#i want to die every day

[tariah23]

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

#it’s just??? #at the end of the day all these people want to do is draw and write their stories and share them with the world #why is death from stress the end game for so many of them #this should not be part of the package when finally deciding that this is what you want to do with your life #rambling #I still never got over miura’s passing man #and Togashi is still here but he’s been suffering from the consequences of overwork #it’s just… all so bleak #fans just need to learn to be patient if these changes are ever made and to be respectful #your fav series is not gonna die just because you can’t get it right now #I’m glad that gege does this now like he takes a break every 2-3 chapters and that’s good #this should be normalized

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate. #you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you #think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth. #then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty #house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive #this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died. #and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first #place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever #given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and #you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's #everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you #have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love #more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me. #real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you. #and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love. #lit #the hunger games #everlark #otp: real or not real? #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #text #tais toi lys #thgpost

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[kirkwall]

why are ppl out there going "this thing is canon" "that thing is canon" in regards to bg3. who hurt you that you need to canonize things in an rpg with thousands of choices this badly

#i promise you will not die if the thing you really love is not canon #every day i am going thru dragon age discourse 2: electric boogaloo #nina talks #nina plays bg3 #let me know if u want me to tag this as discourse bc trust me i get it

[lotus-pear]

do you ever think about how in the day i picked up dazai side b dazai had to lie emotionless and soulless—like a corpse, almost—beside the man that gently brought him in, nursed his injuries, held him while he was in pain? he had to keep those suffocating bandages around his entire face, lest this man gain some sort of recognition for the little boy he saved. he had to lay there curled in the fetal position, bleeding and in pain, perhaps thinking about how, in another life, this man cooked for him, tried to build up his strength. read to him to pass the time while he curled up against him like a child listening to a bedtime story. played cards with him. saw through the heartless mafioso. the ruthless killer. and instead saw a boy.

imagine knowing this man, the man who saved you in more ways than one, was going to die one day all because he knew you. because he reached his hand into the darkness and plaintively, like a small child wanting a parent's touch, you grasped back desperately. imagine thinking all of that while that man is just a stone's throw away, making coffee in the next room just like he used to for you in another life. the scent, although you've never been here before, is reminiscent of home. and the tune he's humming? it's the silent melody that plays through your mind seven years later, for the last time as you fall backward off the building with your arms out like an embrace. but, hey. that man is alive. he's happy, although he never knew you. you can die with no regrets.

#guys i actually cannot stop thinking about oda and dazai someone save me PLEASE. the day i picked up dazai ruined my fucking life #dazai makes me so fucking miserable every time i see him in beast i just start fucking sobbing #absolute TRAGEDY of a character #he was fucking fifteen in this. and he knew the entire time. he knew oda would die. before even meeting him #bsd #the day i picked up dazai #ermmm found this in my drafts and i wanted to post it sorry guys i sound emo asf

[why-the-heck-not]

Trying to listen to podcast to calm down to sleep -> loud as fuck ad. Trying to check something quick from a youtube tutorial -> first gotta watch 2x 30 second unskippable ads. Trying to go to a website -> 2 popups and an ad video automatically start to play. Trying to listen to the radio while driving -> 7 minutes of uninterrupted ad time. Every single free app with those shitty game ads with the stupid annoying ass king. I’m tired !!! I never wanna buy anything ever again !!!!!!!

#watched youtube and skipped the ’’this video is sponsores by’’ only to get hit with 2 30sec unskippable ads and I just deleted the youtube #app from my phone with pure rage I’m fucking tired of ads everywhere all the good goddamn time #nYx PLuMpIng GLoss pLumP yOurSeLf Up BabY go fucking die #(also im tired so im unreasonably mad at every minor thing rn but like this has been the sentiment for months) #(should’ve gone for that walk I was thinking abt would’ve been much calmer) #(bc now rage deleted all the ''fun''' apps from my phone it's now just the essentials in there (tho did keep podcasts & Spotify bc those I #refuse to give up) like idk this better stick I want phone screen time of 1-2h per day) #april 2024 #2024

[soullessjack]

a collection or mood-board of sorts

#cal.txt #glitter text #animated text #shitpost #autistic characters #autism representation #jack kline #spn #autism #your fav is #ID: your autistic favs do fuck! me. I’m fucking them. die mad about it #image posting #image collection #autism memes #autism stuff #blorbo tag #your fav #every day I remember that jack is literally a grown ass romance-feeling sex-wanting autistic adult infantilized for his autistic traits #and then I die a little bit inside #but will that stop me from carnal posting ab him? absolutely fucking not. he’s pretty and I want him and that’s never gonna change #sexualizing autism is actually crucial to beating ableism im so serious

