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sleepywinchester · 7 years

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Mysterious Hazelnut Pt. IX | REAL CHAPTER

Summary: Coffee have always been key to lighten up your mood in cloudy days. Specially when its made by your favorite barista.

Author: @sleepywinchester prev. deanwincehster-af | Mobile Masterlist

Pairings: Barista!Sam x Plus Size!Reader

Words: 5.2k

Warnings: Kind of Angst. Language.

A/N: THIS IS A REAL CHAPTER LOL I’m kinda sorry for fooling y’all on April Fools into thinking that chapter real. This chapter is really long and it’s mostly backstory and introduction of new characters into the history. Really hope you guys like this, if you do, please leave me a comment or message? I love those and motivate me so much. Feedback makes me feel like this is not crap lol Anyway! Enjoy and till the next one! xoxox.

The road back to the place you once called home was just like you remembered it; dark, empty and long. While Dean and Melissa drove in Dean’s SUV, you were holding onto Sam on his Harley. Scott noticed your boyfriend’s good taste for wheels, you saw it in his smug stare as he watched you hop on the bike.

Riding alongside Scott for two days straight, brought memories of the long rides you would take with him. Some of the were just for fun, others would be club business related. It didn’t matter the reasons behind them, riding alongside your brother was something you used to enjoy deeply. The both of you would put aside the club and have fun, it didn’t matter how short it lasted.

The Wolves of California wasn’t just a motorcycle club, it was a lifestyle, it was a family and one that came with a price. To be part of that life you needed to be dedicated and that wasn’t something you wanted to be a part of after Max died. His recent death overshadowed the good memories, after his funeral your eyes opened.

“Welcome to Charming,” you mumbled as the sign became something on Sam’s bike rear mirror.

Soon enough you began to recognize the path Scott was leading. Your brother always have been the popular guy since he was a teenager or even a little boy. Everyone in this small town knew who Scott Telford was. It showed as he was in front, waving at a couple of people that were walking on the sidewalk. You knew who these people were, you grew up with them, even went to highschool with some. Charming was a small town where everyone knew everyone. Subtly you shifted your face and hide behind Sam’s back.

Suddenly the Teller and Morrow Garage came to view and with it thousands of memories. It amazed you how good it looked from the outside. You were curious if the club house still looked the same after all these years. Seconds later the club house came to sight. Your heart skipped a beat to see two familiars faces hanging outside.

Scott’s glance found you and he followed your look to the man with long hair sitting on top of the wood table. Your brother scoffed with a teasing smile.

“Yeah,” Scott breathed out after parking his bike. “He’s still around.”

You tried to ignore his comment and keep bottle up the urge to punch him. Sam who parked his bike next to Scott’s looked at you.

“Who still around?” Sam asked taking off his helmet and putting his hair back into a half bun.

“Nobody-,” you tried to speak before Scott but it was too late.

“Her ex,” Scott spoke over you, complimenting his words with a teasing smile. He glanced towards the clubhouse, “the one with long hair.” He turned back to see Sam’s reaction.

Sam breathed heavily and clenched his jaw, “Any other surprises I need to know?”

“No,” you sighed hopping off Sam’s bike.

You continued to fix your clothes and grab your maroon bag from Dean’s trunk. It didn’t took the guys much time to recognize your presence as you walked towards the club house. The first to freak out was Happy, one of the only sociopath’s and nut case you loved in this world. His nickname was odd as the large amount of happy faces tattooed to his body. One happy face per killing.

“No. Fucking. Way!” Happy shouted.

You flashed a grin, extending your arms and watched him run faster in your direction. It wasn’t a surprise when Happy suddenly wrapped his arms around your hips and lifted you. He began to do spin in circles as he screamed ‘Ahhhh’ like a crazy but immensely excited person.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Happy shouted, “This is fucking amazing!”

It was impossible to be mad with him. Since you were a kid this man always knew how to make you laugh until your stomach ache.

“I am,” letting out a squeal as he kept spinning, “but I’m dizzy now.” You chuckled, “Can I get back to the floor, Hap?”

“Okay!” Happy put you down and watched you chuckle. He scratched the back of his almost bald head, the happiness in his eyes was immense. “I missed you so much kiddo.” His wide smile and sparkly eyes couldn’t believe you were actually standing in front of him.

You sighed with a smile and hugged him quickly, “I missed you too, Hap.”

“Did you missed me, laddie?” Scott wrapped his toned arm around Hap’s neck. The both grown men laughing as they playfully wrestled for a minute. “I’m so fucking hungry,” Scott spoke as everyone walked towards the clubhouse. “Did the lads cooked anything? We’re back!”

You watched your brother shout and kick the door wide open and walking inside. His kick made it wide enough for you to get some glimpses of the interior. For where you stood, it looked just like old memories and you wanted to see more. Scott laughed to the top of his lungs inside. You couldn’t see him but there was no doubt he was being mobbed by fellow club members.

It wasn’t until then that your eyes connected with Tyson’s cold stare. When you left six years ago, you caused a lot of pain to the club and family. That day there wasn’t a lot of goodbyes but the one you gave to him was the hardest one. Tyson was your partner and confident. You loved him and you were supposed to marry him. Instead you decided to leave the engagement ring over his bed and walk way selfishly.

Dean, Melissa and Sam, unsure glances let you know they didn’t had the remotely idea of how to act in this new environment. They didn’t know if stroll into the clubhouse and follow your brothers steps or to stay outside and wait for you to give them a heads up. Strolling inside without knowing everyone in the club or being a patched up member or prospect wasn’t the greatest or smartest idea. They needed to be formally introduced to the club. Back in Chicago you almost begged Dean and Melissa to stay, bringing Sam with you was dangerous, bringing two more people with you to this town heighten your concern. Given the fact that this town and The Wolves weren’t the biggest fans of strangers.

