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sttoru · 7 months

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⟣ tags. gojo satoru x reader. angst. major character death. jjk 236. no comfort because i like to hurt myself mentally. mentions of death and blood. megumi mention.

⟣ note. nothing just tears and agony. no i actually cried making this, couldn’t proofread through my tears.

the sky was pretty. pretty as it always has been. maybe even prettier now that satoru’s realised how free he is.

looking up at the limitless sky, the overflow of blue, the crispness of the air — a needed moment of peace.

the ground was harsh. a contrast to the sky. as was the silence around him; the only sounds being his shallow breathing and the debris crumbling in the area.

the warmth radiating from his body was still there. faintly, but there. he wondered if you were there with him. he couldn’t tell — his senses were dulled. his icy lashes covering most of his vision, his sky-like eyes only seeing what’s above.

maybe you were with him. not physically, but mentally. you’ve been looking at him. . . at least, that’s what satoru hopes. he hopes that you’ve seen him fight. he hopes that you found him cool. perhaps even handsome with that blood on his face. you always told him he was pretty no matter what — satoru hopes you still do even in this state of his.

satoru hopes you don’t find him to be weak. he hopes you saw everything; how he fought until the end. how he fulfilled his duty as the strongest.

satoru hopes you don’t hate him for this. it’s the last thing he wants; for his loved one to despise him whilst he’s on his way up that staircase, leading him to the friends he’s lost. he’s leaving you behind—that much was true—but, if he had a choice, he wouldn’t go.

satoru hopes you know he has no say over his fate. if he could fight death itself, he would do it twice; one time for you, the other for himself. that way you could be together forever.

with his students; the little boy he has to yet tell the truth to. megumi.

satoru blinks once. that action by itself taking a toll on his body. everything was numb, yet everything hurt.

he wishes you were there for him. maybe hold him one last time in your embrace whilst his soul departs. he doesn’t like it—feeling the warmth in his own body slowly dissappear. he wishes you were hugging him now, so that at least he could leave this world in warmth — your warmth. your comfort.

not this cold air. the cold breeze. the cold fate. the cold death.

a voice interrupts his dying thoughts of you. a voice satoru knows. it was muffled. his eyes glance at the source; megumi. in his dying moments, he doesn’t see him as sukuna anymore. even if there wasn’t a glance of megumi in that body towering over his.

it was still his little boy. the boy he watched grow up — the boy he fed and clothed. the boy he had tons of memories with. the boy you and him had trained to be such a powerful sorcerer.

satoru smiles. not at whatever sukuna had said. but because even in his last moments, he’s proud. proud of all of his accomplishments. he’s been a good friend to his classmates, he’s been a good mentor to his students and he’s been a good lover to you. that’s all that matters now.

regrets are in the past.

satoru hopes you will remember him. he hopes that everyone will remember him for who he was. not only as the strongest or the honoured on — no, as his own person excluding all his abilities and powers.

those mean nothing now that he’s taking his last breath. all which holds value are the memories he’s made along the many years he spent together with everyone.

those are all that matter now. and those are all that will be left of him.

the last thing he imagined was you. talking to him.

his heartbeat slowed to a stop, the last gasp of breath left his lungs, the vision of the endless sky being enveloped by a darkness he’s afraid of;

though, his fears were thrown away by his own brain, which worked hard at its last moments — to create a voice that sounded like yours — to soothe himself before meeting his end;

you did well, satoru. it’s time to rest.

#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader #gojo x reader #jjk fic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x reader #uhm okay i think this was a bit .. LMAOO I CRIED #jjk spoilers #jjk leaks #gojo x you #jjk x you #jjk

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inevesgf · 2 months

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SKI TRIP .. part one ⠀,⠀ chrismd.

synopsis ✩ you and chris hate each other, but a ski trip and some forced proximity changes everything.

warnings: gn!reader, drinking, series

authors note: a chrismd series! this isn’t my favorite piece of writing of all time, but i just needed to push out more chris content for myself and the other chris girlies out there. consider this little series my petition to be your favorite chrismd writer <3 thank you to @imredjack for the idea xx

THE FLIGHT TO FRANCE WAS A BREEZE: no turbulence, no boarding issues — you couldn’t have been more lucky. the crisp, cold air coveted your skin like a blanket as you exited the airport, scanning your new surroundings. even though you lived in europe and traveled around surrounding areas, you had never been to france. you liked the uk — if it were up to you, you’d never leave forever, though a holiday was pleasant once in awhile.

