#i was a child before now still one but with trauma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkthrone445 · 21 hours

Text

-Let it burn to the ground- Part 2

Part 1

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender:love, hurt, confort, funny, smut

Warnings:Mention about past trauma, fires, SEX! SEX YOUR SINFUL SOULS

Summary:Melissa lets the fire of love consume her when she meets the new chief of the fire station. And then she musters up the courage to take you on a date.

Your phone rang with a notification while you were lying down watching TV. Today was your day off and after dropping your child off at school and going to the gym, you came home to watch TV and get some rest. You wiped your hand full of Doritos powder on a napkin and took your cell phone

-🔥Miss Schementti🔥:"Hello chief, I hope that you are enjoying your day off... I'm exited about tonight..."-The redhead had sent you a message and you stared at your phone for a few seconds. While you had accepted the invitation the day before, it had been a while since you had a date and now you were questioning whether this was the right decision.

Your fingers danced on the keyboard without touching any keys while you chewed your lip, wondering what the appropriate response would be. Your cell phone vibrated again

-🔥Miss Schementti🔥:"I must warn you that I am not a person who eats little, not even in first dates, so do not get scared when you see me ask for another portion or two, you've been warned..."-The message made you laugh imagining her eating and the answer came naturally.

-You:"I get it, you don't have to worry, I'm also a big eater. In my childhood my nana taught me that if there was still room to breathe, there was room for food. Now I know how to stop when I'm satisfied, but it's not easy to get to that point either..."-You replied with a smile and your fingers danced again on the keyboard and then sent another message

-You:"Excited for tonight too... But I haven't played the dating game in a long time, be gentle with me please" - Your heart pounded from the nerves of admitting that, the bubbles that the redhead was writing seemed on screen for a few seconds and then disappeared. When 30 minutes went by without an answer, you questioned again if this date was a good idea. After a few more minutes, your cell phone rang again

-🔥Melissa Schemmenti🔥: "Sorry Chief, a kid put a bean in his nose and it got stuck and we had to go to the nurse, I even thought about calling you to come to the rescue, but I didn't wanted to bother you on your day off... Don't worry about tonight, we'll let things flow, step by step. I promise"-The message calmed you down somehow, and you decided to go through your closet to see what you would be wearing that night.

Later that day, you took your car and drove to pick up your son. As you waited for her class to come out, Melissa came up to you smiling and adjusting her jacket

-"Hey Chief..."-The redhead whispered, lengthening the vowels in a seductive tone

-"Hey Miss Schementti... Where are you taking me tonight?" - You consulted smiling watching as the redhead adjusted the jacket to her body because it was a little cold

-"It's a surprise... One that I hope you like and enjoy... Will you bring your child? He is welcome if you want..."-She whispered a little nervously and embarrassed

"No, he's going to stay at his aunt's house... Do you want me to pick you up tonight?" - You offered, and she nodded, smiling. The truth is that you offered to pick her up because if the date went wrong, you weren't the one who depended on her taking you home.

-"Mama!" - Your little one ran to you and you lifted him up holding him tight to your chest, while Mel couldn't help but watch the way your arms twitched

-"Hola baby" - You spoke and he smiled hiding in your neck-"How did school go?"

-"Good! We are learning cursive! I can write a letter now" - He commented and you laughed tenderly

-"I'm sure you can, son... Let's go home for lunch and then you have to visit your aunt, your abu and your cousins for sleepover" - You commented, and the little guy smiled excitedly-"See you later Schementti..."- You answered with a smile and walked to your car.

After dropping your son off with the family, you got dressed with the casual suit you choose and decided to drive to pick up the redhead.

When you arrived to her address, you got out of your car and knocked on her door gently, almost immediately Mel opened it

-"Wow Chief...Hi, sorry... I never thought you'd look better than wearing your firefighter uniform, but you're amazing right now with that suit..."-She whispered silly looking at you and you laughed

-"Hi Schementti... You look very good too with your dress... I love your leather jackets they hug you body so perfectly" - You commented before you could hold you back-"Ready?" - You murmured and opened the door of the car for her. The redhead smiled and climbed up carefully, letting you close it.

While at first you were very nervous as you had lost the practice of meeting people and dating, on your date with the redhead you felt an instant connection and everything went smoothly, she took you to a nice place with good food and entertaining music. The tables had some board games which you decided to use and have some fun.

While you beat her up by playing uno, the redhead took the opportunity to know and learn more about you

-"So...why do you say you've lost the practice of going out? You are a beautiful and attractive woman, not to mention that you are very hot and brave... I don't think you're short of opportunities where people will ask you out on dates..."-She asked, lifting the 12 cards from the deck that had accumulated with the draw 4

-" It's not that... It's just that since my husband passed away, it was difficult to get my life back on track... I didn't just want to have sex with someone I have no conetion with, aside from the fact that it's hard to do it because I live with my son, and I couldn't find anyone who would catch my eye to have a relationship with... Nobody wants to date you when you have a child like in my case, so it's been two and a half years since I've dated anyone or had sex in that time... You're the first person I've dated since he passed away..."-You muttered a little embarrassed to admit it out loud-" I know it's been a long time since I've had sex, but between work and my son I'm pretty busy and I don't have much time to think about it..."

-"I'm flattered that you chose me to go on your first date after so long..."-she replied and you rolled your eyes

-"Please don't make fun of it... It's embarrassing enough as it is..."-You replied blushing and she smiled as she took your hand on the table

-"I'm not making fun of it, I'm really flattered by it. It means that you did feel a connection with me, like the one I feel with you from the first time I saw you..."-The redhead responded by kissing your hand and you smiled looking into her eyes as you got close to her

-"Thank you Mel..."-You whispered close to her lips laughing and dropped a +4-"UNO, I chose red, I win"-You spoke almost close to her lips and laughed pulling away from her

-"That's cheating! You got me distracted!" - The redhead screamed annoyed because she didn't liked to lose and you laughed

-"Everything is valid in games and love..."-You answered and she rolled her eyes

-"Do you want to go dancing? Before you keep kicking my ass at board games..."-She offered and you nodded still laughing

The rest of the night you talked more and danced together, having a beautiful time together. You were really surprised by the connection you felt with her...

When it got late, you drove to her house to get her to safety, while you let the conversation flow.

When you parked at her door, you got out and opened the car for her and escorted her to her entrance

-"I really had a nice time... Thank you for being patient with me... I was scared, but now I feel really happy..."-You whispered looking into her eyes and she opened the door for you

-"Want to come in for a coffee? I don't want this to end yet..."-she offered and you nodded.

When you entered, while she was making coffee, you took advantage and observed a little bit of her house and the photos on the wall smiling, you liked that Mel was a family woman. Her house was quaint and well-kept, somehow the house suited her.

When the coffee was ready, the two sat down on the couch letting the television gently play in the background

-"And you? How about your dating life? You looked so calm tonight, like you had practice..."-You asked while tasting the amazing coffee, somehow the taste reminded you of your home when you were little, which relaxed you and made you feel happy and calm

-"I was married for a long time... When I broke up it was hard for me to get back in the game, but when I did, I started dating a man, but we didn't have the same goals, so I decided to end that relationship... Then I had casual sex a couple of times..." - She muttered embarrassedly not wanting to admit that it was with someone you knew, she didn't know how you were going to take it

-" I know that, with the captain of the station I was sent to take care of"-You replied and she raised her eyebrows surprised and a little embarrassed-"I know everything that happens at my station, it's not for nothing that I'm the Chief" - You replied and she smiled when she saw that you didn't take it the wrong way

-"Yes, with him... Don't make me embarrassed by making fun of it" - she muttered, hiding her face in her hands and you laughed

-"I won't make fun of it, if I'd gone out with him I'd have a lifetime of remorse just think about it and I think that's enough for you, you don't need me to make fun of it to feel embarrassment" - You joked and she slapped your shoulder laughing. Her hand didn't move away from your arm, but gripped it tighter

-"Wow... You are very strong... Look how firm is your arm..."-She murmured in a seductive tone and you blushed-"Do you think you can lift me up?" - she asked and you nodded-"Can we try?"

-"Sure" - You carefully set your cup down on the table and grabbed her waist, your hands fitting perfectly as if they belonged there and her skin was comfortably warm. Forcefully but without getting up from the couch, you picked up the redhead with ease and sat her on your lap again. Immediately Mel spread her legs, straddling on your lap comfortably, smiling very big

-"Wow, that turn me on in a hundred different ways" - The redhead said without thinking and you laughed looking at her lips

-"You are a gorgeous and funny woman" - You whispered, smiling without taking your hands off her waist, caressing the skin that the blouse had revealed as she stood up a little. Mel's excited smile changed to a softer one and her gaze also turned to your lips, leaning slightly millimeters from your lips. Although you didn't want to admit it, you felt so nervous to do this, you weren't even sure about going on a date on the first place, and now she was sitting on your lap about to kiss you. Was that right? Or was it all going too fast? Even your angels of good and evil must have been frightened, for not a word of your conscience occupied your mind. Without realizing it, you connected your lips to her. A sigh left your mouth when you felt her close, if her skin was soft, her lips were like a clowd, round, soft and filled, perfect

The kiss at first was slow, but after a few seconds it became deep and hard, shaking you and making your heart beat very hard, your hands squeezed her waist tighter as you felt short of breath, making the redhead moan softly

-"Let's go to my room" - She muttered quickly to kiss you again, you nodded and got up from the couch, grabbing the redhead's ass to lift her with you, she immediately wrapped her legs around your waist, gently kissing your neck as you climbed the stairs carrying her.

Her kisses on your neck clouded your senses, even blurred your vision and your breathing ragged. Upon entering the room, you closed the door with your feet and left the redhead on the bed, admiring the sight of her slightly disheveled clothes and tousled hair, her breathing was ragged, and her chest bounced gently with each breath

-"Do you have a strap or you want my fingers?" - The question took the redhead by surprise, but she'd be lying if it didn't make her more excited. With her hands she pointed to her nightstand, which you opened to find a purple dildo in a delicate leather strap.

-"I want everything" - She responded agitated and excited. Smiling, you took it with one hand as you peeled off your pants and kicked them to the ground, with that same hand you opened your shirt but without taking it off. With hands a little shaky with excitement or nerves, you placed the strap on your hips on top of your underwear, it was delicately clean and smelled like raspberry. When you turn, your knees almost buckle when you saw the redhead waiting for you in bed with only her underwear on, with a red bra and panties that matched, kneeling and sitting on her legs, staring at you smiling.

The redhead's gaze swept over your face, your breasts, your abdomen and the way your crotch hid behind the strap on your hips. She had to force herself to close her mouth to avoid drooling.

You delicately rested one of your knees on the bed to reconnect your lips on hers, placing your hand on the nape of the redhead's neck to gently pull her hair making her lie on the bed without taking your lips off hers.

You gently sucked her lip into your mouth, making her moan and taking the opportunity to claim her mouth with your tongue, battling for dominance and winning easily as the redhead was overstimulated just by having you there wearing her strap.

Your kisses slowly moved down from her lips to her jaw, alternating between kisses and gentle bites as you let your leg slip to the redhead's crotch, generating gentle friction and pressure making her moan. Mel took your hair in her hands and pulled it a little, needing a little touch to ground her, especially when you started biting her collarbone and went down to her breasts biting the part that the bra showed. She inadvertently began to move her hips against your leg, desperately looking for more friction, but a frustrated moan left her lips as you firmly grasped her hip, letting her press on your leg but not rub against it.

When you began to feel her wetness on your leg, you quickly stripped off what little underwear she had left on her body, admiring for a second her complete nakedness. You smiled and kissed her forehead and then her lips again going slowly down.

Your lips found her nipple sucking hard as your life depended on it, alternating between gentle, delicate sucks to firm licks with a few bites.

