#i wasnt able to play the game myself

[eveh-koko]

KH Doodles

#recently bought 1.5+2.5 so finally am #able to play some of the games for myself #literally only have played kh mom cuz #i wasnt introduced to kh until a little before kh3 #kingdom hearts #kh #kh sora #kh riku #kh kairi #kh roxas #kh xion #kh axel #kh ventus #kh aqua #kh terra #kh vanitas #kh namine #kh xemnas #evehs art

[nabaath-areng]

I was planning to build new desktop this fall, but seeing that the winter half year practically chains me to bed making me incapable of sitting up I took some of my savings to get a laptop so I can have it in bed for drawing, writing etc at least. And so I'll save back up the coming months and build it once spring arrives instead (hopefully component prices has gone down then too)

All that to say I can only eat my hands as I catch glimpses of dawntrail news after having been ffxiv-less since july last year. my abstinence is out the roof

#that being said i am admittedly a little bit nervous about returning now that its been so long #i played without break from 2014 til 2020 and then its been on an off between 2020 and 2022 #and then since then i havent had the means to play #like on one hand i dont dare looking too much into ffxiv happenings cause my abstinence grows worse #and on the other i worry that ill feel weird coming back #because returning from past breaks have felt weird #which admittedly might be because i dont allow myself to take my time and enjoy things but rather rush to catch up #but whenever i can play im just gonna take all effort possible to not rush and potentially even do things on my own #rather than feel stressed by not slowing down others #im glad for the increased single player options tbh #at the same time the break has done me good cause i feel like im further away from making those mistakes #and having a lot to catch up with before being up to date might be good for me #finding hobbies outside ffxiv has done me good too #my relationship to it wasnt the healthiest as it was my sole lifeline during horrific and traumatic years #but now ive been able to play tons of other games again and read books and draw more and write more than ever #and done more irl things again even finishing one type of education #so honestly? i think itll be fine #i dont have to feel bad over my relationship with the game evolving into a different form #i still love it immensely and its had a profound impact on my life as a whole #both in terms of friends and creativity and also significant other #anyway that got longer and rantier and more personal than i first intended #peace signs and sparkles

[sonego]

it's not even an exaggeration to say that sometimes in the past year i've had moments when i started feeling nauseous and lowkey suicidal while watching sports bc i kept thinking many of these ppl are my age and younger and they're so healthy in shape and strong and i'm. me

#specifically abled ppl's sports #bc it was a different feeling when i havw watched disabled ppl play sports #which admittedly wasnt a lot of times #but like it was 2 or 3 #and one time when i was in a lot of pain (constantly) and was so lost and could barwly get thru the days #i put on some old paralympic games and it was so overwhelming #i felt like i couldn't even sit without beimg in pain i couldn't do the smallest.tjings #and i saw ppl who are disabled and could win medals and felt kinda.. idk. #maybe i should've felt hopeful but instead i felt like i was so useless and hopeless #idk how to describe that #either way. have had a rough year and rn it's hard to tell myself i can get thru the last bit of it

[love-fireflysong]

Well this is super upsetting. Just last night my ps4 decided to black screen of death me and it turns out that the issue is a hard drive problem and that needs to be replaced. Which isn't the issue, cause due to the fact that I had replaced my laptops hard drive last summer I hilariously enough have a spare 1tb hard drive laying around! And that's something super easy to fix.

No, my problem is that replacing my hard drive means that all my saved game data has just gone *poof*. And while checking my saved data on my roomies ps4 pretty much nothing was saved to the cloud so I can't even recover it... And because I'm having a bsod issue I can't even back up all that save data either 😭

#Im gonna lose so much shit again 😭 #This is like my ps3 debacle from like ten years ago but worse #Cause that one was replacing the entire motherboard cause my hdmi and bluetooth werent working anymore #So i was at least able to finish any games i was playing at the time before sending it in #I just lost some trophy data cause due to bluetooth issues i couldnt connect to wifi so my psn account wasnt logged in #And with this one im keeping my trophy data but losing all my saved game shit #Which i would regretfully accept if it wasny for the fact that im losing all mu crash 4 progress now #Like i spent *months* getting those n.sanity relics #Hell it took me the last 3 months alone to finally beat crash landed cause i kept psyching myself out and making stupid mistakes! #I had 31/38 n.sanity relics and that alone makes me wanna cry 😭 #I dont wanna replay the entire game when i was so close to the end and that sweet sweet platinum trophy 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[1980ssunflower]

