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#i wasnt even there live for it i was doing shit around my house
orcelito · 1 year
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anytime people complain about golfers (like real golf, not mini-golf) i think of my rich ex step family where we’d take family trips down to south carolina and every trip without fail there would be a day where all the men would go golfing and all the women & children would just hang around the house. which like i was 100% fine with, i was perfectly happy just hanging out and swimming in the pool or whatever. 
but like. in hindsight. what a fucking Rich Person thing to do lmao
#speculation nation#oh god do i got STORIES from having rich step family for a time#my ex step mom was Not rich. the only one from the family who wasnt (she wanted to be a school teacher)#so our lil family unit was the only relatively normal one there. and god fucking Damn the passive judgement was insane#some of them were nice. but some of them were such judgey assholes#gotta love the uncle who gave his kid a fucking uhhh like mac laptop back in the year of like 2009 ish where they were Real expensive#i mean theyre still expensive but ya kno#or maybe it was an ipad. or maybe it was BOTH at different times. i barely even remember.#whatever you've read about rich people is true. these were relatively nice rich people and it was still true.#i did enjoy the benefits tho. like hanging out in a private movie theater next to the sauna (which was also connected to the hot tub)#same house had heated bathroom floors and ipads installed into the walls as system controllers. still fucking insane.#and there i was in this basement fucking around with my homestuck blog and watching mirai nikki and listening to some GOD awful mashup music#i did not exactly fit into the rich scene. as you could imagine from how i am today.#certainly gave me some experiences tho. ive been around both rich and poor lives alike.#and Let Me Tell You i am always MUCH more comfortable amongst the poorer sides#rich shit is just so scrubbed clean of imperfections. i always felt like a giant zit.#better off where i am lol. have Some nice things but i dont ever want a mansion. Thanks
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medicasino · 6 months
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vent below so dont feel like you have to read this 👍i simply have no where else to put this bc i dont want to Bother My Friends
god i wish i could just kill myself but i like. cant. there's too much stopping me. but i dont want to do anything anymore. i dont want to deal with this constant misery of being trapped in a brain with a death wish hellbent on making me want to die horrifically. i wish people just hated me outright so i had a good excuse to just call it quits on life and die
#affie txt#vent#suicide tw#suicidal ideation tw#suicide cw#suicidal ideation cw#i like playing games but literally everything besides that just feels pointless. i want to draw but like. its miserable.#even creating stories is stressful now because nothing i can come up with is even the slightest bit original#its all just utter garbage. i want to give up. i dont want to deal with this shit#please god just hate me already. i wish everyone just wanted me to die#so i could. so i could just lay down and never get up. i hate working i hate having to take care of myself i hate doing anything#i hate living in this house i hate the way ive become! i wish i wasnt so demotivated and lazy! i miss being able to DO THINGS!#but at this point im 17 and still an absolute fucking failure who just lives to disappoint . i want to kill myself but i cant#i dont know why people even care about me. because im really a terrible friend#every time i read past conversations ive had with people i want to die because im just so unlikeable i DONT GET why people stick around#im not mad at anyone but myself here. i just wish i was better. and not a total waste of space.#i want to die! i want to die! i want to die!!!#ugh its like i feel these things but also i feel nothing. like im empty. this is all my genuine thoughts and im losing it but also i feel s#disconnected from all of this#i feel so much yet so little. lol im truly just fucked up huh#whatever#im really sorry to be a bother#i really am i just have nowhere to go#and i dont want to bother my friends ig#repetition cw#repetition#repetition tw
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ellienabbywifey · 11 days
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my dearest love
you and ellie have been together for around two years, the two of you in love and living on a farm house together where you both decided to reside due to how dangerous it is in the city. although the both of you have been happy together, raising a child has left the both of you eager and desperate due to the lack of sex.
—— <3
the day started off the same as always, you waking up to change the baby and straighten up the bedroom you all shared, the floorboards creaking quietly as you tiptoed around the house.
the sound of the birds chirping and the grass swaying through the wind hitting your ears each time you passed the windows that were open in substitute to air conditioning. you laid your baby down in their crib who remained sleeping despite the changing of their diaper.
you smiled, looking down the chunky little baby whose tiny lips were slightly parted from sleeping so well. one of your hands gliding over the tiny human’s face.
after an swift while of analyzing the creation you made, you tucked your baby underneath the blanket to begin picking up any clothes you found from the day before.
your hands tossing them into the clothing bin to be washed and strung outside to dry later. after that, you headed downstairs as subtle as you could to start making breakfast.
humming to yourself while you cracked and scrambled four eggs that were freshly taken from the chickens hen the night before. you thought to yourself for a moment, mind completely blurred. 
you shivered as you felt a pair of arms wrapping around your waist from behind, goosebumps coating your skin while you were immediately knocked from out your thoughts, a gentle peck being placed on the left side of your neck.
“goodmorning, howd you sleep?” you heard your lover say, her voice slightly raspy while she gently rubbed her fingertips over your hips. you let you head fall back onto her shoulder, the feeling making you sigh in relief.
“i slept well, thanks to you.. i missed you so much.” you said before turning around to face her, wrapping your arms around her neck while smiling happily at the sight of her, her shoulder length hair a bit messy as her pale green eyes glistened in the sunlight that peeked throughout the kitchen ever so beautifully.
despite ellie being home now, she wasnt a few weeks ago. tommy heading over to update her on the new information he found on abby. as much as you hated the thought of her leaving, you allowed it. tears were shed everyday before she returned.
the thought of leaving to find her crossed your mind far too many times but you listened to her, trusting that she’d be back soon enough and the one day you packed up your bookbag and grabbed your weapons with your baby strapped to your chest, there she was at the front door.
ellie was in shock, not expecting you to be so eager and impatient to find her. that alone making her happy but also a bit sad as she wouldn’t even know what to do if you and you guy’s baby gotten hurt or into some deep shit.
you ran a hand over her auburn hair before tilting your head at her, “no need to miss me, im here now. i dont plan on leaving any longer.” she said, her eyes traveling from your irises to your lips a few times.
“im glad, ‘cant be without you.” you said in response, leaning forward to place a soft but long peck onto her lips. ellie let out a hum into the kiss, her hands gliding over your lower back and waist gently.
you furrowed your eyebrows in awe, pulling her closer to you as the kiss progressively grew more and more passionate. your feet stumbling back as you were met with the counter that was conventionally behind you.
you gasped, feeling the cool wood graze your hips while ellies hands massaged and groped your soft and smooth skin, her breathing hitching a bit the more she leaned into you.
ellie pulled away to make her way to your neck, your head falling back once again while you felt yourself tremble from the feeling of her soft lips immediately and directly hitting your sweet spot, “f.. fuck, ellie.. dont.” you mumbled softly.
you whined, feeling her place an knee between your thighs that were trembling. she always knew what to do to get you pooling your panties with your wetness.
“its been so long.. please.” she said softly against your skin before pulling away to look at you with now pink cheeks and lips, her tatted hand lifting to glide down your clothed chest.
“i know.. i want you but im nervous.” you said, letting a breath pass between your lips from the feeling of her gentle fingers passing over your body.
“dont be, i know your body better than ever and ill take my time. i know we haven’t did it since you gave birth but i promise ill treat your body right.” she responded, giving you complete eye contact.
you felt yourself relax, nodding at her words, “then take me.” you said, your breath grazing her lips as she leaned in closely to kiss you once again, enthusiastically deepening it while grabbing your waist.
ellie and you stumbled your way to the living room, her hands landing on the walls and doorframes to keep the two of you steady before collapsing onto the couch, the auburn haired girl landing on top and between your legs.
you felt your body heating up more and more as both of your lips danced around eachother, getting a bit sloppy from the eagerness before feeling ellie pull away to look at you, her eyes low and full of lust.
“take this off..” she mumbled a bit above an whisper, grabbing the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head, exposing your bare stomach and breasts that immediately caught her eyes.
she let her eyes pass over your body, every curve catching her attention as she slipped the hairtie holder off of her wrist and lifted her arms to pull half of her hair back into an messy ponytail.
you whined a little, gasping as you felt her fingers immediately play with your nipples, rolling the nubs between her thumb and pointer fingers while she watched your reaction closely, her lips stretching into a smirk.
“does that feel good baby?” she asked, earning a whimper from you, “yes.. please.” you begged, growing desperate and needy for her long slender fingers in your soaked cunt.
“no need to worry, you have me. im just getting you there.” she said, laying a soft kiss on your lips as she reassured you before leaning down to take one of your nipples into her mouth.
“fuck.” you let out, resting the back of your hand over your mouth to keep you from being loud through the quiet house while ellie’s tongue gently rubbed your nipple, sucking it as she pulled away to do the same to the other.
your back arched up from the couch cushions that were under you, the feeling of ellie landing teasing pecks down your stomach made your pussy ache in your panties, “please..”.
she grabbed your waistband and leaned up to yank your shorts and panties off, instantly moaning from the sight of your glistening pussy. “so wet for me.” she mumbled, using one of her hands to rub two fingers between your slit, gaining a whine that passed from your throat quietly.
her large hands readjusted you on the couch, pushing you further up to the armrest where she leaned down between your legs to place soft kisses on your inner thighs as she tucked her slightly muscular arms under your legs to get a better grip on you.
“no more teasing.. i cant take it anymore.” you said softly, gasping as she glided her tongue from your thigh to your pussy, her tongue flattening between your slit to land a long lick from your entrance to your clit.
your eyes shut subconsciously, hearing her hum a bit while flicking her tongue over your desperate clit before sucking the sensitive bud which made you immediately lay a hand over her head to push her deeper between your legs.
this did nothing but encourage ellie, her eyes slowly drifting close from how good you tasted as she pulled away from your pussy with a pop noise, holding your thighs down to flick and rub her tongue back and forth over your clit.
you furrowed your eyebrows, your breathing getting more intense while you sat up to watch her in awe. your eyes growing glossy from how good it felt, thighs already trembling. “oh fuck! ellie!” you moaned out, hips pushing up into her mouth.
ellie hummed in response, lapping her tongue over your clit before swirling the muscle over your cunt sloppily; a long moan dragging from your mouth while your fingers tugged at her ponytail. “you taste so good, baby.” she spoke muffled, face still deep in your pussy.