When you were about to let your friends and boyfriend know to stay put, the one and only Chibs Telford strolled out of the club house. The aura of superiority and completely confidence roamed around the Irish man. Chibs Telford wore his leather and sins with pride, the dark shades disguising his dull eyes. He used to tell people you had your mother’s glare, when the truth was that piercing glare was his heritage.

Your father put the shades inside his black leather cut. Piece of clothing that represented his club, the president’s patch represented his status in the club. He’s been using that same cut for years, it showed on the lines around the neck and the couple of re-construction stitches. The ambient shifted into a quiet and tense one when he walked out.

Years have passed but Chibs still glared at you with the same betrayal look, he gave you six years ago. It wasn’t like you expected his reaction to be like Happy’s or his glance to be as excited as Trig’s or Rat’s. Your father’s glance was the look someone you used to know but don’t trust anymore. You understood the glance and where he stood without speaking with him. He needed you but he definitely didn’t trusted you like he used to.

“Would you look at that,” your father let the smoke out, his face remained neutral. “She came back to this nasty town after all.”

His words made you reminisce of the day you left, the last words you said were, “I’ll never come back to this nasty town’. It was quite surprising, you hoped for a higher level of bitterness in his tone and words. You scoffed, breathing in the harsh tasting air.

“What can I say?” you shrugged, “I’m a woman full of surprises.”

Your father scoffed with a half grin, “You got that right.” Chibs lost the focus on you and glanced at Sam, Dean and Melissa that stood a couple steps near you. “Who are these people, Y/N? You know we don’t like strangers in our town.”

One thing you noticed that his voice got thicker and huskier, making his Irish accent and barely understandable. ‘Probably the side effect of smoking two packs of cigarettes on the daily basis.

You turned to look at your friends who were standing straighter than a pole. “These people are my friends, Dean and Melissa,” you pointed at them, “and Sam.”

“Let me guess, the boyfriend,” your father’s eyes connected with your boyfriend’s. The two of them had a stare off for a moment, Sam not letting him show any type of weakness. Chibs scoffed shortly as he glanced away to the parking lot. You knew what he was doing a little too well, he was looking for Sam’s wheels.

“Nice bike, lad,” Chib looked at Sam as he took the last drag of his cigarette and shifted his glance towards you. “Thought you wanted to get out of the life,” he spoke sarcastically. “Guess ‘biker boyfriends’ were too good to stay away from.”

You mimicked his unamused scoff, “I’m not here to listen your sarcastic comments, dad.”

“Well, I’m happy you’re here!” Trig hold your shoulders, giving them a soft shake. “Let’s go inside, have a couple shots and talk.” He tried to ease the tension with his smile and fresh tone.

You breathed in deeply and faked a smile, “Yeah. We can talk about the family issues later.”

Instead of saying something sarcastic back, your dad’s glance traveled around everyone before turning around and strolling into the clubhouse. Once the door shut behind him, you glanced at Trigger’s, the man with the piercing grey eye look. He could be the coldest man on earth to everyone outside the club. But to you he was the uncle you never had.

“Uncle Trig!” you hugged him.

He hugged you back tightly, “Baby.” He said the word smoothly, “It’s been so long. I’ve missed you.”

“I know…,” you looked at him, “I’m sorry, for leaving and-”

“Shh,” Trig shook his head with an understanding smile, “you don’t need to apologize. Let’s go inside and get you and your friends something to drink. I’m sure it was a long trip.”

“You coming, Ty?” You heard Happy in the background asking your ex-boyfriend.

After a brief silence Tyson replied saying, “Na’...” You oddly felt his eyes on you, “I have work to do back at the garage… Call me when everyone goes to church.”

You’d be lying to yourself if hearing his deep voice made your entire body shiver. Tyson Danielson was once someone very important in your life. Back in the day where things were hard but you live through it.

“Hmmm,” Melissa grabbed your arm, making you realize you were staring at Tyson. “I don’t know about you but… I see some resemblance.” She said turning her look to Sam who is talking with Dean.

“I have a type alright,” you muttered as you strolled into the clubhouse.

Melissa chuckled, “A great type.”

You shook your head ignoring Melissa’s comment and your inner thoughts about Tyson. Looking around the inside of the clubhouse. It was just like you remembered.

“Wow,” your pupils scanning the entire place. “It looks the same-” Your eyes glanced at the bar, where your dad was having a beer with Scott. You turned to see Sam, Dean and Melissa also staring at The Wolves headquarters. “Like the explosion never happened.”

“It took us a long time,” Scott spoke, “but we got it done.”

You turned to your brother and shared a smile with him. The feeling of being in this place was so strange, it wasn’t like you remembered, and it surely wasn’t as horrible as you thought it would be. Being in this place where you once called home brought so many memories. You could hear your mother’s steps and her voice around. It was like she was here in spirit.

As you kept looking around, you saw the wall of fame, “Oh my, God,” you spoke amused. “Did you guys really put this thing back on?”

You turned to look at Scott’s guilty face over your shoulder. Turning back you stared at the wall full of mug shots of all past and present member of The Wolves. Scott, Sam, Dean and Melissa stood by your side, also staring at the pictures in the wall.

“You didn’t turned my mugshot upside down,” you spoke staring at your first mugshot hanging on the wall. It was a weird sensation to see how tough, angry yet amused you looked in that photo.

“I couldn’t,” Scott mumbled, “I told dad to do it if he wanted to,” he looked down to you. “He also couldn’t… Neither of us could. You are too important to this club, Y/N. You’re family and we couldn’t put you as a traitor... Not even if the law said it.”

