour that day. Your thin, white button-down shirt styled as a dress stuck to your skin as you both ran for his car across the parking lot, rendering your clothes almost transparent the moment you climbed into the passenger seat. The sight of you being wet and in close proximity with Sungjin didn’t help him control himself either.
“Would you like to come over to my place?” he asked coolly after giving you his spare jacket from the backseat to cover yourself. Even with his imaginations going wild, he’s still a gentleman in your eyes.
“Sure,” you nodded, well aware of what’s about to come next. It could be seen as taking things too fast but frankly, you didn’t care. You wanted this and it seemed like he did too.
You blushed when he flashed you that warm smile that reached his eyes before starting the car and driving away.
Sungjin refused to let you go home that night until you practically cannot walk. He fucked you senseless until you’re almost out of your wits, one orgasm after another until you’re quivering uncontrollably.
It has been five months since you started dating. Everything’s going pretty well in your relationship except that you are in no exception for fights and misunderstandings. Everyone says it’s normal in every relationship but for you who has barely had a serious relationship like what you currently have with Sungjin, it’s a foreign feeling trying to make amends with someone you’re romantically involved with and had to choose the next move.
This is the first major fight with him. The last five months of dating have been wonderful until weeks ago when you noticed that your boyfriend started withdrawing himself from you, physically and emotionally. This stressed you out though you still tried your best to be there for him. Whenever you two are alone, you couldn’t really talk to him about anything for more than five minutes. His mind obviously wandering off and he never realizes it when you stop mid-sentence until you’re parting ways. Whenever you try to ask what’s been bothering him, he just easily dismisses it off, saying he’s tired and he lacks sleep—which is also why you tried to limit your meetings after classes and dates, thinking it would help him a bit to spare a few more hours to rest. This side of Sungjin is completely new to you as you’ve known him for being so straightforward in telling what he thinks or feels and is usually logical with his actions. The fact that he no longer shares what’s bothering him makes you think of a hundred different reasons for being cold towards you.
Has he had enough of you? Did he realize you were too plain and boring for his liking? Were you not good in bed? Did he find someone else?
The blood on your face drained at the thought of Sungjin going out with some other girl. But you can’t stop him if that’s what he wants, can you? You can’t tell him how to feel. Of all the things, to be an obsessive girlfriend is one you’re dreading the most and after all the sacrifices and adjustments you made to try to help him with whatever burden he’s lifting, you’re determined to let him find the answers to his troubles himself. It’s not that you no longer want to help him, you love him too much, after all, but how can you help someone who refuses to help himself?
“Sweetie, have you tried talking to him again lately?” your friend, Yejin asked.
You glared at her and disappointment crossed your face. Has she really been listening to ask that question?
“No, I mean, I thought the last real conversation you had personally was like, what, almost two weeks ago? Did you try seeing him after class again after that?”
The three of you sat at your usual place in the coffee shop when your class was canceled by the professor to attend some personal matters.
Shaking your head, you reached for your cup and took a sip before answering. “I haven’t. He kept saying he’s tired and needs sleep so I gave him time to rest. And it’s been four days of merely receiving a text message from him. He won’t text me unless I text him first. I have no idea what’s happening to him,” you looked at Erin’s direction. “Did JB say anything?”
“That motherfucker doesn’t tell me any of his friends’ business, Y/N, but let me see if I can get anything.”
Even your friends who got closer to your boyfriend can’t think of him as someone who would cheat or be entertained by other girls. After a whole hour at the coffee shop trying to guess the possible reasons for Sungjin’s actions,  they suggested a silly plan of making him jealous to see how he responds when you’re on the brink of being taken away from him.
You did not like the idea. It was ridiculous and manipulative. You’re no longer in high school.  
“Come on, that could be a wake-up call for him. Just think of it as a social experiment and you’ll be fine,” Yejin tried to persuade you.
Ridiculously scary. Deep down, you’re also scared of how he will react to this plan. What if the situation worsens instead of getting better? He could just not talk to you again forever and you'll be dwelling in your own pain alone because of a stupid idea. But doing something is better than sulking and doing nothing, right? You’re young, and when you’re young, you can be stupid for free.
So you agreed and you started planning your own little scheme with your friends, hoping not to cause any further damage to your entire relationship.
For days, Erin made up stories about a guy from your class who is making a move on you and told her boyfriend about the plan to make Sungjin jealous. When JB said his best friend interrogated him about the innocent guy, she knew the plan will be going well so she came up with another without telling you.
As a celebration for the nearing end of the finals, your seniors decided to throw a grand party. Such parties should be considered a tradition already since almost everyone finds an excuse to get wasted after studying hard for the whole semester. You’re not one to miss such a celebration, especially when you ever really party during after the hell week.
Overhearing JB’s conversations with his girlfriend about some dude lurking around you has brought him back to his senses. For the last couple of days, he contemplated and reflected on his attitude towards you. He’s been a jerk to you lately and frankly, he didn’t know how to approach you again after that. He’s been too occupied in his own head that he forgot he actually has you now, someone who’s more than willing to share his troubles. Before he knew it, he was dashing through his car to the party where Yejin told him you’d be.
You came to the party to try to not overthink the problem between you and Sungjin. After surviving the finals week with emotional baggage, you know you deserve some booze to celebrate walking out of at least one thing alive. the last thing you hear about your little scheme with your friends is that Sungjin fired questions to JB. But he didn’t talk to you after that. Thankfully, you were also too busy to worry about your grades and it’s been a great distraction so far. Now that the finals are over, you’ll be damned again.
Sungjin found you scooping from a large tub of ice cream from the kitchen, bottles of beer and half-filled party cups surrounding you in the little space. There is a guy beside you laughing at the way you’re trying to scoop a frozen solid treat using a regular spoon. You’re too focused on what you’re doing that you didn’t see him come right in front of you.
To your surprise, Sungjin snatched the tub out of grasp and grabbed your hand. You needed a second to process what just happened but you are elated to see your boyfriend after nearly three weeks.
You let Sungjin pull you but were shocked when the guy beside you grabbed on your other wrist. What the hell? You didn’t even know his name. You saw Sungjin squint at the nameless guy and you immediately yanked away from him, wincing at the sudden jerk of your own hand immediately after.
Sungjin kept you to his chest as he waded through the sea of drunk people. All the while, you kept looking at his face. It felt months since you’ve been this close to him and at that moment, you were just ready to feed on whatever excuse he could say. He could lie to your face at that moment and you’d still be happy to welcome him back into your arms.
Merely a few feet from his car, you stopped walking and tugged on his arm. You slowly closed the distance between you two and encircled your arms around his shoulders when he turned to look at you.
Sungjin looked at your face closely, noticing you’ve lost some weight by the way the dimple on your left poked your cheek a bit deeper than the last time he saw you. His hands automatically found their way at your sides.
“I miss you so much,” you whispered while searching his eyes.
Sungjin leaned forward and kissed you feverishly. He guided you on your back until you are leaning toward his parked car. He pressed his body against you and you continued kissing until you both needed to gasp for some air. After resting for a few seconds, he began nipping and sucking on the sensitive area on your neck.
Proper communication be damned—you need him to touch you and you need it as soon as possible. You squirmed beneath him to try to close your legs when you felt wetness pooling in your panties but Sungjin’s left leg was pressed between your thighs.
He understood what you’re trying to do and immediately pressed a thigh against your core, amused to feel your wetness even through the material of your panties. His cock twitched inside his pants.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry,” he repeated as he embraced you tightly and kissed your temple before opening the door and letting you inside his car drove away.
Sungjin's hands quickly reached for the zipper of your dress, letting it pool around your feet, as soon as you reached inside his apartment. In an instant, his mouth was back against yours. He lifted both your thighs to circle his hips and your arms circled his broad shoulders for support.
You felt his hard shaft poking your entrance and you reached down to undo the fastening of his pants, pulling the waistband down just enough to free his throbbing cock.
Sungjin hissed when you grabbed his cock and spread the leaking precum over his tip. “Shit-”
You bobbed your hand up and down his length until you felt being laid down on the mattress, your boyfriend hovering over you.
He bucked his hips lightly to your touch and buried his head on your shoulders, to suppress his sinful moans.
