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#i want kanda to live on and for allen to come back to the order
swamp-spirit · 2 years
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It’s... more D.Gray-Man meta.
Anyway, something I really love about D.Gray-Man, which I think confuses a lot of people, is that it’s a tragedy hiding in a shounen. A lot of the things which are framed as Positive Shounen Growth are actually the setup for tragedy.
I think this turns off readers on two counts:
A) Though I don’t think Hoshino’s perfect, I have a lot of trust in her ability to know when a plot beat is tragic, even if it isn’t portrayed that way at the time. There’s a lot of really dissonant plot beats where the show is playing it like a victory, but, if you think about it for five seconds, are Pretty Messed Up. I think, without that trust, it can easily feel like “wait, why is this being played like a win??? Isn’t this bad???“
B) On the flipside, if you trust shounen convention, you’re going to end up feel like your ‘wins‘ keep getting ‘stolen‘. The characters keep doing things that make them powerful and selfless! Why does that keep making things bad.
Because, at the core, it’s a series about how the traits that make a good shounen hero ARE tragic. Shounen values self-sacrifice, power, and perseverance. D.Gray-Man understands that these are BAD things for a teenage child soldier. In the face of the apocalypse, having those traits may keep the characters alive, but characters becoming more ‘powerful‘ and ‘motivated‘ in D.Gray-Man often means they are actively turning away from the stable, healthy option. Often, the healthy option is not survivable, but even when the unhealthy option is heroic, it’s still tragic.
Let’s talk specific moments
Allen Makes a More Moral Choice Than Kanda Because He Doesn’t Love Anyone
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I think this scene reads very differently when you know who they’re both referring to. Kanda is living to see his wife again. For him, it’s okay to make the pragmatic choice because there’s something more important to him.
Allen makes one of the moral arguments D.Gray-Man makes a lot: that a win brought about by sacrificing innocents isn’t a win at all, but he also brings up something else.
Allen says he’s lost what was dear to him. Allen loves the whole world, but, at this point in the series, he’s the opposite of Lenalee. For Lenalee, her loved ones are her whole world. Allen doesn’t have any meaningful connections yet. The world was cruel, and then Mana wasn’t, and then Mana died. He obviously somewhat cares about Cross, but not in a ‘live for his sake‘ way.
And, in the framing of this scene, I think there’s somewhat of an argument that Allen can be selfless BECAUSE he’s emotionally isolated. He doesn’t have anyone to protect or come home to No Matter What, so it’s easy for him to put his life on the line in a way it isn’t for Kanda.
And Genuine Emotional Bonds Start to Hold him Back
As the series goes on, Allen gets to start making genuine bonds with his friends, and this canonically gives a hit to his power. He’s focused on fighting to help his friends, and, when his power fails, he tries to find his motivation in The Power of Friendship.
And his powerup comes, not from that friendship, but when he realizes wanting to help his friends has distracted him from his purpose.
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It’s very common in Shounen for a power-up to come from an emotional realization. I mean, that’s how good storytelling works. Hell, there are even examples where a power-up comes from an unhealthy realization, but that’s usually Anger Awakening Dark Power.
Combat wise, getting Crown-Clown is good! He can save Fo! He can save his friends! This is what we wanted! It’s not the forbidden dark mode that should never be activated, it’s the core heroic power.
But the realization he needs to come to in order to harness that power is to dehumanize himself and acknowledge his role as a weapon.
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And speaking of
that
...
Allen Didn’t Take His Out Because He is Held Together With Twine
Let’s rewind a little.
I think China is the first time we see how deeply broken Allen is. His determination to save lost souls and keep the promise he made to Mana is his guiding light. As long as that’s working, he seems like a fairly functional, if dangerously selfless, person, but, every time that’s threatened, he completely falls apart. He doesn’t look at other options, he just collapses until he can get back to the status quo. Inside, he’s a step away from that catatonic child. We see him hit this same wall when Mana’s love for him is called into question and he can’t function until he decides he loves Mana anyway and it won’t change anything.
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It’s important to remember here that Bak and Allen have very different info coming into this. Bak knows Allen’s weapon is still there, so he’s giving Allen an out before Allen can pressure himself. If his priority was making sure Allen could return to duty, he’d tell him, but Bak knows Allen is a parasite type. Bak is motivated not to repeat the mistakes of the past. He knows Allen taking back his weapon is dooming him to die as a child soldier. (And that Allen’s resentment for that truth could break very bad. Giant glowing torso bad.)
If Allen was motivated purely by helpful good goodness, he’d take the path offered. As far as Allen knows, he can’t be an exorcist. The path he’s trying to follow doesn’t exist. The way forward is to accept the loss and keep helping with what he does have.
But he isn’t. Bak doesn’t give Allen back his weapon because he respects Allen’s determination, he gives Allen back his weapon because Allen is completely dependent on his identity as an exorcist. From a practical standpoint, this confirms he won’t turn on his weapon and Fall, but, from an ethical standpoint, it also tells Bak he can’t save Allen. He’s pretty much a zookeeper sadly realizing the rare animal can no longer survive in the wild and, even though that would be the better choice for the animal, it’s no longer a possible one.
If the art and framing don’t make it clear enough this tragedy is intentional, later reveals do. Because now we know that Allen’s One Path Forward was always leading him to the most painful possible ending.
But let’s talk about some other tragic shounen wins.
Timothy Had No Good Options
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Let’s be clear here: He’s not wrong.
We’ve seen over and over, exorcists don’t have a choice. The parasitic power was forced on him by an abusive father. Now his options are to be hunted by akuma for the rest of his life and watch monsters kill everyone around him or become a child soldier. Either way, his parasitic power kills him young.
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The win here is not what the framing says it is, and this is where my trust for Hoshino comes in. I think we’re meant to understand this is Timothy choosing to sacrifice himself. It’s followed up with a comedic scene, and I know the quick mood switches aren’t for everyone, but I think it’s unfair to assume it means Hoshino doesn’t understand the tragedy. There are plenty of atonally cheerful moments in unarguably dark moments.
It might be the best choice Timothy has, just like taking the crystal boots was the best choice Lenalee had, but it’s still a tragic choice. The only win is that they had the agency to make the tragic choice themselves, for their own reasons.
Komui Saving His Sister Also Doomed Her
Finally, let’s talk about Lenalee again.
Personally, I will fight for Lenalee sticking with the Black Order being a fantastic character choice. It’s not her being weak-willed or naive, it comes from her being just as broken as the other exorcists.
Komui’s love for his sister starts as a gag, then becomes genuinely heart-wrenching, and it’s easy to miss that it’s also the core of Lenalee’s greatest character flaw.
Komui joining the black order saved Lenalee. She’d been mentally broken, and that connection gave her a reason to live again, but it also trapped her.
(If you remember what chapter this scene is in, please tell me so I can grab a panel)
Lenalee says once Komui joined, she understood she couldn’t leave. She sees the Black Order as home and family more than anyone else, and that’s her lifeline. She’s not fighting for the world, she’s fighting for the people she loves, especially her brother. His dependency on her may be more melodramatic, but she’s just as unhealthily dependent on him.
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The Black Order kidnapped Lenalee and forced her to fight. She saw horrific experiments, and, now in canon, has watched them hurt and use her and her friends, but she’s trapped. Her entire world is tied up in a corrupt paramilitary organization, but leaving it would mean abandoning her whole world.
I think her goodbye scene with Allen makes a lot more sense through that lens. They’re both traumatized kids held together by a single purpose. They care deeply about each other, but neither can make the choice the other might want because their guiding purposes tie them to different forces, and, without that tie, they’d become untethered.
In Conclusion
Characters in D.Gray-Man don’t become more powerful by accepting friendship, they become more powerful by hacking parts of themselves away and binding themselves to tragedy, and then the story smiles and goes ‘look, we won, we did it‘ while it holds a knife behind its back.
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arimiaromage · 2 months
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I'm back with more dgrayman doujin fangame updates! after last time where I found Kanda x Lavi fangame that got a physical edition, I decided to keep digging to find the other games the developer made while waiting for it to come in. well, I've found another!
(if these interest you, I'm going to tag all of these posts as "#dgm fangames")
I was able to find & order a disc for their first dgm fangame, Infinite Melody (also called unendliche Melodie). like before, this game was so old (from 2007!!!) and only in JP that I basically haven't been able to find anything on it. and when I got the disc in...
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...it was a preorder bonus for the game that's just a strategy guide! a bit of a letdown haha, but still interesting nonetheless. (side note: the site I found it on had translated part of the kanji as "attack"- but if you add 本 to the end of it, it suddenly becomes... strategy guide!)
so I loaded it up and found a 16 page pdf by the creator that is a guide for how to play the game. and now I'll share it online for preservation/archival purposes.
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A bit of a shoddy translation-
Hello, nice to meet you! My name is Rindo, the owner of moonlight cafe. Thank you very much for choosing the sound novel type adventure game "Infinite Melody" produced by our circle!!
They then go on to say that this is their first (?) work for dgm and that they've published several works before (other games?) so they're more familiar with that than making manga. From their experience this game isn't that hard but they wanted to make a strategy guide just incase for the people who didn't want to keep retrying. After that they talk a bit more about the game structure itself- it sounds like Kanda is the main love interest and there are 2 scenarios, one for Allen and one for Lavi. It also sounds like there's a CG gallery in the game.
So, a bit of explanations for those not used to visual novels- in Japan (especially in the 2000s) they were referred to as sound novels or adventure games rather than visual novels (nowadays you'll see them called adventure games). A love interest is a character that's romanceable for you, the player character. A route is a set of choices that leads you down a particular story, usually just meant to signify a specific character- so if you have a game with multiple love interests, then saying "the Kanda route" would mean you're talking about the storyline that happens when you romance Kanda (but "route" is not specific to just romance).
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The next section is character bios! This game is set in modern times with Allen as some sort of apprentice working for a magazine company.
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a brief translation summary-
Allen is a newbie reporter for the music magazine "Asian Music". He heard Kanda's songs over the radio years ago which got him interested, but this turned into disgust the more he learned about Kanda. That doesn't stop him from buying Kanda's new CDs, though. He lives alone in a very cheap apartment.
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Lavi works for an entertainment production company (Rozenkuroitsu? Rosenkreuz?? (????)) and Kanda's manager & music arranger. He's supposed to only be his manager but Kanda insisted on him doing arrangements too. There's more here about Lenalee being the younger sister of the company's president and her and Kanda are childhood friends with Lavi.
(side note- the oval at the top of these says "character [number]" followed by their name, and Lavi's lastname is still listed as Bookman, even in modern times. just a funny little detail)
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Kanda is a singer-songwriter who's very popular- his songs always reach the top of the ranking charts. Despite this, people fixate on his looks when mentioning him. He's currently under a lot of stress due to his increasing workload and his popularity. He's a bully who loves Perrier (the water??), quietness, and the sky.
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top one- Bak Chan (yes, that's Bak!)
Bak is the editor-in-chief for "Asian Music" and Allen's boss. He's old friends with Komui Lee, the president of the studio Kanda and Lavi work at, but he refuses to ask for special interviews because pride (?).
bottom one- Lenalee Lee
Lenalee is the younger sister of Komui, the president of the studio Kanda and Lavi work at. She's also the one who writes the lyrics for Kanda's songs. Her, Lavi, and Kanda are all childhood friends.
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next is a few screenshots of what the game looks like! lots of CGs, too bad we can't see any fully. (a CG is basically cutscene artwork)
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the next section is a quick strategy on how to get the good ending for each route. it looks like this game has a different way of setting it up- usually a "route" is for a love interest, but in this game you're able to play as Allen or Lavi and date Kanda as either of them, so the "routes" are for Allen and Lavi (despite playing as them).
Allen route
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the creator listed some of the important choices in the game and gives a small idea of how to answer them to get the best ending. for players this would be a helpful guide, but for us it'll help us get an idea of what the game covers.
the first choice is set in Kanda's office where you choose a drink. Allen hates alcohol so that's a no-go, but if you remember from Kanda's bio he love Perrier.
the next choice is when Kanda asks Allen out on a date. despite wanting to go, it might be better to decline him so both of you can focus on work.
the next choice is where to take Kanda on his day off. it should be somewhere where Kanda doesn't have to use a microphone (as that's his day job) and somewhere where people won't be staring at him (as he's basically a celebrity).
the last choice is a bit hard for me to understand- the author said they left some of these vague, and this one is basically "Kanda asked me directly!!". maybe it's a love confession? once you reach this part, the creator says you can rest easy (and maybe bully him a bit).
Lavi route
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Lavi is Kanda's manager so several of his choices are related to, well, managing Kanda.
his first choice listed is whether or not he should interrupt Kanda and Allen arguing in a room together. even if you might be in the way, Kanda might appreciate you being by his side.
his next choice is about going to Los Angeles (a vacation?). Kanda is Kanda and will be grumpy, but lying to him will make things even worse. (I'm not sure if this is Lavi trying to convince Kanda to go to LA for a vacation or Lavi going alone to LA and Kanda ends up going)
the next choice is Kanda insisting on going back home to Japan. work is important, but Kanda's health is even more important (especially as you're his manager). after persuading him, indulge in what he wants for a bit.
the last choice is.... where should Kanda sit on the plane?? if you made it this far then the creator says you can relax. they say Kanda may be stubborn but he's not a child- you don't have to always take care of him.
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you can play either route in whatever order you want, but if you get the true ending in either route, you'll get bonuses! the creator really encourages you to play both routes.
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this is a mini skit between Lavi and Allen with Kanda interjecting. It's basically Allen and Lavi arguing who Kanda likes more.
last but not least is a final credits page for the doujin circle.
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...and what's that? a new website link? let's check it out!
surprisingly.... the website is still active!!
on the website there's this description for the game, which we already kind of understand from the character bios:
見習い雑誌記者アレンは、メディア嫌いで有名なミュージシャン“神田ユウ”の取材をすることになった。同じく、神田のマネージャーのラビは多忙を極める神田の、心労を解消させる方法を模索していた。取材当日、生理的に嫌いだと思っていた神田を前にアレンはとんでもない失言をしてしまう……。  みたいなノリです。詳しくは体験版をお試しください。  最初の選択肢でアレンルート(神アレ)とラビルート(ラビュ)に分かれます。
basically- Allen works as an apprentice reporter who is assigned to interview Kanda, a popular singer who hates reporters. Lavi is Kanda's manager who is trying to find a way to relieve Kanda's stress. on the day of the interview, Allen said something (improper/embarrassing/a slip of the tongue) even though he thought he hated Kanda.
even more surprisingly, there's still a trial file on the website?! I'm not brave enough to download this lzh file right now, but maybe soon once I get an isolated environment... if you press the Trial page and then the first line under the image, there's a lzh file (a type of zip file) you can download. please only do this with virus protection on your computer or in a virtual machine, don't download strange files with no protection!!
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yep, that's about it. I'll be on the lookout for this game's physical release (that's not the guide book haha) and the developer's other games, but I hope this was interesting!
I apologize for the shoddy translations, if you'd like to translate the parts here feel free to add it as a reblog/comment. I've posted every single page from the PDF so there's nothing additional I have. if you have any more info on the developer/doujin circle feel free to add those as well.
or, maybe.... you're brave enough to try the trial version for yourself? 👀
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nonnydog · 2 years
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Thats not as bad of a cliffhanger as I thought it would be, actually. Dgm Hallow reflection (+spoilers!) below. Long post!
(I wrote this right after I finished Hallow a week ago but Ive been ditzying it up so its late. May expand kn some points later)
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(That screenshot is technically relevant bc its during Tykis speech which is a super important scene, but also I just. Really like how Hallow portrays Allen. Its all just very very pretty.)
Everything seems to be trying to set up complexity—obviously, thats obvious, agh.
Kanda views the Order as an enemy but works with them for Alma and to make up for awakening Allen/Nea. Tyki speaks to Allen about the duality (trinity?) of possessing innocence and being an exorcist and being a noah and being hunted by Apocryphos (who is innocence) and etcetcetcetc. Allen himself feels it, as he is confined and beat by the Order. An akuma lives (remains unsaved as well) because Link, representing the Order, confines him. His “Noahness” provokes his home, while his “Exorcistness” prevents him from allying with the Noah.
[is Link actually dead?]
A point I find interesting is that Allen wouldve probably went with Apocryphos if he hadnt killed Cross. He talks about how he can seperate Allen and 14, something which Allen definitely wants at that point because it would solve all his problems. When they first meet, Allen only hits Apocryphos and saves him from Tyki because he saw the memory of him murdering Cross.
[is Cross actually dead?]
The Alma Karma and Kanda arc SLAPPED. I read it several years ago, but…its just very well done. Tragic. I love it.
[Kandas not dead! Yo]
[Ill stop now.]
I actually really like Tykis speech to Allen and Allens choice to leave everything behind to figure out what the fuck he wants and what he is, on his own. Its… weirdly fitting. I wouldnt have thought of it, but I cannot think of a better direction for this story to go.