[silverview]

charlie day & mary elizabeth ellis in how it ends (2021)

#charlie day #mary elizabeth ellis #i CANNOT stop staring at his tummy it's going to haunt my dreams every night till i DIE #im going insane about this whole exchange #his cocky little smirk and double thumbs up shjsfdkj #right after this she also implies she wants to TIE HIM UP #my gifs #cd

[iwasbored777]

You know what effs me up it's that when Gwen thought she's not welcome in her home before talking to her dad she takes the picture of her and Miles and leaves, as the only thing from her home that she wants to keep, and when she reunites with her dad and they're happy together the first thing she does is going to find Miles cuz she just doesn't feel complete if she doesn't have Miles no matter homeless or not or whether she has a device to travel through dimensions or not or happy or not she will keep any part of Miles that she has with her and that's what matters most to her.

It just makes the fact that she was cornered by her father who didn't let her move on after Peter and Miguel and Jessica who were forcing her to stay away from Miles even worse. And the fact that her dad knew she found happiness based on that photo had so much impact on his character development. She's a child who wanted nothing more than to be with her friend and that was the one thing that she wasn't allowed or wasn't able to do, some failed to see that, and those who saw that took advantage of not just her feelings but also her personal problems and demonized her for having any feelings and problems.

And it's so great that she has all her friends now, the real friends, who actually care about her.

#rewatching atsv and or gwiles scenes to keep me alive before i go to see barbie these days #gwen's character arc effs me up every time #and the fact that miles didn't know just how much he means to her #he didn't know half of it #spider man across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #gwen stacy #miles morales #spiderverse #no he didn't know any of this #he thought she doesn't want him #he can die or decide that he doesn't want to see her again he will never know #leave me alone #i forgot to tag #gwiles #ghostflower

[novelconcepts]

In watching more interviews with Liv about Van and the escalation of Van's pragmatism to such dark degrees, I find myself genuinely baffled that anyone could ever think Van the bad guy. I mean, I'm perplexed at finding ANY of these girls The Bad Guy. The bad guy is the situation. It's being lost. It's freezing. It's starving. It's being scraped down to the barest bone of being alive. They make choices that might be snippy, or cruel, or hard-headed, sure--Shauna refusing to just hash it out with Jackie; Jackie being too stubborn to come inside; Taissa refusing to discuss her situation plainly; etc--but by the time we reach the end of season 2, it doesn't even matter. Petty bullshit doesn't matter. Jealousy doesn't matter. Those things are still going to be present and complicated, because--for all their choices, for all the distancing they're trying to do--these kids ARE still human beings. But it isn't the point.

The point is survival. Plain, simple, straightforward. Van's pragmatism is survival. It is the difference between living another day with blood on your teeth or dying pretty. It is the difference between fighting forward through the fire and the snow and the hell of it all, and laying down to die. Van knowing, in watching the ritual violence of Shauna beating Lottie nearly the death, that they will be killing and eating one another soon. Van coming up with the cards for the hunt. Van not blinking when the moment comes, Van choosing a weapon that doubles as a tool to bring the body back, Van refusing to apologize for staying alive--it's not evil. It's not Bad Guy behavior. It's purely about survival, because there is nothing else left to her--or to any of them. They can play the pretty little Sweet Angel Girl game and die, or they can get dirty, bloody, horrific and fight. Van chooses the fight. Van chooses to fight for herself, for her lover, for her team, even knowing not everyone is going to make it out...because the alternate path there is that no one makes it out. Van knew the baby wouldn't live. Van knows the rest of them won't, either. Not unless they start making the hard choices.

And, honestly, the fact that Van sees this narrative coming. Comes up with this plan. Brings out the cards. To me, that is the opposite of Bad Behavior. That is as close to justice as anyone can find in the wilderness. If someone else came up with an idea, maybe it would have come down to voting--but that would have had such a human element to it, with bitterness or hostility or whatever ultimately petty shit always comes of humans selecting who to Other. The cards don't leave room for that. It isn't fair, because the situation isn't fair, because Man vs. Nature isn't fair, but it's as close to a just system as they could possibly find. It's the kindest solution to an unwinnable game. Not to bring it back to American Gods again, but all I can think is "it's easy, there's a trick to it: you do it, or you die." Van gave them that.

