#i want to share this again bc why not

[ohitslen]

Part two of the thing and uuh also final one

Of this interaction. Because this is far from all I can give, my brain almost imploded from all the ideas

#after some very heated talks between the two brothers Vash said he would leave the house for a good time #suggesting they both needed time apart and Vash needed to learn how to live without Kni #very reluctantly Kni agreed (even if he didn’t V would have done it anyways) with the single condition of letting him know the general #details about his livings. the adress. who he was living with if he decided to room with someone and at least their phone number in case #of an emergency. Vash agreed to this and put the limit there bc Kni wanted to know more but he said no I won’t tell you about their life tf #WW who is comfortable living at the orphanage doesn’t find convenient commuting for over 2 hours everyday to get there #so he is looking for a place to stay. Vash mentioned wanting to share a rental home w someone to split the spendings #and so the stars aligned and they were already planning their moving four days after meeting each other #because that’s Vashwood for you #imagine the delight of being either WW or Kni and finding out about each other thanks to Vash again #neither of them want to tell Vash about what they think of each ither. Kni to keep some sort of face and ‘peace’ with his brother #and WW doesn’t want to leave a bad impression saying he was the cause that the brother of the guy he was planning to live with couldn’t see #with his right eye for a whole week. so they hate their guts and Vash doesn’t know the why though he can grasp a general idea. #but he always hits bullseye making both WW and Kni glance at each other silently with their eyes saying #“DID YOU TELL HIM?’’ ‘’DID-YOU-TELL HIM??’’ #trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun stampede #vashwood #trigun fanart #vash #wolfwood #nicholas trigun #nai saverem #millions knives #Trigun Uni! AU #lenssi draws

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[eggbagelz]

gale voice here feel the pulse of the magic in my heart that will eventually be the end of me. im on my knees before you like an animal showing its belly. im in excrutiating pain bc of the contact with the magic in my heart but please dont take your hand away please dont stop touching me

#gale of waterdeep #paydja plays baldur's gate #the relationship a lot of the companions have with their bodies is fucking fascinating #but gale and karlach's relation to their heart and to human contact is particularly compelling #i cant say who has it worse bc thats a stupid comparison to make when they both have hearts that could literally detonate at any moment #[ik that karlach cant do human contact at all and gale cant but im talking abt emotionally significant contact which is smth they share] #but rn im focusing on gale ill talk abt karlach later #hes so interesting like hes initially played as arrogant but i think that whole thing with mystra #really fucked him up bc he talks abt himself like hes. not a means to an end per se but u get the gist #you can see the way he talks abt sense and sensuality and emotional connection but as soon as you actually offer it via flirting or just #genuine compliments hes always surprised and always changes the subject #partially out of like. emotiona damage and partially bc he doesnt want to go boom #ANYWAY WHAT IM SAYING IS hes in pain bc of the contact being made with the magic that makes up his heart but #by god please dont take your hand away. please dont stop touching him. please #i hate this fucking game i hate it so much #chattering #sorry for the analysis it WILL happen again #im talking abt gale rn bc hes my favourite and currently the character i know the most about via gameplay #but there is PLENTY i can say abt everyone #god i keep saying this but its like why are you so good sometimes and also so bad. fucking Larian.

[puppyeared]

i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

#im joking #i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture #and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet??? #its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure #i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^ #i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th #story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get #that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel #like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty #so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then #i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why #idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens #but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes #smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can #be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn #yapping #oc talk

[myersesque]

so like. what is the general consensus abt getting gale's orb tattooed on u. bc i relate to him n his backstory a fuckton and Really Want It (no promises i'll listen to the general consensus, i just wanna know what it is)

#like. am i good to go or am i signing myself up for eternal fandom discourse #for the record what it represents in the story is kinda WHY i want it #i am very aware of what it means #again i find him super relatable to the point i cried through his entire quest lmao. watching his cutscenes sometimes feels like watching- #-myself from an outsider pov. #i think i want it so bad bc it's like. a physical metaphorical manifestation of that very real trauma feeling that we share #and representative of surviving and getting past the specific flavour of abuse that we both experienced #and also. chronically ill gang lmao #idk. it means a lot to me and it's sorta a darkly hopeful sorta symbol in my brain #not bc of mystra or netheril or whatever. bc of GALE #but again. if i'm going to be yelled at and told i don't understand his character if i do end up getting it #i want to at least be emotionally prepared for that #no guarantee i will get it. no guarantee i won't #i'm just thinking abt it n want input #og #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #id

