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#i worked for money not for the company jfc
clowningaroundmars · 4 months
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welp. the day has finally come
one of the only hardworking supervisors here at my morning job has finally walked out and so i will too 🤷🏻‍♀️
going back to my lil nursing home job now 😔
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strifetime · 3 months
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daydreamgoddess14 · 8 months
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Support System pt. 8
Roy Kent x Reader, spicy rating - MASTERLIST
CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7
It's gala time! With a sprinkle of Tedbecca cos I've missed them!
ohh and this is the gif on repeat in my head (that SMILE!! JFC):
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~~~~~~
He hasn’t seen the dress yet. You’ve hung it up in his spare room while you deal with the other stuff you don’t do all that often like hair and make up - and when you do do it, you have a little shadow following you and asking if she can share your lipstick, what’s mascara, and why do you need to put that weird thing on your eyelashes. You’d both had to rush to get ready for work after he’d fucked you in the kitchen, everything taking that little bit longer when you could hardly keep your hands off each other. He’d gone off to Nelson Road with the promise of meeting you in the city so he could collect his suit. He’d run you a bath when you’d both gotten back to his, kissed each little fingertip bruise on your hips. You’d gone with Sara to get a manicure for the first time in a very, very long time, while Phoebe played Princesses with Roy.
“Jesus, you’re glowing. It’s sickening.” She laughed.
“I know you don’t want to hear this but just pretend it’s not Roy for a sec, cos it’s not really about him anyway, but it’s insanely different. Like night and day different to anything I’ve ever experienced in my life, Sara. My whole fucking life. It’s like I’ve been struck by lightning. With Andy it was just about him, with anyone else before actually. Like they didn’t actually care about me, it was only ever about them. And I mean that in every aspect, not just the sex.” She pulled a face, “I know, I’m not going to talk to you about the sex, I promise. I wish I could, because I need to shout it from the rooftops in all honesty.” 
“I told you, he’s so ready to make someone happy. I’m glad that person is you.”
“I’m still nervous about tonight.”
“Don’t be!” She said, full of confidence.
“These people mean as much to him as you and your mum and Phebs do. It’s like you three top tier, then this entire building full of people he adores.”
“You’ve met Jamie though?”
“Yeah, but he still thinks I’m just your best friend. He’s going to know as soon as he sees me that that’s not the whole truth.”
“So are you labelling this thing when you meet everyone later?”
“He said it’s up to me. But I don’t want it to be up to me. Or not completely anyway.”
“If anyone asks, you’re friends. They don’t have to know that you’re friends who are sleeping together and are almost certainly more than friends.”
“Hmm. You’re right, we can do that. That sounds easy.” 
“Ah. Wait, no. Forget that. I’ve seen his face around you. It’s literally impossible for him to disguise that he likes you. And tonight, with the dress and the boobs and the legs he’s just not going to be able to keep his face like,” she exaggerated Roy’s impassive, grumpy face, “that all night. He’ll never be able to manage it.”
“Oh.”
“So they find out you’re seeing each other - does it really matter?”
“Suppose not.”
“Exactly. So just enjoy it. Enjoy grown up company, drinks and a really fancy night on the town with a whole football team. You’ll have a blast.” You knew she was right, you repeat her comments in your head as you potter around Roy's room - hair done, make up done, you've just finished putting in some earrings and now you're having trouble with your necklace. 
"Not going to fucking lie, if this is the outfit then I'm fine with that. I want my money back and we're not leaving the house, but I'm fine with all of that." He says from the doorway where he's been standing for goodness knows how long. His suit leaves you speechless, perfectly tailored with sharp lines. You know he can tell that it's had an effect on you.
"Make yourself useful." You tell him, handing him your necklace and turning your back on him. 
"There are other ways I can do that," he suggests once he's done the necklace up, hands tracing the line of your strapless bra and your underwear. 
"No time babe, the car is due soon isn't it?"
"I'm sure I've got time for something at least." He hooks his thumbs into your underwear, using them to pull you over to the bed and sitting down, moving you between his knees. You cup his face in your hands and kiss him, knowing you made a wise choice in not putting your lipstick on yet.  
"I don't think we do. God, you look gorgeous." You run your hands down the lapel of his jacket. 
"Bet you a fiver I can make you come and leave you enough time to finish getting ready before the car gets here."
"I'm not taking that bet," you laugh,
"Cos you know you'll fucking lose." He teases. You swat at his shoulder, 
"Aren't you wasting valuable time?" His eyes light up, hands squeezing your bum.
"Well, it's not exactly what I wanted but you'll only tell me off if you have to do your hair again." His hands, as promised, make very quick work of you while he talks about everything else he wants to do. He holds you to him as you come back down from the high. "Dress on then." He tells you, taping your hip. "I'll be downstairs." He leaves you with a lingering kiss filled with promises for later. You step into the dress and lift it into place, reaching around for the zip. You slip on the shoes and apply your lipstick, checking the whole look in the mirror. You feel amazing, you just hope he agrees. He hears you on the stairs, "just in time-" He starts, but stops abruptly. "Holy fucking shit."
"That's what I said." You laugh. "It's OK?" He hasn't said another word or taken his eyes off you while you navigated the stairs. You wring your hands nervously. "Roy? Fucksake, say something please? Is it awful?"
"You look incredible," he finally says hoarsely. "Fucking incredible. Show me?" He takes your hand, urging you to turn around and show him the whole dress. When you stop in front of him again, his hand goes to the thigh high slit up the front of the dress. "I definitely can't wait to take this off." 
"When's the car coming?" You ask, stepping into his arms. 
"It should be outside." He leads you out. In the car, his hand slips under the split of your dress to rest on your bare thigh. "Remind me to take advantage of this later when you’re less fucking nervous."
~~~~~~~
Your grip on his hand gets progressively tighter the closer you get to the venue. 
"Look at me?" He asks quietly, "It's going to be fine. They're going to love you. And god, you look gorgeous." You take the arm he offers at the start of the red carpet, you'd tried to skip it completely but you couldn't bear the thought of Roy having to do it alone. Photographers had also asked for Roy on his own but his response had been a very tame "No." Inside the venue, you spotted the only people you knew, the American coaches and Jamie both at opposite ends of the room. Once people noticed that Roy had not arrived alone, they seemed to all be looking at you at once. 
"Royo my man, why don't I escort your lovely date inside and get a table, seems the fellas need you and it might be a bit like throwing this poor young lady to the lions. Maybe give them a Kent word of warning before you introduce them?" Coach Lasso kindly offered you his arm and before leaving your side, Roy checked in with you. 
"Think I can cope with that." You smiled. 
"I'll bring you a drink back." He kissed you softly and walked over to the first group of young men you'd seen out on the pitch. A couple of them clapped him on the back in greeting, looking over at you and then back to him. You could see from his profile how much he smiled. Ted led you into the ballroom which was decorated to perfection. 
"This looks amazing." You breathe,
"It does, right? The boss likes to make it one of the best nights we have. She does a damn good job too."
"Wonder if I'll meet her," you muse.
"Oh you sure will, Faith Hill, she and our Roy are good friends so if he wants you to be meeting anyone tonight, it'll be her."
"Oh. Great," your smile falters just a little.
"She's an incredible woman. Lotta fences, but once you've hopped over those, it's like winning the Premier League. I'd imagine, anyway."
"Hopefully you'll get to find out. Only a couple of matches to go."
"That's right, Manchester next week and then West Ham." He's easy to talk to, friendly and sincere and he has you laughing so much you forget your unease. When Roy joins you with drinks, he doesn’t hesitate to kiss you in front of everyone, happy that you're happy. 