You felt his body shake and he peeled himself off of you. “Baby, stop.”
Sungjin lifted his body and kissed the side of your head before reaching out to remove your soaked panties. He kissed and occasionally nipped the inside of your thighs before nudging the tip of his nose along your slit.
“Fuck, Sungjin stop tea—” you shrieked and were cut short when he licked a stip between your folds. Your hands immediately found purchase at his hair, tugging at it every time he licked your core and sucked on your clit.
“Language, baby,” he groaned hoarsely before inserting a finger into you. He continued his ministrations to your core, adding a second and third finger shortly after. “Need to stretch you up a bit more, baby. Damn, you got tighter without my cock deep inside you huh.”
You tried to stop Sungjin’s hands when you felt your release nearing. But he didn’t budge. He even picked up the pace and encouraged you to let go.
“Are you cumming, baby?”
You bit your bottom lip and nodded, unable to stitch words at the pleasure of having him between your thighs again.
“Words, baby. Use your words. Did you miss this? My hands and cock working on your pussy?”
“Sungjin—fuck, yes, I missed you and your cock inside me” you breathed and struggled to look him in the eye. “I missed you fucking me after classes.”
The memories of Sungjin fucking you in the most boring places brought you easily over the edge. In a few seconds, you are shaking uncontrollably and you felt your juices streaming out of your core deliciously.
Sungjin smirked as he leered at your pussy leaking out of cum. His hands didn’t cease its movements and continued to fuck you with his hands. Your whole body is almost quivering.
When he sensed you’re nearing your second orgasm, he grabbed his cock and positioned himself at your entrance. He coated himself with your juices before slowly pushing inside of you.
You stiffen for a short moment, trying to adjust to his size, and then slightly rolled your hips.
“I love you,” Sungjin whispered against your ear. “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated, this time against your lips, before bottoming out and sheathing himself inside you again.
You cried out in pleasure as he started to thrust into you harder and chased your orgasm.
Sungjin remained sheathed inside you even after shooting his load, his cock warming itself pretty nicely inside your pussy as he cuddled you on the bed.
Neither of you attempted to strike a conversation. You were not sure about him but the activity rendered you rather tired. A sound sleep while being cuddled would be much appreciated at that moment. Until you heard Sungjin sigh loudly. You looked over at him and saw his eyes being distant again.
“You have that look again,” you started slowly. You propped yourself in one arm, looked at him with adoration, and stroke his cheek. “Babe, you don’t have to tell me everything all at once. But please, don’t push me away. I love you and it’s hard for me to see you suffer on your own.”
He was fazed by the sadness in your voice. How could he ever deserve a girl like you? The last thing he wanted is to disappoint and burden you with his own problems and he thought at first he’s been doing a great job with it.  
Sungjin took a deep breath. He reached for your hand on his cheek and kissed it, bringing your torso against his once again. All the major problems that took the most space in his mind were spilled. He told you the pressure his family is bestowing upon him with the graduation and board exams around the corner and also their expectations for him to continue the business his father started.
You listened to his troubles. At that moment you knew you just needed to understand him, to try to perceive things in his shoes.
Sungjin isn’t the type of person who openly shares every little trouble he has as he’s afraid to burden other people. He believes everyone already has problems of their own and own demons to fight and dumping his worries could just add to that. But, oddly enough, hearing himself talk about it kind of helped to look at the situation again and evaluate his feelings and actions. As he continued to tell you his worries, he realized that it isn’t so bad to share the burden with your most trusted person.
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cafedanslanuit · 4 years
Note
would it be ok to ask for hcs of the main 6 + vaderwood and how they would react to their normally energetic and funny mc being a little off and making some self-deprecating jokes (like a little too dark to be funny) as a way of coping and hiding their anxiety/depression? if not thats ok im just in a similar mood today.
self-deprecating jokes are my thing too, tbh. hope you’re feeling better! Also, I couldn’t picture Vandy for this particular hc, I’m sorry :c
Yoosung
This boy honestly loves how fun you are. He will always laugh with you and you don’t tease him that much (Saeyoung does that for you)
One day, when he comes home from his job at the vet, he finds you calling for pizza. He lets you finish the call and then you look up.
“Hey, welcome back! I accidentally left the stove on for too long and messed up dinner” you casually said, with a small giggle. “So I called Pizza Hut, hope it’s okay”.
“It’s okay!” he says. “I love pizza”
“I know, me too” you smile. You stand up and stretch your arms. “Okay, so I’ll take a shower before it gets here. How the fuck did I forget the stove on, I don’t know” you laugh. “I swear to God I would totally leave me at this point”.
Yoosung says nothing, shocked. He watches you walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower. He knows you like to joke around, but that joke had been pretty specific. Leave you? Why would he leave you? Over some burnt food?!
He waits until you come out, wrapped in a towel and hands you a cup of your favourite tea. You smile weakly.
“An award for my awful cooking?” you tease him.
“Hey! It’s just food! And you solved it. I don’t really care, MC, please let it go”. He sees your lips tremble a little bit. “Are you okay?”
You had a really rough day at work. You tell him all about it while sipping on the tea and he silently listens to you, nodding at the right times. The pizza finally arrives and he puts on your favourite show so you both can watch it. When you go to bed, he makes sure to give you extra cuddles, so you never have to feel any more pressure on yourself.
Zen
Honestly, he’s not the best at comedy. But he really likes how much you can make yourself laugh with your own jokes.
He comes home and hands you his tablet. You arch an eyebrow and look at him from the couch. He sits beside you and asks you to press play. You nod and comply his request.
It’s a video from rehearsal. He’s singing at he’s actually hitting all the notes just right. You smile softly, watching the video in silence. When it’s over, you turn and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
“You’re amazing, babe. You did the song soooo good! How can you be so talented?”
“Thank you, babe. And I don’t know, can’t help it. I’m just talented.” he shrugs, with a confident smile.
“Well, someone has to be” you responded quickly. His smiled faltered and he looked at you, confused.
“What are you talking about? You are talented too. I’ve seen your drawings, those building projects you have been working on. They’re masterpieces, MC, I love them and–”
“I didn’t get the job, Zen” you quickly answer, not looking at him. “They didn’t like those ‘masterpieces’” you added, making the colons signs with his fingers.
Oh. So they had already sent you the email.
Zen would put the tablet aside and hold you on the couch. Whisper over and over again how talented you truly are and how they were in the wrong for not noticing it.
“If they can’t see how brilliant you are, why would you want to work for them?” he asked. “I’ve been rejected more times that I can count. I know how you feel. And you know what makes me feel better?”
You look at him and shake your head.
Ten minutes later, you’re both riding on his motorcycle, feeling the air against your face. you hug him tighter and smile.
Jaehee
Jaehee’s not one for jokes. But she does enjoy the occasional laugh she has with you. You make tons of jokes, but, unlike Saeyoung, you know when to stop
“Babyyyyyyyy, I’m a mess!” you complained, stretching on your bed. Both of you were working on your laptops, when suddenly you put yours aside.
“C’mon. Help me, Excel Goddess! Can’t seem to make this thing to work and I need to show it to my boss tomorrow” you asked. Jaehee smiled softly, put her laptop aside and grabbed yours. She started typing formulas, fixing your work.
“You’re so good to me, baby. Thank youuuu. That’s why you’re the smart one here”. Jaehee just smiled, continuing her work.
“They should have taught me Excel in school instead of sports. Did anyone of my class turn out to be an athlete? No one. Are we struggling to get a job because we don’t know shit about Excel? We are”.
“Maybe that’s why I’m failing. Maybe that’s why I had to settle with this shitty job, because I can’t comprehend the monster that in Microsoft Excel. Maybe that’s also why my Computer Science teacher hated me at school” you said dramatically. Jaehee chuckled softly.
“Maybe that’s why my whole life is a mess right now. Maybe that’s why I can’t find joy in the things I do anymore, maybe that’s why my father left us. Because I’m a shitty person who can’t do Excel and can’t get a decent job”.
She stopped typing and looked over at you.
“MC. What are you saying?”
