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#i went through many fandoms and not only on tumblr and every single time i never talked to anyone and even if i interacted with someone
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AITA for kicking someone from my server and not explaining why?
(emojis so I can find later: 🪨🪨🪨)
[This happened a few years ago, but I’ll write the ages as they were at the time.]
I (14M) made a server for a fandom I was in. It was a small fandom (I was mutuals with every single fan on tumblr) so I thought it’d be nice to have a place we can all talk other than the tumblr dashboard. This was also not my first server — I had 2 or 3 years of experience running them (having run a server with 100ish members a year or two beforehand) so I was fully confident in my ability to run a server with less than 20 people, especially since everyone knew each other and was friends already.
Now, there was this person in the server, we’ll call her B (16F). I wasn’t super close with her, but ofc I was friends with her through the fandom. We didn’t talk much — the only time I can recall us speaking outside of discord was to send fandom art requests to each other. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with her coming in, but as she spoke more in my server, I started to question whether she was somebody I wanted hanging around.
I won’t go into full depth of things she said or did (both for privacy’s sake and to keep things brief), but I’ll explain my biggest reasons for kicking her.
First, she vented a lot, which typically I wouldn’t judge, but I really didn’t want a fandom server associated with so much negativity — and not only that, but the way she vented was very… I mean, we would be telling her things she did wrong in general channels, and then she would go to the vent channel and say things like “I’m sorry I’m so stupid and such a bad person I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.” and then we’d (well, everybody else — I don’t play these games with people) all have to console her. Not only that, but she’d vent about shit like — “I’m such a bad person because I’m cis. I’m sorry for being cis.” In a server full of trans people.
Second was her ableism towards autistic people, in a server also full of autistic people (This is honestly the biggest thing I had against her). Since most of us were autistic, we headcanoned most (if not all) of the characters in the series as autistic, usually with little basis in canon. One person specifically said “I think X character is autistic” and most people agreed, until she came along and said “No, they’re too normal.” We were all kind of like “???” until somebody said “Autistic people are normal” and she said “No, they’re all learning disabled” and some other stuff I don’t remember off the top of my head. (Obviously nothing wrong with having learning disabilities and many autistic people do have them etc, it’s just the way she went about saying what she said — and also disagreeing with a harmless headcanon because a character was too “normal” to be autistic). Again, most of us are autistic and were offended by what she said.
These were the two biggest contributors as to why I kicked her from my server — there were more (usually smaller) things she did that made people uncomfortable or pissed me off, but again, I’m not going to mention everything.
So, I silently kicked her, not wanting to cause too much drama, but also fed up with her behavior. I think I also softblocked her on tumblr, not wanting us to be mutuals or friends anymore but also not seeing a block as necessary (I didn’t mind if she saw my fandom posts in the tag, for example). However, she ended up following me back and sent me an ask asking why she was kicked from the server. I believe I told her “I don’t owe you an explanation, I just didn’t want you there anymore”. I didn’t want to say “you did this, this, and this” and just have her say “I didn’t do that/That wasn’t a big deal” and turn it into an entire argument, you know? I also just didn’t want to talk to her at all. So after answering, I softblocked her again and she sent me a long rant calling me a bitch, to which I simply hardblocked her.
I’m pretty sure I was justified in kicking her from my server, but I’m not sure if I’m justified in not telling her why — I understand being confused and demanding an answer but I also know she’d been told off multiple times — and I still don’t think she’s owed a response. Maybe if we were closer friends, I would have explained why. But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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awakefor48hours · 1 month
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Update: they’re gone. Let’s celebrate
Hello everyone, I need your help getting rid of someone that's been harassing people (myself included).
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This is the person in question and I need your help to get rid of them and stopping any future harassment.
Even if you're not in the Black Clover fandom, I would appreciate a moment for your time to read this. For a bit of context, if you haven't seen Black Clover, the main ship in the show is Astelle (Asta x Noelle). In the show, Noelle has a massive crush on Asta (think Amity to Luz/Marinette to Adrien/Hinata to Naruto/etc, etc). It's pretty clear that Astelle will be canon but sometimes canon doesn't matter and people ship different things. Now onto this whole shit show.
Harassing in DMs
To start off, they're basically every shade of bigot. My moots and I have gotten really nasty DMs from dailyasnoel and I'm going to censor them because there's pretty bad slurs in them.
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The first one was sent to me and the second one was sent to @the-geek-librarian
We're both in a server and everyone in this server (nearly 15 of us) have been blocked. Keep in mind, not a single one of us had ever interacted with them in our lives. We've all tagged our posts properly and haven't said a single negative thing about Astelle or their blog. They went out of their way to send us these DMs with very hateful slurs all because we don't want the same fictional teenagers kissing.
Harassing others
This isn't even the first time that dailyasnoel has gone after people simply for just shipping Noelle with another character. These two, ramiliadoesstuff and kcuf-ad have also posted about been harassed.
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Along with that, there is now a ship week for Kahonoelle (a femslash ship involving Noelle) being run by moot @t-f-t (Alex) and this was the response to the original post (a post that was tagged properly and no malice towards anyone) announcing this.
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This could've just been the end of it but they felt the need to send an ask to Alex expressing their disgust because there's people who don't want the same fictional teenagers kissing.
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Then there's this lovely comment on that post.
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Guess who's going to be extremely annoying during Kahonoelle week. (BTW, wouldn't it be really funny if we got them off the internet before their shit ass Astelle week).
Fanfiction
This harassment isn't just on tumblr either, it's on AO3 too.
I scrolled through the Yunoelle (Yuno x Noelle) tag on AO3 and the comments on some of these fanfictions are so vile. There's so many hate comments and I didn't even screenshot all of them because there's so many of them.
I found comments left by people with the username "dailyasnoel" and other guest users with different usernames that make similar comments to dailyasnoel because I assume it's the same person.
Making the Devils Cry
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Yuno and Noelle Oneshots
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When the Sea Goddess Snaps
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Hot Tub Accident
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While scrolling the Yunoelle tag, I noticed that there's people who have started limited their comment section, have deleted comments with responses like "dude, calm down," or have made their fanfictions private.
And even as a little side note, I want to make it clear that I was able to look at every single Yunoelle fanfiction on AO3 because it's not even a popular ship. There's only 31 fanfictions for them so a lot of these fanfictions are written by the same authors. On the other hand, Astelle has been consistently the most popular ship in the fandom and even has the most fanfictions. So it's not even like Astelle fans are hurting for fanfictions or that Yunoelle fans are invading their spaces.
The actual blog
The icing on this queerphobic, harassing, racist cake is that they're an art thief. Their blog only has art and all of it is from other people. There's no indication these are reposts, there's no signs that they got permission to repost these, nor any links to the original posters. (original art links > 1/2/3)
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If you know nothing about Black Clover or the fandom, I want to make this abundantly clear, this is behavior is unacceptable. This fandom has been very peaceful as of late and this one person does not speak for Astelle fans in the slightest. The Astelle fans I've interacted with are quite lovely, and if Asta or Noelle or Tabata (the creator) saw this, they'd be disgusted.
Whether or not you're in the Black Clover fandom is irrelevant. This is a horrible person and art thief, please report and block this person. Together, we can get rid of this person.
@dailyasnoel I know you have me blocked but if you happen to read this, I want you to know that if this small part of you that you show on the internet is even a modicum similar to how you behave in real life (joking or not), you are going to live a very sad and lonely life.
I hope you enjoy your own company because no one will want to be your friend, no one will support you, and above all else, no one will mourn you. Your absence will be treated with nothing but joy and whimsy because you are a sad and pathetic parasitic monster.
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anxious-witch · 3 months
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What a year, huh? We all know I have to be emotional on tumblr.com whenever the opportunity arises because that's one way I allow myself to have an emotional catharsis (for legal reasons this a joke)
In all seriousness though, this year has been a lot for me. Both in a good and bad sense, but Käärijä and Joker Out improved it significantly. And more importantly, their fandoms. (More inder the cut bc this is long af)
I have never really been someone who knows anything about the artists' whose music I listened to. Before this, I don't think I ever listened to a full album of someone, just random songs that I liked. Finding stuff from personal life of bands/musicians I liked usually made me depressed so I didn't bother.
Then, ESC 2023. happened. I frankly have no idea what flipped the switch in my head. Bojere interactions? The way people on tumblr were so welcoming even back when I was mostly posting about Let 3 and Käärijä only? I don't know, I only know that we are here now, regardless.
Another thing about me is that I used to be very pessimistic person. Likez genuinely. I have been "unofficially"(long story) diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 11, which is over a decade now. I always had a lot of bad experiences with people and really awful trust issues. I have been doing better for some time now, but it is very hard to let go of the feeling of pessimism and helplessness. In a world where awful things happen every second, what can I possibly do that would change anything?
