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#i wish i could sue him i hate him so much
jslittlebirdie · 2 years
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I'm yearning for my husband. I miss him. I need him. I want him.
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inkskinned · 10 months
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there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.
it is harder.
it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.
it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?
it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister
on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving
it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.
i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.
it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 6 months
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Danny and Damien are twins au, but a slightly redeemed vlad makes Danny the CEO of Vlad Co and DALV and all his other shell companies. Danny is danny, he got pushed into this against his will and is very overwhelmed by CEO duties, so he reaches out to one of his father's sons, Timothy Drake-Wayne, for advice
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So, danny definitely knows his heritage in this au. He was the spare to Damien's heir, and while their relationship was strained by the constant competition, they still love each other, even when Danny started to show more proficiency in infiltration and subterfuge than assassination. Damien and Danny have a huge fight before Danny leaves, with Damien swearing to never forgive Danny for his betrayal, while Danny is like "what betrayal??? I just cant bring myself to kill someone outside of self-defense??"
(One of the things I hate about Danny and Damien Twin AUs is this depiction that, just because (usually) Danny is unwilling to kill, that makes him weak and a traitor. You think the medical staff in the LoA are assassinating people? Or the lawyers? He's not useless, he's just not good as an assassin)
He was sent to the Fentons at like... seven? eight? to study how the Fentons are purifying lazurus waters from Jack and Maddie, both of whom are partly sponsored by the League of Assassins. He's also learning more about spying from Jack, surprisingly, because no one would expect him of being a top tier spy. He has the occasional mission as a child, but it's mostly shadowing Jack to learn how to spy.
Danny sends letters to both Talia and Damien regarding updates on his training and the Fenton's research, but after a year of no reply from Damien, it's only to Talia. He's feels super hurt by this, and abandoned by the LoA, but the Fentons are kind and familial, and Talia visits once a year. She's unwilling to risk visiting more often, lest she risk getting the JL or the Spiders attention, but sometimes she even manages to visit on his birthday!
(Meanwhile, Talia starts sending birthday assassins to kill Damien so she can spend their birthday with Danyal. She's a really hot and cold mom.
Talia: You can choose me, and have a birthday dinner. Or you can choose your father and have a birthday assassin. You're choice. )
When Slade blows up the LoA, Danyal is given permanent orders to remain as Daniel Fenton until Talia, and only Talia, brings him back to the League. No missions and only one letter every six months. But when Ra's comes back to life and the League is back in power, Talia... never tells Danyal. Because she's seen how happy Damien is being a normal child with their father and wants that for Danyal too. Plus, she wants to continue to have a good relationship one of her children, sue her bruce.
So Danny is completely convinced that the League is mostly gone other than his mother, her zealots, and knows that his brother is living with their father. and he's... relieved. His brother is safe, and his mom told him their grandfather was avenged, so Danny can just enjoy his life. Which he does.
He sends out his six month report days before the portal accident.
Canon stuff happens until Danny is sixteen and Vlad, the fruitloop, steps down as CEO and strong-arms Danny into becoming CEO in his place. Jack and Maddie (who at this point know [or have always known in Jack's case, adn Danny didn't appreciate his dad using his his poker face against him like that] about Phantom) are thrilled.
Vlad is using his "foster son" (Dark Danny, but in this idea, he's Dante Masters) as an excuse as to why he's stepping down, since Dante needs all the attention he can give as a "troubled youth". Danny secretly hopes Dante kills Vlad in his sleep, but signs the papers away.
And there's so much work.
Danny has some idea of what he's doing (Vlad co is a tech company and DALV is weapons manufacturing, plus vlad gave him a crash course on CEOing). Sam and Tuck even help! But he wishes there was someone who could understand the pain of being a CEO while still a teen. But... his father's son, his brother, is one such person. And even though the other would never know, he really wanted to get to know his other siblings. So Danny reaches out for advice to Timothy Drake-Wayne.
Tim is immediately on guard when this Damien clone walks into his office claiming to be the new Vlad Co CEO. The clone acts nothing like Damien, but he still thinks this Danny Fenton is a league plant.
His paranoia doubles when Damien freaks out and confesses that A) Danny is apparently his twin brother and B) that he's been with the League of Assassins this whole time. Damien, who really doesn't want to admit that the reason he forced himself to forget his brother was because said brother didn't want to kill people, says "Tch. I didn't want to associate with the likes of him, so I put him out of my mind." Tim now believes that he's dealing with a master assassin with a huge grudge against Damien and Danyal showing no signs of malicious or aggression in their meetings only convinces him that Danyal is a master actor too.
Which, Danyal is a master actor. But all that other stuff is just Tim reaching.
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ellecdc · 19 days
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Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫
But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!
Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.
Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.
Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵
......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈
poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)
Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.
Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.
But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.
His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.
Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.
If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.
But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.
One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting. 
He did not wish to be known, thank you very much. 
And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.
He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.
So yeah, Sirius was pissed.
And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much.  And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness. 
Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.
Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?
Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place. 
And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater. 
And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.
But Sirius did know better.
“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.
Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”
“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.
“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.
“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”
“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”
Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”
“Hi Reggie!” 
“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind. 
“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.
Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.
Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.
It made Sirius sick. 
“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else. 
You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.
Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.
“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.
You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.
“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.
Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.
“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously. 
Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.
“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple. 
“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed. 
“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.
“What?” Sirius squawked.
“Be nice.” He chided.
“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer. 
“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.
“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.
Sirius hated every single one of them.
But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today. 
Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.
“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.
The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.
Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.
Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?
Except...you breezed right past him.
“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.
“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.
“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.
“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.
Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.
What the fuck was going on right now!? 
“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.
You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you. 
“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.
“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you. 
You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.
“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”
His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.
“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”
Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.
“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”
You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.
“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. 
Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”
“No.” Sirius muttered. 
“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”
And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...
Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.
Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...
Love.
A lot of love. 
“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.
“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius. 
“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.
“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.
“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided. 
“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag. 
“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.
Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.
Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...
Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.
And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible. 
Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this. 
“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.
Literally.
“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you. 
“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.
Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.
“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor. 
“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.
“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.
“Pads...”
“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.  
“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”
The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”
“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.
“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”
Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”
“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.
“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.
Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.
“Remus.” Regulus warned.
Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.
“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”
“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary. 
“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted. 
“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.  
don't hate me
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kaleldobrev · 5 months
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The Day Before
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Summary: Dean comforts you when you get a migraine
Word Count: 743
Warnings: None, just soft!Dean & Fluff
Authors Note: Yes, I did in fact write this while on my monthly, sue me | If you have never experienced a migraine, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡
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Your head was pounding as the lights were off and you were tucked underneath the blankets and pillows as if you were in some sort of dark cave in the middle of the night. As much as you didn't want to be under all of these pillows and blankets, it was the only way you could remotely function right now, as even the slightest amount of light streaming in from the hallway had bothered your eyes.
When you had a migraine, it was hard for you to do anything, as your eyes were insanely sensitive to any and all amount of light; even the minimal light from your phone screen had bothered you. All you wanted to do was just lie down and not do anything. One of the worst parts, is sometimes, even when you had taken Excedrin — which was usually the cure all migraine medication for you — it would sometimes simply just turn your migraine into a headache. A headache for you was manageable, but still, you didn't want any kind of head pain.
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As you were about to fall asleep, you heard the bedroom door open, and you refused to look up as you knew that more light would have been streaming into the room, which would have made things worse for you. "Sweetheart you in here?" Dean asked. Normally, you loved his voice, but right now it was just another pain to you as his voice sounded louder than normal.
"Yes," you said, your voice muffled. "Please don't turn on the lights, and keep the door shut. And please don't talk so loud."
"What? I'm sorry Y/N, I didn't hear you," he said, his voice the same volume as before. You took a deep breath, counting to five. You didn't want to snap at him, that was the last thing that you had wanted to do, but at the same time, repeating yourself was something that you had hated doing.
You uncovered yourself from your makeshift pillow and blanket cave and began speaking just a bit louder. "I said, please don't turn on the lights, and please keep the door shut," you said. "I have a massive migraine right now."
"Oh Sweetheart," he said, lowering his voice, a second later he shut the door behind him. "Is it that warning migraine you get before your period or just a run of the mill one?"
You sighed. "Period."
"Ah," he replied. "Say no more." Dean walked over to his closet and pulled out a couple of towels before walking back over to the door. He kneeled down, and placed the towels in front of the door so the light from the hallway wouldn't be streaming into the room anymore.
Dean had never once in his life experienced a migraine, the closest he ever got to experiencing them is when you would have them, or when you had described to him the way that they felt. From the way you had acted, and from the way you had described them, it was a type of pain that he wished he could help you get rid of permanently. But even though there was no way for him to transfer the pain from you to him, the best he could do in the moment was try and help you in any way that he could.
Once he placed the towels in front of the door blocking the light so now it was pitch black in the room, he took of his boots and jeans and got underneath the covers with you. "Come here Sweetheart," he said softly, holding his arms out for you to come over to him. You switched positions, so now your face was buried into his chest, your head tucked underneath his chin as his arms completely wrapped around you. "You took your Excedrin already?"
You nodded into his chest. "Yeah, it's not working," you said weakly. He kissed the top of your head, and you nuzzled yourself deeper into his chest. "But you being here helps."
"I'll always be here to help you Sweetheart," he said. "With whatever you need."
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You felt yourself start to slowly drift off to sleep, despite the slight pounding still going on in your head. When you had told Dean that him being here with you did in fact help you, you truly did mean it; and you were thankful that he would always be there to help you with whatever you needed.
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Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @jackles010378 @mrsjenniferwinchester @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream If you'd like to be added to a tag list, let me know!
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spid3namy · 5 months
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— FOOTBALL
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pairing : football player e!1610 miles x cheerleader black!female reader
summary : you and miles have a sweet little before and after game ritual
contains : fluff , kissing
word count : 577
notes : this is my peace offering for the angst i made earlier and all the angst that will be coming later on LMAO
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“Amor, I gotta get on the field. I can’t keep kissin’ you right now.” 
You pout but otherwise let go of Miles’ face, your hands dropping to your thighs. Miles gives you a sweet smile and grabs his helmet from beside you, giving you one last kiss before he runs towards the field. 
You let out a dramatic sigh and stare at him as he goes to his teammates. You were proud of him and all but sometimes you just wished that he didn’t have to leave so soon! Maybe you were just being clingy.
Actually.. You knew you were. 
That was besides the point though! The point is, you already missed him and he was only three feet away from you. 
“Y/N! Hurry up and get over here!” 
You blink and look over to whoever was yelling at you. Your teammate, Kylie, was screaming for you to hurry up so you could do your cheer routine for half time. You let out a heavy sigh and pull your hair up into a high ponytail, putting your cheer bow on before you jog over to the other girls. 
You already knew that you would be the loudest person cheering for your boyfriend. You always were. It often gets you in trouble. Not that you really cared. Sue you for wanting to support your boyfriend. 
You couldn’t help but stare at the way that Miles played. He was so skilled. It was kinda hot. 
It wasn’t a secret that you found him hot. Especially when he was playing. Hell, everyone knew he was hot! But you were the only one lucky enough to be dating him. 
The game was pretty fine, Visions obviously won. Miles was the MVP as always. Most games were the same. Miles would steal the show before you and the rest of the cheer team did your amazing routine during half-time. 
Miles loved watching you cheer. He went to every practice whenever he didn’t have practice just to see you. He was so hopelessly in love with you. Everyone could see it. Now, Miles wasn’t the stereotypical jock, he was actually really smart. He was a “nerd” as you called him. He took pride in his smarts and good grades. He never really had to worry about getting kicked off the team.
When the game had ended, Miles immediately went to go find you. He always did. 
“There you are, hermosa. I was lookin’ for you”
You chuckled and rolled your eyes playfully, allowing your eyes to move to look at him. Of course he was. You even knew he was looking for you. He was pretty predictable. 
“I ain’t even go no way, Miles.”
Miles chuckled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, much to your dismay. You loved him, of course you did, but you hated how he would be so close to you whenever he was sweaty. Some girls might be okay with that but you definitely weren’t.
“You stink, Miles.”
“Hey!”
“What? It ain’t my fault that you’re all sweaty and stinky.”
“Oh like you smell any better.”
“Don’t play with me, Miles. I will hit your ass.”
Miles chuckled and rolled his eyes playfully, allowing himself to turn his head towards you. He grabbed your chin lightly and kissed you sweetly. It was his way of shutting you up without actually telling you to shut up. He knew you were no joke. 
Kisses were always your game rituals.
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rebelfell · 5 months
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The Third Date
Eddie Munson x Anorgasmic!Reader
When you move back to Hawkins after graduating college, you find yourself reconnecting with an old friend in a new way. Your first two dates with Eddie Munson are everything you’d ever dreamed, but the next one has you unraveling.
Part One. Part Two.
cw: childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, fem!reader, deceased parent, mentions of poor sexual experiences, some drinking, sexual anxiety, making out, fingering, panic attack, eddie being sweet and reassuring, fluffy ending.
I was kinda in my feelings and needed Eddie to tell me all the right things. Sue me. 7k 18+, MDNI
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You used to like this mirror.
It was vintage. Full length with an ornate gold frame, swirling embellishments on the top and sides. Not to mention it was a fucking steal at $10 from an estate sale. You’d liked it enough to make it one of the scant number of things you hauled all the way back to Hawkins when you moved out of your shoebox apartment in the city.
Right now, though? You kind of hated it. 
Usually, standing before it made you feel stately and elegant, even if all you had on was ratty denim shorts and a threadbare t-shirt riddled with holes and bleach stains. Yet here you were in one of your favorite outfits, hair meticulously styled, face glowing and dewy after spending an hour on it, and all you felt was ridiculous.
Not the mirror’s fault, technically. But it was the messenger. It told you at every twist of your hips, at every outfit change, at every pluck and tug of your clothes, that you were never going to look right—that you were never going to feel right. And it mocked your every failed attempt to do so.
You inhale, breath shallow and shaky as you try yet again to calm down. It’s just a date, you remind yourself. It’s just a date and he’s just a guy. There’s nothing to be worried about. 
Except it wasn’t just a date. It was the auspicious Third Date.
And it certainly wasn’t just a guy…it was Eddie.
This was something you’d been waiting for forever. For longer than forever. For longer than you could count. Eddie Munson was your oldest and dearest friend. Growing up, you were like each other’s second heads—facing the worst of what small minds in a small town in Indiana cooked up. You stood, middle fingers brandished like swords, dreaming of a wider world.
It felt strange to think this would only be your third date when you’d basically been dating since you were thirteen. You went to movies together, wasted weekday afternoons at the record store, lounged on the gravelly bank of Lover’s Lake reading well-worn paperbacks—Two Towers for him, Dorothy Parker for you. He begged you to sit in on Hellfire when he started the club your junior year and only had three members, himself included. He’d sneak you into the dive bar where his band played Tuesday nights, and you would immediately stick out among the five drunks who assembled every week. But as long as all you ordered was ginger ale and swore up and down you weren’t a cop, the bartender let you sit there all night to watch him.
Nights never ended the way “real” dates did. No hands being held as he walked you from his van to your doorstep; no kisses under flickering porch lights scored by a cricket symphony.
He never touched you too much, always quick to withdraw his hands when they lingered on your hip or back or arm. That would change, though, if he smoked or drank a bit and his cuddly side came out. Secretly, you longed for these times. You reveled in having his chin rest on your shoulder or his arms wind around your waist to hold you close. It never felt gross or crossed the line into groping like with other, lesser, guys looking for something to fondle. With Eddie, it felt more like he was showing you how he wished he could be all the time.
At least that’s what you let yourself imagine. 
He always apologized the following day, just short of castrating himself over it. It made you want to slap him. Slap him and then kiss him and slap him again. How could he not get it? How could he not see how goddamn in love with him you were? How could he not feel the same way? You waved him off, assuring him he hadn’t done anything wrong. All the while thinking, you fucking idiot, and not even knowing if you were referring to him or yourself.
Then came graduation. Or rather, your graduation and his sullen admission he wasn't eligible, which lead to the longest, most difficult conversation of your lives so far. It wasn’t even a conversation so much as it was you swinging wildly between reactions—scolding him for not telling you sooner; grasping at the straws of extra credit assignments your teachers would never assign; volunteering to stand guard while he broke into the administration office.
Eventually, though, you had to face the reality of losing him and it left a prominent break in your heart. Your acceptance letter to a school in Indianapolis that used to make you feel weightless, like you could finally fly out of here, now felt more like chains dragging you away.
You had half a mind to take him with you. You must have rehearsed the speech you wanted to make something like fifty times. Screw Hawkins, you’d say. Screw their closed minds and their disdain for anything even a little different. He could get his GED—you’d help him, happily. He could find work in the city and take community college classes or go to trade school. The two of you could live together and watch slasher movies every Friday night, falling asleep on his chest when you got tired just as you’d done all throughout high-school.
Of course those thoughts inevitably spiraled into what would happen once he started dating. A bigger city meant a bigger pool of people, all with the potential to realize the kind, sweet, caring boy who was bursting with passion for his fantasy games and music and his other rich interests was actually a massive catch and not a social pariah. In no time, it would be someone else falling asleep on his chest and you watching them be carried to his bed.
You couldn’t bear the thought of that. Maybe even moreso, you couldn't bear the thought of asking him to come with you and him saying “no.”
So, you went alone. You packed up your car with the barest necessities, you kissed your dad goodbye and said you’d see him at Christmas. But it was Eddie who saw you off, taking you into his arms and holding you there with your head tucked under his chin. You buried your face in his chest, tears leaking onto the patches you’d helped him sew on his denim vest. He told you how proud he was and how much he was gonna miss you. He said to write. To send pictures.
All you could do was sniffle.
At college, you tried expanding your horizons. You joined a couple clubs to make new friends and started going to parties. You met people like Carl. And even though he was handsome and seemed nice enough, you turned him down when he asked you to dinner. It wasn’t until much later, when your roommate scolded you for doing so, that you even felt some doubt about it. What was even the point when you knew he wasn’t what you wanted?
Except what you wanted might never be yours.
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That first trip home to Hawkins was wildly unnerving. You knew it hadn’t actually been that long since you left. But why did it feel so strange that everything felt exactly the same? Had you really changed so much already that your home no longer felt like home? 
Even seeing Eddie again felt like rupturing old wounds you thought had successfully scabbed over. You withdrew from him without even realizing you were doing it. He knew something was wrong, but didn’t dare voice it. His greatest fear loomed: you were done with Hawkins. 
Done with him.
It took a while to strike the balance between the old and the new. You’d run away so fast and tried to overwrite everything in your life, returning to Hawkins felt like entering a fantasy world. And Eddie became like an apparition, a specter of everything you missed most. 
You started writing to him more, sharing stories about your classes, gossip in the dorms, drunk adventures in the city. And he wrote back, telling you all about the new members of Hellfire who also happened to play instruments and were eager to replace the members of Corroded Coffin who had graduated and moved away. Eventually, the letters became more like a diary. 
You could confess things you’d never imagined telling anyone—stuff about your mom and how you’d spent every day wondering if she’d be proud of you; how you worried about your dad and wondered if he would ever get over her; how you feared you might never find love like theirs and even if you did, how it might be taken away from you like it was from them.
And he confessed back to you. Amidst his ideas for new D&D campaigns and song lyrics, he gave you deeper insight on things you knew already—his father’s sordid criminal history and his mother’s inability to cope, which led to her dropping Eddie on his uncle’s doorstep at the ripe old age of eleven. Reading about Hawkins through his eyes made it feel more real and less like a dream you’d woken up from. It kept that connection open, a bridge between your worlds, so  you could experience college and all the new things it had to offer, but still felt connected.
Then the end of your sophomore year brought more bad news. 
Again, he wasn’t eligible. Again, he wasn’t graduating.
You’d not been able to let go of that fantasy of him joining you at school. Every time you walked across the quad, leaves crunching beneath your boots, sunlight dying as it dipped behind the old brick buildings and cast everything in a hazy golden autumn glow, you imagined a pair of clean, white sneakers next to yours and a ringed hand squeezing your fingers.
He promised you this was his year. Swore it, in fact. ‘86, baby! he’d scrawled big and messy under his signature at the end of one of his letters. And maybe it would. He said he was doing better—army crawling his way towards a D in Mrs. O'Donnell's class, already planning how he would snatch his diploma and flip the bird at the principal as he walked the stage.
He was certain enough it made you start to believe it too.
You never dared to broach the subject of what he wanted to do after graduation. He hadn’t mentioned applying to any colleges or looking for work. The rest of the band was graduating with him. Maybe they’d all move here to get more exposure. Maybe they wanted to record a demo they could pass out to record companies. Or maybe Eddie wanted to go solo.
