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#i was trying to decorate my new living space without it feeling as childish as my current room
ruins-in-vanity · 3 years
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ive realized i can be dramatic as i like and no one can stop me, therefore i will by buying green velvet curtains thank you and good night
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Imagine being Azula’s favourite friend who she recruits first. The two of you have always had an unspoken attraction which neither of you were brave enough to acknoweldge...until you save her life and Azula decides to reward you
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Background
You and Azula attended the academy together and had initially started as rivals. You were an above-average fire bender and because she didn’t know you Azula saw that as a threat. So she made it her mission to ruin your life when one day she found you arguing with Zuko. You didn’t hesitate to yell at him or point out his faults and from that moment on Azula knew she’d misjudged you. Azula be-friended you and you became a part of her group. Over time you became her favourite. She trusted you and could feel your loyalty to her, which was something she grew to respect more and more as Mai was compromised by Zuko and Ty lee became even more whimsical. You soon became inseparable and as the friendship grew it began to feel like more...you realised you liked Azula as more than a friend. You enjoyed every second you spent together and thought she felt the same. The tension between you grew and although Azula would grow flustered around you when you flirted with her she never reciprocated your feelings openly. You were heartbroken but understood that falling for the princess of the fire nation hadn’t been a very smart decision on your part. So needing some space to mend as soon as you graduated from the academy you joined the army. It hurt to be around Azula every day and to know you could be something great together if only your nation was more progressive. So you ran away from the situation and didn’t see Azula for years. You managed to stop thinking about her constantly after a few weeks and soon your heart didn’t feel as broken anymore...but you knew deep down you still cared about her. The princess would always be your first love. 
Your POV
The army was tougher than the fire nation academy for many reasons. For one your name, reputation and grades didn’t matter once you passed through the doors. They didn’t care if you'd sparred with the best fire benders or got the highest grades in combat skills for ten years, you were reduced to a number and treated as one. You hated every second of it but the alternative was to return to your family and you’d take anything over that so you stuck it out. 
One day all the recruits were ordered to wear their best clothes and report to the large training hall which could only mean one thing. Someone wanted to buy troops. High ranking generals or rich businessmen could hire trainees for missions or any jobs they needed completing. The buyer could choose who they wanted after watching you all in training and you would then decide if to accept or not. You took every opportunity you could and so stared straight ahead for inspection, trying your best to look hirable when a voice broke your resolve. "I’m looking for something in particular" Azula told your trainer and you only just managed to keep your head forward but a small smirk broke out on your face. Azula spotted you and walked down the line slowly before stopping in front of you. "Well, well who do we have here?" she asked. You looked up at her and matched her smile "long time no see huh?". Your trainer was horrified at the way you addressed the princess and rushed to yell at you when Azula cut him off with a laugh. She took your arm and you hugged her tightly. Your stomach exploded in butterflies and you clutched her tightly, you’d missed Azula dearly. "Your highness i don’t know what...i’m sorry for this one’s behaviour" the trainer started obliviously and Azula rolled her eyes "are they all as dumb as you? Obviously i know y/n". You smirked and Azula was spurred on by that beautiful expression she’d missed. "You really have no idea who she is?" Azula asked laughing "this is y/n l/n, her father is friends with my father and she is a personal friend to the royal family. To hear you haven’t treated her appropriately is very displeasing" Azula frowned and you smiled as your usually cruel and horrible trainer shook. "I’m sorry we had no idea who she was! We will treat her better, promote her actually" he babbled. "No that won’t do" Azula said "and that wont be necessary, y/n will be leaving with me for a job and won’t be coming back here". The guard hesitated "i...you can’t just take a recruit". "I’m not but i could" Azula growled "i think you’ll find it’s more y/n quits". "She can’t quit" the guard replied “she made an oath” and Azula raised an eyebrow in response "are you tell me what i can do? Are you telling a noblewoman what she can do? Any debt she owes you will be wiped by my command, understand?" Azula barked. The trainer paled but nodded "yes princess" and bowed his head. "Good" Azula nodded and she strode with you right out of the front doors. 
Azula brought you to the lodgings she was staying at in the nearest town and you were amused to see it had been given the royal treatment. Red everywhere, freshly polished surfaces as far as the eye could see, gold and silver decorations lay on every available service and of course a large portrait of the fire lord hung on the wall. Over a lavish dinner Azula told you the mission making you realise you’d accepted and left the army without even asking for any details. You were fine with hunting the avatar and Zuko with Mai and Ty lee but you also recognised you would’ve accepted almost any mission Azula gave you because you’d been so happy to see her. Azula had always had this effect on you and time apart hadn’t done anything to lessen that. You were as much in love with her now as you were the day you left two years ago. 
After dinner Azula led you to your shared apartment, it contained two bedrooms with ensuites and a large living room which you were pleased to see and you sunk into the sofa happily. "Your hair’s shorter" Azula commented suddenly and you nodded touching it self consciously "yeah it was a target in sparring". Azula scoffed "seriously? Don’t they teach the other recruits proper fire bending moves as opposed to childish tricks?". You shrugged "they told us to win by any means. That it doesn’t have to look good so long as you win". Azula laughed again "amateurs all of them! Of course it should look good". You smirked "well when it comes so easy to you" and glanced over her. Azula shrugged but had a large smile on her face "well I suppose I have been blessed in that aspect". You laughed again and smiled "this is nice". Azula smiled too "it is" and you locked eyes for several seconds before she looked away slowly. Azula stood up abruptly "we should get some sleep we’re moving on foot tomorrow to go get Ty lee and then Mai". You were excited at the thought of seeing your old friends and grinned "great! Also don’t think i didn’t notice you came for me first" you called as Azula made her way towards her room. She halted and you smirked "I always knew i was your favourite but really Azula to make it so obvious" you grinned and Azula paused. You walked to your own room and Azula finally responded "i always made it obvious you’re my favourite, it’s nothing new" and went into her room.
You stepped into your own room and leant back against the closed door blushing vividly from the encounter with Azula. You’d spent all your time in the army trying to convince yourself your relationship with Azula was purely platonic. That the fact your heart sped up whenever you thought of her or how you dreamt of her often was just because you were close friends. You managed to convince yourself you weren’t in love with Azula and that she didn’t feel anything for you either but less than a day with her and you knew that was a lie. You couldn’t deny the way she made you feel and how she smiled at you in a way she never did with anyone else...as much as it made you nervous your realisation also excited you. You couldn’t wait to be around Azula again and felt a happy glow spread over you. You settled in your bed, a smile still on your face and burrowed into the exquisite cushions. You expected to fall to sleep easily but a while later you were still awake. You frowned confused as to why. You were happy, you were with Azula and the bed was comfy so why couldn’t you sleep? You figured maybe the bed was too soft compared to what you were used to in the army so went into the living room to try the sofa. You laid down and realised this was better, more like the beds back at the military. You had just closed your eyes when Azula’s door opened. "Trouble sleeping?" she asked and you nodded "i think the bed’s too comfy". Azula laughed "i thought the opposite, really y/n your taste has worsened in our time apart". You shrugged "it’s better than what i’ve been sleeping on for the last 9 months". Azula lay down on the sofa next to you and you looked at her. You didn’t ask why after finding her own bed soooo uncomfortable she came to lay on a sofa barely a foot from where you were and just enjoyed the silence. “So, anything else i missed you didn’t put in your letters?” you asked. Azula hadn’t written to you much at the academy and honestly that had been a good thing. You’d have just missed her more than you already had but she did send brief updates once a month. Azula nodded "probably tons, i couldn’t write often". You didn’t point out she wrote to you on the first of each month religiously instead you turned on your side to look at her. Mai and Ty lee had also written to you but you’d noticed compared to their letters and the changes in their lives Azula’s had been...well boring. You felt almost sorry for her, you’d all moved away to different things but Azula had been stuck at home with a father who was cruel, the ghost of a cold mother and the memory of a banished brother. Azula quickly discussed some events that had happened and then also turned on her side to face you. "What about you then? How was military life really?". You shrugged "not as i expected". "I knew that job would be awful" Azula commented "why did you stay so long then?". You sighed "well i liked some parts of it, the physical training was similar to what we did in the academy which i liked, the mental tests were better, they made me use all my brain". "That’s a first" Azula chimed in and you rolled your eyes "i liked those parts of it...could’ve done without the abuse from the trainers, food restrictions and ban on leaving". Azula raised an eyebrow "remember what i always told you y/n no self-pity, you could’ve left at any time. You chose not to". You thought Azula sounded a bit angry when she said that but you shrugged "i could but that would have meant going back home not coming back to the capital and I’d rather fight all the trainers at once than that" you said through gritted teeth and Azula saw you’d tensed. She recalled you never got along with your family but she hadn’t realised they were part of the reason you’d taken such an awful job so soon after graduation. "They hated my move to the capital and said if i failed at all they’d have me back and married, i had one shot to escape them, there’s no way i’d give it away because i didn’t actually like what i’d chosen". Azula didn’t comment she just watched you conflicted, she hated self pity and weakness but you were so like her, she’d have done the exact same thing in your position. "But you did leave" Azula commented “you left to come with me” and you looked down "i did...". Azula saw the way your face changed, filling with worry and she actually felt slightly guilty. You’d left instinctively for her when she asked, no matter what it might mean for you in the long term. You did all that for her and it proved to her again why you were her closest ally.
Azula laughed and you looked at her confused "y/n do you really think i’d make you give up your job for a small mission?". You frowned "what?". "Your parents won’t be angry because this a much better job, you’ll be paid more and you’re working with me" Azula said pointedly. "They can’t say anything against that, as long as you’re with me they can’t touch you" she smiled and you grinned at Azula "you’d vouch for me?". Azula nodded "of course, i want you with me and that’s what i’ll get, i don’t care who your family are they’re not taking you anywhere ever". You were equally touched and shocked "ever?". Azula nodded "well obviously you might not be here forever but they’re never taking you back to tie you to a marriage, i’ll just keep coming up with excuses to keep you in my company until you’re too old and then they’ll have to leave you alone with me" Azula explained and you smiled "sounds perfect".
Azula laughed and met your eye, seeing how intensely you looked at her gave her chills. Azula had missed you greatly in the capital but honestly she’d let you leave without a fight. She sensed a growing attraction and longing for you which she knew had to stop. So she let you go figuring some distance would be good but as soon as she needed allies the first face in her mind was yours. The second she saw you she knew she’d made the right choice but she also felt the attraction just as suddenly. Laying here staring at you made it more apparent than ever and it scared Azula. She blushed and turned away from you, facing the back of the sofa "try and sleep" she commanded "we'll be up early". 
You didn’t comment on how much Azula was blushing or how she’d chosen to sleep out here with you. You just smiled and closed your eyes basking in the feeling of all she’d said and the safety of her. “Good night Princess” you whispered and you fell asleep almost instantly.
The next day you reunited with Ty lee and then Mai. Ty lee had launched herself at both you and Azula when she saw you and the same occurred for Mai. Mai grunted and hugged Ty lee begrudgingly. "I thought you ran away to the circus?" Mai asked Ty lee and she nodded "i did but y/n and Azula showed up and well they called louder than the universe" Ty lee smiled. "Wait y/n and Azula, isn’t the circus closer to the capital than the military?" Mai asked looking from you to Azula. "Yeah so?" you said confused and Mai shrugged "nothing just seems like it’d make sense to go to the circus first then military but hey i’m sure Azula had her reasons for coming to get you first" Mai smirked slightly. You didn’t look at Azula but Mai and Ty lee exchanged a look at the matching blushes you were both sporting, some things never change. Azula recovered first and pretended Mai hadn’t said anything about the two of you and began explaining her plan. You joined in after a few seconds of recovery but still felt giddy at Mai’s words.
Throughout your trip you and Azula grew closer and closer just like you’d done at the academy. Although neither of you spoke about it you felt drawn to one another and Azula acted differently around you. She sought you out more than the others, always kept the closest proximity to you and paired Mai and Ty lee and you with herself whenever you had to split into teams. As you fell into old habits all the past feelings came back and you began to worry at all the dangerous situations Azula was putting herself in just to please her father. She’d infiltrated Ba Sing Sei without any backup besides you, Ty lee and Mai which terrified you. Of course her plan worked but still you were so grateful Azula had been unharmed and managed to take over the whole city without any mishaps. You hoped it’d be smooth sailing from there but of course she wanted her brother and the avatar too. You did exactly what she said to try and help her but you couldn’t escape the feeling something would go wrong. Azula had left to go and face the avatar all alone apart from her dai lee agents and you couldn’t get her out of your head. Azula had put you in charge of making sure the earth king and his bear were looked after but you wanted to ensure she was okay so left it to Ty lee and Mai. You followed the secret passage you’d seen Azula take and found your way into a massive cavern filled with people. You spotted Azula fighting the avatar and saw her shoot him with a lightning bolt. He fell to the floor and you gaped at the fact Azula had likely just killed the avatar. The water bender with the avatar then went into a rage and flew through the air using a massive wave to catch him. Azula smirked ready to engage with her and you saw Zuko standing beside her. You were surprised to see Zuko beside her, never thinking she’d actually manage to get Zuko on her side but of course she was a master at manipulation. You smiled at all she’d achieved when you noticed Azula’s uncle Iroh was approaching them. He had flames in his hands and was looking right at Azula who was fixed on the water bender. You gasped at Iroh’s intentions and how nobody was aware of what was going on behind them. You broke out into a run and leapt down the cliff as quick as you could. You were getting closer but you still weren’t close enough. Iroh raised his hands and you went into panic mode. “Stop” you yelled and threw your own fire as Iroh released his own. Your strike managed to hit his off course and it hit a rock beside Azula. Azula and Zuko both jumped and Iroh turned to you. You were now stood blocking his path to Azula and you sensed he still wanted to take her down. You anticipated his attack and blocked it instinctively before firing back your own. Iroh was much stronger than you so you were heavily outmatched when suddenly two flames burst onto the scene. Azula sprang in front and began attacking her uncle savagely while Zuko helped. You were again slightly surprised by Zuko but quickly joined in. With three on one even the dragon of the west couldn’t last long and with a final hit from Azula he fell to the floor. “Seize him and throw him in a cage” Azula spat and walked past him to you. “I thought I told you to wait upstairs” she said fixing her intense gaze on you and you shrugged “I wanted to help and I think it’s a good job I did”. Azula shot you a look at your boldness but you could tell she was more amused than annoyed. “You appear to be correct” she replied curtly before walking past you. You smiled after Azula, admiring how happy she looked and why wouldn’t she? She’d taken over Ba Sing Sei, possibly killed the avatar, brought down her uncle and convinced Zuko to ally with her, all in all it had been an excellent day and Azula had proved herself a force to be reckoned with. You began following her when you saw the guards walking Iroh in the opposite direction. You were going to look away when you noticed he was still staring at Azula. You could feel his anger and knew what his intentions were, he meant to finish the job. In the blink of an eye Iroh burst out of his restraints, threw his guards to the side and took a stance. “Azula get down” you yelled sensing the electricity in the air but he had an excellent shot at her and she had nowhere to go. Instinctively you threw yourself into the path of the lightning. 
Azula also responded instinctively. She conjured her own lightning to meet her uncle’s when she saw you running into the fight, You tried to raise a wall of fire but there wasn’t time, you got hit by the bolt and collapsed. Azula only just managed to direct her own bolt away from you and felt her heart beating rapidly. As the smoke cleared Azula saw your body on the floor rage consumed her. She conjured a huge amount of electricity and sent it all at her uncle. He tried to block it but Azula’s bolt sliced through his defences hitting him square in the chest. Azula didn’t even check to see if her bolt had met its mark, she knew it had so rushed to your side. “Y/n” she yelled and she knelt beside you staring at the smoke coming off your back where the bolt had hit you. Your uniform was partially melted and Azula could smell the burning flesh strongly. "I need water” Azula yelled grabbing you and trying to feel for a pulse. She felt one and felt her own breathing somewhat stabilise too. "Now" Azula yelled and people rushed forwards. Azula poured the water over you "it’s okay" she told as you winced as she poured more. "We need to get her into the pool" she called "someone help me get her to the water". Zuko appeared and helped Azula carry you to a fountain. You were semi-conscious which made Azula hurry even quicker, she wanted to reduce your pain as soon as possible. Azula climbed into the fountain first and told Zuko to pass you to her. She took you carefully and laid you on your back floating. Your eyes closed as you passed out and Zuko called for a doctor. Azula clutched your by your arms keeping you close to her in the water "you will not die y/n" she snarled "you will be fine do you hear me?". You didn’t respond. 
Later
You woke up face down on something soft and tried to move your face away from it when shooting pains erupted along your spine. You felt like your back was cracking open and groaned loudly. "Careful y/n" you heard someone say and saw it was Ty Lee. "Ty lee? What happened?". "You got burnt" she explained "on your back..luckily Azula cooled you in time to stop any long-term damage but it’s still really sore so be careful". You reached for your back and flinched at the slightest touch of it. "Stop" Ty lee told you "Azula said i’m to watch you and make sure you rest, apply more soothing cream on it every three hours and just basically always make sure you're okay!" she told you cheerfully. You shook your head "Ty lee i’m fine you don’t have to sit guard over me" you tried to sit up and went pale from the pain. "Don’t do that" Ty lee cried rushing to your side "if you want to get up i can pile some pillows in front of you for you to lean on. I don’t think you can sit up for a while". You pouted annoyed but asked Ty lee to bring you said pillows and managed to pull yourself up onto your elbows "so what happened? Tell me everything". "Well thanks to you we managed to stop Iroh escaping and hurting Azula, we took Ba Sing Sei and the avatar is dead". "Wow" you said surprised "That is... a lot". Ty lee nodded “Ow and Zuko’s back on our side". You nodded and smiled "I bet Mai is happy". Ty lee grinned too "she is i haven’t seen her since we started for home". "We’re on our way back?" you asked and Ty lee nodded "yes but Azula said me, you and Mai are to stay with her even after we arrive back in the capital, she said she still has a need for us". You smiled laying your head down blushing slightly, Azula had kept her promise, she wasn’t letting you go. You sighed happily and Ty lee smiled "y/n?". "I’m just glad to be going back" you smiled "i think we'll have lots of fun". You had been dozing when the sounds of the door made you jolt awake sending shooting pains down your back. You winced but prepared yourself for an attack until you saw her. Azula raised her hands as she saw you jump and she smiled "just me". You relaxed "Azula, sorry i was asleep". "Don’t apologise you need to rest after what happened, i just wanted to come check on you. We'll be in the fire nation in a few hours". "That’s good news" you smiled and Azula nodded "how does the back feel? Ty lee says you’re doing as well as can be expected" Azula’s eyes drifted to your back and you froze. You were now very aware you were laid on your front with only a blanket covering your bare torso from Azula’s eye. Azula stepped closer and you rushed to explain and stop her inspecting you. "I’m fine" you told her "the burns aren’t too bad, they hardly hurt at all". Azula raised an eyebrow "then you won’t mind me having a look?" and stepped beside you. She reached for the blanket and you grabbed her hand with an uncomfortable strain "wait, i lied...i don’t want you to see it, Ty lee says it looks bad. It’s in the blistering stage and yes it hurts but everything has already been done for it and me so you don’t need to see it or check on me". Azula titled her head to one side as you couldn’t meet her eye and she sighed sitting on the floor beside your bed. "It will scar but unlike Zuko you can wear yours with pride" Azula said forcefully and you looked up at her shocked "with time i’m sure it will simply resemble a tattoo" Azula explained. You turned on your side to look at her, something you’d practised with Ty lee and could now manage. "Ty lee told me you did as much for me as you could...i can’t really remember it but..". "Do you remember jumping into the path of lightning for me?" Azula said "without protecting yourself or even any concrete attempt to do so, and what for?". You sighed thinking Azula was angry at you "i...i know it was reckless and stupid, it went against everything we were taught at the academy but I don’t know Azula, i did it without even thinking. I saw it heading for you and you weren’t ready! It would hit you and i just did it without hesitation, i know it seems stupid and emotional but i don’t regret it Azula i’d do it again" you told her sighing, feeling she wouldn’t understand. "I know that might sound stupid...why i’d do that for you but Azula i..." you started as Azula cut you off "y/n". Azula gently raised your head with a hand helping you to look at her. You were confused by Azula’s gaze, it was soft but at the same time intense, you couldn’t recognise the emotion, was she angry? Happy? Excited? Apparently it was somewhere in the middle. Azula leant down to you, hand on your cheek as she ghosted her lips over yours. You felt a sensation like water being thrown over you as Azula kissed you softly and quickly before pulling back "i don’t completely get it but i understand" she smiled blushing softly "i think I can imagine why you did it" she said looking away from you "thank you for saving me". You were speechless, Azula was thanking you? Azula understood why you did it? Did that mean she liked you too? She’d just kissed you so of course she did! Or was that what she thought you wanted? Azula had been used all her life, did she simply think you did this in order to make gains with her? 
Azula smiled slightly to see your brain short-circuiting at her actions and stood up. "i just wanted to make sure you were okay so now I know you are i’ll let you go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we’re there". You nodded still confused and watched Azula walked away. You weren’t sure what had just happened but you knew you had to make Azula realise you didn’t do this just to use her. "Azula" you said suddenly "is that...what you just did...if that was my reward or what you think i wanted from you after today...i didn’t save you because i was expecting a reward or anything from you so what i’m saying is you don’t have to compensate me if you don’t want to. I didn’t do it for any reason other than to keep you safe". 
Azula blushed suddenly and felt her emotions swirling, she realised she was happy. To hear you express openly your desire for her safety filled her with excitement and she realised nobody had ever cared for her before like you did. Azula nodded slowly "that is welcomed news y/n" she smiled "but i didn’t reward you like that as a forced compensation either" she told you "although my intentions were personal and selfish i suppose”. 
You smirked slightly and nodded "good...i mean fine with me". Azula nodded "i’m glad we understand each other, good night y/n". "Good night princess Azula" you said savouring the words and Azula’s eye twitched but she maintained her calm expression and bowed leaving. You lay back giggling as realisation (and the medication you were on for the pain) set in. Azula had kissed you and told you she didn’t do it because she thought she had to but because she wanted to! For selfish reasons!!! You wrapped yourself in your blankets and didn’t stop smiling even in your sleep.
____
Is it just me who loves the idea of being in a secret relationship with the princess of the fire nation? I feel like Azula would excel at sneaking around the palace and would like rebelling against Ozai for once
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hajimeiwaswife · 3 years
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SCALES
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Word count: 2,1K
Warnings: mermaid sex, tail touch.
Summary: Prince Oikawa Toru wants you as his mermaid Princess.
Contrary to the popular believe, there is light at the bottom of the ocean. The sun's light and warmth does not arrive, but the lightbulb corals engage the dark water in beautiful and colourful rays that give life to the society of the deep.
Among the pink, turquois and yellow water you danced, your beauty surpassed that of the reef you lived in. Ever since you were born the reef had been your home, that little space of the ocean being your haven, your safe place. You wanted to die in the same place you were born, so you weren't planning on ever leaving the reef.
You knew everyone around, from your parents to the seaweed seller, from the librarian to the human-things seller. A little community of mermaids where no one was out of tune with the rest, a place in the ocean to live a peaceful life.
That was until the prince Oikawa fixed his eyes on you. There had been rumours for some time about him having to find a suitor, how he would be the next in the throne. His search had been intense, no one was enough for the strong and handsome merman, for the prince, for the next in the line of succession.
You were unaware of his decision; you didn't even know that he had passed your reef at all. Again, in the life you were living you really didn't care about princes or princesses, those royals were too far from your lifestyle for you to pay attention to them.
So why, why were you now under his custody? Why had he locked you down on his bedroom? What had changed so much for you to be away from your reef and family? No one did a thing to stop his army when they came for you.
"At the behest of Prince Oikawa Toru the First, you are claimed as the new bride and heir to the throne."
After that, the knights took you to the castle in a dolphin drawn carriage. You were aware of the danger these animals pose, even domesticated they were known to rape all species, under water or terrestrial, they didn't care. There many cases of mermaids pregnant by dolphins.
That thought occupied your mind the whole trip, taking you away for a moment from the horrible fate that waited for you on the Prince's chamber. You felt dizzy and nauseous, scare as the nights carried you along the place.
The castle was breath-taking, you had to admit. White walls and Corinthian columns decorated the hall. You could dissipate the statues of ancient kings and queens, the torsos build in white marble and the tails decorated in colourful gems. If it wasn't for the situation you were currently living, you would have admired with more deliberation the marvellous surroundings of the castle.
At the end of the corridor of the third flour, a giant wooden door stood. The brown and golden stood out among the white foundations. You knew, it was the door of the Prince's chambers. You didn't try to scape, there was no use; even if you tried you could get beheaded. But, wouldn't that be a better fate than what awaited in there? Only time would tell.
"Go in." ordered on of the knights, pushing you inside the room, "Prince Toru will be here in a few minutes. Don't you dare move."
They locked the door after leaving you near the king-sized bed and you ran towards the windows to see if there was any way you could swim out of there. What a surprised to see all of them guarded, what were you even thinking?
You waited there for some time, each minute agonizingly painful, thinking that at any moment the Prince could enter and that you would have to face your destiny. Millions of questions passed your brain, the next one more perturbed than the previous one. 'Will he just marry me and leave me be? Or will I be his sex slave? What if he makes me have hundreds of kids? Is that even allowed in monarchy?'
Anxiety was eating you alive, that was until a shiver passed your whole body when you heard the door opening. The enter the most handsome and ethereal being you had even seen; however, he was the most intimidating and scary monster under the sea at the same time.
Brunet hair moved along the dance of the water; porcelain skin shining like the corals of your reef; perfect nose scrunched as he smiled in a oh-so-beautiful smirk; his brown eyes gazed at you the same way a hunter looks at his pray, intense and amused. His broad shoulders paved the way to his muscular arms and veiny hands and to his toned chest and torso. His pectorals were defined, pink nipples greeting you from afar. His abs were those of a God himself, it was noticeable he took care of his body. But his tail, oh, his tail. Turquoise, light blue, white and light green were combined in his scales, bright and beautiful. His tail was one of a kind. Larger than any you had even seen, thicker, too. A golden aura surrounded his entire body.
Not a word could come out of your mouth, too occupied trying not to salivate at the sight of the man in front of you. He chuckled at your pathetic form, he expected that to be your reaction as he had had the same one when he saw you for the first time, even if he didn't want to admit it. Passing by your reef had caused him a hard-on the moment he laid his gaze on you.
"Good evening, sweetheart." he greeted, breaking the silence and welcoming you to the real world, "How was the trip?"
"Uh?" it wasn't what you were expecting, you thought he was going to introduce himself first.
"Oh, I see, too tired to talk." he chuckled again, mischief in his eyes augured no good, "And here I was, hoping to have a long night with you." he sighed, laying on his bed dramatically without tearing his eyes from you.
You stiffed. Yes, he was attractive, but you weren't going to sleep with him after knowing him for a minute and a half. He noticed your reaction and smirked, sitting up, his tail swimming from left to right.
"What a dirty minded we have here! I meant talking, honey."
He was teasing you, you could feel his amusement at 'playing with his food'. He knew that what he said could be taken in another sense. Then, why were you getting excited?
"Would you like anything to drink? I don't like to show off, but we have the best red seaweed wine of the seven seas."
"No, thank you." you said, not trusting drinking alcohol and less in his presence.
"You talk! And you have a very melodic voice, my love." Toru sighed again, smiling cheekily at you.
You shivered, the feeling of being in constant alert and of wanting to give in both in your mind. There was something about him that didn't let you at ease, but that was driving you crazy for his attention.
"Are you sure you don't want anything? After such a long trip you must be thirsty," he offered again, a fake pout on his lips giving him a childish aspect.
"... Okay." you finally accepted, the need for something to drink too strong.
"So, tell me, Y/N," he started, coming closer to you, "are you glad I chose you to be my future wife? You can say the truth, I won't be mad."
"How do you know my name?" saying you were shocked would be an understatement, you hadn't told him anything about you yet.
"Let's say that when I'm passionate about something I can get very... invested in knowing everything about it. In this case it's you, Y/N."
You didn't know when he started, but his left hand was touching your tail. You could feel pleasure growing inside you, too aroused to tell him to stop, hands so smooth against your scales that everything you wanted was for him to touch... Wait, what?
"Prince Toru, what are you...?"
"Toru."
"What?"
"You can call me Toru, darling." you could feel his breath against your neck, his tongue licking it when he was wetting his lips.
"Okay, Toru, could you please stop?"
He moved a little so he could look you in the eyes, his brown ones so dark because of lust that his pupil was impossible to detect. You hissed at the sight, he really was beautiful, but you didn't know him, so why were you thinking about letting him use you?
"For the look in your eyes you don't want me to stop," he whispered, closing the gap between your faces and giving you a small peck, "I'll trust your body language."
Next thing you know, his lips are on yours kissing you fiercely. An unknown force within you pushed you to kiss him back, his taste too sweet for you to decline. His tongue licked your bottom lip, asking for you to give him access, something you needn't to think about. Tongues intertwined, his hands continued to touch your tail, fingers too close to your pussy.
At some point, maybe between his incessant kisses to your neck and his bites to your nipples, he stood with you to the middle of the room, swimming elegantly. When his abs touched your belly, you knew there was no turning back, but why would you want to?
His mouth around your right nipple, teeth biting it until he was satisfied. He locked his gaze with yours, desire clear in his eyes, something else in there. Was he asking for permission? Now? You just nodded.
He entered you with delicacy, his long and thick dick paving the way until he bottomed out. His breathy moans mixed with yours, feeling the veins at the base of his cock too much.
He started thrusting, the mating dance making it look as pleasurable as it was. Wet sounds from your pussy and the water around you accompanied the whines and groans you both were mouthing. His hands still touching your tail were too overwhelming, his delicious thrusts were making you mind foggy.
Up and down, snake like movements flouting in the middle of the room. "Moan my name, c'mon, don't be ―fuck― shy."
"T-toru," you whined, a wonderful feeling rising at your stomach, "I'm close."
"Let me cum inside," he begged, his movements sloppier, sweat mixing with water, bubbled forming around the two of you, "let me breed you."
"Fuck, Toru, yes, breed me please." you moaned, too dizzy because of the pleasure, "I want your child."
At that moment your orgasm exploded, the most delicious feeling you had ever felt wrapped you in the form of Toru's arms. He came not too much later, dying your walls in white, breeding you.
You both stood there, his dick pulsating inside of you, your walls clenching at it, a sense of euphoria in you. He pushed his cock out of you, looking at you with a small, genuine smile on his mouth.
"You want to have my child, uh?" he chuckled, bringing you to the bed so you both could lay.
"I didn't―"
"I know, it was in the heat of the moment."
Silence took over the atmosphere. You didn't know him one bit, but after the mating dance you shared, you were more at ease with him, calmer, maybe he wasn't that bad. However, that didn't mean you were going to marry him without getting to know him better.
His tail wrapped around yours, after your orgasm it was still too sensitive, but you decided to let him do what he wanted. Scales against scales, chest against chest, sharing the cold of the under-sea creatures.
"I was thinking about showing you around tomorrow," he commented, smiling a little at you. He was adorable, and you discovered in that moment that the facade he had shown you at first was nothing but fake.
"That sounds nice. But I won't marry you unless―"
"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on forcing you."
"Excuse me, sir, we had just fucked because you touched my tail out of nowhere."
He felt silent, lips pressed in a line, his tail moving nervously as he giggled a little, like a kid who had just been caught playing mischief.
"I won't force you to do something you don't want to do."
"You're insufferable, Prince Toru."
"Just for you, future Princess Y/N."
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wiypt-writes · 3 years
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Riding On
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CH7- Home, Sweet Home
Summary: Frank and Fliss find their perfect family home, but there’s something bothering Mary.
Warnings: Bad Language words. Discussions about suicide. A little bit of angst.
Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher
A/N: This is a bit of an emotionally charged filler chapter…and we move time on a little through to June in the middle. And photos of the Adler house are included at the bottom so you can visualise what I used for inspiration.
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 6
You’re giving it another try, staring at the deep blue sky, and you say to the driver just drive, coz you never felt so alive.
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 April 2019
“Hey honey, you ok?” Frank juggled his phone, pinning it between his ear and his shoulder as he leaned over his computer in the office, scanning the database on the screen for a filter part they needed to order. 
“No, I mean yes! I’ve just heard some awesome news!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, so you remember the guy that bought the house that backs onto the yard when Old Man River died…” “That wasn’t his name.” Frank chuckled “It was Mr Morris.”
“He called himself River, it was funny and suited him. Anyway, that’s not the point. You know the guy who bought it…guess what I found out before?”
Frank stopped what he was doing and straightened up. He didn’t like that dick, one bit. When Mr Morris had died at the start of the year, Fliss had been quite upset about the news as the old man had been very friendly to her, often popping in for a cup of tea a few afternoons a week for some company. Mr Morris’ son had sold the house without them even knowing it had gone on the market, which was a shame as it would have been perfect for them given the location. The guy who had bought it, Frank didn’t even know his name, nor did he care because he was a dick and a pervert to boot. The way he looked at Fliss made Frank want to punch his face in.
“What’s Douchey Mc Douchebag done now?”
“You’re so childish.” she scoffed “Anyway, I was only commenting to Joanne last night that we haven’t seen him for like a month and she went home and mentioned it to her dad who works with some other guy in the property development business and the long and short of it is he’s gone bankrupt Frank!”
Frank laughed loudly “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, babe!”
“I know right!” Fliss voice was gathering pace and pitch, the way it always did when she was excited. “So literally about half hour after she’s told me this, someone turns up and there’s a For Sale sign outside, the house is on the market!”
Ok now he was interested. Frank could picture the look of excitement on her face as she spoke to him and he felt the smile cross his face “No shit?”
“Yeah, I’ll send you the website to look at the photos but…oh God, it would be perfect! Some of it is really nice, some of it needs decorating but…”
“Ok, well, why don’t you call the realtor? Arrange a viewing” he said “Hopefully you won’t puke halfway round this one.”