Its almost coming-of-age-esq. Everything is against Allen right now, even his own head. Im really excited to continue the manga from where Hallow left off. I know its still ongoing (and I dont have the money to buy more than a few volumes right now), but I heard Hallow ends at around vol22-23. Theres currently 27 volumes, I think. I really like this story and where its going.
Im sad at how little Lavi was in Hallow. He probably wouldve taken up too much time—they only had 13 episodes and it was mainly focused on Kanda and Allen (which I love!).
I also wanted more. Nea. Noah. Mana. I want to know all of the things about them. Allen was just about to speak with Nea, just try to understand him and talk a little, when Apocryphos came in and interrupted. Maybe we get a scene like that in the manga… though, its also difficult to tell. Nea is trying to possess Allen, he may not want to “chat.” I just want to know more about them.
Id like to talk a bit about Nea, Mana, Allen, Cross, and the Earl now… theyre a complicated bunch.
From what Ive heard online and from the 2006 anime+Hallow, heres what Ive figured out:
Cross knew Nea and Mana before Nea died. Nea died 20yrs before Allen was born. Mana and Nea are brothers (twin?), though I think Nea was the older one(?).
Mana went a bit bonkers after Nea died. Cross says he may have not even really remembered everything while he was raising Allen.
Allen is conflicted about Mana. Hes unsure if Mana loved “Allen” because he would be Nea or because he was Allen. (Points to dream where Allen is following Mana who keeps calling him the wrong name.)
Cross promised Nea he would look after Mana because Nea would rewaken near Mana eventually.
Nea is 14 and hes attempting to take over Allens mind. He wants to destroy the Earl and take over as the Earl (or at least thats what he told Earl).
The Earl, despite being the one to kill Nea when he betrayed him, still loves Nea very much. He desperately wants Nea back at his side. The other Noah, notably Sheril, are… uncomfortable with accepting the traitor.
Now, lets get into more sussy territory.
Mana is the Earl. Big “maybe.” They both wear top hats is my main evidence lol. Also Ive heard some things about it online.
Other notable things I saw in Hallow:
Allen was a little shit before Mana died. Cross notes this in the last episode of Hallow and we see some of it firsthand in earlier eps. Apparently, he adopted a lot of Manas traits (politeness and formal speech, notably) to deal with his grief.
Cross has dad energy for Allen. You cant take care of a child for that long and that intensely without some paternal instinct kicking in.
Similarly, Allen definitely felt some affection for Cross. Though their relationship is often joked as being terrible (and it certainly wasnt good, especially considering that Cross took in Allen so he could foster 14), Allen is hella pissed at Apocryphos for killing Cross.
The name thing—Cross says before Apocryphos kills him, something along the lines of “He didnt tell me his name was Allen when I met him.” Was this meant to imply his observation of Mana, or that Allen was never really Allen? Sighs.
Also, the whole Walker thing. Just very sweet in general.
Interesting that Tyki is the one to give Allen the “come to jesus” speech. Tyki is established to be a Noah who still really values and holds onto whats left of his human life, so he (to some extent) can sympathize with Allen more than other Noah. He tells Allen to leave every side and figure shit out himself, something which doesn’t immediately benefit Tyki, but will benefit Allen.
Theres an overwhelming sense of resisting/being uncomfortable with ones life being on a predetermined path. This is an fitting theme to introduce in a story that focuses heavily on religious aspects. God in dgm and hallow is an… odd figure.
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dementedfilament · 2 years
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Ramble time!
So, I was thinking over some things for Ruth while at work!
Well, I didn’t get a solid backstory for her or anything, just a few things here and there. No idea how well it fits in canon since I’ve only kinda skimmed half the series again so far xD
But anyways, some old details I remember for her is that she’s with the Order from the beginning, and doesn’t have her own intro arc like Miranda, Krory, or Timothy. She’s in General Tiedoll’s unit.
Her personality is a bit shy and naive, but hard-working. She admires the others in her team, even Kanda, though she finds him a bit scary. As the series progresses, she learns how to talk to him much more casually. She also wears glasses.
In the very beginning of the series, she tends to keep her hair cut super short, but when Lenalee loses hers, they make a promise to grow their hair out together, since Ruth’s never seen Lenalee with hair shorter than Ruth’s, and Lenalee’s never seen Ruth’s grown out.
Ruth wields a weapon-type Innocence shaped like a bow, but I don’t remember if I named it or not. She doesn’t carry a sheath, as the arrows grow off the bow itself like sort of spike-like objects. When she pulls the spikes off, the arrows will take shape, and the number of them on the bow with slowly regenerate overtime.
I don’t remember all the things I had made her arrows capable of, but I did have a few ideas for her crystal-type version. Now, I’m not sure where her crystal arc would fit in. There’s some time skips here and there in the story, so I thought about maybe having it to where she exhausts herself during the first Level 4 battle and has her arc inbetween that and the Alma arc. (That way she’ll have it by the time the current arc begins to unfold.) Exhausting herself would probably be forcing her Innocence to generate more arrows than she can handle, and having to forcibly hold whatever magic is behind them I guess. Maybe one of her abilities is like a shield? idk let me live-
Anyways, so her crystal type bow obviously looks a little different from her regular type. When not active, it forms into a large cuff on her wrist. What’s different with her new weapon type is the addition of a “scope” that enhances the vision of one eye, which will turn into a set of rings on her opposite hand (I think). The circular ornaments on the rings will form the scope (sorta like Allen’s eye mechanism, except it only enhances her vision and nothing more), and the rings will form a wing-like ornament that hovers in her hand, acting as the bowstring being pulled back. Her arrows will now be formed by her blood, which come out of the stigmata on the backs of her hands.
I imagine she probably has to carry around extra vitamins and things to make up for the blood loss. (And tbh, I had a funny headcanon involving her getting shot by akuma bullets, the virus spreading, and Krory drinks it out of her. A comedic scene of her feeling awkward about it and him being disgusted ensues, then Ruth stumbles into a wall feeling light-headed.) Eventually, besides learning how to use her scope properly (which may include a targeting feature too? I want to say she did have homing variety of arrows in her OG weapon), she also learns that she no longer has to pull the “bowstring” back entirely. She can actually “prep” the bow with the same motion, hold her hand in place, and continually fire without have to redraw the string. Building on this new ability, she eventually begins experimenting with how to fire more, and fire faster, while using less blood. She’ll make small, spherical objects akin to bullets, and instead of maybe doing something shield-like or otherwise being unable to aid her comrades much with it, she can now rapid-fire these bullet projectiles to combat akuma bullets, allowing her comrades to move freely as she defends them. (Her targeting feature could also prevent her from having to move around too much in order to shoot.)
A part of me wants her to begin questioning if there’s more to their war than they’re aware of. Not in a way that she doubts the Innocence or their reason for fighting, but she’s curious as to what the 14th has to do with anything and why the Noah are striving so hard to see him, and why Allen has to be wrapped up in this mess. (This curiosity will probably generally be a part of her personality tbh, which seems fitting for a Tiedoll unit member.)
When Kanda decides to chase after Allen, I kinda want a scene between him and Ruth paralleling the one between Allen and Lenalee (minus the, what I assume to be is, romantic undertones. I honestly don’t ship her with anyone). Except, I kinda wanted it to show her growth in understanding and befriending him, and while searching for him somewhere, she realizes he wouldn’t go a direction the Order could find him in, and manages to pinpoint him by simply knowing his character. She catches up with him and tries to stop him, which he obviously doesn’t. She tells him he’ll become a Fallen, and he’ll say he knows already. So, she’ll ask him to take her with him, as she fears her curiosity into the truth behind their war will cause her to become a Fallen also, so at least neither of them will have to go through it alone. Eventually, he manages to convince her to stay with the Order for the time being, and bids her goodbye.
She’ll probably get caught by the Order and be forced to explain before them why she was speaking with Kanda the night before he disappeared, and what about. She manages to lie and say she didn’t know where he was going, that he was simply “going out” and she didn’t know what that meant. They claim she should have known better, but she uses the excuses that Kanda always fought with Allen, so it was no guarantee he went after him, and that plenty of people had gone out that night for various reasons, thus she had no reason to assume he was going to betray them. They end up letting her go, and Tiedoll asks how she managed to lie so well. She tells him she “learned it from the best”, and Tiedoll also intentionally tells her a small lie about his plans regarding finding Kanda and bringing him home.
Later, when the General and Kanda meet up, he reveals that he brought Ruth with him. (Which...may make the above conversation a bit useless, but these are just a bunch of random ideas I had.) When promoting Kanda to a General, he says that he’ll only allow Kanda to roam outside the Order if he takes Ruth as his new apprentice, which would enable the two to more easily do as they wish without worrying about the Order holding them back. Kanda of course agrees, and Ruth and he have a humorous little conversation about how weird it’ll be for her to call him “General Kanda”, to which he tells her just to refer to him as she always has.
As far as the current stuff goes...she probably got left behind with Johnny and Tiedoll, and I guess we’ll see whenever they eventually find Kanda and Allen.
I feel like I missed something, but...anyways, here’s my big ol’ ramble.
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burrrning--soul · 3 years
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seikyoko · 2 years
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Johnny Gill appreciation post
There’s plenty of issues I have with DGM Hallow, people other than me have talked about it and honestly I don’t feel like rereading the manga AND rewatching Hallow to explain all my dissatisfaction with it, but whatever, they wanted to make it short enough for it to be 14 episodes, it’s difficult to make it 100% faithful, whatever, I understand, even though I’m sad the zombie arc and the funny part of the phantom G arc were not in here, I understand, I’m not going to nitpick even the little things.
BUT WHY THE HELL would they on purpose take out the Johnny content in such an outrageous manner? like at the very beginning, where Johnny is the one who notice that polite speech doesn’t suit “Allen” and that when he doesn’t pay attention, he slip to more casual speech. It was instead replaced by.. Lavi, and while yeah good to give more Lavi content,
It was annoying to steal another character’s very rare screentime, and besides, it was impossible for Lavi to do this interaction, even if Johnny didn’t in the manga. Look, that happened after the 14th reveal, Bookman forbade him from getting too involved with “Allen”, because it was going to be his downfall if he involved himself that much in the war, and Lavi heeded his advice, you never see Lavi & “Allen” interacting again after the 14th reveal (though with the recent events of “Allen” going to the campbell mansion and is going to meet bookman and everything even if Lavi’s not with bookman that’s probably going to change), and that interaction was way more important than “woah bro no need to be so formal” with the mana mask revelation and Red’s actual personality and everything, and you know it’s relevant to that because it happens in the same episode, and in the manga very few chapters after.
And also the whole “the regret won’t let me die in peace” between Johnny & Kanda, instead.. happens between Marie & Kanda & Lenalee, and the anime scene absolutely sucks, the sacrifice Kanda is making doesn’t really hit you and it comes off as the dbz “past evil dude/asshole is now helping the protagonist”.
Look, he got better after the alma karma arc, and he love and trusts Lenalee & Marie a lot, but I find it kinda weird Kanda would volunteer such personal information on his feelings that easily with virtually no reason to (though I’m no Kanda expert), the interaction is just Lenalee who wasn’t involved in the Alma arc weirdly insisting on prying, after Kanda already accepted the innocence and can’t take it back anymore and Kanda pouring his heart out just like that , which, weird, because when Lenalee say “don’t you were already trapped in the order more than all of us and the order harmed you so much”, his reaction is to change the subject by successfully picking a fight with most people on the room (like Komui and Bak at least) by drinking it out of Lenalee’s hands.
It doesn’t even work as real Lenalee screentime because you can tell she was a mouthpiece to make Kanda say it before Hallow end/say it to someone other than Johnny, it wasn’t a real Kanda & Lenalee interaction
In the manga it was after Johnny and Kanda (who already bonded and came to care about each other quite a lot during their roadtrip/travelling around), who are both people who are pretty much risking everything to find and help “Allen”,  exited the pub and Johnny showed that he was a ride or die friend, reminding Kanda of Alma, likely the first time he thought of his past without feeling pain (like “Allen” comparing the orphanage director to Mana), then Johnny ask why Kanda did it, whether Kanda even answered or not, it was going to be nowhere as personal as how it ended up being, then that akuma snatched Johnny, and it very much stated “it’s Kanda yuu” at the beginning, showing that it was a speech personally aimed at Kanda, rather than a generic exorcist, saying that he was an absolute fool to come back, that he had very very little left to live, and he should’ve spent his last moments in peace, and that he chose hell, and he doesn’t go “what are you talking about ?” or deny it, showing that yeah, he does have little left to live and he most probably did choose hell.
Then Johnny goes “really Kanda... why ?” then go silent, so Johnny wasn’t going to badger him on it, then Kanda goes on to say his reasons (and yeah Johnny works better because he have more informations about the Alma thing than Lenalee had, since Kanda most likely almost never talked about it, and the scientists there were probably more informed than the exorcists after the facts and Kanda most likely didn’t tell her much, if anything really, I mean the dude can’t even stand when you say his first name just because it reminds him of that time, and Johnny did witness Kanda stab “Allen” and the whole shitshow, he’s more involved I mean).
AND THE “I was about to say sorry and then I stopped myself, thank you kanda, thank you, than..” WAS SO TOUCHING
end rant about “the manga is better !!”
And they’re not only making these moments worse, but they’re shooting themselves on the foot, because Johnny is a vital character to the “searching for Allen Walker” arc. and they keep down playing his worth as a character and his bond with “Allen”.
Johnny dropped everything for “Allen”, he loved his job as a scientist and everyone in the order, and the whole thing was risky as hell, and he did it anyway (he had no guarantee of quitting the order safely, and he wouldn’t have without Kanda, he had no guarantee of finding “Allen”, he had no guarantee the Noah or the 14th wouldn’t kill him immediately and when he first decided it he didn’t know Kanda would be around so doubly gutsy), and the love is very clearly mutual with how badly “Allen” freaked out at thinking Nea killed Johnny and that heart warming hug when he exited the wheat field and how desperately he wanted Johnny to be okay when the earl attacked and Nea took over, and you can tell it’s because Johnny mattered to him a lot instead of a general kindness thing because, really, the whole TOWN/CITY was in danger from the Millenium earl being around and homicidal, and last but certainly not least, JOHNNY’S DECLARATION OF FRIENDSHIP which really mattered to “Allen” (It was the most flustered he’s ever been in the whole manga).
And it mattered in the end ! it changed everything ! Kanda wouldn’t have found “Allen” without Johnny’s plan. and “Allen” would be literally dead, erased, not from this world anymore if it wasn’t for Johnny.
Look, unlike all the other times Nea took over, the last one was pretty bad, in fact it should have been impossible for Allen Walker to ever open his eyes again, his soul was done for, he was technically dead.
But the power of people’s bond is probably the most powerful thing in DGM verse, so powerful that it can even do the impossible, like bringing back the dead.
Cross, Tyki and Link weren’t going to do that because of their allegiances, Road can’t maintain her form, even if Mana was going to choose “Allen” over Nea, he is very much amnesic, it wouldn’t have occured to Kanda and most of the order to try that, because it was very obviously the 14th, and Kanda doesn’t even call “Allen” by his name anyway, they’d have jumped straight to trying to defeat him or try another method to bring “Allen” back, if Apocryphos could still bring him back his way, he’d have merged with “Allen” and “Allen” as we know him would be no more.
Yeah, pretty sure “Allen” would be no more, and it wasn’t a case of right place/right moment or anything, it was because Johnny and “Allen” loved each other (platonically, I shouldn’t have to precise that but here we are) and it shook reality in ways usually only the earl take advantage of.
Also you imagine the amount of mental badassness it would take to take your friend, and physically try to carry him away while he’s the target of the earl who is looking extremely deranged and is being really violent ? 
Also he prevents Kanda from using violence against “Allen” who was in pretty bad shape, and that with Tiedoll’s speech help him find the guts to face “Allen” eye to eye and a lot of what ensued after
Don’t ever underestimate Johnny’s importance to the story.
Yet here he’ll always be a barely relevant side character to the anime (well at least Hallow I refuse to watch the 2006 anime and check if his earlier moments were done justice), and for what reason ? because he’s not good-looking/hot, and because he’s not physically powerful or badass in a conventional way.
That’s.. the end to my salt I think
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So. Was thinking about the Magnus archives and Dgm and like... I gotta do it. Which character would be affiliated with which fear??
Allen is def a Stranger. He has a clown theme, he got masks, he's just a Stranger okay. Very good at faking being human but since he lived in a circus and then with his master, who is not a normal person (here it's because he's an avatar of the Desolation very touched by the Web but he's also weird in canon so...) he just didn't get that white hair isn't that normal for humans and realized it only after joining the order - and at this point he couldn't change it because people would definitely notice such a change and he doesn't wants to out himself as a Stranger cause the order is okay with avatars but he still doesn't wants to scare people (he's also very good at not being Uncannily Strange).
