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sakarrie-creates · 4 months

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It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me.

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following: 1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music 2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail 3. Fanworks for other people’s fics 4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art 5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!

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itstheimpossibledream · 3 years

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Merry Christmas Pal

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year all the things! This fic was written specifically for @writethelifeyouwant as part of the SPN secret santa gift exchange but I hope we can all enjoy a little bit of smut this holiday! They said I had the freedom to write whatever I choose so enjoy this slightly wincestiel project! Also shout out to @negans-lucille-tblr for suggesting this great idea!

Word Count: 2,649

"Dean?"Cas called out as he grappled with the seatbelt. They had just pulled up to Madeline's house, Dean was already practically up the stairs, Sam stopped short and helped Castiel from the Impala. The street was decorated neatly for the holidays and Madeline’s small house specifically was lit to perfection.The boys quickly hurried behind Dean,reaching your steps just in time to pick an unassumingly provocative pose as you opened the door.

The men were dimly lit by the lantern on your porch but you were not at all surprised by the rag-tag group the night had brought in. You had often opened your home to fellow hunters but, very few marked as memorable as the Winchesters.

"Who's the friend?" you ask calmly motioning toward the trench coat.

"Hi. I'm Castiel" the man stepped forward with him arm outstretched. Your eyes bounced from Dean to Sam and then back to Dean again.

"Come in." you say turning your back to them and moving through the doorway into your home.

"We really didn't mean to barge in on you like this Mads. We just had the craziest couple of days and really need a place to crash."

The boys looked like they had been through hell. It had been a while since the last time you saw them, and if we're being honest you were doing your best to contain the excitement. The last time the boys were here you had all stayed up drinking, and reminiscing which had led to a confusing yet thrilling three-way in the middle of your living room.

Infact, everytime a Winchester had stayed in your home an encounter was bound to happen. Years ago when John had visited you for the second time, after hunting down a particular ghoul was the first night with a Winchester for you. God, just thinking of John's deep silky voice now makes your toes curl. The way he'd emphasized the slowness of that night. you must've had sex for hours and it still hadn't seemed like enough. John was brilliant at dragging out your orgasm, building it in you until you called out his name. That night he had you pressed up against your fridge, jeans around your ankles as he slammed into you, asking you over and over again 'who's your daddy?'. You didn't peg him for liking the daddy kink. I mean, he so obviously was one but, most hunters tended not to go for the obvious bent. You had found most hunters wanted to cry, make love and play house for a few hours before returning to their sad motels and continuing with their even sadder lives usually in a quest for revenge and usually you never saw them again. But John was different , John would visit you often and when his boys began looking for him , your address was a prominent stop in the state. Apparently, he had left behind proof that the two of you had been together.Strangely sentimental for a very mature man who's surety of himself caused him to remain a mystery. He was a good amount older than you but that never seemed to matter.The few minutes of reminiscing had caused a wetness to pool in your panties and you already felt yourself gearing up for whatever the younger Winchesters could possibly have in store. But, what was this third man doing here?

You had invited the men to sit in the living room while you heated up leftovers and prepared drinks. The new one preferred not to eat but he drank in time with the boys. As you served Dean he wrapped an arm around your waist,Sam was overflowing with compliments of your food but,Cas sat there nodding lightly as Sam and Dean filled you in on their latest hunts. As the night wore on, after your fourth or fifth trip to the fridge to freshen someone's beer you sat down next Castiel. He seemed so nervous and cold. When Sam and Dean excused themselves to bring in bags from the car and lock up the Impala for the night you found yourself unable to sit in the sullen silence anymore. You found yourself standing in front of the sink, washing dishes and looking for the right words.

"So Castiel?" you asked, turning all your attention toward him as he helped you finish with the dishes. "How did the boys talk you into spending your holiday here?"

"Well, Dean says your food makes it the best place to stay, especially around christmas time. And I think he's also hoping you will decide to have sex with me."

You whirled from the sink to face him setting your mug on the counter.

"And what makes him think that?"

"No idea, I told him I haven't had much luck with human women." he shrugged completely unembarrassed.

" And why do you think that is ?" you said more sarcastic than interested

" Because I'm a virgin, and Dean says no man should die a virgin.And also it's apparently great after a hunt." he sighed, shaking his head. At this moment Dean and Sam came back through the door carrying bags, one small pink gift bag caused your eyebrows to crease. Dean dropped the bags by the door as Sam came over to you with the small one.

"A token of our gratitude for allowing us to spend the holidays with you." You looked quizzically from Sam to Dean, then to Cas.

" I promise it's not truck stop food." Cas said. That caught you by surprise that you laughed out loud at one of his jokes. It was an evergreen candle. Basic but, it was nice to know that the boys were thinking of you. "Thank you guys." you smiled as Sam stepped in for a hug. He was obviously the one who had picked out the candle. You came down from the hug and you turned to Dean to ask "So, what's this about Cas coming to my house to lose his virginity?" Dean turned to look at Cas, Sam's jaw dropped open.

"You told her?" Dean was obviously frustrated with his friend, I guess he was nervous it would make you not want to hook up at all.

"Well I was going to have to find out at some point right ?" you laugh trying to lift the mood.

"Dean wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable" Sam quickly jumped to the rescue "We just want Cas to have an interaction with a woman he can trust you know when we're working anyone could be a demon or a monster it's not a popular line of work and - and-"

"I didn't say I wouldn't do it ." You reply looking directly at Cas " If I'm being honest it's always been a bit of a kink of mine to be someone's first."

Now it was Dean's turn to have his mouth hang open.

"Great! So should we go upstairs?" Cas exclaimed.

"Wait Cas, are you sure that like- you're ready now?" Sam's face was so earnest

"Yup!" Cas said making his way towards the stairs. You stepped towards him.

"Hold on" you said, reaching for the lapels of his jacket. He allowed you to slide it off of his shoulders. the boys watched in silence as you draped the coat over the bannister and slowly undid his tie. You added his tie to the bannister and stepped in closer, sharing the air with him. He immediately leaned in and kissed you. You were slightly stunned by the confidence but also intrigued. He was a sweet kisser, smooth and calm, his tongue moved, calculated. A hand lightly caressed the curve of your lower back into your butt. You could tell it wasn't Cas's hand,this hand was larger and rougher. The hand moved to the front of your body and you could feel it working it's way toward your core. As nervous as you were, you couldn't get over the excitement of having multiple men at once.

"Get on your knees" the man behind you was definitely Dean,you do as he says. You situate yourself on the floor as Dean reaches over you and undoes Cas's pants. His cock spills out and you watch as Dean slowly jerks him. You turn your head to find Sam sitting in the living room a few steps away with his pants around his ankles, watching. His strokes were different from Dean's; they were long, slow strokes. He catches you staring at him and smiles.

"I think you're supposed to be focused on Cas." Sam says smoothly , you turn your head back to face Cas."Open your mouth." Dean directs, Cas lays himself lightly on your tongue .

"She's so pretty like this Dean." Cas says staring down at you. You close your lips around him and begin to suck him off, he moans loudly.

"Even better than you thought it would be huh?" Sam laughs. You look up to see Dean kissing Cas above you and are instantly more turned on than you expected to be. You didn't know Dean was even remotely interested in men. Something about being completely unaware of his preferences made you so intrigued, he was like his father, unknowable but, in this way you knew more about him than any other hunter. You sped up on Cas's member and he moaned into Dean's lips. He couldn't take the pressure anymore, he explodes into your mouth with cries of "I'm cumming". Dean smiles at him but directs you to “stand up. I wanna taste him.” You get up and Dean immediately whirls you around shoving his tongue down your throat.He pulls away saying "Give Cas sometime to recover sweetheart, go ride Sammy's dick." he smacks you on the ass as you saunter towards Sam. By this point he has completely undressed on your couch, he extends a hand towards you and helps you settle yourself on top of him. He runs a hand up your thigh and you see his eyes widen.

" You're so wet from sucking Cas. Why is that?" he smiles, slowly narrowing his eyes.

"Because she's a slut" Dean says as Sam sinks two fingers into you. Your breath hitches in your throat as you stare at Sam.

"Is that what it is?" he asks, pulling his fingers out and lightly smacking your pussy."Are you a little slut?" He smacks again, harder this time." Yes-yes I'm little slut ." you voice says shakily, betraying you. "Come here." he motions, lowering you onto him. He gasps as you ride him, his fingers digging in deeper into your hips. You press down,staring into his eyes. He flips some hair from his face, and begins pushing into you faster. He brings a hand up to your face "You feel so good....wow." That was enough to send you over the edge, into spasm on Sam’s dick.

"Can't keep it all to yourself Sammy." Dean growled from behind you. "Sam grabbed your hair, bringing your face closer to his "Say you want more." You moaned and nodded in response. "I said it." he pressed, you managed to get more of a grasp on your voice and said "I want more!"

"Come here sweetheart." Dean called out from across the room, Sam pumped into you once more as hard as he could and then lifted you off of him, your legs were so wobbly you could barely stand. And you could fill the mix of the two of you sliding down your thighs. Dean must've noticed your unsteadiness and said "Don't walk''. You froze, looking up at him.Trying to follow the rules but, also knowing the need for your next orgasm would outweigh the want of the command especially, with the added bonus of bucking against Dean's dominance. His eyes looked from Sam, sweaty and spread out on the couch to Cas,who had barely managed to get himself back together after his last orgasm.

"See that's why I always liked you baby. You let the boys have their fun but, you know who's always gonna give you what you want." Your pupils blow out at that praise.He sets his eyes on you with a cold gaze.

”Crawl." he commands clear as day. Your body wanted to go to the floor anyway. You settle on your hands and knees and move slowly towards Dean. Placing one hand in front of the other, your knees dragging on the hardwood as you pass the skirt of your own christmas tree. "See that ass moving Sammy.That's why we love Mads, Cas. That's why." You reached the space in front of Dean "Turn around."

