#i want yall to know im not lazy i went back out there searching for soace stims i just happened to use the same ones again)

[jeonjeonggukenergy]

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au

wordcount ~ 8.5k

warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie

a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️

previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!) 

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect

You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.

Jungkook? What the fuck?

Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.

You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.

~

Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.

After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.

hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )

His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.

"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!

You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.

Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?

~

You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.

"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."

"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"

"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"

You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.

After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.

You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."

"Do you like it too?" you wondered.

"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."

"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.

"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."

Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."

"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.

You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.

Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"

"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."

"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."

You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."

"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.

While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.

Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"

Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"

"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"

"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.

Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.

After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.

He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.

"Is this okay?"

His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.

"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."

Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.

"Well, I've never had sex sober."

Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."

You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"

"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.

"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"

"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."

With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."

Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.

"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."

He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."

"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."

You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.

"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"

Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:

"I love that feeling."

You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"

"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."

"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"

You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.

"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."

His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."

You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."

"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.

"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."

"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"

Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.

"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.

"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"

Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.

"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."

Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."

Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.

"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."

You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.

"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."

In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.

"Your room?" You rushed out the words.

Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"

"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.

"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.

You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.

"Giving you exactly what you want."

"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.

He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."

You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."

He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.

Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.

Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."

Another spank. "Mmmf."

"You like this, huh?"

"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.

"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."

He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.

"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.

"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.

"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.

"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.

"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.

"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.

"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.

"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."

His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.

"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.

"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."

"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."

"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."

Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.

You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"

"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"

"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"

"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.

"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."

To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.

"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.

"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"

"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.

"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."

So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.

You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."

A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.

You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.

Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.

"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.

"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.

A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #my writing #fic: anti-hero #anti-hero #anti hero

[janellion]

HAPPPYYY BOKAY THURSDAYYYYYY!!!!!!!! *que air horns* Anyways would you like to write some 80’s AU Bokay head cannons?? Like how you first met??

TYSM FOR THE ASK BB!! i’m sorry it took so long for me to get to it! this ended up being,, WAY longer than i anticipated? i just went off on one idea so this is less general hcs and kinda how we met and got together! also i made a moodboard for no reason? 

OK SO this is a college/uni bokay late 80s/early 90s au!!

bo is there on a sports scholarship (likely american football or maybe rugby) and also part of one of the frats on campus!!

so he’s not trying as hard as he could be on the academics side

THIS ISNT BC HES NOT SMART

i know a lot of ppl don’t see bo as smart BUT HE IS

he’s just focusing on other things and using his smarts to plan the best parties that campus has ever seen

so as a result of his scholarship, he has to keep his grades up

unfortunately, he’s slipping in a couple of his classes and gets told he needs to find a tutor and that’s where i come in!!

i work at the academic success center (i actually did do this in college!) and so he’s one of the students that i get assigned to work w

our tutoring sessions consist of a lot of him semi flirting but also blushing?

he’s embarrassed bc he’s here to get help even tho he could have done the work he’s just kinda lazy and gets distracted when there’s a million other things on his plate

like practice and workouts and training and the ton of frat events he attends

so the flirting is a lot of “you look different today, did you get a haircut or something?” “actually i slept like 3 hours thanks for noticing” and then awkward silences

bc im over here thinking ‘WHAT THE FUCK THIS GUY IS SO HOT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON SPANISH LITERATURE WHEN HE LOOKS LIKE THAT AHHHH’

at least at first?? but then he does all this cute stuff during tutoring sessions like chewing on the end of his pencil or doodling little notes in the margins of his books, or using cute photos of his family back home as a bookmark

and then it goes from just appreciating him as eye candy to ‘well shit i kinda wanna love him forever’

we go on with tutoring for a while, but eventually bo’s grades pick up and he doesn’t need the appointments anymore

both of us are a little too shy and awkward to say anything on the last session so we both go home at the end just kicking ourselves for not asking for a phone number or to meet up or anything

we don’t see each other for a while

or at least bo doesn’t see me for a while

i go to all of his home games and cheer him on but he doesn’t know bc i like to sit at the top and leave before the crowd heads out

but he’s always searching the crowd at games, trying to see if i’m there, and feeling a pit in his stomach whenever he sweeps the crowd and doesn’t immediately see me

one night some months later, after the season has ended, i’m waking back to my dorm through greek row bc i’m a slut for architecture and none other than bo is walking out of one of the large building wearing a toga, a crown of poorly painted gold leaves around his head, his face flushed, and a huge grin on his face

i stop in my tracks momentarily at the sight, wondering if i’ve actually passed out in the library and am dreaming

but then bo’s voice calling my name is ringing through the sounds of the party drifting through the open doorway behind him and he’s bounding over, the grin on his face growing

as he gets closer, i see the flush in his face and the slight stumble in his step and brace myself for impact as he crashes into me for a hug, his arms wrapping around my waist and lifting me up

“uh bo???” i’m blushing and trying to free myself from his grip ok i’m not trying that hard WHO WOULDNT WANNA BE IN HIS ARMS

but he’s just grinning and laughing before setting me down and grabbing my hand, pulling me into the brightly lit doorway and up the stairs of the house

“i’ve been kicking myself for not asking you out ages ago so let’s go out now!! we could get burgers or just walk around the city or get ice cream or go skinny dipping or —“ he cuts himself off, looking back at me with wide eyes as his smile drops for a moment while he lets go of my hand

“oh my god i mean if you want to of course i’m so sorry this probably seems so creepy and pushy —“ he babbles on, his facial expression now one of panic instead of excitement

i just laugh, still kind of thinking that i’m dreaming, and reassure him with a squeeze of his hand and a small smile, “bo no that all sounds amazing, i’d love to. i was hoping we’d run into each other too”

at this, his grin returns to his face as he continues bounding up the stairs and down a hall, before pulling me into a bedroom

“aren’t we moving kinda fast?” i tease him as i look around the incredibly chaotic room

bo turns around with a shocked look on his face before it melts into a grin and a hearty laugh as he sees the teasing look on my face

“i’m just getting changed! can’t go out on the town in a toga,” he calls over his shoulder as he walks to the closer. “don’t look,” he turns around and waffles his eyebrows at me with a grin, before pulling out a shirt and some jeans

as he gets changed, i turn around and look around the the room, not failing to notice the sticky notes littering his desk, little messages and reminders that i’d written for him during our tutoring sessions

i feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see bo, eyes excited and face still slightly flushed, but now fully dressed

he sees me eyeing the sticky notes on his desk and blushes even more, a hand going to rub at his neck before he’s laughing and grabbing one, looking at it affectionately before sticking it back down

“they help me stay focused, you know? remind me that i should be working hard. you really helped me a lot”

before i can respond, he’s grabbing my hand and pulling me down the stairs, out the door, and into the fresh night air

we walk around the city, getting to know each other better over burgers before getting ice cream and MAYBE SKINNY DIPPING IDK 👀

at the end of the night, we head back to my dorm, deciding to watch a movie and since “it’s close enough, and we might as well stay up to watch the sunrise” 

we end up putting on a movie, something fun and light like hercules, and cuddle up on the couch, falling asleep just before the sun rises 

+++

THE WAY I COULD HAVE KEPT WRITING I-- IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG AHHH

tysm for requesting this bb!! i rly didn’t think i’d be able to write much bc i don’t rly “get” decades aus? i think it’s bc there aren’t many POC in media from the 80s and 90s and so it’s hard to picture for me! but N E WAYS, this was my best attempt!! it was a lot of fun to write once i got into the mindset!! and thank yall for reading if you got this far?? I LOVE YOU 

🌻 bokay taglist (also my faves): @deadontheinsidebut @stcrryskies @sstardusty @zoni @kuronekomama @anianimol @the-kool-aid-man-is-real @nekoma-hoe @sugacookiies @churochuu @shoyosun @achoohq @miel-meraki @dearest-kiyoomi and i’m tagging @strawberriimilkshake @yamagucciii bc i think y’all might like to see this as well?

#✨bokay thursday✨ #bokay 🌻 #bokuto🌻 kayla #bokay aus!! #i love one (1) man #and its bokuto koutarou

[shytiff]

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing.  there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row. 

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken. 

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd. 