“As a traitor?” Sam spoke, “If someone leaves the club, that makes them a traitor?”

You looked at Sam and nodded, turning back to the wall full of mugshots, “Guess I’m lucky to be the president’s daughter.”

There’s when your eyes found Max’s picture hanging in the front row next to his old man, who also died in a motorcycle accident. Taking the photo off the wall, you hold it and turned your body facing everyone in the room. You had the urges to cry as you stared down at the picture of Max, “I miss him.”

“We all do,” your father spoke softly for the first time.

Happy handled you a shot of bourbon and did the same for Dean, Sam and Melissa.

“For Max,” your dad rose his beer.

You rose yours and glanced at him, “For Max.”

////

“Alright girls, you know the drill,” your father spoke leaving his phone inside the old cigars box over the pool table on his way into the chapel. “Trig, call Tyson!” He shouted and glanced over his shoulder to see you already staring at him. He slightly smirked on and continued his way to his seat.

Your eyes narrowed suspicious of your dad’s look, either he was planning something or his plan was already in motion. Ignoring the conspiracy thoughts, you turned around and to see Scott holding something you once cherished.

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” instantly your mouth dropped as you grabbed the leather cut off your brother’s hands. “I thought I’d never see this again,” you said as you looked at the piece of clothing.

It remained like your memory of it; beautiful and badass.

Scott pull his arm around your shoulder, “I just couldn’t throw it away.”

“Don’t lie,” you playfully pushed him, “you just hoped I’d come back someday,”

He chuckled, “Put it on, we need to talk about business.”

“Put it on?” Sam asked in the background.

You turned holding the leather close to your chest.

“It’s a rule,” you told him, “no cut - no seat on the table.”

Sam glanced down at your leather cut and reached out for it. Acting out of instinct you pulled back and took a step backwards. Your eyes widened when you realized your actions. Sam gave you a confused glare, his eyebrows pinched.

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, “old habits…” There’s when you handle it to him.

“First Lady,” Sam read the patch sewed on the right side of the vest. He squinted his eyes as the bridge of his nose wrinkled. He didn’t understood the meaning behind some of the other patches.

Grabbing the leather off his hands, you continued to put it on. The second that piece of clothings was over your shoulders, it gave you a feeling you haven’t experienced in a long time; power.

“I was the first lady to be part of this club,” you told Sam holding his face before tip toeing your way into a kiss. “I’ll explain everything once that meeting is over. Okay?”

Sam licked his lower lip and slightly pouted afterwards. “I assume we can't go in with you?”

“No,” you shook your head slowly.

“Let me guess,” Sam breathed deeply, “club rules?”

You nodded staring into his eyes. The corners of your lips curved when Sam winked. “No patch, no seat,” you said.

“Y/N?” your father shouted from the chapel. “Get your arse in here, we don’t have all night!”

“Well that brings some memories,” you scoffed, “I’ll be right back.”

Leaving your cell phone inside the old cigars box, you strolled into the chapel and closed the big door on your way in. You were greeted by everyone’s looks. You knew almost everyone sitting at this table, except for the newest member whom’s name you didn’t know yet. No one sat on the seat at the other end of the table, which was the one you used to occupy.

“Is that seat-.” you began to speak.

“Still yours?” your father spoke, “yes.”

“There’s no need to treat me this way,” you spoke seriously.

Trig pinched his eyebrows, “What way? Like you’re family? Baby, you are family.”

“I left the club,” you looked at Trig. “I shouldn’t even be wearing this cut,” you touched the leather vest. “If I was a man, the first thing Happy would gave me was a beating not a warm hug. I shouldn’t be wearing this cut and I shouldn’t sit there. It’s the law.”

“Fuck the law,” your dad leaned backwards. “You are my daughter, the first and only lady member of The Wolves. You will seat where you belong.”

“Don’t trying to be rude but-,” the newest patched member spoke, “she said herself, she left, she shouldn’t be treated so nicely.”

You looked at him, “I’m not talking to you, prick.”

“You’re talking to the club,” he replied, “I’m part of this club.”

“I’m talking to the ones I grew up with,” you glared at him. “I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Luke,” he stated.

“Hmm, nice name. Wanna know something?” you smirked arching an eyebrow, “I don’t care what your bullshit name is either.”

The club smirked at the way you spoke to the boy. The were proud and a little surprised that your sass was still intact. Being the only woman in a motorcycle club meant having bigger balls than them. You were not part of this club but you still didn’t liked when people spoke to you with the wrong tone.

Happy slapped the back of Luke’s neck, “Shut your mouth and show some respect.”

“I grew up in this club and I know the law, like the back of my hand. Even though I left, I still respect it,” you said walking towards the seat and standing behind it. “I won’t seat, speak or listen a word of club business until we are all clear of why am I here and why I left.”

“What do you mean, baby?” Trig spoke.

In that moment Tyson strolled in and both glances connected for a quick second. Tyson shut the door behind him and looked away, having his seat next to your father.

“I need come clean,” you spoke, still looking at Tyson who didn’t looked back. “I left because Max told me to on a letter.” Your eyes went to your father, who after six years is about to listen the real truth. “Max always wanted to get out of this life. This life took everything from him, his father, his mother, his wife, even his own life. Max saw something in me… Something that I never saw in myself before he died, potential. Max knew I could do better with my life, than being part of a MC.”

You smiled weakly. “This club was my life before my mom and Max died.” Everyone looked down for a moment at the mention of your mother and Max. “And after their deaths all I could see was evil,” you took a breather, “and I didn’t want to live like that, so I packed up my things and left.” You took a deep breath. “I came back because I want to help finding Lance and looking for the truth. I know him and I know he would never rat on this club. And like I said, I know the law and I know my father,” you looked at him. “I came here because I don’t want anything bad happening to Lance. The club has lost too much already.”

