#i won't bother telling anyone who this person is until i sort out my feelings which is never

[samandcolby-ownme]

Summary: just a little behind the scenes of Colby and reader keeping their relationship out of the spotlight. 

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, secret dating, secret texting, secret flirting, hair pulling, biting, scratching, choking, oral (both rec), use of 'good girl', unprotected sex, general filth

Word count: 3.7k | not edited 

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You feel your phone vibrate in your lap, glancing up at Colby and the smirk on his lips tells you exactly who the texts is from. 

You look over at your friend sitting next to you, who's clearly deep in conversation with Sam, before flipping your phone over, you look so sexy in those jeans. They make your ass look so good. 

You chew on the inside of your lip, fighting back a smirk as you type back, They'd look even better on the floor of one of our bedrooms. 

You flip your phone back over and look up, joining in on the conversation as Colby reads your text, "Oh yeah, I've been to Paris this time of year. It's beautiful." 

"Yeah?" Sam raises his brows, "Then I say.. we all buy a plane ticket, I'll book the hotel, and we take a trip to Paris." 

"I'm so down for that." You nod, phone vibrating in your lap. As you go to flip your phone over, your friend next to you leans over, "Is he serious?" 

You lay your phone back down quickly and look at her, "Who? Sam?"

She nods and you laugh, "Oh yes. Sam is very serious when it comes to planning trips. I bet he's already looking at hotels." 

"Ah. Found one." He says leaning over to show Colby. 

"Told ya." You smile and she nudges you with her elbow, "Why don't you go after Sam? You seem to know him pretty well." 

You sigh, "I don't feel that way towards him." You look at her, "You know that." 

She tilts her head, "Yeah, but I feel like you've been single forever, I think Paris would be the perfect time for you to find someone, you know? Get out there." 

You roll your eyes, "I'm content with how my life is. I promise." 

You've been secretly dating Colby for a few months. 

You both are actually surprised that you've managed to keep your relationship secret for this long, almost five months to be exact. 

You both agreed that you liked the privacy aspect of it, also because Colby doesn't want your name being drug through the mud for just being with him. He's saving you from that for as long as he can. 

You both also agreed to not tell your friends just yet, because It keeps things exciting between the two of you. Kinda giving you both an adrenaline rush every time you try and sneak in a kiss or two when you get a few seconds alone. 

The late night drives when it feels like just the two of you, is just absolutely perfection. 

No one bothers you. You can talk for hours on end and just enjoy each other without people intruding in anyway. 

Your friend goes back to talking to the group and you take the chance to see what Colby said. You turn your phone away slightly, smirking at his text, Your roommate won't be home tonight right? So that means I can use the front door .. like a normal person? 

You tap the screen, tilting your head, I don't know, Colby Brock coming through my window is actually kind of hot. 

Your friend looks back over and leans over as you lock your phone quickly before throwing it into your lap. 

"Ohh.. I see." She leans in, "Got some sort of-" she lowers her voice, "-sneaky link going on, do we?" 

You laugh, shaking your head, "No. there's no.. sneaky link.." 

"Mm. Okay." She shakes her head, reaching for her glass, "So there is someone?" 

You take a sip from your glass, eyes moving to a smirking Colby, "No." you set your glass down, looking back over at him, "Just.. trying to get a brand deal. I don't want anyone to know until it's official, you know?" 

She raises her brows, "Y/n. That's great!" She pretends to zip her lips and throws the invisible key, "Your secret is safe with me." 

She smiles and turns to jump in on the conversation. Your eyes meet Colby's and he shakes his head slowly as he stares at you with a small grin. 

You look down at your phone, taking in a quiet, deep breath as your eyes scan over Colby's text, You know what else is hot? 

You glance up at him, then over to the group before responding, Do tell. 

You rest your phone down, reaching up to get a drink as Colby responds back. He stops when Sam looks over, "Do you want to go out with Jake and Johnnie tonight?" 

Colby thinks for a second, searching for a valid excuse, "I have to edit that video, and I-"

"He's going." Sam says into the phone with a nod, to who you assume is Jake on the other end. You look at Colby and he gives you the it'll be fine, look. 

You feel your phone vibrate and you look down, Don't worry babe. It doesn't matter. You're my girl, you get priority. I'm seeing you tonight. 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You grow more impatient as time goes on. 

You wanted Colby, and you wanted him now. 

When are you coming? 

You rest your phone on your chest and instantly get a reply from him, Soon, baby. You gettin antsy? 

You sigh, smirking as you type, you have no idea.

You see the bubbles pop up, I'll be there as soon as I can, I might just tell them I'm not feeling too good, but I'll be over as soon as I can get away.

You sit up, Is there anything I can do to get you here faster? 

You get up, walking to your bedroom. You set your phone down on the bed, slipping off your shirt and bra before walking over to the mirror. 

You bring your phone up, laying an arm over your bare chest and snapping a picture, typing out a text before you hit send, look at what you're missing out on. 

You stand there anxiously as you wait for a reply. 

You see the bubbles pop up and smirk as your eyes scan over his words, Don't tease me like that, baby.

You turn around, moving your arms a little bit further down, snapping a picture and typing out, I have no idea what you're talking about. 

You hit send, laughing slightly as you walk over to sit on the bed. Colby is taking a minute, so that must mean someone's around him. 

Finally, he answers, Fuck.. baby girl. I can't wait to get my hands on you. 

You move your arm away fully, leaving your breasts exposed as you send the picture with no text. 

You toss your phone down onto the bed and go to your dresser, digging through the drawer to find your never worn, red lace lingerie set. 

You strip down completely to slip on the sheer little number. You walk over to your closet, pulling out one of Colby's sweatshirts and slip it on. 

You walk over to your bed, moving to lay down as you pick up your phone. You smirk when you see Colby's text, I'm on my way.

You feel your heart rate pick up and you hold your arm up, moving the sweatshirt to reveal the little heart that's cut out oh the hip of your panties. 

You snap a picture of your body, Can't wait to see you. 

You hit send, moving over to unlock your window. You walk over, closing the door and locking it, just in case your roommate comes home unexpectedly. 

You stand there, exiting to finally have alone time with Colby.

The last few days have been rough, mainly because him and Sam have been meeting with people about exploring a haunted house nearby. 

You bring you phone up, smiling as you read Colby's text, That sweatshirt would look even better on the floor. 

You instantly move to take off the sweatshirt. You step infront of the mirror, posing for a picture to send to him, how's that? 

He's driving so it's a minute or two later that he gets back to you, leave it on. I'm taking that off of you. 

You smile, Deal. 

You move to sit in the middle of your bed, trying to patiently wait for Colby to arrive. 

It feels like hours until you finally get that, I'm coming up, text. 

You throw your phone to the end of the bed, rising up to sit on your calves. Colby's figure appears in the window and you bite your lip, watching intently as he steps through. 

He reaches behind him, eyes still on you as he closes the window, "Come here." He lunges to you, making you fall backwards onto the bed as his body is over yours. 

His lips attack yours before kissing down your neck. 

His hand travels up and down your side, gripping to pull you closer to him. Your legs wrap around his waist and he groans as you tug his hair. 

"Been thinking about being with you all fucking day." He mumbles into your neck as he leaves open kisses up it, "So fucking hot." 

He rolls, causing you to straddle him. His eyes rake up and down your body as his hands slide up your thighs. 

You lift your hands to brush hair off your shoulders, letting it fall down your back, "It feels like forever since I got to actually feel you." You lean down, "I've missed you." 

He tucks your hair behind your ear before sliding his hands to your ass, "I'm here now so you can do whatever you want to me." 

You smirk, "Okay." You move down his legs, a hand sliding down his stomach and slipping up under his shirt. 

You drag your nails over his skin and he gasps as he titles his head back slightly, "Don't tease me, baby." 

You smirk, moving your hands to undo his belt. You pull the leather strap from the metal buckle and unzip his pants, "couldn't make it easy for me, could ya?" 

Colby looks at you, tilting his head, "Maybe if someone wasn't sending me titty pictures and getting me bricked up, I would have." 

You tilt your head, "Now who would do such a thing?"

He lifts his hips so you can shrug his pants down. You slide your hands up his thighs, and over his achingly hard cock that's trapped behind the thin wall of his boxers. 

He lets out a groan, looking down at you. Before he says anything, you pull his boxers away, allowing his cock to spring free. 

He lets his head fall back as you lean in, pressing your lips to the head of it. Your tongue slips out, lapping it around the underside. 

A groan leaves his lips as his hips buck. He reaches down, pushes his boxers away and lays a ring cladded hand on your head, "Fuck, come on baby. Give me more." 

You smirk, keeping your eyes on his as you wrap your lips around the head, slowly working your way down.

He lays his head back, moaning out as he feels you bob up and down on him, your tongue sliding around each time you pause. 

His hand grips your hair, his breathing gets heavier, "So good." 

You bob your head a few more times before he reaches down, cupping your face to pull you off of him, "Get up here." 

You move up, straddling his waist. He reaches up, sliding his hand around your neck to grip and pull you down. 

Your lips crash onto his, moaning out as you feel his hand slide in between your thighs. He adds pressure to your clit, rubbing hard circles. 

You grind down onto his hand, "C-Colby." 

"You like that?" Colby whispers and you nod, brows furrowed, "Y-yes." 

He pulls his hand away, "Sit on my face." 

You look down at him and he nods for you to move up. 

You position yourself over your face and he reaches up, pulling your panties to the side and pulls you down. 

Your one hand instantly goes to his hair while the other one goes to press into the wall in front of you, "Fuck." You breathe out, "Sh-shit. Yes. Yes yes." 

You roll your hips, letting your head fall back, "Oh fuck." 

His tongue slips into you, working its way out them back in. He tilts his head back, wrapping his lips around your clit. 

You tug on his hair, earning another moan from him. 

Your head falls forward and you fight to keep your eyes open so you can watch him enjoy the taste of you. 

The sound of the front door slamming shut, causes you to freeze and look at your closed door, "Sh-it." You tap Colby's head, "My roommate." 

He lifts you up slightly, just enough for you to hear, "I'm not stopping." 

You're shocked at first, but that quickly subsides when his tongue slips back into you and his hands tighten on your waist. 

There's a knock on your door and the doorknob jiggles slightly, "Y/n. You in there?" 

"Y-yeah." You clear your throat quietly, trying to keep your voice steady, "What's up?" 

"Date was a total creep. Decided to ditch. Are you busy?" 

You glance down, "Um.. kind of.." you lay your hand over your mouth, tilting your head back as Colby continues to work you with his tongue. 

"Are you fucking someone?" She laughs slightly, "Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'll let.. you.. um.. yeah. Sorry. Ignore me." 

You hear her walk away and the tv in the living room switching on, turning up to a louder volume. 

You look down at Colby and laugh, "Oh my god." 

He nudges you, motioning for you to move and you do before he sits up. You look at him and cover your mouth to muffle your laughter. 

He laughs slightly before he leans in, "You were such a good girl." 

He smirks and kisses your forehead as his hands move up your back to undo your bra. He pulls the straps from your shoulders, down your arms and tosses the fabric to the floor. 

He dips his head down, kissing your neck. You let out a  quiet moan as he sucks a hickey into your neck. Your hands slide up his chest, gripping his shirt. 

He leans back, slipping off his shirt and tossing it before he pulls you into his lap. He keeps your panties pulled to the side as you sink down onto him, burying your face into his neck as you moan. 

