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#i usually spend the week stressing about appeasement gifts
hoekami · 3 years
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Im usually in my feelings for parent days but you what?
Happy Mother’s Day to myself! In the spirit of my Ancestors and Yemonja, I’m going to take today and celebrate the ways I have parented myself and have been motherly to others🥰
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miyosamu · 4 years
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Kuroo & Oikawa thinking their boyfriend’s gonna break up with them
Kuroo Tetsurou
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ok
ok ok
kuroo is a mature fully capable intelligent adult, he can handle this
he can handle this in a totally mature way too without needing to blow it out of proportion or get too caught up in his own head
no he can’t
that’s a lie
he’s panicking
he doesn’t know what to do
you haven’t been talking to him much
and whenever you did it was just yes or no responses
you don’t treat him like you used too 
you weren’t giving him any sort of attention as of late
AND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG
did he do something?
did he say something?
did he forget an important date?
he has no clue
he went through your past conversations before This Change happened and he couldn’t find a single thing that would prompt this kind of behaviour from you
and thus, he landed on the only possible explanation
you were bored with him
you changed your mind about him
and you were building this distance between you in order to send him hints and get him used to being without you so you could let him down ””easy””
fuck
"KENMAAAAAA I’M ABOUT TO BE BOYFRIEND-LESS AND THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT HELP MEE” 
“just talk to him kuroo” 
“and what??? speed up the process of him breaking up with me?? nO” 
kuroo’s decided to deal with this the one way he knows how
he’ll just have to sweep you off your feet
again
so that’s how operation “Make Y/N Fall For Me: Pt.2″ was born
needless to say, kenma and yaku thought he was being absolutely ridiculous 
bokuto thought it was genius though 
“i always knew there was a reason i liked you bokuto”
so for the following week, kuroo has been nothing but EXTRA flirtatious and loving
he brought you small gifts that he thought you’d like
he was extra touchy and cuddly 
he kissed you more frequently and held you close to him longer than usual
when you first noticed his increased attentiveness you thought it was strange and your first reaction was “what did you do?” because you assumed he was trying to appease you so you wouldn't be mad at him for breaking your laptop or something of the sort 
but he insisted it was nothing like that so you let it slide
near the end of the week, kuroo had asked you on a friday date night!
at first, you had refused because “kuroo you had matches every day of this week you should rest over the weekend”
but for some reason he couldn’t pinpoint, your refusal to go out on a date with him, combined with your odd behaviour from before made him panic 
so he grabbed your hand and damn near begged you to go out with him
“come on y/n, please. i want to do this i wouldn't have asked if i was too tired or something yeah? i want to spend time together”
you caught on to the underlying sense of desperation for him, which concerned you greatly.
so of course, you agreed and thankfully he relaxed immediately after
during your date, kuroo would be as charming as ever   
maybe even try a little too hard but it was kind of adorable.
as nice and flattering as it all was, it did nothing but further your suspicion that something was definitely amiss 
so on your way back home from your date, you decided to confront him about it 
kuroo, knowing he couldn’t lie to you and get away with it, told you everything
you were really caught off guard by what he told you
but also?? super super delighted that kuroo had gone above and beyond to make you wanna stay with him
even though you never really planned on leaving in the first place
it was very sweet
it just made you fall for him even more
him going to such lengths just showed how much he cared for you and how much he loved you 
you were deeply touched 
you, of course, told him all that
and also ensured him that you never planned on leaving 
things were getting too stressful, you needed some space so you subconsciously started pulling away from people 
you hadn’t meant to worry him
kuroo was SO SO RELIEVED 
it was like a dreadful weight just lifted off his shoulders 
he laughed at the whole situation honestly, wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around before kissing you lovingly on the lips out of joy
and also just to solidify his intentions of not letting go of you anytime soon
or hopefully never
Oikawa Tooru
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he deals with it like most every other issue he deals with
denial
just
denial through and through
nope
no way
not happening 
not possible 
everyboDY SHUT UP 
god 
G O D  HE WAS SO STRESSED 
and he would not be able to hide it for shit 
when oikawa is nervous it shows
he just has these little mannerisms than give it away 
now iwaizumi was the first to notice he’s been tense so he asked
and oikawa just unleashed 
he whined and whined about you possibly breaking up with him but then he’d turn around and deny it in the same breath 
he’s trying to convince himself this isn’t happening 
“i mean there’s no way y/n-chan would leave me right??”