"Right, the boys are on their best behaviour if they talk to you."
"You didn't need to do that."
"I did, the dickheads would have been bloody asking for your life story. No filter on 'em. You been OK with Ted?"
"Totally fine, we've been talking about work."
"Boring."
"We're both at an impasse. I need something new, he's not sure what to do. It's all very dramatic," you drink your wine and look around the room at the assembled guests, "I didn't get through the two interviews from the other week." You admit.
"Shit babe, I'm sorry. They're missing out, it's their loss."
"Thank you. Feels like a ticking clock looming over me."
"We can figure it out. I can help." You know he doesn't just mean financially, emotionally too, but your mind is focused on the practical issues first. 
"I wouldn't want you to do that."
"I know. You might have to stop being so stubborn at least for a bit and actually accept help though." You run your fingers over his knuckles, his hand firmly in yours. 
"I know. I'll think about it when I have to though, ok?" He nods. "No more boring talk. Who you going to introduce me to?" You look around again, Ted is talking to Rebecca over by the bar. He's making her laugh. "Think anything is happening there yet?" You ask, leaning in to talk quietly. 
"Not yet, but I think she likes him too." You sigh,
"That's so cute. Look at how he looks at her."
"There is someone I want you to meet," he tells you, pulling you to your feet, "but only if you want to?" You laugh a little nervously. 
"It's Keeley, isn't it?" He kisses you and it’s just slightly over the line of publicly appropriate. 
"Only if you want to." He promises again. You might as well agree, it's easier to get it done sooner rather than later and every time you've looked at her she's been looking curiously at you. He leads you by the hand to where Keeley is sitting with Jamie and two other players. 
"This is Keeley, Colin, Isaac and you already know Jamie." You smile warmly at them all and they welcome you to their table. 
"I knew it!" Jamie grins, "you sly git, I knew something was going on the other week. Friends my arse! You look lovely, I like the Chelsea blue." He nudged Roy, clinking their beers together, you watched the smile bloom across Roy's face, it was infectious. 
"It's lovely to see him so happy. You look fantastic!" Keeley teases. 
"Makes our life easier too, y'know." Isaac laughed with Colin who readily agreed. 
"Alright, alright. I'm not that bad." He grumbles. Everyone around you falls silent but you truly can't help the giggle that bubbles up and out until you're laughing so hard you can't catch your breath. They watch you for a second before Jamie breaks first, followed by Keeley. Colin and Isaac soon relax and laugh too.
"Oh babe, I honestly say this out of love, you are though!" You laugh again. Next to you, Jamie stops laughing straight away. Roy looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Next round on me. Wanna help me Roy?" Jamie asks and gets up from the table, Roy's hand just squeezes yours before he gets up. On the stage, Rebecca is welcoming the gala guests. Keeley turns to you and you grimace at what you think she's about to say. 
"Don't worry, he just needs a minute to process that and wonder if you meant what he thinks you might mean. Better have an answer ready for later." She offers with a gentle smile. "So what do you do?" She's guiding you to a safe conversation topic but you're not quite sure why. Then it registers - your passing comment, her advice, and your eyes widen as you realise what you said, "I know. Spiral later, deep breath now." You try and relax, finishing your wine. 
"I'm a deputy Comms Director. Well, I was. I quit recently so I'm looking for something new."
"Oh wow, I love working with internal Comms, you guys know exactly what you want. Makes my job so much easier!" She laughs and pulls you into a deep discussion about external PR and internal department politics. You glance at Roy occasionally, meeting his eyes more than once. His face is impassive, unreadable. He still holds your hand, thumb resting on your pulse point while he's in his own conversation with Isaac. Your table is visited frequently by other guests and you get introduced to many other people as the evening draws on. At the auction, Roy looks relieved and nudges against you, 
"Thank fuck I don't get auctioned off anymore."
"Tell me about it, I couldn't afford you." You joke, brushing his lips in a brief kiss. 
~~~~~~~
Once the auction is over, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. You're maneuvering yourself in the cubicle when you hear the doors open. 
"You look cosy with Roy's new squeeze." You hear an elegant voice say. 
"She's so fucking cute, Rebecca. Honestly. I hope he's ready for her because she could be the best thing that's ever happened to him."
"OK, that's not what I expected to hear from you. Really?"
"Really. We're friends, really good friends and yes, I loved him so much. But I wasn't the right person at the right time. Maybe she is. As long as he doesn't cock it up."
"Maybe your time hasn't happened yet? What if it's still to come?"
"All respect, Rebecca, I think how Roy and I go our separate ways is not too tricky to work out. You and Ted however…" 
"There is no Ted and I."
"Exactly! That's my point, and my problem! You can't let him leave, babe!"
"I can't force him to stay either."
"Do you love him?" It's no good, you have to move. Doing so will make your presence known but you just have to suck it up. You emerge from the cubicle to see the two women sitting on a small sofa with a cocktail in hand. Keeley noticeably gasps so you hold your hands up in surrender. 
"I'm sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping, I promise. I didn't realise what a nightmare it was going to be to go for a piss in this dress, it's so fucking big and there's so much sodding material-"
"I'm sorry," Keeley starts, Rebecca is watching the two of you with interest.
"Oh don't be, god it could have been worse! You could have said I was a right bitch, or not good enough for him. Believe me, I'll take what you said no problem." She sighs with relief. 
"Thank fuck for that! Have you two met yet?"
"Not yet, you must be Roy's new girlfriend. Gorgeous dress." Rebecca reaches out to shake your hand. 
"Thank you. Not sure I deserve that title just yet, it's early days."
"You like him, don't you?"
"Like him? She might have just admitted in a very roundabout way that she loves him, Rebecca!" Keeley squealed.
"Well then the girlfriend title definitely fits"
"Stop deflecting Welton, I asked you a question." Keeley got back to business. "Do you love Ted?" She looks at you and you make to leave, 
"Don't mind me, I'll leave you both to it."
"Stay." She urges. "Yes, I think I am Keeley, and I don't know what to fucking do about it."
"Tell him!" You and Keeley both exclaim.
"You can't let him leave without telling him." You tell her. 
"She can't let him leave at all, he's brilliant." Rebecca seems ready to give up on the discussion.
"I'm not going to let you both gang up on me. You should know better," she points at Keeley, "and you, I hardly know. No offence." She points at you. She leaves the bathroom first while you and Keeley linger.
"So, what I said about my feelings for Roy? Totally true, we're friends. I'm getting closer to Jamie again, but I don't know what that really means. The only thing I don't know for sure, is how Roy feels. We've been split up for nearly a year, there's no reason he should shy away from anything with you. But his mind works in mysterious ways. You're better off talking to him. My advice is to be honest and open with him no matter how scary it is." She's taken your hands while she talks and when she's finished, she wraps her tiny arms around you. You're not tall but she's so petite it's comical. "So, we should go and fucking dance?" She gives you a wicked grin. "Maybe we'll get lucky and Ted and Rebecca will start something on the dancefloor. God, I'd pay good money to see those pair bang!"
Roy is looking out for you from across the room as you leave the bathroom, he gives you a little salute. 
"Keeley wants me to dance," you tell him, going for your drink. 
"Told you you'd get along." He leans down to kiss you. "I get one later though." You join Keeley and half the team on the dancefloor where you spend the majority of the rest of the night. As the evening winds down, Roy takes you into his arms where your stay for song after song. You notice Rebecca and Ted out of the corner of your eye dancing together and turn both you and Roy so he can also see. "Fucking idiot should tell her." He chuckles, holding you tighter. 