When you finished giving both breasts their attention, you kissed her deeply again as you replaced your leg with your hip, letting the dildo rub against her crotch, which was already very wet and slippery, but not entering her yet.

Your hand went down to her crotch to check if it was really wet enough to go in, when you felt her swollen and wet cliroris on the top of your fingers, you moaned on her lips at such perfection. You gently began stroking it with your index finger as you guided the strap to her entrance, enjoying every moan and sigh that the redhead let out into your mouth.

When you were well positioned and sure you wouldn't hurt her, you pushed in slowly, pulling away from her lips to watch as her body slowly hugged and took every inch you offered her. Your gaze wandered for a second to watch as the redhead squeezed the sheets with one of her hands while with the other she desperately squeezed and pinched her breasts, letting out a couple of profanities with your name included in a few of them.

When the strap went all the way in and your hip connected with hers, it was your turn to let out insults, that woman was a wish come true with how beautiful and sexy she looked open like that.

Gently you placed yourself back on top of her, kissing her vigorously as you slowly pulled the strap back as your finger gently twirled over her cliroris. You tried to stay calm and slow down for a few minutes, but when the redhead started to shake and breath heavily and the sounds of how wet she was reached your ears, you couldn't hold back for much longer.

Both of your hands went to her hip and you started to go faster, with short but deep thrusts. Watching how her breasts bounce, her hair brushed against the pillow and tousled it and her mouth was slightly open trying to breathe with each thrust you gave it.

One of your hands grabbed the woman's leg and you placed it on your shoulder, giving you a new angle and more strength to lunge. For her age, it was surprisingly flexible, allowing you to bend down a bit to get to kiss her shoulder.

Mel pressed down on your back with her leg, digging her heel into your back and pulling you deeper into her.

You started kissing her thigh which was close to your face and giving her gentle bites and marks.

Mel began to breathe more heavily, and to move her hips erratically and desperately, moaning almost like a pornographic movie. Your thrusts became desperate as well when you saw that she was close, squeezing her hips with one of your hands, taking advantage of hearing the slapping sound every time your skin collided with hers and the wet sound of her juices coating the toy and your legs.

In a matter of seconds, as your fingers gently pinched the redhead's clit, Mel's body began to shake uncontrollably as one of the strongest orgasms of her life took over her entire body, from the tips of her toes to her head, she felt as if she had been struck by lightning and every millimeter of her body was charged with electricity.

For a few seconds, the redhead contracted so hard that she caught the dildo inside her and your hips collided with her so hard that, you didn't know if it was because you hadn't been with someone for years or because just looking at the redhead naked was enough to reach your breaking point, but a surprising and strong orgasm came in your body too, feeling your juices dripping down your legs and leaving you exhausted and lost for a few seconds.

When the redhead's walls relaxed, you removed the toy from her, detaching it from your body and throwing it on the floor. Agitated, you lay down next to her and grabbed her waist, pulling her to you and hugging her against your body protectively.

-"That was..."-It was the only thing the redhead managed to formulate between her agitated breathing

-"Amazing" - You whispered, kissing her forehead. Before either of you could say more, a sleppy blanket took you both by surprise, making you sleep in each other's arms .

The next morning, the redhead woke up with pain all over her body but happiness covering all her thoughts. But when she turned in bed and saw no sign of your presence there or in the house, a feeling of sadness took her by surprise, a feeling that grew when she texted you over the next few days and you didn't answer, see her or call her again.

You disappeared completely, you didn't even pick up your son from school and you always sent someone else for him to avoid seeing her and the redhead didn't understand why. She thought everything had gone well, even perfect, but apparently she was wrong.

#abbott elementary #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary fanfic #abott elementary #abott elementary fanfic #lissa ann walter #lisa ann walter fanfic #lesbian #melissa schemmenti abott elementary #abbot elementary #melissa schemmenti smut #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa ann schemmenti #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #pinkthrone445

99 notes · View notes

griffintail2 · 3 days

Text

Wolf in Duck's Clothing (Part 4)

Summary: A small child sinner tries to navigate her way through Hell.

Pairings: Lucifer x Child!GN!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Implied Trauma, Implied Past Bad Caretaker

<<First <Last -- Next>

A/N: Omg there's so many of you enjoying-- Thank you for the love and I hope you keep enjoying!

And-And he tried to work on his project while his mind was still muddled. But he realized he was still focused on the child when he noticed his duck had wolf ears now.

“Fuck.” He put his head in his hands.

Why did he care? Why were they stuck in his head? He’s never cared about a sinner before! He even knew there were children sinners! But this one…this one was stuck in his head. And fuck! He cared…he cared if the kid was ok.

It was messing with his head! He’d asked them for their name, he comforted them, and he even gave them his place to stay even if it was temporary! He shouldn’t care, they’re just another sinner…

But that felt wrong to think. He cursed to himself as he paced in his workshop. It was another day, he had little sleep (which was normal but it felt distressing right now) and he couldn’t understand his own mind.

He took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair.

Fine, ok. He’ll just show himself! He’ll show himself what he’ll get if he shows the sinner kindness. Remind himself what sinners were all about. You give them an inch, they’ll take the mile.

So, he put his care forward and was ready to let it be shattered, just like every other time…

The child came to the kitchen to get food in the morning, frowning in confusion when they saw Lucifer in there, humming to himself as he was cooking.

“…Good morning.” They muttered.

He looked over, smiling at them. “Hey, I hope you like pancakes.”

They watched him carefully, shifting nervously. It was his home so of course he could come out. They just weren’t ready for this.

“I think so.” They nodded.

Lucifer noticed their ears pointing back as their tail wrapped close to them, and he frowned softly at their response.

“Well, come sit down they’re almost done.”

They hesitated for a moment before coming to sit in the chair at the dining table. Lucifer nodded before he went back to the food in front of him.

“Did you get some more sleep?”

“Yes.”

“Good, good.” He nodded as he put a pancake on top of a small stack, bringing it over to them. “I figured after last night you should get a good breakfast.”

“Thank you…” They tilted their head as they looked at the food as he went to grab his own food. “Do you need something?”

Lucifer frowned as he looked back at the sinner. “No?”

They simply watched him for a moment before humming and turning back to the food, picking up a fork. “Ok.”

…What? He watched the sinner confused. They were a bit of an odd one for sure.

“OK then.” He muttered before grabbing his plate and sitting at the table with them.

It was silent besides the scraping of forks and knives on plates. He was always terrible at small talk. He could put on a big show sure! But he wasn’t very good at simple socializing, especially after being a shut-in for the past few years. It didn’t really help the inability to small talk with that.

He looked around the kitchen, trying to think of anything to say. It was spotless in here other than the small mess he’d just made. Pausing, he thought of something to say.

“What have you been doing around here?” He asked.

They looked up, putting an arm over their mouth as they swallowed. So, they had pretty decent manners for a child.

“Cleaning.” They answered.

He waited for more but they just sat there, tail slowly swishing behind them.

“Wait, wait. You’ve only been cleaning since you’ve been here?”

They nodded snout scrunching up slightly. “The dust kept making me sneeze. And it needed to be cleaned.”

“So, you haven’t been…playing or reading? Anything like that?”

“…I’m not supposed to touch anything I don’t need to.” They shifted in their seat. “And I only need to when I clean.”

Damn it Lucifer.

He hung his head for a moment forming words before he looked up and put his hands on the table.

“You don’t have to clean. That’s not your job, this isn’t even your house.” He told them. “I appreciate it, but you don’t need to do that. Look, let’s change that rule. You can touch things when you want, you just can’t take it from the house. Ok?”

They sat there, taking it in before nodding. “Ok.”

“Great.” He took a breath. “You know, I say what have you been doing, I guess I don’t have much for you to do other than read. You can read right?” They nodded and he nodded as well. “While that’s good, it wouldn’t be fun all the time…hm…Alright. Finish your breakfast then I’m going to show you something.”

They continued eating with that and he watched them carefully. He should have been clearer about his rule, but he didn’t think they’d take it that way. Strange kid.

The pair of them finished their food and he put the plates in the sinks. He’ll…probably come back to clean them later. He led the child down the halls, their ears pointed back and their arms behind them as they followed behind him. With a grand bow, he opened the door to his workshop, grinning as the little one giggled.

“This is where I do my work.” He motioned for them to come in. “And…my more personal projects. But, the reason we’re here. You can take one duck from any pile, except that one.” He pointed to one closer to his desk. “Those ones are more dangerous.”

The child came in, their eyes lighting up at all the colorful little things. They came in such a variety. They’d never seen so many colors in one room either, especially such beautiful bright ones. Their ears perked up in delight as their tail started to wag. Going towards one of the safe piles, they went to touch but stopped, hesitating as they looked at him.

Lucifer, himself, wasn’t able to help the soft smile as he watched the wonder and joy in the child’s eyes. No one had been so excited to see his ducks in years. Charlie used to love them when she was younger, but she’d grown. Not as enthused. But the little one was enthralled by them all.

“You can look through them.” He encouraged.

“…they’re all yours?” They asked him.

“Yes, but like I said. You can choose one for yourself.”

They retracted their hand though. “I can’t take your things. That’s wrong.”

“What have you been doing around here?” He asked.

They looked up, putting an arm over their mouth as they swallowed. So, they had pretty decent manners for a child.

“Cleaning.” They answered.

He waited for more but they just sat there, tail slowly swishing behind them.

“Wait, wait. You’ve only been cleaning since you’ve been here?”

They nodded snout scrunching up slightly. “The dust kept making me sneeze. And it needed to be cleaned.”

“So, you haven’t been…playing or reading? Anything like that?”

“…I’m not supposed to touch anything I don’t need to.” They shifted in their seat. “And I only need to when I clean.”

Damn it Lucifer.

He hung his head for a moment forming words before he looked up and put his hands on the table.

They sat there, taking it in before nodding. “Ok.”

They continued eating with that and he watched them carefully. He should have been clearer about his rule, but he didn’t think they’d take it that way. Strange kid.

“You can look through them.” He encouraged.

“…they’re all yours?” They asked him.

“Yes, but like I said. You can choose one for yourself.”

They retracted their hand though. “I can’t take your things. That’s wrong.

He laughed softly. “It’s not, I’m giving you one. You need something to play with. These are perfect.”

They looked at the pile, shifting slightly, clearly wanting to just go in. He couldn’t understand why they weren’t though.

“What do I give?” They asked, looking away from the temptation and back to him.

He frowned. “Nothing?”

“But you’re giving. I need to give back. That’s how it works.”

He still held his frown as he came over crouching in front of them. “No, this is a gift. You don’t give anything for a gift.”

“…Gift?”

He chuckled quietly thinking it a joke…but the child tilted their head in confusion. He stood in his crouched position for a moment before sitting cross-legged in front of them.

“Yeah, a gift. Things you get on birthdays and holidays. You know?” He waved his hand, but their ears went flat as they looked frustrated by their own confusion. “…Has no one ever given you a gift?”

“…no, I don’t think so.”

He let out a humorless laugh of disbelief. “Who was taking care of you before?”

That question got him closed out as they wrapped their tail close and clasped their hands together as they looked down. He sighed deeply as he tapped his hands against his legs.

Ok. Ok. A lot of things were starting to make sense.

“Ok, let me see your hand little one.” He held his hand out to them palm out.

They hesitated as they stared at his hand. Cautiously, they put their hand in his.

“Palm up.” He told them gently as he looked over to the pile of ducks, looking over it carefully.

They silently followed his instructions as he saw a cute little duck wearing a little fishing hat and holding a fishing hook (That actually reeled in! But that’s not what matters right now.). He took it into his free hand before he put the little duck in their hand. Carefully, he had them close their hand around it gently.