So happy and excited to spend another year with my wonderful husbands 🥺💖💙

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #tape entry circa 1980 #to be by their side is the only thing i ever really need #as long as i have them and their love i can get through anything!! #i love them!!! i love them more than life itself! they own my whole heart soul and mind #i will be theirs and they will be mine till the end of time and even after #im just so happy to have them and love them... #genuinely i cant ever truly put into words how happy and grateful i am to the universe to have been able to find my soulmates... #i honestly wouldnt be who i am rn and as happy w myself rn if it wasnt for them #they really did so much for me and ill always love them for that and everything else they do for me #mis amores mis bebes... all i want is to be able to show them how much i love them and to do things for them too... #going to sleep and think abt playing music w them on tour #and just long roadtrips to nowhere while singing w the radio blasting out our favorite tunes #siighh... i want to hold them both... and kiss them... #cuddled up on the couch watching horror movies we rented at the video store and going to play games at the arcade #late night snack runs and stargazing after getting way too sucked into our jam session hfjdk #aaa i love them... so so much...

[woolydemon]

the way my nitw obsessed teen self obsessively edited nitw wiki pages to the point that u can see I'm one of the top contributors for several pages even still to this day

#YOU PPL NEED TO UNDERSTAND. I WAS OBSESSED WITH THIS GAME #ONE OF MY FAV THINGS EVER AND STILL IS KADVFLJF #i didnt own the game bc i wasnt rlly allowed to buy games online & didnt have software for it #(i still dont. but hypothetically i could play nitw on my laptop now ig. i played longest night & lost constellation on my first laptop) #so instead i would watch. Every nitw video ever. like all the walkthroughs #to see as much dialogue options as i could without being able to do it myself #i did the same thing with undertale btw #and i absorbed that information. its in a database in my brain somewhere #i often dont remember what's info ppl would know that isnt 1) a spoiler or 2) too obscure for someone whos just casually playing through it #i used this info to edit/write nitw wiki articles #a lot of the stuff i did there remains bc i was one of the few that bothered to add a lot of the smaller details on there #though i did come back one time to heavily edit it bc i was just a kid typing up run on sentences on my kindle fire #idk i dont think i ever stopped doing this bc i ended up singlehandedly writing shelldon rottmnt's article on turtlepedia #actually more than just his article i did the whole page. bc nobody else was bothering to do it #of course its been edited by other ppl by now but i laid out the groundwork #so yeah. i have always been a little freak that obsessively absorbs info and types essays about it on the internet #rando thoughtz

[traaanskimkitsuragi]

handy dandy visual guide of what the game looks like for me when the camera moves

#not even an exaggeration #not included: the frames where my eyes just cut their feed to my brain #well more accurately its not that i cant see the thing moving its more that #in addition to being blurry as fuck #oh man how do i describe this. its like uh #like i see the movement but my brain doesnt recognise it?? i guess???? #like it just doesnt process it/react to it at all #this has never been an issue in games for me i didnt even know it wasnt normal until i played this #and i realised most people werent having the same issue i was #and the reason i think is that ive never played skill based 2d pixelart games before #like in hollow knight in hindsight there were def sections where this fucked me over BUT #it was much less of an issue because the game is like. hand drawn and not pixel art #and also being able to pogo hazards means i can compensate for the speed/blur when i fall #which is like. genuinely amazing in regards to how much it helps #but celeste doesnt have that so im just left to fend for myself #just. why does the camera need to move so much. why would you design your game this way #i realise this is a me issue not the game issue but leave me alone ok im so upset #i cant rationalize my feelings abt it rn bc it delivered such a strong blow to my self esteem