“bonjour,” you were greeted by your friend, george clarke, who spoke thickly with a fake french accent. you couldn’t help but let out a giggle as he spoke. you were surprised to find yourself in the position you were in. you didn’t know that helping george plan a trip with your mutual friends would result in you being invited. you had known this group of boys for years. being a friend of george’s since primary school, you became a videographer for him once he started his youtube career. because of this, you had become close with the others; the arthur’s, harry, will — the list went on. with your experience with social media, you had been a help to all of them with occasionally manning the camera. “comment vas-tu en cette belle soirée?” the teasing back from you made george roll his eyes. “ok — ok, i dont know that much!” as you laughed at his response, you found your thoughts slipping. the first glimpse you had seen of the french alps were gorgeous, but you still couldn’t help but feel awkward. as you scanned around, george and arthur in view, your eyes landed on chris. christopher dixon was something else. if it was up to him, you wouldn’t have been invited on this trip. but it was up to his best mate, george, and what george said goes.

chris was not fond of you in anyway possible and you were not fond of him. nothing particular had happened between you two, but the hateful tension always remained. you had heard from the other boys that chris hadn’t talked the best of you; always commenting on your clothing style and such in odd ways; but you didn’t let that bother you. instead, trying to keep the bond strong between all your friends, you never confronted him about it — the pity feelings you had between each other were mutual. piling into the taxi that would take you to your hotel, you sat yourself next to arthurtv who greeted you with a smile. you were far more fond of arthur and george and that thought made you mentally pray you’d be roommates with them for the holiday.

the taxi came to a stop, the driver tipping his hat at you as you slipped a fiver into his tip cup. once again the new feelings of the french air tickled your skin as you exited, george handing you your luggage that he had pulled out of the trunk. “alright,” george pulled out several room keys from his pocket, preparing to distribute them among the others. “this one’s for arthur(tv) and i — harry and arthur,” george handed harry the room key, “and chris and y.n—“ a cheeky smile formed on his face, making your eyes twitch. george knew that you and chris despised each other — you knew him rooming you with chris was all apart of some fucked up plan. “thanks—“ you were short as you snatched the key out of his hand. “can i room with arthur instead? please?“ that jersey accent had almost made you vomit as he spoke. “be nice to them, ok? c’mon, you both have a lot in common and i’m sure by the end of this trip you’ll be good friends!” george didn’t sound so sure of his words, he just hoped and prayed chris would give you the benefit of a doubt and not kill you.

you trudded your way up the stairs, reading the room numbers on the door as you and chris approached yours. you couldn’t help but mentally curse george for what he had done; later you were sure to say something to him, but for now you just had to make this work. you inserted the key into the door, twisting the doorknob. to your dismay, the door did not open and you found yourself standing there somehow even more stupid in-front of chris. before you could go to try the doorknob one more time, chris grumbled, nudging you out of the way as he twisted the doorknob. to your frustration, it opened with the first turn. “it’s really not that hard, innit?” chris opened the door as he spoke. “look — can we please just spare each other a bloody second? ok, we’re on holiday, yeah? we’re supposed to relax. i think me and you can lay off each for a week.” you didn’t mean to snap, but it happened, causing chris to stop dead in his tracks as he stepped into the room. “ok, yeah sure, but if you so much as set me off one time, this isn’t going to be easy for us.” you didn’t know what he truly meant, but you didn’t care. you pushed yourself passed chris and fully into the room, this time you being the one to stop dead in your tracks. “are you fucking kidding me right now? do you see this? those fucking basterds,” to your surprise, and chris’ as well, there was only one bed. you practically vomited at the thought of having to share a space with him and a bed was even worse. “is this your doing?” you couldn’t help but be even more irritated by his words. “really? you think i’d arrange this? why don’t you ask the boys? maybe they think you fancy me or something and are doing you a favor.” you had seemingly set chris off, but he tried to contain himself. “you wanna know what? you can sleep on the chair, i’ll sleep on the bed — problem solved.” he walked himself into the room, placing his luggage onto the bed. “yeah, right.” you rolled your eyes. “why can’t we just share the bed? we’ll have separate blankets — everything will be fine as long as you don’t touch me.” you spoke. chris shot you a glare, pulling his luggage off the bed, now placing it on the floor. “fine, but just this once.”

you had seemingly sorted out the room problem with chris, but that did not stop you from scolding george later that night at dinner. “why’d you do that? are you trying to ruin this holiday?” your words were more playful as you tried not to upset george — more issues were the last thing you needed right now. “im doing you a favor, ok? this will be good for all of us. you’ll finally work things out with him and then we’ll all be best mates.” he tried to laugh through your frustration, which only made him nervous about what he had done. “if this only makes things worse, i know who to blame.” “—blame me too!” you look over at harry whose normal resting face was replaced with a big grin. “you cheeky basterd.” was all you managed to get out before the waiter came over with the check.