“We won’t kill Lance if that’s what you mean,” your father spoke. “Anything else?”

“Yes,” you nodded, “once he’s found and everything is settled… I will leave.” In that moment all the members of the club frowned. Your stare never broke with your dad’s, “I want you to swear on The Wolf that you won’t call, seek or-.” you paused, “send for me, ever again.”

Your father grabbed the gavel, looking at it as he turned it around on his hands. “Let’s throw it on a vote,” his eyes connected with each member before locking into yours. “Y/N leaves unharmed and doesn’t go through any of the scripted punishments for banishing the club after we find Lance…”He took a deep breath in before saying his vote, “Aye.” His look went towards your brother.

Scott clenches his jaw, knowing saying ‘Aye’ means not seeing you ever again. “Do you really want this?” He looked at you.

You nodded, “I need peace in my life.”

He nodded, biting his lower lip, before winking at you and saying, “Aye.”

Next is Trig’s turn to vote whom looked at you with sadness in his grey eyes. “I’ll miss you, baby,” he gave you a weak smile, “Aye.”

With Tyson’s turn to vote, you looked at him, hoping for him to look you in the eye but it didn’t happen. Instead his eyes were sticked to his hands.

Tyson clenched his jaw and muttered, “Yea… Whatever.”

“It sucks but- yeah,” Happy says.

“Yea,” Rat followed also with a weak smile.

You glared at Luke waiting for his vote. At this point his vote didn’t matter but you wanted to see if he had the balls to throw the vote he really wanted to give.

“Yeah,” he said with a bittersweet tone.

“That’s what I thought,” you whispered with an arched eyebrow.

“It passes,” your father spoke, “The Wolves won’t bother you after we find Lance.” He finished by knocking on the wood with the black gavel. “I want everyone here tomorrow at 10am.”

After your father’s words everyone walked out of the chapel. The first pair of eyes you met where Sam. He looked down at you, noticing the redness around your eyes.

“They made you cry?” Sam asked, his voice deep and protective.

You shook your head, “The tears fell down by their own as I said why I left.”

“And?” Dean and Melissa stood next to Sam.

“I will be free once I find Lance,” you spoke with a weak smile. “They swore it on The Wolf.”

Melissa squinted, “Which means…?”

“It’s absolute,” you told them and watched the relief in their eyes. “Anything swore on The Wolf it’s absolute and can’t be broken. They won’t bother me after this is over.”

“Y/N! Look who came to see you!” Scott shouted from outside.

Your eyebrows frowned, walking outside curious of who is Scott talking about. Once out of the clubhouse you saw woman with a familiar face and three kids by her side.

You took a step closer, “Wendy?”

She instantly smiled and hugged you.

“It’s so good to see you,” Wendy said as she broke the hug.

“It is,” you nodded, a wide smile on your face. Looking down to her side, you saw the resemblance this kids had with Max. “Abel and Thomas?”

Wendy nodded, “They are all grown up.”

You chuckled looking at the kids who looked back at you with foreign eyes. “Hey,” you smiled with charm.

“Kids,” Wendy touched Abel’s, Max’s oldest son shoulder. “This is your Aunt Y/N.”

“I didn’t know we had an aunt,” Abel spoke with squinted eyes.

“She’s lives over seas,” Wendy said a white lie, “but she’s here now… say hello.”

“Hey,” Abel and Thomas said.

You looked at the third and youngest blonde kid, “And you?” You glanced at Wendy. “You had another one?”

Wendy nodded with a smile, “That’s Max Jr.”

“Well hello, Max Jr.,” you said.

He smiled at you, “Hi.”

“Mom can we go play with Tyson? He’s working on his bike.” Abel asked to Wendy. You noticed he had Max’s old ring hanging out on his golden necklace.

Wendy glanced at Tyson quickly before looking back at her son. “Sure but careful with the tools-”

“Kay, mom!” Abel shouted as he ran towards the garage, Thomas and Max Jr. following his steps.

You chuckled, “They are the vivid image of Max.”

“They are,” Wendy sighed, watching the kids play with Tyson.

You smiled observing Tyson lifting Max Jr. and spinning in circle motions. “He’s still good with kids,” you sighed softly.

Wendy nodded, placing her hands over her hips. “Yeah,” she turned to look at you. “How are you, Y/N? It’s been a long time.”

“It has,” you said glancing around before looking at her, “yet everything looks the same. Minor the kids, they are so big and Max Jr.? When did that happened?”

“Before Max died we hooked up,” Wendy shrugged with a soft chuckle. “He knocked me up… Again.”

You scoffed with a smile, “Yeah… Where’s Nero? Thought you moved with him back at his farm”

“We still live over there,” Wendy told you. “The kids love the farm, there’s all types of animals and stuff. We came here once in awhile, you know for the kids to see everyone.”

“I see, to stay in contact,” you said.

Wendy nodded with a smirk and looked over your shoulder. “You brought company.”

You turned to look at Sam, Dean and Melissa chatting with a couple of the guys. Wendy took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

“Yeah,” you breathed in deeply as Wendy let the thick smoke out.

She arched an eyebrow and extend her hand with the cigarette box over.

“Want some?” She gave you a small smirk.

You shook your head, “I quit.”

Wendy chuckled under her breath before taking another drag of her cigarette. You narrowed your eyes unsure of her amusement.

“What’s so funny?” you asked.

“Nothing,” she blew off the smoke, “it’s weird to have you back.” She looked you in the eye with an brow arched. “You’re wearing that cut but-” Wendy shrugged, searching for the right words. “It doesn’t look as it used to. You don’t look as you used to.”