“This is yours. It’s a gift from me to you. A gift means you don’t give me anything. It’s yours to enjoy and do whatever you like with it. It’s yours.” He emphasized as he put one hand carefully on their shoulder.

His hand let go of theirs and their hand shook slightly.

“And, I want to gift you a few more, make up for all the gifts everyone should have been giving you.” He smiled gently. “But I want you to pick the ones you like instead. Sound good?”

“You promise?” They muttered instead.

“Promise what?” He asked.

“It’s mine?” They looked up at him with misty eyes.

He smiled sadly as he gently put a hand on their cheek. “I promise. I won’t let anyone take them away from you.”

They let out a quiet whimper and he sighed as he gently pulled them forward and into a hug. He gently pet the top of their head and instead of hugging him, they hugged their gift close.

“You’ll be alright now little one.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist! (Comment or message me to be included) - @m-m-e-d-u-s-a - @legostars - @sarah-dreemurr-magne - @ringsofpersonti - @kisskisskys - @mysterypotatoink - @amberforest08 - @type-ink - @nagi3seastorm - @sunmizuiro - @lonelysimp18

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #child reader #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer hazbin hotel

121 notes · View notes

powerpuffobsession · 12 hours

Text

I don't like Vaggie getting retconned into an angel

(This one is more of a personal opinion/complaint/vent. I'm just trying to analyze why exactly I dislike this plot change. Viewer discretion is adviced)

When the leaks first said that would happen, I chose to believe it was fake until the very last second. I remember even denying it in my mind when I started watching season 1, hoping that they haven't implemented such a change....

Because the sinner Vaggie premise had so many interesting possibilities - of making her a person, someone interesting on her own, when separated from Charlie

Her sex worker past (meaning the incoming bonding with Angel Dust over shared trauma), her life in El Salvador, her death age that was supposed to be very young (early 20s dead in 2014) contrasting the other hotel residents exept for Niffty (who's from 50s), an interesting dynamic with Charlie where a human sinner gets together with an ancient demon princess - we were promised all of that.

The fandom built plenty of fancontent on the "sinner Vaggie" basis and got used to it. Not many expected an angel Vaggie, and I remember a lot of people saying that would be too obvious and boring and that that wouldn't happen

And in reality, it turned out to be even worse, in my opinion. Now Vaggie is literally one of the faceless Barbie dolls mass produced by Adam. She's so unimportant in-universe, she got broken and thrown away when she was no longer in use. Very symbolic, don't you think?

Her boss, Adam, is objectively more interesting than she is now! By becoming his inferior, Vaggie lost her miniscule interesting features in favour of being outshined by a male character! The one who mistreated her too. So typical... never change since the pilot era

To add salt to the injury, we learned that Vaggie IS in fact, short for Vagina, and that this "charming" name was given her by Adam, the sexist murderous pig! And she kept that name, as if actually liking it! Great!

(Vaggie being short for Vagatha was still unpleasant because Vivzie's dumb humour was obvious through and through, but a lot less offensive than what we actually got)

(And wow thanks a lot for that Vagatha joke with Sir Pentious. Way to mock the viewers by accentuating what was lost)

Also, Vaggie has basically no backstory now - "she was a murderer, then BAM she's not a murderer anymore, and out of nowhere she became a love interest for the main character". And her sparing a child was honestly such a cheap attempt at pulling at the viewer's heartstrings... why did she spend so many years murdering everyone in her way (making her the most effective exorcist, according to Adam himself!) but suddenly decided not to kill a child sinner? Were there no other child sinners before that one? Besides, it's hell, girl! That child could have drove his peer to suicide or killed animals for all we know!

And we are seriously supposed to care about a character who was a boring basic warrior intended for mass murdering just a while ago? Sure, that cliche can actually work with the right portrayal, but not like this! (Personally, I really felt my interest to Vaggie drop when the angel plot twist was revealed, it was like a cold shower)

That leaves Vaggie no choices of showing any personality whatsoever other than clinging to Charlie and having every moment of her life revolve around being with the princess, loving her and helping her. No thoughts, hobbies, world views and goals of her own. Come on, that's so bland!

Vaggie basically just changed one owner to another - from Adam to Charlie, to completely dissolve in their needs and wants instead of devoting some time to her own (which she can't have because she was born as a slave - that is if exorcists are created by Adam)

I feel like I shouldn't complain. I want to believe that if angel Vaggie was given time and space to develop, I'd like her, but really no... the very idea of making her part of Heaven was still-born to begin with, given the nature of hazbin hotel. This cartoon shot itself in the foot with an awful pacing. In the light of that, making Vaggie a significant part of a plotline that had no time to shine was a choice to avoid

And angel Vaggie should have stayed an urban legend in the fandom instead of making it into the show. I feel sad that for me Vaggie was ruined as Hazbin Hotel's aspect I could have enjoyed

I hope she at least gets more interesting interactions with Charlie and other characters in season 2. The ones in season 1 were not so bad, even if they're not the ones I wanted. And I'm still going to love Vaggie out of habit even if she's not the same anymore. Maybe I'll come around and start loving her as an angel eventually 🤞

P.S. why did they change the delicate white colour of her dress and the light pink colour of her bow to bright red shirt and bow? If she's a angel, wouldn't it have made more sense for her to be wearing pallette that has a bit of white in it to make her stand out? Even in that regard a questionable decision was made, dear god...

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #anti angel vaggie

32 notes · View notes

coulsonlives · 8 months

Text

I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.

#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill #i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending #i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months #and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc #the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too #it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations #but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities #and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy #like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists #and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child #where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either #or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers #they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for #(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help #but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking #one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties #the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies #but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo #aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam #did #dissociative identity disorder #osdd #ddnos #munchausen syndrome #mass psychogenic illness #ableism

15 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 1 year

Text

“maybe if i, an 8yr old, managed to talk sense into my groomed and deeply traumatised 13yr old brother, maybe he wouldn’t have accidentally almost killed himself and become a villain” and no one in that room disagreed with him??

#none of them?#not one of them went hey maybe it wasnt on us literal children to try and help him?#this is where the endeavour redemption completely lost me #it was as well written as it could be up until this point #natsu still hating him fuyumis trauma response of lets just bury everything and be a normal family shoutos conditional forgiveness #especially when endeavour said ill buy you all a house and you never have to see me again #i could live with that. i hate it (make him face a lasting consequence for the love of god) but i could live with it #he doesnt deserve forgiveness and he deserves every ounce of emotional pain hes experiencing bc holy shit he irrevocably ruined five lives #but then they really turned around and said yeah us victims share the blame for how touya turned out #what the fuck #reis level of blame is debatable since even if she was mentally stable she was still always in the mindset of hey this guy Bought Me #and his continued Buying Me will fund my parents who Sold Me to him #even before any anbuse happened she was never going to be able to stand up to him #endeavour groomed touya just like afo did with shigaraki except even worse bc it happened from day dot #then he completely cut him off from the thing he groomed him to be and dumped him on rei until he got the child he wanted #dabi was never anything but endeavours fault and the fact that the narrative is trying to make them all share the blame #and frame it as a see endeavour when we all share fault and support you isnt it easier for you? cant you stand up and solve the problem now?#its the most classic victim blaming ive ever seen and were supposed to just take it and be like aw theyre facing dabi as a family #fuck off #and even then he still freezes and makes shouto fight dabi #you cant do it so i the 16yr old you also abused will fight my brother the kid you drove to accidental suicide for you #and when he finally gets over himself (after shouto is nearly killed dont forget that) and decides hes finally strong enough to fight him #were supposed to cheer that moment?#yay hes finally going to look at touya! were the fuck was he an hour ago cause he aint done shit against afo #the family needs to share blame and support him so he can face the blame and support himself fuck off #go beyond plus ultra #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #endeavour #dabi #todoroki shouto

32 notes · View notes

bo0zey · 2 years

Text

every time my dad yells even if he’s just “raising” his voice to call one of my brothers over to him i flinch and my heart rate speeds up n my stomach drops n churns n i feel sick n if i think abt it too much like i am now my eyes sting just slightly like something inside me wants to cry from fear even tho i’m many many feet away safe inside my room alone w the door shut i still feel so so unsafe and it takes many many minutes and moments for me to calm down again i really hate this reaction i’m 22 years old why am i still responding like this trigger as if i’m a child i’m an adult he can’t yell at me anymore in fact he’s not even yelling AT me he’s yelling at someone else but still i jump n i feel my pulse pounding in my ears n temples i wish i would just stop being such a baby i wish i was stronger i don’t want to be afraid of people anymore

#‘im not yelling i raised my voice’ that’s what i heard my entire childhood growing up he even said it to me a few weeks ago when we #got into a heated argument and he kept pushing and pushing me and trying to gaslight and manipulate me and accusing me and i remember #thinking just before i snapped ‘im not a little girl anymore i can yell back’ and so i did and we yelled back and forth a few exchanges #until HE started to backdown a little like did he realize too that i’m an adult now and if he wants to scream and yell i can too???#we were outside im sure all our neighbors could hear us i was embarrassed but seething #if he wasn’t gonna be embarrassed then i wouldn’t either #sometimes i am so disgusted by my father and the way he treats the people he claims to love he makes me so angry and disgusted #but then he has this hold on me??? as soon as he starts to cry/get choked up then immediately all my rage n disgust seep out of my body #from the core of my heart to the tips of my fingers those emotions bleed out of me and dissipate into the air and i’m left feeling guilty #instant guilt and for WHAT???? for making HIM upset???? after all the times he’s made me breakdown and hurt myself bc no one would comfortme #and still yet everytime i feel the need to comfort him and downplay my emotions and i KNOW he’s manipulating me it’s so OBVIOUS but i #i fucking Can’t Not protect him i can’t let him sit there in that hurt guilt shame WHATever it is #and the reason i’m torn and feel like this is bc i genuinely think he believes what he’s saying and isn’t purposely TRYING to manipulate me #but he doesn’t realize how MANIPULATIVE and SELFISH he truly is he’s Delusional and has ZERO emotional intelligence 000000000000000000000000 #so how can i be angry when i know he doesn’t understand he’s just too stupid to understand he’s like a child the child doesn’t understand #they don’t understand complex emotions #i don’t understand why daddy makes me cry and stares at me with cold enraged eyes but when he cries i fold everytime #it’s so gross of me how weak i am disgusting who could ever love someone so pathetic #ramblings #tw childhood trauma #tw trauma

39 notes · View notes

hecksupremechips · 1 month

Text

Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨

#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me #but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk #just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more #fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person #to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever #i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better #but also way worse at the same time #i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely #but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped #cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out #i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want #its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake #cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it #ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else #im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there #then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that #crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening #and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil #the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me #its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything #aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol

0 notes

rossithepixie · 3 months

Text

can't lie.. Childe gets some great fighting sequences.

Also you guys have no idea how much restraint it took me to not liveblog me playing the main quest in fontaine. No idea. I fucking loved it though.

#I now have two dragon husbands #I miss kaeya though. Gonna get that second key and unlock the first part to our date #Also good thing i like the cold because i will go bang down the door to child's house #he's had me worried sick #also i'd risk it all for the knave #i said it before but the children of the house of the hearth may call her father but i would absolutely call her daddy #i wish i knew how much was going to love navia back when her banner was active but i hadn't gotten to her by a long shot yet while that #was going on #storywise both sumeru and fountaine knocked it out of the park for me storywise #both made it hard for me to put the game down #also who do i thank wriothesley's ass? i still bet it's full of trauma #can't believe childe and his stupid dramatic thumbs down before he -----#I should smack him for stressing me out #he'd like that though i bet #i have so many more thoughts #also paimon has grown on me #like a fungus #a cute fungus #another thing! I know i mentioned child's fight sequences but honestly the cut scenes through this arc were overall great #no one can prove i cried with neuvillette at the end #my cat is an unreliable witness

0 notes

thebibliosphere · 9 months

Text

Not to keep reliving trauma on main, but I'm getting weird deja vu from where my health was a few years ago and where it's at now. And most of it is revolving around Good Omens.