[medicasino]

vent below so dont feel like you have to read this 👍i simply have no where else to put this bc i dont want to Bother My Friends

god i wish i could just kill myself but i like. cant. there's too much stopping me. but i dont want to do anything anymore. i dont want to deal with this constant misery of being trapped in a brain with a death wish hellbent on making me want to die horrifically. i wish people just hated me outright so i had a good excuse to just call it quits on life and die

#affie txt #vent #suicide tw #suicidal ideation tw #suicide cw #suicidal ideation cw #i like playing games but literally everything besides that just feels pointless. i want to draw but like. its miserable. #even creating stories is stressful now because nothing i can come up with is even the slightest bit original #its all just utter garbage. i want to give up. i dont want to deal with this shit #please god just hate me already. i wish everyone just wanted me to die #so i could. so i could just lay down and never get up. i hate working i hate having to take care of myself i hate doing anything #i hate living in this house i hate the way ive become! i wish i wasnt so demotivated and lazy! i miss being able to DO THINGS! #but at this point im 17 and still an absolute fucking failure who just lives to disappoint . i want to kill myself but i cant #i dont know why people even care about me. because im really a terrible friend #every time i read past conversations ive had with people i want to die because im just so unlikeable i DONT GET why people stick around #im not mad at anyone but myself here. i just wish i was better. and not a total waste of space. #i want to die! i want to die! i want to die!!! #ugh its like i feel these things but also i feel nothing. like im empty. this is all my genuine thoughts and im losing it but also i feel s #disconnected from all of this #i feel so much yet so little. lol im truly just fucked up huh #whatever #im really sorry to be a bother #i really am i just have nowhere to go #and i dont want to bother my friends ig #repetition cw #repetition #repetition tw

[starswallowingsea]

grinding out the 5* for two events in a row was a mistake

#technically its 4 events in a row but since one of them was a tour event #aka next door #it wasnt that bad i was able to get it without having to obsess over points #but u consider i got madara's double face card. shu's neverland card. #and i'm like 700k points from niki's hot limit card #im going to get it im too far to give up now #but i think. im gonna just not touch the game between when i get it and the next event which thank god #is a tour event #i can get yuzuru's 5* without too much effort #and i am not planning on grinding out for another event for a while #give myself a break so i dont suffer too much burnout #im already feeling it im gonna just. not play it during the intermission period #i might log in to claim the scout ticket from the society store but thats it #shay speaks

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Hi,

I see you finished Monster and are quite versed in Johan. Can you help me understand the depth of his character better? I feel like many people miss the point of it. Also I'd like to know why you like him so much.

Oh, there is so much to say about him but i will try to make it short as possible.

Lets Talk About Johan;

First of all, i heard his character as some 'evil' mastermind so i wasnt really interested in his character until i experience the story by myself. I wondered why this series is popular so i decided to give a chance. I tought Johan was like Afo (from Bnha) but he turn out to be a lot like Shigaraki lol.

What makes a character depth is if they are not one-dimensional, that there is a more than how they seem from surface. And Johan fits well since he is mysterious character who is seen as angel, monster, devil, basically anything but human but they end up failing to understand him because if he was so simple, police would've catch him a long time ago.

At the start of series, he seems like your usual dangerous serial killer which fits the psychological thriller theme of story. And one of the best thing in series is his connection with Tenma. A doctor saves his life and this dangerous killer starts to view him as parent figure. A killer who see no worth in life and the doctor who thinks every life is equal, especially saving Johan is the reason he starts to to be able to live his life as a real doctor. Only to learn the child whom he saved turn out to be serial killer.

Tenma feels responsible for this and goes to journey to kill Johan. During this journey, we aldo discover some hints of what made Johan the way he is. The irony is we get the hints and a lot of characters perspective of him, everyone except Johan.

Is his messages about 'the monster inside of him' serious or not? Tenma assumes Johan is enjoying this at first, then he assumes Johan has multiple personality disorder. And later when he talked with other doctor, he assumes Johan is just playing with him because thats what most serial killers do with police. This is interesting because all of those end up being wrong. Johan doesnt enjoy from killing people. Johan doesnt have DID. Johan didnt write those messages to play with them. We know this because we later learn that he is unconciously imitate the fairytale stories he read as child.