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

[chocojjk]

Eggs

summary: badboy! changbin if you squint 

words: 7k

warnings: one mention of death by illness

a/n: this took way too long cause i got so lazy lmfao, slide into my inbox with prompts cause idk what to write after this 

not edited per usual, im lazy :(((

you and changbin lived in different worlds

changbin has always been the schools most notorious bad boy

along with his group, 3racha

he was the typical bad boy -- gets into fights, wears leather, barely shows up to class, etc.

after watching countless of rom-coms, you and i, reader, should know that bad boys like to keep to themselves

and they won't bother you unless you cross their territory, not at all different from changbin

someone bullies one of his friends???

you might as well run now , because he will be coming for your ass

he catches you talking shit?

you should probably say goodbye to your mouth and have a doctors appointment ready

the point im trying to make is that seo changbin does not take shit from anyone

which doesn't really matter at this point because everyone has learned to fear him

on the other hand, you're, what they say is a “good girl”

too caught up with your books and your grades, in the library 24/7, worrying too much about the future you envision

you stayed away from drama as much as possible, happy with the 2-3 friends that you have  

and,,,

well,,,

you probably saw this coming,, but just in case you didnt, ill say it

your two different worlds are about to collide

---------------

youve been searching for a little over 20 minutes to where he could be when you finally spotted him at the table all way in the back of the library

you let out the deepest sigh, you shouldve figured he would choose that table jfc

‘he really is sticking to his reputation’ you think to yourself as you made your way over to him

“hi, im y/n, i'm your tutor,” you say, giving him a soft smile

changbin doesn't even bother to reply to you as he got up and left

you were left standing there like,,,

what the fuck just happened ??

before you finally snapped out of your confused trance and chased after him

catching up to him you grab his arm, putting a complete halt to his movement

and suddenly the library was even quieter than it should be

every single eye in the room focused on the interaction that lies in front of them

the notorious bad boy and the goody two shoes,,, how incredibly cliche

he looks at you, his eyes dark and unreadable

the expression on his face was emotionless yet it felt like he was crushing you under his stare

finally noticing that your hand was still gripped around his arm, you quickly let go, letting out a small “ehem”

the tension in the air was thick, it felt like someone just put a dark cloud above your head and you couldn’t blow it away

god damn this was awkward

not even the good awkward where you can laugh about it later, this is the kind of awkward situation that hits you in the middle of the night and suddenly you're just cringing at every bad thing you have done in the past

“uhm, im suppose to tutor you,” you try to say confidently as soon as you found your voice, but really it was barely above a whisper

“maybe show up on time,” he says, his voice as dark and as strong as his aura

and with one final look at you, he walked out of there

you didnt bother anymore, you knew you were at fault

‘we’ll try again tomorrow,’ you think to yourself before your best friend, hyunjin walked up to you, pulling you outside the library  

“dude are you okay?”

“uhmm, why wouldn’t i be?”

“i just saw you talking to changbin”

“ok and ?”

“he’s bad news y/n,” your best friend says, warning you

“ i dont really have a choice hyunjin” you reply

you think back to 3 days ago when you were called to the principal's office

not gonna lie, you were shaking in your boots,, only bad kids get randomly sent to the principal's office

as you entered the room, Mrs. Seo was already waiting for you behind her desk

“hi ms. l/n, i dont think weve formally met,” she says, reaching out to shake your hand

“ its nice to meet you”

“ please, sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she continued, pointing to the seat right in front of her

sensing your nervousness she quickly added a, “don't worry, you're not in trouble”

phew

your brain was starting to hurt from trying to rack what you must have done wrong to be seated in the big office

“ why am i here then if you don't mind me asking?”

“ ah yes, i need you to tutor my son”

,,,,,

oh

(◎_◎;)

,,,

“umm, why me?”

“you're top 1 in the class, is there anyone better than you to do it?”

well,,, she wasn't wrong

you mentally pat yourself at the back for this, happy that your efforts were being noticed

“don't worry ms. l/n, if you succeed, i’ll make sure you get into any college that you desire “

‘pshhhh, im top 1 ms seo, i can do that on my own’ you think to yourself 

“....and fully paid for.”

well, shit , how can you say no to that offer

its literally free education right in your fingertips  

what's the catch??

“ you can do that?” you ask

“ of course. i know very important people. so what do you say?”

and after a few minutes of contemplating within yourself, you finally agreed

“ also, while you're at it, i want you to change my son's reputation.”

and there it is

“ i'm sorry?” you reply,, maybe you just misheard the fact that she literally asked you to change her son

“ i don't just want you to tutor him in english, i want you to make him a better person.”

“how do you expect me to do that?”

“be his friend. teach him the ways of life, i'm not always gonna be around to get him out of trouble. You're a smart girl ms. l/n you'll figure it out.”

without giving you a final say, she ushered you out of there but not before she added

“ one last thing ms. l/n, dont tell anyone about this.”

the way she said it was so scary, and its like a spell was casted on you and you could only utter out an

“ of course mam”

i guess from her standpoint, she made sense

“ i just dont understand why Mrs. Seo chose you out of all the people”

“ we’ve already gon over this hyunjin”

“ yeah yeah, its cause youre the smartest of the class-”

hyunjin continues to talk however you’ve tuned him out as your eyes went to focus on changbin, himself

greeting the rest of his friends, an actual smile on his face, much different from the changbin you encountered a couple minutes ago

he gets up on his motorcycle and was about ready to put his helmet on when he felt someone staring at him ( i told yall, tYpiCAl bad boy )

he whips his head around in quick search for the culprit

and for the second time that day, you found yourself looking in the dark brown eyes of the the one and only, seo changbin

his smile quickly disappearing once he found your eyes

putting on his helmet whilst still maintaining the eye contact, he quickly drove away and you can't help but continue to just watch his figure retreat to the size of a dot until he was completely away from your line of vision

the next day - friday

you were in the library, seated in the table changbin used the day before

unlike yesterday, you were there dummy early

exactly 30 minutes before the actual tutoring session

he wasn't going to get away this time

finally , the chair across from you gets occupied, a backpack loudly flopping its way unto the table

he doesn't say a word,

he doesn't even look at you

he just sits there, staring at the table between you guys

“uhm, i think we got on the wrong foot yesterday, im y/n”

you say, a wide smile on your face, trying to change the atmosphere

he scoffs at this

‘omyfuckinggod who does he think he is’

‘im gonna fucking murder this kid’

‘his mom was right when he said he needed to change’

as much as you wanted to just punch him in the face, you plastered a small smile on your face instead

“should we start?” you continue

“i guess”

for the next hour, you learn that changbin doesn’t even need tutoring

he was definitely smarter than he lead on

he knew the answer to every single question you asked and didnt even seem like he was trying 

“uhmm, changbin can i ask you something?”

he just nods at you, urging you to go on

“are you failing your class on purpose?”

and with that he stands up, giving you a small smirk, “i think this session is over,”

“i-okay- i-i’ll see you on monday!” you say even though he was already a good 5 feet away from you  

-----------

as you laid in your bed that night, you wondered why the boy chose to fail his class

but no matter what scenario you could think of, you just cant understand it

is this what privileged people do ?

they know that they can get away with anything so they dont even try ?

‘aish, why am i thinking about him,’

‘y/n stop it’

‘ahhhhh’

you tried forcing yourself to sleep, to completely shut off all thoughts

but damn that stupid smirk on his face just keeps reappearing

and with that you slapped your pillow unto your face, not at all excited for the days to come

saturday night - 9 pm

to be honest, you weren't the type to go out on a saturday night

however you stayed in bed the whole day binging your netflix shows that you completely forgot to run your errands

so now you're here, at the local supermarket, buying your weekly groceries

you may be asking why can't your parents just do it?

well,,,

you only live with your mom, and she was very busy running the night shift at the hospital + picking up extra shifts

so she's really never home 

and when she is, she crashes right to sleep, exhausted from work

so ever since two years ago, when you turned 16, this has been the life that you were used to

you weren't complaining of course, she was only working to provide for you and your future

the least you could do is help around the house

after a good 7 minutes, you finally gathered everything that you needed

eggs, check

bread, check

peanut butter, check

a bag of hot cheetos,,,, check check and check

you nodded, proud of yourself for finishing it so fast and made your way to your car until a loud crash stops you from doing so

the next thing you know, you were being dragged into the alleyway

“1!!!!1111! I- get off of me,” you say thrashing and kicking, trying to get away

‘oh god, im gonna die tonight,’

‘if there is a god out there,, pls,,, not tonight’

‘i haven't finished my netflix series yet,, plssss’

however your thoughts were cut short when your captor whispered, “shhh, its changbin”

changbin??

chaNgbIN???

chANGBIN???

he finally turns you around, making you face him

“play along if you don't want to get hurt,”

and in one quick motion, his lips were on yours,,,

seo changbin was kissing you

your eyes open, stunned at what was happening

and then you noticed it...5 men walking around the area

and hoping that you've watched the right dramas, you pieced together what you think is happening

leading you to closing your eyes and kissing him back

which honestly caught changbin off guard, “good girls” dont react this way???

but he’d never let you know that, as he pulled you closer to him,

his arms snaking  around your waist

your hands going around his neck, the grocery bag being forgotten

yall were full on making out now

too caught up with each other’s taste to even notice the 5 guys leaving

(((im really bad at writing these kinds of scenes jfc, this sounds awkward as hell pls just picture it)))

until finally after like 23823 years, you pulled away, trying to catch your breath

damn, that kiss was good

probably the best one you’ve ever had

what????

just cause you're a goody-two-shoes doesn't mean you haven't been kissed before okay,,, were not going THAT cliche

he slowly lets go of you, his eyes darting to the grocery bag on the ground

“your eggs are broken,” he says

“m-my eggs?”, you reply, still on cloud nine,

following his gaze, you snapped out of your daze

“oh, r-right, my eggs,” you say softly, a frown making its way upon your face

changbin grabs your hand, pulling you towards the grocery store

“what are you doing?”

as usual, he doesn’t reply

honestly, you should be used to this by now

he dashes around the supermarket

you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his fast paced speed

finally, he gets to his location, the egg aisle

“which one do you want?”