Then ESC happened. Käärijä lost and I thought "another injustice that will never be corrected". Except, instead of feeling defeated, everyone just loved him more. In those weeks after and later on months, all I have seen had been unrelenting love and acceptance of Jere. Reminding him that despite not winning Eurovision, he is our winner and we'll forever think of him as such. Jere who has a wonderfully belly and strong thighs and is short and by no means is he conventional in any sense. And people loved him not despite all that but because all that. Because we all found ways to relate to him, or to what he went through.
His story of almost dying and still getting where he did only served to highlight that more. Because of he did it, why can't we get to what we want? Why can't I? It shifted my whole perspective.
Then, Joker Out. It is so, so funny to me how I barely paid any attention to them during ESC, except for bojere interactions and was dragged in it by the shared fandom, when now I post most about them.
But yes, JO. A band from Slovenia that while tehnically isn't Balkan, felt so close to me. Like they could understand all the things I kept to myself because of where I was. And then they showed me there is still hope.
I have never seen a band from around here take a pride flag on the stage. Never. I know it's a thing, especially abroad, but God I have never seen that happen here. And with how much love they always took it! That's...wow. It gave me hope that not only is it possible for injustices to be corrected, but that ot's possible to do it even in the environment I'm in.
And then...the Virtual Letters Project happened. Or well positive confessions that @spockowhales turned into Virtual Letters Project.
That's when I knew it's truly possible. I have seen tumblr posts, yes. But getting stuff so directly addressed about or to JO made me realize how much of a "wave" they all created. So many people said they helped them with their depression, with viewing their world differentky with meeting new peoplez with daring to do something new.
I have no words to describe how much that meant to me and I really hope that when they read those letters, they understood the impact they had.
But even that aside, I want to thank everyone in this fandom. People I have talked to, people I have interacted with it any way, through replies, reblogs, likes, anon asks. I appreciate every single one of you for helping create such a wonderful space. We had our ups and downs in the fandom, but we are all here because we love these fandoms, these people so much to keep talking about it even months after.
Thank you and I wish everyone here a wonderful New Year with even more laugh, love and positivity ❤️ have a good one
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purlty23 · 14 days
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Anonymously asking the people I follow to talk about something that makes them happy! (I don't remember if i've already asked you this before ignore it if I have) Do me a learn if you're so inclined!
Hello dear anon! I don’t think I have gotten this before, it must have been one of the many that I’m sure slip through tumblr’s cracks. I love any excuse to talk about my interests, this is such a gift! Since we’re in the demon church fandom here, why not some history of demon summoning? Every horror movie you’ve ever seen where demons are summoned in under 24 hours vastly underestimate the work that allegedly went into the practice!
Before anything, I’m going to cite my source for everything here. Grimorium Verum is a grimoire written in the 18th century, though in the books itself it claims to be from 1517. Markedly untrue. It translates to True Grimoire, and it’s one of the only grimoires out there from the era that has a detailed description of the summoning of demons. It shares some things of note with the Greater and Lesser Keys of Solomon, which was written during the Italian Renaissance. You can read Grimorium Verum translated here! One thing you’ll notice if you read it is how quickly the author is to tell you that everything is of consequence. Every action, every word, and even down to the time that they’re done or said is of meaning. It would be incredibly difficult to do it ‘on accident’ going by these guidelines like a lot of pop culture would have you believe First, you’d have to know which demon you want. Each demon has a specific talent or task it can complete. They also have their own sigils. That’s where works like Psuedomonarchia Deamonum, published in 1577, come in handy. Here’s my personal version of it if you’d like to read. It’s a full A-Z list of Hell’s notable demons and their standing in Lucifer’s leagues. Once you’ve figured that out, there’s a lot to plan. Preliminary incantations are just the beginning of pages upon pages of latin that would need to be spoken. The first Invocation is written on virgin parchment- parchment made of a young animal’s tanned hide, likely goat. Purification of the summoner must take place before any instruments for the summoning can be made:
The lancet, made of new steel on the day and hour of Jupiter in the crescent moon. Followed by reciting Orison and the Seven Psalms
The sacrificial knife, which needs to be made of new steel and strong enough to cut through the neck of a young goat. Made on the day of Mars on a full moon. It needs specific carvings on the hilt, and once more follow by Orison and the Seven Psalms
The virgin parchment, which must be made from the sacrificial goat, lamb, or other animal killed with the knife above. All other instruments must remain on the altar at the time of creation.
Two rods; both of hazel wood, one cut in a single stroke on the day and hour of Mercury on a cresent moon, one cut in a single stroke on the day and hour of the Sun. Followed by none other than Orison
Confused about all these days and hours? No worries- those of the time and talent would have had a great grasp on planetary days and hours. Every single step of tanning the virgin parchment comes with it’s own ceremony and incantations, and every action matters.
The summoner must to it all on their own before preparing themselves. They must pray in specific ways at specific times for three days. Seeing how we know this all must start in the day and hour of Jupiter, after those three days of prayer it would be 11 days of preparation.
The actual summoning ritual has to be on a Tuesday. It’s a lot of drawing of sigils, invocations and conjurations. It’s actually the simpler part of everything, if the grimoire is to be believed. However… it claims there to be two kinds of pacts to be made with demons: the tactic and the apparent. The apparent is notably also called the explicit. We can infer quite a bit from that one sly comment by our sassy writer here.
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bunny-carrothunter · 21 days
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I remember back in 2017 when Dragon Ball Super had come out, it was the perfect outlet for what I was going through at the time, and when I went to look for it’s fandom on Tumblr, everything just snowballed from there. I met so many talented artists, shared excitement, joy, ideas, and art with other members of the small community, the moment Frit (Frost x Hit) became my absolutely favorite pairing ever even still today. I found a friend group that supported me through my hardest times and that I still love and share life events with to this day.
It was what inspired and motivated me to draw, to better my anatomy, my writing, everything. The memories, good and bad, are what shaped me into the person I became.
I remember doing my work to Dragon Ball Super’s intro and outro songs, every single one of them nostalgic and bops to this day. Reading fanfic that had me hooked for weeks.
I owe it a lot for this franchise, the fandom, the community. The manga and anime world feel just a little empty tonight.
Akira Toriyama left behind a legacy that many could only dream of achieving. And he was always humble with it, every step of the way.
ありがとう, Toriyama. Thank you for what you brought to the world.
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lemonarcade · 4 months
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to everyone:
we did it! we made it to the end of 2023 :) thank you for being part of this roller coaster of a year that went by faster than my brain could comprehend, whether you’ve known me for quite a while, or we’ve just started getting to know each other.
our world has changed and is still changing very much, and i wish only the best for every single one of you that sees this. please stay safe, take care, and here’s to 2024!
some personal messages under the cut!
💌: @by-moonflower
dearest kesya,
writing letters long asks back and forth has become one of my favourite pastimes.
i send you strength and resilience, hope and light. may you find the peace and comfort you deserve.
thank you for always indulging me in my ramblings; sharing our agony over inarizaki’s aggravating middle blocker, mr no.10 sunarin.
your works will forever hold a special place in my heart (i go back to them from time to time) and one day i might frame your beautiful prose and your use of language.
you’ve seen me through my many many reinventions of the (online) self, and each time you welcome me with open arms and a warm loaf of earl grey bread (don’t mind me, i’m just fondly thinking of the wonderful ask you once sent me). this humble one simply cannot express through words just how much this friendship means to me, but i hope that we can continue to watch each other grow and live through life, just as we do now.
sending my warmest wishes for your 2023 to end well, and for 2024 to welcome you just like i was.
tearfully,
caz
💌: @bflfism
yun!! the beefleaf mutual™ that wrote an amazing lqq fic that i was so intrigued by, despite not knowing much more about tgcf outside of the first season of the anime (i don’t think i’ve ever said this to you, so imagine me running to drop a comment as soon as i’ve posted this) i can’t believe i was lucky enough to have found you and stuck with you through your blog changes (as you did with me). what would life be like if i never met you- nevermind! i don’t want to even consider the possibility 😤
even if you don’t frequent tumblr as much anymore, i still enjoy the connection with have through the dash and asks! and :D i would like to say that you have my utmost support in your cosplaying journey ~ (please see my likes are like little thumbs up and encouraging smiles hehe)
💌: @minkibug
minki my beloved tuxedo cat mutual 😼 your silliness never fails to make me smile as i scroll through dash. you 🫵 will be the best dentist. i also wish that you’ll have an unlimited supply of matcha forever (only the best for my fellow matcha lover). it’s such a joy to see you on dash, whether that be study struggles (relatable) or new kpop fixation (good on you) or random tidbits, know that i look at your posts fondly.