In May of 2019, we genuinely thought I was dying because I was dying. My organs were in the process of shutting down because my red blood cells were prematurely self-destructing and damaging my kidneys in the process, and I was rapidly coming to terms with the fact that I might not survive much longer. I'd fought the good fight, and I'd lost. Mostly due to medical neglect. And I was mad about a lot of things, but do you know what I remember from the traumatic blur I'm left with?

"I'm going to be so pissed if I die before Good Omens comes out."

I'd waited 20+ years at that point for something like a tv adaptation of Good Omens. Ever since I was a child and my dad read the book to me, and I fell in love with it. And here I was, mere weeks away from the TV release and on the verge of death.

Then like a miracle, a miracle that hinged on human compassion and a doctor being willing to listen to me, I was saved. Dragged back from the jaws of death by a relentless hematology department that refused to give up on me and ultimately saved my life. And a week later, I got to watch Good Omens propped up in my own bed, still weak, still ill, with my heart stuttering in my chest every time I laughed. And I remember thinking, "I did it. I got to see it."

That it's now it's 2023 and my health has tanked again. My organs are rebelling against me and no one seems to know why. But yet again, a few weeks before Good Omens is set to release, I find a doctor who listens to me and is doing all he can to help. Striving with the grim kind of determination that can only come from a place of compassion and care. Like my world is worth saving, and not just his.

Which is rather fitting, I think.

#good omens #death mention #chronic health tag #I'm not saying it's a sign #I'm just saying if Neil wants to keep writing more Good Omens content #I will not object

12K notes · View notes

ro-is-struggling · 3 months

Text

Self care || Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky always seemed interested in your skin care routine, so when one day he arrives tired and drained from a mission, you take the opportunity to show him the importance and benefits of self-care.

Warnings: established relationship, brief mention to Bucky’s past trauma, a fuck ton of fluff, my little knowledge of skin care lol

English is not my first language

Word count: 2200

Notes: this was inspired by a dream I had. I thought it was cute and I couldn't get it out of my head, so I wrote this little thing. If it doesn’t make sense, blame my dumb dreams lol

It was one of the first times you slept over at Bucky's place that you discovered he didn't have a skin care routine. He would look at you cleansing your face from the bathroom door, watching you apply creams and serums with a mixture of admiration and confusion in his expression. And every time you picked up a new product, he would ask you what it was and what did it do.

It didn't really surprise you, most of the men you had dated tended to use a small number of personal hygiene products and usually the facial skin was only treated with soap and water. And if that was men your age, it was to be expected that Bucky and his over one hundred years of age were not aware of the benefits of skin care.You found his reactions kind of adorable. It wasn't every day that you caught Bucky acting with the naïve curiosity of a child, and you couldn't help but laugh as you answered his endless questions.

"Please tell me you at least wear sunscreen." You said and Bucky remained silent. "Oh my God, Bucky!" you complained, explaining to him how dangerous the sun was for his skin.

"After all I've been through, I don't think a little sun is going to kill me, doll." He laughed, coming up to you to hug you from behind. You wrapped your arms around his, smiling at him in the mirror as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

The bastard knew how cute he was —looking at you through the mirror with blue eyes full of love—, and he was using it to his advantage to keep you from scolding him. He was probably right, the super soldier serum surely protected him from skin cancer in the same way it protected him from hits and falls that would be fatal to the rest of humanity. But still, it wouldn't hurt him to take care of himself a little every now and then.

"You smell nice." Bucky praised you, inhaling the subtle floral scent the creams had left on your skin. He gave you a kiss on the cheek, his stubble tickling your sensitive face. You laughed and he knew he had won.

"Don't think you're getting out of this so easily." you warned, tilting your head to the side so you could kiss him. "Flattery will get you nowhere!"

From that day on you decided that you would put together a skincare routine for Bucky. Super Soldier serum or not, everyone's skin needed a little help from time to time. And besides, you believed it was something that could benefit Bucky in more ways than just one. It would teach him to take better care of himself and to value the precious 'me time'. And god knew he needed that. So you made a mental note to buy a couple of products for him the next time you went to restock some of your kit and stopped thinking about it for a while.

That was until one day Bucky came home tired from a mission. You didn't quite know what he had to do and he didn't want to tell you much about it either when you asked him. Not knowing tore you apart, but you respected his wishes and didn't press the issue, deciding to help him in a way that wasn't invasive. You started with running him a bath, filling the tub with warm water and using some of your bath salts and lotions to create a more relaxing environment. You insisted on taking care of him, although Bucky didn't put up much resistance, surrendering to the soothing power of your caresses on his hair. Your fingers gently massaged his scalp, coating it with shampoo to remove all the dirt before rinsing it and repeating the process with conditioner.

He still found such intimacy a bit strange. Even though he enjoyed it, he still wasn't completely used to being cared for with the affection you showed him. It had been so long since anyone had treated him with such love and care that he could hardly remember it. But he felt safe in your hands, happy to have you in his life. A light of hope at the end of the dark tunnel of agony that had been his life. That was what you were to him. His second chance to live, to love. So he relaxed under your touch and let your gentle caresses take all the tiredness and worries out of his system.

But your pampering didn't end when Bucky got out of the tub. After he changed into his pajamas and laid down on his side of the bed, you emerged from the bathroom with a small white bag in your hands. You rested it on the nightstand and began pulling out various products he recognized from your skin care routine, arranging them in a nice neat line.

"Doll... what are you doing?" Bucky asked, looking at the pink cat-ear headband you held in your hands. It was the one you always wore when you did your makeup or skin care routine, a tool you used to keep your hair out of your face while you worked. He always thought you looked adorable when you used it, but he didn't understand why you were directing it at him this time.

"Taking care of you." You replied as if it were obvious, "I want to show you the benefits of having a good skin care routine." Bucky hesitated for a moment, but eventually gave in to your soft smile and the sparkle of enthusiasm in your eyes. There was nothing he could say no to if you looked at him that way.

He gave you a slight nod and you took that as a signal to continue. You climbed onto the bed, settling onto his lap with one leg on either side of him, so you could face him and work more comfortably. Bucky put his hands on your hips instinctively, the cold metal of his fingers giving you goose bumps at the unexpected touch. But you didn't move them, you liked his hands there.

"First we have to make sure your hair is out of the way." You announced as you placed the headband on his head, making sure no hair was out of place or near his face. You couldn't help but let out a giggle as you admired Bucky wearing the accessory. The pink, furry cat ears looked so out of place it was ridiculous. The clear feminine energy of the headband clashed against the distinctive masculine look on his expression in a fun and charming way. It made him look adorable if you were honest, especially when he smiled at you. He could definitely pull it off.

"How do I look?" Bucky asked, batting his eyelashes in an exaggerated fashion.

"Adorable." You replied between giggles, before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

When you broke apart, you began your skin care routine, taking a piece of cotton and your favorite micellar water to cleanse Bucky's skin. He looked at you closely, taking advantage of the position you were in to admire your beauty up close while you concentrated on soaking the cotton ball in the liquid. You were the most beautiful woman in the world, he was sure, and not only that, you were kind and loving too. A wonderful person all around and he still didn't understand how he had managed to get you by his side, but he was happy about it.

"Why do you have to clean my face? I just showered." Bucky mumbled with his eyes closed, feeling your delicate fingers on his chin as you ran wet cotton across his face.

You let out a giggle. "Water is not enough! And regular soap is too harsh on the skin of our face, so you need to use a cleanser or cream that is meant for the face."

"I never heard about that." Bucky frowned, tilting his head slightly to the side in confusion.

"Because you're a guy and guys are used to using one product for everything hygiene related."

“That’s not true!” he tried to defend himself, although he didn't sound very convinced.

You decided to skip a few steps in the routine to keep things simple. The idea was not only to pamper Bucky and help him relax, but also show him that maintaining a skin care routine didn't have to be complicated and could bring him many benefits. So you went straight to the eye cream, taking some with your ring finger and carefully applying it to the bags under his eyes.

"Stay still! You're gonna make me poke your eye if you move like that!"

"It already feels like you're poking my eye!"

"Don't be so dramatic!" You laughed, men really were cry babies. "Just close your eyes and trust me." Bucky grumbled, pouting. You planted a quick kiss on his lips, and that seemed to please him because he kept his eyes closed and stopped moving. Carefully, you spread the eye cream over his dark circles, giving his skin time to absorb the product before proceeding with the last step.

"What is that?" Bucky asked you curiously as you reached for the last tub in the line of products.

"It's a night cream. You're supposed to use it at night after you wash your face to keep your skin moisturized."

"Isn't that what the other cream did?"

"No, silly! That was just for your under eye area, this helps hydrate the rest of your face. We need to give back all the good things we got rid off when we cleaned your skin of all the dirt and oils clogging your pores."

Bucky made an annoyed face, muttering about how complicated it all sounded. But the truth was, he was enjoying the extra attention you were giving him. He had you all to himself, the warmth of your body enveloping him in a comforting embrace as your fingers gently massaged his face. He couldn't think of a better definition of paradise than that. Just the two of you sharing an intimate moment, far from the horrors of the outside world. He could commit to a skin care routine if it involved at least a third of the pampering you were giving him at that moment.

"You don't need to use much," you continued your explanation, dipping one of your fingertips into the cream before bringing it up to Bucky's face. "Just a little bit here, here, here... and here." You painted a couple of white dots on his cheeks, forehead and chin, kissing the tip of his nose before applying a bit of cream to the area. It was such a cute and intimate act he almost blushed.

The first thing Bucky noticed about the cream was the scent. It had a light rose fragrance that was familiar to him, comforting even. It traveled up his nostrils as you massaged the cream into his face, sparking a warm and fuzzy feeling inside him. It took him a few seconds to understand that it was because that was the same rose scent he recognized on your skin whenever he kissed you, that sweet floral scent he had learned to recognize as home. He finally knew he had your choice in moisturizer to thank for it.

"You're using your cream on me?"

"Yes, it's the only one I had. The perfume doesn't last long, don't worry. I'll buy you an unscented one tomorrow."

"No, don't! I like this one, it smells like you... it's like having a little piece of you with me all the time."

You didn't expect him to say that, so you weren't prepared for the tingling warmth of love that coursed through your body. The idea that he wanted to keep you close at all times, that he recognized your scent and found comfort and safety in it, made your heart melt with love. Bucky was normally a man of few words, and tended to show his feelings with other things rather than words. Acts of service were his most common way of showing how much he loved you, although he also resorted to spending quality time together whenever you had free time. But every once in a while, he would manage to drop a sentence like that, which in concise words made it clear how much he loved you. Always taking you by surprise, he would drop them at the most casual moments, leaving you completely stupid for a few seconds as you processed his words and wondered what you had done to deserve having someone so wonderful in your life.

Bucky gave you a shy smile, cheeks turning pink under your gaze, feeling exposed and vulnerable. He looked so adorable that you couldn't help but join your lips with his in a slow, loving kiss. He reciprocated immediately, one of his hands leaving your waist to cradle your cheek, pressing you tighter against him and deepening the kiss.

"I love you," you muttered against his lips, pressing your forehead against his as you gazed into his deep blue eyes.

Bucky smiled, feeling the last bit of stress evaporate from his system thanks to you and your sweetness. "I love you too."

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fem reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

3K notes · View notes

assassinsblade · 3 months

Text

Arrows and Ashes | 3

Azriel's determined to help you get better. You are determined that you are fine.

WC: 3.6k

Warnings: Pining, friends to lovers, injuries, fluff, some brief unhealthy coping, self-deprecation.

a/n: If you would like notifications for my writing, you can turn on notifications for the blog @assassinslibrary where I reblog all my fics!