“what?”

“eggs, which one?” he replies

“uhm, you don't have to, i can ju-”

“i'm not doing this for you,” he replies, cutting you off

you looked at him , not knowing what he meant

‘if he wasn't doing it for me then who the fuck is he buying these eggs for, i don't see anyone else here’

sensing your dumbness he grabbed a carton of the most expensive eggs and made his way to the cashier, pulling you along  

and you don't know why, or what has gotten into you, but all you could do was watch and follow

“here. were even now.” he says, before walking away, leaving you in front of the grocery store, holding a carton of eggs

monday

and now we’re back to the start of the week

which means another week of tutoring

as you waited for changbin to show up at the usual spot, you can’t help but think back to two nights ago

the feeling of his lips against yours all a distant memory yet at the same time, one that you could still remember clearly

“hey,” changbin says, breaking you out of your thoughts

“hi?” you reply, confused as to why he even greeted you in the first place

you guys do the usual, read a couple of flash cards, learn new words blah blah blah and all that boring crap that you learn in a high school English class

at one point you guys find yourself just sat in silence, and you can’t help but ask the question that’s been on your mind since Saturday night

“so who were those guys?”

“doesn’t concern you”

“uhm, the fact that you had your tongue down my mouth says otherwise,”

changbin was shocked, he wasn’t used to people responding to him the way you just did

don’t you know who he is???

he gives you one of his signature smirks, regaining his composure

“you liked my tongue being down your throat,” he says teasingly

o_O

＜(。_。)＞

excuse me what

is he flirting with you ??

what’s happening ??

“who said I did?” you say mimicking his tone, not allowing yourself to back down of this conversation

after Saturday night you told yourself that you were never going to just watch and follow

if you didn’t want the damn egg, you should’ve said something, you were so disappointed in yourself

you had your own brain, you can make your own decisions

besides you were here to be in control over him, not the other way around

“oh cmon, you’re really gonna try to refute it??” he says, the stupid smirk still evident on his stupid face

god, how you wish you could just smack it off

with your mouth

wait, who said that???

“you enjoyed it just as much as I did,” you say, knowing that if you answer then he would stop

and you were right, he completely shut his mouth and let the silence envelop you once again

“they were kids from another school,”

you look up at him, shocked that he actually answered

“why were they looking for you?”

“I may have keyed their car,” he says chuckling

“Because?”

“Isn’t that enough questions y/n?”

y/n

that was the first time he’s ever said your name

and you weren’t gonna lie, you liked how it sounded

“sorry”

“it’s fine”

“i don’t want to question it but why are you being so nice?”

“you helped me out without questioning me which means you trust me. im just returning the favor.”

“so, what im hearing is , you trust me?”

<(￣︶￣)>

“don’t make me have to say it out loud”

trust

you don’t know how you did it so quickly,

maybe the gods are at your side, but you finally got thE seo changbin to trust you

2  weeks later

you’ve been tutoring changbin just the same

same time

same table

same library

however, so much has changed

mostly the dynamic of your guys’ relationship

it was like he was a totally different person

like I said before, changbin was smart

but in these last couple of days, you realized just how smart he actually was,

he can honestly probably give you a run for your money

and because of this, your past tutoring sessions have ended up with you guys just laughing and joking around

weird, right ?

changbin and laughing ?

who would’ve thought ??

even onlookers were surprised

and everytime changbin laughed at one of your guys’ silly antics, you swear you can hear a pin drop

the whole room just becomes silent

at first, it bothered you how people were just listening in to your conversation, obviously judging the scene

but as the days went by and it seemed that changbin could care less, you started not caring either

and if you were being completely honest, you looked forward to spending time with him

when changbin was with you, it was just you and changbin, nothing else

he somehow manages to make you forget about reality

“lets ditch tutoring sessions today,” he says as soon as he took the seat next to you

“changbin, no”

“c’mon y/n, live a little”

“excuse you! I do have a life!”

“making out with your homework and watching Netflix shows 24/7 is not a life”

“okAy, now you’re just being mean,” you say, pouting at him

“im not being mean, I’m being honest,”

“yeAH and?? no one asked for your honesty,”

changbin laughs at this

lately he found himself laughing more

and for once, he didn’t mind it

you were doing something to him

and he liked it

“cmon, I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says, packing up your things

you sigh in defeat

you know that once changbin sets his mind to something, there's no changing it

so here you are, standing in front of an abandoned music building

“uhhhh, what are we doing here?”

“have you ever trespassed before?” he replies, a smug smile on his face

“nu-uh nope, no way in hell changbin!” you say, your attempt to stop this from happening

however, changbin was already making his way towards the door, completely breaking the lock

aannnndd

he was inside  

“c’mon y/n,” he says reaching out his hand to yours

even though all you need to do is take two steps forward and you're officially a criminal

you were scared shitless

what happens if you get caught omg

almost like he was reading your mind, he quickly says, “y/n, ive been here over a million times and ive never gotten caught,”

“i dont know changbin”

“hm, thats too bad, i wanted to share a secret with you,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice before he stepped out of the building and made his way towards his motorcycle

but of course,,,

you being a nosy bitch

“wait,”

“yes?”

“lets go inside”

you guys enter the building, the rooms getting darker and darker the deeper you go (this building is huge okAY)

if you weren't shitting your pants before, you definitely are now 

an abandoned building???

and its dark???

youve seen this in every scary movie out there

it never goes well

“uhm changbin,” you whisper, as you guys continue to walk

“hm”

“i-um can i hold your hand? im scared and - actually you know what its fine its dumb you dont hav-”

but before you can even finish your sentence, his hand were already laced around yours, providing you the comfort and security that you were looking for

you shut your mouth after that, just letting changbin lead the way

passing by so many rooms, each one looking the same as the other, it was starting to feel like a maze

however , changbin seemed to know exactly where to go

‘I guess he has been here over a million times’ you thought to yourself

“were here,” he says, opening the door and letting go of your hands as he reached out for the lights

not gonna lie, you were missing the way his hand felt around yours but thats not the time to think about that

“a music room?” you asked, clearly puzzled

“yeah, you might not know this about me but i can spit barsss,” he says, letting out chuckle

“eyE”

“you dont believe me huh”

“absolutely not”

“ok, watch this”

and with that he entered the recording booth, of course not after he pressed a bunch of buttons

honestly , you have no idea what he’s doing

but as soon as he put the headphones on

*cue any 3racha song because im too indecisive to choose one*

he was,,

indeed,,,

spitting bars

you could not believe your ears

who the fuck is this

you stood there, stunned at the fact the he was rapping about real shit and not something stupid and meaningless (rip wow, she is meaNinGFUL to me okAY)

after he finished rapping, the room was absolute silent

changbin felt dumb, he thought you were gonna praise him but there you were not uttering a single word,

he need you to say something ,anything,, hell, you can even laugh

he’d prefer anything over the silence  

he’s literally the ‘i just showed u my dick pls respond’ meme but its like ‘i showed u my talent pls validate me’

avoiding to make eye contact with you, he walks out of the recording booth

sitting on the couch against the wall, he finally breaks the silence

“so yeah, thats a song my friends and i wrote, its stupid-”

“its not stupid.” you say quickly

“oh?”