Your arm wraps around his neck as you start to move, up and down, rocking your hip, anything to feel him inside of you. 

"Fuck." He breathes out as he lays back, hands tightly gripping your hips, "So fucking good." 

Your boobs slightly bounce with each of your motions. 

Your head falls back slightly as you squeeze his cock, whimpering out as he reaches up to pinch and pull at your nipples. 

"F-fuck." You gasp, wrapping your hand around his wrist. You look down at him, keeping your eyes on his. 

You lean down, lips on his and he swallows your moans easily as his hands slide around to hold you tight against him. 

He thrusts his hips upward, moaning lowly into your ear as he fucks you from underneath, "You feel so fucking good, baby girl. Fucking hell." 

You moan in response, your orgasm rolling in quicker and quicker, "F-fu-" you let out a long moan, unable to form words from all the pleasure that's consuming your body. 

"C'mon, baby. Cum for me." Colby coaches you, "You're so close." 

You nod once, pushing yourself up on his chest and moving your hips in a quick manor, "F-fuck. Fuck." 

You push your hips down and throw your head back, moaning as he picks up fucking you through your high. 

"That's it, that's my girl." Colby brushes hair from your face, cupping your cheek before sliding it down to your neck. 

He flips you onto your back, hand still on your neck as he continues thrusting. 

His grip tightens, squeezing the sides of your neck to slowly cut off your air supply. 

A muffle moan escapes as your eyes roll back. 

Colbys thrusts gradually turn sloppy and it's soon after, he pulls out, spilling his cum onto your waist. 

You stare up at the ceiling, trying to control your breathing for a few seconds. Colby lays next to you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, "So.. wanna go for a drive?" 

You laugh slightly, nodding as you look over at him, "I just gotta clean up first." 

He gets up, finding something for you to wipe off with, "Here, babe." You sit up slightly, taking the towel from him. 

"What am I gonna tell her?" You nod to the door and Colby shrugs, "Tell her whatever you want." 

You nod, "Okay I'll just... um.. maybe I'll just climb down the fire escape with you." 

Colby laughs, "You can't just leave her hanging, you gotta tell her something." You nod, "No. You're right." 

You stand up, slipping on the hoodie you stole from Colby and he smirks, "I like that."

You smile, "Thanks. You should see the guy I took it from." 

"Pretty cute?" Colby smiles and you nod, "Very cute." You laugh and walk over to change out of the lacy underwear into a regular pair before slipping on a pair of leggings. 

"Okay." Colby walks over, "I'll drive around and pick you up out front." You nod, "Okay. I'll be out when I can." 

He gently kisses your lips, "I love you." 

You smile, "I love you." 

You walk over with him, watching him climb out of the window and onto the escape. He smiles, giving you a small wave before he starts to descend down. 

You make sure he makes it to the bottom before you close and lock your window. You slip on your shoes and walk over to your door. 

You open it and to your surprise, your roommate is asleep on the couch. 

You quietly make your way to the door, grabbing your keys off the hook before walking out and running down to Colby's car. 

He leans over, opening the door for you and you get in, "She's asleep. I'll wake her up when I get back." 

Colby nods and lays his hand on your leg, "Where to?" 

You lay your hand on his, "Anywhere." 

After a few hours of driving around, you're parked in an empty parking lot, taking and kissing every now and then, just letting it be nothing but you two and the stars. 

"So I was thinking about telling Sam, mainly because he's going to want to know why I just up and left guys night." Colby laughs slightly and you look at him, "Wait. You just-" 

Colby nods, "When your girlfriend is sending you titty pictures and causing you to get a boner in a room full of guys, you'd leave, too." 

You laugh, "Sorrrryyy." 

He pinches your chin gently, "Nah. It's okay. I'm not complaining." 

You smile, leaning your head back on the headrest. You bite your lip, reaching up to write on the fogged up windshield. 

I, you draw a heart, then write you. 

He squeezes your hand, "You have no idea how much I love you." He brings your hand to his lips, pressing them to it, "I know being a secret is a lot harder than being public but I just.." 

"Colby. I understand. I've been around you and Sam for long enough, I know how your fan base can be, but in reality.. if anyone wants to drag my name through the mud for loving you.. then I don't consider them fans." 

He smiles, and leans over to you, "You're right." 

You smile, "I know." You laugh and peck his lips. 

"Speaking of Sam.. The other day, he almost found out about us." Colby looks over at you and you tilt your head, "Oh?" 

Colby smiles, "You just.. you have this thing about you, even when you're not around, that just makes me smile like a fucking idiot every time I see something that reminds me of you and he asked why I was so giddy and I almost said your name." 

You smile, "What did you see?" 

He laughs slightly, "I saw duck, and when it walked by the one bush.. the leaf on the bush looked like it was wearing a hat and I just knew you would find that hilarious." 

You laugh, "Oh my gosh, that's so funny." You nod, "You know me so well." You smile and run your hand through his hair, "Maybe we should tell Sam." 

As Colby pulls his phone out, headlights from a car shine onto Colby's and they get brighter the closer they get. 

"Oh shit." Colby mumbles and you look at him, "do you know who that is?" 

Colby nods, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Yeah. I do." 

The car whips around Colby's and pulls up next to the drivers side. Colby rests his hand down and puts his window down. 

You lean forward, watching as the window of the other car goes down. 

Not only do you see Sam in the drivers seat, but Jake and Johnnie are with and you can't help but laugh, "Oh my god." 

"You mother fuckers are busted." Jake says pointing. 

"I fucking knew it!" Sam yells, "I called that shit months ago." 

"What are you guys doing here?" Colby laughs. He looks to you and shrugs, "I'm sorry." 

You shake your head, "At least we don't have to worry about telling them anymore." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·. Thanks for reading, I'm sorry if this sucked. I haven't been in a writing mood lately, but I know you guys have been waiting, so I hope you enjoyed this. 

Let me know how you liked it. Love ya! 

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

#samandcolby-ownme #sam and colby #sam and colby one shots #colby brock #smut #dirty one shot #one shot smut #sam and colby smut #colby brock smut #sneaky link #colby brock fanfic #colby brock one shot #colby brock one shots #colby brock dirty imagines #colby brock x reader #colby brock smut one shot #dirty colby brock oneshots #colby brock dirty one shots #dirty colby brock #dirty oneshot

[erenxfrieda]

some nsfw-ish hcs? imagines ? for Death Note characters. minors don't read please.

tw: possible OOC, monsterfucking (with ryuk ofc), Light is a brat and a bit submissive , mention of spanking, L is a massive virgin, slight manipulation.

Someone really needs to grab Light by his hair and just spank him so hard that his bottom half will be red, and it's so painful to sit :(. Don't think that's what he usually lets anyone do; I don't even think he will even consider giving permission to do this to someone he loves or considers a tiny bit equal to him. This man only understands fear, and when he knows that he is cornered and actually has to appear submissive and play dumb to save his life, he will cooperate and bite his lip hard enough till it bleeds so he won't let any pathetic sound out. He's embarrassed and humiliated, and he totally doesn't like it. You would only be lucky if you are really strong and fit, also smarter than him. take away his little Death Note away and.. what else can he do? Don't bother to stop even if you slap him until he cries, he deserves it, and it will be harder to stop once you feel his small dick pressing against your thigh once you bend him over your lap.

.

L is a pervert. And a weirdo. Weird pervert. And he can't take care of yourself at all. Without Watari he would die, I believe. Imagine yourself being some sort of second assistant for L along with Watari. It is canon that L can't change his clothes by himself (or just doesn't want to), so Watari changes him and has a fucking washing machine to clean him. Well, let's say, you are the one who's tasked with doing it all for L. Even though the famous detective proved countless of times his status as the smartest one, he is still a simple human just like any of us, with simple needs, and he has the same body reactions to physical touch. Maybe, he doesn't really get horny as much as an average man, since he's all focused on his work, but the moment you started to wash his body, moving a wet cloth a bit lower down his torso or back, he will get hard. He doesn't notice it until you mention it or stare at it for a good minute or two. He will look down silently, then look up at you, biting on his nail and shrugging off nonchalantly, like, «Oh? My bad.»

.

Ryuk.

Ryuk doesn't really act as some sort of God of Death. You expect Shinigami to act all high and mighty, powerful, treat you like an insect, even threaten to kill you every few seconds, just so you will not forget your place, filthy human >:(. But with Ryuk it's different. Once you realize his addiction to apples, it's all over for him. Just think about abusing this fact against him. Ryuk is smart, of course, he had many people before you, but he is still easy to manipulate if you know what to say. You need something from Shinigami? Well, Ryuk can share with you some knowledge, but he can choose whether to tell you; after all, it's not in the rules and he can decide should he tell you or not. Okay! No apples for him for a week. Two. Month? Oh, you should be such a sadist or have a strong nerve to see him struggling with the effects of lacking sweet, juicy apples..! He will twitch, stand on his hands, and his body will twist as if he were in pain, this annoying Shinigami will beg you for it nonstop. He has no shame when it comes to apples, and it's hilarious, if you think about it. I think you should give him some time, and you can train him like your personal dog. He will eat from your hand; do all the tricks if you grant him a treat later. And when you somehow trick him into experiencing a weird monsterfucking session with you, he is on top of you, making you feel so small and tiny, while you do all the work with those hips of yours, whining and moaning in pleasure, you can notice him salivating. Saliva trickles down his chin, as his hands gripping your body tightly, leaving small scratches on your skin, you think, is it because of how good you make him feel, or is it him thinking about how he can finally get his dose of apples once you finish?

#death note x reader #death note smut #light yagami x reader #l lawliet x reader #ryuk x reader #tw monsterfucking #sub light yagami #death note x reader smut

[not-quite-there-myself]

When You Cry

Synopsis: What they do when they see you cry. Notes: Headcanon format; gender neutral reader; refers to reader as "Summoner"; prompt inspired by @/tiredtealuvr; this has been in my drafts for a really long time, Arcana Twilight Tumblr I'm sorry I didn't get this out to you sooner. It's also been a while since I played, so I hope they weren't too out of character.

Arcturus

He wants nothing more than to see you smile bright and be happy, especially when he's with you. So when he sees your face stained with tears, he can't help but feel like crying himself. Just what's gotten you so upset that you started crying?

He doesn't ask questions first, he'd rather comfort you instead. He wants you to be comfortable and would love nothing more than to see you smiling again. Your smile was always one of his favourite things in Bound Arlyn.

Whatever you need, you can count on Arcturus to get it for you! At least, he'll try to get them to the best of his ability. He can only do so much, but if it's a hug you need, or your favourite food, or even just a moment to relax, he'll do his best to grant all your wishes.

If you ever feel comfortable to talk to him about what made you so upset after you've calmed down, he'll be happy to lend an ear. He'll be your number one cheerleader and tell you that everything's going to be okay; things are just bound to get better, and Arcturus is sure of it.

"Please don't cry, Summoner! Don't worry, everything's going to be okay. You'll feel better in no time, I guarantee it!"

Pollux

The moment he sees you crying is when he drops all the plans he had and rushes over to you. Any classes he was going to attend? He can skip them. An event with Queen Tet that he's helping out with? That can wait. He pushes everything aside to be with you, and he hopes that the reason you aren't crying isn't somehow his fault.

He asks you wants wrong and if you're okay. Are you hurt anywhere? Is there someone he needs to pick a fight with? Well, maybe he won't pick a fight, but he'll definitely be mad at the person who made you cry—if it, in fact, was a person that made you cry.