Part 1 Part 2

—————————————

Azriel couldn't sleep. All night, he stayed by your side, watching your back rise and fall with each breath. He counted them, making sure you were getting enough air, that you were alive and well. And when that didn’t quell the pounding of his heart and the trembling of his hands, he moved closer and listened for the air leaving your lungs and the heartbeat in your chest.

He tried to read to pass the time, picking up the book he had brought in from your bedroom. But the words refused to sink into his brain, and he found himself unable to focus on anything other than you.

Any time his eyes wavered from your form, anxiety pooled in his chest. His eyelids had even become heavy with sleep, but he forced them open again, his shadows swirling around him in irritation.

He realized while sitting in silence that this was the first time you had been in his bedroom for more than a few minutes. He had known you for centuries, since he had been a child, yet he kept his room very private. You would enter occasionally when dropping something off to him, calling him down for dinner, needing to tell him something, or asking him to accompany you somewhere. But spending a longer amount of time together? Normally that occurred outside of either of your bedrooms.

Now, as you laid in his bed, your hair fanned out on the pillow, Azriel couldn’t help but feel like you were meant to be there. You occupied this space like it was your own, despite the aesthetic contrasting so deeply with your vibrant personality. It made something warm pool in his chest, a feeling that reminded him of coming home after a mission or falling asleep after a long day. A feeling he had pushed down until the past few days. One he had tried to ignore out of fear.

A soft groan pulled him out of his thoughts, and he immediately sat up straighter, his heart faltering.

You started to roll over to face away from the wall, your body moving toward him instead. But Azriel jumped to his feet, laying his hands gently on your arm to keep you from turning onto your back.

“Don’t move too much.”

His voice came out as a whisper, as if the volume could pierce you and cause you more pain.

“Azriel?”

“It’s me,” he clarified, scarred fingers stroking soft circles on your bicep. “I’m here.”

You swallowed, and he could feel your body start to tremble beneath his touch. Adrenaline shakes, he surmised -- your body still recovering from the pain and trauma it suddenly endured.

“You don’t have to say anything. You’re in my room, you’re safe. You’ve just been resting.”

Blinking as if trying to orient yourself, you tried to turn again. His strong hands kept you in place.

“Could you-“ you coughed lightly. “Could you help me turn? I want to see you.”

One of his hands moved beneath your knees and the other cradled your back, just beneath your wounds. He lifted you from the bed slightly, moving your body toward him before releasing your legs and encouraging you to turn on your right side to face him, keeping pressure off your back.

When he finally released his hands, his hazel eyes stared into your own.

“Hi,” you whispered.

“Hey,” he spoke softly in return. His fingers gently moved your hair behind your ear.

Your eyes traced his face in silence before you finally moved your gaze away from him, noting where you were.

“Your bed is cozy.”

Azriel had to control his facial expression so as not to reveal his confusion and concern. That was the first thing you thought upon waking?

He gave you a soft smile instead. “Can I get you anything?”

You shook your head, burying yourself further into the blankets. “No, I’m okay.”

There was no way.

But you didn't elaborate and seemed content enough to stay laying there in silence, no acknowledgement of the life-altering event that had occurred to you.

Azriel didn’t like this at all. He had expected you to wake up in pain, whimpering, asking for him or Cassian or Rhys. For you to have been in a panic over your wings, sobbing and mourning them. He had been prepared to comfort you and hold you and explain how you were safe and that those males had been torn to pieces for hurting you.

But you were acting like nothing had even happened.

It was unnerving, and the shadowsinger for once had no read on the situation.

He eyed you carefully. “I’m going to have to change your bandages in a bit.”

You stiffened, your body tensing at his words before relaxing, your eyes feigning nonchalance.

“Later,” you challenged, closing your eyes again. “Is everyone coming for dinner?”

Azriel couldn’t mask his uncertainty over the situation, his brows furrowed and fingers twitching at his sides. “I’m not sure. Are you hungry?”

“You know I’d never turn down something sweet. Do we have any of those chocolate croissants from our cafe?”

“I’ll check. If not, I’ll have Rhys bring you some.”

You smiled, and he stood from where he was sitting by your form, looking at you one last time before crossing the threshold into the hallway so he can check for something to appease your unexpected sweet tooth.

Your entire behavior was unexpected. You wanted to eat. You were smiling. Not at all hinting at the trauma you had been through.

Azriel’s job was to inflict torture onto those in the dungeons (among other tasks). He knew the trauma it caused — the pain, the nightmares, the way it would permanently break some fae. He wasn’t sure if what had happened had not caught up to you yet, if you were in shock still, or if you were pretending to be okay, unwilling to show weakness in front of him.

Both possibilities made something twist in his stomach.

He forced his feet to move away from where you curled up in bed, shutting the door softly behind him and making his way to the kitchen. It was empty still, save for the bundles of daisies Rhys had dropped off at Azriel’s request. The high lord hadn’t questioned the order for the flowers, only leaving a note with them that said they all love you.

The two large bouquets looked silly now to the shadowsinger. Of course, he was hoping they would make you happy based on your past joy from flowers, but with everything that happened? They seemed so small in comparison.

He shook the thoughts from his head, instead looking around the counters and cabinets for any sign of your favorite treats. When he found none, he wrote a letter to Rhys seeing if he could deliver some of those chocolate croissants per your request. Once the high lord knew you were awake, he would probably do just about anything you asked.

Azriel sighed in defeat, bringing one of the bouqets back to the room with him so he wasn’t empty-handed.

He paused outside of the door, trying to settle his nerves. His shadows only swirled around him in agitation, and he tried to soothe them back to his sides. Only when he went to shush them, though, did he realize why they were unsettled.

A quiet whimper sounded from the other side of the door, followed by a sniffle and a small choked sob.

Azriel immediately opened the door, not hesitating to knock or make sure you were decent. His eyes scanned the room hurriedly, noting the tossed blankets on his bed and the light spilling from the bathroom.

He walked into the entryway, body instinctually turning toward your presence, guiding him toward the cracked door on the left. You shouldn’t be out of bed without assistance, and he definitely didn’t want you to be in there crying alone. He quickly placed the flowers on the desk next to the door before he peered into the open doorway, eyes immediately drawn to your red rimmed ones. You weren’t looking at him, though. Your eyes were turned over your bare shoulder, looking at the reflection of your back in the mirror.

Your back. Azriel's stomach dropped at the sight.

He hadn’t seen it all cleaned up without the bandages yet. It was still somehow just as gruesome as when it was splayed open and bloody on that table.

The wounds were large. Crescent-shaped and still healing. They were deep, gouged into the skin, and anyone else would look at them and call them ugly, an eye-sore, a blemish marking what would have been beautiful skin. Not Azriel, though. Never Azriel. Not when he still ran his own fingers along his scarred palms when nervous.

He slowly inched the door open further, the movement catching your eye and causing you to quickly turn your back to him, your arms crossing to cover your bare chest.

It was silent, your startled eyes searching his own for some sort of reaction. Did you expect him to be disgusted by your? By your scars?

In a way, he was. He didn't think you were disgusting in any way, but the act that was committed against you, the pain you had gone through in those moments, Cassian's memories still flashing in his mind -- that was what disgusted him.

You swallowed, and Azriel was moving before you could say something. He walked around you in a way that was cautious but attempting to be casual as to not put you on edge. He didn't face your back right away, especially as he felt you stiffen as he passed your side, and instead reached toward the counter where one of Madja's creams sat.

Unscrewing the lid, he finally made his presence known close behind you, pausing to let you breathe through your nerves before gently moving the hair that had fallen back over your shoulder. You shivered at the movement, but you didn't flee. You didn't tell him no.

So he gently dipped his fingers into the medicine, bringing it carefully up to the first of your wounds, still red and angry and glaring at him as if he were an enemy. He so very gently covered one edge with the white substance. You flinched at the feeling but still said nothing, so he continued, holding his breath and waiting for you to either lash out or break down.

Neither came though.

You stood still as can be, letting him apply the cream and dress your wounds, even taking the wrap from him and around your front to help hold the gauze in place. When he finally finished, he pulled your hair back from where it laid over your shoulder, letting it flow beautifully down your back, no longer suffocating the space by your neck. Then he walked back around to your front, meeting your gaze immediately and refusing to let it go.

Azriel tried to read what you were thinking, what you were feeling. But you only blinked away the remaining tears as if you were breaking out of a stupor.

You stood up taller, putting a faux smile on your face. "No chocolate croissants? I'm disappointed, Shadowsinger. You know Cassian wouldn't have returned without them."

A sharp pain twisted in his chest at your deflection, at your so obvious false display of contentment.

"Daisy-" he started, voice low and quiet.

"Why don't we go pick some up? You can use your shadows to get us to the gate right?"

"Daisy-"

You made your way toward the door, stumbling and moving slowly with your body's new imbalance and soreness. "Then you can go see everyone else. You shouldn't have to babysit-"

"Daisy."

You halted at his tone. The strong, demanding voice filled with such concern and care.

"You don't have to do this," he said.

He couldn't see your face, but he could almost picture your haunted look as you took a moment to collect yourself, your voice shaking when you finally spoke.

"Do what?"

"Pretend." He sighed. "You don't have to pretend with me."

Taking a deep breath, you shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just want you to feel what you need to feel. You have been through a lot, and it's not good for you to just pretend like it didn't happen."

He walked closer to you, approaching you from behind, but you whirled around before he could get too close, gripping the doorway to stop yourself from stumbling.

"Of course I can't pretend like nothing happened. My wings are gone, Azriel. They are gone. My back feels like its been shredded -- like someone took me down to the butcher in Velaris to play with. And every day I will see those scars, feel those scars. I will watch as Rhys, Cassian, and you all fly, and I will forever be grounded. I will never again feel the wind in my hair or leap from the balcony. My body is changed; half of who I am has been taken from me, so I'm sorry if I don't know who I'm supposed to be after that."

By the end of your outburst, you were breathing heavy, choking on sobs that threatened to come up. Azriel watched as you swayed, your still healing and exhausted body needing rest, and he stepped closer.

"You aren't supposed to be anyone," he started, tears filling his own eyes. "You will always be Daisy, no one can take that away."

When he reached where you were standing, you shook your head, backing up into the bedroom as tears began to fall down your cheeks.

"You don't understand-"

"You're right. I could never understand. But I still want to help. Let me help, please."

"You can't help me. You can't go back in time or reattach my wings. I’m no longer me, I’m ruined.”

Azriel lunged forward at your words, propelled by something deep in his chest to correct you, to defend the sweet girl in front of him. His eyes were wild with hurt as he grasped your face between his palms, guiding your teary eyes to his own.

“Don’t you dare say that. You are the same girl who walked out of this house days ago. You are strong and brave and selfless, and everything you have lost is proof of that. You are not ruined, you are everything.”

You only looked at him, lip quivering as you tried to listen to him and hold back your sobs.

You shook your head slightly. “I’ll never be able to fly with you again.”

“I’ll take you.” Azriel vowed, voice deep and resolute. “I will carry you wherever you’d like.”

“I can’t even walk balanced-”

“My shadows will help support you while you recover. I will help support you.”

You looked away from him, tears filling your eyes once again. The words that came next were small, insecure. "No one will want me like this."

It took Azriel a few seconds to realize what you meant, because he could never dream of not wanting you. They all had trauma and nightmares, but you were referencing your scars, your forever-marked body. Madja had been able to close the wounds, but the worst ones had scarred. The lashings that had become infected in those dungeons had scarred. Only days ago you had been scar free save for a few. Not, you had hills and valleys of rough textured skin on your back, abdomen, thighs...