I don't think Kanda would be an avatar, but I do think he would be a entity's creation. Maybe a creation of the Stranger since he was someone else before being Kanda? Or the Flesh since he heals himself? Or both?? Some avatars of the Stranger and the Flesh tried to create hm invincible humans? And like. Technically it worked. But not like they expected. Also Kanda dislikes Allen at first sight because he reeks of the Stranger (which is. Normal. He IS of the Stranger, after all) and he doesn't likes Strangers because they remind him of the scientists who created him and also because they're FAKE AS FUCK and he just doesn't likes that.
Before doing Lavi I would like to explain my headcanon for the Bookman clan. It's not exactly a cult like the Lightless Flame but it's kinda affiliated to multiple entities : The Eye, because knowledge and recording history, The Desolation, because no attachments, no friends, no love, no heart, and the Stranger, because really a new persona and name for each recording that's very Stranger. Every Bookman and apprentice has to be marked by these three entities. They have means to gain some small powers from these marks (like Oliver saw the roots even before becoming an avatar) but not as much as real avatars. Becoming an avatar is really not recommended by the Clan because to record human history you have to understand humans and to understand humans you have to BE human so no to become a fear monster. Becoming an avatar of the eye is slightly more acceptable than the others cause it's about knowledge but it's still frowned upon and the Clan would watch these avatars very closely.
So Lavi is not an avatar but he's been marked by the Eye, the Desolation and the Stranger (also by the Slaughter cause of the bullet he took and really being marked by the Slaughter is kinda usual for Bookmen since they record WARS, they HAVE to be marked by the Slaughter at some point and anyway I'm pretty sure everyone in the order is marked by the Slaughter because akumas are obviously creatures of the Slaughter but later). He got some small powers from this, like from the Eye he got the capacity to remember everything he hears and see (he still had a very good memory to begin with but the Eye's marking made it REALLY good) also a sort of small compulsion that makes people more open with their secrets around him but it's really small. From the Desolation he got a bit of pyromania and a crazy flexibility, he may not be made of wax but it sure looks he is. Also he can see body temperatures with his right eye, like a infrared (?) vision? Can see people through walls, etc? From the Stranger he got a really good ability to create personas and he adapts to new names really fast. He can also know when people are lying but he's not sure which entity that comes from (I was tempted to include the Bookmen's sneakiness that we saw in like their first two chapters and nowhere else?? Come one it's super interesting?? Lavi is just super sneaky and I never see that in fanfics! Fanfics writters I am very disappointed) also like Kanda he would know that Allen is a Stranger at first sight, I mean Kanda doesn't really knows that Allen is a Stranger he just knows that he reeks of Stranger not that he is one but yes. Even without the Eye's influence the Bookmen are trained to recognize any avatar or marks, so yeah Lavi would know. He thinks it's very interesting!! Of course. He never met such a nice Stranger avatar, it's... *drum rolls*... Strange *badum tsss* omg he would make so many Stranger jokes around Allen... It has the side effect of angering Kanda even more. He's also very intrigued by Kanda since he never saw anything like him it's just all very interesting.
I don't think Lenalee would be an Avatar either, she's just... Not like that? But I see her being very touched by the Lonely since she got into the order, before her brother came, she was alone in this prison that made her fight and she was just alone. I think that without Komui's presence she would have been an avatar of the Lonely. Also she's very attached to her friends because sometimes she still feels the cold of The One Alone.
Komui and a lot of people from the Science department are either avatars from the eye or heavily touched by it. They all like to know things and discover new things and a few of them actively try to become avatars because eye powers could help them watch over the exorcists, like Knowing when they need help or Knowing exactly what kind of uniform they need. When you enter the science department you feel really watched but in a good, warm-blanket way?
So in the end only Allen, Cross, some other exorcists and some people from the Science department are avatars uh. I guess it wouldn't be good to be an avatar in the order cause you kinda feed from humans, the beings you're trying to defend against akumas? I guess you wouldn't really need to feed if you're an avatar of the Eye ; all the people in the order have a tragic story and I'm sure half of them are permanently afraid. You just absorb the fear around you, I guess? Being of The End would also not be bad, I guess? You're surrounded by death so... The Vatican would totally experiments on avatars uh. Oh thats' why it's bad to be an avatar in the order! If it's an exorcist, the Vatican can't do anything cause they're already short on exorcists, but if it's a finder ? Finder are - for the Vatican - unimportant, so you can experiment on them! Also they're just as likely to become avatars as anyone else in the order since they're very exposed to... All this horror. Maybe even more than the exorcists!
Also I see the Earl being something like the Distorsion but with multiple entities? Like uuuuh when he was human (?? Idk?? Let's say at the beginning of his existence??) he tried to do a ritual and got the right idea, he needed multiple entities to succeed but hm. It blowed up or something. Pretty sure he and the Noah are at least 30% Slaughter (with Skinn being 75% Slaughter) he would also be End (cause he bring back the dead) and Web (cause he manipulates Akuma and also people)? Maybe Desolation too... The Noah are at least clearly not of the Lonely. The Akuma are hm creatures of the Slaughter + End and when they evolve (when they're more... Clever) they become creatures of the Hunt + End? (the End part is purely because of the made from a deceased human part) at first they're Slaughter cause mindless violence but then they become Hunt because they're more clever about their violence? Not sure if you can change entities like that but akumas are also very not human so...
Orrrr the Noah could be of the Extinction, it makes sense. Urgh, the dilemna...
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yullen · 4 years
Text
amelioration in yours truly
18-19th: Amelioration   » The act of relieving ills and changing for the better
AO3
The words that he had left never told to others, he wonders how, of all people, Kanda Yuu managed to spill forth from him.
He kept persisting, kept chasing, no matter how much Allen pushed him away, and when the words started to come out, they just kept pouring out like water out of a fissure from an already fragile and cracked vase.
He supposed he just never really had the opportunity. Nobody really sat down and really took the time to ask him; he’d never had the time to explain. His entire life, he spent running forward in one long, breathless sprint, never really having a moment to rest.
So naturally, he had been shocked beyond belief that Kanda Yuu, again, of all people, found the patience to do this with him.
Why?
And how?
He had a million questions. There was no way this had been the same Kanda Yuu he knew, right?
The way he had opened himself up to listen. It took Allen a second to realize he had still been holding in his breath. Even the way the man sat at his side was unbelievably elegant, giving him a look of inquisitiveness he had never seen on the other’s face.
When had he changed like this?
What made him change?
He opened his mouth to speak.
––—∞—––
The pain in his voice was audible in the pauses between memories and in the silence left behind, but this wasn’t something Kanda wasn’t already familiar with.
Past wounds and scars. Allen’s past was riddled with uncertainties, and he had to live with the dissatisfaction of not having many answers.
Allen thought it had been a miracle that Kanda didn’t simply say “Okay, enough,” or stomp off, or act like he stopped listening. He had reacted, and he had scowled and sometimes said “Idiot,” while scoffing while they bickered very briefly, but they stayed on topic until Allen was finished.
After it all, he heard a breath of exasperation. Allen almost chuckled and laughed, just a tiny breath out his nose, as he combed his hair out of his eyes with his hand, and looked upon Kanda with a fondness he didn’t even notice he had shown.
“Shit doesn’t add up,” Kanda said.
And from there, the idiots talked it over as much as the idiots could and knew how.
But at least they knew in which direction to go from there.
Towards this mysterious manor in Allen’s memories, Kanda stepped towards, and Allen smiled and followed behind in step.
“Thank you, Kanda.”
“Don’t mention it. I mean it.”
Allen laughed.
“…Ah.” Kanda remembered.
“Hm?”
“I just… remembered what I told Tiedoll.”
––—∞—––
“I mean, it’s not really all that unbelievable,” Johnny said at the bar.
“But you were listening! He just sat there! And talked to me! Properly! He hated me, remember? I mean, I think he still really dislikes me, but…” Allen trailed off as he took another sip of his drink, milk seeping onto his tongue with the pleasant mixed bitter taste of coffee.
“You should have seen him as we were looking for you. One time when he was drunk, he had been ranting off about all the things he would do to you when he found you.” Johnny propped up his coke bottle glasses. “Oh, like how he would pin you down and make you explain yourself, or how dare you do all that for him and then be such a pain to track down. Or how…” Johnny continued to explain how Kanda would do this and that.
It was super embarrassing, and Allen couldn’t help but blush a little at the wording, as he thought ‘It’s nothing,’ and didn’t read into it.
“And then the next morning, he said, ‘How dare that beansprout give me this hangover.’”
Allen lightly slammed the counter and exclaimed with reddish cheeks, “How is that my fault!”
“My point is, I think he cares a lot,” Johnny claimed making a sign like ‘Eureka!’ with his hand.
“Since… when…” Allen asked, covering his face with one hand.
Johnny shrugged, deciding not to bring up moments in the past where he and others in the Science Department decided not to say anything.
“But I’m glad you guys had a proper talk with each other. Maybe the General said something, but after that… I feel like he had grown up a bit.” Johnny took another swig of his beer and took another bite of his burger. Swallowing, he said, the look in his eyes calmer and more serious, “Ever since he came back, he also surprised me with how much he changed! It’s like he’s walking around now free of the burden of what happened back in the East Asia branch.”
“…”
“In fact, let me tell you what he said when I asked him why he came back…”
––—∞—––
“Yuu-kun, I know you’re anxious to meet up again with the Walker boy, but he will be okay on his own,” Tiedoll consoled.
“For the last time, I’m not sad I couldn’t go with him!” Kanda yelled.
About ten metres away, Marie looked up at the shout and answered it with a silent look. Even he didn’t believe Kanda.
“I’m fucking serious!” Kanda exclaimed. Then he let out a loud breath of complaint. “I’m going to seek different answers on my own. We’ll meet up on the same path. It’s just more fucking efficient this way.”
“Mhmm.”
“Stop looking at me like that,” Kanda demanded irritably.
Tiedoll simply smiled.
“You two spoke, didn’t you?” Tiedoll asked fondly.
“So what?”
“I’m proud.”
Kanda was confused at that response.
“You two are learning how to communicate with each other instead of simply arguing, my boy. That’s a step in the right direction. You’re growing into an adult.”
Kanda let out a ‘tch—’ sound through gritted teeth. “I’m already an adult!” eventually retorted, to which Tiedoll only patted him on the shoulders as if he were still fourteen.
After all, none of them had the chance to live normal lives between all the battles and missions they were assigned. While it was true they had handled horrors beyond those of adults, it had only been natural some skills would have been more stunted than others.
Tiedoll had been unable to levy such heavy chains and burdens from the young man’s back. Such chains he had locked up on his past, Kanda stubbornly refusing to budge, reflect, or remember.
The anger tore at the edges of his mind, and hatred made his soul heavy.
The reunion with Alma…
In the end, Tiedoll was simply immensely glad Kanda was finally freed from those chains.
He was thankful to Allen Walker.
Hearing his dear disciple’s continued mutters, he grinned again as he wondered what there was here between these two boys. Much had changed, from the impression he had, and he had never seen his disciple act this way with another.
“What is it, General?” Marie had asked.
“Nothing. Just mulling over our dear Yuu-kun’s spring of youth.”
Marie had a question on his face. “Is this about Allen?”
“Ah, so it’s not just me.”
––—∞—––
Sometimes, Allen would feel Kanda’s absence. It was pronounced.
More pronounced than he anticipated.
Something was building. He wasn’t sure what. He huffed the cold into his hands, looking up at the sky.
It would be okay, they were all heading towards the same goal and direction.
It was difficult for Allen to not settle into what he had accepted would be his natural state of being alone. He feels it, consciously. He can tell himself that he isn’t, but it’s difficult making himself believe it.
He grew up in solitude for much of his childhood when he wasn’t by Mana’s side, after all. And General Cross was certainly family in a way to him, but he certainly didn’t know how to raise a child. In that respect, he can’t say Cross made him feel less lonely.
And now even Cross was gone.
But his family in the Order, Lenalee, Komui, Reever and the others in the Science Department… Miranda, Marie, all of them, would be on the other side.
Sometimes when he has time to breathe, he would worry about Lavi, too. He had no idea where he was or if he was okay, he can only pray the Bookman foresaw such a situation and they were simply secretly and safely tucked away.
He heard a step, and Link was walking up to him along with Johnny. Kanda had already revealed to Allen that Link was alive. He ignored Link with an exaggerated snub, still pissed at him for letting him think he was dead. Link sighed, but smiled as Allen looked away as he remembered how Allen had initially reacted.
Johnny tapped his shoulder with a bright smile, and a gentle warmth welled up within him with his companions at his side and his comrades connected to him by the sky.
Johnny was his constant reminder of “You’re not alone, you’re not alone.” He wouldn’t dare let Allen forget it.
To say that things were difficult were an understatement.
Allen was determined not to disappear. Even so… Even so, fear crept in his shadow. It was simply natural. Tragedy pervaded his life and he didn’t want to lose anyone else. But he never wanted to stop caring, either.
At least he was glad that Link was alive, but his worries were endless.
And he wasn’t at his side. He wasn’t sure if he felt less or more safe without Kanda. On one hand, he wouldn’t hurt Kanda. On the other, Kanda was reliable and…
‘Huh?’ Allen caught himself thinking that, shaking his had and trying to stop wanting for it, wondering why he did.
Link raised his eyebrows as he observed Walker looking into the distance again, and then shaking it off, and then doing it again later throughout the day.
––—∞—––
“Are you stupid?” Lavi asked.
Surprisingly, on their journey, Lavi had turned up out of nowhere with memories missing and he had no idea how he had turned up there. Link had been heavily suspicious to the point where even Lavi didn’t trust himself.
Allen saw Link’s point, but at the very least, at least Lavi was safe. Allen’s first instinct was to run, but he couldn’t make the same mistake again. Kanda would march right back and flay him if he did after the scolding he gave him.
(Or maybe it would be fine if he did.)
(Maybe they would let Kanda come back now.)
“What?” Allen asked indignantly.
“You explained all that, and you still can’t figure out why he changed?” Lavi asked with his arms folded behind his head.
“I mean. I can understand that I helped him back during the incident with Alma, but…” Allen said as he had his hands on his nose.
“I think you know, you just want someone to reaffirm it to you.”
“…” Allen couldn’t deny it.
“It’s because of you. There, I said it.”
Allen muttered a quiet thanks.
“Wow, I still can’t believe you’re talking about the same guy. Yuu? Really? You actually managed to pull the stick out of his ass? That is so impressive! I mean. Wow, I don’t even know where to begin. He sounds like… well.”
“Hn?”
“Well, this is going to sound ridiculous, but if it really was like as you say it was, he sounds like he likes you.”
“What???” Allen asked in utter disbelief.
“Hey, listen. Don’t shoot the messenger.” Lavi put up his hands.
Allen only sputtered. He chose to believe that what Lavi meant was what he thought was more likely. “I don’t know. I don’t know if we can become friends now.”
“You know what I mean.”
Allen opened his mouth, and then blushed. “It’s definitely not like that.”
“Uhuh. Also, you told him everything, but not the rest of us?”
“I… He just asked.”
“He influenced you too. He got you to open up,” Lavi pointed out. “Tell us later too.”
Allen nodded after a moment. “Of course.”
Lavi then chattered and then continued to ask for more gossip with the Order, and asking for more information about the others, and if anyone else would know anything about where the old man was.
––—∞—––
The sky continued to change.
As Kanda looked up above, remembers the same sky he saw back then, when he first broke through to the surface.
He wondered what Allen’s side is doing. His hands grasped the first key, and he made his way back to find him again.
Under those changing clouds from far away, the light flickered in silver eyes to and back from gold.
Kanda refused to get there too late.
He chased the unending sky.
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dgmagines · 4 years
Note
Could I just get fluff for the main 3 with a huge amount of cuddles??
Thisis,, sorta related? But here’s a cuddle imagine Min wrote three years ago ft.Kanda!!  if you wanna read that owo 
Oh!! and gentle reminder that askbox is open for another 3 days so don’t forget to send your stuff, aight? Now on with the ask!! It got lowkey long so I’m gonna put it under read more, okay? q w q
Allen
Itwas no secret that Allen got cold rather easily. It also wasn’t a surprise toanyone when they saw him clinging to someone to leech off of their body warmth-especially in the colder months. What did surprise them, however, washow needy he got whenever he wanted some warmth – especially if itinvolved a certain (h/c) who, as of this moment, was trying really hard to focuson their paperwork.
Theycould hear Allen whining their name, half asleep as he pressed his body closerto theirs in what was probably a poorly executed attempt to get them to stopwriting– oh, and also to steal some of their body warmth as well. He’d alwayscommented about how they were basically a walking furnace – a comment whichthey took as a compliment, albeit a weird one – and would always cling to themin the winter months so this was to be expected.