The lack of information made you antsy. Was he being decidedly cagey about his plans? Was he hiding something? Or was he just afraid of disappointing you again?
It was nearing the end of the school year when you finally broke. You had to see him.
For once, your spring breaks were going to overlap. You blew off your classes on Friday to make the drive and managed to get to Hawkins High just as the final bell was ringing. His van still sat in the parking lot and you pulled in alongside it to wait, practically jumping out of your skin with excitement. Thirty whole minutes crawled by before you finally spotted him.
He emerged from the woods at the back of the practice sport fields, chattering with ease to maybe the last person on earth you would have expected to see.
Chrissy Cunningham was just as pretty as she’d always been. She was a couple years behind you and Eddie in school, but everyone knew of her from the moment she made the varsity cheer squad as a freshman—a staggering feat no one else had ever managed. She still had the same bouncy ponytail, the same enormous eyes and cherubic cheeks you imagined must ache at the end of each day from her constant smiling. And she was somehow smiling even wider than normal at whatever Eddie was saying as he grinned back at her.
It made your stomach churn thinking what they could have been doing to have her smiling like that. You knew he’d started dealing for Reefer Rick to earn extra money, but in what universe would the queen of Hawkins High be struck with the urge to buy a bag of skunky weed? 
Unless it wasn’t weed she was after at all.
Panic doused your body. You jammed your key back in the ignition and sped out of the lot, praying he didn’t see you. You drove straight back to school, tears streaming down your face for the entire journey, making you hate yourself more with every salty trail that stained your cheeks. Because what else did you expect? For him to pine for you like you did for him? For him to be like you and not date anyone, ever? To keep everyone who even attempted to get close at a distance? Reserving a space in your heart for someone who might not even want to fill it?
You loved him more now than you ever had. Even without seeing him every day, even without having him constantly at your side. If anything, it had gotten worse. Your feelings piled up within you just as his letters did in your room. They all lived in a box under your shitty dorm bed to be pulled out over and over and over so you could parse every line for hidden meaning. Crying at his words, so heartfelt and honest you didn’t even notice the grammatical and spelling errors.
By the time you got back to campus, you felt raw and spent. Your face was streaked with tears and you were breathless from crying. For days, you walked around campus like a ghost until you bumped into Carl, the only other soul not off on some debaucherous Spring Break trip. And when he asked you for seemingly the hundredth time if he could buy you dinner…you said yes.
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It came in the mail a few months later. Your address scribbled messily on an invitation to the Hawkins High Class of 1986 graduation. Eddie had included a photocopy of his final grades and written “proof it’s not a clerical error” with a little smiley face in the corner.
You called him that night to tell him how proud of him you were. And you were proud of him. So unbelievably proud. But when he asked if you were coming, you lied. You said your boyfriend’s parents would be in town and that he wanted you to meet them. You told him how sorry you were, all the while thinking Chrissy could congratulate him enough for the both of you. 
And in spite of yourself…you let yourself pretend you heard a little dejection in his voice when you used the word “boyfriend”—fictitious as it was.
The truth was, you’d only been officially dating Carl for a couple weeks. And he was perfectly nice. He’d kissed you and it felt fine. It didn’t quite live up to what you believed it should feel like, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe what you imagined wasn’t realistic. Maybe what you thought it should be wasn’t feasible.
Maybe you just had to let that go.
And dating Carl was simple and uncomplicated. It served a purpose. It made you feel at least like you weren’t languishing in a wasteland of your unrequited feelings. It made you feel like you were trying. Sure, the sex wasn’t great. But you hardly expected it to be good for you. 
You’d hooked up with the odd guy here and there over the years. It was a pattern that began with some guy you met downtown whose assignment was to keep you occupied while his friend put the moves on your roommate. You were a little drunk and a lot lonely, so you’d gone along with it. It was quick. A little uncomfortable. It certainly didn’t make you eager to repeat the experience. But at least you could say you’d done it.
Part of you thought maybe it would get better, but it never did. 
Even guys you thought were decent at first were quick to gloss over the preamble and lead up, jumping straight to stuffing themselves inside you with no regard to your winces of discomfort. It didn’t take long before you started to assume you had to be the problem. Even by yourself, it took you ages to reach any sort of precipice. And even when you did, even when you felt your heart rate rising and your body heaving in response, the pay-off was…underwhelming.
With Carl, you thought it could be different. Maybe you needed a deeper connection; maybe you needed a few times to get comfortable with someone to properly ascend that peak. But the more you did it with him, the less attainable that seemed. Maybe you were just broken. 
You also tried not to dwell on the fact that the only times you ever got close were when you pictured a different face hovering over yours; when you imagined your fingers twisted up in dark, shaggy curls; when you visualized pale skin littered with tattoos and sinewy arms caging you in; when you lit that one candle you only bought because it reminded you of Eddie’s cologne.
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The decision to move back home turned out to be less a decision and more a necessity.
A whole year out of school and you’d had truly terrible luck finding a job—at least a decent one that actually wanted to pay you. Carl, ever the charmer, wondered why you even wanted to work when you’d just wind up quitting when you got married. Really, you appreciated it. It was exactly the kind of comment you needed to jolt you out of a relationship that had been on autopilot.
You were a mess. Lost. Aimless. Barely treading water. Wishing you could call the one person you knew would cheer you up, but unsure if it would only result in more heartache. In the blink of an eye, it had been over five years since you left home and it was starting to feel like your only accomplishments were breaking up with your boyfriend and buying a mirror.
Then came the call from your dad.
He’d taken a nasty fall at his hardware store. He was fine, for the most part. But he was now significantly weaker and would have to have surgery as well as physical therapy after. And he certainly couldn’t run his store anymore. It had never run particularly smoothly to begin with and his books left something to be desired—another thing you’d be helping with once you moved back. He never outright asked you to do so, but he also didn’t have to.
The only good news was the bad news: a massive fire that disintegrated Starcourt Mall had led to an influx of renovations to the downtown area. In the wake of the mall’s destruction came a resurgence in small businesses that breathed life back into the desolation the mall caused.
It was in this newly resurrected downtown where Eddie was making his mark. He had opened a hobby shop where he still hosted his weekly D&D games with a lot of the kids who had originally been in his club. His store became like a beacon for all the kids (and even some of the adults) in Hawkins who felt there was no place for them. Eddie gave them somewhere to belong and celebrated all the things that made them targets of ridicule to everyone else.
It was also your first stop on your first day back.
The whole shop was so Eddie. As you walked inside and took in the decor, it seemed entirely possible he had just moved everything from his bedroom at Wayne’s right in here. He’d even rigged the entrance with a speaker that played the guitar riff of “Enter Sandman” when someone came through the door. 
You wished you could bottle the moment he came out front, your arrival signaled by the song.
“Holy shit…”
The box of miniatures and figurines he’d just finished pricing in the back fell to the floor with a thump and a rattle of plastic parts. He barely registered it, though. With round, unblinking eyes he stared, too stunned to move a muscle until a smile cracked his face wide open.
In just three long strides he crossed the store and swept you into his arms, lifting you up and whirling you around. “You’re here!” he gushed, arms crushing you around the middle in the most exquisite pain. “You’re really here!”
“I told you I was moving back!” 
You laughed heartily in his ear as he placed you back on the ground, telling yourself it must have been the unexpected lift making you breathless and not how the sunlight coming through the windows hit his eyes and made them shine like molten honey. He kept you close, letting his hands rest on your arms and squeezing them like he had to be sure you weren’t a mirage.
“I thought it was one of those ‘too good to be true’ things,” he said sheepishly, a pink blush creeping across his cheeks. “Had to see it to believe it.”
“Well, believe it,” you sighed.
You were already prepared for the loss of his touch, for when he would shamefully retract his hands, but he never did. He held you comfortably, his thumb lightly brushing over your skin. He let you go reluctantly, not regretfully, letting his fingertips trail softly down your arm.
“It’s so good to see you,” he said, his voice coated in warmth. “I missed you so much.”
You nodded, your throat pinched as you tried not to cry. “I…I missed you too.”
Eddie’s smile grew even bigger, his eyes seeming to dance with excitement. “Well, we have to celebrate,” he said. “I close up shop at six. Meet me back here and we’ll go to the Hideout?”
You stalled, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you considered. Almost on instinct, you’d nearly agreed right away. Old habits and what not. But did you want to fall immediately back into your old patterns? Hawkins had changed so little since you left, it felt too easy to slip back into the trap. Could you really go right back to hopelessly pining for him as you’d done so long?
“Come on,” Eddie urged, flashing those doe eyes he knew you couldn’t resist. “It’s one drink.”
“Okay, okay!” you laughed. “One drink.”
One drink turned out to be three. Starting with your first legal drink together at his old haunt while a different band of hopeful kids fumbled their way through clumsy Metallica covers.
“Please tell me we were never that young,” Eddie sighed, taking a swig of his beer.
“You’ve never been young,” you teased. “You came out of the womb a crotchety old man.”
A little later, you absconded to the corner booth and tucked yourselves away from the rowdiness of the growing crowd. You were flushed from the alcohol buzzing in your bloodstream and from how close Eddie was sitting. It felt just like old times, except it was nothing like old times.
Because this time, he was flirting with you. And not being subtle.
You thought maybe you were imagining it at first, but it only became more obvious the longer the night wore on. There was a whole new confidence and intention in the way he talked to you. He’d never been shy, never had any trouble drawing people in, but there was a fire lit behind his eyes tonight you’d never seen before. And you were the sole object of that blaze.
“So…still with Carl?” He finally asked, after bolstering himself to do so for the last three hours.
You took a long sip of your drink, eyes never leaving his over the rim of your glass. The liquor made you bold, the burn at the back of your throat adding smokiness to your voice.
“No-pe,” you said, popping your lips on the final syllable. Eddie smiled wolfishly and leaned in.
“Good,” he purred. “Cos that would have made it real awkward when I asked you out.”
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He took you to dinner two days later. Rang the doorbell and smiled at you as he stood on your porch wearing a black button down under a darker black velvet vest. His black jeans were a new- looking pair of the same kind he’d always worn, sans the ragged holes over his knees.
Despite the thin material of your sundress and the balmy weather outside, you were sweating with nerves. The breeze played with your skirt as he walked you to his van and the coolness of it on your clammy skin made you shiver. But when Eddie suddenly darted ahead of you to open your door and turned around with his hand held up to help you inside, it made you melt. 
The gesture filled your body with warmth, chasing away any hint of a chill.
After dinner, he suggested you walk a block or so to a bar where Eddie liked to play pool. And as you did, his hand reached for yours and he threaded your fingers together. You stared down at it, stunned. How many times had you wished he would do that? How many times did you imagine the heat of his palm against yours mixing with the coolness of his chunky silver rings on his fingers? It had always seemed so impossible and he’d just done it.
Like it was nothing. Like he’d done it a thousand times before. Easy. Natural.
He held your hand all the way into the bar, only letting go of you to accept a tray of balls from the bartender when Eddie requested a table. With a couple of beers in hand, you followed him to his favorite one that was tucked away in a little alcove, practically private.
You set down the beers and watched as he racked the balls, gaze lingering on his long frame and chuckling at the way he shimmied his hips as he leaned over the table to break. “Eyes on me,” he told you, playful smile revealing his teeth.
It was a redundant request, because it was entirely impossible to look anywhere else.
Eddie had filled out quite a bit since high-school. He was never an athlete by any means, but evidently a regime of guitar playing and dice throwing was enough to maintain decent tone. You stared at him unabashed as he walked around the table, lining up his shot. His vest now flapped open and he’d rolled up his shirtsleeves to reveal the familiar smattering of bats under his elbow and the puppetmaster etched inside his forearm. It made you wonder how many more tattoos—new ones you’d not yet seen—were hiding under the rest of his clothes. He smirked at you, smug as he leaned over the table, thoroughly enjoying the way your eyes followed him.
“See something you like, sweetheart?” he drawled before sinking a bank shot.
You rolled your eyes, trying to fein being unimpressed. “Trying to distract me, Munson?” you asked, chalking the tip of your cue in a much more sensual manner than necessary, letting your fingers lazily stroke the stick as Eddie watched transfixed. He huffed a laugh at the display.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Evidently, both of you were equally distracted. Most of your games lagged for a mutual inability to sink more than one shot in a row as the other did their best to pull focus. It was far easier for you, having only to lean forward slightly across the table from him to reveal a healthy dose of your cleavage. That, coupled with a coy smile and batting eyelashes, spelled disaster for Eddie. Everytime you did it, he’d scratch his shot and chuckle dryly at his own hubris.
He took a different approach, choosing instead to stand as close to you as he could as you lined up your shots. His musk and cologne filled your nose, a tantalizing woodsy smell that made your head spin as you struggled to keep your eyes on the ball. He rested his hip against the table, handcuff belt buckle glinting as it reflected the light from the lamp hanging overhead.
You could practically hear the childish taunt of not touching you, not touching you.
“Just take your shot, baby,” he cooed, low and husky. The sound made your heart hammer.
A couple hours of teasing and toying later, both of you were ready to explode. Your glasses sat empty on the nearby table, neither of you terribly interested in a refill. And as Eddie sunk the eight ball again, his eyes flashed to the tray for the balls rather than going to re-rack them.
“I guess I should get you home?” he asked.
A little sullen at the idea, you nodded and returned your cues to a rack on the wall while Eddie brought the balls back to the bartender and settled the tab. Only when you were walking back to the table to get your purse and passed a pair of men who reeked of tobacco did something occur to you: Eddie hadn’t taken a smoke break once.
“Did you quit?” you asked, staring at him with wide eyes. He smiled as he drew nearer to you, relishing the way your chest heaved as you reacted to his closeness.
“Took a couple years, but yeah,” he said. “Sometimes I still need a little help, though.”
He tugged his shirttail out from the waistband of his jeans, causing his belt and the chain on his wallet to jingle slightly as he lifted his shirt to flash a strip of his stomach. You’re so distracted by the action and the cut of his v-muscle it takes a few seconds to register the beige nicotine patch stuck on his hip. You stared at him and then back at it, fingers itching to reach out and touch.
He leaned in, his face the closest it had been to yours all night, his voice hushed so only you could hear. “For when I’m really nervous,” he said.
Streetlights and stars blurred as you stepped out of the bar and he whirled you into the alley. The rough brick scraped your back and snagged on your dress as you were flattened against it and you gazed up at Eddie, string lights overhead shining brightly in your eyes.
“Are you ready?” he asked softly. “Are you ready for this to start?”
You swallowed hard, feeling the weight his eyes trained on your face. Your hands settled lightly on his waist and you gave an impatient tug as you nodded. It was all the invitation he needed. 
His mouth met yours like the sun met the horizon. The softest kiss you’d ever had deepened gradually until you were grasping at him, fisting his shirt in your fingers. Your lips felt molded together, pliant to the other’s movements, but still insistent as they chased one another.
Control shifted subtly between you, taking turns drawing the other in and pulling back. More teasing, more toying. Yet you never denied each other long, unable to stay apart.
God, this was it. This was what it was always supposed to feel like.
It could have been hours you stood out there kissing and laughing, but you’d never have known. The only thing that alerted you to the passing of time was when the lights inside the bar shut off and the employees filed out for their final smoke break before heading home.
Giggling like terrible criminals begging to be caught, you and Eddie hugged the shadows and made your way back to his van. You rode home with your panties soaked, subtly shifting in your seat, trying not to think about the arousal pooled between your thighs. And at home, back in your room, you were so tempted to dip your fingers into the slickness as you thought about Eddie’s breath on your lips; how the ends of his curls tickled your sternum when he leaned into you; the way his scent lingered on your skin after being pressed between his body and that wall. 
But you didn’t dare risk the disappointment that would follow when your pleasure receded like waves being drawn into a riptide; when you backed down from the edge of that cliff, feeling even emptier after not reaching that peak. Again. No, you couldn’t spoil this night with all that.
You saw him more throughout the week. He started popping into your father’s store almost as soon as it opened, offering you coffee and a kiss. And he spent the first hour of the morning with you at the front counter, propped up on his elbow with his chin resting on the heel of his hand.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you asked, swatting him with a folded up newspaper after you finished doing the jumble together.
He just shrugged with all the casual ease of somebody whose own shop didn’t open until 11. Or noon if he was hungover. “What could be better than hanging out with my favorite girl?”
Favorite girl. The words lived in your brain all day. It made you positively giddy every time you thought about it, even causing you to accidentally enter a customer’s 15% discount as 51% and not even bother correcting it. The loss on a value pack of paint brushes and trays seemed a paltry fee for the smile that spread across old Mrs. Gershwin’s face when she saw her total.
Eddie started calling every night at 9:30, practically on the dot, and it didn’t take long for you to get in the habit of settling into your bed around that time so you could pick up the receiver in your room before the ringing disturbed your dad dozing in his recliner downstairs. 
“So when do I get to take you out again?” he asked, clearly not oblivious to how it made you melt on the other end of the line. 
You blushed your way through making arrangements for an early movie Saturday followed by dinner. Then, before beginning the long process of saying your goodnights, you paused to ask him the thing you’d been wondering since that night at the Hideout.
“Eddie…are we really doing this?” you asked, torn between giddiness and trepidation.
“I certainly am,” he hummed into the receiver.
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He talked the whole way through the movie and still had more to say at dinner afterward. 
It didn’t bother you, though. You loved listening to him talk. Your ears had gone so long without his rambling, it was more like music than words. His feet toyed with yours under the table and after you ordered dessert, he excused himself to use the bathroom only to slide into your side of the booth when he came back. You giggled over tiramisu and cheesecake, your sides pressed together from shoulder to ankle. Later, the tastes of your desserts would mix in your mouths as he kissed you deeply in his car dropping you off.
Everything about it felt so alive. So ripe with the promise of what this could turn into, what it had already become. In two dates with Eddie, you felt more connection than you had in two years of dating Carl. Not that it was fair comparing them. Nothing and no one could ever compare to this.
It was a Wednesday when he made a new proposition. You had already crawled into bed and swathed yourself in blankets to wait for his call. And after the few customary minutes of talking about your respective days, he brought up his idea for Friday night.
“Would you want to come over here for dinner?” he asked.
“You…you mean like your place?”
“I was thinking mine, but if your heart is set on a neighbor’s, I’m sure breaking in wouldn’t be too difficult.” He’s smirking so hard you swear you can hear it over the phone. 
“I guess yours will do,” you chuckled. “Does this mean I’ll get to see The Hair in person?”
Eddie was living with Steve Harrington, which had taken a commanding lead for being the most confusing thing you’d learned since returning home. Apparently they’d been brought together by a shared friendship with Dustin Henderson, one of the kids from Hellfire Eddie had taken under his batwing during his third and final senior year. Dustin had spent months insisting both boys would get along if they only gave the other a chance until his badgering paid off.
Now, the pair shared a tiny apartment downtown, walking distance from Eddie’s shop and only a short drive to Family Video where Steve was now the manager. And Dustin evidently couldn’t go five minutes without congratulating himself for bringing the two of them together. Eddie liked to joke that they were now co-parenting the little shithead (affectionate).
“Actually, Steve is out of town this weekend,” Eddie said, struggling to contain his excitement and keep his cool. “So, we’ll have the place to ourselves.”
Breathe, breathe, breathe. “Oh, yeah?” you said, voice spiking just an octave too high.
“Yep. And, um…you could stay over if you wanted? If that sounds good to you?”
Stay over. You knew what that meant. There was something gut wrenchingly endearing about the way he asked—the innocent peal of his voice. But there was no doubt in your mind what he was getting at. This wasn’t going to be like crashing on his couch after a movie night or pouring yourself into his bed after a Corroded Coffin show that lasted to the wee hours.
This would be something new. Something completely different.
“That sounds great,” you said, finally.
And it did sound great. It just also sounded a little terrifying.
Admittedly, you hadn’t been on many dates in your life. But television and film had successfully indoctrinated you with knowledge of that classic Third Date milestone. And it made sense. He wasn’t some stranger. You’d known each other for so long, it stood to reason things would continue to accelerate between you. And was that such a bad thing? 
This was Eddie, after all. He was your best friend. He was your other half. You weren’t sure if  you even believed in soul mates, so to speak, but if they did exist you couldn’t imagine anyone besides him in that role. He had stoked life into the coals within you that you were certain had burnt into a lump of ash. You never felt with anyone the way you felt with him. 
So if you were gonna do this, you were gonna do it right.
You went shopping, fighting off anxious nausea as you perused the racks of lingerie in the far corner of a little boutique. Averting your eyes from the more salacious options, you settled on a matching set of midnight blue embroidered with silver thread to look like stars. It was made of thin mesh that gave the illusion of coverage, but revealed plenty through the sheer netting.
It also looked a little like something a wizard might wear. And for obvious reasons, you had a feeling Eddie might like that. 