And you were the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Every scar a testament to your love and devotion to your family, a testament to your strength. He wanted more than just you, he wanted to worship you. He wanted to lay you down and cater to your every need, to massage and kiss every inch of your healing body, to show you just how beautiful he found you.

He swallowed, passion and an overwhelming amount of love filling his chest. It nearly ached. He directed you to look at him again. Nearly commanded it with his grip on you.

"I want you. In every form, in every life, in every universe. You are everything."

His words were strong, confident, and warm. He was pleading with you to believe him, to see and hear the truth that was right there.

You looked at him, studied him. Azriel knew your teary eyes were watching closely for a crack in his resolute stance. You would find none, though.

Eventually you sniffed, your eyebrows furrowing slightly as you asked in a sweet but broken voice, "What if your mate had these faults?"

Azriel didn't even have time to be shocked at the question, because he was immediately retaliating against your self-deprecation. "They are not faults. They are a part of you, of your story, and of your selflessness. They encompass so much of your beautiful heart in them, they could never be a fault."

The insinuation made him angry, but he tried to tamp down those feelings. You needed reassurance, not a reprimand.

You didn't even flinch at his response. Instead, you held his gaze and tried to cover the meekness making its way into your voice by standing up straighter. Azriel held you firm, steadying your balance with his shadows and his own feet against yours.

"And you'd still be saying this? If it was your mate?"

He was surprised the question didn't have that much of an effect on him. Anyone else bringing up mates normally had him tensing, snapping, getting defensive and changing the subject. From you though, It was comforting. Natural.

"Especially if it was my mate. But they would be able to feel all of this from me too. I would make sure they always knew they were wanted. I'd tell them everyday how beautiful they are, I'd get them sweet foods to make them feel better, I'd surprise them with flowers..."

As if the words summoned your eyes to them, he saw you see the giant bouquet of daisies sitting on his desk by the door. Your eyes widened slightly, your brows furrowing and chest rising a bit more rapidly. Azriel tightened his grip on you to steady you further.

He tilted his head to bring your gaze back to his own. "You are wanted, Daisy. I loved you before this, and I love you now. I will continue to love you always. Because you are you."

His words cracked something within you, because the next thing he knew, he was catching your weight against him. Your cheek pressed against his chest and your arms wrapped around his back, and then you were letting out such a heart-wrenching sob that Azriel immediately held you as tight as he could. He wished he could take all of the pain away, all of the haunting memories and nightmares. Any threats or fears, he vowed to fight them for you. Do anything until a smile was back on your pretty face.

"I want you too. I love you too," you mumbled into his chest.

It was only a few minutes before your sniffs subsided, and you pulled back with red splotchy cheeks and swollen eyes, skin wet with tears. Azriel cleared the hair from your face, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"You're my mate."

The words were so quiet, Azriel almost missed them.

But he couldn't. How could he? Mate, you had said. Him.

He was shocked enough at the acknowledgement of a physical bond between the two of you that he probably looked absurd, but he wasn't that shocked at the Cauldron deeming you two well-suited. After all, he had cared for you as more than a friend for months now, even if he had tried not to acknowledge it in fear of rejection.

He breathed, allowing his love for you to fill his veins, fill his very heart and soul. And then he met your sparkling eyes, still slightly watery from minutes prior.

And he felt it.

Deep within his chest, it's presence slowly becoming more prominent, was a golden thread. A tether that thrummed inside of him and brought him to you. A tug nearly sent him reeling.

"Your mate," was all he said.

"Yes," you whispered, still a little sniffly. "And I'm yours."

He let out a wet, happy chuckle, tears beginning to coat his own cheeks.

"You're mine," he repeated.

He made sure you were stable before grasping your face in his hands once again, bringing his lips to your cheek, then your forehead, then your other cheek, then your nose, and then your lips. He peppered them all over your face and arms, over the lacerations. He let the warmth in his chest take over and sing a song he had never known. The song escaped his lips in the form of kisses, in the form of I love you, my beautiful Daisy, and I'm so glad you're safe.

Only once he had regained control of his actions, he let his forehead rest on your own.

"You're mine," he said once again. "My everything."

And he knew you felt it.

#writing #acotar x reader #acotar fic #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel angst #azriel fluff

2K notes · View notes

storiumemporium · 6 months

Text

Astarion As a Father

Fem!Tav/Reader

I FINALLY GOT A NEW KEYBOARD WITH FULLY FUNCTIONING KEYS LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I elected to write about something that's been giving me brainworms for ages, because I'd been talking about it with someone on here awhile ago and it just infested me. Astarion finding out you're pregnant and how he handles fatherhood. (Or, in this case, doesn't at first.) This isn't my best work but I blame it on the fact that I didn't intend for it to be THIS FUCKING LONG okay 😭

But without further ado, daddy Astarion:

Finding out:

When it comes to children, I think Astarion hasn't put much thought into it beyond 'me!? ABSOLUTELY NOT—'

He has no illusions about his state of mind and his faculties, you see. Astarion knows that he's fucked up, he knows that he's a problem, and he's only entirely too confident that any child unfortunately put under his care would likely end up just as damaged as he is, were they to miraculously make it to adulthood. He's just not equipped for it.

And, frankly, Astarion isn't even aware he can have children... That's just, not something he ever thought to question. He's undead, is he not? That should take care of the...fertility question.

Shouldn't it?

Truth be told, Cazador never told him of the possibilities because it was never meant to be a possibility. Astarion was too malnourished, his victims too short lived for anything to ever have come of it. He was supposed to die a sacrifice, not live to carry his own bloodline (hah) onward.

Were you to ever ask him about it, even jokingly over dinner one eve, he'd be very firm in the fact that it's a terrible idea and he'd be entirely unequipped. He would even go so far as to say he's the worst choice out of all of your past companions.

"Me? No. Absolutely not. I'm sure whatever little devil you managed to cook up would be the most charming child Baldur's Gate has ever seen... But even that magical explosive that fancied himself a God would be better suited to fatherhood, darling. I am built for luxury and adventure, nothing else." All bookended by typical Astarion preening.

So when the day comes and you inform him of the little life growing in your womb?

Nope. Not happening, not even a chance of happening.

The denial is strong with this one.

And when I say denial, I mean that Astarion well and truly blots out what you've said from his mind, as if it simply didn't happen at all. You never had the conversation, you never dropped the revelation, there is no child, he is not becoming a father.

It's not a lack of want— though he doesn't realize that yet— it's true, blinding terror. Before it was just a joke, just something for him to brush off with commentary about how terribly he'd do as a parent, better the uncle than anything else. But now it's a reality and to accept what you've said is to accept that he might well and truly destroy a child. But not just any, yours.

The traumas Astarion possesses heap onto his shoulders and slough off plentiful enough to make new oceans of it. Now, not only is he just beginning to regain his own autonomy, he's supposedly being given responsibility over a brand new life?

(It would only make sense for Astarion in retrospect, that the life you willingly sacrificed to nourish and nurture him would in turn allow him to grow a new life within you. The fool had just been too blind to consider it: The way, fresh off your blood, he could pull back from the delicate column of your throat and you would find his cheeks and ears and chest flushed with the loveliest shade of pink, eyes wide and soft and alive. The way his entire body would warm, going from corpse frigid to something just beneath normal. The way his once-still heart would slowly beat again.

He'd even asked you once- curled together on a familiar silken bed, foreheads touching and your hands clasped together between your chests- if you knew what it felt like to be so, so hungry that all you could even think about was about badly you wanted to eat? How food sounded so good that the desire became crossed and instead felt even more painful and nauseating? How it consumed your ability to make rational decisions, denied you the capacity to control your emotions?

He'd told you then, voice tender and timid and weak, that he'd felt like that every single day for two whole centuries, until the night you'd willingly laid down on that cot and put your life in his hands.

It was so simple really, of course you granted him the strength to create life. It was you.)

And of course it comes to a head before there is any chance at recovery. Your body begins to show the changes, you begin to swell, and Astarion only grows more avoidant and flighty. Because now he can't simply wipe the idea from his mind and continue on as if the child doesn't exist, the proof is there every single time he looks at you. He makes it very clear to you that he will not be returning to your side without a confrontation, a very potentially ugly one at that.

And ugly it is, explosive. Astarion hasn't truly had the time to recover from his life under Cazador, and all of those protective traits he grew remain sharp as ever, returning to the surface as if they'd never truly gone away to begin with. He sneers and hisses, tries his best to dig in and hurt you enough to stop poking his tender wounds. Enough to push you away so he can lick his wounds back open. He'll go so far as to accuse you of infidelity, though he regrets the words the moment they leave his lips, it's easier for him to imagine that you simply grew tired of him, that you were weary and longed for the daylight. That you wanted someone who could hold you beneath the sun, unlike him.

How you respond to this is entirely up to you, but just shy of throwing something truly despicable back into his face, such as Cazador, Astarion will apologize... eventually. If you remain stalwart and patient, if you have it in you to recognize that he doesn't mean his words, that he's barbing you with intent, Astarion will break down in that very same argument, his angry and accusatory rant will dissolve into an admission of deep insecurity and deeper terror.

But if you respond with anger? Justifiable, and Astarion knows that even in the moment as it's happening, but emotions rule him far more than he'd ever care to admit, and he will dig in and relish the reaction he's managed to draw from you. He will bristle and bite back until suspicion and bitterness fully claims his heart, and he aborts the conversation to hide in the shadows.

Astarion will wait until nightfall, until his freedom calls for him. The one thing that always manages to clear his head, even when you prove to be the cause of his muddying. It's a reminder, every time he steps into the cool and dark of Baldur's Gate, that Cazador is dead and he is a free man. That he can go where he chooses and when he chooses to, and not only that no one can stop him, but that you wouldn't even want to stop him.

And that truth is always what brings Astarion home.

Under the distant lonely stars and that cold moon, he has to remember that time and again you have let him. You have accepted him, you have not fought him on anything shy of a horrible mistake he wanted to make in a moment of weakness and hysteria. You have accepted all his deepest and ugliest wounds and kissed them like they were freckles to pour affection on. You fought Cazador for him, you defended him from your own friends. You even- at times- tested your own morals for him.

You wouldn't betray him, and Astarion knows he can't betray you.

Astarion would return to you late, curling into bed at your side, his eyes would not meet you, and his apology would come in the form of a simple confession. "I am... afraid. I am afraid."

Astarion wouldn't blame you if you don't forgive him immediately for his transgressions, he was cruel and you were vulnerable. But even then you'll find that your love doesn't abandon you again. He accepts- however frightened- that what you've said is true and is coming, and he must accept it. Mind you, it won't be perfect and it won't be romantic. Astarion doesn't know the intricacies of handling a pregnant woman, he's hardly tactful beyond his well honed and flirtatious lines. He genuinely loves you, but he's going to come pre-equipped as father material.

You need something? He'll get it with minimal complaint (but never none, you'd sooner get him to dye his hair black than cease complaining for the sake of it), he won't begrudge you your mood swings though he might be inclined to poke fun at you ever so often. And he will panic when you burst into tears for seemingly no reason, and no- time doesn't make him adjust, he will panic just as much the thousandth time as the first.

However, if it's any consolation. The moment your child enters the world, Astarion is a changed man.

When You Go Into Labor:

Astarion did the honors of informing all of your friends about your pregnancy, once he came to terms with it. And believe me when I say it is extravagant. The stationery and grandiose script that Astarion wields when informing everyone that you were expecting better fits a wedding invitation than it does... well. Very elegantly explaining that Astarion had accidentally knocked you up.