“Ok, first off that wasn’t my fault. Bean objected to the smell. Who the fuck cooks eggs the day they know they have someone coming to view their house?” her indignant tone made Frank chuckle “And second off…”she paused “I already did. He said he can meet us at half 12.”
“Half 12? As in lunch time? Today?” Frank frowned.
“I know I just really don’t want to miss out on this one Frank, and you said you were gonna come up here for lunch and-”
“Ok, ok.” Frank sighed “I’ll shuffle some stuff around, work a little later tonight and take an extra half hour.”
“I love you.” she replied and he could hear the smile in her voice.
“Good job I love you too.” he said back gruffly “Because you’re a pain in my ass.”
He bid her goodbye and just as he was looking at the rota to make sure there were enough staff in to cope if he took a longer lunch, his phone beeped. He clicked through to the link Fliss had sent him and had a scan through the photos. To be fair the house didn’t look in too bad condition. It was deceptive from the outside, looked like a small farmhouse but they knew thanks to the extension Douchebag had put on the back it now formed an L shape and from the look of it, was pretty spacious. The kitchen was new, the main bathroom was new so the big work looked like it had been mostly done. The décor in some of the rooms was really old fashioned, especially the hallway you and the front reception room, but that was all cosmetic. What really grabbed him was the price. It was up for just over 320 thousand, which was a fucking steal considering the size, location, the garden and the garage/outhouse it came with.
“You ok Frank?”
He looked up and smiled as Alan, his boss walked in to the office. “Yeah, sorry, Fliss has found a house and managed to book a viewing for lunch time. Fucking 7th one in 2 weeks.”
Alan snorted “Keeping you on your toes I see?”
“Well I gotta say, this one’s looking pretty good. It’s the house that backs onto our Yard out in Pinellas Park.” Frank explained “It was sold not even 6 months ago to a developer and he’s apparently gone bankrupt so put it back on the market.”
“Huh.” Alan smiled “Sounds like it was meant to be. Take it you’re going then?”
“Yeah, Charlie and Gary are in all afternoon. I thought I could take an extra half hour, work it back tonight or…”
“Frank, when was the last time you actually took a full hour for your lunch and didn’t cut it short by 10 or 15?” Alan looked at him.
Frank hesitated “Yeah, but that’s-”
“No buts.” Alan shook his head. “Do what you gotta do.”
“Thanks Alan.” Frank smiled, “I appreciate it.”
Alan waved away his gratitude before he dropped into the chair on the opposite side of Frank’s small desk and gestured for Frank to sit down.
“I wanted to talk to you in person, before the news gets out. I’m looking at retiring Frank, fully this time.”
“That’s good news, for you I mean.” Frank smiled, taking his seat. “You must be happy?”
“Kinda bitter sweet.” He shrugged “But I hit 70 this year and bout time I let it all go. Bill’s already chomping at the bit to book damned fishing trips so...it’ll be nice to step back. But I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Shoot.”
“My son, James is going to be taking over, that won’t come as any surprise to you as you’ve seen him knocking around a bit and he likes you.”
“Good to know I’m not going to be out on my ass.” Frank smiled, breathing out a little.
“No, not a chance. I wouldn’t allow it.” Alan said “I’ll still be the owner, just stepping back from major decision making and day to day running. Anyway, the point is Frank, James needs a deputy. He is young and a little inexperienced. I’ve seen how quickly over the last year you’ve picked up rotas, staffing issues, dealt with the stock takes, haggled with the supply chain…I wondered if you’d consider it.”
Frank blinked “You wanna make me deputy manager?”
“In a word, yes. And I know you got your hands full at the moment and they’ll be even more full when that boy of yours arrives but the changes won’t come into effect until the end of the year so we got plenty of time to work out the details.”
“Wow, I err…” Frank shook his head “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t need an answer now.” Alan said, “Take some time to consider it. Talk it over with Fliss.”
“I will, I’ll give it some thought.”
“Ok, well, that’s all I dropped in for.” Alan said, standing up, groaning a little “Did you just hear my damned knees click?”
Frank laughed and shook his head “No, but to be honest mine click too so I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Getting old sucks.” Alan said, shaking his head “I tell ya, the minute I can’t enjoy the simple things in life, put a bullet in my head.”
Frank snorted as Alan shot him a wink and left him to his thoughts.
******* Frank glanced down at the wooden boards beneath his feet in the entrance hall. They were solid old wood, oak he thought, and with a clean and polish would look stunning. He looked up and saw Fliss talking animatedly to the realtor, a young man called David as he nodded and gestured to his left. Fliss opened the door and looked at Frank who followed her into the first reception room. It smelt musty, and there was an old sofa and threadbare carpet in the room but it was light and had a nice, airey feeling to it thanks to the large windows at the front of the house.
“New carpet and a bit of paint…” Frank mused nodding, “Be good as new.”
She nodded eagerly, her eyes shining a she looked around and nodded at the fire place “Really, in Florida?”
“It gets cold, as you know.” he teased “Besides, we just fill it with some of your million candles or whatever…”
She nudged him and they turned around, David watching them.
“So, you’re obviously in the older part of the house that hasn’t really been touched apart from upstairs.” he explained, “But if you follow me I’ll show you the extension which is all new and, well, to be honest, I think it’s stunning.”
The three of them moved back into the hall and through a door at the end which led into a huge open plan kitchen and living area. The kitchen was gorgeous. Sleek white units, modern appliances, marble tops, a huge breakfast bar. Douchebag had clearly spent a fortune doing this up. The floor was a light grey and white laminate which David pointed out was heavy wearing.  To the left of the kitchen area was a huge space where Frank could clearly picture their sofas and TV, and then just off that was a door which led into another smaller reception room, freshly painted and carpeted.  He was just pondering how they could turn that into a play room when Fliss gave a gasp and nudged Frank pointing to the large bay window at the back which had been converted into a seating nook of sorts. They made their way over and saw that the view extended right over their garden highlighting a small pool area which was surrounded by a low set of railings with a gate that were all painted a glossy black. The pool itself was sparklingly clean and clearly brand new.
“Oh wow… “ Fliss mumbled, looking at the sand stone tiles that surrounded the area and the rest of the garden.
“Yeah the rear garden loops in an L round the house” David said. “There’s a larger fence around this area to keep it private and separate from the land at the front that runs flush to the yard area.”
Frank’s hands dropping to her hips as he nodded to the right “Could extend that little patio area for a table and chairs, maybe build a brick BBQ. Couple of sun-loungers for that bit at the back of the pool.”
She nodded eagerly before they headed back into the hallway they’d entered into where the realtor showed them the little room that was to the right as you came in the door which held a number of shelves and coat hooks and a toilet and sink basin. They then headed up stairs to find 4 bedrooms. The master extended down the entire side of the house overlooking the main yard area of Sandybrook. It needed some work, the plaster and paint was peeling away in some areas, but Frank wasn’t worried at that. It was an easy job. What he was pleased to see was that the rest of it was in good condition. There was a brand new en-suite attached to it, housing a toilet, a huge shower and his and hers sinks. The room also had built in wardrobes and huge ceiling to floor bi-folding doors which opened up onto a small balcony. Douchebag had clearly been focussing on the big jobs first before he got into the cosmetics, which Frank had to give him credit for.
The main bathroom was in between the wall of their en-suite and the next bedroom, both situated at the back of the house over the extension and overlooking the fields belonging to the yard. The plaster was fresh in that bedroom but hadn’t been painted, again, not an issue, because Frank knew a certain little miss would be no doubt picking a colour as soon a she spotted this room.
“Bet Mary chooses this one.” Frank said, voicing his thoughts and Fliss nodded, smiling
“I would if the Master didn’t have that en-suite.” she grinned “Look at that view!”
“Yeah, who’d have thought you could work from home in the equestrian business” he chuckled as they then headed to the next bedroom on the opposite side of the landing. This was also rather large, but like the main part of the master bedroom, was clearly one of the original two bedrooms the house had and it needed some updating.
The 4th bedroom was a smaller one up a narrow set of stairs hidden by door in the hallway. It opened up into an attic room which tucked into the roof of the house.
The realtor then led them back down and the out to the outbuildings. There was a huge garage with a half- finished apartment of sorts above it that had been used as storage but could be easily a guest suite if they so wanted,  and then the thing Frank had really loved was the workshop off the side of the garage, accessed by a small door. It was musty and full of crap but was somewhere for him to store all his tools and work on any side projects he decided to pick up.
All in all Frank was finding it pretty damned hard to pick faults in the place.
As they headed back to the main house and Frank asked David politely to give them a moment to look around alone and he nodded eagerly before Frank and Fliss headed back into the house.
“I’m getting good vibes Sailor.” Fliss said as she turned round, looking at the kitchen, once more heading over to the bay window seat, “really good vibes.” she spun back to him and he smiled at the look on her face. “I mean, ok, a few rooms need decorating and there’s some finishing off bits to do all over but it’s nothing that dad can’t help with and I’m sure-“
At that she stopped dead, and gave a little gasp as her hand flew to her bump.
“You ok?” Frank stepped forward.
“Yeah he’s…” she swallowed “Bean’s kicking, Frankie! Quick!”
He reached out with his hand and she took it, pressing it to the side of her bump. After a second or two he felt something wriggle a little under his palm and he looked at Fliss, his face cracking into an open mouthed smile as he felt his son move for the first time.
“Lissy…” he swallowed his eyes misting over. “That’s…oh my God!”
“You should feel it from my POV!” Fliss smiled her own eyes glassy too.
Frank didn’t want to take his hand away. Instead, he kept moving his palm, tracking their baby’s movements when eventually they stopped.
“I think that means BB likes the house.” Fliss looked at him.
Frank scoffed, shaking his head. “BB’s Momma likes the house.”
“Doesn’t his Daddy?” she asked, her hands sliding round his neck.
“Yeah, his Daddy does.” he replied honestly in a low voice as he looked around the large room. “In fact, I like it a lot.”
“You think Mary will?”
“Are you kidding?” Frank snorted “Soon as she sees that view and that pool, she’ll be packing to move in straight away.”
“Suppose there’s only one way to find out.” Fliss smiled.
So they did. They brought Mary back the next day after school. She had squealed at the window seat, yelled about the pool and as she had shot upstairs and headed into the bedroom Frank had predicted she would like, given a jump for joy as she realised from the upstairs she had a view over the tall picket fencing that shielded the private area of the garden.
“I can see Monty!” she gleefully pointed out before turning to Frank and looking at him then to Fliss, her hands on her hips “If you don’t buy this house you’re a pair of dumbasses.”
The same sentiment was echoed by Bill when he turned up fifteen minutes or so later and walked around with Frank whilst Fliss and Mary headed to feed the horses. He did exactly the same thing he had done when they had looked at the apartment, pointed out what they needed to do, how long it should take them to do, rough estimates of cost. Plus, he also reminded Frank they were in a great position. They could buy the place and then give his months’ notice on the apartment meaning they could stay where they were until it was finished.
So that was it. Decision made. The next morning they went in with a cheeky offer, some twenty thou below the asking price which was rejected instantly. Then they upped their offer by five…then an additional three to total eight, with the fact that they were cash buyers and not in a chain a huge bargaining chip.
It was later that evening, just after they had finished dinner when the realtor called back.
“Evening Mr Adler, ok so…I have spoken to the vendor. He says if you can up your offer by another two thousand then you’ve got a deal.” David spoke. At that, Frank let out a huge grin, as he looked out of the kitchen window at Mary and Fliss who were outside the apartment, both sat on a chair round the table. He and Fliss had both agreed they were prepared to go to the full asking price, in their mind it was worth it, but they were about to seal the deal here for ten thousand less.
 “Ok, two thousand more.” Frank said, keeping his voice level “But the property comes off the market as we don’t want anyone else spotting it and offering him more before we exchange contracts.” he repeated word for word what Greg had instructed him to do when he had asked him to handle the conveyancing earlier that morning.
“Ok, so the offer on the table is Three-ten on the proviso he grants exclusivity…” David repeated. “Ok, leave it with me.”
Frank finished loading the dishwasher, and had just grabbed himself a beer when David called back not even five minutes later.
“Congratulations Mr Adler, you have a deal.”
He thanked him, and grinning ear to ear headed outside, jumping down the steps onto the lawn.
“What you looking so pleased about?” Fliss looked up at him suspiciously.
“David called… we’ve settled on three-ten plus exclusivity” he smiled
“What, you mean…” Fliss’ mouth fell open and Frank nodded.
“Yup, subject to contracts, the place is ours!”
Mary gave a loud cheer as Fliss jumped up and leapt at him as he smiled, wrapping her in his arms, swinging her up slightly.
“I can’t believe it…” she whispered. “Our own home!”
“I know” he beamed, setting her down as he gave her a quick peck. “I’ll call Greg in the morning. When I talked to him about it he said that with no loans involved it shouldn’t take too long. We could be looking a having the keys in a month.” His hands dropped to her hips, palms resting either side of where his son was growing “So plenty of time to do his nursery.”
Fliss grinned and using the arms that were round his neck pulled his face down to hers and pressed a fierce kiss to his mouth. “God I love you.” she mumbled.
“Love you too.” he grinned, kissing her again, ignoring Mary’s fake puking noises in the background.
*****
June 2019
“Mr Adler?"
Frank stopped as he had been striding over the yard to collect Mary and turned to see Mrs McCarthy, her teacher walking towards him.
"Hi." He smiled, removing his sunglasses so he could look her in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry to bother you"
"No bother at all." He assured her "is everything OK?"
Mrs McCarthy glanced over to where Mary was stood talking to her friend, Rosie, and turned back to him
"Yes...nothing too drastic but I wanted to make you aware about a little incident in class this afternoon"
Frank looked at her, blinking "incident?"
"Maybe that's the wrong word." The older, blonde woman said "Look, as you know next week it's the end of year Gala, the fundraiser and we invite the parents to join us for activities.”
Frank nodded, wishing the woman would get to the damned point. He was hot, dirty and bothered after an afternoon of helping the team on a particularly awkward repair and wanted nothing more than to stand under a cold shower for an hour and flop down outside with a beer.
"Well, one of the girls asked Mary if she was bringing her mom and if they were making anything for the bake sale and Mary rather bluntly told the girl her mother was dead and then clammed up. She didn't speak a word for the rest of the afternoon."
Frank felt his chest tighten as he looked over at Mary who was now giggling with Rosie and sighed
"She didn't do anything wrong" Mrs McCarthy pressed "I was just a little worried."
"Thanks for letting me know, I'll talk to her later, make sure she's okay." Frank assured her.
The woman nodded and headed back across the yard as Frank gave a sharp whistle and slid his aviators back onto his face. Mary looked up and said goodbye to Rosie and came wandering over as Frank waved to Rosie's mom who tossed a hand in greeting in response.
"I'm not Thor" She fixed Frank with a stare.
"I know but I couldn't be bothered walking over." He replied honestly as they climbed into the truck
"You have a good day?"
"It was OK." She shrugged. Frank eyed her for a second before she pulled the car away from the kerb and set off down the road.
"What's for dinner?" Mary asked.
"Steak, baked potatoes and salad." He replies "Fliss' choice."
"Are you grilling?" Mary asked.
"Yup." He nodded
"Cool." Mary nodded "Can I go in the pool before?"
"Got any homework?" Frank countered with another question as he looked at her. Mary shook her head
“End of year next week and Uni didn't give me any summer work."
"Then yeah, of course you can.”
Frank didn't raise the so called incident, deciding to let her chill out a little bit at home first and digest how she felt. After 20 minutes or so of general chat Frank pulled up their driveway and stopped the truck next to Fliss' truck. As they hopped out Mary glanced across the garden over the smaller part of the fence where she could just see Fliss walking across the yard.
"Please can I go see Monty?" She looked at Frank and he nodded.
"I'll watch you." He agreed. With a grin she sprinted over the lawn, climbed over the fence and dropped over onto the other side. Thor gave a bark and Fliss turned round and smiled at her, before she waved at Frank. He waved back before he headed down the side of the house, through the gate in the larger fence before he unlocked the back door and stepped inside the cool air conditioned kitchen, kicking off his shoes and heading straight to the fridge for a beer. Draining half in one he stood, looking around and smiling. They’d finally unpacked the last box yesterday evening and Fliss was still in the process of moving things around their new home, positioning them where she wanted them.
True to Greg’s word, they’d had the keys to the house 4 and a half weeks after making the offer, and 2 weeks post that once the bedrooms and hall had been decorated with a lot of help from Bill, Verity and Roberta (who had been happy for them yet still cried her eyes out when they’d left the park, despite the fact they had assured her they would still come visit and she could also come stay with them too) they’d moved in. The only thing left to do was the reception room (which could wait, it was easy to just shut the door and pretend it didn’t exist) and Bean’s nursery, which he, Fliss and Mary had decided to do together as a project. Mary and Fliss had spent nights pouring over Pinterest for ideas and they’d finally settled on a scheme. Frank had picked up all the plastering supplies and the paint, the furniture was on order and should be arriving at any time that week now he thought about it…so hopefully that weekend they could get cracking. That might cheer Mary up now he thought about it.
Taking his beer with him, he picked up his boots and took them to the cloakroom/bathroom by the stairs. He trudged up the steps, shaking his head at Fred who was led at the top, his paws hanging over the edge of the step as he eyed Frank.
"You're gonna cause a fucking accident." He looked at the ginger cat who merely swished his tail in response. Frank headed into their bedroom, stripping off as he went, walking straight into the en-suite, turning on the shower, setting his beer down on the edge of the sink unit. He stepped in and under the stream of cool water, closing the screen behind him, his mind still on Mary and how he was going to bring up what her teacher has said. With a groan he opened the door, reached out of the cubicle for his beer, took another gulp before he set about washing the grime of the day away.
***** "Have you finished grooming him?" Fliss asked, standing in the doorway to Monty's stable. Mary glanced over from where she had been brushing through his white tail and nodded.
"Wanna take him to the paddock?" Fliss smiled. "Cap and Bronson are waiting for their little pal."
"Sure." Mary shrugged and Fliss frowned a little at her demeanour. She was quiet, which was unlike her when she was round the horses. She was normally full of excitement.
"You OK?" She asked and Mary nodded.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem quiet, that's all."
"No, I'm good." She shrugged, before she tossed her brush into the little grooming box she had, closing the lid and passing it to Fliss. Fliss placed the box into the larger wooden one outside the stable before Mary put Monty's halter on and led him out of his stall. Fliss allowed them to walk ahead, her hand on her bump as she followed them out of the yard and down the little path to the gate that led to the paddocks. They reached the one were Monty was going and undoing the gate, Mary led him in. The white pony stood patiently for her to take his halter off before he stuck his nose into the crook of her neck and shoulder. Fliss smiled as Mary gently stroked his neck and then to her utter horror she saw Mary’s shoulders begin to shake as the girl started to cry.
"Hey, Mary..." she soothed, stepping forward as the small girl turned to her, wrapping her arms around her as best she could, pressing her face into her bump "Oh baby what's wrong?"
Mary didn’t reply, instead she continued to sob and Fliss felt powerless to do anything other than wrap her arms around her, one hand resting on her head, the other between her shoulders.
“Something happened at School…” Mary whispered and Fliss gently tipped her head up to look at her. “Someone said something and…”
“Ok, how about we go back to the office and you can tell me all about it ok?”
Mary nodded, sniffing as her sobs died down. Fliss held out her hand and Mary took it and together they headed back down to the yard. Joanne looked at Mary who was hiccupping slightly with her sobs and frowned but Fliss shook her head.
“Can you feed the top barn for me and then you can go.” she said to Jo who nodded. “I’ll lock up.” “Sure, see you tomorrow. Bye Mary.” she smiled. Mary looked at her and gave a small wave before Fliss led her into the office. She grabbed them both an apple juice from the fridge and then Mary sat on the chair at the end of the desk, wiping her eyes with a tissue that Fliss handed her from the box.
“You ready to talk?”
Mary nodded, and then she stood up and walked over to Fliss who made room for her to clamber up onto her lap. It was a bit awkward but after a little shifting around they found a way she could sit unobstructed by Boston Bean and Mary lay her head against Fliss’ shoulder.
“It was about the gala.” she sniffed “One of them asked me if my mom was coming and…”
“Oh sweetie.” Fliss sighed, rubbing her back. “I get that must have been hard.”
Mary shrugged “I told them she was dead.” she said matter of factly “I get that and I never knew my mom so I don’t miss her as a person…but then I started to think about why she died and I don’t understand.” “Understand what?”
“Why?” Mary looked at her. “Why would she do what she did when she had me? Why did she want to leave me behind?”
Fliss took a deep breath and cradled the girl as best she could, trying to think of a way to explain to which Mary could relate, and then it came to her, she could use her own experience here. There was no getting around the fact this was going to be a heave conversation, but Mary was a smart kid and deserved to be treated as such.
With another deep inhale, Fliss looked down at her, kissing her head before she opened rather bluntly "You know I tried to kill myself."
"You did?" Mary pulled back to look up at her "Why?"
"Because I saw it as my only way out." Fliss gently smoothing Mary’s hair back. "I was stuck in an awful situation. My ex-husband hurt me physically and mentally and I gave up. I wanted out."
Mary remained silent and looked at her.
"For someone to get to that point...they have to have hit rock bottom. Like there is nowhere to go. It's not their fault. And it doesn't mean they don't love the people they leave behind just that they're desperate to escape whatever pain they feel, be it in their head or their body or both."
"But I still don't understand." Mary shook her head.
"And you may never, not fully." Fliss sighed gently "And as horrible as it is that's something you are gonna have to live with but you have to remember that your mom was sick. And for whatever reason she saw this as her only escape. It wasn't Evelyn's fault, it wasn't Frank's fault and it certainly wasn't yours."
"But if she loved me like Frank says she did..."
"You think I don't love my mum and dad? Or Steve? Charlie, Joel?"
Mary blinked before she lay her head back against Fliss' shoulder. "Of course you do.”
"But I was still gonna leave them behind. I was desperate. And you wanna know the real stupid thing?"
"What?"
"When I got better I still went back to John. I went back to a real toxic environment and a man that abused me. Because I felt like it was what I deserved. And even though I left him way before I met you and Frank, it wasn't until me and Frank started dating that I really understood I wasn't to blame. I always thought I did something to make him hurt me but I didn't. Being with Frank, the way he treats me and loves me made me see that it was him with the problem, not me.”
"But that's different" Mary glanced up
"The trigger was, yes." Fliss nodded "But your mom, like me, was in a position so helpless, so unbelievably sad that she thought she was to blame and that the world, including you, would be better off without her even though she was so wrong."
**** Once showered and dried, Frank dressed in a pair of shorts and clean T-shirt before he headed back downstairs. There was no sign of Fliss or Mary but as he strode out into the garden he heard a car heading down the drive by the side of the house from the yard and correctly assumed it was Joanne leaving for the day. He opened the gate and just saw the tail of her car turn onto the main road as he headed into the garage for the charcoal to light the BBQ.
Once that was done, leaving the flames to die down he headed out across the lawn, vaulting over the small fence onto the yard. He headed round the barn and frowned as he couldn't see anyone. After a quick look round he spotted the door to Fliss' office was closed. He went to open it but stopped as he could hear the sound of voices. It was Mary and Fliss but he could tell from the pitch and stutters in Mary's that she was upset. He paused, hand hovering over the handle as he heard Fliss speaking to her softly. "Stack, you are so loved. Frank loves you, I love you, Nanny V, Poppa Bill, Uncle Steeby, Roberta, Evelyn...Thor, Fred and Monty..." she paused "You're such a special little girl and I know I'm not your mom but, well, I feel like I am."
"You do?"
"I'd do anything to keep you safe and happy. And so would Frank"
They both fell silent and Frank swallowed, the lump in his throat almost choking him.
"Don't ever feel like we don't" Fliss continued "and if I have to bake 200 fucking cookies for your Gala next week to prove it then I will."
Mary giggles "You know Bean can hear you swearing."
"Well I won't tell Frank if you don't"
"Do you think Frank feels like my dad?" Mary asked a moment later and at that point Frank really wanted to walk away. He couldn't listen to this, he didn't want to listen to this...but something kept him rooted to the spot.
"I know he does." Fliss replied.
"But he doesn't like it when people say it. I know that, I heard him talking to you. Bill’s not your real dad but you still say he is…."
“That’s slightly different sweetheart.” Fliss sighed "My real dad left my mom before I was born, so when he died. I didn’t even know him and I don’t care that I didn’t either. But your mom was Frank's sister. He wants to make sure you remember her, understand who she was. He could have easily just pretended to be your dad all this time, you would never have known any different but he didn't. Because he loves you and your mom too much. He's too honest and it’s important to him that you understand. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you like he is your dad, or that you can't love him like he is."
Frank turned away from the door, looking up at the sky and taking a deep shuddering breath. Fuck, this was hard to hear. He knew Mary had been upset before but the thought that it ran this deep was killing me. Wiping at his face, his hands then dropped to his hips and he looked down at his sneakers before he turned to the door, reaching for the handle but once more pausing as he couldn’t face interrupting them, not whilst they were in the middle of a moment.
“I suppose that makes sense.” Mary continued  “And I do love him like he is. And I love you like you’re my mom too.”
“Well that’s all that matters.” Fliss replied “It may be unconventional but we’re a family, and that’s the main thing huh?”
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Lissy.” Mary spoke.
“You’re welcome Stack” Fliss’s voice was soft and there was a pause as Frank could picture the pair of them hugging.
“Hey, did you now I’m going to be doing all the money stuff for the bake stall?” Mary’s voice was suddenly up beat as she switched topic “Because I’m good at maths they said I could be in charge of payments and handing people their change and stuff.”
“Nice work kiddo.” Fliss smiled, “Tell you what, we’ll put Nanny V on the case, her baking is way better than mine. We can get her over one night next week whilst Pops is helping Frank with the plastering in the nursery.”
Ok, that was it, safe to enter without interrupting anything. Frank gave a little knock and then opened the door, fixing a smile on his face.
“Hope I haven’t interrupted any girl talk” he smiled and Mary jumped up and ran to him, giving him a hug. He looked at Fliss who wiped her eyes.
“Ok?” he mouthed at her and she nodded back, her lips moving silently as she replied.
“Tell you later.”
“BBQ is lit.” Frank said, looking down at Mary “You still wanna play in the pool?”
She nodded and grinned. “Yeah.”
“Sounds like a great idea.” Fliss grinned “Let’s lock up and head home…oh wait, we don’t need to head home because…” “We’re already there!” Mary grinned, and then she spun round to see Fred peering round the door. “Hey, look who came to visit!” “Bout time he earned his keep.” Frank grumbled “Go catch some mice.”
Fred stalked past him into the office, looked around, before he sauntered back out, clearly not interested.
“He’s a lover not a killer Frank.” Mary grinned, as Frank watched the cat walk off into the evening sun.
The three of them locked up before they headed back to the house and Mary shot upstairs to get changed.
“So, how much did you hear?” Fliss turned to Frank as he pulled a beer from the fridge along with a bottle of water, sliding it over to her.
“Enough.” he sighed “Her teacher collared me before. Said that one of the kids had asked about her mom in class and she’d gotten upset.”
“She asked me why Diane did what she did.” Fliss sighed, “Why she left her behind if she loved her so much.”
Frank swallowed. “What did you say?”
“I explained about why I tried to kill myself.” Fliss shrugged “Told her about the desperation I felt…but that didn’t mean that I didn’t love my family just that I saw it as my only way out. I know it was heavy and maybe not really the right thing to do but...”
She was cut off as Frank stepped forward, taking her face in his hands as he kissed her, hard. It took her a moment to catch up but once she did she melted into him, her mouth opening to grant him access as he ran his tongue along her bottom lip.
“Thank you.” He said gently as he pulled away, his hands still cupping her face.
“What for?” Fliss asked, reaching up to gently wrap her fingers around his wrists.
“For loving her as much as you do.” he shrugged. “For loving us both as much as you do.”
“Oh, Sailor.” Fliss’ eyes brimmed with tears “How could I not?”
***** Frank didn’t sleep particularly well that night. Mary’s conversation with Fliss was running through his brain and every time he drifted off he would wake about an hour or so later, fresh worries and concerns running through his mind. In the end, at just before 5 am he gave up and climbed out of bed. He grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of sweats and putting them on he headed downstairs. He flipped on the TV in the hope the early morning new would distract him, but it didn’t.
It was clear to him that Mary was struggling with where she was going to fit in the family dynamic. He hadn’t really worried much up to that point, being convinced by Fliss that if they kept her involved with stuff to do with Bean she would be ok but this went much deeper than the fact they were expecting a baby.
He’d be lying if he said the thought of him claiming to be Mary’s Father had never entered his mind. It would have been a lot easier but out of loyalty and love to Diane he had wanted to make sure she knew about her mother, and understood the truth because in the end, a lie would always come round to bite you on the ass. It wasn’t that he had a problem with people assuming he was Mary’s father but…
God what a fucking mess.
“Hey…” a soft voice drew him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Fliss stood in the doorway, his T-shirt she was wearing now hardly covered the top of her thighs thanks to her Bean bump.
“Sorry beautiful, did I wake you?” he asked.
“No.” she shook her head, dropping down next to him. “I got up to pee and you were gone.”
“Couldn’t sleep.” he shrugged.
“What’s wrong handsome?”  she lay her head on his shoulder and he took a deep breath.
“Just thinking about Mary that’s all.” he shrugged. “She’s always asked questions about Diane but not like that.”
“She’s getting older Frank.” Fliss said, her hand reaching out for his as she began to play with his fingers “She’s bound to start thinking about things differently. She was ok last night after she talked to me, and then later you when you tucked her in. She doesn’t keep her feelings bottled up, and that’s good. It’s a testament to you that she feels like she can talk to us about things.”
“I know.” Frank looked down at her, kissing her head “I guess I just worry Lissy, worry about how she’s gonna feel when Bean is here and he’s calling us mom and dad and she doesn’t.”
“Frank.” Fliss sighed as she sat up straight. “Mary knows we love her. And what she calls us doesn’t change a damned thing. You’re worrying unduly now. We can’t do anything about that other than-“
“Yes, yes we could.” Frank looked at her. Fliss took a deep breath as his eyes locked onto hers, instantly understanding.
“I thought you said you’d never even consider adopting her?”
“I never thought I would.” he shrugged. “But it’s been playing on my mind after what mother said and then after last night…” “Why? What did Evelyn say?” Fliss asked.
“When she was here last, she told me that Diane’s memory wouldn’t suddenly fade if Mary called me dad…” he licked his lips “It was almost like she was giving me permission to do it…you know? Not that I need it or really give a shit what she thinks.” he paused, taking a deep breath “If I’m totally honest Diane isn’t the only reason I said I didn’t want to. I just never thought of myself as being dad material. I was such a screw up until I met you and I thought that by staying as her Uncle, it would give her that distance, you know?”
“Not dad material?” Fliss looked at him, shaking her head “Oh Frank, you idiot. You’ve done an amazing job with her…and you will do with Bean too.”
He smiled at her, sniffing slightly as she continued.
“But there is one person who’s opinion counts most here.” Fliss said gently “And that’s Mary. If you’re serious then you should ask her if it’s what she wants. Because after 9 years of calling you Frank…”
“I know.” Frank agreed, “And I agree, completely. It would have to be her decision. But at least if I ask her if she would like us to then-“
“Us?” Fliss looked at him, blinking. “You mean you want me to?”
“Of course I do.” Frank nodded, before he frowned slightly “But if that isn’t what you want, I understand. It’s a big-“ Fliss cut him off by pressing a kiss to his lips “Of course I do Frank. I love Mary like she is my own anyway so…” Frank beamed at her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head. “So, we’re agreed. We ask her?”
Fliss nodded and pulled back, her hand resting on his cheek. “We ask her.”
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Chapter 8
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jubileestreetv · 4 years
Text
The Flowers
Here it is, the final part to my Ode To Divorce series.  Now while this is officially the last part, I'm keeping the series as incomplete, since there's something I'd like to try with this story. But, that's another thing for another day.
Thanks to everyone reading my work, I hope this one is as good as the previous ones! Enjoy!
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Warnings: angst, language, meddling families, sort of a Knives Out AU (non canon compliant except for one detail), inspired by the song The Flowers by Regina Spektor Word Count: 8.9k+ (I’m so sorry)
Ode To Divorce | Poor Little Rich Boy | The Flowers
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She opens her eyes to see darkness, a layer of sweat sticking white bedsheets to her body. There’s a heaviness over her chest that forces her to take a moment to breathe correctly, it’s hard, but she’s been dealing with it for a while now.
Practice makes perfect.
The red glow from the digital clock at the nightstand keeps her sight from adjusting to the darkness a little better, but it focuses enough to notice what time it is. Thirteen minutes till 7 a.m., the alarm will start ringing then, so she decides to just get up already.
She feels slightly disoriented, not remembering exactly when she fell asleep the night before, judging by the way her eyes burn and head throbs, she knows it was late. 
There’s already sunlight peeking from underneath the curtains, and she can’t help but feel that childish amazement she felt the first time she realized just how dark the room could stay with the correct set of expensive curtains.
It’s the little things that still get to her, and make her realize she’ll never get used to living a life like this.
Good thing is she doesn’t plan to, even if she has all the means to do so safely kept in a savings account at the bank, and a house that would probably need eight times as many fancy curtains as the room she’s currently staying at has.
With the press of one small button by the bed, the curtains start to open, making a soft whirring sound as the penthouse room fills with light. The colors of the walls and decorations are monochromatic, the smell pristine, the sheets feel brand new. It’s nice, but still a hotel. Not at all cozy or comforting.
She misses her home, and wishes she’d have the strength to go back to it, even for just one night. But she can’t, and hasn’t even dared to drive by and check it out from the outside in a while.
Eight months to be exact.
It’s been eight months since she’s been in her (their) house. Cooked in her (their) kitchen. Slept on her (their) bed. Drank a cup of warm peppermint tea on her (their) porch. Taken a long warm bath in the huge tub he got installed just for her before he even told her he’d bought a house. Woken up to that weight over her being him, perfectly settled and soundly sleeping with his head on her chest.