You did as you were told so that your hands were laying flat on your rug on all fours, and you could feel as he got on his knees behind you and entered. You cried out immediately, his hand curled around your throat and as he lifted your chin Cas's dick came into view.Cas got on his knees in front of you Dean used his other hand to steady you and pull your hair turning your face up to meet Cas. "Kiss his it sweetheart" you lightly lay a peck on Cas's member, knowing it would immediately cause a rise in Dean. "Put your mouth around his pretty cock"he says lightly. You do as he says, Cas holding the back of your head as he pushes himself down your throat. "O you take him so good sweetheart. Swallow him.” he breathed“ You're such a good girl." You saw Sam's tall body come into frame,next to Cas."You're so good babygirl, you're taking me so well" he cooes. You can feel your core tightening and you worried that if you come another time you might break. Dean is fucking you hard now, strong , lustfilled pumps. "Cas come here." Dean calls"I want to watch you inside her.Dean pulls out of you only to be immediately replaced by Castiel's slow, agonizing strokes. Sam is smiling down on you and taking in the expanse of his naked body is enough to send you over the edge. You feel yourself clamping down on Cas and you cry out telling Dean that you can’t hold it any longer. "Cum for me baby." he commands "Come all over Cass, show him how much you like it." You scream out shivering over Cas's cock. The men give you a moment to recover then you feel Dean pulling you up. "Sit on your knees baby." his voice has softened now. "We're gonna come on you okay? Be a good girl and play with your tits for us. You follow his directions and before you know it all three are springing thick ropes of cum from their cocks, moaning in unison and screaming your name. The room falls quiet for a moment and all you can see are the warm lights of the christmas tree,your body immobilized and your brain flooding with serotonin. Dean gathers you in his arms and sits there holding you, telling you what a beautiful girl you are. Eventually, Sam emerges from your bathroom with a towel and both Sam and Cas clean you up wiping the sticky liquid from your body. Sam and Cas laid sprawled out on the floor, you curled in Dean's arms. Sam was propped against the foot of the couch, his hands in his hair as he stared up at the ceiling painting, Cas laid closer to you, his stomach facing the floor and his arms wrapped around a pillow as he looked up at Dean. "Hey Cas." Dean gruffs looking in the direction of the floor.``Yeah?" Cas asks "Merry Christmas pal" Dean says extending an arm to slap Cas on the ass. The room immediately erupts in laughter. I guess this really was all any of you had wished for.

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demenior · 3 years

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Dem’s Big Post About The Spn Fics Part 2/2

aka The Wrap Up to celebrate To Exist Again and To Become a Man now being finished!

[Part 1 here]

This part will cover reader questions. Thank you to everyone who submitted some, and please feel free to continue asking if you have any. The series is VERY high-concept in areas and can be confusing. I’ll always answer as best I can without spoiling upcoming events <3

[Kid Cudi voice] now look at this:

HUGE thank you to @lookforaspoopynewangle for this amazing manip that I need everyone to see and love. Click here to reblog it and spread the joy.

InkofEmrys asked:

A couple random questions I'd throw at you: how far into TEA did you get/have a visual for the depth of Dean's struggle with himself and his sexuality that were happening in the background, which ended up being such a big theme in TBAM? Really, just; how much of Dean's perspective was already shaped in your mind as you wrote/began to develop TEA? And, when did the grounding principle of Dean trying not to be like his father when trying to chart this path with Sam first occur to you as something you wanted to really involve? Also, I'm really curious. (Read: bracing myself in mild fear). Whose perspective(s) do you think you'll end up writing the third work from?

From the getgo BOTH Sam n Dean’s stories were about how they had to find an identity outside of their fathers’ shadow. Almost immediately it was obvious that this was easy(er) for Sam, and life-altering for Dean. This is part of where I ultimately made the decision to split Sam and Dean’s stories because their narrative themes didn’t fit the same flow.

The explicit mantra of ‘I am not my father’ was a product of writing, and not intentional. I didn’t set out to make Sam or Dean specifically antagonistic to their father, because that is their Dad! They love him and miss him. But I did want to include just how difficult John made it to love him because he caused a lot of trauma to/for his children.

I’ve joked about this series being actually about Sam n Dean going through a secondary puberty of sorts. In the sense that, while John has been an absent father and they’ve been away from him most of their adult lives, while John was alive he had a huge presence over them and how they lived. One that continued to follow them after his death, and then by the time they were a few years away from that— they were facing down the apocalypse and had very little time for personal journeys other than ‘I love you enough to die for you’ and ‘I love you enough to let you die for me’. So this story is more about the time period where Sam and Dean have space to breathe and to realize ‘oh Dad’s not going to show up and force us to do what he wants anymore’ so they start poking around and finding out what they want to do and who they want to be

I knew from the beginning that a big aspect of Dean’s story would be dealing with feeling like he’d failed to honor his fathers’ memory by being queer, and not being het like he felt his father had forced him to be by raising Dean to be hypermasculine. It was also important to me to highlight that this was a closet of many factors, and not because John explicitly told Dean not to be queer. Things like the very hypermasculine hunter community, the period of time Dean grew up in, Dean’s intensive self-loathing and criticism of himself. What I didn’t expect was HOW MUCH story would come out of that. I fully intended Dean’s story, even in going back to “season 4” and working our way back to the events of TEA, to only be a little bit longer than Sam’s story.

While writing TEA I had the timeline of Dean’s pov in the back of my mind. I knew Cas was going to open the conversation (his ‘I love you’) to Dean early on, and I knew they wouldn’t be together-together until Sam walks in on their kiss (I hadn’t planned for that to be their first Real Kiss while writing TEA, but it worked out that way in TBAM), but I did know that Dean would have a pretty strong moment of realizing he was likely in love with Cas as well while they were in purgatory

Several povs will come into play in To Destroy a Man. I can tell you for certain that we will have rotating between Sam and Dean, and that the story will be set a few years after the events of TEA/TBAM

Anon asked:

Wrap up question: how did you decide to lead into Cas’s no-good-very-bad day the way you did? I feel like if I tried to write something as dramatic and intense as that I’d get seriously bogged down in trying to write a convincing set up. Why are the bros there? What case were they working on when they learned it was a trap? The way you wrote it I never even questioned any of those things- and that’s a sign of great writing imo! But I’d love to know more about your process for when you decide to go light on detail and when you choose to go deeper!

tl;dr: I made it boring af to know what they were doing!

But more to the point, one of the ‘weaknesses’ I highlighted about this fic, is that all the development happened in very tiny segments and little personal moments, rather than big flash n bang scenes all over the place. There was no driving plot beats to give a reader any footing to guess where the story would be going. This was a strength in that it meant I could surprise Sudden Action onto the story without warning— but it also had to be done wisely! You’ll note there are VERY few Surprise Action/Drama Moments: Sam shooting Naomi, when the leviathans swallow Dean, Sam corrupting Amy, and then Cas’ no-good-very-bad-day. Because most of the action has happened off screen, and the pace of the series is slow, suddenly leaping into action feels intense if only for the contrast!

In any case, all the details? Like: what was the case? Where are they” How far into investigating are they? I personally didn’t care about them. They were so inconsequential that it would have just wasted everyone’s time to spend a few paragraphs nicely laying out all of the information. I think the most I say (in ch25 of TBAM) is “They got notice of weird stuff that could be their kind of weird, so they went poking around.” Because I the writer don’t care that much, and because Dean the pov character doesn’t care that much about the info, then neither does the reader.

Light vs deep detail. A lot of it really came down to what I personally found interesting to write. Obviously self-reflection was a big theme in both stories. In Sam’s story I really wanted to write about magic! And explore magic. So most of Sam’s story deal with his magic powers or conversing with his hallucinations of Lucifer, rather than on details around him. In Dean’s I really wanted to explore a man caught between himself and the things he wants. It really came down to what deserved details and what didn’t!

Thank you all for reading! See ya soon <3

#the love it takes series #to exist again fic #to become a man fic #dem speaks

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 3 years

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Hi, I'm working on a SPN fanfic right now and I was hoping I could get some character ideas from you. It's a destiel fanfic-I know you don't ship them anymore but I'm kind of stuck on what to do with John? I want him in the story because I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan and the way he plays Dean but I also don't want to write him in a repetitive way, I want to do the character justice and not make him all cringe. Got any ideas?

Hi! Yes, I'd be more than happy to give you some advice.

To me, John Winchester is such a fun character to write, full of angst ripe for the picking with Sam and Dean, ya know? And Jeffrey does such a good job bringing the character to life, I just hate reading fics where the the writers just make him the cringey, abusive, alcoholic, homophobic father, the obstacle needed to overcome for Destiel (or whatever ship) to truly be together, you know? I'm not saying that we shouldn't use the abusive parent trope in coming out stories because obviously those family dynamics exist in real life so of course many who have suffered through that trauma want to write about it to work through it and I do not begrudge them at all for that. But, the trope is overplayed and typically there isn't a whole lot of nuance to it so its kind of boring to read about all of the time, and when something gets boring, it gets cringey.

So my advice if this story you're writing is going to have some sort of coming out story feat. John Winchester aka Abusive/Homophobic Father of the Year, then try to add a little bit more nuance to it to give it a freshness so it doesn't feel so overplayed to your readers. No one likes carboard cut outs of characters, they want characters not caricatures (at least that's I want but you know depending on your audience, maybe they're ok with caricatures as long as they get their fanservice). So definitely, if you can, try and dive a little more deeply into the psyche of John Winchester. Really analyze his emotions, his motivations, his reasonings for why he does the things he does. If he's gonna be abusive and homophobic, think about why is he really those things? Is he abusive because he can't look at his kids because they remind him of Mary? Is this his own way of protecting them? Is he homophobic because he's a product of his time? Or is there a deeper reason behind it? Is it a means of protecting his sons from the harshness and brutality of living that life? Because while it is freeing and liberating to come out and truly be able to be yourself, sadly, the world is filled with bigots that won't see it that way, that are threatened by it and will enact violence because of their bigotry.

Me personally, if I were to ever write for John Winchester, I'd choose to stay away from the abusive, alcoholic, homophobic angle that so much of the fandom likes to depict him as. Like I said before, its overdone, boring, and cringey. And truth be told, I've never jumped on the band wagon of hating John Winchester. Honestly, when I rewatch Season 1, the episodes featuring him are always so enjoyable to me because he's so interesting. Sure, he's terrible for his sons, but digging into his motivations and how he thinks, in his own twisted mind, he means well and he's genuinely thinking that these means are what's going to keep his boys safe. So I don't know, if I were to write a coming out story whether it be destiel or sastiel, I'd kind of like to depict John as being supportive of his son coming out because there is an aspect of his personality there that does treasure his boys. Sure, it doesn't negate that he's a terrible father who has treated his children abysmally but everything that he's done in the show, it's never screamed at me that he's homophobic. I'm sure some Dean Winchester stans will come at me, get up on their soap box and try to tell me that we can gather that John Winchester was homophobic because of Dean's own homophobia and repressed feelings towards men, how he womanizes and fetishizes women, etc. He learned it from John. Or maybe, just maybe, John Winchester was not around a whole lot and Dean watched a lot of macho cop shows and things of that nature whilst spending endless hours cooped up in a hotel room. Or Dean Winchester actually is straight, I know horror of horrors for me to suggest something like that and I'm not really here to make an argument on that. If you want to yell at me and tell me all of the reasons why Dean Winchester isn't straight, don't bother because I don't care. SPN is done and over with and we all now have the freedom to characterize Dean however the fuck we want and we need to stop getting into such heated arguments about this. If you see Dean has a repressed homosexual, great I totally see how you would see that so you should write about it, I don't have a problem with it. But I also don't have a problem with him being characterized as straight either. I have written Dean as straight before and I've also written him as LGBT as well. I'm not more partial to any reading of his sexuality really, he's never been a favorite character of mine, most of the time I have to really fight my own dislike of him to even find him palatable. If I think of a story and I want to include him in said story, I'll characterize him in whichever way befits the story I'm writing. But the point is, in regards to John Winchester, I kind of went on a tangent there, but what I'm essentially getting at is John can be abusive, he can be alcoholic, but I would also find it interesting if amongst those things he was supportive of his sons' sexuality or at the very least apathetic to it.

