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#i was learning how to draw wings and my friends derailed it into the fucking cookie game once AGAIN.
gaarfielf · 6 years
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my list of lupin movies ive watched for the sake of keeping track and making sure i dont rewatch some
Castle of Cagliostro (10)
favourite Lupin movie of all time. Fantastic art, cast, plot, everything.
Blood Seal: Eternal Mermaid (8.5)
Really good animation and really interesting plot. Another ‘Lupin has to babysit’ movie but it was treated in such a way that set it apart from other ones. He gives her a lot of good advice and overall I really enjoyed this one even if it’s kind of underrated.
Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (8.5)
Surprisingly good like I wasn’t expecting a 90′s Lupin movie to come for me like this but the animation is really solid and the movie itself was really funny. I also liked that Maria and Zenigata weren’t a thing like that cleared my pores.
The Bloodspray of Ishikawa Goemon (8)
The animation is fucking stellar but there were odd gaps in the movie that were really inactive. I liked the two subplots going on though like they were both interesting.
Bye Bye Lady Liberty (8)
The classic convoluted subplots worked well here tbh and the Goemon romance stuff was gunshot noise gunshot noise cash register noise. The animation had this weird glow to it but it was (almost) the 90s lol
Hemingway Papers (8)
They really got me with Goemon and Jigen going against each other and Lupin being in a relationship with someone aside from Fujiko (a relationship that was genuinely romantic) was actually pretty well done. That whole bit at the end with the karaoke machine? Amazing
Return the Treasure (7)
Another one that was really close to being perfect. The only loose ends was that the “treasure” wasn’t really explained very well (but i mean, the lead up to it was very good) and i could’ve done with more scenes with the whole gang (it seemed like there was a lot of times where it was lupin jigen and fujiko or lupin goemon and fujiko, but not enough of all of them together)
From Siberia With Love (7) 
The usual amount of humour and action from a Lupin III film and the art is pretty standard. Goemon got a few nice quotes in and Fujiko talked to a woman. Could’ve done without Rasputin but thats just me.
Elusiveness of the Fog (7)
Lupin offering Goemon to the princess was kinda funny and I actually really liked OG Mamo (not the short freak) being revitilized bc his episode in the original series was really entertaining. The history of where they were was a little wonky but I’ll give it to them this time.
Pilot Film (7)
That shit was wild i liked how jigen was introduced as the gunman and then beat the shit out of 3 police officers with his bare hands. also goemon i guess dedicates his life to killing lupin so thats fun, like he’s on zenigata’s side i guess. could’ve done with fujiko making an expression at any given time but yknow what? it was funny and it was only 12 minutes long
Another Page (7)
Surprisingly not that bad. To summarize the film as a whole I’d say: it could have been worse. The plot made sense which is more than i can say about most lupin movies and they stuck to two subplots that were both interesting and meshed pretty good by the end. And the two lady characters that got introduced didn’t betray anybody AND didn’t die.
Farewell to Nostradamus (6.5)
The animation was pretty good and I liked the whole ‘we gotta protect this kid’ thing but I always mix up this one and Bye Bye Liberty Crisis like this movie is it’s less interesting twin. Both of them have kids they need to protect but Bye Bye Liberty Crisis was just better. I feel like this one had a really good ending but aside from that the movie wasn’t that memorable for me.
Fuma Conspiracy (6.5)
i liked Goemon being in a relationship bc it was really sweet, i just wish there wouldve been a better balance of romance to plot. Also terrible voice actors but that just affected my enjoyment not really the plot or anything relevant.
Sweet Lost Night (6)
I like time shenanigans and my only two critiques are the inconsistent art quality and they seemed really hesitant to embrace time skipping. Like “he’s limited to twice before he becomes brain dead” was a little bit of a small window. If anything they missed out on a good opportunity for a classic lupin montage of him time skipping way too often. Maybe if they changed it to “you skip time every 12 hours, to every 6 hours, to every 3 hours, etc” until he stops existing?? like that seems more in line with a lupin plot not to mention a little more suspenseful.
Dead or Alive (6)
The new art style is kind of neat and didn’t really affect the personality of the characters like I thought it would. The plot itself was complicated and hard to follow but I mean, it wasn’t awful. Nothing I really hated and nothing I loved.