She chastises herself for thinking about it so much, trying to be grateful, since the one paying for the place she’s staying at is Harlan. 
Harlan.
The thought of him brings a small smile to her face and a tenuous warmth to her heart, just enough to keep surviving. Ever since she expressed her desire to divorce Ransom, he offered his help. The day the papers were signed, and she drove back home to pack a bag without knowing what was her next move in the middle of a breakdown, he’d been the one to help her think everything more clearly, and even found her a place to stay where no one would bother her.
It was surprising to have him on her corner from the get go, considering she divorced who everyone knows is the grandkid closest to him. Some would even go as far to mockingly refer to him as The Favorite. So she felt lucky to have him, selflessly taking care of her and supporting her without hesitation, even after all that had happened in half a year.
The day after the party where their tumultuous relationship began, Harlan asked Ransom to accept a position at Blood Like Wine, begging him to help her get Walter off her back after the promotion. A glorified secretary/bodyguard was the way Ransom bitterly described the position before rejecting it, to then accept it 8 hours later. But by the time they married, he’d shown enough growth to become his grandfather’s second supervisor, sharing half the responsibilities with her.
When she asked for the divorce, however, Ransom simply stopped showing up to work, his actions speaking loud for his lack of communication skills.
She thought she would lose her job, Walter already preparing for her demise and making sure to find a way to prove to his father he could handle both their positions on his own. But she didn’t, and by the time the divorce was finalized and she needed her space, Harlan had already figured out a way for her to keep working for him without having to step a foot in the publishing house. 
It was complicated, to say the least. An intern would come back and forth into the hotel to leave all the paperwork she’d need for the day, and her computer had access to all the systems and cameras within the company. Harlan and her would talk on the phone when strictly necessary, to talk only business.
They both got the hang of it quite fast, and Walter was left to simmer in his defeat. 
When Harlan wanted to check on her, he’d write letters. First just once a week, hoping to respect her time and space, but soon enough, there would be one at the top of her morning paperwork everyday, and she would have a reply ready to be sent before the intern's last trip from her place.
She couldn’t help but feel bad for the intern, running back and forth because she was too much of a coward to face life (and his family) after the divorce. But that guilt wouldn’t last, when one day the intern would have to be replaced by different people everyday.
Ransom’s back. 
The opening line on Harlan’s urgent letter read.
Perhaps you already noticed, given your daily workload this morning was half of what you’re used to. 
He just walked in and carried on as usual. I wasn’t notified, no one was. You can guess how Walter reacted, along with how surprised I am. One of our new guards nearly called the cops on him, thinking some stranger had managed to break in and rob the main offices.
If, and only if, you’re okay with it, I’d like to give him a trial week, For I do not know what his intentions are. 
I’m not sure what will come of this, or what he wants, since I haven’t spoken to him, and I have to admit I’m being driven by curiosity.
But, like I said, it’s on you. And regardless of how he performs this week (if given the chance), you just have to say the word and I’ll make sure he stays away from the company, since I still hope you’ll be able to come back and resume your work when you’re ready.
I’ll be patiently waiting on your response. Despite this unexpected situation, do place your priorities on your job. Walter is already making sure Ransom is not just around to cause a mess, even though I did not ask him.
Harlan.
She already knew he was back, and had her own suspicions about Ransom’s intent. 
That morning, after a long night of not sleeping again, she felt a need to check the cameras. It was early, and knew no one would be inside the building, yet still kept on browsing them, not really knowing what she was looking for. But then she saw him, sharply dressed and visibly decided as he walked to his office.
Ransom sat in his office for a while, checking his computer and perusing the files he’d left behind when he stopped showing, until it was time for everyone else to arrive. She watched what she presumed was the fight with Walter, and, after everyone had arrived, she noticed him walking by her office, carefully but surely peeking inside of it.
Throughout the day she watched him do nothing but work, every now and then taking a lap around the offices, specifically hers.
He was looking for her, she was sure of it. Later at night, when the intern came for his last pick up, her response to Harlan’s letter was ready, as usual. 
I could use the help.
That was it, and a week later Ransom was back on his position with his grandfather's approval. Blood like Wine didn’t take long to go back to the dynamic it previously had, and even better, since everything on Ransom’s side had nearly doubled its productivity within the first month, matching what she’d accomplished with hers.
Soon enough, all of Harlan’s letters would talk about him at least once.
He avoids talking about you and your involvement at the company. It’s almost funny to see him stumble with his own words as he tries to guide me through his work around you.
She laughed at the mental image of Ransom struggling to speak. It hurt to think he probably couldn’t stomach her name.
There was a fight at dinner last night, Linda made a comment that he didn’t like and keyed her new van as he left.
She wondered what their fight was about, but couldn’t find the courage to ask.
I went to a library to do research for a new book, he offered to drive me and stayed. We read together in silence, and didn’t fight once.
That was unusual, but she was happy for them.
He mentioned you by name for the first time today.
She didn’t reply to that, just the rest of the letter.
Ransom asked about you. I didn't tell him anything about where you are, just that you're alive. But if you'd like me to, I could come up with an elaborate plot about your sudden death as a joke.
She considered it. Too cruel, or was it? They didn’t carry on with it.
We had dinner together alone on Saturday, like old times. I was surprised to find out he can’t handle his whiskey like he used to. 
Said he misses you.
She tried not to, but after that time she’d look at the cameras when a part of her finally admitted to miss him. All he did was his job, and damn, was he improving and visibly trying his hardest to make up for his absence. Every time, without missing, once everyone was supposed to have arrived, he would take a glance towards her office.
I think he figured out how paperwork gets to you. I will be sending different interns everyday to you, as a preventive measure. I don’t want him pulling off something that could upset you.
Something told her Ransom wouldn’t simply show, not after what happened at the coffee shop. She didn’t know why she was so certain that he would respect her choice, but she was.
Still, a little after he figured out how they communicated, Harlan stopped writing so often about him. And the flowers began.
One morning, the intern of the day arrived with her paperwork, Harlan’s letter, and a bouquet of freshly picked flowers. She assumed they were from Harlan, but the letter made it clear they weren’t. Apparently Ransom had asked him to have them delivered, his reasoning behind accepting being that maybe that would keep him from looking for her, and that she could use something to bring some life into the penthouse.
You could also set them on fire and mail the ashes back to him. 
Another great idea from the patriarch of the Thrombey family, part of her realized that’s where Ransom had inherited his pettiness.
Soon enough, she would get flowers every two days, not even giving a chance to the prior ones to wilt. The days when the messenger didn’t come by, they would be waiting for her at the reception desk, always delivered through Harlan.
But one day they stopped, and Harlan didn’t acknowledge it in his letters.
It was weird, almost off putting. She found herself considering writing what she wanted to ask, why did he stop? Had he grown tired of trying? Did he still talk about her? Ask about her? Miss her? Was he seeing someone else now?
But she didn’t mention it either, convinced that, whatever Harlan’s reason was, it was enough.
She blinks twice as she keeps staring outside the window in front of the bed, and checks the clock to see how long she spaced out. It’s 8:42 a.m., and the intern that’s supposed to have arrived hasn’t.
The woman quickly leaps out of bed, snatching her robe from one of the chairs in the room to check the hall. Perhaps someone did come and she was so distracted she didn’t even hear it. 
She then notices her alarm didn’t go off, which is odd, and when she checks her phone for any lost calls or messages that she realizes it’s a Saturday. No one is coming.
A heavy sigh of relief leaves her chest, as she sits on the floor in the middle of the suite. Her mind has been so occupied with everything that she no longer feels time passing. Laughter bubbles from her chest. 
It’s not funny.
She bites her lip as she glances around the room, and after a moment of wandering, her eyes finally focus on something. At the table next to the entrance door, there’s a vase, and inside of it sits the last bouquet of flowers Ransom sent her. 
It was an arrangement of white tulips and purple hyacinths, by far one of the simplest ones he’d sent her. They were beautiful, fresh and vibrant. Some of the bulbs hadn’t opened quite fully, so she took care of them to the best of her abilities to make sure they did. But just one of them bloomed, the rest died along with the rest of the arrangement. 
By now, they are completely dried and rotting, and she refuses to throw them away.
What if they’re the last thing she’ll ever get from him?
The fleeting thought is enough to bring tears to her eyes. All the conflicting emotions she’s tried her hardest to repress since she stopped hearing from him clashing with each other as she sits alone on the carpeted floor.
She misses Ransom, hasn’t stopped doing so since they signed the papers and she left. But he’s… Ransom, and she knows he’s complicated. No matter how many flowers he sends, or how hard he works, or what changes Harlan seems to notice in his behaviour, it’s not enough for her to know what’s going on inside his brain.
Something changed in him, that’s for sure, but they haven’t seen each other in so long she has no idea what it is, or where they stand. The flowers never come with notes or letters, he never tries to call or look for her, which she’s thankful for, because communication with him would make things harder. Still, the lack of it certainly doesn’t make them any easier.
He’s been more than helpful at the company, respectful of her space and the way she’s choosing to live her life, if anyone can call it that. But then that small detail that let her know he was constantly thinking of her was taken away, and she has no idea why.
A loud, repetitive tone coming from her phone startles her, forcing her back to reality once again. She checks to see what it is, and it’s surprised to find a reminder from her calendar.
Harlan’s Birthday.  
She nearly chokes on her own saliva, trying to comprehend how she managed to completely forget about it. Harlan hasn’t stopped mentioning it since the month began, sent her the invitation to the party as soon as they were ready, and she even bought his gift two weeks ago, so it could arrive at his house on time, as an apology to her absence.
Before she knows it, she’s calling him, hoping he’ll pick up instead of ignoring his phone like he usually does when it’s not working hours.
“Hi?” A timid, sweet voice comes from the other side of the line, it’s Marta. “(Y/N)?” The woman can hear her surprise. Staying away from Ransom and the company meant staying away from everyone involved, so she hasn’t seen or talked with her either.
“Marta, hi. How you been?” She feels guilty for not keeping up with her, since she had nothing to do with it.
“I’m fine, fine. How are you? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, I thought you died.” Her voice starts shaking, like she’s about to start crying any moment now. “¿Qué son esas cosas de desaparecer sin avisar? ¿Así te criaron en tu casa?” It’s refreshing to hear how her tone shifts as she takes a moment to chew her out.
“Perdóname, it’s a long story,” she chuckles, wondering why she avoided talking to her all this time.
“I can imagine,” the girl simply says. God bless her, never prying on matters that don't involve her. “What's up? Did you need Harlan?” 
“Yeah, could you put him on the phone? I want to say happy birthday.”
A hum is her reply, and some random noises on the phone later Harlan picks up. “Blood like Wine publishing house, this is Bilbo Baggins speaking.”
She chuckles softly at his mock greeting, he’s in a good mood. “Good morning Mr. Baggins, this is Diamond, from your local Dance Club for Fine Gentlemen. Just calling to confirm the 85 strippers for one Harlan Thrombey’s birthday party.”
“Ah, yes. I’ve been waiting for your call, you see. I was hoping to offer you a deal?”
“I’m listening.”
“I was hoping to trade the 85 lovely ladies for the company of just one. She doesn’t work for you but perhaps you could help me convince her.” Harlan’s tone is still playful, but she knows he’s being serious. 
Silence suddenly engulfs the line, as she takes a sharp breath in. So far he hadn’t asked her to attend, not even after the invitation was sent. This is the most direct request she’s going to get from him, since he knows the extent of her boundaries even better than herself.
“What did she say?” She can faintly hear Marta ask, making her realize she hasn’t said a thing in a while.
Harlan’s response is more silence.
“I...” Her voice dies, so she keeps quiet a bit longer.
She can see something move from the corner of her eye, a dry petal from the now dirty and brownish tulips falls to the floor, demanding her entire attention. Her heart skips a beat, and her mouth moves before she can process it.
“I’ll definitely see what I can do, Mr. Baggins.”
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“Take this exit, take it,” she says out loud, completely alone inside her car.
Her hands hurt from gripping the steering wheel so hard, her heart is pounding inside her chest, and her brain is racing faster than her vehicle is. She’s been driving for over an hour, the first half of her trip crossing the distance between her place and Harlan’s house, and the rest just going in circles trying to bring herself to actually arrive.
The roads are wet, so she’s trying to drive as carefully as she can, the robotic GPS voice recalibrating and changing the route options to Harlan’s every so often.
She doesn’t know what possessed her to go all the way over there, but here she is, sharply dressed and talking herself into driving back to the hotel instead. The old man’s soft voice resonates in her ears as she makes a U-turn back to town, and she’s once again obeying the voice to find a way to turn back around. 
The GPS is suddenly interrupted by a text notification from an unknown number.
Your package has been delivered.
“Shit,” she mumbles. The gift got there before she did, and it has a card, deeply apologizing for not being able to show.
That’s it, she has to go, get there as quickly as she can before he can see the card and make him experience a moment of disappointment, however miniscule it might be. He doesn’t deserve that from her, and she has to stop being a coward.
With a newfound courage at hand, she hits the gas and ignores every single exit offering a way out, swiftly making the turn into the Thrombey estate. Her mind seems to go blank as her entire body moves in automatic, skillfully driving through the narrow, muddy road to the house, and before she knows it, she’s parking wherever there’s available space.
Everyone seems to be there already. The dogs are outside, quickly spotting her. When she gets out of her car, instead of barking like they used to when she arrived by her ex-husband’s side, they start whimpering, happily overwhelmed after not seeing her in over 8 months.
They throw themselves at her feet, begging to be pet, so she carefully kneels down to do so, balancing her entire weight in the new heels she bought just for the party. One of the dogs attempts to lick her face, placing his paws over one of her shoulders. The movement it’s so sudden she nearly falls to the side, only to find support from a familiar white car.
It’s Ransom’s.
“No one knows you’re here yet,” the thought finds its way out of her lips.
She shakes her head, hoping those intrusive thoughts will exit from her ears like a cartoon character. 
The dogs cry when she finally stands, circling her legs as she walks towards the main door, growing significantly anxious at who’s gonna open the door when she rings the bell. Her hand shakes when she finally finds the strength to press the small white button, and is able to hear how the loud conversations die down after the sound it makes.
“Coming!” It’s Fran who yells.
A heavy sigh leaves her chest, silently thanking the heavens that it’s not anyone from the family that happened to be near the entrance. 
“Oh my God,” she tries to whisper when she sees her standing outside, but it comes out too loud. Fran is quick to pull her into a bone-crushing hug, whispering how glad she is to see her, and that she decided to come. 
Harlan’s mother is sitting right next to the entrance, letting the hors d'oeuvre fall from her hand into her plate as she seems to recognize her. “Ransom, your wife is here,” she sweetly says, a smile slowly painting over her face.
“Hi great nana,” she can’t bring herself to correct her. No one heard that anyways.
“Come, come! He’s gonna be so thrilled to see you,” Fran pushes her into the living room, not giving her a chance to hug Wanetta. “Harlan, it’s for you.” The housekeeper says excitedly.
All the things she’d planned to say completely disappear from her mind as she’s met with the eyes of the entire Thrombey clan. There’s nothing but disgust in the majority of their faces, except for four of them; Harlan’s smile so big he looks like he’s on morphine, Marta’s soft and welcoming eyes, Meg’s stoned and surprised expression, and Ransom’s, whose blue eyes are open so wide they might pop from their sockets.
“Good afternoon, sorry to disturb.” I know it’s a family event only. The rest of her sentence is left unsaid, aware of what everyone is probably thinking.
“You should be,” Jacob’s quiet voice comes from the corner of the room, his phone so close to his face it almost hits his nose.
Everyone ignores him, except for Linda, who scoffs as she clearly attempts not to laugh. She tries her best not to stare at anyone in particular, her eyes traveling from one Thrombey another as she waits. 
“Did you need anything?” Linda asks after taking a moment to toughen her voice. “It's a… little late to be doing house calls, don't you think?” Venom drips for her voice, her entire semblance immediately hostile.
It's no secret Linda has always disliked her, for several reasons, the most recent one being the hard time she gave her poor baby with the divorce (that she claims saw coming from the very beginning).
“(Y/N), we're in the middle of a family reunion.” Walter immediately follows, approaching her slowly as if trying to move her into another room. “You could've sent me a message if you needed anything.”
Her eyes move from Walter to Harlan, and almost immediately after, towards Ransom. She watches him fidget in his seat, his now bearded jaw visibly clenching, and his knuckles turning white as his hand curls into a tight fist.
“That's enough,” his grandfather finally says, standing up with Marta's help. “It is a family reunion, that's why I invited her. Come dear, give me my hug and have a drink.”
His word is final, she can tell by the way everyone immediately shut their mouths.
She avoids any direct eye contact with anyone else that isn’t Harlan as she crosses the living room to meet him. His smile seems to have gotten wider, if possible, and he welcomes her with open arms before she can say anything else. 
He smells like coffee and pine, and the peacefulness his embrace brings is so familiar she continues to ask herself why she left for so long.
“Happy birthday, Harlan.” Her voice is soft and quiet, trying to keep herself together and not cry in front of his family.
“It is now, dear,” Harlan says sincerely, continuing to smile as they finally separate. “Your present was more punctual with your gift, how does that work?”
“I bought it weeks ago,” is all she says.
“Bueno pues, ¿dormimos juntas o qué?” Marta jumps from his seat, eager for a hug of her own. “Harlan you better fix her contract at the company, add a clause that forces her to call me at least once a week.”
The three of them laugh, while the rest of the family tries their best to carry on with their conversations, despite their evident opposition to Harlan’s guest.
“That won’t be necessary, I promise I’ll text. I just thought…” 
“I know,” the pretty nurse smiles, holding her hands and giving her a small squeeze in reassurance. “Those who love you get it.”
“Excuse me.” Ransom suddenly mutters, as he stands from his seat to exit the living room, avoiding everyone’s gazes. 
(Y/N) freezes, immediately tensing up at the sudden reminder that he was mere inches from her. The scent of his perfume lingers in the air as he walks past her, and she has to take a slow, silent breath after it’s gone. It’s hard, but she manages not to turn and stare as he walks away.
“Ransom?” His mother’s voice raises, urgency and concern in her tone.
“I’m just going to the bathroom, calm down Linda.” He’s quick to say, and she’s surprised at the lack of both curse words in his reply, and anger in his voice.
He seems just fine.
“Come then, sit down. Let’s talk, sweetheart.”
Her focus comes back to Harlan and Marta, who are now urging her to sit where Ransom was.
It doesn’t take her long to find herself comfortable at the party. After a couple drinks and conversations with the people she missed the most, she finds herself laughing and actually having a good time. Dinner’s been served and Harlan’s cake has been cut, so now everyone is simply drinking the house down. There’s no need for them to go back home, since everyone is staying the night.
She should really stop drinking, however, considering she’s the only one who won’t.
But she’s enjoying herself. All her fears and anxieties are mostly gone, and the glares and silent comments directed towards her at the beginning of the night have completely stopped by now. She thinks the champagne might be taking a toll on her already, since a part of her is convinced the one behind it is Ransom. Who has not stopped jumping from one conversation to another, usually asking them to repeat themselves or even speak louder, inevitably forcing them to change the subject. 
The last time it happened was about an hour ago, before Fran pulled her into a conversation about this Brazillian guy she met while she was gone, who happens to have a beautiful, muscular, and tanned younger brother that could be just perfect for her.
(Y/N) is trying her best to focus on the long and detailed description Fran is giving her, but she can’t. It’s useless to deny she hasn’t been able to even think about meeting another man since the divorce. But Fran doesn’t need to know that, not when she’s too excited about the possibility of a blind/double date between them.
“And I’m telling you, he’s super nice and respectful. I don’t know how they raise their kids in Brazil, but these two? Out of a freaking fairy tale.”
There’s no denial the man sounds lovely, but again, all she can think about right now is the one incessantly walking around the party. 
He hasn’t tried to approach her since she arrived, which makes her feel confused. There’s so much she wants to say and ask, but a part of her thinks he’s trying his best to avoid her without completely fleeting the party. It’s his grandfather's birthday, after all, and judging by Harlan’s letters, their relationship is now better than ever. 
Maybe that being the only reason he hasn’t left just yet.
“Speak of the Devil, I’ll be back,” Fran says as she picks up her phone, and walks towards the kitchen to take her call with a newfound excitement.
(Y/N) allows herself to take a look around the room. As per usual, Meg’s already gone, her mother having the time of her life dancing next to the fireplace by herself. It’s painful to watch, considering the rest of the guests are doing their best to look away.
Linda is talking to Walter and Donna, presumably about work. That’s all they ever talked about when she attended their parties and events as Ransom’s wife. Sometimes it seems as if that’s the only reason they speak to each other at all.
Their kid Jacob is by the stairs, texting his life away, while Marta sits by Wanetta sharing a comfortable silence. She considers joining them, but then she feels the need to look to the one place she’d been avoiding. 
Her eyes travel from Marta and great nana to Harlan and then, finally , towards Ransom.
He’s staring right back at her.
She feels a shiver run down her spine, and tries her hardest to look away from his piercing blue eyes. But she can’t, and it seems like he doesn’t plan to stop looking at her either.
Ransom’s gaze is enthralling. Hell, it always has been. With baby blue eyes and long brown eyelashes, her knees never failed to go weak whenever he looked at her. It’d been so long she doubted it would be the same, but it is. 
That beard he let grow isn’t helping at all, either. It fits him so well, making him seem much more mature and reserved. Ransom looks nothing like the young man she married, and she wonders if it’s the frown he’s looking at her with, the dark beard on his face, or perhaps how his eyes seem to shine differently from how they used to.
After what feels like an eternity he finally looks away, his attention suddenly being demanded by something Harlan said. He takes one last final glance at her, his features softening, and then focuses back on his grandfather.
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“Harlan, I need to give you your meds.” Marta begs for the umpteenth time, taking him by the arm and trying to take him upstairs.
“But if I go she’ll leave!” He says, gesturing towards (Y/N).
“No, no. Don’t even try to use me as an excuse,” she’s quick to reply, smiling while supporting his nurse, knowing the hard time he gives her sometimes. “Come on, you gotta take your stuff.”
“It’ll put me to sleep, and then you’ll be gone again.” There’s a ridiculous pout on his face, it makes her laugh at his melodramatic performance.
Marta looks at her with pleading eyes, knowing he won’t bulge until he gets like he wants.
“Listen, I’ll make you a deal. What if you go up, let Marta give you your meds and then I’ll join you both upstairs ‘till you fall asleep. How’s that sound?”
He thinks it over for a moment, looking between the two of them staring at him with large doe eyes. “Throw in a game of Go!,” he says as he points at Marta. “And, you won’t leave until Marta does.”
The women share a glance, as if silently communicating what they think about his terms. After a small moment they both nod, and then smile at him. “Deal,” they say in unison.
He gets up from his seat and quickly heads upstairs, a shit eating grin over his face. (Y/N) stops at the bottom of the stairs, suddenly overwhelmed by the entire night that she dreaded.
By then everyone is in their rooms, except Walter who's outside having one of those cigars everyone in the house hates, and Ransom, who apparently left without anyone noticing.
“Hey, I’m gonna step outside real quick. Call me when you’re done so I can join you in Harlan’s room?” She asks Marta, who is quick to grow wary of her request.
“You’re not gonna leave us hanging just now, are you?” She asks seriously.
“No, I promise. I just need some air,” (Y/N) chuckles at the sweet nurse’s attempt to be menacing.
“Okay then, I’ll come get you once Harlan is in bed. Also, go to the back, Walter is up front.” Her voice is low as she warns her, quickly catching up to the old man who’s already upstairs.
(Y/N) looks towards the front door, noticing a trail of smoke going up to the sky, so she turns around on her heels and walks to the back door, desperate to feel the cold winter air in her lungs. 
She carefully opens the door, hoping the dogs won’t hear her go outside, needing just a moment for her to relax. The sky is full of stars and grey dark clouds, threatening to start raining or snowing anytime soon.
It's all over, she thinks, closing her eyes and letting the silence take her in.
“(Y/N).”
A loud gasp leaves her lips, and she almost trips with her own feet as she quickly turns around. Her heart starts beating rapidly, both from the surprise, and from already knowing who's the one who called her.
Sitting on the patio chairs, beneath the shadows, Ransom emerges, an apologetic look on his face. He holds his hands up, as if surrendering to someone. His brows are nearly touching his hairline, cheeks and nose red from the cold.
He looks ridiculous, and she'd laugh if she wasn't so suddenly nervous.
“Jesus, Ransom.”
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I–” He lets out a deep breath, standing from his seat. “You look like you want to be alone and I don't wanna bother you.”
He knows her better than anyone, she remembers.
Whenever the parties became too much for her to handle, they would always step outside. Sometimes he'd let her go out by herself, when he also happened to be guilty that the mood at the parties turned too hostile to bear.
She has one hand over her chest, as if trying her heart from beating out her chest, too dumbfounded to say anything. Ransom's expression changes to a more serious one, almost ashamed. One she'd never seen before on him.
“I’ll leave, sorry.”
That's two apologies in a row, and she doesn't even think before she finally speaks: “You don't have to.” 
Please don't.
He seems to swallow harshly, and simply nods as he remains frozen in his spot, his hands falling back to his sides.
“You were here first, I’ll go–”
“I don't want you to.”
His honesty takes her aback, forcing her to take a second to process this entire moment. He's staring at her, brushing a hand through his beard while waiting for her response.
So she stays.
They're both quiet, no longer looking at each other. There's a tension in the air that wasn't there a moment ago, yet it's not uncomfortable, just unknown.
The memory of the day their relationship began hits her like a punch, causing her to start fidgeting in place. It's too much, and she can't find within herself the strength to speak or leave.
“I thought you left,” she finally says, her eyes completely focused on the ground.
“I…” He hesitates to answer, seemingly surprised she's talking to him. “Guess I had too much to drink,” Ransom admits quietly. “I either have to sober up or sleep in Harlan's study.”
She can't help but chuckling, not missing the way he looks at her curiously. “I think this is the first time I've heard you admit you had too much to drink.”
“And not willing to drive home intoxicated?” he adds, a teasing smirk growing on his face. She nods, turning away to keep herself from looking into his eyes once again. “Yeah, been a while since I've done something stupid.”
“I doubt that.”
He crosses his arms over his chest at her response, grunting while trying his best to keep himself from smiling. 
“Sorry. I think I had a little too much to drink myself.”
Ransom relaxes, and takes a tentative step towards her, his eyes like daggers against her side. When she doesn't move away, he takes a second one, cutting the distance between them in half.
“I’m glad you're here.”
She looks at him, once again letting herself get lost in his eyes. There's a knot in her throat that won't allow her to speak, and even if she could, she doesn't really know what to say.
“You look good,” she admits quietly, as if talking to herself rather than him.
“Bullshit.” 
She frowns, meeting his eyes silently wondering why he says so. 
“I look like shit. You're the one who looks great.”
A soft smile tugs the corners of her lips, equally amused and weirded out by his behaviour. “I said good, not great.”
He laughs, and it's so honest and unreserved, she can't ignore the warmth spreading through her body. She's missed him, more than she's prepared to admit right now.
Another silence makes its way between them, more comfortable than the one before. Ransom shoves his hands into the pockets of his coat, and bashfully looks down at his feet.
“(Y/N).” Her name softly falls from his lips, hesitantly, as if she will disappear or run away scared if he talks too loud. She simply blinks in response, waiting for whatever he wants to say. “I missed you.”
Bastard. 
She's not fully convinced he's not aware of what he's doing to her.
“Tell me if I'm overstepping, and I'll stop. But there's so much I wanted to say when I saw you again, and now I'm fucking struggling to find the right words to do so.” 
He brushes a hand through his hair, it's longer than before, yet still perfectly combed. Now that they're closer she can notice a couple of grey hairs near his sideburns, making her wonder if age is the reason behind them. She knows hers are definitely not because of that .
“It's fine,” she croaks, quickly clearing her throat before continuing. “I'm… how have you been?” Is the only thing she can think to ask.
“It's complicated.” Ransom admits, sitting back down and glancing at the seat next to him, silently inviting her to join. “It's been hard. I know I fucked up and it seems like life wanted to show me just how bad.”
“I'm sorry,” she says sincerely, sitting next to him, careful not to make any contact. 
“Don't be, I fucking earned it,” he laughs bitterly, taking a deep sigh and looking up to the sky. “I fucked everything up, and even when I was aware of what I was doing, I didn't stop.”
She keeps quiet, letting him vent to try and understand what's going on inside his mind.
“Do you want to hear this?” He asks, clearly having a hard time letting himself be vulnerable. “You don't have to, but I really want to apologise and I need you to believe I'm really fucking trying to be honest here–”
“I do,” she's quick to reply. “Say what you want to say.”
He takes a sharp breath in, focusing on his hands before continuing. “After we signed the divorce I felt terrible, but I didn't let myself accept it. So I just tried to carry on with the life I had before I met you.”
(Y/N) wants to feel surprised, but can't. Part of her always felt Ransom regretted their marriage because he missed the life he used to have. Something she never said out loud.
“It went terribly,” that she didn't expect. “It's not what I needed anymore, not even what I wanted. I'd changed without even noticing, but it was all I ever knew before you. So, I just kept drinking myself stupid so I wouldn't miss you.”
Ransom turns to look at her, waiting to see if she has anything to say before he goes on. And she does, but everything he's putting out in the open has her speechless once more.
“I nearly got into an accident once or twice–” He holds a hand up in the air, asking for a moment before she can't say anything– “I didn't, but I did end up arrested once. After bailing me out, Harlan sent me to therapy,” he continues, raising a brow while expecting her reaction. She fails to seem unfazed, and it makes him laugh again. “At first I just went so he'd leave me alone, but after a couple of weeks I was already feeling… different.”
He plays with the ring he always wears on his pinky finger, causing her to look at his hands. She tries not to react when noticing that, in his right hand, he's wearing his wedding band.
“Then I came back to the company, my therapist suggested it. Figuring that, while you took your time, I could help you by easing the workload I left behind.” 
“Everyone thought you were up to something,” she mentions, a small smile on her lips.
“Yeah, I noticed. Walter would report to Harlan up to how many fucking times I peed a day.” Now she's the one laughing, feeling a familiarity settle down between them. “I'm serious, he was certain I would go to the bathroom to drink. As if I was a fucking alcoholic,” his tone is serious but there's a smile on his face.
“But you do have a drinking problem,” she jokes.
“ Had . I had a drinking problem,” he corrects, the smile suddenly gone. “Don't look at me like that,” Ransom begs, once her laugh dies down and her face turns somber. “I did have a problem with alcohol, and even drugs. It was hard for me to accept, but Dr. Callahan, my therapist, helped me a lot with that. And so did Harlan.”
“I could tell you got closer,” her voice is soft as she recalls the letters. “He seemed very happy, I'm glad you two are better. He loves you a lot, you know?”
“I do. Don't know where I would be right now without him.”
Another silence, comforting, heavy with emotion. They're both taking a moment to process everything that's being said.
“So, you're better now?” It's her who finally interrupts the small moment of contemplation.
Ransom's brows shoot up, and he takes a long breath before replying, “Yeah, you can say that. I'm fine, focused on trying to become a better version of myself. Right now I'm just happy to see you.” He admits sheepishly.
She doesn't miss the way his cheeks turn a brighter red, making her heart skip a beat. “I was surprised you didn't go looking for me,” she admits.
“I wanted to, but I didn't know what to do after the last time we met. I knew I'd hurt you, not just then but ever since I came into your life.” His jaw clenches, and she wants to say that isn't true.
At least not entirely true.
“Both Harlan and Dr. Callahan suggested I didn't. So I knew I was in the right, respecting your choice, but still I couldn't help but wonder… Was I wrong not to?” He asks, mostly to himself.
“No,” she's quick to say, it surprises her. “I'm actually kinda glad you didn't.”
Ransom nods slowly, taking a second to absorb that thought. 
“Would it be ok for me to ask...” (Y/N) starts to say, but her voice dies down, the rest of the question lingering in the air.
“Ask what?” 
(Y/N) shrugs, her eyes back on the ground. “More.”
He nods, nervous and impatient. “You can ask me anything you want. I feel like I owe you that much… and then some more.” Ransom smiles.
“Why did you marry me?” His eyes open so wide it's almost comical, but she doesn't laugh. “You said you had this whole life you were used to before me. I knew that, so when you told me to marry you, I couldn't understand why.”
He represses a smirk at the way she says he told her to marry him , because that's exactly how it went.
One day after work, almost a year after he told her to move in with him, he came home later than her. As usual she didn't ask why, which worked on his favor to keep his entire plan a secret.
They'd ordered from her favorite chinese food place, and she was already in the living room, cozily sprawled across the largest couch. Her hair was wet from the shower, and her pajamas were fresh out of the dryer.
Just as she was about to dive into some noodles, he threw a small velvet box over her lap, and sat down next to her as he snatched the white carton box from her hands.
A loud gasp left her lips, along with a breathless “Ransom, what the hell is this?”
“Marry me,” was all he said.
Both the question and the memory hit him like a punch, making him sit back to take it in. “Because I love you,” it's the first thing that comes out of his mouth. Then he frowns and clears his throat, “I loved you, and I wanted you. I never knew how to treat you right, and I was too afraid to ask anything from you in fear you would deny it. And I was terrified you'd leave me. So I figured, if we married, you never would.”
(Y/N)'s brows nearly rise up to her hairline, a great part of their entire relationship suddenly making a lot of sense. “All you ever did was take from me,” she mutters.
Ransom sighs, another punch, right in the stomach. He brushes a hand over his beard again, trying to relieve some tension from his jaw. “I know… I'm so fucking sorry, (Y/N).” His voice cracks, so he takes a moment before speaking again. “My biggest mistake was never asking you what you wanted, I would've given you anything you asked for.”
“Even the bimmer?”
And just like that he's laughing again, sniffling and choking back the tears that had suddenly threatened to fall. “Let's not start wondering what could've been or what I would've done, shall we? Que sera, sera.” He jokes, trying his best to make her feel as comfortable as she's trying to get him feel.