Meanwhile, he has fanclub. A lot of murderers admire Johan because they view him as destruction Buddha. Just like others, he is seen as monster but why though? Its not like he is the only killer in the world. And personally, a lot of characters are more 'evil' than him so the thing about Johan is; he treats human life as nothing. Not just other people but also himself. Thats what makes him so scary to everyone. He doesnt even do it out of joy, money, statue. He looks like the devil in human form. He spreads misery to world. (Thats why he burns library when they said "its humanity's treasure" LoL.)

To people, that is scary. When they look at Johan, his eyes, the see someone who has no identity (nameless world). They see someone who treats life like as a game. Which explains why many people are afraid of him.

Some also want to use him, such as they want him to make second Hitler and he is like 'Nope'.

I think the main reason i love Johan is that he is like a magician. He can create a beautifull illusion. He is someone who can touch people's hearths because how well he understands them. Which is why he is seen as angel when people dont know he kills people.

This is also why he can use other killers for himself. He can see their vulnerabilities. Because even a killer is still human and they might need acceptance, to be understood by someone. Johan can give it to them. And they wish they were like Johan because they think everything would be a lot easier for them to kill others, like some kind of edgy teens. They fail to understand the person they want to be is extremely miserable.

On other hand, Johan can use his skills with curing people. Such as him waking Suk's mother, he made her remember her son again. Though he does things with ulterior motives, same skills can be used for good things. He can make people happy or miserable by little things. With a little magic or just skill.

And even though he is villain, he has very relaxing voice. He is very elegant. He listens other people. This fits perfectly well with his manipulative character.

We also never know when he is sincere or not because when you think he doesnt he actually seem to care, such as when he cried for Karl. Apperantly, tears were real. He is always in his world, its so funny when you think about he is some kind of mastermind.

Also his interaction with kids is so interesting. I think he geniuely enjoys being around them. Otherwise, why would he bother to spend time with them, why would he know so much about child's rights, why would he look for picture book for a friend? This is the same guy who encourage kids to rooftop game (and the scene where he was projecting on Milos) which is messed up. It gives me chills. His nihisilism, him viewing life as game end up resulting him expressing love as twisted.

----

Later, everything changes when Johan finds certain book in library. Basically, Johan's character doesnt necessarely stay same during the series. He changes his motives from unconciously imitating nameless monster stories to find actual monster who ruined his life. Even though he does messed up things, everything about his character makes sense with that scene. Johan geniuely believed that he is nameless monster. Johan geniuely believed that he doesnt exist.

Everything about him makes sense because it explains why he doesnt think death as much of it. Because if someone doesnt exist, they cant be killed. If someone doesnt exist, they cant be responsible for killings. He is detached from reality. Its not that he didnt feel. Its that he doesnt view it as real the way other people does. Because Johan isnt there. This is the tragedy of Johan's story. He doesnt have name. He doesnt have identity. He feels as he doesnt exist.

The famous 'monster' tape everyone after is about a child unable to see the difference between fairytale story and reality. 'My name is Johan. My name is Thomas. My name is Hans. My name is Otto.' He is them but he is neither of them. Johan views Anna as his half, as Anna is the real one and he is fake copy. He killed people as child, not because he is evil but because he geniuely thought that monster is coming after them. He cant even separate his own memories from Anna's. He takes all bad memories both to protect Anna and other reason is to become someone. He wanted to have identity, he wanted to live so bad but he didnt have on his own so he took it from others, just like the nameless monster.

This is also why Johan is also affected by Tenma's saving him. He probably wondered Tenma wouldnt save him, if he knew he was monster. He was kinda right because Tenma regretted his decision but he was wrong because Tenma couldnt shoot him and he saved him the second time. He showed him that he has right to live, he has right to exist, and that he has a name so he is not monster. This is why Johan can open up his worst insecurities. And they really give father-son energy and i think thats cute. I am glad that even after years Tenma visists him at hospital.

And we can guess what happened at the end thanks to Grimmer (one of the characters who deserves better), 'The monster become human at the end'. and Lunge said that if he were not a human being, he would not leave a trace, only humans leave a trace. For the first time we see Johan leave his mark. So Johan is no longer a monster, just a human. Also, his real name doesnt matter, he is Johan to us/all.

