#i wish it never happened

[loulooser]

I wonder why I’m still fucked up and then one thing tips me off and I’m crying again

#I don’t want to #I wish it never happened #better to have loved and lost that never to have loved at all my ASS #I want it to be over #all it brings is pain #i can’t go into that fucking room without breaking down #I used to love it there

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

I'm not sure if it's obvious to others, I have it scheduled that everyday there's one post about whatever, they've been queued early in the month, it's not because things are better. It's not because I have access to wifi or even electricity at times. I simply didn't want to go radio silent and so I have them scheduled for this entire month and a little into the next. Things really suck right now and I can use any support anyone can possibly give.

#My last post explains more #I'm so tired of this #I wish it never happened #I just want to be with all my little sisters and our mom #But I don't think that's a possibility right now and it hurts

[maggotanatomy]

i’m so lucky and my life is so much better than it used to be. i have a lot of friends and i’m actually financially stable and got promoted in under a year/making 20k more than i used to and i’m not getting traumatized 24/7. but ohhhhhh my god i am thinking about killing myself regularly again and ik it’s just a rough spot but like ough !!!!! the impossibility of rescue! it all hits u anyway!!!! try try your whole life to be righteous and good !!!! wind up on your own floor choking on blood!!!!!! it’s exhausting it’s infuriating i can’t stand it wherever i go there i am! i still can’t leave myself behind i still can’t fix it i still can’t change anything!! what good is anything when this is all there is. is that all there is? i tell myself i know i will be happier again one day. more stable. i’ve been there before i will get there again. and yet. if i had the chance to erase myself i would. bloodline torn out at the root, red and writhing.

#i am sooooooo tired of being let down and being manipulated etc etc #i hate that it takes like 5+ years to even know if someone sucks so unreal bad lmao #i already have a hard time w this i don’t need PROOF !!! #not to b a crybaby but i have been having a hard time #and i stopped going to church except to do av lol #i just wish. i always wish. more than anything. that it never happened #i wish it never happened #not to me not to anyone #nothing to answer for #just a clear ringing in place of the suffering #luz.txt

[egophiliac]

IT'S BUNNY TIME EVERYBODY

(feat. Dilla)

(bugle accompaniment by Yuu)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #white rabbit festival #ah...the eternal dilemma of 'is it hair dye or whimsical anime hair'. and so we roll the dice again. #so it's canon now that yuu is inexplicably great at bugling. everybody get ready to incorporate that incredible trivia into your characters #anyway HELLO THERE madam spade #i think we have enough evidence now to say that you're not allowed into nrc unless you have an absolutely smoking mom #(riddle's mom has a smoking crater where her heart should be but we digress) #dilla likes two things: BIG VANS and also telling her son's friends all about how he used to literally refuse to not dress like a bunny #and yet now he does not wish to dress like a bunny. :( deuce what HAPPENED #meanwhile epel is too polite to whine at his best friend's mom so he's just hoping vil never finds out he wore a bonnet #silver is like 'i'm the handsomest little marching band boy. i'm taking this outfit back to show everyone.' #and ortho put all his points into POWERFUL THIGHS #he minmaxed leg day and is going to go kick a tree in half #can't wait for part 2 to see if they resolve the exciting cliffhanger of whether or not silver finds an alarm clock

[babydarkstar]

i just. i just…FUCK. i just really want harrowhark to go sicko mode when she realizes john has the power to resurrect whoever he wants he just chooses not to and even after learning about his own blood daughter he still doesn’t resurrect her he just makes her a construct. i would be alecto-levels of grief-stricken-enraged if my childhood nemesis/guard dog/whipping girl/codependent lesbian situationship that i lobotomized over/suicide-pact soulmate/only friend was suddenly here but not here haunting her own dead body and the only reason she’s present is because she was made into a fascist killing machine for a man with a power kink, and she’s not even happy about it but she’s going through the motions because all she knows of love is to be useful. (forever your sword.) and if i was harrow and i died and then came back to myself after switching bodies with the human cage holding the earth’s soul and realized all of this, i think i too would be accompanying the earth’s soul on her shoulder to go kill a man with eclipse-eyes and criminal levels of nonchalance. y’know. the one who guarded g1deon but not me, lord. the one who was so sure i had never seen that which lies insensate and with stilled mind, lord, who did not realize i was a lock and there was a key in the shape of a girl, lord. the one who looked me dead in the eye and told me i could never have my cavalier back, lord. the cavalier who came back haunted and empty and incomplete by your hand, lord.