💌: @harubirus
hihi fae! i hope you don’t mind the tag, but i wanted to use this opportunity to show my admiration and appreciation for you. your poetic and artistic reblogs never fail to open my eyes to the ways creativity can be expressed, and even more so from your own creations! although we haven’t truly interacted much, your presence on my dash is one i treasure and hope to continue seeing as the new year rolls by. wishing you all the best with life and hope it is treating you well 🧡
💌: @thelargefrye
🍟 my fry queen! i’m very happy we’ve managed to get to this point and remain mutuals (let’s not look at my multiple deletion and creation of blogs…)
smalls, i will always be a loyal fry of yours; even if our fandoms may have drifted apart, seeing your reblogs and posts on the dash reminds me of how i look up to you. your passion and support for ateez is still going strong to this day, and i really admire it as a fellow atiny.
may you enjoy the rest of 2023 and a good 2024 await you!
💌: @secnghwa
viviii it has been way too long since we’ve had a proper chat! whenever we do have a small one, i never seem to be able to ask how you’ve been doing, so here’s me hoping that 2023 has been good to you. ateez’s comeback brought us back together briefly and it was awesome :D the seongjoong unit song was FIRE 🔥 and your bias slayed every. single. rap. verse.
thank you for being part of my 2023 and i hope 2024 will kick off nicely for you!
💌: @barsformars
rinnie i was ecstatic to see your return! hope this year has been good for you, or else 2023 and i will need to have a talk *cracks knuckles*
i missed you a lot, and admittedly did go through your blog on more than one occasion… it was so delightful seeing you back on the dash :D i never did ask, but how did you find ateez’s comeback? they really outdid themselves in many ways, and this album showed quite a lot of the growth that they’ve done since their last full album.
you’ve always been and will always be a good friend of mine that i will think of, and i cherish the times in the past that we shared 🧡 do let me know if i can keep in touch on another platform!
2024 better watch it and be nice to rin 👊
💌: @yinyinggie
you are genuinely a fairy in disguise. let me squish your cheekies okay (please)
combining compliments from teyval and the christmas tree, i am here to present my end of year words of gratitude to the lovely fae.
yinggie, the moments i spend talking to you are never wasted, and most of the time i tuck some of the words into a pocket in my heart. you are like spring flowers blooming in the company of light breeze, and it would be my honour to be able to capture the essence of the gentleness you exude.
my liege, it is MY pleasure to know you and i hope to get to know you even better with this coming year, and perhaps many more to come (i reiterate my wish to someday meet in person)
i feel like you have inspired and helped me to work on myself in quite a few ways, whether it be directly or indirectly, so please have this token of gratitude 🌷
my parting words to you would be that my belief in you stands strong and you can do anything you put your mind to (taking wise words from someone i know)
hope you have a grand closing to end the year :D
💌: @dumbificat
dumbs! (please let me know if i can call you that) my dear darling, you are so so sweet and lovely, and i’m so glad i’ve gotten to know you this year. your willingness to help others and to put yourself out there deserves all the pats on the back and thumbs up (. you’re such a wonderful meowtual and i would definitely love to know you more in this upcoming year. thank you for being a constant witness to my valorant fails and wins. please do take care of yourself and i only wish the best for you 🧡 cheers to the new year!
💌: teyval
to my fellow server members, thank you for making this last half of 2023 such a blast! it's been amazing chatting with everyone and meeting so many lovely people in the span of these past few months, and i wouldn't have it any other way 🧡
to my jijis, your warm welcomes to us newbie mods really made my day. it's been incredible to work together to improve on teyval as a safe and positive space to everyone else, and the endearing ideas you guys have come up with to bring joy to the members is so heartwarming.
special mentions to mhie, zee, snob, ven, yukari, rosey, bell, nervo, meisha, star, henry, alu, cixi, mr cosmic (and ely) for being gold star souls that are part of the reason i continue to go on teyval regularly.
💌: @hereisleo
if leo ever sees this -> i got a kodak film camera!! i've brought it along with me on some trips and special occasions, and from the developed film it's quite clear i've got a lot to work on hehe
hope you've been healthy and well, and continue to be so as we step into a new year 🧡
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meatcatt · 2 months
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Hello!! I found some of your art on Pinterest so I went searching and I found your twitter which led me here! I reallllyyyy love your art!! It's so cute. Especially how you draw Shamura- They're just a little bean!!
I also adore your Redo AU! Especially how Narinder is getting babied by his siblings haha. Makes me wonder their reaction would be to Lambert (Who I feel so bad for. They did not deserve this, the poor bby)
First off I want to say thank you for liking my art work, it means the world to me that though I have left the cult of the lamb fandom behind (mostly) that my blog and the art I’ve made can still be enjoyed by fans new and old. Redo au is my baby, and I’m glad so many people enjoy it despite its lack luster writing haha…
I have struggled to answer this ask because I want to make it clear you aren’t the problem. But I also desperately need people to know.
The reason I left the cult of the lamb fandom, and for awhile tumblr as a whole, was because my art work was constantly being stolen and re uploaded despite my wishes. Even with credit. And the main culprit was Pinterest (though YouTube and Reddit didn’t help).
I want to say again that this person, or anyone who found me through Pinterest, is absolutely not the issue. I also understand that part of having popular art in fandom is that it’s inevitably going to get stolen. I understand that. But it’s just. It hurts. Every time.
I cannot describe to you the mood killer it is to scroll looking for fandom stuff and see your own art work flashed at you. No credit and sometimes your watermark purposely removed. And the fact that it’s plastered on every page I have “please don’t repost my artwork even with credit” it feels like even more a punch to the gut. Because of those I considered even credited work stolen, because it deliberately goes against my wishes.
I know some people say “it doesn’t matter because you’re getting free exposure”. And they are right. This asker is exact proof of that. But! I post art work online for likes, comments, and reblogs. I know that might seem shallow but it’s true. I want to see people like my art, I want to see what people think about it. If I don’t I just keep it to myself or just show my friends which happens to be the majority of my work. Most of my stuff has never been posted publicly anywhere! And those likes and comments drive me, they make me want to create because people like my stuff! It makes me happy. And I can’t get that if someone steals it and takes it off site.
I left tumblr for a bit after discovering my entire tumblr had essentially been re-uploaded to Pinterest by a single user (most of the time it’s only a few of my most popular posts taken). Credit removed. I doom scrolled it for hours. I had to stop when I saw someone commented on my artwork saying “I love this art but who’s the artist, I can’t seem to find them anywhere?” I don’t know. It hurt.
I joined in stars and time fandom hesitantly, and after scrolling on YouTube got recommended a video that had my art work stolen in it. Not credit. And I’m heart broken. Maybe this shouldn’t hurt me so much. But it does.
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noelwho · 7 months
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Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist!!!
Hello! I feel like I have to introduce myself ‘cause I’m barely on Tumblr. I’m still learning how to use it, I posted a couple of fanarts and they went really well, so I want to try and make myself a spot in here. My name is Noel (they/them) and I’m a big fan of Critical Role. I started watching a few months ago, with Exandria Unlimited. Once I was done I went ahead and started Campaign 3. I’m currently on episode 49 (I know, I have a lot ahead yet). I also watched the first season of Candela Obscura and a couple of One-Shots.
Today I’m here to talk about the Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches. Earlier this week I started to obsess over a playlist. An Imodna playlist, to be more specific. It started with me listening to one I found on spotify (I will credit below because it’s been a huge inspiration for this project) and I got the urge to make my own. At the beginning it was something chill, something normal…until it was not. Over the course of the last 3 days I haven’t thought about or listened to anything else. I got the idea of making the playlist in chronological order and I started to take it very seriously. I divided their history in 10 different chapters and assigned each song to the correct time period. At first it was just gonna be into chapters, but then I started to put them in order inside the chapters too, and it became very personal. For real, this playlist has been the one and only thing I wanted to talk about for days. Last night I finally finished it. I’ve played it for run tests several times and I think it’s finally ready to see the light (kinda feels like the project of my life even though I only spent a few days working on it).
After all this brainrot it didn’t feel right to just tweet a link to the playlist, I wanted the world to know everything that went through my head in the process of making this. I also don’t have many people around who care about Critical Role, and I thought it was a good opportunity to connect with the fandom. So all of this took me here, to tumblr. All of a sudden it became very clear that this was the perfect place to set my baby free.