the night had passed swiftly. you and chris had went the rest of the night without communicating much, which was good for the both of you. chris and yourself entered your shared hotel room, slightly drunk as you sat down on the bed. “remember our deal — we each get our own side of the bed.” he spoke, pulling his shirt off and throwing it to the side. you found yourself staring at him a bit too long; studying each line of his abs. as much as you hated chris, you acknowledged he was good looking, but you wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that. unfortunately chris seemed to notice this, which caused him to furrow his brows. “take a picture, it’ll last longer.” his teasing made you roll your eyes — you were sure not to fall for it. “in your dreams.” you didn’t know if it was the alcohol making you think this way, but you hoped it was. even though you should have looked away, you studied chris carefully as he put on a clean top. shaking yourself out of these thoughts, you reminded yourself of the distaste you had for him — the way he’d say odd things about you behind your back, the way he couldn’t stand to even be in your presence. you found yourself calming back into your little world where a pleasent thought of chris did not exist.

once it came time to sleep, you could see the disgust on chris’ face as he climbed into your shared bed. as much as you hated you had to be in the same vicinity as him, you didn’t think it was the biggest deal in the world. “do you snore?” he asked, as he pulled the blanket over his legs. “nope, i bet you do.” chris rolled his eyes, a slight huff escaping his lips as he rolled over, his back facing you. you took this as a sign turn off the beside lamp and get yourself situated to sleep. no thoughts of sharing a bed with chris bothered you as you drifted off to sleep.

“so, how was last night?” george asked you, a teasing manner slipping from his lips even though he tried to contain himself. “what? you think we’re just going to fuck and get over things? you’re sick.” you weren’t completely serious, or mad at george, but you wanted him to know his little plan wouldn’t work out as well he thought it would. you scooped yourself some eggs from the hotel’s breakfast, grabbing yourself a fork before sitting down next to harry. similar to george, he began to bombard you with questions. “didn’t make up yet?” he raised his eyebrows, pulling a scoop of hash-browns to his mouth as he took a bite. “no, and unlike george, i don’t think it’s going to happen.” “why can’t you guys just fuck already?” your eyes darted over the table, raising an eyebrow at arthur’s sudden proposal. you practically spit out your bite of eggs at his words. “cmon, don’t laugh. you have so much sexual tension, we can all feel it.” you laughed. you had noticed chris glancing at you plenty of times before, shifting his eyes away the second you noticed. you noticed how he’d tease you — but again, you just expected it was because of his distaste for you. “oh sure,” you added sarcastically, taking a sip of apple juice as chris joined the table. you mentally prayed not another word would be said in that conversation, especially because chris was now present. “so,” arthur hill began to speak, setting his fork down next to his plate, “what’s the plan for today, georgie?”“well, we’re going to hit the slopes, of course. there’s also this little gig playing tonight at one of the hotels pubs — i was thinking we could go to that.” george responded. “good, i could use a fucking drink already.” chris perked up at the idea of a bar, and drinks at that, which made you laugh. “what? is having to share a room with y.n that bad?” arthur laughed. chris seemed hesitant to answer, which confused you a little as he was always quick to make you the bud of his joke. “it’s been a long week — well needed holiday.” his response seemed to confuse everyone at the table as george looked over at you, cockily raising his eyebrow. you knew his plan had a very generous slim shot at working, but chris seemed to be becoming more lenient on you — at least this morning. which made you question if chris had woken up on the right side of the bed this morning.

you and the group spent most of the day skiing and snowboarding — you skiing as it was always easier to you. it was a fun day; full of laughs, and you got to spend most of it away from chris which couldn’t have been better. “i dont think it even matters how many layers i have on, i’m freezing.” arthur shivered, wrapping his arms around himself as tight as he could to maintain some warmth. “it’s getting late now,” george spoke, checking his watch. it was now half past 5 and you were shocked once you put together that the six of you had been out in the snow for almost 8 hours. “the gig starts around 6, if we stop here we’ll have some time to get ready and warm up before then.” everyone seemed to agree with george’s idea and began to unwind. once getting back to the shack, everyone undressed themselves from their snow gear and laid it up to dry in lockers they had rented for the week.

you and chris made your way back to your hotel room again, not speaking to each other along the way. once you entered, chris wasted no time in preparing himself for the night — dousing himself in cologne and fixing his curled hair to the best of his abilities. he was one to dress casual, but he had caught your eye once he exited the bathroom dressed in something more put together. head to toe in black, chris wore black slacks and a black t shirt, which had you looking at him far more than you liked to admit. chris didn’t seem to notice as he walked around you, grabbing his phone before he sat down on one of the lounge chairs in the room. now having an idea of what the ‘dress code’ was for the evening, you began to get yourself dressed.