_______ glanced towards the pouting boy,smiling softly when he grumbled out invitations to sleep and mumbled cursestowards their report for the nth time that day. He’d been at it for the pasthour now, clinging and pawing at their arm with his blanketed hands, determinedto detract their attention from the stacks of papers whose deadline was still aweek ahead.
“Youknow you could just go to sleep first, right?”
“Andfreeze myself to death?! ______, I didn’t know you could be so mean!” Allen’soutburst caused the young (h/c) to bust out laughing, prompting him to huffat their reaction. As if to prove his point, the teen shook his hands loosefrom the thick blanket, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around his partner’sabdomen. He snuck his hands under their shirt, grinning at the surprise yelpthey let out as his frigid fingers made contact with their skin.
“Allen!Get those zombie hands off of me or I swear to god-!” The white-haired maleshook his head ferociously, pushing himself closer to them until he could feelthem tethering to the edge of their seat. He grinned, a mischievous glint inhis eyes as he rested his chin on their shoulder.
“Noway! I told you I needed to cuddle for warmth!!” Any attempt they made to tryand push him away was met with him tightening his arms around them, pressinghis cold hands to as much skin as he could before his hands warmed up. _______groaned, leaning heavily against him so that they wouldn’t fall off their seat.
“Okayokay!! Fine, I’ll cuddle! Let go of me already!” ______ finally relented andthe smile on Allen’s face felt like they were staring right into the sun. Theyflicked his forehead, a pout of their own settling on their visage as Allenwhined. They turned towards the table, Allen groaning and whining when he sawthat they were clearing their things at a really slow pace.
_______laughed.
“You’relucky I love you,”
 Kanda
Warm.
Thatwas what Kanda thought as he burrowed his face in their chest, pulling themimpossibly close as he felt himself drifting in the realm between dream andreality. He heard a low chuckle of amusement coming from his partner, hiseyebrows furrowing as the sound pulled him out of his dream.
“Whatsfunny-?” he mumbled almost incoherently, parting from their warmth just a tinybit so that he could tilt his head upwards to glare at them. A mumbled ‘goodmorning’ and their lips pressed to his forehead made Kanda huff, his eyesnarrowing in slight dissatisfaction before he assumed his previous positiononce more.
He could feel his partner running their handthrough his hair, fingers massaging his scalp ever so often. That, paired withthe soft humming of a song he didn’t recognize, was almost enough to lull himback into slumber.
Almost.
“Yuu,aren’t you going to get up anytime soon?” ______ hummed, hands pausing theiraction in favour of gently patting his head, prompting him to lift his faceonce more. Even with how unfocused his gaze was due to being sleepy, hecouldn’t miss the soft smile that was etched on their lips, warm (e/c) eyesstaring back at him.
Heblinked.
Andhe almost let out a whine at the thought of leaving his bed.
“DoI have to?” if one squinted hard enough, they could see Kanda’s lips forminginto a slight pout and ______ had to hold back the ticklish laughter thatthreatened to bubble from their throat at the sight. How and when had thegrumpy swordsman they all knew and loved turned so soft?
“Hmmwell I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” they paused, pressingtheir lips to his forehead once more before grinning cheekily at him.
“Butyou promised to check on the plants before leaving for the mission, remember?”Kanda grumbled a few choice words under his breath, brows furrowing as heremembered the promise he had sleepily made before they collapse into eachother’s arms the night before. Curse his sleepy self!!
Theswordsman was silent for a few minutes – mainly because he was trying tocalculate how much time he could afford to procrastinate on the plant checkingand reporting for the mission – before he finally responded-
-bypulling the blankets higher and pulling them closer.
“’slater. I still have some more time,”
Lavi
Itwas quiet in the Order that day, which was rare considering the amount of,,,,unique,,, personalities that lived under the roof. Lavi could hear someoneshuffling about in his room, their murmurs not quite reaching his ears as herolled over and pressed a pillow to his face.
“Pleasebe quiet,” he groaned when he heard the clatter of something falling to theground, a frantic apology reaching his ears a few moments later. The shufflingnoises continued for ten more minutes or so, all while Lavi tried to drift offinto dreamland to no avail.
Hesighed, aggravated at his own brain for keeping him awake, and reached across thebed- only to find the other side empty.
Ah..That would explain the noise then…
Thered head rubbed his eyes as he lifted himself from the confines of his bed,blanket falling from his chest to pool around his waist. A single emerald eyesquinted in the dim light of his room, the only source of light coming from alit candle a couple steps away from on the work table.
“________?”he called for his partner, wondering where the heck they were when theyshould’ve been in bed with him. Not a minute after he uttered their name, thelovable (h/c) poked their head into the room, smiling apologetically at him asthey stepped inside and closed the door behind them.
“DidI wake you?” they sat beside him on the bed, a hand coming up to pat his hairdown as if it’ll soothe his unruly bedhead. Nonetheless, Lavi leaned into thetouch, closing his eyes as their fingers ran through the strands of his hair.
“No.But I couldn’t sleep without you either,” they laughed at his barely concealedwhine, pressing their lips to his forehead before gently pushing him back inbed.
“Apologiesmy love,” even in the dim lighting, Lavi swore the small smile they wore ontheir lips was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “I was restless andcouldn’t sleep after a dream I had,”
“Whatkind of dream?” he asked, voice taking on an almost childish tone as his eyesbecame heavy once more. He could barely pick up the scent of the burning candlethey had used, the smell slowly lulling him back to sleep.
“It’snothing to concern yourself over, Lavi,” they smiled and before they had achance to move away from him, the boy grabbed hold of the sleeve of theirshirt. He looked up at them with a pout on his lips and a sleepy glare in hiseyes – which only made ______’s heart pick up pace because they thought he wassimply adorable.
“ButI wanna knoooooow,” he mumbled, whining even as he was slipping into sleep.______ smiled, gently prying his fingers off of their sleeve, blew out thecandle, and climbed into the bed next to him. He immediately turned and wrappedhis arms around them, burying his face in the crook of their neck as theylaughed from how ticklish his hair was.
“Buttell me while we’re like this… I wanna be warm,” _______ ran a hand through hishair, the redhead making himself comfortable in their embrace. With a smallsmile on their face, they parted their lips.
“Alrightthen,”
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sozotohakai · 4 years
Text
I started in the tags of the reblog but might as well do a hc post!
First thing first, I do see Allen as forgiving the whole fact both Kanda and Lenalee punched him in reply to what he said/did in the first mission he had with each. He does come to understand them, just like he understand himself. He knows his choice was not one many would make, he expects to be misunderstood, so he forgives them.
However, at the same time, it does leave a scar, so to speak. And the thing is, Kanda? It doesn’t surprise Allen. They don’t get along at first, so he isn’t surprised to see Kanda be hostile, or act on it. But Lenalee? There was no tension, he was getting along with her. He felt like they could understand each other.
And then she proves that she, in fact, does not understand him. And another key difference is that Kanda, while he does punch Allen, he actually allows Allen to try and help Lala. Kanda actually listened to him and let him do it. Lenalee didn’t. Lenale prevented him from stopping a soul from being destroyed, and when he started to express his pain, “Why did you stop me” he yells, angry, because he’s hurt, because he wanted to save the soul; she punches him and angrily tell him with tears “because we are friends.”
But the truth is, it’s very one sided. What she means is “you are my friend and I don’t want to see you hurt” yes, and he does understand that, but what she also means is “I don’t care what you wanted, what matter is what I want”. Because what Allen means when he says “why did you stop me” is “why did you stop from me doing what I live for” and she basically says she doesn’t care. She shows she doesn’t understand.
Read more because it got long
“We’re friends”, she says, but she doesn’t take the time to understand what her friend actually wishes and what he fights for. And worse, once the fight ends, Lenalee is unconscious for a bit, and when she’s finally awake? She ignores him and we can see she is angry. When he finally goes to her and starts to say how “come to think about it, we haven’t talked since that time...” Allen apologizes.
He’s the one who offers an apology, and if it stopped here, if she took it, or apologized herself, it would have been great. It would have been two friends early in their friendship who recognizes each other values. But the problem?
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The problem with how she reacts are a few: she says “why don’t you let me fight at your side” but the one moment he needed someone to understand him, she punched him instead. Even if she stopped him, she shouldn’t have, she should have said “because I didn’t want to see you hurt” and apologize herself too. Then the fact she calls him selfish, when she herself is being selfish. She calls him out on how he apparently carries the burden by himself, but she says “i hate your left eye” and her words bleed with the fact she does not understand his burden. At no point does she wonder how it is to see souls, or make the effort to wonder how horrible it was for him to see it die. She makes no effort to ask if he’s doing okay. Heck, she gives no apology, and does not give any clear indication of forgiving him. And you know, in the last three panels, that’s not a happy expression he has. It’s not. He might feel she won’t say mad, so he’s a bit happy, but he’s sad, because she proved to him she does not understand.
The different is that Kanda, in a sense, does understand. The way Kanda will oppose Allen, he shows he understands what Allen feels, and what he’s trying to do is show what Kanda believes to be too naive, etc. Lenalee, however, does not understand, and it shows, because it’s self centered how she opposes him. Kanda opposes him but it’s centered on Allen. When Lenalee does, it’s about herself.
Lenalee as her reasons for being how she is, and I don’t hate her. But for Allen, between Kanda and Lenalee, it is actually Kanda that is the best. Lenalee seeks to have him behave as she thinks he should, and tends to self center when she gets emotional (when he’s escaping, she’s asking why, she says you’ll be in trouble, and she says we’ll have to fight if you leave, and she cries and says it’s not a joking matter when he tries to remain light hearted. She doesn’t ask how he’s doing, doesn’t try to understand why he’s leaving, and again, it’s her own feelings that are placed forward. He has to comfort her. After all this time, she still didn’t change with this.
Kanda, for his part, puts Allen first. When they first have an hostile spark, it’s because Kanda feels he’s false (which is true, Allen masks himself). When he opposes him during their first mission, it’s because Allen is risking the mission for Lala, but also because he thinks it won’t work, and because he sees Allen say I want to be a destroyer who saves, and thinks Allen is just going to get hurt. But he still lets him do it, because Allen says he’ll take responsability. And right now? Kanda came back for Allen’s sake, and is doing what he can to help Allen.
It’s sad, because it’s a product of her environment, but Lenalee was allowed to centre things on herself, as after her trauma, she was taken care of by her brother, who places her first. She views people as “her world”, and it hits me how you see the self centering in the manner she says they’re her world. I don’t think she’s had anything or anyone who has opposed this tendency to centre on herself. So it’s all she knows, to make people hers, her world, and so, implicitely, wanting to control her world.
Kanda, meanwhile, he... doesn’t put himself first. I actually don’t think he’s either gotten mad about something done to him, or about his own feelings. He actually call people on their bullshit or point out their flaws, when you think about it. But even he doesn’t really calls out on Lenalee’s own flaws, and I feel it is because he recognizes she’s... not ready. Again, no one has pointed out the ways she acted, and in that sense, what can Kanda do? He knows well how she can reacts, since he has known her for a while, and I feel he knows it won’t work with her to show her what are her flaws.
The most tragic is: if she doesn’t learn to take into consideration other people’s feelings, goals, wishes, values, etc; she is at risk of actually having to fight Allen. Depending what path Allen takes, and while I can see him try to avoid fighting his friends; if she tries to self centre at the wrong time or about the wrong thing, it might cause a worse split.
For example: what if he wants to defend Earl/Mana, and she calls out about her own feelings to justify her not wishing him to defend Earl/Mana at best, being angry and wishing to attack the Earl/Mana at worst? She would place Allen where he has to choose between Mana and Lenalee, or at least show she cannot understand his love for Mana, no matter if she might think she understands. Even something like “I know you care but” would still end up placing her own feelings first. And the thing is, I don’t think Allen would take well this kind of scenario. At worst, he does not wish to hurt Mana and like I say, a rift form between him and her, he might even fight to defend Mana. At “best”, maybe he listens to her, but ultimately, it will hurt and he might resent her for this. He’ll associate her with loosing Mana, in this scenario where she talks him out of protecting him. Or, considering the way he’s self hate easily, he might not resent her personally, but he might fall back into self hate because he’ll feel terrible to not protect Mana.
So yeah, the problem with Allen and Lenalee is that it’s one sided, as Lenalee doesn’t make the effort to meet Allen halfway. They have good memories, they helped each other, fought beside each other, yet when it comes to core values, she doesn’t respect Allen’s own. Kanda and Allen, however, actually understand each other, and neither force the other to let go of their values, for all they often “clash”, they actually meet halfway.
Lenalee is best placed to protect the good people of the Order; but unless she changes, she isn’t the person who can help Allen. Kanda, however, is the best placed to help Allen. It’s also why I sincerly hope this doesn’t end up a canon Allena, because again, unless she changes, it would not be healthy. As it is, their friendship is not, in fact, healthy. It’s not bad, they are good aspects, but ultimately, it’s unhealthy, because when an issue show up, Lenalee makes it about herself, and Allen has to bow down/comfort her/aplogize, regardless of his own feelings.
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bisexual-bookman · 5 years
Text
Welcome Home, Love
Fandom: D.Gray man
Pairing: Yullen
Word Count: 5670
Tags: Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Allen being a little shit as per usual, swearing
Summary: After hearing about Kanda's terrible day at work, Allen prepares a little welcome home gift for him. Something he's sure will change Kanda's foul mood.
Part of the Let Allen Walker Wear Pretty Things series.
[Read on AO3]
"They're all fucking idiots." Kanda snarled. Allen rolled his eyes at the angry tone on the other line, forgoing his current task of seeing what was missing from their refrigerator in favour of listening to his boyfriends bitching.
"Bakanda, you say that about everyone." Allen sighed into the phone, pinching the bridge of his nose in slight annoyance. 
"Well, with these fucking idiots it's true. I tell them to check the kennels, change the animal’s water, and what do they do? Absolutely nothing." Kanda seethed. The distant sound of slamming metal rang in Allen's ears. Allen winced at the loud noise before he gave a heavy sigh, closing the refrigerator door. He had phoned Kanda to ask him to pick up some groceries on the way home, and instead Allen got an earful about the incompetent people that Kanda worked with. 
"I even talked to my boss about it," Kanda continued. Allen’s eyebrows rose in surprise at that. Kanda hardly ever needed to go to his boss with employee trouble, most of them too scared of Kanda to not listen to him.  
"All he said was that since I'm the head of the tech assistants, that I need to talk to them about it. I feel like I'm a babysitter, Sprout, I need to hold their hand through everything," Kanda finished in a disgusted tone. 
"Did you try telling them that?” Allen questioned, starting to write a list for Kanda. “Ya know, that you shouldn't need to hold their hand?"
Silence followed Allen's remark. Allen sighed heavily into the receiver, rubbing his eyes.
“Did you just get snippy and yell at them?” Allen asked, tapping his pen against the counter.
"And on top of that," Kanda started up again, ignoring what Allen had just said. Allen just rolled his eyes. Leave it to Kanda to just get mad and not actually say anything. "Some fucker did our ordering wrong, so now we have no gauze, none of the correct syringe sizes, and they ordered the wrong type of anesthesia!" Kanda ranted. 
Allen sighed, listening to the other man continue on the other line. Allen felt bad for Kanda, he really did. Kanda was good at his job, very good, it was the reason he was able to become head tech so quickly. Plus, on the very short list of things that Kanda liked, it was near the top. His co-workers though, were a different story. If there was one thing Kanda could not stand, it was useless people.
As Kanda continued to vent to Allen, a plan started to form in his mind. Kanda would most likely be in a foul mood when he got home, but Allen knew of a way to change it around...
-----------
When Allen heard Kanda's key in the lock, he raced to take up his spot, perching delicately on the armrest of the couch. He heard the sound of the door opening and the sound of the grocery bags being dropped to the floor as the other man put away his things. 
"Sprout?" Kanda called from the door.
"In here!" Allen called from the living room, one of the hallway lights flicking on at his voice.
"No! Don't! Leave the lights off, Bakanda!” Allen panicked, not wanting all the prep he did to be ruined.
"What?” Kanda asked confused, “What are you up to Sprout? Why are there so many candles?" He said turning the light back off. 
"Nothing, just come into the living room." Allen said, relaxing back on to the couch.
Kanda conceded, hesitantly walking into the room, only to stop dead in his tracks in the doorway at the sight in front of him.
Allen sat in front of him, leaning on the arm rest of the couch. Between the faint light from the setting sun peaking through the curtains, and the candle light being emitted from around the room, it seemed to make Allen's pale skin glow. He was wearing a black, mesh one piece, the long black silk bow at his collar and the long sleeves adding a bit of class to the simple lingerie. His feet were adorned in strappy black heels that clicked against the floor as Allen leaned forward slightly, a playful smile on his face. 
"Welcome home, Love." Allen whispered. 