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

why does everything have to be a hecking issue with my sister

#she keeps getting on my case about the Theatre Boy thing which I would just like to hecking leave in the past #she keeps getting on my case bc I wear short shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops AROUND THE HOUSE AS LOUNGE CLOTHES #she's like DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT MODESTY and I'm like YOU WALK AROUND IN SHORTS AND A SPORTS BRA ALL THE TIME #(possibly bc I thought I could get away with wearing lounge clothes with a long shawl thing overtop the other day to worship practice #but I did in fact change my trousers after my mama pointed out that it wasn't super modest) #she keeps making comments about how I do inappropriate stuff on my phone bc I... watch one(1) sitcom????? #shows like that are IRREVERENT AS HECK like come on of course I'm not going to be totally open with my kid sister about them #I am an ADULT I can make my own choices about what content I will put up with in media #I can make my own choices about clothing if I think my mom's idea of ''anything more than an inch above the knee #is immodest'' is silly and restrictive for my body shape and comfort level personally #like... why does she have to act so high and mighty around me? she's in MIDDLE SCHOOL and I know I haven't always been the nicest to her #but I'm making the effort. I'm trying to get along with her and what I get is disdain on the daily in return :/ #our mom said it's probably bc she was hoping I wouldn't move back in so she'd have our room to herself and now she's mad #that I'm back bc she has to share a space again and like I KNOW middle school ages SUCK I've BEEN THERE #but still I just. want to get along. but she picks on me and then I get frustrated and then I snap at her and it just doesn't end well #it's a nasty cycle tbh. I'm praying about it. #Lu rambles #personal #delete later

[danothan]

weird question but it came up in conversation recently and now i’m curious: if you had repressed memories, what was it like to have them resurface?

personally, i don’t think my life was better living in “ignorant bliss,” but i can’t rly say i’m glad i remembered either. i wonder how other ppl feel abt this kind of thing. i’ve been living w the UNrepressed memories for the amount of time i had forgotten now, so ig i’m just thinking abt it more w my bday coming up. wow that’s crazy, i’ll have remembered for longer than i forgot

#using general statements here bc i hope you can understand that i’m not asking abt specific details #but i do think it’s interesting to talk abt! and nice to know that there are so many types of experiences for sharing smth in common #danbles #it’s also rly interesting to me that some ppl can tell the difference between memories they’re repressing #and memories they simply just don’t remember #to me it all just feels like stuff i remember or i don’t #none of my traumatizing events felt traumatizing in the moment so they just feel like. Events #ohhh shit is this why i’m numb to my intuition. holy shit you guys i feel like i made a level 9 therapy revelation just now #i’m rambling tho. again if anyone wants to share their own thoughts/experiences i would love to hear 🫂

[zoekrystall]

Happy birthday Lobos <3

Everyone go wish my friend @gaylos-lobos a happy birthday (and show love to their art) 🫵

#luxart #if I would have had more focused this could've been more polished but *throws hands in air* whatev it's still nice #first time drawing julia and oh straight hair is so not my thing. feels weird to draw but hey #ibispaint says I spent 15 hours on it #this was drawn w a finger on a phone. still need to get the hang of it after having been traditional and (pkmn) art academy on 3dsxl #plus break between then and now #as most artists do did I say fuck it by the hand holding the book or i would've been too frustrated to finish #fuck it main tags why not #fire emblem #fe julia #still feels weird starting to share my art esp bc own style is not fully there yet #anyhow love ya lobos you're a treasured friend #glad I was able to finish this drawing I knew I wanted to do smth this year again a good while ago #esp w how so many supposedly anarchist or anti fascists germans are either still whining 'complicated/both sides' or full pro israel am I #glad to have someone that also lives here and actually got a backbone #go show love to their art and also fics on ao3!!!!

[risingsunresistance]

#tags that make me Incredibly Happy #and the reason i know about the fics is because of the smpblr community who did a bunch of digging on the forums 😌 #even tho im a hypixel player i had a really hard time navigating the forums until like. last year 😭 #i deleted the posts when he wiped his forums account but reuploaded them when he passed away bc it didnt feel right to keep it to myself #i didnt want them to be lost on the wayback never being shared again #that's why the post above revolution might seem kinda weird. it was written shortly after he died #or maybe a few months idk i lost track of time around then *(&@()%&*(^ #chat

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE

I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???

I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H

Okay so

I...

have been cooking

by which I mean illusions of grandeur and

schemes

And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.

I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.

The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home

“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.

Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and

Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.

OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).

Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).

There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol

WHICH REMINDS ME

The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.

And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS

I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa

I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing

I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)

and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)

I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH

anyway

OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think

#i have been #a tad reluctant to use the tag list #since because I scrapped the whole plot and genre and started over #feels like a teensie bit of a betrayal? #so idk i think i need to make a post (way fucking shorter than this one) and tag everyone and see who still wants to be tagged in stuff? #or maybe im close enough to the finish line i shouldn't do tag list stuff anymore? I'm kind of wary of oversharing bc #i totally did before #and the word count is smaller now #and there aren't like Plot Twists #it's a romance we all know how this is gonna end #so idk that's mostly why i've been quiet like haha what should i say and to who? #But anyway this weekend I'm going to get my shit together and put up some posts and get the ball rolling again #share some excerpts #get people excited #put out a call for beta and sensitivity readers #you know. work lol #also i missed you and i'm glad you're back <3333 #my notes were sooooo quiet lol #and i don't just mean on my writing stuff i love seeing all of your tags in my activity like Yay that's my friend!! And they're yellin!!! #we love to see it <3 #anyway #:)