You can tell from the splotchy stains addressed to you from Wyll and Karlach that one of them had been crying when penning the message, Astarion has coin on Wyll, and you on Karlach. Lae'zel never responds to begin with and you know for a fact the Githyanki's response will likely come in the form of her simply showing up one of these days, unprompted. Jaheira personally and rather frequently visits as well, she becomes a sort of bastion as nerves take you over, confident and calm as she is. Halsin's "letter" arrives late, rather because alongside his letter is several little carved animals for the child's room, and mentions of a quilt he intends to bring along when next he visits. Shadowheart's letter, while congratulatory, contains an air of interrogation strung all about it, all aimed with pinpoint precision at the man responsible for your pregnancy and dripping with sarcasm.

Gale's letter is seven pages long, comes with a violet hued wax stamp, and multiple different inks in the most lavish hand he can manage. You daresay he's competing with Astarion. However, surprisingly, Gale's seems to be the most... helpful of them all? It wasn't your intent, you simply wanted your dear friend to join you in celebration, and yet Gale goes on to inform you that upon reading the letter he'd become a madman in pursuit of knowledge on pregnancy and giving birth. He admits that this wasn't a particularly fruitful endeavor, as he's rather confident that you're not a gnoll, troll, cambion, succubus, or any other variety of strange creature with strange metrics of procreation. Still, Gale directs the latter portion of his letter to Astarion quite pointedly, informing him of bookshops around Baldur's Gate where he might have more success.

Astarion scoffs, but you don't miss the way his fingers twitch and flex.

After the hilarity of this is resolved and you just begin to believe that peace might return to your soft little home in the city, the first of your companions begin to arrive.

This continues on for the next week or so, without you ever knowing that this had been planned- and without knowing that Astarion had been the one to plan it. It's a furthering of his apology, of his guilt over the way he'd treated you. Again, Astarion has no illusions of the kind of man he is, and the fact he's not nurturing in the sort of ways that you need- but he's not completely stupid and he knows you're scared. So... bring the cavalry, darling.

Eventually your entire home has become a crash pad for all of your dearest friends, your family, and you only grow suspicious of Astarion's hand in this chaos because he's surprisingly amicable to having his peace so thoroughly disturbed by 'everyone and their mother'. Truly, he manages to bite his tongue some of the time about them trampling his fine rugs and scratching the plates. He even seems... wistful about it. As nostalgic as you openly are at seeing all of these beloved people under one roof again.

Nights are filled with raucous laughter, clattering utensils, a table so thoroughly overcrowded that people are playfully shouldering each other out of the way for a chance to get at their own food. And Astarion stays faithful at your side, his hand perpetually clasped gently around yours, thumb rubbing over your knuckles. Days are never spent alone, no matter what it is you need to do, someone (if not everyone) is following you along. And though Astarion feels his heart ache that he can't join you, he'll be glad to know you're safe.

Besides, your companions are likely all taking turns tormenting, testing, and relentlessly teasing him about what is to come. He has his own hands full. He's starting to regret being such a generous lover.

And then your water breaks in the dead of night.

Remember how I said Astarion was far from perfect? This would be one of those moments that it really shines.

Not that he's particularly terrible, no. He's not actively cruel toward you, and certainly not dismissive, it's somewhat the opposite. Halsin and Jaheira end up the ones helping you, the only two with some iota of understanding on what was happening and what to do with and for you. The others, less experienced in "mundane" medical situations will take up the second most important role.

Prevent Astarion from catastrophizing any more than he already has been.

Karlach has been the sole force capable of keeping Astarion away from the wine, typically bear hugging him away from your cellar while Wyll tries his best to talk your lover down from a total nervous breakdown. Of which he nearly has, several times. It's not even the sight of you, specifically. He's okay with being at your side and holding your hand, in trying his best to provide comforting words that aren't laced with sarcasm for once. But the sounds you make, that's what breaks him. Astarion isn't good at hearing you scream from the pain, he isn't good at the choked sobs or your heavy breaths. The way you sound like you're struggling against death. It makes him want to crawl out of his own skin, fight assailants that aren't there.

And for a few hours there, in the midst of your labors and your exhausted, pained little cries, Astarion isn't sure how he can love the child causing you this much suffering. It's not as if Astarion was an altruistic man on his best days, as if he were particularly reasonable when it came to you. You've both come to a mutual understanding that were something to happen to you, no morals would be involved in the things Astarion would do to rectify it.

And now, here you are, suffering. Astarion isn't supposed to do a thing about it? He's supposed to be- what, overjoyed by it? It infuriates him, he's truly prepared to have a grudge match with an infant.

Until, as the sun is starting to creep up on a brand new day, it's no longer your screams that meet the air, but another's entirely. Tiny but powerful, high pitched little squeals of fury and distress. And your laughter, disbelieving, soft, adoring already.

Astarion has a daughter.

I go with the HC that Astarion had eyes like honey once, and that his daughter takes after that, along with the delicate points of his ears mirrored in her own. She's small, so small, but healthy and already feisty, wiggling as best as her tiny body can whilst still too heavy for her to lift and move.

You're the first to hold her of course, and Astarion will be at his knees beside the two of you. The expression he wears is something you've seen maybe two or three other times in the entire time you've known him- moments when you know he expected everything to fall apart, moments where he couldn't believe that the world was so good.

It's then that you can breathe for the first time, and know that both of your darlings will be just fine.

Once he does hold her, he's not inclined to let her go. Even once you ask to have her back, he'll simply move you into his lap, so that he can hold you both. It's better that way anyhow, having both of his girls in his arms. And Astarion will repeat again and again how stunned he is, he just can't believe it. Cannot fathom any of it. I think he's the type to say that he's speechless and then spend the next five minutes doing nothing but talking. It's nervous rambling, but still, speechless is not the term I would use to describe him here.

Astarion With Your Baby:

Once your little darling is actually in your lives, you get to see how hilariously unorthodox Astarion is with children. Especially his own. Astarion doesn't baby-talk like you or the rest of your companions, he speaks in the same exact tones as he would a grown woman. In fact, for the first few days you're adjusting to a child in your life, you sometimes mistake Astarion as speaking with an unexpected guest, only to round the corner and find him lightheartedly chastising his own daughter for her poor nappy conduct as he wrinkles his nose and changes her diaper.

He's disgusted by that, by the way. Absolutely hates it, complains loudly about having to do it. But if you so much as try to stand to help he'll force you back down onto your chair or the couch, something something not useless something something already up, darling. It's as if Astarion is simply allergic to admitting that while it makes him nauseous, he wants to care for his daughter. He wants you to rest.

And yes, Astarion is the type of father that thinks all other children are hideous little fecal beasts and his daughter is the only gorgeous little angel in the entire world. Perfect, can do no wrong. He tells her as such too, in the same deadpan voice he always uses, wiggling and stretching her legs.

"You know, darling. You should count your blessings, you're the only child I've ever seen that doesn't look like some sort of hideous, deformed bean. I can't be surprised though, with as gorgeous as your parents are." And though he rolls his eyes, he's unable to contain the grin that shows his teeth when she coos and squeaks at the sound of his voice.

And yes. Astarion dresses up with his child.

The older she gets the more he does it, little matching outfits and ribbons. Nothing that she would choke on, were she to get her mitts on it. (You had to be the one to tell him no, at first. He did throw a little fit about it, just a small one).

But it's not all lighthearted, good or bad.

There are times where Astarion won't touch your daughter, won't be alone with her in the same room. He fears it, he'll eventually tell you. His... affliction came with it's dangers, always. But he's always trusted that you could defend yourself, and you're big enough that he can't just kill you between one blink and the next. The same can't be said of your darling girl. She's so small and so fragile that, were he to lose even the slightest grip of himself around her, it could cost her her life. No doubt it would traumatize her for life, regardless.

You watch it, too. The way it pinches his brows and makes him wipe his palms against his pants as if he were sweating. Nervous habits creeping up his throat and causing him to pace about like a caged animal. It's during these times that you have to bring your daughter to him. Gently place her in his arms and remind him that he's loved her from the moment he saw her. And where once he held trepidation and queasiness at the prospect of fatherhood, you can see him care so much about this little bundle that he looks sick from it. A vulnerability he can't mask.

And of course, there are times he nearly weeps for other reasons.

Like when she takes her first steps, and immediately tries to run for him.

And Astarion knows he should let her tumble, that it's good to let her fall and get back up again, but the moment her unsteady feet cause her to careen she's safe in his arms. Little kisses peppered against her giggly face. And he'll tuck away against her to try and get his bearings back, but she'll pat his cheeks and tug his ears- and you'll have to distract her with a toy while he hiccups and sniffles down his need to cry. He wasn't ready for her to grow so fast, gone is the tiny bundle that could fit perfectly in one arm, now she's walking. How long before she's dating? Gods, should he be preparing for betrothal requests!?

"I want to be mortal." He whispers to you, one night. She's tucked between your bodies, sound asleep and wiggling from time to time. This is one of the rare moments you and your love can speak to each other uninterrupted, in the tranquility of the dark hugging around you.

It's strange that he brings this up now, you'd spoken about it several times since the Elder Brain had been taken down... But in the past few years since your daughter had been born, all of that had fallen to the wayside. "What brings this to mind, Starling?"

Your hand comes to cup his throat, as you watch and feel him work as if he were swallowing a stone. "I don't want to outlive this."

It's hard to blink the tears from your eyes, understanding the implications.

Were he actually two hundred years old, Astarion wouldn't survive well past the existence of his sweet little family.

He'd been more melancholy the past few weeks, after realizing that your daughter was beginning to function on her own. She was walking, grabbing things, talking in rudimentary sentences. She was even beginning to call him pa.

He'd cried, at that.

"I'll forget," his voice draws you out from that brief reverie. The distress is palpable, but runs low like the tide before a storm. "I'll forget all of this. I don't want to know what I'll become, then."

And when you run your hands up into his hair, to scratch lovingly along his scalp, he doesn't hide the shiver or the way his face presses against your palm, cold and smooth on your skin.

"We'll find a way, Astarion. I haven't given up yet... We just- she's too young."

It's both a strain and a relief, to know that. To be reminded that your daughter is still so small, that he won't be losing her- or you- any time soon. There's still time.

Astarion With Your Teen:

Arguably this is the best time between your daughter and him. It's simultaneously a surprise and yet- not at all? He's more like her confidante and best friend than strictly a father. He isn't one for harsh curfews and strict ways of dress- rather, he's the one she comes to when she's made some sort of mistake. Or when she's angry about something.

In general, Astarion withholds judgement of her, for better or worse. The unintended consequence is that you might become more of her enemy than Astarion, because he's less inclined to punish for questionable behaviors.

It's not that he's afraid of angering her or dealing with push back- rather that Astarion's frame of reference for what constitutes a mistake is ah... rather broken. Even in the beginnings of your relationship with Astarion, the mistakes that would anger him constituted dropping an entire building on his head or... risking being turned into a Mindflayer to help some old lady find her cat.

Not feeling up cute boys in alleyways.

As a result you'll likely need to have a few conversations with him about not being so lenient on her, because she needs to have structure in how to behave. Stealing things is in fact, not okay! And Astarion will listen, but he's always going to be a bit more of a friend than anything else.

A total gossip with her, too. You'll catch them huddled around the dinner table at night, both with a glass of wine (this was an argument that Astarion ended up winning, she's allowed one glass a week, but that's all!) in hand shittalking a storm together. Astarion has become the Baldur's Gate equivalent of a PTA mom, he shows up as stylishly as he can and beefs with the parents of whichever children have upset his daughter the most. And then when they get home they just toss it back and forth together.

But I want to stress, just because he doesn't punish her doesn't mean he isn't protective of her. Astarion is more protective than you are.

Once she begins dating you'll find yourself home alone semi-frequently, because Astarion will play the supportive, loving father part when she leaves- and immediately follow her out into the dark. He's had centuries to know what dangers lurk around every corner, and foggy memories of simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time before his nightmare began. He won't allow that to happen with his girl.