“it doesn’t make sense i don’t think i gave him a reason to suddenly dislike me !!!”
“we were fine until recently !!”
“more than fine even!!!”
“i mean sure i’m often preoccupied with volleyball practice and that sometimes limits the time we can spend together  and yeah ok maybe he would want someone who can offer more of their time to him and take him on nice dates every weekend like he deserves and maybe he just wants someone who’s more stable and doesn’t have a career that requires them to travel a lot and maybe he wants to be with someone who can make him feel like their relationship is steady and balanced and not always on the verge of being a long distanced one most time  but that doesn’t mean he wants to break up right??!?”
he’ll just dig himself this hole and not get out of it 
now
in reality 
you could be just a little under the weather
just feeling drained & low on energy because Life Makes You Like That Sometimes 
but Oikawa had convinced himself you’re starting to see how flimsy your relationship can be due to his choice of career and are now reconsidering being with him 
Iwaizumi, being The Voice of Reason™, had told him that that’s a load of bullshit
you had known what you were getting yourself into when you got into a relationship with oikawa, but had done it regardless
“so stop being a dumbass and just go explain to him what you’re upset over so he can tell you you’re wrong and i can gloat about how i’m always right”
and oikawa had wanted to do just that
really he did
but anytime he saw you now his stomach flipped nervously and he gets all clammy
he knows he should talk to you about it but [Anxiety]
oikawa has a lot of self-doubts no matter how hard he tries to act like he doesn’t
so the thought of upsetting you due to him lacking as a boyfriend didn’t help him
and as much as he tried to tell himself he’ll talk to you about it he’ll talk to you about it
as a defense mechanism, his self-doubts and anxiety subconsciously had him pulling away from you 
you can’t pull away from him if he pulls away first right?
by the time that you got back on your own two feet you had wanted to talk to oikawa and apologize to him for being distant lately 
but he wasn’t giving you the chance 
he wasn’t outright ignoring you but he was definitely avoiding you 
you deduced that he was upset at you for being so distant lately and the guilt swallowed you whole 
it was just an ugly mental battle within yourselves that convinced you the other has had enough of you
so neither of you was talking to the other now, or even attempting to which just made things woRSE and it was just     no
iwaizumi, god bless his soul, decided it was time for a major intervention beCAUSE HE CAN’T STAND SEEING YOU TWO BEING SULKY LITTLE SHITS AND NOT COMMUNICATING BECAUSE YOU BOTH DECIDED FOR YOURSELVES THAT THE OTHER WAS BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU 
he forcefully sat you both down and had you talk it out 
you literally owe him everything because he single-handedly saved you guys’ relationship
after removing all the misunderstandings between you two and after a whole lot of Physical Affection to make up for lost time 
you and oikawa were back on track with your relationship
you both have to work on communicating your doubts 
but hey 
baby steps
also, iwaizumi got to gloat
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sommer-girl · 3 years
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Hello Father (Again) | Self Para
Anna tries again.
Date: 6/22-6/23
TW: More tough family dynamics stuff
(Three missed calls)
(Six missed calls)
Anna
Anna, please answer your phone.
(Eight missed calls)
You are proving me correct that you are not mature enough to handle university on your own. Please call me back so we can talk about this.
(...Typing...Typing...)
Anna. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I just want to talk.
Anna glanced at Poppy, heart racing, eyes still puffy from crying. And slowly, she typed out a message.
Hi Dad. I’m sorry I disappeared. I needed some time to process on my own. If you want to talk, let’s meet in person. I know some good coffee shops around here. I want to explain my side of the story.
Poppy made Anna another cup of tea and they sat there in silence until Anna’s phone lit up again.