“I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m tired. Don’t think about it too much”
“I-… Do you want me to talk to Mr. Han? Maybe there’s a position and… I know C&R takes most of my time but an entry level job may be good– at least for your resumé and–”
“I’m fine. Don’t think about it, baby” you dismissed, but Jaehee grabbed your hand.
“Can’t you really find joy anymore?” she asked. You sighed.
“Happens to me when the cold weather beggins. Will go away in a couple of weeks” you shrugged. Jaehee squeezed your hand.
“Let me know if I can do anything to help you… well, find joy again”.
“You do help!” you assured her. “I can find bits of joy here” you smiled and gave her a small kiss. She smiled and kissed you back.
Jumin
Jumin doesn’t understand most of your jokes. Most of the times, you have to explain them to him. He doesn’t mind, but it’s only because he really enjoys watching you laugh at your own jokes. The sight of you giggling it’s enough to light up any day.
That day, you decided to visit him during lunch. Which wasn’t a rare occurrence, you tried to visit him at least once a week, making sure with Jaehee you wouldn’t be interrupting.
“Good afternoon, my love. Didn’t expect you here” he greeted you, giving your cheek a tender kiss when you approached him. You gave him the bento you had prepared and sat in front of him, on the other side of his desk.
“I know. I just thought your darling, loving wife might make an appearence. I do have to keep those heiresses away from you” you laughed. He smiled softly and opened his bento. “Don’t want them making you change your mind about marrying some poor girl who couldn’t even afford university by herself”.
Jumin arched his eyebrow while eating his lunch. “Is there a problem with your classes? I thought you were excited about finally attending university, even if most of the classes are online for security reasons. Are the professors not competent enough? Are they not grading you fairly?”
You laughed. “No, Jumin, classes are fine. I just… Don’t really fit with your social class, you know. I mean, I knew I wouldn’t fit, but someday’s it really… just… I don’t know. You can put a working class girl in a Channel, but you can’t really change who she really is inside, right?” you smiled weakly.
Jumin furrowed his eyebrows, visibly upset. “What are you talking about?”
Your facade disappear and you sighed. You reached out for his hand and held it tighly.
“Please, don’t misunderstand me. I love you, I really do. Nothing can change that. But I can’t– I can’t pretend I don’t hear the whispers when I come here to have lunch with you. How I listen to them mocking these nice clothes you bought for me” you said, pointing at your light blue dress he had given you. “I don’t… I didn’t grow up with these things. I must look really dumb pretending to be part of a class I’m not”.
“Who made that comment?” he asks, angrily.
You try to cover it up, but after some pushing, you tell him it’s the secretary that works two offices away. She has a desk beside Jaehee’s. Jumin stands up, not stopping when you ask him to. He takes one step outside his office and spots the secretary you must be talking about.
“You’re fired. Assistant Kang, take care of that paperwork”.
Jumin returned to his office and locked the door. You can’t believe what just happened. He walks over to you and lifts up your chin with his hand, gently.
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you you don’t belong here. Or that you don’t deserve elegant clothes or anything I want to give to you. I know you didn’t grow up the same as me, but that’s why I love you. Because you didn’t look at me and saw my money or C&R, you looked at me. At who I was. Who I could be. I want to be the best man I can be, just for you. And I want to please you, giving you anything I can so you can enjoy life at its fullest. Also, look at you” he said, taking a look at your whole outfit. “You look breathtaking. You look classy, and it’s not just the dress” he smirked, kissing your cheek and making his way to your neck, leaving you a mess of giggles.
Saeyoung
Ok, so we all agree he’s the king of dark humour and self-deprecating jokes.
And he’s used to be like that around you and sometimes you make the same jokes and you both just laugh it out.
So that day, he doesn’t notice something’s off from the start.
He’s fixing the robot cat, since it had been malfunctioning. You’re reading a magazine  on the couch while he’s sitting on the floor, both of you talking on and off.
“One day you should teach me who to do that. You know, fixing stuff and such”
“I wil! But you’ll need to call me sensei during our lessons.”
“Sensei? Isn’t that japanese?”
“It is! I’ll be your sensei if you wish. But what do you want to learn to fix?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t want to be the dumb one of the relationship”
“Awww. But we make such a good pair~”
“Just because you haven’t got tired of me yet” you chuckle.
“How could I get tired of your cooking? Never!~ I swear my mouth waters just thinking about your waffles.”
You laugh. “That’s all I am? My cooking?”
“Well, also how clean you keep this, Ms. Vanderwood hasn’t been complaining as much as before” he teases you.
“Well, you know I have to keep this apartment clean and your stomach full. That’s why I’m here, right? Until you get tired of my stupidness” you chuckle.
Saeyoung looks back at you, stopping on his fixing of robo-cat. He’s not longer smiling.
“… You really think that? That I think you’re stupid?”
“Well… I’m no genius. I’m just one more secretary, I’m… c’mon. You’d have more fun with someone who’s just as smart as you. I’m just here… until my time’s done. I’ve accepted it long ago.”
Suddenly he’s over you, making you lay on the couch, pinning both your arms over your head.
“Stop! What? Stop, just stop, what are you even saying?! You are kind, compassionate, generous and the most beautiful soul I’ve ever seen. You stayed by my side when I was at my worst. You saw all parts of me and still loved me. I’m the one who isn’t worthy of someone as loving and forgiving as you. I– I could never. I could have never rescued Saeran without you. I could have never been happy or even think about real happiness if it weren’t for you. So honestly, what if you don’t know anything about computers or hacking? That doesn’t matter to me. It’s you and your heart. It’s always been about your loving heart, MC. Please, please don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ve loved you my whole life. Even before I met you. I just didn’t realize it.”
Your eyes water
damn, saeyoung i almost cried as well, you fucker
You both stay on the couch, holding each other until you fall asleep. He keeps whispering soft and warm words to your ear every now and then, making sure you never doubt yourself again.
Saeran
“i want to die” “same”
It’s so usual for you both to make dark jokes, he doesn’t really notice when it stops being a joke to you.
You’re both laying on the couch. You’re on top of him, resting your head on his chest. You can’t remember how it started, but you start joking around.
“Your girlfriend’s a mess, you know”
“She is. Have you seen her hair?” he teased.
“What the hell does she think she’s doing? Have you seen the way she dresses?”
“Total mishap. It’s like a match made in hell”
“And her voice? More like a screech” you laugh, making fun of your own voice.
“Will she ever shut up?” he sighed dramatically, smirking softly.
“Why does she think she actually make someone happy?” you chuckle. His smile disappears.
Saeran stays silent for a minute. “You’re not happy?”
are you not happy with him? has he already bored you out of your mind? are you having second thoughts about your relationship? because he’s been trying, he’s been seeing a psychologist and even though there still isn’t a big change, he— is it because there hasn’t been a big change?
“Well, you’re not” you replied in a small voice. “And I can’t– And I don’t how– Maybe it’s me?”
So, Saeran decides to try something he’s been talking about with his psychologist. Better now than ever, he thought.
“I love you”
You raise your head, looking at him in disbelief. He’s never said that before. When you started dating, he had kissed you and you had understood how it was hard for him to express feelings due to the severe trauma he had gone through, so you hadn’t pushed him but… Saeran was still looking at you, a tense expression on his face. You suddenly realized you hadn’t said anything back.
“I love you too”. You had said it before. You had told him that a million times, but it was the first time you said it back.
“I know it seems I’m not making progress– But I think I am? I mean, I just told you that, right?” he said, scratching his head, a little nervous. “He said we were going to work on expressing feelings, and it was easier to express the most intense ones.”
“Your most intense feeling– one of your most intense feelings is loving me?” you asked, still surprised.
“Shut up” he said, making you laugh for real this time.