There’s some things I wanna make clear before you start reading, the first being the classic: english is not my first language. Sounds like a joke at this point but for real, it’s very likely that this thing is full of grammatical mistakes and I want to apologize in advance (specially about the in/on/at situation, I’ve been having lots of trouble with those for some reason) This is also the first time I do something like this so it may not be perfect. The second thing is that this will obviously be filled with spoilers. In fact I actually haven’t even got to The Scene, I saw it around on Tumblr and Twitter (impossible to avoid that spoiler, but I don’t really care). I’m aware that there’s a lot of Imodna moments that I haven’t seen yet, but I couldn't wait to start this playlist. I don’t know if the episodes I have left to watch will translate into new chapters or into new songs for the chapters I already have but either way, I will keep this post and the playlist updated.
With that being said, welcome to this ride through an unhinged mind. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy!
The tether scene is one of my favorite ones. I love that metaphor with a passion. That’s why I chose this name for the playlist. With the photo I wanted to make an allusion to the red thread myth given that Laudna herself carries around a spool of red string. I even edited the picture so the hands on the right are slightly gray like Laudna’s.
There’s not just one specific vibe to this playlist, but I find it to be a very calming one, with the exception of some specific moments that we will talk about later. I tried to avoid strong and distracting beats so I could keep it a little ethereal. Lots of acoustic guitar (which I love). I’m not going to talk about every single song because some of them have pretty obvious meanings. Usually the songs aren't a 100% match, but they do have a part to it that speaks to me and to the story on a certain level.
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× Imogen and Laudna’s separate lifes ×
At the beginning of the journey that is this playlist, I wanted to introduce the characters. Intertwining their songs, we get to know Imogen and Laudna’s pasts, before they have each other to face the terrors of being witches in a world that doesn’t quite understand them.
Delilah - Florence + The Machine (Laudna)
I sometimes wonder if Marisha has ever listened to this song, because oh my fucking god. I wanted to start the playlist with Abbey, I didn’t because with the intertwining I couldn’t make it fit, but this one is a very good start as well. This song shows perfectly how it must have been being brought back by Delilah and having that power all of a sudden.
Abbey - Mitski (Imogen)
Matilda - Harry Styles (Laudna)
Imogen - Nick Mulvey (Imogen)
Laudna's lullaby - Ginny Di (Laudna)
Time comes in roses - Bess Atwell (Imogen)
The Tradition - Halsey (Laudna)
Burn it down - Daughter (Imogen)
There’s several songs from this album on this playlist. It couldn’t fit better. It reflects perfectly the moment Imogen started to develop her powers. It even refers directly to the way she parts ways with her town (which doesn’t happen for a few chapters but still I felt this one belonged here). Her fear of being a disappointment, her father becoming absent, the feeling of being cursed. It’s all here.
The hanging tree - The hunger games (Laudna)
Still I wait - Anna Leone (Both)
Even with everything they had to go through, they both still wait and cling to hope.
× Imogen and Laudna meet ×
Finally, their paths cross. They experience the feeling of warmth for the first time in a long time. They both feel the need to keep the other one close and begin to appreciate the little things in life, learning how to be taken care of. Goodbye loneliness.
Season of the Witch - Lana Del Rey
I'd like to walk around in your mind - Vashti Bunyan
How important is this song knowing what Imogen can do…
Comfortable Silence - Bella Porter
Without you without them - Boygenius
A hole in the earth - Daughter
That Moon Song - Gregory Alan Isakov
Love brought weight - Old Sea Brigade
That distant shore - Steven Universe
Sick of losing soulmates - Natalie Dawn
I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry
Sidelines - Phoebe Bridgers
The bug collector - Haley Heyderickx
Sometimes I feel that it’s always Laudna taking care of Imogen, as if she didn't have anything on her own plate. It can't be easy to live with a voice in your head and paranoia. This song shows how Imogen is there to hold Laudna too when it becomes too much.
Look up - Joy Oladokun
If the last one was an Imogen’s POV, this one is totally a Laudna’s POV. Her and her silly little pep talks. “You’re so capable”.
Daylight - Taylor Swift
I love the idea of them learning that life can be good if you find someone to share it with. This song encapsulates that perfectly.
Spell - Dora Jar
I wanted this one to be the last one of the chapter because it introduces the idea of leaving together.
× Imogen and Laudna run away together ×
“Would you run away with me?” They learn what it’s like to have a home that’s not a place, but something entirely new. The past still follows but they’re no longer crushed by it, because they don’t have to sustain it on their own.
Departure - Daughter
Second child, restless child - The Oh Hellos
Just the two of us - Grover Washington, Jr.
I really like to imagine Imodna slice of life scenes when I listen to this song.
Dandelion Wine - Gregory Alan Isakov
Homesick - Dwara, Khotton Palm
Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers
When I realized how much of a Laudna's POV this song is, I almost cried.
Telepath - Manchester Orchestra
I really really like Manchester Orchestra, it's one of my favorite bands. I never let go of the chance of spreading them around, and this one is the best song they have. Laudna's POV for sure.
everything i wanted - Billie Eilish
With songs like this one and Intertwined, I wanted to introduce the idea that even though they're definitely better off now that they left the town, that doesn't instantly solve all of their problems. As I said before, the past follows, but they're no longer alone with it.
Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers
Intertwined - Dodie
Nothing else matters - Phoebe Bridgers
As long as they're together, nothing else matters.
× You lied ×
Even though I only have a few songs for this precise moment of the story, I thought that it was very important to include their first fight. The gem is broken and Imogen feels betrayed. Laudna is left abandoned and thinks she deserves to be punished for Delilah’s wrongs. We explore jealousy for the first time.
Witches - Daughter
The silence at the end of this instrumental song represents the loneliness that Laudna felt when Imogen left her alone after her incident with Delilah
Landfill - Daughter
There are two possible ways of reading into this one. This is in my opinion a Laudna's POV. She could either be talking to Imogen, expressing her deep rooted desire for a punishment for what she’s done; or to Delilah, alluding to the attachment she has to her own powers (that at least as far as she knows are there because of Briarwood) opposed to the hatred she feels for her and for herself for wanting those powers (this is a theme that they explore later on future chapters)
Are you okay? - Winnetka Bowling League
Afterglow - Taylor Swift
The archer - Taylor Swift
× Laudna’s death ×
Otohan Thull relentlessly kills three members of Bells Hells. A coin is flipped and Laudna is gone, again. What awaits beyond the afterlife? Perhaps a little girl, a monster and a tree.
DVD menu - Phoebe Bridgers
If death’s not exactly DVD menu by Phoebe Bridgers, then someone tell me what’s like because I can’t imagine otherwise. I freaking love how this song connects with Daffodil.
Daffodil - Florence + The Machine
Death with dignity - Sufjan Stevens
Bells in Santa Fe - Halsey
I like to imagine that Laudna didn't appear in Nightmarish Whitestone immediately. Up until this point, she's in a limbo, accepting her own death. Bells in Santa Fe marks the moment she sets foot in that Upside-down kind of world. The constant repetition of “All of this is temporary” is like a mantra for her, the only hope she has of getting through it with her sanity intact is believing that this will also end and she will finally find peace.
Willow Tree March - The paper kiss
Hard times - Ethel Cain
Tether me - Galleaux
With this song and the next one, I wanted to express desperation. We don't get to know in the series how she feels throughout all of this, but I can only imagine how terrifying it must have been. There's a point where anyone would have started begging for help.
Matilda - alt-J
× Imogen’s grief ×
“Is she your favorite?”. Imogen feels deeply guilty for what happened. The possibility of bringing Laudna back is the only thing that’s keeping her from losing it completely. All the regrets, all the words she wishes she said before, all the times she didn’t approached her when she wanted to, come afloat. Grief, disassociation and sorrow.
Words - Storefront Church, Phoebe Bridgers
This song is meant to represent the exact moment of Imogen floating and losing control, with Otohan in her head pushing her to let go.
Goner - Twenty One Pilots
No other song in existence can express better the moment Imogen realize Laudna's gone for good.
Lanterns lit - Son Lux
True Faith - Ashley Johnson
Hurt for me - SYML
Carry you - Novo Amor
My love - Florence + The Machine
Lucky for you - Novo Amor, Gia Margaret
Killer + the sound - Phoebe Bridgers, Noah Gundersen
Should have known better - Sufjan Stevens
Ya'aburnee - Halsey
Show you a body - Haley Heyderickx
Imogen (even Laura) loses hope for a moment during the ritual they do for bringing Laudna back. The end of this song summarize this repeating a lyric over and over (you can clearly see through this playlist how much I love repetition).