Securing your purchase you thought might make you feel more prepared, but it only caused your thoughts to unravel further. This was the first time Eddie would be seeing your underwear and it wasn’t even your own. At least it didn’t yet feel like your own the way your drawer full of less suggestive garments did. What if he thought you looked ridiculous? What if he laughed or got turned off because your thighs were too big or the pudge of your stomach grossed him out? Worse yet, what if you failed to live up to the implications? What if he saw it and assumed you knew what you were doing, only to be woefully disappointed by your skills? Or lack thereof?
It was impossible to reconcile the two wolves fighting for dominance in your mind. On the one hand, it was wildly exciting: the thought of finally getting to be with him and touch him and have him touch you back. At the same time, though, you were overwhelmed at the prospect. What if it changed things between you? You’d always thought you wanted more than friendship with him, but what if in that pursuit you lost the person you treasured more than anything in the world?
And then of course there were the normal fears. 
After so much unfulfilling sex, you couldn’t help but be fearful your body would betray you as it always had. It was hard not to pin all your hopes on this and you didn’t want to add any more pressure to this night than you already felt. But even if you backed off that peak and failed to reach the summit, surely the ascent would feel just as nice as long as it was with him. 
Right?
This was what you tried to tell yourself as you turned one last time in front of your mirror. 
Literally everything about this night was making you uncomfortable and it hadn’t even begun yet. The lingerie that felt fine when you bought it was tight and itchy on your skin, and it felt glaringly obvious you were wearing it under your clothes—like a diaper or a straightjacket.
You’d shaved, even though it made you feel like a creepy bald Barbie, and even though you found the concept kind of disturbing. Whose brilliant idea was it anyway that to be sexy you had to look like a child between your legs? And you always wound up completely bare because you could never get it even and kept having to take more from each side until nothing was left.
Still, you did it. Because that was what everyone did, right? That’s what he would expect?
Shaking your head, trying to fling away all your thoughts, you busy yourself packing your small overnight bag. It was the same one you must have brought over to Eddie’s a hundred times over, but for the first time you found yourself doubting it. Would he think you were high maintenance for wanting your own toothbrush and a change of clothes? For bringing something comfortable to sleep in? Would he think you were a weirdo for not just sleeping naked? God, what if he saw it and figured you’d been sleeping with so many guys, you just kept it packed all the time?
Panic creeps up the back of your neck. It burns hot on your cheeks and makes your heart pound in your temples until you’re so dizzy you have to lean against the door with your head bent.
Breathe, you think. Breathe, breathe, breathe. 
Frustratingly slowly, the thrumming in your chest subsides. You managed to bring yourself down off the ledge and find your center—Eddie.
Eddie would make everything alright. 
He always did.
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Part Two
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m1ssunderstanding · 28 days
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2
Prettyyyyy
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Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 
John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 
And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 
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I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.
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John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 
Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 
He looks like an abandoned puppy. 
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What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?
“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 
John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .
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George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 
Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?
The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?
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Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 
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But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 
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I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 
On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 
“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?
Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 
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Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 
“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)
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Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?
Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.
If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.
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Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?
He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 
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I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 
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184 notes · View notes
pleasingforharry · 11 months
Text
Take the Hint, Boss
SUMMARY: Her boss really likes her. She’s not so sure about it. Maybe she wants him to stop, maybe she doesn’t. She wishes she knew. 
WORD COUNT: 3.2k
WARNINGS: None.
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-
help this idea just randomly popped in my head
-
ass-boss: Dinner with me tonight. Okay?
me: no
ass-boss: Yes.
me: youre my boss. dont be stupid
ass-boss: Don't be difficult, woman.
me: im going out
ass-boss: You don't go out.
me: ever since you put your number in my phone and text me to have dinner with you, i do
He typed up a response, but I didn’t look, stuffing my phone in my clutch. For the sake of both of us, I ignored it. He simply didn’t get it.
Stacey and Gia wouldn't stop texting me throughout the week. The only reason I went out with them instead of staying at the office to work—like I direly needed to do right now—was because they would've just dragged me by the ear themselves.
"Y/N, you work too damn much. It's hurtful, and quite exhausting to watch you burn yourself to the ground," Stacey said sincerely on the ride there. We took an Uber because, apparently, we were all getting shitface drunk tonight. Exciting. "I should have a word with your boss. He's the reason you're only getting like four hours of sleep."
"It isn't his fault, Stace. I have control over how much work I do. If I wanted to, I could easily split it with someone else."
Gia, on my other side, cut in. "Yeah, but you're a perfectionist and won't share."
"Sue me?" I laughed with exasperation. Gia rolled her eyes, her purple eyeshadow glossy from the neon lights shooting by us.
My hair was out, traveling down my back, as Stacey twirled a strand around her finger. "No more talks about work tonight. Okay, girls?" The question was directed to me, but Gia still answered with a loud cheer. The driver glanced at us through the rear-view mirror. I waved apologetically.
My phone pinged again. Fuck, Harry. What the hell? Doesn’t he have to work to do himself? He’s literally the CEO, he’s always busy.
Gia gave me a sideway glance, before smirking. Stacey caught on and laughed theatrically. "Go on, answer him." I huffed and took my phone out of my clutch.
ass-boss: Where are you going out tonight?
me: with friends
ass-boss: Wasn't my question, Y/N.
me: bar
ass-boss: Where?
me: stop.
ass-boss: Answer me.
My phone flipped on its back as I sighed.
"That was hot," Stacey whispered.
"What was?"
Gia spoke first. "It's like a front row view of an enemies to lovers."
"Of course, you would think that," I teased, poking her breast. She bit her lip at me. "It's so entertaining to watch my boss annoy me about my whereabouts when I've made it clear that I don't want to do anything with him."
"It's just dinner," she shrugged.
Stacey leaned forward so we could both see her. “Just make it known that nothing will happen.”
"Yeah, last time it was 'just dinner' because I wasn’t going to let something happen, we ended up having sex.” I cringed at my moment of weakness. “I don't want to mislead him into thinking it'll happen again." I looked down at my phone as it lit up from another text.
ass-boss: When you're ready to go home, you call me. I'll pick you up.
"He's so protective. My boss doesn’t give two shits about me. I hate you," Gia scoffed, flicking my temple.
"He just paranoid that I'll go home with another guy," I corrected her with an annoyed wave.
me: no. dont you have work to do?
ass-boss: I have a dinner to attend to. But my date is being stubborn.
All of a sudden, my phone was snatched away. "Hey!" Gia started texting Harry back.
me: its Y/N's bff. we're gonna out to have a bunch of fun and it would be lovely if you left her alone for the night. thanks babe!
She held the power button down to shut my phone off. "There," she said as she handed it back to me. "It's gonna be an amazing night, okay? No more boss or thoughts about work." I smiled warmly.
"Thank you, G." She leaned in to kiss my cheek, but then quickly wiped it away as her gloss attached.
-
We finally arrived at the club and stumbled out of the car. I had to yank my dress at the hem while also stuffing my breasts back into my push-up bra.
The outfit I wore wasn't picked by me. No, Stacey and Gia completely raided my closet, searching through every corner for the most scandalous dress. I didn’t even remember buying it. But then I remembered, they did.
My heels were high, making me the tallest out of us three. Both girls held an arm of mine as we walked inside. The bouncer nodded his head at us, and Gia cooed with a seductive wave.
"We didn't even get inside. How are you already flirting with guys?" I snorted. She only shrugged.
"It's in my blood." Stacey laughed loudly in agreement.
We managed to push our way to our first spot; the bar. It was in the center of the club, a wide circular counter that seated many. We found three vacant stools and literally hopped on top of them.
The bartender slid over to us with a friendly smile. "Hello, ladies. Welcome. What can I get you started with?" I intended to get a light drink in order to pace myself. Stacey and Gia wanted to get three day hangover drunk, but I had work to do early tomorrow.
Before I could even speak, a hand slapped over my mouth. Stacey placed a long order of drinks, and the bartender nodded and winked at me before stalking away. When Stacey removed her hand from me, I gave her a bored look.
"Are you serious?" I scoffed, pinching her arm. They both laughed and ignored my rhetorical question as they fell into a conversation. I rolled around in my stool to face the club, listening to both my friends and my daydreaming monologue.
I had so much work to catch up on when I got home. If I even got home today. It might be tomorrow. The thought caused my shoulders to tense.
Fuck. Maybe I do need a drink.
-
We've been at the club for at least three hours. Neither Stacey or Gia planned to sneak away with a guy as many approached them for a drink and dance. They promised to stay by my side. But I knew it was only because as soon as I was out of their sight, I'd run home.
Gia walked backwards, holding my hands while Stacey held my shoulders, and the two of them led me to the dance floor. "How are you feeling, babe?" Stacey tugged my shoulders down so she could reach my ear. Her movements were a little rougher than she intended as the drinks added some strength to her.
"Better," I responded.
"Not good enough. I want you to feel amazing and free!" She cheered as we found a spot big enough for all of us to move. We stood in a circle, facing each other, and joining in with everyone as they danced to the music. It was so loud that it pounded in my ears and my chest. My body swayed on its own.
I dragged my hands up my sides and to the air as my hips swung to the beat. Gia howled, her hands grabbing at me. "Yes, yes, and yes, hot stuff!"
Stacey was in her own world, twirling and rolling her body. I noticed she had caught the attention of a guy only a few feet away. She didn't see him as her eyes were fluttered closed. So, I smoothly grabbed her hand and danced with her until she was in front of me. I was in her original spot, blocking his view with my back.
"You need to stop being so attractive," I joked to Stacey. She glanced at me with her dimed blue eyes. They crinkled at the corners as she smiled innocently.
"Can't," She shrugged and went back to dancing.
I scanned the floor again, monitoring creepy eyes that Gia and Stacey were too drunkly unaware of. There were a lot. And for the amount of other women on the dance floor, we were able to pull eyes on us like magnets. It was starting to ruin the vibe.
"Hey, maybe we should go back to the bar," I suggested, wrapping my arms around the both of them. Gia groaned, and Stacey blatantly ignored me. "I'm thirsty, guys. Please."
"Okay, let's go," Gia said, holding onto Stacey as I led the way.
We were able to snag our original spots at the bar, and the bartender approached us. "More drinks or you need me to call you guys an Uber home?" He asked, scooping ice into a glass.
"Drinks!" Stacey yelled, sitting on the middle stool this time. Her arms went around Gia and I. "On me. Shots?" She turned her head to each of us. I shrugged and Gia nodded wildly. The bartender chuckled and walked away to make our drinks.
While we were waiting, Stacey and Gia made loud conversation. I chipped in a few times, but mostly listened. I wasn't tired, just drained.
My hand was engulfed with Stacey’s because she wasn't completely facing me, but still wanted to know I was there. Gia leaned an elbow on the counter when she asked me a question or for my opinion.
We received our drinks and clinked them together, before knocking it down our throats. I cringed at the sting. Stacey always ordered the most outrageous drinks. But they always had a good aftertaste, which made it okay.
Gia was in the middle of adjusting her strapless dress around her breast while Stacey spoke.
"I think their bagels could be better," she was saying. "And that one blue haired girl always puts too much butter."
Gia snapped her finger, before pointing at Stacey. "Oh my god, I know who you're talking about! She—" Her voice trailed off as her eyes wandered behind me.
"What?" Both Stacey and I asked out loud. Gia didn’t answer, but I immediately figured out who she was looking at.
A solid chest pressed against my back. And a blazered arm, fingers encircled in rings, slapped down on the counter by my side. I froze in my spot. Both Stacey and Gia stared dumbfounded at him, jaws agape.
"Found you," a harsh voice, deep with frustration, darkly growled in my ear. His other hand grasped my shoulder and massaged the spot. "Hello, ladies," He said to my friends. Stacey flicked her eyes to me, then back at him. Gia only rolled them and grabbed her drink to slurp it down.
I considered turning around and fuming at him for showing up unannounced. To yell at him because he couldn’t take a hint. But I was at a bar with my best friends rather than at the office working late. They brought me here to let loose and forget about all the papers, the emails, and my hardheaded, but fucking tempting boss.
So, I ignored him.
"Your story, Gia. You weren't finished," I said with a smile, motioning to her. She looked at me with confusion. I widened my eyes and clenched my teeth. She got the message. Stacey did too as she continued our previous conversation.
"So, that blue haired girl. I should go back there and make my own food rather than trust her to do it right," She complained. Gia laughed, and so did I, but it was obvious that it was forced.
He stayed in his spot. His hand on my shoulder trailed down my arm, then to my hip. Fuck. I snatched up my half-filled drink and shot it down. That time, I invited the burn.
"Have you tried their BLT’s? Literal cardboard,” Gia said.
“I mean, how are they still in business?”
I finally spoke. “I think because of me. I actually enjoy their homemade lemonade.” He chuckled, his vibration running up my back. I felt a squeeze to my hip, but I continued to ignore it. Gia went on. My head couldn’t completely focus on what she was saying, though.
The bartender returned. He leaned on the counter. “What are we having next, ladies?” He glanced at Harry for a quick second then at me in question. I just shrugged.
“Just another round of the same,” Stacey told him. “Thanks.” She flashed a charming smile. 
Harry surprisingly wrapped his arm across my collarbones to pull me flush against him. His head was next to mine as he spoke to the bartender. His faint stubble scratched at my eyebrow.
“All the drinks they’ve had and will have, put it on this,” He said, nonchalantly. He flicked out a card and handed it to the bartender. My eyes widened at Stacey and Gia, who gave me the exact reaction back.
“Oh, this is gold,” Stacey sing-songed over the music. “Thanks, Styles.” I assumed he nodded with that blank, dark look he gives everyone. 
Gia smirked at me. “Thanks, H.” I rolled my eyes, resting my head against his shoulder. It was there, so might as well use it. He sighed under his breath and held me tighter.
“I kind of want to dance again,” Stacey groaned, raising her hands up to stretch. “Girls?” She looked at both of us. Just then, our drinks arrived. 
“Yes and yes,” Gia cheered, taking her glass and bringing it closer to us. I took mine and so did Stacey. The bartender apparently made one for Harry too as there was a fourth. He swiftly took it. “To Y/N’s fun night out!” Gia yelled. Stacey laughed and clinked her glass with Gia’s. They both turned to me.
“Thanks, guys.” We smacked our glasses together. Harry had already finished his and left the empty shot on the table.
I drank mine and shivered. Goosebumps trickled up my arms—Harry noticed. “Need my blazer?” He asked, his lips on my ear. Literally. 
Nice try. With a sigh, I ignored his question. He huffed angrily because of it, but still kissed my temple, his lips cold, before straightening up. His arms continued to hold me against him. I was instantly warmed up.
I did my best not to react and give him that satisfaction. I could tell he was getting angsty with me ignoring him. He yearned for attention.
“Okay, we dance!” Stacey grabbed mine and Gia’s hand. “Harry, stay here.” I leapt off my stool, and for the first time, glanced back at him. 
He looked good. I abashedly examined his outfit. It seemed as if he came searching for me right after work. Black blazer, black dress shirt underneath. Tight pants that stretched his long legs. His hair perfectly set, like each strand was placed in a direct spot.
He looked down at me with those dashing green eyes. His face was hard. He was mad at me—who cares—but still had a soft touch that only I could get from him. 
“You can go. You found me, I’m fine,” I told him with my free hand on my hip. Harry only blinked, his face staying unbothered. “What?”
Gia groaned, “Let’s go, Y/N. He’s fine.” Stacey dragged us both away. My eyes stuck on Harry’s, watching him settle on the stool I was on and leaning his elbows back on the counter. His head fell to the side, still hawk eyeing me.
I turned away and followed my friends. We were back in our circle, holding each other—mostly out of protection. Stacey was behind me and had her chin on my shoulder with our hands connected. We raised them up and laughed as I grinded back on her. 
“If your hot boss wasn’t turned on by this, he’d probably march right over and throw me across the floor by my hair,” Stacey said in my ear. Gia was next to her, able to hear, and nodded in agreement.
“I’m trying to hide you from his view, but he still finds away,” Gia complained. “Want us to move farther into the crowd?” I shook my head and continued to dance. 
“Fuck him.”
Gia and Stacey gasped. “There she is!”
Our dancing only lasted another few minutes, before my feet started to throb. Stacey and Gia were spinning each other around as I watched. I couldn’t keep up, so I pushed them together.
“I’m gonna go sit down,” I told them. 
“With Harry?” Gia asked, glancing over my shoulder at him. I shrugged.
“Not with him. He just happens to be over there.” They laughed. “Be prepared to call an Uber if I come back with bloody knuckles.”
“Hot men bring that out of us,” Stacey said. “Completely normal.”
I laughed. “Have fun, ladies.” They wiggled their fingers at me seductively, before grabbing at each other to dance again.
I stumbled as I walked away. My eyes were heavy, but I still caught Harry watching me. He looked more alert now that I was approaching him. He stood up from the stool and met me halfway.
When he was in reach, I wrapped my arms around his neck and fell into him. “Whoa, love. You okay?” I groaned against his chest.
“My feet are killing me,” I whined. “Carry me?” Oh yeah, I was drunk. Harry chuckled, staring down at me amusedly.
“Not in that tiny dress I will. Can’t let all these creeps see what’s mine,” He said, winking at me. I scoffed and dropped my arms from him.
“You ruined it.”
“I’m not wrong.”
“You’re completely wrong that I kind of feel bad.” I brushed past him on my way to the stool. “Sit.” I patted the seat. He followed my orders and did so. I climbed on top of him, sitting on one of his thighs. Both of his hands held my waist, pulling me closer.
He softly stuffed his nose into my neck. “We should’ve went to dinner together,” He whispered.
“Hmmm... what will the building think when I tell them that big, meanie Mr. Styles is obsessing over dinner with some woman?”
“You’re not just some woman,” He said. “And go on and tell them. I’d like someone to say something to me about it.” I smirked at him.
“That was kind of hot.” He gazed at me, longingly, before smiling. “I have so much work to do. I would’ve been stuck in the office if G and Stace didn’t drag me out. Don’t take my rejection so personally.” I patted his hard chest.
Harry sighed and kissed my jaw. “This isn’t the first rejection, though. You’re deliberately avoiding spending time with me.” I finally looked away with a blush. “Is it because we went too fast for you?” 
I thought back to that night. The lovely dinner, supposedly as friends, then the drinks at his house. I promised myself to make sure it didn’t go farther than that. His eyes, his lips, his laugh, his smirk, his cock bulging against the pants he wore. It was enough for me to climb on him like a koala and smash my lips onto his.
I’ve been trying to be distant towards him since then. Harry, on the other hand, was on my ass more than ever. At work, through text while I worked, during my lunch break, during his. 
“I’m leading you on, Mr. Styles,” I whispered. His hands grasped my neck. 
“Look at me, baby.” I don’t. So, he did it for me by nudging my jaw. We met eyes. “Do you want this?”
“It’s not right.”
“Why not?”
I had no excuse. I honestly didn’t know why my head was so convinced that we shouldn’t be together when every other aspect of my body wanted him. So fucking bad. It reacted on its own when he was near. Like now. My fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, pushing his lips on my jaw. He gladly kissed a trail.
“Y/N?”
I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Harry squeezed me closer to him.
“Another night. But I want to figure us out.” My teeth sunk into my bottom lip. Harry tugged it out just as fast. “Say it. I’m listening, baby.”
“Nope.” I shook my head. 
“You’re stubborn.”
“I know you like it.”
He smirked widely. “I love it.” He kissed my cheek. “But are you okay with this? Me constantly asking?” I shrugged.
“I think so.”
“You think so?”
I nodded. “You get everything you want and everyone bows down to your authority. I don’t, and I’m the only one who can get away with it. I like it.” Harry tilted his head to the side as he took in my words. “You make time just for me, and I can have your undivided attention whenever. I don’t want to abuse this so-called ‘power’ but I like when you want me. No one ever wanted me like this.”
He hummed and looked forward. I watched him. “You’re right. I like your power over me too.” I giggled and held him tighter.
“Is this weird?” I asked to no one in particular. Harry still shook his head. “Keep asking me to dinner, okay?” His eyes lit up.
“Will you agree to go?”
We looked at each other. I slowly smiled. Wickedly.
“Nah.”
We both laughed. Then we kissed. For the rest of the night. 
And then had some dinner.
-
idk just a random idea. had no ending in mind.
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goldenfigtree · 6 months
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Operation: Pamper Condor One
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Summary: It’s your one year anniversary and you decide to make it your mission to give Leon the treatment he deserves.
Pairing: Leon Kennedy (any Leon of your choice tbh) x Fem!Reader
Warning: toothrotting fluff
Note: yeah I know, I know it’s spooky season but I’m a lover for the aesthetic of Valentine’s Day and thought it’d make this Drabble even more romantic. Sue me! Either way I hope you enjoy! This one is one of my longer ones.