Kanda gulped, his eyes trailing over Allen's body, his gaze lingering on the slight bulge that was visible through the see-through material. Kanda could feel heat start to coil in his stomach as he slowly walked towards Allen.
Allen stood, hips swaying in a way that made Kanda dizzy as he sauntered over to Kanda, the sound of Allen’s high heels echoing in the small living room.
Allen hooked his arms around Kanda's neck, lightly trailing his fingers over the sensitive skin at the back of his neck. A shiver ran down Kanda's spine as he rested his hands on Allen's waist to pull them closer together until their chests pressed against each other.
Allen leaned in and trailed his tongue along Kanda's lips before capturing them in a heated kiss. Kanda exhaled heavily, pulling Allen closer as their tongues slid against each other, both exploring the other’s mouth. As they pulled apart Allen nipped at Kanda's bottom lip, a low grunt leaving Kanda. Allen licked his lips, both men breathing heavily.
Allen slid his hands down Kanda's chest to rest on his hips, hooking his fingers through Kanda's belt loops and pulling him forward, leading him to the couch. Once there, Allen gave Kanda a nudge, Kanda sitting down heavily on the couch, Allen immediately settling on his lap.
"So, what'd ya think?" Allen questioned. Kanda's eyes shot up from where they were lingering on Allen's stomach, outlining the toned muscles that were just visible through the mesh material.
"I think it'd look even better on the floor," Kanda said with a teasing smirk, resting his hands on the small of Allen's back.
Allen laughed, smoothing his hands over Kanda's shoulders and chest. 
"So, you do like it. Good, I was hoping you would." Allen said, whispering it huskily into Kanda's ear. He could feel Kanda's heart beating against his chest. Allen giggled and placed a kiss to Kanda's cheek, nuzzling his neck. 
"Your ears are turning red." Allen said, lips brushing against Kanda's jawline.
"Shut up!" Kanda snapped, though it didn't have any real venom behind it. Allen just laughed lightly and leaned in to kiss Kanda again, licking Kanda's lips before his tongue delved into his mouth. Kanda trailed his hands down Allen's back to glide along his thighs before sliding down to Allen's ass, giving it a hard squeeze. Allen moaned into the kiss, biting Kanda's lip in response.
Kanda groaned, grinding into Allen as Kanda pulled him closer. Allen pulled away, gasping, before attacking Kanda's lips again, rocking his hips in to Kanda's thrusts.
Allen slid his hands up Kanda's shoulders before threading his fingers into Kanda's hair, pulling the hair tie out and throwing it over his shoulder somewhere on the floor. He tangled his fingers into Kanda's hair, lightly scratching his nails against Kanda's scalp, making a loud groan crawl up Kanda’s throat. As Kanda drew back to catch his breath, Allen leaned in and placed kisses along Kanda's neck, licking and biting along the flesh, paying special attention to all of Kanda's sensitive spots.
Kanda melted when Allen gave a particularly hard suck, laying his head against the back of the couch, small groans making their way out of his throat. Allen gave Kanda's Adam’s apple a lick, trailing the muscle along Kanda's jaw before he placed an open mouth kiss on Kanda's lips, their tongues battled for a moment before Allen pulled back gasping. Allen smiled down at Kanda, sliding his hands from Kanda's hair as he stood up from Kanda's lap and placed a quick kiss to his lips. 
"C'mon sprout, as much as I might like that outfit, I wasn't lying when I said it would look better on the floor." Kanda said, pointedly staring at Allen's crotch, who’s excitement was more than noticeable. Allen gave a giggle, brushing his fingers against his lips, smirking when he saw Kanda's gaze shoot up and follow the movement.
"All right, all right, Mr. Impatient." Allen said, resting his knee on the couch, his arms coming up to loop around Kanda's neck.
"Do you want to help me out of it?" Allen asked, looking down at Kanda through his eyelashes. Kanda let out a heavy breath as Allen brought his hand in front of him, trailing his finger along Kanda's jaw.
Kanda gently grasped the limb, his slender fingers moving to undo the few buttons at the end of the sleeve, sliding his fingers underneath the material to brush against the delicate skin of Allen's inner wrist. Allen shivered slightly, placing the hand against Kanda's chest as Kanda moved to undo the buttons on the other sleeve.
Sliding his hands up the toned chest, Kanda’s fingers lightly brushed over one of Allen’s nipples. He smirked at the light gasp that left Allen, ignoring the other man's light glare as his fingers reached the silk bow that was at the base of Allen's throat. Pinching one of the tails between his fingers, Kanda gave a light pull, watching as the bow slowly slid apart, reveling a row of buttons.
Letting the fabric fall from his grasp, Kanda reached to begin undoing the buttons, Allen's heavy gaze setting Kanda's blood pumping. Once he finished undoing the last button, Kanda slid his hands across Allen's throat, feeling his racing pulse as he slipped the fabric off his shoulders.
Kanda's hands trailed down Allen's arms, bringing the fabric with him. He watched as more and more of Allen's pale skin was revealed. Kanda slipped the fabric off Allen's arms, the material hanging loosely around his hips.
Standing, Allen placed his hands on Kanda's shoulders, pulling him closer to the edge of the couch as Kanda placed his hands on Allen's hips. Kanda's thumbs skimmed over Allen's hipbones as he slid the material off his body, letting the clothing fall to the floor. Kanda licked his lips at the view in front of him, placing his hands on Allen's thighs and tugging him forward until Allen was standing in between Kanda's legs. 
"There. Much better," Kanda said, his warm breath ghosting over Allen's bare stomach causing Allen to shiver. Allen ran his fingers through Kanda's hair, reveling in the feeling of the silken strands running through his fingers like water. Kanda leaned forward and placed a kiss to Allen's stomach, his tongue flicking out to taste the flesh below his lips, humming in pleasure at the one taste he would never tire of. Allen giggled at the contact, the feeling of Kanda’s tongue tickling his stomach. Allen trailed his hands over Kanda’s broad shoulders, taking up his spot in Kanda's lap again.
"Your turn." Allen purred, tugging at the hem of Kanda's shirt. Kanda just smirked as he lifted his hands over his head Allen wasting no time in pulling Kanda's shirt off. Allen spread his hands across Kanda's chest, fingers tracing over the elaborate tattoo etched into the skin, marveling at the flawless skin underneath his fingertips. He slowly trailed his finger tips over the expansion of bare flesh before sliding down and lightly pinching one of Kanda's nipples. Kanda inhaled sharply, barely able to catch his breath before Allen started playing with his nipples, tweaking and teasing the sensitive flesh.
Allen leaned in, giving Kanda's neck a hard bite, causing Kanda to growl into Allen's ear. Grabbing Allen's hips Kanda flipped their positions, his hair hanging around the two of them, blocking everything else out. Before Allen could get his bearings, Kanda leaned in and captured Allen's lips in a scorching kiss. Allen moaned deeply into the rough kiss, bringing his hands up to desperately grab at Kanda's shoulders, needily dragging them closer together.
Kanda trailed his hand down Allen's stomach, the light touch causing a shiver to run down Allen’s spine. Kanda lightly brushed his fingers over Allen's arousal, who bucked his hips at the light contact, wordlessly demanding to be touched. Kanda curled his fingers around Allen's arousal, pumping it at a slow, languid pace, swiping his thumb over the tip of Allen's dick. Allen whined, breaking away from the kiss, only to glare at Kanda.
"Bastard, you know I hate it when you go slow." 
Kanda just smirked, giving Allen's dick a squeeze that made Allen tremble. Kanda picked up the pace, planting kisses and licks along Allen's chest as he slowly moved downwards. Pre-cum gathered at the tip of Allen's cock, Kanda smearing it with his thumb as he laid kisses on the inside of Allen's thighs. He dragged his teeth across the pale flesh, smirking at the way Allen’s thighs started to tremble. Allen groaned at the feeling of Kanda’s mouth inching closer to his hard, leaking dick. A loud whine left him as Kanda’s mouth travelled away from Allen’s dick, his hips squirming at the cruel teasing. Allen grabbed a fist full of Kanda's hair as he melted into the couch, Kanda’s other hand coming up to fondle his balls as his mouth continued to leave red and purple marks all over his near translucent skin.
When Allen was a moaning, withering mess on the couch, Kanda decided to continue, his own aching arousal getting hard to ignore. Allen whined as Kanda retracted his hand, planting a kiss on Allen’s lips to tide him over as Kanda shifted on the couch, making to stand up.
"Where are you going, Love?" Allen asked, hooking his arm around Kanda's thigh.
"To the bedroom, to get the lube." Kanda said, slightly confused.
Allen smiled, sliding his hand over Kanda's leg, trailing his fingers over Kanda's pant line. Allen slid his hand down his own chest, giggling to himself as he watched Kanda’s hungry eyes follow the movement.
"No need to, it's already on the table."
Kanda's confused look moved to the table, his eyes glancing over the items that where sitting on the table, ignored in his earlier focus on Allen. A hard pinch to his ass caused Kanda to spin his gaze back to Allen, glaring at the smirking man lounging on the couch.
"Well, are we going to continue, or are you just going to sit there?" Allen said slyly.
Allen's smirk widened at Kanda's snort, watching the long-haired man reach for the bottle of lube on the table, a condom and small towel next to it. Allen spread his legs wider as Kanda settled back on the couch, spreading the lube over his fingers. Slipping his hand in between Allen's legs, Kanda brought his fingers to Allen's backside, slowly inserting one finger. Allen squirmed slightly at the feeling, though he relaxed quickly as he became accustomed to the feeling. Kanda soon added a second finger, scissoring and stretching Allen.
The initial pain of the second finger being added slowly faded, Allen thrusting back on to Kanda's fingers, silently urging Kanda to continue. Kanda retracted his hand, causing Allen to groan softly at the loss. Kanda quickly covered his fingers in more of the slick substance before inserting three fingers in quick succession. Allen tensed slightly as the third finger was added, his face scrunching up in slight discomfort, Kanda noticing this and quickly began moving and curling his fingers to help lessen the pain.
It worked, soon the pain had faded and Allen was moaning and gasping as Kanda fingers worked inside of him. Kanda twisted his hand and curled his fingers, if only he could find it...
All of a sudden, a cry left Allen's throat and his body tensed up, hands scratching at Kanda's shoulders. Kanda smirked at the noises leaving the man under him. There it was. Kanda began mercilessly rubbing against Allen's prostate, watching as the more he prodded it, the more Allen got lost in the pleasure, Allen quickly dissolved in to a moaning, withering mess on the couch, his cock looking red and painful as Kanda played with his prostate.
"Kanda, please," Allen managed to gasp out, his nails digging almost painfully into Kanda's skin.
"What's that you want, Sprout?" Kanda said, his voice low and husky, a rare teasing note to it. Allen groaned at the tone, his nails raking down Kanda’s arms.
"Inside me, I want-"
A particularly hard press against his prostate left Allen speechless, his mind going blank as his mouth worked, trying to tell Kanda how much he wanted the other man inside of him. Kanda smirked as he withdrew his hand, the sight of a red, panting Allen going straight to Kanda’s hard dick, the aching organ becoming too much to ignore.
Kanda placed the bottle of lube back on the surface of the table, reaching over to the foil wrapped condom. He halted in his movements as he felt Allen’s knee nudging his elbow, trying to get his attention. Allen was still laying there panting, but he swallowed and began talking, trying to get his words out in between his gasps. 
"If you...want...we don't...have to...use it" Allen managed gasp out, Kanda looking at him, confused. 
"Use what?"
Allen took a deep breath, his next sentence coming easier.
"The condom. I only grabbed it in case you wanted to use it...but I know you don’t like using them." Allen said, smile turning sly, a seductive note to it. “I know you like coming inside me more, watching the cum drip out of me,” Allen leaned up, hands sliding over Kanda’s chest, warm breath puffing across Kanda’s neck as Allen leaned in to dirtily whisper in Kanda’s ear.
“Plus, I’ve been craving the feeling of your cum in me,”
Kanda felt dizzy from how quickly the blood rushed to his cock, a loud growl leaving him as he gripped Allen’s arms, roughly pinning him down to the couch as he hungrily attacked Allen’s lips.
Allen tried to lift his arms, wanting to feel Kanda’s skin beneath his palms, but Kanda held him down, not letting Allen move an inch. Kanda pulled back, gasping as he put his full weight on Allen, who squirmed and gasped at the feeling of their erections roughly pressing against each other. Kanda leaned forward, his lips brushing against Allen’s red, swollen lips as he spoke.
"All right Sprout, whatever you say."
Kanda pushed off of Allen, quickly standing to undo his pants. Allen watched as Kanda slid his pants off, grinning as he watched Kanda’s leaking erection pop out. Kanda kicked them off, adding them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor.
“You know, it’s kinda hot that you go commando.” Allen said, eyes not leaving Kanda’s crotch, even as the other man sat back down on the couch. “Knowing that there’s nothing underneath your pants, that if I reached in, I’d be touching you.”
“What the fuck, Sprout?” Kanda said, slightly embarrassed as he gave Allen a hard swat on his leg. Allen just laughed, wrapping his legs around Kanda’s waist, pulling him in closer.
Kanda grumbled under his breath as he moved back in between Allen’s legs. Heat shot right to Kanda's groin as he took in Allen's dishevelled appearance; his neck was littered with red marks, his hair a mess, the short strands splayed all around him and his pale skin was flushed a delicious red. Kanda licked his lips, dark eyes trailing over Allen’s body as he grabbed Allen's hips, lining himself up before thrusting in.
Allen clutched at Kanda's shoulders, a loud moan escaping him at the feeling of being stretched. Kanda stopped when he was fully inserted, waiting for Allen to get accustomed to the feeling.
Allen sat there for a few moments, just breathing, threading his hands through Kanda’s hair. When he got accustomed to the feeling, he gave his hips a wiggle, signaling for Kanda to start moving. Kanda groaned at the feeling of Allen grinding on his aching cock, starting to thrust in and out of Allen at a fast pace. Allen moaned at the quick pace, hooking his legs around Kanda's hips and using the leverage to pull Kanda closer. A low moan rumbled in Kanda’s chest as he reached down and grabbed Allen's ass, squeezing the supple flesh hard enough to leave bruises, using the hold to thrust harder in to Allen.
Allen moaned loudly at the painful grip, whining at the rough thrusts that rocked his body. Allen's back arched up to brush against Kanda's chest, gasping at the warmth that passed along his skin. One of Allen's hands tightened in Kanda's hair, giving it a light tug, his other hand clawing up and down Kanda's back, leaving bright red lines in its wake. Kanda groaned at the onslaught, thrusting harder into Allen, their pace quickening.
Allen managed to gasp out "harder," and "faster," between moans, his pleased sounds becoming louder and louder as Kanda rocked into him, the couch shaking due to the rough thrusts. 
A particularly hard thrust caused Allen's body to tighten around Kanda, the tip of Allen's heel digging into Kanda's thigh. Kanda hissed quietly into Allen’s ear at the light stab, arching his back slightly, his breathing becoming heavier.
Through his hazy, pleasure-filled mind, Allen noticed Kanda's reaction. The gears started turning in Allen’s mind as he jabbed the tip into Kanda's thigh again, listening for Kanda’s reaction.
Kanda groaned low in his throat, a light shiver running through his body as he felt the sharp heel dig into his thigh. Allen hid his face in Kanda’s neck, an evil smirk blooming on his face at the reaction. This time Allen used both of his heels, pushing harder into Kanda’s muscled thighs, watching as the man bit his lip to keep his sounds from leaking out.
Allen hummed in annoyance at the sight, a light sound of disapproval leaving him as he gave Kanda's hair a pull. A low sound came from Kanda, the man biting his lip so hard that Allen was afraid he might start bleeding.
"Yu," Allen said in the breathy, seductive voice that he knew drove Kanda crazy, watching the man falter slightly at the sound of his name. 
"You know I don't like it when you don't let me hear your voice," Allen said a light strain entering his voice. He gave Kanda an open-mouthed kiss, trying to force the sounds out of the other man, Kanda faltering slightly in his thrusts at the possessive kiss.  
Allen pulled back with a lewd sound, his lips curling into a coy smile as he looked up at Kanda’s flush, pleasure filled face.
"Say my name."
Kanda exhaled heavily, burying his face into Allen's shoulder as he gave Allen’s ass a hard squeeze, trying to distract Allen. It partially worked, Allen shuddered at the tight grip, a light whimper leaving him. Allen quickly tried to take back his control, giving a particularly hard scratch to Kanda's back, grinning to himself as he felt Kanda shiver.
"Say it, Yu." 
Kanda shook his head, refusing to relent to Allen’s commanding tone. A hard thrust to his prostate sent Allen groaning, his thoughts temporarily halted. Allen frowned as Kanda tried to distract him. Grabbing a fist full of Kanda's hair, he gave it a hard pull as revenge, dragging Kanda's face upwards and out of the crook of his neck.