“dont stop, please! ‘feels too good!” you moaned loudly, throwing your head back once you felt her suck and swirl her tongue over your clit at an quick pace, eyes rolling back in complete awe.
you jerked forward, eyes shutting tightly while your toes began to curl, moans falling from your mouth loudly as you felt yourself grow more hot and flushed than before.
ellie pulled away for a split second to spit her saliva and your juices onto her fingers before pushing them deep into your pussy as she began flicking the tip of her tongue onto the bud of your pussy, fingers curling up into your spot that she always seemed to find.
she took her time, pushing her fingers into you before pulling them halfway out to yank at your spongy sweet spot, your juices soaking her chin while she watched you closely.
you on the other were a mess, body shaking and twitching as you felt your body begin to tremble while your pussy spasmed over her fingers, “i.. if you do that.. mm! ‘gonna make me cum!” you moaned, attempting to push her head away.
her fingers sped up as she watched you through heavy lids, attaching her lips around your bits to start sucking and tugging at your sensitive clit while your body started to tense and the feeling between your thighs grew more intense.
ellie leaned up, continuing to push her fingers in and out of you before rubbing your clit quickly with her free hand, nodding her head slowly in response to you. a smug look forming on her face while she watched your expressions change and alter from every move she made.
“cum for me, let it all out baby. be a good girl and cum for me.” she said, landing a few spanks on your clit as she sped up her fingers and applied a bit more pressure to your clit.
“im gonna cum!..” you let out while your eyes rolled back and your head fell against the arm rest on the couch while your mouth dropped open, juices beginning to flow down your thighs as you started to come undone all over her fingers.
ellie laughed as she twisted her fingers in circles inside of you while she helped fuck you through your orgasm, slapping your clit a few more times. “good girl, you did so well.” she said, slowly pulling her digits out of you to lean up and kiss you sloppily.
you whimpered, panting a bit against her lips. your heart was pounding, body still trembling and pussy now aching from how intense your orgasm was.
a whine passing through your lips and into the kiss from the familiar taste of your pussy hitting your tongue, arms and legs wrapping around ellie to hold her closely.
after an few minutes of kisses and i love you’s both of you pulled away from the sound of your 3 month old crying from upstairs, immediately making ellie lift up off the couch.
“get dressed, ill go get him and dont worry about breakfast. ill cook for us.” ellie said, smiling happily at you before heading upstairs while you began to slip your shorts and shirt back on, smiling as you thought about everything.
“dammit ellie, what am i gonna do with you..”
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angelicstrawberries · 11 months
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NSFW? Well I have a request!
Could you do Kyle Broflovski finding out he has feeling for Y/N (who has the same bland no bs personality as Douchebag from Sot) But the poor boy just turns into a closet perv, he knows what he does is wrong and tries to hide it from everyone but it just gets worse.
YES YES YES I LOVE THIS TY
Warnings:smut, nsfw, pervy kosher boy
Kyles POV
I never really took myself for a pervert like Cartman or Kenny, but thats when I saw her. Y/N Y/L/N, she was perfect. In every way she caught my eye from her soft hair to her personality, she didnt take anyones shit. She won every fight (granted a lot of them were with fatass but that just made her hotter) I always felt bad for having those thoughts about her, but there was no doubt in my mind that she was the one for me. I memorized her class schedule, down to every minute just so i could pass her in the halls even if I was supposed to be going the opposite direction. She sat with us at lunch thanks to Cartman, weirdly enough she met him first probably because she made friends with butters, her neighbor and he introduced to two of them those lucky assholes get to live by Y/N while I have to walk all the way down the street to find her, I bike by her house daily, occasionally catching glimpses of her changing, when that happens i speed home with a boner in my pants. I love everything about her. Shes just so.. perfect how I would love to pin her against my bed, slamming into her.
Today I decided to try and get rid of my feelings, I was going to partner with Y/N for our class project. Once I did that I would have combined my main focus in life with her, not saying she wasnt on my mind every second of every day, one time i stole her panties, that was a low day. No way to get a boner if your doing hard math problems right? Wrong.
Y/Ns POV
I always knew kyle had a crush on me, because I had a crush on him. I memorized his class schedule and noticed how he would go the opposite direction of where he was supposed to go in the halls, he would sit across from me at lunch to ogle my tits, and bike by my house every day, I made sure to be changing during those times to watch him see me, quickly u-turn and race back home with a tent in his pants. I never really thought of myself to be that attractive but it sure was a confidence boost. I really wanted him to ask me out but it seemed he couldnt manage to get a word out without getting a boner, that is until he partnered up with me for a math project. “So my place or yours?” I questioned Kyle “my brother would annoy us so is your house cool?” He asked with a shade of pink over his cheeks “That works, my parents are gonna be out of the house” you said packing up your stuff to leave, “see you after school”.
Lunch
You walked over to your table hearing the familiar sound of Kyle having a fight with Cartman, “SHUT UP YOU SNEAKY JEW” Stan explained that Cartman called Kyles mom a bitch and Kyle said his mom was a whore. Once you split up the two of them having to slap Cartman just to stop him from throwing a tantrum you finally started eating, “so Kahl, how is it having a pervy crush on Y/N” Kyle turned to Cartman and punched him square in the face and once again you had to split the two of them up. Luckily no teacher saw and you all avoided detention, but you couldnt help but think about Kyle for the rest of the day.
At Home
Your doorbell ringed, you went to open the door and found Kyle standing there, sweaty and red shifting around uncomfortably, “come on in Kyle” you said “welcome to my humble abode” you giggled with arms spread as if your house was a castle.
Kyles POV
I stood there at her door, a nervous mess I ringed the doorbell when she opened the door my jaw almost dropped, she was wearing tighter clothes than what she wears at school, what was once a baggy t-shirt was a tight shirt excentuating her curves. “Come on in Kyle” she said “welcome to m y humble abode” she giggled twirling around with arms spread, you followed her upstairs watching her hips sway as she climbed the stairs holy fuck I want to take her against the wall right now.
I decided it was no time to be flustered. I was going to test the waters.
I placed one of my hands on her thigh as carefully as possible, I looked for her reaction, her face immediately turned red and her breath caught in her throat, cute. “Hey y/n” I turned towards her “y-yeah?” She was so flustered it was adorable “about what cartman said…” she stopped shakily working, “yeah?” “He was right” she faced me “finally” she said leaning in and kissing me.
IDK what POV this is
Kyles hand gripped yours, squeezing a bit. God his hand is so big you thought he slowly inched his hand towards the hem of your leggings, tugging them down while you fumbled with his zipper, “are you sure?” Kyle breathed out in a low groan “yes Im sure kyle” you said finally getting she zipper down “wait I want to do something first’’ Kyle said laying you back on your bed pulling off your leggings and shirt, his fingers danced to the hem of your panties slowly taking them off and revealing your core, you tried to close your legs, insecure about what he thought about you but he held them open “so fucking pretty” he said leaving little hickeys on your inner thighs, making his way to your labia, he spread them and saw your hole, it was beginning to clench around nothing at all, showing him jujst how desperate you were for him, he began licking circles around your clit before dragging his tongue down to your rim, licking around it before plunging his tongue into you, eating you out like a starved man. Your hands reached to his hair, pulling him away from your pussy, “please Kyle I need you” he needed to hear no more and slide off his boxers, your jaw almost hit the ground, this man was big.
Kyle got a smug smirk on his face, rubbing the tip of his cock on your hole, gathering up the wetness before easing himself into you with a low groan, your walls clenched around him, hugging him so perfectly he couldve sworn he was in heaven, he began pumping in and out of you, and putting a finger down to rub your clit, soon enough you orgasmed around him, he kept going through your orgasm, before finally emptying himself into you, pulling out and laying back on your bed.
You guys start dating <3
I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD ENOUGH
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mugentakeda · 14 days
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pls tell me more about her + her relationship with iroh and lu ten.. she's so fascinating
GUH. thank you for asking anonsie pie. (TAKES DEEP BREATH
fuhua is a firebender, but wasnt part of the FN army. she was an entertainment firebender at this speakeasy/club for the elite joint in caldera city. her and iroh were both pushing thirty already when they met. he was just sorta tooling around with his military buds doing bachelor playboy prince shit and they ended up going into the joint. fuhua was the biggest hardass out of all the girls working that day, so she was the one entrusted to entertain His Royal Highness and his posse of noble dickheads.
iroh and fuhua actually hit it off pretty well. he was very enraptured by her while watching her perform and bend and whatever, so he followed her when she took her break and struck up a conversation with her, bought her fancy drinks and stuff. he liked her whole attitude (he is well known for liking women with attitudes) and look and whatever. she found him charming and easy to talk with despite his status. irohs pals ended up leaving after a while but iroh stayed behind because he wanted to talk to fuhua allllllll day and was totally caught up in their growing tension. eventually fuhua had to leave, so he offered to walk fuhua home. she accepted, they (naturally) had a one night fling, iroh went back to the palace, that was supposed to be that. cus having flings isnt an out of the ordinary thing for young iroh he was a #slut I'm sure we can all agree on that.
HOWEVER azulon naturally at this point is very tired of his favorite son going around whoring himself out but never picking a wife because he's pushing thirty and he needs an heir if he wants to do more military stuff. so azulon lined up a bunch of well born daughters and was like "Okay son I've had it with your dumbassery pick a wife right now". and iroh didn't like ANY of the women azulon had picked out. but then he remembered fuhua, who he got along with like a house on fire.
now please note, I made it clear in my awesome comprehensive list of Horrible No Good Fuhua Personality Traits that this woman is NOT built for marriage OR having kids. she's meant for the single hot girl life, bottomless mimosas everyday and coconut hair treatments and living alone with a cat that's as much of a jackass as she is. But its not like she can say NO to the crown prince of the fire nation, obviously. even if he seemed like a decent (????) guy. iroh found her not long after and proposed to her like "hey my dad wants me to get married but i didn't like any of the noble women Please Please PLEASE be my wife I'll make sure you never have to want for anything".
having a fun little evening chit chat session at the bar and then getting freaky for one night with a handsome guy is one thing. Being forced to marry him and have his kids is another!!!!!!! <- and fuhua is tormented by fear of having kids. on top of her just Not liking them and not being willing to give up her single hot girl lifestyle, she is tormented by fear of pregnancy and labor and all that. pregnancy and childbirth can kill you, it can kill your child (AND THEN SHE'LL HAVE TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN because she cant stop until she gives iroh an heir), it can ruin your body, so on so forth. there's a lot of factors to it that get overlooked.
and on top of that, fuhua may have worked in a club for the elite, but she was not well born. she is not a noble. she has no military creds, no training, no nobility rich people etiquette, no nothing. azulon was NOT pleased, and he made that very clear to iroh. iroh didn't give two shits, but what he didn't do was defend fuhua from azulons ire. because azulon would insult fuhua pretty openly, ALL the time. about her commoner status, her lack of "manners", how she doesn't support iroh's military ventures and shit, so on and so forth. azulon wanted iroh to have a wife that was like ilah, basically. and the worst part is that azulon would do it AROUND fuhua, but never to her face- he'd always phrase his antagonism as a question to iroh, as if fuhua was irohs misbehaving lapdog or some shit. and iroh NEVERRRR got on his dads case for it because "that's just how my father is lol don't let it get to your head dearest!!!!". just very blase and ignorant. naturally, fuhua got sick of it VERY quickly.