If you don't want to talk, that's totally fine by him. He knows just as well as anyone that sometimes you just don't feel like telling people what you're upset about. He absolutely doesn't push either, he wouldn't wanna make you cry more and make things worse.

There's a chance he'll have candy or some sweets on him—perfect for snacking on throughout the day—and share some with you if you want! Doesn't matter which one you take, honestly. Even if it's his favourite one, he'll keep quiet because he knows you probably need it more than he does. Whatever you want, he's going to make you happy again if it's the last thing he does! Or at least until you've calmed down.

"Summoner, Summoner! Are you okay?! No one hurt you or anything, right? If you need anything just say the word!"

Alpheratz

He might actually be sleeping when he wakes up and gets a weird feeling; he can't help but feel like something is off. When he sees you and notices the tears falling from your eyes, his heart feels like it's being toyed with.

Alpheratz asks you what happened first, but quickly follows up to ask if you're okay too. He sort of stands there awkwardly and hopes that you're okay with explaining why you're in such a state, or else he isn't sure what he's supposed to do. He isn't the best at comforting people, but he'll try.

If you don't want to talk about it, he's 100% okay with that. He gets it, sometimes you're just not ready or don't feel like it. If you want a distraction, he'll probably try to think up something. Maybe going out for a walk, or maybe it's sleeping it off.

If someone else is making you sad and you tell him, chances are that person won't be making you sad in the future anymore. He might not say it gently, but seeing you down leaves his sleep schedule a little messed up; and of course he's only doing this so you don't get bothered and neither does he. Yeah, that's definitely the only reason.

"I'm no good at cheering people up, but I guess if it's bothering you so much, might as well tell someone, right? No pressure."

Spica

Spica's attention is on you as soon as he sees tears on your face. It's almost as if an alarm has set off in him; something is wrong because you are upset. He tells you to calm yourself and reminds you to breathe if you're crying too hard. He makes sure you're alright physically while he asks why you're crying.

Did someone make you cry? Did something happen? Are you homesick? Despite wanting to ask, he refrains from questioning further in case it makes you overwhelmed. He may sit you down if you're somewhere where that's possible and speak to you in a calm manner, if not a little softer.

Whatever you need, he will try his best to help you feel better. If a distraction is what you want, Spica will gladly help with that, though his approach is more on the productive side of things. He may suggest accompanying him to finish some errands or get some work done quietly together in the committee room or a library.

He lets you know that you're safe and secure, that he'll make sure nothing makes you upset while he's with you. Even if he's not with you, he takes care in paying more attention to your needs. At the end of the day, Spica will offer you his time, because that's one of the only ways he knows for sure that he can do to help you. He can be very busy, but he'll push all other priorities to the side if it means making you feel better.

"If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to tell me, Summoner. Your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical

Sirius

Even if you hide away somewhere, Sirius might have an idea of where to find you. Something's wrong and he can almost feel it like uncomfortably warm air. It almost pains him to see you like that, and a part of him wonders if he might be the one to blame. Did he do something you didn't like?

Whatever the case, he strides up to you casually, if not with a brisk hint of surprise. He asks you why you're crying, his brows mildly raised. You can tell him, or not. He doesn't care too much... Or maybe he does and he's just downplaying how much he cares. He's a good listener and will lend an ear even if you think it's not a big deal.

Want a distraction? Sirius is great at that. If you want someone to console you, he can do that too... though it might be a little back-handed from Sirius. He'll try to be nice but he also can't resist a quick comment. Nothing too mean though, don't fret. He knows when to not push it too far.

If, in the end, all you want to do is do nothing, Sirius will gladly do nothing with you, too. Stars, he might even encourage it, and tease you about how your tears might be a ploy to get him to spend time with you. It's not, though, he knows. But he doesn't mind getting jabbed or lightly pushed by you if it means you stop crying.

"No need to tell me what's wrong, Summoner, though I'm all ears if you want to tell me~ Shall I accompany you for a while?"

Vega

Once Vega sees your face, it's all he needs to come rushing towards you. Similarly to Spica, he checks if you're well physically. If anyone hurt you, they won't be getting off scot-free. He almost doesn't hold back with the questions though. He wants to know who or what made you cry like this right away.

No matter how big or small it is, it still matters to Vega. It clearly matters to you if it made you cry, so he'll take whatever you have to say seriously. He'll insist that whatever you're crying about, it's not silly, it's not ridiculous, it's not stupid. Even if it is small and he can't relate, he'll still sympathize with you to the best of his ability.

He's a wonderful listener, and especially patient if it's you. He'll likely do almost anything you want, if that's what you wish. If you want, he can get you your favourite snack or perhaps there's a book in the library you like. Do you want to take a walk outside in the courtyard? See flowers in the greenhouse? Whatever you want, Vega may just do it. He does have his limits though, don't tease him too much... but chances are, he'll let it slide.

He'll remember whatever it is that made you cry if you tell him, or if he finds out by some other means. And he'll do whatever it takes to prevent it as well. Seeing you cry is like a punch in the gut; a smile suits you much better than a tear streaked face.

"Summoner, what happened? Are you hurt? If so, I... Here, use this handkerchief. No, it's okay, I don't mind. May I stay by your side for now?"

#nqt writing #arcana twilight #arcana twilight arcturus #arcana twilight pollux #arcana twilight alpheratz #arcana twilight spica #arcana twilight sirius #arcana twilight vega

[ssentimentals]

seventeen members as their natal charts: woozi

sun in sagittarius, moon in aries

he loves a good challenge, his straightforward and self-assured personality can make him come off as arrogant but he's not like that; this man won't accept anything but the truth, he's fearless and very generous to people he loves, enjoys solitude just as much as he loves big crowds (but not being the center of attention there)

'looks like it's gonna be hard,' you mutter, staring at bunch of documents in front of you. 'do you think you can-'

'i know i can,' jihoon interrupts, not even bothering to look up.

you nod. jihoon's curt answer may have irritated other people, but not you. after working together for almost half a year, you realized that these kind of replies from him are simple statements of facts, not just arrogant atempts of showing off. still, you ask: 'need any help?'

jihoon blinks, finally looking up from his laptop. no one really sticks around with him, always uncomfortable with his silence or too straightforward manners, so your question surprises him. you, in general, surprise him in many ways and part of him desperately wants to reach out, because he may or may not have written dozen songs about your eyes and how your smile makes his day better. 'um,' he lets out eloquently. 'only if you're okay with helping.'

you nod and he breathes out in relief, shutting his laptop. work is easier with you, huge pile of documents gets sorted out much faster with two pair of hands and jihoon nods in satisfaction as you finish the last one. 'thank you,' he says sincerely. you smile and your smile makes him feel... things. makes him want to get upclose and personal with this smile, maybe even be the reason behind it. he's not dumb, he knows there might not be any other chance, so he barrels on: 'do you have plans for tonight?'

jihoon is certainly not the one to beat around the bush, but you're still surprised, looking up at him. 'you're asking because..?'

'i heard new thai place opened around here, thought it'd be good to try it out,' he meets your gaze, looking serious and confident. 'i'd like to treat you, if you're free.' and then, because if he started he has to go until the end, giving all in, he adds to clear things up: 'it's a date.'

silence that stretches makes him nervous, but when smile blossoms on your face and your cheeks color just a tiny bit, he thinks that risks always are worth taking in the end. smile stretches his own lips and he mirrors your excitement: 'i'll take that smile for a 'yes' then?'

he doesn't tell you that he heard you talking about really wanting to try out that place and nor does he tell you that he already went there and tried out bunch of dishes, just so he would know what to order when he'll finally get the courage to ask you out. you nod at him and something else twirls inside of his chest, warming it up. something akin to hope, that he thinks will turn out just great.

in relationship he can sometimes be insensitive and have a temper, but willl ultimately be the most protective partner ever! he longs for domesticity and is very much 'i don't see anyone but you' type when he's in love, he needs someone who's good at avoiding conflicts and can sometimes push him to change

'jihoon, that was too rude,' you say, closing the door with a loud sigh.

'he had his hands all over you,' jihoon huffs, shaking his coat off angrily. he doesn't get jealous easily and rarely has problems with other people, but his protective instincts flare up whenever someone gets too familiar with you. 'and you looked anxious, you know i can't just stay still at times like that.'

'i thought you didn't see,' you mumble quietly enough but of course jihoon catches it.

he grabs your hand, pulling you closer to him. 'i'm always looking at you,' he says seriously, not understanding how your heart flutters at those words. 'babe, i- i'm looking only at you. even when we are surrounded by other people, my eyes are always on you.'

and it's the truth. he keeps his eyes on you not in some creepy way, but just looking at you grounds him, he checks on you cause need to make sure you're fine is exactly what it is - a need. you smile at him, but still don't let go of the situation, telling him that he took everything too far. jihoon nods, knows that you're right, but he also knows that you won't ever nag him about it. this is the best thing about you, how you let something not critical go, knowing him too well. 'that was probably too rude, okay. you know i won't go and apologize to him, he did make you uncomfortable and i won't stand for that, ever.'

you sigh fondly, reaching out to caress his cheek softly. 'i know,' you say. 'my protector.' you didn't say it in a mocking way and jihoon knows it. he really is your protector in the sweetest and purest way; someone who you always wanted and never thought you'd have.

'i'll always protect you,' he says matter-or-factly with no traces of joke in his voice. but then his face changes as he shyly suggests: 'let's drink some tea?'

you almost laugh at this, but hold back. nodding, you lean in, smiling when he pecks your lips and both of your cheeks lovingly. never have you ever thought that jihoon will be like this, this protective and this caring at the same time. 'let's,' you agree easily.

you drop the conflict before it could grow big, because it's not worth it. nothing is really worth it at the face of jihoon's wide smile as he understands that the subject is dropped and that you're not angry at him anymore. sometimes words are not needed and silent understanding that passes between you two is more important. he hugs you tight and that's all that's needed as you both settle into comfortable domesticity, the one you both protect fiercely and put above everything else.

a/n: a bit surprising for jihoon i think, but i love his chart so much!!

my masterlist is here

taglist @prpldahy

#seventeen imagine #seventeen fluff #seventeen reaction #woozi imagine #woozi seventeen #woozi scenarios #seventeen jihoon #seventeen lee jihoon #lee jihoon #woozi fluff #woozi x reader #svt woozi #seventeen #svt jihoon #svt x reader

[sensei-venus]

So what if one day chubby reader comes to the dealership because she needs her car looked at. Daniel comes up to her to ask what she needs because she looks so shy and lost, so he wants to help. She's also really cute. So she explains how her car is making their really weird sound and he tells her he'll personally take a look at it, so they go to the garage and he takes off his suit jacket and rolls up his sleeves. He puts on a little show for the cute chubby girl. She must have just gotten out of college is what he's thinking, as she's only wearing jeans and her uni tee shirt. She's nervously checking her phone while trying not to check him out, not being too subtle.

He tells her what the problem is and that it's fixable, she'll just have to come in and speak to his wife about some paperwork and payment while the crew starts working on it. He leads her inside and to Amanda's office, introduces them and sits her down. He explains the situation and tells Amanda what's going to need to be done in order to fix it. It's not too pricy so he doesn't even want to bother with making Reader pay for it, which she objects to because she can pay for it, she's good for it. However, Amanda agrees with her husband, smiling so kindly at Reader and telling her that she won't have to pay a single pretty penny for it. After all, she's not even the person in the dealership she needs to pay. She knows there's a whole other reason her husband brought this sweet little thing into her office and it's quite evident by the tent in his pants.

