#i was the only black kid until 5th grade

[gallusrostromegalus]

Hello! I read TPOFATGIF for the first time this week after binge reading your lore posts, and I have a lore question. I get that the home of the main case is a Japan/America amalgamation similar to that of Big Hero 6, but is there any lore reason as to why its like that? Were Japan and America separate places in this world and then fused later or has it always been like this?

I wrote them in a place that is both Japan and California at the same time because of the Animaniacs.

For some additional context, for me, my first exposure to Yugioh was the infamous 4Kids Dub on Kids!WB whch was... weird, to say the least.

YuGiOh was one of the first anime-anime they showed on that network, after Pokemon, and the first cartoon series I recall that had a specific airdate order- everything before then had been episodic in the sense that it didn't really matter what order the season's episodes were shown in- it didn't matter who Batman fought last week, this week he was on another case. Pokemon did reference previous episodes, but was so full of random filler and side-adventures that it didn't really matter when WB showed the first season out of order. One staruday Ash just had a Charmander now and we just rolled with that.

But Yugioh started off with "Previously On Yugioh" flashbacks that really only made sense if you'd seen the previous episode, and as calvinball as the games were, they did have like. A Turn Order that you had to follow consistently, and it was the first time my 5th-grade self had ever seen a show with a sesonal plot and I was BUCKWILD about it.

At the same time, this was still a very Transitional period for KidsWB, going from a lot of cartoons that were produced in-house to a lot of cartoons produced in independent studios or in Japan. One of the most famous In-House cartoons, that was still (barely) running in 2000 when YGO hit, was the cartoon that built the KidsWB Brand: Animaniacs. The Animaniacs, for those of you that were only born this millenium, were a trio of... creatures. The Warner Brothers, Yakko Warner and Wakko Warner, and their sister, Dot who would escape from the water tower where they were lcked up last week, to cause mayhem and make remarkably sharp and adult satirical jokes about current events, until they were caught and locked back up until next week. It was directed by steven speilberg and it was fucking wild.

But a peculiar precept of the Animaniacs universe was that they explicitly, in the canon of their show, lived in the water tower on the Real Life Warner Movie Studios Lot, in Real Life Burbank, CA. The backgrounds were frequently traced photographs of the IRL Studio and surrounding hollywood landmarks. In addition to the show, the Studio also made "Bumps" or micro-episdodes that were like, 30 seconds long, for when the commericals didn't quite fill out the whole half hour. In those, the Animaniacs made jokes like they were actors employed by the studio, playing the role of the Animaniacs, and would complain about the on-site parking or the latest contracts, a meta-joke that goes clean back to the Looney Tunes in the 1950's and probably farther. Bugs and Daffy were there too, threatening to go on strike, but the Animaniacs combined that meta joke with their canon of living on-site to like. Complain about traffic on specific roads in Brubank.

...and then when KidsWB started accepting cartoons from other studios, they KEPT doing those Meta Bumps. Batman and Daffy comisserated about the difficultly of keeping thier black suits black over a cup of coffee. Omi of Xaolin Showdown and Riccochet of Lucha Libre compared the relative amount of workman's comp they were owed for thier stunts behind one of the sets. When Yugioh joined the network, it's characters were also added to the bumps.

One particular bump stood out to me, and unfortunately I haven't ever found a recording of it, but characters were complaining about commute times to work. The Animaniacs kicked off with not understanding how everyone was late to shooting, Come on guys, we're PROFESSIONALS. Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures told them off- they lived on site, he had to commute all the way from San Francisco's Chinatown! That's nothing, groans Batman, Do you have any idea how much he spends in Batfuel for the Batjet commuting in from Gotham. Chinatown? laughs Omi, try commuting from actual China! Yugi walks in and asks what's going on, and someone asks him how long it takes him to get to work.

"Oh, I just walk over after school." Yugi says, and there is a cut to the expanded scenery with Warner Brothers Studio on one side of the street, and Domino High School on the other side of the street. "It's a good thing school is so close." he adds. "I have to spend like four hours in special FX and makeup to get my hair to do this! If I had to commute, we'd never have time to shoot!"

... And that joke-within-a-joke Micro-universe, that takes place in twelve different cartoon shows and IRL Burbank California, just an hour south of where my grandparents lived, that peculiar metaverse where my childhood nostalgia lives, is the universe where TPOFATGIF takes place. It's in IRL late 90's/early 00's California, because I lived in California in the late 90's and early 00's and that's the context I first experienced YGO in. It's in the IRL parts of Tokyo that Takahashi-sensei put into his Magnum opus. It's in a universe that contain's both Gotham City and Uncle's Antiques. It's Big Hero Six's San Fransokyo, and Ace Attorney's Japanifornia.

But that wasn't actually the question you asked.

Please consider: Tea and Bakura were both born on "Leap Days"- days when the calendar can't be reliably measured, where day repeat or blend together. Mako's dad is lost in the South Pacific Triange, a mysterious place where you can sail east all day and end up west of where you started. Tristan's dad has a job that is basically being a supplier to D&D Adventuerers.

But as far as everyone knows, it's always been like this. Sometimes there are extra days, or wormholes, or monsters. Reality is just like that, as far as anyone can remember.

But.

Not everyone remembers, do they? Mahad knows his king by his face but not how he came to be the Dark Magician, just that he is. Neither Shadi knew where the Millenium Puzzle was until very recently, which seems a odd for the Guardian(s) of the Millenium items. The Spirit of the Ring has memories upon memories upon memories, but neither he nor Yami can even remember their names. in fact, nobody theoretically old enough to remember what happened 5,000 years ago actually remembers.

I wonder what that's all about? :)

#TPOFTGIF #The Power Of Friendship (And This Gun I Found!) #Yugioh #Yugioh fanfic

[paperboy-pb]

"A Very Special Day" [Life Story]

[TW for: ableism against kids, internalized ableism, and mentions of suicidal ideation.]

9 years ago today, in the state of New York on September 5th, was my second day of 6th grade. Being a Special Ed kid, I was upset; my school, a K-8 that I had been with since the start and stayed with until the end, had always treated us so differently. And the world around me had promised that things would change once middle school began. But they hadn't. In fact, barely anything was new at all.

Same old baby talk from adults who saw me every day, but willfully ignored how big I had grown.

Same old bullying from my peers, disabled children who spent their days as pots calling kettles black, because no one had any intentions of teaching us better.

Same Adapted Phys Ed, getting ready to interrupt my morning reading every Monday, Wednesday, Friday; even though they'd promised to let me play in Gym with the rest of my class years ago by now.

Same old kids from the neighborhood filling up the rest of my grade, coming in smiling and laughing and oh so free in their new groups of 30. 30-something of them. 12 of us.

They'd even gotten some new kids from the K-5s around town. All of which seemed really nice. Man. Lucky them. Meanwhile, everything was so same-y that I'd considered running away from the school bus when it pulled up.

September 5th, 2014. Still kinda hot in Brooklyn. Sunny out there.

The day had gone bad. My classmates were talking FNAF, and being mean about things I don't remember. They flicked food at me during lunch while I tried to read and mind my own business. We weren't allowed to change seats, even though the rest of our grade got that privilege. It was supposed to be for all of us middle schoolers, but when I'd asked the day before, our lunch aide had no idea what I was on about. She suddenly insisted it was never a thing! While the rest of our grade was splitting into cliques behind her back, paying us no mind, knowing they'd somehow earned it and we didn't.

10-year-old me couldn't wait to go home.

By the end of the day, I was drained like no other. Head down on the desk and all. I was thinking, 2:20-something. Just a few more minutes.

God, why are things like this? Is it gonna get better later this year? I hope so, it's only the second day. Maybe it just starts bad!

Man, I miss summer already. I wish I spent today home all day eating onion ring chips again and playing Animal Crossi--

"Alright guys, listen up!" Said Mrs. Z, who would pretty much be our only teacher this year. (Meanwhile, everyone else got to have different people for different subjects.)

I don't remember her exact words. But she held up a white booklet with a bunch of kids holding hands and awkwardly smiling at us from the mostly-white cover. She said something about it being very important. And she ended her little stanza with, and I quote, "DON'T read these, alright? It's for your parents."

I think that one line changed the trajectory of my life.

As our para handed them out, my bookworm ass couldn't help but furrow my little brows. I'd had teachers assume certain books were "too hard" for me when they weren't, and get upset at me whenever I summarized the plot of them correctly. I'd had teachers tell me not to read other books during class, which was fair enough, I guess. But a teacher telling me not to read something at ALL?

Now THAT'S a new one...

It felt plasticy, not like paper. It's a packet, not a book. Six kids in a row, but none look like me, as usual. The cover said, "Family Guide To Special Education Services for School-Age Children. A Shared Path to Success." ...I don't think a title should be that long. Why not parentheses that end bit?

After that, we were dismissed. Me & some peers headed into the hallway down to the first floor to wait for our bus, and we chatted about it a little bit?

One was like, "Is this a report card or something?"

Another was like, "I guess?"

The first boy skimmed it, though, and saw nothing about him. Which eased his nerves.

A third asked me what I thought it was since I was the only kid who'd hit a Z-reading level. They figured I could make sense of it. And my first thought was boring adult stuff, or some sort of... after-school? Program? Thing? But I didn't really answer. I was too preoccupied with what Mrs. Z said.

What kind of teacher tells me not to read something? Give it to my parents is one thing, but specifically, "don't" read this? Dude! What doesn't she want me to see?

Everyone else had tossed the damn thing into their bookbags and zipped 'em up by now. We headed downstairs, and I couldn't help but notice that our 6th grade class was on the third floor; with a lot of grades 2-4 around us.

Meanwhile, the rest of the big middle school classes came down from higher up. It turns out that they all had their classes high up on the top floor. A bunch of bright minds floated down from above like they were that summer's fireflies, and we were the tips of night grass. Or maybe even worms, burrowing into the dirt and calling it a day.

...

By the time the bus was moving, I still had the packet in my hands. I was wondering why they all got to be up there and we didn't. We lived pretty close to Coney Island, after all: it must be cool seeing the parachute jump from the hallway window on your way down every day.

I barely had time to stuff the packet in my hands once we pulled up to my apartment.

If you've ever wondered what Kid Jonah was like, imagine some sort of hybrid between a miserable little nerd & the most optimistic goody-goody you've ever met. Like, yeah, I'd been in a few fights by this point, broken some rules behind their backs, but I was also... 10. And known for being "THE good kid" in front of teachers. I didn't like to defy them, you know? Even if they did always make me feel weird, or on-edge, or like I was a part of something bad.

So when I made a beeline for my room, I was like, Oh my God, I'm actually gonna do this...? And I didn't tell my parents a thing. I've kept the packet all this time and they STILL haven't read it!

But I did. I think I hesitated, but I remember opening it on my bed.

"Welcome.

Dear families, we've come a long way since our special education reform initiative, A Shared Path to Success, was launched citywide in 2012... we've also been changing hearts and minds as our core belief- that special education is a service, and not a place- has taken hold in our schools...