I love the messages of story. There is a monster inside all of us, but we can contain/heal it and after all, we are all human, our lives are equally valuable and stealing a person's name is the biggest crime, so having a name is very important. Story still has certain writing issues but generally, it is good story. Johan is well written character because his story is such a journey. We cant even really appreaciate the story without fully understand Johan. Every scene he is in meaningfull. And personally, i think his story is very empathic because of how tragic he is. Also sometimes he looks so funny and weird which makes him entertaining. He is such a good character.

Though you are right, anon. Many people still misinterpret the story, especially his character but anyway, there are still people who makes great analysis about him. Such as this analysis made by @cyanogoth.

Its ironic that most/some main villains have the most interesting and sempathic backstories, even though they are supposed to be 'big evil' or something but in reality, they are not really.

Anyway, he is fun to think about, i love him, lol.

#anon ask #johan liebert #tenma kenzo #tragic villain #naoki urasawa's monster meta #monster meta #monster #monster analysis #character study #character analysis #monster naoki urasawa #naoki urasawa #naoki urasawa's monster

[xaeydnquartz]

Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent

So, brief expo. like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns) During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well. As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.

After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)

Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).

Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.

-Fast Forward to current date and time-

It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier) Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness. Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present. i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard

I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to. Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back. Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.

Thanks for listening tumblr.

#D&D #Dungeons and Dragons #venting #vent post #its just a game it really isnt a big deal #feels pretty lonely though #not what i was hoping for

[ceasarslegion]

Does the GTA definitive trilogy still have the cheat codes you used to be able to enter by pressing a bunch of buttons in a specific order

Ive been wanting to get into that series because anything that has that much politicized controversy attached to it i want to see for myself and i only really played them sparingly as a kid. Not because my parents were weird about it but because i just wasnt into that kind of game back then

#gta

[thewertsearch]

That's a great expression. Initially, it looked to be one of disdain...

...but despite his attitude towards Rose, Eridan genuinely likes magic. I think he's just focusing really hard on channeling the wizardly powers he's been dreaming about since childhood.

The dude categorically sucks, but I'm willing to let him have this. It's his one non-shitty hobby, and any time he's spending casting spells is time he's not spending being troll racist.

TT: Will I be blinded by the fearsome lashes of light ribboning from the incandescent coastline of his beauteous aura? TT: Should I borrow my friend's sunglasses? GA: Yes Definitely GA: Definitely Do That GA: Wait I Hope That Wasnt Too Emphatic GA: Maybe At This Point I Should Clarify This Is All A Big Joke

And it was good! Kanaya may be confused by sarcasm, but her progress through the upper echelons of Dave-tier irony is impressive indeed.

TT: Yeah. TT: I was getting that. TT: You don't always have to tip your hand, Kanaya. You were doing well.

Granted, she has an excellent tutor.

GA: I Did In Fact "Train" This Character GA: I Made Him A Wand To Shut Him Up [...]

Well, at least it's not being enhanced by the Horrorterrors this time. Really, this wand is probably a downgrade from Eridan's endgame rifle.

TT: Do keep me apprised of all further developments. GA: Okay I Will TT: At least until my looming grimdarkdeath steals me away.

I can't tell how worried Rose actually is about the blackout. There's a touch of her brother's façade about her at the moment, which is probably how she's able to stay this calm - but that can't last forever.

Tavros is Jade's admirer?

Granted, he doesn't have many options. The trolls are a tangled web of drama, John is infamously straight, and the Derse kids would eat him alive.

GG: i remember you, you talked to me a lot in my dreams AT: yEAH, bUT NOW i'M TALKING TO YOU BEING AWAKE, AT: bECAUSE, AT: yOUR ROBOT CAN'T TYPE, [...] GG: thats because my dream self died [...] AT: aW, nO, i'M DEFINITELY PRETTY SORRY TO HEAR THAT, GG: thanks, but i think im ok GG: i felt pretty shaken up at first though AT: yES, i DID TOO, AT: i SPENT SO LONG SLEEPING AND DREAMING AND PLAYING ON PROSPIT, AT: tHAT BEING AWAKE WAS MADE TO FEEL WEIRD, aND i DIDN'T LIKE IT FOR A WHILE, GG: yeah i have done a lot of sleeping myself :)

I think Jade can relate more closely than she's admitting.