“But honestly, even the bimmer,” Ransom admits after he's done laughing.
She smiles at him, and it's honest. But then a small thought resurfaces from the back of her mind, wiping the smile away.
“What is it?” he quickly asks, not missing her change of demeanor.
“The flowers.”
“What about them?” His voice makes a weird change of pitch, nearly making him stutter.
“You tell me,” she simply says.
“Well.. when I figured out Harlan knew where you were, and I decided I wouldn't go looking for you just yet, I needed a way to let you know I was still here. Waiting.” He harshly rubs his eyes, pressing his fingers into them as embarrassment washes over him. “That's so fucking corny to admit outloud. Fuck, I'm sorry.” He scoffs, as a failed attempt to laugh.
Her heart is doing leaps again, and she has to start focusing on her respirations to not start crying all of a sudden.
“Don't be," she pleads, her cheeks burning from her body heating up again all of a sudden.
“Did you like them?” She nods. “Were they too much?” A shake of her head as a reply. “I considered sending them everyday, Callahan told me not to, said that I should've asked before I started sending them.” She softly frowns. “What is it?”
“Did he, your therapist, tell you to stop?”
Ransom's curious face turns into a frown, similar to hers, if not much harsher. His mouth falls open as he blinks repeatedly, like what came of her mouth was some gibberish in an ancient, unknown language.
“No? What do you mean stop?” He's as confused as her, and it makes her hesitate for a moment.
“Ransom, I haven't gotten anything from you in 3 weeks.”
They both sit in silence, staring at each other as if trying to see if one of them is lying. But then Ransom looks back, up to the second floor, where the hall near Harlan's room is.
“You don't think–” She starts to say, once she catches where his mind is going.
“All I'm gonna say, is I never stopped wiring him the money to buy the arrangements.” His word is final, and she can't help but laugh at how similar he is to his grandfather. 
Her laughter starts slowly, quiet, but soon enough it starts growing loud and almost hysterical. She puts a hand over her mouth, trying to keep herself from being even louder.
“(Y/N)–”
“I thought… ever since they stopped I thought,” she's struggling to speak, afraid that what she's about to admit will sound stupid. “I thought you stopped because you gave up. Because you didn't love me anymore,” her laugh finally turns into sobs, and before she knows it, she's crying.
Ransom moves to kneel in front of her, and calls her name softly, carefully taking her face between his hands to force her to look at him. There's nothing but concern in his expression, and he's finding it hard not to start crying too.
“Please, look at me. Please ,” he begs quietly, softly brushing away her tears with his thumbs. When she finally does, he tries his best to smile as genuinely as he can, “I have never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.”
“Seriously?” She asks between sobs, hiccuping quietly.
He nods, delicately brushing some stray hairs away from her face. “I never lied to you, and I don't plan to start doing so anytime soon.”
A sigh of relief leaves her chest, and she places one hand over his, squeezing it lightly. Her lips part to say something else, but the backdoor suddenly opens, making both of them turn around to see who it is.
“Sorry, I… Harlan is nearly falling asleep,” Marta says quietly, visibly blushing like a tomato. “I'm sorry.”
“It's fine,” (Y/N) assures, as Ransom stands up and moves away, shoving his hands back into his pockets. 
“Sorry for keeping her.”
“I'll be right there, okay?” (Y/N) stands from her seat, wiping her face and smiling as sincerely as she possibly can. “Just a minute.”
The nurse nods, and quickly goes back into the house. (Y/N) turns to Ransom, catching him breathing rhythmically, as if calming himself down. He seems upset, she wonders if it is because he also feels the night coming to an end.
“I have to go or he'll never let me forget I left him hanging on his birthday,” she says, and he simply nods. 
“Thank you for coming,” he mumbles, looking down at his feet. She doesn't understand his sudden change of demeanor, wondering what went wrong in the last 60 seconds. But then he speaks up, “I know you have your way of working things out but, if you want, could you let me know you're alive every now and then? Just tell Harlan you… said hi or something.”
His request is shy and low, and he can't bring himself to look at her in the eye as he asks for this. (Y/N) feels something stir inside of her, and before she can process what's happening with her body, she's crossing the distance between them, carefully throwing her arms around his neck.
She feels his body go stiff, to then immediately relax and melt into her embrace. Ransom buries his face in the crook of her neck, circling her waist with his arms, and breathes in deeply, as if trying to burn her scent into his lungs forever.
“I'll see you next week at work, Ransom,” she says as they finally separate, turning around and heading back to the house.
Before she closes the door behind her, she glances over her shoulder, watching how his expression seems to go through a thousand different emotions. 
“Not if I see you first,” he hurries to reply, managing to earn one last smile from her.
And that's all the hope he needs.
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floralkittygambler · 3 years
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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]
This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.
Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).
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[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).
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/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~
Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.
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spicycreativity · 3 years
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Intertwined- Chapter 3
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Chapter: 3/9
Additional Notes: I have up to chapter 5 posted on my AO3, WizardGlick, if you're impatient. Some vocab, in case you were curious: A glossectomy is surgery to remove part or all of the tongue. A scold's bridle is sort of human muzzle with a spike to press the tongue down.
Chapter Content Warnings: It's hanahaki time, babey. That entails respiratory distress and coughing up flowers. No blood. Yet.
Excerpt: “Poof,” said Remus. “Abraca-douchebag. I heal thee. C’mere, Snakey, let me lay my hands on you.”
Janus sighed but obliged, and let Remus touch him with his hand curled in the sign of benediction, then in the shocker. “Gross.”
"Um, Janus?" Patton asked, slowing their pace a little. At Janus' inquiring look, he continued in an almost timid voice, "Where are we going?"
"To my dungeon of depraved delights, obviously," Janus said with a roll of his eyes. He regretted it instantly; he'd lashed out instinctively, assuming that the hesitance in Patton's voice had been calculated, but of course it wasn't. Patton didn't work like that. "Somewhere we can talk."
"Is Re--" Patton stopped himself. "Is anyone else going to be there?'
"No," said Janus, deep in thought. He was working on constructing someplace entirely new, a den of his own design where they could talk without worrying about Virgil lurking or Remus popping up to make things awkward.
He worked it out while they walked, trusting the halls to lengthen while he constructed a brand new parlor entirely from his own imagination.
The final product was shiny with brass and black lacquer on the wooden bar and cabinets, all unnecessary flourishes and overlapping lines. It was a shadowy space in Janus' mind, sequestered and private and dimly lit with Edison bulbs. He only realized he'd leaned too hard into the ‘hidden’ aspect when they reached a plain brass ring set into the carpeting.
"What's that?" Patton asked, stopping well short of it.
"I'll show you." Janus stepped forward, wishing he could lead Patton by the hand. He hooked one finger on the ring and pulled. It rotated on hidden hinges, revealing itself as a trapdoor. Janus forced himself to smile as though this was normal, and gave a little flourish with his free hand.
"Oh," said Patton in a thin voice. "A dark, shadowy staircase. Um…" He shuffled backwards. "Are there gonna be spiders?"
"Yes, this was all part of my elaborate plan to lead you to a torture chamber." Janus said, smiling gently so Patton would know he was only teasing.
"So no spiders?" Janus shook his head, lifting his eyebrows expectantly. Patton nodded, his eyes lingering on Janus' for a second, and stepped onto the staircase.
"There's a handrail," Janus said, awkwardly attempting to walk to the stairs without letting the trapdoor fall shut. He managed it eventually and followed Patton down the stairs, barely resisting the childish urge to grab onto the back of Patton's shirt.
" This is your living room?" Patton asked once they'd reached the bottom of the stairs.
"No, it's the bathroom," Janus said. Before he could stop himself, he added, "Do you like it?" Oh, pathetic. He crossed his arms to keep from dragging his hands down his face. Anything for that sweet rush of endorphins when Patton deigned to smile on him. He was doomed.
Patton nodded, spinning in a circle as he looked around. "It's like a… One of those…" He looked at Janus, squinting in the low light, and snapped his fingers a few times. "You know, with a password and all that."
"A speakeasy," Janus said, smiling a little at the irony.
Patton seemed to grasp it, too, because he laughed and said, "Easy for me to say."
"So to speak," Janus agreed.
Patton seemed to forget his woes for one breathtaking moment; he smiled radiantly at Janus. All the lights burned a little brighter until Janus caught himself smiling back. He made a pretense of shifting his weight, making an excuse to hide his traitorous mouth behind his hand while he personally executed every last butterfly in his stomach.
"What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Janus asked, beckoning Patton over to a pair of wingback armchairs by the fire. Janus studied it for a moment while he waited for Patton to answer. This space was all his own, and though the pervading chill of Roman’s melancholy dampened the effect of the roaring fire somewhat, it was still comfortable.
"Um," said Patton. Janus watched him fidget with one of the studs on the armchair. "I just… I don't want to sound rude."
Anticipatory dread pooled in Janus' stomach. Great. So Patton was here to offer up some criticism, was he? Let him try. "Well, don't keep me waiting."
"It's just…" Patton looked up at him, his glasses reflecting the light from the fire and the Edison bulbs. "Do you want something from me?”
Panic whited out Janus’ vision for a split second before he got ahold of himself. He was a better liar than that. “What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s like you said to Virgil…” Patton shifted in his chair and wouldn’t look at Janus. “Quid pro quo. And you gave me-- You’ve been so nice to me. And everybody else seems to want something from me, so I just thought…”
“Oh,” said Janus, thinking back to the conference room. Logan and Roman hadn’t thought twice before calling on Patton to take up their burdens, and of course Patton hadn’t advocated for himself. “There are things I want from you, alright.” He waited for Patton to look up before continuing, “I want you to prioritize yourself for once. I want you to protect that bleeding heart of yours. You can’t keep going like this, Patton. You’re bound to collapse again, and I don’t want to see that happen.”
Patton swallowed hard, sniffled. “You made that truce with Virgil. Why?”
"For you , of course," Janus said, dressing the truth in the extravagant trappings of sarcasm and parading it in plain sight. Mocking himself. "All for you, Patton." Quieter, to himself, he said, "For Thomas." A reminder.
Patton nodded. "I didn't mean to imply-- Of course you'd think that of me. I swear I-- I never wanted it to be like this."
Confused and determined not to show it, Janus said, “I really do want to help you. It’s like I said earlier, I…” And maybe this was giving a little too much of himself away, so far from the strange liminality of last night, but how could he help it? “I respect you. I understand you a little better now.” Half of him, the stupid half, the idiotic , saccharine, unbearably-sickeningly-obscenely desperate half wanted to kneel at Patton's feet and swear to fix it for him. Janus could take the burden of leadership, Janus could bear the scorn of Patton's friends on his behalf. Janus would take the pressure, and all he would ask in return was Patton's devotion. He almost scoffed aloud at himself. That wasn’t how this worked. Shifting the weight wouldn’t make Patton any less self-effacing, and he didn’t want Patton in his debt. All he could do was provide support, and burn quietly and not let the smoke sting anyone’s eyes.
“You’re so sweet sometimes,” Patton said sadly. “I wish I’d known.”
Janus didn’t miss that ‘ sometimes,’ the pointed reminder that his heart was guarded, his defenses sharp. The gates were either open or closed, and he couldn’t let anyone else in. It was hard enough letting Remus know that he was capable of anything other than snide remarks and cutting words. He had let Roman and Logan see inside when he had made himself vulnerable to Thomas, and look where that had gotten him. Roman had struck for the heart. “I have a lot to offer,” Janus said, gently trying to steer the topic back to safer territory. “But so do you, Patton. You’re far stronger than I gave you credit for, and I want-- I want you to take care of yourself.”
“Them first,” Patton said, and Janus had to fight to keep his frustration from showing on his face. Suddenly it was all too much, the proximity to Patton and his maddening refusal to look after himself. Janus felt himself on the verge of yelling or lunging forward and kissing Patton hard on the mouth. Instead, he pressed his fingers to his forehead like he’d just remembered something. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Patton leaned forward, cocked his head.
“I almost forgot; Remus had asked me for help with something.”
“You’re friends?” Patton asked.
“That, dear Patton, is a conversation for another day.” Janus stood and motioned for Patton to walk to the stairs. “After you.” The pain of unfulfilled desire sat tight and heavy in his chest; he could make Patton feel alright. But that wasn’t what either of them needed; no temporary pleasure could mend these wounds.
“I think you’re right.” Patton got up and mounted the stairs. “But thank you, Janus.” He paused, one hand on the trapdoor, and turned. “Really. It helps knowing that…”
“That I've got your back,” Janus said. “And I hope you can believe me when I say that.”
Here in the dark, where the dim light from the Edison bulbs didn’t quite reach, Janus could only guess at the look on Patton’s face. “I do,” he said, nearly in a whisper.
Then light flooded in and Janus blinked and steadied himself against the railing, and when his eyes had adjusted, Patton was gone.
Well, then. Off to Remus.
Janus’ breaths burned his lungs as he walked, coming shallower and shallower, until he had to pause, disgusted with himself. But the panic attack never came, and the burn in his lungs retreated, and he kept walking.
He was out of breath again by the time the halls brought him to Remus, who had constructed a blood-spattered laboratory for himself. Doll bodies decorated the counters and exam tables, interspersed with scissors and scalpels and pliers.
"Did you run here or what?" Remus asked, nonchalantly tossing a Barbie head into a red biohazard bin.
"Sprinted," Janus wheezed, falling against the counter. A few limbless torsos fell and clattered onto the linoleum.
Remus bent over to pick them up before Janus could so much as roll his eyes. "You gotta stop smoking, Jan." Janus nodded, too winded to even go along with the joke. He forced himself to stand up straighter and take deep breaths, which seemed to help a little. It still hurt to inhale. Remus frowned at him. "Seriously, did you convince yourself you have asthma, or what?"
"I'm just tired out after running from my hordes of admirers," Janus said, waving a hand to dismiss the topic. Whatever it was, he could think himself out of it later.
“Oho.” Remus picked up a hot glue gun and aimed it at a small leg that looked like it had come from a Polly Pocket doll. “Have another rendezvous with the Loveland Frogman?”
“Nothing like that,” Janus said, distracted. His lungs seemed to itch , somehow. He swallowed experimentally, but it definitely wasn’t his throat causing the discomfort. Forgetting Remus altogether, he coughed into his fist. That helped a little, though a residual burn made him dig at his ribs with his fingertips.
“We did Chestbursters last Halloween,” Remus said. “Hold this.” He thrust the glue-covered leg at Janus, who quickly swapped his nice gloves for blue nitrile, throwing on a lab coat as an afterthought. “ Did anything interesting happen?”
“Oh, you know, apart from the orgy, not much,” Janus said, finally examining Remus’ handiwork. Before them on the table sat a torso. It had no limbs attached except for the right shoulder, which was a mess of tiny Polly Pocket arms and legs, all sticking out like the ribs of a hand fan. “That’s unsettling.”
“Aw, only unsettling?” Remus took the leg back from Janus and added it to the shoulder socket. “I was going for ‘skin-crawling.’”
Another itch flared up in Janus’ lungs and he clawed at himself again, only noticing when it started to hurt. The nitrile was not as thick as his usual gloves and did less to disperse the pressure from his fingertips. He turned away and coughed again until the itch went away. “‘Skin-crawling’ is also apt,” he said, turning back like nothing had happened.
“Did you inhale some doll hair?” Remus asked, holding up a pair of scissors with a guilty expression.
“Must have,” Janus said, forcing himself to believe it. He had no other explanation. He flinched at the sudden weight of a particulate respirator against his face, glanced up to see that Remus was also wearing one.
“There,” Remus said, his voice muffled. “Only the best for my trusted assistant. Now hand me the pliers; we have corpses to deface.”
--
Much to his annoyance, Janus’ cough only got worse throughout the day, dragging a scratchy throat and sore ribs in its wake. He ended up going to bed early out of desperation, thinking it was some sort of exhaustion-related malady, not that he’d stretched himself so thin lately. One night of sleep deprivation should barely have touched him.
He was tired, though, and his thoughts drifted as he brushed his teeth. (This, strictly speaking, was not necessary. But he was Self-Care; he had to set an example). He imagined standing elbow-to-elbow with Patton at the bathroom counter, brushing his teeth while Patton… Did whatever he did before bed, washed his face or something. Just something domestic and sweet for his brain to hold onto, like hard candy. But it didn’t keep the horrible, roaring desire at bay, nor the aching loneliness that had never troubled him before. He wanted, he wanted, he wanted , and here in the solitude and silence, there was nothing to drown it out.
Nothing except for that godforsaken itch in his lungs. Janus doubled over at the sink, spitting out toothpaste foam as his diaphragm spasmed almost of its own accord. He focused as hard as he could on the idea that he was fine, but the coughing refused to abate. Panting slightly, he rinsed his toothbrush and let it skitter across the tiled countertop. If he wasn’t better by tomorrow, Remus would offer to help, and Janus would most certainly take him up on that.
He slept fitfully because of course he did. Nothing was ever easy, was it? The cough troubled him only a little, drowned out in a sea of half-dreams. Visions of Patton or Roman or Virgil, screaming fights, dirty make-outs, displays of violent passion he held himself above, all whirled in his drifting mind like a carousel. It was a vision of Roman that finally woke him up, screaming in his face and driving fist after fist into his solar plexus. "It should be you, it should be you, it should be you! Why can't you just leave us the fuck alone?"
He woke up coughing, disoriented, and rolled over to curl up on his side. It felt for all the world like his body was trying to expel something, something soft and damp that clung to the side of his throat and would not be moved no matter how deeply he coughed.
When he realized he wasn't suffocating, he rolled over to switch on his bedside lamp (bright incandescent bulb, white laboratory lighting, no shadows) and jammed his fingers in his mouth. Sure enough, something velvet soft and wet with saliva slid along the edge of his mouth. He found the edge of it and held it tight between his fingertips, pulled it out of his mouth to examine it.
Reflexive delight flared up before horror and confusion took its place; it was a flower petal. Bright orange and fan-shaped, Janus recognized the familiar hue of a California poppy. He wasn't sentimental enough to have a favorite flower, but the sight of California poppies decorating a green West Coast hillside always made him smile. Bright and summery, they grew in unassuming places and transformed the landscape into art.
So what was a singular California poppy petal doing in his throat? A terrifying thought crossed his mind; he doubled up on the mattress, supporting himself on three arms, and forced himself to cough until he felt that his throat might tear open. Not thinking, he spat into his hand and was rewarded with the sight of shreds of orange and green. Petals and leaves.
Not his throat, then. His lungs. Denial lunged at the first sign of panic, Janus' function kicking in. It was probably nothing, probably some prank of Remus' that he hadn't fully thought through. It was nothing to worry about. Janus was only in minor discomfort and half of that was his own doing, from coughing so hard. He put his extra arms away and lay back on the pillows. He could ask Remus about it in the morning.
Despite the sweet haze of denial telling him not to worry, Janus marched straight to Remus’ room as soon as he awoke. He didn’t even bother to change out of his pajamas. He was angry, he decided on the way over, and not in the fun way. The ghosts of his nightmares trailed behind him, mocking him, and only stopped when he realized he was working himself up into a defensive rage. Remus didn’t deserve that, even if this was all his fault. Which it was. It had to be.
Still, Janus opened the door without knocking, steeling himself against the inevitable horrorshow within. He was greeted with the sight of Remus asleep, all his walls broadcasting scenes from Janus’ most intimate nightmares: mouths sewn shut with leather, pierced shut with metal; spiked muzzles and scold’s bridles; crude glossectomies-in-progress. He steadied his breathing, despite the pain it caused him, and forced the images to fade into bare white walls.
“Rise and shine,” he said, striding toward the bed.
“Fuck off,” said Remus, not moving.
“I need your help,” Janus said, counting on the plea to catch Remus’ attention. Janus never asked for help; he never asked for anything. It was one of the unspoken rules that governed his conduct and kept him safe from debts.
Remus sat up, the covers falling from his bare chest. He blinked at Janus and rubbed his eyes, smearing purple eyeshadow down his cheeks and and just below his temples. “Are you dying?”
“I might be, if you don’t get rid of these damned flowers.”
“Flowers?” Remus looked Janus up and down, nose wrinkled in obvious confusion. “What flowers?”
“Oh, come on, Remus,” Janus said. Begged. It had to be Remus causing this. He tapped either side of his abdomen with his pointer fingers. “In my lungs.” As though to illustrate his point, the cough flared up. He buried his face in the crook of his elbow, his throat already protesting the violent treatment.
Remus crawled forward, peering closely at him, then pressed one sticky hand to Janus' face. “Are you sick?”
Janus didn’t answer, instead clearing his throat as he shook Remus off. While they lacked Thomas’ human response to viruses and bacteria, it wasn’t unheard of for a Side to fall ill. Usually it was due to some sort of psychological turmoil related to their function, but Janus was fine. Better than fine, he was accepted. With one final, barking cough, he forced a flower petal into his mouth, and rather than touch it, stuck out his tongue so Remus could see.
Remus took it and Janus shuddered despite himself, grateful that they weren’t susceptible to germs. “Flower petals, hm?” Remus said, “That’s not really my area. If I was going to make you cough something up, it would be, like, bugs or something!” Images flashed on the walls and floor of that very thing, until Janus banished them with a very definitive stamp of his foot. “Anyway,” Remus continued, apparently unphased, “That’s more Don Romano's bag.”
“Well, as you can imagine, it’s very pleasant,” Janus said, crossing his arms. “I don’t suppose you can make it go away?”
“Poof,” said Remus. “Abraca-douchebag. I heal thee. C’mere, Snakey, let me lay my hands on you.”
Janus sighed but obliged, and let Remus touch him with his hand curled in the sign of benediction, then in the shocker. “Gross.”
“Do you feel any better?” Remus asked.
Janus thought about it. No discomfort flared up in his lungs, but he was just standing there. “I’ll get back to you.”
“Great,” said Remus, flopping spread-eagle onto his mattress. “I’m going back to sleep.”
“Sweet dreams,” said Janus, a little parting shot. But he was gentle when he closed the door behind him, and walked quietly until he was out of earshot of Remus’ room. What was he supposed to do now?
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Riding On Ch7: Home, Sweet Home!
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Summary: Frank and Fliss find their perfect family home, but there’s something bothering Mary.
Warnings: Bad Language words. Discussions about suicide. A little bit of angst.
Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher
A/N: This is a bit of an emotionally charged filler chapter…and we move time on a little through to June in the middle. And photos of the Adler house are included so you can visualise what I used for inspiration! Chapter Song: Kill For A Dream by Beady Eye
Series Masterlist //  WIYPT Masterlist
You’re giving it another try, staring at the deep blue sky, and you say to the driver just drive, coz you never felt so alive.
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April 2019
“Hey honey, you ok?” Frank juggled his phone, pinning it between his ear and his shoulder as he leaned over his computer in the office, scanning the database on the screen for a filter part they needed to order.
“No, I mean yes! I’ve just heard some awesome news!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, so you remember the guy that bought the house that backs onto the yard when Old Man River died…” “That wasn’t his name.” Frank chuckled “It was Mr Morris.”
“He called himself River, it was funny and suited him. Anyway, that’s not the point. You know the guy who bought it…guess what I found out before?”
Frank stopped what he was doing and straightened up. He didn’t like that dick, one bit. When Mr Morris had died at the start of the year, Fliss had been quite upset about the news as the old man had been very friendly to her, often popping in for a cup of tea a few afternoons a week for some company. Mr Morris’ son had sold the house without them even knowing it had gone on the market, which was a shame as it would have been perfect for them given the location. The guy who had bought it, Frank didn’t even know his name, nor did he care because he was a douchebag and a pervert to boot. The way he looked at Fliss made Frank want to punch his face in.
“What’s Douchey Mc Douchebag done now?”
“You’re so childish.” she scoffed “Anyway, I was only commenting to Joanne last night that we haven’t seen him for like a month and she went home and mentioned it to her dad who works with some other guy in the property development business and the long and short of it is he’s gone bankrupt Frank!”
Frank laughed loudly “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, babe!”
“I know right!” Fliss voice was gathering pace and pitch, the way it always did when she was excited. “So literally about half hour after she’s told me this, someone turns up and there’s a For Sale sign outside, the house is on the market!”
Ok now he was interested. Frank could picture the look of excitement on her face as she spoke to him and he felt the smile cross his face “No shit?”
“Yeah, I’ll send you the website to look at the photos but…oh God, it would be perfect! Some of it is really nice, some of it needs decorating but…” “Ok, well, why don’t you call the realtor? Arrange a viewing” he said “Hopefully you won’t puke halfway round this one.” “Ok, first off that wasn’t my fault. Bean objected to the smell. Who the fuck cooks eggs the day they know they have someone coming to view their house?” her indignant tone made Frank chuckle “And second off…”she paused “I already did. He said he can meet us at half 12.”
“Half 12? As in lunch time? Today?” Frank frowned.
“I know I just really don’t want to miss out on this one Frank, and you said you were gonna come up here for lunch and-”
“Ok, ok.” Frank sighed “I’ll shuffle some stuff around, work a little later tonight and take an extra half hour.”
“I love you.” she replied and he could hear the smile in her voice.
“Good job I love you too.” he said back gruffly “Because you’re a pain in my ass.”
He bid her goodbye and just as he was looking at the rota to make sure there were enough staff in to cope if he took a longer lunch, his phone beeped. He clicked through to the link Fliss had sent him and had a scan through the photos. To be fair the house didn’t look in too bad condition. It was deceptive from the outside, looked like a small farmhouse but they knew thanks to the extension Douchebag had put on the back it now formed an L shape and from the look of it, was pretty spacious. The kitchen was new, the main bathroom was new so the big work looked like it had been mostly done. The décor in some of the rooms was really old fashioned, especially the hallway you and the front reception room, but that was all cosmetic. What really grabbed him was the price. It was up for just over 320 thousand, which was a fucking steal considering the size, location, the garden and the garge/outhouse it came with.
“You ok Frank?”
He looked up and smiled as Alan, his boss walked in to the office. “Yeah, sorry, Fliss has found a house and managed to book a viewing for lunch time. Fucking 7th one in 2 weeks.”
Alan snorted “Keeping you on your toes I see?”
“Well I gotta say, this one’s looking pretty good. It’s the house that backs onto our Yard out in Pinellas Park.” Frank explained “It was sold not even 6 months ago to a developer and he’s apparently gone bankrupt so put it back on the market.”
“Huh.” Alan smiled “Sounds like it was meant to be. Take it you’re going then?”
“Yeah, Charlie and Gary are in all afternoon. I thought I could take an extra half hour, work it back tonight or…” “Frank, when was the last time you actually took a full hour for your lunch and didn’t cut it short by 10 or 15?” Alan looked at him.
Frank hesitated “Yeah, but that’s-”
“No buts.” Alan shook his head. “Do what you gotta do.”
“Thanks Alan.” Frank smiled, “I appreciate it.”
Alan waved away his gratitude before he dropped into the chair on the opposite side of Frank’s small desk and gestured for Frank to sit down.
“I wanted to talk to you in person.” Alan said, “Before the news gets out. I’m looking at retiring Frank, fully this time.”
“That’s good news, for you I mean.” Frank smiled, taking his seat. “You must be happy?”
“Kinda bitter sweet.” he shrugged “But I hit 70 this year and bout time I let it all go. Bill’s already chomping at the bit to book damned fishing trips so...it’ll be nice to step back. But I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Shoot.”
“My son, James is going to be taking over, that won’t come as any surprise to you as you’ve seen him knocking around a bit and he likes you.”
“Good to know I’m not going to be out on my ass.” Frank smiled, breathing out a little.
“No, not a chance. I wouldn’t allow it.” Alan said “I’ll still be the owner, just stepping back from major decision making and day to day running. Anyway, the point is Frank, James needs a deputy. He is young and a little inexperienced. I’ve seen how quickly over the last year you’ve picked up rotas, staffing issues, dealt with the stock takes, haggled with the supply chain…I wondered if you’d consider it.”
Frank blinked “You wanna make me deputy manager?”
“In a word, yes. And I know you got your hands full at the moment and they’ll be even more full when that boy of yours arrives but the changes won’t come into effect until the end of the year so we got plenty of time to work out the details.”
“Wow, I err…” Frank shook his head “I don’t know what to say.” “I don’t need an answer now.” Alan said, “Take some time to consider it. Talk it over with Fliss.”
“I will, I’ll give it some thought.” “Ok, well, that’s all I dropped in for.” Alan said, standing up, groaning a little “Did you just hear my damned knees click?”
Frank laughed and shook his head “No, but to be honest mine click too so I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Getting old sucks.” Alan said, shaking his head “I tell ya, the minute I can’t enjoy the simple things in life, put a bullet in my head.”
Frank snorted as Alan shot him a wink and left him to his thoughts.
******* Frank glanced down at the wooden boards beneath his feet in the entrance hall. They were solid old wood, oak he thought, and with a clean and polish would look stunning. He looked up and saw Fliss talking animatedly to the realtor, a young man called David as he nodded and gestured to his left. Fliss opened the door and looked at Frank who followed her into the first reception room. It smelt musty, and there was an old sofa and threadbare carpet in the room but it was light and had a nice, airey feeling to it thanks to the large windows at the front of the house.
“New carpet and a bit of paint…” Frank mused nodding, “Be good as new.”
She nodded eagerly, her eyes shining a she looked around and nodded at the fire place “Really, in Florida?”
“It gets cold, as you know.” he teased “Besides, we just fill it with some of your million candles or whatever…”
She nudged him and they turned around, David watching them.
“So, you’re obviously in the older part of the house that hasn’t really been touched apart from upstairs.” he explained, “But if you follow me I’ll show you the extension which is all new and, well, to be honest, I think it’s stunning.”
The three of them moved back into the hall and through a door at the end which led into a huge open plan kitchen and living area. The kitchen was gorgeous. Sleek white units, modern appliances, marble tops, a huge breakfast bar. Douchebag had clearly spent a fortune doing this up. The floor was a light grey and white laminate which David pointed out was heavy wearing.  To the left of the kitchen area was a huge space where Frank could clearly picture their sofas and TV, and then just off that was a door which led into another smaller reception room, freshly painted and carpeted.  He was just pondering how they could turn that into a play room when Fliss gave a gasp and nudged Frank pointing to the large bay window at the back which had been converted into a seating nook of sorts. They made their way over and saw that the view extended right over their garden highlighting a small pool area which was surrounded by a low set of railings with a gate that were all painted a glossy black. The pool itself was sparklingly clean and clearly brand new.
“Oh wow… “ Fliss mumbled, looking at the sand stone tiles that surrounded the area and the rest of the garden.
“Yeah the rear garden loops in an L round the house” David said. “There’s a larger fence around this area to keep it private and separate from the land at the front that runs flush to the yard area.”
Frank’s hands dropping to her hips as he nodded to the right “Could extend that little patio area for a table and chairs, maybe build a brick BBQ. Couple of sun-loungers for that bit at the back of the pool.”
She nodded eagerly before they headed back into the hallway they’d entered into where the realtor showed them the little room that was to the right as you came in the door which held a number of shelves and coat hooks and a toilet and sink basin. They then headed up stairs to find 4 bedrooms. The master extended down the entire side of the house overlooking the main yard area of Sandybrook. It needed some work, the plaster and paint was peeling away in some areas, but Frank wasn’t worried at that. It was an easy job. What he was pleased to see was that the rest of it was in good condition. There was a brand new en-suite attached to it, housing a toilet, a huge shower and his and hers sinks. The room also had built in wardrobes and huge ceiling to floor bi-folding doors which opened up onto a small balcony. Douchebag had clearly been focussing on the big jobs first before he got into the cosmetics, which Frank had to give him credit for.
The main bathroom was in between the wall of their en-suite and the next bedroom, both situated at the back of the house over the extension and overlooking the fields belonging to the yard. The plaster was fresh in that bedroom but hadn’t been painted, again, not an issue, because Frank knew a certain little miss would be no doubt picking a colour as soon a she spotted this room.
“Bet Mary chooses this one.” Frank said, voicing his thoughts and Fliss nodded, smiling
“I would if the Master didn’t have that en-suite.” she grinned “Look at that view!”
“Yeah, who’d have thought you could work from home in the equestrian business” he chuckled as they then headed to the next bedroom on the opposite side of the landing. This was also rather large, but like the main part of the master bedroom, was clearly one of the original two bedrooms the house had and it needed some updating.
The 4th bedroom was a smaller one up a narrow set of stairs hidden by door in the hallway. It opened up into an attic room which tucked into the roof of the house.
The realtor then led them back down and the out to the outbuildings. There was a huge garage with a half- finished apartment of sorts above it that had been used as storage but could be easily a guest suite if they so wanted,  and then the thing Frank had really loved was the workshop off the side of the garage, accessed by a small door. It was musty and full of crap but was somewhere for him to store all his tools and work on any side projects he decided to pick up.
All in all Frank was finding it pretty damned hard to pick faults in the place.
As they headed back to the main house and Frank asked David politely to give them a moment to look around alone and he nodded eagerly before Frank and Fliss headed back into the house.
“I’m getting good vibes Sailor.” Fliss said as she turned round, looking at the kitchen, once more heading over to the bay window seat, “really good vibes.” she spun back to him and he smiled at the look on her face. “I mean, ok, a few rooms need decorating and there’s some finishing off bits to do all over but it’s nothing that dad can’t help with and I’m sure-“
At that she stopped dead, and gave a little gasp as her hand flew to her bump.
“You ok?” Frank stepped forward.
“Yeah he’s…” she swallowed “Bean’s kicking, Frankie! Quick!”
He reached out with his hand and she took it, pressing it to the side of her bump. After a second or two he felt something wriggle a little under his palm and he looked at Fliss, his face cracking into an open mouthed smile as he felt his son move for the first time.
“Lissy…” he swallowed his eyes misting over. “That’s…oh my God!”
“You should feel it from my POV!” Fliss smiled her own eyes glassy too.
Frank didn’t want to take his hand away. Instead, he kept moving his palm, tracking their baby’s movements when eventually they stopped.