Section 1... Children learn at different speeds and in different ways. Some children have physical and/or intellectual disabili..."

WHAT?!

...

It was a really dense packet for a kid. Long, boring, seemed endless. But I understood the words. Especially that D one. And at the time, 10-year-old me knew it was a bad one.

I'd crossed the point of no return by then. I kept reading. And I didn't dare skip a word. "Intervention," "Special," "Disability," "Meeting," "Evaluation," "Eligibility," "IEP,"-- Hey, I know that word! IEPs are the dense things stapled to my report cards!

I remember the anger flaring in my heart, out my nose, widening my eyes once I got to the Eligibility bit. I thought, and I quote, "THEY THINK WE'RE DISABLED?!" I don't think words can articulate how insulted little 10-year-old me was!

...I don't think I can articulate how sad that is now, either. How do you instill such heavy ableism into a little boy like that? How do you live with yourself?

But I couldn't throw the book at the wall or take one of my mom's lighters to it like I initially wanted. Because I realized pretty quickly... Oh my God. This is it. These are THE ANSWERS! THIS IS WHY IT'S ALL HAPPENING!

I couldn't believe my eyes as I took it all in. The 13 disabilities that landed me and my friends in this mess, some of which matched up with certain kids I knew right away. But what really caught my attention were the services. Terms that I KNEW about. Things I engaged with. Things I... hated.

"Occupational Therapy." That nice older lady who takes me out of class every few days so I can play memory games, or play with this hand-gripper, or yank pegs outta this bright green putty.

"Paraprofessional Services"; those weird second-teachers that annoy us and only us, but never anyone else in the other classes. They're so stuck-up sometimes! And they never really seem to know how to leave us alone. Especially certain kids.

The stories I could tell about them all now... good fucking lord.

Physical Therapy; That's the one where the lady is always making me feel bad about things and do sit-ups or run drills in the hallway and stairwell... and do embarrassing stretches like people aren't walking by.

And she got upset with me because I brought a lunchbox every day for years; she told me, "You'll never be a big kid if you keep bringing food from home, Jonah!"

And I told her, "But my mom doesn't even make the sandwiches anymore! I make them for myself!"

And she was like, "But still!"

She also measures her footstep, saying it was a foot of distance. Like, 12 inches. But nuh-uh, it was never a foot! Her sneakers aren't that big. Rulers are longer. Why didn't she just get a measuring tape? What's this lady's problem?

The one that sunk my heart, though, was Adapted Phys Ed. The packet said it was "A specially designed program of developmental activities, games, sports, and rhythms suited to the interests, capabilities, and limitations of individual children who may now safely or successfully participate in the activities of a regular physical education program."

And I thought: ...That's the watered-down gym class I do three times a week.

The one where we do "challenges" like stepping into each hole of an agility ladder mat and doing a squat before moving to the next.

The one where we never play sports like everybody else gets to do.

The one that makes the gym teacher sit me out on the bleachers by myself, and watch literally everybody else I know have fun. And when I ask why, nobody tells me anything.

The one where I ask how I can improve in order to go play with everybody else, but nobody tells me anything.

The one where Mrs. D keeps promising me that I'll get to play with the rest of my class soon... but it never comes true.

This is why everybody acts so weird around us.

This is why we can't even talk to the rest of our grade.

This is why nothing ever changes...!

It all made sense. 10-year-old me couldn't feel the floor or the bed anymore. The back of my mind buzzed like shaken soda, fizzling against the back of my skull. I didn't cry. I didn't have tears. But I did sink down, down into the depths of I-don't-even-know-where.

I went time-traveling back to May of last school year, where a Special Ed kid the grade above me was saying to his classmate, "We're all just the kids nobody wants." But I didn't have context. Was this the context? He sounded like he was about to cry.

I went back to 4th grade when I headed into the bathroom and saw two kids from my grade walk by with papers promoting the talent show to everybody. I saw the text written on them clear as day! And I got excited; Our school's having a talent show? COOL! We must be getting those later today, too!

The papers never came.

I went back to 3rd grade, where paras would hover over our class during lunch, but nobody else's. They always stood tall above and between us, like they were a scarecrow keeping the birds of our grade away.

And there was so much. More. Than that.

...

I still wonder why Z didn't want me seeing that. Maybe she knew I would spiral or label myself. But at the same time... that's a learned behavior. Ableism is a hatred, and hatred is learned. From ADULTS. One that she and the rest of the school could at least try to curb if she noticed.

Z wasn't a bad lady. I think she was trying to protect me? But... we already knew we were being treated unfairly. Why would keeping this secret protect me?

The anger only lasted a little while. Because something else dawned on me.

I can't stay here.

This place had been upsetting me for YEARS. And now I knew that it was happening for a reason. A shitty one, but still... a reason. It's not just bad luck. And that it wasn't going to change unless I removed that reason from their minds.

I had to leave. Sound familiar?

The next day we had school? I was completely shaken up. Kinda surprised no one noticed. I was finally seeing just how deep this all went. The teachers smiling in my face, baby-talking, getting reallll close while having this sense of disgust in their eyes.

The staggering difference in numbers between "normal" classes and ours.

Our class locations.

I even found this board on the first floor that had a picture of every teacher and what they taught. Sure enough, "Special Education" was specified in the label for every teacher I'd ever had. I was even able to find the next teachers I'd have for Grades 7 & 8. And my blood went cold because I knew those two particular ladies were pretty mean.

My school was DEFINITELY failing that, "Special Ed is a service, not a place!" shit the state allegedly wanted to accomplish. It was a place. And I... was trapped.

And I couldn't stay trapped. Because as far as I knew, education was everything. I was a very academic little boy back then. And I didn't know what staying in a place like this could mean for my education later down the line.

I didn't want to find out.

I also didn't want my social life restricted like this. Especially since there weren't many kids who treated me well. I wanted freedom. I wanted independence. I wanted a chance to actually find real friends!

And this is sad, but... I was already very depressed by that age. Due to the nature of Special Ed at school. Had been since 8. And so... I made a plan in my bedroom the same night I found the packet:

I can't carry this environment with me into high school. I have to do anything-- EVERYTHING I can to get outta here by the time 8th grade starts! And if I fail... I can't finish 8th grade like that.

The Verrazzano Bridge and the walkway by the water, the one with the short fence that I can get right over, are only a fifteen minute walk from home. If I don't get out of Special Ed by 8th grade, then... I have to go out there and throw myself off. I have to kill myself. I have to...! Because I know for a fact I just can't. Stay. Here.

And I was serious. Dead-serious. Because I thought about it every day for the next 2 years straight.

...

That packet started it all for PB. And as sad as it is that I technically had to go behind adults' backs just to learn something about myself and where I was, I'm extremely glad it happened. Because it's also what kickstarted my interest in disability topics. My journey in learning who we were, what we were, and what we do & don't deserve.

It led to the first drafts of PB just under a year later, which set my life on a completely new path. Paperboy would not EXIST if it weren't for that day. Hell; I don't even know if my OTHER projects (like Weirder Than Usual) would, either!

That wasn't right. None of that was right. But it did give me a story to tell. One that you guys are finally starting to see!

And one that I'm very, very proud of.

Disability conversations are extremely important to me now. I don't think I'm the beacon of anti-ableism or anything like that. I know I've fucked up as I grew up, especially in my younger years. But this entire situation showed me how hush-hush the world likes to be about it. And while it's better now than it was in 2014, it ain't great yet.

And I think I owe it to 10-year-old Jonah to change that shit. Because when he googled "Special Ed makes me feel bad," he barely found anything.

It was definitely an experience I will never forget. And as you saw above, I still keep that packet with me to this day, and I always will, because of just how heavily it changed my life.

I have no idea where or who I'd be if it wasn't for that.

Happy 9th birthday, SpEd packet. Can't wait for the 10th!

#paperboy pb #disability #disabilities #disabled kid #disabled kids #special education #special ed #disabled writer #disabled artist #actually autistic #autistic #autism #asthma #life story #thoughts #memoir #memories #childhood #childhood trauma #childhood nostalgia #anti ableism #ableism exists #ableism tw #internalized ableism #ableism #ableist teachers #ableist language cw

[uncommondumdum]

Reposting the Kai lore here just cause I can,, quick info/ other stuffs I forgot to add:

Kai is basically a Coyote fanboy oc that I made back in I think… August??

Yea.

Kai’s name was thought of from the way Coyote’s name was pronounced. The two sound very similar.

His full name is Kai Odie.

Kai was born on the 15th of the 5th. Idk what year tho.

Also some of my ocs timeline and Kai’s timeline aren’t the same,, there’s other timelines out there but they all still have zombies in them.

The timeline takes place before it died took place around the 1990s-2011.

Kai has also somewhat improved as a person,, he’s pretty chill nowadays…I guess. I mean,, less mean that’s for sure.

He beefs with ppl/things a lot tho,, it’s literally ez to get Kai to hate u,, u could be a Taylor Swift fan and he’d hate u for that. 😭

Kai is basically pretty friendly tho,, sure. He murdered a bunch of zombies and possibly people but that was out of self defence. He wouldn’t murder anyone on purpose, unless it’s Midnight Shadow or it’s someone that wants to harm him.

Kai wore glasses when he was a kid due to poor eye sight (not being able to see from distances) until he was a teen,, which he just started wearing contacts (even tho it’s semi dangerous to wear those) …this did somewhat give him the reputation of him being the “smart nerdy” guy but he later proved them wrong.

Kai’s also deaf as well,, he wears a hearing aid although it’s unnoticeable. He got this from putting his headphones on max volume and plus other people playing loud audio/screaming into his ear when he was a kid. O and he knows how to read lips as well and he knows sign language. (He didnt get the hearing aid until he was 17,, his parents thought he was deaf because of the fact he had a hard time hearing them directly unless they yelled sooo yea) Kai also just turned off his hearing aid whenever he didn’t want to hear sum however with the zombie apocalypse he kept that on 24/7 cause he didn’t want to risk not hearing sum and dying from it.

Kai also wears earrings, he used to wear black earrings but now he wears cherry earrings, the only reason why he’s wearing cherry earrings of all things is because of Coyote.

Kai actually also has a tattoo on his back where it’s just Coyote’s name in a rlly rlly fancy goth font. Forgot the name but yea. No one knows about it except for Coyote. They actually got the tattoo together and have matching tattoos.

Kai has average strength, sometimes it works out in his favour, sometimes it does not. Mainly depends on who he’s fighting though.

when Kais Mom first saw that Kai dyed his hair gave himself whatever that pink and blue thingy is called that covers his other eye she tried cutting it off however Kai just kept on refusing to do so, which ended up with him getting grounded and Kai’s Mom kept on trying to convince him to get rid of but no matter what she said he just kept it. Which,, made her rlly mad and her hatred for Kai only grew more and more the more she looked at him. Kai’s Dad however just didn’t care and eventually convinced Kai’s Mom to just let him do whatever he wants since he thought that if he was happy then he’d get better grades (very weird logic god damn) and so she did. But she still secretly hated him. (Kai’s Dad was also old and just simply did not give a fuck about what happened anymore. The Mom was also old but she had more care then the dad did.)