she took her frustration out on anyone she could. she stopped being nice to the servants, she'd antagonize ozai (who was like. a teenager at the time.), despite ozai going out of his way to avoid fuhua at all costs (ozai shared his fathers sentiments on her status and lack of manners, but he couldn't compare her to his mother. because ozai never got to meet ilah himself<- i hc that ilah died in childbirth having ozai (which is part of the reason why azulon hates ozai so much and iroh was so distant with ozai)), so on so forth. fuhua has a pretty short fuse, so she got super angry and bitter with EVERYTHING very quick. she tries to pick fights with iroh but iroh is like???? somehow oblivious to his wife's turmoil.
and then she gets pregnant and he just starts writing it all off as hormones. she hates it as much as she knew she would, but her growing hatred for iroh and everything in existence makes it even worse. she treats being pregnant like having a bug under your skin or something. its like her worst nightmare. she isn't even allowed to smoke her pipe while shes pregnant. she would, if it meant that shed kill the baby, but then she'd just have to get pregnant again. might as well get it over with. <-its at this point where she already starts planning to run away from the palace as soon as she gives birth to the baby.
on a rare night where shes pretty relaxed, iroh asks her if she wants to come up with names with him over tea. its so randomly pleasant that for a second she thinks that maybe she could become okay with this life, so long as she can get her husband to grow a pair and defend her from his father. they come up with a big list of girl and boy names, and end up going with hana for a girl, and toshiro for a boy.
azulon announces literally the next day that the kids name will be either ilah ii for a girl, or lu ten for a boy. iroh puts up zero fight about this despite him having literally just decided on names with his wife the previous day. fuhua goes right back to hating his fucking guts.
fuhua does not internally acknowledge the baby as a human. she insistently refers to the baby as an it, sees the baby as irohs spawn, etc, etc. at the point in her pregnancy where her hormones and body pain are at its peak shes genuinely insufferable to be around. like to the point where even iroh cant take it, so she just. holes herself up in their chambers for the most part. but soon she gets weirdly excited- because while even the idea of inevitably giving birth very soon scares her shitless, and even sensations of movement and whatnot from the baby makes her want to cry hysterically- its also the final bridge she'll need to cross before she can leave.
she'll leave the baby with iroh. he can have it, she doesn't want it. shes not sticking around long enough for it to be decided that iroh needs a spare heir. she'll leave empty handed and leave the main island entirely, cut her hair even. she'll go and live quietly in shu jing with one of her cousins or something. if the palace sends out a witch hunt to try and find her, she'll run to the fucking earth kingdom if she has to. shes not raising iroh's child, she's most definitely not having another one with him. she'll kill herself if all else fails.
and essentially, lu ten is born without complications, is confirmed to be a firebender. fuhua notes that iroh holds the baby with tenderness and reverence, but decidedly wouldn't care either way. she leaves in the night as soon as her legs allow her.
azulon almost sends out a witch hunt for her, but iroh tells him no, he'll go look for her himself. its not like she would've gotten far, as she's still recovering from childbirth. iroh just sends out some of the domestic forces all across the island to sneak around and try and find her. fuhua had decided to stop and stay one night at a little inn by the docks of the homeland before leaving to shu jing at first light, but for a hefty price (and fear of the royal familys wrath), the innkeeper rats her out to the soldiers that come in asking about her.
the soldiers return to business as usual once shes found just as asked, because iroh wanted to confront her alone. by the time he gets there in the early morning, he finds her preparing her raft by the docks. they confront each other and have a final one sided screaming match, fuhua pulls a knife and tells him if he tries to take her back she'll kill herself. iroh is pretty despaired, but thinks better of it and lets her go. he returns to the palace and convinces azulon (with difficulty) that he's okay with her leaving, and that lu ten is probably better off with just him anyway.
its only when azulon realizes that he agrees with that sentiment and expresses relief and satisfaction that it hits iroh how much azulon hated his wife. for some reason. but its not like he can do anything about it now.
iroh finds out through his contacts where exactly fuhua has settled down, but he ends up dropping it because he stopped caring. he has no time for a wife anymore regardless and probably never has, feels distant guilt about that, but also gladness that fuhua took the initiative to put herself first (<-WHICH IS UNFOUNDED ON HIS PART). because he'd rather she do that then stay and have lu ten subjected to her vitriol (<-IROHS FAULT).
and fuhua does end up living alone with a cat that's as much of a jackass as she is and gets coconut oil hair treatments and bottomless mimosas everyday like God intended. she doesn't keep track of whatever the fuck her ex husband does unless she hears about it on the street or whatever.
a few years later she hears that iroh's brat younger brother has taken a wife, and she has to laugh about that. she goes home and pours one out for the poor wretch.
even later than that, she hears that all the suffering she went through for iroh amounted to nothing. because iroh has allowed the dirt eaters in ba sing se to kill his son. it takes all the strength within her to not feel any kind of satisfaction or vindication at the karma of it all.
when the whole nation has a state of mourning in lu tens honor and portraits of him are plastered everywhere, its the first time she gets a glimpse of what he ended up looking like. he has iroh's square jaw, his eyebrows, his sharp eyes- but he has her high cheekbones, her narrow face, her long nose, her dimples, her deep brown skin. handsome and gentle-faced.
she looks at him for a while longer, digests all that information, and then promptly goes back to browsing the market. because shes making crab and asparagus soup tonight and frankly, that's more important to her.
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wibta if i held an intervention for my cousin?
strap in bc this is gonna be long, but first i need to introduce this little cast of characters: I (26f), my sister (23f) and my cousin (22f) are literally the only young ones in my family. my fathers siblings never married, and i have only my mother's sister (50sthF) who has married and also has a kid. so this made us kind of close since we were kids, especially my sister and my cousin (due to their close ages) were always together. we did live far from each other, and could only meet one or two times in a year.
my cousin and my sister have ocd. i have depression. we all have anxieties. my aunt and my mother both have anger issues, so we kind of can guess what kind of house my cousin is living in. and also from what we could see during our short visits. so yeah, we're all fucked up, but ever since i started therapy and forced my sister to go as well, things started to change. my cousin kept making excuses about money issues, and not really needing any therapy, but her ocd started spiraling down very quickly after her cat got sick last year (we'll get to that soon).
so here's where the problem lies: my cousin has ocd, and needs to constantly ask for approval. she also has severe separation anxiety, to the point that she cant even think about a family member or her cat dying. and see, i get that! we also had beloved pets who died and honestly it still fucks us up, but she is getting delusional about it. god forbid we mention that the cat is now an old lady, or say that shes not as sharp/agile as she was before—this makes her cry immediately. also her ocd is very focused on her cat: she thinks she can carry diseases to her cat, she gets hysterical if we change our clothes near the cats bowl, asks everyone repeatedly if sth unrelated might make the cat sick. shes also of the belief that if someone uses an insect spray, then the poison will stay there till she goes to that place and carries the poison to her cat and making her sick. we kept explaining to her that if the sprays would work like that then we wouldnt suffer from a serious ant infestation for the third year in a row, but as it goes with ocd, she just cant accept it. she only believes what her mother says, and well. her mother gets agitated Very Quickly and they start fighting which makes everything worse.
usually id interfere and tell my aunt to just get along with my cousin as shes going through therapy and medication, and i saw it first hand on my sister that it takes time for ocd to get calmer. its not like oh u started therapy? why arent u already performing like a mentally healthy person?? this is what i suffered from when i first started my therapy. but my aunts main issue isnt her ocd. the ocd is par for the course—the main problem is that my cousin never helps around the house.
we knew this, since we have been together forever, that my cousin never works. she complains a lot, even snaps if u ask her to do two things at once (even if its like hey check the kettle and btw put this glass in the sink as well). and my aunt has zero tolerance for her attitude, which leads to her doing the chore herself and well this kind of encourages my cousin to get away from the chores by complaining. she was like this ever since we were KIDS. she'd play with us and make a mess, but when we were supposed to clean everything shed either not do a thing (saying "i dont know how to" even to simple things like put the thing in the basket) or shed just. vanish. whenever we ate lunch or dinner, shed immediately go to the bathroom, and come out after everything was cleaned and washed. and before u say there might be sth else, it really wasnt. she even admitted to it later. she just didnt want to do a single shit. and well, now that shes older, its getting kind of upsetting. whenever she's alone at home she does NOTHING. and when my aunt comes back from her trip SHES the one who has to clean after my cousin, even tho she has just arrived home. this is why no matter how much she asks us to go stay with her when shes alone, we never go. bc we dont want to clean after her. or when she comes over to our house she just. barely does a thing.
this is taking a huge mental and physical toll on my aunt, bc shes physically disabled (severe migraines caused by a bubble in her head, and recently due to her bad workplace her right hand and arm are also not doing well), and even tho she kind of brought this on herself (but indirectly encouraging my cousins behavior), its still really upsetting. whenever we go to their house, my sister and i try to shoulder a part of chores, bc 1) our aunt shouldn't have to do everything by herself and 2) we were taught to help. my parents never had any tolerance for us slacking off.
cut to last week when we went to their house, and it was a huge war zone. my aunt kept shouting at my cousin for things that werent her fault (like her asking for approval or complaining about sth someone did), and on the other hand my cousin kept dodging the chores, and when my aunt asked her to do ONE thing she kept snapping at her and complaining like it was a huge deal (it really wasnt. example: my aunt asked her to put her clothes which she had already folded and put on her bed away. my cousin snapped at her that she would do it and she should get off her back and then kept complaining that her folded clothes arent bothering anyone and she shouldnt be forced to put them away. this is not an exaggeration.) i also realized that part of the problem with their relationship was how my cousin kept complaining about everything to my aunt, which makes my aunt go insane bc she needs a break from the negativity, but my cousin is very clingy and would call her multiple times a day just to bitch about sth. and hey, i also bitch about things to my mother, but i dont call her that much when shes/im away, and also i try to balance it with good fun stories. i know my cousin isnt like having a very bad life, she just likes to complain about everything. but this, coupled with her insistent need for approval, and her clinginess, makes for a bad recipe.
so, when i finally had a private moment with my cousin, i told her that she needs to do chores, and this would do wonders to the current tension! i said this very gently and very quickly bc i didnt want my aunt to overhear us, and my cousin started crying and nodding and said she would try. this made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation, until the next fucking day when my grandparents came to my aunts house and my cousin, u guessed, did nothing to help my aunt. at one point my sister found her kissing her cat instead of setting the table, and it made us both extremely mad.
i think that gently talking with her wont do good, bc she'd probably do the same thing again. i feel like i need to be more stern and a little bit harsher to hammer the point home, bc apparently she doesnt understand anything unless its shouted at her. im not gonna shame her or anything, im just gonna say that she needs to a) continue her therapy (which she has dropped for 5 months) b) take her pills regularly (which she doesnt) c) enforce a clear boundary between herself and her mother no matter how close they and d) do the chores. if she doesnt do these stuff, then she wont be able to get any sympathy from me, and my sister. also cant complain about it anymore if she's not going to do any fucking thing to improve her situation.
so, wibta?