“I think that means BB likes the house.” Fliss looked at him.
Frank scoffed, shaking his head. “BB’s Momma likes the house.”
“Doesn’t his Daddy?” she asked, her hands sliding round his neck.
“Yeah, his Daddy does.” he replied honestly in a low voice as he looked around the large room. “In fact, I like it a lot.”
“You think Mary will?”
“Are you kidding?” Frank snorted “Soon as she sees that view and that pool, she’ll be packing to move in straight away.”
“Suppose there’s only one way to find out.” Fliss smiled.
So they did. They brought Mary back the next day after school. She had squealed at the window seat, yelled about the pool and as she had shot upstairs and headed into the bedroom Frank had predicted she would like, given a jump for joy as she realised from the upstairs she had a view over the tall picket fencing that shielded the private area of the garden.
“I can see Monty!” she gleefully pointed out before turning to Frank and looking at him then to Fliss, her hands on her hips “If you don’t buy this house you’re a pair of dumbasses.”
The same sentiment was echoed by Bill when he turned up fifteen minutes or so later and walked around with Frank whilst Fliss and Mary headed to feed the horses. He did exactly the same thing he had done when they had looked at the apartment, pointed out what they needed to do, how long it should take them to do, rough estimates of cost. Plus, he also reminded Frank they were in a great position. They could buy the place and then give his months’ notice on the apartment meaning they could stay where they were until it was finished.
So that was it. Decision made. The next morning they went in with a cheeky offer, some twenty thou below the asking price which was rejected instantly. Then they upped their offer by five…then an additional three to total eight, with the fact that they were cash buyers and not in a chain a huge bargaining chip.
It was later that evening, just after they had finished dinner when the realtor called back.
“Evening Mr Adler, ok so…I have spoken to the vendor. He says if you can up your offer by another two thousand then you’ve got a deal.” David spoke. At that, Frank let out a huge grin, as he looked out of the kitchen window at Mary and Fliss who were outside the apartment, both sat on a chair round the table. He and Fliss had both agreed they were prepared to go to the full asking price, in their mind it was worth it, but they were about to seal the deal here for ten thousand less.
“Ok, two thousand more.” Frank said, keeping his voice level “But the property comes off the market as we don’t want anyone else spotting it and offering him more before we exchange contracts.” he repeated word for word what Greg had instructed him to do when he had asked him to handle the conveyancing earlier that morning.
“Ok, so the offer on the table is Three-ten on the proviso he grants exclusivity…” David repeated. “Ok, leave it with me.”
Frank finished loading the dishwasher, and had just grabbed himself a beer when David called back not even five minutes later.
“Congratulations Mr Adler, you have a deal.”
He thanked him, and grinning ear to ear headed outside, jumping down the steps onto the lawn.
“What you looking so pleased about?” Fliss looked up at him suspiciously.
“David called… we’ve settled on three-ten plus exclusivity” he smiled
“What, you mean…” Fliss’ mouth fell open and Frank nodded.
“Yup, subject to contracts, the place is ours!”
Mary gave a loud cheer as Fliss jumped up and leapt at him as he smiled, wrapping her in his arms, swinging her up slightly.
“I can’t believe it…” she whispered. “Our own home!”
“I know” he beamed, setting her down as he gave her a quick peck. “I’ll call Greg in the morning. When I talked to him about it he said that with no loans involved it shouldn’t take too long. We could be looking a having the keys in a month.” His hands dropped to her hips, palms resting either side of where his son was growing “So plenty of time to do his nursery.” Fliss grinned and using the arms that were round his neck pulled his face down to hers and pressed a fierce kiss to his mouth. “God I love you.” she mumbled. “Love you too.” he grinned, kissing her again, ignoring Mary’s fake puking noises in the background.
*******
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******
June 2019
“Mr Adler?"
Frank stopped as he had been striding over the yard to collect Mary and turned to see Mrs McCarthy, her teacher walking towards him.
"Hi." He smiled, removing his sunglasses so he could look her in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry to bother you"
"No bother at all." He assured her "is everything OK?"
Mrs McCarthy glanced over to where Mary was stood talking to her friend, Rosie, and turned back to him
"Yes...nothing too drastic but I wanted to make you aware about a little incident in class this afternoon"
Frank looked at her, blinking "incident?"
"Maybe that's the wrong word." The older, blonde woman said "Look, as you know next week it's the end of year Gala, the fundraiser and we invite the parents to join us for activities.”
Frank nodded, wishing the woman would get to the damned point. He was hot, dirty and bothered after an afternoon of helping the team on a particularly awkward repair and wanted nothing more than to stand under a cold shower for an hour and flop down outside with a beer.
"Well, one of the girls asked Mary if she was bringing her mom and if they were making anything for the bake sale and Mary rather bluntly told the girl her mother was dead and then clammed up. She didn't speak a word for the rest of the afternoon."
Frank felt his chest tighten as he looked over at Mary who was now giggling with Rosie and sighed
"She didn't do anything wrong" Mrs McCarthy pressed "I was just a little worried."
"OK...thanks for letting me know, I'll make sure she's ok." Frank assured her.
The woman nodded and headed back across the yard as Frank gave a sharp whistle and slid his aviators back onto his face. Mary looked up and said goodbye to Rosie and came wandering over as Frank waved to Rosie's mom who tossed a hand in greeting in response.
"I'm not Thor" she said, fixing Frank with a stare.
"I know but I couldn't be bothered walking over." He said honestly as they climbed into the truck
"You have a good day?"
"It was OK." She shrugged. Frank eyed her for a second before she pulled the car away from the kerb and set off down the road.
"What's for dinner." Mary asked.
"Steak, baked potatoes and salad." He replies "Fliss' choice."
"Are you grilling?" Mary asked.
"Yup." He nodded
"Cool." Mary nodded "Can I go in the pool before?"
"Got any homework?" Frank countered with another question as he looked at her. Mary shook her head
“End of year next week and Uni didn't give me any summer work."
"Then yeah, of course you can.”
Frank didn't raise the so called incident, deciding to let her chill out a little bit at home first and digest how she felt. After 20 minutes or so of general chat Frank pulled up their driveway and stopped the truck next to Fliss' truck. As they hopped out Mary glanced across the garden over the smaller part of the fence where she could just see Fliss walking across the yard.
"Please can I go see Monty?" She looked at Frank and he nodded.
"I'll watch you." He agreed. With a grin she sprinted over the lawn, climbed over the fence and dropped over onto the other side. Thor gave a bark and Fliss turned round and smiled at her, before she waved at Frank. He waved back before he headed down the side of the house, through the gate in the larger fence before he unlocked the back door and stepped inside the cool air conditioned kitchen, kicking off his shoes and heading straight to the fridge for a beer. Draining half in one he stood, looking around and smiling. They’d finally unpacked the last box yesterday evening and Fliss was still in the process of moving things around their new home, positioning them where she wanted them.
True to Greg’s word, they’d had the keys to the house 4 and a half weeks after making the offer, and 2 weeks post that once the bedrooms and hall had been decorated with a lot of help from Bill, Verity and Roberta (who had been happy for them yet still cried her eyes out when they’d left the park, despite the fact they had assured her they would still come visit and she could also come stay with them too) they’d moved in. The only thing left to do was the reception room (which could wait, it was easy to just shut the door and pretend it didn’t exist) and Bean’s nursery, which he, Fliss and Mary had decided to do together as a project. Mary and Fliss had spent nights pouring over Pinterest for ideas and they’d finally settled on a scheme. Frank had picked up all the plastering supplies and the paint, the furniture was on order and should be arriving at any time that week now he thought about it…so hopefully that weekend they could get cracking. That might cheer Mary up now he thought about it.
Taking his beer with him, he picked up his boots and took them to the cloakroom/bathroom by the stairs. He trudged up the steps, shaking his head at Fred who was led at the top, his paws hanging over the edge of the step as he eyed Frank.
"You're gonna cause a fucking accident." He looked at the ginger cat who merely swished his tail in response. Frank headed into their bedroom, stripping off as he went, walking straight into the en-suite, turning on the shower, setting his beer down on the edge of the sink unit. He stepped in and under the stream of cool water, closing the screen behind him, his mind still on Mary and how he was going to bring up what her teacher has said. With a groan he opened the door, reached out of the cubicle for his beer, took another gulp before he set about washing the grime of the day away.
***** "Have you finished grooming him?" Fliss asked, standing in the doorway to Monty's stable. Mary glanced over from where she had been brushing through his white tail and nodded.
"Wanna take him to the paddock?" Fliss smiled. "Cap and Bronson are waiting for their little pal."
"Sure." Mary shrugged and Fliss frowned a little at her demeanour. She was quiet, which was unlike her when she was round the horses. She was normally full of excitement.
"You OK?" She asked and Mary nodded.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem quiet, that's all."
"No, I'm good." She shrugged, before she tossed her brush into the little grooming box she had, closing the lid and passing it to Fliss. Fliss placed the box into the larger wooden one outside the stable before Mary put Monty's halter on and led him out of his stall. Fliss allowed them to walk ahead, her hand on her bump as she followed them out of the yard and down the little path to the gate that led to the paddocks. They reached the one were Monty was going and undoing the gate, Mary led him in. The white pony stood patiently for her to take his halter off before he stuck his nose into the crook of her neck and shoulder. Fliss smiled as Mary gently stroked his neck and then to her utter horror she saw Mary’s shoulders begin to shake as the girl started to cry.
"Hey, Mary..." she soothed, stepping forward as the small girl turned to her, wrapping her arms around her as best she could, pressing her face into her bump "Oh baby what's wrong?"
Mary didn’t reply, instead she continued to sob and Fliss felt powerless to do anything other than wrap her arms around her, one hand resting on her head, the other between her shoulders.
“Something happened at School…” Mary whispered and Fliss gently tipped her head up to look at her. “Someone said something and…”
“Ok, how about we go back to the office and you can tell me all about it ok?”
Mary nodded, sniffing as her sobs died down. Fliss held out her hand and Mary took it and together they headed back down to the yard. Joanne looked at Mary who was hiccupping slightly with her sobs and frowned but Fliss shook her head.
“Can you feed the top barn for me and then you can go.” she said to Jo who nodded. “I’ll lock up.” “Sure, see you tomorrow. Bye Mary.” she smiled. Mary looked at her and gave a small wave before Fliss led her into the office. She grabbed them both an apple juice from the fridge and then Mary sat on the chair at the end of the desk, wiping her eyes with a tissue that Fliss handed her from the box.
“You ready to talk?”
Mary nodded, and then she stood up and walked over to Fliss who made room for her to clamber up onto her lap. It was a bit awkward but after a little shifting around they found a way she could sit unobstructed by Boston Bean and Mary lay her head against Fliss’ shoulder.
“It was about the gala.” she said gently “One of them asked me if my mom was coming and…”
“Oh sweetie.” Fliss sighed, rubbing her back. “I get that must have been hard.”
Mary shrugged “I told them she was dead.” she said matter of factly “I get that and I never knew my mom so I don’t miss her as a person…but then I started to think about why she died and I don’t understand.” “Understand what?”
“Why?” Mary looked at her. “Why would she do what she did when she had me? Why did she want to leave me behind?”
Fliss took a deep breath and cradled the girl as best she could, trying to think of a way to explain to which Mary could relate, and then it came to her, she could use her own experience here. There was no getting around the fact this was going to be a heave conversation, but Mary was a smart kid and deserved to be treated as such.
With another deep inhale, Fliss looked down at her, kissing her head before she opened rather bluntly "You know I tried to kill myself."
"You did?" Mary pulled back to look up at her "Why?"
"Because I saw it as my only way out." Fliss said gently, smoothing her hair back. "I was stuck in an awful situation. My ex-husband hurt me physically and mentally and I gave up. I wanted out."
Mary remained silent and looked at her.
"For someone to get to that point...they have to have hit rock bottom. Like there is nowhere to go. It's not their fault. And it doesn't mean they don't love the people they leave behind just that they're desperate to escape whatever pain they feel, be it in their head or their body or both."
"But I still don't understand." Mary shook her head.
"And you may never, not fully." Fliss said gently "And as horrible as it is that's something you are gonna have to live with but you have to remember that your mom was sick. And for whatever reason she saw this as her only escape. It wasn't Evelyn's fault, it wasn't Frank's fault and it certainly wasn't yours."
"But if she loved me like Frank says she did..."
"You think I don't love my mum? Or Bill? Or Steve?"
Mary blinked before she lay her head back against Fliss' shoulder. "Yeah"
"But I was still gonna leave them behind." Fliss sighed "I was desperate. And you wanna know the real stupid thing?"
"What?"
"When I got better I still went back. I went back to a real toxic environment and a man that abused me. Because I felt like it was what I deserved. And even though I left him way before I met you and Frank, it wasn't until me and Frank started dating that I really understood I wasn't to blame. I always thought I did something to make him hurt me but I didn't. Being with Frank, the way he treats me and loves me made me see that it was him with the problem, not me.”
"But that's different" Mary glanced up
"The trigger was, yes." Fliss nodded "But your mom, like me, was in a position so helpless, so unbelievably sad that she thought she was to blame and that the world, including you, would be better off without her even though she was so wrong."
**** Once showered and dried, Frank dressed in a pair of shorts and clean T-shirt before he headed back downstairs. There was no sign of Fliss or Mary but as he strode out into the garden he heard a car heading down the drive by the side of the house from the yard and correctly assumed it was Joanne leaving for the day. He opened the gate and just saw the tail of her car turn onto the main road as he headed into the garage for the charcoal to light the BBQ.
Once that was done, leaving the flames to die down he headed out across the lawn, vaulting over the small fence onto the yard. He headed round the barn and frowned as he couldn't see anyone. After a quick look round he spotted the door to Fliss' office was closed. He went to open it but stopped as he could hear the sound of voices. It was Mary and Fliss but he could tell from the pitch and stutters in Mary's that she was upset. He paused, hand hovering over the handle as he heard Fliss speaking to her softly. "Stack, you are so loved. Frank loves you, I love you, Nanny V, Poppa Bill, Uncle Steeby, Roberta, Evelyn...Thor, Fred and Monty..." she paused "You're such a special little girl and I know I'm not your mom but...I feel like I am."
"You do?"
"I'd do anything to keep you safe and happy. And so would Frank"
They both fell silent and Frank swallowed, the lump in his throat almost choking him.
"Don't ever feel like we don't" Fliss continued "and if I have to bake 200 fucking cookies for your Gala next week to prove it then I will."
Mary giggles "You know Bean can hear you swearing."
"Well I won't tell Frank if you don't"
"Do you think Frank feels like my dad?" Mary asked a moment later and at that point Frank really wanted to walk away. He couldn't listen to this, he didn't want to listen to this...but something kept him rooted to the spot.
"I know he does." Fliss replied.
"But he doesn't like it when people say it. I know that, I heard him talking to you. Bill’s not your real dad but you still say he is…."
“That’s slightly different sweetheart.” Fliss sighed "My real dad left my mom before I was born, so when he died…I didn’t even know him and I don’t care that I didn’t either. But your mom was Frank's sister. He wants to make sure you remember her, understand who she was. He could have easily just pretended to be your dad all this time, you would never have known any different but he didn't. Because he loves you and your mom too much. He's too honest and it’s important to him that you understand. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you like he is your dad, or that you can't love him like he is."
Frank turned away from the door, looking up at the sky and taking a deep shuddering breath. Fuck, this was hard to hear. He knew Mary had been upset before but the thought that it ran this deep was killing me. Wiping at his face, his hands then dropped to his hips and he looked down at his sneakers before he turned to the door, reaching for the handle but once more pausing as he couldn’t face interrupting them, not whilst they were in the middle of a moment.
“I suppose that makes sense.” Mary continued  “And I do love him like he is. And I love you like you’re my mom too.”
“Well that’s all that matters.” Fliss replied “It may be unconventional but we’re a family, and that’s the main thing huh?”
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Lissy.” Mary spoke.
“You’re welcome Stack” Lissy’s voice was soft and there was a pause as Frank could picture the pair of them hugging.
“Hey, did you now I’m going to be doing all the money stuff for the bake stall?” Mary’s voice was suddenly up beat as she switched topic “Because I’m good at maths they said I could be in charge of payments and handing people their change and stuff.”
“Nice work kiddo.” Fliss smiled, “Tell you what, we’ll put Nanny V on the case, her baking is way better than mine. We can get her over one night next week whilst Pops is helping Frank with the plastering in the nursery.”
Ok, that was it, safe to enter without interrupting anything. Frank gave a little knock and then opened the door, fixing a smile on his face.
“Hope I haven’t interrupted any girl talk” he smiled and Mary jumped up and ran to him, giving him a hug. He looked at Fliss who wiped her eyes.
“Ok?” he mouthed at her and she nodded back, her lips moving silently as she replied.
“Tell you later.”
“BBQ is lit.” Frank said, looking down at Mary “You still wanna play in the pool?”
She nodded and grinned. “Yeah.”
“Sounds like a great idea.” Fliss grinned “Let’s lock up and head home…oh wait, we don’t need to head home because…” “We’re already there!” Mary grinned, and then she spun round to see Fred peering round the door. “Hey, look who came to visit!” “Bout time he earned his keep.” Frank grumbled “Go catch some mice.”
Fred stalked past him into the office, looked around, before he sauntered back out, clearly not interested.
“He’s a lover not a killer Frank.” Mary grinned, as Frank watched the cat walk off into the evening sun.
The three of them locked up before they headed back to the house and Mary shot upstairs to get changed.
“So, how much did you hear?” Fliss turned to Frank as he pulled a beer from the fridge along with a bottle of water, sliding it over to her.
“Enough.” he sighed “Her teacher collared me before. Said that one of the kids had asked about her mom in class and she’d gotten upset.”
“She asked me why Diane did what she did.” Fliss sighed, “Why she left her behind if she loved her so much.”
Frank swallowed. “What did you say?”
“I explained about why I tried to kill myself.” Fliss shrugged “Told her about the desperation I felt…but that didn’t mean that I didn’t love my family just that I saw it as my only way out. I know it was heavy and maybe not really the right thing to do but...”
She was cut off as Frank stepped forward, taking her face in his hands as he kissed her, hard. It took her a moment to catch up but once she did she melted into him, her mouth opening to grant him access as he ran his tongue along her bottom lip.
“Thank you.” he said gently as he pulled away, his hands still cupping her face.
“What for?” Fliss asked, reaching up to gently wrap her fingers around his wrists.
“For loving her as much as you do.” he said simply “for loving us both as much as you do.”
“Oh Sailor.” Fliss’ eyes brimmed with tears “How could I not?”
***** Frank didn’t sleep particularly well that night. Mary’s conversation with Fliss was running through his brain and every time he drifted off he would wake about an hour or so later, fresh worries and concerns running through his mind. In the end, at just before 5 am he gave up and climbed out of bed. He grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of sweats and putting them on he headed downstairs. He flipped on the TV in the hope the early morning new would distract him, but it didn’t.
It was clear to him that Mary was struggling with where she was going to fit in the family dynamic. He hadn’t really worried much up to that point, being convinced by Fliss that if they kept her involved with stuff to do with Bean she would be ok but this went much deeper than the fact they were expecting a baby.
He’d be lying if he said the thought of him claiming to be Mary’s Father had never entered his mind. It would have been a lot easier but out of loyalty and love to Diane he had wanted to make sure she knew about her mother, and understood the truth because in the end, a lie would always come round to bite you on the ass. It wasn’t that he had a problem with people assuming he was Mary’s father but…
God what a fucking mess.
“Hey…” a soft voice drew him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Fliss stood in the doorway, his T-shirt she was wearing now hardly covered the top of her thighs thanks to her Bean bump.
“Sorry beautiful, did I wake you?” he asked.
“No.” she shook her head, dropping down next to him. “I got up to pee and you were gone.”
“Couldn’t sleep.” he shrugged.
“What’s wrong handsome?”  she lay her head on his shoulder and he took a deep breath.
“Just thinking about Mary that’s all.” he shrugged. “She’s always asked questions about Diane but not like that.”
“She’s getting older Frank.” Fliss said, her hand reaching out for his as she began to play with his fingers “She’s bound to start thinking about things differently. She was ok last night after she talked to me, and then later you when you tucked her in. She doesn’t keep her feelings bottled up, and that’s good. It’s a testament to you that she feels like she can talk to us about things.”
“I know.” Frank looked down at her, kissing her head “I guess I just worry Lissy, worry about how she’s gonna feel when Bean is here and he’s calling us mom and dad and she doesn’t.”
“Frank.” Fliss sighed as she sat up straight. “Mary knows we love her. And what she calls us doesn’t change a damned thing. You’re worrying unduly now. We can’t do anything about that other than-“
“Yes, yes we could.” Frank looked at her. Fliss took a deep breath as his eyes locked onto hers, instantly understanding.
“I thought you said you’d never even consider adopting her?”
“I never thought I would.” he shrugged. “But it’s been playing on my mind after what mother said and then after last night…” “Why? What did Evelyn say?” Fliss asked.
“When she was here last, she told me that Diane’s memory wouldn’t suddenly fade if Mary called me dad…” he licked his lips “It was almost like she was giving me permission to do it…you know? Not that I need it or really give a shit what she thinks.” he paused, taking a deep breath “If I’m totally honest Diane isn’t the only reason I said I didn’t want to. I just never thought of myself as being dad material. I was such a screw up until I met you and I thought that by staying as her Uncle, it would give her that distance, you know?”
“Not dad material?” Fliss looked at him, shaking her head “Oh Frank, you idiot. You’ve done an amazing job with her…and you will do with Bean too.”
He smiled at her, sniffing slightly as she continued.
“But there is one person who’s opinion counts most here.” Fliss said gently “And that’s Mary. If you’re serious then you should ask her if it’s what she wants. Because after 9 years of calling you Frank…”
“I know.” Frank agreed, “And I agree, completely. It would have to be her decision. But at least if I ask her if she would like us to then-“
“Us?” Fliss looked at him, blinking. “You mean you want me to?”
“Of course I do.” Frank nodded, before he frowned slightly “But if that isn’t what you want, I understand. It’s a big-“ Fliss cut him off by pressing a kiss to his lips “Of course I do Frank. I love Mary like she is my own anyway so…” Frank beamed at her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head. “So, we’re agreed. We ask her?”
Fliss nodded and pulled back, her hand resting on his cheek. “We ask her.”
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space-kitten-606 · 4 years
Text
Savoy
Sleeping at Saeyoung’s place for the first time was nerve wracking for many reasons. You did feel very comfortable around him, but it was a new place to you, the place he had lived in for years. His home. Even though it was him who invited you, it did feel like you were invading a space you weren’t meant to be in. You managed to keep your nervousness to yourself during the day. 
At night however, with Saeyoung silently sleeping next to you, you didn’t seem able to rest. Every few minutes you changed your position, tossing and turning. But you just couldn’t fall asleep. The longer you lay awake, the more you kept wondering what was amiss. The bed wasn’t uncomfortable to you and you certainly weren’t bothered by Saeyoung’s presence. 
“Is something the matter?” Because he was mumbling into the sheets, you almost didn’t hear him. 
“Oh, it’s nothing. I guess I have trouble sleeping without my Baltoy watching over me.”, you laughed, referencing the little figurine on your nightstand he gifted you a while back.
Saeyoung did not join in with your laughter, but muttered something to himself instead. He was probably too tired to find the humor in it right now, you assumed and pushed your face back into your pillow. Most likely, the only thing you had to do was getting used to the new surroundings anyway. 
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Despite not having slept much during the night, you managed to get about the following day just fine. Saeyoung hadn’t much planned for the both of you, so you could get through with lots of calm lying together and watching some really bad shows. Very unexciting but pleasant regardless. Still, you dreaded the night. Hopefully you’d be able to get a little more rest this time around. 
When you stepped into the bedroom, your mind went blank.
“What the…” Sighing, you took the vegetable from its place on your pillow and walked back to your boyfriend, who was still busy cleaning up the snacks you spread all over the table together. 
“Saeyoung, what the fuck is this?”
His golden eyes looked up to where you stood. “Savoy.”, he answered, a mischievous grin decorating his lips. 
The exhaustion from lack of sleep the night before was starting to catch up with you, and you really weren’t in the mood for his strange games. A little annoyed, you rolled your eyes.
“Great. And why exactly did you think to put that on my pillow? Are you trying to tell me something? Is that your weird way of telling me you want to eat this tomorrow? Or are you just trying to piss me off?”
Saeyoung shook his head no. He put on a very innocent face when he said: “None of that. Last night you told me you weren’t able to sleep without savoy looking over you, so I couldn’t just ignore that you know?”
“I’m pretty sure I didn’t say anything like that.”
“Are you implying that I’m not listening to you?!”, Saeyoung gasped. The glint in his eyes gave his act away to you immediately though. 
“Screw you!” With a groan, you threw the wrinkly vegetable against his head.
Unable to hold his laughter any longer, he doubled over.
“I wish I could’ve seen your face when you went into the room!”, he wheezed. 
You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, so instead of laughing with him you rolled your eyes at his childish behaviour. Seeing him this full of joy left you unable to suppress a faint smile though. 
“How did you even get the idea to do this.” 
“Well. You might not have said ‘Savoy’, but it is what I heard you say last night.”, he admitted between laughter, “I thought it was kinda weird and assumed you said something else. The image was incredibly funny though so… here we are!”
Biting your lip, you tried to remember what he could possibly be referring to,when it finally hit you. 
“I said Baltoy, you dumbass. How can you even get ‘Savoy’ from that oh my god.”
Saeyoung’s eyes widened at the revelation of what you had actually been talking about, sending him into another fit of laughter.
As he was still caught up between laughing, crying and desperately trying to catch his breath, your gaze fell onto the cabbage on the floor. Looks like you had no choice but to look up a recipe with savoy in it. Everything else would be a waste after all. 
This little fic came to life thanks to @shittylongcatposts​ and I lying awake late a night during our weekend trip! You can read her version of this featuring Jumin here ~ click ~ !!!
59 notes · View notes
msiopao · 4 years
Text
The One Where Nobi Gets Drunk at 11 in the Morning
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pairing: jungkook x nobi
summary: jungkook and nobi fight and nobi does her routine whenever they have an argument
Returning to the bed after a bathroom break, Jungkook noticed Nobi’s sprawled out form with her phone hovering her face.She had on her glasses and she was wearing one of his sweatshirts that she managed to snag from his closet that morning. 
He picked up the fallen blanket and threw it on top of her, earning him a shriek and a groan.
“Yah! My phone fell on my face!” She whined and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
Jungkook laughed before getting under the covers beside her. “Sorry.”
“What took you so long anyways? Did you drop a bomb in there?” She glared slightly, still soothing the pain but returning back to her phone.
“Hobi-hyung was taking a long time in there!” He defended himself.
Nobi looked at him, confusion in her face. “Kook, you do know we have 4 other bathrooms right?”
“Well, everyone seemed to use it at the same time. It was either that or I go outside and take a piss in front of all the neighbors to see.”
Nodding, Nobi returned to scrolling through a webtoon. He propped himself against the headboard before grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, flipping through all the channels and sighing when he found nothing to watch.
“I want to play a game but Tae-hyung and Jimin-hyung are playing,” he whined. 
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Jin-hyung ate my leftovers for breakfast today.”
He huffed and just settled on an anime on TV. As she read new chapter, Sakura stopped at a certain column of her webtoon and looked up to see Jungkook’s frustrated expression.
“Jungkook-ah, should we get our own apartment?” Her question made Jungkook chortle and look down at her.
Trying to find out if she was kidding, he found nothing but seriousness. “What?”
She rolled over so she laid on top of him and shoved her phone at his face. “The main character and his best friend just got a place on their own since their dorm was full of inconvenience like bathrooms and stuff. WE could do the same thing! Let’s try and stay in budget so let’s look at a few cheaper apartments and we’re used to sharing a bed anyways so we only need one bedroom. We could decorate-”
He placed a hand against her mouth. “Kura-yah, calm down.”
Nobi raised her eyebrow and swatted his hand off. “Why? You don’t like it?”
Jungkook was quick to deny. “No! I mean-yes! But no!” The girl gave him a look causing him to sigh. “Kura-yah, they’re both male. They could move in together without raising any questions. But you and I, we’re opposite genders. Not to mention, we’re idols. You know how people are, they assume stuff. It’s too risky, bub.”
“But they know there’s nothing like that happening between us and I’ve expressed my interest in continuing to live with you in the future. It shouldn’t be a surprise, right?” Her expression made Jungkook close his eyes and turn to look at the door.
“I know but they know we’re just kidding. We both know we don’t actually want to live together forever since we’re going to go on our separate ways someday. This is just a heat of the moment thing, bub. Our future is going to be totally different and I don’t want you to be dependent on me forever. You’re going to have your own family and I’m going to have mine. It’s just not going to work out, Nobi.” He tried to reason but regretted it once he saw her face fall.
Nobi looked down, lips etched into a frown. “Oh. Oh, okay,” she mumbled before rolling back and getting up from the bed.
“Wait, Kura, where are you going?” He asked, also sitting up and grabbed her arm.
She flicked his hand off and stood up to walk towards their shared closet and coming out with her shoes.
He scrambled to the floor and blocked the door with his hand. “Where are you going?”
“Move.”
Her tone made him sigh quietly. “Kura, you’re not actually mad, right? Come on, don’t leave.”
She raised her head and glared at him. “I’m not mad, Jungkook. I just feel suffocated and I want to get out of here.”
Knowing there was no way she was going to back down, he moved and let her open the door. She walked out and down the hallway with Jungkook following her like a puppy. Even helping her by grabbing her coat, he opened it so she could just put her arms in. But she snatched it from his hands and turned to open the front door.
“I’ll be out!” She yelled and slammed it shut.
Taehyung poked his head out from the living room to the hallway with the front door and Jimin joined him from the kitchen, eating and holding a chip bag. The youngest ran a hand over his face before turning to walk back to the room and passing by his older members
“Hm, lover’s quarrel?” Tae teased. Jimin giggled but stopped when Jungkook turned to glare at him.
“Piss off,” he muttered but Taehyung heard it clearly.
His eyes became wide, offended and slightly upset by him. “Yah! That’s rude!”
Jimin sent him an apologetic glance and walked over to Jungkook to place a hand on his shoulder. “Want to talk about it?”
“No need. Sakura is just being childish.”
The two 95-liners looked at each other and knew he was upset by how he said Nobi’s real name. “Come sit down on the couch. Maybe we can help.” Tae nodded and moved to clear the controllers on the couch.
....
“Ah, so she wants to get an apartment with you but you turned her down?” Tae asked to clarify.
Jungkook nodded. “I don’t know why she got so upset though. It’s not the first time I’ve said no to her ideas.”
“How exactly did you refuse? What did you say?” Jimin looked at him suspiciously.
“Yea. It must’ve been what you said.”
“I just told her that we’re going our separate ways someday and we’re not going to be together forever. So it’s pointless,” Jungkook recalled.
Taehyung and Jimin looked at each other, not believing how dense Jungkook was. 
“Yah, you’re so rude. That’s your problem,” Tae grimaced.
“I think you offended Nobi, Kook. You basically told her that you don’t see her in your future and once we’re done with being BTS, you’re not going to be involved with her anymore.”Jimin explained to the oblivious boy and shaking his head when Jungkook still looked confused.
“I’m just saying that we’re not going to be together forever and it’s true!” Jungkook defended himself but Taehyung moved closer, hitting his arm.
“Yeah, that’ll happen but you’re voluntarily saying you don’t want to be around her anymore. She probably thinks you’d get sick of her.”
Jimin nodded along, “You know how Nobi is. She’s closest to you and she wants to be around you constantly. It’s like rejecting her and it probably really hurt her.”
Jungkook groaned and leaned his head back, “AH, she brought up the idea in the first place.”
“And now she’s mad at you.” JImin pointed out. “This isn’t the first time you fought and we all know a single apology from you will fix it.”
Jungkook gave in and nodded, moving to the bedroom to wait for her to come home.
....
Walking to a convenience store, Nobi entered through the doors and went straight for the ramen section. It took her a few minutes to decide which flavor she wanted as she was too distracted to even figure out what sounded good to her at the moment. Eventually, she decided on the spicy beef flavor and grabbed some kimbap before moving over to the soju section. Her mind was debating whether or not she should drink out in broad daylight for everyone to see. But she was hurt from what he said and although she tries not to get too sensitive about it, she couldn’t help but think about the times other people left her once they got tired of her. Not even with just one, but 2 bottles of soju was what she was thirsty for.
“That’ll be 13,500 won,” the cashier totalled. She grabbed a bill and left quickly, not even bothering to get her change.
Slurps and sounds of content filled the empty space around her. Thinking because of how secluded the neighborhood was, there wasn’t a lot of people wandering around and noticing an idol drinking soju at 11 in the morning.
“Toughen up, Sakura. You’re an Asami and you shouldn’t be that bothered by it,” she slurred. Half-way through her second bottle already, she decided she should go home. There was practice scheduled for 3 at the afternoon and even drinking 1 bottle was a mistake.
“Ugh,” she groaned as she stood up. Finishing even 1 bottle is enough to get her tipsy. What was she thinking trying to drink 2? The alcohol started to fog up her mind and she began walking in a direction with an unknown destination.
It must’ve been an amusing sight for the neighboring houses to see a figure wearing a long black coat, staggering up the hilly road and maneuvering herself around other people who were taking walks. Thankfully, the mask and beanie she wore was enough to cover her identity from the eyes of others. 
What a field day reporters and Dispatch would have if they found out their precious girl BTS member was out drinking in the morning.
Blasphemy!
Beyond tipsy and crazy drunk, Nobi blinked a few times, forgetting the passcode to the house. Even patting herself, she couldn’t find her keys and had no way to get in. Sighing heavily, she pounded against the door, trying her best to make it sound loud enough for the members but actually so faint due to her lack of muscle.
“YAH! OPEN UP!” Hearing no movement from inside, she pounded again, grimacing at the discomfort from her stomach. “BANGTAN! OPEN! LET ME IN!”