But however there was a deal,, Kai can keep the eye cover thingy if he only put it in a feminine ponytail or pigtail/kept the hair rlly long and he agreed. This deal was made by Kai’s Mom and she did it behind the Dads back.

O yea speaking of that,, during the apocalypse in his timeline, while he was asleep he was attacked by a zombie and he got half of his face infected. He was able to cure it tho. Gud thing it was where the eye cover thingy was so it’s ez to hide.

Anyways spoiler for night 3 under here

ok so the only thing that’s different here is that instead of Coyote being the traitor it’s Kai.

The deal in question (and betrayal) basically went like this:

Shadow:

“I’ll get u out of here if u help me make deep night strong and stuff.”

Kai:

“ok 👍”

(Literally after he meets Coyote and the others and night 3)

Kai:

“I change my mind I hate u I hope u die.”

[EXPLODES THE ENTIRE PLACE]

Now,, Kai didn’t intend or plan to explode the place on purpose. He wanted to keep the cabin in shape however with the way Midnight Shadow planned it all out he had no choice, he had to explode the place with what he had on him to try to kill Midnight Shadow.

When Murch found out that Kai betrayed him he basically just started hating on Kai and being a big meanie to him and Coyote had to go and defend him every time but that only just made Murch hate the both of them. Except,, not only is it hatred from the betrayal. It’s jealousy.

He secretly wants Coyote, but with Kai being there for Coyote more then he himself is. He grew jealous of him.

So yea.

#majority of this is copy pasted from Twitter #this is basically where I’m goin to be puttin all mentions of Kai lore and stuff

[siempre-bucky]

DUDE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH AND I ACTUALLY MADE IT IN TIME FOR A BLURB NIGHT?!?!?! OMG

Could I PLEASE request the prompt 22.Making margaritas with Robin Buckely, maybe Platonic or like friends to lovers type beat yk

PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME WITH THIS!!!

Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader

Summary: It's all fun and games with your best friend until the blender coats you in strawberry margarita mix.

wc: 758

a/n: I went the best friends to lovers route! I hope you like it! It's a little suggestive but still cute!

“Eddie, Dustin no diving!” you shouted from the patio door, holding the empty ice chest on your hip. “Jesus,” you murmured to yourself. The gang had roped you into their pool party, praising you that you had the best pool out of all of them. Which was true, so now you had a group of teenagers wreaking havoc in your backyard. 

You hummed along to the Go-Go’s while you sat the chest on the island and walked to the refrigerator to restock the sodas and the juice boxes Lucas and Will begged you to get. “The party’s here!” Steve shouted as he opened the front door, the rest of the group in tow behind him. 

“You mean the hair is here, Dingus,” Robin mocked as she pushed ahead. 

A chill went through you as you heard her speak. You’d had a crush on Robin since at least 5th grade, she was perfection with a motor mouth. “Hey,” you greeted with a nervous smile. It took everything you had not to stare at her too long. “The kids were threatening to throw Steve in the pool, you might wanna stop that plan.” 

Nancy giggled and shoved Steve and Johnathan out the back door, sending a knowing wink your way. She was the only one that knew your deepest secret and she was also the only one that knew Robin’s. 

“You’ll never believe what I pulled out of my parent's supply. Now I know that I shouldn't have picked the liquor cabinet lock but it’s not like they’re gonna know or anything,” the short-haired girl rambled as she took off her t-shirt and placed it on the counter behind her. You gulped at the sight of her black bikini top, your heart beginning to pick up the pace. 

“What did you get?” you asked, trying to get her to hurry along her story. 

She opened the plastic bag and pulled out a bag of margarita mix. She gasped dramatically and smiled brightly, “Let’s make ‘em!” she cheered. 

“We’re babysitting, by water… we shouldn’t be drinking,” you giggle at her excitement. Robin shooed you with her hand and hurried around the kitchen. She grabbed the blender and ice from the freezer and looked at you with a glimmer of hope in her eye. 

“Y/N,” she whined, leaning on the counter, “please, please, please! You know you hate it when I beg—please.” 

The worst part was that you couldn’t say no to her. “Fine,” you sighed and moved over to stand beside her, the scent of the strawberry mixture and her sunscreen made your nose scrunch. You still managed to smile fondly as she read the package. 

Her tongue stuck out in concentration as you loaded the blender with ice and she filled it with the mix.  “Lid please,” she told you, holding out her hand. You blindly handed her the lid, trying not to look at her. 

It was supposed to be an innocent schoolgirl crush and you shouldn’t be feeling hot and bothered for your best friend. Of course, that’s what you tried to tell yourself every night before your hand under the waistband of your shorts. “Y/N?” she asked, nudging your arm. 

You looked up and made direct eye contact, “Yeah?” Robin didn’t move, her eyes were pinned to yours. She dragged her front teeth along her lower lip and let her eyes wander to your lips. 

“I-uh, I forgot? I think…” she trailed off with a tremor in her voice. She gulped and leaned in a little closer and you did the same. The air was becoming thin, you were taking shallow breaths as her lips got closer. Right before you could feel her chapstick-covered lips, her finger slipped and the loud blender slung red margarita all over the two of you. 

You gasped and pried her hand off, the blender slowly coming to a stop. You looked at each other in shock before busting out into a fit of loud cackles. “Your face!” She cried, pointing at the red streak across your nose. 

“Mine? You should see yours! You look like you got attacked,” you howled, doubling over with giggles escaping your lips.  

“Will you kiss it off?” she asked shyly, ducking her head. 

Your laughter stopped, your chin snapping up to meet her. “Y-yes! I would love that, yes,” you rambled before pressing your hands to her sticky cheeks and crashing your lips to hers. 

After pulling away she giggled again, “Tastes good.” 

“You do too,” you hummed before kissing her again.

☀️join siempre-bucky's summer blurb night☀️

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x fem!reader #robin buckley blurb #robin buckley imagine #stranger things

[acapellasampler]

How would your personal version of the goths be?

Honestly before I met Digi and we started threading together building Jade's friendship with his goths I didn't really have my own take I just saw them as a little found family but I'll do my best to add to that based off my brain (i know that may not make sense)

I feel like the entire found family would've started from Michael and Henrietta befriending each other in kindergarten after Michel's family moved to town and she was no longer the only (out) goth kid in town.

Due to being a year younger than them Pete was only in preschool and didn't really know what goth was until he stumbled across the other two one day when he skipped naptime (what a rebel am I right?) And found them smoking cigarettes Michael swiped from his dad.

Noticing a clueless baby bat without a flock the two took him under their wings, normally after school they hung out at Henrietta's so Michael eventually started bringing Pete along under the guise of babysitting him (like Hell Pete's parents would let their 6 year old just wander the town) and over time the trios friendship would start to be more like brothers and their sister.

Henrietta eventually dyes her blonde hair black in 4th grade and chops it in 5th grade when some bullies stick gum in it.

Pete would go on to start dying his hair in 4th grade and well Michael's hair is naturally black lmao he's fine.

A new goth kid shows up at school one day after a new family moves into the trailer park that Pete lives in, he's only in preschool pushing kindergarten but he's decked out in all black but most of the time his makeup is smudged most likely from him doing it on the bus. Pete is the one to meet the boy and bring him to the group, his name’s Virgil but due to him being scarily good at picking pockets they nickname him Firkle.

Pete takes over handling Firkle's makeup in the mornings until the kindergoth can do it without much help, he's closest to Firkle due to them both living in the trailer park like a trailer or 2 apart.

Stan wasn't a goth long enough to form anything other than a friendship where the 5 occasionally text and talk.

_________

I know he's not a canon character but I have to involve Elias for my sake

As the “main” stick of truth, new kid Elias was sent to recruit them to help retrieve the stick; he does so and takes them to the elves. He finds that he enjoys the soft goth genre and decides to actually be goth, he stays in contact with the 4 after the game even going as far as to eventually start watching Firkle for the boys parents (not really knowing he would normally just hang with the others) and the two would form a pseudo brotherly bond.

After Bradley left for his home planet Henrietta actually starts to see Elias as a little brother (he's a year younger than her) even allowing him to give her a nickname only he could use (he calls her Henni) and she's the only goth that calls him Eli

Between tsot and tfbw the 4 would learn about him being a hybrid, he'd essentially become the group emotional support dog (mainly Firkle's snuggle toy and an actual emotional comfort for Michael)

_________

Now just plain info cause why not

Henrietta is def a natural blonde

Pete I'm torn between redhead and brunette

Michael's hair is naturally black

Firkle is absolutely a daywalker and hides his freckles with concealer

Due to being great at pickpocketing Firkle is the one that gets their cigarettes

Firkle secretly loves stuffed animals and can't sleep without a particular teddy bear that Elias got him as a joke (a simple little purple teddy bear)

Michael slips into his mother's native tongue when he's pissed

The way Pete meets Jade is always the same

Pete and Firkle get clingy when they're tired or depressed there's a universal goth code of “shut the fuck up and cuddle them but tell no-one”

Michael doesn't care much for touch but will let the other 4 lean against him or will initiate touch with them

If someone sits lower than her Henrietta reflexively plays with their hair

Pete's ambidextrous but favors his left hand

Firkle has been carried by just about everyone due to being the second shortest goth

Pete's dating Mike Makowski

Firkle is in a poly with Ike, Karen, and Tricia

#my headcanons #sp goth kids #henrietta biggle #pete thelman #south park Michael #firkle smith #new kiddos #<- because I involved Elias

[blazehedgehog]

Sir BlazeHedgehog, where is your nickname from?

Oh wow, somebody actually asked for once instead of me having to volunteer it.

This is probably at least the third time I've said this just on this blog alone, but since tumblr search is worthless, we'll take it from the top one more time, but I'll hide it behind a "read more" tag for those who would rather skip it.

And because I'm going to be hiding it behind a tag, I'm going to go all in and tell a story.

The short answer is I made it up.

I am from a time before the internet was everywhere, on everything. In the 5th or 6th grade, our computer lab teacher introduced us to the world wide web using the suite of Apple Macintoshes they had available.

And when I say "Macintosh" I mean the original. Black and white screens, Hypercard, the whole deal from 1984. Keeping in mind it was currently 1995.

About 25-30 of these little guys split in to two rows. In the middle of the classroom sat a lone Macintosh Performa. Good kids got to use the Performa.

The Performa was the only computer that was capable to render what we would begin to know as the modern internet. It had Netscape Navigator installed, which supported the somewhat-new technology of webpages with embedded images.

For the rest of us, we were introduced to the text-based internet. You would bring up a terminal application and have to type out commands to interface with the school's webserver in order to check things like email (using PINE). You browsed the internet using Lynx. There was no mouse, no clicking. You scrolled using the arrow keys and could highlight links with tab.

They taught us other terminal commands, like how to open a direct text chat with another student in the lab, some basic formatting and typing stuff, etc. It was slow, difficult to use, and the internet was a lot smaller back then. We had somewhat strict rules on what we could and could not do on these machines, but since they couldn't do much, it wasn't hard to enforce.