February 14th was a day you despised with every fiber of your being. The hearts, roses, and the sickly shades of red and pink never swooned you. Any mention of the holiday earned a gag and an eye roll from you in return. Mainly because it reminded you how single you were, but you never said that aloud. Instead you went with the more indirect reasonings when questioned,
“Valentine’s day is just another unnecessary commercial exploitation” was your favorite one to use. But deep down, you envied those who got to celebrate having a significant other, wishing you could join in all of the fun. That is, until Leon Kennedy came along. Being the cliche and cheesy guy that he is deep down, he decided it’d be romantic to ask you to be his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day at your doorstep with an oversized bouquet of roses. One year later and your perception of this romantic holiday had completely been redefined. That’s what love does to you, you guess.
And now here you were, a week before Valentine’s day secretly planning the most romantic evening you have ever planned in your life. To be fair, it was the first romantic evening you ever planned, making it the most romantic thus far. It being the first romantic date you had planned made you all the more excited and anxious to make sure everything was absolutely perfect. Not one candle or balloon was out of place. Despite all the chatter from your friends, saying that it should be the boyfriend planning these sort of dates on this holiday, you didn’t care how you may look putting this together. More important matters were at hand, specifically Leon not really being the same since his last mission.
You remembered clearly how exhausted he looked when you picked him up from the airport, how he practically fell into your arms, how permanent his frown has been since then. You hated seeing him like that. You wish you could take his pain and exhaustion away, but you couldn’t, and that you hated more. So, in hopes to lift his spirits, you thought of Valentine’s day being the perfect opportunity to give him the treatment he deserves, especially on a day that the both of you held dear to your hearts. Screw the tradition, the expectations, all you cared about was getting your Leon back. The Leon who was serious to some but especially giddy and happy with you. The Leon who always had a twinkle in his eye when explaining something he was passionate about. You were getting him back if it was the last thing you did.
The week flew out the window with the fiercely cold winds of winter, and the time had finally come to execute Operation: Pamper Condor One. Wearing a lipstick red chain knit sweater and a pair of jeans, you pull your hair up into a bun at the top of your head and wrap it with a white scrunchy with tiny hearts. Looking in the mirror you didn’t expect to come to this point in your life. You didn’t think you’d ever enjoy today like this, much less with someone who made life worth perceiving at a different, more positive angle. But, you weren’t complaining, you liked this new you and you sincerely hoped that you could bring the old Leon back tonight.
Looking around your apartment with brows furrowed, you murmured your checklist to yourself to ensure everything was in place. It was safe to say that you went all out with this one. Heart shaped pillows replaced your usual everyday pillows on the couch, candles were lit everywhere in the house to the point where it was almost a safety hazard, and most importantly, rose petals scattered on the sheets of your bed. Nibbling on your thumbnail, your mind spirals in a panic as you wait for him to arrive.
Is this too much? Will he hate it?
You thought to yourself looking around the apartment from your couch, your legs crossed and your one heart patterned sock covered foot bouncing anxiously. So deep in thought, you jump at the sound of Leon’s familiar knock, one he came up with so you knew it was him at your door. Standing up so fast, you begin to almost see stars as you clumsily make your way to your front door and swing it open.
“Hey beautiful” Leon greets, his voice soft, sentimental, yet so very exhausted. With an oversized bouquet of your favorite type of flower in his arms, he has to tilt his head to the side to look at you.
“Awe you shouldn’t have!” you gush happily as you tug his arms toward you to lead him inside.
“You didn’t think I’d forget our one year did you?” He grunts as he places the bouquet down on your kitchen counter.
“Never” You reply with a giggle as you watched him lean back to stretch his back,
“Jesus, those are heavy” He groans to himself, “you also have something coming in later tonight”
You couldn’t help but snicker at his obliviousness towards his surroundings, as he continued to speak,
“I also got us a reservation at your favorite restaurant, we’re supposed to be there in… wait what’s all this?” he asks softly, turning around and taking notice of the romantic ambience of your apartment.
“I’d cancel that reservation if I were you, because we’re not going” you say leaning against the kitchen counter, crossing your arms,
“We aren’t?” He asks cautiously, turning back to you. You smile smugly and shake your head,
“Nope, tonight we’re going to be focusing on you” turning him to face you and wrapping your arms around his neck, you place a soft peck on his lips as his eyes turn up in thought,
“Me?” He murmurs against your lips, earning an agreeing hum from you in return,
“Go sit at the dining table, I’ll be there in a minute okay?” still a bit unsure of how this evening was going to turn out, he eventually nods and makes his way to your circle dining table. Noticing a wrapped box leaning against his chair, wondering what it could be.
Not long after, you walk out with a pizza box in your hand, Leon’s eyes immediately light up noticing the emblem on the top lid,
“Is that–”
“Your favorite? Of course” you triumphantly respond, placing the box on the table and opening the lid. The savory aroma of melted cheese and pepperoni filled the air which filled Leon’s eyes with excitement. Something you hadn’t seen in a while, seeing it now made your heart soar. So far, your plan was going swimmingly. Serving him a slice, you place a kiss on his forehead and sit across from him. While taking a bite of his pizza, he looks around at all your hard work and attention to detail in awe,
“Babe, you did all of this…for me?” You look up from your plate and reach out to take his hand with a loving smile,
“Well, you’re always taking care of me, I thought maybe I could do it for a change” You explain, a bashful grin growing on your lips as you squeeze his hand. His eyebrows furrow as his mouth falls slightly, something told him it was because of how he’d been acting since he came home. Guilt washed over him, he thought he had hid it so well. But this extravagant gesture showed him the opposite of what he thought was reality. You had often asked him what happened and if he was feeling okay and in return, he just shrugged it off. Telling you not to worry about him, that he could take care of himself. Little did he know how much that isolated the both of you back then. But he saw it now,
“Baby, I’m sorry for being so off lately and shutting you out. I thought I was protecting you but I think I did the opposite” your eyes softened at his words as you stood from your chair. Kneeling down you take him in your arms and kiss his forehead,
“I know” your breath brushed against his skin, causing his shoulders to drop slightly, “You were trying to tough it out right?”
With a soft exhale through his nose, he nods his head slightly, “You know you don’t have to carry this weight on your own right? That’s what I’m here for” you continue brushing some his hair away from his face,
“I guess, I don’t exactly know how to do that” resting your forehead against his own, you rest your hands behind his neck, the pads of your fingers making his eyes flutter slightly in bliss,
“Don’t worry, I’ll make it easier for you, starting tonight”
A small smile grows on his face, your soft voice always being music to his ears, and knowing you cared this much, to do all this for him. Since you two had intertwined your lives, you continued to show him what he had been missing. What he yearned without knowing. Nodding his head, he leans in to press his lips to yours. His hands gently lifted you closer to him and before you knew it, you were sitting on his lap, legs dangling over his right thigh as your lips failed to pull away. Every kiss rebukes all anxieties and fears from both of your minds. After one last peck, his lashes flutter down as he notices the wrapped present against his chair again. You notice and with a chuckle you reach down and place it on the table,
“Happy One Year my love” you coo nuzzling your head against the side of his. You wished you could take a photo of the look on his face as he eyed the carefully wrapped box. He looked like a little boy on Christmas Day,
“go on, open it” you urge. With a quiet laugh he makes the first tear of the paper and then another tear. With your legs swinging, you watch him open the box and pull out a T-Shirt and read the words. His smile widens as he reads it and out comes a laugh you missed so dearly, like a dream that flees from you the moment you awake.
“My Girlfriend Is Hotter Than You” he reads it aloud and places a smooch on your cheek, “that she is, that she is”
“That’s not all” you say with a smirk, earning an eyebrow raise from him,
“Is there something else in the box?”
“Nope” your hands leave his neck and reach the hem of your sweater, beginning to lift it from your body. A motion, you noticed, made Leon’s cheeks redden. You lift it over your head and drop it to the floor to reveal your matching t-shirt,
“My Boyfriend Is Hotter Than You” in bold black letters matching him. He practically gasps and tightens his arms around you peppering kisses along your neck, making you giggle from his excitement,
“And you said you hated these type of shirts” he points out smugly,
“What can I say? You’re a bad influence on me” you retort back, standing up from his lap and extending your hand,
“C’mon the night isn’t over” Leon’s ears redden from your words, as he takes your hand and lets you lead him into the bedroom. Sitting him on the bed, you grab his shirt and lift it from the bottom, with a shy yet excited twinkle in his eyes, he lets you. Placing it neatly on your dresser, you sit behind him on the bed,
“What are you doing?” Leon asks with a look of intrigue on his face,
“Giving you a massage, duh” you tease,
“Oh, I thought we were gonna…” he clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish chuckle, “right” he adds, sounding a tad disappointed. Pressing a kiss on the back of his neck, sending shivers down the man’s spine, you ruffle his hair and whisper in his ear,
“Maybe later” you almost saw his ears perk up from your words as your hands stroked along the scars littering his back. You remembered the first time you saw those scars. Wanting to kiss every single one of them away, knowing how much of a burden they casted on your lovely boyfriend. Resting your hands on his shoulders, your thumbs knead the area beneath, feeling the pent up tension,
“Does this hurt?” You ask with uncertainty,
“No, feels good” he murmurs, his eyes gently closed. With a sigh of relief you begin to rub down and knead every area of his back. Sighs and grunts escape his lips as he feels his body tense and relax from your touch. You smiled softly, glad to see him receiving the attention and care he deserved. You couldn’t imagine how tense he must have felt using his body so brutally to survive and play hero. You could feel the exhaustion, pain, and stress leave with every manipulation of muscle, “I love you” he murmurs again, his eyes half lidded and a dreamy smile on his lips.
“I love you, too” you softly respond, hugging him from behind, “how do you feel now?”
“Amazing” he mutters under his breath, “Thank you”
You can’t help but gush at his words, always so sweet, so polite. Getting up from the bed you run to the bathroom and take one of your clay masks and place it on your dresser,
“You’re really spoiling me here” he comments bashfully as you also come back with the leftover pizza in the pizza box, his gift and turn on the tv.
You chuckle and begin opening the clay mask and walk over to him. He widens his eyes and holds his hands up, “Wait, lemme do something first” he says, causing you to lift your brows curiously. Grabbing the t-shirt you gifted him, he slips it on and admires the letters spreading across his chest, “Okay now you can continue”
“So you like the shirt huh?” You tease smearing the teal paste onto his forehead,
“I thought I made it obvious” he retorts back sassily, closing his eyes. You roll your eyes and continue smearing the mask on his face,
“There all done, now just relax” you reassure, pressing him farther onto the bed,
“Wait, you’re not wearing a mask” he points out taking the paste from you, “c’mere”
“Leon, this is about you remember” you protest,
“Last I checked, it’s our one year anniversary, not mine. Now come here, I’m not doing this alone” he adds the last part sternly, making you sigh in defeat and scoot over to him so he can apply the paste onto your face. You can’t help but smile as you watch him carefully apply the paste on your face as neatly as possible. After he finishes, he kisses your lips earning a sound in protest,
“Babe, you’re going to make the mask crack” you say sheepishly,
“Tuff” he remarks, hovering his body over yours to kiss you more deeply.
The doorbell rings making Leon pull away, his eyes filled with excitement,
“It’s here” he whispers to himself, hopping off the bed and making his way to the door. Coming back he holds a gigantic teddy bear, the exact one you were eyeing while the two of you were running errands together,
“You didn’t!” You gasp,
“I did” effortlessly, lifting the teddy bear that was half the size of him, he places it next to you, “like it?”
“I love it! Thank you” you gush hugging the bear tightly.
“Alright alright, I’m right here you don’t need to cuddle it now” he adds, a tinge of jealousy in his tone, pushing the bear aside and collapsing onto you earning an,
“Oof” from you as you wrapped your arms around him,
“I think I’m ready to talk about it all now” he says as he lays his head against your chest, looking up at you with puppy eyes. You feel all your worries of this plan being a disaster fall away from his words,
“Well go on, I’m listening” with a long, tired sigh he begins to explain everything. The horrors, the betrayals, the losses he endured to make it home. You kept quiet and let him talk about it. Your hands massaging his scalp to comfort him. Once he was done, he lifted himself up from you to look into your eyes,
“I really am sorry for shutting you out. I was just.. afraid of burdening you”
“What you go through, I want to go through it with you. I wish you understood that, that’s what I mean when I say I love you”
“I understand that now.” He begins to say, “we’re a team right?”
“Exactly, you’re so smart” your compliment causes him to blush and smile,
“What was it you said about doing something later?” He says endearingly,
“I said maybe”
“Is it more of a yes than a no kind of maybe or…” he responds suggestively, pressing himself against you making you blush slightly, “Because I think I owe you something in return for all of this, princess”
“If it frees your conscience, sure” wrapping your arms around his neck you lean forward and share a kiss with your lover. Feeling his smile curve against your own, it was safe to say Operation: Pamper Condor One was a success.
299 notes · View notes
ohisms · 1 year
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↪     𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑳𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑾𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  5  of  syfy’s  “ warehouse 13 ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . )
nothing to worry about on this end .
keep me posted .
i’ve got another idea .
wait ,  wait ,  wait . . .
i’m not a total idiot .
look ,  [ name ] ,  that’s not what matters right now .
drive .  okay ?  just . . . drive fast .
of all the illegal things i’ve done ,  this is probably the least illegal .
we are not talking about that !
are you kidding me ?!
i’m gonna need another pair of hands .
i’ve got a plan i’m absolutely certain will work .
not cool !  not cool !
oh my god ,  what a great idea ,  [ name ] !  wish i’d thought of that !
i’ll explain later .
[ name ] , what just happened ?
i want him dead .
i just think we should make an informed decision .
heartbreaking ,  isn’t it ?  when someone you loved and thought you knew turns out to be someone else ?
the question is ;  are you with me ,  or are you against me ?
hey !  what’d you do that for ?
there goes our element of surprise .
you have no idea what you’re giving up .
so ,  sue me .  i didn’t want you to die .
stop staring at me !
this way i can keep an eye on you .
patience ,  and all will be revealed .
follow my instructions for a change .
are you busy tonight ?
i will cut you .
now if you’ll excuse me , i have to get ready .
do you want to tell me the truth , this time ?
i don’t need you to protect me .
should i ignore the fact that that sounds insane ?
you’re lying , it makes no sense .
i haven’t hurt anyone .
there’s no way i’m leaving you like this .
you have been lying to me .
i haven’t forgotten about  [ name ] .
a little bit dramatic ,  don’t you think ?
okay ,  your life is worse .  congrats .
there’s no need to close that door forever .
can we stop talking about this and just get back to work ?
how about we just start with this ?
hopefully you’ll understand why i did what i did .
i told you i’d be back .
despite everything [ name ] told you ,  you’re here anyways .
life is shorter than you ever think .
i think a little danger is worth it ,  don’t you ?
please note that i didn’t say anything about how dangerous that would be .
you take one hand ,  i’ll take the other ?
what’s so important ?
i’m not blaming you ,  i just wanna know what happened .
i don’t understand .  where am i ?
listen ,  there was -   there was a car accident .
no way ,  come on .  i don’t believe you .
we’re gonna talk everything through from the very beginning .
i have the feeling this is gonna take awhile .
don’t worry about it .  i’ll take care of  [ name ] .
i didn’t have very much when i came here ,  so i guess i’m kind of trying to make up for that .
the internet’s still around ?
i gotta say ,  i’m really hating this .  i just ,  nothing feels real .
i’m just gonna wake up and be me again .
this cannot be my life !
please stop saying it’s gonna be alright because it’s not !
i was in a mental institution .
not to outdo you ,  but crazy girl carries a lot more stigma .
my strongest memories of you have to do with that guitar .
oh ,  boo - hoo ,  what .  is .  the .  plan ?
did you not hear me say very ,  very carefully ?!
this place is about as secure as a kiosk at the mall .
do not snap at me ,  okay ?
do you have any enemies ?  anyone who might want to hurt you ?
am i doing all these things with my mind ?!
i haven’t cursed anyone in years .
weren’t you nervous to play in front of people ?
let’s just say i’m addicted to more than just coffee .
would you play for me ?
since you missed the concert ,  i thought we could have one of our own .
my keen sense of perception is giving me the impression that you are upset .
don’t partonize me ,  [ name ] .
look ,  why don’t we just quietly work together ?
it was an accident ,  i didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt .
i didn’t know it was gonna be dangerous .
no one’s gonna die !  okay ?  we’re gonna fix this .
have you seen him ?  i mean ,  really looked at him ?
when you really love someone ,  you want them to be happy .  even if it isn’t with you .
talking down to me does not help !
i’m not talking down to you ,  i’m just talking you DOWN  ...  there’s a difference .
it’s this place ,  it’s a thousand things !
you SHOT me ?!
with clear eyes  ...  and a full heart ,  you can’t lose .
will you tell me everything that happened while i was sleeping ?
i’m so sorry ,  i know i should’ve told you sooner .
i remember ,  now .  i remember everything .
i’m not gonna let you go back to that .
you’ve tried everything ,  haven’t you ?
if i only get one day ,  i am so ,  so glad i got this one .
i’m counting on you to fix all of this .
i’ll find a way .  i promise .
what answer will make you stop asking ?
relax ,  i’m not here for you .
that’s why you’re yelling like your hair’s on fire ?
i hate being friends with you .
i want to punch things .
i’m on the verge of a major breakthrough !
fine ,  i’ll go .  this better be snappy .
i called the police ,  they said i had to wait 24 hours .
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munsonownsmyass · 1 year
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Pain shared is pain lessened
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Matt Murdock x reader
Summary: In a world where you share the injuries with your soulmate, it's not easy being you. With a reckless soulmate that seems to have no regard for his own safety, you have more bruises and scars than you can count.
Warnings: Mentions of injuries: bruises, blood, scars and wounds. Mild angst, a little mild hate. One kiss. But we end on a fluffy note. You know me 😅
Notes: Okay, this one is unbeta'ed and probably full of errors. I just had to yeet this into the tumblr-verse.
This is a request from the lovely @mindidjarin ❤️
Words: 2.5K
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You’re grateful you’re with your friends when it happens. The pain is there instantly, so overwhelming that you start to feel lightheaded. Another wave of pain washes over you and thankfully Jessie catches you when your legs give in, sitting you down at the nearest table. For what feels like an hour, you can’t do anything but cry, hoping the pain will subside.
Your friends get it, they’ve been there too, but none of them have gone through as much pain as you have. It seems like your soulmate are reckless, not even caring if he gets hurt. You just wish you weren’t along for the ride.
“What the hell is wrong with this guy?” Jessie tries, not even knowing what to say. And what is there to say? Ever since you were a kid, you’ve felt every ounce of pain your soulmate has gone through, gotten every injury. Your only comfort is that your wounds are lesser than his, cause if you’d have to go through this life with all this pain AND blind? You would have lost it ages ago.
You google. You always try to google. ‘Man getting stabbed’. ‘Man losing a fight’. ‘Man being an utter asshole for putting his soulmate through shit’. Okay, maybe not the last one, but you are mad. Mad at him for not even caring, mad at yourself because you care. Cause the tears you shed every time aren’t just for you. They are for him too.
Why must he go through such hardship, such sorrow? What caused him to care so little about himself? Is he a hero? Is he a bad guy? In times like this, with Avengers and aliens, you wonder if he is somehow caught in the middle of that. Surely no normal person would have so many injuries. Unless he’s just a common criminal? Underground fighter?
Okay, you have to stop. You always do this. Sit for hours wondering. Your friends tell you to let it go, but it’s easy for them to say. They’ve all met their soulmates, some of them married for years. Jessie, the newest to leave the singleton island, still has a fresh pink scar on her forehead from when she tripped three weeks ago, practically falling over the guy who just hit his head, the same scar adorning his forehead. If only it was that easy.
“Are you okay?” Carmen asks carefully, handing you something to drink.
“No, I’m not okay. I haven’t even met my soulmate, and I already want to kill him.” You bite back, downing half of the beer in one go.
“At this rate, he’s probably gonna get himself killed before you meet.” Jessie mumbles to herself. You just shoot her a killer look, not even finding it remotely funny. “What?! You gotta admit it looks like this guy has a death wish.”
“Oh, I know! I got several scars proving that.”
“You should sue him.” Carmen, bless her heart, wasn’t the smartest girl, but she always tried her best. Still, you can’t help but throw your hands up in defeat as you continue to yell.
“Yes, great idea! Just gonna walk up to a lawyer and sue my soulmates ass for pain and suffering. That bodes for a happily ever after.”
“You know-” Jessie interrupts, caressing your arm softly, “-I have a friend. Karen. She works at a law office. Maybe they have some way of doing something? Maybe they could-”
“Thanks, but no. There’s no way they could find him and even if they did, I’m not gonna sue him. I just hope I never met him, cause I’m gonna kick his ass.”