Jin, who was chopping some carrots, jumped when he heard yells from outside and the sound of the door being beaten down. The voice sounded familiar and he waited for a second at it grew silent. Hearing more yells, he took off the apron and went to look at the monitor. There, he saw his girl member.
He knew about what happened as Jimin and Taehyung went straight to him to ask what to do. 
“Hyung, we don’t know where Nobi went to. Her and Kook had a fight and she left and we don’t know where she is,” Taehyung said.
Jin looked up from his DS, already used to the fight between the 2 youngest. “It’s okay. Nobi always come home and if she’s not home in a few hours, we can look for her. It’s the same tango, boys. She leaves, gets drunk, then comes home. We just gotta wait.”
Nodding and slightly impressed at his ability to guess, Jin went back to the kitchen and put his apron on before shouting, “JUNGKOOK! KURA’S AT THE DOOR!”
There was scrambling from down the hallway and out came Jungkook, disheveled with his hair sticking out to different directions. He was dressed in a typical white shirt with black sweatpants and face puffy after waking up from a nap.
“Go get your girl before I chop her up for getting drunk first thing in the morning,” JIn threatened, not taking his eyes off his chopping the carrots.
Jungkook nodded, rushing straight to the door. He turned off the locks and swung it open, just for Nobi to stumble towards his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face to his chest.
“Kura, you okay?” He quietly asked, placing a hand at the back of her head.
She looked up to him, a soft smile on her face. “Hi Koo.”
“Up,” he signalled for her hop on his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. Using his feet, he kicked the door close and walked down the hallway to find Taehyung and Jimin standing by the kitchen island.
“Hm, she’s drunk again?” Tae asked, capping his water bottle.
“Yeah. I’ll take her to bed, try and get her some sleep before practice.”
“She’s going to regret drinking when she wakes up later,” Jimin warned the younger at Nobi’s future tantrum.
“Hyung, can you get some medicine for her while I go tuck her in?” Jungkook asked Jin who sighed before putting the knife down.
“Koo Koo, where are we going~? To your bed~? I like your bed the most~? Don’t tell Jimin though~!” Nobi hushed him loudly, not knowing that Jimin was right behind her.
“Honestly, you raise them to be good kids and the moment she turns legal, she goes drinking in the morning. Was all my hard work to waste?” Jin angrily mumbles while grabbing a glass of water causing Taehyung to laugh out loud.
“Get her to bed, Kook. She needs all the sleep she can get.”
Huffing gratefully that he has finally arrived, Jungkook crawled over to her bed and took off her limbs from him. Grabbing a pillow from behind her, Nobi sniffed and whined at the unwanted smell.
“Koo Koo. This doesn’t smell like Kook. I want Kook,” She drunkenly mumbled.
Kook giggled and smiled before going over to her and prying the pillow from her. “Kook’s right here, bub.”
He laid down beside her and wrapped an arm around her but she pushed him away, lazily blinking in surprise. “You’re not Kook.”
He smiled, amused. “I’m not?”
“You know, Kook? Jungkook? He’s a coconut and smells nice. Pretty tall and really pretty,” she described. “You’re not him. I’d know if you were.”
Thinking she was cute, he decided to go along. “Oh yeah? Is he a friend of yours?”
Nodding enthusiastically, she responded, “He’s my BEST FRIEND.” Then a pout made its way on her face. “But he’s a butt head and a meanie.”
Frowning at her response, Jungkook pressed on. “Why are you calling him that? Did he do something to you? Is that why you’re like this, bub?”
Suddenly, tears welled up her eyes and she sniffled. “He wants to leave me, stranger. When we’re done playing, he’s going to leave me. I don’t want him to leave me. Will you leave me too, stranger?” 
Her eyes made something stir inside Jungkook. He looked down to look at her and he pulled her in for a hug. “No, I won’t leave you. Ever.”
Once again, burying her face in his chest, she sighed contently. “I smell Koo.” Then she looked up to his face. “Hi, Koo.”
Looking down at her softly, he wiped a few stray hairs off her face. “Hi, bub.”
“I’m tired, Koo. Stay with me,” she begged as she snuggled further into his chest. He nodded, patting her head softly and humming Converse High until he heard her snores.
“Not right now, bub. But definitely in the future. We’ll get a dog and maybe some ceiling to floor windows. Do you like bohemian theme? I’ll have plants all over the house. Maybe Gardenias or Acacias. We’ll do it all when the time comes,” he promised before hugging her closer and drifting off to sleep.
is it too much for a first scenario?
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azuchifairy · 4 years
Text
The Corpse Bride
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13672392/2/The-Corpse-Bride
“If you seek happiness, your heart knows what your mind can’t understand.”
 Chapter Two: True to Yourself
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Levy’s heart felt warm and she strolled down the hall with a spring in her step knowing Lucy was happy with her surprise. Levy McGarden was one of the Heartfilia's magic advisors. She had been studying magic and scripts since she was a child and grew up to be a very successful mage. When she moved to town she made friends with Lucy in the village and since then the two had become very close. Lucy invited her personally to meet her parents who were very impressed by her resume. She came around often to spend time with Lucy, and also Layla who was a magic user.
The time that she wasn’t at the Heartfilia estate she was working with the infamous Erza Scarlet, the town’s well renowned mage known for dealing with the dark magic as well as other forms. To keep her shop hidden from mage rebels it was disguised as an armory, that being Erza’s other passion, and placed at the edge of the forest. Levy worked with her to continue her studies and lived above the shop in it’s cozy loft while Erza and her husband Jellal lived in the house connected.
Levy was an admirable asset to Erza as the mage was slightly blind to things up close giving her a difficulty in reading. Levy, who adored reading more than anyone, was the perfect match to read the books to Erza and she could decipher ancient magic scripts. Jellal was a great teacher when it came to learning of ancient scripts, but even a great mage like him had trouble from time to time. When they weren’t experimenting with spells or taking care of their magical clientele, Levy worked in the armory for the human travellers that stopped by to have their weapons looked at or purchase new ones.
She knew that the day ahead of Lucy was going to be difficult so she made the journey across town on foot to be with her, despite feeling bad about leaving Erza. It was hard to see her going through so much with little Levy could do to help, so even the least bit of happiness she could bring would lift her conscience.
As she walked she was met by Layla, who looked as stunning as ever. She wore a fuschia gown with roses of lighter hues in the pattern. It had lace frills and her hair was pulled into an elegant high bun as always with a frilled headband and choker to match.  Lucy’s mother dripped in the essence of elegance that it was enough to take someone’s breath away, and Levy was no exception.
“L-Layla-sama!” Levy curtseyed in front of her, “That’s such a beautiful dress.”
The blonde woman grinned at her with her hands resting together at her waist, “Why, thank you. Where are you off to, Levy-chan?”
“I was about to go home for the day. I figured since it was a formal meeting it would be best I leave.” Levy said with a soft chuckle scratching the back of her head.
“Nonsense, I actually had a favor to ask if you didn’t mind staying.”
“Of course Layla-sama, what did you need?” Levy responded eagerly.
***
When they entered the Heartfilia foyer they were met with all kinds of grand decor and artwork from the finest painters. There were vases and wall hangers filled with flowers wherever you looked. Gray stood next to his parents as they waited when he felt his dad nudge him with his elbow. He looked to him and saw he held his hang out containing a silver banded ring. “Forgot to give that to you, in case you need it.” His dad winked at him and dropped it in Gray’s hand.
His son glared at him, “And why would I want this?”
Silver nudged him again but this time it was to quiet him as the servants opened the doors for Jude and Layla. Gray rolled his eyes heavily but stuck the ring in his pocket knowing that he definitely wouldn’t need it. The Heartfilia couple entered the large foyer with Layla outshining Jude from the moment they stepped in. It looked like she had floated while she walked and radiated glamour.
“Mr. and Mrs. Fullbuster, it’s so lovely to have you here in our home.” Layla smiled, a true woman of elegance.
Silver bowed to both her and Jude, “Thank you for having us as your guests, we are truly honored.”
Ur curtseyed lifting her pale blue dress, “It is my pleasure to meet you both.”
Jude looked to both of them yet all he said was, “Likewise.”
This was Gray’s least favorite part of meeting any wealthy family, the smiling, the acting like he cared while he watched his parents take part in the bowing formalities. The couple came to Gray and he bowed trying not to wince from the tightness in his jacket, “Mr. and Mrs. Heartfilia, thank you for having us and giving me the chance to meet your daughter.”
Layla was smiling at him while Jude remained the same and they both turned back to Gray’s parents.
“What a handsome young man. I’m sure Lucy will be delighted to meet him.” Layla said and she seemed to mean her words. Gray noticed that Jude was giving him a glare almost as icy as his father’s. He knew he was trying to be intimidating, trying to see if Gray could handle it. He tried not to roll his eyes, how childish.
“Oh, Lucy, my dearest.” Layla said looking at the doorway, “Please come in, meet the Fullbusters. Silver, Ur, and their son Gray.”
The girl who came through the door looked just like her mother, a spitting image. Her blonde hair was over her shoulder in a long braid and her dress was the color of cherry blossoms. Gray didn’t deny she was pretty, but pink happened to be his least favorite color.
She curtseyed to his parents, “It’s my pleasure to meet you, thank you for visiting our home.”
Then she turned to him and gave a less enthusiastic curtsey compared to the bright smile she gave his parents, “Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Gray tried his best not to laugh at how he could clearly see how much she didn’t want to be there. Instead he bowed and cleared his throat before he spoke, “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Clearly both sets of parents could sense the awkwardness between them, even if they tried to keep it hidden. Layla piped up, “Shall we go be seated in the parlor for tea?”
“Yes, of course. Please lead the way.” Silver replied.
Layla turned to her daughter, “Why don’t you show Gray around the estate and come meet us a bit later on? Levy has agreed to accompany you. How does that sound?”
Levy approached behind them with a smile on her face winking to Lucy. She left a respectable distance between them.
“Lovely. We can start in the gardens.” Lucy said and began walking as soon as she finished her sentence. Gray picked up his feet to follow feeling like a child for a moment wanting to stay with his parents. He wasn’t good with social interactions with people he didn’t know, and most people who knew him labeled him as awkward.
As soon as they got outside there was a vast garden divided into different sections. There were white fences and arches with vines of flowers wrapped around them. In the middle of the trimmed hedges and rose bushes was a magnificent marble fountain that extended into a pond through a waterfall. There were so many different flowers in an array of colors including, violets, peonies, lilies, hydrangeas, and chrysanthemums. Marble benches were spread throughout the garden and the path was made with a white type of gravel that crunched underneath their shoes. Gray was amazed at how fantastic the garden looked and it definitely matched the estate itself. He noticed how Lucy still hadn’t spoken to him even though they were away from their parents and took it as a good sign that she didn’t want to be there.
Levy granted them space as they walked just keeping an eye on their surroundings and whatnot. She didn’t think that this Fullbuster boy was a match for Lucy at all and she thought it was easy to see from the beginning. They were both tense, like they’d rather be anywhere else, and that energy filled the air.
Gray tried at least to break the ice a bit, “Um, this is a nice estate. Did your family design it?”
“Really? That’s how you’re going to start a conversation?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. Gray was taken aback by her unpleasant tone and in turn fired back with an attitude without thinking.
“Well it’s not like you were going to start the conversation, I tried to make an effort.” He said irritatedly.
“Your effort was insufficient.” She fired back in a snotty voice.
“I’m really not trying to impress you anyways.”
“Like that matters to me! You’re so not my type.” She said crossing her arms over her chest. While Gray was irritated he wanted to laugh at how immature this girl was.
“Yeah well I don’t see how you could be anyone’s type with bratty behavior like that.” Gray said, trying to entertain himself with her reaction.
Her eyes opened wide as she turned around with her fists clenched, “Bratty?! I’ll have you know I already have a man that considers me his type, a man that isn’t so brainless!”
Gray stifled his laughter, “Actually wouldn’t he be the brainless one to be interested in you?”
Lucy gasped in offense, “That’s it! You’re really trying to screw this up aren’t you?! Because congratulations, you succeeded!”
Gray chuckled, “This was already screwed up before it started.”
Lucy grimaced, “Well at least you are right about one thing. Just leave me alone.”
Levy thought she was going to have to stop them during their disagreement but left it to Lucy since she had seen her do it countless times before. It was best to stay out of the way and let things settle the way they were supposed to. So far it had started going like all the other times her friend had talked about, Lucy would insult them and usually the man would try to make up for it by being excessively polite. Gray had thrown it all back at her from his own frustrations and gave her a bit of a run for her money.
She observed as he followed her still even though she had stomped off down the center path. It didn’t seem like he was trying to hurt her feelings, but at the same time Levy was already positive their match in a romantic sense did not exist. She did however, think Lucy may find a friend in him.
Once they reached the fountain Lucy stopped and sat on one of the marble benches to which Gray sat next to her on the edge. The sky was dark and there were no birds singing, only the gentle breeze rustling the bushes. Gray could tell she felt bad and decided that apologizing may be his best bet to potentially get them on the same side.
“Look I’m sorry, okay? I really don’t want to get married. I’m sure you’re a very nice person but this is all being forced on me by my dad.” Gray explained slouching over a bit since his parents weren’t around to scold him. “Now that you both know where I stand can we stop arguing? It’s immature.”
She thought to herself for a moment about how infuriating he had been only minutes ago and realized he had no reason to lie, that he had to be telling the truth. Lucy sighed, “You're right, I’m sorry too,” she turned to him and explained, “You see, I’m already in love with someone. I wish to marry him but..my father doesn’t approve.”
Gray watched her clench her fists and even someone with an icy heart like his, felt sympathy for her. “That’s pretty awful. I’m sorry to hear that. Did he give him a chance?”
“No! He didn’t even give him a chance before he rejected him! So I made this stupid arragement with him, I promised I would meet anyone he brought to me and only if I rejected all of them could I be with Natsu. Somehow he just won’t stop! I thought he would give up, I thought he would know by now that I don’t want anyone else.” Lucy sniffled looking to Gray, “So I’m rather glad you didn’t have plans of marrying me.”
Gray shook his head, “Natsu? Natsu Dragneel? I know him, he’s a close friend of my family. We visit them every so often. He’s a complete idiot sometimes, but he is my friend.” He paused for a moment, “There’s definitely no way I could ever do that to him.” Now he knew he needed to come up with a plan so they wouldn't have to go any further into making arrangements.
She was able to let out a sigh of relief, “You know Natsu? I had no idea.” Levy noticed her whole demeanor changed the moment she started talking about him. “You know, there have been so many times that I snuck out with Natsu to spend time with him at his father’s bar. We had so many great times there drinking, telling stories, and that’s where I met the real Natsu.”
“Seriously?” Gray questioned, “How did you not get caught? The bar isn’t exactly close to your estate.”
Lucy shrugged, “Honestly I have no clue, but I was good at picking the right nights to go out. Most of the time Natsu would just sneak into my bedroom to spend time with me..” She blushed looking away bashfully, “Y-You know! We’d watch the stars, or he’d bring along his familiar Happy to play with!”
Gray decided not to tease her and chuckled thinking of the cat, “That silly thing? I forgot he had him. Gee, it’s been awhile since I visited him.”
Lucy nodded, “Now that I think about it I think he did mention your name maybe once, he usually referred to you as ‘ice brain’.”
Gray glared in exhaustion, “I’m going to kill him next time I see him. How did you not know it was me coming today then? I could’ve avoided that argument with you.”
“Sorry about that I didn’t know you were a Fullbuster, Natsu never mentioned that part. Like I said, I didn’t put it together that you were Gray. I just know about the families in the area, not exactly who is who, or who’s acquainted with who unless they partner in business. My father says it isn’t necessary to know because I won’t be inheriting the Heartfilia estate anyways.” Lucy explained.
“Consider yourself lucky, that's one thing you can forget about.” Gray pointed out.
Lucy sighed looking down, “Yes, you’re right about that. But, I think it would be harder if I had to forget about Natsu. I want to be with him more than anything, he’s the only person I’ve ever met that only wants me to be myself. On top of everything good about him and his heart of gold, he offers me the one thing my family has never given me.”
“What’s that?” Gray asked, although he had an idea of what she would say.
“Freedom,” she laughed, “as trivial as it is, it’s the one thing I truly want. That ability to be my own person and decide what I want to do with my life, it’s priceless.” Lucy looked up towards the sky as if deep in her mind she was in her own world leaving Gray to himself. He could see how Natsu could give her that. His family had no expectations, they lived happily compared to everyone else because they did what they wanted. It seemed to Gray that Lucy would fit right in.
The only thing he could think of was a bit outrageous. It was not his typical go to plan, but it might be enough to cause both of their parents to reconsider. Plus, if it worked it would result in a solution for both him and Lucy. At least they wouldn’t have to continue making plans for a wedding.
“So, what if we could create some chaos in front of our parents? One could start a fight with the other and draw it out. Essentially people like our folks hate dealing with chaos so they’ll have to stop us.” Gray concluded.
Lucy hesitated, “I mean it doesn’t sound like a bad idea, but we’d have to really sell it to them.”
Gray nodded, “So that’ll be up to you. With that bratty attitude I’m sure you’ll be able to convince them you hate me.”
Lucy started to chuckle, “You really don’t hold back,” she shook her head with a light grin, “How are you certain it’ll work?”
“Well, I’m sure they saw how much we dislike each other, they will have no choice but to call it off.” Gray explained, “I’m not sure it’ll guarantee that you and Natsu could be together but, it's a start.”
“You would go through the trouble to do all that? ” Lucy asked in surprise. Gray shrugged in response, “It benefits us both.”
“But you don’t even know me and I was rather rude to you..” Lucy said, “I’m sorry for that.”
“No need to be sorry, I think I was just as rude.” Gray chuckled, “I’m doing it for Natsu too. This way I know that he’ll be happy in the end too.”
Lucy’s smile widened as she thought of Natsu again and how it wouldn’t be too long until she was in his arms again.
Gray stuck his hand out, “Truce?”
Lucy smiled, taking his hand and giving it a small shake, “Truce.”
Levy grinned and thought that maybe the Fullbuster boy wasn’t so bad after all. She did doubt that their plan would work, but he even if he didn’t want to say it out loud, he empathized Lucy’s struggle. She was nervous at the same time, because there was about to be utter chaos at the Heartfilia household.
***
After carefully devising a plan Lucy and Gray went back to the estate ready to put their plan into action. Lucy stormed ahead in front of Gray and as the servants noticed her nearing the room they stepped aside to open the doors quickly.
“Father! Mother!” Lucy barked with her clenched fists at her sides. She cleared the doorway first and Gray stepped up his pace to follow.
Both couples looked up in worry as Lucy steamed, “There is no possible way I could ever marry this man!” She turned to Gray as he passed the threshold and put her hands on her hips, “He’s an absolute brute! He’s ill-mannered, full of attitude, and on top of that he doesn’t value me!”
Gray played his part to perfection addressing his parents, “I did nothing to her! She’s spoiled, arrogant and rude! I can’t get along with someone who’s so egotistical, it would be even worse to marry her!”
Layla stood up with urgency but still as graceful as a swan, “Now Lucy dear, I’m sure we can work this out-”
Lucy stomped her foot like a toddler much to her parent’s shock,“Absolutely not! I want nothing more to do with him!”
Gray admired her commitment to the act and decided to up his game. He crossed his arms over his chest and pointed his nose to the air as he turned away, “I want nothing less. The sooner I get to be free of her presence the better.”
Silver got up with a suppressed look of anger on his face, “Gray,” he hissed, “your manners. As Layla said, I’m sure there’s a solution to this problem.”
Ur stood next to him, “What happened between you two that caused this?”
Lucy looked to Gray again pointing her gloved finger at him, “He couldn’t say a single word of sincerity! I tried to show him some of our family’s prized flowers and he stood there with no emotion!”
Gray rolled his eyes, “It’s not my fault you came off a carriage straight out of brat town.”
Ur gasped at his behavior while Silver began to rage, “Gray! That's enough.”
Gray turned his attention to his father, “No. I won’t just bite my tongue. I’d rather marry any other girl than her and she feels the same. What’s so difficult about calling this off?”
Jude finally stood with his composure intact, like he wasn’t phased by anything they were saying. His calm demeanor was a red flag for Gray, something wasn’t getting through. Then, Jude finally spoke.
“I apologize for this foolishness on behalf of my daughter, Silver, Ur. You see, she’s trying to play a game.”
Lucy’s eyes widened as she tried to stay on her feet, “No I’m not! I meant every word I said-”
“You will be silent while your father speaks. Know your place, and step down.” Jude asserted glaring at her with his eyes full of a fiery rage. Lucy felt the fear in her at that moment, she saw the man she had been afriad of since she was a  child, and allowed herself to go silent.
Silver interjected, “I’m sorry I don’t know what you mean. What game?”
“My daughter has supposedly fallen in love with someone different. The son of the Dragneels, who I’m most certain you know. She thinks she will accept no other than him, yet I do not approve of the boy. But still she has made countless attempts to foil her mother and I into arranging her with someone else. This, I’m afraid, is one of her plots. Your son seemed to have gotten himself involved this time however, which is new.” Jude explained.
Gray was in a bit of shock that he had seen right through them. He was under the impression they could be persuasive enough to get the job done, but he didn’t know who they were playing against. Jude was not only a business tycoon, but a mastermind of whatever mental games his daughter had tried to play with him. Every strategy, every move, nothing could be hidden from his analysis.
Silver understood then, “I see.”
The fury building in her was enough to give her strength. Although Lucy had tears pricking in her eyes she spoke up again, “Why do you think I have to do this! You won’t just listen to what I have to say! You won’t even give Natsu a chance? So what if Gray wanted to help, at least someone in this damn house listened!”
Jude was growing irritated with her, “Silence this outburst at once. This is not how you were raised, you will do as I say. You have no choice!”
Lucy felt herself boil over with every pent up emotion she had tucked away, “I will not just stay silent! I’ve spent every day being quiet, and that ends today! All my life, I never got to choose what I wanted and I was fine with it. This is the first time I want something with all my heart and you just want to shatter it! Well I’m not just going to lay down and marry whoever you want. I have dreams, dreams that things like money and status could never buy. And Natsu..” she paused thinking of his smile in her mind, “He’s one of those dreams, whether you like it or not.”
“Your disrespect will not be tolerated any longer! You think you know what you want, when really you know nothing at all! You’re way out of line and it’s time you learned where it is you should be.” Jude said and got ready to approach Lucy when Gray stepped in his path.
“Gray-” Silver started.
“Look, you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. Not only are you being completely unfair to your own daughter, but you’re not even willing to listen to reason. You’ve never even met Natsu before so you have no idea of his character. He may be eccentric, but he’s exceptionally loyal and honest. He’s one of the most genuine people I know and you can’t even consider him for your daughter over all the other fakes she’s met? If you ask me, all your doing is hurting Lucy. It’s true, I don’t want to marry your daughter and I have no intention to and regardless I’m a man of integrity. I won’t betray Natsu over something like status. You’ll have to find a different sucker to swindle into that.”
Jude set his glare at him pointedly, “Young man, I suggest you stop here if you want any future with the Heartfilia family.”
“Father, please, just listen to him. He’s the only one who’s supported-”
“Lucy!!” Jude bellowed, “Shut that ungrateful mouth! I’m tired of hearing your silly little sob stories and your even more idiotic fantasies with that Dragneel boy! I’m done hearing what either of you have to say, you’ve both brought shame on your families with this ploy!”
Gray stepped forward with his anger increasing by the second, “Now just you wait a second Mr. Footuphisass, don’t talk to her like that. This is the kind of thanks she gets for following every order, every wish, you’ve ever wanted? What kind of sick man are you? Parents are supposed to love their kids, not treat them like mindless pawns in their games.” Gray shouted with his fists clenched.
“Alright, that’s quite enough from you-” Silver began towards Gray, who hadn’t finished his rant yet.
“No, you know what Dad I’m also fed up with hearing all this marriage bullshit too. Lucy and I may be different but we’re a lot alike in the sense that I’ve done nothing but what you’ve asked since I was a child! This ‘marriage’ was your idea and I’m putting my foot down.”
Silver’s eyes were dark with rage, “You better remember who you’re speaking to, boy. You’re a Fullbuster, you’re my son. You have responsibilities, expectations, you can’t just revoke everything I’ve worked so hard to do because you don’t want to.”
Everyone could feel the iciness in the room as the father and son duo glared at each other.
“Actually, dad, I can. If being a ‘Fullbuster’ means I’m going to hate myself for the rest of my life, I’ll fucking pass.”
Everyone in the room gasped and before Silver could lunge at his son, Ur stepped forward in front of him, “Out of this room, this instant!” She turned back to the Heartfilia’s laughing in embarrassment, “If you’ll excuse us for just a moment, we’ll talk to-”
“No, mom. I’m done talking. I’ve said everything you needed to hear.” Gray said with his eyes never leaving his father’s death stare. He turned around abruptly and almost bumped into Levy in the hall as he passed. Gray mumbled an apology to her and bursted out the front door to see the downpour of rain. Everyone in the room was left speechless and immobilized, the only sound being the slam of the door. He steamed with anger while he went straight past the carriage and out to the road. He didn’t want a single thing to do with his parents at the moment, even if that included riding in their carriage.
Then from the corner of his eye he saw something quite peculiar. To see if it was just a trick of the rain he turned his head to see the butterfly from before, the same colors and all, perched on the branch next to an opening in the woods. Soon it lifted from its perch and fluttered into the woods, leaving him compelled to follow it.
“Gray!” His father’s angry voice echoed in the distance. Gray snorted and stepped through the entrance to the woods. It would delay him going home at least, to clear his head from all the unwanted excitement of the day. The dark skies only grew darker above as thunder rumbled and soon it would be night. Gray did not look back as he crossed the stone bridge deeper into the forest, but if he did he would’ve seen the entrance he had come in through was no longer there.
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all-things-skam · 4 years
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Jens’ season | Chapter three
Saturday, January 18th
After the pre-game at Robbe’s, they all moved to some party Jana had found and invited them to. He and Jana had made out a bit, but Jens’ mind couldn’t help wandering to Lucas who was making his phone buzz in his pocket. It felt wrong to make out with someone while thinking about someone else. Jens couldn’t do it. So, he made up some lie about feeling dizzy from alcohol and needing to go home.
Regardless, the night had ended late for Jens. He and Lucas had messaged back and forth all night, getting to know each other through Instagram DMs.
Jens learned that Lucas liked Indie Pop music and hated Marvel movies - even though they look really cool. They are just too long and Lucas could never sit through a whole movie. He broke his arm last year trying to do a trick on the half-pipe, but that didn't stop him from going back on his skateboard the following day. Sweet food was his favorite - as stated at the café. Cakes, pastries, chocolate, pancakes...anything sweet.
The more they chatted, Jens realized that Lucas must have plans with his friends. He only got to see them every other weekend and Jens felt bad from keeping the blue-eyed boy on his phone instead of spending time with them. But, Lucas assured him it was okay, that actually he was glad to have company.
His Friday night didn't go how he had expected it to. What was supposed to be a bowling night ended up being Lucas walking a drunk Isa home after she threw up in the bushes in front of the bowling alley. While he had a good laugh trying to get Isa upstairs, he’d rather lay in bed and talk with Jens.
When he woke up, Jens saw a notification from Lucas. His phone was so close to his face due to falling asleep with it last night that the flashing screen made him groan. He squinted and rubbed his eyes, adjusting to the bright light of the screen.
vanderheijden.lucas Jens? Still there?
vanderheijden.lucas Did you fall asleep? If so, good night. I think I’m going to crash too
A smile crept on Jens’ face, reading Lucas’ messages.
Before he could write anything back, his door opened and Lotte ran and jumped on her big brother’s bed, attacking Jens with morning hugs. A bit startled, Jens’ phone slipped from his hands, landing on his comforter. Lotte screeched as Jens caught her and started tickling her.
''S-stop, stop,'' she demanded between giggles, wiggling and trying to push Jens away with her hands and feet. ''It t-tickles.''
Jens pursued his tickle attack for a couple seconds, stopping when he felt his sister’s breath shorten. ‘’That’s what you get for waking me so early.’’
Lotte frowned. ‘’It’s not early. It’s 10am.’’
‘’For me, it is.’’
The eight year old rolled her eyes, annoyed at her brother's late sleeping-in and morning laziness. ‘’I have something for you.’’
Sitting straighter, Jens raised an eyebrow, curious. ‘’Oh? What is it?’’
Looking around on the mattress, Lotte picked up the piece of paper at the end of Jen's bed and handed him the card she made. It was made out of pink cardboard paper and had drawings of colorful balloons on the cover, spelling 'Happy Birthday' in bold letters. There was a ton of stickers and glitter all around, making a mess on Jens' comforter.
The paper was a bit crumpled from the tickle attack, but it's the thought that mattered. Jens smiled and opened the card, reading Lotte's crooked handwriting. These homemade cards his sister gave him every year were Jens' favorite birthday presents - beside money and alcohol. They were childish, but so meaningful.
His smile widened as he read the short yet heartfelt message. He could tell she had the help of a teacher for the spelling, but they were her words.
''I'm going to a sleepover at Ines' tonight and won't be here to give it to you,’’ Lotte explained.
Jens pulled his sister for a big bear hug. “Thank you for this. You're the best little sister ever,'' he said, returning her own words. Lotte grinned and Jens decided to tease her a bit. ‘’You’re the only sister I have though...don’t have much of a choice.’’
The brunette pulled her eyebrows, giving her brother a look.
‘’I’m kidding.’’ Jens scooted over, tapping the space next to him. ‘’Get in. We can watch a movie before I have to get ready.’’
Lotte looked at Jens with the biggest grin on her face. “Can we watch the new Dr. Dolittle?”
Discontentment and annoyance flashed across Jens’ face. Animal movies were not his thing. Cats & Dogs, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Marmaduke; he couldn't stand those. As a kid, he was always more into super heroes like Spiderman or Batman. He would watch those for hours on repeat - and had managed to learn all the lines.
The pout on Lotte’s face made him cave and reach for his laptop, about to look for that damn Dr. Dolittle movie.
.
''Birthday boy is here!'' Moyo called cheerfully, phone in hand, filming as Jens made his entrance into the flatshare. He hooked an arm around Jens' shoulder, pulling him in a bro hug. ‘’How does it feel to be seventeen?’’
Jens rolled his eyes at Moyo’s question. ‘’I don’t know. It’s not my birthday, yet…’’ he pointed out, laughing.
Aaron stepped in next, pushing a beer into Jens' hands. They had stronger stuff in the kitchen, but Aaron figured he could start with a beer. It was only 9pm, too early to get drunk. Unless you want to spend your evening sleeping in a corner or with your head in the toilet.
This party was a last minute idea. The initial plan was to go to a bar, but they were all too broke to go out - perks of being a teenager. Neither of the boys could host either, their parents all home this weekend. Except Robbe, who was at the flatshare. But, the place was already taken by Milan’s own birthday party. Having heard their dilema, Milan kindly offered to share his party and celebrate Jens’ birthday too. After all, birthday siblings gotta stick together.
Jens accepted the beer and took a long swig. ‘’Let’s get this party started!’’
Moyo and Aaron cheered on each of his sides, pulling their friend through the mass of people in the living room where they found Robbe - attached to Sander's neck, dancing.
The small boy detached himself from Sander when he spotted Jens, wishing his best friend a happy birthday. Sander did the same, exchanging a quick hug in greetings before pulling Robbe back to him, kissing his cheek.
In true Milan fashion, the apartment was decorated to the max. There was paper streamers taped all over the walls and ceilings along with balloons and even a huge banner on the living room’s wall. A pink fringed curtain separated the kitchen from the rest, as if to let everyone know where the good stuff was.
Jana quickly found Jens, stumbling and holding onto his shoulder for stability. ‘’Happy birthday,’’ she said to him, throwing her arms around his neck and spilling some wine on the floor. Thank god it was white wine.
.
Sunday, January 19th
Jens was a bit hungover when he woke up.
Who was he trying to fool? He was totally hungover. All the alcohol he had downed and mixed felt heavy in his stomach, threatening to come back up. His head was pounding and his back was aching due to sleeping on Milan’s couch.
Over all, he felt like...death.
Jens grunted in displeasure, trying to roll over and grab his phone on the floor - unplugged. If his head didn't hurt this much, he would’ve laughed at his failed attempt to plug his phone, the charger laying a few centimeters from his phone with no phone attached. Good job, Drunk-Jens…
He unlocked the screen and saw a message from his mom, asking what time he was planning to come home - followed by a quick ‘happy birthday’.
Sighing, Jens turned it off and stood, feeling the room spin for a few seconds, probably still a little bit drunk. Steadying himself, he walked past Aaron’s sleeping bag and almost tripped on Moyo’s makeshift bed on the floor. Can’t this boy clean up after himself? Or, was Jens too clumsy?
He heard Zoe and Milan talking, quickly followed by the sound of Moyo and Sander laughing. Jens followed the voices, coming from the kitchen, hood covering his messy hair.
''And he's up!'' Moyo commented as he made his entrance, interrupting the current conversation.
''How's the birthday boy feeling this morning?'' Milan teased, sensing his hangover.
Aaron and Moyo snickered and Jens flipped them off. ''Like I got rolled over by a fucking truck,'' he answered honestly, voice croaky from the lack of hydration.
Last night, Jana had made him chug wine while they danced, and the boys vodka. Seventeen shots for his seventeenth birthday. What a great idea.
Sander was sitting on the kitchen counter - lacking seats -, sipping coffee with Zoe. It was unlike him to wake up before Robbe - or be anywhere without him -, but someone had to make decent coffee.
‘’Want some?’’ Zoe kindly offered.
Jens nodded and she poured him a cup. Hopefully it'll wake him up and ease his hangover - or make it disappear altogether.
‘’Want some vodka in your coffee?’’ Sander asked with a smirk.
Jens made a grimace, stomach churning. ‘’Don’t mention the devil.’’
Sander laughed and got down from the counter, asking if anyone wanted breakfast. Zoe offered to help, knowing no one else could cook in this household.