In high school, half of the lab was a mixture of older 5200 Performas and newer 6600 "Pizza Box" Performas, with the other half being more left over monochrome Macintoshes. They also had "the one really nice computer" but this one was a modern (by 1997 standards) Power Mac G3. New tech came newer rules: no installing games, no adult content (even soft stuff, like girls in bikinis), and no chat rooms.

We were teenagers, though. You tell us not to do something, and that immediately makes you want to do it. I remember catching some of the particularly geeky among us logging in and playing online MUDs (the precursor to MMOs), and others trying to get around the Foolproof Software locks to install games or look at porn.

(This is a newer photo of that same computer lab, and I'm unsurprised that, outside of kids being on more modern hardware, absolutely nothing about the setup of that room has changed.)

I wasn't really in my spiral of depression yet, so I used the computers like a good little boy and followed the rules.

Until the last few days of the semester before summer break. That's when everybody -- students, teachers -- collectively stop caring about keeping up proper appearances. I remember having big free periods and spending time in the computer lab. I was usually the only one in there. So, immediately, I began looking up chat rooms.

A few friends and I had gotten into deep trouble a few months earlier, because one wild night during a sleepover we called into a "party line", which was a service where you were hooked into what is now known as a "discord group chat." Except you didn't know who you were getting connected with. They were total strangers. That was part of the thrill. It was new and exciting. We happened to be lucky enough to get a group of girls who were near enough to our age (maybe a little older), and we spent hours talking with them via speakerphone.

The thing was, there was a precedent that doing that cost money. You were calling a 1-800 number, and there were service fees associated with that. Per-minute. So we racked up a bill of something like $70-$100+ that night. That was a big problem.

But internet chat was free. The allure was impossible to ignore. And with it being the last few days of school, who could stop me? At worst I'd be kicked out of the computer lab, but they weren't going to, like, expel me. Being in trouble was a fake idea.

I forget where I ended up the first day, it was some kind of general Yahoo chat or something, but I remember I was too shy to be myself. Being 13 or 14 at the time, I decided to roleplay as Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. One of the only times I ever did anything like that. I was full-on "I send a rose to all the ladies @}---;----" and everything, it was awful.

On the final day, I started looking up Sonic fansites and ended up somewhere called "Ruby's Sonic Page." This was the homepage of Dawn Best, under the handle Ruby the Echidna. It was there she talked about a game I'd never heard of before -- Sonic Adventure -- and provided a link to the announcement trailer in glorious 160p MPEG-1 video. I was blown away. They were making new Sonic games again?

Provided was a link to discuss the game with other Sonic fans, and it lead to Missy's Sonic Chat, a Beseen Chat Room on a website called Xoom (one of the many Geocities clones). Beseen Chats weren't live chatrooms like we'd think of modern-day Discord, or even AIM or IRC. Beseen was much more comparable to Twitter, or Tumblr, in that it was a website where you could post messages and could refresh the feed to see what other people had posted. It was a bit of a hack, but it worked well enough.

The whole thing was broken down in to different frames (if you're too young to know what those are: imagine multiple separate embedded webpages, sectioned off to specific portions of the screen). So you'd have a frame on the left that was a userlist, where people had set names and even large image avatars for themselves. At the bottom you'd have a text entry field with two buttons at the end: Send and Refresh. And then taking up most of the screen real estate was the feed itself. Something sort of like this, I guess:

And a lot of people in this Beseen chat had made up their own, original characters. This was my first introduction to Sonic OCs. And Missy's chat was a veritable who's who extremely talented fanartists. Ruby, Barachan, T2, J. Axer, Rinacat, etc.

I wanted to fit in, so I felt like I needed to come up with "a character" of my own.

Literally the first name to jump to mind was "Blaze the Hedgehog." I didn't like it. It was too obvious. Surely there had to be other Blaze the Hedgehogs out there, right? And I wasn't even particularly attached to "flame" powers.

So I sat there for a few minutes, trying to think of something better. My mind went blank.

Admitting defeat, "Blaze the Hedgehog" it was.

The chat was rather dead, given it was still technically a school day, and once I went home that afternoon, that was the end of my access to the internet. The best we had at home was some sort of Hyundai thing -- amber monochrome monitor, no graphics rendering, no hard disk, basically just a glorified word processor.

That changed once my mom got her tax return a little while later. She invested in a 233mhz Packard Bell desktop computer with Windows 98 and a subscription to America Online.

When prompted to make my own AOL username, I decided to go with "Blazehgehg." BlazeHedgehog. The character I'd made up at school.There it was. For the first time, for real, it was set in stone. And from 1998 to 2023, I've never changed it. Other "Blaze the Hedgehog"s have come and gone, but I've been the constant.

Later that night, I found my way back to Missy's Sonic Chat, and I grabbed one of Axer's Sonic images, sloppily recoloring it in MSPaint. I printed it out for posterity and kept it in a folder with artwork I'd actually drawn.

Blue and green were my favorite colors. Sonic was blue, so Blaze was green. Instead of shoes, he had boots. He wore a leather vest with a black t-shirt on underneath that covered most of his body. And atop his head, a sprout of hair, colored like a flame.

Blaze's only real role as a "character" was in the first and only fanfiction I ever wrote for him; the story was a blend of Final Fantasy VII and an anime I was in love with at the time named "Green Legend Ran." It's better it was lost to time. Besides, I don't think it was ever finished.

Blaze would go through several revisions over the years. More immediately, The Matrix hit the next year, and Blaze was given a trenchcoat. Also, since I could like, actually draw, I decided to stop painting over other people's artwork and draw Blaze for myself.

Eventually, Blaze Hedgehog the character fell out of favor. I grew up. I never really used him for much more than a forum avatar anyway, and even then, I felt like people were judging me for having a Sonic OC. Especially a green hedgehog. There were a dime-a-dozen green hedgehog Sonic OCs floating around.

Once Sega introduced Blaze the Cat in 2005, that sort of became the final nail in the coffin. But by then, I'd been using "BlazeHedgehog" as an online username for seven years. I'd grown attached to it. I didn't want to change it. So... I didn't.

As I've gotten older and put some distance between myself and that time, I find myself a bit nostalgic for the character of Blaze the Hedgehog. I redesigned him a bit a few years ago to look more like a traditional Sega Sonic character, swapping in a bomber jacket and getting rid of the shirt.

And, of course, there was Sonic Forces. Options were limited there, but a brown leather jacket and the weird black bodysuit got closest. I was most surprised by the hairstyle options. While we don't get the classic yellow-to-red, we do get a green-to-red, which is good enough. And I really like these ring-strap boots.

That's about all there is to say, really. These days it's just a username for me, and I keep it so old friends can find me more easily. I'm pretty terrible at keeping up with some people, and I get the feeling I probably come off cold to others when that's never been my intention. But for those who want to keep tabs on me, they know where to find me.

#questions #Anonymous #fan character #sonic oc #original character #blaze the hedgehog #sega #sonic team #sonic the hedgehog #memories #nostalgia

[pink-chevalier]

"Yeah, you're looking at a girl who got a boyfriend." To say that Cadence's proud is an understatement because this girl's bouncing off the wall with her excitement. Ophelia's still in shock over what's going on, but she still gets off the bed and jumps with her best friend because this is fantastic news!

"If we're going, to be honest here, you don't have a boyfriend yet, Cadence." Brielle cuts their short minute of happiness with a cold fact. It's true just because someone asked you out on a date doesn't mean that you two are automatically a couple, but damn, the blond didn't have to say it like that or have her arms crossed over it.

"Why are you hating, Brielle?"

"Cause she's still single, and remember how she had that massive crush on Riley like in 5th grade?" Ophelia brings up a fact that clearly both of the girls have forgotten because Brielle tends to change her crushes hourly. One time she had a crush on Kevin, this somewhat cute kid in their class, but when the math teacher walked in, she immediately changed her mind. Honestly, Brielle and Cadence are pretty boy-crazy, but Cadence makes it known.

"Yeah, but then he rejected all of us and went with that little hoe Victoria." First, Ophelia never really had a crush on Riley because he wasn't her type. She doesn't even know what her type is. Still, she knows that it isn't Riley, and second, if Ophelia could roll her eyes any harder, then she would because just the mention of that name makes her want to throw up.  

"They lasted until 7th grade, and I remembered she dated like all his friends behind his back."

"Ophelia, that wasn't even worse because I heard that Riley caught Victoria in bed with his brother." Ophelia and Cadence cover their mouths when Brielle tells them that. It could be true or false because Victoria went off the deep end when they reached middle school. Their classmate had beautiful golden blond hair. Brielle was always jealous of it because of how healthy it was. When Victoria started going to those high school parties, Ophelia remembers that she dyed her hair black, and her whole aesthetic changed. Victoria was a preppy girl, always happy and talking. Still, she changed into something from a hot topic magazine when they only focused on those emo and gothic clothes.

"No way!"

"Yes, way!"

"It doesn't matter! Listen, Brielle, I'm sorry he asked me on a date, but I didn't want to turn him down."

"I'm a tiny bit jealous that you got a date first because, come on, look at me!"

"Either way, let's be happy!"

<<<      >>>

#simblr #sims 4 #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 legacy challenge #sims 4 knight #Sims 4 Knight family

[hyperfixating-rn-brb]

i saw someone else do this and thought why the hell not. some fun things about me :)

1. Were you named after anyone?

My name is Haley, and its loosely after Edmond Halley, who discovered Halley's Comet. My parents just didn't like the double L.

2. When was the last time you cried?

This morning. I listened to a song I haven't heard since I was in kindergarten.

3. Do you have any kids?

I'm only 15, and plan to wait a while. I do love kids and want one or two when I'm older. I already have names picked out in my head

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I played volleyball from 5th to 8th grade, and had 3 undefeated seasons and 2 conference championships. I'm currently on my high school's varsity bowling team.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Liberally, when in person. not as much online because tone is harder to get across.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

General level of colorfulness. Something about people who have a lot of fun with color in their clothes and hair and everything tend to draw me in pretty quick. being free and comfortable with clothes and color is a huge green flag for me

7. What's your eye color?

Brown so dark it looks black.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings every time. I'll watch horror if there's nothing else on, but it's not my go to. Give me the angst then stuff it full of hurt/comfort until they ride off into the sunset.

9. Any talents?

Pretty good at art and have a decent singing voice.

10. Top 3 fandoms?

Good Omens, PJO, then LOTR. This account is pretty much good omens even though it started for PJO, but I interact more with PJO and LOTR content on instagram and other apps. good omens certainly has the best stock of fic writers, meta writers, and fanartists imo.

11. Hobbies?

I crochet a ton, and have sold at a couple craft shows. Current obsession is crocheting replicas of the many sweaters of David Tennant. Other than that, I read and draw as much as possible.