× Back together ×
After Bells Hells confront Delilah at the Upside-down-Whitestone of Laudna’s nightmares, Pike manages to bring her back to life. Imogen and her are back hand by hand, and nothing can ever tear them apart again. Here’s where I think something awakes inside them, but they are far from realizing it.
I am the Antichrist to you - Kishi Bashi
Like an angel “fallen from the sky with grace”, Laudna’s back on Imogen’s arms.
Darling - Halsey
This love (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift
Now that you're home - Manchester Orchestra
Lose you again - Manchester Orchestra
Halloween - Phoebe Bridgers
But not kiss - Fayer Webster
Like I said, something changes after this. What they’ve been through is not nothing. This song is here to show that something is born deep inside them, on their subconscious far from their reach yet
× Back to Gelvaan ×
Same as with the “You lied” chapter, I felt that this one was important even though I just have one song for it. It just matches perfectly. Imogen and Laudna visit Imogen’s hometown and the place where they met, searching for answers. Old wounds, some closure and an emotionally absent father.
My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift
× Tethered ×
In this chapter the platonic bond is peaking. It takes place right before The Unraveling, giving in to the “Can I kiss you?” phase and becoming romantic. They’ve been through hell and back just to stay together. This is my personal favorite bit of the playlist, everything is extremely intense but not yet explicit.
Tethered - Sleeping at last
I Will - Mitski
Anchor - Alli X
Don't let them see you cry - Manchester Orchestra
Crosses - José González
Quietly - Manchester Orchestra
Francesca - Hozier
Moon song - Phoebe Bridgers
Capital Karma - Manchester Orchestra
Everywhere, everything - Noah Kahan
In a week - Hozier
Monster - King Princess
j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) - Delaney Bailey
I will follow you into the dark - Miya Folick
I wouldn't ask you - Clairo
× Can I kiss you? ×
Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The beggining of something new, the next and most logical step of this journey. The platonic becomes romantic and they get to truly explore the feelings they always had, and some novel ones. This is the moment I know less about, but I’ve used my imagination and my own headcanons.
Can I - Genevieve Stokes
I debated a lot whether to put this one at the end of the last chapter or the beginning of this one because I don't know how relevant Laudna's death is up to this point, and there's a huge reference to this in this song. I know for a fact that the Delilah’s plot is not over and things will change, but I couldn't resist the urge to put it in here, given the name of the song and its obvious connection to the chapter.
We'll never have sex - Leith Ross
Wading in Waist-high Water - Fleet Foxes
This is the last time - The National
All my ghosts - Lizzy McAlpine
Prière pour la nuit - Barbara Pravi, November Ultra
Chewing Cotton Wool - The Japanese House
Bandages - Rachel Bobbitt
This is it, this is The Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist. I don't know if I'm the first one doing this, probably not, I don't know if this has any value to anyone beyond myself, but I had a hell of a lot of fun. If only one person were to read this till the end I would be more than satisfied.
I’ll link here the playlist that started all of this. Massive respect for this person whoever it is, I took lots of the songs from here
Infinite thanks to anyone who gets here or saves my playlist, feel free to respond with any song that you think adds to the story!! Something tells me this isn't the end of my Imodna brainrot so,,,, more things could be on their way (a fanfic, perhaps?).
No idea how to end this so… long live Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches!!!
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outrunningthedark · 11 months
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i feel like i watch the show the same way you do. i pick up on the ~vibes~ and see how buddie COULD work if they went that route, but i don’t think they ever will and i also see how if they did it would come completely out of left field to a casual viewer
Yep, this is exactly it. I was absolutely 100% in the same boat as the bloggers coming up with ways in which every Buck and Eddie story line can bring us to canon!Buddie back when I first joined fandom (in time for season four) right up through 6x01, but after that...sometime between Eddie not going to Buck to talk about Chris's quest for independence (despite CONFIRMING that if Chris would confide in ANYONE it would be Buck) and Buck actually being a successful sperm donor after what you'd think would have been multiple "signs" from the universe that he shouldn't go through with it...my brain like, rewired itself where I just...stopped looking at everything as a shipper. And listen, there's nothing wrong with only watching a show for a ship - I have admitted many times that the Buckley-Diaz fam is what interests me most because of Chris's presence - but realizing that this show and this ship doesn't dictate my happiness or my reason for existing on tumblr allowed me to step back and take the content for what it is in the moment instead of trying to figure out what secret meaning there could be behind it *if* (I think there are some folks who definitely forget we're speaking in hypotheticals!) the show runners are contemplating making the transition from friends to romantic lovers. Everything we've seen from Buddie so far in s6 is an extension/continuation of something from a previous season, save for Eddie showing legit fear when Buck was dangling from the wire, but...even in his delirious state post-shooting he was worried about Buck, right? The concern was elevated a notch to match the circumstance. (& then Oliver had to come out and be like "Please do not read into it right now. It's how a best friend should react.") The biggest reason why it felt/feels "different" to people is because we just went through well over a full season of both characters in relationships and the show couldn't throw either of them into ANOTHER ONE right away, so we were bound to get Buddie/Buckley-Diaz content while living the single life to mirror s3. The funny thing is, though (it's one more thing nobody wants to point out)...Buddie content outside of work was nonexistent in 6A because of "different dynamics" WHILE THERE WERE NO LOVE INTERESTS. Once 6B came around and Eddie's dating arc was about to start? Once Buck was about to meet Natalia for the first time? Oh. Look who can be friends again. How, exactly, is that different from what we witnessed in s4 and s5? Uh huh. That's what I thought. :)
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Hi Weird Question, but how many followers would you ballpark say you have gotten from posting about qsmp?
I ask this because Ive been on tumblr for a LONG while, I have run multiple fandom blogs and this is the worst follow to notes ratio I have ever gotten for a blog (it is relativity new as well though). I don't want to sound weird and complain about the number of followers I have, but of the 523 posts in my blog, 38 are original posts. I have 236 notes total from those 38. and zero followers. compared to when one of my other blogs was at this size I would have somewhere of a ballpark of 10ish especially with a few posts chilling way above the average of 6 notes
I feel like this could be an issue much like the issue pertaining to people not reblogging stuff, but also I may need to reevaluate the way im interacting with people on this site >_<.
that's kind of a hard question bc i was gaining followers from the trigun fandom very shortly before i started posting about qsmp, so there was a period of overlap, but i guess when i switched to posting primarily about qsmp i would say i've gained approx. 350-400 followers. i typically get anywhere between 100-1000 notes on any qsmp post i make (excluding liveblogging) and i am apparently a more popular blog because i write fanfiction and make analysis posts on occasion which has made me weirdly well known in some places of the fandom and that is terrifying i hate being perceived HELP
ANYWAY i think a better blog to use as an example would be when i had to use a new blog because this one was unfairly flagged for a couple weeks. i used a previously unused sideblog to liveblog and make posts on since posts on my main wouldn't show up in the main tags. i typically got a fair amount of notes, anywhere between 50 to 200 on each post, but i only ended up with maybe 4 or 5 followers on that blog (excluding mutuals i had advised to follow that blog as a backup in case my main went down forever [which it didn't thank fuck]).
honestly?? i assume the lack of following is because a lot of people in this fandom are very wary. qsmpblr likes to hail itself as better than twitter (and it is in some respects for sure, i'm not denying that), but it feels like everyone in this fandom has some kind of Opinion on Something at all times. there's always something to complain about or criticize about anything, whether it be the admins, an event, another cc's character, a cc themself, etc etc. if you follow a person you will be subjected to all of their opinions on every single issue that pops up, even if it's just a dismissal of whatever current discourse is making its way through the tag (and i'm guilty of this myself sometimes, i'm no angel here). there is not a single day that goes by without something negative crossing my dash regarding something that's going on with the smp. doesn't matter what it is, someone will have something to say about some kind of issue no matter what, and that shit gets tiring. sometimes it's better not to follow people lest you find yourself bombarded with opinions. that way you can still scroll your dash without worrying about seeing untagged discourse and infighting and criticism.