They took everyone’s orders, settling on eggs and pancakes. Usually, Jens would be down for some good homemade breakfast, but there was no way he could stomach food right now. Just the smell of it made his stomach turn.
Head on the kitchen table, the birthday boy listened as Moyo shared his retelling of last night's escapades. Since his failed attempt with Noor, his pride was a bit wounded and he had taken Aaron's spot as the desperate one of the gang. He ranted about this cute blonde with a plunging top, putting emphasis on how close he was to kissing her, but skipped the part where she slapped him. Too bad for him, Jens happened to have caught the scene when coming out of the bathroom.
And while they all agreed Aaron was the worst in the flirting department... Moyo wasn't much better.
As they were talking, Jens felt like his head was about to explode, how was he supposed to go home like this later? He doubted his hangover would go unnoticed by his parents. Especially his mom. It’s like she has a sixth sense or something.
Just as Zoe and Sander deposited the food on the table, a sleepy eyed Robbe walked into the kitchen, hair messy and sticking up here and there. He wasn't even wearing pants, just an oversized tee shirt, covering just enough.
“Do I smell pancakes?” he asked.
Sander snorted, unimpressed. ‘’Of course, that’s what gets you out of bed.” Robbe smiled lazily and went to sit on Sander’s lap, already missing his boyfriend’s touch. “Now I know what gets you up in the morning!”
Robbe pressed his forehead against Sanders, mumbling quietly. “I can tell you of a few other things that get me up in the morning”
“Hey, we are eating here, man,” Moyo groaned, tearing his eyes away from the couple and scrunching his face.
“Well, at least you don’t have to live with them 24/7” Milan lamented.
Zoe agreed, scooping a pancake onto a plate and taking it to the counter to eat. The kitchen was a tad bit small for all these people, but they made it work.
‘’You’re not eating?’’ the blonde asked Jens, eyebrows raised, but the boy shook his head. ‘’It might not sound like it, but eating could make you feel better. Alcohol causes low blood sugar. Eating breakfast actually helps get your sugar levels up while the alcohol comes out of your system.’’
‘’I’m good.
Jens felt his phone buzz in his hand. He lifted his head and Looked at the screen, seeing an Instagram notification.
vanderheijden.lucas sent you a message.
Jens opened his phone and stared at a flashing ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ gif.
vanderheijden.lucas I hope you had a great birthday. Sorry I couldn’t be there, but I’ll definitely see you next Friday
.
Monday, January 20th
Jens felt a lot better on Monday. The content of his stomach was no longer threatening to come up and the elephant sitting on his head was gone.
He had vomited his guts in the bathroom when coming home yesterday and had to make up a lie about eating something bad at Robbe's and upsetting his stomach. His knew his lie was mediocre and his mom probably saw through it, but didn't say a thing. He was a teenager and it was his birthday, he's allowed to have fun once in a while.
He was on his way to meet the boys for lunch when someone walked past him and bumped into him on the staircase.
''Sorry, I should watch where I’m going.’’
Caught off guard, Jens forced a smile, turning more genuine when seeing Lucas. His curly fringe was perfectly swept on the side and the color of his jacket matching his blue eyes.
“It’s cool. How was your weekend?'' Jens said, trying to stay smooth and chill.
He didn't know why, but Lucas's presence had the tendency to destabilize his confidence a bit.
Lucas shrugged. “It was good. I hadn't gone home since my dad and I moved here two weeks ago. It felt good to spend some time with my mom and see my friends. I really miss it sometimes...but then I run into you and it doesn’t seem so bad.”
He smirked and Jens' didn't know how to react. His stomach dropped, surprised, but not shocked. Was Lucas flirting with him again?
''I saw your stories, it seemed like you had a lot of fun at your party?''
“Yeah, it was great, but I got a wicked hangover that I’m still getting over.''
''Have sex.''
''Excuse me?''
''Sex is an excellent cure for hangover.''
Jens raised an eyebrow. ‘’Does it?’’ He paused, raising his gaze to meet Lucas’, clear blue irises looking right into his. ’’I’m gonna need a partner for that, though...’’
The brunet cocked an eyebrow, still holding Jens' stare, reading through the heavy subtext. They had entered a new level of flirting and neither were mad about it.
Lucas licked his lips slowly, making something in Jens' stomach flipped over at the gesture, and the Netherland boy took a step closer towards him, nearly closing all the space between them. Lucas opened his mouth, but before he could say - or do - anything, someone called Lucas’ name.
''Luc! Come on, man, we’re going to be late.''
''I gotta go. See you later, Jens,’’ Lucas said, readjusting the bag on his shoulder and winking before leaving.
.
Tuesday, January 21st
A knock on Jens' door woke him from his slumber. His first thought was that it was his sister joining him for the night, but Lotte never knocked. Jens frowned. Slipping out from his covers, the teenager walked to the door, eyes barely open, still half-asleep.
The hallway light caused Jens to squint his eyes and hiss. He rubbed them with his palms, adjusting to the light. ''Mom?''
She was in her bathrobe, hair down from her usual bun, slightly messy due to her pillow. ''Sorry to wake you, honey,'' Fenna apologized in a hushed voice, cautious to not wake her sleeping daughter next door.
It was very unusual for his mom to wake him in the middle of the night - unless something was going on. Did she get an emergency call from work? Jens hadn't heard his father come home, did he get into an accident? His frown deepened, getting worried.
''What is it, Mom?''
Fenna sighed and looked down, the bags under her eyes appearing more prominent. ''Your dad is drunk. Can you help me take him to bed?'' He could sense the shame in her voice from having to ask her son for help with his drunk father.
Jens nodded, mentally shaking his head in disappointment.
He followed his mom down and walked into the living room, taking in the state of his inebriated father, passed out on the loveseat, shoes still on and jacket half off. Jens felt a burst of resentment towards his dad in that moment. How could he drink so much that his own son was having to drag him to his room so his little sister wouldn’t see her dad this way? How could he do that to his wife too? Doesn’t she work hard enough at the hospital? She doesn’t need to come home and have to deal with her drunk husband.
''I tried to get him to move, but he's being stubborn and-'' Fenna started to explain, a yawn interrupting her.
It was the first time it happened and Jens hoped it was the last - for his dad's own good. Coming home late and picking fights with his mom was one thing, coming home drunk was another.
''Go back to bed, Mom. I'll take care of this,'' Jens said, taking in the state his dad was in. He reeked of beer and whiskey.
Fenna refused. ''No. It shouldn't be your job to take care of your dad.''
‘’He’s just a dead weight. I'll manage.''
Her eyes shifted between her son and husband, feeling guilty for making Jens take care of Mohamed. He was a kid, it wasn’t his responsibility. But, she had already tried to get him upstairs and didn't succeed. All she did was get one half of his jacket off.
With one last look at her son, Fenna gave in. ''Alright. I'll go get his side of the bed ready. Just bring him upstairs, okay?''
Jens nodded and watched as his mom returned to the second floor, leaving him to deal with his dad. The teenager sighed, dreading the work to come.
''Dad?''
The man grumbled, half responsive. Jens didn't lose time trying to understand whatever he was trying to say and threw his dad's arm over his neck, getting him to sit up just enough to remove his jacket. Like he said, he was a dead weight which made the task a bit difficult.
''Can you stand?'' Jens asked, trying to not let his irritation show.
He helped his old man up, slinging one of his arms behind his neck and keeping one hand behind his dad's back as support. Mohamed felt heavy on Jens.
Mohamed mumbled something that Jens couldn’t understand.
“What did you say?”
“ I said, your mom hates me.” His voice was rough and slurred.
Jens sighed. “She doesn’t hate you, but you need to start doing better. She can’t keep working these double shifts all the time, and you can’t be coming home drunk like that. It’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to Lotte or me either. I shouldn't have to do this, Dad.” He wasn't trying to guilt-trip his dad, just talk some sense into him.
There was a long silence before Mohamed responded. “I’m trying, okay? But nobody wants to hire a 40 year old with minimal training.'' He scoffed before going into a coughing fit. ''Anyway, why am I even telling you this? You're just a teenager that has no idea what it means to support a family.”
Jens tried to not let his dad's words get to him. While he wasn’t a parent, he had been kind of forced to take over his dad’s responsibilities and play the head of the house for his family recently.
After a difficult struggle, Jens finally got his dad to his room and safely into bed. He wasn't so drunk he'd have to be watched over, but Jens took all the precautions - just in case. He put a pillow behind him so he'd stay on his side during the night and set a glass of water on the nightstand, right by his phone.
Jens gave Mohamed one last glance, his eyes darting to his sleeping mother. He wished that things could be different for her, that she didn’t have to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was a good mom and Jens knew she would do whatever it took to take care of her family, but he couldn't let her put her health in jeopardy.
With a heavy sigh, Jens quietly closed the door and returned to his own bed.
.
Thursday, January 23rd
''Hi,'' Amber said, interrupting Jens and Aaron's conversation, leaning in to kiss her boyfriend, lingering a bit too long - and with too much tongue - to be appropriate for school grounds. At least, in the middle of the main hall.
Jens rolled his eyes, tearing them away from the unwanted tongue battle in front of him. Seeing his annoyance, Jana saw this as an opening and smiled before going in for a kiss. Unlike Aaron, Jens dodged her lips and pulled out his phone, checking if he had any new messages.
He had seen her coming - of course he did -, but something inside him didn't want to kiss her. Especially when he was starting to feel something for a certain blue eyed boy.
Kissing at parties - or at home - was for fun, but kissing at school felt a bit too official for Jens' liking. No one kissed their Saturday hook up in the hallway between classes. He didn't want to give Jana the wrong idea and then hurt her feelings.
The brunette frowned, confused and hurt.
Jens could feel her sulking, but he didn’t say a thing, acting as if he wasn’t aware of what he did. Sometimes, playing dumb got you out of trouble.
Sulking, Jana pulled at her friend's arm, forcing their kiss to end. ''Amber.''
‘’What?’’ the blonde said, turning to Jana. ‘’Oh! Right. Change of plans. My parents are away this weekend so I’m celebrating my birthday a bit early. You’ll come?’’
‘’Sure babe, we’ll be there, right Jens?’’ Aaron nudged him, forcing the raven haired one to look up from his phone.
Jens faked a smile. ‘’Sure.’’
.
Jens pressed the doorbell and waited.
He had texted Moyo's guy earlier today and had been given an address to meet at. At first, the guy was skeptical, but Jens mentioned Moyo and everything was chill.
Dogs started barking at the doorbell noise and Jens' back straightened. A man told them to shut up - which they did -, and someone popped their head out, keeping the door mostly shut. He had a buzz cut, clean cut beard and the tattoo on his neck gave Jens the chills.
Seeing a new face, the man glanced up and down at Jens and raised an expectant eyebrow, asking what he wanted.
''Erm, I've been given this address. I'm here to see...Michiel.''
If he had told Moyo the truth, he wouldn’t have given Jens his dealer’s number. While his intentions were good, dealing drugs - even just weed - was very unsafe. The risks of getting caught and consequences were higher than just smoking it. But, all Jens saw was a way to make a quick buck and help his family.
The guy disappeared inside for a few seconds, probably talking to his boss, and came back to let Jens inside.
Unlike the previous guy, this one was much shorter, but non the less intimidating. He had a thick gold chain around his neck and a scar above his eyebrow. ‘’You asked for me?’’
‘’I…’’
Jens felt like an idiot. He had always been a pretty confident person, but Michiel’s presence made him nervous - with good reason. Drug dealers weren’t the kind of people you want to mess with.
‘’If you want to buy, see one of my guys, Kid. I just make the big deals.’’ Michiel was around to turn his back and leave, but Jens spoke up.
‘’Actually, that’s what I’m here for. A friend referred me to you, saying you might have something for me. A job.’’
Michiel glanced at Jens up and down, just like the previous guy, and scoffed. ''I already have my guys.''
Under his grey hoodie, smooth skin and dangly earring, Jens was too clean for Michiel’s taste. He could never pass as a pusher, he looked too young.
Seeing through his thoughts, Jens took another approach.
''Look at me. No one will suspect it. I...I can cover at school? Or even the skatepark? People there are always looking for weed. I’m sure I could bring you good cash.’’
The man hesitated still. Teenagers weren't the most trustworthy pushers. Most would either use all the drug and run off. But, something was different about Jens. He had this insistence and self-motivation that got Michiel’s attention.
‘’I need fast cash. Give me a chance. I...I really need it,'' Jens almost begged. He tried to cover his emotions, not wanting to sound too desperate even though, in his head, he was on his knees. He needed this job really bad.
Michiel’s silence got Jens scared he had blown his shot. ‘’You do have a pretty face,’’ he pointed out. ‘’Make sure I don't have to ruin it, okay?''
Jens nodded rapidly.
‘’You’re on trial. I’ll give you a couple grams and I need them sold as fast as possible. Give me a shout when you’re done.’’ Michiel paused. ‘’Don’t disappoint me, Kid.’’
.
Friday, January 24th
The bag of weed in his backpack felt heavy. Cert, there was more grams than Jens usually took to parties, but weed doesn’t weight much. It was more the pressure of having to sell it that made it heavy.
Being a smoker of green for over two years, it was his first time actually selling weed. He had sold some to guys at the skatepark, a gram or two, but he was never a pusher, as they called them. The term sounded dirty and wrong in his head. Jens knew it was something he shouldn’t be doing, but his parents needed money.
Robbe giggled at something Sander said, already a bit tipsy from the beers they drank at his place. He had hosted a pre-game, the first one since he moved back with his mom, and he didn’t slow down on the beers. At his boyfriend's behavior, Sander had kept it low with the alcohol, knowing he’ll be the one to carry Robbe home later and couldn’t do that if he was too intoxicated.
For the first time, Aaron hadn’t been present at the pre-game. Being the boyfriend of the birthday girl, he was already at the party, helping Amber and the girls with the decorations and all that.
Moyo pressed the doorbell, waiting for someone to open. They could hear the shitty pop music Amber loved from the doorstep. Sander grimaced at the music choice, Amber’s music taste being added to the list of things he didn’t like about her.
‘’I’m gonna....go see Kobe,’’ Jens announced, seeing him by the window with a couple guys from the skatepark. ‘’I’ll be right back.’’
Jens and Kobe weren’t friends. He had sold him weed once and shared a blunt behind some bushes at the skatepark one afternoon. What Jens knew was that the guy was always looking to buy weed, having no regular dealer, aka easy cash for Jens.
Moyo nodded, heading to the kitchen to look for Aaron with Robbe and Sander following behind, holding hands and walking close.
‘’ ‘Sup, man,’’ Kobe said as Jens approached them.
‘’Good, good,’’ Jens responded, responding to the brunet’s fist exchange.
‘’Long time no see.’’
‘’Yeah… Eh, I might have something for you.’’ Jens raised his eyebrows and motionned for Kobe to follow him.
Kobe nodded, a knowing smile on his lips, getting what Jens meant. He told his friends he was going with Jens for a few minutes, having something he wanted to tell him in private.
Jens almost snorted at Kobe’s lack of subtlety. This guy was worse than Aaron - if possible.
.
Half of his stock sold, thanks to Kobe and the guys they ran into on Amber’s balcony. Turned out selling weed wasn’t as difficult as Jens had initially thought. Being at a party was helping his sales, but it was relatively easy. People bought by chunks of two or three grams with promises of buying more next time Jens had some, not having a lot of cash on them.
Fiddling with the doors, Jens found himself in the bathroom, trying to hide from the outside world that sometimes got a bit too overwhelming. It’s not that he didn't like to party, he just hadn't been in the mood lately. There was a lot on his mind and, sometimes, he just couldn’t escape it.
‘’Hiding from someone?’’
The voice startled Jens, but when he saw who it was he just shrugged. ‘’I don’t feel like partying tonight, is all.’’
Lucas hummed. ‘’Mind if I join?’’ He reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled out a slightly cooked joint. ‘’I have weed. Straight from Netherlands.’’
Who was Jens to refuse free weed. He shifted in the tub, making room for Lucas.
‘’I’ve been wanting to ask: why did you move here? I know your parents got divorce, but isn’t changing countries is a bit extreme?’’ He passed the joint to Lucas, head leaned back against the tiled wall, starting to feel the buzz.
Lucas smiled at the ceiling. ‘’Try telling my father that. If you ask me, he tried to take me away from my mom; if you ask him, he got a job offer he couldn’t refuse.’’ He took a drag and exhaled the smoke through his nose. ‘’I didn’t want to go, but according to the judge, he’s the one who can offer me a ‘better life’. So I had to go with him.’’
‘’Why would he take you away from your mom? Is she ill or something.’’
‘’Or something,’’ Lucas confirmed, not comfortable talking about this part of his life yet. He handed Jens the joint again.
‘’Left a girl at home?’’
Lucas snorted. ‘’A girl? Who said I’m into girls?’’
Jens shrugged, not knowing what to answer.
Lucas never explicitly said who he was attracted to, why did Jens assume that he was straight? By default, maybe? Despite all the progress the LGBTQ+ community is making in society, history had a way of bleeding into our subconscious. So, unless someone showed a ‘behavior that defied the default’, they were classified as straight.
‘’I tried girls, but it wasn’t for me,’’ Lucas started. He shook his head, thinking back at his mistake. ‘’They’re pretty, but it wasn’t doing it for me, you know?’’
Jens nodded. A part of him understood what Lucas meant, but another didn’t. Unlike Lucas, Jens liked girls. Their long hair, sweet perfume, smooth skin - and boobs. But, more recently, he found himself looking at boys - one, in particular.
‘’I was in love with a boy - my best friend,’’ Lucas continued. ‘’He had a girlfriend, who was also my friend, and I fucked it all up.’’
‘’Your chances with him?’’ Jens tried.
‘’No. That was pretty much dead from the start,’’ Lucas explained with a chuckle. ‘’Our friendship, their relationship.’’
‘’So, you’re a homewrecker?’’
Lucas gasped, kicking Jens’ leg playfully. Jens gave him a small grin.
‘’Hey what happened to sharing? You’re hogging the weed,’’ Jens pointed out, mildly annoyed.
''Come and get it,'' Lucas teased, pulling the joint at arm's length, away from Jens's reach. There was a challenging tone in his voice, almost daring Jens to come closer.
A bit too intoxicated - and high - to think properly, Jens leaned over, hovering over Lucas as he tried to get a hold of the joint. Lucas laughed, moving the lit joint every time Jens was close to take it. Jens was getting frustrated, his reflexes slower than usual because of the marijuana.
Jens started laughed too, having difficulty holding himself up in the small tub. ''Stop it.''
Lucas continued his little game, their laughter caused Jens to lose balance and slip. Thankfully, he was able to grab at the tub's edge, preventing himself from crushing Lucas under - or cracking his skull.
''Sorry,'' Jens apologized.
He was about to raise himself back up, but stopped when he realized how dangerously close they were to each other, faces only a few inches apart. Jens's body stilled, breath catching in his throat as his heart rate started to pick up behind his chest. His dark eyes easily found Lucas's blue ones and Lucas stopped laughing. He stared back at Jens, taking in his sharp cheekbones and plump lips.
Jens made the first move, eyelids slowly fluttering shut as he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips on Lucas.
Undoubtedly, when Jens came to this party, he didn't have the intention of kissing Lucas in Amber's bathtub. But, one thing led to another and here he was, sitting back in the tub and kissing the new kid.
Sparks didn't fly when their lips touched, which was a bit disappointing. Or, maybe it did? The weed was confusing his senses.
Kissing a boy wasn't that much different than kissing girls, in the end. It was the same mechanics; lips on lips - and sometimes tongue. Lucas' lips were very soft for a boy. They tasted like weed and beer too, which Jens didn't mind. It was a nice change from the usual sweet and sticky feeling of glosses and lipsticks or whatever girls put on their lips.
A breathy moan left Lucas' lips as one of Jens' hands came up to cup his jaw, holding him in place as his tongue grazed over Lucas' mouth, teeth closing on his bottom lip and pulling. Jens' senses were buzzing and his mind was too far behind to function.
Lucas' free hand snaked behind Jens' neck, grasping at his thick, dark hair, giving it a slight tug, the single earring dangling as they kissed. Jens breathed a moan into the kiss at the feeling and Lucas smirked, content with himself, before doing it again.
Fuck. How did he get here?
Jens broke the kiss, needing to catch his breath and the brunet took advantage of the taller one's neck being exposed to trail his lips up and down the tanned skin. It will most likely leave marks behind, but Jens couldn’t be bothered to care. At the moment, it felt really good.
Jens cradled Lucas’ face in his hands, guiding him back up and brought their lips together again. This time, the kiss was softer and slower, savoring the feeling of those beautiful pouty lips he had wished to kiss for weeks.
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ayellowcurtain · 4 years
Text
could you do a one-shot about Robbe meeting Sander's mum when they get back together, maybe just before Christmas? And Robbe is insecure bc he knows Sanders mum likes Britt a lot // can you write something where robbe goes to see sander at school but sander has a charcoal or paint on his hand so he cant hold his face or give hugs but robbe being a kola is not too thrilled at that. // Can you write something with jealous Robbe (not with Britt tho)
The streets are mostly empty, just a few cars pass by him, all in a rush to get home and to their families, probably. It stings a little bit just thinking about it, but after everything, Robbe is not that worried anymore. He’s trying to live minute by minute. Robbe doesn’t get why Sander had to go to college the week before Christmas, but he didn’t say anything. As long as it makes Sander feel good, Robbe is on board.
He knows where he’s going when he enters the building this time, taking his beanie off, trying to make his hair presentable again as he stops exactly where he did the first time he came to see Sander. There’s no model in the center, just a few students doing whatever with pain in huge pieces of paper. The music is muffled by the big glass door, but it’s definitely not Bowie, so it’s probably not Sander’s playlist. He’s distracted with his drawing, using his hands as brushes, talking to a girl right next to him every few seconds and Robbe can feel how his own cheeks start to hurt from smiling too much.
It doesn’t go unnoticed how the girl keeps peeking at Sander’s drawing, trying to find something to talk about and Robbe can’t help but think she looks a lot like Britt, but Sander is not even looking at her, completely focused on his paper. Maybe Robbe is just traumatized for life by blonde, small and sassy girls, but he tries not to think about her or about how the new girl is clearly trying to hit on his boyfriend.
He knocks on the door, but when he opens it, the music is too loud so it’s obvious that nobody would hear it. He’s not sure if he can just get in, but he steps inside, hoping someone will notice him. The guy right in front of Sander does - fancy glasses, big mouth, curly hair - and he turns the music down.
“Hi…” The guy is clearly waiting for Robbe to say what he needs, but Sander finally turns when he hears Robbe’s voice, giving him a soft smile.
“Hello, cutie.” Everyone smiles a little when they notice that Robbe is not just a random guy trying to interrupt their work and they go back to their papers, except for the girl next to Sander. Robbe can see that she’s still watching them from the corner of her eyes.
When they’re close enough, Robbe smiles, tilting his head up and Sander does the thing where he gets so close, but turns away at the very last second, smiling even wider.
“My hands are dirty, Robbe.” He whispers as Robbe whines, putting his hand on Sander’s chest, holding his shirt to pull him close again.
“I can touch you, you don’t have to touch me.” He gets on his tiptoes, putting one arm around Sander’s neck, the other still on his chest, pulling him down for an uninhibited kiss, making sure to look at the girl behind Sander for just a second. She’s finally not looking at them, worrying about her work.
“Someone has a plan today…” Sander says against his lips when they finally stop and Robbe opens his eyes when he hears his boyfriend’s voice, giving him just another quick kiss.
“Actually, it’s you that has plans for us tonight. Plans that I would love to postpone…” Sander smiles fades a little as he leaves a kiss on Robbe’s cheek before stepping back to not get him dirty with paint too.
“I know, but I would prefer if we just get this over with, yeah? We’ll have to do it anyway, so let’s just do it now and go live our lives away from the drama.” Sander smiles again, brushing his nose against Robbe’s, looking at with such care that Robbe can’t say no to him. “I’m just going to go wash my hands and we can go.” Sander crashes their lips together again and rushes out of the classroom, leaving Robbe around a bunch of cool people he doesn’t know.
They do a very quick round of introductions and Robbe makes sure to collect all of Sander’s things, putting inside his bag, waiting for his boyfriend right next to the blonde girl. 
“Are you ready?” Sander comes back with clean hands, running his fingers through his hair, smiling when he kisses Robbe again.
-
The closer they get to the door, the more it makes Robbe want to leave, but Sander holds his hand tighter, pulling him closer.
“Hey, look at me. It’s just one night, ok? She just wants to meet you, spend an hour or two interrogating you and we’ll be free. And I’m here to help you, I won’t let her scare you away.” Robbe leans forward, pressing his forehead against Sander’s chest and his free hand quickly comes to the back of Robbe’s neck, playing with his hair and kissing behind his ear.
“Ok, sorry for being so dramatic.” Robbe takes a very deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.
“No need to apologize, you’re not being dramatic.” Sander smiles against the back of his neck, giving him some space to look up, asking for a kiss that Sander rushes to give him.
“You’re coming back to the flat with me, right?” He knows he’s being selfish and a little insensitive. It’s not like Sander’s mom is a monster that’ll keep her son hostage when they’re done eating. Sander doesn’t seem to mind his childish behavior, putting his hand back on Robbe’s neck, pulling him closer again for one of those kisses that make his ears ring, his brain stop working and leaves both of them breathless afterward.  
“Yes, I’m going home with you after dinner. I can’t sleep without my favorite blanket.” He wiggles his eyebrows and Robbe rolls his eyes, even though he knows Sander is not wrong. Maybe after everything they went through, Robbe became just a little more clingy and insecure, hugging Sander with his arms and legs when they sleep. He just wants to make sure that there’s no way for Sander to leave without having to wake him up too.
Sander’s mom is the only thing keeping them from sleeping together every night. She demands that Sander sleeps at home at least from Monday to Thursday. She’s a little overprotective of her son, but Sander’s deciding not to pick a fight with her now, they don’t talk about it, but Robbe knows Sander can feel guilty for what happened almost three weeks ago.
As Robbe is still trying to gather some courage, Sander finally turns his back to him and opens the door, dragging Robbe inside right behind him.
“We’re home…” He closes the door after Robbe and winks at him, pulling him inside.
It’s a fancy apartment, very well decorated, but Robbe doesn’t have much time to look around. Sander’s mom appears right away, cleaning her hands on a towel. She looks at Sander and then at Robbe, giving him the best fake smile she can.
They say hi and act like they haven’t seen each other that Friday night and Sander quickly pulls Robbe away, saying he needs to see his bedroom. 
It’s not like he doesn’t get it, Robbe has a mom too, but his mom loves Sander. And he knows his relationship with Sander’s mom won’t be as good because she would much rather have Britt, the perfect girl, as her son’s girlfriend, but she can’t choose for him. And if it’s up for them, she’ll have to accept Robbe eventually because he has no plans on ever leaving Sander’s side.
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nunonabun · 4 years
Note
Turnadette #20?
20 …on a scar.
Something of a follow-up to this. Fairly long, so it’s under the cut.
He set his bag down heavily. Sister Frances had been nervous about the labour of a first-time mother that was running a bit long and he’d opted to go and assist her. His presence ended up being more helpful for morale than for any medical assistance, but he was happy to help in any way he was needed. And he joyfully wet the baby’s head with Mr. Allen before returning home for the evening. Though the work had been far from demanding, he was thoroughly exhausted. A concern pricked at his ego, such a calm call-out wouldn’t have taken so much out of him even five years ago. Mr. Allen’s jovial comments about how relieved the good doctor must be to have left this trying experience behind him years ago would have been water off a duck’s back when Tim was still running about in short trousers.   
He shrugged off the troubling thoughts along with his coat, turning his attention to what supper Shelagh had left for him in the oven. 
Nothing. He sighed. She knew he’d been called out.
He made himself a sandwich and wolfed in down before making his way upstairs. 
Shelagh was just coming out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her hair, a slight cloud of steam emerging from the open door. She seemed to glow in the moonlit bedroom. He probably smelled of sweat and the smoke of the pack of Woodbines Mr. Allen had puffed through during his wife’s gruelling labour.
Frustration at the contrast of their evenings sharpened his words. 
“Looks like you had a relaxing evening. Is there any hot water left, or did you go through that along with the supper?”
Shelagh had the nerve to look affronted. “I’m sure there’s enough for a bath, and I’m sorry about your supper, there wasn’t any food left.”
Patrick pursed his lips, dissatisfied with the explanation. “You always cook for five, six when Timothy’s home, it couldn’t have been to hard to make enough for me as well.”
“Well, I apologize but I didn’t realize just how much Teddy would decide to throw on the floor and onto myself and his sisters, nor how much they would throw back before I managed to calm them down.” Her voice carried all of the tension he could see in her body. “I could make you something simple if you’re hungry.”
“No, no, I’ve done it myself while you had a nice soak.” That was unkind, he knew that, and he was mildly ashamed of himself, but it felt so good to let out his frustration.
“I’m sure it wouldn’t be preferable if you found me in bed with cottage pie in my hair,” she retorted sharply.
“I wasn’t aware it took hours to clean off a bit of cottage pie.”
“It takes a good while if the pie has been used to decorate the kitchen and you have three crabbit children to clean up and settle on your own.” Her eyes were reproachful, arms folded.
Patrick scoffed, “Oh, so now I’m at fault because I was out doing my job?”
“Well, I wouldn’t mind having a bit more support around the house. It’s past time you thought about taking on a young doctor to help with some of the work,” she forced her voice back down to a whisper, words coming out almost as a hiss.    
“I’m not fit for the dustbin just yet,” he snapped. “Sister Julienne is older than I am and you don’t go about telling her to give up work!”
“Patrick,” the forced conciliatory tone frustrated him while also making him feel exceedingly childish. “I never said you should give up work. It’s just that you have many calls on your time and for you especially being overworked is… unhealthy.”
He snorted and ran a hand down his face. “So I’m old and fragile then?
Shelagh was visibly struggling to restrain her own frustration. “No, that’s not what I’m saying and you know it.”
“Do I?” He fixed his eyes on her again, exasperated. “My war neurosis is in the past, we’ve established that. Yet you manage me like I might become an invalid at any moment.”
She blinked and frowned, recoiling as though the words had been a physical blow. “I thought that was helpful, reducing the stressors that might put you in the state you were in that time - ”
“I got out of much worse than that state on my own after the war, you don’t need to witter on about it every time I have a long day.” 
“I’m not wittering on about it, I’m just trying to take care of your health.” She looked hurt, and he harnessed his anger to push through the guilt.
He rolled his eyes. Could she not just let it go? “I don’t need to be taken care of, for goodness sakes, I’m your husband not your patient.”  
“Yes,” she agreed, her accent, thick with the emotion of the situation, stretched the ‘e’ to a melody of its own. She was very distressed now. “And that’s why I care so much about your wellbeing. I would have though you might as well, if you didn’t let your ego become more important than effect your absences have on our family.”
His words caught in his throat. His thoughts were moving to fast to catch ahold of. Patrick turned quickly and walked out of the room, out of the house and into the blissfully quiet night, leaving them each to their own grievances.
-*-
He had closed the door softly, thankfully mindful that this argument would be even worse with upset toddlers joining it. Shelagh was on the brink of tears. They’d grown in leaps and bounds since the early, confusing days of their marriage, but new challenges were never shy to present themselves. He needed space to process their argument, she knew that, but she needed him to talk to her. Not to talk at her and then close in on himself when she pushed back. Perhaps it was selfish of her to resent the feeling that he didn’t consider her needs. Had she properly told him that sometimes the way he took space hurt her? Or that she felt her own work never stopped? 
But why should she always have to tell him these things? She figured out what he needed when he struggled to communicate. She was always looking for ways to manage his stress and make things easier for him. Why could he not try to do that for her? That thought stood out loudly in her mind, and she disliked herself for it. Perhaps she had become selfish since she left the Order. Men often struggled to communicate their feelings and perceive those of their wives, was it not part of her role as a wife, as someone who loved and was loved, to facilitate that communication? And in any relationship each partner had different strengths, it was ridiculous to assume they were equally balanced in every element of their personality. That they complimented each other in many ways was as much of a strength as the qualities they had in common. But there were things that needed to be shared equally, she had learned that over the course of her marriage, and communication was one of them. 
She longed to speak to him about these thoughts, to have a discussion about it without their anger flaring up and ruining what understanding they’d managed to build up between them. Perhaps they still could this evening. Shelagh hated going to bed angry, and she knew Patrick did as well. He would be back from his walk soon enough, cooled off and likely more able to talk about these things. Perhaps she should take the time to stabilize her own emotions. She put on the kettle and began to hum the Vespers service to herself, emptying her mind of all but the calm the music brought her. 
~
It was misting lightly, the small particles of moisture diffracting the light of the streetlamps and causing the cobbles to shine.
He couldn’t rid himself of the memory of her face. She had looked hurt, tired and defeated, a look he sometimes saw if the children were being particularly trying and every other facet of her life conspired to add to the chaos. Normally he wasn’t one of them. A wave of guilt washed over him. He didn’t add to the chaos, but he didn’t help with it either. Not as much as he ought. Dr. Kenley had commented recently about how unnatural it was that wives were pursuing careers after they’d had children and husbands were assuming more responsibility for child-rearing, demeaning themselves, he’d said. Patrick had thought his family to be beyond those old-fashioned strictures. He and Shelagh were a modern couple, equals, sharing every element of their lives with one another. This honesty and closeness was something he cherished deeply. But was it also something he took for granted? Many of their conversations recently had been practical, solving problems and preventing disasters only on the level of scheduling, engaging with the emotions beneath that. He’d neglected to explain the concern he felt at growing older while his family was still young, and he’d neglected to ask about the troubles that weighed on her mind. He stared up at the moon, suddenly longing for closeness with his wife, to explain what he’d been feeling and apologize for what he’d been blind to. He turned back, his pace accelerating as he neared his home. 
-*-
She met him at the door, looking much as though she’d gone through the same introspection as he had. He gently took her in his arms, relief enveloping him as her arms encircled him. 