~~~~~~~
In the car on the way home, his hand finds its place on your thigh again. The quiet and the alcohol make you pensive, you're mulling over almost admitting that you love Roy, and Keeley's comment about making sure that he's moved on from her the same way she has from him.
"I'm sorry for saying what I did in front of everyone. It just fell out of my mouth, I didn't mean to ambush you with it." You start. He knows you're not done, you're worrying your bottom lip with your teeth, and you won't meet his eye. "Keeley's so beautiful, Roy. I mean, really so gorgeous." You'd never been one for comparing yourself to other women. You especially tried to avoid comparing yourself to the exes of someone new. You believed in the right person at the right time, and that exes helped shape a person. It had taken leaving Andy to help you regain who you were, for example, so like it or not - he had helped you become you. And so, you absolutely couldn't dislike Keeley, you knew that she'd helped Roy become this version of himself. She’d been so gracious, kind, and sweet during the evening, you’d had a lovely time. But that almost made it worse - comparing regular exes to footballers exes was like comparing apples and oranges. And try as you might, you weren't able to escape the fact that you were not a model. "I'm not her." You tell him, the worry evident in your voice. "What if she's the 'big love of your life’? I don't… I don't want to be a placeholder girlfriend. If you're not done with her, then I need to know." He didn't say anything for a long time, he keeps his hand on your leg while the car travels past the stadium and into his street. He thanks the driver, comes round to open your door and still hasn't said a word. He unlocks the front door and slips off his suit jacket before he turns to you. He takes your hand and guides you to sit you on the stairs and paces in front of you, rubbing his hand over his beard.
"If you'd asked me probably before Christmas, I think I would have said that I still had feelings for Keeley. But in the last six months, I've seen her change and I think I've changed too. Fuck it, I've tried to. I think it's crept up on me and I hadn't fucking realised it, but I am done with Keeley." He's still pacing methodically in front of you, making sure he says exactly what he wants to say, the way he wants to say it. "Properly done, I mean. I love having her as a friend, she's really good at that shit and I'd be lost without her. I could say the same about Jamie too but don't tell him, he's already a massive twat." He pauses to collect his thoughts. "She might have been the big love of my life… if my life had gone in a different direction. But it didn't. It's led me to you, and you could never be a placeholder girlfriend." It takes a couple of seconds but he kneels so that he's lower than eye level with you, leaning back on his heels. "I don't want you to be a placeholder girlfriend, I want you to be my fucking girlfriend, and I honestly say this out of love," you giggle through the tears that have started to fall, "you're a really good one." He leans up to kiss you. "Now please tell me that's the answer that covers all the shit that's been worrying you?" You kiss him back deeply, sliding forward on the step to bring your knees either side of him. 
"I think that covers it. God, I really fucking love you." His laugh is magical,
"Fucking love you too. I love Lexie. I love that you can't park for shit and you're late for everything, and that you made my mum like you within about 5 minutes. She didn't even like me within 5 minutes." You kiss him again as his hands open up the split of your dress and slide up your thighs. He brings you further forward on the step and brings your underwear down your legs. "I'd spend the rest of my life on my knees worshipping you, even if it kills my bad knee." You lean back on your elbows as he brings his mouth to you and you believe every word he says.
~~~~~~~
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jewtastic · 6 months
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I have nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, against stealing from large big box companies, but I do have three main complaints about all the positivity and encouragement I'm seeing circulated all the time.
Please remember that you can always get caught. No one is perfect, and being caught will result in actual, criminal charges. These charges can ruin your fucking life. Colleges can expel you, jobs can fire you without notice, and it can keep you from getting future jobs. You can even be denied for loans or credit cards. And don't forget, if you're a POC, they WILL throw the book at you. The "justice" system always comes down harder on non-white people, queer people, and non-xtians. You will face high fines, probation under unfair and expensive restrictions and conditions. And you may even face heavy jail time. Be aware of these dangers. Not only that, but as someone who's worked with and in asset protection, a lot of stores do know you're stealing. They're keeping a tally. Stores like WalMart purposely wait until they have proof you stole over a certain monetary limit so that they can press higher charges over you. From misdemeanor to burglary charges in my home state, often. This allows them to then sue you for damages and not only get their money back, but more, including court costs and the cost of the hours/employee wages that were used to follow and document your crimes. Never assume you've gotten away scott-free just because you got out of the store. Don't make a habit of stealing from the exact same location regularly. Small, infrequent hits.
Mom and Pop stores are NOT big box stores. They are often barely making ends meet in this current economy. Don't steal from small businesses, period. Don't file charge-backs on artists, don't fuck over sex workers, don't fuck with that small convenience store run by a single family. Shoplifting is moral and good- against large corporations and evil ass megabrands.
DO NOT POST YOUR SCORES ONLINE. JFC. I have seen so many posts of "theft hauls" and "look what I stole" posts. These can literally and will be used against you in court. It is not unheard of for police to track social media posts back to their owners and proceed with charges from there. In fact, it's even used by the IRS to audit families that flash a lot of cash or goods they aren't claiming in their taxes. If you're committing a crime, shut the fuck up. Don't state things outright online. Don't take pics of your stolen goods. Don't brag about the security holes in the stores you're robbing.
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waitmyturtles · 1 year
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The hamster wheel of my brain can’t stop spinning, and I have a bit more meta that I need to chew on for Moonlight Chicken episode 6 (part 1 is here and part 2 is here, and I stg that I need to move awn from this episode at some point -- Aof, this is all your fault, I’m getting Bad Buddy-ed again). And whoops, I also have a tad bit of meta for episode 5, too that I forgot to add in that review (here), so here we go -- happy Saturday, fam, hope you’re brunching away!
(Ooooh, and also, I updated my MC Big Themes list for eps. 5 and 6. As always, if you have suggestions for great posts for me to list, please send them, and I’ll add them!) 
1) Episode 5: I totally forgot to mention in my first review that Aof hasn’t forgotten the big macroeconomic conversation about the impact of the food court on Pattaya. Namely, that business meeting that Wen was in, where the discussion of the purchase of the historic market buildings was happening. When that boss said, “This is Thailand. Big fish always eat small fish.”
I honestly think we see this theme returning in episode 6 -- when Alan refuses the loan to Jim. At that moment in time, Alan has resources, he has power. And he admits to Jim: I can’t separate work from personal matters, I can’t administer the loan to you. (Hmph, Mr. Professional, okay.)
Call this an extrapolation, but I wonder if Aof is making a point here. In the end, these big economics are about greed and resource hoarding. Is the food court in Pattaya about a mathematical calculation in “helping” or “investing” back into Pattaya? Or is it about making money at the hands of the private companies and government figures who are allowing the food court to be built?
Is the loan refusal that Alan makes to Jim about protecting Alan’s bank or the bank’s customers? Or is it about Alan’s greed and jealousy towards Jim in wanting Wen back? (I think this is gently reflective of how Alan commodifies Wen in episode 5, when he says to Jim, and I’m paraphrasing, “just return what was taken from me.” Alan is a banker -- he’s a resources guy, and thinks in resource terms, even about his love life). 
Love, in these instances -- a “love” for Pattaya, Alan’s “love” for Wen -- is being commodified for rewards and greed. 
2) Episode 6: I mentioned this scene in my last two (!! JFC, two) posts about episode 6, so I’m repeating myself, but I really, really loved the scene where Wen was falling asleep on Jim’s lap (yay, it got gif-ed!). For me, there was so, so much in that scene.