“since when where you into this?” you ask, curiosity filling your eyes, taking the seat right next to him

“what do you mean? music?? everyone’s into music y/n” changbin retorts, not wanting to go into detail

“hhhh, you know what i mean changbin,”

changbin doesnt know why

but he wanted to share this side of him with you

maybe because you were the first person that he has ever allowed himself to be close with

or maybe it was because you stuck around him for this long, no one, besides chan and jisung were able to do that

whatever it was, he wants to keep you by his side

he figured that showing you his true self would do just that

so after having a battle with his inner thoughts, he finally says

“my dad was really into this stuff, he taught me everything i know,” changbin beamed

“oh! thats really cool, do you still make music with him?” you say, genuinely interested, youve never really heard about his dad before

“uhmm, hes not really around for me to do that,”

aaaannd,,, thats why,, god reader smh

“oh, im sorry,” you say softly, mentally slapping yourself

“no its okay, you didnt know….he passed away when i was 11”

“what happened?,,,, y-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to,” you quickly added

“I want to,” changbin says, reassuring you

“he just,,, he just died in his sleep, apparently it was a stroke,” sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears

“you must miss him,” you say, your voice still soft

for the first time since youve met changbin, he resembled a piece of glass

so fragile

he was giving you a piece of him, letting you see clearly a part of who he was

and all you wanna do is make sure that you won’t break that piece

“he built this studio...wanted to start his own music company,” he continued as you sat there just listening to him

“my mom hates it though, she stopped funding this place as soon as she can,”

oh

the mention of his mom suddenly brought you back to the deal that you have made 2 weeks ago

and god, you felt guilty

you were here, trying to change him, when nothing should be changed

sure seo changbin had a bad reputation but he is not bad

he’s just protective is all

to be honest, he was one of the kindest, gentlest soul you have met

“i promised myself that i would continue our dream, for him and me, but mostly for him,”

“i-is that why youre failing your classes?” you ask, everything finally piecing together

“huh?”

“you dont care about school because you already know what you want to do...where you want to be”

“hm, you truly are a smart girl y/n,” he says before nodding and flashing you a smile

those words

so similar to the ones his mom has given you

but this time you weren't in the mood to pat yourself in the back

because shit, this is thE dumbest thing you've ever done in your life

after hearing this, you made up your mind, you werent gonna partake in this deal anymore

if you were really as smart as everyone says, you can get into the school you want without any problem

sure it won't be free, but your mom aint working her ass off during her nightly shifts for nothing

and so, right when you go to school tomorrow, you were determined to end it

you’d still tutor changbin, you just won't accept any of the perks that came along with it

“thank you for sharing this with me,” you say genuinely, a smile creeping unto your face

“thank you for caring enough to listen,” changbin replies, his smile getting wider

and then it hits you,

“wait, so you mean to tell me that this is YOUR studio all along??”

and at this changbin lets out the loudest laugh

and you can't help but mirror his actions

1 week later

oof, that time jump, i thought you were gonna end it the next day reader

welp,,

you work hard, but somehow satan, aka the author, works harder

Mrs. Seo had to leave for two weeks, attending board meetings around the country, and whatever principals do,,, i'm too lazy to research what they actually do  

╥﹏╥

and so you spent another week, with seo changbin by your side

one week down, another to go

and when that day comes, you can finally freely hang out with him without all the guilt eating you up

this week you guys even hung out outside of the library

you’ve been with him so much, even your friends have started to notice it

“y/n, are you coming with us to the movies,” felix asks

“oh,, umm sorry guys, i cant,”

“who else are you gonna be with? i thought we were your only friends,” minho pointed out, a pout on his face  

“with changbin of course,” hyunjin hissed, obviously upset that you have been pushing them to the side  

“ i can hang out with anyone that i want,” you argued, really not having any of his attitude 

“ you shouldnt hang out with people like him,” hyunjin retorted

you scoffed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean blink once if youre being held captive” hyunjin joked, as the rest of the table snickered

however, you didn't find it funny,

who were they to talk about changbin like that??

they didnt even know him

and so you stood up, leaving all your friends calling out for you

-------------

walking to the table, you flopped down on your chair, slamming your backpack on the floor

“what's got you in such a bad mood?” changbin asks

“nothing,” you huffed, getting your materials out of your backpack

you didn't want to tell changbin that your best friends think hes the devil himself and didn't want you around him

meanwhile , changbin was annoyed

it seems like he's shared so much with you since the music room yet he still barely knows anything about you

he wondered that maybe you didn't want to be in his life the way he wanted to be in yours

but fuck it, he’s just gonna spend the time he has with you enjoying it rather than filling his mind with negative thoughts

but damn, you're frown was really bothering him

“y/n,” he says, calling out to you

no response

“y/n,” he continues, poking you on the elbow

still no response

“y/n”

You sigh, looking up at him, an emotionless expression on your face, you responded with a strong, “what.”

*insert changbin doing aegyo*

and with that , you lost it

you were an absolute madman

you never expected that the one and only seo changbin

notorious badboy

would ever do aegyo

all because you had a stupid frown on yourself

you laughed so loud

changbin doing the same as soon as your melodic laugh hit his ears

which resulted to you guys being kicked out of the library

-------------

“ i cant believe you got me kicked out of my favorite place,” you say, seated in a booth inside the ice cream parlor near your guys’ school

another one of changbins ideas

“ hey its not my fault you laugh like a hyena!” he says smiling before you threw a curled up paper tissue at his face

a couple of seconds later, after your laughter has died down

“ so, you want to tell me now why you were in such a sour mood?”

you knew that if you werent gonna tell him now that would still end up finding out about it from someone else

and so you came clean

“ its just my friends,,,, they dont think youre a good influence, wants me to stop hanging out with you” you say

“ oh,”

“ but dont worry!, i didnt listen to them, i actually told them off,” you confessed

“ why didnt you listen to them? theyve been your friends longer than youve known me?” he asks

“ because they dont know you” you reply, “and im sure if they did, they would also be friends with you”

as much as he appreciated the way you stood up for him, he didnt want you going through all that trouble 

‘god, what did he even do to deserve an angel like you,’ changbin thinks to himself 

“ don't tell them off next time,” he grunted

“ wh-what?”

“ everything they say about me is true”

“ changbin, no its not”

“ honestly y/n it doesnt bother me so dont let it bother you”

“ why doesnt it bother you?” you ask, wanting to know the reason

“ because its high school. after this, literally no one would care anymore. and then real life starts, people move on and worry about bigger things, things that actually matter more than the status quo. let them say what they say.”

and just like every other time, changbin has left you stunned

the arrival of Ms. Seo - tuesday 

a week has passed since the ice cream parlor

and Ms. Seo was back in town

this was it

the day you finally put a halt to it

and you were beyond ready

you haven't seen changbin all day

you figured that since his mom was back then he was also back to avoiding the school like it was a plague

you entered Ms. Seos room, determined

“Ms. Seo -”

She puts a hand up to her lips, signaling you to be quiet

‘bitch omygod i literally cant keep doing this any longer,’

‘its already been over a month’

so you ignored her warning

“im not doing this deal anymore. I’ll still tutor changbin but I won’t change him,,,, and you can keep your stupid money,” you let out, releasing all the bottled up emotions

“is that all,”she replies

“yes”

“then you may leave”

what???

it was that easy????

you thought she was gonna stop you, force you to hold your end of the bargain

if you knew it would’ve been this easy then you wouldn’t have worried over it so much

but you don’t know a lot of things

and you certainly didnt know that changbin was on the other line

later that day

you’re seated in the library

usual place, usual time, waiting for the one and only seo changbin, yet he never showed

you didn’t think much of it

‘maybe he just forgot’ you tell yourself

the next day - wednesday

here you were again, waiting for him

still nothing

you try and think of reasons why he wouldn’t show up two days in a row and can really only think of one - maybe his mom told him that he didn’t need tutoring anymore?

but surely, he would tell you

right ???

sure you guys started off on the wrong foot but you were friends now

at least you thought so

you decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt

‘maybe he’s just busy’

2 days later - friday

you’ve tried everything you can do to get a hold of changbin

all your calls went straight to voicemail

texts were left on delivered

you didn’t even see him around school anymore

it was like your worlds never collided and he was never a part of yours

you were starting to get worried, what if he got himself into trouble

“look who decided to show her face,” hyunjin comments as you took the seat next to him

ever since the day you guys had your argument, you have never been able to talk to him about it

“im not in the mood,” you reply,

hyunjin sensing that you were exhausted,

“hey,” he says softly, “what’s wrong?”

“nothing”

“y/n please, we’ve been friends for over 3 years, you don’t need to lie to me”

“aren’t you mad at me?”

“no. im upset that you’ve been pushing us to the side for your little boy toy but im not mad,” he says giving you a soft smile

hhhhh, it was times like these you remember why he was your best friend

hyunjin was just so thoughtful, so caring

you return the smile he gave you as you pulled him in for a tight hug

“I’m sorry hyunjin”

“it’s okay, im sorry too, now tell me what’s wrong?”

“it’s just changbin-“

“I swear to god, if he even laid a finger on you he’s a dead man”

“no!” you say quickly putting an end to his assumption

“so what happened?” he asks, eyebrows going up in sheer curiosity

and then you told him

you told him about the deal with Ms. seo

about how your relationship with changbin changed along the way

how you ended the deal

and now we’re back to changbin and ignoring you

“damn, well have you tried actually going to him?”