But anyway, those are my thoughts/advice. Hopefully it helps and good luck on your story. If you post it on Tumblr, be sure to tag me, I'd love to read it.

#john winchester #anti dean winchester #critical dean winchester #i'm just going to use the dean anti and critical tags just because I dont want a whole lot of dean stans up my ass

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cambionverse · 3 years

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envesseled (1 of 3): poker

HELLO >:)

so. as you may have noticed, the last time we posted anything about envesseled (the claire-centric, claire-pov fic intended to follow jesse's fic cambion and ben's fic only human) was in 2013. did we forget about it? did we cancel it? is the verse abandoned? no, no, and no. we had a lot of stuff to rewrite to get the verse in the right place for envesseled, and then we got busy, and THEN there was a pandemic. but it was never very far from our minds, and now it is FINALLY time for this to be the next thing we post.

most of the fans of this verse have been with us for a very long time. for being so patient, and so supportive, we decided to post not one, not two, but THREE scenes from the in-progress envesseled, for everyone to enjoy, but especially for the people who were readers when we posted the last one (again, in 2013, eight entire years ago). we aren't committing to a posting date yet, but we are ALL much closer to the end of this wait than the beginning.

this particular scene is only mildly spoilery and doesn't have any major content warnings to watch out for, aside from a mention of the ticking clock on claire's grace. it also introduces the minor character patrick, from spn episode 5.07, who has been on our cast page for some time; finally you can get some idea of what (small yet important) role he might play in this story. there are two more previews after this before the night is over - we hope you enjoy them.

---

Lucky for Claire, there's already a poker game in progress when she pushes the door of the pub open in a swirl of cold air. The man who wins the next hand looks younger than the others by far, though there's something about him that Claire can't quite place. He catches her eye across the bar and smiles around a toothpick as his compatriots grumble and wander away with their meager winnings.

"Room for one more?" says Claire, laying the sweetness on thick and her money on the table.

He waves a hand at the now-empty chairs. "I'm Patrick."

Surely he's faking that Irish accent; it's even more ridiculous than Jesse's Australia-Nebraska hybrid. And with the name Patrick, no less. "Amelia," Claire says, and pretends the accompanying flare of pain is only because she told a lie.

"Amelia," says Patrick, with an odd emphasis on the last two syllables. "You remind me of someone I once knew." He hands her a stack of poker chips and begins dealing out cards.

Claire leans forward so her braid falls over her shoulder and says, "How did you end up here, Patrick?"

He doesn't take the opportunity to look down her shirt, which is all the more irritating because she had half-hoped he wouldn't. "Luck," he says, snapping the k. He glances at his cards. "It's often on my side."

Lie. Claire doesn't often get such strong feedback from general statements like that, but this one burns. She ups her bet by more than she otherwise would have, careful to keep her voice neutral. "That must come in handy."

"Well, that is what we Irish are known for." He flips another chip onto the pile. "Ignoring the whole bit about the famines, of course. Pots of gold don't make very good eating."

Claire cracks a smile completely involuntarily, and brings a hand up much too late to hide it. Patrick quirks one eyebrow. His eyes stay on Claire's face for a long time, though, as his expression slides into something sadder.

She wouldn't, usually, but Claire asks, "Who was it?"

Patrick blinks, and the smirk is back in place like it never left. "Who was who, darling?"

"You said I reminded you of someone."

"She was a dancer." Patrick takes a chip from his considerable pile and spins it between two fingers. "Held herself like you do, especially when she was angry. Like if she didn't hold herself tight she'd float right up in the air."

Claire's muscles go even tenser when he says that, because he's not supposed to notice. "Raise," she says, dropping the chips in the pile.

Patrick exhales. "She wasn't much of a poker player." He puts his cards down, and slides them back into the deck before she can see them. "I fold."

Claire scoops the pile of chips toward her, stacking them carefully by value. Patrick's first bet this round was high, the highest he's played all game; why did he drop the bluff so fast? With this, plus the little extra hidden in her backpack, and if she's willing to eat vending machine food for breakfast—

The door opens, and a low hum starts up in the back of Claire's head. She knows who it is before Ben ever reaches the table.

"Claire!"

Patrick's eyes narrow the slightest margin. "Claire, is it?"

Fuck, and now she's been made, and he probably won't pay out and she'll have to sleep in a fucking snowbank because Ben Braeden can't keep his mouth shut. She opens her mouth the bare minimum required to say, "Leave."

She hears him settle harder on his feet but continues to stare at her cards. Patrick folded. She doesn't even have one pair.

"I know you don't forgive me yet," Ben says, and Claire breathes out hard. "But there's something Jesse and I need to—"

"I said leave, Ben," and she's turning to glare at him even though she wanted to play this cool. His cheeks are glowing red from being out in the cold, and a little behind him, far enough back to have a clear path to the door, Jesse's watching her too. When he sees Claire looking, his eyes drop to the floor.

"No, you don't get it," Ben begins, but Patrick interrupts.

"Is there a problem here?"

Ben seems to realize there are other people around, and he slides on his most affable grin. Claire can see how it's going to go, Ben charming everyone in a ten-foot radius, what a nice guy he is. Well, not if she gets there first.

"Yeah, there is," she says, savoring the lack of pain because it's true. "This asshole has been bothering me all night. I came here to get away from him."

"Oh, come on," says Ben, already rolling his eyes, but Claire said it loud enough that quite a few people heard her and some of them are starting to mutter. He notices, and ducks closer to her. "Look, Claire, can we just go?"

Patrick stands up. "I believe the lady asked you to leave."

Ben gives him a once-over. "Who are you?"

"Oh, I don't think you want to know the answer to that," says Patrick. His smile is not kind. "I suggest you be on your way."

Claire's not surprised to see Ben's jaw set at that. "Dude, this is so not your business," he says. "I know her, okay? We've been friends for years. I just want to talk to her."

Patrick bites a toothpick idly. "Think she can decide for herself who she wants to talk to."

Ben looks like he might be feeling stupid enough to throw a punch, but then Jesse is there at his side, one hand finding its way to the back of Ben's neck. Ben calms down instantly with Jesse touching him and Claire has been so, so painfully oblivious to never see this for what it was.

When Patrick notices Jesse his arms drop, and suddenly the air feels weird. "And who's your friend?"

"I'm nobody," says Jesse, though Claire would bet her pile of hypothetical money that his other hand is on the knife at his belt. "Just don't want to see this get out of hand."

Patrick looks at all three of them like links in a chain. "And did you not hear the lady's request, nobody?"

"Maybe you should stop talking for her, how 'bout," Ben retorts.

Claire appreciates the help, she supposes, but really what she wants is to be done with the displays of aggression and for everyone to leave her alone. "Go away, Ben," she says, and it comes out tired even to her own ears. He slumps a little deeper into Jesse's grip, and that's exactly the problem.

"Claire—"

"We're going," says Jesse, finally looking away from Patrick to catch Claire's eye again. He lowers his voice. "We'll be waiting outside."

"You'll be waiting a long time," Claire says, one parting shot for them to remember her by. "I do hope you two can find some way to occupy yourselves."

They both flinch, and Claire turns back to the table with bitter satisfaction in the back of her throat.

Patrick settles back into his seat, eyes still on the door. "You do have interesting friends."

"They're not my friends," says Claire. The lie burns like whiskey.

Patrick raises an eyebrow at her. "No? Then what are they?"

"We were playing," Claire says pointedly. When he doesn't move, she grabs the deck and starts to shuffle herself.

"I am playing," Patrick retorts. If he starts to go on about how you don't play the cards, you play the person, she might have to hit him herself. Instead he leans back and chews on his toothpick. "Let me see if I got it straight. You and Ben, you've been friends for a long time."

Claire places her bet, refusing to acknowledge that he's still talking. There's nothing impressive about repeating back what Ben let slip.

"And you're not one to make friends easily, are you, Amelia." She does look up at that, and Patrick, smirking, corrects himself. "Claire."

She deals the next card.

"So maybe you thought Ben was something special. But you didn't trust yourself with him. So you told him to wait."

"Raise," Claire says, and she doesn't even have that good a hand but she wants to clean him out. He won't stop fucking smiling.

"Some people would wait, you know," says Patrick. "Some people would wait a very long time."

Some while back Ben had told her, There is nobody else. Well. I'm nobody, Jesse said. Claire turns out her hand. "Triple sixes."

Patrick sighs. "You're letting me get to you, love. Can't play a good game if your mind's out that door." He tosses his cards onto the table in front of her. "Full house, and I'm guessing you could've used this cash. Quit while you've got any left." He drags the chips out of her reach.

Claire picks up his cards and the rest of the deck. "We're not done playing."

"All that ice isn't going to keep you safe forever." Patrick leans back. "Deal."

And because Claire is tired, and lost, and vindictive, she lets the cards slide through her hands with that special twist Ben taught her.

Patrick nudges a considerable pile of chips into the middle of the table. "Some free advice for you, love," he says, eyes dark. "Your life's too short to pretend you want nothing and no one to come near your heart."

Her grace flares up even before she can shape the words I don't. He doesn't know how right he is—Claire's life is looking very short indeed, these days, and nothing Ben or Jesse can do will put a stop to the invasive light eroding her body from the inside out. Her heart's probably toxic by now anyway.

Claire takes a deep breath and shows her cards, spades all in a row just like she planned. "Straight flush."

Patrick tosses his hand onto the table. "Four aces."

"What?" But there they are, even though Claire could've sworn she cut the ace of diamonds into the middle of the deck and buried the ace of hearts even further down. She locks her teeth as soon as the word escapes, but it's too late; his cold smile tells her he knows what she did.

"I don't like cheaters," says Patrick. He places a polished wooden box on the table and begins gathering the chips back into it, along with any chance she had of getting a hotel room tonight. "And you, of all people, ought to value honesty. Better luck next time, Amelia."

Claire clenches her jaw. She stands to leave—then Patrick catches her hand.