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fishshit · 1 year
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i truly think the "a good show makes you crawl on the floor, cry and suffer" mentality tumblr (2010-2016) created is STILL affecting our perception on what is a blorbo or not.
so first of all, let's look at the urban dictionary definition of blorbo:
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NOWHERE on this page is saying a blorbo should be:
toxic
miserable
chaotic
dumbass
you should have a love-hate relationship with them
i'm definitely NOT saying that a blorbo shouldn't be all those things, but these are not necessary for a character to be a blorbo. [Miette (from real life) is a perfect example of this. she's our beloved blorbo and yet she's strong, a genius and non-toxic.]
now, i know most of yall know why i'm writing this. we all are aware of the active warzone tumblr has got going on. now to get to my point,
i know voltron fandom went apeshit over ships, created langst tags and stuff. (tbh i've learned all of these recently) but let's sit and think why. i've mentioned in one of my posts or rbs that the only thing i vividly remember about voltron is the queerbaiting and i know for a fact that queerbaiting was one of the biggest factors of these... actions. now when we look at yoi, we see a rather more peaceful fandom. is it because the show had a weaker chokehold on its fans? absolutely not.
i can assure you if yoi queerbaited us the way voltron did, there would be a chaos. and i'm not saying it in the way fans going crazy is funny or shit, no. i'm saying this as in real life chaos, like fans would threaten the creators or create their own reality. they WOULD remake yoi. there aren't any ship wars because victuuri (victor nikiforov x yuuri katsuki) is the ultimate ship, like there aren't any other possible options. nearly every single fan fell straight for victuuri. now think about how many fans are there and how many of them ships victuuri like they're praying to god itself. victuuri made me cry for DAYS, the plottwist was absolutely brilliant and no, none of these emotions were negative but god knows no show on earth made me feel the way yoi did. i'm not saying yoi is the best show ever or it's flawless. we all know our shows (blorbos are from) are generally not the best medias ever. but the way me and so many other fans bonded with this show, these 2 characters (or maybe 3, i don't like yurio that much) and that ship is indescribable. after watching yoi, i've realised that your favourite show doesn't necessarly need to make you feel like you've been stabbed in the chest bazillion times and suffer. no, it also can make you feel like you're on the verge of exploding with the white and shining happiness and love. i'm also pretty sure that's what most of the yoi fans feel, and also sure that no other show would make me feel the same way i felt while watching yoi.
yuuri katsuki, the man who made me feel all those things along with his husband victor nikiforov, is:
a canon bi king who had a crush on probably the prettiest girl in his childhood town and then got engaged to his lifelong idol (also probably the prettiest man in figure skating and,, the world)
anxious disaster (like, it's canon that he has anxiety and he was quite relatable and important for the fans with anxiety) who manages to say the MOST ridiculous stuff and yet tries his best to communicate with people about his needs and weaknesses
world's one of the best skater yet he's unaware how much of an pride he is for his country, fans and family and how good he is. STILL breaks his idols (literal legend of the figure skating) score
made irl queer people cry over him and figure skaters fall for him
got drunk af on the banquet of the gpf which he lost (BECAUSE HIS DOG DIED) and drank over 16 flutes of champagne AND DID POLEDANCE WITH THE SLUTTIEST MAN EVER, DANCED WITH HIS IDOL, WON A BREAKDANCE COMPETITION WITH HIS SOON-TO-BE RIVAL AND THEN DRY HUMPED HIS IDOL WHILE ASKING HIM TO BE HIS COACH
my point is, just because a character doesn't go through hell or make you feel like shit doesn't mean that he isn't a blorbo. you still can think that lance is more of a blorbo, good for you! but i really don't think we need fantasy to feel good.
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sublightsleeper · 5 months
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
@willowmckinley tagged me!
1. How many works do you have on ao3? 74! Man it really doesn't feel like I've written that much.
2. What's your total ao3 word count? 227,559!
3. What fandoms do you write for? Justified and wrestling most often. Then one offs for things that made me crazy.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1) Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot (MCU, Starker). 2) Every Animal Has Rules (Nope, Angel/OJ) 3) I Try To Picture Me Without You (Moon Knight, Steven/Marc) 4) Six Years (MCU, Starker) 5) Fine By Me (Ted Lasso, Isaac/Colin)
It's hilarious to me that that 35 of my fics are Justified and not a single one cracks the top 5.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! But currently my inbox on Ao3 is 400 deep so uh. I'm working on it! Sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes I just don't know what to say in response. But I greatly appreciate every comment I get!
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? So I personally think it's It Matters Where You Live. It's MCD and grief and I went Through It writing it. But if I go with the emotional trauma I've caused on the server, it's Buttermilk.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I had to think really hard about this, because mostly I write smut and sadness. But if I had to pick one, it's probably Every Animal Has Rules because it leaves it on a note of hope and happiness.
8. Do you get hate on fics? So...not directly on Ao3? I've gotten a deluge of 'kill yourself' messages on tumblr in the past, but it mostly just made me more nonchalant about the gross shit I write. But yeah thankfully no mean comments.
9. Do you write smut? Hell yeah I do.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I enjoy them immensely! Haven't written a lot. I think the only one on Ao3 is And Having Been Set Free which is Justified/Supernatural. Because I am a cliche.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I am privileged I guess because I was not even aware that was a thing.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Someone asked once I think? Probably on an MCU fic.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope! But I share the 'Out My Back Door' series with @itookyoudown!
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? Oh lord. I cannot do all time. Recency bias my beloved. Currently enjoying Sanji/Luffy/Zoro. Long time loves are Malec, Alfie/Tommy and Givenson.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? A Malec fic based very, very loosely on Crazy Rich Asians. I had big plans and an outline and the final season just took the winds right out of my sails.
16. What are your writing strengths? Oh boy, I am not good at saying nice things about myself. My visuals, maybe? I'd like to think it's my ability to portray emotion, but who knows.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing things. Being hyper sensitive to things most people wouldn't even call criticism. If I write a gift fic (which whoo boy learned my lesson on that one) and it doesn't get the exact range of response I want, it really kicks me in the emotional balls. Which isn't fair to me or anybody else. So I'm really working on 1) finishing things before I post any. And 2) writing for myself so I don't end up disappointed.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I am monolingual. I might slip a curse word in another language but beyond that, I'll go with the tried and true italics.
19. First fandom you wrote for? Oh Jesus. Uh...Dragon Ball Z, I think. Self insert fic at like 12. Yikes. I printed it on fancy parchment paper too.
20. Favorite fic you've written? And Everything Went Black - Wrestling fic, MoxEddie. To this day it's probably my favorite thing I've written. (Stefon voice: It's got everything!) Demon possession, weird visuals, dreams as metaphors and two dudes in love. Nowhere near a popular thing but my beloved.
@fourtacosandaburrito @blizzardsuplex @batboymilo @theaerialassassin @hoodyhoo
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aerodaltonimperial · 6 months
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Firstly, you are wonderful and fantastic and I adore all of creations. ♥️
Secondly, keep in mind that the thing about Imposter Syndrome means that you inherently know you DO have the ability! If you actually didn't, it couldn't be Imposter Syndrome. You can't feel it without really being absolute ace at whatever it is you do. ♥️♥️
Thirdly, an actual question: Is there anything else your friends and fans can do to help? This is anon, but only because it doesn't matter who I am, only that I'm pretty damn sure I speak for everyone when I say you're awesome. And you could choose to never create again, and I would still think you're awesome. ♥️♥️♥️
Okay, I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to make sure I answered this! Because first off, thank you SO much. ❤️ That honestly means so much, and I'm so grateful that you took the time to say it, and I really can't explain how much I appreciate this. ❤️❤️ You are probably correct with the imposter syndrome thing, haha, but that's also a lot of other things bleeding over into fandom. But the reason that it's bleeding over, I think, is partly because of current engagement.
Unfortunately, fic engagement has been dwindling for months. And I am SO GRATEFUL to everyone who is here reading and interacting and leaving comments, because you are AMAZING and you are actual heroes and I want to shower you all with so much love. But in terms of the overall, it's been going steadily down, and as it turns out, that's actually really demoralizing. Tumblr is a wasteland of posting ficlets or snippets, and honestly AO3 is only slightly better. And anyone who writes know how much motivation one single comment can provide!!
Now, I know there are likely a hundred reasons for this. I pretty much left a big popular pairing! I totally understand if people were only reading for that! And I am not a smut writer - I mean, I try, but it's just not my forte, haha, and that's what a lot of people are in fandom for, and again, this is completely valid!! I'm not (with the exception of Orange/Hook) writing anything that's a current running storyline - so again, totally valid, people are into what's unfolding every week. I understand that I may simply not be writing what people want. This is totally valid. This is totally fine!! Again, NOT BAD OR WRONG.
I'm just struggling with it, as fandom is one of the only things I do. I work, I parent, I run, and I.... watch wrestling. I consume no other media. I simply don't have time. So I end up starting to wonder, oh, if people are tired of me and my fic, that's fine, but maybe I don't need to bother? Like, I will probably still write, but maybe just not post it? And Vamp and I have had discussions about this, as things sort of just went quiet. Do we want to keep writing? Or do we just sort of... stop? (We love creating so much though.) So I guess to your question, I miss the interactions. I miss the engagement. I miss having all of that because we are all excited about something. And maybe that's simply not something that is possible now with how fractured fandom is, how busy people are, how many of our performers are out. But that's what I miss. Times change, and I'm likely holding onto what it was like 6 months ago through nostalgia, but haha. 🤣 it's been hard to adjust to, I think.
