“ Oh, I'm just... I'm just used to it... I wasn't allow to eat with my siblings, always with my father and his council, so I suppose it became an habit... plus I doubt Nate and Cally would want me to eat with them anyway. ” – Malachai to Yasmeen after she asked why he was eating alone when Nathaniel and Calypso were eating together
Yasmeen had been surprised when she walked into the church to see Malachai there. Not because he didn't belong there - she spent more time in that place with him than alone, lately - but because, when he left after their training session, she assumed it was to go eat with his siblings. So it was even more surprising to see a bit of food packed in the bench next to him. When she asked him why he wasn't eating with the others, she didn't except this answer. She thought this through for a moment, and then decided to sit down.
❝Why wouldn't they want you to eat with them? They practically worship you.❞
❝I can be too serious for them, sometimes. A bit of a mood breaker.❞
Yasmeen didn't think he was a mood breaker. She actually always felt better when she was with him. But she understood what he meant. Calypso and Nathaniel had a very care-free nature. They liked to laugh and make jokes and talk a lot. Malachai wasn't like that. Still, Yasmeen didn't think the two youngest would mind Malachai's presence. But she kept it to herself, judging it wasn't her place to talk for them.
❝Why weren't you allowed to eat with them?❞
He looked away and stayed silent. She didn't push. Privacy was important to her. If he wanted to keep that part for himself, she would accept that.
Instead, he unpacked his food and gave her a fork. She did pause on the fact that he had two forks ready, but blamed it on royal customs and their habit to use way more cutlery than necessary (a side effect of not doing the dishes, she supposed).
She shook her head. ❝Thank you, but I can't eat with you. I can only eat the food from the changeling quarters.❞
❝Why? Because you shouldn't eat luxurious food? It's stupid.❞
❝No, because this food isn't made for humans.❞
He paused a second. ❝Is it true what they say then? That it binds you to the land?❞
❝Not exactly. But it can drive you mad. Making you see whatever they want you to see, and trap you forever. It's different for everyone.❞
❝Better not try your luck then.❞
❝I did.❞
She realized, when she said this, that she had been unfair with Malachai. He had confied in her many times before, but she didn't. Not truly. She was overly cautious and wary, and even when she started warming up to him, she tried not to say too much about her past. He had asked, but she always diverted the questions, so he stopped asking. She loved that clear respect of her privacy. But he was still curious, she could see it in his eyes right now. And somehow, she felt like giving him a part of herself.
❝I was young. Well, kind of. I tried to join the human world, but I was stuck in the enchanted forest and it was a true disorienting maze. I was starving, and I ate a few berries. Worst mistake of my life. My mind wasn't my own anymore. I almost died.❞
❝And what happened.❞
❝I got help.❞ It was the most she could say. Thinking about Viserys and the asylum still hurt.
❝And yet you're still here?❞ And it was probably the part that hurt the most. Nothing mattered in the end. She didn't escape that place.
❝You could come with me.❞ He had a bit of hope in his eyes but his words were unsure. ❝I could claim you, ask for you to be given to me as a gift. You'd come with me under the sea. For a time, just enough so it can be believable. Then I'll set you free.❞
Those words hurt more than she could imagine. This time, she looked away. ❝Don't be ridiculous. Who would look after Calypso?❞ She tried for light-hearted, but she did sound gloomy.
He took her hand. ❝Yasmeen I'm serious. Let me help. I could get you out of here.❞
❝You can't...❞ She squeezed his hand and looked at him. ❝Morgana would never allow you to take me away from her.❞
❝Why?❞ He still looked so hopeful, and it broke her heart. ❝You're a changeling. I mean - I - I mean that... to her... it's just what you are, but-❞
❝Because it'd be too dangerous for her.❞ She cut. She knew what he meant. But it wasn't the problem. She took a breath, readying herself for what she was about to say. ❝Because I'm a valuable asset to her. And because I know too much of her secrets.❞
Malachai stayed still as he processed her words, then his expression changed from hopeful to impassible. She couldn't read him as he withdrawed his hand and sat up straighter. He looked away and she wanted to scream. At the world, at herself for allowing someone to get close to her. For saying those words. But she stayed silent, watching him connect the dots. He was the one who understood, from their very first meeting, that she was a warrior, that she had too much knives hidden on her and that it made sense that she was sent as a guard, as well as a maid. But now, she was basically admitting to be a spy for Morgana.
