demon girl tina who shaves her horns down, who tries to be everything a demon isn’t. never angry, never pressed, sweet and easygoing. perfect in every sense of the term. who’s traumatized from purgatory, who’s afraid of losing what she loves as much as she’s afraid of being shunned by who she loves for what she is. for all the imperfections that fracture her perfect image. who craves trust, a place to belong, the secret of who she is just bubbling under the surface, shaved down and hidden just underneath the cat ears she wears.
human girl bagi who embraces imperfection, who loves with loyalty and longevity. who would go to the ends of the earth for her loved ones, knowing their worst sins, their terrible crimes, and going I will love you anyway. I will be there for you anyway. who’s best friend is a demon, who she knows is a demon, who she met at his worst, and wouldn’t let him go through it alone. who understands the importance of secrets, which means she knows the value of honesty, and is ready to lay out all her truths once she cares about someone enough, trusts them enough.
tina getting flighty and nervous when she’s told that it’s love what bagi feels - not because she doesn’t feel the same, but because she does, and it’s all she’s ever wanted, and isn’t that just terrifying? because she doesn’t think she fully deserves it. not yet at least! and she doesn’t want to lose it. imperfect, clumsy, secretly a demon tina, still processing purgatory and everything that came before, so afraid because she believes she can’t measure up. once she’s worked on herself, once she’s perfect, she says. once she stops panicking at purgatory flashbacks, once she stops losing her temper, once she can provide stability, once she’s shaved her horns and they stop growing back - then she’ll be ready. as soon as she’s made herself into something easily lovable.
bagi listens to tina as she spills some of this to her, under the moonlight along the beach. not quite all her worries, but some, just like she had given not quite her whole heart, but a part of it, in that room that represents bagi’s mind. and bagi doesn’t press for more than what she’ll give, because she cherishes what has been given already, because she’s in no rush and has no where else to go, because above all else, she’s in love and willing to wait. and in the meantime, she’ll reassure tina that she doesn’t want perfection - she just wants tina the way she is.
Forever’s song prank is pretty funny and it’s amazing how great Bad is at triangulating the locations but also the root of this is exactly the reason why Bad removed Forever’s access to his base. Like. This is the second time he’s falsely accused him of stealing and immediately punished him for it, not giving a shit about what he says. He actively refuses to apologize for jailing him the first time. It’s so interesting seeing how Forever was the ONLY person who had access to Bad’s original underground base, the one he left bc vegetta put a camera in it, and now, out of the people Bad consider’s a close friend, he’s the ONLY one who doesn’t have access to his current base. He’s the ONLY one to have been removed. No one has utterly shattered Bad’s trust as much as Forever has.
i read someone saying how yesterday pepito was happy because he finally is bonding with q!roier and that makes my chest hurt because a lot of people said “oh, he’s just a replacement of bobby for q!roier” and let me tell you; no, he’s not, your thinking too low.
q!roier loves people and creates a special relationship with them, filled with nicknames, jokes, constant present, little details that he can remember at the time, the way he loves richas is different from how he loves bobby but is not better or worst, that’s why you can see how badly affected him when he lost them, not just his first child but the second one that is not fully his (from what he says about being his stepfather and not father), with pepito, he’s just scared to create a bond special as them.
he’s being mean as a copy mechanism, waiting if he can take care but stopping himself from being too special with the kid, in his words, he’s tired of being attached with those eggs and then feeling his life falling apart when they disappear. is not about having a favorite son, for him, is about not being in a vicious circle, having his heart always crushed down.
but jokes on him, he’s already loving that kid way more than he expected, sharing about his past life even if he feels at his worst now, making pepito help him with a whole city for bobby, visiting richas, talking about his desire of being with q!cellbit again.
This is actually a bit of a spoiler for like a monkey pilot but I just really find the idea cute so I'm sharing it now to bust my mood...