12. Do you have pets?

I have a painted turtle named Oliver, a 21 year old cat named Claudia, and a crap ton of fish. We foster kittens occasionally, current babies are Squadcar, Squinty, Eddie, Beelzebub, and Hastur. i think its obvious which ones I was allowed to name..

13. How tall are you?

5'5"

14. Favorite subject in school?

Current favorite classes are digital art and web design, but favorite mandatory class is AP World History.

15. Dream job?

Something in either animation or museum curation.

16. Favorite books?

Good Omens, LOTR, PJO, Lockwood & Co, The Reader trilogy, The Girl at Midnight trilogy, Song of Achilles. anything myth or fantasy based, really!

#haleys rant of the day #does this count as a rant idk its just andwering questions #saw someone do it and thought it was fun #fandom #questions

[under-the-cherrytree]

A Wish Upon a Shooting Star

I MADE A PART TWO OKOK-

part 1

enjoy!!

Tsuchigomori took the twins into the library and led them to his boundary. 

“This is my boundary… and I’m not the only one who could feel the disturbance when you guys came.” Tsuchigomori began to lecture as he led them deeper in his boundary. “I’m just the only one who knew what the disturbance was, or, who it was.” He showed the boys two books, one labeled Tsukasa Yugi and the other labeled Amane Yugi. These books weren’t a solid color, they were a white and black mixture, the colors not merging with each other. 

“This isn’t normal. Books that are white are for the living while books that are black are for the dead. You two have a mixture of both which makes me assume that you don’t belong here. You boys are still alive but you don’t have a life here.” 

“Excuse me!” Tsukasa raised his hand in the air like a student “I’m still confused, what are you?!” 

“This is why I hate kids…” Tsuchigomori grumbled, annoyed. “I’m the 5th of the 7 mysteries, you can call me Tsuchigomori. This is my boundary where I keep my books, so please don’t mess anything up. I am also a science teacher here at the school but the students don’t know I’m a supernatural and I would like to keep it that way. When I first felt the disturbance, the two books appeared so I knew that you two were the cause of the disturbance.” 

“I see…” Amane already knew exactly who Tsuchigomori was, what he could do, everything. He knew it wasn’t the time to bring it up now. 

“That's so cool!!! Can I see my book?!” Tsukasa smiled and tried to grab the book but was stopped when one of Tsuchigomoris extra hands stopped him. 

“Unless you want the book to turn red, I recommend you don’t open your book.” The teacher scolded. “But back to important matters, how did you two get here?” 

“Well there was a shooting star and Amane made a wish!!” Tsukasa told the teacher. 

“A wish? What wish?” 

“He wished to come to this world then his keychain started glowing and now we are here!” 

“I see… Do you have the keychain?” 

“Oh.. yeah I do,” Amane answered. 

“Hand it over.” Tsuchigomori stuck out his hand for the boy. Amane walked over to this other version of his teacher and handed him the rocket ship keychain. The teacher held it and examined it. 

“It looks like an ordinary keychain…” He said. 

“Yeah but it started glowing and we touched it and well.. Here we are” Amane replied. 

“I see… this might be important later.” Tsuchigomori handed him back his keychain “for now, you can have it. I’ll try and help you two out, I assume you don’t have a place to stay so would you like to stay with me until we get this thing sorted out?” 

“You would do that for us..?” Amane felt his heart warm up. 

“I mean, you don’t have a place to stay, do you? And I can’t have the two disturbances getting into any more trouble, can I?” 

“That would be great!” 

“Mhm, if you do, you will also have to attend this school until we get things sorted out. I don’t trust you two in my house alone nor do I trust you in my boundary alone. So I will be teaching as you take classes, is that fair?” The teacher offers. 

“Yes!! We will take the classes!” Amane answered. 

“Good, school’s ending soon so I will get you two in tomorrow. I have to stay after school until 7 to grade papers so you will meet me in the library at 7, understood?” 

“Understood, we will be here at 7!” Amane couldn’t hide his excitement. He could stay with you for four hours, how could he not be excited. 

“Okay so we will be on our way now see you later bye-” Amane quickly rushed out of his boundary, Tsukasa close behind him. Amane ran out of the building and into the old school building, going up the stairs and approaching your bathroom. 

He stopped, nervously looking at the door, unable to open it. Luckily for him, Tsukasa opened it, shouting as he went in. 

“Y/n!!! We are here!!” Tsukasa called out to you, making Amane jump in shock. 

“Oh?” You opened the third stall of the bathroom and flew out of it “But school doesn’t end till a hour” 

“Well we were let out early…!” Amane felt himself become more anxious as his heart started to beat faster. 

“And Amane just couldn’t wait to see you~” Tsukasa chimed in, smirking at his older brother. 

“Tsukasa-!!” Amane’s face turned red as he looked at his younger brother. 

“No no it's fine!” You giggle slightly “I am a supernatural and all so I wouldn’t blame you if you were interested in what I could do.” 

“Yeah, ghosts interest me a lot!” He lied. While they did interest him, that's not the real reason he wanted to come. He just wanted to be near you. 

“However, you should be careful around ghosts. You might come across a dangerous one you know.” 

“Ah… understood” You can sense his energy going down slightly so you floated up to him and booped his nose like if he was a cat “But don't worry! I’ll be here to protect you if you do~” 

Amane’s face turned all red as you did this, nodding rapidly. 

“Thank you!!” He couldn’t help but smile like a dork by your words. 

“Of course! Now…” You created distance between you two, grabbing two buckets with rags in them “Get to cleaning!!”

#hanako kun #tbhk hanako #tbhk anime #tbhk x reader #tbhk #toilet bound x reader #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk #jbhk

[anothershittydiaryblog]

I tried

So... I did try to talk to my doctor about medically transitioning. I feel like that's a big thing for a lot of people. I even wrote down notes of the things I wanted to address.

Breast reduction/ Full mastectomy: I had this whole spiel ready about how the size of my breast were causing a lot of pain and discomfort. How much my back hurts and the skin irritation underneath them was nearly unbearable... also how I have a family history of cancer especially breast cancer. At the end I was even going to throw in how having large breast that I couldn't hide in my clothes makes me feel uncomfortable and dysphoric. Add a little GenQueer spice at the end.

Getting on T: At this point I was going to go full send on the Transgender conversation. I've always wanted a deeper voice and a more "masculine" features (broad shoulders and bigger muscles, a more square face shape) I even knew that I wanted to be on a 0.1-0.3 ML weekly dose of testosterone cypionate injections. (Another embarrassing story: When I was a kid I dreamed I'd be 6 feet tall like my dad, brother and granddad. I marked a line on a door frame at about 5'10". Then one day in 5th grade my doctor told me I was done growing I cried because I was only 5'3". My mother tried to give me hope by saying that when she was pregnant with me she grew about an inch taller. Even then I knew I didn't want kids so I gave up on my dream of being tall. T_T).

Permanent Sterilization options: I've always known I didn't kids. Being the oldest sibling gave me lots of opportunities to play parent. Also my entire life the idea of using my body to grow a child felt foreign to me. I knew I was physically capable because I paid enough attention in biology and sex ed to know what parts I had and how they related to the parts of some of my peers but, childbearing as a concept sounded more an illness or cancer that as a black person has a lower than average survivability rate anyways. Why would I want to nurture some tumor in my uterus until it decides to leave in the most painful destructive way possible... I'd rather fill out the paperwork to adopt. I also find it disturbing that I'm expected to let my body prep for this tumor once a month until I decide to nurture one.... I don't think I'd say AAALL that to my doctor but something close...

Even with all that preparation I never told anyone what my appointment was for. My situationship in Seattle (Now to be referred to as Sunshine) thought I was going for anxiety meds. My mom thought it was for my annual check up. I only told my ex-bf (of all people) why I was going. There were weeks in between me making the appointment and actually going to the doctor so I was so anxious about telling my doctor all of these things. I was too scared to come out to my friends and thought I had the bravery to tell a man I only see once a year that I don't want my tits anymore.

Well when the time came for me to go, the universe had to fuck me in the special way that it does, my car didn't start. I tuned the key once, heard nothing and got an Uber with the last of my money... I call the doctors office and they warn me that if I'm more than 10 minutes late to check in then I would have to reschedule but it wouldn't hurt to try. I walk through the the door and rush to the kiosk and lo and behold 11 minutes late... I gave up and cried. I cried the same tears that I cried when my doctor told me I was done growing.

Stranded at my doctors office and too embarrassed to explain to my roommate why I was so upset I called my ex for a ride. He took me to a movie to lift my spirits and confuse me emotionally. Then dropped me off at home...

I still haven't rescheduled that doctors appointment.

[theemperorsfeather]

I was not-tagged in a thing by @cargopantsman . You’re supposed to answer the following questions and then tag 25 people, including the person who tagged you.

Last...

Beverage: a black tea flavored w/cardamom and vanilla, it's really fucking amazing Phone call: another wrong number call for the guy I keep getting wrong number calls for (this time I learned that it is only the last digit that makes our numbers different) Text message: I don't remember and my phone isn't within reach Song you listened to: Sing Me to Sleep by Alan Walker, I mean it's currently playing if that counts Time you cried: like, sobbed cried, or got a little teared up cried?... you know, I actually can't remember, but the latter happens probably at least once a week and the former is really infrequent but maybe back in January?

Have you ever...

Dated someone twice: does that mean "went on two dates with" because yeah, or "dated someone, broke it off, then dated them again" because no Kissed someone and regretted it: yup Lost someone special: yup Been depressed: yup Been drunk and threw up: . . . maybe? maybe not?

Last year, have you...

Made a new friend: hmm possibly Fallen out of love: yah Laughed until you cried: once! I'd recently experience some Stresses and then I was reading something extremely funny and laughing a lot and then suddenly: sobbing Found out who your true friends are: I mean I guess? Although possibly not in the way that whoever wrote this meant? Found out someone was talking about you: Often! Usually it's totally benign but I'm always a little taken aback when someone says "so we were talking about you and."

General

How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?: most of them List 3 favorite colors: green, magenta, that dark shade of green that distant pines and other evergreens are

Firsts

First surgery: wisdom teeth removal First piercing: ear lobes First best friend: a girl I was in grade school with who was also on the same bus route First sport you joined: basketball in, I think, 5th grade First vacation: I'm going with "first I can recall" and it's -probably- to Minnesota, from Oregon, with my parents, to visit my mom's family First pair of trainers: uhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm sure, there were some, were they Puma or Nike or, I don't know? who knows

Right now

Eating: nothing Drinking: as above I’m about to: finish then and then scroll Tumblr some more

Your future

Want kids: yes. no. Get married: MmmmmMMMmmmmmmmmhmmmmmm per.......haps Career: no, absolutely not, unless someday I look back and realize it has already happened, but there will be no more Plans

Which is better

"Better"? Better for WHAT! Looking at? Doing . . . things . . . with?