Next thing Reader knows, her pants are around her ankles, her shirt is pulled over her tits, Amanda's dress is bunched up around her hips, and their pussies are rubbing together so beautifully. She's whining on Amanda's lap, flustered and hiding her face in the older woman's shoulder. All while Daniel is jerking his cock while he watches them. Amanda's enjoying herself as she plays with Reader's pussy, telling her how cute she is while running her fingers through her folds. She's asking her all sorts of questions, getting to know her, telling her how adorable it is that she's just graduated uni and is going to be a children's teacher. She asks if Reader likes kids and smirks at her husband as the young woman nods into her shoulder.

Then Daniel picks her up off of his wife and lays her out on the desk, rubbing his cock through her folds. She's so whiny, whimpering as she watches them kiss over her. Amanda starts playing with her fat tits, pinching her nipples and groping her. Next her hands glide down her belly and hips, groping them as well as she speaks to her husband. "She's so pretty, Daniel, you really know how to pick 'em." He just chuckles, flattered, as he taps the end of his cock on Reader's swollen clit.

"Well when they're cute like she is, I can't help myself."

Reader is just there, loving how they're talking about her as if she can't hear them. Her pussy is drooling, slick and ready for a big cock. She reaches down and pulls her lips apart, showing off her perfect little hole. "Please," she begs, "i-i need you..."

"Hear that, honey? She needs you," Amanda teases and starts rubbing slow circles onto Reader's clit, making her moan.

"Who am I to deny her?"Daniel asks and positions his cock at her entrance. He pushes in and feels how tight her walls are. He groans and shoves the rest of his cock into her u told he's buried to the hilt, making her feel full. "Oh fuck, I'm gonna ruin this fat little cunt."

"Ruin me..." Reader babbles softly, already feeling hazy because she's so full of cock and Amanda's making her head all fuzzy. "Please..."

"Don't worry, baby," Amanda soothes her, playing with her tit and clit at the same time. "We will... you're not gonna want anyone else after we breed you."

"Breed... breed me?"

"That's right," Daniel says, slowly pulling out until onto the tip is left in her clenching hole. "You're not leaving here until your cunt's full of my cum."

He shoves himself back into her roughly, setting the pace immaculately while Amanda kisses her to keep her quiet.

(This just came to mind and I thought you'd enjoy it)

- gemini sensei

( @gemini-sensei )

This is just amazing, uhhhh Iv been thinking about this for a while now. Had a similar thought a while aback and this just makes me think back on it.

But yessss.

I could imagine Daniel and Amanda talking about the idea of adding someone new to their relationship. The kids are mostly on their own for the most part and never around, making them have more alone time and even a bit lonely around the house.

Both of them even think about kids again, just for fun. The idea of having the sound of little feet running around the house again. Amanda cooed at the idea and so did Daniel. It’s constantly on their minds.

When Daniel pulls the cute little chubby girl into her office to talk about her “car payment” she knew instantly that Daniel was interested and trying to show off/hint to Amanda “I like this one, we should keep her” but also like you said, his boner isn't helping. As Amanda asks her questions she slowly starts taking a liking to her personality, not just her hot body.

The tight little college shirt isn't helping though, because it's barley keeping her tits in, it's tight against her belly and arms.

The minute she has the cubby girls fat pussy grinding against her own, she's sold on the idea of keeping her for themselves. It just feels so right. The girl just fits perfectly with her, with them.

When she mentions the idea of breeding her, it pure. She wanted to see her husband destroy they girls pussy, she wanted her to he filled to the brim with hot cum. She wanted to see it drip down her folds and drip out onto her desk. Even the idea of seeing the all round and pregnant was sending her.

Daniel is just as much on bored when be grins at her and thrusts back in.

(I love this so much omg, if you end up making this please tag me or something, this is so good.)

#cobra kai #cobra kai blog #cobra kai ask blog #poly daniel and amanda #poly relationship #cobra kai smut #cobra kai smut thought #smut thoughts #daniel larusso x reader #daniel larusso x chubby reader #cobra kai daniel larusso #cobra kai amanda #amanda larusso #cobra kia amanda #amanda larusso x reader #amanda larusso x chubby reader

[marshmallowprotection]

Ooh I just thought of something!!

Remember at the end of Saeran's route (GE) and he tells us that we can either refer to him as Saeran or Ray?

Obviously we continue to call him Saeran, because that's what's shown and is actually his real name

But what if we decided that we wanted to call him Ray? I know that there's a little easter egg(?) in the game where he reacts to it and I think it was...slightly different to how he does when we call him Saeran? I didn't choose that option though so I don't exactly know what it says, only that he's okay with it

So...what would happen if we decided that we wanted to call him Ray from then on, instead?

He accepts it of course, but how would he really feel, knowing that he was once Ray, a man who was kind and gentle, but whole-heartedly convinced that he was nothing but weakness?

Wouldn't Saeran then be...reminded of all that?

Wouldn't he be in at least some way bothered or even upset if it was that we kept and wanted to refer to him as Ray?

Grr I can't phrase things as well as I want to get my question across because I'm not the greatest analyser of characters but I'm just so curious about this!

Here's the thing about that that I don't think a lot of people have had the time to consider. So, Saeran Choi is his birth name. People know him as Saeran Choi. The name that people expect to use is Saeran. It won't occur to anyone that he might use another name unless he tells them outright that it's okay to call him something else. He lets people call him Saeran for the sake of convenience because it's not wrong. It isn't wrong to assume that he is Saeran.

His name is Saeran. He identifies as Saeran. But, he also identifies as Ray.

However, there are only three people in this world who know about the existence of Ray. It’s you, Rika, and V. But, for the most part, it’s you and Rika. V didn’t understand who Ray was, and even when you tried to explain what was happening when he visited you to bring you some food, he didn’t get it, pushing the information to the wayside because his goal was to get you and Saeran out of Mint Eye. 

So, that leaves Rika knowing Ray to be the child she wanted to raise as her son to make up for her sins, and you as the person who knew Ray to be someone special to you. How do you even begin to explain to the RFA what happened? You don't. He even mentioned during the initial Good Ending that he didn't want to talk about everything until we had a chance to talk to V. He didn't want to discuss Rika or any of the details without his permission.

But, we know what happened to that. V didn't come back and let that happen. Instead, we were confronted with a sea of problems that did not stop for weeks. So, the RFA has no idea who Ray is if we mention him, or that GE Saeran even goes by Ray.

It's hard to explain to your friends this situation. It's not easy for him to put into words what he went through in his childhood, much less what he went through at Mint Eye. It's not that he's afraid of them misunderstanding or not getting what he feels. It's more so that he doesn't know how to put it into words.

There seem to be much more important matters at hand in his mind, such as saving his brother, so he doesn't think much of it. It's not like they're wrong by using one name. 

He isn't in a place where he will feel like there's a reason to be complicated over these feelings. You sort of already worked out all of these details in his route. So, there's really nothing here that would make him feel bad. He already knows who he is as a person and he knows you understand that. Use whatever name feels right in the moment, be it Ray or Saeran. He is Saeran and Ray.

There’s no wrong answer. When he's ready to tell the others about his past, he'll tell them with you by his side. But for now, it's a lot to tell people about when they're still getting to know him. he's still getting to know himself, frankly. 

This is the first time you've mentioned Ray by name to the RFA and Yoosung is the one that lets you know what's up. They don't know a single thing about Ray. All they know is that Saeran is Saeran. That's sad to think about, but it was more convenient for GE Saeran to let them use that name for the time being. You know who Ray is... who Ray was before he and Suit Saeran became GE Saeran.

As long as you love Ray and know him, that's all that matters to him.

As a reminder, GE Saeran is Ray and Suit Saeran. During those final hours at Mint Eye, they fused to become him. It was almost a sort of unconscious conclusion they reached... they were going to be strong together, but that's why a lot of GE Saeran's words feel so messy as he meets with you again.

He's still trying to understand if he's Ray or Suit Saeran. He's both and neither, something new and something old at the same time, and it's hard for him to explain until he has you in the garden and it all clicks.

Click "Ray" when he saves you.

Click "Saeran" when he saves you.

In the garden is where it starts to come together and he's able to put it into words.

As he continues to speak to you, the game pointedly lets you use either of his names to refer to him. Neither is wrong. Those are his names. It actually excites him and validates him to hear you use the two names! He loves hearing them. You made the name Ray have meaning when it was meant to be meaningless and you reminded him that Saeran meant something, too, and he was allowed to have it.

I genuinely don't think he would be upset if you decided to use one name more than the other. He is clearly comfortable being referred to by either name. He doesn't need to be insecure or afraid that you love one side of him more than the other. You already proved you cared about both Ray and Saeran.

Why in the world would he ever doubt that? Why should there be even an inkling of doubt in his heart when you were the one that taught him that both sides of him deserve to be loved?

#mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #character analysis #ask #anon #mod kait #saeran #saeran choi #ge saeran #saeray #saeran mystic messenger #saeran mm #mysme saeran #mm saeran #saeran mysme #ray mm #ray mysme #ray mystic messenger #mystic messenger ray #mm ray #mysme ray

[tiredly101]

Aren't you a jewel?

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Killian Jones x Emma Swan Brother Male!Reader

Timeline: Killian Jones flirting with Emma at beginning until you put him up against a wall and tell him to stop hitting on your twin sister. Male!Reader went with alongside Emma when she was put in the tree as a baby (just imagine the tree takes three persons instead of only two). (After they took Peter Pan out of Henry's body)

Warning: He found what happened in the timeline attractive. Male!Reader is kind of OCC called as Jack throughout the story (you can change the name). Relentless flirting.

His nickname for you: Jewel

It wasn't weird that the great Captain Hook found a woman, Emma Swan, attractive. He mostly found most woman attractive when they have a sort of bite, what he didn't expect was that it could happen if a man that was handsome did the same.

Jack was as normal as the next guy, son of the famous Prince Charming and Snow White; complete opposite in personality since he would not give a fuck about anyone's feeling if it was a life or death situation; he was a little bit impulsive too but still a great guy. When he found out there was a pirate hitting on his twin sister, who literally looks nothing like him, he decided to take action on it unlike his nice-to-the-bone father.

Captain Hook pov

I'm walking down the docks when I see a gorgeous man; he was perfectly build, had beautiful curly black hair with some stunning grey eyes that popped out because of the slight eyeliner he had on. He was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a black long sleeve shirt that still showed of his perfectly sculpted arms. Apart from all of that he was wearing some beautiful black boots.

"Aren't you jewel?", I thought while I looked at him as discreetly that I could. I guess I didn't do such a great job since he started walking my way. He didn't stop when he reached where I was standing so I instinctively started to back up until I finally was against a wall.

When he finally reaches me, I put my hands up out of instinct, well a hook and a hand, in a try of self defense but he simply grabs both and puts them on top of my head preventing movement and one of his legs ended up pressing against my crotch while he leaned over to see my face better. I can now tell that his grey eyes have specks of blue and his face was littered with freckles that just added to his beauty. What I definitely couldn't help but notice that the pressure of his knee on my crotch brought a sense of pleasure that wasn't intended by the beautiful man.

— You're quite handsome which doesn't help on threatening you but stay the hell away from my sister — the man said with a voice that just matched his look. This is bloody intoxicating.

— Mate, you may have to tell me who your sister is, aye? — I said while straining my voice slightly at the feeling of his knee moving a bit.