Okay. Where do you want to meet?
...
Anna suggested Hatter’s because it was usually louder and more crowded than Blue Oven. She didn’t want anyone overhearing this conversation, and she imagined all the chaos of Hatter’s would drown out whatever her father might say. Anna was prepared for a lot of things. Based on what Anna assumed had happened between Dad and Elsa, she was prepared to be cut off financially, to have to pay her tuition all on her own, to deal with any number of threats related to the one thing Anna didn’t have: an income of her own.
But after talking to Poppy, she now knew a few things. Dad couldn’t withdraw Anna from Pride U without Anna’s permission. He could stop paying her tuition, but Anna could take out loans if she needed to. She could apply for work/study. Poppy would have her back. That was important, because Anna was willing to concede a lot of things, but she was not willing to leave Pride U. She would do just about anything she could to avoid that fate. 
Anna sat down with her iced mocha and fiddled with the straw nervously until Dad showed up. He looked tired. Anna felt a creeping feeling of guilt.
“Anna. I’ve been worried sick,” he said in Norwegian. The lines around his eyes crinkled in concern.
“...I’m sorry, Dad,” Anna whispered into her coffee, relieved at least that they were speaking a language that most people in Swynlake didn’t understand. That was a little more private. She looked up. “It was just... a lot of information at once.”
He sighed. “Well, you can imagine it was for me, too. To find out my daughters had been keeping the fact that they were spending time together from me-- you can imagine how that might feel like a betrayal. Not to mention the fact that you decided to skip town with no warning. And I know there’s more you haven’t been telling me. Just the other week you dropped the bomb that you were changing your area of study and planning to stay here for the summer and then hung up, and now--”
It was too much. Anna was already getting overwhelmed. And she couldn’t keep it in any longer.
“What about me?!” Anna interjected, maybe a little louder than she planned to. “I’ve been lied to my whole life! About what’s really going on in Arendelle, about what really happened with Elsa, about what happened to Mom and what that has to do with me, about everything! Of course I needed--” Anna realized that people were staring at her. She lowered her voice. “Sorry. I’m not trying to start an argument.”
“Well, I’m your father--”
“That doesn’t give you an excuse to lie to me!”
“Anna, would you let me finish speaking?” he said sharply.
“Sorry.”
Anna looked away and took another sip of her coffee.
Dad sighed. “I am your father, and there are certain things I had to protect you from. Our family has been through a lot. I didn’t want you to have to grow up so quickly. I recognize now that I can’t protect you forever, and there comes a point in your life when you are ready for this sort of thing. And... yes, there comes a point in your life when you are old enough to make your own decisions.”
That... wasn’t what Anna had expected him to say. She felt a small spark of hope. “...Does that mean I can stay at Pride U?”
“Anna...” 
“Dad, I can’t leave. I have friends here, and summer classes are starting soon, and...” 
Anna came so close to mentioning Devyn. It was how she meant to end the sentence, because she knew if she transferred schools she might never see them again. And that thought was terrifying. When Anna was up late, stressed about class and her life and this all-consuming project, when she missed Arendelle, when she was frustrated with all the secrecy and lies and Elsa’s strange distance at times, no place felt safer than Devyn’s room. In Devyn’s arms. To be torn away from all of that...
It wasn’t that Anna was worried about what her father would think. She was fiercely proud of Devyn, everything about them, especially their magic and the way they lived with a gift that most people saw as a curse. But Anna still felt... protective. What if she mentioned Devyn, and her dad wanted to meet them, and reacted badly to the magic thing?
So Anna swallowed that thought down. Not yet. Instead, she just looked at her father pleadingly. “Please, Dad. I’ll visit all the time. I’ll stay out of trouble. But I really, really love this place.”
He softened. “I can see that,” Dad agreed, his shoulders dropping. “I just worry... I don’t know how much you heard of my talk with your sister, but we have a... complicated relationship. It’s really between the two of us, and I don’t want you getting confused by hearing things out of context. And... there’s something else you should know.” He looked visibly uncomfortable. Anna’s stomach twisted nervously. “Your sister doesn’t have control of her magic. She refuses to accept my help. She’s... put people in dangerous situations in the past...”