"I'm not doing this for you," he murmurs, and she feels the papery crinkle of fresh bills on her palm. She grips the money instinctively even as she draws back, other hand curling into a fist. No one at all is watching them. But Patrick just looks at her, an unsettling depth to his gaze. "You should tell him how you feel," he says, and releases her.

Claire pockets the money and bolts before he can change his mind.

#cambionverse #envesseled #claire novak #10th cambiversary #rough drafts #writing #ours #lmao this scene is classic spn winchester hustle #but with claire it's like. gatekeep girlboss get the fuck out of my face #also the fact that she uses her mother's name as an alias: hurts me #claire novak my beloved

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jerkbitchidjitassbutt · 4 years

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What If I Told You (9)

Characters: Jensen x Reader; Jared Padalecki; SPN Cast members at times.

Summary: You and Jensen have been the closest of friends for years after meeting on the set of SPN, but what will happen when you and Jensen have a kissing scene?

Warnings: Cursing; divorce; break up; angst-ish at times, but mostly fluff. For this chapter: Canon divergence from the show, spn-related sadness.

I consider this an AU, as Jensen is divorced from an unnamed ex in this fic. This is completely a work of fiction, and I wouldn’t want his reality to be any different, this is purely for entertainment.

A/n: Just a tiny bit more until the big one. Flashbacks are in italics.

The darkened wood of the porch swing rasped slightly as you swung back and forth, but the only sound that rung in your ears was your own heartbeat. Jensen’s eyes glazed as they stared into yours, the words he’d just spoken hanging heavily in the air.

“I was begging myself not to leave you.”

He gave you a small smile, as if to say a million words with a single action that was only meant for you.

Leaning slightly into his side, the scent of his aftershave filling your senses, you reassured him, “Don’t worry, Jay. I promise, I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered.

His dimples appeared as he gave a genuine, gorgeous smile. “You know…” he began, gazing at the jade lawn and blossoming blooms of the small garden, “this is a pretty nice place.”

Taking in the scenery, you agreed. The home itself was picturesque. “Yeah. Something I’d like to have one day.”

Jensen gripped your hand tightly before Clint whistled for you gently, hoping to usher you into the waiting SUV to take you back to set. Jensen, Jared, and Misha had one more scene to film on location at the ‘borrowed’ house with the red front door and another down the road, but it was already nearing four o’clock in the afternoon and you were due back at the studio for make-up and wardrobe removal.

The two of you stood from the swing on the front porch and, to your surprise, Jensen walked you down the steps and sidewalk to your bodyguard’s vehicle.

Jensen quickly stepped in front of you to grip the handle, opening the back door and gesturing for you to slide in.

“Ever the gentleman.” You giggled, feeling a rush to your cheeks.

“Well, you know me… gotta keep it interesting.” He smirked.

You halted before stepping in through the open door and turned to face him. Jensen had caged you within the frame of the door and his body, resting his hands both on the door and the cool metal of the car’s frame, blocking you from the remainder of those on set. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust those he worked with, but he was a man that enjoyed his privacy, especially with those he was closest to.

You felt suddenly small in the confines of the space and under the watchful gaze of Jensen. He was the person you felt most comfortable around and knew you to the depths of your secrets, yet in this moment you felt as though all new ones were coming to the surface. You wrung your hands into knots behind your back as you swayed onto the balls of your feet, anxiously posing, “So, I guess I’ll see you at Rob’s thing tonight?”

“Yeah. Yeah—I’ll be there. I want to say ‘screw it’ and run off with you now and, uh… have that talk, but you know how it is. I’ve got to get back in there.” He said, seemingly nervous as well, but also collected and steady.

“No, yeah… I get that. No worries.” You sputtered, casting your eyes to your shoes for no reason at all, other than to avoid his.

“Hey.” He said, releasing the hand that was holding the door to tuck it beneath your chin, he index finger and thumb planting themselves to turn your face to him. “It’ll happen sweetheart. I promise. I’m anxious too, don't worry.”

You smiled in his embrace. He had an unexplainable gift of knowing precisely what you needed to hear. It was almost as if you were consistently thinking that you were going to wake up and it would all have been a dream; the kiss, the message, the emotions he had expressed, but he was doing everything to ensure you knew it wasn't.

“Okay. Promise?” you said with a smirk, extending your pinky finger.

He eyed your outstretched hand with a grin, releasing your chin to lock his smallest finger with yours. As he enclosed it around his own, he tugged it gently towards him, pulling you closer to lay a gentle, quick peck of a kiss to your lips that left a tingle in its wake. “Promise.”

He retreated to the sidewalk as you hopped onto the leather seat of Clint’s car and shut the door for you, waving as the car sped off down the street.

You cast your eyes out of the darkened glass of the window, eyeing the man who had shaken you to your core who was still standing on the gray sidewalk. He seemed even more beautiful in the late afternoon light that shown behind him, blooming in iridescence and arcs of color.

Secretly, Jensen was as nervous and apprehensive as you were, but he couldn’t deny any longer that this was what he wanted and now—now he was sure you felt the same. All of the trepidation from days past was slowly dwindling to new nerves; now he just wanted to make everything perfect. If he was honest with himself, this was no longer a question of whether, it was a question of how.

.....

Yesterday

“Hey man, glad you made it.” Jared said, not standing from his seat on his couch when Jensen let himself in through the front door of his apartment. Gen and the kids were with family in Austin in their new home, so Jared was by himself for the majority of this season.

“Yeah, thanks for the call.” Jensen said sarcastically.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I… interrupt something?” he enunciated.

“No.” Jensen replied immediately and a little too quickly. “No. Well—maybe? I don't know.”

That was enough to make Jared quickly stand. His long limbs carried him to where Jensen was pacing, fists shoved tightly into his leather jacket when his friend reached him. “Tell me what happened.”

“Well.” He began, “We kissed.”

“Yeah, and?” Jared probed.

Jensen looked at his friend with a slightly stunned expression, “I… I don't know, man. I don't think I’ve ever had a kiss like that. It was just supposed to be rehearsal kiss, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

Jared hid the smirk that was sneaking below the surface, an unmistakable glint in his friend’s eye—it wasn’t just a kiss. There was more to be told. “Okay, what else happened?”

Jensen paused, his eyes widening with realization as he replayed the rehearsed scene in his mind, “I said her name.” he all but sighed.

“Huh?” Jared asked, confused.

“In the scene… I said Y/n instead of Y/c/n… when I said, ‘I love you’. It was part of the script and I—I messed up. I let it slip.”

Jared could sense the battle raging in his friend’s mind, so he pushed further, “Okay, so what is it?”

Jensen raised a brow, curious as to where his friend’s mind was leading, “What do you mean?”

Using his height to boost himself, Jared perched against his kitchen counter, his long legs and torso making it easy to prop his hips against the marble and gestured towards his friend, “What’s holding you back? What’s making it so hard for you to admit that it wasn’t a slip up at all, but that you actually do feel that way for her? You said it was about your friendship—that you didn’t want to ruin it, but could it be something deeper than that? I get it if you’re scared, man. You don’t want to get hurt again or put yourself out there if it’s not given back. But answer me this… Was there anything behind that kiss that makes you question it? In that moment, did you even question if she felt it too?”

Jensen let himself relive the feeling of holding you in his arms, the softness of your skin underneath his fingertips, and the fire that erupted in his chest the minute his lips touched yours.

Jared’s lip curled at the edges as he watched Jensen’s expression shift from shock and confusion to realization as he asked, “Do you really think she—”

“Yeah.” Jared interrupted, clasping his friend on the shoulder. “Yeah, I think she does. Now, the only question is: are you going to let your fear of ruining your ‘friendship’ ruin any chance with her, or are you gonna go for it? Because, if you want my advice—which you always do…” he said, giving a slight, boastful bow, “I think you should go for it. No more games, no more ‘what-ifs’… nothing. Just take the dive.”

Jensen felt his chest tighten with excitement at the thought. Giving his friend a nod and a smile, he left with a resolve and a dinner appointment with the executives of the studio fast approaching, one which he could only hope would pass quickly.

After reaching your voicemail later that night, he only contemplated stopping by your place about five hundred times before returning to his own apartment, sauntering in through the hallway littered with photos. He wasn’t always a nostalgic or ‘feely’ guy, but when it came to his friends and family, he liked to have a reminder of who was behind him through it all. He passed photos of his parents and siblings, of childhood friends who stood the test of time into adulthood, and of Jared and Misha.

Jensen took pause in front of one taken about a year ago, of the two of you on set in Impala. You were nestled under the crook of his arm, tucked into his side and holding him around his waist, but your face was beautifully lit up with laughter. Your eyes were closed, and a brilliant smile made your cheeks a rosy tint. He had just told you what was probably the lamest joke in history, but it tickled you to well into tears after the photo was snapped.

Trust. Laughter. Safety. Excitement. Love. Everything he’d ever want in a relationship—and it was right in front of him.

He couldn’t wait anymore, he had to jump in.

.....

Jared bounded down the front steps in his Sam Winchester attire and clapped Jensen on the shoulder, “Hey man. You gonna take my advice?”

A grin fell upon his lips as your car slipped from view, “Yeah… Yeah, I am.”

A/n 2: I received an anon ask when I was looking for fic ideas(see below) for a Jensen x actress!reader fic a while ago, but recently got hit with a spark of inspiration. This is based off of the song “What if I Said” by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner and will be a short mini-series. Also there is a wife mentioned in some parts, but I purposefully left this person nameless as to not insinuate anything for Jensen’s real life.

Anonymous said: Hi! Just saw your post about looking for fic ideas. I’ve had this idea that I really like where reader is an actor on Supernatural and is friends with Jensen. They have a scene where they have to kiss or even just have to be right up in each other’s space and it makes them realize they like each other. It’s probably a common thing to write about, but I thought I’d ask anyway. Thanks!

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fizzyxcustard · 4 years

Note

Can I have Richard and reader with kiss that leaves breathless Also I love your stories and I worship you please and thank you

I was asked to start putting tags into prompt requests from now on. If you’d like to be added, please let me know. Written in first person and has some quite angsty and depressive undertones, so you’ve been advised. This fic was just very, very slightly inspired by recent events on the Tinder app I’d had. The rest is just pure fantasy! ENJOY!

** Reader POV **

I stared down at the WhatsApp messages that Justin had been sending me. Was I being a bitch for continuing on a conversation when I had absolutely zero interest in him? Most people would no doubt say yes, and tell me I was leading him on. Why had I even gone back on Tinder? Friends had been telling me it was only for one night stands and random hook ups, nothing in the vein of significant relationships, which is what I was looking for. I wasn’t even looking for it. Especially not when I had had a major crush on my friend Richard since the first time I’d met him. He’d already made it clear to me that his job came first; well, maybe not told me vocally, but I could see through his behaviour and the way he spoke about his career that settling down was something that he wasn’t interested in just yet.