Lips or eyes: eyes Hugs or kisses: hugs Shorter or taller: IDK, most partner-type people have been taller than me, so my basis for comparison is lacking Older or younger: by how -much- is the key here I think Romantic or spontaneous: errrrrr gonna have to go with romantic but just by a bit, but really either as long as it isn't too much in either direction Nice stomach or nice arms: better for WHAT - I - I don't think I understand the assignment, at all Sensitive or loud: what. Hook-up or relationship: sometimes one, sometimes the other Trouble maker or hesitant: I cannot answer this, there are too many variables

Have you ever...

Kissed a stranger: hmm . . . hmm. depends on how you define "stranger" I mean I think there had been some introductions Drank hard liquor: yeah Lost glasses/contacts: yeah, pretty sure there's been a lost-and-never-found contact lens or two over the years Sex on first date: nope Broke someone’s heart: yep Been arrested: nope Turned someone down: yup Cried when someone died: yeah

Do you believe in...

Yourself: I am here. Miracles: I mean, divine intervention? Yes. Love at first sight: yes Heaven: hmm, um, yeah, sure, whole pile of various afterlives out there, yeah? Santa Claus: no Kiss on the first date: I mean, maybe? I'm not opposed Angels: aha. ha. I wouldn't call it "belief" but sure.

Tags: to quote the person whomst not-tagged me: 25 is a lot... gonna pull the cheap trick of “Anyone that sees this from me can do it and tag me as your source so I can read it later.”

#tag games

[vampyrluver]

i had the opposite issue of ppl parents being told their kid might have smth goin on (Adhd, autism, dyslexia etc) but hte parent never telling the kid until later in life, bc i was put in special ed classes in elemtary school nd no one told my parents until i mentioned to them i was in special ed classes after in like highschool nd they were like "what"

#.txt #as far as i kno #the only thing they said i had was dyslexia #tho there couldve been other reasons i was also in tht class #seeing as i do now have adhd nd am currently questioning autism #so maybe they saw tht nd was like yeahhhh this kid needs extra help #i was also in weekly group counceling for kids of divorced parents #my parents were never divorced #my parents also didnt find out abt this until like i menrioned it last year #elemtary school was very misguided #also my parent thought the school was racist #i was the only black kid until 5th grade #in my grade #in the whole school there were like 5 black students out of like 600 students #fun times

[sunkuto]

> xiao (modern headcanons)

⇾ sfw / tw: none

⇾  reqs are opened!!!!  💌

a/n: it has been so long my friends!!! i’ve been working full time with college on the side, it’s been difficult, but i can finally start posting again, i have a lot of free time and motivation! i’ve gotten into genshin again as well,,, i cannot stop playing. enjoy these headcanons!!

⇾ xiao would go by he/they because he’s cool like that 

⇾ he was a band kid back in high school. he played the flute and even after he graduated he bought one just to continue this hobby. 

⇾ xiao doesn’t like coffee, he prefers tea. hot delicious tea. 

⇾ at one point xiao hated his long hair and he kept cutting it off on his own, but one day a random stranger complimented him, and it stuck with him forever,,, meaning he grew his hair out. hehe

⇾ he likes going on long walks, only at night though. he likes the pitch black and the only light source is coming from the moon. 

⇾ he failed his driving test twice 

⇾ he loves cooking, he doesn’t like fast food at all. actually, xiao would be vegetarian he literally loves almond tofu. 

xiao doesn’t like pizza

whole foods is his favorite place to shop. 

⇾ when he was in 5th-8th grade he got into a lot of fights as a kid. he was a very emotional and unwell young teen who didn’t know how to express his emotions, especially anger. 

⇾ he HATES coloring and drawing. he sucked at art class. 

⇾ he loves watching documentaries and learning about stuff that is practically USELESS (in my opinion) which is why he did so well in history class. 

⇾ he doesn’t like getting into debates / arguments due to how introverted he can be but once he’s on the spotlight he won’t stop arguing until he is right 

⇾ for a good while xiao would “Type Like This” because he Wants To Be Formal And Cool 

speaking of typing, he doesn’t like emojis, and if he were to use any, it would be: ”🖤💀☠️”

⇾ he doesn’t like the beach because he is insecure about the way he looks but over time he gains confidence 

⇾ he doesn’t like using social media but if he ever posted it would be a black and white photo with some type of edgy caption 

⇾ LAKAJSHWIWN he would listen to emo music, definitely pierce the veil. he’s a pierce the veil type of person and my chemical romance 

⇾ he’s a cat dad. he has 5 cats and all of them are named after his favorite foods. (he’s allergic to dogs)

⇾ it’s already canon is the game but he has a lisps, it’s because he had braces growing up. he’s very insecure about it 

⇾ since he has a hard time expressing emotions he sends his friends wholesome memes rather than typing out what he feels

#xiao #xiao headcanons #genshin xiao #genshin headcanons #xiao fluff #xiao modern au #genshin modern au #genshin impact

[choibinn3]

GET IT TOGETHER, JUNGWON!!

[ four. O_o Yang Jungwonnie ]

series masterlist

⋆·˚ ༘ * in which jungwon had meant for that love letter to go to yeri, and not you—her bff. for some reason though, he finds that with each moment he spends together with you he's closer and closer to forgetting all about that damn letter.

luv note - chloe moriondo

WRITTEN PORTION. 1.9k words

btw remember that second hand embarrassment tag?? yeahh....

ps. this is bad, very, very bad and cheesy so be warned (its meant to be, but youll still feel pain lol)

—

student council room.

Jungwon could feel his hands clamming up, but he instead urged himself to just swallow down his nerves. For the past week he thought the biggest worry he had was his parents and Student Council work.

Not potentially losing friendships and breaking your heart.

"Jungwon? Are you still there?" your voice asked. It was slightly muffled by the door, but still distinct. "I had to tell Hyuka to go back without me."

You, he remembered. He had to fix this. He had known you since you were both in kindergarten, incidentally somehow being in the same classes up until High School. Still, he didn't know you though.

You were closer than acquaintances, maybe a little less than friends, and definitely not more than people with mutual friends. With everything that had been happening since the Student Council election, he had assumed he'd get closer to you naturally. It just never happened though, but he enjoyed your company when he could.

Yeri on the other hand, he was connected with. Being both Student Council President and Vice President meant they worked together often, and he found himself being drawn to her sweetness. He enjoyed their dynamic and their current friendship.

The way they worked complemented each other, and she always found a way to make him smile—it seemed as though her kindness and generosity knew no bounds. Plus, she related to him in a way none of his other friends did.

Late, after class and after hours, they'd both talk casually while doing paperwork. Jungwon's parents were hardheaded and stubborn people, wanting the best for him and yet stressing him out. They were the whole reason he ran for President in the first place.

He couldn't find it in himself to hate them though.

Yeri was the same, and she supported him throughout all the difficult times he went through because of them. She was soft, so level headed, fiercely loyal, and unbelievably pretty.

They had been partners and friends for a little over a month, and Jungwon was sure he wanted to at least try with her. It was young, new and unfurling feelings, it was something he wanted to find out.

Your energetic personality was charming, but that was all it was. It didn't strike his heart in any particular way. Jungwon was almost 100% sure there was no way Yeri would ever date him after this, but he needed to prioritize your feelings currently.

He just hoped Yeri and him could still be friends afterwards though—because being a liar was the one thing Jungwon wasn't.

"Yeah," he called out, "still here. You can just come back in now."

He watched as you nervously peeled back the sliding door of the clubroom, inching inside to peer at him. You walked closer to stand in front of him, and Jungwon smiled in hopes of easing your anxiousness.

You threw one back, although a bit hesitantly. "Jungwon," you started, twiddling with your fingers. He simply watched—wanting to at least let you talk a bit. Crushing your feelings now would be nothing but brutal. "Honestly, I was really surprised with the letter. Do you... remember back in 3rd grade?"

"No? I'm sorry, I'm not good with memories from Elementary School," the doe-eyed boy replied. He was telling the truth, grade school felt like ages ago and he just hasn't had the time to reminisce on childhood memories.

You held your hands up in a defensive manner. "That's fine! Um, you like... Uhh, how do I say this..." You made gestures with your figures, hoping to convey it to him in one way or another. God, this was dumb.

Jungwon observed silently as you laughed at your own stuttering. Endearing, came to mind. That was cute.

In the Council Room and in class, you were always particularly enthusiastic and excitable. Seeing you bashful was a very different side of you for the black-haired boy.

"I sent you my own love letter once. Like, a long, long time ago, and you sort of rejected me? I think."

"You think?" The boy held back a laugh, but quickly composed himself. He wasn't laughing maliciously, just... how could you be unsure of such a thing? "I'm sorry, but I still don't remember."

"Yeah, that's fine!" You nodded, embarrassed from his almost-chuckle. You did not want to seem like an idiot in front of him today. "Actually, I don't remember much either, but you didn't reply to it."

Jungwon gazed at your brows furrowed from trying to think of more words to say, and suddenly he felt a tonne of guilt fall onto him. His expression grew solemn.

Quick, get it over with, before this would get any worse.

"Look, YN—"

He had to shut his mouth almost immediately.

"What I'm trying to say is—!" You took a deep breath. "I've liked you since then! Since years, and years ago," you finally blurted, closing your eyes as to not see his reaction.

"You're the only one I've ever felt this way towards. I thought once I grew up this warmth would just... go away, but it hasn't and I don't think it will. I was honestly going to just swallow it all down hoping I'd get over it before we graduate, but I couldn't. My feelings were overflowing—I just found myself finding more things about I liked about you instead."

Your goal today was to not embarrass yourself, but to hastily tell him you liked him too before sprinting away. It seemed as though nothing was going to plan so far, for neither of you, actually.

Jungwon was left unable to speak from your surprising declaration. You took that as a sign to continue. Whatever happened next was something for future you to panic over.

"I like your dimples, that smile you make when you're passing by strangers in the hallway, and the way your hair falls when you comb through it. You're admirable in everything you do, truly. The way you help underclassmen, the way you always make sure to assist teachers during your free periods, and how you never seem to complain or get frustrated when we make mistakes."

You had nurtured your feelings for what felt like forever. Even when you were technically rejected back then, and even now. At first, you thought that he would be a passing crush from when you were a kid—but he wasn't. He grew into his own so much so that you found yourself admiring his leadership, compassion and thoughtfulness with each day you watched him.

"I like how mature you are, how you still find the time to care for your friends even with Student Council work, the natural way you light up any room you walk into, how I could honestly hear your voice talk for hours on end, how even though we haven't spoken much you still remember my favorite color from when I told you during introductions, I'm rambling gahh, just—all of it! I like all of it, everything about you!"

Everyday of harboring your secret affections for the boy consisted of soft glances during his speeches, wishes to be able to encase his hand within yours to interlock your fingers under the table during meetings, and wantings to be more than what you were to him. It was alright for a while, but it had started to become painful.

All crushes are painful, you told yourself in 5th grade, watching him start to receive confessions from your classmates.

"—I like you! I've liked you since the 3rd grade, and so I accept! I really, really want to be with you Yang Jungwon. Please take care of me!"

They were all painful, but you were given the chance to make yours not. To make your feelings real and acknowledged, to bare yourself in front of him like a vivisection—and you were taking it. Even when you were practically trembling from the embarrassment.