“Really? And how do I look?” you folded your arms and shifted your weight.

Wendy took one last drag in before throwing the cigarette to the ground. “You look like someone who’s having a lot of mixed up feelings. Someone who doesn’t know where they belong anymore.”

///

“And here is where you two lads are going to sleep,” Scott opened the door of one of the clubhouse room. Dean and Melissa were already settled in one of the rooms.

You looked around and breathed in, “I’m surprise it doesn’t smell like alcohol or skanks.”

Scott laughed at your words. “This room hasn’t been used in years. I sent one of the girls to change the sheets and clean it for you two.”

You couldn’t disconnect your eyes from the old pictures hanging around. Everything inside this room was stuff you left behind. Things that you left in Scott’s, Tyson’s and your dad’s, six years ago.

“You guys really dumped everything in here?” you turned to look at your brother. “You could just… throw it away. Y’know?”

Scott shrugged, “Like I said… We had hope.”

“Not everybody had hope,” you murmured.

You and Scott had that rare silence communication. He knew what you wanted to say but couldn’t say. He knew that comment was about Tyson not speaking to you.

Scott reached your side and pulled you into a hug. “Trust me,” he whispered, “We did.” Once those words were said, Scott stepped back and sighed deeply. “I’m gonna go… Let you lads alone to settle in.”

After your brother left, you kept browsing around, until your eyes met with Sam. He was observing you in a different way. Like he was trying to figure out what’s going on in your mind.

“What?” you gave him a half smile.

Sam placed his hands inside his pockets, “You look oddly happy of being here.”

You shrugged having a seat on the edge of the bed. “I-, I don’t know what I feel…”

“What do you mean?” Sam frowned, leaning against the door.

“I’m not going to lie, a part of me is happy of being here…” Your voice tone was soft as you spoke. “Which surprises me, I thought that when I got here, I would hate this place even more… Instead, I’m here and I feel… good.”

Sam fold his arms against his chest, “It was your home.”

“It was but… I have this other feeling…” You said laying your palm over your chest. “This void inside me. I guess is because my mom and Max are not around.” Sam watched you with a curious stare. “Stop staring at me like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam chuckled, “you just look like a different person.”

You chuckled softly and looked down to your cut. “When I wear this-” you touched the cut, feeling the leather. “I feel like a different person,” you looked at Sam. “And the fucked up thing is that… I know that person. This-” you stood up, spreading your arms and scoffed, “This was my room before everything went to shit.”

Sam observed you as you walked around and turned towards him.

“Everything was burn to the ground and I never thought I’d see it again. I thought coming back here I would only think about the bad times but I was wrong.” You shrugged feeling the single tear go down your cheek. “I’ve found myself thinking about the good memories I had between these walls… And I just realized something, I didn’t had a problem with the people or the club, I loved them… They are family,” you sobbed, “I had a problem with the life that has costed me too much. I didn’t get that until I got back and it’s scares me, Sam… It’s scares the crap out of me because…” you bit your lip, “It means that person I used to be, it’s still in me and I don’t want you to know her… That person that would anything for the people she loves, no matter the cost is still in here and it’s scares me.”

PS: Yeah, the dude from the gif is Tyson Danielson, reader’s ex-boyfriend.

TAG LIST [ CLOSED ]

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#mysterious hazelnut #sam x reader

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thrashermaxey · 6 years

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Ramblings: Impact of a new family on production. Also, the kids are arriving – Tolvanen, Andersson (Mar 26)

***

I was reading a Wyshynski article last week where he interviewed Ryan Getzlaf (link here). Regarding Corey Perry: “He has a family now. Last season was his first year with a kid. And that adds a different element to the game. It can change your preparation away from the rink and all those kinds of things. I think it all contributes into it.”

Getzlaf on his weak season 2011-12: “my first year as a dad was one of my worst years in the NHL. [Getzlaf had just 11 goals and 57 points in 82 games, and the Ducks missed the playoffs.]” And then: “there's really not a whole lot that can prepare you for parenthood. You have to just live it. Especially in our world, with how much it changes your daily life and how much more important things feel for you away from the rink.”

As I said on Twitter a few days ago, I would bet good money that a player sees his production drop significantly when he has a second or third child when one of the other children are toddlers. Significantly. No data available on this, of course. But my thinking is that if a player has a couple of tough years and then suddenly has a good one, I would check on his family – did he have a kid during that first tough year? If so, I’d be more inclined to believe that the good year is the norm and not an anomaly. The toughest year of my career (other than the last one obviously – ha) was when my oldest daughter was two and my youngest was born. Very hard – “terrible twos” is a label for a reason! Imagine being an athlete used to a workout regimen in the summer – I don’t know, three hours per day? Now suddenly it’s a couple of 30-minute sessions and a broken-up 10-minute attempt as you try to juggle.

Anyway, I found it interesting, it got me thinking and I wanted to share this new perspective. After I Tweeted these thoughts, I was quickly reminded by some followers that Cam Talbot had twins this year. So…hmmm…

Jordan Weal had a three-point game Sunday, which drives me nuts. I’m always panning for hidden gold, and Weal has come up on several occasions. A prospect who was a bit of a long shot, Weal dominated junior hockey. But most players who do that still fail to become fantasy relevant. However, he took to the AHL quickly with 139 points in 149 games in his second and third years there. Then he had a strong training camp with some clutch goals back in the preseason of 2015. Plus, he had to clear waivers that year to be sent down, so I drafted him as a late sleeper. But Weal became one of those guys who still needed another AHL season yet couldn’t be sent down there because he would get claimed – so the Kings played him sparingly and later when he went to the Flyers in the Lecavalier trade he was used sparingly there too. A complete lost season. And that almost always kills a player’s upside. So I dropped him…