What are these acronyms?
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scorpius-major · 1 year
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#and they were roommates
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Ft: Tighnari, ayato, scaramouche, and gn!reader
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Modern Au!
In which they are your roommate and hijinks ensue gn!reader but like hints to perfume and “girly” things ig. Also mentions of a concussion and the reader getting whacked with a chair.
Tighnari
The plant mom roommate
Tighnari is THE plant roommate. Everywhere you look there’s just a potted plant. You’ll see the most exotic plants too. AND HES SO CALM ABOUT IT. like he keeps his one endangered plant in the house and you’re just like “isnt that endangered?” He pauses, mumbles “yes” and leaves the room. He takes hella good care of them tho. Nari ALWAYS uses fresh herbs and spices when he cooks. He saw store bought spices in the cabinet and literally threw them OUT THE WINDOW. Rachel Ray who? Bro got a mortar and pestle and cracks fresh pepper. But the apartment always be smelling HEAVENLY. All that basil and mint be workin wonders for air. HES SO NEAT TOO. like bro is always tidying up when he has free time. He’s also very passive when it comes to you cleaning. “Hmmm when’s the last time you tidied your room?” Nari also helps you with with anything! Work projects or uni work he’s down to do anything with you. Even if you’re not in a relationship, he’s very domestic and cuddly! Whenever you both have free time expect late nights in and movie nights! But he’s a great roommate 9/10
Ayato
The “you’re rich why the hell do you need a roommate” roommate
There’s legit no reason why this man needs a roommate. He’s rich. Sometimes you secretly think it’s because he’s a little lonely, but he always denies it. Sometimes you don’t see him around the house. Oh yeah and it’s supposed to be an “apartment” but it’s the size of a middle class townhome. He’ll always say he’s going to “clean the apartment” SIR THAT HOUSE IS PROBABY WORTH MORE THAN MY LIFE. But the house is fr ALWAYS tidy. He will not allow the house to be messy at ALL. Unlike Nari, ayato is not passive at all. He will legit just say “go clean your room now”. Like he’s your mom. And you clean it, because he’s lowkey scary. Not even to mention the fact that the entire house is decked out with designer furniture. Gucci throw pillows, and blankets that probably costs an entire college tuition. But he always spoils you! Looked at a perfume for more than two seconds? Bam it’s on your bed the next morning. Said how you were gonna buy a watch? Well now you have a Rolex. Ayato is another one who likes to cook, but he just doesn’t have much time for it. Although whenever you eat out expect high end restaurants. He says “dw, just dress casually” AND HE SHOWS UP IN A SUIT. so you’re just sitting there in like the most upscale establishment in jeans and a tshirt. Another great roommate 8.5/10
Scaramouche
the “wait I have a roommate?” roommate
Honestly neither one of y’all knew the other existed. For like the first 6 months you thought you were living alone. He did too. It wasnt until he caught you making pudding in the kitchen at 3am. It was a pretty awkward situation tbh. Like imagine your minding your own damn business in the kitchen whippin up some delicious ass pudding and this random 5’3 dude comes downstairs. Tbh I’d panic too. Y’all fr never met before. The landlord was like pretty brief and said “oh yeah btw you have a roommate” and legit that was it. So you’re bout to put the pudding in the fridge and BRO JUST HITS YOU WITH A CHAIR. FULL FORCE ON SOME WWE SHIT. you probably had a concussion but you were more concerned about why there’s a dude with a bowl cut standing in your kitchen. in the midst of all the chaos somebody ends up saying “who tf are you???” And by grace you both say “I live here who tf are you??” At the exact same time. Then you’re both just stand there like🧍🏾‍♀️🤨. Or well he’s standing and you’re sitting bc you fell over from the chair. You both clear some stuff up. The both of you make a collective decision to blame everything on the landlord. You had a roommate for 6 months and didn’t know? The fuckin landlord man. You spilled the delectable pudding on the floor? It’s that damn landlord again. This bohemian rhapsody mf wanna start talkin shit so you bring up his relationship with his mother and he starts crying? ITS THE GOD FORSAKEN LANDLORD AGAIN. You two got this like rivalry going on. On small stuff too. Who can eat their bowl of fruit loops faster. He beats your ass in Mario kart? He will not shut up about it for the next year. You beat his ass in super smash bros? You hold it against him for the next 2 years. He’s surprisingly very neat too. I feel like he can’t cook for shit tho LMAO. Bro probably burnt tf outta pasta and never cooked it again. He leaves all the cooking to you and Uber eats. 7/10 roommate.
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ghostsprettymama · 11 months
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TEMPTATIONS
Warning: Smut,akaza being a whore,rengoku walking in on this. Y/n gets slutted out, lazy smut
Pairing : Akaza x Black reader
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Akaza never really found love again after what happened with his wife,but what he had with Y/n wasnt love, it was Lust,envy,temptations.
But with a Hashira that was close with his foe rengoku ? Akaza really was playing with his life. Akaza didnt want y/n for her beauty, but for her strengths, looks only really played into it a little.
Fom afar he observed the girl talking and smiling with Rengoku, it made his heart fil with rage and envy
To be frank, the Relationship between a Hashira and a Demon would be frowned upon. It could possibly even ger her killed in the process
How the hashira would be moaning over him,her mouth stuffed with his cock, that would be a shame if..rengoku saw right?.
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RENGOKU'S RESIDENCE
Rengoku laughed,drinking his tea ,he looked at Y/n different, as if it was a dream and she was what was making the dream good.
"And then shinobu - why are you lookin at me like that Ren?" she said tilting her head.
Rengoku smiled when Y/n said his name,the way it rolled off her tongue. he shook his head,his eyes on her as if she was a walking diamond.
She spent hours laughing and talking with Rengoku, she bent over here and there, and of course rengoku looked.
Akaza was pissed,Rengoku is eyeing whats his, He gritted his teeth. Then the demon got an idea, fucking her infront of him,her screaming his name infront of rengoku. Oou this idea made him hard.
Y/n bent down helping Rengoku clean, Rengoku once again stares at her ass, choking on his drink coughing,Y/n turned around "boy.. youre sumn else somtimes." Y/n said standing up."you should stop by my estate sometime later ren, ill make you sumn nice.." she said with a tone she didnt notice
A tone that compelled Rengoku to sin.
LATER.
Y/N RESIDENCE
Y/n came home, her braids swaying side to side as she walked into a poorly lit room greeted by Akaza, an ex acquaintance of hers. A Fuck buddy that loved her.
He Glared at her,But Y/n had no time to deal with this man. she leaned on the sliding door and stared back. "Akaza get out. i have a friend coming, a slayer."
"sit the fuck down before i kill you and him." he said,with a touchstarved yet angered tone, Y/n looked down and he was hard,needy, craving for her mouth.
Y/n then met his angered and jealous eyes "Make me." she said, getting in his face as his look changed,he was calm now,as an eyebrow raised.
"cant do shit to m-"
Akaza's hand wrapped around her throat tight,Y/n got a lil wet as she lowered herself keeping eye contact "good girl. see? obeying me aint that hard." he said, gently caressing her.
"Youre so mean.." Y/n said,upset that he didnt allow her to tease him, he looked down at her with eyes of a sinful man, someone that wants to break and overstimulate her so bad.
-------
Rengoku was walking for a long time, Y/n's estate sure was so far, he took a break for a momment.
"Damn.. this woman lives so fucking far." He said approaching the quiet estate, for some reasons the gate was open?
"Thats strange.. Y/n would never leave her gate open.." Rengoku said as he locked it behind him approaching the house.
When he got in the hallway he saw clothes on the floor.. both were recognizable.
His heart beated so hard yet so fast as he approached the room she was in, he stood infront of the door while hearing the most vile things a human could.
Y/n was a moaning mess as skin slapping room,Akaza tilted his head back grunting. "You make me feel so good baby."
Y/n developed tears in her eyes turning into a moaning mess,akaza’s eyes turned to where Rengoku’s silhouette was.
“We have an Audience? care to greet them baby?" he coo'd and she shook her head,she was too overstimulated to respond, pussy was being filled by akaza, she couldnt think at all.
the worse part is, All of this made Rengoku hard as he watched his crush get her brains fucked out,,
he wished that was him... he stared as Akaza's laugh filled the house echoing.
To be continued.
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lubotomies · 5 months
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i could be remembering this wrong but wasnt there a trend with badly written tord redemption shit where edd & matt forgave him IMMEDIATELY and tom was portrayed as the bad guy for not also doing that
absolutely correct and you could place money on the bet that it would still be tomtord. also tord would also be unintentionally incredibly guilt-trippy because they wanted him to hate himself for betraying them but cant write nuance so heres my impression of a 2018 tomtord panic attack tord redemption fic that lacks any substance:
''Tom... I-I'm-''
''Sorry?'' Tom interrupted with a snarl. ''Shove it up your arse. I don't want your fake remorse.''
Fake...?
Oh... His chest was feeling tight. His organic hand moved up towards his own heart instinctually, gripping the fabric. His robotic arm reached out to him.
''I-I assure you, my remorse is not fake... I genuinely feel bad for what I've done to you...''
Tom whips around, and Tord stumbles back, startled. Tom takes a few steps forward, closing the distance between them again, jabbing his index finger in his chest.
''Bull. Shit. You don't feel bad at fucking all. You're the same old bastard who blew up our house, killed our neighbour, punched Matt and betrayed Edd's trust! Even if you did feel bad,'' his finger leaves his chest as his hands move up to mime air quotes. ''Feeling bad doesn't undo all that. Feeling bad doesn't make you changed, and it doesn't make you better, it doesn't mean you've learned your lesson and it certainly doesn't mean people should forgive you!''
Tord finds it difficult to breathe now. His heart is thumping in his ears, he thinks if he put his fingers on his wrist to feel for a pulse they'd spring back from the force of his heartbeat. He bites his lip and bows his head as it heats up with shame.
Tom's venomous words have not stopped there.
''You want to make it up to everyone? You want it to be even? Then fucking KILL YOURSELF!!!!'' He punctuates by shoving Tord to the ground.
''I'm sorry.'' Tord whispers. His hands move up to his hair, gripping it tightly as he draws his knees up to his chest. ''I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.''