“Like Mom?” It slipped out in a small voice, and Anna immediately felt terrible for saying it. But it was what she had been thinking, ever since she overheard that fight.
Dad sighed. “...It’s complicated, but in a way, yes,” he admitted. “I will tell you the whole story one day, I promise. For now, though, I want you to promise me that you won’t go trying to help her. I know you might think you’re helping, but you’re putting your own safety at risk.”
This made Anna feel a little defensive and a little scared. She was sure Elsa would never do anything to hurt her. Elsa was so careful. And she cared about Anna so much. But if Elsa had hurt Mom... 
Still, Anna wanted to do anything to stay in Swynlake. She could work out the rest later. So she just stayed quiet and nodded. 
Yeah, there was absolutely no way Anna was going to stay away from Elsa. Sorry.
“But if you promise me you’ll look out for your safety... you can stay at Pride U. I can’t stop you from seeing Elsa. But I do want to make sure you realize the gravity of the situation. This is very serious, Anna. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” There was a persistent look on his face that Anna recognized from their fight last fall about uni. Anna couldn’t win this. But she could do her best to appease her father, and then continue to figure things out on her own terms. 
It was the best shot she had.
“I understand,” Anna said, averting her eyes again. She was not a good liar.
“And... Anna?” Anna looked up. “I understand you were planning on surprising us by coming home for Midsummer? If you wanted to come back with me, you’re still welcome to join us. We rented a house in the mountains for a few days, and of course we’ll do a bonfire. Everyone misses you.”
There it was again. That gnawing guilt. That faint homesickness. 
“Okay, Dad,” Anna said quietly. “I’d like that. I miss everyone, too.”
When she looked back on the conversation, Anna felt like she hadn’t really won any battles. Just managed to fend off the scariest possibility of all, that she would have to leave Swynlake. But she had tried. And, at the end of it, she got most of what she wanted.
If only she could find out the truth, once and for all.
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excorcismic · 4 years
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    ❛ and my eyes are DAMP from the words you left , ringing in my head                            when you broke my chest . . . ❜
                                                   ❛ I’M STILL YOUR ZELDA . ❜                                                           playlist . plotting call . listen as you read !
the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to, reflecting back a spitting image of COURTNEY EATON  -  but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of THE SAVIOR ; BLINDING LIGHT AS YOU PROTECT YOUR FINAL HOPE strikes you.  perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse. you reassure yourself  -  you’re ( PRINCESS ) ZELDA KING ! ,  a TWENTY-TWO YEAR-OLD BIOLOGY STUDENT / FLORIST EMPLOYEE whose virtue lies in your + INTELLIGENT & + GOOD-HEARTED , although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - INSECURE & - PESSIMISTIC ,  and you’re associated with THE PRESSURE OF APOCALYPSE ON YOUR SHOULDERS , THE BLINDING LIGHT OF AN EXORCISM - A CLEANSING OF EVIL , GOLDEN TEARS FALLING INTO COLD & UNKIND WATERS OF PRAYER by those around you.  suddenly ,  however ,  you’ve found GOLDEN BRACELETS on your person - was that always there ? from the moment you leave the funhouse,  memories from your life in THE LEGEND OF ZELDA have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you .  you can almost hear I OF THE STORM by OF MONSTERS AND MEN following in your wake. ( she/they &  genderfluid )
                  this is the story of a very powerful being .
I . IF I COULD FACE THEM, IF I COULD MAKE AMENDS WITH ALL MY SHADOWS . . .
zelda king is born to a prestigious family with years of alucard history in their bloodlines . their father , speaking the word of the lord with a tongue of gold , and their mother , speaking the scripts of the law with a tongue of silver . they’re comfortable & happy - and the bundle they hold in their arms is the one that will carry along their glory .
so , simply , a child does not grow allowed to be a child - nothing but the best , that is what zelda king has been told to be from a young age .
from the moment she can enroll in school , she enters an expensive private school . from the moment she can speak , she is instructed to help her father with sunday mass . from the moment she can walk , she is sent to try out every single sport or physical activity until she finds one that suits her fancy ( she finds it in fencing . ) and it’s decided from an early age that she’ll either go into lord or law , golden tongue or silver . nothing else . and she is to get nothing but the best grades , as a prodigy is the bare minimum for what a king should be .
