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#i was writing it and there wasnt much a character could offer for words so i figured they would offer hug instead
ginger4sugar · 9 months
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☆彡𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐊 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐏. 𝟑ミ★
ᵖᵃʳᵗ ᵗʷᵒ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ!!
Characters Included — Onyankopon x Reader, Ymir, Connie, Eren, Jean, Hange, and annie are mentioned!!
Gingers Notes — Idk why this took me so long to write and it’s still not good, i think i’m having a writing burn out, yikes— but this isn’t proofread, pt.4 y’all knwo the drama is happening. Don’t get too comfortable!!
Content Warning — Smut, Oral, Smoking, Drinking, Ymir being hot, cursing i think, Y/n might have a lil drinking problem on mistake — lmk if i missed anythingggg
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House parties even in college still didn’t interest you, sure you showed up, drunk a little bit, talked your shit, danced— but then you were leaving.
But Ymir promised it wasnt gonna be a big thing, and she even offered to drive the way there and back so you could get as drunk as you wanted, it took a lot more than that to convince you, but eventually you said yes. And to your luck, Skylar said she’ll go if you went as well. So that made two people you knew at this so called small gathering.
But it was far from small, you noticed that when you three pulled up. Glaring at Ymir immediately, “Take me back home. You lied—” You said before turning to glare at Sunny in the backseat too “You lied too!”
“I didn’t lie— i said, i heard it was gonna be small. I didn’t say i know—”
“I’m not going in.” You said crossing your arms over your chest as Ymir parked. Causing the two other girls to groan and sigh heavily. The bigger the party, the bigger the problems— The bigger the crowd, the bigger the chance you’ll run into Ony, and you were really not trying to have that on your soul right now. He was good for the one night and that’s what you wanted to leave it at. “Please Princess— it’ll be fun, you look too cute to sit at home, on a saturday too?” You rolled your eyes at Sunny’s words as you glanced in your lap.
You did look good— you wouldn’t want to waste an outfit.
You were contemplating it, until ymir hand rested and gently rubbed up your thigh, turning her attention to you “Cmon— one party won’t hurt, a few drinks in and you’ll be having fun like always hm?” You rolled your eyes again before huffing and taking your seatbelt off. “If anything goes wrong, we’re going home immediately, got it?” They both nodded their heads before all three of you were getting out.
You told yourself you wouldn’t drink too much. Cause either that meant you’ll end up strolling or bringing out stands from high school as soon as wipe me down plays— and you just didn’t want to feel the after effects of that in the morning on sunday.
As soon as you walked in, the fog of smoke and the smell of liquor was invading your senses causing you to scrunch up, and before you could even turn around and decide to go home, ymir hand was on the small of your back guiding you to the kitchen with Sunny in tow. “Be smart about your drinking—” Ymir said though she knew she didn’t have to say it, since it was common knowledge.
Since you didn’t smoke, you never knew the risk of being crossfaded, it also helped that you knew just about how much you could take before you were completely out of it— for tonight, one red solo cup would be enough you thought as you poured yourself some casamigos, Ymir standing close by, while sunny ventured off— as she does.
“Come on Connie nem said they upstairs.” Ymir said as you brought your cup to your lips, quirking a brow as the girl wrapped her arm around your waist guiding you through the house, Obviously this was a usual spot for her. “Who’s Connie nem?” You only got a laugh and a shrug from the other, “My friends.”
You didn’t know Ymir’s friends so you didn’t know what you expected. The only people that you knew were her sorority sisters, and her plugs. So when you got upstairs and walked into a room that looked like a open living space, With two arcade machines, a long couch with a few bean bag chairs , a flat screen Tv with two game systems, and a pool table all in a room clouded with smoke, you had a clue of what typa people you would be meeting.
Especially when they turned their attention to you and ymir as you both walked in, Ymir immediately saying something to break their stares from you.
“This my homegirl, she gon hang with us since she don’t really fuck with parties like that.”
They all seem to nod their hands as ymir took a seat in a beanbag chair and brought you to sit in her lap before introducing everyone, “That’s connie, he’s the only one in here right na that actually goes to school with us— christian and Ony aren’t here, they ass always running late.” You felt your stomach drop at not only one name that you recognized but two. Hopefully they wouldn’t show up at all.
“But that’s Hange, Jean, Eren— and annie.”
You nodded your head at the group as a greeting before taking another drink from your cup, before ymir was pinching at your side a silent signal for you to introduce yourself and not be rude, you sighed, “I’m Y/N.” You said letting your eyes look over the group again before looking at connie and squinting at him with a tilt of your head, “Actually I know you—”
“He’s a nupe,” Ymir tried to explain before you were cutting her off.
“Nah i went to high school with him i think— springer right?”
Connie laughed at that and nodded. Connie springer, aka that one kid that barely showed up to class but when he did, he was so far gone his eyes were bloodshot red. Small world.
“Hm, i kinda just thought you died or sum.”
You joked making the small group of friends laugh, giving you time to gather your thoughts on if you should just walk out now to avoid possible conflict or stay. As soon as you noticed a blunt being passed to ymir, the first option wasn’t seeming to bad, as you started to get up only for ymir to pull you back down into her lap. “Where you goin’?” She asked barely above a whisper into your ear.
You don’t smoke, and ymir knew that. “I don’t smoke, ymir.” The rest of the group was obviously shocked at that. It was a pretty common thing at this point in life.“Good thing they weren’t passing the spliff to you then huh?” You rolled your eyes, you pulling out your phone and texting sunny about where you were and surprisingly she texted back with a quick ‘omw’
When the door open though, you didn’t expect to see an annoyed Skylar plus Christian and Ony right behind her.
If you could, you would sink down into Ymir’s lap until you disappeared as the two Ques dapped up and greeted the small group. You took a long sip of your drink until the cup was empty finding that you needed the burning liquid more than ever in this moment. Thankfully they didn’t acknowledge you as if you weren’t there, Sunny even was added to the group’s rotation, leaving you as the only one not under the influence of the drug— but when the suggestion of truth or dare became the topic, you wished you did smoke.
Ymir could feel how tense you were— she didn’t know why though. You didn’t exactly tell her who you had slept with that night. But as her hands tried their best to relax you by rubbing your thigh— you felt ony eyes on you heavily.
Tonight was gonna be a long one.
You suggested switching the game up, and when everyone agreed. Everyone was holding up 10 fingers. Never had I ever. In your opinion, it was far more tame of a party game, so you were fine.
Five fingers down and it was your turn. Everyone eyes on you as you thought of something you haven’t done.
“Never have an ever— given head.”
The entire group had put a finger down, except you— which kept the attention on you even after your turn was over. “You’ve never gave neck?” Eren asked in pure confusion, being the one to ask the burning question that everyone was thinking. “Nah, —” “Because you never got the chance or?” Sunny added obviously intrigued at this question
“No it’s a personal choice of mine.”
“So you’ve— never given head, ever?” Ymir joined in, only for you to shake your head.
“But you got head?” Connie questioned and you nodded, Ony was quiet, smirking to himself as if he had a range of thoughts at the moment, making you shift a bit in ymir’s lap.
“This is never have i ever, Not no twenty one questions.”
“We’re just curious, you too pretty or sum?” Christian decided to ask with a smirk on his lips, his lip piercing quirking up in delight at the new information. “Very fucking pretty.” You said with a scoff
“Switching back to truth or dare, Would you give anyone in this room head?”
You wanted to make a comment about how you could choose truth or dare, but you think the safest is not even think about choosing dare. “Yeah.” You said simply only for Sunny to gasp. “Who?” She was not helping. You stood up Shaking your empty cup, “I’m gonna go fill my cup up, y’all too much for me.” Leaving the group to head downstairs to do exactly that. Refill your cup.
But when you were on the way to go back into the room, you stopped right outside the door just as Ony was walking out, keys in hand— obviously getting ready to leave. Until he saw you at least, now his keys were stuffed in his pocket.
And somehow after light banter you two were in the bathroom of the party. To make it worse, you were on your knees in front of the male. By choice. Your hand wrapped around his length, slowly trying to work yourself up into taking him in your mouth. The only motivation you had was the gruff groans of Ony’s voice.
Cause you didn’t know what you were doing, but he was helping.
Looking down at you as he put his hand on the back of your head, “Stick yo tongue out Princess.” And when you did he tapped his tip on your tongue a few times. The weight in your hand was one thing, but having it in your mouth was gonna be different.
You told yourself you wouldn’t be in a situation like this with Ony again, that it was a one time thing, but it wasn’t. Not when he was inching his dick down your throat making tears gather at your lash line. Your hands on the floor inbetween your legs as you let him fuck your face. “Too pretty to give head huh?” You whined around his length at his condescending tone. He just kept proving you wrong. Breaking all of your rules. One after the other. His hand guiding your heads movements. The sound of your gagging echoing off the walls. The corners of your mouth messy with spit, but you didn’t mind. Not when you looked up and the view of ony’s build towering over you. His tattoos littering along his skin. You didn’t mind when your mascara was running down your face down your cheeks.
And Ony didn’t mind either, not when he looked down and saw a pretty girl gagging on his dick looking right back up at him with watery blown out eyes, taking every thrust into her mouth like it was second nature. The otherwise composed and all together Aka now under him taking every inch like she was greedy. Everyone in that room had their eyes on you, and you probably didn’t notice, not when your eyes were on him. Waiting to see how he would react to your questions and dares, or which fingers he would put down.
You didn’t want a relationship especially with some frat boy, you thought you were on the same page, But when he was cumming down your throat and instructing you to swallow before wrapping his hand around your throat and pulling you up just a bit. You only then registered what he wanted.
“I think imma keep you around.”
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★𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓★
ᵃˢᵏ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵃᵈᵈᵉᵈ!!
@queenesther996 @jujuyii @smileyy-cakee @devin04 @luvliv4lifexoxo @katymae1244 @lovelytayy @sevikasblackgf @toji-dabi-wife @neitoscanongirlfriend @punkslugs @blackbeauties102 @Sylisan @parti3k
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vxiphoid · 11 months
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៚ BREAK ALL RULES !!⟢
❨ skateboarding with ruggie ❩ omg an actual fic😧😧!!! oh look its those two best friends that clearly have feelings for each other but wont admit it… KISS ALREADY. i need to start writing for more characters, i love savanaclaw too much😞 ooc ruggie (just to be sure), mentions of injuries, cursing, extremely bad explaining for skateboard tricks goodbye, not proof read, other than that tooth rotting fluff<3
⌜ 1k+ words⌟
♫ take me to the sun - d4vd & who - 웨터 (wetter)
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“OH FUCK—“
“ruggie!? ruggie, are you okay?!” the camera immediately dropped as you slid down the ramp to assist your friend, landing in this crooked position with both of you somehow in the frame. ruggie was curled up on the pavement when you knelt down beside him, worry splashed on your face. it wasn't until you were kneeling by him did the faux hurt disappear from his face.
“i think i fell for you.”
then he shot you a cheeky little wink. you stared blankly at the man sprawled in front of you. ruggie had to purse his lips to stop himself from laughing, your expression was priceless. you looked like you'd just been scolded for some sort of transgression—y’know, before you finally realized he was teasing you, which prompted to you start attacking him with everything you could muster. “you absolute asshole! i thought you actually hurt yourself!”
ruggie, on the other hand, balled himself up and protected his head with his arms as he cackled. “ow, fuck— don’t hit me, i’m already injured!” he wheezed between chuckles. your punches got lighter and lighter till they were nothing but little pats on his shoulder and ribs as his contagious laughter effected you. and eventually the two of you collapsed into hysterical giggles, covered in dirt and scratches but happy none the less.
“you done watching that video? it’s your turn, you know!”
ruggie’s voice snapped you back to reality, the video playing from your phone quickly forgotten as quick as it stole your attention. it was supposed to be a simple video of ruggie doing an ollie since he was so adamant about actually having it down this time yet… he turned it into a corny pick up line after brutally falling on his face. you’re totally posting this on magicam.
you placed your phone down besides you, sliding down the small ramp for the umpteenth time tonight. “yeah, yeah, im coming!” ruggie chose the perfect night to practice skateboarding for the moon was at its fullest and the stars were all out, lighting the whole area with twinkling luminescence. it really made things look ethereal, especially in contrast with the street lamps nearby.
ruggie had found this skateboard a month back and there was this run down skatepark near the school so you both decided, hey, why not give some tricks a try. all the bruises and cuts definitely made your teachers and some students concerned but at least you were improving every now and again. it didn’t take long for ruggie to get the hang of it, at least sort of. there was this one trick you saw online that completely peaked your interest and in attempt of trying it, you ended up with a bloody nose. nothing was going to stop you from mastering this trick though, and if that meant getting bruised up more then so be it.
ruggie was squinting at his hand as you approached him, “i think i did actually cut my thumb when i fell, though.”
you rocked back and forth with your hands deep in your (rather, his) puffy jacket like the biggest shit you could be. “unfortunately for you, were all out of hello kitty bandaids.” he snorted at your words, turning around to face you properly. small scratches littered his face along with brightly colored bandages in different shapes and his smile wasnt as bright as his ocean blue eyes. he nudges the board towards your feet, rolling up the sleeves of his sweater before offering his hand. “ready?”
ruggie didnt miss how careful you were taking his hand and the slight squeeze you added when you stepped onto the board. your other hand flew to steady yourself as you put your other foot on the board. you glanced up to see him biting his bottom lip as his eyes trained on your shoes for any sign of unsteadiness or discomfort—like you might topple over if he weren’t looking. his concern brought a faint warmth to your heart as his gaze flickered to meet you, he was being so gentle with you. his hand loosened slightly on yours but you held on tight enough so he couldn’t pull away. “you good?” he asked with furrowed brows as his gaze lingered on your face. “don’t want you fallin’ off—“
“no.” you interrupted, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “i’m ready.”
for extra measurements as ruggie let go of your hand, his fingertips hovered over yours to make sure you weren’t going to fall, his hands quickly missing the warmth.
you started off slowly, gliding across the ground gently. ruggie followed suit closely behind, watching carefully to ensure no accidents happen. the wind blew past your faces, tickling your cheeks as you gradually picked up speed. he watched you smile to yourself, the glint of pride in your eyes.
it was only after you’d kicked off the ramp did he feel it—the familiar tug of your magic. the wind was working with you, your legs lifting off of the floor as you went higher. your back foot going under the board and flipping it back around, letting out a whoop that ruggie was sure he hadn’t heard from you before. his mouth opened wider than ever at your display—the wind was pushing you faster than he’d seen you move before. you seemed to glide across the concrete, never once breaking your stride. though when you landed, albeit a little off balanced, your eyes lit up like you had one the biggest teddy bear from a rigged claw machine. your face was glowing too, almost glowing like it could reflect your joy. your giggle rang through the chilly night air like music to his ears, and as soon as the feeling passed he felt it return tenfold. you were so fucking adorable. “did you see that?!”
ruggie braced himself for impact as you ran towards him with your arms outstretched, jumping and tackling him to the ground in one swift motion. the momentum caused the both of you to tumble onto your backs, your bodies pressed together tightly. his breath knocked from his lungs yet nothing stopped him from laughing along with you.
he pushes you away, scanning your face. “you’re okay, right? no scratches?” he reached up to cup one side of your face, gently wiping away a tear from your eye that rolled down to your nose. you were such an emotional little thing, it was absolutely endearing and god, he loved seeing you like this.
“of course i am! who cares?” you exclaim, knowing by heart that ruggie would catch you if you lost control of the skateboard mid-air. he always did.
your noses were brushing up against each other as you spoke, his eyes flicking down for a moment before darting back up. your lips were inches apart and if his heart was beating loud enough for the both of you to hear, it surely must have been so damn loud, you couldn’t miss the flutter of his breath against your face.
“i do.”
and maybe it was his tone, maybe it was the way he was staring at you in that way he was—so intent and full of emotion. you swallowed the lump in your throat; maybe it had something to do with the way he was gripping both sides of your face. maybe it was the warmness of his hands on either side of yours—you didn’t know and you didn’t particularly care. the urge to press your lips against his became too strong.
but he did. he leaned closer and closed his eyes, and suddenly you could hear the loud beating of your hearts, deafening even, as his lips brushed against yours for mere millimeters, yet your entire body froze in place. his touch was light at first, a feather light kiss that sent shivers down your spine. but before you knew it you had threaded your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss in hopes of convincing yourself that you weren’t dreaming. you weren’t. it felt just as amazing as you dreamed of, warm and comforting as you melted into his embrace while pressing deeper into the kiss with passion.
ruggie pulled back with a breathless laugh, resting his forehead against yours in awe. a grin stretched across his face, his eyes still closed and a dazed look plastered across his features. he could see why everyone always said that love makes fools of us all, because he was absolutely sure he looked like a total buffoon.
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sylwanin-was-right · 1 year
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It seemed like Spider didnt mind who his dad was as much as he was treated for who his dad was, which honestly makes me question his motives for the next movies and whether he'll truly side with Na'vi after he made the decision to save Quaritch (despite what a threat he was to entire clans and his semi-adpoted family).