Another sexual innuendo. It was one after another. I closed down WhatsApp and turned back to my computer screen, hiding my phone in my handbag as my manager came walking over. “Meeting in five minutes,” she told me.

When I got home that evening I made my dinner and checked my phone again, a fork in one hand and my iPhone in the other.

You’ve gone quiet. Stuck for words? I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and throw my phone down, listening to it thump on the table. “Yeah, you wish, pal,” I growled to myself.

I knew I wasn’t interested in this guy, but had still kept him coming back. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t help but break down into tears. The pain of wanting someone so out of reach was killing me inside, eating away day after day. So instead I was trying to close that void by talking to someone else who may just have been someone nice enough to date and turn my attention elsewhere for a short while. Surely though, Richard would always be in the background and I’d live a life of what if, and then if he eventually settled down himself and found happiness, I’d be left miserable.

I took a shower a short time later and stood in the corner, my head against the tiles. The red hot water burned my skin and I knew I deserved the pain. I don’t know how long I stood there in the shower as my music played out, echoing around the room.

I checked my phone after drying my hair and saw that Richard had text me.

Do you fancy getting together tomorrow? I’m back home for a short while and have missed you.

My heart suddenly jumped and I couldn’t help but grin, slapping my hand to my face like an idiot. He’d missed me?

We organised for Richard to come to my flat at midday as the following day was Saturday, which meant a well-earned day off from work. I’d also offered him my spare bedroom if he wished to use it; the travel to mine would be a couple of hours.

It seemed like forever as I waited the next morning for Richard to arrive. I kept checking my flat constantly, making sure everything was in order. Cushions plumped on the sofa, all my main surfaces polished and cleaned, spare room duvet changed, bathroom clean. Everything was ready, but I had this feeling I’d forgotten something.

Suddenly the front door knocked. I took a deep breath and walked to the door with my back straight, ready to give a big smile.

As I opened the door, I immediately felt the butterflies in my stomach. This man always made my insides turn and my heart hammer inside my chest.

He dropped his bag and came to me quickly, where we embraced. This hug felt different somehow, tighter and seemed to last longer. Oh, how divine he smelt and how warm he was. I could have stayed like that forever, with him bent over my small frame, holding me tight, never letting go.

We both walked into the flat, a small silence in the air. Until he broke it. “How have you been?” he asked.

I let Richard sit down at the dining room table first and then offered him a drink, finally starting to answer his question. “I’ve been okay,” I replied. “Working, plodding along, the usual.”

The room suddenly seemed to have become so tiny and a huge weight was sitting on my chest. I wasn’t okay, far from it. I’d need to try and make him think I was alright, lie, pretend my life was fine and dandy, when in actual fact it was dropping apart around me.

“I’ve been chatting with a bloke named Justin from Tinder,” I said, flicking on the kettle.

“Oh,” Richard replied. “Is he nice?”

I couldn’t see Richard’s face, and really didn’t want to face him. There was no way I could hide my expressions; I’d always been terrible at lying and deception through facial expression. My face and body language nearly always gave me away.

“We’ve only been talking about a week...”

“Is he nice?” Richard asked again, this time I could sense something in his voice, a dominance and slight agitation. “I want to make sure he’s good for you.”

“He’s alright,” I replied simply.

“Just alright?” Richard asked again.

As I poured hot water into the mugs, I heard footsteps behind me.

** Richard POV **

Oh, fuck, was I losing her?

I’d left it too long and now....

But I could sense that she was holding something back, something too painful to tell me. We’d been friends for almost eighteen months and her presence in my life had only made things more bearable. I was able to sleep better at night, feel more content with my performances, and have a confidence all of my own because I knew she was in my life.

I was on the verge of losing this amazing woman to some guy who would never have any idea about her. He should have excited her, made her smile and glow, but no, all I could see in her was pain.

I touched her shoulder. “Talk to me,” I encouraged.

Please, just talk to me. Tell me you’re okay.

“I don’t even know why I went back on Tinder...” she said, her voice only just audible. However, I seriously felt that her demeanour was something that was much deeper than just some guy she’d been talking to over Tinder.

“It’s more than just that,” I said. “I know you enough by now. It’s part of it.”

She turned around and looked up at me, and I saw tears in her eyes. They tore me down, stripped me of every piece of strength that was within me. My reaction mirrored her; her pain was mine.

“He seems nice and everything, but it’s like all he can talk about is sex,” she began. “The conversations seem to perk up as soon as sex is mentioned, and I can’t be bothered with someone like that. I don’t even know why I’m on Tinder anyway. It’s like society tells you that you have to have someone to be happy, and I’m gradually succumbing to that.”

“You’re a strong woman,” I told her, and I meant every word. She took no shit from anyone and that was one of many things about her that I wished I could have had within myself. I wanted her strength, her tenacity, her love of adventure, her spirit. “Probably the strongest woman I’ve ever known next to the women in my family. You know what you want in life and you’re not prepared to compromise on that. So why are you going after someone who only cares for one thing? You deserve someone who would move fucking mountains for you.”

I turned away from her, feeling the embarrassment rise. She probably knew by now that I loved her. I’d loved her for almost as long as we’d known each other. And it had only been in the last couple of months that I’d been able to admit it to myself: I was in love with her. Of course, I wanted to make love to her, but that was only one part of a huge whole. I could never treat her like she was only there for one purpose. I’d treat her in the way all women deserved.

I couldn’t hold back anymore. This was my only chance to show her how I felt, and I knew that if I fucked it up now then I would never have the chance again and would live in deep regret.

My whole body was shaking, but I knew I needed to do it.

I turned back to her, to see her eyes wide. And I moved towards her, putting my lips to her. I held my breath, waiting for her to respond, terrified she wouldn’t. But she did, wholeheartedly. I felt every single movement of her soft lips beneath mine and slowly the kiss became deeper. My hand instinctively cupped her cheek, and I felt that warmth, probably from a blush. I vowed in those moments that I would protect her always, in every way I knew how to.

As we parted, she looked up at me, smiling between hitched breath.

***************

Follow Forever tag list: @himoverflowers @shikin83 @theincaprincess @deepestfirefun @nowiloveandwilllove @houseofrahl @mynameisnoneya1991 @blankdblank @captainrainbowpanda @cd1242 @c-s-stars @thorins-magnificent-ass @patanghill17 @inumorph @leah-halliwell92 @msjava1972 @bespectacled-bunny @ghostlyandee @raindancer2004 @dottiechan @captain-almighty @hobbitlover23 @catthefearless @epicallychrissy @nelswp @adaliamalfoy @spn-obsession @armitageadoration @peneigh-dzredfohl @here2have-fun @greendragonette @thorinsraven @thophil2941btw @princessoferebor94 @banlaochranda @wilhelmyna @gabrieleaquaman @rachel1959 @serpensortia06 @rcrispina @kategorically-challenged @tigereyesf @jumpingmanatee @tschrist1 @inlovewithamantwicemyage @aspiringtranslator @princessofthefandomrealm @letsbeinspiredby @lilith15000 @lealina-scarsdale @scarsfanfictiontrash @mechromancing-cinnamon-roll @ra-of-light @jassy2101 @durinsqueen @hariclea @sherala007 @onewithleaf @michelem703 @bthtallmadge2 @marieannetora @valuedabovehoardedgold @tiredwritersworld @xxbyimm @miabee0706 @fuck-off-you-spooky-goat @legolaslovely @meganlpie @dashesofink @buckysalefty

Richard Armitage tag list: @inkededucatednnerdy @crazytxgradstudent @birdkeeperklink

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

Text

Mother dragon (1); Winchester brothers x reader

*Author’s note*

Hello everyone. Okay so this is a new series I’m planning on doing. I’ve got a few chapters already up and running so here’s the deal. This is a Supernatural fic but to combine my two great loves right now joining the cast are the boys of Bohemian rhapsody. So yeah here you all get to imagine that Joe Mazzello, Ben Hardy, Gwilym Lee and Rami Malek are apart of the SPN world. So I hope you all give this series a read and a chance and hope that you all like it. And if anyone’s interested in being tagged in future parts, just send me a message. Like, comment and reblog if you love both SPN and the BORHAP boys :)

Taglist:

@onebigfangirlworld

__________________________________________________________

Part 1

God if the guys could see me now, they’d definitely be rubbing in a ‘We told you so’ right to my face. I limped along through the woods until I got to the lake and found my old den that I once called home for a while. I groaned in pain as I held my leg and checked the wound.

Wait I’m getting ahead of myself. The name’s (y/n) (l/n), I’m 23 years old and I was born a hunter. My parents actually taught me everything I needed to know. My father trained me to be the best fighter while my mother as good a fighter as she was, she taught me more of the lore aspect of everything and anything that goes bump in the night. But when I was just 10 years old, a vampire nest had found the house and they killed my parents right in front of me.

For whatever reason they let me live, whether to gloat or for me to live with the guilt that I couldn’t save them, I don’t know. But what I did know was that from that day on I was alone.

I first met Sam and Dean on a hunt 5 years ago, they at first thought I was crazy to be so young and being involved with stuff like this, but after saving their asses from a wendigo hunt gone wrong, they changed their tune and allowed me to stick around and I’ve been with them ever since.

Just recently we had gotten word of a pair of Vetalas hunting in these woods. I told Sam and Dean to leave it all to me since I knew these Vetalas specifically. But what I didn’t tell them was that unlike any other Vetala they’ve faced, it wasn’t just two, no this was an entire pack of Vetalas.

When I was 14, a psychotic man had found a way to make the Vetala’s loyal to him and he made them do whatever it was that he wanted. Killings, kidnapping women, whatever it was they did it all for him. I gotten word of where they were hiding and killed the master but ever since then, the Vetalas had had it in for me.

Because while digging deeper into the Men of Letter’s archive, I had read that when Vetalas are bonded with a master, that bond is eternally strong and if their master is killed, they will stop at nothing to exact revenge for their fallen master.

So in order to protect Sam and Dean, I told them that I could handle this on my own, I had the homefield advantage after all, but of course I was in way over my head.

Now here I am in the woods with a bleeding leg after one Vetala had thrown me so hard I had cut it against a rock, a broken wrist and possible a concussion. It was now nightfall and I could hear their snake-like hissing and commands trying to search for me.

I hid myself with leaves and mud trying to block my scent so that they couldn’t find me. But I knew they wouldn’t leave that easily so I stayed awake the whole night in case they had found me.

By dawn, they finally left but we hunters know you can never be too sure. With my silver knife in my non-dominant hand I limped across the woods hoping to leave to find the road that would lead to my hometown so that there would be witnesses and I know for a fact that Vetalas won’t physically attack their prey before an audience.