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A week later, the wounds had healed nicely, and the bruises faded, but the anger is still there. No, anger is the wrong word. You don’t hate him…. that much. You just wish you could have met him years ago, maybe spared the both of you some pain and suffering. Maybe his life would have been different if you had been there.
“We’re here.” Jessie stops in front of a door, and you sigh when you see the sign next to the door. Nelson and Murdock. Lawyers. Of course. You move to protest, but before you can say anything, she stops you. “We’re not here to sue, don’t worry. Our talk just made me realize it’s been a long time since I saw Karen, so I’ve invited her to lunch.”
When you enter the office, you’re met by a man handing a beautiful blonde some papers. That must be Karen. The man, who introduces himself as Foggy, disappears into his office with a smile. The two of you walk over to Karen, but Jessie quickly excuses herself, wanting to go to the bathroom before you all head out. Karen just gives you a bright smile, as she fixes some of the papers.
“You must be y/n. Jessie’s talked so much about you. Especially about that soulmate of yours.”
Of course, she had. You’re not even surprised, your many cuts and bruises always the subject for a good conversation.
“Yeah, he likes to fight, I guess. Always making sure I got a new bruise.” You laugh in defeat, knowing how you must look to other people. “People might start to think I’m being abused soon or something.”
“Have you tried looking for him?” She asks, putting away the rest of her paperwork as she looks to you with a curious smile.
“Well, it’s not that easy. New York is a big place.” You scoff, averting her gaze. Honestly, you’re not even sure where to start.
“Sure, it is. All you have to do is look for a guy who’s always-” Karen stops, looking at a point behind you, before her eyes dart back to yours. “-beaten up...” She almost looks like she’s seen a ghost. Just as she opens her mouth to speak, Jessie returns.
“So, by Karen’s horrified expression, I guess you’ve talked about Mr. Daredevil?”
“Daredevil?” You snort, “Is that your new nickname for him?”
“Well, he’s reckless, lives dangerously and keeps getting beat up, leaving you bruised.” Jessie crosses her arms, clearly not his biggest fan. You’ve always said you’d kick your soulmates ass when you meet him, but you’re starting to think Jessie might get to him first.
“Easy there, tiger. We can’t both gang up on a blind man.” You and Jessie giggle, but Karen doesn’t, her face white as she just stares at you. From the open office door, Foggy appears with an expression equal to Karen’s.
“Okay, what’s with the faces?” You ask confused, but before anyone can answer, the door opens and in walks what you assume to be the other half of Nelson and Murdock.
“I’m sorry I’m late. I went by the police station to-” Matt huff out, but stops as soon as he turns to face you all. “I didn’t know we had company. Matt Murdock.” He walks forward, extending his hand. As you take it, you notice the red glasses and the cane, So… A blind lawyer. That’s a first.
“How did you know?” Jessie asks softly, leaving the ‘since you’re blind’ part unspoken. Matt just smiles, probably used to questions like that all the time.
“I have a few tricks up my sleeve.” He just smirks, before gesturing towards his office. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Oh, Matt. Before you go-” Karen stops him with a grin. Foggy walks over to stop her, but she just brushes him off. ”One of the young ladies here want to sue her soulmate.”
Embarrassed, you take a step forward. “No, I don’t. They are just being dumb.” You push Jessie and Karen softly towards the door, just wanting to get away.
“What did he do?” Matt asks, tilting his head to the side with a questioning smile. If you weren’t so embarrassed by the whole thing, you definitely would have stayed, because he certainly was cute. Really cute.
“Nothing.” You lie, still making your way to the door, but Jessie just grin, turning towards the hot lawyer. “He’s reckless. So if you hear about a beaten up blind guy, let us know cause we wanna beat his ass”
You shoot Matt and Foggy an apologetic look, before pushing Jessie and Karen out the door. They just chuckle, not even apologizing for making you embarrassed. “I hate you guys.” You huff out, before walking out of the building.
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Two months goes by and to your surprise, it’s without a single injury. You should celebrate, be happy over the missing bruises or cuts, but instead you worry. What happened to him? Was the last injury to much for him? Was Jessie right and maybe he’s…
You feel stupid, spending years complaining over the scars and bruises and now… You actually miss them. As painful and annoying as it was, it was a reminder that he was out there. That someday, somehow, you’d meet your soulmate.
Looking out over the neighborhood from your small window, you let your book fall, the fingers of your free hand idly tracing one of the scars on your chest. You often do that, touch the scars. It gives you a weird sense of serenity, knowing that despite all the pain, he is out there. Well, you hope he still is.
Truth be told, now that you think about it, you wouldn’t kick his ass if you met him. You just want him here, want to kiss away his pain or help him bear the burden of what troubles him. You’ve never been a believer, but ever since the injuries stopped, you’ve been praying he’s okay.
You’re jerked out of your strain of thoughts by a soft knock on your door. Looking at the clock on your phone, you wonder who it could be at this hour. You had no plans and weren’t expecting anyone. Putting the book away, you make your way over to the door. When you open, you see the cute lawyer Karen works for. But what he’s doing here, you really have no idea. “Uhm. Matt, right? You work with Karen?”
“Yes, I do. I’m surprised you remember me.” He smiles softly.
‘I remember because you’re hot’ you think but reason it’s better to keep that information to yourself. Still, you feel your cheeks flush red at the thought. But you brush it off. You shouldn’t be thinking like this.
“So, uhm… Why are you here?” You inquire, not even sure what you could help a guy like him with.
Matt sighs, suddenly looking uncomfortable. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, gripping his cane tightly. He looks to you, your image reflected in his red glasses. You wonder what his eyes might look like. Okay, this isn’t the time. Mentally scolding yourself, you open the door a little wider.
“Are you okay? Do you wanna come in?”
“I-“ he begins, but then stops. Clearly frustrated, he takes off the glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I… I think I’m your soulmate.”
For a moment, it’s like time stands still. It’s like all air leaves the room and everything turns blurry. Did… Did he just say what you think he said? You don’t even know how to feel. Overjoyed? He’s finally here, after all this time and your search would be over. But instead you feel confused and angry, filled with so many questions, like why the hell would a blind lawyer get beaten up so much? Why did he let himself get beat up? How long have he known?
“When did you… How… Why…” You try, but every question dies before they’re spoken. Where do you even begin?
“I know you must have so many question, I get that and I-”
“When did you know?” You ask, looking into his eyes. His beautiful hazel eyes. Fuck, you should focus.
“That day when you visited Karen. How many blind guys do you know who fights so much?” He shrugs, laughing softly. But you don’t laugh. You don’t even find it remotely funny.
“You knew for two months and didn’t tell me?!” You yell, punching his shoulder hard, but instantly flinch when your shoulder hurts. Fuck. It really was true.
“I didn’t tell you, because I was afraid you’d kick my ass, as you friend so beautifully put it.” He tries with a soft smirk and you hate to admit, that your resolve does vanish a little. Damn, he was charming and too cute for his own good.
“Okay. Okay…” You try to compose yourself, before looking at Matt again. “Why do you fight? Who do you fight? And HOW?! I mean, aren’t you blind?!”
Your voice borders on shrill as you stare at him, so confused. Matt looks in your direction, his eyes (his beautiful hazel eyes) not really meeting yours and he takes your hands gently in his. “I am blind, but I can see more than you can imagine.”
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An hour later, your head is filled to the brim. Matt has told you his entire story, everything from his accident that left him blind as a kid to his night time activities as The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. A Daredevil indeed you grin, remembering Jessie’s words.
Along with the story Matt apologized so many times, never in his life wanting to hurt you like this. The reason behind broke your heart. He didn’t think he’d have a soulmate, never believing he deserved one. The guilt he had carried with him from he was a kid, believing he was the reason his father died to the people he had hurt along the way, intentionally and unintentionally, made him believe he didn’t deserve to be happy. 
“Matt, I… I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. If only I could have found you sooner, I-”
“It’s not your fault.” He rubs soothing circles on the back of your hand, maybe more to his own benefit than yours. He has exposed himself, not only his entire story laid before you, but his secret identity. He’s vulnerable, waiting for your judgement over him and the thought makes your heart ache.
“I almost didn’t come tonight.” He looks up from your hand, his eyes searching for yours. “I was afraid you’d never want to talk to me after everything I’ve put you through. I can’t even imagine what you must think of me. How much you’ve hated me over the years. I’m so sorry.”
“Matt, you don’t have to-”
“Yes, I do. Do… Do you think you can forgive me?”
The tears in his eyes he’s been holding back, falls in a steady stream. In that moment, seeing him so broken over the hardship he’s put you through, you forget all the hatred and reach for him, cupping his cheeks. Without thinking, you lean forward and kiss him. It’s short and sweet, but it still makes your heart flutter.
Gently you pull away and hold his face softly until his eyes meet yours and right there you know. He is yours and no matter what lies behind you, is forgotten. You’ve found him and your heart have finally found its home.
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TCF girls: @e-dubbc11 @itwasthereaminuteago @saintmurd0ck @pedrito-friskito @realfernmayo @idrinkcoffeeandobsess @mattmurdocksscars
Tagging: @lucy-sky @murdock-and-the-sea @murdockswh0r3
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lightvixxen · 2 years
Text
Eddie munson x insecure!bestfriend!reader
A/n:This is purely self-indulgent bc I needed some comfort lolz, also major vent post and its kinda personal bc this is actual stuff from my own vents lol, but I just needed to write Eddie comfort and ik there’s some plus sized ppl who feel the same<3
Warnings: degrading language(not the fun kind), insecurity, reader calls themselves names in their diary, negative self-talk,reader willing gets into a toxic arrangement, fluff…so much fluff, best friends to lovers, small angst but its hurt/comfort, small mentions of violence, Eddie just wants to harm the ppl that hurt you.
Summary: Eddie reads ur diary and need to show just how fucking wrong u are abt yourself.
Eddie had been in your room countless times, though this time, he was on a fucking mission. He had managed to convince you to go downstairs alone to grab some drinks, and he prayed it kept you occupied long enough for him to snoop.
You had been down the past few days and he needed to know why, unfortunately for him, you kept your mouth shut on your feelings, opting to change the subject every time he asked. Luckily for him though, you wrote down everything in a small blue notebook. Eddie grabbed the notebook out of its hiding place, flipping through its pages, he knew this was an invasion of privacy but damn it he was worried, sue him.
He stopped, finally coming to the most recent page, which had everything he needed to know.
September 19, 1987.
So, I went back to him…and I know what your thinking “why would you go back to someone who uses you?!”
Eddie already knew who and what you were talking about, had spent countless nights staying up with you as you sobbed into his shoulder about the boy who would never return your feelings and played you consistently. And spent countless nights fighting the urge to grab a fucking bat to go kill the son of a bitch. But he reads on.
Well, I’ll tell you, it’s because its what I think I deserve. I’ve kinda accepted my fate to the “fuckable but not datable” Role of my life. After all no one wants a fat ugly whore hanging off their arm.
God- Eddie wanted to both punch and hug you, you were absolutely perfect and beautiful, words couldn’t describe how much he wanted you. How much he wanted you hanging off his arm, contrary to your belief- you weren’t ugly, sure you were bigger than all the other girls, but that just meant more to love! He wanted to worship every part of your body. To show you off, show all the fuckers who said those nasty things to you what they were missing. And for fucks sake, you saw yourself as a whore?! You barely slept with anyone, and the people you did sleep with you had known for years!
I just- I just want someone to actually care, want someone to tell me they love me and mean it.
Eddie loved you, He loved you so fucking much even he, himself couldn’t believe it. He looked at you with so much adoration and love it was unbelievable how oblivious you were to him.
Nobody wants a nerd, no one wants a plus sized- or well fat, Plus size is only for the pretty ones, that of which I am not. Also no one wants baggage, or someone who’s clingy if they say they do they’re lying. Or i would have someone, pretty sure no one in this school would touch me with a 10ft pole. Lol jealous of the people who are wanted.
The entry ends and Eddie wants to cry, he hated the fact you talked about yourself like that. He wanted everything about you, he was fucking crazy over you. He wished he could make you see yourself the way he saw you. Because fuck- you were a goddess to him. He worships the fucking ground you walk on. He wanted to take you out on sappy dates, and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Not the way you’ve been treated by your exes, he hated how they treated you like a fucking toy.
Eddie heard your heavy footsteps bounding up the stairs, he didn’t bother putting your diary away. He was going to shoot his fucking shot because damn it if that’s how you’ve been feeling he wanted to show you how fucking wrong you were.
“Okay I finally got- Eds…what the fuck?!” You almost dropped the two cans, seeing your best friend with your diary. It’s obvious he had read it, so fucking obvious in the way he was staring at you.
Eddie didn’t say anything as he gently closed the notebook. Didn’t say anything as he slowly got up from your bed. You thought he was going to run out, tell you everything you had thought was true, that this was the end to your friendship with Eddie. Instead, he crossed the room, walking towards you and before you knew it he was pulling you into a bone crushing hug.
“E-Eddie?!” You squeaked, arms hanging loosely at your sides. “God- your so fucking stupid you know that?! You talk so fucking negatively about yourself, while your oblivious to the way I look at you!” You were stunned, you couldn’t tell if he was comforting you or not.
But he continued, “you’re so fucking beautiful, and pretty and so fucking amazing, I want you to be the one hanging off my arm. Fuck- sweetheart I want everything about you.” Your face fell, more than it already could. You had heard that phrase so many times, and it only landed you being stranded in your sheets.
“Eddie- c’mon don’t play like that.” You murmured, even with the way he was hugging you, you couldn’t believe someone could ever want you outside of sex. “I’m not fucking playing!” He pulled back from you, a firm grip on your shoulders, he wanted to shake you until you realized he was telling the truth. “Sweetheart, I love you genuinely, every time- every single fucking time, you mention someone hurt you, or someone used you. I’ve had to fight the urge to kill a motherfucker for making you think like that.”
Tears slowly well up in your eyes. You knew Eddie, he didn’t joke about that kind of shit. Not after what happened last year. “Sweetheart-“ Eddie wiped your tears, “you don’t know how much I love you, I worship the fucking ground you walk on, I’ve written stupid love songs about how much I want you.” His eyes are locked on yours, letting you know just how serious he is about this. “You literally consume my every thought, all I think about is what your doing, what you feel, The way you laugh, the way you smile-“ Eddie hugged you once again. “God if I knew that’s what you were feeling I would’ve told you this ages ago, but…I’m absolutely crazy about you.”
And with that he kissed you, it was slow, passionate, letting you know just how much he meant every word. Every-time you tried to make it heated, tried to deepen the kiss he would pull away. He wasn’t gonna let your stupid insecurities and thoughts ruin the image you have of him.
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stvnszlr · 2 months
Note
HI! Here to beg u for Steven adhd headcanons
Pls i promise i'll be good this year.
oh my goodness … so um this is something i am like way too passionate about !! im going to seem like the craziest crazy person EVER by sharing this cuz i wrote .… a lot but u guys gotta stick with me okay you’ll see the vision
THANK YOU for asking this btw ! this is one of the things that makes me relate to steven the most ,,>_<,, and i will literally talk abt it anytime
☆ steven adhd hc’s / reasons why i think it’s possible he has adhd ! ☆ ( coming from someone who has a severe combined type adhd diagnosis )
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please note this is all just speculation !! i’ve noticed some connections between his behavior / things he’s spoken about and adhd symptoms , but i am certainly no doctor and the only one who can truly determine any of this is steven himself . these observations are mostly just for my comfort as a neurodivergent person :)
ohhh stevie is a BIG stimmer :) he taps on everything in sight , he also hums a lot and likes to move his body ! bouncing , jumping , flapping , shaking , jiggling , playing with his hair ( i have video evidence sue me >:( )
people often describe him as “twitchy” , randomly making odd movements or sounds that can surprise and confuse those around him
vocal stims , dude . like my man is a parrot he’ll repeat random phrases over and over without thinking about it , just going about his day mumbling the most obscure sentences without even realizing
i’ve also noticed from watching videos he has a big BIG tendency to repeat things other people say !! i think that’s a combo of vocal stimming and also struggling to fit in when making conversation
he has literally confessed to having sensory issues related to taste and texture ??!?!? so i imagine he has them with other things too it’s mostly touch or sound related things that really get to him and can cause overwhelm but honestly anything that catches him at the right time will have him retreating inside himself and blocking everything out , unable to respond cuz he can’t think or listen
also seems to struggle with clothes touching his body ! he is always in loose tank tops and wears a lot of cropped pants / shorts , and has never really worn a lot of accessories unlike his bandmates . this could definitely be attributed to sensory issues , especially hating the feeling of wearing jewelry ( rings especially ) and also makeup on his face
drums !!! poppy loves drumming , it is SUCH a good stimulant for his brain cuz it works muscle memory , gives a dopamine rush , and combines both creative thought with an athletic activity
hyperfixations oh my god he is so bad . so so bad . he’ll pick up something for like a few weeks and dedicate EVERYTHING to it just to never pick it up again
very typical hyperactive type adhd , trouble focusing and sitting still OH MY GOD this man cannot sit normally for the life of him
um hyperfocus also !! drums is prolly his biggest one but if it’s something he’s super tuned into he can just . sit there and mindlessly work on it for HOURS before someone notices and is like hello take a break ??
didn’t like school cuz he always felt like he wasn’t smart , he was actually really interested by some subjects but just couldn’t keep up as a student :/ he also started getting into skating and music which were much better dopamine activities than school so he kinda just . quit ?
part of why his mom kicked him out so young , he was impulsive and reckless and very VERY high energy , easily irritated and his emotions had no filter / couldn’t control them or his actions based on them
this poor kid is so forgetful . he really cannot remember shit and it gets him in trouble a lot ! he’s gotta be reminded by the guys about EVERYTHING and it annoys them to no end , and steven always feels bad cause he wishes he could remember , but for some reason he forgets every time !
it’s where his irritability comes from too , he sometimes flips like a switch and can get really defensive and aggressive . he’ll lash out and turn really angry — not in a super serious way , but it’s the reason he gets in so many little fights with all the other guys , especially axl .
this is also tied in with the rlly strong sense of justice that neurodivergent people feel !! the reason he’d stand up and talk back when everyone else could just let it go
easier to fall into addiction and harder to get out of it . places a vice on his brain , trapping him in dependency on the drugs and making it so much more difficult to quit — why it took him so much longer to get sober than any of the others , even after all his health scares
drugs are also a coping mechanism for sensory issues and that awful , isolating feeling of being built just slightly different than everyone else
UM ???? LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT STEVEN POST GNR + LEAVING THE BAND IS JUST SCREAMING RSD ??? like the abandonment issues built up from his childhood ON TOP of being insanely sensitive to disappointing others / feeling unwanted ?? yeah i fucking understand why he couldn’t let go of it for almost twenty years of his life that’s like the worst possible thing to go through as someone hypersensitive to feelings of rejection bro . oh my god .
rsd also attributes to him being really eager to please especially with friends , and trying to talk himself up and seem cool and on their level and worth keeping around :(
i do also think it is likely that he learned to mask a LOT of his symptoms , of course not all of them ( as we can pretty obviously see in like . any video ever taken of him ) but a lot of the less socially acceptable ones he naturally forced himself to hide :( 
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berryhobii · 6 months
Note
Hi!! I'm so happy you are back queen! I hope you are healthy and happy!
Since you accept requests, could you do husband!namjoon x a black reader where she has gained some happy weight and she is feeling herself (and so is he 😉)
Thanks so much for your request and kind words! I was actually a little stumped writing this. I wrote multiple ideas but they all sounded a little weird. I hope I did it justice though! This kind of turned into just a fluffy, intimate thing with sweet husband Namjoon. Please let me know if you don’t like it🩵🩵
~
Namjoon softly closed the door behind him, letting out a groan as he sat down on the little stool by the door. It was your idea after seeing how much Namjoon struggled to take off his shoes when he came home. There was just so much of him and it actually surprised you how bad he was at moving his body sometimes. When you met him, he was so poised and put together. You’d never think he was that clumsy until he almost tipped the table over on your first date. You could still remember how bashful and shy he looked as he tried to pick up all of the utensils he dropped, apologies falling from his lips. Your laugh was bright as you crouched down to help him and capturing his heart with a few words.
“Who put that table there, huh? Do you think they’ll give us free refills if we threaten to sue for improper placement of their property?”
Unlike most people he’s encountered, you never gave him a hard time about his bad equilibrium and tendency to break things. You’d just give him a kiss and help him figure out a way to prevent it from happening again. He knew his faults and even he thought they were funny but you never made him feel bad about it. You just dusted him off and made him a snack. You were just so amazing and nurturing. He loved you so much.