it never took you long to get ready — you had taken about 10 minutes this time — which still had chris’ panties in a bunch. a knock erupted on the bathroom door, causing you to huff slightly. “are you done in there? its almost 6, i’m going to leave without you.” you checked yourself out in the mirror one more time before opening the door, meeting face to face with the boy. chris stood there, your faces close to each other. you couldn’t help but feel annoyed as you noticed him studying you. “i was in there for 10 minutes, don’t get your panties in a twist, mate.” he scoffed, backing away from you which eliminated the noticeable tension. pushing passed him slightly, you grabbed your phone and had made your way to the door. chris took his fine time getting his shoes on as you did, which made you laugh at him softly. “look who’s taking a long time now.” “you just can’t be nice to me, can you?“ you scoffed, placing your hand on the doorknob behind you as you stayed facing chris. “i could say the same thing to you — haven’t shut your mouth since we got here. hell, you even objected to being roommates with me.” chris huffed under his breath, standing up from his once seated position. the vibes in the room shifted, but you couldn’t tell what you were feeling now. chris seemed slightly bothered at your words, which had you confused. “okay, i’m warming up to you,” your mouth laid a-gap and in pure surprise you practically chuckled. “i think we can stop being at each others throats — it’s what best for the both of us and the others.” “where was this side of chris when i told you we should be civil with each other at the beginning of the trip? what made you change your mind, huh?” before chris could even think of a response, a knock erupted on the door. to pull yourself out of this unwanted conversation, you opened it up to be met with george. “are you two ready?” he hummed and you nodded your head in response. chris made his way over to the door, stepping aside you before exiting first. for a second, your bodies brushed up against each other, sending a chill down your spine that you couldn’t quit understand.

for the duration of the walk to the pub, you walked behind the others, thinking of the conversation you had with chris. you couldn’t help but be angry at him. he had been at your throat since he met you; saying bad things behind your back, and now he had changed his mind quicker than you had imagined. if only in the beginning he had gotten time to know you, this would have never happened. you didn’t know what you had said or done that was so alluring to chris — alluring enough for him to change his mind about you. you recalled him studying your body shamelessly after you exited the bathroom. but if being impressed by your body was his reason for changing his mind, he was an asshole. “are you doing okay?” harry asked as he walked up next to you, his hands shoved into his trouser pockets. “what? oh, yeah.” he pulled you out of your deep thoughts as he spoke. “you sure?” “just tired is all. i just need a drink to take the edge off.” you tried to work a smile onto your face, which seemed to be convincing enough for harry as he returned the smile. you didn’t remember the rest of the night fully. all you could recall was the flashing lights as rock music played and the countless amount of shots you had taken. you were absolutely smashed by the end of the night, according to george, who was also more gone than he’d like to admit. luckily, you could handle your drink unlike arthurtv, so you could still function semi-normally by the time everyone called it a night.

your memory of the nights events jogged a little when you woke up in bed next to chris; his body tangled in yours instead of on his side of the bed. a warm heat coveted your hips — his arms wrapped around it loosely. hot breaths down your neck made your spine shiver and your mind cloud as you assessed your situation. your eyebrows furrowed as your eyes adjusted to the sun peeking through the windows, the hangover prominent. your heart started to beat faster in your chest from embarrassment or even anxiety. over the past few days, you had gotten used to chris’ company. of course, it wasn’t your favourite, but you had realized it wasn’t as bad as you thought. to you, he was now bearable to be with, but not this close. chris began to stir in bed, making your breath hitch. once he had finally awoken, he was met with the situation you found yourselves in. squinting his eyes as they adjusted to the brightened room, chris couldn’t help but flush red once he noticed where his hands were. a mumble escaped his lips; one of an apology or just jumbled words — you couldn’t tell. he pulled his warm arms away from you, which made you feel naked from his grasp. you sat up awkwardly, sitting yourself up against the bed frame as you cleared your throat. chris huffed a little bit before he began to talk. “tell no one about this?” he seemed embarrassed, flustered even, as he spoke, a red hue accompanying his pale cheeks. you had never seen chris so quiet; so timid. a quick “mhm.” was all you could getting out without a hint of embarrassment hitting your face. a part of you couldn’t help but miss the warmth of his arms, but you knew it was stupid. you didn’t like chris and his new-found attitude didn’t change that. you still couldn’t help but crave his touch again, though. you knew that this thought was wrong, so wrong, but the idea of something wrong felt so good.

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hanniluvi · 9 months

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — TEN THINGS I HATE ; JAY FIC

“ I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this. ”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ where jay keeps a journal where he documents all the reasons he hates you, his rival. despite claiming he will forever hate you, keeping this journal only makes him realize his feelings for you.

PAIRING rival!jay x gn!reader

GENRE angst, fluff — WARNINGS jealousy ; overthinking !