I keep coming back to Wen’s line: “Do you take this place as your home?” I wrote before that that line obviously refers to the conversation that opened the episode, about love-as-home, and I also meditated that I think that line could also be a reference to Pattaya itself.
But I think also why this scene is sticking with me is because of the meaning of falling asleep on a lap, in a room like Jim’s living room.
I think it’s just such a genius stroke of Aof to situate Jim’s living arrangement as an old-school house that happens to be a rental. On the one hand, the rental aspect gives the house a temporary nature in Jim’s life -- it could disappear at any time. On the other hand, the old-school design and layout gives the house such a rooting in the past -- as if the past is still permanent in Jim’s mind and world.
I’m going to take a guess here, but I think there’s deeper meaning to Wen falling asleep on Jim’s lap as they’re situated in Jim’s old-school living room. Those long, flat, wooden-frame couches with the flat cushions. If you grew up in SE Asia, or visited like I did as a kid -- you so know those couches. With your uncles sitting on them, with their legs crossed, ankles resting on the opposite knee. Or your uncles and aunties sitting with one leg tucked under them, the other leg with the knee up and foot perched on the couch. Just chilling, talking. 
When my fam would visit when I was a kid, and we’d go visiting to all the houses, as soon as we landed on those couches, it was like time slowed down. Our extended family got comfortable with us visiting Americans -- and we were all as one again, one big family, chilling, eating fruit, laughing, catching up. 
So I’m vibing that there’s an old-school comfort to that room that, I wonder, I think, that scene is referencing. If we were lucky enough to have kind parents as kids, we can remember falling asleep on our parents’ laps -- an easy occurrence to conjure on those old-school couches, for sure.
I think Jim and Wen are evoking “home” in that scene on so many levels. On the love level -- when you love someone, you’re home, and you are that person’s home. On the temporal level, and on the geographical level.
Wen asks Jim -- “do you take this place as your home?” This rental? This living room? This town? This person?
And Jim, in that scene -- at first, he pulls back. (Remember Nozue pulling back from Togawa in Old Fashion Cupcake as Togawa sobs?)
Then Jim strokes Wen’s hair. He eases up, he settles in. That’s what you do on those couches -- you ease up and chill out. Because, even in a temporary place, you can find home in a living room like that. Because you grew up with love in a living room like that. 
(SHEESH. AOF!!! DUDE! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME.)
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spoolofthreat · 29 days
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Watching a video and seeing a product i sell at my store when i dont really care if the company gets money from it i have to hold my mouth like spongebob so i dont just say "YOU CAN BUY THIS ITEM AT [my store]!!!" Because who gives a shit. I only really care that i could identify it and its something i see almost every day and i tihink its si weird but cool that i see this stuff very commonly but we're going out of business. Oh well i can just work somewhere else. While youre at it can you burn gigaretyes all over you arm to spell Smelly Loser or something like jfc do something DO SOMETHING. Okay
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jayflrt · 1 month
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lol about your post on fate+… i agree!!! long ass rant incoming 😭
first of all, the tour is very rushed. yes ik the boys have been hinting at it since their LA show back in october but announcing the tour the day after the last show of the regular fate tour and giving engenes only a week for ticketing is wild. but kpop companies have caught on that many fans will spend $$$ to see their idols and will gather up money somehow even with a few days notice. it’s so ughhh because it brings me to my next point.
the ticket pricing 🙄🙄 wdym nyc show VIP1 was $700+ with fees. and no benefits with the VIP package were announced so nobody including the arena staff know if send off is included. (i hope it isn’t cause goddamn after that first LA show it was a mess) ive never gotten VIP/GA tickets for any concert ever because i only started working a year and a half ago and just personally don’t think it’s worth it for me considering i make minimum wage at the moment. but i spent $150 without fees fate in newark for a pretty good seat at prudential. however for UBS ticketing today, seats just as good were $250-$300. like i get it’s a diff arena so diff pricing but DAMN? luckily i was able to snag $150 tickets towards the back of the 100s section but damn why is there a $100 upcharge for sitting like a few rows in front…bffr hybe. i went to see txt at UBS last year and the seats in the same area i sat in for that concert were $300+ today 😭😭😭 concerts in general are getting more and more expensive and it sucksss!!! but like i said, kpop companies know kpop stans will buy no matter the price so they unashamedly increase prices with each subsequent tour. that’s def why some groups are touring 24/7…and enha is def gonna become that group for hybe considering their international success is crazy. i have a feeling they plan to push txt more in korea and enha more internationally so enha is gonna keep on touring and touring.
i personally believe that even $200 w/ fees is kinda pushing it for a concert even it means a good view! but you can’t get good concert tickets for cheaper with any artist (why are drake tickets like $300 for nosebleeds)
my third point is rest 😭 for the sake of the boys health, the tour should be starting in late summer/early fall and with dates more spaced out. there was so much discourse on twitter about whether the tour should be boycotted or not. i felt really guilty even considering buying tickets cause of it. imo i believe that a boycott would only hurt the boys more. it’s ok to want to go see them. HOWEVER, belift/hybe should be giving the boys some time to rest because jfc they’re also comparing for a comeback. i hope the boys get AT LEAST a week without intense practices and constant filming. a month long rest is ideal but it’s not realistic knowing their management. i really really hope all goes well this tour and the boys stay healthy. jay my pookie wookie also seemed so excited to go to tacoma, even if it’s for a day so i hope he can visit his old hometown 😫😫
and with the large influx of y/n interaction loving engenes (ik i can’t talk because im sending this to a fic blog on tumblr.com) i hope the boys don’t have to deal with the same type of bullshit they did during this last tour. it’s inevitable tho, so many people are getting into enha because they do a lot of fanservice these days. i really want to know if they flirt 24/7 on weverse because it’s entertaining to watch the aftermath or because their management really wants to push the parasocial thing with them. makes sense if it’s the management tho considering send off was very interactive (a lot of the tiktoks of it went virallll) + the boys are constantly on vlive and making flirty comments these days (sunghoon when i catch u)
right??? i loveddd the fate tour and there was plenty of time between the announcement and the actual purchasing of tickets, if i remember correctly. but today was just a mess!!! :/ how have they not realized that some engenes need more than a week to prepare and come up with the money to attend, like i had friends selling photocard collections just to buy tickets 😭 but yeah ultimately just had to dish out money from their own pockets
i believe they all have send off now (i was buying vip1 tickets for my friends and it said so on the package) but i was shocked that they even had send off still after how bad it was last time 😭😭 (to be fair i think send off was rlly nice in la tho so fingers crossed they find a big space again to hold it in) but god it makes me so sad to hear that they're just running enha dry with tour after tour 😭 and right!!! there was literally a $200+ service fee?? that's literally the price of another ticket like wtf
honestly i don't think a boycott would help. i think it could if everyone committed to it, but the moment people mentioned it i knew it wasn't happening because people aren't actually willing to give up on seeing enha. realistically there's not even much of a point to the tour considering they have like 4 new songs?? svt hasn't toured in the us since be the sun and they're gonna have two albums of songs for their next tour now. i just wish belift would let enha space out their tours like that 💔 but!! i will say i am glad that jay gets to tour in his hometown in all this
LOL it is ironic to say that to a reader insert writer but it is more of a nameless oc insert for me!!! 🥲 but i totally get what you mean, there's so many engenes who only care about interactions and "y/n moments" like this girl literally shoved me during the fate tour when they came down the aisles??? 💀 like girl chill u can have heeseung omg 🚶‍♂️ no i'm not gonna lie i think the y/n stans on twitter have fallen victim to the parasocial relationship HARD and it feels like it all started because of the fate tour too 😭 it also doesn't help that belift pushes them to fit this perfect boyfriend image with the whole "dating my fans" kind of thing. i was sooo done with them after everyone started posting their selca days for jungwon's birthday like jfc 😭😭
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shinesurge · 2 years
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i got a fucking webtoon ad on youtube and their Thing now is "read before you stream!" because they've reached the point they're just blatantly using webcomics as like pregame for what i can only assume will be shitty half-baked "anime" video content and i am so FUCKING tired y'all. this is not what webcomics were supposed to be this is just more mainstream shit where producers are profiting off of overworked artists and totally disrespecting comics as a complete form of art on its own
i actually met a new comic person at momocon a few weeks ago who talked at length about their deal with webtoon, they were so /excited/ about having had to delay their launch for nearly a year because they were in arguments about rights. They were SO pleased they'd managed to keep "a fair amount" of the rights to their own fucking work, there's an anime in the works (for a comic project that has been forced to sit on a shelf and collect dust) AND they didn't even have anything at their table because they aren't allowed to sell their own work. this is what we're bringing people up to think is success?? being THANKFUL for the opportunity to hand your baby over to a company that encourages horrible limiting art practices and pays peanuts?? we don't need to do this anymore!! you ALREADY made the thing on your OWN we do not NEED people who only see comics as an ad revenue machine!!
