Tumgik
#i want to write about rob coping with his survivor's guilt and finding happiness with his friends
gamebunny-advance · 3 years
Text
Confession + Self Reflection
I think I’ve gotten too caught up in trying to draw the things I *think* y’all want to see, instead of the stuff I actually want to draw. I dunno if that’s why I lost my motivation before, but I can definitely see that being a factor in my burn-out.
And ya know, I feel like I go through this cycle every time I get into a new fandom: I do one thing that suddenly gets a lot of traction and inflates my ego, I start trying to capitalize on it, then I think of one huge story that I want to tell because now I start thinking about that thing all the time and start theory crafting about it, but then I get so overwhelmed with the one big idea that I start chasing after small ones to fill the void that are less emotionally satisfying to follow through on, so I stop loving the thing and burn out until I find something new to latch onto and start the process again.
It happened with Animal Crossing, it happened with the Problem Solverz, it happened with Smash, and now it’s happening with NSR.
Like, great, I’ve identified the problem, but I don’t know what to do about it. Because I started focusing on trying to be a crowd pleaser, and although I *want* to work on the big passion projects, they’re just so daunting that I can’t the motivation to continue anything I’ve started. I’ve lost sight of what made me happy about the thing to begin with.
I think the solution is to just force myself to work on the passion projects in spite of my fear of actually working on them. Those passion projects do make me happy without the need for outside validation because I find catharsis in them, but my lack of skill and confidence are holding me back. Somehow, I’ve got to get rid of those feelings and just go for it. Even if I dread working on it in the present, I think the finished product should justify the effort. I’m gonna try to keep telling myself that, and hopefully I’ll finally get somewhere.
8 notes · View notes