WORD COUNT 1.7K+ (1730)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ soph strikes again!! angst cb, did we cheer?? anyways i was in the feels okay 😢 listening to music while writing really unlocks something in ur brain im telling you…idk what really went thru my mind when making this but enjoy 😊🫶

#1 – HOW YOU’RE GOOD AT EVERYTHING.

Is it normal to have a journal dedicated to someone you hate? Whatever, I just need to get this off my chest. Whenever you’re involved, it’s like I could have nothing I want. It’s stupid, but I don’t care, it just pisses me off when you easily follow instructions, perfect things on your first try, and get all the awards I wish to have. I admit, jealousy consumes me. It's frustrating how effortlessly you seem to achieve anything you want without even trying. Seeing your achievements plastered all over the school only intensifies my anger, making me wish I could tear your posters into shreds. I've never despised second place more than now. Why can't I find contentment with my own scores or position, just like you? How can I remove you from my life and find peace within myself?

#2 – HOW CHEERFUL YOU ARE.

How is it possible for someone to remain so happy throughout the entire day? I can't help but wonder if you possess some magical influence over my friends, as they seem to shower you with compliments non-stop. It's weird to hear nothing but praise for you while I find myself complaining about various things. It's almost as if nobody comprehends why I harbor such animosity towards you, and this frustrates me immensely. Every time I express my emotions, they tell me to laugh and smile more, as if I don't already do it enough. But then, when I contemplate your cheerful and positive demeanor, it becomes clear why they encourage it. You're like the epitome of a model student everyone aspires to be, while I remain the perpetually angry and stubborn person. No wonder everyone wants to spend time with you, and perhaps that's one thing I can agree with others on.

#3 – YOU LIKE THINGS THAT I LIKE.

It's almost like a curse that we share the same interests. It's the reason I keep encountering you everywhere. Whatever I do, you seem to be there, expressing your fondness for the same things with your friends. It's frustrating, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought of encountering you even more. Even listening to music has become a challenge, as I know you like the same artists. I purposely skip their songs because they only remind me of you, and I hate being consumed by thoughts of you. I yearn to stop learning more about you so that I can enjoy the things I like in peace, without these constant reminders of you.

#4 – YOU MAKE ME OVERTHINK.

Maybe because of how perfect you seem to be in other’s eyes, I wonder how I look in other people’s eyes too. Am I that awful to hang out with? Am I always seen as this angry person who hates everyone? I’m not that, I know that–my friends do as well. But others? I’m not so sure about that. What confuses me even more is why you persist in wanting to spend time with me despite any perceived flaws or stubbornness on my part. You could easily choose to be with other people who might seem better to converse with. Yet, you continue to stick around, refusing to give up on our “friendship”. And because of this, I can see how others might form a negative opinion about me. My constant push to keep you away could be misunderstood, leading people to believe I'm simply a horrible person.

#5 – YOU LIKE ME.

I'm not sure if you have romantic feelings for me, but I can tell that you consider me a friend. It's interesting because I hadn't thought of you in that way before, but it doesn't seem to bother you. Today, you stood up for me, and it felt really heartening. Normally, I might have felt angry or vulnerable when someone defends me, but this time it was different. I don’t know, it just did feel really nice. Your quick response in telling those people to stop was captivating, even though I didn't express my gratitude at the moment. Lately, I've been struggling with the loud voices in my head, and sometimes I wonder if you could help quiet them too. But now, I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey. You confuse me a lot.

#6 – YOU GIVE THE WRONG PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES.

The other day, I saw you in tears because someone had broken your heart. I must admit, I was taken aback because I had never seen you sad or upset before. It was quite a contrast to the cheerful version of yourself that I'm familiar with. What happened to you that everyone sees all the time? I hope you had someone to tell you your problems too, as it’s not easy for someone who is your rival to be comforting you. I didn’t, so I hope you went home that night filled with less worries because you have someone to talk with.

What surprised me even more was that the very next day, you gave the person who hurt you a second chance. I can't help but wonder why you keep allowing people to hurt you when it's likely they'll repeat the same behavior, ultimately affecting your radiant smile. Stop going back to the people that hurt you once, it’s only going to be a cycle. I wish I could share these thoughts with you, but I hesitate because I doubt you'd take them to heart coming from someone like me. However, I can't help caring despite my own imperfections. It's puzzling to me as well, as you make me feel oddly connected to your feelings.

#7 – SEEING YOUR TEARS.