the webtoon original schedule is so untenable for so little money there's Drama going around rn about people hiring uncredited assistants and underpaying THEM. they want this insane amount of overproduced work but still want to act like this is Indie Comics uwu so the partners have to keep quiet about the fact that this is just more of the same mainstream bullshit. DC is even posting official comics there now this space is not for us jfc
like yall know we made webcomics to get away from literally this shit right. how is it we're all mad about what disney and the big two do but webtoon coming into this specific scene and disrupting an entire generation this thoroughly doesn't even register. webtoon isn't a comics platform it's an ad platform that's somehow convinced a movement that carved out it's own platform twenty years ago that we need it
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ultravioart · 11 months
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Lol, good timing to make an ow oc i guess. (I guess it's MY story now, since the creators have failed the narrative tremendously)
Screw all the pests in blizz that continue to mismanage and create a hostile enviorment for the development of ow. It is not that God damn hard to be professional and decent. It's really not. Yet nearly every triple A company is a bubbling cesspool of worker abuse, mismanagement, and unethical monetization practices. When does it end, jfc.
What hurts too is that the story of ow heroes and ow as a whole is actually really interesting, even though I recognize there is heavy mismanagement of the omnics/null sector writing wise.
I don't get hooked on video game story usually, but the visuals + interesting cast + robot focus is appealing to me. The omnics like Zenyatta deserve that damn lore that was promised in the ow2 2019 announcement presentation, and it's insidious when higher ups scrap entire completed projects/stories because "money." Making an entire movie, then never releasing it. Making an entire game, then never releasing it. Spitting in the face of all the actually decent employees that worked crunch (which is a form of worker abuse) to finish it. I am absolutely certain there are really great cinematics and lore bits that will never see the light of day now.
All I can hope for is that seasonal PVE reuses some of that content, because from what I saw on YouTube, the starwatch PVE was sloppy and half baked--rushed with crunch no doubt. I hope they will release one of those already completed ow2 story missions, just without the rpg elements, as a future seasonal event. If not, freaking rip.
Atleast there will be lore text logs added? Ugh. I will never be playing this game lmao but the story deserves better than whatever tf blizz is doing. And if Microsoft buys Activision it will probably just get worse and more slimy. :/
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donnerpartyofone · 1 year
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Does anybody remember several years ago, while the MCU supremacy was still on the rise, when people briefly complained that Marvel movies were either imitating or actively ripping off fan fiction? Like obviously there were development executives who figured out that fandom was happening, and that fan-created content offered an easy reference guide for what kind of thing would best separate fools from their money, and some fans were reasonably annoyed by being exploited and condescended to like that? I guess whatever outrage popped up then was defused by the pleasure the target demo felt when they saw approximations of their own work brought to big-budget life by no less than the Disney corporation (and to a lesser degree the US military-industrial complex for which it stans). Too bad though, because now the fans who fed the success of the MCU and neo-Star Wars stuff have to deal with the irony of Disney attacking them for copyright infringement--not that that stops any of those people from continuously defending their abuser whenever anyone suggests that it's just a greedy corporation that chews up its underpaid employees to churn out formulaic garbage whose main purposes are securing subscription fees, and templating the production of overpriced merchandise.
But uh anyway, the reason I'm thinking about this now is because of corporate ads I see that utilize actual fan art. It's so crazy what they choose! Recently there was an ad for some Marvel thing that I first assumed was just some tween's blazed post for their little webcomic or whatever; the graphic was really crude and nothing about it stood out, so I was stunned when I finally looked at it long enough to notice that it was a piece of fan art that had been commissioned or acquired to promote some new Marvel show. Now I'm seeing that Teen Wolf ad every four or five posts, and I had that same experience where I went from thinking it was just some random crappy fan art, to realizing that it was crappy fan art offered to me by MTV to get me to watch a professionally-produced television series based on a successful existing property movie based on a TV series based on a popular film (JFC!). The art tells you absolutely nothing; it's just two generic white guys standing stiffly in front of a jeep. There's no style or flair, and it's like...well I remember being at the age when I drew like that, like I was competent enough to draw proportional bodies, but I had a hard time with things like fists, upturned faces, differentiating one character's features from another, and just getting a figure to look like it was standing naturally. So there's this kind of rigorous boringness to the image, and if it weren't for the corporate logos, I'd never have guessed that it wasn't JUST a cruddy no-reason drawing of two anonymous guys. The kind of thing somebody drew just to practice drawing clothes, or cars, or whatever. Not much going on. (Shouldn't there at least be a werewolf or something??)
What I mean to say is that it's interesting what a dysfunctional relationship large scale entertainment companies have with the fans they rely on. Like, the corporations know enough to take their cues from fan content, so we get movies and shows that are patterned on shit from AO3 and we get ads featuring actual low level fan art...but that seems to suggest that the companies think that fans are more interested in fan content than they are in the source material. Is this actually true? Maybe! I'm an outside observer, so I really have no idea if the average fandom member actually prefers awkward drawings and jerkoff prose written by 12 year olds (or people who write like them), to whatever professional comics/movies/shows that stuff is based on. They might genuinely prefer the former by now, or they might just not see any difference anymore. But the choice of fan art for these Tumblr ads is really shocking to me. It's like the marketing people decided it was a good idea to pander to fandoms by using their own content against them, but then they were too afraid to use anything with real personality, and they definitely weren't going to use anything really homemade-looking. So, they just went with something that wasn't too good, and wasn't too bad, either. The graphics chosen don't look remotely as good as some of the stuff that turns up regularly on Tumblr Radar, and are also not as interesting as the truly raw, perverted children's fan art that circulates here all the time. Personally, I think they should go with the latter, and start buying up seriously primitive kid drawings and disgusting fetish art and all that real deal fandom shit that makes fandom so repulsive to the rest of us. If corporations wanna pull that "we're just like you" trick by feeding fan content back to the fans, they should really lean in. Get all that popular rapey, incest-y, queer baiting, mpreg weirdness into the ads and just watch the money roll in.