“i wouldnt even know where -”

and then it hits you

the abandoned music building

“hyunjin, youre a genius!!!,” you say excitedly

“thanks, we been knew”

“ i have to go ill explain later, bye!!” you say, dashing out of there as fast as you could and made your way to the abandoned building

taking the bus there gave you time to reflect on everything that has happened this past couple month

how much your life has changed since changbin entered it

he pushed you to take risks, to live out of your comfort zone, to not care about other people’s opinions

he made you feel free

and most importantly, he made you happy

the good girl has fallen for the bad boy, i told yall this was gonna be cliche right?

continuing on

just as you  expected, the door was open

the dark didnt even bother you anymore, the only thing in your mind was changbin

oh,, where could he be??

could you ever find your way into this maze of a building and retrace the steps that he took when he was by your side?

as you got deeper and deeper into the building, you feel yourself start to get lost

‘fuck i already saw this door’

‘omg y/n did you really just walk in a circle’

and then you hear it

music, singing

your nightingale

you walk faster, desperate to get to the voice

and here you are now, face to face with the one and only, seo changbin

he stops singing as soon as he saw you walk in

“hey,” you whisper out yet he continued to just stand there, not uttering a single word

“your voice is really pretty, i didnt know you could sing!-”

“what do you want?” his voice, dark and firm just like the day you first met him

This caught you off guard

Did you do something wrong?

“Did i do something wrong?” you say, not aware that you have said your thoughts out loud

changbin chuckles but it was so uninviting, like he was taunting you

“ please, drop the act”

?????

“what?” you reply, completely confused

“ you dont like me ”

“ changbin, what?”

“ you're just like everyone else”

“ changbin i really dont understand pl-”

“ i shouldn't have trusted you.”

“ what?!??, no changbin, you can trust me! just tell me whats wrong!”

all the while, you guys were still talking with a glass between the two of you

ironic, since you felt like a wall has been planted around changbin and you cant reach him  

“ you think i should change”

“ no”

“ what do you mean no? I heard you y/n! I heard what you told my mom, i heard about the stupid deal, the stupid money!”

(⊙…⊙,)

“ changbin, let me explain”

“ i know im known as the bad boy y/n, but you… youre even worse than me”

“ changbin.”

“ youre a monster”

and with hearing those words, the tears that you have been so desperately trying to keep just bursted out like a waterfall

changbin too, has let out his tears

and all we got now are two broken people who can clearly see each other yet are still on opposite sides of the glass

“ you're just like everyone out there that you have resented, you judged me by other people’s words, i thought- i thought that i can finally found someone i could open up to but you never even gave me chance from the beginning”

you let him talk without interrupting him

you deserved the ache you were feeling in your heart

everything he said was true

and with that he breaks down, straight to the floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees

and all you could do was watch, until you couldn't take it anymore

you finally entered the recording booth , taking a seat on the floor right next to him, mimicking his broken figure

“im sorry”

silence

you looked up at the ceiling as you sighed

he deserves an explanation

“ yes, i took the deal, but that's because i thought i needed it changbin. I may be smart, but financially my family isn't doing well. my mom already works extra shifts but it still won't be enough. my dad isnt even in the picture, i dont know where the hell he is”

and with this, changbins head slowly perks up, looking at you with his glass-like eyes, as you continued to stare at the ceiling

you were finally opening up to him

just like how he has been doing

“ i took the deal because, you’re right, i judged you, i was stupid and i never expected us to actually be friends, clearly i was wrong. you have taught me so much. you have pushed me into doing things i never thought i could do. you made me see the world in a different way.”

he’s still just listening to you when you finally took your eyes away from the ceiling and faced him

“ i understand if you dont want to see me anymore but i cant leave you knowing that i never got to say this,” you continue, afraid of the results that were about to come

“ what else are you hiding from me?” he says, but this time, he says it softly, the furious changbin that you have encountered just minutes ago was completely gone

“ i think im in love with you,” you say, quickly looking down, embarrassed at your confession

“ y/n look at me,”

“ i dont want to”

“ why?”

“ i know you're gonna break my heart”

“ you broke mine first,” and with that he lifted your chin up, making you look him straight into his eyes before kissing you

this kiss was different from your first one

it was slow but passionate, filled with all of the unsaid words between the two of you

your guys lips both slightly chapped from all the crying

yet his lips still felt like the softest pair against yours

pulling away, changbin leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed

yours were open though, taking the sight all in before you pulled away, wiping away his left over tears

“ god, were a mess,” he finally says out loud, before he pulled you in a tight hug 

“ im sorry,” you say again

“ i’ll forgive you if you promise to continue tutoring me?”

“ what ?”

“ continue the deal, get the money”

“ changbin, i really don't want to do that”

“ i know you dont. but we have to finesse my mom somehow,” he says, bursting into a smile, clearly joking

…

..

“eYE,,, i cannot believe you right now! You can't be serious!”

“ but i am. go back into her office tell her you’ll continue it and get the money for your education.”

“changbin! stop joking! I already feel bad about it!”

“Okay fine i just like it when you tutor me okay, its kinda sexy” he says

playfully slapping him, you guys laugh, the tension in the air finally gone

“ you know if you didnt buy me those eggs, we wouldnt be here by now,” you say, a small smile on your face

“ hmm, and why?”

“ because those eggs were the first time i realized that the most notorious bad boy, the one and only Seo Changbin, can also be soft,”

“ do not use my name and soft in the same sentence ever again,”

“ what are you gonna do about it?” you reply, taunting him

and so

he pulled you into another kiss

and another

and another

until a series of laughter coming from the both of you interrupted it

“im glad i bought you those eggs”

hhhhhhh this ending is so rushed and so bad i just didnt wanna leave it unfinished 

ALSO IM SEEING STRAY KIDS BITCHES!!!!!,,,,,, MY SEAT HELLA FAR BUTS ITS OKAY BECAUSE ILL STILL BE THERE ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯

#stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #seo changbin #seo changbin au #seo changbin scenario #stray kids changbin #changbin #changbin au #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenarios #stray kids scenario #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin x you #stray kids soft #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #seo changbin fluff #seo changbin angst #3racha #lee felix #lee minho #lee know #hwang hyunjin

[miseryff]

19. Sit Down

Paris

My weekend spent in Houston,TX was nothing short of litty! Besides the no having sex due to my period, I spent a wonderful three days with Derrick. Now I was back in Long Island and I can not say that I missed the towns that much. It was minutes to noon on Sunday and the only thing on my mind was getting some sleep because I had to go back to work tomorrow. 

Damn, this adulting shit had no pause button.

“Where’s your lil boyfriend at, London Paris?” I rolled my eyes at my dad, and only sipped on my bottled water as we awaited Derrick’s arrival. My dad orchestrated the whole gathering with my mother. The plan was to have Derrick and I have a Sunday brunch so that they could get more acquainted with him. I honestly do not know why they want to be familiar with Derrick so badly. I mean its not like he would be coming around them that often anyways. I was still in the hot seat for flying to Houston against my parent’s wishes though, so I had to play nice and agree to this sit down.

“Chris, leave her alone.” That was my mom coming to my rescue, for once. I side eyed her just as the door bell rang. She must have got some dick last night because she’s been extra kind to me since I pulled up to the crib earlier this morning.  I motioned to get the door but my big ass, dinosaur ass pops was already sprinting down the hall. I fake chuckled before looking over at my mom. She was already staring at me, being all weird. “Ma, you gucci?”

“What do you mean, baby?”

“I mean you being fake nice for some reason. Dad dropped some dick off last--”

“Paris, stop. I am not one of your lil ho friends. Don’t talk to me like that.” I could not hold in my laughter as I looked into her guilty eyes. She was trying so hard to keep her face neutral but shawty was blushing OD. “Ewww, yall need to get back together already--”

“The man of the hour is here!” My sentence was cut short by my father’s extra boisterous voice. I looked over into the doorway and there stood Derrick, looking even more sexy than he did a couple hours ago when he dropped me off at home. He went to his aunt’s house to fake nap and freshen up, since he had about two hours before he needed to be back at my house. This man looked like an advertisement for raw sex and I wanted him. Damn, I wonder I could suck him--

“Paris, hello? You not gonn introduce ya man to my fine ass baby moms? Fine, I’ll do it myself. Lil rude ass.” I blinked a few times before leveling my eyes from the front of Derrick’s grey dress pants, and meeting my father’s eyes. I heard Derrick chuckle as he and my father walked more into the kitchen. “Clean ya mind, ma” Derrick mumbled as he brushed past me lightly.

I could hear Derrick and my mom getting acquainted, so I used this time to pull my dad to the side to set some shit straight. “Yo...”

“Who you yo-ing, lil girl? Run that shit back.” I made the stank face as I watched him undo the wrapper from a yellow Starburst. But I’m the lil girl? “What, Paris? Speak up.”