— Emma Swan and I'm Jack Swan — said Jack while he held eye contact in such a way that made me swallow harshly.

— I won't bother her again mate, you can trust me in that — I said while I clench my jaw harder at the feeling of his leg moving but he seemed to notice and he smirked while he moved his leg harsher making me whimper against my will.

— I believe you — Jack said before letting my hands go and walking away with a slight sway on his hips. I watched as he walked away while my eyes trained at his ass after I looked at front he floor (like in the gift). I smile to myself since I now need to woo the handsome man know as Jack Swan.

-

I'm taking a sip from my coffee at Granny's when I see Jack enter with Henry next to him. I can't help but overhear their conversation.

— Let me get this straight, little man. You want to check out the mines that everyone is banned from because of security issues because there might be some magical thingy that might help stop Rumple from killing Captain Hook aka Killian Jones? — asked Jack while sitting two or three seats away from me, not noticing my mere existing.

— That's correct — said Henry while he looked at Jack expecting an answer.

— So my opinion's are, get killed by Regina aka your mom because I didn't stop you, get killed by my sister aka your other mom because I didn't go with you or get killed by my nephew aka you because you dragged me to the mines? — asked Jack while Henry nodded while he looked at Jack with hope. Jack looked like he was thinking before I saw him shrug.

— I'm going with the third option, just let me change and get actual things we need in a mine. Just wait for me, here have some money and buy yourself a hot chocolate or something while you wait — Said Jack before walking off after giving Henry the money.

Some minutes passed and I see Jack with a tight white shirt and some loose military pants making me swallow hard yet again.

— Let's go little man, adventure and possible death from your uncle awaits — said Jack while he and Henry walked off towards the mines. I should probably tell the Charming's that their kid and grandchild are both going towards danger.

-

I finally arrive at the apartment and knock on the door. I'm received by Snow White otherwise known as Mary Margaret and Prince Charming also known as David. I can see in the background Emma Swan and Regina, or the Evil Queen, talking over a cup of coffee.

— I'm going to make it short mate's and lassie's, Henry and Jack are going towards the mines that she banned the public from going to — I said while I pointed at Regina while everyone looked at each other in what seemed to be panic.

— Well, what are we waiting for? — asked David while everyone started to leave the apartment heading towards the abandoned mines.

-

When we get there, the first thing we see is Henry looking around in panic until his eyes land in us where he makes a sign to follow him.

— C'mon, hurry! — said Henry as we all ran after him, following him. I can't help but wonder where Jack is.

We look around and see Henry running towards Jack whom is laying in the ground while some blood come from his head and from a big shard of cristal stabbed in his leg.

I run towards Jack and pick him up while I let the other's guide me to the hospital. I look at Jack face and see how his eyes open slightly making him stare at me. I smile at him and see how a small blush spreads though his cheeks before he closes his eyes again with a sight.

— You told on Henry and me, didn't you? — Jack asked me while his face scrunched in slight pain while he snuggled closer to my chest. I look at him and smile to myself.

— Aye, mate — I said while I kept on following the rest of the Charming's. I feel some lips in my check making me stop for a second before going back to running. I look at Jack and I see him smiling like if he didn't do anything, like if he won a game.

I stop in my tracks and give Jack a kiss. I gave him a peck but then I gave him another one and another and another until we were kissing passionately. I feel him moan quietly when I enter my tounge in his mouth and with that little insetive I started sucking and exploring every single corner of his mouth.

— Hook! Stop kissing my son and get your ass inside of the car — screamed David making me pull away from Jack's mouth with a smile and a bit of embarrassment but Jack gave me another bruising kiss while he pulled my hair and then let me run to the truck.

Looks like I won a battle but it seems Jack won the war, yet again...

#Killian Jones #Killian x male reader #Male reader is Jack Swan #male reader fanfic #lgbtq #Male reader #once upon a time #ouat #4drinkames #ouat fandom

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

How would the ROs react if their MC is a very affectionate person and they suddenly stop ? Because someone told them that they are very annoying and this excess of affection can make ROS uncomfortable and even lose interest in them.

I am assuming this is at the relationship stage?

Cassandra: She would pick up on it immediately and be concerned it's because MC is unhappy or angry with her. Since she is a very direct person she will ask you upfront about it, if you say it's because you think your being annoying she will reassure you and chalk it up to MC’s usual issues flaring up. But if you tell her it's because someone made a comment, now she is mad. She low key sometimes seems mad at you when she is actually mad at someone else who isn't there because she yells at you. (Like a Latina mom; if you know, you know.)

"Are you kidding me? Why would you listen to what random stranger would have to say about OUR relationship? The hell do they know? If I had a problem about it don't you think, oh I don't know... That I would say something?!"

Once she calms down she will apologize to you for yelling.

Valeria: It would actually take a while for her to notice since she kinda enjoys some space to breathe and not be smothered. But she will think it's you giving her the usual space she needs when the physical affection becomes to much but it's the lack of verbal affection that will have her attention immediately.

“Uhh, hey? What’s up with you? Why you being weird?”

She will begin to pester you on why you have stopped giving her affection and when she finds out the reason why; she will pout and roll her eyes.. “Ok.. and? Like, I know I get fussy if you smoother me but we do a good job at managing that. But why does what somebody says about how they think our relationship works matter? Oh my Lord, was it one of my brothers? Which one. Tell me.”

Tomás: He will think it is because of something he did. He will look all guilty with the biggest puppy eyes and try to do some sweet things for you and if you don’t come around he will ask what is it that he did to make you mad at him. When you tell him it’s becuse of what someone said he will make a deadpan “Seriously?” face.

“Listen mí querido, if this was back when we were bearly together I might of agreed that reframing from heavy affection would of been best, out of respect for my comfort. But mí amour, we have worked through this and I have loved you all the more for it. You have been so patient with me and we have talked through our issues, heh, you were the one who thought me that… Do not worry querido, if something bothers me; I will tell you. Ignore what anyone else says.”

-

Ludovica: Also thinks it’s because of something she did. She leans on you and lightly tugs on your clothes when she wants affection, when she notices that it is not winning her any affection she gets depressed. When she feels like she did something wrong and/or your mad at her, she will distance from you to try to get out of your way and stop taking care of herself. Thinking that she is a burden and that she is inconveniencing you. When you try to comfort her but don’t do the ways that she is used to you doing she will still be depressed until you talk to her honestly on way you’ve changed.

Aurelio: Will annoy the ever loving shit out of you.

Not going to lie, Aurelio is not a sexist man, he is quite a progressive thinker actually, (honestly maybe the most progressive compared to the rest of the more traditional RO's and characters). But, if MC is a woman; he might honestly just consider this as a typical "Getting mad and ignoring him for no reason" kind of woman thing. It has happened often in his past relationships lol. If your a man he is sadly going to rope you into "acting like a woman" sort of thought.

On the bright side, he won't say any of that to your face and will just default to doing everything he knows how, just to annoy you.

Buys into the way of manly thinking that if your lady/man is ignoring you, is probably mad and you don't know why:

When in doubt, poke the bear until it shouts.

That way he will get straight to the root of the problem, when he finds out it's over something (in his mind) this dumb; he will laugh and kiss your face.

"Honestly, you had me this worried that I had made you mad and all the fuss was just about some idiota saying I wouldn't like all of your attention on me? Really? Baby, whenever have I not made it clear that I love being the bell of the ball and the absolute center of attention? I want all of you affection, always."

Elio: You would think that he wouldn't notice or care but if he is used to receiving you affection, he will notice it when that affection stops.

Will stare at you like a cat until you look at him and ask point blank, "No cuddles? :/"

Explain why and he will tell you that the person is stupid, now give him love.

#omwat #OMWAT #ask #ludovica #cassandra #valeria #aurelio #elio #tomas

[hambonusmaximus]

This will very much be a long personal post, so feel free to skip this if you don't care enough about what's going on in my life.

(Also mentions of depression if that sort of thing bothers you)

Also also, I'm just jotting down thoughts as they come to me, so my points might end up disjointed.

As I mentioned above, this post is mostly going to be talking about my depression, where I believe it stems from and how its affecting me currently. This isn't meant to be pointed at anyone in particular, these are just what I'm going through and how I feel about it.

For whatever reason, I really feel like my depression has really been kicked into overdrive lately, and its got me thinking about why, and what I should possibly do about it. Its honestly been really hard to enjoy things lately, and me wanting to spend time with friends just makes me feel like I'm being a bother most of the time. I know that they would tell me that I'm not a bother, but I can't shake the feeling that me trying to insert myself into their lives just makes me an annoyance that everyone would be better off without. I worry that I come off as some attention-seeker that craves validation, or that I'm constantly trying to make conversations about me, and while there is definitely a part of me that desires validation, which I'll get more into in a bit, I genuinely do not mean to make things about me all the time. I guess maybe I try to make myself more relatable and that's where these thoughts come from, I just hope that I'm the only one that thinks that.

As for that point about needing validation from others, that I believe stems from the part of my life where most everyone seemed to hate me for seemingly no reason. I won't go into my entire life story, because no one wants to hear that, but I will just say that, from around 6th grade all the way up until my 30's, I would constantly be belittled, insulted, bullied, beat up, and told that I'm a lesser person for just being who I am. I never had many friends growing up, even well into my adult life, and even some of the people I considered friends would eventually turn their backs on me. I was miserable for so long. It got to the point where I just wanted it to end. I would have accepted death at any point during that time. Not enough to take my own life, but I wouldn't have fought against it either way.

Suddenly, in the last couple of years, things starting getting better. I was getting promoted at my job and earning more money, I was paying off credit card debt that I never thought would have been possible... and most importantly of all, I reconnected with an online friend from years ago, one that I never actually figured would connect with me again. Then he introduced me to more of his friends, and then more, and suddenly I'm surrounded by so many wonderful people that all seem to really like me. It felt sort of overwhelming, and to be honest it still does at times, but I actually felt like I was worthy of love and praise rather than just being some nobody that didn't matter to anyone. I've never had this many friends at one time, and its been incredible to say the very least.

However, that brings me to my next problem; the feeling that I'm just an awful friend. I don't like having this feeling, but I cannot help it some times. I generally don't reach out to talk with friends in DM's, because (again) I don't want to be a bother, so I prefer to wait and see if they would reach out to me. It feels selfish of me to expect others to initiate a conversation when I can't bring myself to do so.

Another problem is, as I mentioned before, I feel like I try to insert myself into other people's lives without considering their feelings about it. I do want to be a part of my friends' worlds, as much as they are a part of mine, but again I get this gnawing voice in my head that tells me I'm being selfish. Like, two friends could be having a conversation about something, and I feel like I have to feel included somehow. I don't do it intentionally, or maliciously, but it feels like it comes off like I do. I hate that I feel like I can't help myself sometimes.

Regardless of all that, there is one thing that worries me most about my new friends; that feeling that, inevitably, I'll either say or do something that will drive them all away, and leave me with no one left to care, back where I started those years ago when I was at my lowest. That worry has been keeping me from really enjoying the things I want to do, like playing games or making art, and even hanging out with those same friends. Perhaps that's why those feelings of me being a bother to everyone is so prominent in my mind.

I don't really know what all I could do to change the way I think. I also don't expect this post to be able to change anything either. I suppose its just a way for me to put this all out there so others are aware of what I'm going through mentally. It does feel kind of nice to be able to vent this all out in some way that doesn't feel intrusive or mandatory to others. I also don't want this to seem like engagement-bait or whatever, that's not really a thing I like to do.