Jigen Daisuke’s Gravestone (6)
Handsome Jigen was cool but tcm i’m begging you to drink your Respect Women Juice. Also Goemon wasn’t in this one what the fuck was up with that. Lupin looked like a crispy toenail in the new art style but again the animation is gucci so I can’t really complain on that front.
Napoleon's Dictionary (6)
Reminded me a lot of Mamo except with more respect in women. Just kidding Fujiko was kind of a crapshoot in the end and the ending was more or less just. cut off?? like they crashed into the ocean after lupin ruined zenigatas marriage and the credits started rolling. it was weird bc it had a lot going but i guess they ran out of time for a proper ending?
Mystery of Mamo (6)
Respect Women Juice needed and also why was Goemon purple. The pros to this movie was the overall aesthetic being really attractive BUT the plot was sketchy and didn’t make a lot of sense. The only remarkable scene I remember is Jigen shooting the can by Lupin’s feet like I wish that emotion would’ve carried through the film and not ended there.
Red vs Green (5)
Really good animation, no fucking idea what happened in this film.
Walther P-38: Island of Assassins (5)
They missed an opportunity to be a little more psychological and the lady of the week dying was meh but I will say the plot stayed on course like they didnt try to do too much at once like they tend to do. I wish they would’ve delved more into lupin’s past with the doctor because that seemed kind of random but the more lethal, edgy plot was handled decently. I’ll probably forget this one in a week tbh.
Dragon of Doom (5)
I like learning more about Goemon but his girlfriend was really distracting and uneccessary. Like, if you want to introduce Goemon’s childhood friend sure its whatever but she only showed up to either threaten lupin or flirt with Goemon. And it was very obvious she was going to betray him so all her build up was pointless. I will say though, the plot was pretty cool which was surprising.
Voyage to Danger (4)
tcm I’m begging you to let Jigen talk to a woman and not have it be like ‘this is Jigens girlfriend now’. Sometimes women be talking and they aren’t thirsting for a man triple their age. It just be like that sometimes. Thats literally all I remember about this film.
First Contact (4)
I remember being excited for this like ‘oh wow their first ever meeting’ and i s2g this film was boring. And also a giant plothole. With no real redeeming qualities. I don’t even remember the animation being that good.
Columbus Files (4)
This film was at least funny bad but my hand to god I’d never watch it again. This is the first time I’ve ever watched a movie and had to watch the dub bc the sub was boring me to death. It was just... so bad... Especially when you’ve seen Wings of Death like this ain’t the Fujiko I know please leave.
Seven Days Rhapsody (3)
The comedy in this one was so weirdly incorporated and featured another really good ‘here’s Jigen’s dead girlfriend’ that i just could not care less about and then finished off with this what like 13 year old girl asking to be Lupin’s girlfriend? fuck outta here. The ONLY good part was Goemon slapping Lupin across the face.
Alcatraz Connection (2.5)
Really, really boring. The content wasn’t necessarily bad but they had 4 subplots going on that were equally uninteresting and some scenes went on for so so so long. It deadass took me 5 hours to watch this movie bc i kept pausing to do literally anything else. The art was unpleasant and by the time they got the treasure i didn’t really care anymore. Not to mention the plot was way too complicated and tin-foil hat for my liking.
Missed by a Dollar (2.5)
Made very little sense and in general was really annoying. Between Goemon being a born again Christian and the plot briefly derailing so Lupin could establish an oil company it was like can we pick something to focus on? By the end of the movie I was like wait when did they get the broach? What does the broach do again? And then he gives it to someone random and its like??
Gold of Babylon (2)
This one if the definition of being cursed and Pink Jacket deserved so much better than this nonsense. Like Lupin III isn’t known for its coherence, sure, but this movie had absolutely no structure. Upon finishing the film I was trying to remember anything that just happened and my brain refused. It kept the good cartoonish animation but god at what cost.
Angel Tactics (2)
TCM PLEASE DRINK YOUR RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. The art was just. Stunningly bad. Bad to the degree where about a minute thirty in I already regretted starting it. Not to mention the classic “we don’t actually wanna draw this part so we’re gonna jam cgi in here”. Also the most awkward use of “hey heres 3 women hey heres 3 men lets shove them together”.