i’m so team ‘harrowhark saves gideon for real this time not because she wants her cav but because she wants her other half’ i might lose my mind about it

#the locked tomb #griddlehark #im going crazy if im being honest #like sorry if this doesnt make sense im losing my mind #also i think so much about kiriona’s jealousy when alecto swears her fealty to harrow #and so many people talk about how theres a chance harrow chooses alecto over kiri/gideon #and yeah. she probably will choose alecto. but not as a supplement to gideon #bc once harrow realized the price to pay she never wanted it to happen to gideon #which is why she was so so upset she literally threw up every day for like a month about it #and lobotomized to stop the soul-bleed from being finalized. #she couldnt swallow one more soul as sacrifice for her own life #let alone gideon?????? she said it all in the pool scene ok. and then the iron fence scene #‘i can’t conceive of a universe without you’ #something something abt making gideons life miserable bc she wished she was dead #and would mever forgive herself for it #etc etc etc #ultimately i think harrow wants gideon. not as a cav or a servant. just as herself #one can dream

[felsicveins]

We're a lethal combination, too lost for therapy

#one more!!!!!!! ive had this drawn forever but hadnt colored it!! #trolls #trolls 3 #trolls oc #trolls oc julien #jd ex husband #john dory #john dory trolls #the song is called lethal combination by the wombats #its sooo them #this is post separation obvi and jd is snapping at julien for bugging him all the time #i have an even angstier drawing that i did yesterday but ill post that some other time #i wish i could sit down and write the fic .. its probably never gonna happen

[fullmooneverynite]

“nerves”

- digital (procreate), 2023

boys when they’re forced to be the other’s dramatic foil 🤤

#pathologic #daniil dankovsky #artemy burakh #burakhovsky #burakovsky #fanart #m. rhys art #pathologic 2 #digital art #I didn’t mean to make them positioned the same way as the twin fantasy dogs #it just happened.. #wish will toldeo never wrote that fuckass album

[p4nishers]

there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.

#do i wish he wouldn't forgive so easily (tho i don't actually think aziraphale needs forgiveness since he didn't do anything wrong and #actually without his decision their love story would've been stuck as it was for more than 6000 years and also heaven would never change #without someone dismantling it and making it new) #yes i do wish that and i also wish he'd learn self worth but we gotta be realistic here he never once been able to stay mad at aziraphale #all those times they had fights where aziraphale was (mostly) in the wrong and rejected crowley what did crowley do? immediately come #CRAWLING and BEGGING back like pls yall this is why i don't read post s2 fics bc everyone suddenly seems to forget their whole canon #personalities and history w each other and it's annoying me so much like i get that we all are hoping crowley learns from his mistakes and #stops being so easy for aziraphale (not me tho) but realistically speaking it's just not gonna happen and once again aziraphale DIDN'T. DO. #ANYTHING. WRONG. yes he hurt crowley with his decision but CROWLEY HURT HIM WITH HIS TOO so if yall wants an apology dance it's gonna turn #into a waltz cause they'd both need to do it #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #go s2

[mourninglamby]

i get really panicked every time i see video essays in my recommendations about dsmp ... you dont get it youll never get it unless u were truly IN it and even if u were at the frontlines after lore streams (if they even acknowledge the story), i dont know u like that so idk if u know what ur actually talking about. like i dont wanna hear it lalalala dsmp exists in my head I MADE IT UP

#gibberish ass post #sorryyyy #i wish i. could find the words to describe #how seeing pics of those videos thumbnails even makes me feel #so fearful that someone would never understand wut happened #or WORSE sympathize with the fucking weirdos #idk. idk! im very frightened these days

[twst-mer]

#hirasaka yuuka #mito yuuta #twst #twisted wonderland #book 2 manga #book 3 manga #i love the way yuuka is a judoka #how yuuka specializes in judo throws--and how that might even be a reference to the way simba throws scar #how part of the philosophy is about overcoming even significantly bigger opponents #how concept art literally says yuuka can lift jack with ease #speaking of jack--i love the way yuuta interacts with jack #laughs and gentle arm touches #how yuuta likely had to deal with a lot of different types in a restaurant and probably reads people like a book #tsundere expert #i wish yuuta wasnt treated so much as a gag character #if my read is right--jack & leona never criticize based on body at least #but a lot of things are gonna happen and could change in book 3 with savanaclaw so im both afraid and hyped #skipping school with jack #giving jack pointers while they work together in mostro lounge #JACK BRINGING YUUTA & GRIM TO SAVANACLAW AFTER THEY GO HOMELESS...SLEEPOVER WITH LEONa... #screaming all night with grim for leona to help them because its all or nothing on their last day in savanaclaw #leona eventually helping out and saying Sorry Azul. You're just not quite as dastardly a villain as Yuuta is. #pls #they bring out the essence of the dorms and foil the overblotters so well!! fave official yuu designs hands down