"Say. It. Now." Allen said, punctuating his words by giving Kanda's hair a tug.
Allen watched as Kanda’s jaw worked, his refusal to make a single sound clear. With Kanda’s eyes squeezed shut he didn’t see Allen lean forward, biting at Kanda’s lips as he continued to pull at Kanda’s hair.
"Allen," Kanda moaned, finally caving as he breathed heavily through his mouth. Allen shivered at the rare sound of his name passing those lips, kissing along Kanda’s jaw in thanks.
Noticing Kanda's hands on his ass begin to shake, as well as his breathing becoming laboured. Allen smiled to himself, knowing this meant that Kanda was nearing his end.
Allen dragged his hand up Kanda’s back, relishing in the loud groan that left the other man. Wanting to watch the usually reserved man crumble under his hands, he twirled Kanda's hair around his fingers, tugging it hard enough to pull his head back, watching the coil of muscles work in his neck as his head was twisted to the side.
A moan left Kanda at the harsh action, his body beginning to shake. At the same time, Allen dug his heels into Kanda’s legs, leaving small indents in the soft flesh. A cracked moan left Kanda at the harsh treatment. He was panting heavily and starting to lose his rhythm. Allen attacked Kanda’s neck, biting down hard, grinning as he heard the soft whimper leave Kanda. Allen trailed his lips up to Kanda's ear, knowing what to do next to push him off the edge. 
"Cum for me, Yu." Allen whispered huskily into the other man’s ear, moaning out his name. That sent Kanda over the edge, hard, Allen groaning as he felt Kanda's seed pump into him. Allen watched, biting his lip as he watched as his lover’s body shake, a loud groan leaving the other man as the last of his orgasm left his body.
Kanda lay above Allen, panting, barely able to keep from crushing Allen under his weight. Allen watched him for a few moments, petting Kanda’s hair, and smoothing his hands lovingly over his back and shoulders.
Allen grunted as his neglected arousal became too much to ignore, wiggling his hips against Kanda’s cock that was still buried inside of him.
Kanda shivered at the feeling of his sensitive dick being stimulated, beginning to pull out, his mind set on giving Allen a blowjob that would make him scream. Allen’s legs clamped around Kanda's waist as he started to move, preventing him from moving away. Kanda looked at Allen confused, still panting lightly, his face still flushed. 
"Ah, ah, before you pull out." Allen said, flipping their position. Kanda laid on his back, staring up at a smug Allen as he straddled him, Kanda's cock still buried deep in his backside. 
"You're going to help me cum." Allen finished, rising up on his legs until just the tip of Kanda's dick was still inside, before slamming back down. Allen moaned loudly, Kanda's dick going in deeper than before with the new position.
Kanda groaned at the feeling of Allen moving on top of him, his hands coming up to grip Allen's thighs. Allen placed his hands on Kanda's stomach, using the leverage to set a fast pace. Kanda dipped his head back, the crown of his head brushing against the couch, his teeth clenching at the feeling of his sensitive dick still inside of Allen.
Allen picked up the pace, thrusting harder and faster on top of Kanda, his legs starting to quake from the exertion, barely able to keep up with the pace he set.
Allen could feel his orgasm looming, his insides clenching and twisting with each thrust. Allen moaned picking up the pace, but it wasn't enough, he needed more. Kanda's face pinched in discomfort as Allen continued to fuck himself on top of Kanda. Kanda slid his hands up to Allen’s ass, a plan forming in his mind to get back at Allen.
A shocked cry left Allen as Kanda’s hand smacked against his ass, the sound echoing throughout the room. Kanda smirked at the reaction, hitting the pale flesh again, Allen’s nails scratching against Kanda’s stomach.
“You bastard!” Allen cried, as Kanda grabbed his ass, continuing to smack the slowly reddening skin. Allen trailed a hand down to his leaking arousal, moaning at the contact as he wrapped his fingers around himself, jerking himself off to the same pace he was thrusting at on top of Kanda.
Under the continuous onslaught of Kanda’s hands on his ass, and Allen’s fingers wrapped around his member, Allen began to lose his rhythm, his legs feeling like jelly as he sat on the brink of his looming orgasm. A couple more stokes and hard thrusts sent Allen over the edge, his head thrown back as a loud moan came from him.
"Yu," Allen moaned the other man’s name as he came all over his hand and Kanda's stomach, his hand still stroking himself trying to milk out the last of his orgasm. 
Allen collapsed on top of Kanda, panting, body still shivering and shaking from his intense orgasm. He lay there for a moment, face buried in Kanda’s sweaty chest as he tried to catch his breath. Pulling himself off of Kanda, Allen groaning at the feeling of Kanda’s cum sliding down his thighs as Kanda grunted in relief. 
"You complete asshole."
Allen burst out laughing at the crude statement, burying his face into Kanda's chest as he shook with laughter. 
"Maybe if you hadn’t cum so quickly, I wouldn't have to finish my self off, hmm?" Allen snarkily replied, reaching out to twirl a lock of Kanda's hair between his fingers. Kanda snorted, his hands resting on Allen's back, the calloused fingers tracing aimless patterns over the pale skin. 
"Says the one who made me." Kanda grumbled, an annoyed tone slipping into his voice.
Allen laughed at Kanda's weak glare, choosing to lean in to give him a kiss instead of replying. Their lips moved against each other slowly, savouring the sweet kiss. Allen pulled back first, humming against Kanda's lips. 
"Well I found out something new tonight." Allen said in between kisses. Kanda hummed in acknowledgment, one of his hands coming up to brush through Allen’s hair.
"You really, really like my shoes." Allen said, a cat-like smile slipping onto his face. He could feel Kanda tense up below him, looking up and snorting at Kanda’s badly faked confused expression.
"I don't know what you mean." Kanda said stiffly, avoiding Allen's gaze and looking off to the side.
"What, you thought I didn't notice?" Allen said, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Maybe I'll start wearing them more often." He said, swinging his legs back and forth. Kanda said nothing, still glaring at some distant spot on the far wall. 
"Your ears are turning red." Allen said smugly.
"Shut up." Kanda snapped. Allen laughed, laying a kiss to Kanda's jaw. Kanda just sighed, knowing that heading down that road would lead to further embarrassment for him.
Grunting slightly, Kanda reached for the towel on the table, using it to clean the cum that had slid down Allen’s thighs. Allen hummed in appreciation, happy noises leaving him at the feeling of Kanda’s rough hands running over his thighs. Allen nuzzled Kanda's neck as he worked, laying soft kisses along the skin near him.
Once Kanda was done, he sat up, gently nudging Allen off of him. Digging through the pile of clothes on the floor for his pants, Kanda pulled them on once he found them. Allen sighed happily before he stood, a satisfied groan leaving him as he stretched. Kanda watched as he gathered their clothes, admiring the sight of the muscles moving under the pale skin. Allen's hands flopped back down to his side, smiling at Kanda, as he moved to grab Kanda's hand and gave it a light tug, forcing the other man to stand.
"C'mon Bakanda, lets go clean up. Afterwards we can cuddle and order something to eat." Allen said in an excited voice, Kanda just rolling his eyes at the predictable statement.
"Uhm, by the way Bakanda…" Allen questioned, his voice sounding nervous. Kanda raised an eyebrow at the sudden change, but made a noise that he was listening regardless. Allen’s hand slid up Kanda's arm, fingers lightly tracing the scratch marks embedded in the skin, as his eyes avoided Kanda’s gaze. As the silence continued, it became obvious that Allen was hesitant to ask what was on his mind. Kanda rolled his eyes lightly as he realized that Allen would need a little push to say what he needed to say.
"What." Kanda grunted, not knowing how else to get Allen to say what he wanted. 
Allen rolled his eyes slightly, but didn't say anything about the brisk tone. Biting his lip, Allen took a deep breath, his words coming out in a rush.
"Are you in a better mood?"
Kanda's eyebrows furrowed slightly, a confused look coming over his face. Allen sighed lightly, realizing he’d have to explain himself. He brought a hand up to trail through Kanda's hair, his eyes shooting up to meet Kanda’s gaze shyly. 
"When you were on the phone with me earlier, you sounded so upset, so I wanted to do something for you when you got home.” Allen said, his tone shy as his cheeks flushed under Kanda's intense stare.  
“Ya know, so you wouldn't be in a bad mood, and end up having a bad night because of it.”
Realization dawned on Kanda's face, his expression softening as a small smile graced his lips. He leaned in and kissed Allen's forehead, Allen looking up with a confused smile on his face.
"Yes, I am in a better mood. Thank you." Kanda said softly, running his hands through Allen's hair, pulling the other man closer.
Allen gave him a blinding smile, closing his eyes and giggling in happiness as he leaned into the soft touch.
"You're very welcome." Allen chirped happily, leaning up slightly to place a chaste kiss on Kanda's lips. Their lips lingered, neither wanting to pull apart, both wanting to stay in each others presence. A loud rumbling noise broke them apart, Kanda snorting in amusement when he realized that the noise was coming from Allen’s stomach. Allen flushed in embarrassment, a light chuckle leaving him.
"Now let's hurry and shower, I'm hungry." 
Kanda huffed out a laugh, shaking his head to himself as he watched Allen happily skip away to their bathroom.
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jeidafei · 5 years
Text
D.Gray-Man Vol.26: Komui’s Lounge (Extended) 3/5
>> Part 1 <<
>> Part 2 <<
Question 13: How is the cover image for the tankobon (comic book) and Jump SQ. RISE (the magazine) decided?
Lavi: The author has full liberty for the comic book’s cover, but in the magazine’s case, the exclusive designer will ask the author to draw it according to their image of the cover.
Allen: You know so much, Lavi. I’d expect no less from the author’s bosom friend!
Lavi: Are you dissing me, Allen-san?
Marie: So the designer is the one who decides the character and their pose?
Lavi: Yep. I heard sometimes they even request color tones as well. Because the cover is the face of the whole magazine, Hoshino’s nervous when drawing the magazine’s covers, unlike the comic book’s.
Link: On a side note, on the cover of this latest Volume 26, General Cross is holding a toothpick in his mouth.
Allen: Do we have to go into such detail?
Link: I thought there might be those who are wondering.
Lavi: That’s because back in Volume 14, she drew General Cross holding a cigarette and got scolded.
Bak: What’s wrong with that? Couldn’t she draw whatever she wants to?
Lavi: Well, after all, this is still a shounen manga 
(T/N: comic written for teenage boys).
Wisely: Grown-up issues, indeed.
Question 14: Link, between English and French tea, which do you prefer?
Link: We’ve received a number of beverage-related questions. For example, How many sugar cubes does the Millennium Earl consume during teatime? and Exactly how delicious is Lenalee Lee’s coffee? As for my preference, I’d probably say English tea. Inspector Lvellie prefers French tea, though, so I’ve had a great deal of that as well. The Earl prefers English, doesn’t he?
Wisely: Correct you are. The Earl has an awfully sweet tooth. He puts in 20 sugar cubes and lots of milk for a cup of tea. He’s such a dear. He’s moping lately after Desires told him to cut back on his sugar intake. What a dear.
Allen: I wonder why he would consider that adorable.
Lavi: There’s more sugar than tea in your tea, too, right Allen?
Allen: SUPER SWEET TEA WITH SALTY THINGS IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!!!
Lavi: Do you really have to yell it?
Link: Make sure you brush your teeth well, Walker. You’re always sleeping right after your meals.
Allen: Roger roger roger.
Link: Only once is enough!
(T/N: In Japan, saying “yes” (hai) more than once is considered rude, as it shows annoyance. I get that a lot from my coworkers.)
Marie: You had tea parties with Lenalee and Miranda sometimes, right Allen?
Bak: WHAT!? Walker! You!
Allen: Eh? Wait! It’s just because they said they’ll give me sweets. There’s no ulterior motive on my part! Besides, it’s more like Link and Lenalee’s tea discussion with me tagging along than a tea party, actually.
Link: What are you talking about? I was the one accompanying you!
Allen: Well, aren’t you the one who did the most talking?
Link: That’s because you were busy eating the whole time, isn’t it? Lenalee Lee seems to make a hobby out of serving the Science Division coffee and tea, so we simply exchanged ideas on tea leaves and brewing. She’s more of an expert than even me on tea, after all.
Marie: Looks like she’s been studying up for the Science guys’ sake. She learned coffee brewing straight from Head Chef Jeryy himself too, and her coffee’s simply awesome.  
Lavi: Plus, you also get to behold that adorable face as she hands you your cup with a smile, and it enhances the experience. Hey, Allen, Lenalee’s been taking really good care of her hands, ya know? Said she wanna serve us tea with beautiful hands. Ah, she really is a lady...
Allen: I’m getting all choked up right now.
Bak: Lenalee-san...you’re wonderful. (in love♡)
Question 15: Does Lavi wash his face with his eyepatch on? Or wash his face in secret?
Allen: He leaves it on.
Lavi: I TAKE IT OFF! OF COURSE I TAKE IT OFF! But yeah, I do wash my face in secret!
Allen: You always leave it on when we use the Order’s communal bath together, don’t you? Why do you have to be so secretive about it? Stop being so stuck-up and let us see it already!
Lavi: Argh! Stop, Allen! Stop yanking! Aaaaaargh! 
Marie: Oi, Allen! Lavi told you to stop, didn’t he?
Link: Walker, stop wasting our precious paper bullying Bookman Jr.
Wisely: There, there. It’s fine, isn’t it? Our readers will get stressed out if we keep it all stiff and heavy. Besides, the boy hasn’t seen Bookman Jr. in ages and he’s just thrilled.
Allen: That’s not it! 
Bak: That aside, why do you need to hide it? Is there some secret behind it?
Lavi: Well, about that...I really can’t say anything.
Question 16: Since when did Supervisor Komui and Head Chef Jeryy become close friends?
Marie: When...? They already seem close by the time Head Chef Jeryy transferred to Headquarters, though. 
Bak: That’s because Komui was the one who recommended Jeryy for the transfer. Jeryy was a cook in the Asian Branch at first, and he went to all sorts of trouble taking care of Komui back when he just joined the Order. Komui was a completely different person back then, you see. He had this slightly dangerous streak about him, so Jeryy probably couldn’t find it in him to just leave him be.
Komui seemed prejudiced against Jeryy for a while there, but then he might’ve lost the battle of wills, and before I knew it, they’ve already become close. After that, when Komui was promoted to Supervisor, Jeryy was the first he called over to Headquarters. It might’ve been to help Lenalee-san who was mentally ill back then, I reckon.
Link: I don’t mind them being close, but calling each other by the likes of “Komie-sweetie” and “Jerry-deary” in the vicinity of Order members is quite out of line in my opinion.
Wisely: That Jeryy-summat lad’s food seems real delicious to me. I’d love to try some.
Allen: Negative. Jeryy-san is mine.
Lavi: He’s not yours...
Question 17: Are Noah Memories comprised of only original memories of the past? Though the Noah Memories are passed on from person to person, can we conclude that the human memories of previous Noah hosts are not passed on to the next Noah host as well? 
Lavi: Now this is an interesting question.
Wisely: Hmmm. Yes, the memories are passed on. When we are awakened as Noah, an enormous amount of memories and data would come rushing into our heads, and among them are also the memories and emotions of those who were previous reincarnations of Noah.
Allen: I had the memories of Suman, who became a Fallen One, flow into my head once. Back then, I felt like I’m going to lose my very self. My head felt like it was breaking apart, and I was really scared. Though you’re all Noah anyway, you guys really are something, living carefree even with memories and feelings of countless other people within you. 
Wisely: We’re not carefree, boy. In the past there were also Noah whose selves were devoured by the memories and were destroyed. In order to keep that from happening, usually most Noah unconsciously suppress those memories. By doing so, we can shut out the memories of the previous incarnations. However, if Noahs are injured by Innocence, they might not be able to suppress it anymore, and those memories would come flooding back. We Noah also have it tough as well. 
Allen: Now that you mention it, the Noah really do seem to become more violent the more we attack them.
Wisely: The profound hatred towards Innocence within the memories is what makes us so. That’s why we’d like you to be gentle with us ♡.
Allen: That tendency to joke about is just what drives me up the wall.
Lavi: Is it true that even among Noahs, the Millennium Earl is the only one who lives for several thousands of years?
Wisely: Correct.
Bak: Do all humans have the possibility of awakening as a Noah?
Wisely: They do.
Marie: And that awakening cannot be prevented?
Wisely: No. Furthermore, once they learn of Noah’s mission, they would accept it with their own free will.
Link: And what is Noah’s mission?
Wisely: Oh dear. That’s a secret~♫
Link: Tch.
Question 18: Looks like Allen’s hobby is saving up money. Was he doing other part-time jobs apart from helping out at the cafeteria as well?
Lavi: Nah, mostly it was just the cafeteria right? ‘Coz you got to sneak some bites.