If you've read up to this point, I really appreciate you taking the time to do so. If you are a friend of mine, please don't feel pressured to check in on me or try to explain anything to me. These are simply my thoughts, not pointed at anyone but myself. I love and cherish you all, you mean the world to me, and nothing will change that.

#personal #depression

[aggressivenesswhilecrying]

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to

Summery:

Martyn has no issue with getting older, none at all, but still, every year, when his birthday comes knocking, it's another dread to the list.

Tw!! Feelings of self doubt and hate, crying, isolation

Not beta read or edited!!

And like always, it's here again.

Martyn’s birthday.

If you were to know anything about martyn is he hates being touched when overwhelmed, but he still craves that touch. 

He also has to wear the same two coats everytime he leaves the house, and they both look exactly the same except one is bigger on him.

There's also assigned seating in his house. He always sits on the left end of the couch, next to the end table that has a lamp. And it really bothers him when someone else sits there.

He also puts his closet rainbow order. 

And he hates chocolate cuz it makes his mouth greasy.

And when he gets scared, he thinks he hurts his friends and cuts them off out of fear he's making things for them worse.

And he hates holidays.

Gods how he hates them.

Well...

OK. He doesn't hate holidays. He loves the idea of them, really!! But, in practice? The only he really ever takes joy in, is halloween. You can't fuck up halloween. He just, he can't remember having a happy holiday? Maybe it's childhood trauma, maybe he's being dramatic, but also every holiday he can remember, was tainted in some sort of way, by some just, awful event. 

And as you can probably assume. Martyn counts his birthday as a personal holiday.

Its 12:32am, and martyn is a year older, and martyn feels sick. The numb sort of sick, where you aren't necessarily connected to it, but you can still feel your stomach turning in knots. He's scared. He sits on the kitchen counter right by the sink. The light above the stove being the only light on besides his phone screen. 

12:33am. The numbers taunt him. 

He realizes he probably won't do anything about it. He has the day off from work. So his plan is probably just stay up too late, because he never gets the peace of mind to get good sleep, if any at all during holidays, natrually, sleep in, make something to eat, watch shitty TV, go grocery shopping, hop on the discord vc, hang out, talk with who ever is there, and then read until his eyes feel heavy. Just like every other day.

Martyn decides to update his discord status. The silly profile picture of a picrew greats him. The background is an ace and unlabeled flag, and martyn feels his heart sing for just a moment, before the rot in his stomach takes over again as he taps into his status. Erasing the song lyrics without hesitation.

'Lvl 25!!' 

Yeah. That'll work. 

It's 12:36am now. It's 12:36am, and martyn is scared.

He isnt sure what he's scared if. But he feels the frantic beating of his pulse. Martyn gave up on figuring out what he was so afraid of years ago.

It wasn't getting older, no, he'd been raised on the internet, a constant state of feeling like he should be older, and feeling like he shouldn't be this old yet.  An odd limbo, so it wasn't the fear of getting older. 

And it wasn't necessary the fear of the future, of course the future is scary and he had his fair share of issues with it.

It's more of, every year, is just a reminder, that he's going, absolutely no where. He has nothing to show for it. No friends with tales about him, no one to sit in his one bedroom apartment and tell him, they're happy he made it another year.

He knows in full certainty, it's kinda his fault. And a part of him wishes, as he stares at his phone, that someone, anyone. Sends him a text without him reminding them. It's 12:41am and martyn sees a tear hit his phone screen. 

Another year passes, his age just goes up another number, and he hates his birthday more then he hates any other holiday. And still.

He's insignificant at best.

Author notes

And once again, annual birthday post, and like always, I put my feelings about my birthday onto a character. If I post on February 26th, just assume it's a vent post. I'm not feeling awesome, but I will live, and post more later, I'm writing a few really fun aus right now actually!! :)))

#aggressivewrites #fanfic #fanfiction #martyn inthelittlewood #birthday

[veritylarsen]

20230903

it's been much longer than about time to be transparent about decisions i've made in the past. i strongly recommend reading the entirety of this if you wanna keep in touch with me and my work. in my opinion, these are situations with legitimate weight that can't just be covered casually on social media within limited text boxes. i just wanna be on the same page as y'all that what i did was unjustifiable, and that i'm getting help as a result. i won't be referring to people by their names, but if you know any of the people involved, please bother me with your concerns before bothering them. these are events that have already been settled, and i don't wanna kick up a storm by merely talking about them again.

some contextless apologies: my deepest apologies to any minor i interacted with during 2020-21 in billings for making the line between friend and adult be far too blurry to be acceptable, especially giving you guys drugs as a way for me to be on cooler terms. i'm sorry you guys took the brunt of me not being able to handle a long duration of loneliness and my own trauma, and to one person specifically i considered myself best friends with for taking the majority of it. i also apologize for publicizing my lack of maturity during a heated situation in the billings scene during 2021, and spreading misinformation that ended up causing harm to someone who was already receiving plenty of it.

the following is more explanation, with no intention of me excusing myself, here's just more context #1: i had just turned 21 when covid first hit, and was going to college in bozeman, montana. having to suddenly return to my hometown (billings, montana), and quarantine in a home i had plenty of trauma associations with after being liberated from leaving it, was something i had no clue how to manage in my brain. a local who i didnt know and had never talked to before, but was mutuals with on instagram, was making a music scene groupchat. i DM'd them and was soon added to it, ecstatic that i was finally feeling like i was a part of something. soon after, it was moved from instagram to discord, and it wasn't until -18 and 18+ roles were added that i realized the majority of these people were 16-17 years old, and that i was the oldest one there at the time. i didn't quite realize the inherent dynamic i had above them because all i wanted were just people to talk to, and the immature self-loathing way i treated myself still made me believe i was beneath them. i was SO scared of even casually talking to people in general, something i had felt all of my life for miscellaneous reasons. i didn't want anything except to be noticed and regarded, and felt that my genuine lack of wanting anything nefarious from these people gave me some sort of moral pass. i proceeded to talk to them as much as my anxiety could allow, and gained a closer relationship with one of them as a result, who was 16 years old at the time. i really admired this person far more than a 21 year old should be towards a 16 year old. i had no sexual attraction towards them (if anything i was deathly afraid of having sex with anyone on the planet, but i truly do not want to speak about my sexual trauma publicly), and once again thought i saw the clearer boundary because of it, that it would be a moral pass for me to hang out with them on a fairly often basis (sometimes they brought their younger sibling along, who was 14 at the time. intensely fucking bonkers of me to think this was an ok thing to let happen), which i continued to do with them and some others in that groupchat, even well into 2021. since i was hanging out a lot with this one person in particular, i made sure to let them have their own life to live, telling them i was just happy to just be a person within it, yet i still wanted to be best friends with them and acting so much out of my own insecurity. i still thought i was "facing the line" by giving them weed and alcohol, not having realized i had already stepped well over it by involving myself in their lives as i had already done. good intentions can only do so much when you're also contemplating being their partner once they turn 18/19, which is profoundly fucked up. that's way too close to grooming to be accepted. i once again want to say i'm sorry to this person specifically for wanting to be a large part of your life due to my own intense fear of loneliness and my own intrusive attention-seeking behaviors, not allowing you the space you really deserved. please continue to live your life on your own terms, keeping your own will dear and having the serenity within yourself to hold it within you forever.

#2: later in 2021, one of my friends accused two of my other friends of sexual assault towards them. i was met with a whirlwind of defenses from both sides, who were all friends i have put my deep trust into for years, and was dumbfounded not knowing who to believe. i thought i could do something of importance by joining everyone else on instagram and posting on my story about how the situation is far too messy for me to really have a side. seems ridiculous typing that down and reading that back, but that was my weird intention at the time. as a result, i ended up putting out there a lie from the accused that the assault actually happened the other way around. as of about a year ago, people are apparently still spreading that notion around, which i find to be gross as well. i'm deeply sorry for contributing to the weird hivemind of defense and a need to express opinions that much of, if not all of, the scene expressed back then. i have to be completely honest and say that to this day, i still do not know the complete story. both sides acted with ridiculous fervor, mixing in important points with suggestible actions with deep trauma, a bunch of hurt people hurting each other. all i can say with certainty is that i've seen/heard some people in the situation mature and become different people for the better, and have seen/heard some people want to insist they are entirely correct while ignoring the harm they've caused.

thank you so much for reading. lesson of the story is to please go to goddamned therapy already. i'm still continuing to do so. please message me privately if you have any concerns.

#text

[rhapsodyred-writes]

This may be a weird ask, and you can delete it if you wanna, but I'm curious! :D

You know my character Shifter, right?

Which of your characters would really like them, and which would hate them, and which would be freaked out by them?

These were fun :3

Ghost and Aquarios like everyone, so them liking Shifter is kind of a given. Ghost doesn't seem to be afraid of much, so it's possible that the way Shifter functions doesn't really bother him. Of course, he can feel that Not Quite Right feeling from being around Shifter - the feeling that all is not what it seems. But Ghost is trusting, and he tends to approach new friends of any species in roughly the same manner: if I don't hurt you, you won't hurt me (hopefully). Aquarios is good at reading people based on verbal and tonal cues, so they would notice there was something off about Shifter very quickly. But at the same time, if they don't sense any ill intent from the way Shifter talks, it's probably fine.

I don't think anyone would really...hate them? Jude and Lillianna would probably make themselves nuisances to Shifter though. Jude has a deep distrust of anyone she hasn't met before, and it takes a long time to earn her trust. Until she trusts someone, she tends to hound them with questions about who they are, why they do things a certain way, and so on, and she does this if there is even something slightly weird about someone. Shifter wouldn't get a moment's peace. Lillianna would be a nuisance in a different way. She gets hung up on propriety and etiquette, and while she would notice the slightly wrong feeling about Shifter, she's likely to chalk it up to some sort of etiquette misstep. She also has a tendency to be kind of rude in the way she speaks. Shifter might end up hating her.

Freaked out and hate kind of got lumped together there, because if both Jude and Lillianna ever found out what Shifter is, they would be deeply disturbed. So! I'll tell you about two who would be fascinated by Shifter instead, if that's alright.

Toni and Dezyn would find Shifter very interesting, and both in very different ways. Toni is a scientist - what she doesn't understand, she takes apart until she does. Of course, she would never cut someone open without permission, but in her dogged pursuit of scientific knowledge, she can get a bit...overzealous. She's likely to ask uncomfortable questions with little regard for personal boundaries. Toni would be interested in Shifter in a "study under a microscope" kind of way. Dezyn would be interested in Shifter in a "kindred spirits" kind of way. He's something of an anomaly himself - he may be human, but he has powers whose origins are unknown. Are they paternal, passed down from his father's side? He may never know, because he's never known his father. Of course he knows there's something about Shifter that isn't right, and though Dezyn is a telepath, he'll let it be a mystery unless Shifter wants him to know; it's not nice to root around in peoples' pasts (looking at you, Jude). He's likely to stick his neck out for Shifter, and defend them against any verbal and physical attacks.

#shark friend #red answers #ghost #aquarios #jude peele #lillianna grace #toni #dezyn santiago #my ocs #shifter #friend's oc

[knighta3]

Hi, just in case you miss my reblog of your tags when I block you, you're a transphobe and I hope you get the fuck over yourself someday soon. :)

Me? Get over myself? I'm not the one going out of my way to tell someone I'm blocking them. Get off your high horse. Those drugs aren't good for animals. People like this always take the most bad-faith interpretation possible.