But as the sun began to rise, I found myself turned around. I should’ve reached the road by now. Shit it had been such a long time since I’ve been here that I’ve completely forgotten which way the road to town was. If anything I must’ve gone deeper into the woods.

Suddenly a twig snapped from behind me and I could hear them tracking me.

“Hey! There she is! I’ve found her!” I heard a blonde Vetala scream out. Soon they all came charging at me, eyes revealed and fangs bared out. I ran as fast as my injured leg would allow. Jumping over rocks and logs and gripping my knife tighter and closer to me. I heard them hissing and calling out to me telling me that they were coming to get me and that I was going to pay for killing their master all those years ago.

I stopped running as I now came to a tall cliff. It was then I knew that I was trapped.

I heard them coming closer so I turned around and held my knife out and took a deep breath as I let out a cry and stood on top of a small boulder giving me a slight elevation.

“ALRIGHT YOU BITCHES! YOU WANT ME!? COME AND GET ME!!!!” Soon two black haired Vetalas came out from the woods snarling and hissing at me. “Yeah that’s right!! Come here you ol broads! You’ve waited a long time for this huh? Well so have I. Take your best shot!” More Vetalas appeared jumping over boulders in front of me or coming out from the woods until I was surrounded by all 11 of them.

This ends now. I should’ve killed all of them years ago when I had killed their master. But this time I was gonna make things right. This town has suffered long enough from these bitches, and this time they weren’t going to hurt anyone ever again.

I then let out an animalistic roar to try and intimidate them but they just kept stalking closer and closer blocking any hope of my escape. I let out a couple more roars and I could hear it echoed throughout the woods. If anyone had heard my own roars, they’d probably run because they didn’t know what the hell it was, it was that raw and animalistic.

Then it began.

Using whatever strength I had left in my legs mixed with the adrenaline bumping madly throughout my body, I tackled the first Vetala I could, bringing her to the ground and stabbed her with my knife killing her.

The blonde Vetala that had told her pack about me, tackled me off her friend using her super strength which led me to letting go of my knife. I punched her as hard as I could before gripping her hair and using my right foot, pressed it against her gut and rolled her off me.

I got up and I wildly punched any Vetala that came near me but I was soon ambushed from behind, trapped in a head and shoulder lock and I soon heard a loud pop and let out the most agonizing scream. She had dislocated my left shoulder and I felt a sweep at my legs and fell flat on my back before feeling myself being pinned to the ground and I felt a bite at my neck.

I let out a scream but it was soon muted as the venom began taking its course through my body. I felt my whole body go numb and hear the piercing loud ringing in my ears. Their voices muffled as they surrounded me but I heard the one who had pinned me down say.

“Today she dies for our master.” Her fangs grew longer and as she got closer to me; I soon saw all the Vetalas look up towards the cliff. But it was their faces that struck out to me.

They were all terrified. The one who was pinning me down about to finish me off, her eyes became horrified as she backed away from me as well as her sisters. God I wish that it was the boys who had come because if it was something more horrifying than a pack of Vetalas, then I was screwed big time.

*3rd Person POV*

Just before Denise could end the life of the hunter that took away their master, her sister Taylor cried out.

“Denise, look!” She looked up and that’s when all the Vetalas became frightened from what they were now looking up.

Perched up at the top of a cliff was a man. He looked to be about (y/n)’s age, maybe a little older, had long dark brown hair that went past his shoulders, deep brown eyes and wore dark blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. He wasn’t the most intimidating to look at, hell he looked like any normal guy you would see on the street, but that’s not what had the Vetalas afraid.

It was what this guy was.

His brown eyes soon phased from honey brown to piercing gold like a lizard and large black leather wings sprung out from his back as he let out a roar. He leapt from the cliff and slammed right in front of (y/n) protectively.

For this guy was one of the most legendary of any mythology. Ranging from different myths and legends based on whatever culture they came from; and they are well known in pop culture today.

Dragons.

The long haired dragon protectively stood guard in front of (y/n) and fought off the Vetalas. He picked one up and flew up in the air with her screaming her head off before he tossed her in the air and sent a kick her way sending her flying hundreds of miles away.

He came back down and grabbed another Vetala and heated up his hand burning her alive. Vetala after Vetala he came for, burning, clawing, biting and even shooting fire whether from his mouth or hand he slayed them all one by one until they were all killed. The dragon breathed heavily before extending his wings out and letting out the most fearsome roar he could muster.

It was then the dragon took notice of (y/n) down on the floor. He walked towards her and knelt down beside her and slowly turned her over onto her back so that he could see her face. His eyes narrowed for a brief second before suddenly changing to eyes of recognition.

*My POV*

From what I could see, I just saw large wings and fire surrounding me. The ringing in my ears continued to ring louder and I just wished that it would stop. Suddenly I saw boots standing in front of me before I saw black jeaned legs kneeling before my vision. I was then slowly turned on my back and I finally got a good look at the guy’s face.

Long dark brown hair and brown eyes. His face looked so familiar and that’s when it hit me.

Deacon? Oh my god it was Deacon. And my is he a big, big dragon now.

His eyes first narrowed down at me but I guess he finally put the pieces together too and remembered who I was.

“Mum.” I could faintly hear him. I tried to speak but my voice wouldn’t speak up. I was soon picked up in his arms and he nuzzled my face. His long hair brushed against my face tickling me.

Oh my god I can’t believe this! Deacy was alive, after all these years! Oh my god…..I wish I could hug him. Why can’t I hug my child? After he nuzzled and purred against my face, he soon took notice of my bitemark and I felt him beginning to lick it.

Thanks to his dragon saliva which I had discovered had healing properties, I slowly began to feel my fingers twitch and move again. He kept licking the wound on my neck until I was finally able to touch his back.

He stopped licking my neck and he raised his head up tears in his eyes and a sad but happy smile spread across his face.

“My Deacy…….you got big.” He laughed softly and said.

“Yeah, I did. Oh mum I’ve missed you so much.”

“And I you my darling.” He then picked me up bridal style and he told me to hold on tight. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his wings soon came out and he took off flying.

We soon arrived at a cave hidden deep within the mountains where he said I would be safe and healed. Deacy set me down on a smooth elevated rock platform then knelt down in front of me brushing the strands of hair that fell over my face tucking it behind my ears. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and choked out.

“I’m so sorry Deacy.”

“About what?” he questioned.

“That day…..the avalanche….if I hadn’t stayed there, you wouldn’t have to be alone. I never meant to leave you I—”

“Hey, hey—”

“I tried to fight back really I did but they wouldn’t let me and then I—”

“Mum, mum it’s okay, it’s okay.” Deacy wrapped his arms around me placing my head over his chest allowing me to hear his strong heartbeat. “What’s done is done, I don’t blame you for what happened. You helped save that man’s life. Had you not then he would’ve died.”

“But what about you? I abandoned you Deacy, how—how can you even stand to be near me, let alone forgive me?”

“Because you’re my mum. No matter what, you will always be my mum. Nothing can ever change that.” He said as he cupped my face in his hands wiping away the tears that fell down my face.

“When did you ever get so wise?” I choked out as a smile came across my face.

“I had a great teacher.” He said with a smile which made me laugh softly. He nuzzled my face with a loud dragon purr. I smiled and wrapped my arms around my baby boy and kissed his temple.

“I still can’t believe how big you’ve gotten in such a short time.”

“Dragon’s human forms age a bit quicker to fit the physicality of our dragon sizes. Mostly it goes a couple years, then after the adolescent years it goes by decades until it sudden freezes for several hundred years before aging once more.”

“Well that I knew, after all I raised you from the time after you shortly hatched. It’s just that…..last I saw you, you were a scrawny, little teenage boy and now look at you.”

“Hey I wasn’t scrawny! I was lean.”

“Sure you were.” I teased.

“Oh okay I see how it is,” he then tackled me onto the smooth stone and began tickling me. Not just with his fingers, but with gentle love bites on my neck along with his long hair brushing against my skin. I laughed and tried to push him away but he stayed close and kept tickling me.

What felt like an eternity, he finally stopped leaving me breathless along the stone bed. He then took notice of my swollen wrist and he said.

“How’s your wrist?”

“Honestly I can’t even feel it anymore.”

“Here let me see it.” He held out his hand and I placed my dominant hand in his and he held his other hand over my wrist, very gently touching it and I soon saw a gold light shine between his palms as well as around my wrist.

There was a slight tingle but then it faded away and he released my wrist and asked.

“How’s it feel now?” I flicked my wrist around and there was no pain at all.

“How—how did you learn to do that Deacy?”

“A friend of mine taught me. I’ll explain everything later, right now you should get some sleep. I know the Vetalas kept you up all night and you look exhausted mum.” As he spoke I let out a long, tired yawn and cleared my throat saying.

“Oh Deacy I’m sorry…..”

“No, no it’s fine. Now lie down and get some sleep.” I yawned and lay against the smooth, cool stone bed. I tried to get comfortable but that’s when I felt an arm go underneath my head. When I turned around I saw that Deacy had slipped his strong arm under my head like a pillow.

He smiled lovingly before his large black wing sprouted from behind his back and covered over me like a blanket, but also shielding the sun away from my eyes so that no light would disturb my sleep.

“Goodnight mum.”

“Night Deacy, I love you.”

“Love you too.” I felt him nuzzle my cheek before he kissed it and soon I fell into the comforting wing of my son and his dragon body heat kept me warm.

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meganwinchester1999 · 6 years

Text

Rough Rides and Cotton Candy

Pairing: Cas x Reader

Characters: Reader, Castiel, Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester

Word Count: 1003

Warnings: Dean’s dirty innuendos (yes that’s a warning), fluff, a tiny bit of angst and implied smut

A/N: This fic was a WIP that I started over a year ago now and never got to finish it because I had no inspiration until now. Also, this is the first fanfic I have posted in a while so I apologise if it’s not good as I’m a bit rusty when it comes to fanfic writing. This is unbeta’d so all mistakes are mine and feedback is really appreciated. Tags are at the bottom.

You raised your eyebrow and tilted your head in confusion, as soon as you saw what Cas put in front of you, “Really, Cas….you wanna go to a fun fair?”

A blush appeared on Cas’ cheeks, which you always thought was adorable as fuck as you found he blushed a lot usually around you. It was sweet in a way so you always tried to make him blush as much as you could. You got pulled out of his thoughts when you saw him look down, hearing him whisper, “Well I've never been to a funfair before and well… it looks fun from what I've seen.”

You sighed deeply, shaking your head and wondering if you should give in. You obviously couldn't say no to him, however you didn't want to say yes either as the last time you went to a funfair, it didn't end too well.