Harimao’s Treasure (2)
nazis and transphobia which was extremely unfortunate considering the opening was actually one of the stronger ones I’ve seen from Lupin but immediately after the villain was introduced the quality of the film dropped about 90% and i wanted to die for the entire last half of the film. if they had changed the villain it would’ve solved 90 of their problems.
Twilight Gemini (2)
this was one of the only films in the entire lupin series where i was rooting for lupin to fucking perish. not only was goemon only in this film for 26 seconds, jigen was there for about 30 seconds and im not entirely sure if fujiko was there at all. not to be that guy but when they make lupin to be the most intolerable piece of shit in the world for this movie, don’t give him all the screen time. having to stare at this asshole for an hour and a half was exhausting.
Princess of the Breeze (2)
How a movie where Jigen has to carry a baby around in one of those funny baby-carriers turned out this fucking goddawful I have no explanation for. This movie was like an AU where all these other characters no one cares about happen to exist in the same universe as lupin. and when lupin does show up, i want him dead. Just horrifically boring and lazy art mixed with bad cgi. The only upside is that it isn’t Return of the Magician.
Return of the Magician (1)
I’m giving it a 1 on the principle that this wasn’t even a movie. It was a little less than an hour long and my god i’ve never seen a film so full of pad-time that if i can be so bold, there was more pad time than plot. What little plot they had made absolutely no sense and the art used cgi in the most bizarre and ugly ways. i’m pretty sure the credits played twice at the end. if there was a world record for lowest budget in a film, Return of the Magician would win hands down.
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lovehoperomance · 7 years
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Farewell to the boy who broke my heart. You will not break my will too.
You are the phantom limb I never asked for. There’s no physical connection, no tangible memory of you to hold onto. I’m holding onto a gap in my life and not what was there when you filled it. I can’t even tell myself I miss you because I know it’s not strictly true. How can you miss a ghost? How can you miss somebody who flitted in and out of your whenever it took their fancy? You showed me I was special. You showed me I was worthy of your protection, your understanding. You took a lonely and distant non-believer and you turned her into a star just waiting to ignite. You gave me what no one had given in my life, you gave me a place to lay my thoughts down, no holds barred. A place where they would be safe and held dear until I was ready to return to them again. That place was with you. Those thoughts belonged to the two of us and the midnight conversations we had, the essays you cherished and the words you gave me, so simple, so perfect. As if you understood the pain that bled from my fingertips into my phone.  I gave you my soul and in return, you gave me your acceptance.
I can’t say you were my first love and I definitely wasn’t yours but there was something that drew us back to each other time and again. When I had long removed faith from my body and done away with trust, you installed it anew. When you had reached the end of your tether and decided you had no need of me anymore, I showed you how bright I could shine. I showed you how strong I could be when you needed me most. You weren’t in awe of me often but when you were, those were the moments I felt most alive.
Your music lived within me, your name was a constant promise on my lips. I thought we had a fate written in the stars and someday when everything aligned, you’d finally be mine the same way I’d always been yours. I used to think it was chemistry that held us together. We burned brighter than the sun in ways that no one else could see. We were the social outcasts, the isolated, the ones you invite to the party but never draw into the centre. We painted happiness on our downturned lips and found ourselves walking through life with fear controlling our steps. You understood it. The panic. The warped idea of self-worth. The guilt. You gave me a reason to get up, to get going. You showed me that I am a mystery to be unfolded, a pleasure to be enjoyed privately and not publicly the way I’d always dreamed. You told me which boys were worth my time and which ones weren’t. You valiantly offered to defend my honour once or twice and once or twice I misconstrued your actions as jealousy.
You were jealous. Once. The one time I found my wings and gently unfurled them. You saw the potential, the brightness of my being in its full capacity and you wanted. But cowardice shows itself in many ways and yours shone that very year. You took a vow of silence and broke it just in time to break my heart. “Someday” you told me as you admitted you’d moved on. As if you too believed that someday our fates would be just right, that eventually the time for us would arrive. I buried that promise in my garden and watered it every day for years, hoping against hope that if I just held on, if I just believed in the tiniest bud of potential, someday it would sprout leaves. Someday the sun would shine down upon it and it would finally grow.
But you kept me there, in your greenhouse prison, where nothing lived and nothing died, for years at a time. You never let go of my hand but you could never really seem to hold onto it either. I was your corpse of a bride, your ghost, wasting away at your side, waiting for you to come back and unearth me. Waiting for you to pull me out from beneath the new life you’d buried me under.