So I've been sitting on this for awhile trying to decide if I wanted to bother replying. Obviously, this person won't see it, unless they go out of their way to check on me for some reason. But this is a topic that I have opinions on that can be difficult to communicate the nuances of, especially with how polarized it is. So I'm using this as an opportunity to sort through my thoughts.

And I have a lot of thoughts, so buckle up.

For context, I've included screenshots of what the person is talking about. The first set of tags is mine, the rest is theirs.

The whole trans concept is a concept. There's an ideology to it. Maybe that wasn't the best way to phrase it, and I apologize for that. But everything is a concept, and that's not necessarily bad. Chill.

It's hard to explain my personal feelings. This isn't a perfect analogy, but it's similar to how I feel about doing drugs. I would never do it, I don't understand why it's appealing to anyone, and I don't recommend anyone do it. But I try not to look down on people who do, and I recognize there are exceptions for medical uses. Minors shouldn't be allowed to do it, but adults can mess themselves up however they want so long as they don't hurt anyone, and a doctor should not lie about the effects it has, or recklessly enable it.

I believe a person needs to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, go through therapy for at least a year, and rule out less drastic treatment methods before being allowed to medically transition(social transition is a different topic that I don't care to discuss right now. So mentions of transition in this post will refer to the medical variety unless otherwise stated). You might be born gender dysphoric, or more masculine/feminine than usual, idk, but being Trans is not something you innately ARE, it's something you BECOME. I don't think anyone is trans until they actually transition. Before that, they're simply gender dysphoric.

Cross-sex hormones and puberty blockers are something that we do not know all the effects of, especially on children(who are still developing and thus have more unpredictable variables in play). Minors should never be allowed to transition. There are too many variables to reliably diagnose chronic gender dysphoria vs other causes of discomfort. (To be clear, I'm using "chronic" as a way to describe a condition that won't simply go away or be grown out of, and requires treatment). People who are not gender dysphoric should not transition, as it is a completely unnecessary risk and I feel it is malpractice for a doctor to allow it. Side note, but gender-affirming surgeries are just cosmetic surgeries and body modification.

I feel the same about medications too. Especially for kids. Meds for AHDH, depression, anxiety, birth control, etc. All meds have risks associated with them. We're altering the way the body naturally functions and pretending to know and control what happens. We do not know all the ways those meds can affect the human body and mind long-term(and it can be different for every individual, doubly so for minors. Deciding whether to introduce meds is a risk vs benefit scenario, especially for kids. If the problem can be treated or sufficiently managed without making a person reliant on drugs, it should be done first. But if the problem is too severe for those less medicalizing treatments, then getting on meds and such should be considered. Because at that point, the benefit outweighs the risk. (For context, I am an adult with diagnosed anxiety and take meds for it. Before taking meds, I tried the normal stuff like exercise and meditation and whatnot, but I was still a mess. I wish meds weren't necessary for me, but they seem to be. I am also ace, so does that make me queer? Or am I disqualified for having the "wrong" opinion?)

The cause of gender dysphoria can vary greatly. This person has latched heavily onto my mention of neurodivergence and assumed I only meant autism, but it's far more multifaceted than that. Gender dysphoria is the condition, and transition is a potential treatment. But the possible underlying causes should be addressed BEFORE considering transition as a treatment.

Maybe some people are born with it, or at least develop it very early with no external causes. I don't have stats, but I feel this is a minority.

Gender Non-Conformity: Some people are simply naturally feminine men/masculine women and they feel that isn't acceptable for whatever reason. So whether or not they are conscious of the reasons for that dysphoria, they feel a societal pressure to transition because they don't fit the gender norms. Others are gay and are in denial over it and choose to "trans the gay away" instead of accept that aspect of themselves. This is common in places like the Middle East, where homosexuality is highly stigmatized and persecuted.

Paraphilia: Some people are just attracted to or aroused by exposing themselves to others, cross dressing, or perceiving themselves as the opposite gender. I'm inclined to think a "trans" woman who exposes male genitalia in woman's spaces and loudly insists that others accept it, no matter how uncomfortable or triggering is could be for others, is not actually gender dysphoric. Drag Queens are not trans, and neither are these people.

Trauma: Some kids suffer from severe trauma, and gender dysphoria can develop as a result. A child suffering from sexual abuse, for example, may rationalize that maybe if they were the opposite sex, they wouldn't have been hurt. So as they develop, they take on traits of the opposite sex to cope with their trauma and become dysphoric. It may not be the most rational of responses, but trauma responses seldom are, especially in kids. Plus, there are cases of DID(Disassociative Identity Disorder) where some alters are different genders from the system's host/body. DID is caused by trauma at a specific age which causes a level of disassociation that splinters into multiple identities(personalities) separated by amnesia walls within the mind. The individual identities carry different parts of the trauma to compartmentalize and cope in order to protect the "host"(the "main" or "primary" identity). Some of the identities develop gender or age dysphoria as a part of their coping mechanism. It's honestly fascinating to observe the variety of ways DID systems will cope with trauma.

Neurodivergence: I have various relatives on the autism spectrum. My sister is high functioning, and a few cousins were diagnosed with Asperger's when that was still considered it's own diagnosis. When people live with a mental condition like that their entire life, they absolutely cannot tell what aspects of themselves is caused by the neurodivergence, what is caused by trauma, what is "normal", or what is just normal for the individual. It would be unfair to assume they can parse out all of that when it's even a struggle for neurotypical people. And there is more to neurodivergence than just autism. Some people don't consider depression/anxiety and such as neurodivergence. But I will when it's chronic/clinical because it is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal brain function. So when I'm having trouble with anxious thoughts, it's difficult to tell what is a reasonable concern(because everyone has occasional feeling of anxiety) vs me just overreacting because of my mental condition. The same applies to depression, self harming behavior, suicidal ideation, etc. I have a friend who took a while to realize she was schizophrenic because she couldn't tell that the extra voices in her head was an abnormal experience. To reiterate, this point is about how people with neurodivergence can't always tell when their experience is abnormal because they have always had this experience and it is normal to them. Recognizing what is different about yourself is a learned skill. Gender dysphoria may or may not occur along with various different neurodivergent conditions.

Autism: One common trait of autism is a male-typical pattern of interaction. Women/girls tend to be more socially/emotionally driven while men are more object/goal driven. This does not apply to everyone, as it is just a broad pattern of typical gender traits. Autistic people tend to struggle with social and emotional relationships with others. So autistic girls in particular struggle to fit in with the other girls, and can feel they fit in better with the boys. But at the same time, the boys might feel weird about hanging with a girl(because of "cooties" behavior, which I'm using to describe the tendency for girls and boys to segregate themselves from each other). Overall, it's not that big of a leap for an autistic girl to conclude that she should actually be a boy and subsequently identify as transgender.

Social Contagion: People, particularly kids/teens, are desperate for an individual identity, but also to fit in and be part of a group. They want attention. And if they can't get "good" attention, they will absolutely settle for "bad" attention(misbehaving, lashing out, rule breaking, deviant/criminal behavior). Children do it all the time, especially with neglectful or strict parents. Dogs even do it, which is one reason they can become disobedient. Also, teens are at an age where they often place more value in their friends and social standing than in their family. So if their friends start identifying as various different LBGTQ+ identities, they will find a label to slap on themselves too so they can fit in. Siblings may follow in their footsteps and also find a label for the sake of a label. Nobody wants to be the straight cis friend these days. People crave a sense of belonging, while also being different from the larger majority for a sense of individuality. Some people choose to be theater kids, band kids, jocks, etc. to accomplish this. But if none of those appeal to them or they can't break into the group, they have to find something else. If people can get attention or validation or a sense of belonging by joining this exclusive trans club, they will. Previous generations were flappers, hippies, hipsters, emo/goth, etc. With insistence that, "it's not a phase, mom!" The biggest difference between those and this is the transgender movement has more permanent effects on the individuals within it, which are potentially harmful if we aren't careful.

Sense of Control: Some of these potentially underlying issues can overlap or cause each other. If the wrong condition is treated, it might not help. For example, anxiety can cause depression. But the depression is a symptom of the anxiety, so treating the depression doesn't solve the underlying cause. When people feel that something about their life is bad, so something about it has to change. And sometimes that something ends up being gender. They feel if they can control some aspect of themselves, things will improve. A girl might become so convinced she can't succeed because she's a girl that she instead decides her chances would be better as a boy. Or a boy is so burdened by the expectations of male gender roles that he thinks life would be easier as a girl. This would probably be coupled with other underlying factors such as depression. In a similar vein, skipping straight to a transition rather than addressing underlying conditions first won't ease the turmoil. If anything, it would make it worse. Because if you think transitioning would fix all your problems, and then it doesn't, it would make you feel more hopeless.

Puberty: First, young kids are exploring the world around them and that is often done through play. Trying on mom's shoes or messing with her makeup or playing with dolls and sparkles does not mean a young boy is a trans girl. And playing with dirt or toy trucks or wanting to play sports or hating dresses does not make a young girl a trans boy. Kids are just kids and should be left to play and explore. They observe reactions around them, and if being "trans" gets them praise, they will do it. Teens are going through a tumultuous and unstable phase of life where they are still searching for their own identity and trying things out. It is horrendously irresponsible to enable any impulsive life-altering choices. Puberty is uncomfortable and can cause temporary gender dysphoria in a lot of teens. I went through it too, before I had ever heard of the concept of transgenderism. I felt I didn't fit in with the other girls, so I wondered if I was born in the wrong body because I had a little more noticeable hair than the others. Most kids/teens will grow out of it. "Oh, puberty blockers just pause puberty to give kids a chance to decide" No, no, no. Puberty blockers were initially used as a way to chemically castrate sex offenders. I would never trust that for kids. And, ironically, if the kids don't go through their natural birth-sex puberty, they won't have enough of the needed tissue for a bottom surgery if they wanted to go that route. Which significantly increases the chances of potential complications associated with the surgery.

Side tangent, but still somewhat relevant, but I'm reminded of castrati. Castrato were men who were castrated as young boys before going through puberty(as opposed to eunuchs, who were castrated after puberty). They were stars of the opera because they retained the higher vocal range of a young boy, but with the lung capacity and power of a man. They were particularly common in areas that didn't allow women to perform, such as Italy. Because castrato were highly desired in the music industry, but had to be set on that path young, parents would have their pre-pubescent sons castrated around the ages of 8-12 to give them just the chance for this "lavish" career path. The operation wasn't legal, and considered barbaric even at the time, but parents would make up excuses such as falling off a horse or animal attack where the castration would be considered a treatment. But becoming an opera singer wasn't easy and required intense musical training. Castrati who didn't succeed in the field were relegated to a life of ridicule, poverty, and/or prostitution. The lack of testosterone could cause their bones to grow longer instead of harden, so they would be abnormally tall and have large rib cages(similar to gigantism), and be prone to conditions such as osteoporosis. Plus an increased tendency toward obesity. It was common to develop feminine features. Overall, they were seen as something of a "freak show." The practice slowly died off, but didn't really end until the early 1900's. Most castrati were forced into this lifestyle by desperate, poverty-stricken families. But the desired fortune didn't come for most, they were often ostracized for neither being a full man nor a woman, but rather something subhuman, and died in poverty and ridicule. It doesn't matter how well-meaning the family may or may not have been. The result was ruined lives.