“Can you not embarrass me today in front of my nigga? You do that a lot and I’m not with it the shits. I don’t even wanna be here for this bullshit mixer brunch, so--”

“When do I ever embarrass you, Paris? You do that job perfectly well  by yourself’ like when you lied about entering a rehab program for the weekend, only to have ya smart ass daddy pop up on ya baecation.” He showed me the yellow Starburst in his mouth before pulling me into a hug when I turned to walk away. “Dadddd...”

“Hush up and hug me back. I ain’t gonn embarrass you, aight?. I can tell you like this kid and he aight so far, so ima be on my best behavior.” Those words placed a tiny smile on my lips so I wrapped him back tightly, snickering when he started whining. “Old ass nigga! I heard a couple bones crack.”

“Fuck outta here, bum!” He pushed me away from him a little too roughly and I caught my balance before punching him in the chest. “Yeaa, talk yo shit now gramps.” I went to punch his bird chest again but my mom saved his slow, tired ass.

“Can yall beasts stop playing in my kitchen? Lets sit and eat before the food gets cold. Waiting on Derrick’s turtle ass all morning and shit.” The loudest laugh left my lips and I walked over to Derrick who was wearing the ‘I ate ass’ face. “Ma, don’t shade my baby. Do you see how he looks? His fine ass had--”

“Yuck.” That was my hating ass pops. “Cmon man, lemme save you from this thirst bucket I call a daughter.” He rudely pushed me out the way and dropped his arm over Derrick’s shoulder as they walked out the kitchen. My jaw hit the floor  once I heard the two roar in laughter. It was then my mom’s laughing that forced me to tear my eyes from the two. “Ya dad has a  man crush Mondaaayy” she sang as she walked around my frozen body. 

“His gay ass!”

XX

Brunch went... well?

We actually ate and there was no shit that popped off. My dad was on his best behavior, as promised, minus the corny attempts to make Derrick laugh. I never thought I would agree with my mom’s opinion ever but she was right, Dad had a MCM... and it was my nigga.

“I fake wish Cae and Carter was here. I gave them money for the mall because I thought it would be a shit show.” I joked as I watched my mom gather up the plates from the table. I would get up and help her but that’s what my lazy ass pops was for. “Really? I was wondering why they was dressed and speeding out the door. They bout to spend off ya money in that mall.” My mom chucked lightly as she continued to stack the plates.

“Dad, go help mom bring the dishes to the kitchen and leave my nigga alone. He can not and will not hook you up on the Js dropping next week. Fuck outta here.”

“Paris, shut ya ass up. Now like I was saying--”

“Chris, I need help for real. Fuck dem shoes.” Derrick and I shared a laugh as we watched my mom staredown my pops. “Really, Alana? You think that glaring shit still work on me?”

No more words came from my moms mouth. The room would have been silent but Derrick and I were being goofy as shit and laughing like a bunch of school girls. Maybe another minute of my mom staring down my pops passed, before we heard his chair scrape against the wooden floors. “Simp ass nigga” I coughed loudly. “Damn, some shit was stuck in my throat.”

Can yall believe my grown ass pops sent me the middle finger? “And one for you too, Derrick. To think I had an ally in this bitch. That’s when they smile in my face...” He sand off key as he followed my mom out of the dining room. More laughter filled the living room and I had to wipe underneath my eye with my tank top because my dad was really a dickhead. Wow.

“Ya pops funny as shit.” Derrick chuckled some more, and then made a face when I pulled him out his seat by his arm. “Where we--”

“Shut up, and hurry up.” I whispered as I ushered him out of the dining room and down the hallway. I could hear my parents conversing in the kitchen and loud laughter as I started up the staircase. “Where we going, Paris?”

“To my room, Derrick. Now shut up.” The slap that was sent to my ass did nothing but make me more wet than I already was. Do yall know how hard it was to sit across from this sexy ass nigga and not be able to feel his dick down my throat? Shiiiidddd.

Once we entered my bedroom I turned the lock and pushed him up against the door. “I’m bout to suck fire out ya dick, just in case you was about to ask me what I’m doing.” I winked at him before dropping to my knees and working on his dress pants. His dick print was pressed up against his pants and I knew his dick wanted nothing more than to find refuge in my mouth.

He said nothing, only took a grip of my jet black hair and guided my head to his already hard dick. Opening my mouth slowly, I deep throat his shit in one try, and felt a feeling of accomplishment once I heard his low grunts. 

Oh yea, he’s mine.

Derrick

Paris is crazy.

I don’t remember the last time I did this high school shit; where a shawty snuck me up to her bedroom to get the work. Then again, she just left high school last year so it made sense. My bottom lip sunk into my mouth as I watched her get busy on my dick. I can’t lie, Paris gave the best head I have ever had in my life. Its like she was a pro at this shit and she was tryna suck the brown off my dick. I loved it.

“You like how my dick taste?” I spoke lowly as I tightened my grip on her straight black hair. Paris as a blondie was fire, no debate, But Paris with the jet black hair? Lets just say my dick was never on soft around her. She got it. “I love how your shit tastes. This my shit.” That was another thing I loved about Paris. The raw, NYC lingo. She spoke like a crip nigga but looked like a Hampton socialite. That was a fire ass mix.

Before I knew it both of my hands were are the back on her head and I was face fucking the shit out of her. And best believe mama kept up. No hands, on some Waka Flocka shit. “Yea, this yo shit.” Pulling her back by her hair, I watched as my dick slid out her mouth. “Open up,” a smile touched my lips as I watched her follow my every direction. It did something to me watching her welcome my spit into her mouth. After she licked her lips, she took my dick back into her mouth and finished me off. Pulling her up to stand, I pressed my lips to hers before switching places.

She was now laying with her chest against the door and I quickly pulled her black leggings down her legs. “Im still on my period, babe.”

“I know...” I mumbled as I searched for the condom in my wallet, As soon as I was wrapped up, I hiked her leg up and slid into her wetness with ease. “Fuckk,” we cursed at the same time. 

“You better fuck the shit out of me. And make me cum.”

Oh yea, she mine.

[ablackchicnolalife]

Should I visit New Orleans during the Coronavirus Pandemic?

More than ever now, people are asking me, “Hello. I wanted to ask you about New Orleans right now how is it with all this COVID 19 stuff. I was thinking about a vacation down there, but trying to see if it’s even worth it?” My initial response is, “It depends on what you want to experience.” And more often than not, the person would end our conversation with, “I hope I get to meet you when I’m there.” I found myself repeating myself daily, so I decided I would blog about it.

As I mentioned, it really depends on the what’s and why’s of your visit. What type of New Orleans experience did you plan on having? And why are you traveling to New Orleans?

Laissez less bons temps rouler???

The good news is if you are like me and absolutely love everything about New Orleans and want to dig deep into the heart and soul of New Orleans, I say, “Laissez les bons temps rouler.”

I’ll be straight up with you; New Orleans is not the Party City USA; it was before Coronavirus. We are currently in Phase 2 and staying until the end of August. Phase took looks like this; NO PARTYING, NO Nightlife, absolutely NO walking down Bourbon St or thru the French Quarter with a Hurricane or Daiquiri. There’s a restriction on all ToGo Cups, meaning you can not go into any bar or daiquiri shop and walk out with a drink. If you want to drink, you must stay inside that establishment, and many are closed or have a cap on how many customers they can serve. Therefore, if you were planning to party, club hop down Frenchmen to hear a live band, walk down a jammed pack drunken crowd down Bourbon or show off your footwork at a New Orleans Secondline, I suggest you postpone your trip.

The time is now!

Right now is a perfect time to Experience New Orleans! If you ever been here, especially during the festival season, you know to allot for drivetime and waiting in line during your stay. It’s hard to believe that there are no crowds, no wait, and no traffic in New Orleans at this moment. Imagine making reservations at one of New Orleans’s top restaurants and being seated as soon as you arrive. I went to the Country Club a few times, and we had the entire courtyard to ourselves, including the pool and jacuzzi! Restaurants are sending out the freshest, hottest, and tastiest food than ever. I was given 5-star treatment at the Hilton riverside during my weekend staycation, and parking was free!

I can go on about feeling like a Diva while Being a Tourist in New Orleans, but the reality of it all is all this fabulous treatment means businesses are losing money, and our tourism industry is at risk. I think…And this is why I say come to those of you who want to get to know my city.

Come get lost in New Orleans.

The city will open up to revealing all of her joys, secrets, and treasures. As you walk down our beautiful old streets, you will realize that you made the right choice to visit. New Orleans has a rich history and culture that you can explore, be it on a walking tour or going to a museum.

Redecouvrez $3,000.00 – $5,000.00 Redecouvrez is a French word meaning “to rediscover.” For many New Orleanians, the task of rebuilding has been a process of rediscovering a great city. The artist cleverly tells the Katrina story using only four houses. Giclee measures 23.5 x 44 and is signed.