#yellowjackets #yj meta #van palmer #i simply cannot ever accept people blindly hating ANY of the girls for their actions at the end of S2 #because by that point it's not about personality flaws or errors of judgement or teenage bullshit #it's survival. it's literally do or die. #be mad at the stuff they did the first few weeks out there. THAT was in their control. #but by the end of S2 it's 'do i want to live? cool. then this is the next step. there IS nothing else. we are eating belts.' #every once in a while on instagram or somewhere i see a hot take like 'oh this whole thing is THIS girl's fault' #and it's like no no. no--apart from misty busting the black box--NOTHING these girls do will change the fact of their situation #they might make it worse or make it more palatable but in the end #it's the purity of man vs. nature as a story #and any of them getting darker. more logical. more pragmatic. just means they're putting another day breathing first. #the human element of it comes in with the faith and the ritual and the acceptance of violence--but the violence was coming either way #'this place cannot be argued with. and that is how we survive: by giving into that.' exactly. liv hewson you genius. exactly.

[chronicowboy]

things from the tsunami arc that altered my brain chemistry irrevocably and eternally:

buck's hand twisted in christopher's shirt pre-wave

you're gonna be okay, kid and the hand on buck's face

the way buck cups christopher's head when he's finally got him in his arms

and the way he clings to christopher as soon as they're up on the fire truck for the rest of the episodes, always keeping chris nestled against his side or tucked under his chin whenever he's not saving people

how he freezes when he hears christopher fall in and just Knows its chris

buck finding christopher's glasses

the fact that we see the moment buck cuts himself and he doesn't even react because he's too heartbroken to feel anything else besides the grief

do i even need to mention buck carrying himself through most of LA on willpower alone?

or the black tent?

or buck calling maddie and not even worrying about telling eddie, just worrying about christopher, until he sees him at the VA hospital?

or how eddie nods as buck stammers through his explanation like he believes that its not buck's fault even as his heart is breaking over losing his child?

or the way buck hands eddie christopher's glasses?

or he was looking for buck?

how about the way eddie presses his forehead to christopher's temple?

and the Look between buck and eddie? buck, disbelieving, relieved, just utterly and completely relieved because whatever happens next, even if he never gets to see his diaz boys again, at least christopher is alive. and eddie, disbelieving, relieved, entirely and wondrously in awe of the man that kept his son safe and alive despite a tsunami.

and buck collapsing because finally, finally his job is done. nothing else matters now.

not to mention!!! the After

wait for me to come home my beloved <3

buck's whole voiceover

the way chris walks into the loft and rests his head against buck's stomach, trusting him to wrap him in a hug, and the way buck hesitates like he's not sure he's allowed

eddie pushing in, eddie, the strong silent type, filling the silence that buck would usually to try to drown (poor choice of words, i admit) out whatever thoughts are going through buck's head as he tries to object to being left alone

eddie's instantaneous, easy switch from nonchalant teasing to serious reassuring

two men five centimetres apart because they are gay!

eddie's hand on buck's shoulder and the fucking thumb on his neck... kill me :D

eddie being honest and vulnerable about his parenting

i love him enough to never stop trying and i know you do too because of course eddie has just had more than enough evidence of that, and not just evidence but tsunami-proof evidence that buck would quite literally go to the ends of the earth for christopher, but this quote, buddie or not, links buck to christopher, to that co-parent role, indefinitely and irrefutably

eddie's little comment about buck losing weight (sir... why are you paying so much attention 🤨)

and FUCK, perhaps the worst of them all, eddie pausing in the doorway, one hand on the doorframe, eyes down as he says buck's name and that little moment of hesitation before he looks up and says thank you. for not giving up.

#sami rambles #i should never be allowed to rewatch the tsunami episodes #my personality changes each and every time #they have fucked me up so bad #and yet i will rewatch them once every few months until the day that i die because i like Pain and Emotional Distress #anyway i know ive probably missed stuff but these are My moments the ones that make me want to curl up into a ball and die #911 show #911 fox #evan buckley #buddie #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #tsunami arc #christopher diaz #buck and christopher #buckley diaz family #long post #can't believe the tsunami episodes made me grateful for ed sheeran

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #cw blood #something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones #IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE #ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE.... #THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU #do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule. #LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE #DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared #i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail #but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!! #i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time #i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS #soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz #i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss #have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES #I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn #annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE. #hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.