II . I’D BOW MY HEAD , AND WELCOME THEM . . .
zelda king has no say in the matter when it comes to her life - she doesn’t grow up with many friends that she chooses on her own , but she does have a few that her parents approve of . she doesn’t do much outside of the activities expected of her , but she likes to watch the other kids play & mess around . studying , fencing , praying - it seems like that’s all she knows .
but there’s an instance where her parents are out of town , and zelda’s aunt rachel is the one they ask to babysit . and aunt rachel introduces the young child to a new concept : fun . fun is something that every child should prioritize , according to her , and the week that she is gone does zelda begin to learn what she’s missing out on .
her aunt first takes her on a trip to the park , and from then on zelda is enamored by the outside world she has yet to see up close . her aunt teaches her about flowers & nature and they spend the afternoon trudging through muddy grass and getting themselves dirty with the earth around them , making ‘food’ out of the dandelions and weed , picking wildflowers and braiding them together . the next day , aunt rachel takes zelda to the book store - and she purchases a bunch of books on flora & fauna with bright pictures yet lots of words . as her aunt bakes cookies , zelda points out everything she likes . 
bedtime stories consist of stories about gods & goddesses and princesses , knights , monsters . a few of them lead the young child to want to learn more , and back they go to the book store , where aunt rachel gives her books on greek , norse , egyptian mythos and more . as her aunt tends to a bundle of roses on the kitchen table , zelda tells her how cool it’d be to be like athena or freya .
but week-long vacations last for a week and not forever , and as much as zelda wishes it was different , aunt rachel has to leave again . but even as she’s put through her usual activities and rigorous studies once more , she’s found a new love in other things : the world around her , present and past . her parents shut the door on her to go to bed and she pulls out a flashlight , so instead of sleeping , she reads nothing but the books her aunt gave her .
III . BUT I FEEL IT BURNING , LIKE WHEN THE WINTER WIND STOPS MY BREATHING . . . > ( tw : maternal death )
it’s years still of endless pushing & pursuing but here is zelda still immersed in her passions to keep her from falling - as it feels like pillars of expectations are on her shoulders . she’s atlas , but while she holds the sky she thinks of the earth around her & the stories and fairytales and the pain becomes less and less .
of course . . . that does not save her from the pain that comes with a lost loved one .
mrs . king is laid to rest when zelda is seventeen ; the scholarly child is already overcome with grief , and as her father holds her hand while sobbing , they recover together at a slow pace . things are quiet as they calm , but over a few months as zelda tells him of her acceptance into college - he tells her that she must go into law to make her mother proud . it was the woman’s dying wish , after all , and her law firm will be zelda’s when she’s ready .
but . . . that is not what zelda wants . she wants to go into science ; to research and study life around her , and to explore and see more of the wonders beyond alucard . she doesn’t want to be in a stuffy courtroom , she wishes to run around and study the beauty that populates this planet . but when she assigns her major as biology , her father fumes . the only way she can appease him is promising she’ll minor in law , and she does so , but there’s nothing but endless frustration .
she loves her mom , and she wants to respect her mom’s memory - but she should not toss away her own person to do so .
as a college student , zelda sits back and reflects on her past two decades of allowing her parents to shape her into someone they want rather than what she wants to be . only her aunt has allowed her to be her own person , and at this point she realizes that she only know a bit about herself . she hasn’t had much of an opportunity to discover who she is , but she knows what she likes - science & history .
she sits in her college dorm , alone at her desk , thinking to herself about how she’s an adult now ; she is free , and the only thing that can allow her to still cave into what others want is herself . she makes a vow to start moving into the directions she wants ; she has only known herself to be by what others think - the whispers of little miss perfect and the alucard prodigy are common epithets . and she is proud that she’s intelligent , but she’d rather try and make her own path and get to know herself better .
so she promises to discover zelda king , and not the perfect princess , the goody-two-shoes , the next in the bloodline . there is a slumbering power that resides in this person . . . a slumbering power that she’ll unlock by learning who she is .