I believe the only way to experience New Orleans is on foot. I do not drive in the city. I either walk it out or bus it, and I love it as it allows me to truly enjoy the perks of living in such a vibrant town. I always discover things that are hidden in plain view. The architecture of the city, the small intricate details that had to been done with a tried aching hand, or retracing my playful childhood steps makes for the perfect day. Plus, while I’m out, I’m always taking pictures, and I get to look back and see just how beautiful New Orleans is. So, make sure to snap as you go through the city and pay attention, search high and low as you will discover the true meaning of New Orleans.

https://animoto.com/play/Ok5SIRYxSCFWWK1Gdv7fbg

Cemeteries are big with tourist, I grew up with them being on my block and do not understand why someone would want to visit a tomb of someone they do not know, but I know how they can pull you in. I spent my childhood using the exits as shortcuts, and the cemetery was the backdrop for Spooky Hide in Seek. There are cemeteries you can visit for free, but everyone flocks to St. Louis #1 Cemetery because Marie Laveau and other NOLA Icons are buried there.

https://nolachic.blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/20637534_2005237599502102_1737174822233833472_n.mp4

Befriend a local

New Orleans is only what she is because of the locals, so if you have a friend here, you’re good! New Orleanians makes New Orleans come alive, we give her a heartbeat, a soul and a voice. Nothing compares to visiting  New Orleans and being greeted by a thick accent welcoming you to the city, and sadly this is what you will miss. To Experience New Orleans, you need a local to shine the way. Interacting with the locals is what makes New Orleans one of the top traveled cities in the world. It doesn’t matter if you do not know anyone personally. Still, engaging with the hotel housekeeper, taxi driver, bartender, and all those who are working to make your trip sooo New Orleans is crucial to your vacation. I highly recommend joining a NOLA social media group, be a follow a blogger and New Orleans fueled hashtags and engage in the conversation. I have befriended several people. Actually, I have a few good friends through sharing my NOLA experiences on social media.

Be a Foodie

If, by chance, you are reading this between Saturday, August 1 – Sunday, September 13, 2020, you will be pleased to hear that the annual Coolinary New Orleans Restaurant month is happening now. Coolinary New Orleans, the yearly summer dining promotion, returns at a time when restaurants need help the most.

https://www.neworleans.com/coolinary/

But even if the date has passed and you are a foodie, it’s your time to eat your way through New Orleans! Find small local, family-owned restaurants, eateries, snowball stands, and bars is a great way to help these small business owners keep their doors open. There’s no going wrong with eating in New Orleans, besides a few pounds, but embrace the NOLA weight! It means you were having the time of your life!

  Restaurant Review of the Desire Oyster Bar coming soon

Enter a caption

  Stay and Shop Local

If you follow me, you know, I’m anti-Airbnb, but some New Orleans homeowners have been able to benefit from the business, but not as many as those who live out of town even as far as overseas! By staying in the community, you will have the feeling of living like a local, but you have to really want to experience that lifestyle. It makes no sense to book an Airbnb in an urban community and go from the car to the door and repeat. Venture out, if only sitting on the porch and speak to your temporary neighbors. New Orleanians typically lookout for those on their block and may have a relationship with the owner, which is great for you, so speak. A simple smile, wave, and hello will do. Hospitality is a must in New Orleans. We give it and love it in return.

After you did your research about the neighborhood, I suggest you venture out to the cornerstone, a local boutique, nail salon, or neighborhood bar. Many small businesses may not have popped up on your internet search, and the only way to find them is to go out or ask a local. New Orleans has Kid ran businesses, and they would love your patronage! There may be a Pop Up Shop where you can find everything New Orleans from crafts to tasty pralines. You may have a day where you want to relax in the backyard or porch, listening to our local radio station. On those days, you may want to walk to the corner store, which is actually part liquor store. Every New Orleans neighborhood has a cornerstone or gas station where you can get you some delicious cheap eats, including $1.99 breakfast platters, seafood po’boys, and other local favorites.

$1.99 #nolabreakfast: Grits, scrambled eggs & hot sausage patty. I had to get a donut & Im counting my #pineapplebigshot as juice 🤔😂 To all yall tourist, you can get this at any corner store, there’s the Basin St. Market right off Canal.

Support your local corner store!! Yall want a meat special, chicken wings, pig lip? Come holla at me lmao.

  NOLA is Family Friendly

It’s also a great time to bring the kids. Bourbon Street is clean enough to eat on, and it’s basically sin-free. All of the Audubon Institutes are open, such as Audubon Zoo and The Aquarium of America, but reservations are needed. Museums are open, and so are the parks. City Park is open but not Storyland, which is my favorite, but you can do outdoor activities like canoeing, paddle boating, and bike riding.

My Baby Girl enjoyed walking down Bourbon Street! The few times I brought her down Bourbon Street were usually during parade season, and we would walk so fast all she remembers was walking on beads and a thick crowd, but this time she was able to leisurely stroll down the street, and she made sure to walk smack dead in the middle of the street. She danced to the beat of the teen boy drumming his bucket, and she proudly gave him a tip 💵 Yes, she is definitely a #nolakid 🥰⚜️🎭🥁✨

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New Orleans and COVID-19

Lastly and most importantly is that you follow all of the Corovirus guidelines from the CDC and for our city. Our mayor, Mayor Latoya Cantrell, is not playing about the safety of all her citizens and visitors. She will shut it down and bring up back to Phase 1 if the numbers increase. Research is essential here, because we may not be in the same phase as your town. Bring a mask, a few masks to be precise, as masks are required inside every building. Make sure to practice social distancing and proper and frequent handwashing, and all will be fine.

Make sure to visit the City of New Orleans’s website at https://ready.nola.gov/home/ for the latest Coronavirus information. And remember, we are in Phase Two through August 2020.

 Phase Two: Safer at Home

Continue to stay home except for essential needs and other permitted activities on a limited basis.

Everyone must wear a mask or face covering when performing activities in public.

Practice social distancing, wash hands often, and frequently disinfect surfaces.

Let me add that from my own experience as well as in hearing, the airlines require a mask, but social distancing is not put in place as we were told. Planes are at capacity flying into the city more than out I here I was traveling with my family so having someone in the middle seat was ok, but I do not know how I would feel if it wasn’t my family. I’m going to Chicago, so I’ll let yall know if I had an anxiety attack.

As always, practice personal safety.

If you practice safety awareness, you will have the upper hand no matter what city you live in or the towns you visit. Really, it all comes down to this. If you feel like you’re somewhere, you shouldn’t be, then leave. Don’t carry cash or show off, aka flaunt your stuff.

Here’s a short video of me speaking on safety here in New Orleans, as well as things happening on my block today.

New Orleans is full of incredible life adventures outside of what you see during the Mardi Gras season. So, come on down and get drunk off New Orleans without indulging in liquor! Yes, come on down, let the essence of the city intoxicate you! Come get drunk in love off the spirit of New Orleans as you take in all that she is. Bring your significant other it will make for the perfect romantic vacation!

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  Should you visit New Orleans during COVID-19 Pandemic? Advice from a New Orleanian Should I visit New Orleans during the Coronavirus Pandemic? More than ever now, people are asking me, "Hello.

#coronavirus #COVID19 #NewOrleans #nola #pandemic #review #tourism #travel #visitneworleans #visitnola #tourist

[ablackchicnolalife]

Should I visit New Orleans during the Coronavirus Pandemic?

More than ever now, people are asking me, “Hello. I wanted to ask you about New Orleans right now how is it with all this COVID 19 stuff. I was thinking about a vacation down there, but trying to see if it’s even worth it?” My initial response is, “It depends on what you want to experience.” And more often than not, the person would end our conversation with, “I hope I get to meet you when I’m there.” I found myself repeating myself daily, so I decided I would blog about it.

As I mentioned, it really depends on the what’s and why’s of your visit. What type of New Orleans experience did you plan on having? And why are you traveling to New Orleans?

Laissez less bons temps rouler???

The good news is if you are like me and absolutely love everything about New Orleans and want to dig deep into the heart and soul of New Orleans, I say, “Laissez les bons temps rouler.”

I’ll be straight up with you; New Orleans is not the Party City USA; it was before Coronavirus. We are currently in Phase 2 and staying until the end of August. Phase took looks like this; NO PARTYING, NO Nightlife, absolutely NO walking down Bourbon St or thru the French Quarter with a Hurricane or Daiquiri. There’s a restriction on all ToGo Cups, meaning you can not go into any bar or daiquiri shop and walk out with a drink. If you want to drink, you must stay inside that establishment, and many are closed or have a cap on how many customers they can serve. Therefore, if you were planning to party, club hop down Frenchmen to hear a live band, walk down a jammed pack drunken crowd down Bourbon or show off your footwork at a New Orleans Secondline, I suggest you postpone your trip.