“Cas…..” You looked up at him and straight into those bright blue eyes that you was always so attracted to, “O-Okay, we can go but let me go and see if we have a case first, alright?”

You saw a massive smile appear on his face as he walked out of your bedroom, leaving you a bit confused as to why he wanted to go to a fair in the first place.

You sighed again, quickly getting changed into some jeans, a plain t-shirt, your leather boots and jacket and also you grabbed a knife just in case before you walked out to the library where you knew Sam and Dean were.

“Hey, you two!” You walked over to the table and saw them both on their laptops, most likely trying to find a case since you all hadn’t been on one for a while.

Sam and Dean looked up, smirking when they could see that you are dressed, “Oh….hi, Y/N.” You saw that Dean was trying not to say something and it got you very curious.

“Right spit it out, what don't you wanna tell me? I can see it in your eyes, Winchesters.” You crossed your arms and stared at them with the resting bitch face that you learnt from them.

Sam and Dean stood up and shook their heads, “Nothing, Y/N.” They started walking out of the library but not before Dean kneeling down to your ear, “One thing I will say to you is fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a rough and bumpy ride.” He grinned widely as him and Sam made their way out of the library and you saw Sam slap Dean on the arm while shaking his head.

“What does he mean fasten your seatbelt?” You mumbled to yourself, sitting down and waiting for Cas to hurry up.

After, what seemed like forever, Cas finally came running into the library and hugged you tight, “Sorry it took me so long, Sam and Dean wanted to talk to me...about something”

You had noticed he took a long pause and that made you want to ask about what Dean said to you. But, you decided to leave the subject of that for now until you felt like it was the right time.

“Oh it's fine, Cas no need to apologise.” You smiled softly before kissing his cheek, “So, let's go to the fair then.”

Cas suddenly held your shoulder and before you knew it, you were both at the fair, “Damn it, Cas give me some warning next time before you fly us somewhere.” You bent over, feeling dizzy and feeling like you was about to be sick which is what always happened when Cas flew you anywhere. It had only happened once before and you thought once was enough

Cas tilted his head and you could see that he had a worried expression on his face, “I'm sorry, Y/N I will remember for next time and don't worry I'll heal you.” He touched your forehead and after feeling something surround you, you felt a whole lot better.

“Thanks, Cassie.” You slowly stood up and looked around, “Right what do you wanna do first?” You saw him look around with a look of amazement and wonder at all the rides and stands there were. You would have been lying to yourself if you didn't find it cute.

After, about a minute, he pointed to the bumper cars and that is where your amazing night began. You and Cas tried everything out, including him trying cotton candy for the first time, which was hilarious, and being with him actually made you forget about your bad experiences with fairs.

The last ride you both went on was the ferris wheel, which had been your favourite since you was a little girl. Once, you and Cas got to the top and it stopped, you looked around and saw the beautiful view all around you. Up until that moment, you had nearly forgotten how breathtaking it was being at the top of the ferris wheel with people walking on the ground underneath you.

“Y/N…” You had heard Cas say which pulled you out of your old memories. You had turned to face him and without any warning, his lips were on yours and he was gently kissing you.

‘Oh my god Cas is actually kissing me.’ You thought to yourself and you couldn’t help but kiss him back. You found he was a better kisser than you thought he was going to be and it was better than all of your dreams about him.

Soon enough, the kiss started to become more deeper and frantic as you both needed more and you both didn’t need words to say how you felt because you poured all the love and feelings in to the kiss.

Before you knew it, you were both suddenly back in the bunker, in your room and you found out that night that Dean was right about one thing. You definitely did have a rough ride but you loved every second of it.

Forevers and people who may be interested: @dutchlovergirl @heavenslildevil @ackleholic96 @sams-little-toy @onlygodcanjudgeme-sh @styles-rae @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @castielspahdehrah @just-another-busy-fangirl

People from @mrswhozeewhatsis’ taglist: @vintagevalentinexx @thinkwritexpress-official @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @ezauraemmaline @beriala @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @deandoesthingstome @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @mrsjohnsmith @manawhaat @growleytria @samtomydeanwinchester @i-never-said-a-pilot @thewinchestielboys @supermoonpanda @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @becs-bunker @kittenofdoomage @samanddeanwinchester67 @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @Lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls @shortandlongstories @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @bkwrm523 @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @for-the-love-of-dean @winchesterfiesta @sleep-silent-angel @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @winchesters-princess @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @katnharper @impossible-box @tia58 @faegal04 @castiels-forbidden-angel @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @saving-things-hunting-family @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @babypieandwhiskey @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @revwinchester @klaineaholic @pinknerdpanda @quiddy-writes @inmysparetime0 @alangel1895 @evilskank-inthemegacoven @there-must-be-a-lock @rockhoochie

#castiel x reader #fluff #a little angst #implied smut #Castiel #supernatural #SPN #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic

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destielreclists · 6 years

Note

Hey! So I really love this pairing but I’m not a fan of AUs and it feels like AUs are everywhere. Any good canon-compliant or even just canon verse with a twist stuff out there?

Hey, Anon. I remember when I wasn’t a fan of AU’s, too. Needless to say I was desperate for any SPN Verse I could get my hands on.

Moral of the story is: don’t worry, boo. I gotchu.

Some of my personal Supernatural Universe faves would be:

The Consequences of Falling by: Fayjay (e, 37.1k)

The Girlfriend Experience by: rageprufrock (e, 15.3k)

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built by: MajorEnglishEsquire (t, 14.6k)

Hummingbirds by: strangeandcharm (e, 25.4k)

Some Assembly Required by: narrow_staircases (m, 46.9k)

And then before I give you more recs, here’s a list of resources (tags) you may find helpful:

Supernatural Universe Tag on:

destielreclists

destielfanfic

dailydoseofdestiel

destielfanficgaloreficrec

destielfanfictions

destielfanficrecs

On DeanxCas Fic Fecs:

non-AU tag

bunker fics tag

On Archive of Our Own:

bunker [related] tag

hunter husbands tag

canon compliant tag

post-canon tag

canon universe tag

Now here are some more fic that comes to mind and that I thoroughly enjoyed (plus a few that aren’t strictly SPN verse, but also aren’t AU? - you’ll see what I mean…):

Are you there Dean Winchester? It’s me, God. by: bunnymacool

Dean Winchester has grown used to God dicking around in his life the last couple years. But this crap? This takes the CAKE … or pie, rather. Now he’s been thrown a whole new curve-ball. The kind that has ended the Civil War in Heaven … but resulted in Raphael taking over, and hunting for Dean’s ass on a silver platter. Not to mention dealing with Balthazar acting like a self-righteous prick, Sam having some big damn epiphany on his big brother’s sexuality, and Cas eying him up like he’s the world’s juiciest cheeseburger. All that mixed with the chance to fix it all and set everything to rights … but only if Dean is willing to sacrifice himself. Again. Seriously, if he ever meets that bastard God he’s gonna- … oh hey, Chuck! What are you doing here?

Circadia by: imogenbynight

4-01 is a monster undeserving of a name.

In a facility known only as Circadia, he serves a life sentence in punishment for terrible crimes he cannot remember, and is told to be grateful to have forgotten what those he left behind cannot.

Meanwhile, convinced that he is nothing but a poisonous presence in the lives of those he loves, Dean is attempting to track down Gadreel when Sam calls with bad news: Castiel has disappeared without a trace.

The Day The World Went Away by: pyjamagurl

After being reunited with Sam and leaving Lisa, Dean is finding that adjusting back into the hunting lifestyle is harder than he thought it would be. When a particular hunt goes badly, he gets knocked out, only to awaken five years in the future. Things are definitely different; Castiel is a hunter, Sam is married and things between Dean and Castiel have gone somewhere Dean really hadn’t expected. And somewhere in all of this there is a lesson to be learned.

A Distant Mirror by: zatnikatel

Dean finds that his heart is racing, and his throat is suddenly thick. He swallows once, almost gasps it out, his need to know.“Show me.”The words are scarcely out of him before Castiel’s fingers are tapping softly on his forehead, and the air is suddenly oddly heavy with something; with age, with knowledge, with a gust of wind that buffets the curtains, with a crackle of sounds, with the scent of salt, and copper and—

Dry Clean Only by: PersephoneSmee

There were only two hunter-friendly drycleaner-laundromats in the US, and My Little Warsh House in Okeana, Ohio, belonged to Harry Mencher. In the aftermath of Cas’s Leviathan possession and disappearance, life and laundry must go on.

Feel by: zatnakitel

You feel me…you always will.

The Fourth Wall by: entanglednow

What happens when a few certain hunters, and a one angel of the Lord become just this side of obsessed with *gulp* Supernatural fanfic? Nothing short of greatness… depending on which of the three you’re asking.

Head full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise by: nurfherder

When a witch’s spell goes awry, Dean transforms. However, even after the dust settles, we can’t change the things we’ve done or revealed about ourselves. It’s time to look inside and figure out who we really are, and who we really love. Completed Work. (Original story as seen on my tumblr, nurfherder.)DeanCas, multiple characters, semi-AU after Season Five. Only first part gender-bend. Christmas time.

How Still My Heart by: cadignan

Charlie hadn’t been waiting for the call, but it’s not exactly a surprise to hear from Dean.

“Cas? You want me to find Cas?”

*this fic is available to registered AO3 users only

How To Romance a Human by: cloudyjenn

Castiel consults Cosmopolitan magazine in order to win Dean’s heart.

Keeping Faith by: zoemathemata

After the apocalypse is over, Dean and Cas become a family when they take in a little girl.

A Night at the Museum by: swordofmymouth

AU. For anyone who’s seen 5.04 all the way through, and wondered what happened afterward, in the Year of Apocalypse, 2014 – this is that story.

*this says AU, but I think canon divergent is a more accurate description as it’s written in the SPN universe.

Not Usually A Good Thing by: cloudyjenn

Five ways Castiel made Dean feel.

The Pillow Verse by: anythingtoasted, clockworkrobots, inplayruns, outpastthemoat

This is a story of the things that happen after the fall.

A canon-based domestic!fic shared universe set in the Men of Letter’s bunker, The Pillow ‘Verse follows Dean, Castiel, Sam, and their small cohort of rabble-rousers through stories of love, nest building, family, and healing following the 8x23 Supernatural finale Sacrifice.