His friends tried to force him out of the studio hours ago but he was too absorbed in finishing his work that he just couldn’t leave. Meaningless, he knew, since he still didn’t complete the track once 1AM rolled around. What was the point? But his stubbornness and need for perfection wouldn’t allow him to turn off his computer. Not until he could barely keep his eyes open anymore.
He opened the fridge, looking around to find a set of Tupperware containers that were placed right at the front. A smile graced his features as he pulled out the containers of pasta and steak with vegetables. While he was smiling, a feeling of guilt filled his heart as he warmed up the food. He knew the person that cooked it was probably sleeping, not able to wait up for him any longer.
He honestly felt horrible knowing this was yet another night you had fallen asleep without him by your side. You already knew of his career as a producer when you met him. You knew there would be moment where you two wouldn’t be together because of his deadlines. Really, you understood. He had a lot of pressure on his shoulders—producing for idol groups, dramas, even kids shows. Effort was what you were looking for and he certainly put that in; fancy dates, effective communication, intimacy. Namjoon gave you all of that. He was the best thing that could have happened to you and vice versa.
He almost wished he didn’t have such a demanding job so that he could spend more time with you. He loved what he did but he loved you more. He needed to get it together.
He tried not to make too much noise as he heated up his food, failing when he slammed the microwave too hard and then almost tore the dishwasher drawer off trying to pull it out.
“Angel?”
He turned around to see you standing there, his heart clenching at the beautiful sight. Your hair tied up in a scarf, eyes closed as you rubbed the drowsiness away. You wore one of his shirts, the familiar faded picture of Aaliyah on the front . No pants, of course. You hated sleeping in pants because they made your legs feel restricted. Namjoon could almost see a peek of your light blue underwear. Goodness, was now the time to get a boner?
“Baby. Did I wake you?”
You yawned and shook your head. “No. I couldn’t really sleep. I just noticed the light was on.”
He hummed, not really knowing what to say. You approached him, wrapping your arms around his body to snuggle into his chest. His hands went to your waist, squeezing at the plush softness. He has been noticing you’ve been getting just the tiniest bit thicker lately. Of course, he loved you regardless but there’s just something about the recent change that just made his heart swell.
“Sorry. I’ll join you in bed soon.”
You rubbed your cheek on his collarbone, his heart fluttering at the little kisses you placed there as well. “It’s fine, angel. I’ll stay with you.”
And you did, sitting on his lap as he ate, his chewing and breathing lulling you almost back to sleep.
At the sound of him placing his utensils down, you perked up, sliding off his lap to let him put his dishes in the sink. He pouted a little at the lack of your warmth and weight sitting on his lap but he figured you two would be in bed soon. He’d have you wrapped up in his arms.
After he rinsed out his dish, he turned back around to face you, smiling endearingly at how you swayed slightly on your feet.
“Come on baby. Let’s get to bed.” He crouched down a little bit to grab the back of your thighs, picking you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist, arms going around his neck and your head on his shoulder. He patted you twice on the bottom before carrying you to your shared bedroom.
He laid you down on your side of the bed and then tried to stand but your arms held onto him, a whine coming from you.
He breathed out a little laugh. “Let me go shower, baby. I’ll be right back.”
You sighed but relented. While you loved your husband and wanted to cuddle him right now, you hated outside clothes on the furniture even more. Releasing him, he gave you a peck on your forehead before standing to his feet. A little part of him wanted to forgo a shower to dive between your thick thighs. You were laid out so prettily for him, practically begging for his affection. Damn, he missed you.
Ignoring the stirring in his pants, he went to take a shower. Extra cold to ease some of the tension.
Entering the bedroom again, he found you dozing off. Your shirt had fully ridden up your body, showing your soft tummy and the blue cotton underwear you wore. The waistband slightly dug into your love handles and the pudge of your tummy. You’ve definitely filled out over the past couple of years. Happy weight, you called it when he commented on how your thighs and ass looked amazing in a pair of jeans you wore some days ago. It actually made him feel really good that you were so settled and secure in your relationship. Like he was doing something right.
Sensing him approaching, you cracked open your eyes, holding out your arms to allow him into your embrace. He smiled, climbing into bed and taking his place on your chest. Sighing in content, he snuggled into your soft breasts, finally feeling his body relax fully.
Your fingers rubbed at his upper back, traveling up the nape of his neck to scratch at his hair.
“Sorry I’ve been coming home late.”
“It’s okay. I just know you’ll create a wonderful OST for that drama. I better cry everytime I hear it.”
He chuckled. “You cried at that song I made for a children’s cartoon.”
You shrugged one shoulder, scratching at that magic spot that made him let out a little grunt. “I was proud of you. I always am.”
Those words almost made him cry. All he wanted was to make you proud, to be someone you could rely on. And he knew he was failing a little at being an active husband but that would change. He’d do anything for you, anything for your happiness.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, angel.”
His head lifted off your chest to look into your sleepy eyes, a little smile gracing your face that he reciprocated, his dimple popping in his cheek. You poked it and then booped him on the nose.
“Now, I’ve been feeling your hard on on my leg for a little while. Why don’t you do something about it?”
That was all the signal he needed.
Namjoon sighed as he buried his face further into your breasts, an overwhelming need to suck on the dusty brown nipples washing over him. “Thank god. I’ve been hard since you walked into the kitchen.”
“Mmm, well make love to me, angel.”
“I’ll take care of you, baby.” He lifted up, pulling your shirt up and bringing it to your mouth. You opened her mouth to bite down on the fabric. “Good girl.” You whined at the praise, arousal immediately soaking your already wet panties.
Namjoon sat up on his knees, hungry eyes taking in the beauty that was you. Gripping your panties, he pulled them down your legs, thighs opening to invite him in. It feels like ages since he’s seen your pussy; neatly trimmed and puffy, already glistening with arousal.
“You haven’t been touching this, have you?” You shook your head, flinching when his fingers lightly tapped your clit. He hummed and smiled. “Good. Because only I can touch this, isn’t that right?” He moved to remove the shirt from your teeth, a low moan coming from you.
“Yes, angel. Only you.”
Good. His fingers pressed a little harder to your clit, a sigh falling from your lips. Adjusting himself so that he was laying on his stomach between your legs, his mouth ghosted over your slick cunt, tongue darting out to lick a stripe up your pussy. He moaned at the taste, so familiar, so delicious, so you.
“You taste so good, baby.” He dove in, slurping up all the wetness you’d give him. You moaned as he sucked harshly on your clit, pleasure sparking up your back. Your thighs tried to shut but his shoulders held them open, your hands buried in the pillow behind your head.
“Ah! Angel, more.” You begged.
Two fingers buried themselves to the knuckle, a gasp leaving you throat. He adjusted himself so he could comfortably finger your, mouth still sucking and licking on your clit. The tip of his tongue flicked all over the swollen nub, your back arching and toes curling at the assault. One of your hands came down to bury in his hair, hips bucking into his mouth and pleasure igniting every nerve in your body.
“Angel….I’m gonna cum…” you breathed out, lungs struggling to pull in oxygen.
He smirked against your core, pulling back slightly to look up at your face; your eyes were closed, lip pulled between you teeth as you humped his face to bring yourself closer to orgasm. You were positively gorgeous. Next to your smiling face, the face you made when you were raptured by pleasure was his favorite look on you.
His fingers crooked harder against that spot inside of you. “Cum, baby. All over my tongue.”
That was all it took before black spots clouded your vision, orgasm washing your body. The feeling settling in your bones as your husband continued to lap at your clit to guide you through.
Once your orgasm slowly ebbed away, vision clearing and chest heaving, your eyes met your husband’s. He was wiping your arousal from his mouth, hand glistening with your juices. Dropping your mouth, you stuck your tongue out lewdly.
Namjoon groaned. “Fuck. You’re such a good girl.” He stuck his fingers in your mouth, your tongue and mouth sucking your juices off them. He pressed slightly on your tongue, loving how pliant and submissive you looked.
Pulling his fingers from your mouth, he moved to grab the back of his shirt, pulling it over his head and revealing his toned form to your starving eyes. You reached out to lightly trail the tips of your stiletto nails up up and abs. Totally yummy.
You motioned towards him with a beckoning finger, lip pulled between your teeth. “Come on, angel. Fuck me back to sleep.”
He could already put together the words of his resignation letter because he would happily quit his job to dick you down every day.
He pulled his boxers off, cock slapping against his abdomen. You bit your lip at the sight; his cock was long and thick, mushroom tip shiny with precum. You wanted it down your throat but that could wait until the morning.
Flipping over your belly, you took a pillow to place it under your hips to keep your ass lifted and yourself comfortable. You arched a little, poking your ass out and the sight was enough to make him feel like cumming already.
Both of his hands smoothed over your ass, slapping the fat and watching it ripple. “I love you so much.”
You hummed, turning your head to look behind you, sending your husband a smile. You loved him too. With everything you had.
“I love you too. Now, fuck me please. Chop chop.”
He playfully rolled his eyes but obeyed. He was tired of holding out anyway. Grabbing his cock with one hand and pumping hand, his other pushing one of your ass cheeks up to get a better view of your clenching hole.
He slowly pushed inside of your warm cunt, biting his lip hard enough to bleed at the wetness. You lightly moaned as he stretched your walls. It’s been a while since you two have been able to have soft sex like this. Quickies in the shower and impromptu head had been your go to lately. It was nice to be able to have these sweet moments of intimacy with him though.
His hips met your ass, letting out a shaky breath. What the hell…..? Has it really been that long? Your pussy felt absolutely heavenly. He was ready to blow his load already. He prided himself on his ability to satisfy you. Over the years, he’s gotten to know your body, able to get to you to where you needed to be in record time. He’s never let you walk off without at least 2 orgasms.
But with the way you were clenching around him, he was starting to think that streak was about to be broken.
Good thing you were just as desperate as him.
“Go angel, I’m already close.”
Puffing out a breath of air, he began moving his hips back and forth, making sure to press his entire length into your walls. This position allowed him to reach deep inside of you, his tip rubbing right up against your sweet spot.
“Ah fuck, you feel so good baby.”
“Mmmmm….you’re so deep.” You sighed, relaxing as gentle pleasure cascaded across your body. Everything just felt heightened, weightless, and so intimate.
Namjoon’s hips sped up just a little, eyes focused on how your ass and love handles jiggled with each push. He couldn’t help but deliver a sharp slap to one of your cheeks, your hips jumping at the small sting of pain.
“I’m cumming, angel.”
He leaned down to place a kiss to your shoulder. Your head turned to capture his lips, sighing in content. “Go ahead.”
This orgasm was tender. It settled in your muscles and vibrated all the way to your toes.
Your pulsing walls also brought him to his release, his hips pressing all the way into you, cum filling you.
Namjoon inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before slowly pulling out of you.
You stretched your body, groaning as tiredness seeped into your bones.
“I’m sleepy.” You yawned. Namjoon smiled down at you, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder and inhaling your soap and lotion.
“Me too. Let’s get you cleaned up first though.” He climbed off the bed, grabbing his boxers to put them back on.
You rolled over on your side, throwing your arm up. “Carry me.”
After getting cleaned up and situated back in bed, you were inches away from slipping into dreamland. Warm, snuggled up to your husband and a post orgasmic haze settled over you, you were about to sleep harder than you did after Thanksgiving.
His hand rubbed on your ass, not sexually but in a soothing and tactile way. “Baby?” He called. He was also tired but he wanted to ask you something. All he got from you was a hum that let him know you were listening. “I love you.”
You lightly kissed his chest, rubbing a hand up his belly. “Love you too. Now sleep. You’ll need it for tomorrow.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why? What’s tomorrow?” Had he forgotten something? It wasn’t your anniversary…..was it? No. Were his parents visiting? Now he was overthinking.
“You’re not going to work.”
“I’m not?”
“Nope. We’re going to have sex on every surface of this apartment. I need you well rested. Good night.”
Oh. Oh. OH.
Yeah, screw that job. He could take some vacation time.
145 notes · View notes
multi-fxndom446 · 8 months
Text
This is the end
Summary: you, Sebastian and Ominis all come to the conclusion that it’s time to move on
Warnings: angst, unresolved feelings in literally every direction. Duncan is a dick, Garreth is v protective. (I love Garreth sue me)
Word count: 11k😬
Guys when I tell you I genuinely did not mean to let this get as long as it did but oh well. I fully could do a part two or like multiple parts for each of the guys? Just let me know.
This was also just to allow me some time to continue writing my Benny x reader fic✌🏼😋
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This is the place where I wish all of you all the best.
Ominis could hear it. He could hear the moment everything shifted. The exact moment that the sounds started to ring in his sensitive ears as if an annoying bug buzzing constantly near him.
He could hear it the moment he decided to follow you and Sebastian into the catacombs the first time when you went looking for the relic. He could hear the pounding in his ear now as he listened to the both of you talk.
He could hear it laced into Sebastian’s words as they turned venomous against him for ever thinking he’d let Ominis take his one chance at saving his sister away. And he could hear it in your voice.
The desperation to keep the peace between the two always seemed to be a huge concern for you. Why it irritated Ominis so much he couldn’t be sure. Maybe it was your lack of understanding or more so the lack of concern for yourself.
He hated the way you tried not to side with anyone. He hated the way you were so convincing with what you had to say. Maybe it was because he was always rather weak for your words.
He clung to them the moment you buried yourself in his heart. He knew he’d do anything you’d asked of him he just hoped you wouldn’t ask for so much.
He could hear the change when you finally calmed Sebastian down enough for you to confront Ominis.
“Please Ominis.” You whispered so softly he could’ve lost his composure if it wasn’t the only thing he had left. “I don’t want this to end the way Sebastian will make it end.”
“And how exactly is that?” He snapped, taking a step back when his wand sensed you were too close to him. He needed you further away. He couldn’t think straight with you so close.
Taking a deep breath he paced in front of you, trying to gather his thoughts. Until finally, “please. He won’t listen to me. I need your help to convince him to leave the relic.”
Silence was the only thing that followed his request and how he hated the silence. “Ominis I promised him I’d help find a cure.”
“And what of the promises you made to me?!” He demanded, taking you by surprise by his sudden outburst.
He could hear Sebastian’s impatient footsteps further down and he knew he was close to losing both of you. “Let us leave ominis. I promise I will look after him.”
“I-I cannot.” He knew if he allowed this this would be the monumental moment he could never go back and change. But no matter how it happened the outcome didn’t end well.
“Please don’t make me use Imperio Ominis, I beg of you.” Your voice cracked and along with it his will to fight you. He stopped his pacing and turned in the direction of your voice, his face morphing into nothingness as his resolve broke down.
He couldn’t follow you down this path any longer. He helped you with the scriptorium for you not for Sebastian but this..this he could no longer do. “Fine. Leave.”
He heard your voice call for Sebastian as both of your footsteps faded into nothing. In the silence he knew even now he would always go back to you if you needed him and that alone crushed him.
When hopelessness turns from emotionless into depressed.
There were many times in the past when Ominis would find you hiding out in the undercroft by yourself. When he first met you he couldn’t stand it and he’d turn right back around and leave without so much as a hello.
But one evening when, for whatever reason, he decided to give you a piece of his mind for invading the space. His space. A space you had no right being in. He worked himself up enough from the entrance to where he found you by your voice that he was about to start shouting when he heard the sniffles and he stopped dead in his tracks.
“Y/n..?” His soft tone startled even himself and from the sounds of you frantically shuffling around he could tell it startled you as well. “Are you alright?”
“Ominis!” You put on a cheery voice and he frowned. He wasn’t ever pleasant to you in the past so why now, even when he found you at your most vulnerable you decided to try and be nice he would never know. “I’m sorry! Don’t mind me. I just needed a moment and I thought you had class.”
He listened as you got to your feet, “I do. I decided I didn’t want to go today.” You hummed curiously in response. “So now I have all the time in the world for you to tell me what’s wrong.”
He moved to the spot next to you and slid down to sit. You stood for a few moments more before you reluctantly slid down next to him.
This was the moment that changed how he felt about you. You didn’t talk that day, you both just sat in silence until the next period started but since then he would frequently go to the undercroft around the same time to see you.
Overtime you opened up to him and he to you. Until one day you stopped showing up at all. Though he never gave up hope that you would return for your brief hours alone so he continued to come, he never told you but he never had a class at that hour. He had only gone there to get away from Sebastian.
One day his hopes did come to light. It had only been a few days since the relic incident and if he was being honest he didn’t expect to find you there at all.
But the moment he stepped foot into the space it was filled with your uncontrollable sobs. He was quick to drop everything he was holding, beside his wand, and quickly follow the sound of your voice. “Y/n? Y/n tell me what’s wrong please.”
Though he was still mad at you he knew he was right that he’d always come back to you if you needed him and now you did. He crouched a few steps from you, holding his hand out and hoping you would take it which you did.
You grabbed it and he pulled you to him, his butt falling to the ground in the process of holding you in his arms. You cried into his neck while he held you. “Y/n please tell me what’s happened?”
“You were right Ominis. I can’t stop him.” You cried wrapping your arms tighter around him. “He’s turned cold, reckless and ungrateful for everything I’ve given up to help him.”
He stayed silent and just let you cry. He could tell that mentally you were depleted. His best friend continued to take and take with no regard for your well being and it broke his heart to see you finally hit the realization of it.
Finally after awhile when you calmed down enough to let go of your death grip on Ominis you spoke in a quiet voice close to his ear. “I’m scared of what he will do Ominis. I can’t stop whatever he’s going to do. I’m sorry.” His grip on you tightened.
“Don’t be sorry.” He turned his head slightly to kiss yours. “It’ll be okay.” Soon after you fell asleep in his arms and carefully while also very slowly he took you to the medical wing where you were quickly taken from his arms and put into a bed.
He was pushed away soon after to go to the dining hall for dinner when the very man that had you sobbing only mere hours ago came running over to him.
He asked him to come to the Catacombs to help him. He was almost inclined to say no until he said that Anne would be there. “Have you even noticed that’s y/ns not here?” Immediately Sebastian perked up and looked around. “You haven’t have you? And I suppose you expect her to help you in this endeavor as well?”
“She already agreed to help.” Instantly Ominis shut his mouth. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't deny the fact that you probably already did agree. “Please Ominis. Anne agreed to go if you help!”
He wanted to say no. So badly. He wanted to tell him to forget the relic if this was how he was going to treat those who helped him. But then he thought of you and anne in the catacombs against Sebastian and he didn’t know if worse come to worse if you or anne would be able to fight his best friend.
When finally he nodded his head in agreement Sebastian grabbed him in a hug and thanked him profusely before running out of the great hall and Ominis was left standing there. The buzzing in his ears coming back tenfold.
I’ve made amends with myself and I’m feeling okay.
Ever since Ominis was a child he held onto the guilt of casting Crucio on innocent people. Sebastian and Anne consoled him many times in the beginning, telling him how it wasn’t his fault he never asked to learn.
He knew that. Of course he knew that.
He knew it wasn’t his fault his family enjoyed casting it and it wasn’t his fault when they gave him the option to either cast it or have it used on him. Some days he wondered if he should’ve just let them kill him.
“Don’t say things like that.” You had said to him one day when he opened up to you. “You are a marvelous man Ominis. Don’t ever say something like that.”
And somehow, you got through to him when the others couldn’t. He knew it wasn’t his fault and he let himself be forgiven. He wished he could do the same right now as he stood outside the catacombs talking to Anne.
Just like when he was younger, he knew he had no control over what Sebastian did. He knew his best friend was lost to his own desperation but standing here listening to Anne’s voice break as she told him she couldn’t do it he so badly wished he could get through to him.
He wished he could change his mind just as he wished he could change his parents. He wanted to forgive himself for not watching out for Sebastian more.
“Ominis.” Your voice broke through the buzzing and it was then he realized Anne had fled. “Are you alright?”
He shook his head, “Sebastian’s in there.” He heard your soft sigh before your footsteps came closer to him. This time he didn’t back away from you.
“I can get him. I understand if you don’t want to follow.” He almost scoffed at your suggestion but instead he shook his head softly.
“I’m going with you.”
Only half way in did Ominis realize how wrong he was. He couldn’t do this. He can’t do this. Sounds became muffled to him as he listened to you riddle off spell after spell until deafening silence when you defeated the last inferi.
He heard your voice call to him but he couldn’t move not until your hand gently grabbed his arm. “I can’t go further.” He felt so guilty even saying it. He wanted to go with you, he wanted to protect you from Sebastian’s choices but he couldn’t.
Not only because he couldn’t bring himself to fight his life long best friend but because you had already made your choice alongside Sebastian. He couldn’t protect you from the spells Sebastian had already taught you. The ones you’ve already used in battle.