Thanks for popping this into my inbox. ❤️❤️ I really appreciate that you took the time to do so. ❤️❤️
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aisalynn · 6 months
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20 questions for fic writers!
Tagged by @rriavian! Thank you! Tagging @jaynovz and @queenofattolia (only if you guys want to) but please, any other writers who want to join in do so!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
72. Though I do have stories on livejournal that I haven't moved over. (I still might) and some on FF.net that I probably will not move over. My very first fanfiction from when I was a preteen is on there and the quality is not that great, lol
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
279,551 words on AO3. Though again, that is not my full total of words posted during my time in fandom.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Primarily The Sandman right now, thought I do still plan on revisiting Black Sails and finish my Twisted Creatures story at least. I have written fanfiction for early 25 years now and I have participated in a lot of different fandoms.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Bloom - Good Omens fic. Crowley buys a plant he can't get to bloom. Expression of trauma explored through gardening.
Very Peculiar Feeling - Also Good Omens. Based on a tumblr post that talked about how as a demon it physically burned Crowley to look at or be around Aziraphale since hew as an angel. Like stepping on holy ground.
Tulpen - Ted Lasso. A short coda to the Holland episode.
The Truth about Eros - Black Sails fic. Silverflint. Soulmate fic based on Plato's Symposium. Some people are born Fated, which means they experience the sensations of someone else. Doesn't guarantee a happy ending, however, and Silver knew this long before he met the one he was Fated to.
upon the tedious shores - Black Sails and Silverflint again. A look at all the names Silver went by in his life.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! Or at least I try to. Sometimes it takes me a while, either just because I am swamped with other stuff and then I forget or because I really want to take my time and give a thoughtful answer. I appreciate every single one and often re-read them. Even for old fics or fandoms I don't write for anymore. It keeps me motivated.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oof. I have a few angsty fics. I like to do episode codas and a lot of times that resulted in just processing the angst that was going on in canon at the time. Also there was a point in college where I was obsessed with season 6 of Buffy and that is just angst angst angst. But, I think my most angsty would probably have to be Between These Four Wheels , which is just ALL angst. I literally wrote it through tears just minutes after the season finale of Supernatural season 5 ended. If you watched that when it aired, you know.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I have written several happy endings. And some one-shots that are just happy in general. The Truth about Eros does have a happy ending, despite the angst. The happiest though? I don't know. Maybe Very Peculiar Feeling? I am particularly fond of epilogue for that one, anyway.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No, not really. I have gotten people go on about hating a specific character in canon or something, but I don't think I have ever had hate directed at me or my writing.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I have been getting more comfortable with my smut writing the last year or so. I do think I lean more toward 'this is emotional and an exploration of their characters and relationship' than 'here is something horny and fun' but I read and value both types! Maybe as my skills in writing it get better I will be more confident in posting the fun horny stuff. who knows.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I do not. Though sometimes its fun to talk about different character interactions, I don't particularly like reading or writing crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I am aware of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have! And I recently had someone message me about translating one of my Corintheus fics. I am always thrilled to have my work translated/podficed/drawn. It makes me want to squeal with glee that someone likes my work enough to make stuff for it. I just ask that you link me to it and that you don't submit my stuff to any kind of AI, even translating AI.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not fanfiction. Back in the day (like when I was a kid. Decades ago) I used to belong to a young writers forum where co writing and roleplay writing was a big thing. Haven't really done it since. Not completely opposed to the idea, I just worry that I am a little unreliable in my writing habits to have someone else's enjoyment of writing depend on me.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Corintheus is my current fav, but I am a multifandom and multishipper at heart. I also love Hobrinthian, Hobrintheus and Dreamling just in The Sandman fandom. Silverflint from Black Sails owns a significant part of my heart. Spuffy from BTVS has been a decades long love affair, Sarah/Jareth from Labyrinth was what got me into fanfiction when I was like, 12 years old and always have a special place for me. Also Spirk. The Ultimate Fandom Ship. Oh, and House/Wilson from House, which was the first show I watched religiously every week. See what I mean? Hard to choose an all time fav.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Never say never, but there is a Thorin/Bilbo courtship fic in my docs that I reread every now and then and think "I would love to finish this!" and never do. I do have some other unfinished ones--Close Quarters from Once Upon a Time being one of them--that I really don't have any desire to revisit, and then several WIP that I still plan to, even if I am not actively working on them at the moment. They'll keep.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I like to think I am pretty good at characterizations. I have gotten feedback that reinforces that, especially when it comes to capturing voice in dialogue. I have always liked to write little missing scenes and codas that could fit into canon and so try really hard to get into the character's heads in order to do that. Also, apparently my horror and gore descriptions are getting pretty good, which I am please with, as horror is a genre I am really enjoying right now.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Action scenes. Which also means sex scenes. So awkward to write sometimes. Also, brevity. I think sometimes I do get too carried away with character's thoughts or descriptions. I have read short fics where people manage to lay out a scene or story or emotion so simply with such well placed words its like watching a skilled artist sketch out a beautiful drawing with a few pencil lines, and I am just not good at that. I often ramble too much and end up having to cut lines and trim down my fic in the editing process.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Uh, I may put a phrase or two in sometimes, but I don't really trust translators to get things right and don't speak any language other than my own fluently enough to write it so it sounds natural.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter I think? Not the first fandom I read, but it was the first one I wrote for. I was 12 or 13 and I posted it on ff.net. Those stories are still there, and they are not very good, lol.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
That is really hard to pick! Old Bones has been a labor of love. I got pretty self indulgent with that one and I am liking a lot of the prose that is coming from it. The Truth about Eros is one I am very proud of as a whole. I put a lot of thought into Twisted Creatures, and though it stalled out when I was going through a mental and physical health crisis I do dearly hope to pick it back up and finish it. And while I never wrote anything long or in depth for the Buffy fandom, I am very fond of the one-shots I wrote. It's hard to pick a favorite because I have been pretty much writing since I first learned to form sentences on paper as a kid, so whenever I reread anything I wrote it also becomes a little time capsule for what I was going through and feeling and expressing at the time, and it is hard to separate all that from the writing to say "Yes. This is my favorite."
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madstronaut · 10 days
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baby's first soap fic (redux)
re-wrote this with the wrath of a thousand suns burning out after discovering my original post somehow disappeared/got deleted (even though the link was still in my masterpost? smh)
Reading: love you from afar by @roosterr
i found this while first tiptoeing into the depths of cod fandom on tumblr after huffing the gateway drug of simping for COD men (ghost fanart/fics) and the way johnny is portrayed here is what made me start looking up soap fics <3
once again so many absolutely delicious tropes here, key being clueless reader - though i vibe with reader being like "oh i guess im the person to leave a little treat for myself to find after a long day like my favorite choco on my bed" big mood reader, big mood - i aspire to your imaginary self-care standards
also johnny willing to bridal carry you after getting hurt and willing to stay with you at the docs? keep these kind of friends close <3
not me running to google language/meaning of flowers after roosty mentioned they were gardenias
i was late to the soap is canonically an artist/kept a journal game and freaking love it when writers incorporate it into their fics <3 also really brings to mind the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" - i have drawn/been drawn by friends and etc. and truly so touching to see how your love ones see you through their art <3
i also love that soap panics when his little secret project gets outed to gaz and co. who already know about his crush - i fucking love having wholesome little secrets with the intent to commit random acts of love/kindness/chaotic good/etc. etc.
"someone went in your room while you were gone?" ghost's low voice caught your attention, "bit creepy, innit," he grumbled, his gaze darting between you and somewhere next to you.
