#i wish i could sing boy bye but they're all women

[laputaindefrenchgirl]

hellos and goodbyes.

These days, writing is all about gut wrenching pieces and I guess it is what it is. I feel like there’s something I should have done a long time ago, which is saying goodbyes to people who left me. Losing friends is part of the process called “life” and I played the game, being a good soldier and all. But for the past two months, it’s been clear that I am currently at one of the major crossroad of my life, and I think it’s time for me to let go and say goodbye to some. Here we go.

M- you supported me when I was having one of the toughest, most miserable minutes of my life. I remember the great laughs we had, how for almost two years we sent each others incredible exchanges through whatsapp, and how we had crushes on the same actors. You are one of the persons that I had the most fun with, and I genuinely thought I didn't expect anything from you. But when we were supposed to meet for real, you didn’t show up, and the few faith or trust I had left crumbled down because you were there, each nights, until you weren’t. No explanations except that time healed that wound and I hope you’re happy, whoever you are today. 

M- god, you were my best-friend. I thought we were the same, being aries and bold like that. The minute you took off to NY, you literally flew from my life. I wasn’t being honest with myself thinking it was alright before you left. But the distance made it obvious. Now, you’re building a family and you’re still vibrant, beautiful. I’m not angry anymore. It’s just sometimes, I wonder why I ever thought we were the same, because we are not. Definitely not. I guess I’m still fucking naive and loyal to the ones I trust, which are few. We are both stubborn assholes. We just took different roads, and I don’t regret a single thing, even being your best-friend for a decade, even if it means that I was alone.

B- you’re the definition of a troubled girl. I never judged you and I still don’t. Something must have happened, something out of my fucking control, and you decided to suddenly never ever talk to me again. We had fun, and we grew to be better versions of ourselves together, I believe. I hope you find what you are looking for your heart in South America or wherever you feel like you want to explore. B, if you ever read this, trust me, you’ll be happy and free. Never stop believing that the better is yet to come. I’ll believe it for you if you can’t.

E- i thought you were my soulmate. I’m stupid like that. And I think you broke me a little bit. My therapist said that the text you sent me, my emotional answer to it, it was a sort of break-up. You were the only damn person I thought with utterly confidence that I would attend the wedding of, hold your baby one day or just be friends forever. I respected you the hardest. I loved you so much, because you were always there in a miles away kind of logic, but still. You knew my shit. You quoted me Charles Xavier ou Tyrion Lannister when I was feeling down. You loved ART and always had the most classy sense of everything. Then, suddenly, you’re not here anymore. Would I not have a sense of my worth and my dignity, I don’t know... I’m a fucking queen. I’m royalty. Maybe I saw a lie where I wanted to see respect, or a meaningful friendship. I don’t know anymore the value about what we had, but for sure I know my own value. I think that kind of way, I’ll forever miss you. It’s new for me, to feel that way about someone. But I’ll learn and I’ll grow, and this is my goodbye to you.

Now it’s written, I can emotionally move on. I did move on, don’t get me wrong. I feel like Robyn from High Fidelity! I did not make a playlist about them though so I guess it’s alright. But all these people did not let me have actual conversations to ask whys and hows. So this is how I break the wheel and fucking do my thing. 

-Audrey

#writing positive shit #or writing goodbyes letters #ex friends #time to say goodbye #i wish i could sing boy bye but they're all women #high fidelity mood #heartbreaks #tough times #loneliest #i'm still loving life #time to move on #be you #audrey

[innerquotesbtsegg]

•Alpah's Fire•

•Rachel Fawn Hunter The Alpha's Daughter•

~~

Full Name: Rachel Fawn Hunter.

Age: 17.

Wolf: black alpha wolf - half phoenix.

Zodiac: leo.

Parent's names: Blake James Hunter & Angelina Marie Hunter.

Nationality: american.

Sexuality: bisexual.

Children: Alice & Jacob Hunter.

Brothers: Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook, Jin and Taehyung.

Abilities: combat and fire.

Spouse: Samuel Winchester Adler.

Living: Los Angeles.

Personality/described: loyal, faithful, self confidence, brave, troubled, crazy, rebellious, protective, violent, full of wisdom, a fighter, warrior, low self esteem, supportive, insecure, worries easily for her people, a joker, adorable, a natural beauty, easily hides her emotions, a good person, caring, funny, loving, a good sister/mother, honest, flirty.

Nicknames: wolfie/dog - huntress - blondie - bitch/whore - the alpha's daughter - kid/kiddo - girl on fire - faithful companion - lone wolf - queen of assholes/queen of the world - woman of the world - eagle-eye - buttercup - girlfriend - bulldog - beautiful - lioness - butterface - fawn - Mom.

~~~

"Your insane!"

"Yeah, that's the best part!"

~~~

"Alright Negan.."

~~~

"Bye bye, amigos!"

~~~

"You better watch your mouth there, girly."

~~~

"Oh yeah, you think your funny?"

"I think I'm adorable."

~~~

"What're you talking about? My taste in music is better than yours!"

~~~

"Come on! Think your Nathan Drake!"

~~~

"Go to hell.."

"Been there- actually! Me and lucifer get along!"

~~~

"Here, stick your dick on those blades and see what happens!"

~~~

"Hate me for who I am, I don't care."

"Love your haters -they're your biggest fans!"