Tom quirks a brow.
The words tumble out without much thought. ''You're right. I-I shouldn't have come back. I shouldn't h-have asked for forgiveness. I'm worthless, I'm a s-sack of shit.'' He says, still hushed but at least audible. He sniffs, and a hand moves from their place in his hair over to rub away his tears. ''Everyone would be better off if I killed myself. I ruined your lives, and now I'm back making them worse a-again.''
and then it ends with tom feeling bad and trying to forgive tord all the while tord continues to do this dumb ass self-deprecating whining and snivelling and at least 1 panic attack per chapter because tom says cartoonishly evil shit so tord gets his redemption via ;;_;; im sawwddd and have anxwiettyyyyy guilt tripping everyone around him into forgiving him and making them walk on eggshells because if you dont forgive him for murder he'll be saaaaaadddd 😢
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vriskabot · 25 days
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davris morning routine hcs?
YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD I WAS PLAYING MINECRAFT cracks my knuckles. this kinda turned into sleeping habit and self care hcs as a whole sorry not sorry -vriska is not a night owl or a morning person but she IS a long and heavy sleeper. do not wake her up before she is good and ready or you WILL get torn a new asshole bare minimum. if the verbal lashing does not work she will escalate immediately and directly to grievous bodily harm -dave is probably the only person who can manage this without dying but even THEN he would much rather get on her ass about going to sleep on time than get on her ass about getting up in the morning -dave is a much lighter sleeper and honestly naturally a nap guy. i think on a genetic level the strilondes dont sleep long even when they DO manage to sleep (dirk and rose are notorious insomniacs) but i dont think dave really minds it -nobody knows when he sleeps but he does! hes just Constantly Around -this was only further reinforced by living with bro and being trained and all that jazz so daves sort of got a built in alarm clock (lol time player) -in that vein dave can kinda predict when vriska is gonna be up based on what time shes gone to sleep so he can be in and out of the bathroom before she needs to be in there which is. a very very good thing -i think dave was a lot more anal (and anxious) about what he looked like when he was a teen (to the point of being unable to leave the house if his hair wasnt JUST right) but hes way more lax about it now -that being said i also dont think hes gone fully curly girl now that hes okay with his hair having a single iota of texture whatsoever. he just combs it into the style he wants it to dry in and lets nature take the wheel after that (its very soft and vriska LOVES to touch and tousle it) -he MAYBE uses a light pomade while wet if anything but thats only if he NEEDS his hair to stay nice all day -vriska on the other hand. woo buddy. -depending on how im feeling about her styling, shes either full 17 step curly hair routine or blowdried + straightened + hairsprayed until its crunchy even if her hair is naturally already straight -like im sorry shes SO emo -i think a lot of that stemmed from the sort of persona she put on to protect herself that ended up becoming her taste Anyway -the full face of makeup + done hair carries a very Intentional feeling that makes her seem a little less off the wall, has-no-clue-what-shes-doing than she really IS -ultimately its about control! having more control over the interpersonal dynamics and the flow of things based on the kind of assumptions people make about her based on the way she presents herself -dave was doing his similarly insane hair routine at 13 14 15 for the same exact reasons -dont let her fool you though its all smoke and mirrors -when she was in her teens it was definitely a full coverage foundation + powder foundation + pencil liner for EVERYTHING situation and loads of dark eyeshadow -in her adulthood though i think shed be alright with like. a much more lightweight base like bbcream or even just concealer in spots for daily wear and she saves the full face beat for more special occasions like dates and shit -as much as i think dave finds later on in life that he actually kinda enjoys cooking, hes not up making a Full Breakfast every day -theyre both perfectly fine with like. toast and microwave breakfast sausage to eat -vriska however is not to be trusted with the stove. she sucks SO bad at cooking save for the few dishes shes ruined enough times that shes got the experience to do it right -both of them are horrible caffeine fiends. they will drink soda or energy drinks with breakfast and then wonder why their fucking stomachs hurt later -i think in the case of NEEDING caffeine vriska is much more varied in her intake sources--energy drinks, soda, coffee, and tea are all viable options depending on how much energy she feels she needs -dave though... he feels like the "starts with an energy drink and only drinks other stuff when he has a craving" kinda guy
-though maybe thats the raging adhd you tell me -their bed is almost never ever made and both of them live in organized chaos. whether or not they ENJOY the chaos is a different story entirely -vriska is a blanket hog AND a pillow hog so they eventually had to settle on each having their own blankets -vriska loathes mint toothpaste and dave is a cinnamon toothpaste guy so you can imagine how much of a eureka moment vriska had the first time she spent the night -and yes that means she was just bearing with the mint because she had no clue there was any other option -uhhhhh i cant think of much else more on this topic i hope u enjoyed <3
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kookblurx · 7 months
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1920 - jjk [ chpt 3. ]
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→ SUMMARY: a photo of a beautiful smiling boy; an old tree in your grandparents garden ... and a feeling of sadness. all those things are connected to each other ...
→ GENRE: time travel au; changing fate au; rencarnation au; university au; death; sickness; historical setting; trigger topics; smut; dirty talk; switching between present and the past.
→ chapter 2 / chapt. 4
→ RATING: 18+
→ NOTE: thank you for blowing up the first chapter with so many reblogs and welcome to all new followers. also if there are any creative people among us, feel free to design a header for this story. i will try to include every pic in the next chapters + linking your account. ( no must! ). Also please enjoy the second chapter <3 DISCLAIMER; this is a piece of art, not many events will be historically correctly.
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BTS MASTERLIST ♡.°₊ˎˊ PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER
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The Present:
as you ran back into the mansion you neary stumbled over one of the cats who frequently visit this place.
"sorry little one" you spitted out breathless before you climbed up the stairs.
you needed to get to your laptop before your grandparents noticed that you are back inside again. this might be your vacation but your grandma loved to give you tasks whenever she saw you around. inside your room you immediately locked the door behind you; something which was unacceptable in this house but now you didnt cared. with shaking hands you started the black notebook on your bed. it wasnt the newest one but it was doing its job during university. to your displeasure it took ages for it to boot up, at least you had some time to change into a set of clean clothes. as you got back to the laptop it was finally up and ready to go. the first thing you googled was " the berserker" plus the year he lived in. of course there were a few matches to the search but none of it was a reliable source. the most things which came up were forums where people shared the rumours and myths from back then. here and there jungkook's name popped up, followed by people asking who he was. one of those bloggers seemed kinda hurt about the lack of knowledge those people had. maybe he was the key to this mystery. you clicked on his username, determined to sent this "chimchim" person an email. your email was short, its content were a simple sentence:
"i know who jungkook was. could you please answer me some questions?"
while you waited for an answer you got back to google. there you putted jungkook's full name in and voila, a lot of sources popped up. even history blogs same as newsletters wrote about him. none of them metioned that he was a war hero. something was off for sure. none of those articles mentioned what had happened to him, only that he "allegedly died in 1920. not how or why he died on that specific spot. at the same time someone added you in the chatrooms which were open on your laptop. taking a quick glance presented you the username "chimchim" on the screen. hesitant if you should answer him right away you clicked on the log in button.
chimchim:hey, just saw your email. what do you wanna know? blueberry: this mind sound weird. but i found this pic in my grandparents mansion [ inserts the pic ]. i found out its about a .. jungkook guy. chimchim: holy crap. do you realize how much this pic is worth it?! blueberry: i dont care. you seem to know a lot about him so .. can you answer me so questions? chimchim: fine, what do you wanna know? blueberry: why does none of the newssites ever mention that he was a war hero? chimchim: shit, you know about that? i only heard some rumours. probably has something to do with his family. they took it down that they had a famous ancestor. blueberry: but why? chimchim: i dont know. im sure they are hiding something. blueberry: hiding something? why would someone want to hide such a accomplishement? chimchim: exactly. blueberry: you .. dont happen to know how he died or what happened to him? chimchim: there are rumours but no one is certain about that. blueberry: what are those rumours? chimchim: the one that keeps popping up is that he got betrayed by his own people. no one knows if it was his lover, best friend or his own parents. but he didnt died because of a war. blueberry: betrayed you say ... chimchim: hey, if your grandparents had this pic, they surely have more infos in their house. i need to go. i will try to dig up some more. bye!
with those words chimchim logged off. maybe he was right, there must be something in your grandparents library .. but before you went there again you got back to google. chimchim mentioned a lover, there must be something about her on the internet. after 10 minuted you finally found another blog full of history nerds who talked about her.
"lets see ..."
you clicked on the "more" button on one of the blog entries. apperently the berserk was in love with a commoner, a normal girl from another village. but as everything else in his life, this was just another rumour. no one exactly knew who she was or where she came from. the only certain thing everyone knew that she popped up out of nowhere. weird, how can someone appear out of nowhere? as you read more of the blog the whole situation became weirder and weirder. the girl seemed to dissapear here and there and didnt came back for days. as you wanted to give up, a comment catched your attention. someone wrote about her name, her alleged name. you read through the whole comment but as soon as you reached the part with her name, your vision became blurry. frantically you rubbed your eyes with both hands but it didnt helped. suddenly the screen turned brighter, so bright that it hurted your eyes. you closed your eyes shut, hoping it would stop. thats something your laptop never did before; as you reached out your hand to press the buttons, your fingertips touched the soft fabric of the bedsheets. were you going insane? your laptop was right there.
slowly you opened your eyes, first you didnt noticed any major chances but then ... as soon as your eyes fully adjusted to the change of light, you nearly fell down from the bed. this wasnt your bedroom.
The Past:
"not again ..."
thanks to the furniture it didnt took you long to realize where you were right now. somehow you travelled back in time, again. suddenly you remebered the words of the fairy about trigger points and places. a sigh escaped your mouth, so you really managed to trigger another puzzle piece of the past. something which includes the name of the mysterious lady in jungkook's life. leaning back on your hands, the fingertips of your left hands bumped into something. your whole body froze. this cant be right? slowly you turned your head to the side. underneath the red fabric of the blanket .. there was someone, breathing. peacfully asleep as it seemed. from here you couldnt see who it was and you didnt cared first. slowly you scooted away from the warm body as slowly as you could. at the same time your right hand slipped, sending you flying onto the ground.
your ellbow hit the hard wodden floor, making you whine in pain. were floors always this hard in the past? you bit down on your bottom lip while holding your ellbow, making sure to not make another sound. the person underneath the blanket started to shift more as a grunt was heard. you were so busy tending to your hurting ellbow that you didnt noticed how the person sat up on the bed. it really hurted like hell as you prayed that you didnt broke it.