Jungwon was stilled from the shock. Heeseung had already told him of your long held feelings, but hearing it from your mouth while you had your eyes shut tight made him flustered.

How were you able to do that so shamelessly? To be so vulnerable and weak in front of someone? He had to write a whole letter, albeit a bit poorly, and somehow you were able to say it all.

He's received confessions before, felt those kind of feelings, but he wouldn't have been able to yell out those sort of things ever—no matter how strong his feelings were. You were dangerously bold, he thought.

Bold enough to send a bright heat to overtake his cheeks.

You looked up finally after mustering enough courage from his lack of speaking, only to find yourself blinking at a red-faced Jungwon. Oh my God, he's blushing...! YOU did that.

The both of you stood there for a while, thinking the same thought of what is even happening? Is this real, or have I just been in a daze for the past few days? Jungwon's eyes were comically wide and his mouth was gaping, but he couldn't find it in himself to close it.

The thought made you gain confidence all of a sudden, finding the opportunity to do something you had always wanted to do. Quickly and stealthily, you went onto your tippy toes—

and kissed him on the cheek.

Jungwon felt your lips on the smooth expanse of his skin, and smelt your scent from the intimate proximity. It was a chaste gesture, almost no where close to his lips at all, but he heard his heart beating against his ribcage nonetheless. It thrummed in his ears like a drum, and he wanted to whisper for it to stop.

For it to not be swayed so easily.

It was the innocence of such a thing that got to him. Not once had Jungwon held hands, kissed, or even confessed to someone up until now. Of course, you suddenly getting so close and pecking him with your hands balled up would send his heart into a flurry.

The usually put together Student Council President in front of you let out a strangled noise from the back of his throat, the tips of his ears and face becoming rosier. His throat was closing up, God, why was his throat closing up? Not now, please. He couldn't even remember what he was meant to be saying.

You smiled at him, happy to be rendering him to such a state. It was one of the most impulsive things you've done up to date, but you couldn't find yourself regretting it.

This was what those coming of age dramas on TV were describing—it was the start of one of those cheesy, really bad High School romances. Fervent, mushy, uncertain, but so tender it made your heart ache for hours even after watching.

As you retreated slowly, he caught a glimpse of your bright eyes, downcast lashes, and—holy shit you were so close. He could see the particular way you curled your lips.

He had to hold his breath.

Jungwon watched as your expression morphed into one of slight mischievousness, and an inkling of something softer, before you dashed out the sliding doors—

"Wait!

The sudden motion made him gain his words back, but you were already through the hallways with your hand on your bag.

—leaving him with nothing but the memory and the patter of your footsteps. So fast, so much speed, were you in track? The past few seconds were nothing but a blur of confusion and feelings he didn't want felt.

What just... What just happened?

previous | next - series masterlist

TLDR (but whyy :( pls read it); jungwon goes to do take backsies on his confession, u kiss his cheek, he goes coocoo bananas!!!

TAGLIST; @lumixen @ghjasksdk @atinyyylove @jjikyuu @yjwooon @ncityy04 @tyunni @littlewolfieposts @xoxojayd3n @rosiechaengz @sunshine-skz @youreverydayzebra @hobistigma @plshhhhhhh @lokideadontheinside @alo-ehas @milkycloudtyg @bangtopia

send an ask or dm

i wanted to emphasize how new his feelings for yeri :] if u could guess what this could mean. alsoooo... did u notice how fast this went ? i intended it to be rushed and "in the moment" like it was in the scene hehe

#yang jungwon x reader #jungwon x reader #jungwon smau #yang jungwon x y/n #yang jungwon x you #jungwon angst #enhypen angst #jungwon fluff #jungwon drabbles #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #jungwon imagines #enhypen social media au #enhypen socmed au #jungwon social media au #jungwon scenarios #get it together jungwon!! smau #get it together jungwon!!

[mypoisonedvine]

Can u pls write something like dark!reader x steve rogers high school AU , where R is rich spoil brat & she always had a crush on steve but she always bully him by calling him skinny and all and Then yrs later, time changes her family discarded her from will and she becomes poor and need job, got hired for PA by dark ceo!steve rogers who she bullied her all school lifee😈😈

okay this is a lot for a headcanon but I don’t have time to do a whole oneshot BUT I also really like it so we’re gonna just make a longass headcanon here we gooooo

warnings for heavy dub con, choking, slapping, degradation (by steve), bullying (by the reader), abortion mention, brief mention of/implied assault.

“heyo pipsqueak” you called out to get steve’s attention, laughing when he frowned.  “looks like you grew a whole inch over summer, be sure to have your mom draw a line in pencil on the doorframe.”

he just rolled his eyes and got back to chatting with his friend.  not friends, friend, cause he only had one: bucky, who snarled at you as well.

“pick on someone your own size, if you can find somebody with as big a head as you,” bucky shot back, making you scoff.

“you know, it’s a shame you hang out with this deformed freak, you could’ve been popular.  you’ve got the looks for it.”

“I’d rather keep my brains, thanks,” bucky explained as you walked away with your posse of fellow popular kids.

you didn’t used to be so mean to steve.  it was sort of a comedy of errors, really.  you two had been friends in elementary school-- you, him, and bucky were the rambunctious trio up until middle school.  

things change for boys and girls in middle school.  guys just get along with each other and don’t think about it much.  girls, though... girls need to be sharp.  it’s eat or be eaten.  and you wanted to eat.

you were lucky that you developed early.  it meant that girls respected you and boys feared you-- not just for your attractive features but for the fact that you loomed a foot over most of them.

you started to take advantage of it.  and by the time you realized you had feelings for your best friend steve, it was already too late-- he was at the bottom of the food chain and you were at the top.  

you told your new girl friends that you wanted to take steve to the sadie hawkins.  they laughed at you.  for a moment, you felt what it was like to be outcast and you never wanted to feel it again.  so, you told steve and bucky that you’d grown apart.  and you were happy to just be former friends...

it was steve that started it.  he called you out.  he told you that you were nothing like who he used to know-- you had become vapid and cold and narcissistic.

“you’re so busy worrying about what other people think, you never take the time to think for yourself.”  that was what he said.  and it fucking hurt.

“saw you talking to your boyfriend steve the dweeb,” your friend tanya announced at lunch just a few minutes after that conversation.  and you were angry, and hurt, and truly friendless despite being surrounded by other popular girls.  so you said some things you could never take back.

“steve?  as if.  did you know he still sleeps with a security blanket?  and he has his friend bucky fight for him every week cause if he took a punch he’d crumble to dust?”

and so, mortal enemies were formed.  it only got worse in high school, as you fought to secure your title at the top while steve and bucky’s presence filled your heart with guilt and your gut with anger.

if only you’d known how quickly you could fall from your high horse.

it started when you dated tanya’s ex, brock.  she was made so she spread a rumor that you would fuck any guy on the football team, even all of them at once.

apparently, a lot of people believed it since tanya had been your sidekick since 6th grade.

two football players believed it.  and when you wouldn’t follow through on it, you got yourself a black eye.

that meant you missed school for a week because you couldn’t possibly show up looking like that.  tanya told everyone it was because you got grounded and sent away to church camp after your parents caught you in bed with one of the neighbors.  so now your reputation was ‘sleeps with football players and old men.’

only brock had been there for you.... but it turned out he had motives of his own.  you had originally planned to wait until college, but brock was clearly wanting something in return for putting up with dating pariah #1... so you let him take your virginity.

the condom broke.  when you dashed to the trash can to hurl in the middle of history class, you knew something was wrong.  (and lost that many more social points in the process.)

brock dumped you the second he found out you were pregnant.  didn’t even help you pay for the abortion.  he got back together with tanya and told her the real reason for your ‘medical absence’.  and that was the last straw for the former homecoming queen.

the humiliation drove you to some.... poor choices, for the next few years.  you tried not to think about them now, but it was hard not to when their consequences were staring you right in the face: no money, no job, nearly homeless, and desperate.

over a hundred job applications later, only one had called you back and scheduled an interview.  and you only needed one.

so there you were, waiting in the chilly lobby area while the receptionist typed away and chomped her gum, tapping your toes and glancing out the window occasionally.

you were surprised when you had been told your interview would be on the 51st floor.  you sort of assumed it would just be some random manager interviewing you, not somebody important enough to have a waiting room like this, or a view like this.

when a man stepped out from the nearby hallway, your eyes went wide.  he was tall, and handsome, and obviously muscular underneath the exquisite suit.  you suddenly felt underdressed in your hand-me-down business clothes.

then he called your name.  and you realized he was going to interview you.

you stood up and nodded.  “you can follow me to my office,” he instructed with a smile, leading you down the hall to the corner office.  you were in awe of the grandiosity of it all.  you were dumbfounded when you saw CEO on the door.

“there must have been a mistake,” you explained as he shut the door behind you.  “I... I’m just interviewing for an entry-level position.”

“no, there’s no mistake,” he shook his head, “I have you exactly where I want you.  take a seat.”

he circled his desk and sat on the other side of it, resting his elbows on the desk and giving you an oddly smug smile.  an awkward silence was finally broken when he realized, “you must not remember me.”

“I... have we met?” 

“I don’t blame you, I look pretty different,” he shrugged.  “I must’ve grown a whole inch this summer.”

you gave him a confused look before realization dawned on you, along with shame, and fear.

“oh... oh my god, Steve?!” you squawked.  he just grinned.  “you look... you look...”

“taller?”

sexy.

“you look great!” you said aloud instead.

“yeah,” he agreed, “wish I could say the same for you.”

you swallowed dryly.  “so that’s what you want,” you sighed, “to get back at me.  I understand.  I deserve it...”

“I don’t want revenge,” he denied.  “I’m just sorry to see you haven’t been... thriving, since high school.  your job history--” he scanned your resume briefly-- “well, you don’t have one.  have you been slumming it all this time?”

“without my parents’ money?  yeah,” you admitted.  

“surprised you applied here, instead of turning tricks on 5th and Columbus.”

your back straightened and your eyes went wide at that comment.

“I mean, you’re already dressed for it,” he smirked.

you stood up and crossed your arms.  “if you’re just going to insult me, then I’ll leave now.  I’m sorry for everything I did to you, steve,” you announced, voice shaky with oncoming tears.

“can you really afford to leave?” he pressed.  “if you have a chance at a job?”

that, unfortunately, got your attention.  “you... you might actually offer me something?”

“I will offer you something,” he corrected, “if you just sit down and listen.”

you relented, returning to your seat.  you could stand a lot more insults if there was money on the line.

“to be honest, there’s no way I can hire you for the position you applied for,” he sighed.  “you’re just underqualified.  but I think I can create a position for you.”

you liked the sound of that.  “what kind of position?”

“well, that’s tricky, seeing as you don’t have any skills,” he frowned, “except one.  so that’s the one I plan on using.”

the look in his eyes made it all too clear what he was referring to, but as you shrunk into the leather chair he went ahead and clarified.