I say this because its questionable how much sympathy Spider extended to Quartich over the course of a few months despite what Quaritch did and what he exploited him for. Spider was understandably desperate for parental figures since his mother died in the war when he was a baby, Quaritch was possibly cold to him in infancy, and Jake and Neytiri didnt fully accept him as a son ("...like a stray cat"). Quaritch technically died, which Spider could have been old enough to understand the impact of that early in his life, and Quaritch's artificial peservation and literal transformation could have revived his interest in knowing him. However, whats troubling about Spider's paternal-origins crisis to me is how much it overshadows a theme of collective family the film could have explored.
He lived for a long time without nuclear parental figures because much of the science crew (Norm, Max, etc) and to limited extent, Jake and Neytiri (though moreso Jake) were many people Spider could to look up to. In the scene where Spider is a baby running around the base in his diaper, a woman catches him and picks him up affectionately, and at the Camp, Spider is playfully teased by Norm. Soider is met by Max with warm affection at the lab. And of course, Jake and Neytiri's kids adored Spider and treated him as a brother. We can even speculate that Spider had chances to find parental figures among the Omatikaya Na'vi, like Mo'at and other surviving clan memebers. So its believable that Spider got adequate affection and attention from a collective "family" of humans, Avatars, and some Na'vi for most of his life. I feel that this makes his character's desperation to see a father figure in Quaritch a weird writing descision, because it doesnt make much sense for how old Spider is (how long hes been without a singular paternal figure) and how many parental figures he's already gotten opportunities to have between Na'vi and humans.
I havent read The High Ground so maybe there will be explaination there. Perhaps Spider didnt recieve much affection from the human crew, and perhaps most of his childhood was spent isolated among the humans and not amongst Na'vi. Maybe Spider felt he didnt know enough about Quaritch to take everyones word that he was a threat rather than just a dutiful man completing a mission. Whatever his motivations, they werent very clear in the movie, and the progression of time in the film wasnt very clear to me, so his initial hostility then sudden mellowness around the humans and RECOMs when offered protection felt a bit unjustified.
Also I know that people say Spider being a traumatized, isolated teenager—a first gen Pandoran human—is what led him to sympathize with Quaritch, even in a stocholm syndrome way, which is understandable. And I see how it can feel gratifying knowing someone whos still somewhat your dad has spared you from torture and death many times out of need and maybe even out of sympathy. And maybe Spider felt some typa way about Neytiri baiting his life to free Kiri (though he seemed to understand and remained relatively calm when in her clutch). But when you witness your father in charge of a fleet that put knives and guns to your siblings heads, captured and tortured them to bait and kill your adoptive dad (the nicest to you out of your nuclear family), then saw your father bait your closest sibling's life with a knife to her throat, its a bit hard to sympathize with... sympathizing with your father figure, especially since Quaritch could have had multiple motivations to spare Spider that had nothing to do with him as a son (like the liability of having a child killed on his mission, the dissatisfaction of having your arch nemisis get her way, the disturbing nature of witnessing child death firsthand in an intimate attack rather than from a distance by impersonal means, like missles, etc).
To me it just feels like Spider was written to have a crisis specifically about his father to parallel with Kiri (and to better flesh out Quaritch's gradual change in character), but it feels disproportionate since Spider doesnt seem to wonder or care who his mother was in the movie, and doesnt seem to have a similar connection to her as Kiri does with her mother(s). It honestly feels a little unnecessary? Or rather hamfisted, because of the flaws I described, and because of how Spider's actions dont really add up considering how much we didnt see in the movie and how poor Quaritch was as a father figure in that context (using Spider initially as hostage bait then as an interpreter).
So Spider's dilema about Quaritch isnt necessarily a bad thingjust to be clear. I think its an interesting story. I just think the eay it was presented in the movie leaves a lot more questions about the writing choices than about where his character is headed. I just dont care for all these religious and male/patriarchal based parallels, personally, and Cameron's focus on paternal relationships in the form of Spider's confusion about how to feel about Quartich just.... doesnt add up imo. I feel this is a main reason I dont care for Spider's character (aside from the actor's performance and his placement almost exclusively as fodder for Quartich's arc, imo).
Hopefully A3 and reading The High Ground will have more answers and make Spider's sympathies to Quaritch and his desperation for a father figure make more sense in context.
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queers-gambit · 1 year
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hello again! I sent you an ask before stating how I wasnt initially attracted to aemond or his character but was offered a diff perspective thanks to your writing! And all I can say now is WOW. I honestly have no words at all, like I’m completely flustered?? Flabbergasted?? and just wanna utter word vomit. Because holy hell. Your talent is immeasurable!!!!! There are so many talented writers on here— you being one them ofc- but there’s few that could illicit such a physical and emotional reaction that your series has given me. Literally I am the biggest slut for angst and detailed lore and devotion. And despite not even being attracted to the character it was written about- it still had me ON MY KNEES. like I’m so sorry if this is kind of a lot, but WOW AGAIN. Initially when I sent you that ask, I hadn’t even finished the series and could barely put into words everything I felt then! But THEN I read Kin slayer and my world was OFFICIALLY rocked. Shifted its axis and all LMFAO. Couldn’t help bur think about it days on end. i haven’t even been able to read the alternate ending due to how much it affected me. Had to step away from tumblr and all. So again, thank you thank you thank you. For providing and sharing your immeasurable talent with us all. And I’m not ready (jk) but will obviously fully support and eat up whatever your have in store from this universe and beyond! muah!! - 🖤
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disasterghaster · 2 years
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JUMPS in on this screw anon; while my memory is eh on details, I do know that you and I have rp'ed on and off for ?? likely almost a decade now. I think I just, came across the hinabn and stuck around with the group early on, and when I got this rendition of enya going. many a thing happened, but I know some of the quieter threads we had were instrumental in helping me really develop enya better. I was younger, throwing out whatever came to mind without much care for the details. but when I came up against you, the care you put into your threads and words, however small; I know I was nervous early on. lot of "man I wish I could write like that" thoughts! I dont think I managed to ever match you, but you always seemed to care about every thread it really encouraged me to keep trying, even when I felt like I wasnt good enough - I could try and learn from reading your half.
I will admit that, after one of my earlier gaps, I shied away from re-interacting - not because of you specifically, more so I didnt want to fall back into old habits in general, thinking that avoiding old rp groups might help.
I remember a bit later on, I refollowed without saying anything, then unfollowed again. my reasoning was I couldnt think a way to interact, and because you rp with such a solid group that has such an incredibly well-developed setting and rapport, I didnt think I would even be worth the time (and a hint of "I followed u why wont u interact with me" assumption, twas a dumb thought but there nonetheless). but you have always been one of those folk that I know I can still find you down the road; bit of a "oh yeh, I remember interacting with her, I wonder how she's doing" and the writing has always brought me back in. which is also why Im a bit greedy in getting a lil thread going whenever you offer it ehehe <3
and I cant say it enough, your writing is fantastic, even the smaller threads. the way you can capture emotion in words and your use of language in general has always been inspiring to me. its definitely pushed me to do better and to really think about the emotion a character would be feeling and how to get it out without your usual "he was sad" deal. having a character for decades helps, but the way you make something as small as talking about pizza feel real is the big Why for my following.
I know a bit on how you feel, but Ive always had a feeling thats a part of the tumblr experience; people are shy and timid, more so with well-established blogs. I know I follow a few blogs that I dont/cant see a good way for enya to interact with but just love to see their character and read their threads. possibly putting out a "like this to discuss thread ideas" mayhaps might bring some of the quieter followers out, or directly message some that you have a loose concept about. unfortunately, even if we're all a bunch of shy nerds who love writing our characters, we're afraid of rejection. its hard, but sometimes reaching out to them is the only way to break that worry
however, I do think you have such a solid circle that, while it may get difficult finding things to write, its a good base of people that love and support you and will continue to do so however much longer we got in this place <3
this got long and wordy and I apologize!! sdfgh
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Ssssso much information and worrrrrddddssss, ya neeRRRRRRRD.
But all points and nice things taken.
I do have to think about how to do 'outreach' a bit more. I've always struggled with just popping into conversations with people I'm not familiar with. Some of that, too, is difficulty with 'small talk' a lot of the time and the social stamina thing--not making excuses so much as explaining why I have a big deficit in that department. I know that could be worked on and maybe there's some work arounds.
Like how I've been trying to post more ask memes and starter memes and stuff.
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Wow I really am incapable of excluding hugs from a fic, this wasnt even planned
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cynettic · 3 years
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Hello, can I request a reaction with childe, albedo, xiao and diluc where their SO is pretty clumsy and one day, they (the characters) just snap and say mean things? Please end it with comfort or something nice, my heart isnt strong enough to handle full angst :')
Clumsy S/O x Genshin
Summary - As someone clumsy, the genshin boys often pay special attention to your little accidents and mishaps. One day they snap, comforting ending though ;-;
Pairings - ClumsyReader x Childe / Albedo / Xiao / Diluc
Warnings - A bit of possessive behaviour for Xiao- but otherwise, a tad bit of angst at the beginning of each one.
A/N - After I wrote Albedo’s hc I realized that seeing him angry… would be really hot. Might write up a degradation one after-
Childe
“Stop it! It’s not funny anymore!”
It wasn’t surprising that once again, you’d managed to trip on your own feet and now somehow the vase sitting on the stool next to the couch had fallen… and broke.
But it was the first time you’d heard those words come from him.
“What do you mean… stop?”
Childe had never said anything about your clumsy antics, always picking you up and laughing or teasing the situation off. On the occasion that you got hurt, he’d tend to your wounds and make you promise to be more careful. Of course there was always a next time, and next time, and text time…
Until Childe had enough.
“From falling- tripping over your feet and taking down everything with you! No one tumbles around this much… so either you’re just doing this for fun or- or…”
He began to realize after those words that he’d taken it too far. When glancing at your teary eyes and how your figure started to shake he knew he couldn’t take those words back.
He knew it wasn’t your fault, he knew you tried to be as careful as you could.
But it was so frustrating.
You were still laying on the ground from the fall, and he bent down to help you up. You didn’t look him in the eyes, and an empty feeling buried itself in his stomach when you stood up.
“I’m… sorry.”
It was you who spoke these words, shoulders still shaking. You knew it might’ve been frustrating or annoying for Childe.
The two of you are just standing there, Childe feeling ten times guiltier because you apologized, and you feeling terrible because you’d broken another vase and he’d yelled at you for it.
The two of you feel so bad about it- ;-;
It isn’t till Childe acts out and pulls you into a hug that you realize he felt bad for yelling at you. Sure he may have been frustrated, but it was only cause he was worried about your well being, he didnt want you getting hurt.
“Im sorry Y/n… I didn’t mean to act out like that. I know you're trying your best.”
Albedo
“What happened.”
It was supposed to come out as a question, his eyes trailing over the mess of his lab and the sorry pitiful state it was in.
It didn’t come out sounding like a question.
Seeing Albedo angry of all things was only a myth among the knights of Favonius, a joke to Klee, and a topic never brought up to the citizens of Monstadt.
Albedo? Mad?? Impossible.
Well, you were living proof that it indeed wasnt a myth to see the alchemist angry.
“I fell…” was all you said in response to his glare. “I wasn’t paying attention and I tripped against the table… I’m sorry…”
Of course you were sorry, just waiting for Albedo to get home and maybe scanning the lab and all his experiments while he was away. No bad intentions, but unfortunately your bad habit of tripping over your own feet summoned itself at the worst moments.
Usually, Albedo would catch you with utmost ease. A reflex he’d learned from Klee before she went sprinting out to cause more of a ruckus. If you were to get hurt, he’d usher or carry you back into his house before patching you up. It was always quick and painless, but he made you repeat why you’d fell and how to avoid it.
Albedo wouldn’t be comforting you now.
“You fell?” He simply asked, his tone menacing enough to know that it was something important in that jumble of experiments. “You seem to do that a lot nowadays don’t you?”
You’re at a loss for words, “I’ll help you clean it up… I didn’t mean to-”
Not wanting to mention how the glass shards had cut your hand, you stood up with wobbly knees to start picking up the pieces of glass. You were sure your boyfriend had put a lot of work towards this, and you felt terrible for having ruined it all.
Albedo isn’t a savage tho.
He notices the cut on your palm, and your shaky figure as you begin to clean up the mess you’d made. He knows that cleaning up the lab as soon as possible is important, but you’re still his top priority.
“Come here.”
When you don’t immediately go to him, he walks to you. Taking your wrists and getting a good view of the injury. He tugs you to the doorway to get you fixed up, and realizes that you’re shaking, a little bit too much…
“It… seems I was a bit too harsh earlier.” He fully faces you, expression softening. “I’m sorry, I know you didn’t mean to, none of the items on the table were of any importance if it makes you feel better.”
Please let him wipe any stray tears if you do cry, he didn’t mean to sound so angry, and really doesn’t care too much about what was on that table. Poor man’s just had a tough day at work.
Xiao
“I worry for you, every single minute of every goddamn day- every moment that my eyes aren't on you! Why don’t you make it easier for me and just sit still?!”
Xiao is protective.
That fact is known, its accepted, you might even find it endearing.
But Xiao has lived a much longer life than you, he’s seen the people he loves crumple and drain away. Watched them fade from his life one at a time, so he’s dedicated to making sure you stick around.
He knows that eternity isn’t an option for you, so he makes sure that the time you both have together is s a f e . Which means yes, he will catch you every single time you fall. Especially if it’s off the Wangshu stairs that you somehow always trip on?
The poor boy worries excessively for you, so much that he will try to hurry up the process of clearing out the normal hilichurls or threats that lie around Liyue Port.
But on the very rare occasion that you somehow end up into trouble without him there…
You don’t yell “Xiao” like he told you to, you know he makes such an effort on making you safe, a bit too much… you don’t want to summon him to every trouble you have. You’re independent, one scrape isn’t going to kill you.
“I’m fine,” you simply say when he comes back to find your whole hand encompassed in bandages. “Just tripped.”
Xiao is not impressed.
He worries too much, far too much, and seeing you brush it off when he tries so hard to make sure you’re never in pain- he wishes you’d just sit still, wait for him and not trip on your own feet when doing such mundane things.
“I worry for you, every single minute of every goddamn day- every moment that my eyes aren't on you! Why don’t you make it easier for me and just sit still?!”
You’re obviously taken aback by the statement, “Xiao?” You offer him a comforting hug, trying to loosen his stiff muscles. “It’s impossible from protecting me from everything y’know… I appreciate your worry but I’m fine.”
But that’s a matter that is strained between the two of you, and will continue to be that way until either Xiao somehow lets go of his protective anxious faze, or you just accept it.
Either way, the boy will continue to catch you when you fall. Even if you broke apart from him, left him, you’d still occasionally feel the lightest touch when you trip over your feet and feel yourself steadied.
Diluc
“Are you doing this on purpose?!”
Just like Xiao, Diluc is fairly protective over you, especially if it concerns your health.
He’s often not quick enough to catch you, but instead picks you up in his arms and sits you on the table to make sure you’re not hurt.
You often get bruises, but nothing more serious. He makes sure to kiss them better- something you jokingly stated once, and he’s actually taken it seriously.
“Kissing it will make it feel better? You’re sure?”
Overall, Diluc was very understanding to your clumsy antics. Maybe even find it endearing on a hard day of work, either way, he’d never yell at you for it.
Until he had enough.
It’s exhausting, to hear something clatter and know that you’d probably tripped. Tripped and harmed yourself in one way or another, the options were infinite, and Diluc’s anxiety could heighten at the slightest crashing noise.
“Are you doing this on purpose?!”
Eventually it became too much and he asked you that exact question, hands tangling through his hair as he stared at you wide eyed, furious. There you were on the floor, just a single chair knocked down as you were beginning to shakily stand back up.
“No… of course not. I wouldn’t do these things for fun-“
It’s not like you enjoyed absentmindedly stumbling into objects, it just… happened. Diluc was usually so patient and understanding… so why?
“I know… it’s just...” he rubbed the temples on either side of his face with his thumbs, frown set in a line. “I keep worrying and worrying- every time I hear a noise like that…”
It doesn’t take long for him to sort this out through a conversation, and then settle that you need to be more mindful and careful, something you have to improve on. He will simply watch on the sidelines, catch you when he can, and coax you when you end up hurt.
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ladyvesuvia · 3 years
Text
Try // [D.M.]
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[Navigation] [Masterlist]
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader
Requested?: No
Summary: A loveless arranged marriage between two people who had not bothered to try to make it work in the first place. (omfg i hate writing summaries btw enemies to lovers, thanks @samineisntmyname ily i kno it wasnt what u had in mind but i wanted to add something ahdhdj)
Disclaimer: GIF NOT MINE! I do not own any of the characters in this story.
Words: 2.9k
Warnings: a n g s t
A/N: OK SO i had so much ideas for this oneshot but it’s 7am and i haven’t slept and i fell out of love with it. sorry if it doesn’t feel like draco, i haven’t got a good grip on his character yet + i’m more of a harry stan and this hasn’t been proofread so i might edit it later aaaaa msdjskkala
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It was a big house, spacious enough to fit an entire lot. Different rooms for different purposes, large windows and lovely doors. . .It was nothing at all like the gloomy and somber demeanor of the Malfoy Manor, but the couple knew full well that it would soon turn worse. Deprived of a happy family to occupy its beautiful expanse, each corner of the abode would crumble as fast as a Snitch would vanish.