The first time I looked at you, I thought “nothing special.” I guess it set a precedent for us. I was wrong then and I was wrong when I thought you’d always keep me safe from harm. You protected me from everyone but yourself. It’s been three months since I told you goodbye for good and sometimes when I think on it really hard, I feel like my world has frosted over. But that’s the thing. I don’t miss you in the mornings, I don’t miss you in the afternoons. I miss you when it’s dark and quiet, when all that’s left are the thoughts I just can’t seem to run from.  And so I wonder if it’s you that I miss or the way that you made me feel.
Because you weren’t real to me, you couldn’t have been. The same way I never was to you. I spent my time avoiding your eyes, scared of what I might find there and you spent that time looking straight through me. You were my best friend in some ways, my biggest heartbreak in others but mostly, you were the first and only boy I ever trusted with the real me. The unfiltered, unedited, unapologetic me. You saw my insecurities and you watched me shed them. You heard my cries and saw my heart break way too many times to pretend that I wasn’t anything apart from irreversibly broken.
Once upon a time, a child masquerading as a woman thought that that might make you love me more, that it might make you love me the most in the end. I was fifty shakes of fucked up but so were you and I never pretended to be anything else. I was a train, almost always derailed but I got back on the tracks every time you came into view. I wanted to be someone who could inspire you, I didn’t want to be another woman in your life who drained of your vigour.
I guess, deep down I thought you could love someone with mercy, that you could love them just because they deserved it and it’s taken me this long to admit that I did; I do. I made myself the support person you needed me to be and I drained away the parts of myself that pushed you away in the beginning. I forgave you your faults and I tried to forget the ways you neglected me. I held onto that little bud of a plant, that hope of ‘someday’ and I became a better friend for it. To prove to you and perhaps to myself that falling in love with a hopeless friend isn’t so hopeless after all. I deserved your love, your attention and every moment I ever imagined in my head. I was good, I was kind and all I ever asked for in return was that you care. Even if, god forbid, it wasn’t anything close to what I was willing to do for you.
But I was your ghost and you were my phantom and we were never going to finish this tragedy with a transformative kiss. You always burned more brightly than me, you learned to find confidence in exactly where you stood. I’m not there yet, maybe I never will be but I didn’t have a hope of being anything so long as I was content to stay your corpse bride and your back up. I remember the day I sent you that message. My tears were a pulse in my neck, my regret was already stinging my eyes and still, through shaking fingers and a heavy heart, I said the last words I will ever say to you and your soul. The last words your eyes would ever read from me.
The first message I ever sent you was a risk and thankfully I reaped the rewards. I saw you through a bunch of girlfriends I wanted to eject the moment they entered your life and you saw me through many crises, the worst of them being the ones that began within me. We were each other’s first something, I hope. You were my first friendship without pretence and I hope I was yours. We never apologised for who we were or what we brought to the table, only the way it sometimes made each of us feel.
I remember the first time I realised I could fall in love with you. You were sitting on my couch, not even talking to me at that moment in time and I was completely enchanted. I’d only ever cared about boys because they cared about me. You, you were the only one that I cared about because you didn’t. You were kind to me, not because you wanted something of me, not because I was your only option but because you truly thought I deserved it. You saw me as worthy but when I knew you, I rarely felt like I was.
You were nothing to me in this world, in the one that everybody else lives in. No one else knows quite what we meant to each other. But in our world, in the one we shared together, we were a force to be reckoned with. I’m so glad I knew you. The boy with a heart of gold who gave it away too quickly, too easily and never asked for it back. But I’m so glad I lost you. The boy who drained me like sap from a tree, taking and taking until nothing but the barest bones were left. I’m so glad I gave you up. The boy who broke my heart. You are a blackened piece of my soul and there are pieces of it falling away every day, like ash fluttering out of a fire. You saw me shed my insecurities, only now you’re not around to see me shed you. Someday, you said and you were right. Someday the fates will align and I’ll meet the boy who fills my greenhouse with light. The boy whose light sinks right into my skin and finally allows me to ignite. You were a lie but I’ll wait for my promise. I know it’s just around the corner. Don’t look back, I remember thinking, as I told you goodbye and I thank god that I never did. My life is a stunning love story. It’s a success story you’ll never get the chance to be part of again. Farewell, my dear friend.
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