Then last year, after clearing waivers and again dominating the AHL, he was called up and played his way onto the top line, tallying eight points in the final 10 games and 11 in his last 16. And that was going into a UFA summer for him. He earned a two-year contract and again I slapped on the “sleeper” status to his name. But he’s been brutal this year, even with decent linemates (often Wayne Simmonds and Nolan Patrick). Last season’s tease was good enough to get him re-drafted in my league and I re-acquired him in January as a throw-in, playing a hunch (which until Sunday had completely failed). I’m in a deep keeper league and with five draft picks I’ll need to choose between dropping Weal, Lars Eller or Jordan Staal. Or I acquire two more picks and drop all three? It was an easy decision to drop Weal until he gets these three-point games and you realize he is entering his prime and his fourth NHL season. Not a life-changing decision, but one of those meaningless ones that could surprise. And of course it will kick you in the teeth if you make the wrong one. Fantasy hockey is fun!

You laugh at the name Lars Eller, above, but he’s going to end up with 42 points which is by far a career high. And at the age of 28 he’s in his prime and could likely be semi-counted on for 45 next year. That number out of a playoff player has some small depth value in a league like mine.

It took Sean Couturier 16 games of sitting at 29 goals before scoring his 30th, but now that the monkey is off his back he scored number 31 just two games later.

Nolan Patrick has 12 points in his last 19 games. The 19-year-old is finally finding his footing.

Alex Lyon gave up two quick goals early in the second and got pulled. The 25-year-old has virtually no chance of making his mark in the NHL as a part of this organization because they have three proven NHL goaltenders plus Carter Hart on the way. So he needs to make his mark while he can – the two Band-Aid Boys have made it possible to get this audition. He’s been okay in seven games, but not strong enough to make a lasting impression.

Derick Brassard has points in each of his last six contests.

Since the Penguins acquired Brassard, Jake Guentzel has 10 points in 13 games. That being said, he had six points in the three games leading up to the trade (so 16 in 16 in all) and his season was turning around anyway. But this move certainly freed up Guentzel, as has been alluded to here on several occasions.

Sidney Crosby is seven points away from reaching 90 for the first time in four years and he has six games to do it – so it’s in the bag. Funny how it’s still not enough to get him into the top seven or eight scorers. That’s how this year has been – Vegas has added to the player pool of strong scorers and overall scoring is up seven or eight percent.

Lias Andersson and Filip Chytil have been called up by the New York Rangers. This is especially interesting in fantasy circles because the Rangers play four times this week. This is also the time of year where non-playoff teams start piling on ice time for their prospects to give them a taste during meaningless games. In my one league I had picked up Chris Tierney Sunday afternoon and dropped Adrian Kempe. An hour later I had to drop Tierney to make room for Andersson who could no longer sit in my minors. Wasted transaction. Anyway, Andersson has 14 points in 24 AHL games for Hartford while Chytil has 31 in 45. Read up on Andersson here and Chytil here.

That being said, those two are small potatoes compared to this guy. Eeli Tolvanen’s Jokerit team was eliminated from the KHL playoffs on the weekend and he can now sign with Nashville. He supposedly has one in place already, now we just need official word on the signing. Tolvanen can play as many as nine games this year – including playoff games – without burning the first year of that contract. My guess is that he will get into the lineup for several regular season games so the team can gauge whether or not he’s ready for playoff action and can make enough of a difference to burn that first year and give him a regular playoff roster spot. My second guess is that while he will be good enough to do that – I’m not so sure that they will. Traditionally, Nashville is cautious with their prospects. But I think he’ll make his mark in the regular season and make them think long and hard about it. His 19 goals and 36 points as a KHL rookie were the highest by any player under the age of 19 in that league’s history. He also had six goals in 11 KHL playoff games. Read our scouting report on Tolvanen here. He is the No.1 prospect on my Top 200 Fantasy Prospect Forwards list.

Continuing on with that theme, the Chicago Blackhawks signed their top prospect Dylan Sikura to a two-year ELC. Sikura just finished his senior year with Northeastern and tallied 54 points in 35 contests. He’s ranked 40th on my Prospects List. Read more on Sikura here.

Warren Foegele had a great training camp and has been an excellent AHL rookie so far for Charlotte (42 points in 65 games, with 26 goals). Carolina has called him up and he’ll likely make his NHL debut Monday. He’s ranked 86 on my prospects list and you can read our scouting report on him here.

Washington isn’t a team out of the playoffs, so when they signed prospect Shane Gersich on the weekend it wasn’t to play him and “see what they have”. He may get into the lineup once a playoff spot is clinched, but training camp is the time to keep an eye on him. His upside is capped. He had 37 points in 40 games a year ago, but that’s because his teammates were Tyson Jost, Brock Boeser and Tucker Poolman. With those three gone, Gersich slipped to 27 points. He’s earmarked for a future checking-line role. Read more on Gersich here.

CJ Suess was signed by the Jets. Although he had 43 points in 40 games for Minnesota State, he’s a bit of a long shot. Not only are the Jets deep with young forwards, but Suess himself is 24. He was drafted in 2014 as a 20-year-old. So he has a short window to make an impact, with little opportunity to do so. He was Minnesota State’s team captain the last two years.

With two more points Sunday, Viktor Arvidsson has 21 points in his last 18 games.