Draco Malfoy, whose personality was now his career alone, kept to himself in their bedroom. Calling it a shared bedroom was quite a bit of a stretch, given that [Y/N] never slept in it even on the first day they moved in. Draco did not know about her whereabouts, and he did not find himself worried about it at all; as she didn’t meddle with his own. To him, it was only as if they were the only people living in Hogwarts, crossing paths only whenever, hearing the other’s footsteps shuffle distantly as they once again parted ways.
They would be having their first anniversary in a week or two, and yet their marriage was still as loveless as a mandrake’s sob — the only thing [Y/N] could use as an analogy with. Tonight, it was the same as usual. Both were sitting at the two far ends of the lengthy table, eating bland soup. [Y/N] finished earlier, about to leave the table without bothering to look up when Draco rose from his seat, the chair making a deafening creak as it retracted.
As her eyes met his, Draco immediately thought of another’s gaze — that of Astoria Greengrass’s. The pair of eyes staring back at him was empty, hollow, and — if it were possible — dead. He had never seen this woman smile. Merlin, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen her at all. Why’d he stand again?
She didn’t seem interested, much less concerned. Just as she was about to turn away again, he called out her name; surprising not only her but himself as well for he had never said her name before. He only referred to her as names a married couple gave each other, just like she always did with him. The two were not familiar with each other that they couldn’t even be bothered to know the other’s name.
“You can sleep in our bedroom,” said Draco, flinching at what he called the room. Our bedroom? “If you want to.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I must decline.” She replied in the same monotonous tone she always had. “If that’ll be all, then farewell.”
“No, that’s not all.” She halted once more. He couldn’t read her stance, and no assumption seemed fitting. Too relaxed to be annoyed, too stiff to be angry. . . As she turned to face him again in the same gaze she held, his grip tightened on the back of the table he was leaning on. “Our anniversary.”
“What about it?” [Y/N] made silent strides back toward her seat, sitting down effortlessly.
“What about it?” Draco repeated humorlessly, biting back his tongue in an effort to not burst into flames. He scoffed as he started to unbutton the high-collared shirt he wore, sweat covering his neck. “I’m trying, [Y/N]. I’m trying to make this marriage something.”
“You mean something that it’s not.”
“You — !” He ran his fingers through his hair, not knowing what to say at all. “This is maddeningly frustrating!”
She simply stood up from her seat, wiping her fingers with a napkin, not meeting his eyes.
“It is, isn’t it?”
“Stop talking like that,” he spat. If there was one more thing he hated, it’s the way she delivered herself. This was not their first argument — if it even was one — but it wasn’t their umpteenth one, either. In fact, it was only their second. He wanted her to be angry, to talk back, to throw something at him — anything at all. He simply wanted to know that he was not the only one angry to be put in this wretched life, forced to walk the same repetitive routine in this dull manor. “Merlin, [Y/N], I’m trying—”
“No. No, you’re not, and I don’t want you to.” [Y/N] scratched her nose, as if this was only a minor inconvenience in her otherwise tidy life, silencing Draco. She had never spoken to him like this before. Her words and her gaze were that of daggers, but her tone was still empty — monotonous. “You’re only saying you are to convince yourself that you’re the lesser of two evils. Asking a spouse to sleep in the same room as you does not equate to trying, as you call it. Have a good night, my sweet.”
With that, she gave him a hollow smile and left the dining room. Draco heard the front door open and close a while later. He hated that woman — loathed her. He hated that he couldn’t even get a proper argument with her. Let her have the last word, let her win, he didn’t care. But he just wanted a back-and-forth quarrel. He wanted her to hate him as much as he hated her. Hate, hate, hate, and hate. Why can’t he have even just that?
Draco enchanted the table, cleaning it up quickly. Folders in hand, he trudged back to their—no, his bedroom—with spite, taking the longest route, unconsciously hoping to cross paths with his wife. He casually paused each room he passed by: the library, the drawing room, the conservatory. . .
Could it be that she ran away? There was no time to lose. Draco dropped the folders he was holding, the papers flying away like confetti in the hallways, some falling down to the floor below. His footsteps ricocheted, reverberating across the entirety of the manor. She would’ve heard him by now. Where is she?
Just when he was about to shout her name at the top of his lungs, his eyes caught on something moving outside from the turret window to his left. Draco took a peek, squinting his eyes to see what was happening outside.
Under the mournful moonlight, he could make out the silhouette of something shaped like a certain fruit, moving like a swing would. It was a hammock.
It swung back and forth and as it slowed down on its own, a leg popped out, backed up a bit then a few moments later the hammock was back in motion.
“She’s alright,” Draco muttered under his breath. “She’s fine.” For the first time in a long while, he let is shoulders drop, realizing just now that he had been concerned about the woman he loathed with every fiber of his being.
He couldn’t bring himself to be angry at how he reacted, for the view he just saw was strangely calming. How could he not know she set up camp outdoors? Was he that bad of a person? Has he really not changed yet? They’ve been living together for a year yet he knew absolutely nothing about her.
Draco Malfoy knew little of who she is and was, and this simple charade was enough proof. All information he had of her were common knowledge, a general description of how she was seen by the public: [Y/N] [Y/L/N] was the only child of the [Y/L/N] family, always left to her own devices. Lone wolf — at some point, the Daily Prophet sparked speculations about her being a werewolf, but that’s another story — daughter of the honorable family comes back to London. She was supposed to enroll at Hogwarts. However, due to an unknown reason, they had to transfer her to Beauxbatons at the last minute.
This unknown reason had not bothered him until now. As he watched the hammock slow down once more, he couldn’t help but think about the conversation at the dining table. Maybe he just shouldn’t have spoken. Did he really think he could make a difference? What did he even expect her to say? Ridiculous.
Too lost in his own thoughts, it took some time for him to notice raindrops staining the turret window. Pitter-patter, it said tauntingly. Through the blurry glass, he noticed his wife struggle to get out of the hammock, tripping a bit. He couldn’t see her face now, but she was frantically picking up her stuff she left on top of her sandals, making her way back to the Manor.
Crap, crap, crap — the scattered papers. Draco pulled out his wand, ready to call out a charm to clean up. Only that he was out of words.
The back door creaked open.
He jogged to the opposite hall, careful not to make a sound. Just — a — few — more steps and—
Their eyes met. She had come from the stairs. Her hair was damp from the rain. She did not stop walking, but she looked away already.
His hand was on the knob already, and he thought for a moment she was going to come into the room with him, but she walked straight ahead, to the direction where he came from. If she noticed the scattered sheets of paper, she didn’t say anything.
As he lay in bed, he thought of what she told him at dinner.
You’re only saying you are to convince yourself that you’re the lesser of two evils.
The same words kept repeating over and over in his head, a loop he couldn’t stop. It would have been so easy to reason with her, only that he knew she was right.
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On the night before their anniversary, [Y/N] left a box outside his room’s door. A watch seemed like a practical gift, and she did not know him well enough — not that she wanted to anymore.
She gave up on that after realizing she was not getting anything out of this pathetic excuse of a marriage. She had seen the way he avoided her gaze when they came home after getting married — the way he hurriedly took off his coat jacket, unbuttoned his collars, cufflinks, and took a nap.
Of course, she did not blame him, for she felt the same way. You can’t just put two people in a confined space and expect them to love each other. That’s not how it worked.
As she walked away to visit the manor’s library, the door swung open. She kept walking, not wanting to look back.
“[Y/N],” her husband started. “Would you like to sleep here?”
She turned around, meeting the eyes of the man who wore the same ring she did. “Does the bed have bolster pillows?”
He seemed taken aback. Probably not the answer he was expecting. “Oh, yeah.”
“Alright, then.” [Y/N] started walking to the room, already regretting her decision as he scooped up the box she left on the floor.
She took in the plain interior of their bedroom. The bed was as unkempt as her husband’s hair, but she didn’t mind.
That night, they lay next to each other for the first time since they moved in. Both were turned away from each other, and even though an hour has passed, they both knew the other was awake.
[Y/N] looked at her own watch. 23:48, it said. Only a few minutes until their anniversary.
“Did you love her?” Draco flinched. Something told him this wasn’t the only surprise he’d encounter later on. “Astoria, I mean.”
“How’d you know her name?”
“I happened to be curious about whoever this schmuck I was about to marry, you can’t blame me.”
It was like talking to a different person. Just a few days ago, she’d been so formal with him. Now. . .he didn’t even know what to call it.
“I guess you could call it that.”
“Cool,” she answered back, but she was already lost in her own thoughts once more. “I wish I knew how that felt.”
“You’ve never loved someone?”
“I may have, but it got taken away before I could find out if it was love in the first place.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know.” [Y/N] shifted in her position, now looking straight up at the high ceiling. Draco turned to her, taking in her side profile. He had never seen her up close, for he realized just now that she wasn’t that bad. In fact, she was beautiful in a way he couldn’t point out. She licked her slightly parched lips, looking back at him. “How do you feel when you dream of someone who doesn’t know you very well?”
He knew the answer to the question. But he couldn’t just tell her that, because he had dreamt of her a number of times in different scenarios he refused to recall. “I don’t know, I’ve never had that kind of dream.”
“I transferred to Beauxbatons after they wiped my best friend’s his memories of me. Messed him up a bit, had to be confined to a hospital for a while and my parents wanted to keep it silent. Bribed the Ministry of Magic to not publish anything about it and soon there were no more stories about me, just rumors.”
“Best friend?”
“Yes,” she gulped, as if telling this was using up all the energy she had. “Known each other long before I received a letter from Hogwarts. Showed him simple magic tricks — Muggle card tricks — but then he found out I was a real witch. He thought it was cool, but the department of Improper Use of Magic thingy wasn’t very happy. Had to Obliviate the crap out of him. Felt weird seeing him leaving his home, knowing that he no longer knew me. They sent me to my aunt in France to study in Beauxbatons after I tried to get in contact with him.
“Then I asked if I could return, and I was over the moon when they told me that I could. Packed my bags as fast as I could in hopes of seeing him again even from afar, but then I get home and find out I’m getting married.”
“Sorry,” said Draco, not knowing exactly what to say. He’d been rough with her wife since ever, and she was opening up now. “Do you thi—”
[Y/N]’s wristwatch beeped. “Oh, it’s twelve already. Don’t apologize, I know you didn’t want any of this either. Happy anniversary, good night.” She spared him one tight-lipped smile and pulled her own blanket over her head, turning away from him.
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Draco woke up four hours later, bringing out a table to the gazebo near the spot where she set up her hammock. He lit candles and let it surround the place.
He did not know her favorite food yet, so he resorted to cheese pizza. Wasn’t a romantic choice at all, but it was good enough. He surrounded the place with roses and decorated the gazebo. Dressing up in his best suit, he picked fresh flowers from the garden and put them together for a make-shift bouquet.
By six in the morning, he was already standing in front of their bedroom door. He knocked politely three times.
Two more.
Three more.
He liked that he knew her a bit more now. She must be a heavy sleeper, because he only heard a sleepy groan from the other side of the room. “Hello?” He knocked once more.
[Y/N] finally opened the door, her hair all messy, her eyes still glued shut. “What’d you wake me up for?”
“I’m taking you on a first date,” said Draco, holding out the flowers. “You don’t need to dress up.”
“I haven’t even brushed my teeth.” She yawned, taking in the sight before her. “Why are you wearing a suit?”
“Taking you on a date,” he repeated. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. “Do you want to brush your teeth first or. . . ?”
“Brush my teeth first.”
But he had the feeling she probably thought she was dreaming, and the sight of her had him stifling a laugh. When she got back, she was wearing her usual clothes, comfortable as ever.
Her widened eyes confirmed Draco’s assumptions. “You’re real?”
“‘Course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” Draco gave her a spin, flaunting his suit. “Ready to go?”
“I’m wearing this.”
“I think it looks good.”
“Why the sudden date, Draco?”
“Why the sudden first name basis, [Y/N]?”
And then she smiled. She looked very different with genuine happiness, and he decided that it was good on her. They might not be perfect, they might have a lot of differences, but he promised himself that he’d make sure to at least keep that smile on her face as much as he can.
This girl might be full of surprises, but so was he.
“Good morning, I’m here to take you out.” Draco held out his arm, but she took his hand instead.
“And I’m here to let you do so. Lead the way!”
Draco did not ask for more about what she had told him last night. As far as he was concerned, that did not happen, for this was only their first date, and he was still only getting to know this woman before him. No, he did not hate her, he simply did not know her yet. And so he lead the way, as she had asked him to.
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A/N: i actually planned on ending it with the reader telling more about that best friend and visiting him + getting closure even by just watching him from afar + moving on n stuff like that but like i said i got lazy im sorry huhu hope you guys liked it anyway :))
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annabellelupin · 3 years
Text
Perciver (Percy x Oliver) Headcanons
They first met on the train ride to Hogwarts after Percy tripped over Oliver's luggage that he left out in the aisle
After a short argument, Percy went to find an empty compartment, only to find they were none and didn't have much of a choice but sit with Oliver
He was very annoyed to hear that he was more interested in quidditch than actual studies
"I can't wait until I can try out for the quidditch team next year"
"You know there's a lot more to Hogwarts than just quidditch right?"
When the train arrived at the station, Percy was more than happy to leave the compartment and the "annoying quidditch boy" behind
Unfortunately for him, the hat sorted them both into Gryffindor, meaning he would have to deal with and share a dorm with the obnoxious and impulsive jock for the next 7 years
Most of their first year, they completey ignored each other, finding the other extremely annoying
In their second year, Oliver became the Gryffindor quidditch keeper after he did amazingly at tryouts, which Percy wasn't too happy about
He thought that he wasn't taking anything that wasn't quidditch seriously, and he wasn't exactly wrong
Oliver always seemed to insist on putting off homework to practice quidditch
Percy tried to convince Charlie, the current quidditch captain, to kick him off the team multiple different times
"I agree that he should focus more on his studies, but he's the best Keeper Gryffindor has had in years. I can't just kick him off the team. We need him. Maybe you could just try to help him out a bit, you know, encourage him to study more,"
"He'd never listen. He's a complete moron and doesn't care about anything that isnt quidditch,"
"Well you're a complete moron that doesn't care about anything besides your studies but I'd still help you out if you needed it,"
Percy decided not to go Charlie's suggestion to help Oliver out, thinking that it would be a waste of time and continued with his earlier plan to simply ignore him completely
However, half way through third year Mcgonagall offered Percy a chance at some extra credit, and of course he agreed before she even explained what it was all about
She explained to him that Oliver wasn't doing very well in transfiguration and if he continued doing poorly, he would have to be removed from the quidditch team so he could focus more on his studies and when she had discussed the matter with Charlie, he suggested having Percy tutor him
If it wasn't for the fact that he'd hate to go back on his word and disappoint Mcgonagall, he wouldn't have done it at all
Although he didn't hate the idea of tutoring such a moron much less
He tutored him for the rest of third year, and neither of them were too happy about having to associate with the other as much as they did
Fourth Year, Oliver was appointed quidditch captain by Mcgonagall (and just as Charlie had requested)
Percy continued to try his best to ignore him, although it was becoming harder and harder to do since they had most of the same classes
One night a few weeks before the first Gryffindor quidditch match of the season, he found Oliver alone in the Gryffindor common room with rolls of parchment and quills everywhere
"Finally decided to do a bit of studying?" Percy asked in a mocking tone
"No actually. I'm working on strategies for the quidditch game. Not that you'd understand," Oliver retorted as he took out another roll of parchment from his bag
Percy grabbed one of the pieces of parchment paper and examined it closely
After he took a look at a few others, he quickly realized how well Oliver was at strategizing
"These strategies-"
"Let me guess, are terrible and not as good as your brother's?"
"I was going to say genius,"
Oliver quickly looked up at him to try to see if it seemed like he was lying or not
"You really think so?"
"Of course I do, we both know that if i didn't think they were good I'd just tell you,"
"Thanks" Oliver replied awkwardly
"Might I offer a few suggestions,"
"I don't see why not,"
For the rest of the night, the two boys continued to discuss quidditch strategies for the upcoming game
After that night, they started to talk to each other a lot more, slowly realizing the other wasnt so bad after all
Percy even agreed to tutor him once again, as long as he actually tried to put forth the effort
They quickly became friends and often stayed up late into the night, talking about quidditch and exams and helping each other when ever they needed it
Their fifth year was definitely a bit more complicated than that with Percy being busy with prefect duties and Oliver with quidditch
It seemed as if the less time they spent together, the more they both realised how much they actually liked each other
About half way through fifth year, Percy's good friend, Penelope Clearwater, asked him if he was seeing anyone
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No"
"Perhaps a boyfriend then?"