All that said, I do feel concerned about corporations making a product out of fandom to be sold back to the fandom itself--and assuming that we're ALL potential fans and stans--because I think it identifies a mistake being made re: what professional production should look like. And I don't mean to suggest that "outsiders" don't make great art or write interesting stories ("outsider art" is a suspicious label anyway but you know what I mean); any time something truly inspired and original emerges, it doesn't matter where it comes from. But as a consumer, when I'm asked to pay full price for something, I expect it to be made with a greater level of talent and sophistication than what it takes for a young amateur to get a lot of notes on Tumblr (or wherever) from other young people exactly like themselves. Like I remember being a kid and drawing loving portraits of Fox Mulder, Over and Over and Over Again...but if I spent my precious allowance on the latest X-Files comic and found that the inside looked just like my sketchbooks, I would have felt pretty disappointed. If those comics were advertised using that type of art, I would have felt sad and confused about why a comic based on my favorite popular TV show was no better than what I make for myself in my school notebooks. And it would have been fair for me to feel personally ripped off, too, considering the fact that I made that kind of art for free, and now I was paying some entertainment company to sell it back to me.
As an adult horror fan, I'm part of a community (whether I like it or not!) that produces tons of fan content, and also lots of deeply homemade cinema. Some of it is made with real ingenuity, but like, that makes up a predictably tiny minority of what's out there. Once in a while I see a new-to-me title for rent on a major streaming platform, and after I've paid a normal-movie amount of money to satisfy my optimistic curiosity about it, and I find out that it's just, you know, a no-budget ripoff of EVIL DEAD shot on an iPhone in somebody's mom's basement...then I feel pissed off. And I have a right to feel pissed off! Context is important, and part of the context of a movie is where it is offered, and how much you pay to see it. Like, the world has a seemingly endless supply of shot-on-video movies about vampires starring suburban douchebags in wraparound shades and vinyl clothes from Hot Topic, drooling and slurring around mouthfuls of plastic fangs...and don't get me wrong, those guys have a right to make those things, but if I accidentally paid $20 to see one of them in a theater that was otherwise showing what I will shamelessly call Real Movies, I'd be mad. And more to the point, if I had shed the blood sweat & tears required to make a Real Movie myself, which is an almost miraculous feat even for something that comes out bad, and I saw my title on a marquis next to one of those mall goth camcorder movies, I'd probably feel like I failed somehow.
I'm thinking of something I saw recently about a new author who debuted on the NYT best-seller list, who had been plucked from fan fiction obscurity by the business minds at a mainstream publisher. Obviously the execs realized what kind of traffic fan fiction did online and figured they could just skin and repackage that shit as an original romance novel--and they were right. There was nothing apparently special about the book except that the author enjoyed some preexisting fandom community recognition, and the book fit with preexisting fic formulae. The article that described this event included a writer's statement that was itself incredibly primitive, basically saying (inarticulately) that they felt like they had no idea what they were doing but their editor was really helpful in hammering their raw, amateurish writing into something recognizable as a book you'd see in a real, normal bookstore. And like, you can really imagine what happened there, when you read that. And I don't think that should be happening.
I'm sure that for some people, writing and drawing fan content is a great gateway to perfecting a craft, along with formal education, studying lots of different kinds of art and reading lots of different kinds of writing besides the one thing that's your favorite, suffering regular rejection letters and painful criticism, seeking mentorship with experienced pros, gaining your own professional experience, and just plain old making sacrifices and putting in the hours. And that's fine. But, I just don't think publishing houses and production studios with even a modicum of reach and power should put a cap on quality at "rando who gets a lot of traction on deviant art dot com". Call me elitist all you want, I don't think we should put grownup price tags on shit kids make for free to amuse each other. I don't think we should suggest to creators and producers of all kinds that nobody has to try any harder than that. And we shouldn't suggest, by proxy, that audiences don't deserve any better than that, either.
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nuthin-up-my-sleeve · 2 years
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I may need clarification that I’m not an idiot so humor me and walk with me per se.  We had a surprise meeting going over current jobs and their profitability.  I brought up one in particular where a GC added more work and sent us a change order for $8K and our cost of materials and labor equaled out at $12.5K.  This screams that an estimator did not take the time to figure the cost and just tossed a number at it. It’s upside down.  The project manager blurts out “don’t know how you do math, but we made money dumbass”!  I should’ve simply walked away, BUT I can’t because I’m an asshole that calls out idiots.  He then said if I’d ever done project management I’d know this.  First off I despise accounting math, but I have skills and second I’ve been a project manager and managed up to 10 jobs simultaneously and never lost money mainly because I wasn’t busy fucking my toothless tweaker girlfriend at the NO TELL MOTEL or on the lake fishing or watching NASCAR crashes on youtube.  So clarify this my people.
If it cost $12,500 and we’re only getting paid $8,000 that is a LOSS of $4500.  Simple right?  JFC a fifth grader could spot that.
His parting words to me as he stomped out of the meeting “this is bullshit with his fancy smancy math tricks.... my shit makes money”!  He’s second in command here and friends with the company president so I’ll just be in my office doing MATH TRICKS.  Que snort laughing DER HER!!!
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frecklydork · 2 years
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Who are all of your arcane f/os bestie!!
yooo bestie I've got a LIST
💋 Vi (voiced by hailee steinfeld. v obviously a lesbian. ultimate badass. hot as hell. i self shipped with her months before i started the show bc i KNEW i'd fall for her instantly. hailee steinfeld!!!! thank you to whomever made that casting decision bc otherwise I probably wouldn’t have felt motivated enough to watch the show at all)
🌠 Silco (looks like human!starscream if he were just 17% more fucked up + I love a disheveled mess of a man. also his lack of ass is amazing to me I love watching him walk away and seeing absolutely nothing following that backside, go king you’re still a tumblr sexyman)
✨ Viktor (accent!!! GORGEOUS HAIR. i want to kiss him and cook mac n cheese for us both. i can keep him company while he's up working on his science stuff, i can draw him pictures and i'll ask him to infodump to me just so i can hear that pretty accent of his until insomnia stops kicking our ass for 5 minutes and we can take a nap and cuddle)
💌 Grayson (HER VOICE!!!!! that woman can give steve blum a run for his money jfc it's so graveled and harsh like burnt glasspaper, like pebbles sanded over from rough waves at the beach. i am so, so weak for women with deep voices and this one is just... perfection)
🌟 Mel Medarda (SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I AM SO GAY. Move over Jayce I'm stealing ur girl)
🤖 That one robot councilor can have a kiss. he's a robot. i like robots. kissed and thrown into the pile
I think that's it. Caitlyn and Jayce both have potential to be kissed and tossed into the pile as well if I rewatch the series, but my three mains that I'm really fixated on are Vi, Silco, and Viktor my beloveds 💙💙💙💙💙
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cosmologyofgaming · 1 year
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If I may ask; why the lack of videos recently?
HIIIIII
No problem at all viewer from the Void. Basically shit hit the fan 🥴
We're gonna add a funny intro at the next video (RE6 ep 4) to also explain this but the TL;DR is:
SadJack was prepping for their PhD comprehensive exams so Zmora was doing the bulk of editing to ease their studying woes.
Then SadJack had to actually write the exam and it took a week
Don't ask about the results.
Then Zmora's entire office got sick EXCEPT for Zmora (superior Slav genes, obviously) so she was then doing everyone's job on top of her own over a period of 3 weeks.
Zmora had to run 3 back to back events with basically no staff so she was just dead tired in the evenings. This includes SadJack who does part-time stuff at Zmora's work place.