[brain--rott]

all I want in life is a mysterious gothic mansion that the townspeople claim is haunted

#ethan speaks #it'll never happen but god i wish #poverty sucks #gothic mansion #dream house

[writer-room]

Isn't it fun how everyone saw what terrified them most, but Nya's was so "unbelievable" that she broke out instantly? She was shown the one thing that was supposed to terrify her, make her spiral. But of course it wasn't real. It's Jay. If there's one thing she never once doubted, its that Jay is absolutely smitten, so of course he'd never forget her. What a silly thing to think, to be afraid of. She went through so damn much for this boy, and him for her, and we know how she is. Wouldn't it be petrifying if all that work, all that emotional turmoil, that clawing for love, could be forgotten just like that? Its quite a feat, really, that she can finally be confident in knowing such a fear is irrational.

It was easy to break free from such a place. It was only ever meant to scare her, and she has nothing to be afraid of. Right?

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #lego ninjago #lego ninjago dragons rising #nya #ninjago nya #jay walker #ninjago jay #text post #dragons rising s2 #oh its going to be horrific when they find jay i want it SO BAD #nya is going to spiral. she is going to hit a new mental health low #HERES THE BEST PART #isnt it horrifying. when the only other person who remembers a time that never existed #a time when wishes should never have come true #forgets all of it? there were only two of you in the entire world who remembered that timeline #you could say nothing ot anyone else. but you could speak to them. could share it all #when the nightmares came and shaking from memories. there was someone to know and comfort #and now its all gone. its all forgotten. theres nothing. its only you. just you. #no one will ever know what happened to you #wouldnt that fck you up every which way to sunday. when the nightmares exist only to you #if theres only you to ever whisper about pirates. did it even happen? can you prove it? #nya is going to crumple into DUST. no happiness for any of them

[virgothozul]

I-

hum.

#That 21 one questions meme #I don’t know if I should feel sorry yet. #Maybe there are several reasons why the people tried to discourage me to play this- #Have I ruined the thing for you ? #If so ; I’m moderately sorry ; also it’s never too late to unfollow -you know that right ? #I have forgotten many many things. But a few - probably meaningless or barely relevant - things seem a little clearer to me. #I hope this year will go ok. I don’t want to completely lose my mind. That’s my single wish right now. #these tags make less and less sense. #Don’t you find it easier to organise ur thoughts this way tho ? Little entries of words. #disco elysium #I need to say; I’m only day2 but if something ANYTHING happens to Kim .. #I’ll gun everyone down in this hellhole

[randomminty]

Yeahlow

#art tag #pokemon #pokespe yellow #pokespe #pokemon special #i wish i had the first ever drawing i did of yellow i think thatd be a fun comparison #i think i do sctually….. shes been w me through so much #when i was 9 i would draw eyelashes onto yellow after the ponytail reveal in gsc but now youll NEVER see me drawing her w eyelashes #i also like pause before i decide what pronouns i should use for her #so i think thats some sort of character development for me #once i bought the last gsc volume onto my school bus and showed it to a friend of mine and she like #pointed to green oak and went why does the boy have eyelashes 😐 #n i was like i dont CARE i need to tell you why red x yellow is canon #more character development from me i dont really ship them anymore. same w blue and green. as a pokespe fan ive changed so much #i need to reread dpp i miss the trio so muuuhc…….. i iwhs they couldve returned int he manga and get why not but. i miss the #is swsh nearly over im not up to date at all. i know the dlcs happening but thats it #i wanna see what the scvi protags will be like. and which ones scarlet and which ones violet #and how they handle to version diffs ooo….. two schools? double dead argen parents? #ARVEN sorry. but yea. exciting #WHAT school will each rival be in what about clavel and the teachers ??!!???!??!!?!??!? anyway #thats enougb rambling for one post. goot bye

[octylish]

An Eye for an Eye (A Table for Two)