[carefulfears]

sometimes i just want to cry over mulder’s fish and the way that we see both scully and doggett go to his apartment and feed them during the months he was missing and the fact that scully must have kept feeding them even months after he was dead and just to be loved so much that people come tend to your environment and keep your home and feed your fish long after you’re gone

and that the first thing he notices when he comes back is that one isn’t there. and how scully tried so hard, she tried so hard to find him and to keep him safe and to keep his work going and to keep those damn fish alive, and the first thing that he says to her when they walk back into that apartment is that one is missing

the way that in that scene, he says that he’s having trouble processing, that he doesn’t know where he fits in. you can be loved so much that multiple people come feed your fish and maintain your apartment after you’re buried in the ground, you can try so hard to keep everything going for someone else, but the world keeps spinning, and time goes on. fish die and baby bumps grow and answered prayers aren’t always miracles

he came back covered in scars to a clean apartment and a fish tank missing 1 molly and where does he fit in inside a world that hasn’t waited for him, no matter how hard she tried to make it stop

#nurse she’s rambling about the fish again #he loves those fucking fish #thinking about how they’re in scully’s apartment after he leaves in s9 #anyway i know it didn’t do things perfectly but i love ‘three words’ for this dynamic #she is SO pregnant in that scene and he has missed EVERY day of it #and she has a new partner and the fbi wants him out and what is there even for him to miraculously resurrect to #having this baby and solving x-files were things that she wanted to do with him #and as far as he knows she’s been doing fine alone and with her new partner #he doesn’t know that she wept on the floor of a hospital and slept clutching his shirt in his bed #that she had to be Ripped off of his corpse and that she watched that fish die and she couldn’t stop any of it #‘don’t quite have my legs under me yet’ indeed #txf.txt #three words

[i-am-me-i-am-sam]

The post about Tumblr dying is fear mongering.

tbh i dont think talking about an outcome that currently seems inevitable is fear mongering

so. is tumblr going to go down, right now? no! right now, for us users, very little to nothing will change! however, from what we know, they are actively moving staff away from tumblr, with no plans to ever grow that staff back up. as people who know more about tech than me have already said, this means updates will trickle to a stop. bugs and glitches will pile up. without the number of staff to maintain tumblr properly, eventually it will be unable to keep running.

keyword: eventually!

again, that's not right now. we're looking at the future here. so people looking to gather on other sites, to figure out where their communities are moving? they're looking towards that future. they, and i, want to be prepared, and can you blame us? while I was too young for it, I've heard about all the communities that were lost from livejournal. people are trying to prevent that from happening again.

it's not fear mongering to say "because of these actions, the site will eventually cease to run, so we should look to come together as community and have an idea of our next move when tumblr can no longer house us."

theres every chance we still have YEARS of functionality on this site left, even with the staff being cut. and, hey! maybe we'll get lucky. maybe they decide not to do this, or maybe tumblr gets bought out, and is actually able to make a profit without losing a significant portion of its user base. but a site can't run indefinitely without proper staffing.

addendum:

I did the check the blog of the original poster of the screenshot after writing this up. according to him, there seems to be no long term management plan, meaning we likely /would/ be in the holding pattern of "skeleton crew with very little to no additional support" that was already outlined in the screenshot and that people are assuming from it.

#every website will die one day 👍 #no ones saying tumblr will go down right this moment but wanting to prepare ahead of time isnt fear mongering #also posts about tumblrs 'death' happen multiple times a year. ill be here till the last day #but im still going to share those posts so everyone can Have Knowledge. big fan of people knowing things #idk man. tldr is just i disagree with you lol #asks #tumblr

[former-leftist-jew]

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

#every wise man's son doth know #what is love? t'is not hereafter #present mirth hath present laughter #dylan thomas #poetry #judaism #am yisrael chai #jumblr #jewish #jewblr #i stand with israel #antisemitism #I was ready to go gentle into that good night #to die unmarried and childless like every millennial #but the burn and rage of antisemites woke my love of day #I will rage rage against the dying of the light #now i'll marry and have as many kids as I can #and teach them to love judaism and knowledge and wisdom and life and love and kindness with all their hearts and souls #I want them to get DRUNK on the love of life and living #and learn to love jewish life as much as I #we will rage rage against the dying of the light #congratulations antisemites #you woke the love of life and living in this jew #I will make my time on earth count #and make sure there are those who will come after me #we will RAGE -- RAGE against the dying of the light

[stuckinapril]

.

#Bisan’s voice memo made me go insane I haven’t been able to sleep all night and now I’m just up w crushing anxiety about it #I need to go on a run or something but I have to study #I just feel physically sick and idk what to do with myself #I just wish people didn’t have to die #Please don’t be worried about me btw I’m fine I just feel wired. Idk #I usually don’t share stuff like this bc I don’t want people to get worried or for it to distract from my posts but I just wanted #to say something so I can feel less alone about it #Bc I know a lot of people on here really care #I need to get up and get my day started eventually but im like . Peaking #And I haven’t eaten anything in like 19 hours i feel empty in every sense of the word #p