"Nope"
"Well what about Wood? You two seemed awfully close last year,"
"He's just a friend"
"Mhm sure he is,"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean just friends, don't look at each other the way you two look at each other,"
Percy thought about what Penelope said a lot over the next few days, slowly becoming more and more confused as to how he felt about Oliver
He also kept thinking about how even if he did like him, there was no way Oliver felt the same- or even liked boys for that matter
It seemed like Oliver had a new girlfriend every few weeks, never sticking with one for long
Percy began ignoring him on accident, and Oliver was quick to notice but chose not to say anything, worried that he had done something to cause Percy to be mad at him
The silence continued between the two for the rest of that school year, and wasnt addressed until the beginning of their sixth year
"Percy, we need to talk,"
"About what?"
"Did- did I do something that upset you last year?"
"Of course not. What would make you say that?"
"Well its just that you kept ignoring me is all,"
"I'm really sorry about, I wasn't meaning to its just-" Percy took a deep breath in and decided to be honest with him "It's just that Penelope suggested that I liked you and then i started thinking about it and slowly realized that what she said was true so I accidentally started ignoring you,"
"Wait, you like me?"
"I know it's stupid and that you don't feel the same,"
"What do you mean? I've had a crush on you since fourth year,"
"What?!"
"I thought I had made it so obvious,"
"I- I never realized once. But if you do like me, then why do you keep dating so many different girls?"
"I was trying to make you jealous. I honestly don't even like girls,"
"Wow. I feel so stupid,"
"Me too,"
After that they decided that they wanted to be in a relationship together, but wanted to keep things a secret for the time being
The rest of their sixth year went pretty smoothly, and everything went really well until seventh year
During their seventh year, they weren't able to talk much during the day since both were really busy (Oliver with quidditch and Percy with head boy duties)
They still always tried to make time for each other tho
After losing the match to Hufflepuff, they snuck out of the castle and got some butterbeer and Percy attempted to cheer Oliver up (it did work in the end)
Later on after Gryffindor won the house cup, the two ended up just cuddling and kissing in their dorm room instead of joining the other Gryffindors in the common room party since Percy wasn't fond of all the noise
Once the two left Hogwarts a few weeks later, they both decided to keep in touch by letter and meet up when they could
When the Quidditch world cup was announced, Oliver offered to buy Percy a ticket for the seat next his, but he respectfully declined, already planning to sit with his family
Despite this, they spent a lot of time together while there
Almost immediately after the quidditch match ended, they snuck off together and ended up snogging by a lake not too far from where they were camping
Unfortunately Charlie found them kissing when he went to go look for Percy, and both of them became extremely flustered
"I uhh, we were just, umm, Oliver what were we doing again" Percy stammered, getting redder by the second
"Umm well weren't you just trying my butterbeer chapstick" Oliver replied, not trying to make eye contact with either of them
"Yes of course, and now that I have, I'll just leave" He tried to walk away but Charlie grabbed his arm before he could
"Wait just a minute Perce. I know that you and Oliver are dating,"
"What?? Why didn't you tell me that we were dating Percy?" Oliver lied, trying to act like he had no idea of what's going on
"You're not helping," Percy scolded his boyfriend
"I just saw you snogging him, if you're going to lie to me, at least try to do it well" Charlie mumbled
"I don't mind you two being together, and I promise I won't tell anyone" he added
"Thanks," Percy sighed
"So wait, you're not going to kill me for kissing your little brother?" Oliver asked jokingly
"Of course not" He laughed. "Bill probably would've though,"
"Well I'm just going to go back to camp now. I assume dad's wondering where I am," Percy attempted to walk away again
"One more thing,"
"What is it?"
"I just wanted you know that I think he's a keeper," Charlie laughed loudly
Oliver quickly joined in on the laughter and Percy groaned out of annoyance
I'm just going to leave this off here since its already really long but if you want me to write some more post Hogwarts Perciver hcs or any ship or character hcs, let me know (you can comment on this post if you want me to make more Perciver hcs and tell me through asks or dm for other character hc requests)
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samdeancass · 3 years
Text
Different Sides of the Track
Requested by: @sofiatheefirst
Pairing: Kai x Salvatore!reader
Genre: Fluff, slight angst
Characters: Kai, Y/N, Damon, Klaus, Bonnie, Stefan, Katherine
Words: 1920
A/N: the reader being a Salvatore wasnt in the original request, but I decided to write them like that. Mentions swearing.
Description: Y/N and Kai are from different sides of the track. They are the polar opposites of each other, and both hate the other, or do they?
You were sat across the room from Kai, shooting daggers his way. Each time you even glimpsed at him, all you felt was frustration bubbling in your body. You didn’t know why, but everything Kai ever does gets on your nerves. The way he sits, talks or even breathes ticks you off; which is why you rolled your eyes when Kai started sticking his two pence worth into the conversation.
“Right, I get that you guys need me to save the world and everything. But how will it benefit me after we win? I don’t want to be running for my life from my enemies who want my blood. I want to be able to lie on a beach, with the sun streaming on my face and a pina colada in my hand.”
You let out a groan of frustration and cradled your head in your hand. “Seriously, can you not think about yourself for one minute?! The whole world is at stake and all you can think about is lying on a fucking beach!”
Everybody in the room was taken aback by your outburst, everyone apart from Kai; who was leaning against the Salvatore’s fireplace unfazed and a maniacal grin on his face. “Of course I’m thinking about myself, I need to know that my life is going to be good after I save the world that I also live in.”
You let out a scream of frustration and stormed out of the room and up the stairs of the Salvatore mansion, slamming your bedroom door behind you. You flopped onto your bed and screamed into your pillow, letting out all of your pent up anger from being around that smug asshole. You heard a faint knock on your bedroom door, but you didn’t bother answering it; you just wanted to be alone for a while.
The door opened anyway and footsteps walked across your carpet. Sensing the bed springs dipping, you lifted your head up slightly and peeped at the person, or vampire, that had entered your room. “Stefan, what are you doing in here?” He gave you a little smile and held his hands up in surrender. “I just wanted to see how you are?”
You rolled over onto your back and gave a stoic face. “How do you think I am? You know I hate Kai’s guts but, for some reason, you went behind my back and recruited him anyway! Why do we even need him? Surely we can stop this threat without him!”
“We need him, Y/N. He’s the most powerful witch we know, beside Bonnie, and we need all the help we can get if we want to stop Katherine turning the whole world into vampires. Damon’s even trying to convince Klaus and the rest of the Mikaelsons to help us with this. Katherine’s already turned half of America. We need a lot of muscle and power to even have a chance at stopping her plans.”
You slammed your head back down on the pillow with an exasperated sigh, letting Stefan’s words sink into you. “Alright. But I can’t promise that I won’t ‘accidentally’ hurt him whilst we’re fighting Katherine’s vampires.” Stefan let out a little chuckle and patted you on the head. “Alright, little sis.”
After a few minutes, you built up the will to heave yourself off your bed and walk back downstairs. You grimaced a little when Kais’ voice entered your ears. “Oh, the Princess returns.” Rolling your eyes, you put up the middle finger to him before taking your previous seat.
“Alright, now that we're all on the same page, can we please finalise a plan?” Before a discussion began, the front door opened and closed within a second. Damon walked into the sitting room and took a seat on the arm of the sofa. “Well, Damon?”
“Well what?... Oh, the Mikaelsons. Why don’t you ask them yourselves?” At that moment, 5 figures walked through the doorway and took residence leaning against the bookshelves. You could feel the tension building up in the room as the Salvatore’s and Mikaelsons were staring at each other, never breaking eye contact.
You narrowed your eyes at Klaus. He had once tried to kill you as a way of making your brothers suffer. In return Klaus gave you a smug smile, one that you would gladly wipe off his face.  Bonnie could sense that the tension was thickening by the second and cleared her throat as a way of diffusing the situation. “Alright guys, let’s leave bloodying each other until after we've saved the world, yeah?”
Klaus walked forward towards you which made you instinctly tense up as a defense mechanism. “Come one step closer and I will pummel you, understand?” Klaus chuckled at your attempt of scaring him and held his hand out towards you. “I don’t want to hurt you, dear Y/N. I want to make amends. For all of the times that I’ve come after you and hurt your brothers.”
Anger was bubbling at the surface but you managed to swallow it down and shook his hand. Klaus then stepped back beside his brother. “How cool, I’ve always wanted to meet an original vampire!” All heads turned towards Kai, who was grinning from ear to ear with excitement. “You are an absolute moron!” You shot Kai a bewildered look and shook your head in disappointment. “Can’t you take anything seriously?!”
“Nope, not one thing.” He shot a smile at you, one which wasn’t filled with smugness or humour, but one full of genuine happiness and, maybe even love. A strange feeling burst into your heart when he smiled at you. You shuck your body to push the feeling away and settled in to listen to the plan.
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Bonnie had carried out a tracking spell and managed to pinpoint her location to an abandoned factory in Missouri. Everybody was in position and were waiting on Stefan’s call to get into action. However, to your disappointment, you had gotten partnered up with Kai. When Stefan chose the partners, he shot you a large smile as he read out Kai’s name and you gave him a bitch face. He knew how much you despised Kai, but he partnered you both up anyway. Stefan was going to get the beating of a lifetime when you returned home.
You and Kai were crouched down behind a large rock that overlooked the opening to the factory. You were trying to keep your nerves at bay, but Kai’s constant chattering was getting on them, BIG TIME. “Can you shut up please? We’re on a mission to save the world. Everybody is counting on us and all you can do is chat about shit! Please be quiet and concentrate on the matter at hand!”
You furrowed your eyebrows in anger at Kai, but he just shot you a wide smile back. “You know, you're really sexy when you're angry.” You let out a low growl of frustration and raised your fist to punch Kai when Stefan gave the signal to attack. “This isn’t over, dipshit.”
You tiptoed over to the entrance of the factory, fangs at the ready and stopped at the side of the door. Kai was right beside you, white orbs hovering over his hands. You looked behind Kai and held your hand up beside him, silently counting down to attack. Both nodding when you reached zero, you stood in front of the door and kicked the door open, revealing an army of vampires waiting for you.
“Hello, Y/N.” “Katherine.” Katherine walked through the vampires and revealed herself to both you and Kai. Her hand on her hip, she walked toward you and looked over at Kai. “Well, who’s this dishy sidepiece?” She turned her attention to Kai, who you felt an overwhelming need to protect. “Stay away from him.”
Both Kai's and Katherine’s eyes grew wide as these words flew out of your mouth. “Really, Y/N Salvatore, falling for a witch? I never thought I’d see the day.” “I’ve not fallen for anybody. I just don’t want you hurting him before I do.”
In the corner of your eye, you could see your brothers, the Mikaelsons and Bonnie tiptoeing their way around the inside of the building, you just had to keep Katherine talking until they were ready.
Katherine laughed maniacally and walked back over towards you. “And what are you going to do if I do hurt him?” She walked right into your face, coming toe to toe with you. You could see Kai’s stance change slightly as Katherine closed in on you, as if he wanted to protect you. “Oh, I’m going to make your life a living hell.”
In the distance, Stefan gave you a slight nod. You lunged onto Katherine and the whole building erupted into battle. Vampires being flung into the air by Bonnie; Damon and Stefan ripping through the more stronger vampires with the help of the Mikaelson’s.
That just left you and Kai battling Katherine. She was older than you so she had the upper hand. She had managed to knock the wind out of you and push you onto the floor whilst also punching Kai into a wall. You let out a painful scream as you watched Kai’s unconscious body slide down the wall. These unusual feelings that you had been feeling towards him were finally becoming clear to you, and you were a little upset that it took a life-threatening situation for you to realise it.
You stood back onto your feet and lunged towards Katherine, knocking her into the wall behind her. “I told you I’d make your life a living hell if you hurt him.” You speeded over to Kai and knelt down beside him, smacking his face to wake him up. “C’mon Kai. Wake up. I need you. She’s too strong for me to defeat by myself. Please.”
Kai’s eyes fluttered open and you let out a sigh of relief. Standing up, you held out your hand as an offer and Kai took it, giving a little smile. “Was that a sigh of relief that I just heard? I thought you hated me.” You looked up at Kai and smiled. “I never hated you, just never liked you much.” He laughed and intertwined his fingers with yours as you both made your way towards Katherine, who was beginning to get up again.
“I knew it, you have fallen for him.” “Yeah well, I’ve always had a thing for idiots.” And with that, you and Kai both knocked her back down, unconscious. The fight behind you both had come to an end and you turned around to greet everybody.
Blood splatters and cuts and bruises covered their bodies, but everybody was thankfully in one piece. You ran over to your brothers and engulfed them into a hug. They lifted you up into their arms and hugged you back, pressing kisses into your hair. They both put you down and shot you a raised eyebrow. “What?” Stefan nodded towards Kai, who was walking with Klaus and Elijah (or rather, fanboying).
“I thought you despised him.” You looked in Kais’ direction and smiled. “Yeah, well. Turns out I’m a sucker for morons.” You walked back over to Kai and took his hand, pressing a simple kiss on his lips as your brothers laughed at you.
Even though you and Kai were completely different people and came from different sides of the track, it turns out that even vampires and witches can fall in love with each other.
Tags: @akshi8278 @stellastyless
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heysatori · 3 years
Note
Can you write about the Bakusquad, you know each of them, where y/n has been through a lot of heartbreaks and is unsure about relationships, but they reassure y/n that they won't do that and everything will be fine? And maybe a little fluff in the end for good measure.
Bakusquad reacting to y/n being scared of getting into a relationship genre: fluff, angst pairings: Bakugou x reader, Kirishima x reader, Sero x reader, Kaminari x reader, Ashido x reader a/n: sorry i responded to this a little late! all ive been doing is watching minecraft streams, watching anime and sleeping while balancing school work ehe (⌒_⌒;) but thank u sm for the request ! i hope this satisfies ur request ! disclaimer that the pictures im using arent mine ! they are from heroacacaps ! so credits to them ! if u guys want to scream at me u can dm me here or on my twitter ! @kodzusan (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡ im still accepting requests
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Bakugou Katsuki
both you and bakugou were scared of relationships for different reasons
bakugou was scared because he knew how rough he was around the edges, if he was even fit to be in nice relationship 
you on the other hand were scared of relationships because of the amount of heartbreaks youve been through 
you were cheated on, broken up with, ghosted, and just left hanging 
after all those mistakes you learned ur lesson ! 
so after having bakugou come up to you, courting you in the nicest way possible (giving you a bowl of your favorite food), you didnt know how to react 
on surface level, katsuki had quite a few red flags here and there 
but since you had gotten to know the boy a little better over the course of time, you learned to understand why he is the way he is 
you trusted bakugou 
so having him court you was surprising 
although u had the fattest crush on him, you still didnt know what to do
so instead of refusing him with no reason, you explained your past to him (parts of which he already knew) 
he understood completely, all he wanted was to treat you right and make you happy !! 
“listen y/n, i know im a little rough around the edges, but i promise you that i wont do any of that stupid shit to you! all of your exes are absolute fuckin’ dumbasses for doing that to you and im here to treat you right and make you the happiest youve ever been! if you’ll let me” 
ヽ( `д´*)ノ <- he blushes a little at the end
although wary, u trust him 1000% !! 
so you accept his offer !! 
hes pretty shocked that you accepted and instantly pulls you in a hug ! 
“thank you, i promise you fucking wont regret this”
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Kirishima Eijirou 
you had honestly fallen for eijirou the moment you met him 
but with your considerable bad love life you decided against pursuing after him 
but u couldnt help but feel urself get drawn towards him ! 
and surprise surprise ! you two become great friends ! 
but as time passes by, ur feelings for him become stronger, which is the total opposite of what u wanted  (╯︵╰,)
so its an even bigger surprise when kirishima comes up to you with your favorite flower, asking you to be his significant other 
he was so sweet but u were too scared to get into another relationship ! 
even though u and ur exes were in middle school at that time, those things still hurt you 
you explain all of this carefully to the redhead, not wanting to hurt his feelings 
he feels tears spring to his eyes as you tell him about your past 
he just wants to make you happy ! 
so without thinking, he pulls you into a hug 
“im so sorry that happened to you! you dont have to get with me if your scared! but just know that i wont ever, ever do those things to you! all i want is to make you happy, but its alright if you say no, ill still be here for you no matter what” 
overwhelmed with emotions, you end up tearing up as well, melting in his bear hug 
not wanting to make such a rash decision in the height of your emotions you tell the red head you’ll think about it (strongly hinting that you want to say yes)
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Sero Hanta 
sero is a very chill man so your attraction to him was a little unexpected 
but you admire him a lot for a lot of things that he does !
u keep ur attraction to him on the down low though 
it felt a little one sided for a while
you two barely interacted and he didnt even look at you most of the time 
but your relationship with him took a sudden turn and u two became close friends !
you two bonded over mangas that you both read, occasionally spending time in his room to read the latest releases together !
one day, sero invited you to his room to read a romance manga he found out about a few days prior 
you come over and end up sharing the book since you didnt have ur own copy 
when you and sero reach a panel where the main characters aka the lovebirds finally kissed for the first time, the tall boy looked over to you 
“wish i could do this with you” he said gently 
NOTHING could explain how surprised u were !! 
“are you serious?” 