Here were Nashville’s line combos Sunday night:

21.2%

ARVIDSSON,VIKTOR – FORSBERG,FILIP – JOHANSEN,RYAN

18.8%

FISHER,MIKE – HARTNELL,SCOTT – SALOMAKI,MIIKKA

16.4%

FIALA,KEVIN – SMITH,CRAIG – TURRIS,KYLE

16.4%

BONINO,NICK – HARTMAN,RYAN – SISSONS,COLTON

With Calle Jarnkrok and Austin Watson out with injuries, I’m looking at the above depth chart and wondering where Tolvanen slots in. A checking line would be useless, so perhaps he gets in there for Craig Smith on the second line, bumping Smith to the Fisher line and taking Salomaki or Hartnell out of the lineup.

Patrice Bergeron returned to the Boston lineup for the first time since before the trade deadline. So it was interesting to see the line combinations with Ryan Donato and Brian Gionta around.

28.2%

BERGERON,PATRICE – MARCHAND,BRAD – PASTRNAK,DAVID

22.1%

HEINEN,DANTON – NASH,RILEY – WINGELS,TOMMY

21.5%

DONATO,RYAN – GIONTA,BRIAN – KREJCI,DAVID

14.9%

ACCIARI,NOEL – KURALY,SEAN – SCHALLER,TIM

But then…what does this tell us? Since David Backes, Rick Nash and Jake DeBrusk are out, we still can’t get a feel for what the playoff line combos will be.

What was most interesting is the fact that Ryan Donato was part of a four-man PP unit to go with that top line and Torey Krug.

With two more points Sunday, Brad Marchand has 80 in 60 games. His 1.33 points-per-game average is second in the NHL behind Nathan MacKinnon (1.37) and ahead of Connor McDavid, Nikita Kucherov and Evgeni Malkin. Remarkable. Earlier, I had stroked him off my Hart Trophy voting list of five players. Time to tap the UNDO button on that one.

Tyler Myers has just one point in his last 15 games. He ‘had’ been on track for a career high in points. He’s still getting solid secondary PP minutes, but he’s not producing there. Nearly half his total points came via the power play, so if he’s not getting it done with the man advantage then he’s not going to give you much production otherwise.

Embarrassing. Dallas has free-fallen out of a playoff spot by losing eight games in a row in mid- to late March. And that includes a loss to the Canucks Sunday. Not officially out yet, but…pretty much yeah. Two teams have 89 points right now and only one of them will get in – and Dallas has 84 with six games remaining. Anaheim tying the Oilers late Sunday night and winning in OT put another nail in that coffin, too.

Is Ty Rattie playing his way into an NHL job for next year? Often I would say no to this and I would say it quickly and easily. After all, he’s 25 now and has had his chance. Just another failed highly-touted prospect who is making a mark on a non-playoff team when games don’t mean anything. Usually, you’ll see that team re-sign him but also sign (or trade for) other players to fill the ranks on the wing, thereby forcing him to the press box or the minors. Or to a depth line and dismal production. In other words, my Jordan Weal example, above. But I suspect that this team could fire their GM in the summer. In which case, the philosophy changes. The focus should be on defensemen and if deals and signings are geared towards that, then maybe they count on Rattie lining up with McDavid. Why not? The Penguins did that with Conor Sheary and Sidney Crosby and it worked just fine. Draftable? If your league is deep enough, I think he’s worth a flier in the final round when hunches are played. Unless something massive happens to change things among Edmonton forwards in the summer.

Ethan Bear had his first NHL goal here:

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He also added an assist and has four points in 14 games. While I don’t see more than a 25-point year as a rookie next season, I do really like his long-term value with this team. The Oilers are dying for a puck-moving defenseman and he’s a very promising one. I assume they make a play for a game-breaker like John Carlson, though, if they can afford him. If only they didn’t have that Kris Russell contract…

I’ve been asked when the Interactive Playoff Draft List will be available. This list, which was the first thing I ever started selling on this site way back in 2005, should be available by Thursday April 5. I have the structure in place and the players, I’m just going through it and tweaking expectations and filling in notes. I will update this list on April 7 and April 9, so you can re-download it. Not only does the Excel sheet have my own playoff list, but it also allows you to run your own scenarios and create as many different lists as you like – the player projections will auto-fill based on your playoff tree. I generally run two playoff scenarios and then bring both lists into my draft. Then, based on who is taken (and which teams have the most players available) when I make my second-round pick, I throw away one of the lists and just go with one. This way I’m not tied down to a certain scenario and just go with the best situation (of the two I ran) based on how the draft is going. You can pre-order the IPDL here. Only six of you bought the Ultimate Fantasy Pack because I had to pull it from the shop due to my cancer situation. A common question I’m asked is “is this included in the package I bought last summer?” Chances are you bought the Keeper League Pack, so no – it is not included in that. Unless you were one of those six who got in early before I could pull it, you bought the Keeper Pack. At the time, I didn’t know if I would be around or if I would have the ability to put together this Draft List so I couldn’t in good faith sell a package that included it.

That being said, I feel great, things are going great, and you can expect the Ultimate Fantasy Pack to return for 2018 and come out on sale in May!

Announcement: I will be making this Draft List available FREE during all 2018 Montreal Canadiens playoff games.

(Sorry, saw that joke in social media, thought it was a marketing masterpiece! Had to share)

Another thing I’ve been asked – will I have the free playoff box pools available again this year. The answer is: yes. Look for that in a week or so. You can follow the box pool Facebook Page for the announcement when that is out.

Here are the latest 20 Fantasy Hockey Thoughts. See you next week!

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-impact-of-a-new-family-on-production-also-the-kids-are-arriving-tolvanen-andersson-mar-26/

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thedamiansmith · 7 years

Text

We gotta see the Penguin: Origin 3 player ratings

QLD 1. Billy Slater – is simply all that and a bag of crisps. Brilliant. Hopefully Darius Boyd was sitting at home, scribbling notes about how to be a good fullback.