Aaaaand SadJack's sickness of choice was laryngitis and sounded like a prepubescent school boy going through the mutation period (they also had the perfect voice for that "relax. I just wanna take some pictures." meme)
Zmora's grandpa flew in from the Motherland and got held by border control for 6 hours as a "random check" (he's 81. He stood the entire time and wasn't offered water or a chair to sit on). They got out of the airport at 2am. Zmora was furiously writing complaints for like 2 days.
Zmora is ALSO applying for PhD now jfc as if we weren't busy already.
Our friend's dad passed away. We've been trying to spend time with them just gaming in the evenings and keeping company so time for editing is down.
Then Zmora had an eye exam and got the drops of "high-eyes" were your pupils are shot WIDE OPEN and they gave her too many drops so her pupils were enlarged for 48 hours and screens were hard to look at lmfao
Holiday season madness. SadJack hosted a Friendmas and then we were doing Holiday things, other Holiday parties, and shopping in friend groups and trying to organize things before the Holidays. ugh.
As a child of divorce, SadJack's family social schedule just blew up they are v busy. Meanwhile Polish xmas is just. a literal nightmare.
FIFA 2022 BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
PROJECT BLUELXCK INTENSIFIED
THIS FIFA IS SO DRAMATIC????? THE BEST ONE IN FOREVER???? LETS GO MOROCCOOOOOOO FOR DEFEATING ALMOST ALL THEIR COLONIZERS.
ZMORA IS GONNA GUSH OVER IT IN ANOTHER VIDEO AND THE ENTHUSIASM FOR THE GAME, THE MALE COMRADERY, AND HOMOEROTIC TENSION WAS SO HIGH THAT EVEN SADJACK GOT INTO FOOTBALL (if you say "soccer" in this house I will find you and I will kill you.)
and then Virgil bodied the fuck out of Paderes jfc. Google it it's wild to watch even if you don't like sports.
WE ARE CHEERING FOR THE BAGUETTES CAUSE WE DON'T LIKE HOW ARGENTINA HAS BEEN PLAYING THIS YEAR ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE POLISH GAME AND THE DUTCH GAME WE MUST HONOUR OUR ANCESTORS.
i mean HOW CAN YOU NOT AFTER THIS FORBIDDEN ROMANCE BETWEEN MBAPPE AND GIROUD
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So now SadJack and Zmora are planning to marry a rich footballer and be set for life. SadJack will be the nonbinary sensation and hey if Mbappe is dating a trans model anything is possible. We are willing to pump out a child or two as payment if it means getting to sink teeth into thunder thighs and have money to help our families.
Then Zmora reinvigorated her, like, decades long crush on Neymar and then got super sad when she became aware he's a Bolsonaro supporter and then fell down the Brazilian politics and Bolsonaro v Lula and Car Wash Scandal rabbit hole.
Now Zmora has a mild cold - still superior since people were knocked out with like bronchitis and fevers of 39.5 degrees celcius, bladder infections, etc. - but she's grumpy.
🫠🫠🫠
SO WITH ALL OF THAT we have lots planned 😁 and will probably continue the hiatus until January so we can get all our eggs in a basket but some things include: - a new series called critical crunches! -SadJack has a secret Pet Vet video coming out???? Man wtf??? -ofc an end of the year chaos video - finishing off RE6 -a few video essays in the works -Scarlet and Violet first impressions (tldr Zmora HATES HATES HATES it) -RE6 remaining, Gotham Knights, Callitso Protcol, that cursed train horror game, dead space remake maybe?
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starwarspissorgy · 1 year
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Gamers are such babies. I woke up to dozens of reviews saying SV would be basically perfect games but are almost unplayable for performance reasons. I looked up gameplay footage and they literally look fine.
Pokémon not having gorillion megapixel shaders and having occasional framerate stutter doesn't mean Nintendo is a bad company trying to cheat you out of money (I mean all large corporations are). It means that not every game has to look like God of War. I want them to look cartoonish and stylized. Like jfc this is "I want shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less and I'm not kidding" is supposed to result in, games with graphics that aren't on the bleeding edge because why does the gap between looking fine and the bleeding edge matter, but that are written and designed better.
I don't want a photo realistic Mr. Mime and neither do you, gamers are just desperate to be oppressed for some reason and they don't realize it would work better to go outside and look at capitalism then to moan about framerate.
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jncoreinhardt · 2 years
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I think the thing that frustrates me the most about the refusal to like, talk about money in a practical and useful way is that the elephant in the room in activist circles is that generative work costs a lot of money, and a lot of it is hidden from view. It’s often an arcane and byzantine system of patronages and obligations, involving the kind of rich white people who own islands and feel a little guilty about their murderous timber baron grandfathers.
Wouldn’t it be so much better if, at a grassroots level, we could just make our own fucking money? mutually accountable and mutually beneficial? like you know how marge simpson and her friends had that investment club??? the pretzel wagon episode?? and how communities of BIPOC would have a community pot through their social clubs and churches etc to help put money down on their corner stores or gas stations or whatever??? You know???
How is that more ethically wrong, or more compromising, than rattling a can at campus fundraisers? Or running patreons? **** What’s wrong with starting a fucking landscaping company, hiring a bunch of neechies, and cutting the grass at the old folks home? and after you pay your expenses you plow everything straight back into the community! jfc like suggesting shit like this makes you a goddamn pariah, and some of these people earn tidy middle class livings doing work for the fucking government.
why should we just sit here and let developers buy all the land? why should we tolerate all these little investor-backed cafes and eateries and shoppes with names that sound like smartphone apps? oh we’re so morally and ethically pure for not participating in capitalism and land speculation even though we’re all working and living at the centre of the goddamn empire, ordering our 30 dollar cheeseburgers on ubereats instead of walking to the POC owned corner store with hot food that’s been there for 50 fuckin years. pffffffffffffffffft
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year
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my brain is buzzing with random au ideas and shit while im sitting here awake entirely too early
and i just. Fucking Niche AUs I'll probably never finish part two:
-Call Center AU: Ed and Stede are middle managers learning to work together (and falling in love of course) after their companies and staff merged in a new big ass building (for fun: many rumors it's haunted. It isn't, Buttons just hates getting up early for work so during the week he hides out and lives in the basement.) Badminton & Co are trying to buy out their newly merged company with plans to fire everyone. Is this one just so I can shove in Murray Hewitt references with Stede? Partially! It's also bc i can throw in The Office references for my mum, who thus far will only read fic if I have a few in there & it's mainly comedy, and she hasn't read like any of my stuff fic or original in ages so. Yeah skdnfng
-NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board) AU aka did u know aviation is another special interest of mine? u do now!!:
Ed and Stede lead separate teams as part of Aotearoa's TAIC (their version of the NTSB), and are called in to assist with an NTSB investigation re: a crashed plane & a dead Badminton bro as a result ( Either of the two we've seen thus far, w/subplot abt him being a dick who was super rich bc of a shit ton of rental properties in Aotearoa that he didn't keep up well and hiked rent on constantly bc he seems like the landlord type.)
However, as it progresses it becomes clear there's more at stake than just a plane accident investigation (tho obvi also v important still) bc it appears there might be sabotage involving ppl in both the states and Aotearoa (aka hi jack!! and any other random pirates or historical ppl i might add in lol.)
This is difficult tho, bc like. they didn't like this Badminton of course so him being dead is like well this will be positive for his renters at least maybe, but also holy fuck other ppl died as a result jfc what the fuck. so then it's a matter of do we or do we not reveal the whole truth & open up what would be a can of worms re: Badminton, but would be an utter disservice to the rest of the victims' families if NOT revealed.