“of course i am” 
at this you explain to sero that although you reciprocate the feelings, relationships are a little rocky for you considering your past relationships 
sero wraps an arm around you and pulls you to his side, burying his nose in the side of your head 
“thats fine, you dont have to say yes, just you knowing that i like you is good enough for me, just know that i wouldnt ever think about doing those stupid things to you, but if i can make you happy now, then im already doing a great job” 
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Kaminari Denki 
kaminari was a very sociable boy !! so it was impossible that you two werent friends after a few months you start to notice the way your cheeks tend to heat up when ur around the blond 
other people were also very aware at how when you and kaminari were together, both of you became blushing messes 
they didnt talk about it though 
they wanted the two oblivious dumbasses to figure it out themselves - ehem bakugou 
one day though, kaminari comes knocking at your door, looking ridiculously shy 
“uhm hi! i uh, i was, uhm, wondering if you maybe wanted to date me?” 
before you could even process what he said, he immediately took it back 
“wait no! uhm well i mean i like you a lot, thats why im asking! like a lot alot! i love your smile and your laugh and everything and i just, like making you happy, it makes me super duper ultra happy!”
although u want to accept denkis offer, your horrible dating life was looming over you
with this, you quietly tell denki that you dont think relationships are your thing 
he doesnt hesitate to ask you why !
you unwillingly tell him about your stupid relationships and hes quick to retaliate your self degrading words 
“hey! you arent stupid alright? you were young, things have changed! you’ve changed! i dont wanna force you into anything but just know, even if im a dumbass i wont treat you like that, ever! in fact, ill even be the best relationship youve ever had!” 
he pulls you into a hug not long after, squeezing you tight against his chest
“i trust you, sure, ill date you” (*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡
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Ashido Mina 
mina is a very determined person !
so when she wants something, she’ll get it one way or another 
so when she realized her big fat crush on you, she knew immediately that she wanted to date you 
and it wasnt just something about you, it was everything about you!
the way you stand, laugh, smile, talk, even if ur just sitting at your desk nodding off into sleep, she still thinks your the most amazing person ever ( ̄ε ̄@)
she doesnt hesitate to approach you after she is absolutely SURE about her feelings towards you
youre shocked of course, but you couldnt deny that you harbored feelings towards mina either 
you reluctantly tell her that although the feelings were mutual, you were still scared of getting into a relationship 
she listens carefully as u tell her about your past, rubbing your arm as comfort as you reveal a few of your insecurities 
“you didnt deserve any of that, i hope you know that! you dont have to say yes or anything, i dont want you to feel forced or pity, but i can treat you so much better that all of those jackasses! but we dont have to date for that, i can still do those things as a loving and good friend!” 
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papers4me · 3 years
Text
Fruits Basket, Se3, ep11 (part 1)
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Breaking toxic bonds & accepting healthy ones isn’t a miracle. A bond that started with love could end up chained & toxic, another that started wrong could’ve become the joy of a life time. You can do it. Break the cycle of abuse & stand up for yourself, it is easy yet so difficult, you aren’t alone, tho, loved ones stand nearby cheering. Be kind on yourself, otherwise you’ll throw your life away. Life isn’t just happiness & joy, it’s also sadness & loneliness. Break free from the shackles that held you down. Embrace life & Live.
-Tohru’s “ I’m okay” mask is finally shattered! (the Importance of kyo’s rejection for her development):
This is the last part of tohru’s character development! The last few eps were abt her role in Akito’s redemption & their similarities. she staood up for herself & choose a path away from her mom while keeping her mom’s memory in a healthy manner. No more planning my life according to mom’s wishes, no more talking to mom ‘s picture 24/7. Now, I’ll plan my life & move forward even if it is with the guy mom said she cant forgive. even If it is without him, I’ll move forward. I love him so much, yet I won’t force our bond & let go. So easy yet so difficult!. tohru doesnt know anything abt kyo after her fall. All she remembers is his heart-broken face as he wept beside her. Those tears on his face, she caused them. He cried cuz it is too painful to see her hurt. She was a burden to him! tohru restored to her old coping mechanism of pretending “ i’m Okay” & smiling. She did so numerous times before. Always worked. No one noticed. Except him. Se02, ep7. he urged her to show her true fears. Now, she’s faced with a pain so big she can’t pretend no more. the pain of loosing him. She cried in front of yuki! The smile & chatting abt chores couldn’t conceal the running tears! Yuki’s first time seeing her like that. Se01, ep14, yuki wondered how could tohru smile after her mom’s death. She can’t pretend no more! She’ll have to wear her feelings on her sleeve! cuz it IS ok to do so! She tells kyo to give her a moment to compose herself. She couldn’t lie & pretend like she did with yuki. Here she either run away or just try to compose myself! I LOVE THAT! This way, whenever kyo/tohru fight or have any misunderstanding in the future as a couple, you’ll know tohru won’t just bear it & pretend, “ i;m okay” No! she’ll talk to kyo & express herself! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! It gives her so much strength as a human & I’m happy all the obstacles & set backs in kyo/tohru’s romantic journey has led them to be better ppl little by little to build healthier & more realistic love! 
-The mechanics of writing a compelling slow-burn romance:
1. Igniting the romantic feelings slowly: Slow burns don’t work with love at 1st sight. It must first sparkle naturally, slowly & subtly. Both kyo & tohru repeatedly stated they don’t know exactly when they first fell in love. The author’s decision to create an environment where the two live together is a genius way to start & nurture their romance quietly & subtly. Kyo was tricked to stay in shigure’s house while tohru had to stay cuz she had no home, Natural reasons that force the two to spend days together & get to know each other gradually.
2. Dynamics of their personalities: For slow burns to work, the two characters need to be similar yet opposites! Kyo & tohru are both kind, endearing, innocent, good at chores, independent & hardworking. They both have history with their mothers that is filled with love yet traumas. However, tohru is calm yet prefer maneuvering around subjects, can’t stand up for herself, reads ppl easily, tends to trust ppl easily & disregard herself. Kyo is fierce, strong, tends to distrust ppl, despite ppl loving his spontaneous character, he has hard time figuring out if they’re mocking him or teasing him, very straightforward with his words & actions. The similarities helps them understand each other, however, the differences creates chances to clash & come even closer thro various situation. Ex, se01, ep2, kyo apologizing for hitting her head with the table which created the situation where she needed to confess she always loved the cat zodiac! It is HER gush of emotions that struck kyo. ppl really want my friendship? the cat is loved? Thro those difference they learned to better themselves so they won’t hurt the other, kyo toning down his anger for her, tohru desiring to know him even more as he becomes even more awkward.
3. Creating natural, realistic  & convincing obstacles that prevents them from being together:  This is the most important part! Slow-burn is two characters in love & cant be together despite everyone wanting them to be! if the reason that stops them from uniting is trivial, stupid, one-sided, can easily be solved, then the slow-burn would be a fillery & no one would cheer for it! Takaya-san is a genius!
Kyo can’t be with tohru cuz he thinks (a) he killed her mom! we saw thr flashback, he could’ve saved her & couldn’t save her. It was a split of a second difference & he hates himsef for NOT trying! that split of a second also prevented from thinking of better ways to save her than holding her! it happened to fast, he couldn't think of a better alternative cuz this was his 2nd time loosing someone (b) his mom’s sucide being pinned as his fault created this immense guilt & defeated feeling that “ no matter what, I just cause death & misery! There’s (c) too!, he knew tohru! thinks she deserves the world & cuz he didnt save her mom, he watched tohru talk to a freaking picture for two years! heck! he is the only one who can see thro tohru’s “ i;m okay” mask, so in se01, ep 14 in the grave yard! kyo wasnt the only one who is sad! tohru was too! & kyo could tell! (d) her mom’s death is the reason tohru is accepting shigure’s offer to stay with them rent-free in exchange of doing housework! (e)? he saw her confess crying her heart out abt missing her mom so much that she imitated her dad! so tragicly sad! (f) he saw her die in his nightmare!! how can he accept her love,now? Perfectly orchestrated obstacles! 
Tohru, unfortunately, in the anime it wasn't that clear due to shortening her backstories & trauma in se03, ep6. But she too couldn’t see herself confessing love to kyo. Tohru is has low self-esteem, always thinks she’s a burden to others, an orphan who just wants her mom, so scared, lonely & sad! we the audience believed the mask! we saw her work her motherly charm yuki, isusuz, kisa & believe her issues are not that deep.  tohru wont cry for herself but shed rivers for others! grief is so ugly it broke her! I cant let go of mom, must keep her always in my heart, such a hard emotions to write & I believe 100% the director couldn’t understand her grief & decided to split ep6 between her, kyo, isuzu & shigure. But Tohru struggling to confess to kyo is no laughing matter. ppl who are grieving find it the hardest to live after the loved ones die. they wont mostly commit suicide, they are alive, but they arent living. they just go thro the motions & live for the sake of those around them but not themselves. Tohru deciding to confess to kyo is her deciding to live for herself.
4. Writing a perfect psychologically & emotionally packed climax: I dont need to explain how perfect kyo’s rejection of tohru in se03 ep9 was. How much we felt for him yet were mad at him. He we were “ ugh! kyo no!!!! I mean I get why you do that , but you idiot no! come back! poor kyo! He was just so sad & broken! OMG he’ll kill himself after finding tohru’s injured body!! he totally would! his nightmare came true! But Tohru reached him! she wanted him to be okay! he wont kill himself but still feels hella guilty! but so utterly in love with her that his instinct upon seeing her come to life after near death is kiss her! Perfect display of psychology & emotions! filled with right, wrong, sad, happy, guilty, innocent! basically so human~ As the audience you MUST have this mixture of feelings of wanting to hug him so bad cuz this boy has been killing himself for years now yet want him to stop & just see that he was a good boy afterall. Tohru is THE best girl & if the audience are cheering for kyo to be with her, kyo really deserves her! The only problem is for kyo to see that now.
5. The Perfect wrap up of all romance: If you make your audience suffer the slow-burn this long, you gotta reward them good! & Takaya-san delivered! Just like how the entire romantic story is realistic, the reunion must be as realistic too! Tohru is hurt by kyo;s words. Facts remain his words were hurtful to her. I love that was addressed! tohru gets to tell her side, too! If you love someone, you are bound to be hurt by them as much as be happy with them. Simply cuz they matter so much to you! you arent one person, but two ppl coming together. Kyo must work hard for this confession. Must run & chase her. Must earn her proper! He gets on his knees, I cant express how important that is! he is way taller than her, Imagine apologizing while she looks way up & he looks down? He gets on his knees & apologize like a man, for every mistake, all while not loathing himself. He aint going back to that deep abyss again. He did wrong by her & he is owning up to his mistakes. Give me one chance. I’m not gonna force you with persistence or guilt you into taking me. Give me ONE chance cuz i deserve it & no more. The choice is yours. She asks to confirm, he shows her, they kiss, they hug, they are rewarded with a blessing from the heavens! One of the most simple yet emotionally fulfilling confessions in anime!
- Hugs over kisses: (And her kiss hugs her & the curse was lifted):
Prince charming kisses the princess & she wakes up~ they live ever after~ except furuba is all abt “ eternal ever after is not true, real life is where the real love is”
Kyo kissed tohru once, she didnt wake up, she didnt even think he loved her back. didnt even remember the kiss.
Kyo hugged tohru once. se01, e024, He initiated it, tohru was all in tears, surprised, happy & so utterly in love. he called her name for the first time ever, for a brief moment, they both connected, they both comforted each other. The rain stopped, he became a man not a monster, she got him back. She got her kyo that she fought for with none other than kyo himself.
kyo hugged her again, se03, ep6. They both initiated it. He made the first move, pulling her just a little closer, she made the second move & hugged him hard, he transformed, it was a moment were they both connected, both so sad & broken, both feeling needy for the other, both desperate for the other, both just living the moment. the result is them coming closer, her wanting him more, him realizing her love, there is no escape. Admit it. she loves you. You can tell.
Kyo hugs her again today. He asks permission. No spur of the moment feeling. But a long lasting permission to be together. To hug. He wants to hear her acceptance of his cursed body. “ is ok to hug you? this body will cause you pain as it wont be able to fulfill your wishes of constant hugs & intimacy”. She responds, permission granted, for love, for hugs, for a life long acceptance of you as a whole. weakness & strength, sadness & happiness. I accept you all in better & worse! we’re invincible. Why? cuz we understand love isnt magic. It is a path for us to walk together~~~ reward curse break!
Every time kyoru are closer it is a hug. The one thing the zodiacs cant do. A hug. They can kiss. But cant hug. comes this Zodiac Ruler girl so lonely, away from ppl, so sad, meets a cat boy who comes to the house she’s living in, a house away from ppl, the boy is drawn to the girl, However, when the boy needed to leave, the girl was able to let go despite loving him, the boy comes again, this time wanting to stay, the girl accepts the boy. They both accept the realistic reality of life. Embrace the obstacles & the achievements, celebrates the weakness above the strength. Both so imperfect. Both so endearingly dumb! that’s why the girl’s hug broke the boy’s curse. The girl’s acceptance of the cat broke all curses.
Side Note:
Kyo’s confession is so kyo! so straightforward, so direct, & so physical. He’s on his knees, holding her hands, looking at her eyes. “ i want to be WITH you. If I’m gona live, I want to to do it with you & no one else! cuz I love you” that’s it. That’s all.  So sincere & so romantic!
it is crazy how different tohru & kyo are now after the confession! she stood confidently & happily & said “dont you know, I love you!” all while teasing him, her giggle is so girlish & cute! my girl is a happy woman in love! long buried the angelic mother image of se02! YES! also, kyo’s happy face is love! Dude! when was the last time he smiled so freely? Did he ever do that? He smiled in se01, ep4 with kazmua, but not like this! T_T. my son is healing~
Kyo’s “ i wont ever feel afraid if you’re with me” is a huge growth from his “ I want to protect her” mindset. Now he realizes it is two-sided mutual desire. She gives him strength as much as he does! <3
I dont like open eye while kissing, but here it is so perfect for tohru in this moment! cuz she spent days thinking kyo rejected her & even ran away as soon as she saw him, now he’s not only confessing, apologizing, admitting she is his life, but also kissing her signaling they’re romantic couple. kissing on lips is so personal, what more evidence she needs? still, her thoughts? “ it’s like a dream?” aww~~~ tohru~~~ my precious girl! she just cant believe all her suffering is over, now? She was just practicing “ i’m okay” smile & now she’s an official girlfriend to the man of her dreams? He just bent da kneeee~ go for it queen!
yuki’s face when tohru cried is exactly what I meant of “ allowing yuki to have strong facial expressions”! XD these types of faces humanize yuki so much into the teenage boy he is! Unfortunately the anime team only sees him as the pretty prince in most times. That’s why fave yuki is when he’s with kakeru. He becomes so un-princly as he should be.
Speaking of yuki, I see you anime team~ postponing his moment into next ep so him & machi wont be overshadowed by the long awaited kyoru!! While this defies the perfection of all cursed zodiacs breaking on the same ep making akito’s breakdown less perfect & poetic, I take it as the anime team admitting they underdeveloped yuchi & decided let’s give them more screen time & not putting them in close distance from any couple. A week later ep is enough with lots of time. I dont mind at all, I’m just saying more time after/while confession is not what i was hoping for~~ sigh~ At least I hope yuki would say sth along the lines” all this time I was looking at you, i realized i love you” to imply he was thinking of her as a lover not his kindness for someone he helped. I just dont want their love to be sudden simply cuz yuki needs happy ending. oh well~ I’m sure whatever it will be, the anime will give it utmost attention.
That sad moment when kagura wasnt allowed a moving image. lol. girl was given a still image that didnt even move with the breeze! T_T
Not gonna lie... the scene with kazuma & kyo was underwhelming. Why the wide shot? I mean you dont need budget for that. Just give me a closeup from the waist up with kyo head buried in kazuma’s chest. Dont need to waste budget on kazuma’s face, either.... do the old trick of hair covering eyes & show me glittery tears~  why the awkward shot of kazma towering in his own house! how tall is this man & why cant he he fix his roof?...lol
Also, shigure, you got scars man... who can hurt shigure? akito? gotta be her. I dont think hatori scratches...lol.. Aya? nah~ too busy with Mine! yup, akito... another steamy night? could be, she’s changed as he wish now. But scratching a face is weird while..um..kissing? a quarrel? but why? I bet she wants him now & we know he wants her....
More on part 2! especially abt the curse’s lore~
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thgreatestblue · 3 years
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you're alive (in my head)
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➜ pairing: sanemi shinazugawa x gn!reader ➜ warnings: angst, mention of dead character, manga spoilers, fluff. ➜ words: 7.6k ➜ a/n: i had the idea for this fic while listening to marjorie by taylor swift. it’s such a beautiful and touching song, i definitely recommend it. this one turned out quite big but anyway, happy holidays! ➜ ao3
summary: The man looks at you again, between white lashes that were still wet from his tears. He was a broken man whose pieces you didn't know how to put it back together. A puzzle you found yourself staring at without any clue of what form it should shape. It doesn't mean you weren't going to try anyway.
I.  
The piano would always call your name at the old restaurant your parents owned. It was an old and ugly thing; battered through time, but it would make the same wonderful sounds your grandmother used to do when playing it. That’s how you learned how to play in the first place. And how the tradition of having a musician in the family kept going, much for your parents' disdain.