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smoliboops · 4 years
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the egos as different (new who) incarnations of the Doctor: revisted
(havent written an analysis type of thing in a while, miss sharing ideas with people in general aha :’D)
originally 2am thoughts/concepts that i might draw aka revisiting the concept of the egos as different regenerations of the doctor (debate and additions are welcome):
schneeplestein- nine
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(first regeneration after the time war and as such major guilt and lonliness from being the sole survivor who also had to be the one to end it. this paralleling to schneep’s 9 month disappearance and his possible guilt resulting from the events of say goodbye and moreso kill jse (as well as schneep probably doing risky things in the name of stopping anti). other things including, sass, calling humans “stupid apes”, rational, angry sometimes, but can appreciate the ancient human music that is tainted love, saving their friend/companion and telling them to live a good life as they head off to face their longtime enemy,the pain you see on his face when he gets compared to said enemy (”you would make a good puppet dalek), bananas being good source of potassium)
chase- ten
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(is kind of a mess but a cool mess, generally the most emotional/human of the incarnations, starts off as a cool, charismatic type of guy but slowly goes downward into a spiral of sadness and lonliness as everyone he loved leaves (ya see the connection im getting at?), loses the girl he loved and missing the chance to tell her he loved her, ”im fine” he says as he just lost his best friend and is now alone standing in the pouring rain, accidentally quoting the lion king and harry potter but also “no second chances im that kind of man,” loves little shops and making things that go ding and silly made up words like “wibbly wobbly timey wimey”, literally Human Nature/Family of Blood shows how much he wanted a human life with a wife and kids and the episode "the doctor's daughter" where he finally gets a kid and loses her, the hero who goes from saving the universe with all his friends around him to him dying alone not wanting to go, literally called “the man that regrets” in dotd, listen to love don't roam on YouTube)
jj- eleven
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(the doctor with the most confusing timeline, child-like wonder and the look of a young lad hiding the tired eyes of an old man who has seen and gone through so much, very protective of his fond family/people he loves, he literally snuck into a charlie chaplin film in s6′s immpossible astronaut, also stayed in Victorian london for a time which would be jj's aesthetic tbh, can be silly and clumsy and starry-eyed while also being capable of becoming the oncoming storm, “ Good men don't need rules, today is not the day to find out why i have so many.”, great with kids, like weird/unique hatwear, b o w t i e s, g o g g l e s, just wants to go home even if it’s the long way round, “every lonely monster needs a companion” (you can’t tell me jj probably would still feel like a monster cos of how closely related he is to anti), and also theres puppets in two episodes of his, despite the darkness and loneliness it just made him kind, the optimist, the hoper of far flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams )
marvin- twelve
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(recognizing gender as a concept far beyond them obvs, he’s literally called a magician half the time lol, avoiding death by rocking out in the 1500s with an electric guitar on top of an army tank, “can you hurry up before i hit you with my shoe”, as a morally gray character that many theorize whether he’s good/bad, marvin relates well to twelve’s whole journey of questioning if he was a good man and willing to learn the extents of what that means, tried his best to not only do right but to try to help those who weren’t good people who he knew needed help, would fight robin hood irl with a spoon and have a sign saying “go away humans”, not totally great with social cues but he tries and that’s what counts, seemingly cold and harsh and grump but take time to know him and he’s actually warm deep down, "do you think i care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?", wiliing to "go to hell" for their friend, not only protective of the people he loves but is also willing to to things like repeatedly die over 8 billion years and almost cause the destruction of the universe for the sake of saving his friend, would sacrifice himself recklessly in the name of standing up for what he believed in)
jackieboy man-thirteen
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(total ray of sunshine who also recognizes the dangers of being close to them (i.e. dying, forgetting, getting trapped in another time or parallel world, getting converted and dying, etc) and as such keeps those they love at a distance, literally not talking about who they truly were for a whole series cos they didn't want to wrap their family up into their own troubles they faced, adorably socially awkward/anxious but still perseveres in the face of danger and certain doom, "darkness never sustains, even though sometimes it feels like it might," would build their own gadgets, g o g g l e s, would eat dirt and bone dust for analysis, would save the day by becoming best friends with a sentient universe in the form of a frog, always tries to have a flat team structure but in reality "this team structure...it isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me, in the stratosphere, alone, left to choose. Save jack the poet, save the universe. Sometimes, even i can't win.", P U N S)
Bonus content: anti as sacha Dawhan's master
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like *chefs kiss* (LITERALLY pretended to be the doctor's friend for years until revealing he actually killed him before she met him and took his place (that gif is him just throwing away that dude's minituraized dead body btw), the kneel scene, his s m i l e, maniacal g l e e as he destroys everything and kills people all to cover up the pain and sadness and anger he feels inside because of her *cough a piece of SPOILER being inside him and him not being able to stand it is definitely anti/jack vibes cough*, also imagine this small exchange but between jackieboy man and anti:
The doctor: "proud of yourself?"
The master: "Definitely."
The doctor: "all this death...Finally made you happy?"
The Master, smiling: "Ecstatic."
The doctor, closer to his face: "And has it calmed all the rage?"
The master, pausing and looking away: "...I don't think anything will ever do that."
Also pls watch that spyfall pt1 reveal scene (basically the whole ending tbh), again it's just *chef's kiss*
Ok that's enough blabbering from me. Still debating on drawing the egos as the doctor (ooh maybe a screen cap redraw would be fun if some people have suggestions for an ep to ref for each one (granted who knows if I'd have time to draw them all but I'm curious anyway lol)) ok time to head out *yeets*.
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x1protector · 5 years
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Chef!AU Wooseok
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Author’s note: chef au seungyoun exists, so why not,, -Admin V 🌻
p a i r i n g: wooseok au (extend for x gender neutral reader)
g e n r e: fluff; chef au; bullet au
w a r n i n g s: mild language
w o r d  c o u n t: 1k
Chef!AU Wooseok
Read Chef!AU Seungyoun here.
his face speaks model but his hands speak chef
a genius
won so many cooking awards since the age of 12 through the age of culinary school
if it was legal and safe enough to hold a knife before that he would have done it
Well-liked, well-admired, and graduated from a top culinary school with high honors and a stacked resume with fellowships and internships from all over the world
looks cold and intimidating in school, earned the nickname of ice prince by his schoolmates because they saw him in the freezer once and the reflection of his angled features on the glass door just sparks ethereal vibes
is an actual shy baby
Volunteers to teach at a local cooking school for children in his free time, goes around using baby-talk with little kids and giving them cool nicknames
“Teacher Wooseok is this how you flip the pan?”
“That’s correct, Egg Warrior!”
speaks in small font on a daily basis but not many knows bc he doesn't usually have the chance to speak
people get scared when he just looks at them, and only his real friends would know how sassy he is
Jinhyuk: hey can u pass me the salt
Wooseok: no because sodium kills your heart and I need a friend when I'm 60
doesn't like being tied down and prefers to travel for his work
recently got invited to work at a famous restaurant and only accepted because he heard the rival restaurant across is manned by cho seungyoun: his competitor in school
doesn't know why he cares so much but he just really wants to beat seungyoun
Junho: hyung are you sure you're not like,,,,,, in love with him--
Wooseok: do you value your employment?
looks cool as heck in the kitchen though and can do five times the workload of a regular chef
seems bossy but actually cares a lot about his team
will never admit he has a soft spot for anyone
let the team go home early sometimes bc he's "feeling tired" and not because he may or may not have seen junho dropped a pot and bruised his left foot of course not
Super cute when he's in a good mood, or when he’s drunk, goes around giving everyone creampuffs he made at home
When he’s not around everyone just refers to him as Seokseok because he’s such a babie, but no one dares tell him that he’s still their boss let’s be real
Except one time Dongpyo messed up and accidentally called him Seokseokie in the middle of rush dinner hour
Everyone: sh*t.
But Wooseok just moved on like nothing was out of the ordinary, he found out about the name a while back but kept quiet since he actually liked it
Dongpyo: /escapes death yet again!!!
spaces out a lot so Eunsang always has eye drops with him in case wooseok's eyes get dried up
have fought people/customer on sight for bullying his kids, especially the pompous ones who always think their palate is oh so refined and dissed the dishes and compared them to famous chefs abroad
Wooseok: the chef you’re mentioning learned this technique from me what do you mean refined palate my butt im gonna wACK--
Hyeongjun, to the customer: please leave now if you value your life!!!!
not allowed to leave the kitchen, usually to the amount of times he gets mistaken for a handsome college part timer
Honestly, just imagine Wooseok in a fitted white chef button down.. his hair held back by these clips Hyeongjun put on for him... jawlines that can fillet a fish--
When he does leave the kitchen tho, gets hit on by young rich people and middle aged people alike
Has a fan page endorsed by customers and employees of the restaurant, one of the many reasons the many floors of the place is always packed with people
Sneaks out anyway bc he likes seeing the joy on people's faces as they enjoy their food
just a soft baby pls protect
[extend for x reader]
You’re the other chef who volunteered at the little kids’ cooking school
Well, it’s less of a school and more of a recreation center’s cooking class, but Wooseok always refers to it as a school though b/c any sort of educational establishment is school to him
You’re honestly just a culinary student looking for more experience, and teaching seems really fun, especially when your little brother was in class
Speaking of which, he’s earned a nickname from the handsome volunteer the other day and he couldn’t stop saying it
“Egg Warrior! That’s me!!”