#phighting #phighting subspace #phighting medkit #can be seen as ship idrc do what you want #phighting art #phighting fanart #i worked way too hard on the colours never make me do that ever again (it will happen again) #i hope u guys like the 1 million bits of symbolism and detail i dumped into this bc it was A lot #happy easter! scavenger hunt this *tosses symbolic medkit and subspace drawing into the woods* #kinda wish i put smth to fill the empty space in the top left but whatever #if u want the notes and details of the symbolism feel free to go on my twt @octylish

[cerise-on-top]

Ooh, what if Price/Ghost/Gaz/Laswell came across their childhood best friend? Reuniting with reader who was there for them through thick and thin, until they joined the military and lost contact 🙏

I've been reading/re-reading some of your works!! They're so good! Also, I'm sorry those teenagers were pricks to you, hope you have some better days soon!

Hello! I have to say, I'm genuinely surprised anyone reads my rambles in the tags, I didn't think anyone would, but thank you! You don't know how much I appreciate it! Today was already a much better day, which is why I decided to write and post two requests today! This is a lovely request, very nice! Love me some platonic stuff as well! Sometimes all you need is a good friend by your side!

Price, Gaz, Ghost and Laswell Come Across their Childhood Best Friend

Price: He actually thinks about you from time to time, more often than he’d like to admit. You were a good person in his eyes, always there for him no matter what he went through, which is something he could appreciate. His childhood wasn’t particularly bad, but he had some days where he would have loved to simply throw in the towel, which is normal, though. Price was a rowdy guy when he was young, so you likely either went along with some of his ideas or were kind enough to talk him out of them. Either way, he appreciated having you around, so seeing you again would be quite the surprise, he didn’t think he ever would again. If he’s on a mission, then the talk will be kept short, but afterwards he’ll make sure to seek you out again, catch up a bit and ask you how you’ve been. Price didn’t expect to have missed you this much, but he only realized that once he saw you. You’ll either be going to one of the cafes you used to visit nearby, or maybe sit down on a park bench and maybe eat some sandwiches together, just like you used to during the good old times. Since you’d likely be around his age, so roughly 37-38, you’d have a lot to tell. Roughly 22 years you need to catch up on. He’s willing to talk to you, tell you about his career, how he's been doing, about the people he’s met and how he’s feeling. Considering this much time has passed, there’s a good chance you’ve both mellowed out quite a bit, but it isn’t unpleasant, you’re both mature people now. He likes hearing about everything you’ve accomplished, it’s like you became a new person during all those years. It’s so lovely to him, he sort of can’t believe it. Whether it’s a coincidence, or maybe you sought him out, it doesn’t matter, spending time with you again brings back all those memories he thought he had since forgotten about. He laughs, he smiles, he frowns. He’s a bit more expressive with you, but really wants to reminisce about the good old times. Even so, he hopes to be able to see you again more often, so you’ll likely exchange numbers. This time he tries to make sure to not lose contact with you and will text you every once in a while.

Gaz: When he was a child, Gaz was a lot calmer than he is today, a very quiet kid. He had always been a good boy, a gift in the eyes of many, but he wasn’t as active a child as one would imagine. Ergo he didn’t have very many friends until he became older either, but he was loyal to the few he did have. You were one of them. As you slowly started to grow apart, he started to miss you, but didn’t want to bother you either, as much as he would have loved to do so. So I’m sure you can imagine the surprise on his face when he found you at the mall the two of you would hang out in during rainy days. Gaz has become more confident, so he’d immediately walk up to you once he recognises you and start talking. Like Price, he’d be pleasantly surprised to just see you in such a mundane place, but won’t question it. Or complain about it either. In fact, if you’re not carrying anything heavy, he’d be the one to suggest going out to eat or drink something. Again, either a small and quiet cafe or a small restaurant. Maybe you’d go to a place you liked when you were kids, if it’s still open. Regardless, it’d be hard to get him to shut up with how excited he is to have you around. It’s a calm kind of excitement, but he’s happy, and that’s what’s important. It’s very likely that he’ll pay for your food, even if you insist he shouldn’t, but it’s not like he has any other use for his money. Chatting with him about the good old times is very sweet, he likes to bring up all the good things. But eventually, he’ll thank you for everything you’ve done for him and how happy he was to have you as a friend. Considering there were very few people who tried to get to know him, he was quite lonely, but you fixed that. You made everything better. From the pain on his knee when he fell as you gave him a band-aid, to the pain in his heart when the other children ridiculed him. Like Price, he’ll ask you if you want his number so you could continue to keep in contact with each other. He knows it’ll likely never be the same again, but he can pretend everything is as good as it used to be back when he was young. He’d love to spend time with you again.