You worked at your parents’ restaurant as a waitress. It was a family legacy you didn't quite like; working at the old restaurant for the rest of your life was not what you had in mind while growing up. It wasnt that you didn't like cooking and talking with strangers — it was quite a pleasant interaction that you had refined throughout the years. 
However, you wanted bigger things for your life. That’s why playing piano and writing songs were something you would always look forward to when the restaurant wasn't full. At some point, people started to demand to see you play, asking when they would hear your songs again; and that was enough to put a little bit of confidence inside your very cowardly heart. 
Each time you played, slender fingers touching keys like they were made for it; it would always take you to another place, one that you didn't need to step down the stage and go back to real life. Your mother once told you and your grandmother were too alike, and even though she meant it as a bad thing, you held onto that as the best compliment you had ever received.
Tonight, you were too nervous and focused on playing a song that you had written for your long-passed grandmother; it had taken an entire month to come up with lyrics and a melody that felt just like her. After all, it was her birthday. There were so many things you wished you had said, you wished you had done. But instead of mourning, you decided to pour your feelings into a song — it’s been 5 years already, all the wounds that were open had already healed, but that didn't mean they didn't itch from time to time. 
As you sit down on the worn out bench, the floor of the improvised stage cracks under your feet. Your father had built for you after realizing that you weren't going to stop playing it, even if he put the piano outside in the rain. Your mother had convinced him, after all, you were still doing your job and the customers liked to hear live music, there was no hurt in letting you play. 
You can feel eyes on you already; there was always an expectation every time you appeared to play the piano, and you would always try to meet them. Always staying up till late, trying to come up with new lyrics, trying new sounds. Even though your life was pretty boring, you still managed to write about interesting elements; situations you could only imagine, like living a fancy life, or loving someone. 
While you arrange the papers that you had written the song on the piano’s rack — not that you needed, it was just to put your mind at ease, that you weren't going to screw this up — you take a long look at the crowd; most of them still eating and talking to each other. You knew their attention would only fall on you when you started playing. 
However, there was someone looking directly at you. You knew that face all too well by now; it was impossible to miss the hair as white as the driven snow, or the scars that crossed his face that would make many people shrink away, scared by the intimidating aura he carried with him. However, you knew it wasn't the case; his eyes — even though you didn't have the courage to stare for too long — were gentle.
The man would come to the restaurant every now and then. Your cousin who worked at the bar, would always try to talk to him, but the man would always be short and sharp; preferring paying attention to his food, and mostly to alcohol which he would drink until it was time to close.
It wasn’t something unreal, since there were a lot of people who did the same. But what made him so different was that every time someone would come closer without warming, he would snap, always on guard. It reminded you of your grandfather, that would always carry with himself a knife; after a long life battling in the countryside, he never forgot the things he saw.
You offer him a tiny smile; despite not knowing the man — not even his name — you still wanted him to feel at ease in the restaurant, everyone was more than welcomed at this tiny place that your grandfather had fought so hard to build. 
Speaking of each, was nowhere to be seen. You weren't sad that he was going to miss your first performance of the song since you two wrote it together. He was almost tired of listening to you go back and forth, memorizing until it was carved on your mind like a detailed wooden piece. Besides, you were sure he was at her grave now, making her some company on this special day. 
The man doesn’t turn away, nor return the smile, which is fine to you. At least he didn't completely ignore your presence, being the complete mystery he was, you felt lucky that he had come to watch you play. 
Taking a deep breath, your fingers flew over the keys with ease; it was almost like a second nature by now, almost as easy as breathing. It had taken you some time to learn, to understand how the structure of the piano worked and how you could turn separate notes into a song. Your grandmother was patient enough to teach you the basics; to teach the same thing over and over until you had printed on your mind like a tattoo. 
The song was quite easy to play, you chose not to do something so out of your comfort zone because you knew your emotions were going to take over once you started to sing. The lyric had you and your grandfather crying once it was finished. But he didn't seem sad  — not entirely — he smiled and hugged you, saying that wherever she was, she was proud; and you believed in his words with all your heart.
Your voice trembles in a few parts, but nothing that would mess with the entire song. It only added more intensity and weight onto your words. Most people that frequented the restaurant knew about her, so it wasn’t something coming out of the blue - they understood the feeling behind it. And you are glad that you could remember your grandmother the way she always loved: playing the piano. 
As you played the last notes, the small crowd of the restaurant applauded your performance, a sound that made your heart jump in anticipation; it was the best reward you could ever receive. You notice that some people were weeping away their tears while you bow in gratitude for their attention. 
Stepping down from the makeshift stage, your mother gives you a hug, she wasn't good with words but you knew she was pleased with the performance. Although, before you could say anything, she shoves an apron in your direction, motioning towards a table that had a couple waiting to order. You shake your head in disbelief, but takes it anyway and starts to get ready to work.
The night goes by in a blink of an eye, there were more people than you were used to. You highly suspected it was because there was a festival coming up in the city in a few weeks, and many people came to see the fireworks. You swing among the tables; dividing your attention between taking orders and thanking the compliments and praises people would throw at you as you walked by. You took each one of them and put close to your heart — they were enough, for now. 
When your father decides to close the restaurant, you're more than tired. Even though in your mind the night went by in a flash; your bones were screaming because of the constant walking and talking. It was good for business, but not for you. Your father was a proud man that didn't accept outside people working in his restaurant, so you had to endure the amount of work and hope that the next day you were fully recharged. 
The trash of the day is by the door and by the looks of it, no one is going to take it out. You glance at your cousin but he immediately shakes his head, showing that he was still cleaning the glasses from the bar. You sigh loudly, getting up from the chair you were comfortably seated in. 
Grabbing the two huge bags, you open the door with your foot. A breath of fresh air hits your face — it smells like rain and grass — it's cold against your skin. You didn't notice the rain had come and gone, too absorbed in your job to pay attention; although you were content since you liked how the earth smelled after it.
You walk to the alleway right beside the restaurant, the huge bins still wet with a few raindrops. As you throw the trash inside, something; no, someone catches your attention from the corner of your eyes.
How fast you recognized the white hair was something to worry about another time, pushing down the thoughts that were starting to rise in your mind to take a better look at him. 
The man was seated against the wall, with his arms on his knees and a bottle of alcohol still hanging from his hand. His head was dropped into his chest, and for a moment you thought he was sleeping. You feel your heart spiking up with anticipation, your hands clench and unclench, million thoughts swing around your mind but you can't hear any of them. Against your better judgement, you start to approach him, making sure your feet make enough noise to announce your arrival.
He probably sensed that you were approaching because you notice how his body jerks slightly, slowly raising his head to look up at you. And your heart sinks in your chest as you catch a glimpse of his eyes, red and watery, some tears traveling his face down his cheeks to his chin. 
“Are you okay?“ You ask out of habit, because of course he wasn't. A man with a bottle of alcohol seated against a dark alley definitely wasn't doing fine. You want to slap yourself as soon as the words come out of your mouth.
“That song…” He starts, his voice is hoarse, barely audible. As if he had screamed the entire night at the top of his lungs. “Was really beautiful.”
“Thank you,” You answer, not knowing what else to say. 
There was a growing feeling on your chest, one you couldn't ignore when seeing the man in such a miserable state. You didn't consider yourself an altruistic person, that would run to help people wherever they had a problem. In fact, your mother once said that you were a little bit too cold when outside of your comfort zone that was music. 
However, contradicting everything you thought you were, you found yourself stepping closer to the man. Since it had rained almost all night, the ground was still wet, and you could see his trousers were wet in a few spots. The place he had chosen to sit wasn't the best either, with a huge puddle right next to his feet.
And again, against your better judgment, you slowly kneel next to him. He didn't flinch nor made any movement that would be a red flag for you to step away. Rather, he looks away and stares at the bottle he was holding, lips trembling; You didn't know if it was because of the cold or because he had been crying. 
“Fuck...” He curses in a whisper, rubbing his face, a few fugitive tears falling down the prison of his eyes “...It’s been a year.”
You couldn't think of anything to say to the man. Comforting people had always been hard since there wasn't anything you could say that would make them feel better — you knew that by experience. He was clearly in pain and going through something you could only imagine. As much as you wanted to help, to offer at least some comfort, you didn’t want to prey and ask unwelcomed questions to a stranger that was in such agony.
“I wrote that song for my grandmother.” It's the first thing that comes to your mind; you heard once that sometimes, changing the subject would make the person focus on other things instead of what is causing distress to them, it was worth a shot, “Everytime I sing it’s like she’s with me.”
The man looks at you again, between white lashes that were still wet from his tears. He was a broken man whose pieces you didn't know how to put it back together. A puzzle you found yourself staring at without any clue of what form it should shape. it doesn't mean you weren't going to try anyway.
"How?" His voice breaks under the pale shine of the moon. You could see his hands trembling, an urge to hold it almost takes over your body, but you stop yourself before you could regret. Instead, you put your hand on his shoulder. 
Men are proud creatures. You knew he would probably avoid you after tonight, being seen as vulnerable was the last thing they wanted. Something you never understood why, because right now, the only thing you felt was that this man was human, that he had feelings and regrets. Most men you had the unpleasant chance to meet at the restaurant were not even half of the man in front of you. 
“Well, she taught me how to play the piano.” You say with a smile growing on your face. The memory was still fresh on your mind, one that you kept revisiting when the longing was too strong. “It’s a small part of her that I made into mine.”
He looks at you, eyes still red from the tears that dared to escape, but you pretend that you didn't see them, preferring to ignore his state for his pride. He opens his mouth to say something but falls in silence again. You still have your hand on his shoulder, and you squeeze it a little bit before getting up. Your knees were wet but it wasn't a problem.
“Sometimes, we need to fully accept that it happened in order to move on.” You say, looking in his eyes. You didn't know what he was going through, but if it was something like what you felt when your grandmother passed away, then you could say one thing or two. “It took me some time, now it’s bittersweet instead of full on bitter.”
You smile at him again, waving goodbye as you make your way back to the restaurant. You don't dare to look back as you turn the corner, but you can feel his eyes following you until you disappeared from his view.
II.
The next morning, you wake up sensing something strange. There’s a peculiar feeling settling on your stomach as you lay on your bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about the man from last night. After coming back home, it took you some time to finally get some sleep, tossing and turning around; his face still playing on your mind like your favorite song. 
Why was yesterday any different from the other times you had seen him? 
He was a common client at the restaurant; you had seen him stumbling on his feet when going home more than once. Had even exchanged a few words while filling his cup or bringing something he had ordered. Not that he had paid any attention to you, but it was small victories that you collected like seashells. 
You knew the answer, just didn't want to admit. Because you are itching to know him better since the first time you laid your eyes on him. You’re a curious brat who can’t stop interfering in others' lives. Because you had seen him vulnerable. 
You sigh loudly, rubbing your hands on your face. Fine, you could debate later why you were ceaselessly thinking about a complete stranger — who probably had a heavy amount of baggage and definitely didn't need someone looking at the content inside and making a mess of it. 
After taking a quick bath, you head over to the first floor; despite still being morning, there were a lot of things to get done before opening the restaurant again in the afternoon. You didn't completely dislike the routine, but after repeating the same thing everyday, things tend to get blurry and more often than not, boring. 
The only thing that took you out of the endless circles of cleaning and cooking was when you were seated on the piano bench; when you were allowed to travel to other places and write about whatever you wanted. However, today was an exception for the rule; your eyes instantly go wide as you watch the white haired man come through the door.  
“We are closed, didn't you see the sign?” Your mother screams from the counter next to the door. 
She has a dishcloth over her shoulder; her apron had a few stains of water and you suspected she was washing the rest of the dishes from yesterday. The man stops at the entrance, blinking a few times, mouth open midway but no sound coming from it. And you have to suppress the teasing grin that threatens to appear on your face. 
“It’s okay mother, I invited him,” You say without thinking twice. Not quite sure where the burst of courage came from. 
Both of them quickly turn their heads in your direction and stare at you. Your mother frowning in disbelief — it reminds you of the times you were still bold enough to voice your desire to become a singer, a silly dream that was erased throughout the years. The man had his mouth slightly open, the look of surprise on his face is almost comical. 
Your mother gives you a suspicious look, hesitating for a brief moment before turning around to go back to the kitchen; mumbling something under her breath between what are they thinking? and well at least their are talking with someone. You roll your eyes and decide to ignore the last part. 
Taking a better look at him in the morning light, you realize how his eyelashes were long, longer than any eyelashes you’ve ever seen; they’re pretty. But what would always hold your attention was his eyes; even though he wasn't looking at you, they were a different shade of purple, and you could stay staring at them for hours because that color was so unique.
“I…” He starts, looking anywhere but you. There’s a brief pause but you don't push the conversation, waiting for him to continue. He cleans his throat and tries again, “I wanted to apologize.”
Your brows arch in curiosity; that was the last thing you expected him to say, leaving you speechless. You didn’t understand. Well, it wasn't that you didn't completely understand what he meant by that, you were just caught by surprise. You could swear he would avoid you like the plague and pretend that nothing happened.
He runs his hand through his hair, seeming nervous with the interaction. You watch the movement, noticing how he had more scars running down his arms, and probably down his chest too. Where did he get that many? Your grandfather had one on his knee, but that was all the marks he had to remind him of the bad days in the countryside - one story that he would tell you from time to time. This man must have a lot of them if his body was covered in so many. 
“For the other night, I mean.”
“Ah,” Returning from your train of thought that often had you spacing out; you offer him a genuine smile, “You don’t need to apologize.”
“Fuck, this is embarring,” He drops his hands at his sides, clenching and unclenching his hands, “Look, I drank a lot and…”
“I said, you don’t need to apologize,” You cut him short, saving him from the embarrassment that would be telling a story he clearly didn't want to revisit; to a stranger above everything else. As much as you wanted to know, you weren't in the position to demand anything from him, “I understand.”
Because you really did. Although you dealt with your grandmother’s death in a different way, since you were still a child when everything happened, you could still remember the hurt and the grief. People deal with problems in a variety of ways, it wasn't up to you to judge. He finally looks at you, mouth opening to say something, but you wave your hand, stopping him from saying anything else
“Are you hungry?” You ask, looking at the clock. it was half past 9. There were still some hours until lunch. If he was here at this time, he probably didn't eat anything since yesterday, the man needed something on his stomach after drinking so much. “My father just finished baking some bread, come eat with me.”
And again, you don't know where the burst of courage to invite him to your house, to your table came from, but you accepted it anyway. You had always been afraid of taking the first step since your parents discouraged you every time you tried. After some time you stopped dreaming about becoming a singer, or playing for a huge crowd. However, there was something about the man that made you want to act, to do something. 
He looks surprised by the invitation, and you don’t blame him. it was a surprise for you as well. Since when did you become so bold? You would blame the curiosity that lingered every time you looked at his face; the odd feeling growing on your chest every time you thought about his beautiful purple eyes. 
“Sanemi…“ Looking away, he rubs his neck. “My name is Shinazugawa Sanemi.”
“Oh, right!“ You can help but laugh, clapping your hands together. Such a simple step that you two had totally overlooked, jumping straight to the heavy stuff, “Y/N, nice to meet you!”
You offer your hand, and after a moment of hesitation, he holds your hand and squeezes it gently. It’s a firm grip and you can feel how calloused and rough his skin truly is. You don't mind though. 
“Come,” Before Sanemi could back off and rethink the invitation; you pull him towards the kitchen, hand still holding his’ in a tight grip, “My father just took it out of the oven, it’s better when it's still hot.”
He stumbles a little over his own feet, mumbling something underneath his breath. But follows you inside nevertheless; not letting go of your hand either.
III.
When a song is created, it starts with different types of attempts; you could try changing the rhythm first. Then the words; should they rhyme? should they be separated in the chorus? It’s a long process until you reach the final piece; and it’s even a longer process to make something you’re proud of. 
It’s the same process with your relationship with Sanemi. It started with only a few words thrown on the paper, none of them making any sense together. It took you some time to figure it out, how to use those words to create something nice. 
The words would come to your mind every time he showed up at the restaurant; every time he talked to you and you could have a glimpse inside his mind. It was a tough task, to say the least. However, your heart has had a change of weather lately; rather than staying inside because of the rain; it started to go out, looking for the sun. 
Sanemi would always appear if you invited him, especially on the days when you played the piano. He had told you once that he liked to hear you playing it, and since then you tried your best to come up with more songs and more rhythms. It was almost as if an imaginary dam had been breached inside your brain, and now each night you poured your heart into the paper, there were never enough words to describe everything you wanted to say. So you played.
His presence started to become more familiar; your mother knew his name, your father did too. Even your cousin now would talk to him without receiving a death glare. It was rather amusing seeing them interact because Sanemi was still, well, Sanemi. Although he would slip every now and then, he would always come back to his feet. It was a slow progress, one that you were more than lucky to see it happening. 
You never mentioned that you were worried about his habits, what people did with their lives was up to them. However, after that night, you were always looking out for him. Talking and keeping him company when you weren't too busy with other customers. In the beginning he had told you to fuck off; but there wasn't any real threat on his voice, so of course you didn't. 