“I’m so sorry, my love. I took my frustrations out on you, and it was completely unfair.” He held out the olive branch, knowing that as the instigator, it was his responsibility to do so. 
She accepted it. “I certainly didn’t help the situation. I should have asked you to take your space before we talked.”
“And I’m sorry for taking it the way I did. I know it hurts you when I run off in the middle of a conversation.”
“It does,” she admitted. “But it’s nothing that talking it over now won’t heal.”
He nodded and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I’d like that too.”
She sat on the couch, and he removed his wet shoes and joined her.
“Do you really feel I treat you as an invalid?” She asked immediately, her face lined with concern.
He thought about his answer, trying to untangle his own emotions. “Not exactly, that was overstating things. I love that you look out for things that may… trigger me,” he started slowly, “but there are moments when I feel it’s a bit much.”
She accepted this revelation. “Would you tell me then, when you feel that way?”
“I will, absolutely. And much of the time I really do appreciate it. I wouldn’t have gotten through my last relapse, wouldn’t be able to be as open and comfortable as I am about it now without you, I want you to know that.”
She smiled, her eyes warm and soft now. But her brow remained furrowed. “So when I reproached you for working so much -”
He cut her off, “That was completely justified, both for my own sake and for you and the children.” He took a deep breath and held her hands in his own. Their warmth, and the gentle way her her thumb stroked his fingers soothed him. “If I’m being honest, you were right about my ego. I was feeling sensitive about my age, often am, really, and I think I’ve been trying to prove something to myself, and to everyone else, by working more.”
“Oh Patrick,” he could hear the pain in her voice. He pushed on, “It is self-destructive, as you pointed out, and it’s getting in the way of spending the time I want to spend with you and our children. And it leaves you with all of the burden of work and family. That’s not the life I want to be leading. That’s not what I want for us.”
Her soft hand on his face drew him into a healing embrace, the understanding and love they communicated through their lips, through the acceptance of the feelings they’d shared with one another a balm to old wounds. Their conversation continued long into the night, the sleep they lost was well worth the understanding and closeness they gained. Such an argument might happen again, they both knew that, but both learned from it, worked to be better partners. And they grew closer, as they knew they always would for as long as they loved one another enough to work through the problems they encountered and any friction that arose. Until death parted them.
[send me a number and ship and I will ship you a fic]
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worldcakecakecake · 4 years
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The Red Mask
In 18th century Valencia, Spain, thrives the legend of the Red Mask, a character with stories of bravery and heroism that have enchanted Lovino Valenti since he was a young child. On a new business deal, his family moves from Naples and Lovino finds himself wishing for adventure and action away from his duties in this new Spanish city. He is given that chance when he joins a group of masked heroes that fall under the command of the famed Red Mask. He grows a close and fiery relationship with the masked man of his tales and dreams, and without knowing his identity, he lets himself be swayed by his seduction, trust and daringness, to passions surely forbidden when he doesn’t even know his actual name or who he really is.
So, yes, I know I said that The Red Mask will be in hiatus, but after thinking about it, I decided that instead I’m just going to post whatever amount is good for a chapter instead of filling a full draft page. Either way you guys were gonna be kept waiting, but I think this is the option that makes you guys wait less. I hope you enjoy!
                                                              Chapter 2
Lovino had awakened early, unusual for him, but in all honesty, he was excited to be in a new place, a new city, a new country and wanted to enjoy well from his first morning, adjusting and getting to know how the sun shone.
 Perhaps only two servants were working. He left his brother asleep in the bed and he hadn’t heard of nonno yet.  The house was in a delightful silence, his steps adding to this melodious morning, letting himself breathe it all in, trying to control himself from skipping to the breakfast room. He was proud to admit he was happy.
 “Buenos dias!” It had broken the moment he was met with the other, already taking sitting in the table and enjoying from a drink. Lovino froze at the entrance, nervous, fretting, forgetting his words or how to even react.
 “How do you feel?” Antonio smiled in utter calm.
 “What are you doing here?” Lovino found himself asking, his eyes suspicious, locking into the Spanish man as if it could give him some sort of truth.
 “Um…” Antonio gazed about, wondering truly what the problem could be. He looked over himself, to his drink, even patted his hair to make sure he presented himself as he intended. “…having breakfast,” he shrugged.
 Lovino rolled his eyes, then remembering he was to live there and thus it was obvious he would want to have breakfast with them. “Never mind,” he simply uttered, taking seating, blessing that there was already bread and fruits on the table, filling a small presented plate. Lovino continued with his food like he was the only one there, not sparring a word and Antonio would just sit there…staring, taking occasional sips from his drinks, as if waiting for some kind of show.
 “What?” Lovino easily tired of it.
 Antonio shrugged, “was kind of hoping you would give me your good morning as well.”
 “I don’t feel like it.”
 “It’s simple courtesy.”
 “I don’t feel like giving it to you right now,” he took a harsh bite of his bread, loud and messy as to keep it sole in the room.
 Antonio still kept his smile and continued his watch, switching from the other to the decorations on the walls, on the plates, on the table, letting that silence reign. “Maybe tomorrow you’ll give me a good morning,” he hoped.
 Lovino shrugged, “let’s see if I’m in the mood.” He was done, he could pretty much stand and leave by now, but he was used to always spending his mornings with his grandfather and brother, chatting and being granted his duties for the day. It didn’t seem like he should go clean anything, or go to the marketplace, or help his brother with something he couldn’t carry…but he had to be given something. He refused to give another word to this stranger or to stand without having spent the morning with his family, so he joined him on the non-impressive staring, on the same details, colors, admiring, one pretending the other wasn’t there. Graciously they heard other sounds, footsteps, some rushed, stumbling, surely a fall, the other prepared, sure and with clear direction. Lovino could easily tell who with a roll of his eyes.
 Feliciano was the first to reach, still in his night clothes, legs bare but as excited as if he was properly dressed for a party. “Good morning!” He shouted well for the entire house surely.
 “Good morning!” Antonio returned just in earnest, with a glance to Lovino surely hinting at how it should be done. Lovino scuffed and completely turned away.
 “It’s so nice to have someone new for breakfast. Is it all right? Do you like it? If anything I can go make you something!” Feliciano excited.
 “Feli, amore, calm down, no need, we now have cooks that can do just that,” and so Augusto introduced himself to the day, dressed poised and well to deal with business surely.
 “I would still like to make something from time to time,” the younger pouted.
 “And you will have that chance! But for now, let us relax and enjoy our fist morning here, properly.” He sat down and Feliciano followed along, starting instant conversation with all in the table. Antonio joined simply to have a chat, while Lovino remained mostly silent, glaring whenever Feliciano mentioned something too over the top.
 “-and now I am sure that this mansion is in fact, not haunted,” he declared with a deep smile, flowing his knife around as he spread butter on his bread.
 “I told you so,” Augusto commented with his own smile, enjoying his younger grandson’s childness.
 “Honestly, Nonno just mentioned the couple and you suddenly made up this tale and you actually believed it,” Lovino rolled his eyes.
 Feliciano shrugged, “you never know.”
 “I told you they died in Morocco.”
 “Maybe they were really attached to this place.”
 “It is a gorgeous house, I can see why someone would want their spirit to continue on here,” Antonio seemed to defend Feliciano’s absurdity.
 “Exactly!”
 “Well, last night gave you enough proof that not.”
 “I hope you actually go back to your own bed tonight.”
 “Don’t you like sharing the bed with me?” Feliciano pouted.
 “It’s not that I mind, I just think we should enjoy from our chance to have our own space and privacy.”
 “This is really your first time having a home like this?” Antonio wondered.
 Lovino wished that they didn’t inform so openly to a stranger.
 “My boys, yes.”
 “Nonno belonged to a noble family of merchants in Rome, but after he met our Nonna, he eloped and ran away!” Feliciano eyes always glowed this way whenever he told the tale.
 “I confess, yes. She was Greek and from very poor standings. My family heavily disagreed with the match as they didn’t think it would be fruitful for our business. But my love for her was stronger than whatever scorn my family held. So we ran away and settled in Naples where I started building my own trade. We also spent some years in Florence and Venice.”
 “And he had Mamma, then Mamma had us! And we were really happy…even though we never got to meet our Nonna,” Feliciano saddened, Lovino giving in but only slightly, while Augusto seemed like he had been heavily pierced.
 “If…I may ask…what happened?” Antonio wanted to dare.
 “Died in childbirth…” Augusto drank to try and swallow whatever despair, “I had to raise our daughter by myself.”
 “And…where is your daughter?”
 The air became tense, frowning instantly when it had been so joyous.
 “She was killed,” Lovino made the instant blow, wanting to get over it and let it pass before it lingered and made them think about it longer.
 “Oh…that’s…that’s…awful, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have intruded-”
 “If you are to live here, you were bound to find out at some point and I’m sure you will learn more.”
 Antonio still held deep questions but preferred to leave it for a time they could be more comfortable with his presence, perhaps considering him a friend by then. “She must have been a good soul. I am sure it is resting well in heaven with our lord.”
 “Lovino and I think she’s an angel up there,” Feliciano admitted such childish notion, making Lovino want to sink beneath the table. Antonio found it endearing, smiling at Lovino to show how sweet he thought it.
 “But now,” Augusto dropped his cutlery on his plate to signify he was done, “I want my boys to get to know their surroundings and discover everything this city has to offer,” he smiled to them, expectant and excited. “I was hoping you could perhaps offer them some sort of tour, if you do not mind that is, Antonio.”
 “I’ll be glad to!” He sounded truly delighted.
 Feliciano clapped, ready to jump that instant and head off.
 “Nonno, I really think I should help you with-”
 “Oh, Lovino, there is no need! I’m sure your time will come, but for now, enjoy yourself, learn about your new city and then you can properly focus on business… all right?” His grandfather cradled his head sweetly, a gesture that hadn’t changed since his childhood and he hoped shall forever remain, for it did well to calm, remind of love no matter the harsh circumstances…even his age and their partnership in business now.
 “…sì, Nonno.”
 “I leave you to enjoy the day,” he smiled in farewell and left them to their plans.
 Feliciano hurriedly went to change, while Lovino sighed, moving over to wait for Antonio and Feliciano by the main door. He preferred not to spend more silent alone time with the cleric.
  It was a weekday, yet the Italian boys found the city to be as plentiful as if a festival was occurring. It was hard to move themselves between when they walked down small gorgeous streets with sellers offering the most fantastic wares, but when they reached open squares, they could breathe and admire buildings formed with arm and unique craftsmanship. Antonio did well to tell countless of stories, explaining and bringing more knowing to the boys’ mind of the city. Feliciano was already enamored, while Lovino constantly craved for either something to eat or to head back home.
 “And he went alone…to Thailand?!” Feliciano was incredulous.
 “Not completely alone…he did bring Miss Luna Odalis Gutiérrez Martirio!”
 Lovino thought it would have been more exciting if Antonio had not dramatized and sung the name so well, but it had Feliciano clapping.
 “Oh! So, they did runaway together! I hope they’re happy over there!”
 “There’s a rumor that the last message that was sent to the Ibarras spoke of a coming child.”
 Feliciano got even more excited and Lovino rolled his eyes, in its change noticing a stand with gorgeous artistry of stone, in wondrous colors, some shinning with precious jewels. He didn’t care if he stood back alone as he gazed at a particular one, depicting a splendorous harbor. In his distraction, he was unaware of an approaching carriage, running widely and ignorant to the calls of guards. By the time Lovino heard and noticed, he was well on the way, cowered for a coming hit surely. He was pulled to an alluring scent, feeling a strong chest and a comfort he didn’t think he could feel in such crowded streets. In this sudden fear, he lounged and wrapped his arm well around this body, practically cuddling into it as he breathed heavily, watching the carriage continue its rampage throughout the city unaware of what it had almost done.
 “Are you all right?” And Lovino met enchanting green eyes, with a smile and a frame that exhilarated his heart in a way he rather it wasn’t in.
 “I-I..I’m fine!” And he pushed him away, rubbing his suit off as if it could remove the gesture.
 “We’ll be done in a short while, I just want you to see this amazing view, so I’ll need you to stay close.”
 “Fine…fine,” and Lovino followed, keeping his head on the ground now, on Antonio and Feliciano’s footsteps, hoping for no more distractions.
 The walk took a couple of more minutes, elevating high walls and roads until they stood at a good height, the city well-presented around them, close, gorgeous and with a wonderful warming sky to complement. Lovino awed as Feliciano, both coming to the edge, to the hold of the railing as if with it they could take the city into their hands.
 “Oh…it’s spectacular, Antonio!” Feliciano worded the compliments surely Lovino thought as well.
 “I’m very glad you like it,” he smiled, taking Lovino’s side in the leaning.
 “Have you lived here your whole life, Antonio?” It seemed like Feliciano was going to do most of the talking and questioning.
 “I only moved when I was sixteen, so…I’ve lived about fourteen years here.”
 “With you family?”
 “The church is my family.”
 Lovino finally raised with a questioning gaze, half open mouthed that Antonio was eager to hear words from.
 “Oh, that’s very nice! Antonio, you’ve told us many great things about the city and it was all wonderful, but, is there something I can ask about that I hope won’t be too much?”
 “Go ahead.”
 Lovino was terrified he would mention it.
 “I, and I know Lovino too, want to know if you’ve ever seen the Red Mask!” At the famed hero, he came close and whispered.
 “The Red Mask? …You know about him?” Antonio tried to contain large amount of surprise.
 “Of course, we do! We’ve been hearing all the news ever since they started with a sword fighting contest in Salamanca! The Spanish sailors and merchants that visited Nonno would sit me and Lovino down and tell us the stories. We still love those tales dearly!”
 “You do?” Antonio directed it with a smirk to Lovino.
 “Used to…”
 “Don’t lie, Lovi. Just last night you told me one of them.”
 Lovino cringed and tried to sustain himself from shutting Feliciano with a hurting grasp of his ear.
 Antonio chuckled, a heavenly ring to get Lovino smoothed. “No shame! I myself tell the stories to some of the kids in the church and I get as excited with them as if the first time I was seeing him.” Or as he wasn’t him.
 “So you have!” Feliciano raised and Lovino had to grip to contain his own.
 “Well, this is his city, everyone has taken a glimpse at all kinds of actions.”
 “Like which one?” They begged wanting a tale, and Antonio could see that Lovino held that same openness of his ear. Antonio smirked and began one of his most recent adventures.
 “-and thus the ladies were saved. The Red Mask prevented that cart from reaching and dealt with the culprits. I was waiting for the shipment actually and met with the Red Mask himself telling me what happened, along with one of his companions, Neblina, the Mist Mask.” And the two smiled, a story well told. Antonio felt successful.
 “Does he really wear the Red Mask? All in red? Is it true that his eyes are as green as they say?”
 “How about we wait?”
 “For what?” Lovino questioned, showing disappointment for not being able to hear.
 “For you yourselves to meet him.”
 Feliciano glowed and clapped at such a coming chance.
 “Will we…really?” The was the most excitement Antonio could get out of Lovino that moment.
 “Like I said, this is his city, and from what I’ve heard, he’s working on a big rescue right now.” He grew serious, leaning more so to the views, looking, finding the dark palace nestled well, one Feliciano and Lovino could spot with his intense stare.
 “Do you know what about?” Feliciano asked.
 Lovino left his gaze on that palace, imagining it had something to do with it. To prove him so, Antonio pointed at the very place.
 “Keron Montaje.”
 Feliciano instantly gasped and whimpered, moving aside, shaking and tears quickly reaching his eyes. Lovino came to him, embraced, soothed and hummed words of comfort. Antonio hated that he could only but watch, only an extension of his hand ready to help in what the brothers needed.
 “Are you all right?”
 “I-I’m fine, I…I’m fine.” Yet Feliciano’s eyes were still reddened, leaning into his brother’s neck, wanting remain in that shield for now, not at all an assurance to Antonio.
 “Sorry, we just…don’t like hearing that name,” Lovino spoke.
 “I’m very sorry I mentioned it, I didn’t know…”
 “It’s all right, we…don’t like talking about it.” He hoped those words were enough of a warning to not ask any questions.
 “You…you know the Montaje?”
 “Yes…in ways we would prefer not to.” Lovino held Feliciano tight, caressing on, continuing his hums. “…he’s here…isn’t he?”
 Antonio sighed, looking once again to the palace, still hauntingly there. “Yes…I’m afraid.” Antonio held himself well from going on, Feliciano still in his state, not at all liking the glowing person he had recently met reduced to this.
 “Let’s head back now. We need to relax.” The brothers nodded and Antonio followed behind them, his body covering whatever glimpse to the evil place.
  Feliciano’s dinner that night was short, heading straight to bed afterwards, well, Lovino’s.
 After that discovery, Lovino doubted whatever chance at getting Feliciano sleeping in his own room, but understood, and let it, caressing his hair, whispering words of love and mentioning as many times as he needed that he was there, as well as Nonno and even Antonio.
 Two weeks had passed since the event, since they moved and since they found out. Antonio did well to not question despite how highly he wanted to. He continued his work as their guest, offering help in the household, in Feliciano’s teachings, bible readings, even words of advice in the business.
 Three days and Lovino was back into papers, numbers, accords, being an apprentice to his grandfather and learning as much as he could of what would one day be his company. It was hard to concentrate when that single name repeated, raging, sometimes taking it out on papers with complains or numbers that drove him mad. There had to be something that could be done, he could get justice, revenge, finally act and save, but a look to the thrown letters, checks and bills on the ground reminded him that his mind shouldn’t go as wild, shouldn’t endanger, shouldn’t worsen.
 “Lovino…these stories are just that, stories to excite your mind and keep your hopeful. We all need this sort of escapade from our dull, but they should remain as that. Let them do their job to protect, they know well the consequences and have prepared themselves for them, but you should focus on being safe. I’m sure it’s what the great Red Mask would want,” he heard his mother’s past voice in his head, he could almost feel her caress on his shoulders, taking his hair, kissing it, with another tale, another distraction, not these tragedies…not these papers.
 He sighed, noticing the darkness the day had become, dropping everything and decreeing himself done. He was comfortable in his chair, leaning back, stretching, even giving himself space to breathe. He should probably get to bed then…Feliciano was probably waiting for him…or he could surprise and could have gone to his own room. He stood, decided on snatching some frosted cookies from the kitchen while everyone was surely asleep and he thought he had the house pretty much for himself. He took four, successful, no one to spot him, munching happily, sucking his fingers and aweing at the taste, but even that wasn’t enough to distract him from the guarded object.
 It was kept in one of the reading rooms, centered along with all the shelves filled with books of history, art, science, poetry and of course their adventure and fantasy stories. Lovino entered the room, hypnotized by the elegance of the sword that was kept well in place. It was beautiful, crafted by what Lovino used to think were merfolks, using the aquamarine of their seas and smoothened soft stones from their shores, with golds, greens and looking like it could glide well in his hands as he swung and thrusted.
 It belonged to his grandfather…from his days as a soldier back when he was Lovino’s own age. He had proved to be ferocious, powerful, earning a well named place in the ears of all Rome. Smiths had given him this as a gift for his time, shortly before he had retired and settled more on the business. He didn’t like talking about those days much, while all Lovino wanted was to hear about them, hard to not imagine himself be that very proud soldier, earning those medals and recognitions that he doubted he would stop talking about to all.
 His arms were raised, his hands neared to the glass, to the key Augusto for some reason always left there, easily turning, opening and it was there for the air of the night, for Lovino’s touch.
 It wasn’t the first time…the handle was familiar to him, the weight nothing, the length Lovino knew well to guide without hitting a single object. He took the stance he had heard and seen many times, taken for himself as well. He imagined an enemy, going at him with precision, fierce, every swung surely death for whoever was unlucky to be there that instant. It was amazing how quiet he could while doing all this, Antonio wondered by the door, loving how the moonlight shined on him, making it seem like he was an angelic entity of dreams.
 “Incredible…” he found himself uttering, a break, a noticing. Lovino gasped, for a moment dropping the sword, luckily, he caught it with just as much grace, only letting the point fall at the carpet, grimacing and hoping it wouldn’t do anything to leave a noticeable mark. And from that serene glow of beauty, came deadly glares, frozen yet, fearing that any other movement could expose him more.
 “What are you doing here?” Lovino said with just as much edge.
 Antonio only moved forward, ignorant to his question, instead gazing to his final stand and then the enchanting sword that fitted well not only on his hands, but also on his entre persona.
 “Straighten up!” Came a surprising militant voice, power enough to get Lovino to do as commanded, and to Antonio, it came out elegantly placed without a single breath lost.
 Perfect, he kept repeating to himself as he rounded, making sure that it repeated in every part of his body…and it well did.
 “Forward!”
 And Lovino did so, sword well extended, posture immaculate, ready vengeance in his eyes to fight.
 “Very well…” Antonio faced him again, with cocky ease that Lovino didn’t fail to notice. He was standing nonchalant, unafraid of the sword pointed well at him. Lovino had a rather hard temptation to continue the extend and win if a slight drop of blood. He hated that look on his face and wanted it gone with even show of violence if he had to.
 “Now…” and from a hidden scabbard Lovino had never noticed until now, he raised his own sword, thin, small, rusted, not at all like the one of jewels and purest silver he himself held. Antonio was confident, spinning and letting it fly in the air before it faced him just as dangerously.
 “…we fight,” he curtsied and welcomed.
 “Are you serious?” With that ugly thing? Yet he dared hit it against his silver, a powerful strike that got Lovino completely lost on his standing and yet Antonio continued, Lovino turning rather messy as he focused on defending, many times practically falling, his knee hitting the ground more times than he should, eyes side glancing to make sure the furniture was still intact.
 “Are you insane?” He shouted, in his try to halt finding his stance again, the hold of his sword with Antonio’s kept, doing well to not grant any more movements. Antonio was impressed at how Lovino could well force him in his place, while the other’s worried expression was more on the surroundings, looking over to the halls for any that could come.
 “Nonno can wake up!” He growled.
 “So what?”
 “He can’t-he can’t…” he couldn’t tell him either.
 “He can’t know your using his priced possessed military days sword?” Antonio dared smirk.
 “Oh god! Just stop!” And there he was with deadly slashes, Antonio now taking the defense, but how he loved this fury, this fire, knowing, powerful and- oh wait! That was almost his head gone.
 “You are amazing!”
 “Shut up!” He only reigned more, Antonio’s stances and back leans the sole thing keeping him from landing on the ground. It was becoming straining, he stood again, grinding down Lovino’s sword with his own, the spark and force getting him to level back up so their swords could properly clash in battle, high, downward.
 Yes, Lovino was skillful, admirable, promising for so much more…but like many he had weaknesses, clear ones that showed that he was indeed still learning. Antonio took advantage of it, using that breath, an instant new force on his strength, a powerful slash that had the sword flying from Lovino’s grasp. He himself felt to the ground to catch it, saving the room from the loud clang, heavily breathing, defeated, kneeling…yet with so much sun in his hazel eyes that Antonio though it a defeat unlike any he had seen.
 “May I suggest breathing exercises to help keep them more controlled in battle, as well as trying new handle hand positions to make it easier at whatever change and outcome.” His smile was as an unchanging, with no trace of battle or exhaustion, while Lovino was sweating and finding it hard to even stand again.
 Antonio offered a hand to help him up, and Lovino took it without complain, balancing well, yet needing rest, his hold on the sword trembling, but he would not switch to anything when he looked to Antonio, bearing obvious questions and…impression at how a mere cleric could best him in a sword fight. It was a wondered gaze that had Antonio fueling, smiling on and thinking himself surely an object of dreams for Lovino.
 “It’s getting pretty late,” he put his own sword back in its hidden scabbard, “how about we both head to bed. We can make another match some other time.” He turned with a wave, his usual skip and direction…while Lovino was still debating with himself if this had all happened.
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reylo-trash-4ever · 4 years
Text
The Game Part 4
LOLOLOL so it’s been years and I bet everyone thinks I’ve fallen off the face of the earth but no bitch, I still live. Quarantine has given me time to write so whoo hoo!! Also, I will for sure be trying to set up an Ao3 account in the near future and that will most likely be my new main source to post this story, so look out for that!
In the mean time, please enjoy the newest installment, and sorry it’s so short. As always, shout outs go to my lovely and wonderful queen beans @scav-eng-er and @mojona1999. Y’all are the GREATEST! Happy Star Wars Day everyone and May the 4th be with you! 
The Game: Chapter 4 Rating: PG 
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to get my stolen laptop back.” Rey spoke matter-of-factly, her arms crossed over her chest and a defiant look in her eyes as she stared unblinkingly, and unwaveringly, up at Ben.
“I told you, you’d get it back tomorrow,” Ben responded, leaning on the left side of the doorway and blocking any possible entry. 
“Yeah, that’s what you wanted, but I decided on something different, so… here I am.” 
Rey started out strong, her voice fierce and determined, but she began to doubt herself and feel the weight of his amused gaze getting under her skin once again. She felt awkward standing there without moving, his tall frame towering over her in that intimidating way that she hated. 
“And what exactly did you decide?” Ben challenged, raising an eyebrow incredulously at her.
“Let me in and I’ll tell you.” Rey knew it was a long shot, but she was banking on his curiosity to take over common sense and meet her demands. Or maybe she was playing towards the pride he obviously had too much of, either way, she knew she was taking a risk. 
Ben’s amused smirk slowly fell from his lips and he didn’t try to hide the annoyed and inconvenienced look that followed. Rey held her breath, waiting for him to slam the door in her face or to yell at her for being so insubordinate, but instead, he let out the smallest of huffs and stepped aside. She took that as her cue to go in and nodded her thanks as she walked past him. 
Rey didn’t know what she expected his place to look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. She probably had some idea of a classic ‘rich boy penthouse’ apartment filled with luxuries that no one really needed, like game tables, a hot tub, racks on racks of expensive liquors, but she was wrong. A few steps down the small entryway hall led into a spacious living area with floor to ceiling, tinted glass windows that lined one side of the wall. Further to her left, Rey spotted an open kitchen with a small island in the middle. To her right was another hallway that most likely led to a master bedroom and bathroom. Another ajar door revealed what looked like a study, or some kind of office space. The decor was minimalistic, but definitely nice. Black leather sofas, a massive flat screen television, and marble countertops were just the most noticeable displays of wealth, although she could only assume there were plenty more not as easily seen. 
Truth be told, the place had a bit of charm to it. If you could call that uneasy ‘bring one spec of dirt into my home and you’ll be punished’ feeling “charm”. It was more like a picture perfect apartment, something you might see in a magazine. 
“So, are you ever going to stop ogling or are you finally going to tell me what you’re really doing here?” 
Rey turned over her shoulder and looked back at Ben, who was pushing the door closed behind him. It shut with a click and Rey felt her breath hitching in her throat again. Her plan was shaky, and being alone with a stranger in his apartment was only the beginning of how dangerous this could get. She couldn’t believe she was putting her job, and the possible promotion, at such a risk as this, but there was something about the opportunity that she couldn’t resist. 
“Well, Ben,” Rey began as she walked further into the room, pretending to keep her attention anywhere but on him and knowing that if she didn’t, he might see right through her ruse, “you obviously think I’m an idiot and incapable of keeping up with your ‘oh so wonderful’ self.” 
Rey paused to wait for his reaction, but he only raised an eyebrow and cocked his head slightly to the right in defense. She took his silence as a cue to continue. 
“Why else would you have given me your laptop after already taking mine? you could have easily just walked off with both and left me on my own, so what would you gain by giving me a key piece in learning more about you? Well, that’s when I realized that the answer was probably nothing, and I highly doubt you’re the kind of man who does anything if there isn’t something in it for him. So, then I thought that the laptop switch might be one big show to try and keep me off the trail of what you’re really planning.
“But then I came over here, and from the look of things,” Rey scanned around the room again, letting her watchful eyes linger in the direction of the bedroom and then the front door, “you were a little ‘preoccupied’ to be doing any real work at this point.” 
“So, you two met after all?” Ben asked, taking the opportunity while she was in between thoughts to make his way closer to where she now stood. He moved past her and bent down, opening a drawer and pulling out the bottle of wine he intended on having by himself. 
“We didn’t, and it’s really none of my business,” Rey said quickly, dismissing her interest and his curiosity on how she might have reacted to his personal life, “I just thought you’d be going through my laptop to get more information on me, since you went through all the trouble of taking it. Except, I can see that my bag lays untouched over on your end table, which means you haven’t even opened it. Why is that?” 
While she spoke, Ben walked to some cabinets with see through glass doors above his sink and took a long stemmed glass from them. He returned to the counter and popped the bottle, pouring himself a healthy amount of the dark liquid. Finally, when Rey finished with her question, he returned his attention back to her and gave her a smirk. 
“Because I already know everything there is to know about you, sweetheart,” Ben replied, tipping his glass towards her in a mocking salute before taking a sip. 
“I told you to stop calling me that,” Rey snapped, not missing a beat, “and there’s no way that could be true. You can’t learn every aspect about a person through just the internet and newspapers, that’s just ridiculous. Especially in our profession, genuine human interaction and connection makes all the difference in how a person will act or behave. And you, of all people, should know that as a lawyer, it’s our responsibility to find that out for ourselves. It’s why we have to have such personal relationships with our clients.”
“But I’m not your client, Rey, I’m your superior,” Ben said slowly. His voice dropped to an almost threatening level as he leaned both elbows on the counter across from her, making them finally at eye level. She stared defiantly back, refusing to be scared off. 
“Except that you’re also supposed to be my partner,” Rey said, tilting her head and giving him a sickly sweet smile, “Partners don’t have anything to hide and don’t go behind each other’s backs. They put the client first and they get what they want by working together.” 
Ben squinted at her reproachfully, and took another sip of his wine that he still refused to politely offer to his guest. 
“What are you suggesting?” 
“Total honestly. At least, while I’m here, you can ask me anything you want and I promise to answer it with the truth. But you have to do the same with me. It eliminates any reason to doubt each other or to think that one of us is working against the other. We’ll both get what we need to know, and we don’t have to go snooping around each other’s personal items to get there. It’s a win-win situation, and this way we save the most time and energy so we can get to working on the real case as soon as possible.”
Rey watched Ben listen to her, and she could tell that there were many points where he wanted to argue, but she must have kept his interest long enough, because he let her finish.  
“And how will I know you’re telling me the actual truth?” Ben questioned, standing up to his full height and looking down on her once again. 
“Because I’m a terrible liar, and you’ll see right through me if I do.” Rey shrugged her shoulders and looked away, trying to sell the ‘innocent’ look as best as she could. She really was telling the truth though, she may be as sneaky and stealthy as a Black Cat, but she wasn’t as clever as one. 
“How can you be bad at lying if you want to be a lawyer?” Ben scoffed with a smirk. 
“Because I win my cases by being right.” 
It was Rey’s turn to lean in and she looked up at Ben through her long, dark lashes. He wanted to speak, to make some retort about how ridiculously childish her and her ideals sounded, but something about those intensely dark eyes made him want to play along. He couldn't explain it, but she intrigued him. He had to give her that. 
“Fine, I’ll play your little game,” Ben said, and Rey let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding on to, “Except, if I’m going to do something so asinine, we’re going to need to make it a little more enjoyable.” 
By the glint in his eye, Rey was hesitant to let anything be on his terms, but she knew that if her plan was to work, she’d have to keep playing into his arrogance a little. It wasn’t very hard seeing as he had a lot of it. 
“How do you suppose we do that?” Rey asked. 
“Alcohol,” Ben said simply. He turned his back to Rey and bent to retrieve another bottle from the cabinet. 
“Too bad I’m not a big wine fan,” Rey muttered, mostly to herself, but Ben must have heard because he swung back around and placed the bottle rather loudly on the counter. 
“Oh, it’s not wine,” he chuckled, “this is a particular brand of bourbon that happens to be my favorite. Care to join me for a drink?” 
Rey could hear the sarcasm in his voice, and the joke of the situation wasn’t lost on her seeing as she was already in his home and already agreeing to have the drink. She simply widened her eyes, took a deep breath, and shrugged an ‘okay’ with the shake of her head. Ben nodded once and grabbed more glasses from the kitchen. When he came back he directed them towards the living area taking a seat on the longer of the two couches. Rey sat across from him on the very edge of a large arm chair, ready to bounce up and make a break for it if she had to. 
Ben, on the other hand, leaned back comfortably. One of his impossibly long legs reached over the other, his calf resting on the opposite knee. Even sitting down, he couldn’t hide his body's sheer length. Rey noticed the bottle and glasses on the table between them and took his lounging as an indicator that she was supposed to pour the drinks. 
She fought the urge to roll her eyes. She wasn’t his maid and he was perfectly capable of getting his own, but she did as she was expected anyway. Let him think she was just another woman willing to do his bidding. Any and all “sucking up” she could fake in this moment would give her the upper hand. 
“So, what are the ‘rules’ to this game, exactly?” Ben asked, as she passed him a glass with one shot full of the slight smokey smelling liquid. He took it, his hands wrapping around hers for an instant, and Rey felt a weird spark of energy pass between them. She recoiled, but not before seeing him tense up. 
The moment was over in an instant and Ben acted like nothing had happened. He looked to the glass now in his hands and swirled the liquid, waiting for her to respond to his earlier question.
“Okay, it’s a simple drinking game mechanic, really,” Rey said, pouring herself the exact same amount, “you ask me a question, and I have to answer. If you think I’m lying, you can challenge it. If I am, I have to drink.”
“Ah, so you do lie.”
“I said if I lie, then I drink. If you’re wrong about the challenge, then you have to take the shot.” 
Ben shifted in his seat and squinted at her again in the way she was beginning to recognize as trying to figure her out. She found herself loving the idea that he didn’t know as much about her as he thought, and her chest puffed out in pride. Ben huffed a short laugh and leaned further back. 
“Well then, one for good measure?” He lifted his glass.
“And for poor judgement?” Rey teased, a smile on her own lips despite herself. 
“Exactly,” Ben said, tilting his drink slightly towards her, “cheers.”
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