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

ok ok so you know how my life has majorly revolved around my pain since july & how that has been extremely difficult :) well lately I find myself getting up later than I want to & making my bed as badly as I possibly can & getting out of the house after noon when I planned to get out in the morning & walking to the library when it’s sunny & sitting there for hours & the whole time I’m most concerned with writing & that it’s incredible what I’m doing, it’s a little paradise

#you know how I hoped September would be kind to me well it delivered #I actually didn’t realize how mentally poorly I was doing until I got out of it ! #like oooooof it’s like a chronic pain veil #& to be very honest it’s because I’m physically better so I cannot blame myself and I don’t lol bc there will be a time when that happens #<< again #I mean better loosely I just mean I haven’t had 8/10 pain every day for weeks LOLLL #but it’s really quiet and beautiful & im grateful !!! like yay I can still create ! #I’m not thinking abt my pain 95% of the day now it’s probably about 40%? 50? so a lot but I’m literally not every single thought LOL #sometimes it’s even like 20! not even cuz anything is getting better bc it’s not but I will take it even if idk why!!! #(& by nothing is getting better I mean meaningfully better but I have been blessed with some good days lately which I had none #of all summer) #I say this bc every day I wake up and immediately think OH GOD MY PAIN which is so valid bc it’s awful in the morning getting up is like #falling into a black hole Lol but also while that thought is still there I also thought #wow I’m so excited to write today I’m so excited to see what Jeremiah does #HE IS THE NARRATOR OF HEALING #also like SOOO PRIVILEGED to be able to do this like I also wanted to say that! #anyway update for u since I know I have shared the Despair but none of the beauty yet lol #lots of love chronic illness/pain bbs <3

[skullfragments]

as i’m sitting here past midnight working on good omens fanart, laughing to myself as i ponder the possibilities of expanding the ridiculous good omens x high school musical crossover i threw out there, i realize that perhaps my friends have, in fact, chosen not to watch good omens (despite my insistence on its quality) simply because they do not want to be subjected to this new flavor of brain worms from yours truly

#i’ve rly been thinking about it and i think this might rly be it #not in like a mean way or anything #but in a ‘i do not want to receive stupid memes about these two characters 24hrs a day’ #or ‘dear god sara you pulled me down the stucky rabbit hole and look at where it brought us’ #‘i’m not doing this shit again’ #sorta way #i have so many silly ideas and i can’t share them bc what if they DO watch it!! #i can’t risk spoilers!!! #i need one of them to watch it and be insane with me #force them to hear my dumb jokes #well gomens specific dumb jokes lol #good omens #they’re conspiring against me!! #two of them have read the book so like!!! #WATCH THE SHOW #<- ok yea exhibit A of why they don’t wanna get involved in All of That #whatever cringe is dead

[penrose-quinn]

I hope my three day trip with my friends will finally put my mind at peace. I just feel so lonely...

#pen rambles #not the kind of lonely i'm missing out on ppl #more like the kind of lonely i enjoy this one thing by myself #it's probably my fault for keeping my hopes up for a bit #and yes i'm being v dramatic for still getting hung up on it #i don't really have another place to vent on this (and i really hope this is the last from here) #a part of me wants to blame something #i think it's lame and tiring going back to 'gl chp 11 must be that bad' and dragging myself down bc of the lack of reception #but i wouldn't feel this way if i didn't care a lot abt it #i still love that chapter #i still love gl a lot #it got me through rough times. i almost lost my job bc of my health issues #and i couldn't stop writing for it even when commuting got so bad or i couldn't sleep or eat properly for days #so if you love it so much why can't you just suck it up and be content with that? #i'm trying really haha #it just gets lonely loving it sometimes #esp when you decide to share it #i always feel like i'm talking to myself (which isn't very far off tbh) #i'm still going to write but i just hope this feeling wears off soon #okay! i'm done whining and i'll be disappearing again

[lume-nosity]

did something in my graphics class today. hashtag i tried forward slash hashtag gold star sticker moment

#☁️ lume speaks #gonna drop this here and let it melt #take a random post (yet again) bc why not #not sure if this counts as content but… who cares #hope you guys like the bulky boy :3 #adobe illustrator kept crashing on me </3 #i also still can’t get over the fact that. my school paid for almost every single adobe program. AND I’M GRADUATING SOON SO I CAN’T #<- CAN’T EXPLORE THEM DUE TO THE LACK OF TIME I HAVE LEFT???!?!?! LOUD SOBBING #THEY GONNA LOCK SCHOOL EMAILS BY THE TIME WE GRADUATE SO I’LL LOSE THOSE PROGRAMS ☹️☹️☹️ #whatever we’re just. gonna try to use them over vacation. (keyword: try) #on another note i don’t do art i’m terrible at it (but this is a silly little coffee cup i wanted to share anyways)