I never imagined how much I could despise seeing someone cry until the moment I witnessed your tears. Ever since that day, I always thought about it, so how could I let it slip out of my mind this time? I’m sorry for yelling at you today. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I didn’t mean it, I was just extremely frustrated today, and not at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know how saying this won’t do anything, but I truly mean it. I wish I could rewind time once I saw water fill up in your eyes, but what’s done is done. You made me realize something crucial—that I've always seen you as a rival, whereas you only wanted to be friends with me. I allowed my competitive nature to ruin our chances of a meaningful connection. I fear now that you might avoid me, and I understand if you do. I worry that I might continue to hurt you, just like the people you often encounter, who don't treat you with the kindness you deserve. You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry for contributing to your pain.

#8 – GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

I never imagined we'd get another chance after what happened. I tried avoiding you, genuinely attempting to keep my distance. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist reaching out to talk to you again. It's almost as if we both sensed the need to address the situation, leading us to have that important conversation. I still don’t know why you gave me another chance. Did I not say hurtful things to you? How easily are you able to put that behind? Your ability to forgive and move past it leaves me in awe.

It's making me reflect on my own flaws, especially how I tend to hold grudges and struggle to let go of negative feelings. I can't quite comprehend how you do it, but you make me think about you more than ever before. Every word I speak now feels like it needs to be carefully considered, thanks to your presence in my thoughts. Your gesture of offering another chance touched me deeply and brought a smile to my face. I can't help but wonder what you've done to influence me in this way. I think you really did something to me.

#9 – FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS.

We've connected much faster than I anticipated, even surprising my friends. I'm left wondering what you've done to me. You've become an all-encompassing thought – your smile, your laughter, your sense of humor – everything about you fills my mind. At times, I ponder whether I ever cross your thoughts too. Could this be love? My friends have mentioned it, and I can't find a way to refute them. I'm fond of you, immensely so. Isn't that a crazy twist?

It's a strange journey we're on. I started this journal to document the reasons I disliked you, but look at where it's led us. Is it too soon to be feeling this way? The idea of revealing my feelings is terrifying, yet I'm unsure if I'll ever have another opportunity. Please bear with me, allow me to find the right moment. Perhaps soon, hopefully, you'll be in my arms. I realize how absurd all this sounds – what am I even saying?

#10 – HOW EASY YOU WON ME OVER.

You won. You won my heart effortlessly, but I didn't win yours in return. I'm burdened with regret for how I've treated you. My ignorance and neglect weigh heavily on me now. It's painfully clear that he's all you've ever been able to think about. Why did I delude myself into thinking I could make a difference? If only I had treated you with the kindness you deserved from the start. Could that have made you love me instead? These thoughts haunt me.

I've grown aware of my own attachment, and I'm sorry for allowing it to consume me. I apologize for the disruption I've caused in your recent weeks. I can't bring myself to be genuinely happy for you and him, though he does seem like a better man than I could ever be. It's evident that I need to move on for your sake, to make things easier for you. Yet, there's a part of me that wishes I could still claim you as mine. That longing will always remain unchanged.

I doubt you'll ever stumble upon this journal entry, not that I would ever permit anyone to. But regardless, I want you to know that I do love you. It's a truth that's etched deeply within me, even though it pains me to admit it.

💭 — fun fact this was supposed to have a happy ending until i pulled out spotify n listened to lyn lapid…yeah.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (🎥) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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ateliersss · 1 year

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Together Forever

Pairing: Tsu'tey Te Rongloa Ateyitan x Fem!Reader Summary: Soon you'll be one of The People… Cross-posted on AO3: here Word Count: 733

“Am I ugly to you?”

Today was your big day, the consciousness transfer. You would become one with your avatar, leaving your human body to be with the man you love and live the life you've wanted since you first met him.

The ritual for Jake happened the day before. Never would he ever be confined to a wheelchair again. Never would he ever leave this world and his mate to wake up in a link unit. And never would you.

Tsu’tey looked at you while he gently wrapped your body in an algae-like plant like they did with Grace’s three days ago. Nothing man-made was allowed near that sacred place you would go to in a few minutes.

“What do you mean?”

“The first day you trained me and I was making a fool of myself, you said my human-self must be hideous when my dreamwalker-self is already ugly.”

Tsu’tey stopped in his tracks to look into your eyes. A rare sheepish smile appeared on his lips. “That was a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Tsu’tey grumbled before continuing his work. He was almost done. The plant was wrapped around your legs and arms and hid all your private parts which the na’vi had looked at with curiosity and fascination. You had been nervous the whole time and wanted to hide yourself while your mate explored your body with his eyes and hands. Not because you didn't trust him or because you didn't want him to see you, but because he had always despised and loathed humans and he might be disgusted.

What you didn't expect were the tender and careful caresses. You didn’t say a word to give him time, to let him do this in his own pace.

“All sky people are ugly.” He said in English.

Before you could even think of something you could reply with he continuied, “You are so small. So weak.”