The time is now!

Right now is a perfect time to Experience New Orleans! If you ever been here, especially during the festival season, you know to allot for drivetime and waiting in line during your stay. It’s hard to believe that there are no crowds, no wait, and no traffic in New Orleans at this moment. Imagine making reservations at one of New Orleans’s top restaurants and being seated as soon as you arrive. I went to the Country Club a few times, and we had the entire courtyard to ourselves, including the pool and jacuzzi! Restaurants are sending out the freshest, hottest, and tastiest food than ever. I was given 5-star treatment at the Hilton riverside during my weekend staycation, and parking was free!

I can go on about feeling like a Diva while Being a Tourist in New Orleans, but the reality of it all is all this fabulous treatment means businesses are losing money, and our tourism industry is at risk. I think…And this is why I say come to those of you who want to get to know my city.

Come get lost in New Orleans.

The city will open up to revealing all of her joys, secrets, and treasures. As you walk down our beautiful old streets, you will realize that you made the right choice to visit. New Orleans has a rich history and culture that you can explore, be it on a walking tour or going to a museum.

Redecouvrez $3,000.00 – $5,000.00 Redecouvrez is a French word meaning “to rediscover.” For many New Orleanians, the task of rebuilding has been a process of rediscovering a great city. The artist cleverly tells the Katrina story using only four houses. Giclee measures 23.5 x 44 and is signed.

I believe the only way to experience New Orleans is on foot. I do not drive in the city. I either walk it out or bus it, and I love it as it allows me to truly enjoy the perks of living in such a vibrant town. I always discover things that are hidden in plain view. The architecture of the city, the small intricate details that had to been done with a tried aching hand, or retracing my playful childhood steps makes for the perfect day. Plus, while I’m out, I’m always taking pictures, and I get to look back and see just how beautiful New Orleans is. So, make sure to snap as you go through the city and pay attention, search high and low as you will discover the true meaning of New Orleans.

https://animoto.com/play/Ok5SIRYxSCFWWK1Gdv7fbg

Cemeteries are big with tourist, I grew up with them being on my block and do not understand why someone would want to visit a tomb of someone they do not know, but I know how they can pull you in. I spent my childhood using the exits as shortcuts, and the cemetery was the backdrop for Spooky Hide in Seek. There are cemeteries you can visit for free, but everyone flocks to St. Louis #1 Cemetery because Marie Laveau and other NOLA Icons are buried there.

https://nolachic.blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/20637534_2005237599502102_1737174822233833472_n.mp4

Befriend a local

New Orleans is only what she is because of the locals, so if you have a friend here, you’re good! New Orleanians makes New Orleans come alive, we give her a heartbeat, a soul and a voice. Nothing compares to visiting  New Orleans and being greeted by a thick accent welcoming you to the city, and sadly this is what you will miss. To Experience New Orleans, you need a local to shine the way. Interacting with the locals is what makes New Orleans one of the top traveled cities in the world. It doesn’t matter if you do not know anyone personally. Still, engaging with the hotel housekeeper, taxi driver, bartender, and all those who are working to make your trip sooo New Orleans is crucial to your vacation. I highly recommend joining a NOLA social media group, be a follow a blogger and New Orleans fueled hashtags and engage in the conversation. I have befriended several people. Actually, I have a few good friends through sharing my NOLA experiences on social media.

Be a Foodie

If, by chance, you are reading this between Saturday, August 1 – Sunday, September 13, 2020, you will be pleased to hear that the annual Coolinary New Orleans Restaurant month is happening now. Coolinary New Orleans, the yearly summer dining promotion, returns at a time when restaurants need help the most.

https://www.neworleans.com/coolinary/

But even if the date has passed and you are a foodie, it’s your time to eat your way through New Orleans! Find small local, family-owned restaurants, eateries, snowball stands, and bars is a great way to help these small business owners keep their doors open. There’s no going wrong with eating in New Orleans, besides a few pounds, but embrace the NOLA weight! It means you were having the time of your life!

  Restaurant Review of the Desire Oyster Bar coming soon

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  Stay and Shop Local

If you follow me, you know, I’m anti-Airbnb, but some New Orleans homeowners have been able to benefit from the business, but not as many as those who live out of town even as far as overseas! By staying in the community, you will have the feeling of living like a local, but you have to really want to experience that lifestyle. It makes no sense to book an Airbnb in an urban community and go from the car to the door and repeat. Venture out, if only sitting on the porch and speak to your temporary neighbors. New Orleanians typically lookout for those on their block and may have a relationship with the owner, which is great for you, so speak. A simple smile, wave, and hello will do. Hospitality is a must in New Orleans. We give it and love it in return.

After you did your research about the neighborhood, I suggest you venture out to the cornerstone, a local boutique, nail salon, or neighborhood bar. Many small businesses may not have popped up on your internet search, and the only way to find them is to go out or ask a local. New Orleans has Kid ran businesses, and they would love your patronage! There may be a Pop Up Shop where you can find everything New Orleans from crafts to tasty pralines. You may have a day where you want to relax in the backyard or porch, listening to our local radio station. On those days, you may want to walk to the corner store, which is actually part liquor store. Every New Orleans neighborhood has a cornerstone or gas station where you can get you some delicious cheap eats, including $1.99 breakfast platters, seafood po’boys, and other local favorites.

$1.99 #nolabreakfast: Grits, scrambled eggs & hot sausage patty. I had to get a donut & Im counting my #pineapplebigshot as juice 🤔😂 To all yall tourist, you can get this at any corner store, there’s the Basin St. Market right off Canal.

Support your local corner store!! Yall want a meat special, chicken wings, pig lip? Come holla at me lmao.

  NOLA is Family Friendly

It’s also a great time to bring the kids. Bourbon Street is clean enough to eat on, and it’s basically sin-free. All of the Audubon Institutes are open, such as Audubon Zoo and The Aquarium of America, but reservations are needed. Museums are open, and so are the parks. City Park is open but not Storyland, which is my favorite, but you can do outdoor activities like canoeing, paddle boating, and bike riding.

  My Baby Girl enjoyed walking down Bourbon Street! The few times I brought her down Bourbon Street were usually during parade season, and we would walk so fast all she remembers was walking on beads and a thick crowd, but this time she was able to leisurely stroll down the street, and she made sure to walk smack dead in the middle of the street. She danced to the beat of the teen boy drumming his bucket, and she proudly gave him a tip 💵 Yes, she is definitely a #nolakid 🥰⚜️🎭🥁✨

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New Orleans and COVID-19

Lastly and most importantly is that you follow all of the Corovirus guidelines from the CDC and for our city. Our mayor, Mayor Latoya Cantrell, is not playing about the safety of all her citizens and visitors. She will shut it down and bring up back to Phase 1 if the numbers increase. Research is essential here, because we may not be in the same phase as your town. Bring a mask, a few masks to be precise, as masks are required inside every building. Make sure to practice social distancing and proper and frequent handwashing, and all will be fine.

Make sure to visit the City of New Orleans’s website at https://ready.nola.gov/home/ for the latest Coronavirus information. And remember, we are in Phase Two through August 2020.

 Phase Two: Safer at Home

Continue to stay home except for essential needs and other permitted activities on a limited basis.

Everyone must wear a mask or face covering when performing activities in public.

Practice social distancing, wash hands often, and frequently disinfect surfaces.

Let me add that from my own experience as well as in hearing, the airlines require a mask, but social distancing is not put in place as we were told. Planes are at capacity flying into the city more than out I here I was traveling with my family so having someone in the middle seat was ok, but I do not know how I would feel if it wasn’t my family. I’m going to Chicago, so I’ll let yall know if I had an anxiety attack.

As always, practice personal safety.

If you practice safety awareness, you will have the upper hand no matter what city you live in or the towns you visit. Really, it all comes down to this. If you feel like you’re somewhere, you shouldn’t be, then leave. Don’t carry cash or show off, aka flaunt your stuff.

Here’s a short video of me speaking on safety here in New Orleans, as well as things happening on my block today.

    New Orleans is full of incredible life adventures outside of what you see during the Mardi Gras season. So, come on down and get drunk off New Orleans without indulging in liquor! Yes, come on down, let the essence of the city intoxicate you! Come get drunk in love off the spirit of New Orleans as you take in all that she is. Bring your significant other it will make for the perfect romantic vacation!

  Should you visit New Orleans during COVID-19 Pandemic? Advice from a New Orleanian Should I visit New Orleans during the Coronavirus Pandemic? More than ever now, people are asking me, "Hello.

#coronavirus #COVID19 #NewOrleans #nola #pandemic #review #tourism #travel #visitneworleans #visitnola #tourist