In the moment of realization he felt like a weight lifted slightly. He wasn’t to blame. He had nothing to feel guilty for. You and Sebastian made your choice and even if Ominis loved both of you dearly, it wasn’t him that edged either of you on to make those decisions.
“I understand Ominis.” Your voice brought him back. You almost had a tone of relief in your words like you could see his realization written across his face and were proud of him for not taking on more guilt that wasn’t his to bare. “I allowed him to get this far, I’ll be the one to finish it.”
“I have to get to professor black.” He said quickly and you squeezed his hand
You tugged in him slightly, pulling him into a hug. “Go.” You whispered and goosebumps ran up his arms. “I will fix this.”
Then you pushed yourself away from him and ran further into the catacombs.
The voice in my head keeps on telling me this is the day.
He knew the moment the three of you stepped foot into the undercroft after everything was said and done that it would most likely be the last time you three would ever be in there together if anyone of you did decide to return.
He could hear the change that suddenly surrounded all three of you. A silence so loud the ringing in his ears almost became unbearable.
Anne had run away as soon as she buried her uncle and Sebastian was breaking apart in the secret room while Ominis tore into him.
You stood silently to the side while you let Ominis get out everything he needed to say and he was grateful for that up until Sebastian stalked away and he was left alone with you. Suddenly he wasn’t so grateful for your silence.
Even less so when your first words were asking him to not turn in his best friend and how would he ever be able to say no to you?
Soon after everything did change just as he thought they would. Sebastian no longer talked to him or you for that matter but you also never seemed to be around for anyone to talk to anymore.
You busied yourself with anything and everything that even Natty and Poppy hardly ever saw you.
Until now when he found himself lounging in one of the many corners of hogwarts where he would usually go to, to take a nap. He was almost asleep until he felt you slide down next to him and his wand buzzed in delight.
“Hello.” Your voice sounded so lovely to him. He didn’t realize how lonely he’d gotten until you spoke to him again. “How have you been?”
He let the question hang in the air for a moment. “As well as one could be I suppose though I think I should be asking you that.” You laughed nervously and brushed off the comment.
“I just wanted to come over and thank you Ominis. I never properly did.” He could feel your fingertips ghosting over his hand before you seemed to think better of it and pulled away. You both sat in silence while he waited for what you thought you had to thank him for until finally you spoke up again, your voice so soft he believed if he didn’t have such a keen sense of hearing he would’ve missed it. “Thank you for not turning him in.”
“I didn’t do it for him.” The response was Almost immediate. You never discussed your feelings and he never knew if they landed closer to him or to Sebastian but somehow in this moment he knew it didn’t matter. It was over.
He could feel you tense next to him but before he could take back what he said or at least add on, you were gathering your things.
“Nevertheless. Thank you Ominis truly.” You leant over and kissed him on the cheek before you were on your feet and walking away.
He sighed, his fingers ghosting over where you kissed him.
This is the end.
This slideshow of all that I’ve seen and all that I’ve done.
Sebastian could see the change. He could see it in every empty seat next to him that you or Ominis used to occupy. He could see it In every corner he used to go to to speak with you if only for a moment.
He could see it in almost every room he frequented at Hogwarts. All of them laced with some sort of memory of you or of all of you together.
He could see it in the pitying looks he received from the staff and students. He didn’t know what lie was spread about his uncle but he wished the looks would stop most of all.
Some people glared at him like they knew what he did to you, those people mainly being Garreth and Natty.
But most of all he could see it in your disappearance
He worried for you. Of course he did, how could he not? He’s seen the many things you were capable of, he knew how powerful you were. He can recall the many many camps you took down and came rushing to tell him about.
He knew you were wearing yourself thin but in his haze he never seemed to give it much thought. Something he felt crushing him now as once again, on a new day, you were in none of the classes.
The teachers seemed to give a worried glance at your seat every so often and that never made him feel better.
He could see the side glances some of your closest friends constantly gave him. He had no doubt you told them of some of things he’d said to you in the past.
The way he formed his words to be as if daggers because even in the short time you knew each other he knew exactly what to say to cut you deep. And cut you he did. Yet you never gave up on him and you stood by his side till the last second.
He took advantage of you. He could admit that to himself. The longer he was with you the more power he saw you had the more he took from you. Every second with you was a second he fell in love with you but it was overshadowed by his own greed.
Ominis also acted as if he didn’t exist at the moment, though Sebastian was also partially to blame for it. Anytime he saw the familiar red glow of his wand he turned and booked it the other direction. The few times he didn’t notice Ominis until it was too late the blonde just walked past him with his lips pressed in a thin line. He knew that Ominis could sense him and he didn’t blame him for the treatment.
“Poppy?” One day he’d finally had enough. It was the second week in a row you didn’t show up to any classes and no one was talking about it. He’d seen your friends gather your assignments for you and the last he witnessed was Poppy just now collecting from the magical beasts class
She turned with a slight frown, holding all of the supplies in her hands. By the looks of it there were some extra treats she snagged to feed your beasts in the room of requirement. Had you not even gone there?
“Yes Sebastian?” The two of them were just barely entering the castle from where the summoners court was.
Sebastian shuffled on his feet slightly, “have you heard from Y/n?” He asked softly which made Poppy’s frown melt. “I haven’t seen her anywhere.”
“No I’m afraid I haven’t. I’m sorry.” Out of anyone he could tell Poppy wasn’t lying. She held the papers up slightly before speaking again “we’ve all been collecting assignments for her. I will say there is quite a pile now.”
“I’m just worried about her.” Poppy didn’t say anything to that. She didn’t know what to say. How could you console someone who you knew broke your best friends heart multiple times?
“I don’t think you should be worrying about Y/n, Sallow.” Poppy stiffened when she heard Garreths voice echo slightly from where he was. “It’s your fault she’s even disappeared in the first place.”
Sebastian turned to look at him slightly. Almsot shocked to see such anger on Garreths face. Never in the years he’d known him had he seen Garreth this angry. “Why is it any of your concern Weasley? I’m just concerned for a friend.”
“A friend?” Garreth scoffed and quickly made his way towards Sebastian. “No a friend wouldn’t hurt another friend as much as you have.”
Poppy looked between the two, her arms getting tired to the point she considered just dropping everything to try and stop this from escalating. “Guys please don’t fight.” But her plea fell on deaf ears as Sebastian took a step closer, his face screwed up in anger.
“What would you even knew Weasley? You’re barely friends.”
Garreth scoffed again, “goes to show how little you knew about Y/N. We spent as much time together as she did with the rest of you.” Sebastian couldn’t help the surprise he felt. “Shocked that she’d spend as much time with me as she did with you?”
When Sebastian was about to lunge the main door slammed open with an out of breathe Natty on the other side. “Natty? What’s going on?!” Poppy asked frantically when she saw the wild look in her friends eyes.
“I need a professor quick!” She said while she ran to poppy, crabbing hold of her arms. “It’s Y/n she’s just collapsed outside!”
Poppy finally dropped everything she was holding and Garreth was quick to start running back up the stairs. “I’ll get my aunt just go back out there and make sure she’s okay!” He shouted.
Sebastian was frozen in place while he watched Poppy and Natty run outside towards you. All he could do was stare at the papers scattered across the ground.
Only moments later, a crowd already started forming by the entrance. Sebastian found himself sat on one of the steps on the left side with your papers in a messy pile next to him.
Finally the doors opened again and in walked Professor Weasley who was walking in front of Garreth who was carrying your limp body in his arms. He felt his heart fall to the pits of his stomach at the sight of you, bloodied and bruised barely clinging to life.
Across the way on the other stair case he saw Ominis with his wand held out and his eyebrows pinched in worry.
Just what had you gotten yourself into?
It plays over my thoughts on repeat, like a terrible song.
It wasn’t until days later the reason for your injuries were spread throughout the school. He got wind of it at dinner when he was playing with the food on his plate and Imelda came to sit in front of him.
“It was the crucio curse.” His entire body froze. Ever since the day he cast it on you he has never been able to forgive himself but right now all he could think about was how what he’d done caused this. Almost as if seeing his panic she spoke again, “she tried to take down another bandit camp. Someone used it on her when she wasn’t looking.”
Even still that didn’t get his heart beating any better. You’d been crucioed for the second time in your life and one of them had been by him.
“I don’t know what she’s been doing but since she’s been gone there’s been reports of many bandit camps being taken down.” Imelda said picking up an apple from the middle of the table. “It’s no wonder this happened eventually.”
“Are you saying she deserves it?” He gritted out and Imelda stopped moving to take a really good look at him. His hair was a mess he had bags under his eyes and he was a lot paler than she last remembered. She didn’t know exactly what happened between the famous trio but she could see the toll it was taking on him.
Softly she set her apple down. “Of course not sallow. It may be hard to believe but she’s my friend as well.” He nodded his head slightly “I wouldn’t wish an unforgivable curse onto even my greatest enemy.”
He couldn’t hear anymore. Of course no one could think to use an unforgivable, no one ever would unless they were like him. “Where are you going?” Imelda called when he stood abruptly from his seat.
“Lost my appetite.” He muttered before making his way out.
He felt sick to his stomach. Everything he’s ever said or done to you seemed to all come crashing down on him at once.
The time he used an unforgivable curse on you didn’t seem to affect him in the moment but now when he looked back on it he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
He never even apologized to you for that. He never even tried to fight you in trying to act heroic when it was his own idea to go in there and it was he who mentioned it to you in the first place.
He knew what he was doing the moment you went into the scriptorium. It was the day he changed how he viewed you. That day he started using you for your powers and you let him.
He couldn’t breathe. He shoved open the big doors to the great hall, practically shoving anyone out of his way.
Not once did he ever consider the fact that you could have died. Not only because of him but because of everyone else who used you for your powers.
He clutched his chest, feeling his heart beat erratically. How lonely you must’ve felt. How lonely you must’ve been when everyone used you for their own purposes.
Finally he pushed open the final door and turned to the right to go to the corner where he could gather himself.
Where he could think about every awful thing he’s done. He loved you he truly did. When did he let his own selfishness get in the way of that? When did he think it to be okay to use his words to verbally wound you.
Words that he could see cut deep, almost as if cutting into your soul. Even in those arguments you never called off your attempts to help Anne. You would decide to go it alone and yet he still did what he did and said what he said.
“Did you see the new scar she got?” Suddenly the crushing world lifted slightly when he heard Leander Prewetts annoying voice cut through the silence.
The red head was walking with a few of his friends, only two of them Sebastian could recognize as Poppy and Garreth. “It’s gone down her arm.” Garreth confirmed, none of them seeming to notice Sebastian slumped over in the corner. Everyone except Leander.
“Do you wonder if it has anything to do with sallow?” Leander asked and poppy was quick to stop him.
“That’s not funny Leander. Sebastian wouldn’t do something like that.” Leander glanced towards the corner Sebastian was in, letting poppy follow his gaze. Her jaw tightened and she turned back to him, “Leander don’t start anything.”
Garreth finally seemed to realize what they were looking at but made no move to stop whatever Leander planned to do.
“Have something to say to me Leander?” Sebastian finally snapped after listening to the boy talk about him merely a few feet away.
“Not at all sallow.” The few students that were around went quiet to try and listen in on what was happening.
Sebastian hummed and started dropping his head back to the ground “Good. Because I’d hope you’d at least have the courage to say something to my face.” Leander scoffed.
“I just think it’s funny.” He spoke again, ignoring Poppy’s plea to leave it alone. “How the scar that appeared on Y/ns neck is quite similar to the new scar running down her arm caused by the crucio curse.”
Sebastian snapped his head up and abruptly stood. He took a few paces towards Leander who, to his surprise, didn’t back away. “What are you getting at Prewett?” He seethed.
“Nothing nothing” he held his hands up in mock defense before dropping them again. “Only that Y/n got that scar after spending an afternoon with you.”
“Is Leander trying to say Sebastian used crucio on y/n?” He heard someone whisper amongst the few students and immediately he drew his wand, Leander quick to follow.
“You think I cruciod y/n?!” He couldn’t admit it not in front of everyone. “I ought to crucio you Leander!”
“Sebastian!” As soon as the voice carried across the ever growing crowd everyone dispersed and Ominis stepped forward, his brow furrowed in fury. “That is enough.”
Close behind him was professor Fig. “Mr. Sallow. Mr Prewett. What is the meaning of this?” Leander was quick to put his wand away leaving Sebastian the only one looking like a threat.
“Nothing professor just a small quarrel.” Professor Fig opened his mouth to respond when Natty came around the corner yelling for professor Fig.
“Professor!” She shouted before she reached him and Figs whole attention was now on her. “It’s y/n.”
Professor figs head shot towards the boys and towards the doors leading to the great hall almost conflicted but before he could worry much more professor Weasley came out to see what was going on.
“Professor weasley! Perfect timing. Will you take care of these two? I have to go see Y/n” she instantly nodded her head and allowed Professor Fig to leave who was practically running down the halls following Natty.
Sebastian watched them go his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. Did something happen? Did you wake up?
Did you die?
When he looked towards Ominis he could see he also had the same questions running through his head.
“Now would someone care to explain what happened?”
I keep telling myself I can make it if I just press on.
The next few days he learned that no you didn’t die, you actually woke up and that day Natty was trying to find Fig because you woke up asking for him.
He started seeing you around school again and he became better at avoiding you completely. He couldn’t bare to see the scars or the bandages you had wrapped around you.
He couldn’t bare to see if Leander was right about the scar running up your neck.
You started going back to class and Sebastian was the one who decided to find a different seat before he saw you walk into class and realize you had to see him next to you.
He didn’t want to hurt you. Not anymore. Not after everything he’s done to you. So he tried to make life easier for you even if it felt like he was chipping away at his own heart and soul.
He would watch you interact with Garreth, suddenly becoming aware of the fact that the red head was right. You did spend a lot of time together just never in front of him, he’d always steal you away the moment Garreth would even say a word to you. Something he couldn’t do now.
With the absence of you and Ominis he has never been more lost. His grades never seemed to suffer and he wasn’t sure if it was the professors taking pity on him.
He was so sick of the pity. He was so sick of the loneliness he felt surround him. He missed you desperately.
Sebastian, after many attempts from students that called him ‘friend’ tried to get him to talk, finally found solitude at the top of the astronomy tower.
He always came during the day when no students would be up there. They had no point. He was skipping class again, he wasn’t sure anyone would take notice anymore.
As he looked out at the castle he called home he wondered if anyone would truly take notice if he disappeared all together. If anyone would even care if he decided to just-
“Sebastian.” The boys eyes widened in shock before he shook his head softly, hoping he was hearing the voice only in his head. “Sebastian I know you’re there I can sense you.”
In utter shock Sebastian turned his head slightly, “Ominis.” The blonde nodded in confirmation almost as if he was also reassuring himself that he was speaking to his old best friend. “What-?”
He couldn’t even ask, he didn’t know how. “Y/ns worried about you.” Ominis said matter of factly while he carefully walked closer to him. “Enough so that she’s come to me to check on you out of desperation.”
“Why didn’t she just come herself?” Ominis lolled his head to the side with his eyebrows raised as if to ask ‘seriously?’
“She’s noticed you’ve been missing class. You both seem to be switching off in that area.” He remarked but Sebastian wasn’t listening. His heart was pounding out of his chest. He couldn’t believe it, while he was sitting here wondering if anyone noticed, he never cared to hold your gaze long enough to realize you had been watching him silently the whole time.
“I-“ he paused to gather his thoughts. “Why?”
Ominis frowned, a scowl almost poking through on his face. “I don’t know. Especially after everything.” He said it with such distaste that Sebastian didn’t respond. Ominis sighed, “what are you doing Sebastian.”
“What?”
“Y/n gave you a second chance at life and here you are trying to waste it.” Silence fell between them while he processed the words. “She risked everything to keep you here the least you could do is actually do something with your life.”
Sebastian winced. He knew Ominis was right no matter how much his harsh words hurt. He deserved much worse anyways. “I didn’t know she was the reason why I was still here.” He admitted.
“She practically begged me and I agreed to convince Anne.” At the mention of his twins name, he couldn’t help the pricks of incoming tears. Another moment of silence stretched out before Ominis turned his whole body in the direction he presumed Sebastian to be. “Give me the book.”
The air seemed to get knocked out of his lungs like a quaffle struck him right in the stomach at full speed. “W-what?”
“Don’t play stupid Sebastian. Give me the book.” Ominis held his hand out expectantly and Sebastian quietly dug through his bag that had been lying on the ground next to him. He pulled out a book he snagged from the restricted section the day you were put into the medical wing. “I think you’ve known me long enough to not question how I knew you had this. I could sense the hatred that surrounded it.”
He didn’t have to explain further Sebastian already knew. It was the first book in the restricted section he had read in his search for a cure. He hoped if he was going to be alone for the rest of his life he may as well put some use to finding another cure.
“Anne’s gone.” Ominis said while stuffing the book into his own bag to return later. “I don’t even know where she went. So this search of yours is in vain.”
He shuffled in his bag some more before he pulled out another book. He practically shoved it towards Sebastian who took a step back in surprise. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you. I don’t know how she seems to have never hated you in the first place.” He was talking about you again with the same resentment in his tone like he knew something Sebastian didn’t. As if he was angry at Sebastian for a whole different reason. “She wanted me to gift you this.”
Sebastian took it softly. It was a book on first steps to becoming an auror. Something he always wanted to do before Anne was cursed. “She had that since the day you told her you wanted to be one.” The brown haired boy finally felt the tears falling from his eyes. “Start over Sebastian. If not for yourself for her.” Then he left and Sebastian was left standing there alone, crying.
But these hauntingly beautiful memories tell me I’m wrong.
Sebastian sat at his desk staring down at the book Ominis had handed over to him. The book you had with you since the day he told you his dreams.
He stopped crying awhile ago, his body felt like it could no longer cry. So with his bloodshot eyes he stared down at the book.
He knew Ominis was right. He always was. If he was given this chance he needed to use it. He loved Anne more than anything in the world but he also knew she was gone and he didn’t know if he would ever see or hear from her again. He had to move on.
Sebastian glanced up from the book, his eyes landing on an enchanted photo he got framed months ago. It was a picture of you him and Ominis in the undercroft. Next to it tucked into the corner of the frame was a Polaroid you gave him of just the two of you.
He wondered if he really could become an auror now even after everything. It was true that since you covered for him no one knew what truly happened and Ominis wouldn’t say anything against him nor would Anne. Even if they hated him they would be rooting for him In the end.
Just as you have this entire time.
He wished he wasn’t such a coward and could just talk to you like he used to but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. You were everything to him and he couldn’t bare the thought of himself not being everything to you, no matter how selfish that sounds.
You. You were so beautiful. In so many ways that Sebastian could write a book on, you were beautiful. The way you held yourself, the way you held such a dangerous power with such grace, the way you cared and loved others, the way you never seemed to have a selfish bone in your body not matter what people did or said to you.
He thought you were gorgeous when he could see the sparkle in you eyes after you took down a camp and rescued an animal or when you’d come back from feeding the rest of the animals in the room of requirement.
He remembered thinking how ethereal you looked the first time you showed him the sanctuary you had for them and the soft smile you had on your face while you nurtured them. He could still see it clearly. He was holding a baby niffler in his arms while you laughed softly at your Puffskeins. God how he wanted to kiss you then.
Quickly, he grabbed the book and shoved it into his bag. There was no point dwelling on any of this. You and he were done just as he and Ominis were. He determined if he couldn’t have you in his life the way he wanted he would work hard to fulfill what you had given him a second chance at. He would become an auror.
He made his way down to the Great hall for dinner, it was pretty full. He looked towards his table before his eyes landed on Ominis who was sat alone at the very end.
In the end more rumors were spread about him, too many for Ominis to even care anymore. He let people believe what they wanted and he continued to keep to himself.
Before he could stop and question himself Sebastian made his way down the table to the empty spot in front of Ominis and sat down. He didn’t say a word in greeting, just put some food on his plate and pulled the book out and began reading in silence.
“I’m glad Sebastian.” Ominis said softly his hand gripped his wand lightly just to understand what was going on in front of him. “She would be too.”
Sebastian didn’t respond. This conversation didn’t mean anything for them in the long run and he knew that. Ominis made it very clear he wasn’t sure he could forgive him but maybe just maybe if they both started out slow they could try and move on.
The doors to the great hall opened again and Sebastian looked up before immediately regretting it. As soon as he glanced up his eyes locked with yours and he couldn’t tell if his heart would beat out of his chest or stop beating all together. Because even now, with the new scars and even the old you looked just as beautiful as when he last saw you weeks ago.
Though some people would probably comment on how tired you looked and he couldn’t doubt it, you did. What hurt more was the look in your eyes. A mixture of hurt and relief.
It wasn’t hard to see you glance at Ominis and then back at him, your frown deepening. He wanted to get up. He wanted to go to you. He stopped when Garreth ushered you away, his own gaze trained on Sebastian too.