You huffed. “That’s easy to say for someone who is a 10 foot tall blue alien.”

Tsu’tey chukled. “If anyone on this planet is an alien, it's you.“

“Yeah, you’re right.” You smiled up to him, taking his much bigger hand in yours.

Tsu'tey looked down at your intertwined hands with his usual poker face, but his eyes held all the love for you within them. “You are beautiful, you have always been beautiful. In this body or another. From the day I caught you in the forest with Jakesully to days I taught you all about us to our mating. You made me feel... something. That hasn't changed for a second. Not even now that you look like this.”

You sat there before him, stunned at his words. In the short time you spent getting close on a more intimate level, you realized that he wasn't a man of big words when it comes to expressing feelings. Nothing surprising. Rather, he showed his affection in a different way - going out into the woods to hunt and present you his prey; saving food for you when you arrived later at Hometree; gifting you clothes, weapons, holsters; giving you feathers, beads, pearls and other trinkets for your hair.

He had shown off his strength and skills with those gestures and you didn’t even realize he had been courting you.

Physical touch like holding hands, wrapping his arms around your waist or his tail around yours, cuddling or even kissing followed shortly after that but those moments were kept private.

However, after the revelation of your mating, some of it happend more and more often in front of the others. The revelation had been a disaster and caused an agitation within the Omatikaya clan but his promised mate had already chosen another as well. After that he didn't waste a moment to show others that you belonged to him. He was always by your side, holding you close to him while still looking like his strong and intimidating self.

You stood to be on an equal footing, took his face in your hands, and rested your forehead against his.

This short moment of togetherness was quickly interrupted by an awkward throat clearing.

“You’re ready? It’s time.” Jake said with a sly grin. Neytiri stood with a soft look on her face next to him.

You just rolled your eyes and looked back at Tsu’tey with an excited smile.

“Soon you and I can be together forever.”

#avatar #tsu'tey #tsu'tey te rongloa ateyitan #tsu'tey x reader #tsu'tey x you #tsu'tey imagines

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http-finnick · 1 year

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𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫

finnick odiar x fem!reader

summary: after the war, your whereabouts are a mystery left with missing next to it. finnicks days are gloomy without his love as jealous friends burden him.

request: hi I love your finnick stories so much!! i really like reading them ♥️ i saw requests are open an was wondering if you could do a finnick x reader where its after the war and he thinks shes dead but later finds out she’s alive and he’s just happy and excited to plan their life together? thank you ♥️

I dont..miss her. it's strange. I- I want her here it's just..I feel like I've lost something..like I'll find it soon. It'll be in arms reach soon, just...wait. that's all. wait.

"you're grieving. It's denial" his head pops up to see a red-headed woman cross her legs, he almost forgot he was saying that all out loud

"she isn't missing, Finnick, she isn't at arms reach. She's dead." Annie moves her hair behind her ear before resting her head on her hand, staring at his expression, for a reaction to her statement

"some shrink you are." he scoffs, he hates how she's talking. she isn't dead. she cant be.

"...finnick" pity. her tone is pitiful and there's nothing he despises more. he struggles to find logic to support his calm as he fumbles from rage

"no body."

"what?" "no body. no proof. she could be alive" now he stares straight at her. her wide brown eyes flashing a sign of annoyance before being coated with a wave of seriousness.

"we went over this. you need to look at the facts-" "I am. no body." now he's getting defense, how could she say that? wheres her hope? she never gives up on anyone why would she give up on you so quickly?

"you called me a shrink. I'm not. I'm a friend and you need to listen to me as that. mourn her. do it now before you hold onto her forever"

she's gone. I know that now. I don't talk about her anymore, annie doesn't like the noise. mostly to myself when I want to reminisce on good memories that just end up with me crying in the bathroom like a pathetic wimp. sometimes I think to talk about her to annie but she just tells me to let go of her. but I can't.

the 5 stages of grief. Annie told me about that. is confusion one? I feel confused.

I sit on the island counter as I hear fabric on fabric, it's the dress of annie swiping against itself as she walks in to check on me.

"hey, you okay?" she leans against the wall, fiery red hair longer than ever as she awaits my answer

"uhh, yeah, yeah." brushing it off as I sit up, she isn't satisfied. he knows but it isn't the time.

"wanna talk about it?" seriously? he can? and to think she hated the noise

"it'd be nice" he answered sniffing slightly as he was already getting emotional

"what's the matter?" she sits down and motions for him to do as well, he hesitates, feeling more in control of the situation by standing and looking away, but, he sits.

"uh, I'm really am missing her a lot more" he watched her chew her cheek and he starts to feel claustrophobic. is he a burden? an annoyance to bring up the past? to dwell so heavily?