2. Valentine Holmes – 3 great finishes for tries. Still looks more nervous under the bomb than Dresden circa 1945. It took NSW 210 minutes of football to figure this out. Laurie Daley – supercoach.

3. Will Chambers – obviously in the team as some attempt to keep the game fair. Constantly got in the way. In the way of NSW, in the way of his team-mates, in his own way...

4. Michael Morgan – remember Harvey Keitel’s character in Pulp Fiction? The Wolf? That’s Morgan.

5. Dane Gagai – my pick for player of the series going into the game, the judges agreed. Who signed him again? Oh that’s right.

6. Cameron Munster – there were some question marks over whether Munster was going to be up to the job. These people are not familiar with Craig Bellamy’s Jurassic Park style cloning facility where he spliced Billy Slater’s DNA with that of some kind of football playing frog. Queensland uh uh uh finds a way.

7. Cooper Cronk – dropped the ball when about to score a certain try, so there’s that. Also put in one of the greatest attacking kicks in the history of attacking kicks. So there’s that.

8. Dylan Napa – did his job I guess? He plays for the damn Roosters, what do you want from me? Still looks like Jake Busey.

9. Cameron Smith – nothing needs to be said.

10. Jarrod Wallace – it’s always special when a prop scores a try, especially because it’s nearly universally some sort of cosmic accident when it happens. Started grinning like Hodor when he saw the tryline wide open. Good for him.

11. Gavin Cooper – there’s probably some joke I can make about barrel making but it’s late.

12. Matt Gillett – punishing in defence and attack. The best a man can get indeed.

13. Josh McGuire – There’s a lot of Dishhead Dowling in McGuire and that’s either a backhanded compliment or a cloaked insult. I can’t tell which. Runs hard, tackles hard, gets himself hurt, a bit Martin Lang as well.

14. Ben Hunt – was wisely kept off the field until the game was wrapped up. A very shrewd move by coach Walters, we know what this guy is capable of in crunch moments.

15. Josh Papalii – like The Rock if The Rock ate another The Rock.

16. Coen Hess - ‘Rudolf’ as I’ve come to call him is just as brutal and efficient as his namesake. Too far?

17. Tim Glasby – when he got the ball on the half volley and started trundling for the try line we were all thinking it: is this the next Danny Nutley? Unfortunately Glasby doesn’t have the Nuts turn of pace. Ask me some time about the time Danny Nutley was the second leg in a double at the SFS…

NSW

1. James Tedesco – you know that ad that he’s in where he sets off the museum alarm system and then sizes up the security before the screen cuts to black? The end of that is that he trips in the first three seconds and then spends the next 45 minutes being beaten in a back room with a phone book before being sold off to work in the engine room of a Yakuza operated black ops whaling vessel...this analogy has gone too far but you see what I’m getting at. The guy’s a muppet.

2. Brett Morris – I never, ever thought I would see the day when Brett Morris was far and away the best player on a NSW team. Next thing you know Donald Trump will be President.

3. Josh Dugan – I’ve been hard on Duges for a long time, but that’s only because I want to see him develop. After my criticism of his last game he did in fact learn how to pass. Only it was forward and to a Queenslander, but baby steps. Shine on you crazy diamond.

4. Jarryd Hayne – remember in 2009 when Hayne was the best player in the comp? Let’s all remember him for the player he was and not the abomination he has become. The Michael McIntyre of rugby league.

5. Blake Ferguson – when Valentine Holmes went over the top of Fergo for his third try you could see Blake gesturing to his team as if to say ‘it’s not my fault – I didn’t pick me’. Daley should have trusted his judgement.

6. James Maloney – how this jackboot dilettante won two premierships is beyond me and has forever tarnished my enjoyment of rugby league both as a sport and a concept. The best microcosm of his career was late in the game when the Blues were trailing but still in the game and Jimmy put in a pinpoint kick – to Alfie Langer.

7. Mitchell Pearce – Pearce again astounds me with his incredibly accurate kicking game. It was somewhere near the 30th minute before he missed a Queensland back and accidentally found the turf. Otherwise he was like the Legolas of picking out the QLD backline.

8. Aaron Woods – like Styx or Warrant or any other 80’s hair metal band – a crushing lack of talent and ability disguised by a flowing coiffure.

9. Nathan Peats – let’s remember that time when his father, Geordi Peats, played in Canterbury’s 1993 Minor Premiership team…

10. Andrew Fifita – more like Andrew FiFATa. Yeah that’s what I’m going with. A real flat track bully, looks great when things are going his way, a useless thug when they’re not. Won’t turn a game that you’re losing, just helps you win more. Ran for more than 800m, which is something, however only 12 of them were forward.

11. Boyd Cordner – seeing this man in a Blue jumper is inspirational. I mean if he can become captain of the NSW Origin team then I might just have a chance as well. Crippling ankle injury and all.

12. Josh Jackson – to quote Andre 3000 ‘Sorry Josh Jackson. I am for real. Never s’posed to make the Blues side, you’re the one who’s getting penalised’

13. Tyson Frizell – More like Tyson Fizzle. Amirite?

14. David Klemmer – If the players in this Origin series were the cast of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark then David Klemmer is the bag of sand used to weigh down the trap. A heavy, amorphous mound that is ultimately unable to perform the one simple task it was given.

15. Wade Graham – kinda like Joe Pesci in Casino, well meaning but his volatile temper makes life worse for everyone.

16. Jake Trbojevic – He still goes alright. Could possibly trade some of his consonants for some of Josh Papalii’s vowels.

17. Jack Bird – the year is 2008 and thanks to Family Guy season 7, episode 2 ‘I Dream of Jesus, everyone is talking about how the bird is the word. Well it’s 2017 and the Bird is definitely no longer the word.

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