It looked like an eternity passed when he spoke again, with a placid but distant voice. ❝Yasmeen, are we enemies?❞
She assumed it was his princely voice. The one he used to talk to his generals. He had never use it with here. She took another deep breath. ❝I hope not.❞
❝But she asks you about me. About my family.❞
It wasn't a question, but she still answered: ❝Yes.❞
❝And I should trust you?❞
❝I can't answer that. Trust isn't something that can't be asked for. It has to be given freely.❞
❝...Yasmeen my entire country relies on me.❞
❝I know what's at stake for you.❞
He stayed silent again, watching in the distance while she was watching him. She wanted to stop trying to analyze his very unexpressive face, but she couldn't. She was stuck.
❝You kissed me. Does she know about that?❞
❝No. She thinks we had sex, though. Many times.❞
❝Mh. And that kiss, was it all part of a game?❞
❝Well, first of all, you asked for that kiss.❞ Yasmeen were almost offended, but his question was legitimate. ❝Also, no it wasn't. It was...❞ She was almost embarassed, but she owed him the truth. ❝It was my first kiss. Well, not truly. But the first I wanted too, so I think of it this way. I wouldn't have shared this with her.❞
She tought he blushed for a second, but she couldn't be sure. He still looked so stoic. ❝How can I be sure you're telling the truth?❞
❝You can't.❞
She truly wished she could say something different, but she couldn't. He stayed silent and she did too. The silence stretched for at least a dozen minutes. Not a single sound in the church outside of their quiet breathes. Yasmeen turned away at some point, looking at the status of Farore. Even the goddess couldn't appease her right now. The girl thought about leaving, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.
It was almost twenty minutes later that Malachai spoke again. ❝My father and my mother made a pact when I was very young. I had a twin sister, but she was rumored to be a bastard. My father wanted to get rid of her. My mother protested. In return for keeping her, she had to allow my father to raise me as he saw fit. She couldn't intervene too much. And his idea of raising his first born was to make me actively participate in councils and meals with his general from a very early age. That's why I wasn't allowed to eat with my siblings.❞
Yasmeen tried not to show how deeply this admission touched her. In simply opening up again and answering her previous question, he stated without saying it that he chose to trust her, nonetheless. And, like always, she kept this information like a treasure. ❝That's... Well, that must have been very lonely.❞
❝What?❞
❝It was. And in the end, it didn't even matter. My sister was exiled anyway.❞ She could understand the feeling. They stayed silent, until he surprised her with his next words. ❝It was a peck.❞
❝That kiss. You said it was like your first kiss, but it was just a peck.❞ Yasmeen raised an eyebrow, a bit offended, and Malachai realized what he just said. ❝I mean- I, not that it wasn't, you know - good or anything. Just that - that - that if it was your first kiss, maybe it should've been better, and - and.❞
She smiled then, amused by the way he changed the subject, intrigued to know that this was in his mind somehow. He didn't only think about how she was a potential traitor, but also how her first kiss should've been better.
For once, she allowed herself to not think when she grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards her, until their lips almost touched. She stopped just a second, just to make sure he agreed to it. So when he nodded, she closed the gap between them and kissed him.
It wasn't a light kiss, not at all. It started this way, but she deepened it as much as she could, and he eagerly followed her. They both smiled into the kiss, and she wondered if she ever knew a better feeling. They only stopped kissing when they were both out of breath, but they didn't break apart. He put his forehead on hers, and she didn't move.
❝Is this kiss up to his Higness expectations?❞ she teased.
He laughed. ❝Yes it is. Although some might argue that kissing in a church is a sin.❞
❝Well then. Maybe we should spend more time in here to repent, don't you think?❞ She was flirty. She had never been flirty in her entire life.
❝I think we have no other choice, sadly.❞
They were still smiling as they broke apart, the food completely forgotten. But Malachai looked serious again when he asked: ❝Am I a fool to trust you?❞
❝I don't know.❞ She didn't want to lie to him. ❝But I truly hope not.❞
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