Allen: It was the best part-time job on earth. At the Order, looks like it’s just the stint at the cafeteria and helping out the Science Division. Actually I’d wanted to earn a bit more, but what with rewriting reports, studying and trainingーeven on holidays I’m still quite busy. 
Link: What’s with that disgruntled look? Fulfilling your duties as an Exorcist is just natural. Besides, you’re being paid to be one anyway, aren’t you? 
Allen: But that’s totally not enough at all!
Wisely: Can’t be helped, with that much debt on your tab.
Bak: Such hardship at such a young age, Walker. Unimaginable to me, though, well-bred as I am.
Allen: If your heart pains for me, then please donate. (whips out donation box).
Marie: “At the Order”, you said. You mean you’ve worked elsewhere before?
Allen: Back when I was still training, I worked with Master as guards for caravans. Functions as battle training, too. It was a rough job, but the pay really was wonderful. To top that, we also got free meals, and debt collectors didn’t pursue us into deserts, too. 
Lavi: You really seem to be able to survive anywhere, huh.
Link: Caravans...? So that’s how you’ve been mingling in and lying low. No wonder we hadn’t been able to track down General Cross.
Question 19: What became of Kanda’s underpants that Lavi hid back in the Weekend Schedule? 
(T/N: From Gray Log. Argh dammit haven’t got round to translating Lavi’s)
Marie: Oi! Lavi! You really are such a pain!
Lavi: Ack! Sorry! But Yu’s always so calm and cool, you see. Makes me wanna see him freaking out for once.
Bak: You must really have balls to try that out.
Link: So uncivilized... (T/N: I feel like I’m quoting Obi-Wan a lot...)
Allen: So? Did Kanda freak out?
Wisely: You seem to be enjoying this, boy.
Lavi: Naaaaah~Actually, he just got dressed like nothing happened then went out to the forest for night practice.
Allen: ーwith NO UNDERPANTS ON!?
Marie: Well, it’s not totally unexpected...or rather...Kanda probably won’t get worked up over such things?
Wisely: I see...It’s the same with Tikky too. Is it just that gorgeous men do not need underpants to be gorgeous men?
Allen: I have completely no idea what you’re talking about here.
Lavi: To top that, looks like Yu just slept in the forest like that with no underpants on, too. It really wasn’t worth the trouble hiding his pants. Ah, bummer.
Marie: It's not just ah bummer, is it!? Give Kanda back his pants!
Lavi: Whaaaaat!? Even if I did return it to him, the way things are Yu wouldn’t remember it anyway. He’d probably just say something like “Huh? What’s this about?” then just stalk off! And I’d be left looking like a dork who bombed a pant-stealing prank! It’s embarrassing!
Marie: You got it backwards. What’s embarrassing here is the fact that you hid someone’s underpants, good grief (weary face).
Allen: Marie, you have to be more seriously angry, otherwise you’ll never get through to Lavi. Gotta look more strict.
Lavi: Youーyou traitor! You were all grins back there when you heard how I hid Yu’s pants, weren’t you, Allen!?
Allen: Was I? Of course not. Unlike you, I’m not a little kid.
Lavi: Ha! You’re one to talk! Whenever you do part-time at the cafeteria, you’re always stealing bites out of Yu’s food before you serve it to him. Think I didn’t know!?
Allen: That’s because Kanda’s always mocking my hospitality skills. Befitting punishment, I say! It’s not like you’re any better, Lavi. I know you’re always stuffing Kanda’s bag full of porn whenever he goes on a mission. And then there’s the time you tampered with Kanda’s toothpasteー
Lavi: You were with me that time, weren’t you!?
Bak: There’s more?
Wisely: A-ho-ho-ho (laughing). Somehow I feel like we can be good friends, boys.
Marie: Would you guys stop it already? Look, I’m grateful that you boys care about Kanda, since you guys are around the same age, but tone down the pranks! He’s still not used to these things. 
Allen, Lavi: Aw, come on~!
Link: We shall not let our precious word count be depleted further by such a nonsensical topic. This conversation ends here!!
>> Part 4 <<
351 notes · View notes
starbudspresents · 5 years
Text
DGM 231 - Panthaleia’s Translation Notes
Hello, dear friends and fellow fans! We return to the rubble of Tumblr you with DGM 231, the first chapter of this new year. Thanks for sticking with us!
Please see below the cut for my translation notes and reactions, as per usual. If you have any questions, do feel free to come say hi on Discord at Panthaleia#9705. :3
The Novel I'm Not Writing About DGM & Buddhism
Oooooookay, first things first! The four bubbles across Allen's collar on the cover page say 生々流転 seiseiruten. When spelled 生生流転 (homophonous), it simply means "ever-changing," but when spelled the way it is here (fantastic catch, thank you so much @togaochi​ ♥), it's defined as "all things being in flux through the endless circle of birth, death, and rebirth; the circle of transmigration​."
That concept is much more succinctly described by the Sanskrit term saṃsāra. Now, to preclude confusion: yes, if you look up "samsara" in a Japanese dictionary, you'll get 輪廻 rin'ne rather than this. That said, this term is if anything more specific and descriptive than that one. See also 生死輪廻 seishirin'ne, which has the exact same definition as seiseiruten; think "cell" vs. “cellular phone” vs "mobile telephone." All words for the same thing, with varying degrees of descriptiveness. 
The concept of samsara shows up in several religions (notably Buddhism, Hindu, and Jainism). The one most relevant to DGM by far is Buddhism, and this is far from the first time I've run into it in search of answers.
Crash course on some Buddhist jargon for those of you who aren't familiar:
The word samsara, meaning "continuous flow," describes the beginningless and potentially endless cycle of life and existence, through birth and living and death to re-birth and so on. It could also easily be pictured as a helix, if you'd prefer, and that could in fact make some of DGM a little easier to understand.
(If I may take a moment to get super self-indulgent here: a very related philosophical concept is panta rhei, "everything flows", which is what my "panthaleia" handle is mostly based on. This chapter very nearly literally has my name written on it. IT'S A SIGN. Of.... something. Not sure what, exactly, but IT'S A SIGN.)
Every living thing is trapped within this cycle by its attachments and its ignorance of the truth, which causes great suffering and generates karma, which then affects the shape of one's next life. (Yes, Alma's second name is that for a reason.)
There are a number of branching denominations of Buddhism, much as there are of Christianity, and while they mostly share certain core tenets such as the Eightfold Path, they vary widely in ideals and practice. The influences I see on DGM mostly come from a Japanese variant called Shingon ("True Words") and its predecessors: Shingon is a descendant of Tibetan Vajrayana, which is in turn sometimes considered to be part of the broader East Asian Mahayana umbrella.  
I've talked a little bit about Shingon before, because all the chanted spells used throughout the series follow the pattern of Shingon mantras and Kanda's tattoo is written in Siddhaṃ (theorized to be the predecessor of both modern kana systems, by the way).
Shingon shares its overarching goal with its predecessors: rather than seeking to break the cycle just for one's own self and achieve individual escape from suffering (as in Theravada, for example), one should seek to become an enlightened being — a bodhisattva — and willingly continue to subject oneself to the cycle in order to help those who are struggling and thereby bring the whole world closer to moksha ("liberation") and subsequent/synonymous nirvana one step at a time.
Obviously, reincarnation and transmigration play a massive role in DGM. Let me list just a few of the ways in which this particular concept is a running theme throughout the story:
The Noah fragments being reincarnated into new bodies without also reincarnating the human souls they previously coexisted with;
The Earl's victims having their souls transmigrated in the bodies of their loved ones to rebirth them as Akuma;
The Third Exorcists, also transmigrated into new bodies to bring them back (Helix magic in general, really, including the Atuuda);
Nea's transmigration into Allen (not a rebirth, but an avoidance of death while waiting for a chance at rebirth), as well as Allen's regression to childhood via de-aging and memory loss;
The original Earl (Adam in my theories, fyi, in case I reference that later) deliberately rebirthing himself in smaller pieces for goals as yet unknown;
The Bookmen keeping records of each iteration of the repeating narrative, ever-changing but eternal themselves;
Even fukkin Komlin, lmao, constantly destroyed and improved and remade.
So many others? Soooo many others.
The eureka moment (for me): this chapter is subtitled "Curtain Rise," as in the beginning of a stage play when the curtain goes up. If you'll think all the way back to the very first chapters of the series, you may remember that the Earl's Scenario is meant to bring about curtain fall... on humanity.
Looking at that in the context of samsara, that whole thing suddenly looks very different. Our heroes assumed that the Earl's victory would result in the destruction of the world, the destruction of humanity, but I've never bought that idea from the very start. When the curtains finally close on samsara, the cycle of death and rebirth, humanity will not be "dead" in the tragic sense, but free. Nirvana =/= death. Nirvana is the peace of being one with all, knowing all, loving and being loved by all without the need for suffering. It isn't "heaven" in the Christian sense, but it is an end to suffering, without also being an end to existence.
Tragedy and suffering are the consequences of remaining bound to the cycle. Directly using the energy of them in order to break the cycle creating them, as the Earl claims to be doing with the Akuma, is a very very Vajrayana idea, and fits seamlessly into my existing suppositions as to what the Earl is doing and why. Here, have a relevant quote:
Negative mental factors such as desire, hatred, greed, pride are not rejected as in non-Tantric Buddhism, but are used as part of the path. As noted by French Indologist Madeleine Biardeau, tantric doctrine is "an attempt to place kama, desire, in every meaning of the word, in the service of liberation."
 And another, from the Hevajra tantra:
Those things by which evil men are bound, others turn into means and gain thereby release from the bonds of existence. By passion the world is bound, by passion too it is released.
One more, same source:
One knowing the nature of poison may dispel poison with poison.
Bluntly put, I think the (original) Earl was an enlightened soul — a bodhisattva — who voluntarily returned to the cycle via deliberate rebirth into multiple ignorant beings in order to help heal the struggling world of its suffering via bringing about enlightenment viiiaaaa SUFFERING HARDER. Good Plan™?
Here are a few more related meta posts from a few years ago, just so I can find them again when I inevitably decide to delve deeper into this:
Helix magic will be the key to the plot
It's all happened before
Destroyer of Time
2.) I'm so delighted to see Mana as he was when Allen knew him before, genteel and whimsical and delighted with Allen's existence. It's easy to understand why Allen would become so attached to him.
3.) Raws for the "Therefore I write many of them, as if God can see me doing so. / As if He might find me" lines: こうして神さまに見えるように沢山書くんです / 見つけてもらえるように  These don’t sit well with me, so I’ll probably change them in the future. The gist is that he’s drawing them in order to draw God’s attention to him.
Raws for "Here I am": 私はここにいる。@togaochi and I concur that he uses watashi here instead of his own preferred boku because he's teaching it to Allen, and means it as a more general "I."
Anyway: hooooo boy, here's some more evidence for the Two Gods theory. And how!
It seems pretty safe to assume he's not calling out to the Order's God, since that god would pretty happily wipe him off the face of the earth. The Noah have called that god "false," though, and expressed their intent and desire to kill it, while still referring to a "God" entity of their own whom they regard as being on their side (or perhaps, they're on its side).
Mana calling out to the Noah god to come find him, without remembering why he wants that, is very interesting. I wonder if and how anyone answered him.
4.) I have a strong hunch that Mana's "secret alphabet" is also related to Siddhaṃ, but that language is written in such a complex way that it's actually impossible for me to be sure without just... learning it. Which! To be clear! I fucking well might. WATCH ME.
5.) This entire scene is so much to me. How furious they both are that the other won't just let themselves be saved/protected. Allen wanted to leave Kanda behind so he and the others would be safe from everything that's hunting him. Kanda wants Allen to stay put so they can save him from what he can't fight alone. All that rage and frustration, because they care.
Quick note: in the first draft we initially posted on Imgur via our Discord server, I had the subject wrong for one of Kanda's lines here, which I caught and fixed. Sorry for any confusion that may have caused!
5.5) ETA: Forgot to mention that I’m fairly sure the beautiful Grecian-style temple they’re hanging out in is referenced from St. Bernard’s Well, again in Edinburgh. Excuse me, “Edinston.”
Thanks to an enterprising anon, we have a much better match for that structure: the Dugald Stewart Monument! 
6.) "maybe I'll go sucker-hunting" CARD SHARK ALLEN LIIIIIVES, where's Tyki when you need him (to lose his shirt again)
7.) fjkldjlkagd the turnaround where Allen finally cracks and is like "fine!! you want in?? IN YOU GET. no take-backsies! happy now???" and Kanda's like "yep, here I am" and neither of them have ANY IDEA how to deal with ANY OF IT. Kanda struggling to pull Allen's story out of him without throwing up his hands and quitting. Allen baffled and twice as guarded as before, put off by Kanda's uncharacteristic interest.
So beautiful, it brings a tear to my eye. (Actually, many tears. So... so many tears.)
8.) That apology, which I never thought I'd get, for Allen having seen what Kanda would never have consented to show him. It wasn't his fault, and they both know that, but the fact still remains that it was a violation, and I've always always wished for that to be addressed somehow and HERE IT IS. RIGHT HERE.
I want to tattoo that look on Kanda's face onto my brain.
9.) And then they're FUCKING INTERRUPTED, AGAIN
But Allen's "ask me again when we're done dealing with this" was such a promise of trust that I can't even be that mad, augh.
Onward to the bitter end, I guess!! Haha!!!! · ͜͜  · - 
Thank you all so much for reading and following along! I’d like to tip my hat to Kougeki Scans, who love this series too and are helping us spoil the fandom rotten. :P  Again, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to either find us on Discord HERE, find me on Discord at Panthaleia#9705, or use the comment box on MangaDex! I’m always happy to geek out with fellow fans. <3
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icharchivist · 5 years
Note
part 1- Erm, so I decided to read on your meta and I think your stance is that it's CC is being incredibly lenient and weird for not making Allen a Fallen? (I fully agree on that CC is weird but not sure about why Allen should become a fallen). The only cases of Fallen that we know (that I remember) is Suman going full Fallen and making a mess, and Kanda being warned by his innocence. We all know that Suman was loved by Lenalee and Johnny and all and everyone was incredibly shocked at what
part 2- happened and dude just wanted to live and never asked to be an exorcist. But if you just look at it from his innocence POV dude defected to the Noah side for his life, literally revealed all informations he could get on his comrades to Tykki, and what he did caused the death of 142 finders and 6 exorcists including a General who had a buch of unbonded innocences with him (The innocence wouldn't know the exact numbers but yeah Suman's action really betrayed the innocence and the order)
part 3- and I can understand why his innocence flipped out on him. Kanda's case is him deserting the order after getting back his innocence and not making Akuma/noah his priority (but he's wearing his uniform and kill Akuma he find in his way, when he stopped wearing the uniform he was with Allen and his eye so still detecting akuma) so his innocence is probably being wary and letting it be , but he also fully intend to kill Allen and his innocence is like "plz chill don't kill the
part4- "don't kill the heart accomodator's boyfriend we like him he's the only one who LIKE doing his job" and just being warning with Kanda. Allen on the other hand has no intention of cooperating with the Noah/selling out an exorcist, is fighting with all his might against the Noah and still enthusiast about saving Akuma (as Road remarked, if an Akuma die by getting nuked by the innocence their soul get saved but other method like autodestruction, other akuma and 3rd exorcist destroy theirpart 5- destroy their soul) and while the order does a lot of stuff Innocence agree with (fighting Akuma/noah, try to find accomodators for innocence and protect innocence from the noah), disobeying the order isn't betraying the innocence/god. so Allen quitting the order after his circumstances probably shouldn't make him a fallen (he even told Lenalee that he'd always be an exorcist). So I kinda understand why CC wouldn't make Allen a fallen one (the most he's doing against god is refusing
part 6 final - refusing to fuse with the Apocryphos so that's my opinion on the matter ? I think ?
Oh hey!! :3c
ah yeah i mean I agree on your arguments there, by all account Allen’s actions wouldn’t make him a fallen. Like you said, his intentions and the way he wants to use the innocence fall far more to what the innocence actually wants after all, and Suman and Kanda’s situation were really particular and already more a case of how their own bounds with their innocences were to start with. 
The question about why CC isn’t even thinking about making Allen a fallen being “weird” to me isn’t much his current situation with the Order or with Apo for all that matters, but the fact Nea is getting more and more powerful, and as we’ve seen in a later chapter, that Nea actually attempted to use CC. 
Imo this is what is weird mostly is that Allen’s situation had become more and more unstable since the two innocences stabs and each Nea’s ressurgences had been harder to recover from. Hell first time Nea straight up tried to kill Johnny and the second time i guess we were just lucky he was attempting to get through with the Noah. 
If Nea can use CC just by virtue of being in Allen’s body, it boils down as pretty dangerous for the innocence imo. You’d expect an innocence, like say Suman’s could have been, to immediatly turns on someone that MIGHT be a threat and use the innocence power to work on the Noah.