After all, there's a reason she spent so much time on Prospit before the game started. It was that or the empty mansion full of corpses.

#full liveblog #homestuck liveblog #act 5.2 #3047 #s93

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her reader

Reid x Youtuber/Streamer Girlfriend

- Spencer Reid has a somewhat boomer knowledge of social media platforms, he doesnt really understand them, but he knows from his job that they cause a lot of problems, so generally he steered clear of them in his personal life

- that was, until he met you

- the two of you very quickly became good friends soon after you joined the team, and it wasnt long before you both realised that the connection you had was not one between friends

- you went on a date, and things have only gone up from there

- during a conversation Spencer remembers very well, you casually mentioned your side-job as a youtuber and twitch streamer

- Spencer didnt even know what twitch was, and assumed you meant you live streamed yourself twitching and got paid for it

- you slowly introduced him to the world of youtube and livestreaming, and he was fascinated

- at first, he would sit out of frame while you streamed, just listening to you commentate over various video games you played and observing the way you communicated with the people in the stream chat as if they were your friends

- by no means did you earn a lot through this hobby, but it was something you enjoyed, and Spencer would support any harmless hobby that brought you so much joy

- but then he discovered it wasnt harmless

- you had been very fortunate to have Spencer sit in on streams in which you received very little abuse in chat, and because he wasnt reading the chat you could simply ignore any hateful messages there and he would be none the wiser

- however, on the first stream that he decided to join, things were a little different

- Spencer was sitting beside you, the two of you playing a multiplayer video game, both of you visible to the thousands of people watching

- and he, being the genius capable of doing a million things at once, was able to glance into the chat and read what people were saying as he played, curious to any tips or tricks they may lend him to help him be a better player in the game

- what he saw was anything but helpful

“jesus christ, how the fuck did she manage to trick him to date her”

“this guy makes her look even worse than she already does”

“he could do SO much better”

“I’d rather kill myself than be seen anywhere with her”

“maybe (Y/N) should be the one killing herself since she clearly doesnt deserve him”

“yeah haha u right u right”

- those messages were among more pleasant ones, but Spencer couldnt see those

- in fact, he couldnt even see the game anymore because he was staring at the chat log, and as a result his character died

“Spence? Everything alright?”

“How often do you see messages like that directed at you?”

- you knew what he was referring to without having to look in chat, you had really hoped you could hide the negative side of streaming for just a little longer

“Trust me, it’s alright. People behind a screen think they can be assholes without any comeuppance, and most of the time they’re right. Repercussions for them are minimal. Im lucky to get very few negative messages on my streams, Im used to that and I can cope.”

- Spencer shook his head, he was not happy with this

“You shouldnt have to get used to something like this.”

- with that, he stood up and grabbed his phone, the fans in your stream confused as to what was going on

- “Spencer, what are you-“

“Hey, Garcia, can you do me a favour? The scum of the internet are in (Y/N)’s stream chat, could you- oh, you already see them? Great. Yeah, I know, they’re disgusting.”

he walked back over to you and leaned over to look at your computer, scrolling back through chat to find the usernames.

“Scroll back to where user jnjmemes sent a crying laughing emoticon, you see the string of messages after that? Could you send every single one of those users a nasty virus? Thanks Garcia!”

- your jaw was hanging open, you stared at Spencer with wide eyes, completely lost for words while your fans in the chat were screaming over Spencer’s protectiveness of you

“Oh, one last thing Garcia, is it possible to set up a programme that automatically sends a virus to anyone who leaves a message of a similar nature? Of course you can do that, I should’ve known, thanks again!”

- he hung up and sat back down beside you

“There’s a lesson for all of you in this: dont say hurtful things to people online. But there’s a lesson even more important than that, which I hope you’ve all paid attention to.”