You noticed, then, that he had stopped coming back home with a bottle of alcohol; had stopped getting angry at the other customers who would  bump into him sometimes. Had a more friendly voice when talking to your cousin, and didn’t fall asleep on the counter with a glass still full. It was those small details that would make your heart warm, spring finally arriving after a long winter. 
“Did you drink tonight?” You ask, leaning over the counter. He was the last client for the night. 
The restaurant was closing; what once was relief, now would leave you feeling gloomy because you had to say goodbye to your favorite person. You never knew when Sanemi would come back. He never told you exactly what his job was; or where he worked. So you had only blank spaces that you had to fill in with your own imagination. You were up for the challenge, anyway.
“No,” He smiles at you, a sight you could never get tired of. Sanemi had a different type of beauty; it was endearing to watch. “I decided to stop.”
You can help but open a huge smile after hearing that, “That’s good news!” 
It was the little details that transformed him into someone special; not only his beauty was captivating but the way he carried himself, tall and strong. You liked to hear whatever he had to say because it was always interesting. It wasn't half assed excuses or lies most people — most men — would tell you on a daily basis. 
There was something else about him; about his scars; about his mysterious past that you felt drawn to, like a fly is drawn to the light. You could only hope one day you would be able to sail on those mysterious waters without sinking after the first storm. 
“Well, it’s time to close...” An idea crosses your mind, and like everything you have been doing lately, you don't give a second thought, you don't hesitate. It flows out of your mouth as easily as breathing “But why don’t you come sit with me before you go?”
Sanemi raises a brow at you, and you laugh at his hesitation. Without wasting any more time, you grab his muscular arm and pull him off of the bar stool, heading to the stage. You often find yourself taking the first step yet again; it was rare the times where he would seek out for you. In the beginning, it would make you second doubt everything you said or did, worrying that he didn't like you. 
However, it wasn't that he didn't like you, he just didn't know what to do; because everytime you pulled him to do something or talked to him, he would gladly follow, never complaining — unless you asked him to help clean the restaurant, that he would complain, a lot.
“Have you ever played piano before?” The floor of the stage creaks under your steps, not used to have more than one person standing over it. You sit down on the bench, tapping the small space beside you. It was tight, but it would work. 
“No…” Sanemi stands behind the bench with his arms crossed over his chest, still unsure about what you were doing. You angrily tap the space beside you as a warning. 
He lets out a loud sigh before coming to sit next to you - you knew he only did that to appear tough; it was too easy to see that he wasn't really annoyed. Sitting by your side, his thigh completely touching yours sends a shiver down your spine; instantly coloring red your cheeks, and you have to shut down the thoughts that were starting to rise in the back of your mind. 
“My grandmother used to say that sometimes music is even more powerful than words,” You say, fingers hovering over the keys. If there was one thing that you would never stop talking about it, it was her. Somehow it felt like she was still alive, remembering her so tenderly. “She would just play away her thoughts and feelings, it was fascinating to watch.”
When Sanemi looks at you, there's a strange fog in his eyes, clouding his view; as if the weather had closed and it was about to rain. It stirs something inside you, an odd feeling that you knew all too well. Sometimes you would catch him staring at nothing, with the same clouded stare. 
You knew that something had happened in the past and he was still grieving over it, not only he had told you that night, but every time you talked about your grandmother he would react the same way. You could only hope that your company was enough to distract him from those feelings. 
“Why don’t you give it a try?” You offer, showing him the keyboard, for now this would have to be enough. 
“Me?” His voice has a hint of hesitance. You nod, encouraging him with a smile and a tap on his shoulder.  
He looks at you, to the piano, then to you again. It was amusing to watch, a grown up man afraid of touching simple keys. Although, to be very honest, when you started playing you would feel completely intimidated with the size and the sounds it would make. But what was most intimidating was the amount of work you had to put to actually learn how to play by yourself. It took you some years to finally overcome that fear of failure before jumping head first. 
He touches one key, but there’s almost no sound coming from it since he didn't put too much force on it; when you hesitate to touch the keys is when you first start to fail. He tries again, but this time, his finger slips and touches another key, the combination has you two flinching. You bite your lips as he continues to touch random keys; making a rather interesting combination. 
“You’re laughing.” 
“I’m not laughing.”
Sanemi sighs and retreats his hand, looking defeated, “I’m not made for this shit.”
“Oh shut up, here.” 
You gently hold his hand; skin warm under your touch. He doesn't complain about your boldness, so you keep going, putting his hand over the keyboard again, lightly tapping his index finger over a key so he would play the note. It’s a slow process, having to move at a pace that would allow the movement, but the opportunity of holding his hand is worth every minute. In the end, you two played the beginning of an easy song.
“See, it’s not that hard,” You say, letting go of his hand. “It’s all about feeling it.” Your face is warm for some reason. And Sanemi is still staring at the piano, and you could swear that his ears are a little bit red. 
“I’m shit at feelings,” He confesses, rubbing his neck. 
Well, you couldn't argue with that. He definitely semeed like someone who would rather show than say, but that’s the beauty in people right? Learning with mistakes, growing with the years as you grasp the nuances of reality and the world around you. 
“We all have to start from somewhere, right?” You smile at him, bumping his shoulder. 
Sanemi laughs, and doesn't miss the opportunity to bump your shoulder slightly harder, making you almost fall off the bench. He laughs even harder when you try to push him off but don't get even close to move a single inch of his body. However, you wouldn't give up so easily.
The small fight ends when Sanemi accidentally hits his elbow on the keyboard, making a loud noise that has you two jumping and your mother appearing from the kitchen yelling that it's already too late. The smirk on his face doesn't go away though. 
IV.
The festival was even prettier this year. The paper lamps shining on top of the buildings give an ethereal feeling to the scenario; the sakura’s trees were adorned with ribbons of all colors, petals flying around in a beautiful dance while the night was captured by the anticipation for the fireworks. However, that wasn't the only reason. 
Seated next to you, was Sanemi. His hair reflecting the colored lights from the lamps only made him radiate beauty; they danced across the white canvas. His face looked so peaceful, there was not a single wrinkle on his forehead as he ate the food you had prepared for the night. For a moment you forgot he was really there with you. It all seemed part of a dream, but not even your dreams could come up with such a dazzling view. 
To say that you were surprised when he invited you to come with him to the festival, was an understatement. It took you so long to process the information that he thought you had denied; and it was almost a battle to make him believe that yes, you really wanted to go with him, and no, you only hesitated because you were caught off guard. Truth be told, a few days had passed and you still couldn't believe. Not even now, when you were looking at him from the corner of your eyes. 
It also took you long hours of begging and whining for him to tell you that his favorite food was ohagi. You couldn't believe how silly he acted when he told you; almost as a kid, stomping his feet and all. You tried your best not to laugh, but failed miserably, which only made him even more embarrassed. When he left, you had your hair all messy but the smile on your face didn't disappear for the rest of the night.
You had prepared everything in anticipation, counting the days and hours to this moment. Your father gave you a day off only for this occasion — he would never admit, but after the white haired man had helped fix a few things in the restaurant, lending a hand whenever they needed, he came to like Sanemi. 
Your mother happily helped you prepare the ohagi and a few other things for the festival. Even suggested buying new clothes for you, which you denied. It wasn't a date, at least he didn't say it was. You were only keeping him company, right? Oh hell, who were you trying to fool? You wanted this to be a date so bad. 
The spot Sanemi chose was near the lake. As you looked around you noticed that there were reflections of the lamps on the water; like an infinite mirror, you could find stars in the sky or down there on earth, even in Sanemi's eyes. An infinity of beauty surrendering you, bouncing around like shooting stars; all you could do was close your eyes and make a wish. 
“I don't know, just…” You trailed off, thinking about his question, “You only die when you are forgotten, memories can keep you alive throughout the decades, don't you think?”
“You sound awfully like someone I know.” He throws his head back with a smirk on his face, drinking the sake.
He had promised it was only because of the festival, just for fun. And you didn't need him to promise that he wasn't drinking anymore, because you believed. You trusted him enough to know that he knew what he was doing. Also, you had seen his journey, there was no need to be reassured when you knew by heart. 
“Hmm, I bet they are wise and smart!” The sake tastes strong on your mouth, but you didn't mind. It wasn't often that you drank, but the feeling was nice and very welcomed.
“No, actually he’s a really annoying brat,” Sanemi chuckles, “But you aren't annoying.” He confesses, and if it wasn't too dark you could see a hint of red on his cheeks. 
“But am i still a brat?” You raise a brow at his direction. The smirk on his face tells you everything.
“Don't you dare finish that sentence or else there's no ohagi for you anymore.” You try narrowing your eyes as a threat, but the tiny smile tugging on the corner of your lips is enough to give you away. 
Sanemi’s smirk is still visible even in the low light, it has become a trademark of him by now, the curl on the corner of his lips, the chuckles that would follow after. And you would take notes of each of his mannerisms, remember every word, pay attention to what he liked and mostly what made him angry. Even if he wasn't someone that talked about himself in general, you had your own way to find out about him.
He picks another ohagi, and you watch him as he takes a bite, humming in delight. It makes your heart warm, your skills with cooking finally paying off for something else rather than just for the restaurant. Watching him eat your food and liking it hits you differently than anything else. You take another sip of sake, the drink burning a little as it goes down your throat is a welcomed feeling. 
“Genya,” Sanemi suddenly says. You look at him confused; the smirk long gone, replaced by the same melancholy look that would everytime cloud his eyes, “It was my little brother’s name.” He explains.
You look down at your hands holding the cup, contemplating. It was the first time Sanemi ever spoke about his family, his past. Even knowing him for quite some time now, even after becoming his friend, building a relationship with him from scratch and turning into something you can’t see yourself without it; his past was never brought up. Moreover, you truly believe he was a good man, there was no need to open old wounds only to satisfy your curiosity. 
“You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to,” You immediately ensure him, touching his shoulder. 
The last thing you wanted was him feeling like he owed you an explanation. Yes, you wanted to know, of course you did. Because you wanted to help, pick his pieces and put them back together, Sanemi wasn't a broken man, not entirely - he still had a bright and beautiful light inside him, it was only obscured with a few debris, leftover of a hurricane that he never recovered from. 
“It’s fine…” He’s gazing at the lake, mind elsewhere, far from reality, “I feel like I’ve been mourning for so long that I can't think about anything else.”
It breaks your heart seeing him like this, even harder than the night when you found him crying in the alleway. Because now you knew him, his name, his personality, his favorite food. Because now you held him so close to your heart that you were afraid of crushing it. Because you cared, more than anything. 
“But that’s why we struggle. It never goes away,” Your hand shifts from his shoulder, running down his back, caressing with small movements. Almost embracing him with one arm. “It only gets easier.” 
Sanemi goes quiet after that, closing his eyes. But you keep rubbing his back, face so close to his that you could see the difference of the skin that healed and formed his scars; the texture is rougher in contrast with the rest of his face. 
“Were you there? When it happened?” You find yourself asking. There are sirens going off in your head. Yet, you can’t stop. It’s an intense feeling of yearning. If you could only understand, just a little bit; having a glimpse of what the man was so hurt by it, then maybe you could help put his former self back together. That’s all you wanted. 
“Yes,” His voice breaks a little, words caught on his throat. He squeezes his eyes, closing his hands in a fist. However, he doesn't flinch nor say anything. So, instead of retreating, you put your other hand on his arm, the other still gently caressing his back. 
“He… He said I was the sweetest person in the world,” He whispers, placing his hand over yours, “Shit, I wasn’t even a good brother, I treated him badly, I pushed him away. I don’t deserve his words.”
“But he forgave you in the end,” You quickly say before he would go down on a spiraling hate towards himself, words flooding your mouth before you could stop, “He could have said anything, and he chose to let you know that you were still loved by him, even after everything.” 
You didn't know what everything actually meant, there were still so many blank spaces that needed to be filled for you to fully understand the man beside you. However, you knew one thing: blaming yourself was so much easier than forgiving. 
“Fuck… I don’t,” He tries, the grip in your hand a little bit too tight, but you don't pay any attention. All your focus was on his expression, his words, “I wanted him to be happy, to get married and have a family. And now…”
“Sanemi…” The look on his face is devastating, defeated. 
He had probably held all these emotions for so long, all these words of regret and shame, kept inside his heart and let it loose on his mind; torturously haunting him at each step he took. Now you understood why he had resorted to alcohol. The pain in his words touches your heart, making it quiver under it. 
“Please, don't blame yourself. We can't choose which path people are going to take, it’s out of our hands.”
Silence falls between you two, but it isn't uncomfortable. And you are more than happy to sit there and hold him close, trying your best to show through actions how much you cared about him. If your words couldn't do the job, at least you hoped your touch was reassuring him. At least, it worked for you — every time your grandfather patted your head was enough to remember to keep going, even when the longing was too much. 
“You deserve to be happy, Sanemi,” There were so many things you wanted to say, but you couldn't find the right words, “Your brother wouldn’t want any less, right?”
You hold his calloused hands in your small ones, slender fingers touching and tracing his scars, feeling the roughness of it. Since the first time you saw him, It had awakened something inside you; something about his hands, arms, his chest, his face, drawn with a pattern that made him so fascinating and interesting, traced with stories of pain and joy; a map that you couldn't help but want to explore every inch of it. 
“This world is cold and we are desperately fighting to be heard, to be seen.” Because it was the truth. Every day when you open your eyes; every day when you close them; each day is a small battle you need to live through. “Being alone in a place like this it’s just cruel.”
You don't know what possessed you at the moment, but when you realized, your lips had touched his skin, planting a gentle kiss, overflowed with affection, on his fingers. 
“That’s why I’ll be here for you, whenever you need me.”
The first firework explodes behind Sanemi, lighting him in an endearing aura that takes your breath away. Although, you can’t hear them; your heartbeat is even louder in your ears. His face is so close to yours that you can feel his warm breath against your skin. His hand comes to rest on your chin, squeezing slightly. He tilts your head in his direction and you close your eyes. 
Then, he kisses you.
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I’m gonna premise this with the fact that overall, I gave Shang-Chi a 7/10 (higher than Captain Marvel, same as Ant Man and the Wasp).
Here we go. Aggressively unpopular opinion time. I think. This might be a little jumbled.
Shang-chi has two tropes that I abhor.
The first is that of the abusive father receiving redemption through sacrifice, and ultimately not being considered all that bad of a guy because Trauma™️ and Grief™️
The second is the whole “man who is canonically a tyrant and mass murderer - even if tonally the story doesn’t depict him as such - comes to destroy another Good Place but Falls In Love, and the woman falls in love with him too, abandons her home and all her mystical powers just to fix him, is fridged by the plot, and as such her supposedly Good husband returns to being a tyrant and a murderer because really the only thing stopping him being one was her” which of course dovetails nicely into the first trope mentioned
There’s a lot to like about the film, but overall it’s a film where Things Just Happen, and there’s no real depth given to the family drama that the film insists is at the heart of the story (which it then yk ignores in place of a CGI fight at the end). The sisters arc is rectified not ten minutes after it’s mentioned. The mother earns no personal backstory outside of exposition, and even her final fight is not shown to us. The aunt is introduced at the end of the movie and the training montage does nothing more than establish that, yes, Shang-chi has now witnessed with his own eyes magical fighting styles. It’s offers little to no depth to the world building. There’s no intention behind it, the audience is relied upon to just assume so much about the world we’re looking at.
It’s a shallow one.
I could go into a far more explanatory and in-depth analysis about my misgivings with this film (and even the word misgivings is a step too far, because I enjoyed the movie I did.) thing is I believe it’s a film that has earned the right to be seriously critiqued. It deserves that respect, not just blind unadulterated praise. And the stuff that’s wrong with it begin and end with the fact that the film didn’t have much of a narrative focus. Both of the tropes that irked me are easily rectified with more focus on the central family drama - maybe the dad gets a sacrificial moment, but it would be earned w/ more screen time detailing the merits of the character. Maybe he WASNT a tyrant, maybe Shang-chi was an unreliable narrator. Maybe he didn’t go BAD bad when his wife died.
Maybe his wife wasn’t all that good herself. After all, she chose to marry a man who’d murdered, butchered, colonised thousands. Maybe she was morally grey. Maybe she was strict on him in ways she couldn’t tell her kids when talking about their love story.
I thought her final fight was gonna be shown to us through Shang-chi’s fight w/ his father, since he watched it all through the crack in the door. That he’d mimic her, and the scenes would be cut together to show just how much of him was like her.
That arc for the sister shouldn’t have been resolved so early (and then cheaply re-resolved during the fight, it had lost its impact then, and we hadn’t spent the majority of the film watching the siblings struggle).
The only consistent relationship was with Katy. Which I liked! But so many things that could’ve been left for sequels got resolved... here. And part of me wonders if the writers were afraid they wouldn’t get the chance to write a sequel.
It’s truly a shame, because they were blessed with a perfect cast. Absolutely perfect, right down to the token white guy.
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oloreaa · 3 years
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2020 WRAP UP!