"... oh -... oh my god are you okay?!"
with a painful expression you finally looked up to the bed. there he was, shirtless. jeon jungkook. instead of getting mad and screaming at you, he threw the blanket away. as he did that before getting down from the bed, your face turned into a tomato. he wasnt only shirtless, he was completely naked.
"w-wait! stop!" with your other hand you started to cover your face. "but .. you hurted yourself! let me see your ellbow" jungkook on the other hand seemed totally unfazed by the fact that he was naked.
out of nowhere your heart started to race as you still covered your eyes. this was too embarrassing. you knew how a naked men looked like, of course you do. you are not a child anymore but this man was a total stranger. someone you only saw once. on top of that, realistically speaking, he was already dead in your timeline. shutting your eyes close, you reached out with your hand. pressing against his chest to keep him away from you.
"dont be like that! let me see if its broken!" jungkook complained while trying to press forward. "c-can you please, for god's sake, wear some clothes!"
jungkook stopped in his movements as he finally saw how red your face was. a sigh escaped his lips, the next thing you heard were his footsteps. another noise you couldnt assign to an item inside the room. then again, he was right in front of you, this time you opened your eyes slowly, only to be met with his bare chest. at least he was wearing some pants now.
"can i see it now?" his voice grew more impatient, so you just nodded holding your ellbow into his direction.
jungkooks fingertips were soft on your skin as he looked at your ellbow. by now it had turned slightly red but the pain was still prominent. this changed as you finally looked into jungkook's face. the last time you got here you werent able to see it so close in front of you. he might be a war hero but his facial expressions were kinda soft; an indication that he didnt got corrupted by all the wars he went to. on his cheek was a scar, kinda deep somehow it suited him. his dark lock fell into his face, framing it oh so gently. the first urge which befell you was to touch it. to run your fingers through it while he tended to your ellbow. your eyes travalled further down to his chest. it was defined but not too muscular, further down you could see a hint of a sixpack. at the same time you really hoped he didnt heard your loud gulp as you saw how his biceps kept flexing while examining ellbow.
"seems fine to me ... maybe we should bring you over to one of the doctors just to be - ..." jungkook lifted his head were he noticed how close you two were to each other.
you kept looking into his eyes and suddenly your heart nearly jumped out of your chest. bubbles of happieness rised up inside of your stomach as at the same time your hands became sweaty. what was this feeling? even jungkook seemed to be distracted by something as he kept staring at you. the grip on your ellbow grew more tightly, normally it would hurt but you didnt felt it. you only felt his soft fingertips on your hot skin. time suddenly stopped existing around the two of you as jungkook leaned in more closely. for the first time you noticed his scent. he smelled like soap, like the woods after a rain fall and like lavender in the morning.
"i ... thank you, really" your mouth felt dry as you finally spoke up. jungkook on the other hand didnt spoke a word, he only nodded in response. "you can ... let go if me now" at the same time your heart told you that he shouldnt.
to your suprise he actually did let go, stood up and turned his back towards you. god, even his back was muscular with his broad shoulders. why does such guys doesnt exist in your timeline? your legs were a bit shaky as you stood up, watching him as he putted on a white shirt from the closet. it fitted him perfectly and flattered his muscles in every way. jungkook's waist was so small and thin, it would be so easy to wrap your arms around it. the moment you took a step forward the door sprung open. a breathless jimin was seen
"jungkook, its serious. we need your help!"
jimin completely ignored your presence as jungkook walked past you "what is it" "t-the ironbloods, they are attacking the village again!" "... alright, go and grab my sword. we will set out immediately" for a short second jungkook looked over his shoulder into your direction.
this wasnt good. maybe he was killed there? you needed to stop him. immediately you strechted out your hand, stumbling forward.
"wait! y-you cant-!"
the door closed and at the same time your hand went right through it. your whole body straight went through the door before crashing onto your bedroom floor. the pain in your head was unbearable as you tried to sit up. both of your hands formed into fists.
"why now?! how can i save him like this?! why did you brought me back now!" you screamed into your empty room, hoping your fairy would answer you. there was nothing, nothing but silence.
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taglist:
@junecat18 @hellbornsworld
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matthewmurdockswife · 6 months
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best friends brother with matt sturniolo?
Best friends brother x matt sturniolo
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It was actually chris who had introduced me to matt we’ve now been together for almost two years and I agreed to let the fans in on more of our life so we decided to do a Q&A video
Nick introduced the video and after a few minutes of us messing around the questions started “Ok so someone asked if you were to get married would matt move out from the triplet house” chris recited the question from his phone “ No” was all matt had awnsered “ I’m pretty sure if we got married I’d just move in with them” I said as I watched matt “ I think y/n has grown as attached to us at matt is” nick jokes but we all knew it wasnt a joke I loved being here And I Loved matt and his brothers were my support system I cant imagine what I would do without them they’re always there for me. “Okay next question how did you guys meet?” Nick reads off of his phone“I started this” chris sighs in a mockingly upset tone and i punch him in the arm jokingly “ Thats true I was best friends with chris long before I met nick and matt I knew I liked matt about 3 months after we met when we started hanging out one on one and I got to really know matt as a person and the rest became history” I smiled holding matts hand knowing I was so lucky to have met him and be with such an amazing, giving and loving person“and next week we hit our 2 year anniversary” matt smiles at me “Gross” nick says watching in disgust I move out of the way as the triplets do their outro and sit on the couch chris and matt comes and joins me while nick sits in the chair.“ two years is wild” chris says trying to initiate conversation “ crazy to think that ive known you longer than that” I laugh at chris
“ you’re old” I joke him he mock pouts and pretends to be angry while I look over at the love of my life next to me kicking his brother, my best friend in the leg I dont know how fate placed me into this but im so grateful to able to be with people as amazing as the three boys that sit in front of me today laughing and joking around like ive been with them their whole lives
Im even more grateful for matt the beautiful boy who sits next to me holding my hand and hugs me whenever I feel like the world is falling apart, matt knows how to fix me, he knows me.
a/n yall this shit from the VAULT shes been in my drafts forever lmao sorry i forgot abt them
@stvrni0lo @dwntwn-strnlo @fenoy7
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aita-blorbos · 7 months
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my friends directed me to this blog to see what people would think about my situation. theyre fully supportive, but wanna see what tumblr thinks, i guess.
aita for killing the person who murdered my family, and then killing my rich abusive adoptive father?
hi. im like, 19. or 20. i lost count. i dont care about gender, but i guess im male and use he/him. anyway. when i was around 10, there was a break and enter into my house. we were getting robbed. the robber killed my mom and dad, while i snuck into the kitchen do grab a kitchen knife. i stabbed him in the back and took his gun while he was stunned. i was scared to use it, so instead i just kept stabbing him until he stopped breathing. great childhood, i know.
anyway, after that, i was all alone. i didnt know where my brother went, and my parents were dead. we didnt really have an extensive family, so there were no funerals, and there was no one to take care of me. so for a while i just roamed the streets. some random guy saw me, and seeing a kid covered in blood probably isnt the most normal thing, so he ran up to ask if i was ok. he brought me to an orphanage, where i stayed for a while. eventually, my second "dad" (i dont even want to call him that. hes a disgrace compared to my real father, even calling him a parent feels disrespectful) came to the orphanage to adopt a kid. said kid was me. i was happy, cause id finally have a home again, and he was rich! i would be spoiled, and given a wonderful life for the trauma i had to go through.
i was wrong, though. the guy who adopted me was a prick. he was a rich scumbag who only thought about others if it meant he could say bad things about them. he was negligent, and would sometimes hit me. he got drunk all the time, and usually i was left alone in his huge house, only having the occasional housemaid to care for me. whenever i see pictures of the interiors of huge houses or mansions it gives me chills. anyway, after all this bullshit, i finally thought enough was enough. i still carried a few knives on me ever since the incident, in case something bad happened again. at night when no one except the two of us were in the house, i stabbed him in the heart while he was sleeping. i took all his money, and figured if worst comes to worst, i could pay my way out of being punished for murder. fortunately, that wasnt even necessary. when i called 911 pretending like i had no idea what happened, none of the officers even touched me. no one had a clue i had the weapon. it was eventually ruled down to a robber that got away, ironically enough.
after all this, i inherited all of his shit. all the money, the whole house, and all his stupid rich guy bullshit (think yachts, fancy cars). it was all mine. i turned the house into a housing unit, letting anyone who wanted to to live in it (like the homeless or people who needed to get away from an abusive household), given how huge it was. seriously, it felt like a palace in a disney movie. i sold all the shit he had that i didnt care about, or gave it away for free to others. i donate frequently to charity. i make sure i dont keep too much money for myself at a time, and i dont buy stupid things that i dont actually need. i dont want to become like him.
alright, so heres the final question. i know some people think murder is unacceptable, no matter how evil the victim is, that my parents may be watching me from the stars with hatred, and that rich peolle are assholes. but im trying my best to be a good person.
am i the asshole?
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davactivated · 6 months
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🌶 ☀️ 💙 🦖 🍷 🐙 🦜 💣 🔮 🌟 🟢⚔️😦🏠🍿🎉
Go nuts
Doing this one first because this is very many and i love answering questions thank yoy meatpit 🫶🫶
(🌶️) how do they feel about becoming a farmer?
" Marcus wasnt always fond with farming but his grandfather was, but also he really wanted to stay somewhere he can enjoy himself and be himself! He started to learn how to farm little by little until he finally got the hang of it, and honestly he's proud of himself! he loves poultry and is still trying to learn about it "
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(☀️) do they adjust to living in the valley easily?
" They didn't adjust well atfirst.., because marcus isnt always the type of person to talk until he gets the courage too and he needs to talk to others to make progress and to ask help from. but he really is sweet and a goofball when you gets to talk, he's just a little shy. BUT his main way of talking is body language! he loves moving around "
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(💙) do they have any blue chickens?
" .... ALOT. "
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(🦖) do they incubate the dino eggs? how many dinos do they have?
" He found an egg and found it interesting and decided to incubate it and got 3 dinos now, he tends to separate them from his lovely chickens because he really doesnt want anything to happen to his children "
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(🐙) what fish do they struggle to catch?
" The squid. "
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(🍷) what is your farmer's main way of making money?
" Mostly through mayonnaise actually! he's actually planning to get more void chickens and chickens in general to proccess those good quality eggs into mayonnaise without troubles. even tho he'll work his ass off to work in the mines for some earth crystals and copper bars "
(🦜) does your farmer befriend leo? what do they think of him?
" when marcus saw leo he really felt empathy towards leo, he was really patient with the little guy and offered him gifts whenever he visits, he likes leo! and he wants to build a small bond with him, like a little big brother figure you know? "
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(💣) what's the lowest they ever gone in the skull caverns?
" around a 110! and then marcus passed out atleast 5 times trying to go to that actual level again for iridium ore "
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(🔮) best thing they ever found while in the skull caverns?