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Dont fuck with a woman in the FBI.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #imagines #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #criminal minds #headcannon

[autistichalsin]

This is a bit of a ramble and not really an ask but it was on the brain and i had to get it out, please forgive.

With everyone of your posts i read about Halsin i have come to realize why i like the man so much.

That motherf*****r is me!

Just instead of a 6'4" Polyam Pansexual druid bear, I am a 5'0" nonbinary aroace cryptid with DD's.

Evidence:

He was put in a leadership position he shouldnt have that ultimately isolated him. I was shoved into the "strong friend" role that ultimatrly did the same.

Went through a heavily traumatic life event then shoved into a ****ton of resposibility imedietly after. The dearh of my mom was thr same and shoved me into a caretaker role i wasnt prepared for.

Used unhealthy coping mechanisms until he figured out a healthier way to go about things. Used Cannibus, "Projects to be Prpductive and not lazy", and to be honest, became obsessed with playing video games to a point where when i started to work on myself, trying to play a video game, even one i had played before, gave me Anxiety.

Ultimately being able to finally listen to oneself and accept there are things he just wasnt suited for and made changes accordingly. Me, the last year and a half.

Add on to the fact that he is Autistic coded, which is something i only got recently diagnosed with and I am still figuring out, it is nuts how similar we are.

I have never had a character i have related to this much in media before and I never thought it would be this comforting to know that someone like Halsin exists, even if only in fiction.

Through him I have come to better understsnd how important representation is in media, even if that representation is seeing someone else who has gone through similar life events to you and came out the other side still warm and kind, unlike how media often portrays them as bitter and angry.

It helps me realize that despite what i have been through I can still choose to be kind and caring, even if I am a little more wary about who i give it too and for how long.

I want to give whoever wrote that man into existence a big hug and thank them for giving me someone to aspire to.

I hereby declare a Paladin's Oath of Devotion to Halsin Silverbough!

And hope that anybody who reads this, finds someone that represents them just as much as he did me.

HUGS!

I feel you- I have noticed some VERY common traits among other Halsin fans. One of those is that a lot of us tend to have traumas of various kinds, and have struggled a bit with cynicism and/or staying kind to others.

The thing about kindness is that it's a choice. You choose to be kind, and you don't always succeed. (Be really wary around anyone who claims to be unfailingly kind.) But you do try, even when a lot of others show no real interest in that. Just like Halsin, particularly in act 3. It's something a lot of us relate to, I think, that struggle of being kind in the face of trauma.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[hellspawnmotel]

have you tried playing ffix? i genuinely think you'd like that better over ffvi (understandable if you don't want to play other ff titles tho!)

uhhh yeah I played it for a bit a while back! I ended up putting it down bc I got frustrated that dagger didnt know anything useful apart from summons that she didnt have enough mp for anyway. felt like I was carrying around dead weight for four hours, one of those things I wouldve been able to deal with if she wasnt the only girl at that point, lol. (I know you acquire other girls, I'm fairly certain I was even close to getting one, it was more of an issue with the game design than anything.) I do wanna go back to it at some point, it's a really impressive game and I know it's got that good FF worldbuilding and character development waiting for me.

all that said, I've actually revisited ffvi a little since I made my judgement on it, and I think I was too harsh. I mean, I was only 18, I hadn't familiarized myself with the genre nearly as much, and my main comparison point was chrono trigger, any other jrpg is gonna look mediocre in comparison to that. I still have my issues with the writing, but it's not nearly as bad as I made it out to be. like I still think edgar is a skeez, locke is annoying, and terra's character development is kinda all over the map, but there's so much good there too and I just didnt give it much of a chance. it's an amazing game for its time, upon giving it a second look I was really really impressed by how much life the world has and how many things you can do, as well as some genuinely clever visual gags. it stumbles in areas that I personally value, but I can appreciate why it's considered one of the best. I definitely want to try playing it again someday (with a walkthrough handy this time- I'm experienced enough now to know that old jrpgs tend to just not tell you critical things in the game itself. product of the age I guess).

(also, ffvi didn't totally sour my opinion of the whole series- I played ffvii and loved it!)

#asks