Sebastian didn’t even see Garreth walk in with you.
Your gazes broke away and you were careful not to let them meet again after that. “Has she spoken to you much?” Sebastian found himself asking.
Ominis frowned deeply and picked at his food. “The last real conversation we had was her thanking me and that was weeks if not a month ago at this point.”
“But she asked you to give me this book?” Sebastian pointed out, genuinely curious. He didn’t relize just how bad this falling out was.
“It was a fleeting moment.” He revealed. “She practically shoved it in my hands and ran.”
They didn’t say anything more after that but it was evident in both of them how much they missed you. And it seemed evident to everyone else that you three may never speak to each other again.
This is the end.
Push comes to shove but you’ve been pushed far enough for the day.
You could feel the change. The way the earth seemed to shift beneath your feet at such a high speed it threatened to knock you over every breathe you took.
You could feel it in the crushing pressure everyone put onto your shoulders. Never once considering that maybe it was to much.
You were a student you shouldn’t be doing the things you are just for the sake of being kind. Especially when they give you nothing in return or have the audacity to be rude to you.
You could feel it in the way the keepers held you to such high standards and the way professor fig always looked to you to do the right thing.
You never went a day where you didn’t feel like the entirety of the wizarding world laid solely on your shoulders.
You could feel it in their absence. The two people you missed the most as of late. You could feel it in the lingering glance’s Sebastian sent your way or the chill that ran down your spine when you heard Ominis speak from around a corner.
You were tired. You felt numb. Nothing was right anymore. You did everything you could to be the best everything but in the end it would never be enough.
You needed to be the best student, the best friend, the one everyone could rely on and not let any of it affect you. But it did. Everyone around you eventually started to take notice of it little by little.
Your closest friends were with you constantly whenever you were at Hogwarts and there was never a moment for you to be alone. You weren’t sure if you hated that or if you were thankful to them.
Loud screeching ripped you from your thoughts. You didn’t realize how far away you were until a spider attacked you, knocking you back. You gasped in pain when your back collided with the ground where many of your wounds were still trying to heal.
You shouldn’t be here you knew that. You said you would help Duncan, again. Out of everyone Duncan was the one to ask for the most out of you. You were furious.
This time was some ingredient you didn’t even care to remember at this point as you tried to just get out of the cave alive. You knew Duncan was a smart guy, you knew that Duncan kept how dangerous this task was just as he had for the past things he’s asked you to collect.
Before you were more than happy to oblige because you would always ask Sebastian or Ominis to come with. Now though you were becoming more and more aware of just how much these people asked of you.
You had a whole list of things you promised to get done. And again with little to nothing in return.
What felt like hours which was only a mere few minutes you finally cleared out all but one spider. You were in so much pain, clutching your side. You were almost positive you may have a cracked rib while some of your other older wounds re-opened and blood seeped through your clothes.
The spider screeched at you as he raised his front legs and got ready to attack but you were in no mood to play around.
You gritted your teeth and with the last bit of energy you had You used your ancient magic to lift the spider into the air and slam it into the ground over and over even when you knew it was dead, you let out a frustrated yell and slammed it into the ground one more time.
When you went to take a step forward you collapsed onto your knees. You heaved in a few painful breathes while you forced yourself to stand and slowly walked over to the stupid plant Duncan asked you for.
You snatched it along with a wiggenweld potion you found nearby. When you got outside the air pierced your lungs like a painful knife and you let out another painful dejected sigh.
You had taken the potion a few minutes ago but with the amount of injuries you had you knew it wouldn’t do much aside from keeping you breathing a little longer.
Pulling out your broom you made your way back to hogwarts. A new kind of fury burning in your lunges the more the potion worked away. You may just kill Duncan Hobhouse.
By the time you landed in the transfiguration courtyard you were seething. You could hardly feel anything now other than the need to punch the boy in the face.
You could faintly hear someone call your name in concern as you slammed the doors leading to the DADA tower open. “Duncan!” You yelled when you looked to your left and saw him standing in one of the many open areas in hogwarts.
He was standing with a few other students and some others were lounging about too. You stopped when you felt someone grab your arm gently and looked back to see a very concerned Poppy. “Y/n you’re bleeding. What happened?”
“Let’s ask Duncan.” You gritted out while stepping away from her hold to March up to the boy and throw his plant directly at his face. “Do you ever care that all the things you ask me to get you are in incredibly dangerous spots?”
“Whoa,” Duncan rubbed at his cheek where the plant smacked him and it almost just made you that more angry. How could this idiot be so weak and still have the balls to ask you to do such tasks? “Where is this coming from I had no idea where any of this stuff was located.”
“You are a liar!” You raised your voice and the students around quieted down. “I knew you were weak but I never took you for an idiot Duncan. You knew exactly where to find these just as you have in the past, you cannot tell me that you didn’t know that the tomb was dangerous.”
The few people that surrounded Duncan quickly backed away, fearing they may be in the path of your anger when it eventually overflowed. “You’re the hero of hogwarts I thought you could handle it.” he shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but you could see the sweat starting to fall down his neck. “It’s not like it’s anything new I’m not the only one using you for your power.”
“Duncan!” Poppy yelled from right behind you. You stood with your mouth woven tightly shut, trying to keep from saying anything.
“Well it’s true! What good is she otherwise?” Other students started to whisper. They seemed just as shocked to hear Duncan say any of this. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You thought it better to leave him to the wolves rather than deal with this yourself because you knew in the end many of your friends would be on his ass. Especially Garreth who had taken a protective stance around you ever since Sebastian.
You turned around to look at poppy who gently grabbed your arm and tried to look at your face to see if you were okay. “Let’s go poppy. He’s not worth my time.” She nodded and as you both were about to walk away you could hear Duncan start talking to his friends.
“I just don’t understand why I’m the only one getting chewed out.” Duncan muttered with your back still turned to him. “She let Sallow and Gaunt use her too if not more then the rest of us.”
“Duncan!” Poppy shouted, gripping onto your arm tighter. To keep you or herself planted there you weren’t sure.
You turned to him with a murderous look in your eyes. The whispers from nearby students instantly hushed again and Duncan gulped at the tense change of atmosphere.
“How dare you.” You practically growled out while you took a step closer, shaking poppy’s hand off in the process. Duncan took several steps back and you found a certain joy in knowing he was this scared of you when you weren’t even wielding your wand. “How dare you compare your situation with there’s. You know nothing Hobhouse. They may have used me but at least they didn’t cower behind me to do all the dirty work. Have some shame! You may speak when you grow the balls to go get your own damn ingredients instead of sending the so called ‘hero of hogwarts’ to fetch your stupid plants buried in dangerous tombs!”
“Y/n that’s enough.” Poppy tried to whisper but she went ignored.
“You are spineless Duncan.” You spat the words out with the most venom you could. He winced as they reached his ears. “And don’t you dare come to me ever again for your stupid errands. Put your own life on the line.”
You turned towards the crowd of students angrily. “That goes for all of you!” Silence fell across everyone while they stared at you in shock. They’d never seen you this angry before.
You glanced around just in time to see Sebastian and Ominis at the back of the crowd also staring in shock, though they also had a different look on their face. An emotion you couldn’t quite place.
Your stomach dropped to the floor and Poppy tried to reach for your hand again but you yanked yourself away and bolted out the doors to get as far from the dark arts tower as possible.
When all of your efforts were never good enough anyways.
You didn’t know why you did it. You didn’t know why you defended them even in the end to someone who wasn’t even important to you. It felt like you had to defend them to prove to more than just other students that they weren’t bad people.
You felt tears fall from your cheeks as your mind raced through everything you did from him. How you helped him in his darkest moments and how you tried to get him to go to a better path.
How you stuck by him even when he called you names or shouted at you or blamed you for not having answers.
You stood your ground when Ominis first got mad at you and again when he seemed to blame you for the choices his best friend was making until he realized it really wasn’t you.
It wasn’t fair.
After everything you did, everything you sacrificed how can those two keep talking like it never happened.
You knew you were being selfish just asking that. They’ve been best friends longer than you have known them of course they’d forgive each other first.
You just didn’t understand it. Ominis was so angry, it was you who convinced him to keep Sebastian at hogwarts. If you weren’t there he wouldn’t have even hesitated to send him away.
You looked out at the vast field of green that your animals seemed to love. It was quiet and peaceful in here. Only a few Puffskiens and Nifflers were left in this one as you were slowly moving more of the bigger animals into the other sanctuaries.
One of your niffler walked over to you quietly before settling next to your side. You watched him as more memories of Sebastian came to you.
He and this niffler became almost like best friends after meeting. Any time Sebastian was allowed into the room of requirement he would be holding the animal in his arms everywhere. He always had a gold chain on him so he could play with it.
You remembered him laughing softly at the niffler when he struggled to take the chain from Sebastian’s hands. In the moment the sun shone off his hair just right and he looked beautiful. So beautiful it made your heart stutter.
Now looking down at the niffler your tears started coming out faster until your shoulders were shaking from the sobs you were letting out. The niffler didn’t move even while you cried harder, he waited until you scooped him into your arms and cradled him gently. Tears still falling from your eyes.
“You miss him don’t you.” The animal only grabbed onto your hand softly and you took in a shaky breathe. “I do too.”
And you did. You missed both of them immensely. You weren’t sure when you started to feel like they were the only ones who mattered to you. When you realized you didn’t want to live without them.
In the past you didn’t know if you ever could go back to living without them. Without Sebastian’s constant jokes, without his laughter or smile that disappeared long ago. You didn’t know if you could live without the warmth he made you feel.
You didn’t know if you could live without Ominis’ charm, the way he would answer Sebastian in the most monotone sarcastic way. The way he would comfort you at any cost or the way he held you whenever he could sense you were upset. You didn’t know if you would live without that damned red glow from his wand that became a constant sight for you.
You hated this beyond measure. While you were here throwing yourself into dangerous situations, careless of what may become of you those two were on the road to recovery.
It didn’t matter that you didn’t know they were still very much on the outs with each other. All you knew was that you now saw them more and more together and it hurts.
You felt useless while still being very much useful.
The keepers wouldn’t let you forget that part.
It comes crawling back in like a page full of sin in your face.
You couldn’t tell if your heart stopped beating. You wished it had or would. He was dead. Professor Fig was dead.
You were on your knees staring down at him while he seemed to become paler and paler by the minute. He was holding his wife’s wand loosely in his hands.
The weight you felt on your shoulders was suddenly becoming suffocating. You saved the wizarding world but at what cost? You lost everything.
You heard several pairs of feet coming closer and closer while you could only hope they weren’t coming to kill you. Because you weren’t sure you could even fight back anymore.
They got even closer until you heard a soft voice. “Oh. Oh my dear.” It was professor Weasley along with all the other Professors who came to help you.
She walked to you slowly as if you were a scared, wounded animal she was trying to help. You supposed that was the best way you could describe yourself in this moment.
“Y/n.” Professor ronin muttered softly but you still couldn’t look up. You felt like if you did this would become all to real and you will lose Fig forever.
Professor fig was the only one who was on your side till the very end. Though he put immense pressure on you, you knew it was never his intention of doing so. He believed in the good you did, the good that was within you.
He would be so disappointed in you.
He didn’t know you learned the unforgivable curses. Not even at the end could you admit to him that you not only learned them, you used them against people. You didn’t want to admit that to him. You couldn’t see the disappointment in his eyes and you especially couldn’t let that be the last thing he felt as he died.
“Y/n.” Professor weasley layed a gentle hand on your shoulder, shaking you from your nightmare. It was then you realized you were covered in blood and so was Professor Fig. You couldn’t tell if it was your blood.
“I got blood on him.” You murmured and leaned forward to try and clean it off. Your eyes were blurry from tears and from dissociating. “I have to-I have-“
Professor Weasley was quick to stop your hands and gently bring them to her where she grabbed a cloth she had on her and started wiping at your hands. Albeit in vain and she knew that but you didn’t seem to realize it wasn’t helping so she continued while the other Professors were quick to tend to the body of the Professor who taught you everything.
“You did well my dear Y/n.” Weasley whispered and you started shaking your head, the tears falling.
“No.” You said while you dropped your head down. “No I didn’t do enough. I didn’t do-“ you heaved a breathe in. The pressure was crushing you it was rendering you useless. It felt like it was squeezing at your heart and your lungs. It felt like it was squeezing at anything and everything it could reach.
You couldn’t breathe.
“He would be disappointed in me.” You muttered. “I couldn’t- I couldn’t save him! I couldn’t save anyone! I shouldn’t have been given this power I don’t deserve it. He shouldn’t have died it should have been me! Why did he die?! Why was he here?! Why-?”
Your eyelids suddenly became really heavy and you slumped forward into Professor Weasleys arms. “It’s all going to be alright now. Just rest.” With your blurry vision you could just about make out the others looking at you with pure concern in their eyes then everything went dark.
When you woke next you were in the hospital wing staring up at the ceiling. Your head was pounding and you didn’t know if you could move a single muscle in your body.
“How is she today?” You heard someone ask, it sounded like Poppy.
Someone else sighed, “she hasn’t woken up yet but they suspect any minute now.” That sounded like Garreth. “Ominis came to see her for a few minutes last night. I don’t think he wanted anyone to see but I was already here.”
“And Sebastian?” Poppy asked but silence filled the air. “Garreth?”
“You think I’d let him see her?” He seethed out but Poppy didn’t put up much of a fight. She only sighed in exhaustion. “I wouldn’t if he did. He hasn’t come to see her. Last night was the first I’ve seen Ominis here.”
You felt your already shattered heart break just a little more at the knowledge. They hadn’t made an effort to see you.
The knowledge alone was enough for your world to come to a screeching halt as your heart finally caught up with your brain.
They wouldn’t come see you. They wouldn’t come speak with you. It was over. The era of your trio came to an end and it seemed the other two came to terms with that and started trying to pick up what pieces they could and those pieces didn’t include you.
The grief alone was enough to lull you back to sleep, missing the next conversation.
“They were beside themselves when they heard.” Imelda said from her place next to Poppy. “I think it took everything in them to leave her be and let her recover.”
“I agree.” Natty piped up. “I passed them in the halls and they both stopped me to see if I knew anything of her condition.”
“They’re all being very stupid. It’s obvious they miss each other, they just need to forget whatever happened between them.” Imelda said while she rolled her eyes though everyone could see the concern she held.
Garreth shook his head softly, “I only know very little about what happened but it’s not just something they can forgive and forget. I don’t think they’ll ever be the same.” Imelda turned to him quickly her gaze piercing.
“You know what happened?”
“Not much!” He held his hands up in defense. “Just that she knows some curses that she probably shouldn’t. She admitted it to me a few days after the falling out.”
“Let’s go Sebastian.” Ominis said from his place right outside the door. Sebastian was standing next to him, his gaze cast down to the floor. “She’s safe that’s all we need to know.”
“Right.” He knew Ominis didn’t mean it. He knew that he wanted to March in there the moment word got around about the fight you had. He wanted to do the same but they couldnt. Not now at least.
I swear giving up means so much more when you’ve fallen from grace.
you couldn’t feel anything anymore. Nothing. You couldn’t feel the dark atmosphere that seemed to surround the school after you were finally allowed to leave the hospital wing the day after you woke up.
You couldn’t feel it in the reassuring looks the teachers gave you when they said you could have an extension on your work. You couldn’t feel it in the soft touches your friends gave you when you seemed too far away for them to reach when you were only in the dark corners of your mind.
You couldn’t feel it in Professor Figs classroom that was now left vacant for the time being and then closed off to you when Professor Weasley saw you in there for hours at a time.
You couldn’t even seem to feel anything as you sat in the great hall for figs funeral. You could tell that people were staring at you, to many for you to decipher who.
Everyone was worried about you that much was obvious. But there was nothing you could do to reassure them you were okay, because you weren’t. Not in the slightest.
While everyone was trying their best to move on, something you knew deep down you had to do as well, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave everything in the past behind.
You couldn’t bring yourself to accept that Ominis and Sebastian were gone. You couldn’t accept that your favorite teacher died in your arms only a few days prior.
You felt a soft touch on your hand, gaining your attention. It was Garreth. He was pointing to the front where Professor Weasley was taking over for the headmaster.
Good. You thought. The headmaster has never said a nice thing about anyone in his entire life. Weasley would at least honor him.
Though you tried your best you couldn’t really process the words coming from her mouth or the way she looked to you when she said some of them.
She never out right said how you and he were the ones to save Hogwarts but she said it in her gaze. Everyone already knew too.
When everyone started to stand to raise their glasses in the air to honor Professor Fig you stood as well but you didn’t raise the glass. You stared at it in your hands the noises around you started to sound further away.
You could hear Garreth mutter your name quietly before it felt like all reality hit you like a ton of bricks to the face. Quickly you set the glass down and made your way out of the great hall
The opening and closing of the door was like a bomb going off in the deafening silence that surrounded the room.
Whispers immediately started and Garreth was quick to set his glass down and chase after you, also trying to be quiet.
“What’s happened?” Ominis asked urgently
“Y/ns just walked out. Garreth went after her.” Imelda informed him and Ominis set his own glass down to pick up his wand.
He turned his head slightly to address Sebastian who was next to him. “We have to go after her.” He muttered and Sebastian gave him an incredulous look, one Ominis could practically feel.
“Ominis-“
“Sebastian.” Ominis eyes narrowed sharply. “We can’t just leave her.”
After just a second longer Sebastian finally agreed and set his cup down. They along with Natty and Poppy were leaving the great hall.
“Everyone please stay in your seats!” Professor Weasley called while she too made her way out to find where you all went.
It was raining outside. You hadn’t been aware it was raining. How appropriate.
You had ran until you reached doors leading you outside to where the summoners court was. It was too much. Everything was too much.
You didn’t want this to be the end. It couldn’t be. But it was and you knew it was. You lost three of the most important people in your life. Two of them very much alive but moving on without you, leaving you behind to clean up all the messes. Then the other was dead and you would never see him again. Never be able to go to him for advice.
You were already soaking, your hair was sticking to your face and neck, your clothes started clinging to your body but you didn’t care because when you looked down all you could see was the blood on your hands. Figs blood.
You wiped your hands on your clothes but it wouldn’t come off. You wiped and wiped until your hands were red and it was then you realized you had been crying too. God you wished you would just stop crying.
You felt like you were losing it. Like you were going crazy because how could any sane person be okay when they have their mentor die in their arms.
“Y/n” Garreth finally caught up to you and you looked at him with a far away look in your eyes. “Y/n come inside you’re soaked.”
“Garreth am I a good person?” His eyes narrowed in confusion.
“Of course you are.” You didn’t seem to believe him and kept rubbing your hands. “Please stop. You’re hurting yourself.”
He gently grabbed your hands in his and you had a sudden flashback of Professor Weasley doing the same until she put you to sleep. You flinched away from him and his arms fell back to his side.
When you looked at him there was nothing but understanding in them. Not even an ounce of hurt. It made you feel worse. You stood there standing in the rain, staring at one of the last people who still stood supportively behind you.
“Please come inside.” He asked again, this time getting more desperate. It made you wonder if he saw something in your gaze. Something unpredictable that made him worry he was about to lose you. “We can get you dried off and get you some warm food just come back inside.”
The doors opened again and everyone else started barreling out. “Y/n!” Poppy shouted, shielding her eyes from the harsh rain. “Please let us help you!”
You continued to watch Garreth before you turned your head to look out at Hogwarts. “I’m tired.” You whispered
“I know I know” Garreth desperately grabbed your shoulders. His gaze now filled with heartbreak like he knew what was about to happen. “Please I’m begging you come inside we can get you warm clothes and you can sleep all you want.”
You just seemed to stare through him and in his desperation he turned to the last two people he wanted to see. “Please! Ominis! Sebastian! Do something” your eyes widened and you turned your head to look at them as they stepped through the two girls and closer to you.
“Y/n. Please you’re going to get sick.” It was just like Ominis to say. He was trying to downplay how serious this situation was in hopes to get your mind to downplay whatever it was coming up with. “Just come inside.”
You could hear the pleading in his soft voice and it made you ache. Your eyes fell on Sebastian who still hadn’t said anything. You both seemed to have a staring contest until he finally opened his mouth.
“I’m sorry, Y/n.” You didn’t know if you could cry more then you were in that moment. But it didn’t matter.
You looked him dead in the eyes just as Professor Weasley found her way outside. “I’m tired of fighting.” You said while you grabbed your wand. It was so fast and sudden that nobody was prepared to stop you.
The moment your hand wrapped around your wand you apparated away, leaving all of them in stunned silence. They all stared at the spot you once were not a single one of them moving a muscle.
In the end, one way or another you all come to the conclusion that it was over.
This is the end.
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