"christ…" ghost mutters, shaking his head in exasperation.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA GHOST YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CHILL
"could be a good bonding exercise," price had the same entertained tone in his voice as he looked between the four of you, "any thoughts, soap?"
please god i would commit crime to read teh side group chat where they absolutely roast soap for his antics...and reader for how fucking clueless she is
i vibrated out of my seat at excitement of plot twist of fake!admirer sending a fake note and wanting to meet reader, 10/10 storytelling *chefs kisses*
also "hey sarge" to reader? yes we love a girlboss (is this still a pc term? idk someone correct me if its not, still catching up to the barbification of slang words and reclaiming of feminine power with 'girlmath' and 'girldinner' etc etc)
"in fact, i don't actually know you at all. i couldn't recall your name even if you held a gun to my head." FUCK YES MY QUEEN FUCKING GET HIM FUCKING STEP ON HIM *sry busy morphing into that rabid dog barking gif to hype reader up*
when johnny says your name in that deep, gravelly tone, your heart skips a beat and your eyes snap to meet his. "who was it." he asks, but it's not a question anymore, and every fibre of your being is telling you to just give in to him.
my god when the quiet/sweet/always happy-go-lucky ones get angry it is so hot terrifying
and UNF THE LETTER!!!!!! THE LETTER. Every single fucking thing about the letter is pure perfection and sunlight "you're my person" 🥺🥺🥺 THE STRAIGHT-UP I LOVE YOU *claps johnny on back for saying it straight*🥺🥺🥺 signing off with "your heart" 🥺🥺🥺
i love how reader immediately takes off running, fucking yes queen GO GET YOUR MANS??? HURRY THE FUCK UP???
the two of you stay like that for moments that feel like hours in each other's embrace, only pulling away when your lungs are burning and your lips are swollen. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
"yer stayin' with me tonight, non negotiable." he murmurs, running a hand up and down the length of your spine. lmao negotiable?? sir??? reader did not even stand a chance??? who could tbh
last but not least, i learned the meaning of bawbag by googling it via reading this fic so once again, another absolute banger of a fic for cod fandom, ty for filling my heart soul ovaries brain with some much needed and at times completely useless light love and lore <3
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luvwich · 3 months
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2023 in review
(for real this time)
the short version: i started writing fanfic this year. it's been lovely. i've written two longfics with some spinoffs, all collected into two series, plus a one-shot. i wrote 242,000 words.
91.9 Royal Blue is Valerie and River being angsty idiots
Hypercritical is Vania and Tiny Mike being angsty idiots
and Red-black is an ultra-short oneshot about Songbird; no idiots, just angst
this is also my first time even engaging in a fandom in this way, and i've been delighted to become acquainted with you tumblr folks. i'll echo the sentiment i see a lot: that even if all we've done is reblog each other a few times with blathering tags, i see you as a friend, and you have done me an enrichment.
much longer version under the cut:
before this year, my only experience writing any kind of fiction was roleplaying - ages and ages ago, but something of an illustrious career, looking back. it was actually not bad practice when it came to flowery description, dialogue, and characterization. it was horrible preparation on the matter of actually constructing a plot.
then i saw River Ward's arms and realized i needed to figure out how to do plot, and quick!
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Arpeggio
so like many of us, i thought river was dreamy and his quests totally unsatisfying. i also saw someone shit-talking River somewhere complain that their corpo V would never want to hang out with river because he’s an unemployed cop living with his sister, blah blah blah classist tripe, don’t get me started, but it did get me started thinking about what it would look like for a bitchy corpo V and river to fall in love. Valerie sprang from that; Arpeggio sprang from Valerie.
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hi, Valerie.
so, i thought i just wanted to write a steamy river ward romance that was more satisfying than the meatless canon plot. it turns out i wanted to write an ode to everything wrong about myself, and to every shitty relationship i've had, and to death and loss. it happens. here's how it starts:
Thwap-bap! Synleather on synleather: two strong, clean hits to the punching bag. Thwapbapbap. A sandstorming morning, or afternoon — hard to keep track of time with the sun hidden and the world bathed in rust. Days like this you couldn’t even see the skyline out there; all you had was a twenty-foot radius, and within that you could imagine yourself just about anywhere. River had always kind of enjoyed the storms for that reason.
i pumped out the first eleven chapters in like a month (?!), posting as i went, from late march through april. i was shocked to get even one reader, and didn't get a lot more than that for a long while. then i fell off for a little while due to work. but then i received a single, innocent comment asking when the next chapter would be posted, and that was apparently enough to make another thirteen chapters fly out of me just in june and july.
around then i hit what i think of as the third and final "act" of Arpeggio, and the wind fell out of my sails again. i'd hit the 100k mark, had no idea if anyone was even reading it, and convinced myself the last ten chapters i'd posted were garbage and everyone had fallen off. i still loved my story & my characters, i was bursting with ideas, but felt the sudden pressure of needing to wrap everything up in a way that did justice to my vision and didn't waste anyone's time who'd bothered to read that far.
as with everything in my life, i had only the vaguest idea of how i was going to get to where i was going. i decided to batten down the hatches and actually try to plan how to get there, which slowed my pace some.
i also decided to start something new, with the express purpose of giving myself something light-hearted, sexy, and most importantly way the fuck shorter than Arpeggio to work on while i was finishing up the latter. i'd limit myself to ten chapters. i'd keep the plot tight and focused. there'd be a lot of fucking. yay! and a big part of the intent was to "prove to myself" that i could finish something. and so i started on:
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Jaded
Arpeggio featured Tiny Mike as a fling, and it was played for awkwardness and absurdity, but i found him really fun to write. i had also just started a new playthrough with a new V (still a corpo — i'm really just a particular kind of bitch, truth be told), so i thought i'd throw her into some mischief.
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hi Vania.
if Valerie is the parts of me that suck and are chaotic, Vania is all the scared and cute parts.
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man, look at them!! *throws them both in the bug zapper*
i managed to finish Jaded in the space of about a month, from july-august. i thought it turned out wicked fun, and clicking "post" on that final chapter gave me a taste of satisfaction and accomplishment that was enough to see me through to the end of Arpeggio.
here's an excerpt from the first chapter.
Sundays always mean something. They mean something even to a dropout merc who hasn't seen the inside of a house of God in years. The last time Mike had been to church, the price of a can of ChroManticore was in the single-digit eurodollars. Even so, Sunday's no day to spend propped against a bathtub that's coated with a half inch of unidentified bio-pudding, no day to spend wheezing at death's doorstep, no day to be wondering where the smell of yourself ends and the smell of the squalid safehouse begins. Sundays are for family, beers, cleaning your guns. Not this shit.
then PL came out and i wrote a quick oneshot about Songbird.
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Red-black
i could easily write more about Red-black than there are actual words in the thing, but i won't. it's a bittersweet 69 sesh with a cyborg. it's about betrayal and bodies. i'm pleased with it. i might expand on it one day, but to be frank, i don't think i can write extensively about Songbird in a way the character deserves without my life being in a way darker place than it is right now. so if you see me add a second chapter to this fic, maybe check in on me.
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i finished Arpeggio in october, seven months after i started posting it. 154,347 words. i like how it turned out. i've finally stopped going back to make tweaks (although just the other day i was re-reading a chapter and was like what the fuck is this word choice? what did i even mean here? and i changed it, so i guess that was a lie. Valerie is based on me, folks!).
i'm proud of it and everything else i've written, even in moments when all i can see is flaws upon re-reading. some people read it all the way through, which is wild to me! some of them even say they liked it! world's a crazy place.
here's an excerpt from toward the end.
Wind gathered over the churning Pacific to chap her lips and ruin her hair, snarling it like the waves which crashed the battered wood. Soft gusts billowed through her jacket, touched the base of her spine, and reminded her that everything was so very enormous, and that she was yet alive, and that a great spirit ruled this ocean and always had. This is lovely, Johnny said, resting an unreal hand on her shoulder. But we gotta get back to work, princess. “Yeah. Well, let’s go check out some shops, first.”
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i came to cyberpunk 2077 pretty late — i didn't play the game until late in 2022, and missed the heyday. why am i so into it? why am i here (so very, very much here)?
here i’ll share something pretty personal regarding why this, of all fandoms, captured me.
my father was diagnosed with brain cancer five years ago. when you’re diagnosed with brain cancer, they'll tell you that jimmy carter had it and hey, dude’s still alive! they don’t tell you, unless you ask nicely, that you’ll probably just die in a few months.
well, the latter is what we got. he died three months after the diagnosis. this completely reshaped my attitude toward death and life. and it feels really odd sharing this in light of the fact that what i write is so self-indulgent and smutty and goofy and dark, but the themes of cp77 just rang in me like a bell because of this experience, and it's kind of why i'm here.
that, plus all the hot people and cool weapons.
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in 2024 i probably won't write as many words, but i have a few things planned:
more Vania: Crescent & Redwood is an ongoing sequel to Jaded and a fix-it for one of the PL endings
weatherman says there's an 85% chance of more Tiny Mike porn appearing under Fixer-uppers (and obviously a 100% chance of it in Crescent)
more Valerie: i have some more Val and Riv plotted out — mostly casefics and slices of life — but i need to be in a real fucking mood to write her these days
a really quite raunchy romp with President Myers is almost done baking
i have a Solomon Reed ditty on the backburner
who the fuck knows
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anyway, even if all you've read of my writing was a snippet or two i've shared on tumblr, thanks so much for reading. seeya in '24.
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