You: Wooseok we need to talk
Wooseok: (^∀^)?
You know he works at this really famous restaurant downtown, the one that may or may or may not have three dollar signs on yelp, but to you he just seems like a regular guy, unusually good-looking, but a regular guy nonetheless, and you didn’t feel the need to treat him differently as you would anyone else
Wooseok really appreciates you for that
He’s used to praises from everyone, but not a day goes by when he doesn’t feel the awkwardness or uncomfortableness from people besides his staff
It was the same in school, and perhaps that was why he didn’t make many friends
And why he’s so adamant about wanting to beat Seungyoun, he was one of the only friends Wooseok had in that battlefield of a kitchen at school
It didn’t help that you reminded him so much of Seungyoun
Wooseok: so um,,, there’s an event at my workplace today and um,,, do you wanna,,,
[ten years later]
You: yes? and?
Wooseok: do you wanna come with me i mean i’ll be cooking for our guests but do you wanna um come,,, help me but if you’re busy that’s fine foRGEt i asked i’ll just--
You: sure
Wooseok: what
You: do we go after class or should I meet you somewhere?
Wooseok is jumping in his head but on the outside he’s like YEah we can go after class we’ll just take my car no biggie
Tbh he talks about you so much at work everyone knows your name and favorite food and probably your birthday wooseok is limitless when it comes to crushing on you
Dongpyo when he finally takes you to meet his staff: omg finally
The event was a success, and you got to see him looking so c00l at work honestly what a man
Afterward he took you out for ice cream and dropped you off at home by 10
Your little brother the egg warrior: if you’re dating does that mean you’re the egg royalty?
Wooseok: maybe? (〃´∀`) are you?
You: Kim Wooseok you’re on thin ice
Read Chef!AU Seungyoun here.
–Admin V🌻
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pisces-mars · 4 years
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a taurus take on the signs + some other stuff idk
aries: y'all are so AGGRESSIVE but that's chill, just like don't physically hurt anyone bc they probs don’t deserve it? idk maybe they do huh also when u start a fight w someone maybe ask if it’s worth it? idk u vertically have the energy to fight forever but i don't want u to feel tired :(
taurus: imagine going out of the house when u could just stay at home n watch netflix w a cuddly blanket, tbh idk why other signs say our stubbornness is a bad thing ? can be overly materialistic tho s o. my fellow taurus, pls do ur assingemtn or work or ur essay or ur cooking A WEEK BEFORE ITS DUE sTOP P R O C R A S T I N A T I N G that is almost 100% not spelt right oop.
gemini: idk y'all are pretty tight but from what i see y'all don't like commitment? fucking party animal tho. tbh the two-faced things kinda right, but it goes both ways,,,, some of y'all will spill ur guts wo prompting but others will keep that secret til ur dead i don't make the rules. also yk its okay to be sad, its okay to not be happy n joyful, its okay to not know what ur gonna do with ur life, u don't need to know everything even tho it might feel that way.
cancer: y’all low-key whiney but ur super caring so it’s okay, biggest mum friend pls don't kill me when u get mad, gives me kawaii pastel vibes, do yall actually love the beach ? or is that not a cancer thing ? also. yall care so much but make sure the person who ur giving all ur time and energy is worth it, u need to look after u, not after them.
leo: FUCK YEAH y'all just aren't afraid to express urself n dc about what others say n that's a vibe the rest of the zodiac should be aiming for, idk ive see leos cheat on a board game n called them out n also drop a kid into a pool n then BLAME the kid :/ but yk ur still living ur best life so. also also, ur chill n stuff but make sure ur not always making urself into the victim pls
virgo: y'all are just *chefs kiss* perfectionism is a lil much sometimes but y'all are still great, remember to take care of urself <3 ligit tho y’all could probs defiantly do w some hugs n affections . only thing i could maybe say about y'all is that its okay to not want to do what ur friends want? its okay to have ur own ideas n its defs okay for u to not put up with other peoples bs!!!!! u could literally belittle them into a small pile of broken shards but u don't n that makes u strong !
libra: mAKE UP YOUR MIND PLS, also ur super diplomatic which is good but also like idk how u can live wo ever having something ur way? maybe u don't but like. also. idk stop feeling bad about getting angry, its a human emotion, i think ud value a friendship w an aries
scoripo: ur so deep n so privet, i respect that also ur HUMOUR will KILL me from LAUGHTER also ur sarcasm is >>>>> ur so cool n u would ligit cut someone so FAST n that pretty sick man, n also I think that having someone care about you wouldn't be the worst thing yeah? also idk if this is a myth abt ur sign or not but if y'all are rushing into things maybe you'd benefit from taking it more slowly?
sag: fucking CRACKHEAD y'all but also ur stories are BOMB pls take me on ur next trip to that exotic place pls take me on ur next adventure to that place w those people. u have so much cool shit going on, but pls remember u don't always need to be happy, being sad is okay, in fact its good bc u need to feel ur emotions in oder to overcome them yk? u don't gotta pretend to be happy n opening up to people can help u sometimes <3
cap: i cant even will y'all, i love u sm ur the fucking best like pls get me a cap man that's all I want p l s. ur literally so dedicated to ur work n u seem super caring n compassionate, if u can do it while still feeling okay u should take some time to talk to ur friends n maybe have a day off work or ur projects to look after u, take a leaf from taurus yk?
aqua: idk ig u have pretty good sense of humour but istg if another one of y'all makes a fucking comment about my im gonna cry then how u gonna feel huh. u guys are cool n idk u seem to have humanitarian ideals n stuff but personally ive never seen that, would it maybe be okay if u were a bit less idk, obsessed w being the smartest in the room? u don't have to prove urself to be intellectually superior yk?
pisces: babies, but y'all do cry a lot but im also technically a pisces dom so im w u on that :,) sTOP MANIPULATING EVERYONE  but y'all also got that like,,, cutie pie stuff going on. y'all. are. not. anyones. personal. therapist. you don't have to help anyone w their problems!!!!! especially if it takes away from u !!!!!!!!! u. are. important !!!!!!!!
this got longer than expected oop
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sevenseasofrog · 5 years
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Lads ‘n Lasses Chapter 3
Pairing- highschool!ben x fem!reader
Summary- single sex schools are never boring
Word Count- 1,467
a/n- sorry this ones only short, as I’ve said though, the next chapter is a little juicier, it’ll be up later next week :) hopefully y’all like it though !!❤️❤️
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As ever, September crawled by painfully slowly, with each student rebuilding the exhausting school routine for yet another year. For most of the other girls in your school, they started their day with a steaming mug of coffee or loose leaf tea. Your day however started with a real mug, who stood outside your door at 7:15 each morning waiting for you to stumble out. For the pair of you, coffee came later on in the process.
It would be fair to say that you had never bonded with someone quite so quickly as you had with Ben. The walks to school were no longer quiet and solemn as they once had been, and the walks home from school had you reaching your house with even more energy than you had at the start of the day. The pair of you had clicked into place almost immediately after first meeting each other, and it had become an extremely rare occurrence to see one of you without the other outside of school hours. You were most gracious when your friendship group welcomed him with open arms, a little. nervous at first that they wouldn’t want the new boy to cause a commotion. Him and Lewis became equally great friends, and it was nice knowing that he had friends at school too. The pair were hilarious to watch when they were together, mainly because they were polar opposites. There was Ben, short blonde hair, piercing green eyes, perfectly symmetrical face, very athletically built and a little shorter than the rest of the boys in his year; and then there was Lewis, long and lanky, often nicknamed Stretch by others, deep brown eyes, mousey brown bowl cut and slightly wonky teeth. The two boys couldn’t have been more different if they tried, but being able to call them your friends was one of the greatest privileges.