I agree with the full reasoning, don’t get me wrong, but imo this is something worth at least wondering about: CC trusts Allen enough to let him not be a fallen despite the fact Nea can use CC, and/or CC would be okay with Nea using its power. 
By all account a self preserving innocence wouldn’t let itself fall in the hands of any Noah - even one whom we know would work against the Noah (and i mean with latest “i want to be the Earl instead of the Earl”, while there is likely more to Nea (and perhaps it’s something CC knows) this doesn’t boil specifically as pro-humanity/pro-akuma either). And as long as it’s unsure whenever Allen is able to take back control, this is a very serious concern the innocence could be having. 
So like i agree with your reasoning and imo i think CC would rather preserve Allen - as you mentioned, there is also the fact the boy is the only one who likes doing his job, the probably only one who respects the innocence to some level, who had at least attempted to connect with it ect... along with ofc, wanting to have faith in him to overcome Nea and let it fly because CC would believe Allen can fight it off.
But imo this is worth at least raising an eyebrow of why this faith is there to start with and how far it is willing to go if Nea was about to be able to use CC. It raises questions about how far CC’s faith in Allen goes, and/or how much it is willing to trust Nea. 
And that’s what would strike me as weird as for why Allen hadn’t fallen yet, not because his acions don’t align with the innocence anymore, but as of how CC can risk the cohabitation with Nea considering it becomes tougher in tougher to overcome it as it goes and that letting it be would allow the innocence to fall in a Noah’s hand.
I... don’t remember at all my previous reasoning though (i honestly mostly come up with my meta on the spot and this one was.. months ago i forgot all my arguments) but yeah, like i said, agreeing strongly with your argument there, it’s just the Nea-being-in-control’s factor for me that just bring it to be particularly fishy, if that makes sense?
Take care :3c
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kitty-bandit · 5 years
Note
I love hearing about you delinquent au! Can’t wait to read it
How about a sneak peek, Anon? (ノ^ヮ^)ノ*:・゚✧
Lavi shoved his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. The late September days were still warm, but nights turned surprising cold. He wished he’d brought his favorite scarf as he stood next to the raffle table. Excited shouting came from the packed bleachers, and he looked up just in time to see a few players celebrating in the endzone. He sighed, sitting next to Lenalee in one of the empty folding chairs behind the table. “I should’ve listened to Yuu. This is kinda boring.”
“That’s why I bribed you with food.” Lenalee smiled and greeted another group who stopped at the table. After taking their money and handing them tickets, she turned back to Lavi. “It’s been almost two hours and I am ready to leave.”
“Where is your partner, anyway?” Lavi asked, peeking into the bucket with the ticket stubs.
“Please do not call him that,” Lenalee said, rubbing her temple under the dark purple knit hat she had worn for the night. Her hair was plaited into two pigtail that hung over each shoulder. “He went to get another roll of tickets from the supply closet. We’re almost out.”
With a chuckle, Lavi leaned back in the chair, the metal scraping against the cement sidewalk underfoot. The table was set up near the entrance, close to the ticket booth—specifically placed so no one could miss it as they entered the field. “What is the raffle even for?”
“I thought you could read?” Lenalee teased, pointing the the sign on the table. “We’re giving away a mini fridge. One of the student’s parents donated it.”  As another group of students passed the table, Lenalee smiled and waved.
Lavi’s good eye widened in surprise. “That’s actually not an awful prize.” He leaned forward peering at the sign. “Maybe I should buy a ticket…”
“Five bucks gets you one ticket, twenty gets you five,” Lenalee recited, as she had been all night.
Lavi winced at the prices. “Too rich for my blood.”
“Suit yourself.”
“Speaking of rich, I could go for some of that overpriced food you promised me.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Lenalee, grinning wide.
“And here I was hoping you’d forget.” She shook her head before something caught her eye. “You’re in luck. Link’s back.”
Lavi looked up and spotted the Lenalee’s number two, as it were. The vice president of the student council looked more the part than Lenalee did, and that was an accomplishment. Link’s blond hair was plaited tight and neat, the long braid swinging as he strode towards the table. He looked completely out of place in his dress shirt and sweater combo, especially as he passed another group of students decked out in sweatshirts and jeans. His khakis looked stiffer than his personality.
“This is the last of the tickets,” Link announced, setting the bright red roll to the side. He looked at Lavi, who had stolen his seat, disapproval in his russet eyes.
“That’s fine—there’s barely an hour left in the game and sales have slowed a bit.” Lenalee stood, straightening out her light coat and grabbing her purse from under her chair. “I’m going to take a break. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
“Fine,” Link replied, taking back his seat as soon as Lavi had vacated it. “Don’t linger. The table really should have two people working it at all times.”
Lena smiled as she bit back a comment. “Of course.” She grabbed Lavi by the elbow and dragged him off towards the bleachers. As soon as they were out of earshot, she sighed, the noise sounding more angry than any breath had the right to be. “He sure has some nerve saying that after he left me there for nearly thirty minutes.”
Lavi didn’t fight her pull, stumbling along next to her as they headed up the steps. “He should really see a doctor about that stick lodged up his ass.”
She managed a quick laugh, her fake smile turning into a genuine one. “If only it wasn’t permanently stuck.” She spotted Kanda and Alma at the top of the bleachers huddled close to each other. When Alma spotted them, they waved, grinning widely.
“You managed to escape!” they said, making room for Lavi and Lenalee on the bench.
“I told Link I would be gone for ten minutes, but I’ll stretch that to thirty.” Lena wrapped her arm around Alma as she sat down, sitting as close as she could to keep warm. “Lavi and I are going to the concession stand. Did you two want anything?”
“Yes. I want to leave,” Kanda grumbled, tucking his chin into the folds of his jacket.
Alma rolled their eyes. “Don’t listen to him. We’re having fun.” They rested their head against Kanda’s shoulder, pink painted lips stretching wide over their face. “Something warm would be nice. It’s colder than I thought it would be tonight.”
“I think we can manage that.” She nudged Lavi, elbowing him in the side. “Ready to get some sub-par, overpriced food?”
“Always.”
They walked back down the metal bleachers, avoiding the crowded walkway and headed to the nearby concession stand. As they stood in line, Lavi checked the menu tacked on the wall next to the small order window and balked at the prices. “Yeesh. Are you sure you can buy stuff for everyone? This is more expensive than I thought.”
She pulled her wallet from her purse and held it up as if she was brandishing a sword. “Komui gave me his credit card for tonight, so we’re living large on chili cheese fries and king sized nachos.”
Lavi grinned, rubbing his hands together as he studied the menu board again. “Now that’s what I like to hear.”
When they reached the order window, Lenalee listed off their choices—hotdogs, chili cheese fries, nachos, and a hot chocolate for each of them. By the time their order was ready, they had their arms full as they precariously balanced each item. Lavi winced as he juggled four hot chocolates in his hands.
“This is the definition of hubris, isn’t it?” he asked, carefully following Lenalee back up the bleachers. Every step was a challenge to keep the chocolate in the too-thin paper cups and off his fingers.
“Don’t talk. You’ll lose your concentration and spill,” Lenalee replied, carefully balancing all of the food in her hands. Her stacking technique was impressive, and Lavi would have congratulated her if he didn’t have to worry about spilling hot cocoa all over himself.
When Alma noticed their burdened states, they hurried down to help with the final leg of the journey. “Ah, careful!” they said, taking two of the cups from Lavi’s hands before heading back up the stairs.
“Why did we pick the highest seats on the bleachers again?” Lavi asked, setting the last two cups on the bench to help Lena distribute the food.
“Because Yuu doesn’t like people sitting behind him,” Alma reminded them, grabbing one of the hotdogs and settling in next to Kanda again.
“So, it’s my fault?” Kanda asked, frowning as he grabbed his hot chocolate from Lenalee and sipped it angrily.
“Hush and eat your nachos,” Lenalee said, pushing the flimsy paper container into his hands. Once the food had been distributed, she sat down, only to sigh again. “I forgot napkins.”
“I’ll get them,” Lavi said, setting his food down on the cool bench and heading down the bleacher stairs. He heard Lenalee’s faint call of ‘thank you’ mixed in with a sudden cheer from the crowd. He looked up at the field again, having missed whatever play had happened to cause the ruckus. He hopped down off the last couple of steps and turned to walk towards the concession stand when something under the bleachers caught his eye.
Just under the bleachers was Allen, reaching into the back pocket of someone’s pants. Lavi watched as Allen slipped their wallet out with ease, pocketing the cash inside, and then returning it as if nothing had happened. He did it again and again, systematically grabbing any wallet or purse within reach and cleaning the money from the billfolds. Lavi stared in awe, watching Allen’s swift, nimble fingers steal hundreds of dollars in cash from the unsuspecting parents watching the football game. That same feeling bubbled up in Lavi’s stomach—the one he’d felt when he’d witnessed Allen pinching those candy bars from the convenience store weeks ago. Nervousness mixed with admiration, and a healthy dose of concern. Lavi had never stolen anything in his life, but watching Allen do it almost felt as if he was an accomplice—too dumbstruck to say anything or try to stop the crime in progress.
As Allen pocketed the last of the cash, he looked up and met Lavi’s frozen gaze. He stiffened for a brief moment before that same smug smile pulled at the corners of his lips. Lavi felt his heart rattle against his chest, cheeks flushed against the cold breeze blowing against them. He didn’t know what to do, and as much as he wanted to run away and forget what he’d seen, his feet were glued to ground, like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming semi.
Then, before Lavi could move or say anything, Allen approached him.
Lavi swallowed, throat tight as he watched Allen close the distance between them. He was wearing that same oversized sweatshirt Lavi had first seen him in, and a black knit stocking cap to hide his shock white hair. Lavi didn’t doubt he’d come to the game for this exact reason—to steal from the crowd. And from what Lavi had seen, it was easy pickings.
Allen stopped just in front of Lavi, looking up at the redhead with a calm smile. He reached up and pressed a finger to Lavi’s lips, his skin cold and chapped from the wind. “This is our little secret, right?”
“I, uh—” Lavi began, lips moving against Allen’s finger. With his stomach tied in knots, Lavi nodded, his heart flipping in his chest and nearly jumping right out of his mouth. “Sure.”
Allen pulled his finger back, his smile softening. He tilted his head, looking Lavi up and down, as if he was assessing something—though the redhead wasn’t sure what. “You’re Lavi, right?”
“Y-Yeah.”
“Thanks.” He winked, brushing past Lavi and merging into a large group of students heading towards the exit. “See you later.”
As Allen disappeared into the crowd, Lavi’s heart continued to beat like a drum in his ribcage. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.
What the fuck was that about?
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burrrning--soul · 5 years
Video
youtube
I hear a lot of complaints about Hallow. Yes the animation is different. Yes the voice actors/actresses are different. Yes it’s a tad bit more gory, and dark. That’s because SO many years passed since D.Gray-man originally came out. Obviously things are going to change in what, 8-9 years? Not only that, but Hoshino’s art style has changed dramatically, and in a good way. The newer chapters are breathtakingly beautiful, so why would they downgrade the animation by making them look the exact same... when they no longer look like that?
No anime out there is perfect. They have their moments where the characters look like potatoes, and that’s just how things are. Nothing you say is going to change that. It is something you just need to accept, because honestly we should just be grateful that we even got a new season period! I truly believed that D.Gray-man was going to be cancelled forever, so even though there were moments in the anime that could have been animated better, I will not complain. I’m GRATEFUL for getting another season; but more importantly, getting my absolute favorite arc animated.
The Alma Karma arc.
This part in the manga seriously messed me up, and I cried like a baby every single time I read it. It is actually the reason why I went back and read through the whole manga in the first place. Sure the characters don’t look so great in the beginning, but Hoshino has improved beyond one-hundred percent since she first released D.Gray-man. Doesn’t every artist improve the more they practice? You just have to look past them and pay attention to the plot.
D.Gray-man is a darker series, and I think that is why a lot of people turn their noses down at it. Unfortunately these people are missing out majorly. The character developments are superb, and so is the plot. Allen’s and Kanda’s pasts are so tragic, that I just want to reach through the screen and give them both a huge hug.
I remember how shocked I was when reading through the Alma Karma arc. Kanda’s body is artificial, and is known as a “second exorcist”?! He was actually killed a long time ago by an akuma, and had a beautiful woman as his lover, in which she was killed too? They were then brought back to life in separate bodies, hers being placed in a boy’s body: Alma’s. It goes to show that love isn’t defined by gender, but by your SOUL. They were literal soulmates, and it makes my heart ache every time I see those two.
Alma and Kanda lived the beginning of their lives not knowing of their real bodies, and that they were once lovers. They just knew that they were experiments, and referred to each other as friends. Although when Alma found his real body, he decided to kill both himself and Kanda in order to end their suffering-- to prevent the Order from using them over and over again. Well not understanding this, Kanda chose to live. He wanted to search for his lover’s soul, and so that is why he destroyed Alma.
The boy who actually had his lover’s soul trapped inside his body.
It’s even more sad when Alma finds out who Kanda really is, when Wisely sends both him and Allen back to his childhood. He finds out that Kanda is his lover in their previous lives, and doesn’t know how he will react upon finding this out, so he tries to avoid telling him. He also wanted Kanda to continue searching for his soul, since it gave him a purpose.
Aaaand that is when their fight breaks out. They’re trying to kill each other for different reasons. Alma just wants them both to die, so that they won’t be used anymore; whereas Kanda wants to kill Alma because he became a fricken akuma! Sure the anime didn’t make me feel as emotional as the manga did, but it definitely made me cry! And I had to hold those tears in when watching through it again with my brother. That was really hard to do, especially when Alma is dying in Kanda’s arms, and he sees both him and the woman he loved in his past life right before him.
And they both say: “Yuu, I love you.”
THAT WRECKED ME FOREVER, ESPECIALLY SINCE KANDA TEARED UP WHEN PIECING IT ALL TOGETHER.
Kanda would have stayed with Alma, despite being a guy in his new life. He would have. I just know it. It’s sad that Alma felt the need to keep it all from him. IF THEY HAD JUST TALKED ABOUT IT, BUT NOOO. NOW ALMA IS FRICKEN DEAD, AND KANDA ALMOST DIED. BUT HE CAME BACK FOR ALLEN’S SAKE.
Even though Kanda and Alma are soulmates, I still love him with Allen. They have a strong, interesting bond. You can even see in the newer chapters that he just does not want to leave his side, no matter what. That is why he clung to him when going through the ark. Ah, I can’t with this series. It’s so amazing!
And when Johnny managed to bring Allen back when the fourteenth Noah, Nea took over his body... OMG SO PRECIOUS. THEY ARE ALL SO PRECIOUS, AND I WANT TO PROTECT THEM ALL, AAAH.
Other scenes I love in D.Gray-man are:
-Lenalee’s hair getting burned off.
-Allen returning when everyone thought he was dead.
-Cross Marian coming back to fuck with Allen.
-Cross being a pervert and hitting on Lenalee.
-Bak Chan being a stalker towards Lenalee, and breaking out into hives at the mere mention of her name.
-TYKI RIPPING A HOLE THROUGH ALLEN’S HEART
-Tyki’s strange obsession with Allen.
-Road’s love towards Allen, despite them being a Noah and an Exorcist.
-MANA AND NEA. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.
-LAVI BEING A PRECIOUS DORK
-Anita’s death, like holy shit. I cried when Lenalee freaked out!
-The Lala arc.
-WHEN TUP TOP DIEDDDD
-When Allen lost his arm, and regained a brand new one that is super powerful and more awesome looking!
-Tyki and Allen fights.
-Krory being a precious vampire cinnamon roll <3
-When DAISYA FUCKING BARRY WAS KILLED BY TYKI
-LENALEE GETTING HER INNOCENCE BACK
-Lavi crying over Allen’s “death”, even though he’s not supposed to be making any friends because he’s a Bookman ;A;
-Kanda and Allen fights. They’re all gold, trust me lmao.
-Finding out that the Earl is FUCKING MANA
-Timothy Hearst being the cutest fucking boy alive.
-Kanda coming back to the Order when everyone thought he died along with Alma ;~;
-ALLEN’S GOODBYE WHEN HE LEAVES THE ORDER WITH THE NOAH
-Whever Nea, the fourteenth Noah takes over Allen’s body e///e
-Link’s strange obsession with Nea.
-The third exorcists! ajsdlkfjasa (traitors)
-When Kanda “died” the first time.
-When Road fucked with Lavi’s mind, and caused him to fight against Allen... BUT ALLEN REFUSED TO HURT HIS FRIEND.
-TIMCANPY BEING KILLED
-Cross Marian also being killed.
-ALLEN CRYING OVER LOSING TIMCANPY
I honestly just wish more people got into D.Gray-man. It messes with your emotions, and becomes so incredibly beautiful the further you get into it. Now excuse me while I sink further into the videos, and cause myself more heartache by them.
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