"what are you hanging onto so much?" her tone is soft but he knows spitfire when he hears it, he smiles and bites his bottom lip, he knew it was too good to be true.

"what?" shes clueless. utterly clueless and he's about to snap

"no it's just, wow."

"..wow?"

"you tell me to mourn but I'm never allowed to!" he smiles while sitting up, completely done. over her bullshit and looking for a fight

"well, mourning isn't clinging onto things fin." she hits right back, ready to get this over with and go to bed.

"what the hell is wrong with you? I- I have no one to fucking talk to!"

"you aren't here when you talk! you are somewhere else living in the past and you can't hear anyone when they tell you the truth!"

"oh- oh so what this truth?" he pushes her, ready for her to say, daring her to.

"that she's dead and you need to get over that." she strikes for the kill and it fucking hurts. he bites his tongue as she scoffs and tries to form a semi-redeemable apology that he knows he just bullshit

"no. I need you to get the fuck out." he waves his hand mindlessly towards the door as he stares at the floor, feeling blood pool into his mouth from biting his tongue a little too hard

two of the most important women are gone from his life and he only has a chance with one of them.

he wears dress pants and a button-up with flowers he picked this morning. he needs at least for this to work out.

he slides the bouquet onto the counter and lets his fingers run through his fluffy locks as he opens the fridge, trying to find some drinks they can have together as he scans the empty cold box.

he throws his head back at the sound of the rippling scream of his phone, he can't deal with post-capitol shit right now.

he swings his feet and grabs the telephone off the wall, stating his name and 'hi' as he waits

a woman chimes in on the other line stating herself and her authority as she starts to say things he doesn't really understand, numbers of times and dates, he doesn't do appointments or capitol press anymore

"wait- wait. I'm sorry, what?"

"for ms.l/n, when will you arrive for her?" he drops the phone as his throat closes up. they found her. they found her. they found her.

her body.

pickup. they want me to come to get her. his knees became weak and he slid to the floor, only now hearing her voice asking for him as it dangled next to his shaking body

he grabs it and puts it up to his ear, his voice cracking as he asks what date, time, and location to...pick her up.

he couldn't help but notice the way she talked about 'ms.l/n' in a slight past tense. he wanted confirmation for the longest time but it was bittersweet knowing she was actually gone. no fuck that. it's bitter it hurts like hell. it feels like the day he found out she was gone and panicked looking for her, though this time actually finding a body. he isn't gonna let Annie's "coping 101" infect his brain now. he is in pain. he feels like he is dying.

his love is gone. It's been months of her gone but now she's gone.

the train ride was silent as he just sat there in shock the whole time. he was lucky enough to get one today. he hopes they are wrong, hoping when he walks in it'll be someone else.

he stumbles into the hospital, telling the nurses about the call and about the woman on the other line. they tell him a room number and he floats there without question.

he notices how the room isn't leading to a morgue but rather a patient room. maybe it's full. maybe they found her with other missing troops.

and turns the door and cracks it open, he can't stop himself to shut his eyes tightly as he hopes shes is in a zipped body bag at least

he opens his eyes right when he walks in.

there. it's you. no doubt.

it's you sitting up. you're alive.

"y-y/n?"

"holy shit finnick..you're all dressed up for me?" how, how could you joke at this time? how can you joke at all? you were dead. he thought you died he-

he sprints towards you and hugs you tightly, tears flowing from his eyes as he smells you, feels you, loves you again

"I- I thought you died.."

"me too" you mumble feeling your own tears slip out as he weeps against you. you're safe.

"I love you, I love you so much" he cries out, not daring to pull away from you but you manage to lift him up just enough to be face-to-face with him. you kissed him softly, his lips familiar and warm

"I love you too"

you're thin and bruised. utterly beaten down by nature as your busted lip smiles at him, and he knows no matter how long you were lost you were the same old you deep down.

"let's get married. let's get married and move anywhere you want." he smiles, thinking of living with you in the meadow, alone, just the two of you.

"woah, next you're gonna say let's make a million babies" you giggle, pretending like you weren't about to say the same thing.

"not quite a million my love but close to it" he laughs and you fall into it as well. wiping your tears with your free hand had only now noticed how hard your other hand was gripping his

"I missed your laugh so much" he sniffs, tears still spilling out as he smiles at you

"I missed everything about you so much" you dip back in to kiss him and he goes right to it, hugging you deeply as he thinks about how soon you'll be his wife. soon he'll be your husband and soon you two will have a life. a real one.

an: I hope this is okay! I added Annie drama on accidentally lmao. I hope I didn't pace it weirdly and I hope I was able to catch how Finnick was feeling at least a little well. like he knew deep down she was alive but he was just mourning her absent presence. I hope you guys enjoyed it! mwah, love you so much!

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