Things had moved quickly since the start of the new term, and you were working tirelessly to complete coursework in school simply so you didn’t have to do it at home, luckily, the free periods you had after lunch were becoming increasingly useful now the workload had gotten heavier. It was equally convenient that your friends were in a similar mindset, which meant that the time you had after school wasn’t spent alone. Making the most of the autumn warmth, the five of you would often head down to the park where you would lie contently until someone’s parents rang, instructing them to come home, at which point you would all leave. Maria and Lewis would step off the tram first, then Niamh a few stops later, once again leaving you and Ben alone for the rest of the journey home.
“You coming back to mine for a bit then?” You asked, looking up from your bag, in which you were searching for the pack of chewing gum you knew was floating around in there somewhere.
“Don’t have any reason not to, Mum and Dad are away on business until Sunday night anyway.” You felt yourself frown a little, today was Thursday, and to you it seemed a little unfair for Ben’s parents to leave him alone for a good chunk of the week, especially since you had become aware that this happened more often than not.
“D’ya wanna come round to mine tomorrow though? only seems fair really, your parents will start confusing me as one of their own otherwise” Ben had a gleam in his eyes and you let out a scoff.
“Go on then, I’ll check later yeah?”
Dinner was practically on the table by the time you and Ben reached the house, and it wasn’t long before you had both finished and we’re making your way upstairs. As ever, you flopped down onto your neatly made duvet, and Ben parked himself on the spinning office chair which was by your desk.
“I’m. So. Tired.” You dragged out each syllable for emphasis.
“Nah, you’re not the one doing laps of a field each day”, Ben replied with a smirk, stretching his arms above his head.
“That’s because I love myself dipstick.” You spoke back, giggling to yourself a little.
“Don’t be a bitch! I carry the whole bloody rugby team at the moment!”
“Sure you do… What would we do without our knight in shining armour to score all the tries in a match no one realllyyy cares about”, you both rolled your eyes at each other before Ben could slide in another sarcy comment.
Believe it or not, you enjoyed moments like this, you were both being yourself and there was no one else there to tell you to pack it in. Time you spent with Ben always went a little too quickly for your liking however, since you would both spend hours talking, it was easy to lose track of how late it was.
“Shit! it’s half-nine!”
“Are you joking?” You asked, genuinely shocked
“Unfortunately not”, Ben spoke as he sprang up from next to you on the bed and began to pick up his bag and put his jumper back on for the journey back to his house. You walked down the stairs with him and to the front door where you gave a quick hug before yawning.
“See you tomorrow Jonsey”
“y/n l/n.” He paused “We both know we’ll be talking on the phone in like 20 minutes so don’t get too ahead with yourself, aight?”
“You got me there!”, You three your arms up in defeat, “Now please piss off so I can go to bed!”
Ben gave one last grin before turning and heading down the gravelled path of your otherwise green driveway, you watched him walk to the corner of the dimly-lit road before shutting the front door and trudging up the stairs back to your room for the night.
When Ben said you’d be talking again shortly, he really wasn’t lying, and it hadn’t been half an hour before your phone began to buzz uncontrollably.
The bois and the gorls: 3 New Messages
Prince Ben of the South joined the chat
Prince Ben of the South:
Gooooooooooood eveeeeninggggg everyoneeeee
Nev joined the chat
Nev:
What.
Dear Maria Count Me In joined the chat
Dear Maria Count Me In:
Hello??
You joined the chat
Le Artiste:
Wassup
Prince Ben of the South:
Lewissss ??
Where are you my beany friend ??
Le Artiste:
What dya want jonsey
Long Boy joined the chat
Long Boy:
At your service
Prince Ben of the South:
Right
K
So
Not sure if you all care but basically I just got a message from the team group chat and there’s gonna be a halloween shout at some point in the holidays so do yall wanna be my plus four or na?
Nev:
Nice one mateee
Le Artiste:
Oooooooo
Long Boy:
One question my noble companion
Costumes?
Prince Ben of the South:
oh you know it ;)
Dear Maria Count Me In:
Omg yes
Le Artiste:
Im sold
Long Boy:
Don’t see why not ?
Prince Ben of the South:
We should SO do a group thing
Nev:
Fuck off
Dear Maria Count Me In:
Oooooooo, acc that’s quite a good idea
Long Boy:
Only if y/n is in charge of what we wear
Le Artiste:
So im a fashion designer as well now ???
Prince Ben of the South changed your name to Coco Channel
Nev:
Evidently, u better make me look HOT tho
Coco Channel:
of course bby ;)
Dear Maria Count Me In:
Is that that then ??
I can sleep now ??
Prince Ben of the South:
You are all free to go :)
Nev left the chat
Dear Maria Count Me In left the chat
Long Boy:
Not until i know how much of a prick ill look at this thing
What am I wearingggg
Coco Channel:
Gimmie a sec ive had like 3 seconds to think
Prince Ben of the South:
Steady on lhewees
Give the gal a chance
Long Boy:
If this isnt good then ill sue
Coco Channel:
Anything for u dear
Long Boy left the chat
Prince Ben of the South:
I have no problem believing that
Btw if u make me look silly then ill never forgive u
Coco Channel:
Im quite sure u wont tbh
Prince Ben of the South:
Cya in like 10 hours g
Coco Channel:
Bye stinky :)
Prince Ben of the South left he chat
You gave a tired sigh before placing your phone down on your bedside table and flicking off the lamp next to it, as you pulled the crisp duvet up to your ears, wondering what on earth you had just signed up for.
There was one thing you knew for certain however.
This was bound to be good.
Very good indeed.
tags(if you want tagging in future chapters lemmie know !!) - @fatbottomedbitch , @crazyweirdocalledfriday , @disaster—bisexual , @seedless-vascular , @annoyedsloth , @borhapandshawn , @prettysureimgayxo
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ohcxssidy · 5 years
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HI babies i’m kristin and i’m so excited to be BACK bc i love veritas w my whole entire heart and?????? wow. i’m sick and got sent home early from work because of it so i’m a tired binch but i’m here and ready 2 party. i meant to have an insta graphic and playlist done but,,,,,, yikes. so maybe i’ll post those later. if you’d like to plot (or keep with the old plots we had for old members) give this a LIKE or give me a message on here or discord!!!!
stats page // connections page // pinterest board
the basics!
full name: cassidy turner skeleton: the influencer age: 21 major: musical theatre clubs: theatre, campus media (photographer), campus radio job: waitress at giovanni’s
the rest
tw: mentions of death, depression, alcohol
sO cassidy is the oldest of five kiddos. she’s got a twin brother that she’s older than by ten minutes, a half brother (13), and two half sisters (15 and 11)
cass and her twin brother were born in ashmont, ct to rebecca turner and an unknown man (to the twins anyway). their mom always claims it was a fling. he was a musician, and he had left before she found out she was pregnant.
so here you have a 20 year old suddenly now raising twins on her own. she actually did pretty well for the most part and raised her kids to be gr8
cassidy doesn’t ever TRY to be bitter abt it but sometimes it just,,,, happens??? and she hates herself for it bc he didn’t know but how do u leave a pregnant lady on her own idk
when the twins were four, their mom met a  man and eventually married him!! they had three kids over the next few years, which now upped the kiddo count to 5 and they were one big happy family!!!
tbh cass saw him as her father, since he was around from when she was really young, and he was a big part of her life growing up
around this time she met daisey and the two became fast friends!! they spent basically every day together throughout their childhood (more on that later)
but THEN, tragedy struck (bc why would i let my muses be happy who do u think i am)
when cassidy was 15, her step father unexpectedly passed away, and the family was left without any direction. they didn’t have a lot of money to begin with, but now one income to feed six people was not an easy task.
with the combination of grieving, money stress, and probably fear,  her mother fell into a deep depression, finding a coping mechanism through booze. she lost her job along the way, and slowly the money that was left was fading fast.
cass and her twin brother basically took that as a sign that they needed to take responsibility to keep their family alive, so they immediately took up any jobs they could find, just to keep money coming in.