IV . ARE YOU REALLY GONNA LOVE ME WHEN I’M GONE ??
she still needs to slowly stave from twenty years of people pleasing - baby steps . the expectations she’s under are still heavy and she has yet to figure out how she wants to free herself of them .
she does know a few things : one , she does genuinely love knowledge and learning . scholarly pursuits are her passions , especially those having to do with scientific and historical studies . museums and exhibits are her favorite places as well as botanical gardens and open parks .
two , she doesn’t hate everything her parents have introduced to her . fencing is something she’s still active in ; maybe that’s something that comes with the pride of being a champion , but she doesn’t mind it .
three , she wants to explore not only the world around her , but the people . even people that her father would never allow inside the house - in fact , that only DRAWS zelda to them . she wants to expand her horizons , do away with the perfection reputation she’s gained . she is still . . . new , but she is determined to shake the perception . 
her talents are not only known in the social circle of her family - given the fact her father is a local preacher and her mother was a popular & well-trusted lawyer , their prodigy child only had her own reputation . from fencing champion to star student to trilingualist to golden choir child , she’s either loved or hated by those who strictly only know her by her epithets . it’s . . . irritating , to say the least .
she doesn’t believe in religion & law sours her , even though she does as well in the latter as much as she does in biology . she has a natural gift for speaking & presenting , but would rather engage in the environment of the outdoors and the laboratories than the courtroom . 
and . . . sometimes it is easy to tell that she is cracking under the stress and pressure she’s been carrying for years . a kind person & an intellectual with gifts , talent , skill - but she still needs to learn it’s okay to breathe . she can let herself breathe now . it’s alright .
some chances to breathe come - such as her job at the florist ; she can spat off a million facts about each flower , each succulent , each plant . she loves the arrangement of bouquets , the look on a young teen’s face as she fixes their corsage . flowers are a gift to the world zelda can’t help but appreciate . 
she also loves the library ; still sometimes more focused on books of her passions than her studies . she knows almost every greek , egyptian , norse myth by heart , and has read almost every book on those shelves at least twice . 
twenty two years old , genderfluid , pansexual . passionate in all things biology , history , flowers , and mythos . still a lot to discover , but . . . zelda is becoming quite fond of the person she’s finding herself to be . perhaps one of the smartest people in alucard , but certainly with a heart as big as her brain .
                                                         and they call me under . . . 
there is someone . someone with blood in her mouth , dirt on her cheeks , but herpalms glow with the golden light of the heavens & her veins run with the divine ichor of gods . she looks at zelda from the other side of the mirror with damp & reddened eyes , but as her chin rises with confidence , there’s maybe a smile of COCKINESS and belief that no matter what evil comes towards her , she’s got this . and zelda . . . as confused as she is , leaves the house of mirrors with the same thing . she’s a being of the gods ; ichor flows through her veins and every word from her mouth is from the tongues of the heavens . and there is power that resides in every action , every line spoken . . . she is both blessed & a blessing , and she will do good things here .
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malecsecretsanta · 4 years
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Merry Christmas, @alecisgay!
I am absolutely not a Fluff writer so this prompt was a challenge for me. But in the end I even had fun writing it. I've never written soulmate aus before either so I hope I did okay. I hope you'll enjoy this gift and that you spend your holidays with happy feelings and care!