Redemption Road by: darksilvercat, daymarket, dotfic, electricskeptic, jackvelvet, murron, nanoochka, nyoka, peroxidepest17, shane_mayhem, squeemonster, swordofmymouth, takadainmate, tiptoe39, zatnikatel

With Castiel having set himself up as the new God, drunk on power and volatile as a nuclear reactor, Dean, Sam, and Bobby find themselves on the run from the jealous, capricious monster wearing the face of their friend. Desperate for protection and wary of his brother’s mental state since Castiel unlocked Sam’s memories of Hell, Dean knows Castiel must be defused before he can wreak further havoc in Heaven or on Earth. Although Bobby advocates for destroying Castiel by whatever means necessary, Dean is convinced the Cas he once knew still remains, buried somewhere beneath the mass of poisonous souls and calling out for help. Determined to save the angel who once rescued him from Hell and redefined his purpose in life, Dean himself must resist the allure of the false deity vying for his obedience, and come to terms with the knowledge, long-suppressed, that his feelings for Castiel run much deeper than brotherhood. It is this bond, and the dubious distinction of the Righteous Man, that will ultimately grant Dean access to where Castiel’s grace languishes in Purgatory. However, what Dean brings back with him is broken, angry, and only half-angel, certainly not the Castiel he remembers—and nor is it the only thing that returns to Earth with them…

The Shattered One by: MissAnnThropic

When it struck Castiel, he was in mid-flight. It dropped him out of the sky like a sparrow buffeted by gale-force winds. Castiel set down the first place he could find. He ended up standing in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.

*There is a sequel to this, but I stopped reading about half way through so I can’t recommend it officially as I haven’t finished it. It’s called The Unbroken Ones if you’re interested.

The Story Of You And Me by: the_diggler

Dean wakes up in bed next to a very human Castiel, and a journal in his own handwriting that tells him it’s two years in the future. The house looks a lot like Bobby’s, and Sam lives there too… He just can’t remember how they got from angels falling in the sky – to comfortable domesticity.

While there is much in the journal Dean doesn’t remember, there is much of their story he’s always known. And as he settles into the routine of his new life and relationship with Castiel, it quickly becomes something he doesn’t know how to live without.

Thursday’s Child by: strangeandcharm

Thursday’s child has far to go.

Tripping by: Hatteress

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn’t afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean’s life.

the world is ours to take by: casfallsinlove (tumblr link)

Dean was right about the heater; it’s one of the only things that works properly in this room, thirty years old as it is, and his skin prickles with the welcome heat as he strips off his jacket and t-shirt, shimmies out of his jeans. Down to only his underwear he stifles a yawn and crawls back into the nest of blankets Cas has created. His spot is long since cold but Cas’s body is a furnace and he nestles his way in until he can rub his frozen nose on the back of Cas’s neck.

And finally the not AU’s not SPN verse ones:

Yellow Moon by: coffeeandcheesecake

King of the Road by: loversantiquities

Kiss You When It’s Dangerous by: zoemathemata

Happy reading!

#spnv #ask #Mod list

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ocegion · 7 years

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Fanfic author interview

Tagged by @neganstonguething, thank u so much <3

1. What inspires your work most? (The show it is based on, the actor who portrays a certain character, maybe the character itself…? It could even be an experience.)

I don’t have experiences of my own to inspire any sort of interesting story tbh. I think that the most driving factor when I write something is a character’s personality and what can be made with it. When I’m writing I’m most likely trying to get a grasp on a specific feeling out of the dynamic between the characters, so yeah, most of the time I’m gonna be inspired by the character’s personality and wanting to play with it. Another very large factor is when I see other authors doing amazing fics and making me think, ‘fuck, I wish I could do something like this! Let’s get to work.”

2. What is your favorite fandom to write for?

The Walking Dead, no doubt. Not only is it my current fandom, but it has responded and stimulated me in a way I couldn’t imagine. I mean, I know I’m biased but that’s my answer at the moment. It’s what’s flooding my head now and it’s what gets me some reaction at all, so yeah, it’s what I enjoy most. I still have some ideas for SPN that I wish to tackle some day, but I don’t get the excitement from them I get from TWD ideas.

3. Which perspective do you prefer writing in? (First-person, third-person)

First person feels so weird to me lmao, I don’t think I’d be able to pull it off even if if I tried my damnest. So yeah, third person, it feels better and more natural to me. 4. Do you prefer writing reader fics or OCs?

I have never written any self insert. The point to fics, at least to me, is having fun with already-existing characters and dynamics. I can get nothing from shoving a blank slate into that world and act like I should have any emotional attachment to it. I just’s cant. Besides, ‘Negan leaned in and kissed ‘y/n’ has gotta be one of the most mood killing things ever lmao.

As for ocs, I don’t have any tbh. I’m trying to work on it tho, see if I can do anything.

5. Do you prefer writing longer works or one shots?

Some time ago I’d have answered one-shots. Now, though, I definitely prefer longer stuff simply because it allows me to go deeper into an idea and have my fun with it. Besides, looking at it later on and thinking ‘yep, I wrote that’ is a nice af feeling.

6. Do you take requests?

Y E S have them coming pls, I might take forever to do them ( @holyjeffreydeanmorgan I haven’t forgotten you I swear I’m on it) but I love seeing a request. It’s so very lovely to think that someone would ask me to write something because they’d like it <3

7. Do you enjoy getting random Asks?

I mean right now I can’t think of any instance when I have gotten any? But yes, I’d very very much love to! :D I’m open to listening and I like talking to people, be more than welcome!

8. What inspires the names for OCs (or extra character names) in your works? Do you pick them from real life or just select them at random? A mix?

For the most part if I gotta give a character a name I just pick one I like and I feel sounds like it’d match them. No deep reasoning here I’m afraid :p 9. If your story(ies) have OCs, are their appearances based on real people or celebrities? If so, who?

I don’t think so? I have made ONE mention of a non-canon character in a fic and his appearance was kinda vague, I didn’t put a face to him.

10. How long have you been writing fanfiction?

When did the first Hobbit movie come out? 2013? Probably then, but it was just a one time lame thing. I had also written a pokémon fic and a digimon one years before lmao. I started writing more or less consistently in SPN, in 2015.

gonna tag @getting-grimey @binegan @hatterized @envydean (HOW DID I FORGET U) @lafitte @anarchycox and uuuuuh I dunno who else?

#about my writing #thanks for tagging! :D

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eucharistsamruby · 3 years

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you know what i take back the bad things i’ve said about people who ship destiel and haven’t watched supernatural sometimes it’s fun to read fanfiction for shows you’ve barely seen bc then you don’t get frustrated when it’s ooc because u don’t really know what in character even is

#the ppl who try to argue shit about the show without having watched it are a different story #anyway i’ve been reading fic for a show i have seen approximately 6 episodes of and i’m having a good time #my head is unburdened by thoughts such as ‘this is ridiculous the characters would never do that’#instead i just get to enjoy the silly fic plots and think things such as ‘this is ridiculous no human would behave this way’#obv i’m not gonna like. actively participate in the fandom but i’m having a good time with fic #also like. when i care more about media i get frustrated by the lack of complexity in the fanfiction #i want something deeper and more interesting for spn fic than i do for this random show

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aceprosecuties · 7 years

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1, 4, 5, 13

1) of the fic you’ve written, which are you most proud of?

Right now I’d say it is a tie between my Supernatural fic ‘State of Nature’ and the Blackmadhi fic I’m currently working on, ‘The Dawn will Come,’ but for different reasons! The former was the first longfic I had done after quite a long time, and actually is the longest thing I think I’ve ever written. I also did a decent amount of research into angel lore in different sects of Christianity and Judaism and used that pretty extensively since I developed two original characters based on archangels and had Castiel be an archangel as well. I also actually am very pleased with the overall plot, and had it basically mapped out from the beginning chapter which is kind of rare for me to do! A few people told me they liked it better than the actual season 11 that came out, which made me all happy and stuff. I also tried to keep it within the overall tone of the show, which I think I accomplished pretty well!

The second is because I have been able to explore some deeper themes like ptsd and anxiety, and I’ve tried to keep my descriptions of those things pretty accurate (I hope I’ve done alright)! I also kind of like that I have taken what was meant to be a one-shot and turned it into a longer fic that I’m actually pretty happy with, and I now do have an end in mind...I just need to figure out the steps to get there! Also, it was the first time I started exploring Blackmadhi, so I guess there’s a nostalgia because it was the beginning of my journey into Blackmadhi hell, and I’ll never turn back

4) what are some themes you love writing about?

I’m kind of odd in the sense that I really enjoy a bunch of different themes that are kind of on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of...idk how fluffy they are, if that makes sense. For one, I like exploring things like mutual love/pining and the whole friends to lovers trope and themes adjacent to those. And found family!

However, probably even more, and...idk I guess part of me feels weird saying this because sometimes tumblr really doesn’t like it...but I love darkfic themes. Any kind of psychological trauma and manipulation are some things I just really enjoy exploring, and I weave that in with stuff like stockholm syndrome and visions through nightmares in order to try and describe a situation where a person’s mind has been toyed with and they’re trying to either fight it or are succumbing to it. Psychological torture where the victim kind of doesn’t realize what is happening until long after things are done, and they have issues coming to terms with what happened to them, etc., etc. Sometimes I like mixing that in with some sort of physical pain, but the psychological aspect is what I really enjoy.

(Before anyone asks, because I know that idk tumblr has a weird checklist on what things you can like when it comes to dark stuff: I like this a lot because it did somewhat happen to me in the past and I like exploring things through the victim’s POV to recognize that these are not things that are their fault, even though they think they are weak or whatever and should have realized it earlier, etc., etc. All that kind of fun stuff.)

5) what inspires you to write?

This is kind of difficult for me to answer, because I’m not entirely sure? I really just write when I think of something particularly interesting, and I guess I keep going partially due to my own desires but also partially due to positive feedback! I just kind of get into these modes where I want to write, but I don’t always know where it comes from. I’ve been writing for...ever, so it sometimes is second-nature, but sometimes the modes I get in are for different types of writing. At times I’m in the mood to write creatively, whereas other times I get in the mood to write professionally/academically.

In terms of creative, I usually am inspired most by characters - recently, Simon has been my muse. In the spn fandom, it was Castiel, and I’ve done things with original characters also! It also helps if there is something in the story that I find has potential and then I kind of run with it. I tend to not do AUs all that often because I find that a lot of times, AUs lose a lot of the character’s actual personality? This isn’t always true, but I tend to fear it. So yeah, something in canon that hasn’t been explored that I find interesting is enough to get the gears going!

13) who are your favorite writers?

UH. I’M SUPER BAD AT THIS. When it comes to published authors I tend to go for series rather than authors...I guess right now my fave series is A Song of Ice and Fire, so George R.R. Martin applies?

In terms of fic...I DO THE SAME THING?? Like I follow more pairs and stuff rather than authors, but I guess right now @nerdyskeleton would be a fave? And I’ve read some of your stuff and I need to read more because it is fab but I’m just garbage at reading things a lot aha BUT YEAH.

#allie makes posts #long post #ty for asking!!#<3 #mesa-verde #allie answers

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