most of their paychecks went into a bank account that would help the kids get by, since their mother didn’t do much of anything to help anymore.
this situation really tore up cassidy’s relationship with her mom, and most of what she feels is resentment and anger towards her mother, even though her brother doesn’t have that same opinion.
around this same time, her friendship with daisey started to fall apart, quicker than she would have imagined. it was a natural drift, coming apart due to daisey’s increasing popularity and cassidy’s lackthereof. nothing was malicious, which made it even tougher. she still misses that friendship sometimes, despite what others say about the girl.
throughout high school, cassidy worked her hardest to get high grades, because she knew that without a scholarship she wouldn’t be able to afford college otherwise.
she hardly got anything below an A, was involved in everything club that she could, and graduated as the salutatorian. she worked hard enough to receive enough scholarship money to cover most of her cost in school.
she’s currently in her final year as a musical theatre major!!!! she’s a nerd abt it too don’t open up a conversation about theatre unless u wanna lose a few hours
(here’s where i start pulling things directly from  my app so they’re getting longer)
cassidy has been involved in so many creative arts let me tell u. she discovered her first love in theatre at seven years old, which was soon followed by singing and dance lessons within the year. throughout the next decade, her love for the performing and the visual arts only grew over time, and some new passions were also discovered.
she also found that she had a talent in photography and writing when she was in high school after a friend convinced her to sign up for the yearbook. what started as just a way to gain another credit and add to her college applications turned into a passion that she would continuously want to pursue. it wouldn’t be her career, but she’d always find a way to keep doing it.
because of these passions, it was no surprise that cassidy would take to social media as another creative outlet. what started out as just posting videos from theatre performances on youtube began to grow into something more, and before she knew it, she was a recognizable name on the platform. she hadn’t planned on becoming an internet personality, but  now that she has, she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
cassidy has been actively posting videos on youtube for about three years now (essentially since starting college), and her channel currently has about 120 thousand subscribers. her channel mainly focuses on theatre related content, vlogs, advice, and a handful of videos related to bullet journaling and challenges.
a lil hc- cass’ channel is basically a  mix of katherine steele and jenna marbles
she also has a pretty strong following on instagram, so she’s all abt aesthetics and making her page always look neat and pretty
cassidy can be described as a walking advice column disguised as a mom friend. she is incredibly warm and welcoming, (which can even be seen in the clothes she chooses to wear), and she always has a kind word or smile to give anyone that crosses her path on a day to day basis.
she has been known in the past to strike up a conversation with a stranger, just because she liked their shirt, or they share the same coffee order. if someone comes up to her on the street needing advice, she’ll give it to them in a heartbeat, even it’s a simple “dump him”. she’d probably give you the shirt off her back if you asked her nicely (pls ask nicely)
she doesn’t like to make a habit of sharing some of the deep dark past things that were mentioned earlier, mainly because of how many of her classmates come from money. because of this, she’s never truly felt like she fit in amongst the wealthy community that attends and surrounds the university. she’s always trying to fit in with her peers, but nothing ever seems to be enough.
ever since the news of daisey’s disappearance, cassidy has truly been at a loss for words, or even thoughts. for almost fifteen years of her life, there had hardly been a day where cassidy  wouldn’t see daisey’s face, even in passing between classes after their friendship ended. since then, she still looks for her as she walks around campus, as if the whole thing was a dream, and daisey rutherford is still around and running st. etienne university.
okAY now its time for some lil fun facts and hcs!!
stans john mulaney don’t @ me
cries all the time bc a bitch is fuLL of emotions lskfjsldk. soft commercial? tears. she’s happy? crying. she saw a dog on the street?? grab the tissues. she’s a mess
her style varies but she always keeps a jacket or sweatshirt in her bag bc she’s cold a lot but also comfort™
started working in campus radio her freshman year just to try it out but now she rlly loves it!!!!!
has been in a ton of shows throughout her childhood. if you feel like looking at a mild shitpost i made for her, check out cassidy’s theatre resume (which is normal until the bottom)
honestly? just wants to give everyone hugs
this is so long im tired the end
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jackrackhams · 5 years
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twdg take us back thoughts (forgive me if any of this is out of order, i’m doing this from memory)
-the game took 10 minutes to download and those were a wild ten minutes i’ll tell you that -right off the bat i was worried clem was gonna get bit -i tried to shoot lilly at first, then i saw it didn’t work and wished her well. that’s just my s1 lilly fan’s final breaths of air right there -LOUIS SAVED MY LIFE THANK YOU I’M SORRY ABOUT YOUR TONGUE -god louis’s little smile though oOF -VI I LOVE YOU -THE OTHER KIDS ARE ALIVE -vIOLET INITIATED KISS!!!! (adding a read more bc this got LONG)
-uhhhh i’m pretty sure i’m not the only one who was left with some post-ep3 lilly vibes with minnie. like fuck u for expecting some kinda redemption arc with any character we are going to make them go Batshit the next episode -like i really thought we’d be able to help her or something when she was fighting off those walkers. i mean i get she was totally brainwashed but c’mon man. she’s a kid. but fuk that ig -walker james man. i sorta justified not going back and killing lilly last ep by saying this was what james would’ve wanted (also it’s my playthrough i do what i want), and now that i know what happens if you do save him uhhhhhhh.... i’m glad i made the choices i did tbh! it’s what james would’ve wanted. -i spent so long in that cave looking for “something to light on fire” -i decided to trust aj. i figured a) that could possibly save my life (it didn’t lol), b) it would make him feel good about himself, and c) i’ve taught him pretty well up to now so i trust him. -MEETING UP WITH VIOLET AND OUR LITTLE FAMILY HUG WOW CAN I JUST SAY THAT SHIT’S THE GOOD SHIT -i low key wish i’d named the school castle violet, but i figured it was more important to give her the choice. texas two squad, gang gang -fighting minnie on the bridge i was thinking ‘ok minnie’s gonna get a lot of shit for this lol’ -speaking of Bridge Scene, that shit was INTENSE if nothing else -like SHIT -when minnie cut me, i thought ‘oh fuuck, something’s gonna bite that’ -i also thought ‘hey clem’s gonna have a big leg scar to match her big arm scar’ but i was wrong about that lmao -i’ve never been more stressed that someone was gonna bite me than in this ep lmao -i also thought the scene from the trailer where you try to grab aj’s hand was gonna be here on the bridge, not on the rocks -oof when tenn died i was upset, but i feel more secure in that than if it were violet who died. only because that was tenn’s choice, and tenn was another person, like james, who had seemed to make peace with the walkers in a way. plus he died with his sister, which seemed to be what they both wanted at the time. that’s not so say that i wish i could’ve saved him without killing vi (or louis), but i do feel satisfied with what i got here (rip tennessee, you were a cool kid) -and then vi jumps over a fence ok bye violet -climbing up the rocks, i knew this was when it was gonna happen. but still. i cried lol -when i uncovered the bite, i was reminded of the s2 game mechanics. oof -as soon as she was bitten i said ‘you have an axe! cut it off now! do it!’ and when they didn’t i died -the next bit was reminiscent of lee making his way to the marsh house in s1 -actually, clem’s limp reminded me of a new day when lee got into that car crash lol -and when clem and aj were closing the doors to the barn and clem said to get something to block the door, i was expecting her to continue and say something like ‘something strong and sturdy’ like lee said when they were blocking off the pharmacy in s1 bc that scene gave me strong pharmacy vibes -and then strong jewelry shop vibes bc why tf not -playing as aj. that was rough. he’s FAST tho oml -that was when i went ‘ok so clem is dying for real’ and cried a lil bit more cuz you know me -switching between clem and aj. DUDE that got me so emotional -also aj using clem’s trick (that used to be jane’s trick). GO KIDDO -seeing clem looking more and more dead fuckt me up (like how did she get from that to the end of the ep i don’t get it. like even if it was because she waited shorter to cut it off or because it was her leg rather than her arm or what. it doesn’t matter because by the time lee looked like THAT his arm was (determinantly) long gone. but hey, not gonna analyze it too much lol i’m just glad my girl clem’s alive) -okay when clem was talking to aj that also got me crying -and when i told aj to leave clem, i was thinking ‘okay, maybe she’ll link up with james. or tenn, but like hopefully not minnie at this point. and lEE maybe she’ll find lee. or luke. or her parents-’ -and then he picks up that ax and i was like ‘woa ok did you just kill her??’ -and then the flashback. lemme be real and say i thought that was the afterlife or something, and that those floaty specks were Afterlife Dust -but then i remembered ‘oh right the ranch’ -lemme just say i didn’t think the ranch was gonna look like that lol -not 100 percent on what was going on at the ranch tbh -like who were those people and why did we kill all of them? one would assume that clem would first try to get aj back peacefully -oh wait they were at war right -also i really liked the design of like all of those people -and the LAVA GUY HOLY SHIT -obviously i mercy killed him -also wait, was clem with the people they were fighting? i couldn’t tell -ALSO also, was. was that eddie? from 400 days? checking the wiki real quick -yea i think that was him. rip eddie you didn’t deserve That. i mean i was happy he was back nd then we were just forced to kill him oof sorry man -felt bad about killing that woman also, but hey, she had aj in a tiny locker, so i didn’t feel super bad about it after finding him -also lemme just say -little kid aj?? -SUPER CUTE OML -he’s like the perfect mix of anf aj’s face and tfs aj’s face. kudos to whoever designed little aj -also when clem was talking with him in the car. i felt like it was sort of unrealistic little kid talk, but not so much that it distracted from anything going on -never go alone god rule number one had me crying -and then we’re aj fishing! -i didn’t catch any fish as aj lol -also i LOVE how they changed the dialogue options for aj to be a lot more childlike if that makes sense? like fuck yeah that was a really nice call -ROSIE IM SO GLAD YOU’RE OK -i didn’t scratch out the v+m heart because it’s history, and it’s not mine to scratch out. same reason i didn’t make clem spit on marlon’s grave -CLEM’S HAT GET IT -GET IT GET IT -OH GOOD GIRL ROSIE YOU’RE A GOD -oh a walker -oH THAT’S A TENN WALKER SHIT -well i’m not gonna kill him Again -also i don’t want the other kids to have to see him -i was so glad when i got the option to throw the rock -he learned from james what a good boy -RUBY HI -god ruby’s the best lmao -my thoughts when they’re talking about the hat ‘...aj hasn’t put it on... they haven’t talked about clem in the past tense.... is she.... possibly.... not dead?’ -lmao and when the next scene started, the trees + sky reminded me of the st john’s dairy and i wondered if we had another lee dream or afterlife or something but nope -is this take us back?? -hOLY SHIT IT’S TAKE US BACK!!! -okay and walking home, seeing everyone. god i was so sjfsakjfa there -like when i saw aasim run up to ruby i was all !!! and when they held hands i was all !!!!!!!!! yknow?? and then when i saw omar and WILLY and then on the gate there was VIOLET (i was so glad she was ok lmao the last thing i wanted for my girl was an offscreen death) god that was so good with the music i was crying a little again -need to make another bullet to stress how happy i am for ruby and aasim. like i would’ve been happy either way but they were portrayed as such a cute couple in the few seconds we got of them, so like. consider me a fan now i guess -i was worried for louis at first cuz i didn’t see him -i thought maybe this was the end of the game because we closed the gate and stuff and i was thinking ‘oh, like closing the story’ but NOPE -sup omar. up and cooking again i see -lmao my sleep-deprived brain found it hilarious that we just put the empty bucket down next to him -uhh what came next the graves or clem?? i forget -WAIT IT WAS THE GRAVES BECAUSE THE TIRE SWING WHICH IS SO CUTE AHH -well tenn’s grave made me :( but then CLEM -so glad my hunch that she was alive was right lmao -but also i thought that was determinant it was a lot less satisfying when you realize that no matter what she lives -i mean i get why they did it like that, they didn’t want anyone feeling left with the “bad ending”, their thing is that their games are tailored to how you play and there IS no bad ending but still. a little variation on that front would’ve made it a lil more satisfying -also where did they get those crutches -i love talking as aj. so much. -he’s just a funky lil guy! -that convo with clem on the steps, when she asked if she did a good job... like FUCK YEAH you did a good job, I’M YOU, you think i’m not happy with how i raised me?? -aj saying ‘are you crazy’ when clem asked that made me smile -okay i know ppl have been saying this. but. siblings aasim and willy rule. -and then the meal!! -i was super hoping for a card game but what we good was good. not great, but good. also, card game as aj would probably not be quite as fun. or it’d be very fun. honestly, it’d probably just be a different kind of fun. -when we panned over the table i saw a flash of louis and i went all ‘louis!!’ in my head -louis’s little note sadfasf that was so cute -and honestly everything about louis in this scene i love you louis -actually, just this whole scene was cute. willy and omar were adorable, and then ruby, and willy asking for seconds, and everyone just being Soft in general like. yall deserve this happiness -vi and clem talking Strategy dude sign me up -i love how clem trusts aj now. and i trust aj too tbh, a lot more than i did initially. i think i taught him pretty well. -violet and aj duo let’s go -slightly worried abt that caravan that was mentioned, but hey. the game left off on a high note, so NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO THEM EVER. YOU HEAR THAT?? -vIOLET INITIATED KISS PART TWO!!!!!! CHEEK KISS EDITION!!!!!!!! IM SOFT!!!!!!!!!! -okay that hallway with the snb team’s names all over the walls?? dude oof. they worked so hard it made me so happy to see their mark on texas two -haha texas two -ANYWAY -obviously i looked at all the collectibles i had, AND pet rosie, because i knew that when i ran out of things to do, the game would be over, and who wants that? -aj: *places human skull* *looks at animal skull* wow clem really likes skulls -kiddo i hate to break it to you but -seems like you’re taking after her in that regard -good girl rosie -lmao aj and his magic powers -it’s like louis in a box -hanging up james’ walker mask made me :(( -he is watching over you aj. and he would like that -ok guys i am BEGGING you. if you haven’t already, PLEASE repeatedly click disco broccoli until you can’t anymore. it’s great. -and then i finally had to put down the hat -”thank you for playing” GOD THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME -I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SERIES IS OVER -I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SAYING GOODBYE TO CLEM -i mean i still have my louis route BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME AS A FRESH EPISODE YKNOW?? OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS: -FIRST OFF I JUST FOUND OUT VI CAN GO BLIND -honestly im in favor of that i rly like blind violet au and now it’s not au -rip her eye honestly -new tag to match my rip louis’ tongue -also i left violet feeling loved FUCK yea i did i love violet -OKAY ACTUAL THOUGHTS -looking at this episode afterwards, is it just me or is it a little... lacking? like, a little off? i mean obviously it’s good in the moment, super intense, but there were just a few things that make me feel like it’s the weakest of the season -also lmao i guess fuck minnie james and lilly, their storylines all felt kinda like a middle finger to their fans if that makes sense -but holy shit was that minnie stuff haunting. like HOLY SHIT -also, for a game that’s been focused a lot around clem’s interactions with the other characters, there was a lot... less of that in this episode. no card game, barely any interaction with anyone other than louis/violet, tenn, minnie, aj, and james. and two of those people are fighting you. one of them is even determinant. i was just expecting a little more on that front, because this season’s been really good with that sorta thing -also i would’ve loved a little more time with violet/louis. but that’s just a personal thing and not necessarily a problem lol -again, i feel like it would’ve been a little more satisfying for clem to survive if there were an option where she didn’t. but again again, i totally get why they didn’t go that route -in that vein, i’d really enjoy a little more time with the person who wasn’t on the bridge with you. i miss my boy louis :( -idk there’s just something a little off about this episode. -that’s not to say i didn’t love it (because i TOTALLY did just look at all that stuff above haha) -like i know i didn’t love the minnie part, but like i said, that shit was INTENSE -i can sorta see why they went that route -and i can’t speak for living!james but walker!james was oddly peaceful to see. like, there was a feeling of ‘this is what he would’ve wanted’ -and okay i loved the violet initiated kisses. so much. -also ruby and aasim that was pretty cute -and obviously im happy clem isn’t dead that’s always great -OH and i loved the scene with the snb team’s names on the walls. like that was so good. -finally, the end scene was so satisfying. it ended the series the right way. with clem’s hat :p
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