When Jake and Bradley were together the first time, Jake called Bradley baby or, if teasing, sweetheart and Bradley called Jake honey.
After they meet again at Top Gun, Jake quickly realizes that Maverick calls Bradley baby, too, because he's always going to be Mav's baby boy. Which is cute but also makes Jake feel really weird about calling Bradley baby again.
And he's thinking what he can call Bradley while they're lying in bed and Bradley is like a giant teddy bear, with very huggable arms and cuddling anything within his reach in his sleep. Hence Bradley Bear.
And he swears he didn't do it on purpose but the squad does tease them about them being the 'bear and his honey'.
Octavio Paz, The Art of Poetry No. 42 (interviewed by Alfred Mac Adam)
[Text ID: “INTERVIEWER: Is this why the language of mysticism is so erotic?
PAZ: Yes, because lovers, which is what the mystics are, constitute the greatest image of communion. But even between lovers solitude is never completely abolished. Conversely, solitude is never absolute. We are always with someone, even if it is only our shadow. We are never one—we are always we. These extremes are the poles of human life.”]
loving the red team villain arc btw. Not saying Bad didn't start it with the attacking first day and then spawn killing Jaiden, but now they're after blue blood, any kind! They were hanging out with Tina yesterday but today she's getting killed along with Rivers just to teach Bad a lesson and try and pin the blame on him, because if Bad had just 'delivered' Pac (which is also interesting the way they're talking like this isn't on pac to come it's on Bad to give Pac to them) then they would not have killed Rivers OR Tina.
It's really creepy and I love it <3 Even Phil, I knew he wasn't trusting anyone and was on 'not helping anyone mode' and I knew they all were against Bad but seeing him be the one saying to Rivers to blame Bad and antagonizing him was something.
And green is seemingly on Red's side too, when they were on VC and Fit just said something and then left and didn't interact with Pac at all there? And Bagi laughing and encouraging a fight and not really interacting with Pac either?
btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.
it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'
and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.
and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.
like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.
hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.
[Image description: A text-post, edited to remove much of the original text. Resulting text is punctuated with sketch-style illustration and reads, "we say: 'take responsibility.' protect trannies. resist!"]
---
we say: "take responsibility."
protect trannies
resist!
I just think Tallulah gets to be upset about this. “It’s not Wilbur’s fault” “He’s not a bad dad” “He loves his daughter so much” yes! These are all true! And it’s not his fault! But he’s still not there. And Tallulah has gone through so much and still hasn’t seen him, the one time he was around was the one time she wasn’t, and all she has are letters and “I’m thinking of you always” and things that used to be theirs together, but he’s still not there. She’s waited and she’s been patient and she’s loved him all the same, and he’s still not there. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, from the happy milestones to the traumatic events, he’s still not there.
She knows that it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s absent. That in and of itself just adds to the sorrow, because she knows why he’s gone, and she’s been told time and time again it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, she knows this - it doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, that it doesn’t hurt, that she doesn’t yearn for her father to be there more than anything in the world, and he’s just not there.
So yes, she gets to be upset, and be caustic, and stomp her feet and write bitter messages, and be angry and vitriolic, because she’s a little girl missing her father, who feels things with her whole heart and soul - and that means she gets to feel the ugly parts of it, too.
q!tubbo was so mucu happier and dping so much better today! like he worked on the storage system (something that reminded him of tubchunk), he jmhung out with both q!pac and q!fit after a while and stayed with them, he and q!foolish along with sunny ran dungeons with crazy loot, the bunny guy was a fun and imteresting interaction that also spawned in an idea and a possibility of workijg with the federation for it.
its all going well for him!!
....
although...
going from being lost and despairing just yesterday to being in a much better mood today, it could just be that maybe things are feeling more normal.
but also, a not-so-common but hard to spot sign that someone is suicidal and its concerning is when they suddenly appear to be in a better mood and almost have a second wind.....
not saying thats whats happening but.... its what i thought of....