Okay here we are!! Hopefully I have not missed anyone because I truly dont mean to "snub" anyone, so here is a list of people who I feel very thankful for knowing this year, where I started out on tumblr, you have been truly bright presences and I love you very very much.
First off here are some people I don't know very well (or at all, but I admire their work) but I think have excellent vibes and I would love to get to know better/let them know that I appreciate them very very much:
@maxlordd @ollypopp @opheliaelysia @honeymandos @concussed-to-pieces @pikemoreno @huliabitch @mitchi-c @hansoulo @browneyes-djarin @cinewhore @max--phillips @din-damn-djarin @ezrasarm @dishonouringmycow @keeper0fthestars @dadolorian @dindjarindiaries @cobbvader @leo-moon @justrunamok @frannyzooey @miranhas-art @keethus-arts @hdlynn @zeldasayer @qveenbvtch @softpedropascal @marvel-and-mischief @datmando @stubbychaos @di-kut @themangolorian @vercopaanir @mcfreakin-bxtch
and so, so many more that I cannot think of right now (and tumblr doesnt let me tag more than 50 people)
And for those I know a bit better, under the cut❤:
@binggrae-banana-milk : You're the first person I really talked to on tumblr, and I cherish every single one of our interactions so much. The one time where we had watched Revenge of the Sith together and had a full on BLAST, it was incredibly fun and every time we just kind of scream at each other in dms it's so funny, how we both are freaking out simultaneously!! Also before you I never really keysmashed and now it's a part of my vocabulary lmao, ily!!!
@mndalorians : Cass. Oh, my dear Cass. Listen, you have brightened up my year by SO MUCH. I don't even want to know how many tens of thousands of words our chat consists of dhdhdh, from discovering cultural differences with each other, to yelling about the same stuff, to planning fics and telling each other of our ideas. We share a brain cell and we are literally the embodiment of Zwei Dumme, ein Gedanke. If I'm glad for anything in this year, it's starting to talk to you. You're literally one of my closest friends and I never hesitate in hitting you up, from absolute crack to heartbreak, you have the range, darling. I love you so much, you don't even know❤
@agirllovespancakes : Iris baby, oh my god. I don't even know where to start. The way how we just started talking without even KNOWING how we started talking is the funniest thing, EVER. This friendship came out of fucking NOWHERE and I am so glad for this. I can always count of you to stand by my side in so many things, and you're the other chaotic one in Tender Roasting, I adore you. The way we just go "kskssksks" and "dhddhdhdhd" at each other for literally hours because we are just losing it over each other is amazing. Ich hab dich so lieb!!!
@adikaofmandalore : Holy shit, Adi, the only thing I can think of now is that you literally deserve everything good and sweet in this world. You're one of the kindest souls on here, and I've never met anyone who is as sweet as you. I don't even know how you are real. Everytime we talk I'm literally smiling so bright, your enthusiasm for Ven is unparalleled and the way we just go bonkers at each other with ideas?? You're so supportive?? And your razor sharp wit and sarcasm is AMAZING to witness in action. Your writing is incredible and incredibly underrated and your stubbornness is admirable. You manage to power though Everything and that's so impressive. I love you very much!!!
@teaofpeach : lee babe DAMN I've never met anyone who is as funny as you. Like whenever we are talking it's just, it ends with me cackling and having the biggest smile on my face because you made me laugh so much. Such a bright presence on my dash and your TAGS are always sending me. So witty and smart and your vocabulary is unparalleled. Filthy hoe but I love you for it. You taught me so much tumblr lingo just by texting me and I always feel Educated afterwards dhdhdhd I love you so much and I trust you with every single one of my attempts at Spiciness
@mandolovian : DEV BABY my love from tomorrow🥺🥺 the time difference of HELL had never stopped us from being hoe af in the dms lmao, I vividly remember one of our first convos spiralling into thots SO FUCKING FAST that was the funniest shit ever. It's always fascinating to see what you do on the other side of the planet and I admire you so much. Like, you TRULY have big brain. How do you remember so much??? Like all these conditions and facts and like WOAH I just feel like a plankton next to you💀💀💀💀 ily SO MUCH
@goldafterglow : iris babe omg okay first of all you're the prettiest bitch I've ever seen, such a nice presence overall, you have GALAXY BRAIN, your writing style is so smooth and full of descriptions that are so amazing to read, like its. Amazing. You have unfortunately witnessed several times where I typed faster than my brain would proceed and I ended up saying the DUMBEST shit and you make fun of me because of it. Like bro I dont even mind bc any interaction with you is worth it🥺🥺🥺🥺
@chibi-liz05 : Liz oh my gosh I just love you so much. We don't talk as frequently anymore but you just have a place in my heart, you're incredibly supportive of everything and you're always there for me, no matter for what, offering thoughts and conversation about everything. You're such an absolute sweetheart and a sunshine person and I just adore your positive attitude and the way you talk, you're literally the sweetest. I love you very very much and consider this me giving you the biggest forehead kiss
@pisss-offf-ghostt : you're one of the first ones who read my fics when I first started out, and your continued support for everything I write is absolutely AMAZING. Like I enjoy every single one of our conversations and discussions, and I feel completely safe to hit you up for anything, no matter what. You're an incredibly kind and hardworking person and your heart is just so big, I cannot even comprehend it. It's amazing how much you care, how you interact with people on here, and I care for you SO MUCH. Love you🥺❤❤
@maybege : you're literally the KINDEST PERSON around?? And we are weirdly connected through cosmic forces whenever it has something to do about Lebkuchenherzen lmao, its uncanny. We have started out in fics in such a similar way it still makes me chuckle, like we experienced the same amount of cringe lmaooo, and now you're just here, blessing us every day with your amazing content, being the most organised person I know, and just an absolute SWEETHEART. everytime we write I have such a big smile on my face, and you BET we would have found each other irl if it wasnt for Corona🤡🤡
@kiwi-the-first : oh kiwi you're such a nice and thoughtful person, whenever I feel down youre the first one to send asks and nice messages and cute photos to make me smile and that is absolutely adorable of you🥺🥺 you're such a vocal and passionate character and its absolutely amazing to see you in action, how you go all caps screaming in the dms. You have a special part in my heart and its just so nice to be able to talk to you
@corvueros : MEG we are literally sharing one (1) brain cell and they are oscillating between "horny", "yelling at each other in all caps" and "oh my god that's such a good idea" 💀💀💀 whenever we talk I have the biggest smile on my face and I absolutely ADORE you, you're the absolute best. Such a sweet and thoughtful and excited person who can spew the filthiest thots in a manner of 0.1 seconds. You're such a bright person and I could not imagine not being able to talk to you bc you're so supportive and just the literal BEST, I LOVE YOU BITCH, I AM NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH
@blacksquadron-rougetwo : okay Hailee you have absolutely excellent vibes. Like you're always so bright and sunshiny and just so damn fucking gorgeous I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU. Filthy and tender at the same time, the QUEEN of soft horny fics like woah, and the way you talk is just so wonderful to witness. Your reaction pics are always on point and no matter what the topic is our convos always end up in all caps screaming at each other how unfairly hot the character of the week is lmao. You're such a sweet being and I am grateful for you!!
@over300books : holy shit Estela I have not known you well for a long time but you're such an incredibly supportive person with the funniest of commentary, everything you write makes me smile, ESPECIALLY all those comments in the docs!! I completely trust you with all the writings I manage to finish and everytime you help me with it you make me see my work with new eyes. You're just so damn amazing and sweet and super cheery I just love you so much. I am so grateful that we are friends and I am SO PROUD of you for finishing your degree!! Like girl WHOOOO!!!
@anxiety-riddled-mando : listen not only are you an absolutely fantastic writer, you're such an amazing person and someone who just screams "safe" at me. Like I completely trust you with my thoughts and even if we are not talking directly very often (our communication is more reblogging and telling each other in the tags how much we love them lmao) I just absolutely adore you and I just am so incredibly thankful that we stumbled across each other!!! You're such a bright presence on tumblr and every single one of your works is so incredibly amazing!!
Aaaand that's a wrap!! Thank you so much for making my year brighter, I love every single one of you so so so so so much. Happy new years!!
Love, Rea
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digitalvoidheart · 3 years
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A Pixelated New Moon
This is a random idea I came up when extremely down in the dumps and also wanted to try writing angst for the first time... (also new moon is a moon completely shadowed soit's basically something in the oneshot)
Also, this is a random au I made up where everyone's life is in a multiplayer game. I know not very original but pls enjoy!
Players/Characters:
♠ Moon (passive nightmare)
♠Nightmare (corrupted nm and a separate being)
♠Horror
♠Killer
♠Dust
♠Cross
Moon knew his team was unstoppable and was proud of it.
Horror, even with that cracked skull from a false 1v1 (his opponent had an accomplice hidden for a sneak attack, Horror came out victorious eventually), his agility is unaffected and he can pack a punch with his attacks.
He may say that he lacks in the defense department but when it comes to combat, he usually attacks when the team is surrounded, creating a soundwave-like attack with his bone weapon constructs, giving him the title of the team's main offence.
Next comes Dust. He's a mysterious one if Moon had to be honest. Not only did he refuse to narrate his backstory or history of his previous teams, but his level on all skills seemed to be on par. No one knows what he specializes in wether it is defense, healing or combat because he has activated his hidden card. A special item which hides the stats of the player. An expensive item but with the high level he's in, it's possible for him to own one.
He could protect the team in one second, heal Horror the next and attacking side by side with Nightmare on the next, all mid battle. Moon found it very impressive.
Another dangerous member is Killer. He may not have the same knockout attacks as Horror, nor the magic abilities like Dust, but he makes up the team by his traitorous speed. His slump posture may make it seem he's lazy but he's far from that.
He could land a good amount of slashes onto his opponent in the least amount of time, immobilizing them temporarily sometimes. He doesn't fear much, proven by the wide cocky grin plastered on at all times and the fact that he chooses close range attacks while his target shaped SOUL was always within the enemy's grasp? Deliciously terrifying.
Lastly, Nightmare. The leader of the team, one who plans ahead, always knowing way the opponents are thinking. He has the highest level compared to everyone under his wing, the aforementioned trio having a small reduction to reach his level, and Moon a LARGE one.
He didn't even know why he was needed in the team. Horror's attack, Dust's magic and Killer's speed made up the perfect balance of a team. His constant request for why they need him always went unanswered by Night. He can't even leave without Nightmare's consent, that being the rules of the life-or-death game they play. Any player who wishes to leave their team has to have their removal granted by the team leader. His permission for leaving went deaf as his questions.
The trio always had their answers on them for him, albeit it's a little untrue.
"Need ya for...shieldin' me. Got low defense, r'member?" You don't need me. You've got Dust.
Dust's minute responses were similar "You're useful..." No Dust, I'm just a burden. You don't need to heal me midbattle either. Use it for Nightmare or Horror instead.
"Pretty sure 'cuz you hold up a shield better than any of us" Funny, Killer. And I'm at least another 25 levels below you guys...
He's pretty sure no one knows of his secret to try up his levels, so that's out of the options. Everyone has their share of G, albeit higher than his for earning more EXP than him for being on the offense. So why do they want him if it isn't money or battle?
His answers come to him when they enter the next quest. The blue screen appearing before each of them reading :
-
Welcome to level XX!
Here, you will be separated into two groups. Team one with any number of players will be challenged with X number of quests through the white gate while team two with one player will pass through the abyss through the black gate.
Choose wisely!
-
Oh... A sacrifice.
"I'll go" Moon smiled even when the heavy words sent a metaphorical spear to his SOUL. He can do this. It's for the team. He might not know what the quest in the abyss is but no one's returned once entering the abyss r-right? They needed him so they could pass this level. So why did it hurt to line the facts together?
"No." Nightmare deadpanned, his decision locked with no room for argument. "We'll rest up at the checkpoint and discuss who to go where tomorrow."
What? I-I'm not th- a sacrifice?
Moon's voice failed him from the assertiveness of his leader. And like that, he was lead to the previous checkpoint where they discussed at the inn for whom to go, and honestly? Moon wasn't listening at all.
This could be his chance to detach his leeching body from their assets and give them a higher chance of success! Maybe they can even find a better player with a higher level than himself to benefit the guys more. But why do they need to discuss who to go when the answer was right in front of them?
While Nightmare and the others planned for who to go, Moon made his own plan to carry out during their slumber. As the moment arrived at midnight, he slipped out to carry a few errands quests the inn offered for G and his own personal plans.
He won't let their efforts go to waste. Not when he was around.
***
The next day, the team of five made their way back to gates of the next level.
Moon spared a glance at Nightmare to see him nod at the trio. As one of them stepped closer to the black portal. It was Killer. A valuable and speedy asset to the team.
Moon let out a sigh and exhaled his message to them.
"I'm sorry"
Killer was pulled away with blue magic as his purple cloaked companion whisked past his fallen figure and into the abyss. The portal closed before any of them had time to figure out what had happened.
---
The rumours were false. The Abyss wasn't heavy. Sure, it was dark but you could still see yourself in a white outline only. And apparently, he wasn't the only one.
He watched as players teleport into the Void, some calm, others screaming and shouting for someone (probably they were betrayed by their own team) before they all are faced with a monochromatic screen. Upon his distraction, he didn't notice the exact replica of the screen in front of him as well.
-
Welcome to the abyss!
This is a test of patience and trust for your team. You will watch as your team completes their quests and at the end, choose your fate
-
It didn't say much but the pixelated screen then glitched, showing a live view of his team. They look upset and unhappy, except Nightmare.
He looked furious. If he wasn't mad with Moon before, he was now. Maybe he might allow him to leave the team. That is if he can leave the abyss in the first place.
Looking back, he noticed the distraught player a small distance away from him as they tapped on their screen.
He watched, wide-eyed as they disintegrated into pixels. Like monster dust. Death...
Although, he was quickly distracted by another monster watching through his screen.
A skeleton monster they were. The same outline white around him didn't tell the colours the monster possessed but his right eye light and lightning-bolt scar on his right cheek were red. Does that mean eyelights remain their colour?
Getting a response from the new guy was difficult. He refused to speak.
After multiple attempts Moon sighed "Could I get your name at least?" More silence from the skeleton and Moon gave up.
"It's Cross"
His head shot back at the red eyed skeleton. Before he decided to shut up himself and watch his team.
He turned in time to see Horror summon a shield himself to protect Dust from an attack. So it was a fluke. The incapability to defend himself...
"I knew it..." he said to no one but Cross turned to his direction from the screen. "They really didn't need me. It was all a lie..." tears welled up in his sockets, blurring the view of his team effectively.
"B-but why did they wanna keep me if i wasnt for a sacrifice?" He croaked. He watched as Nighmare and the guys cleared the stage in a blur.
Another thing he was. A deadweight.
Completely forgetting that he was crying near a complete stranger, he swiftly wiped his tears and residual magic from his face. He pulled up his cloak's cowl only to hear Cross speak once more.
"You're their anchor." Moon turned to Cross.
"W-what?" What did he mean by anchor?
"Having high levels means you are more likely to loose control of your mind, resulting in messes you never intended on happening. "
Eyes never leaving the team, he continued, "You were basically kept so that they have a distraction from overdoing things. Like that grey hooded guy," he pointed at Dust "he seems to keep healing the guy with a cracked skull mid battle to avoid losing his sanity from his bottomless well of magic"
Moon looked at Dust, then averted his gaze to his feet in shame.
Cross explained how the others may have benefited from him and Moon took it all in.
And even if it seemed like minutes, Moon felt like he'd been talking with him for hours and have been friends for longer.
He didn't want to leave Cross. He could take him with and show him to the team. Maybe they will accept him and-
Ping!
Moon looked up to see hi- Nightmare's team has passed through all quests and now are waiting in front of a transporter. The screen glitched once, twice before turning back to the message screen. This time, it displayed a volume symbol and a female voice spoke.
"Player Moon, your team has successfully passed through level XX. You have an option to go back to your team which costs 78000 G, or stay in the void till you disintegrate. Choose wisely on what will benefit your team."
W-what? Already? He can go back! He has enough G for three tickets from scraping all the G from his secret task job in checkpoints! He can redeem himself, apologise to Nightmare and-
"Congratulations" Cross' voice pierced through his thoughts. He was smiling, but Moon knew better.
"Come with me" he demanded.
"That's against the rules, little Moon" Cross countered. He looked over Moon's shoulder at the screen, which had apparently heard him, giving a robotic 'affirmative'. "Besides, I don't have a team to go back to nor the G to buy myself out"
Moon's eyelights began wavering as he paced. Looking at his options, he only had three.
He took deep breaths to calm himself from the edge of panic. Opening his eyes, he looked at Cross.
He was hiding sadness behind a stoic mask, wanting to be strong with Moon returning safe to his team. It crushed his Soul to know that the determination in it was slowly burning out to a flickering flame.
Cross' stats were a considerably good amount, higher than Moon's obviously. His understanding and calm during a panicked situation is admirable.
But if only one of them can leave...
Who should?
☆********☆
I'll do 3 endings after my exams so look forward to it!
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Btw to all angst writers... HOW TF DO YOU DO IT WITHOUT HAVING TO BE SAD?!!! I was only able to write this cuz I was sad. :(
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