“I’ll pay you whatever salary you saw in the ad.  but you won’t be doing data analysis or office management or anything like that.  all you’ll be doing is spreading your legs for me whenever I fucking want.”

fear shot up your spine; his eyes were devouring you, pinning you to the chair, and you tried to process that.  “I--”

“before you say anything,” he interrupted immediately, “let’s just be perfectly clear that this might be your only shot at a real job.  what I’m offering has better pay than stripping, and better benefits than hooking.  and unless you have any education or experience I don’t know about, you’re totally fucked.”

“seems like I’m fucked either way,” you mumbled, making him laugh.

“see, you’ve still got that sharp tongue,” he grinned.  “can’t wait to put it to better use.”

maybe it was just desperation for cash.  maybe it was because he was good-looking and you could do a lot worse.  maybe it was because, on some level, you felt like you deserved his punishment after how horribly you’d treated him.

“I’ll do it,” you sighed.  “when do I start?”

he stood up and reached across the desk to grab your neck, glaring at you.  “right now.”

his free hand was already fumbling with his belt, the one on your throat guiding you downwards.  “on your knees,” he instructed, and you slipped out of the chair and onto the floor.

he let go of your neck and you figured he was going to come to you, but instead he stood still and demanded: “crawl.”

debasing as it was, you crawled on your knees to his side of the desk, and he laughed at you bitterly.  when you reached his feet and popped back up, you gasped at the sight of his hard cock right in front of your face. it was bigger than your face.  and it was dripping precum.

“don’t get so bug-eyed, you can handle it,” he grinned.  “if your mouth’s as big as I remember...”

you didn’t want to hear any more.  you just wanted to get this over with, so you quickly took his head between your lips and started to suck.  you were shocked when he slapped you, hard enough to knock his length from your mouth and to make you reach up and clutch your stinging cheek.

“fucking whore,” he grimaced, “did I say you could put it in your mouth?  god, you’re so fucking desperate.  just open your fucking mouth and I’ll show you what I want, okay?”

you nodded and stammered an apology, looking up at him with watery eyes and an open mouth.  he swiped the latest drop of precum on your tongue before gliding his cock over it, grabbing your hair to keep you steady as he pushed himself to the back of your throat.

“fuck, that’s better,” he sighed.  “so much better when you just do what you’re told.  I remember how you used to be so cruel with this mouth.  now you’re being so welcoming...”

you just sat there and let him use your mouth, trying not to gag when he hit your throat.

“look up at me,” he instructed, “yeah, that’s it.  can’t have you forgetting who’s doing this to you, now can we?”

that went on for a bit longer until mascara-stained tears streaked your face, which he seemed rather proud of.

“damn, wouldn’t mind having you swallow my come right now,” he admitted, “but I have bigger plans.  get up, bend over my desk.”

you coughed briefly when he pulled out, but did as you were told.  he instantly yanked your skirt up over your ass and spanked you several times roughly, making you sob and whine.

“wanna see this ass all bruised up in the shape of my hand,” he explained.  “so we can both remember how hard I fucked you.”

he tore your panties like they were paper, chuckling when he found you already wet.

“dripping already, just from choking on my cock?  poor baby...”

you spread your legs slightly, though you were sure nothing was going to adequately prepare you for his size.

“you figured out how to use birth control since graduating, right?” he asked, and you nodded quickly.  “good.  cause I’m not using a condom,” he continued as he let his cock glide over your folds, groaning slightly, “and there’s no way in hell I’m pulling out.”

he pushed forward in one brutal stroke, making you cry out loudly.  you really hoped these rooms were mostly soundproof.

“shit, you’re tight,” he hissed, already pulling back and thrusting back in.  “clearly you recovered from your years of slutting it up in high school.”

“that-- that wasn’t true,” you defended.

“oh, just shut up,” he growled.

he fucked you fast and deep, his hips pushing yours into the edge of his desk with each thrust.  his hands pinned you down at your shoulders, another reminder that you were entirely at his mercy.

“fuck, this is just what you needed... somebody to put you in your place.  makes sense that it should be me, since you hated me so much.”

“I didn’t h-hate you,” you hiccuped. 

“yeah, you wanted me, didn’t you?”

“always,” you admitted.

“wanted my fat fuckin’ cock to tear up your pussy?  is that it?”

“yes,” you moaned, “yes, steve, wanted to be yours.”

“even when I was skinny and short?”

“even when you hated me,” you added.

he growled slightly and you felt your walls tighten around him suddenly.  he chuckled, clearly aware that you were enjoying this.

“you want more, baby?  want me to fuck you harder?”

“whatever you want,” you answered instead.  “just use me however you want.”

he moaned and leaned down to cage your body in with his.  “fuck, baby... you’re taking this better than I thought you would.  such a good girl for me, huh?  such a good little slut.  want me to use you, baby?  take all my anger out on you?”

“yes,” you whispered, sobbing when he began to fuck you more brutally than you thought possible.  but it felt good.  so good that your legs were shaking, so good that you felt even better when he tugged your hair.

“yeah, gonna come on my cock, aren’t you?” 

you nodded and bit your lip.

“m’ close too,” he admitted, “you’re gonna be so full of my come, it’s gonna be dripping down your legs when you walk out of here...”

your orgasm made your body shake and your eyes roll back.

“fuck, I can feel you coming,” he groaned, “fuck, just like that-- fuck!”

you felt his warmth fill you as his cock flexed against your walls.  you were busy trying to catch your breath when he slumped down on top of you and pushed the air from your lungs.

“damn... didn’t think I was gonna come that fast,” he sighed.  “see what you do to me?  fuck, I knew this was a good idea.”

sure, it felt good, but you were sure he was only going to get rougher and meaner the longer this went on.  you couldn’t imagine how you were going to get out of here without somebody noticing your wrinkled clothes, messed-up hair and, as he’d pointed out himself, come all over your thighs.

“guess I’ll see you at 8am tomorrow, huh?” he chuckled, giving you an unexpected peck on the cheek.  you couldn’t answer, though, interrupted by the phone on his desk ringing.  “oh, sorry, gotta get this.”

he reached for the phone and picked it up, bringing to his ear all without pulling out of you or even lifting his body from on top of yours.

“bucky, hey,” steve grinned as he spoke into the phone, looking down at you and stroking your hair, “you’re not gonna believe who I ran into today...”

#dark!steve rogers x reader #ceo!steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers hc #dark!steve rogers smut #Anonymous

[writingwithcolor]

Biracial (B/W), Trans, and Cultural Disconnect

I’m a biracial college grad who grew up in a very white, rural area in the northeast US and within the last four years made the realization I’m trans ( or masculine-aligned agender but that’s for another time ). My mother is black and my father is white.

Beauty Standards

Beauty standards haven’t really been something I’ve paid attention to growing up, mostly because dresses and skirts always made be uncomfortable and I didn’t like the weight of makeup on my face. I am very stubborn and so I stuck to not wearing them as much as possible, even getting into arguments with my mother about wearing a dress to a funeral when I had nice dress pants and a blouse to wear instead.

My mother did have a bit of an obsession with my hair growing up; she loved my curls to the point that if I mentioned cutting them she adamantly said no. My hair isn’t the usual tight black coils but rather “banana curls” as my mother described. It was only in my senior year of high school that, out of the blue, she told me if I wanted to cut my hair I could.

Culture / Family Life / Identity Issues

This is the biggest struggle I find I deal with and sort of ties in with like four topics, so this section will be long. I don’t have any attachment to a culture, not even the African-American culture developed in the US. I grew up in a very, very white area and until 5th grade, went to a private religious school where as far as I can remember, I was the only PoC in the whole (under 100) student body.

Both of my parents have no siblings and due to some things, I only actually met my dad’s extended family three or so years ago when we went for a visit aside from phone conversations I had with his father when he was alive. My mother’s parents were gone before I was 5 and she didn’t really have any extended family aside from a couple of cousins up in New York who I saw every so often when I was really young. I had an “aunt” who my mother knew for many years along with her son whom I consider an uncle, but that’s about all the extended family I have. My (half) brother is 13 years older than I, so by the time I was 7 he was out of the house and visiting only a few times a year. So even despite not being an only child, I was raised like one.

Even in the public school I went to, there weren’t a lot of BIPOC and the few that showed up in high school in my small grade and I didn’t really talk. My university had a majority white student body and I found I couldn’t quite relate with the BIPOC community, mostly because it felt like you had to choose between the BIPOC community or the LGBTQIA+ community and most of my classmates, because of my major, and friends were part of the latter.

When I studied abroad, I became good friends with a BIPOC queer group, especially with a black individual from NC. But sometimes they would make references to me and such that I wouldn’t understand and at one point this individual said “How do you not get that, you’re black!” I had to pull them aside and explain my environment growing up and thankfully, they understood immediately and apologized. But it was alienating, and exacerbated the feelings I have of “I don’t belong anywhere”.

I’m not light skinned enough to pass as white, but I don’t have the experiences of growing up in a black community to connect with other black folk. I just feel like I stand alone in that respect.

Micro-aggressions

I don’t know if this counts as a micro-aggression, but the thing that comes to mind immediately happened when I was 14. I had an online friend and we had been voice-chatting for awhile. One night I turned on my camera and the first thing out of their mouth was “You’re black? You don’t sound black!“ 

I don’t speak/use AAVE because I didn’t grow up around people who did, and don’t have any sort of understanding about it, etc. This also adds into the whole identity crisis thing.

Misconceptions

I am frequently assumed to be Hispanic and, on one occasion, Indian. I’ve had people ask me if I’m Mexican outright. At one point I worked in a nursing home and the dementia unit had a lot of nurses who spoke Spanish due to some of the residents forgetting English. One of these nurses spoke to me in Spanish. I gave him a blank look and he sorta paused and went “You don’t speak Spanish?” I was also on a train once and an older Indian gentleman was standing near me? Or took the seat next to me and I believed he asked me if I was Indian outright.

I don’t have enough Workplace experience to make it it’s own category, but I once worked in a Dunkin Donuts with a primarily Indian and Haitian staff and I had these older POC women repeatedly asking me “Where are you from?” when I started. I told them “oh, the western part of the state” and they did the “but where are you from.“ I don’t know, I’m sorry.

Also as a kid my dad picked me up from school and this one girl asked me if I was adopted lmao. Nobody ever thinks biracial.

Self-esteem

I have pretty low self-esteem. While I don’t necessarily think I’m ugly, my struggle with my identity both gender and racially make it hard to be confident and outgoing, at least with strangers. I dunno, existing is hard sometimes.

Things I’d like to see more of

More mixed kids in stories and media as main characters or main supporting characters

More interracial relationships of all kinds, not just black & white.

I don’t know if it’s right to ask for this, but also.. more small families. 

More people whose families are like mine: just myself, my parents and my brother, with an occasional family friend showing up for holidays. All these stories with plenty of cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents always make me feel alone and like I missed out on a lot.

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#POC Profiles #Black #Mixed Race #Transgender #agender #hair #black hair #culture #identity issues #microaggressions #culture disconnect #LGBTQIA #submission #Anonymous submission