Ghost: This man has had one of the worst childhoods imaginable. He was abused by his father, and the only friends he had aside from you were his mother and his brother. Barely anyone was kind towards him or accepted him considering he had always been the weird kid. No one but you wanted to spend time with him. Needless to say, Ghost had taken a liking to you when he was younger. You spent your time with him, you even defended him when some of the other kids ridiculed him. And now, 12 years later, he finds you running after a coin you accidentally dropped on the ground, bumping into him as you did so. He’d be wide eyed at first, a bit quiet as well. Once you left he never would have thought he’d ever find someone like you again, but here you were, just as quiet and surprised to see him. Ghost would pick up the coin for you and ask you how you’ve been. It had been a while. Although he’s not usually one to smile, especially not in public, you could see him faintly do so. He’s become a quiet man, so he won’t be talking too much about everything, especially not everything that happened after he joined the military, but he’s more than willing to talk to you about other matters. His life has become better over the past few years, but that doesn’t mean he isn't scarred still. He’ll offer you a walk to just about anywhere, really, even if the final destination will always end up being one of the places you used to hang out in as children. An abandoned house, a park, a mall. Manchester is a fairly large city, so there’s much to see. It would be a bit rough to catch up with him entirely, but he loves to hear about everything you’ve accomplished. You’ve become such a mature person, it warms his heart to see how far you’ve come in life. Back then, when everything was so bleak, when neither of you thought you’d see your 28th birthdays, everything was different. But now, you’re smiling at him as you’re drinking your milkshake. You seem to be better off, and so is he. It makes him nostalgic to see all of this, but he’s happy. Ghost will offer you to come to his home if you want. Even now, he still loves you dearly as a friend and couldn’t be happier about the fact he’s found you again by chance.

Laswell: When she was young she was a healthy mix of rowdy and good. While she never caused much trouble, she did stand up for herself when she needed to. However, this alone was enough to get the attention of some awful people. People either liked her or hated her, there usually was no inbetween for them. Some people did try to bully her, but it never ended well since she would fight for herself, plus she had some good friends who would do the same for her. However, none of them could compare to you, as you were her best friend. All her joys she would celebrate with you, and all of her sadness she would share with you. Back then, things were simpler, something small meant the end of the world, but you always had each other’s backs. Laswell tries to not think about you too much since you slowly drifting apart is quite painful to her. As she grew older, she learned to live with the pain and it didn’t bother her as much. Still, she was very happy when you were sending her a message after all this time. She may have been at work, but responded to you immediately, having missed you just as much as you missed her. Once you meet up it’s evident you’ve both grown a lot older. Laswell has been working for the CIA since her twenties, so it’s been almost thirty years. You have a lot to catch up on, but you take your time, eating at a fancy restaurant and spending hours there, laughing at everything that’s happened. Laswell would show you photos of all the places she’s visited during her downtime. She’s seen almost the entire world, some of it with her wife, some of it without her. Although she doesn’t usually tell people she’s married, to another woman too, she knows you’re a safe person, you’ve always accepted her as she was. Considering how happy you looked when you saw her wife, she continued to tell you about the world. But you get your chance to tell her about everything that’s happened to you as well. If the conversation goes especially well, Laswell might invite you to a few outings every once in a while, after you’ve met up a few more times. Plus you get to meet her wife eventually as well, which is a real privilege. Considering how much she loves her and wants to protect her, not many know about her. It’ll be fun either way since you get to make more memories together again.

#cod #cod x reader #john price #john price x reader #price x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #seeing that someone read my rambles actually really cheered me up yesterdy so thank you for that! #this request was really sweet. I have a friend who I miss so dearly even now #I still dream of her from time to time. she was my best friend but I never was hers #Sometimes I wish I had the guts to text her but I'm awkward and can't hold a conversation to save my life so I'll have to live like that #oh well! it happens unfortunately! wish it didn't though! #anyway as much as I love to romance the lads and the lasses there's something so wholesome about friendship too! #especially a really good one where you can goof around and have fun and give each other sweet gifts! #Love friendship! friendships are fun! I'm glad I get to write platonic stuff every once in a while as well! #I'm not a romantic person at all irl but I can appreciate a good friendship! #thank you for this request it was very cool and epic!