" His beloved dark cowboy hat and his first ever prismatic shard! Also when I lost my hammer when i passed out in the skull caverns "
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(🌟) what is their reaction when they get their first stardrop?
" when he got his first stardrop he was absolutely amaaazed, on how much he descovers alot of stuff in this valley and he's absolutely excited to know whats in store for him "
(🟢) does your farmer get a slime hutch? do they use it?
" No sadly.. not planning on building one either... "
(⚔️) what is their weapon of choice?
" Hammers! especially the galaxy hammer "
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(😦) is your farmer afraid of the monsters?
" Absolutely not... Except for that one damn Serpent I shit myself everytime "
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(🏠) does your farmer buy a house for pam and penny? do they reveal their identity or stay anonymous?
" he wishes to!! But he's on a hella tight budget and the community upgrade is faaar out of his reach for him atm, he can't do that "
(🍿) what's their favorite theater snack?
" Marcus loves salmon burgers!! He tends to be careful when eating it because he doesn't wanna make any mess but honestly he loves it "
(🎉) what is your farmer's favorite festival?
" His favorite festival is the town fair!! He absolutely loves it when that festival goes around he wouldn't miss it for the world, He also loves Feast of the winter star!! "
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witchersmistress · 9 months
Text
Simmering Rage
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Hello my darlings!! you are in luck today!! ive got a couple of chapters for you, typing this out on a cellphone wasnt the best but i made do with what i had.
Trigger Warnings: Anger, Rage, Blood and violence, and self hatred
Word count:4.3 K
August pov
 My phone chimes with a notification on the seat beside me. I check the screen. Lo again. I haven’t seen her since my car . After I found out what Harper did, I was in a bad place for a while. I don’t remember much of the rest of the mission. The monster operated in my place, holding space for me until I was ready to come back. When the mission l ended, and I had time to think things through, I stopped thinking about what Harper had done and finally looked at the facts behind it. Of course, my mind went straight to the one person who could have told her about Hockington—Gloria Walton.
They’d gotten close, thanks to me, and I fucking paid for it. For letting a Darling into my life, letting her get in with my friends. That’s what I get for letting anyone close to me. Still, it’s a dick move on my part not to at least give Lo a chance to defend herself. If she wasn’t the one who told Harper, I cut her off for nothing. Harper could have bribed someone who worked there, seen me leaving with someone and tracked her down, rooted through my stuff or Dad’s when she was at our house and somehow put it together. It’s better this way, though. Better not to have anyone around me who knows shit about my life. When Lo found out about room 504, it felt safer to keep her close, to give her a reason not to tell anyone. Even if we never talked about it, never talked about our families the way I did with Harper or any real shit, our friendship was real. 
But letting people into my life is a mistake. People blackmail and betray. And if it was her, if she told Harper… Well, Preston can fucking have Gloria. When my phone rings a minute later, I sigh and pick it up. We can talk once. Just to clear some things up. I’m not going to give her a ride anywhere, like I used to when she didn’t have gas money. My car smells like a swamp from all the times I’ve dropped my muddy boots and rubber coveralls in here this summer. Gloria would ask questions, and I’m not about to answer. “Hey,” she says. “I figured you’d ghost me again.” “What’s up, Lo?” I ask, my voice sounding weary. “Do you use the OnlyPics app?” “No,” I say flatly, bristling at the insinuation. “Why would I?” “That’s not—I didn’t mean you’d put stuff up.” “Why?” I ask. “You don’t think people would pay to see my dick?” “No!” she says quickly. “I mean, they would, if you wanted to put it up. That’s not why I was asking, though.” “So, you don’t want to see my dick? That’s not how I remember it.” I’m being an asshole, but she’s basically calling me a whore. She knows better than to ask if I use an app that’s basically a sex worker platform. I don’t get paid for sex, and I don’t need to sell pictures of my body for money. The OnlyPics app was supposed to be a companion to OnlyWords, which is a texting app with, as its name implies, only words in the messages. Everyone likes OnlyWords, but it has no photo sharing capabilities. So the same company made OnlyPics but it was basically a knock-off Instagram where you can’t use captions and the hashtags are hidden, only used by the algorithms to know who to show them to. It probably would have died a quick death if it weren’t for the sex worker industry, who cashed in on three key features—the ability to add a link to profiles, where they added their payment link; the fifteen-second video limit, which let them put up teases to get people hooked; and the private chat feature, which let them send someone the rest of the video for whatever fee they wanted to negotiate or even video chat for a live show.
 I don’t use the app because I’m not an amateur porn star, and if I want to watch porn, I can do it for free like everyone else. If I need a live feed, I have a phone full of numbers of chicks who would be happy to put on a show for me, and I can do more than watch and jerk off. I’m not interested in that any more than I am this app. “Okay, let’s try this again,” Gloria says. “You remember how Harper  disappeared off the face of the earth when you dumped her?” I stiffen in my seat, yanking the wheel to pull off at the nearest exit at the last second. The car behind me lays on the horn, but I ignore it. The noise is almost drowned by the pounding of blood in my ears. “Yeah, what about it?” I ask Gloria. “Well, I think I found her.” “On a porn site?” I ask, hoping like hell someone just uploaded the video of her sucking someone’s dick from last year. It fucks with my head to think that one year ago today, I didn’t even know the name Harper Avery. It was another month before I would see her giving head in the parking lot behind the tampon factory. “Hey, don’t judge me,” Gloria says. “Your brothers have been out of town all summer, and you’ve been ignoring me. I’m having a dry spell.” I could tell her the twins are back, but if she ran her mouth to Harper, I don’t want her around my house, running her mouth to my brothers. So I point out the obvious. “There are more than three dicks in this town.” “Once you go Walker, you never go back,” she says lightly. “And anyway, I only saw it because she sent it to Dawson.” I’m glad I pulled over at the exit, because I’d probably run someone off the road right now if I were still driving. I grip the steering wheel with one hand and close my eyes. My voice comes out so normal you’d think I was just a guy who dumped a girl and didn’t give a fuck about what happened to her since. “I’m afraid to ask, but… Does your brother always share porn with you?” “No, you weirdo,” she says. “Someone DM’d him, and I’ve been obsessing about her all summer, so he showed it to me. He thinks it’s funny as shit.” “Why are you obsessing about Harper?” I demand. 
What the fuck. Maybe I should have kept in touch with Lo. She could find out shit, maybe even the truth. “I don’t know,” she says. “Don’t you think it’s weird that she just… Vanished? I mean, I’m not saying you’re not worth going off the deep end over, or that you couldn’t eviscerate her heart so completely she could never love again. She liked to play it cool, but she really loved you, August. Like, the kind of love that eats you alive, and you’re never the same again.” “Put that shit on a ninety-nine cent Valentines card. You could make real money.”
“Keep playing, you didn’t feel it, too,” she says. “But y’all broke a lot of hearts when you broke up, not just your own. Everyone figured you’d get back together.” “What’s your point?” I snap. I don’t need a fucking lecture about how much I disappointed everyone. She can add it to my fucking tab for all the times I fucked up and pissed off everyone who matters. “My point is, even if Harper was devastated beyond repair, she’s not the kind of chick who would let a breakup destroy her. She’s stronger than that. You may be irreplaceable even to her, but you’re still a boy. And it would take more than one boy to break Harper.” Maybe not one boy. But one boy who shared her with two more against her will? A broken hand and a rope she couldn’t get free of, a swamp full of snakes more poisonous than her? Yeah. That could do it. “Then it obviously had nothing to do with me,” I say. “Maybe she got hooked on Lady Alice or Pearl Lady or whatever the fuck they’re calling it now, and she’s selling herself to pay for it like a regular junkie. Hell, her mom basically said as much.” “It did blow up the scene right around that time…” Gloria muses. “Maybe she’ll tell you for the right price,” I say flatly. “That’s all she’s ever cared about.” “August…”
 “What?”
 “Look, I don’t know everything that went down between you, but I know what it’s like to walk away from love. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean your heart wasn’t decimated, too.” My laugh is brittle, like stepping on glass. “You’re funny, Lo.” I could ask her, just come right out and be blunt, like King. But I can’t acknowledge that much aloud. The hotel is its own world. When we leave, we don’t mention what goes on there. I don’t tell the school that Gloria is a scholarship kid. I elevated her. And she never tells anyone that I get a room there every few months. Would she risk telling someone, knowing she could lose it all? Even if she hates me, she loves her status too much to risk it. What would make her turn on me like that? Harper didn’t tell that creep where she found out the information. But it has to be Lo. No one else knows. So, I hung up the phone, letting her think this is about a breakup.
 That it’s not about a murder, not about a girl coming back from the dead, a ghost dragging her broken body from the swamp and crawling back into my brain to fuck with it even more. I open my email, the one connected to the OnlyWords and OnlyPics apps by default because it’s all made by the same company. I barely remember thumbing away the automatic notifications I got when someone sent me a message this summer. I ignored them all, knowing they were porn spam. My chest is hollow as I open one from my spam folder. It tells me I have twenty-four new messages on OnlyPics. I follow the link and open my direct messages. The first one is a thumbnail of a video, sent this evening. If it’s from Harper, she changed her handle from BadApple. For a few seconds, all I see is a closeup of part of her tattoo. I take it in, examining it until I realize it’s her hip crease, and pressed along the back of her thigh, an expanse of pale skin. It takes me a minute to make sense of what I’m seeing. Whoever she’s fucking, he’s got her folded in half like her legs are over his shoulders while he nails her into the bed. There’s no caption, and there are no words even on the messenger, so I have to click on the profile to find an explanation. Apple Cream Pie, $1k/min. Time seems to skip. Some caveman part of me must take over, because the next thing I know it’s five minutes later, and I’m five thousand dollars lighter, and I’m slamming my phone against the top of the steering wheel over and over. I feel it crunch and snap, but I keep pounding it until there’s nothing left in my hand, and the pieces of it are scattered across my lap and the floor. Time skips again. I’m in my driveway at home. Blood is dripping down the steering wheel and into my lap. 