Substitute Teacher AU:
A school has had just. horrible luck and a few scandals and now the entire staff has been fired and the district really doesn't wanna spend that much money on new ppl yet so
enter Stede and Ed as separate teams of substitutes, attempting to cover all the topics at a decently large school where tbh they could use even more teachers (enter Doug, Mary, Spanish Jackie who actually teaches French & likes how her nickname fucks w/the kids a bit lmaoo, & Jack as additional help)
Nigel & Chauncey both have kids at the school, and expect special treatment as a reward for donating generously to the school (not really that generously tho), which means they are Nightmare Parents. Like yes it's sad they're both divorced but like if u talked to them for five mins u would Understand.
Big events in it would be Parent/Teacher Conferences (Izzy and Jim end up having to manhandle a screaming Nigel outside after Roach asks him to tell his kid to stop trying to set things on fire in Home Ec), at least one school dance ("Ed, they're vaping in the bathroom, what do I do?" "Idk join them?" "Ed!" "What? They'll do it regardless!!") and the graduation of the oldest grade (I think middle schoolers would be both the cruelest and funniest option for this au) and how they'll actually miss these goddamn kids, & don't know if they'll be contracted for the same school next year as permanent or called in to sub more or what
Topics for everyone thus far:
Jackie-French as noted above. She also enjoys that the kids always think Frenchie should teach her class purely based on his name. Doesn't tolerate any bs during class & will send u to the principals, but if everyone behaves they get an extra point added to their grade just for showing up and being polite. For some kids, for various reasons, it's a life saver.
Frenchie-joint band and choir director with The Swede. Treated like a local rock star by the kids bc he tells them how back home he plays in a few bands, and plays gigs in between teaching contracts/assignments. A couple make fan shirts after they google and manage to find out the name of the band he usually performs with. They give him one too and he can't help but well up bc. kids man. one minute little assholes the next moment doing something so kind and unexpected!
The Swede- mainly choir director but helps with the band bc they have a huge class size but of course the district doesn't care abt that.
Ed & Stede-joint principals, also Theater. Ed jokes that he's the Fun Principal bc he occasionally lets the kids get away with like. smoking near the school or playing hooky. If he catches them they get a 'guys cmon if u keep this up i gotta stop u forever so like. be mindful' talk. Stede thinks he's truly the Fun One tho bc he keeps making up ideas for those funny dress up weeks schools do in the states and Ed we are teaching here so we should do as the Romans do, so to speak! (how does that work, it doesn't really as far as i know with a lot of teaching jobs but shhhhh fiction time.)
Buttons-shop related classes, any and all, including woodworking and a v basic automotive class (obvi they won't pay for a garage set up, so he has to rely on drawing and otherwise illustrating & using texts to teach.) Also serves as the lunch room monitor bc the kids are p sure the rumor that he once ate a guy is true, and no one wants to Test Him.
Jim-Gym. Took it on purely bc they think it's funny to hear the kids go 'its time for gym/Jim!' Another beloved teacher for being supportive when kids struggle with the class, and also bc if everyone has good attendance each quarter then they'll take a day to show them knife throwing (after permission slips are signed of course.)
Olu-Spanish, but defers to Jim a lot bc then he gets to talk to Jim and no he doesn't have a crush on Jim! Also occasionally bemoans to Jim for them teaching the kids to swear in Spanish. Jim finally kisses him during one such lovingly made complaint.
Wee John-Home Ec, sewing & other textile based art. One of the fave teachers bc he always has snacks in his classroom, and will let any exhausted kids nap during class so long as they turn in finished projects (first is a lil plushie, then a bigger one, finally they have to design & attempt an article of clothing. Doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect or even complete, he just wants them to try.) Once freed Stede after he accidentally sewed his finger to some fabric while mucking abt after school in the classroom.
Fang-any and all math classes. No one knows how he handles the work load, but he's always chill af abt it. Another student fave for being kind and taking extra time with kids that suck at math, or flat out have dyscalculia & require the extra tutoring as part of their IEP.
Ivan-Social Studies. He knows the kids find it boring, so he does his best to give it some extra shine by making up projects for the kids to do that are graded a little bit kinder than regular hw bc he's more concerned that they have fun (and might retain the info better as a result.) One of the kids' faves ends up being a journal assignment abt the Oregon Trail, aka write an Oregon Trail story that can be as dramatic and/or like the video game as they want.
Izzy-Head Librarian. Cannot believe they fired the library staff as well as everyone else at the school. cannot get over how little the district does to help keep up said library (books are heavily damaged & still on the shelf, new books rarely ordered, and literally the shelves are not in Dewey order. That makes a vein in his forehead twitch every day until he takes an evening to correctly label and reshelve everything.) Winds up staying late a lot to repair books, order new books (when he runs out of what little funding there is, he puts them on his own cc and just doesn't tell anyone, claiming them as charitable donations from 'an anon donor'), and otherwise do any additional upkeep to get the place up to par. Realizes halfway thru the year no one got assigned to teach the Health class, and begrudgingly takes it on as well. He teaches in a section of the library, with Mary taking over main library duties for that time. Has to deal with all the horribleness that is teaching middle schoolers that topic ("You can't all keep laughing every time I say penis or we'll never get through this chapter. And that's hell for you as much as it is for me!")
Roach-Home Ec, cooking class. also helps in the lunch room bc literally they did not actually hire any kitchen staff, the subs are told to do that too. He winds up telling the kids they can help by prepping the ingredients for their lunch in his classroom, then he'll take it all to be finished for lunchtime in the industrial kitchen. They end up loving it after the first week, bc he brings in recipes that are decently healthy but that most the kids are up to trying or already like.
Mary-painting substitute if Doug is out for a day, but mainly works alongside Izzy in the library as the assistant librarian. Yes they gossip abt Ed and Stede. Yes they have a running bet on when they'll finally announce a relationship and fill out that paperwork with HR (this immediately starts a side convo for them abt the shoddy quality of the paperwork & how slowly it gets filed. They admit to being sticklers at times, but also they're right.)
Doug-art, painting and sculpture. Always up for weird art ideas, and has the graduating grade (even if they don't take his elective course) make a mural before the end of the year. They each get a framed pic of it, and he plans to have each graduating class redo the wall each year, should he be contracted for another full year.
Jack-biology/gen science. Encourages the kids to 'really get into' the dissections. Does his best to try and get the district to agree to a field trip to the local morgue to see a full on embalming, but is told uhhhh no bud. Accidentally reveals a parentage issue for a few kids while using eye & hair color to teach Punett squares.
Lucius-Creative Writing. Has a loving feud with Pete bc most of the kids are in both their classes. Said kids have bets on if Pete or Lucius will propose to each other or not by the end of the year. Makes a point to be a safe place for any kids with writing that may point to some other issues going on in life (based off my hs lit mag teacher Dr. Brenda Werner. No joke, she saved my life as a kid, I think Lucius would be the same for his class.)
Pete-Newspaper/Yearbook. Very big on making sure stories are accurate, bc 'ppl doubt my stories a lot, so you need your details and shit in order.' The kids: ooooh he swore!!!! and promptly do not absorb this knowledge fully. But they enjoy his class bc he's chill and is happy to let them explore what options journalism can offer, and to research odder stories for internal class articles vs school paper ones (Missing: David, Where's Shelly? vs Cilantro: Should Roach Use It In Our Lunch Or Does It Taste Like Soap.)
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