I don't say any of this to invalidate the experience of gender dysphoria or of trans people. I say this because people are being hurt without proper safeguards. The suicide rate of trans people does not significantly change before or after transition. This suggests that transitioning itself does not treat the underlying cause of their misery. And the rate of detransitioners is rising because we are too quick to affirm feelings of transness and fail to filter out those who would end up regretting it because it was "just a phase". Then, once they become detrans, they're totally rejected by the trans community as "never trans in the first place". Even though the Detrans person transitioned in the first place because they believed they were trans and that a transition would solve their problems. It isn't fair to scorn them when it didn't work out for them. They still went through the experience of transitioning, which is still a valid trans experience.

Detrans people suffer irreversible harm that could have been totally preventable if their medical care providers had bothered to do any proper screening and pushback. If a person would truly benefit from a transition, then they could absolutely confirm that by going through the whole process. If they can't get through the process, then they shouldn't transition in the first place.

What is concerning is that suicide rates don't significantly change before/after transition, and most gender dysphoric people seem to have a some degree of trauma or mental illness in their background, which indicates to me that there is more going on than just being "born that way". And I think it is vital to the health and well-being of these people to acknowledge and explore why.

I don't think it's transphobic to believe gender dysphoria, and transgenderism by extension, can have underlying factors that should be looked into and thoroughly addressed before pursing a transition as a means to relieve distress.

#i speak #a3 speaks #a3 in the discourse #a3 replies

[hisredhysteria]

How I think the Akudama would hold/watch your drink

Note: inspired by the trend on tik tok that I occasionally get on my fyp...it's all my own personal opinion so don't take anything too seriously, this was just for fun-!

I'm also trying to work on headcanons for the Akudama as children....it's surprisingly somewhat difficult with how little of their pasts we see— of course, I've always got Cutthroat done first though....if I don't finish it, I'll at least post his, I swear

Swindler

She's a little flustered or unsure about holding it at first, but she takes it probably the most seriously.

Hesitantly and unsurely puts her hand over it.

Her eyes pass everyone that walks by as well.

She looks and feels a little awkward, however she knows it's for you, so she's content in holding it.

She either bumps into someone and spills it all by accident, leaving her somewhat nervous for you to come back...and embarrassed...

Or everything goes rather smoothly and she's got a big smile on her face when she sees you come back.

She's pretty proud of herself to say the least..

Brawler

Oh sweet, the moment you put your hand out with the drink in it, he thinks you're offering it to him.

And by the time you tell him you just needed to go to the bathroom, it's already empty.

That's right. Absolutely no remorse as he downs your entire drink whole within the span of .005 seconds~

If you act upset, he'll tell ya not to have made it seem like you were offering it to him. Why'd ya hand it to him like that if you didn't want him to drink it?

His bad.... he'll buy you both new drinks to make up for it though, it's not a big deal. He was probably gonna buy more anyways.

The next time this happens, he takes watching your drink very seriously, too seriously.

Or he forgets he was even watching it, realizes he's got another drink in his hand...and drinks it...oops....

Doctor

Oh, she'll watch your drink. She'll watch it real good.

It's funny to her that you even trusted her in the first place. Foolish? Inexperienced? Just too trusting?

She's likely a little annoyed you put any sort of unnecessary responsibility into her hands...so she'll teach you why you shouldn't ~

A bit of poison never killed.

A lot, well....maybe. But she's not looking to kill you yet, just have a little fun.

If you don't wake up after your next sip from coming back though, then trusting her was your own fault.

In all seriousness, she might watch it without any tampering. Though she'll expect something in return for doing so.

Or she's simply trying to gain your obedience by first showing you that you can trust her.

Hacker

Seriously? You couldn't find anyone else?

Alright, alright. He'll hold it.

He might poke fun at you for being too trusting though. Who says he's not gonna do something to it either?

Doesn't seem too worried about anything that could potentially happen.

He's just counting down the minutes as he's holding it because it seems like you're never coming back.

Sheesh... at this point your drink will have evaporated....

He asks you what took so long when you come back too. He was worried you may have died in the bathroom...at least he tells you that to tease.

Hoodlum

You asking him to hold your drink has instantly boosted his ego.

Someone actually trusts him to watch over their things?

He takes it very seriously and probably puts his hand over it, anxiously looking around.

He may even get into his head a little bit...what if he actually ends up having to confront someone about holding your drink...?

I mean, he likely won't... who's gonna bother him, right?

By the time you come back he's a sweating mess because he's over thought it so much.

Maybe he even takes a sip to see what you're drinking...or to calm nerves...

If you're unlucky though, he was probably drunk himself and drank it forgetting it was yours...

Courier

It'll seem like he won't watch or hold it at first...

But he'll end up doing it. And he makes it his job until you come back.

Not too serious about it like putting his hand over the top or anything, but he's got his eye on it very well, even if it doesn't look like it.

Or even if he seems rather uninterested as he's holding/watching it.

Asks, "what do you think you're doing?"  if he sees someone getting strangely close to him or your drink.

When you come back, he expects you to pay him at least a million for the unnecessary service he's just provided you with.

Extra tip required cause he didn't have a choice to decline...

He's only playing around with you in his own special little way though...at least you can only hope....maybe you should start checking your pockets...

Cutthroat

He'd glare at the glass for a moment, excited and smiling at the shine.

Why of course he'd hold anything for his precious ang....-

Wait, wait....where are you going...!?

The bathroom...? Without him...?!

He drops your drink trying to run after you because you absolutely can't leave his sight.

Or he leaves it sitting there so that he can catch up to you.

He also doesn't seem to care that you're upset with him now because of it. He's just happy you're done in the bathroom..!

If the drink is red, he's definitely way too excited to hold it though, and stays pretty mesmerized admiring the color until you come back to take it. Then he whines about how he wants a glass of his own. Because it's red of course...

Actually, it's better if you just share that one with him...! You're going to, right..?

#akudama drive #akudama drive headcanons

[e-s-willswriting]

Incorrect Quote Generator Tag

Thank you for the tag @rickie-the-storyteller this was really fun!

I'm going to add quotes from my main characters from The Crypt Archives. Gonna be long because I had way too much fun with this.

Charlotte: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Noah.

Noah: I hate myself.

Charlotte: Alright, square up.

Alden: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Piper: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Charlotte: Look, Noah, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

Piper: Who the fuck- Alden: Language! Piper: Whom the fuck- Alden: No.

Charlotte: Breathe, just breathe.

Noah: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Judas:: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Judas: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Judas: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Charlotte: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Judas: Ominous positivity.

Nymph: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Charlotte: Why not? Nymph: Because I don't know what they mean.

Charlotte: What's this? Nymph, hugging Charlotte: Affection! Charlotte: Disgusting. Charlotte: …Do it again.

Noah: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Alden: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Morrigan: And you came to me?

Alden: I can't imagine what Morrigan is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

Noah: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Noah: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Noah: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Charlotte: This is Monopoly.

Judas: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

Charlotte: Judas, I need some advice.

Judas: You need advice from ME?

Charlotte: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Noah: I can't believe you've done this.....

Charlotte: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Noah, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

Noah: Come to think of it… You’ve always been nice to me.

Noah: I mean, you listen to all my problems-

Charlotte: No, Noah I just simply stand here while you talk, there’s a big difference.

Judas: If we lose, you’re out of the will.

Noah: I was in the will?

Noah: I can never give Charlotte shit because I’m jealous of them. They look at their life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!”

Noah: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

Morrigan, to Alden: If you see Charlotte, give them this message *makes a neutral face*

Morrigan: They'll know what it means.

*later*

Alden: oh, and Morrigan said to give you a message.

Alden: *makes a neutral face*

Charlotte: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

Judas: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Charlotte: I don't want your advice.

Judas: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

Alden: Remember what I told you. Piper: Don’t be a cunt.

Noah: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

Judas: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Tagging a few people but anyone is free to have a go, make sure to tag me, I'd love to see yours!

@gwendolinequinn @legiomiam @srjacksin @lilac-honey @ryns-ramblings

#writer #writing #incorrect quotes #writing blog #writeblr #fiction writing #writing tag game #tag game

[threadwitchpenelope]

First impressions

OOC: Had an idea for Penelope and Dream's first meeting so I wanted to write it out. Hope you enjoy! This is set about three to four years before present day.

Penelope had only just finished unpacking when she noticed the odd occurrences. There were often sounds in the vents as she settled in to sleep at night. She'd wake up in the morning to find her things had been moved and that food was missing. She was tempted to call her father or brothers to have them take a look or just stay with her. She had an extra bedroom after all.

But...she also felt more than a little miffed about all the theft and the snooping. So instead, she took matters into her own hands. No reason to bother her family with an issue she could solve on her own. She set out a trap one night and waited for the intruder to slip up.

She didn't have to wait long. She heard a yelp and felt a pulse of magic as her trap went off. She tugged a robe on over her pajamas and peeked out of her room. A tall figure wriggled and cursed as they tried to slip out of the net she'd laid. The ropes groaned under the weight but the enchantments meant they held firm.

Penny steeled herself and stepped out from her room. The person in the net didn't seem to notice her amidst all their struggles which suited her just fine.

"You know," she said as she stepped closer, "people assume that thread witches can only work with cloth or normal thread. What is a rope but a bunch of fibers woven together?" The net gleamed with the tell-tale shimmer of enchantment magic.

She tugged at it and the intruder snapped his teeth at her. She wrinkled her nose at him. "Now that's hardly polite."

"You have me fucking trapped in a stupid net!"

"And you broke into a lone woman's apartment in the middle of the night to do who-knows-what. I don't think either of us are bastions of moral purity here."

He paled and struggled more. "Hey! I'm not-! That's not why I'm here! I just got curious. And hungry. Let me out and I won't come back, fuck!"

"Mmm. I dunno. How did you get in, anyway?" She checked her door but the magic circle she painted around the handle was still in place. She assumed the vents nect but he looked way too tall to fit in them comfortably.

"Fuck you. That's how."

"No thank you, I only do that by appointment."

He paused and blinked at her, caught off-guard. "What?"

She didn't bother to clarify. "You know, you shouldn't do this sort of thing. I could be a serial killer for all you know. Does anyone know you're here?" She hummed and met his eyes. "Would anyone notice you were missing...?"

He paled further until he was almost ghost-white. "They would! They would absolutely know I was fucking missing! I have friends all over! My-my roommate! They'd know I was gone!"

She tilted her head, the sighed. "Fine. Stop wriggling, I'll let you down. I promise I won't hurt you if you swear to relax and answer my questions."

"Sure. But, for the record? You're a bitch."

"Oh no, the creep who likes breaking into people's apartments doesn't think well of me. However will I cope? Woe. Woe and misery." She put a hand to the back of her head. "However will I face society again?"

The bickering continued as she let him down (gently despite the strong temptation to just drop him) and well over the next few months. He at least stopped sneaking in at night after that, which she counted as a win. And, despite how annoying he could be, she found she liked the excitement.

Now, years later, she shuts off her tv as he dozes against her shoulder. She pets his hair and moves off of the couch so he can lay down comfortably. She spreads a blanket out over him and shuts off the lights.

She can hear Purpled typing away in his room, he's always been a night owl, though, so she's not worried. Instead, she goes into her own room and slips under her sheets, feeling relaxed and content. Dream will likely be gone in the morning, as will some of her food. But that's fine, as long as he's eating.

She shuts off her lamp, curls up around a large plush spider that her brothers gave her, and drifts off to sleep.

#Musings #Purpledgravity #Dreamwasinthevents