I open my hand and find pieces of glass jutting from my palm in a dozen places. And all I think about is that day my car was bombed, and Harper tried to pick the glass from my face with her tiny, careful fingers. I climb out of the car. There’s a black Jaguar parked on the gravel, a tall figure leaning against it. I walked up to him. Something in me seems to have been knocked loose, and I think I might fucking kill him, even though it’s just Oliver Finnegan, who never goes inside. He doesn’t approve of the family business. “Hullo, August,” he says, his Irish accent distorting the words. Or maybe it’s the ringing in my ears. “Am I in your spot? I can move the car.” “Don’t worry about it.” He cocks his head, his weird, pale eyes taking in the blood on my pants, my hand. “You alright, mate?” I shrug and head for the house. Just as I’m about to step inside, his brother steps out, a black duffle in one hand, probably full of cash or those fucking pearls everyone’s on about. Colin Fucking Finnegan. My eyes narrow, my fists clenching until I can feel the glass biting deeper, piercing through my skin and into the muscle and sinew. “Was it you?” I grind out. Part of me knows it’s impossible, but maybe he sent the photo on his way here, or maybe he took it earlier. I need Baron to find the date signature on a video, if it’s even possible. For all I know, Harper’s dead, and she took those videos herself while we were together. If she’d sell my dignity for a scholarship, why wouldn’t she sell videos of herself fucking 2other guys when she was with me? “Whatever it was, I bet it was me,” Colin says, flashing me a knowing grin that shows off his chipped front tooth. “Are you still sore about that beating you took last spring?” “You know what it’s about.” “If it’s not that, you’re pissed you didn’t get a cut of this,” he says, jiggling the bag. “Don’t fucking push me right now,” I warn. His creepy eyes go smug. “Or… You still on about that whore? I figured that’s what set you off last spring. Everyone in town knows I fucked her first. Are you just finding out?” “Where is she?” I demand, grabbing him around the neck and slamming him up against the wall. “Where the fuck do you have her, you cum guzzling, festering wad of infected dick cheese?” A cocky, defiant grin stretches his lips. “Aww, did you catch something off her?” he asks. “Wasn’t me, mate. I popped that cherry when there were barely three hairs on her pussy. Haven’t touched her since.”
I don’t know exactly what happens next. I don’t see Colin Finnegan in front of me anymore. All I see is red. The next thing I know, my brothers and Dad are holding me down on the steps, and Oliver and their uncle are holding Colin back while he curses and struggles and spits. The white gravel is painted red like the day the Darlings vandalized our house, but this time, it’s blood. “Let me up,” I growl, shoving off the step and wrenching free of my family. I stalk toward Colin, who writhes like a cat getting a bath. I can feel blood trickling down my face, the jagged edges of a few broken teeth, and the throb of one eye that’s already swelling shut. But I don’t feel pain. The other thing that lives inside me has swallowed it, and I can’t feel a thing. “Come on,” Colin yells, dancing in the grip of his brother. “Let’s do it again. I can go all night. Whoo! I feel alive!” I stop in front of him, ignoring my brothers, who have rushed up behind me to grab me if I lose my shit again. But I’m calm now. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” I say to Colin. My lip is broken and swollen so thick my words come out slurred. “If I find out you’re the one who sent those videos, you won’t be alive much longer.” I turn and walk inside. I don’t know why I care. I watched two guys fuck her. I gave them permission. I made sure to watch, so I knew I could never want her again, never think she was mine. I broke her on purpose, but piece by piece, I’m the one falling to pieces.
Harpers POV
“Are you Mr. D?” I demand, standing in the Phantom’s bedroom, my whole body quaking. I hold the tag in between my finger and thumb, waving it at him. He just walked out of the shower, his body all steamy, a towel around his hips, mask over his face. He shrugs. “What about it?” Anger seethes through me. “That’s how you knew where I was that night. Isn’t it?” He opens his dresser and pulls out his underwear. I know where he keeps them. I know where everything in his apartment is. But I didn’t know his name, have never seen his face. I come when he calls, practically live here two days a week, like a goddamn whore. He promised he’d fuck me one day, and now he has. I don’t know why it matters suddenly. I never cared before. He nods vaguely toward the windows. “I keep an eye on things.” “On me,” I say, sinking onto the edge of the bed. “You keep an eye on me.” “I told you, I can be anyone you want me to be,” he says with a haughty little smirk. “As long as you’re you, Miss A.” “As long as I’m August’s fuck toy,” I correct him. “That’s why you take those pictures, isn’t it? To send to him and show him what you’ve done to me.” “What I’ve done to you?” he asks, turning to face me after pulling on a pair of sweats. They hang low on his narrow hips. Above them, the ridges of his abs are carved deep and sharp. His body is a finely chiseled sculpture. I’ve never noticed, but he’s beautiful, even without a face. “What about what he did?” He paces forward, stalking, his voice laced with fury that makes me shrink back on the bed, as if he could hurt me more than I’ve been hurt. As if he could take something from me that he hasn’t been taking all along. “You changed me,” I whisper. “I saved you.” I stare up at him, feeling guilty for feeling anything but gratitude. He works out, takes care of himself, wears exquisite clothes to work at his standing desk with three monitors, an ergonomic keyboard, and a fancy Mac computer. I’m the one who should be ashamed. I don’t take care of myself until he tells me to. He tells me to shower, puts me in fancy clothes, makes me look like a girl who could be, in some fairytale in his mind, deserving of him. And he treats me like I am.
 He cooks me fancy dinners and buys me everything I need or could want without me having to ask. He even took care of my mother. I don’t treat him half as well. I don’t cook or offer to help clean up. I don’t even talk to him when I come over. While he cooks, I sit curled on his fine leather sofa, sipping his fine wine. The only thing I do for him in return for everything he’s done is spread my legs. If he’s made me a whore, I’ve let him do it. The first day he bought me something, the phone, I could have said no. But I didn’t. I let him dress me up like a doll, treat me like property, and fuck me like a whore. If anything, he’s shown me he values me more than I value myself. He bought me fucking diamonds. A girl like me, I have no right to even hope for this kind of man, this kind of treatment. I’m lucky to be his whore. But for the first time in months, I want to speak, to voice my desires. “You’re right,” I say. “You’ve treated me well. But I’m done being your whore.” “You’re not—” He breaks off, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. That’s not how I see you, Harper.” “How do you see me?” He stares at me a long moment. “I just wanted to take care of you,” he says at last. “I saw what they did to you. You’re not the only person…” He shakes his head again. “And yeah, I wanted to fuck you to piss off August. I’ll admit that. But I never saw you as a whore. I only gave you what you needed.” “Like these?” I ask, upturning the jeweler’s bag. The box falls out, the lid askew, one of the diamonds dangling out the side like something obscene. “Fair enough,” he says, moving across the room and sitting heavily on the bottom of the bed. “Maybe I had selfish reasons. But I never thought you owed me.
 I know you won’t believe me. I know what I look like. You think I can’t get laid unless I buy a girl diamonds. And you’re right.” “What about your girlfriend?” I ask, my voice thick. He scoffs. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Look at me.” “So you dressed me up and pretended you did,” I say, feeling like some weird blow-up doll. I’ve acted like one. I haven’t been a whole person since before the swamp. I’ve been a doll, broken into a million pieces, and he’s pieced some of them back together—at least on the outside. But he can’t fix me inside. He can reach in, but he won’t find anything to piece back together. I’m hollow. “I never pretended to be a good guy,” he says. “Don’t act shocked that I’m exactly who I was all along.” “But you never told me who you were,” I point out. “You never asked.” “I did.” We sat side by side for a while, neither of us speaking. “You don’t want to know who I am,” he says. “Look at me. Look at what I’ve become.” I could say the same thing. 
 When I tell Mr. D I’m not coming back, he doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t get ready to take me home as usual. I ask if he’s taking me home, and he says no, but he doesn’t stop me when I take his keys. I keep waiting for him to come after me, but he just studies me, his face behind that infuriating blank mask, his one good eye watching me leave. In the garage, I climb into his truck. I’m sure he’s going to come down and stop me. My hands are shaking so hard I can barely get the key in. I open the garage on the bottom level of his building, and I drive out. I keep checking the rearview, sure I’ll see him coming after me. But he lets me go. Some sick part of me deflates when I turn into my driveway and he’s not there. Not even Mr. D thinks I’m worth hunting down. I climb out of the truck and go inside. Nothing has changed. But everything has. Without the Tuesday and Thursday excursions, I stop leaving the house. I ignore the staff that comes in and cleans my house on a weekly basis. I don't care where they came from or who hired them.
 There’s no point. I Don't even return his truck. It sits like an oversized monster in our driveway, drawing attention from anyone and everyone. I hide the keys inside a tear in my box spring, I sleep with a switchblade in one hand for the nightmares that plague my every waking moment, as if my fall from grace has given them permission to terrorize me, maybe they can smell my brokenness, my weakness, the way I can smell alcohol on Duke’s breath. And even though I was sure I felt nothing all those months, now that I don’t see the Phantom, there’s an ache left inside me that he once soothed. 
When I wake myself up croaking feebly, from a dream where I’m gagged, silenced as I try to force sound from my strangled throat, there are only blankets to wrap around me instead of his strong, salient arms. I stop leaving the house, stop doing anything. I can’t remember why it mattered to be clean, to eat, to live. One evening, as I’m lying corpse like in my bed, a tap sounds at my grimy window. I’m so startled I sit up before my brain can kick in and say what it says about everything—it’s not worth it. It doesn’t matter. Turning my head I see a crow pecking at the shiny part of my window. Standing up and making my way into the bathroom, I turn on the lights avoiding the mirror. I don't want to look at the girl in the mirror. I just can't.Turning on the hot water in the sink letting it fog up my mirror, I scoop the water with my hands and splash it on my face.
  I know I should care but I can't summon the energy. My sponsor is gone. There’s no way out. I’ve given up, accepted the fact that I’ll be just like my dead beat mother. Turning off the water and raising my head, reluctantly I look back at my reflection, I meet my soulless eyes and stare. I should want to rage against this weak girl that I've become, to become the monster those boys wanted me to be.. Turning off the lights and walking back to my room. Dropping back down into bed, I looked out the grimy window and let out a deep sigh, I can't stay like this broken doll. But I just don't care anymore..
A while  later, lying in my bed, I think maybe it’s time I did.
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wodnes--coyotl · 1 month
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time to head back to texas this weekend, dad will be stabilized until we can get there and discuss hospice plans and then he will probably have less than two weeks to live. its weird. his car will be there. his house will be there. his ex-wife from decades ago (he is 73) who was with him from highschool and their daughter will be there. maybe ill meet my aunt again. everyone will be transphobic and fucked up and weird. ill just be there... in texas... where most of my family is dead. my aunt (moms side) messaged me a bunch of shit bc i asked her some questions via email and of course finally dropped the transphobic bomb. but aside from her and my semi estranged half sibligns on both sides thhats it.
im relieved bc dads been doing this for ten years, dangling his health over my head and not taking account for it. but also, its sad. i cant imagine a world without him, even though in many ways, he wasnt around to begin with, and in other ways saved me from my mother... and in other ways enabled her... its so complicated. i have grown to really hate my father, but still deeply love him.
this is so fucked. it all happened so fast. diagnosed, 6 months later, boom.
and its always february.
life always fucks me in february.
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