And it's funny, because Astarion will talk mad shit to himself while he does it. Logically he knows that she's with some teenage boy or girl, but it doesn't stop the petty, emotional side of him from rolling his eyes and sneering at the cheap one-liners and the dumb tactics that this would-be charmer utilizes. Really, taking her into dark alleys to get her to tuck into you? Going to a totally secret spot that Astarion has known about for at least a hundred and sixty years? Get real, kid.

And you have to try valiantly not to laugh when he comes home, huffing and puffing about it. Because you will hear every single petty thought he had the entire time, and you will know that he looks like a petulant child. It's very cute.

All in all, I think Astarion is a reckless, chaotic, petty father. And one that loves his child so, so much. To the point of ruin, to the point where suddenly staying in one place doesn't seem so bad, just so she can have friends. Helping people isn't the worst, just so she can know there are heroes in the world. Suddenly he's learning to bandage scrapes and kiss bruises, and having tears and snot on his clothes mean nothing compared to the grief of the one shedding them. He loves her in ways he didn't anticipate he ever could. Enough to know all of her ticks and secrets, to know when she's lying through her teeth and when she's being devastatingly obvious.

Learning to cook even when he can't eat, listening to her spin a story with a straight face and then- as she's stepping out the door- telling her to be careful with that boy and listening to her groan loudly as the door slams shut, a mischievous smile on his face.

Holding you and dancing you around, cradling you close with all the tenderness he has in the whole of his body and soul. Kissing you, calling you the mother of his child, thanking you for giving him something he didn't even know he'd wanted. A family.

Small and odd, but his.

#astarion ancunin #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin x tav #astarion x reader #astarion ancunin x reader #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

1K notes · View notes

sunderwight · 3 months

Text

Bingqiu AU where SY and LBH grow up as childhood friends (idk maybe they're both at QJP but Shen Jiu is less of an asshole, or maybe SY transmigrates into Random Village Bully Child No.3 when Binghe's mom is still alive -- or both) and there's none of the tension of the idea of "one day Luo Binghe is going to rip my limbs off" for Shen Yuan.

So he and LBH can just be bros! Fantastic! Shen Yuan has never had a little brother before but he's had a little sister, he knows how to do this. Just spoil the cute kid rotten!

It's only fair compensation for how many terrible things LBH is gonna have to endure on the road to ruling the world, after all. SY also feels more freedom to change minor aspects of the plot around, too, like maybe he'll stop Liu Qingge from dying, definitely he can help LBH get a better start to his cultivation journey, and maybe the abyss and xin mo thing doesn't really need to happen...?

The list of things SY considers meddling with ends up including wives.

Like really, come on now, Luo Binghe may be a stallion protagonist but there's no need for that many women. Especially when at least half of them are just increasingly cheap copies of the other half, and that's being generous about it. Some of PIDW Binghe's wives were, frankly, horrible people. And if he's being honest about it, it wasn't fair of Binghe himself to take on that many either. Even if anyone would naturally give their left arm to be the protagonist's wife, after a certain point Binghe just can't spend that much time actually with them! And then he can't form the kinds of deep and meaningful bonds which might actually help heal his trauma!

SY's not looking to interfere too much, of course. Ning Yingying is not his favorite wife, but she's fine. She causes trouble but it isn't on purpose, and she's genuinely sweet and willing to befriend Binghe before he's anything special (although even now, it's obvious Binghe is special). Ning Yingying can stay.

And of course, so can Best Wife Liu Mingyan.

But Sha Hualing? Well, she offers some political advantages, and as the demon wives go she's not the worst. She's kind of iconic and was very popular, but Shen Yuan thinks the harem could do without her scheming and malicious attitude towards the other wives. The cost of harmony was too high for the political bonuses offered, especially when Binghe might as well just take her ancestral lands by force and be done with it. He's going to advise against that match.

And the Qin sisters. Sure there's the legendary threesome, but Wanrong's dead weight and it never struck SY quite right how Qin Wanyue pressured Luo Binghe into sex. The threesome wasn't even good anyway.

Better Qin Wanyue than the Little Palace Mistress on that front, though. But aish, that's complicated, the Palace Mistress is even more politically vital to securing HHP than Sha Hualing is for her father's kingdom, and almost as bad for the peace and harmony of the harem. Ultimately SY will leave it up to Binghe, but if Binghe asks, he's going to advise against the Huan Hua wives too.

With thoughts like this in mind, SY starts talking to Binghe about how to establish a household, what to look for in a spouse (or twenty), and other topics of that nature. What sort of household Luo Binghe ought to strive to have, and what sorts of standards he should himself to. Also while of course assuring him that Shen Yuan isn't interested in women. Lest he worry that Shen Yuan might be trying to steal any of the wives from him, at any point. He's not competition!

SY: I am helping to pave the way for Binghe to have better marital relationships! I am the best big brother slash best buddy ever! don't worry, no matter what happens to Binghe, this gege will be your no.1 cheerleader forever!

LBH: is he saying I should get a palace if I want to marry him? well... that sounds reasonable. ok, I will do it! (•̀ ω •́)✧

#svsss #bingqiu #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain

798 notes · View notes

fleshdyke · 2 years

Text

shidgehejeghe

#tags contain talk abt rape and very young csa #god im reading a fic rn and it mentioned rape and im just like. in my head all of the sudden #bc i still dont fucking know who it was #i started being really hypersexual at like. 6 or 7 so i’m assuming that’s around when it happened #or at least started #and my friend asked me today ‘why do you never remember anything from camp’ bc we went to the same day camp for years since we were like 6 #and i didnt know how to tell her that i lost most of my memories from before the age of 10 for some reason. probably trauma #so i just said idk haha. but like. even though it’s kinda not a lie bc i dont remember any specifics #i know the general gist of why all my memories are gone right. a mix of rape and child abuse and bullying and whatever else happened #but idk. im still so fucking pissed that i dont know who raped me #like to be completely honest i kind of don’t care that i got raped. i can’t remember it anyways and it doesn’t really affect me that much #but like. im absolutely fucking terrified that whoever did it never got caught. im so fucking scared they’re still doing it to other kids #there was a man that was like. kind of an assistant teacher ig in my preschool and kindergarten that got fired for feeling up a kid #and i’m desperately hoping it was him #bc he got fired. he got consequences. not enough but he did. and he cant do that to anyone else now #like. a part of me couldnt care less. its in the past and it doesnt really affect me anymore so idc. i know its not my fault i cant remember #it so i know i can’t really blame myself #and a part of me is just so fucking scared. bc idk if they’re still out there or not. and im absolutely terrified it will happen again #or that no one will ever want me again bc of it or something. bc as much as im not interested i still want people to think im attractive for #some reason. men in particular even though i do not want to reciprocate it at all. i think its the daddy issues #and the last part of me is just so fucking angry. who let this person anywhere near children. why didn’t a single person see the signs.#why me.#idk. a lot of thoughts today #rambles #vent

1 note · View note

religion-is-a-mental-illness · 6 months

Text

I am Sage's mother, better known as Nana. I adopted Sage after my son died when she was still a baby. She's been through six foster homes by then, but we loved her and she blossomed into a joyful, lively girl who made music and art.

Puberty began and COVID hit, and she was treated for depression and anxiety, at times very severe. Her teachers shared any concerns with me so her treatment could be adapted.

The transparency ended in August of 2021 when Sage started high school. She started a public high school and she told me that all the girls there were bi, trans, lesbian, emo and she wanted to wear boy's clothes and be emo. Because I saw it as just a phase, it was fine with me.

But at school, she told them something different: she was now a boy named Draco with male pronouns. Sage asked the school not to tell me, and they did not tell me even though I informed them of her mental health history and medication. If I had known, this would be a much different story.

She was terribly bullied. No one told me. But boys followed her, touched her, threatened violence and rape. Something happened in the boy's bathroom but for two days, the school told me nothing. They kept meeting with Sage alone and she became so distraught they called me to pick her up.

That evening, I found a hallpass labeled 'Draco' and Sage told me she was identifying as a boy, and that her counselor said she could use the boy's bathroom. She'd been jacked up against the wall by a group of boys. She was crying, terrified. I said just stay home, we'll figure it out. That was my last conversation with Sage for five months.

The night she ran, she thought, to a young friend she'd met online, she left a note saying she was scared of what would happen if she stayed. The sheriff, FBI, search dogs were called in. I dropped to my knees in prayer. Nine days later the FBI found her in Baltimore. My baby had been lured online, sex trafficked by DC then Maryland. She was locked in a room, drugged, gang raped and brutalized by countless men. It was night. The FBI told us to pick her up in Maryland the next morning.

We packed our cars with blankets and stuffed animals and arrived by 8 am, but we were told we couldn't see her, and were summoned before Judge Robert Kershaw late that afternoon. They didn't even tell Sage that we came for her. We finally entered the courtroom and Sage appears on a huge Zoom screen from a prison cell. She looks tiny and broken, and I cry out 'I love you Sage.' Sage responds 'I love you too, Nana.' But attorney Anisa Khan rebukes us. She is a 'he' and his name is 'Draco' not Sage. We were floored.

Khan accuses us of emotional and physical abuse, that we are misgendering her, even though we just learned she claims to be trans and we're willing to use any name and pronouns to bring her home. My husband was so tearful he kept forgetting the new pronouns, so the judge had the bailiff remove him from the courtroom. I was pleading for my child to be returned and treated for her unspeakable trauma. Judge Kershaw told me, if I use the word 'trauma' again, he would throw me out too.

For over two months, he withheld custody. He housed Sage in the male quarters of a children's home. Sage told me she was the only girl and repeatedly assaulted. She was given street drugs by the other kids and Khan told her she didn't care. She just wanted to win the case and all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary. Khan tried to prove abuse, but we were eventually cleared by both states of all charges.

Sage later told me Khan had told her to lie that we hit her. Khan even had Sage's school counselors testify against us, though they barely knew Sage and they didn't know us at all. Khan told my precious child I didn't want her anymore. I found out Sage never received any of the letters I sent her.

Sage ran from the Children's Home and disappeared for months. They told me she might already be gone forever, but I couldn't give up and I finally found a tip on her social media that led the marshals to her in Texas. She had been drugged, raped, beaten and exploited. This time I was able to be with her for the traumatic rape exam, and to bring her home.

Back in Virginia, she entered the mental health facility that Judge Kershaw had ordered, as it would affirm her as a male. The therapist began pressuring her to have her healthy breasts removed. Sage was too scared to protest, but she asked me to secretly buy her girl's clothes because she wanted to be a girl, but keep them in the car. It took a kind lawyer, Josh Hetzler to secure her discharge.

After almost a year. Sage was finally home. Safe. Alive. Sage is receiving professional trauma care. The first trafficker has already been convicted. Sage has nightmares, panic attacks, rape-related medical issues, but there's hope. I tell her she's not broken she's just scarred. And part of that hope is that in courageously sharing her story, others will be saved.

Sage said she doesn't know who she was back then. She wasn't a boy, she just wanted to have friends. But her school, the judge, the attorney and the doctor were all blinded by their ideology. The consequences for Sage were unspeakable.

Please don't let ideology harm another child. Let parents do our jobs. We know our children best and we love them a million times more.

Thank you.

Jesus Christ. This girl was exploited by everybody, except for her parents, who were villainized for literally nothing. It's opposite world.

And the fact that everybody with authority prioritized stupid shit like pronouns and trying to coax her further down into a fake identity, even against her will, and other ideological bullshit over her actual wellbeing is disgraceful.

The judge and attorney need to be disbarred, the therapist stripped of their license, and everyone who conspired to separate Sage from her parents fired.

#Sage's Law #HB 2432 #gender ideology #queer theory #ideological corruption #genderwang #safeguarding #child safeguarding #predators #groomers #predatory #gender cult #religion is a mental illness

2K notes · View notes