"The only way to succeed is to make people hate you."

~~~

"I care, only for my brothers. Nobody else."

~~~

"Que te jodan." - Go screw yourself in Spanish.

~~~

"Who do you put first?"

"My brothers."

~~~

"If you ever hurt my boys, I will mess you up."

~~~

"I know.. I know In a terrible sister- I wanted to protect you from them even myself.. I- I care you so much. I hope you know that.."

~~~

"You boys are still the same."

~~~

"I'm with someone- oh hey! That's him! Hey brother!"

~~~

"We all have parts that scare us."

~~~

"I'm still learning to love myself.. it's hard.."

~~~

"I'm so proud of you, boys."

~~~

"No one puts me first!"

~~~

"I don't care what happens to me, I never really have. But I do care about what happens to my brothers."

~~~

"If anything happens to my brothers, I will tear you apart and rip you're heart out.."

~~~

"I've hurted the people I love and I mess things up easily. I try to make things right, nobody knew what I went through making me the way I am.. sometimes I wish I could be a better person like I was before."

~~~

"My parents got killed right in front of my eyes at age of eight, got adopted at the age of 14- I grew up with my brothers trying to make me a better person, they loved me no matter what. A fire started and but me and my brothers survived.. our parents. They died making me leave my brothers behind. He wanted me to suffer because of what my biological parents did terrible.. so, he wanted me to go through what he went through.. great, isn't it? Losing every one you loved and cared for just leave you?"

~~~

"She's the Alpha's daughter; she spits fire. Gets aggressive like a hungry wolf, her heart is cold as ice as she plays people's heads like a deck of cards with her gun next to her. But.. the more you know her and be on her side the most- then she'll treat you like a sister or a mother would do like she is with her older brothers- she's just.. been through some dark times in the past and its better not to question her, I'm warning you. Only her brothers and her trusted pack know not strangers.. but.. she has a soft spot for you.. you must remind her of someone she loved so much."

~~~

"I would see her playing her guitar in the balcony every night when the stars come out and she'll just stare at them while playing. I would see one her brother's sitting next to her and sing a song with the guitar then.. I'll see her warm smile like we never seen her smile so like that; its always been a grin or a smirk."

~~~

"She's a lone wolf; we call her that everytime she comes here at this bar. Sometimes with her brothers, she's a smart and loyal kid. I just hope she'll won't be like her parents when she grows up.."

~~~

"She's a Phoenix, she'd rised before and she'll rise again!"

~~~

"She was a sweet and innocent girl back then, she's still is but she intends to hide it."

"Why?"

"She's scared of losing people who are close to her, she's lost both of her parents, her friends and almost her brothers. She's doesn't want to lose anyone she cares about."

~~~

"She may be a strong, confident and independent woman, but deep down; she's broken and fragile. She's been through hell and back."

"Yet, she's still walking. You didn't break her darling, you don't own that kind of power she holds."

~~~

"She likes you.."

"How do you know she does?"

"I don't know, its just the way she looks you? I've never seen her look at anyone like that."

~~~

"I uhh, y-you're really strong.."

"Thank you very much."

"Yeah, can you.. let go of my neck please?"

"Crap! Sorry!"

~~~

"Sam..."

"You ok, Rache? What's wrong?"

"I.. I think I'm pregnant.."

~~~

"Guys, before you kill Sam. It was technically my fault.."

"Rache, it wasn't."

~~~

"If you lay a finger on her, you and you're friends are dead."

~~~

"I had great dream; I was in my wedding dress with my aunt and uncle crying of joy when they saw it.. and Alice in a beautiful tiny glittery blue dress. Then, I walked down the aisle with my brother's as we cried.. then.. I saw Sam in that suit he was dying to wear someday.. god, it was good dream. I kinda wished I didn't wake up from it."

"That sounds like a great dream."

~~~

“Be loyal to what matters.”

~~~

“Vengeance is an idiot's game.”

~~~

"Just do one thing or the other, don't try to be two people at once.."

~~~

"We can’t change what's done, we can only move on."

~~~

"You're the only one of these fools that I trust,"

~~~

"Look, I wanna die. Besides, those sons of bitches don't look that tough,"

~~~

"Come on out Magnus! At least die like a man!"

~~~

"Aside from my Samuel, you're the best man I know, I know the company you keep, the competition ain't too fierce,"

~~~

"I ain't afraid of dyin'."

~~~

"Nobody's taking nothing from me ever again." 

~~~

“I know self defense and I will shove my Louboutins so far up your ass.”

~~~~

“You know I can charm the pants off of anyone.”

~~~

“I run this town."

~~~

"She gets everything she wants and she doesn't care what she hurts in the process!"

~~~

"I can't believe how rich she is, now I know why people think she is a little selfish."

~~~

“You can date whoever you wanna date. Not Samuel.”

~~~

“You wanna gaslight me? I’ll set the gasoline on fire.”

~~~

“I am sick and tired of being used by miserably ungrateful men.”

~~~

“Look, the fantasy where you’re smart, funny, and appealing to women only exists on your laptop.”

~~~

“How many men do I need to say this to? I don’t need your protection!”

~~~

"Where's my goddamn brothers?! Where are they? They took them didn't they? They took my brothers!"

~~~

"Let go of me, you bitch!"

"You grabbed first!"

~~~

"It's alright miss, you'll be okay. We'll take care of you. We're not bad people."