Read on AO3
*****
Of spilled Coffees and Revealed Marks
Begrudgingly he looked over the report again. It wasn't as if he didn't know the whole agenda already, he just needed to be sure. To say he was stressed was a wrong use of words. He wasn't peculiarly stressed or even anxious. 'Uneasy' or 'discomforted' were more suitable words. He swiped his finger on the holopad. The cruel lack of allies was staring back at him under the form of a list of attendees. At least when Raphael was still the representative of the Night Children, Magnus knew meetings wouldn't be derailed easily. He didn't know who this Simon Lewis was and the way Tessa and Catarina had played it out he was still quite the fledgeling. Neither did he know who Maia Roberts was.
He knew he had been away from New York over fifty years now and things had changed ridiculously over short spans of time. Signing the newly established accords felt like only yesterday, an ordeal that had put down the wars between the Nephilim and Downworlders after Valentine Morgenstern's extermination. But here he was, on behalf of the Warlock council of New York, disclosing new accords that wouldn't only give more territorial rights to everyone but also rights to vote for clave representatives in Idris. Things were changing at a fast pace and Magnus didn't know how to feel about it.
Elation ? Relief ? Pride ? How long would it take for the Nephilims to change their minds and come back on their promises ? Which they had done so very often in the past. Their own interpretations of the 'laws' and 'accords' had cost many innocent lives only a year ago in the London suburbs. It had taken Magnus months to appease the tensions between the werewolf packs and shadowhunters who didn't want to stay in their lane. It was all easier if everyone stopped wanting to be superior toward each other. Alliances were a necessary evil when it was about co-existing as different species on the same soil.
He played around with his now empty martini glass. He still had the feeling he wasn't awake enough for this. Hopefully the meeting would be over as soon as possible and he could go back to London. Fleeing New York, trying to heal his broken heart, still felt like a sore thorn in his side. He disliked being here, disliked dealing with Nephilims, disliked needing to step in because the Spiral Labyrinth needed updated wards and he absolutely disliked the food around here.
He sighed, scrolling back through the agenda points. He stopped in his tracks. A ping echoed and a new name flashed on the attendee list.
'Inquisitor Alexander Lightwood'
He raised an eyebrow. Tessa had said there wouldn't normally be any high officials joining the meeting, but it looked like she'd been wrong. He sighed again. He hadn't dealt well with the last inquisitor he had met. Imogen Herondale hadn't been the most courteous woman, especially since she had lobbied to destitute the Warlock council of their privileges to meet for the winter solstice. The celebration required a large gathering of both mundanes and other Downworlders to complete a cleansing ritual. She had seen reason after a few weeks of negotiations and a promise of memory spells being cast upon the mundanes. It had been tedious.
Hopefully Alexander Lightwood wasn't as stubborn and would sway more in favour than against possible changes in the accords.
He made the holopad vanish with a snap of his fingers. He finished readying himself, choosing a more red and black colour palette of clothing, and leaving his hair like it was. There was no need for colour as long as he left his ears pierced with gold. Once his 'armour' was well set in place he opened a portal on the scheduled time.
He killed the feeling of dread that rose up and stepped inside.
There wasn't really a welcoming committee. It was an empty hallway that had a few shadowhunters guarding it. It looked very different from the Cathedral the nephilim used in England. It was smaller, but somewhat cozier. The wood next to the stone gave a contrast Magnus wouldn't have guessed to ever like. But he wasn't entirely swayed even if the renaissance paintings and the stained glass livened up the place. The oppression of the Angelic runes was omnipresent. The wards of the institute were strong and their magic was overwhelming. Magnus felt cornered. Even if Tessa's familiar magic rested upon the walls, he couldn't ignore how every single camera seemed to scrutinize him, scan him. The two guarding shadowhunters made their way to him.
"High Warlock Magnus Bane ?" Magnus squinted, surprised by the friendly tone of voice the shadowhunter was using. This was very different from the usual treatment he got. Perhaps change was indeed on its way.
"In the flesh," he said. The two shadowhunters nodded toward each other and invited him to follow them. He recognized Isabelle Lightwood from the description Catarina had given him. She was standing further away, talking with a seelie representative and someone else. Upon seeing him approach she ended the conversation she was having.
"Welcome to the New York institute. I'm Isabelle Lightwood." Her smile felt so natural, Magnus felt himself get momentarily disarmed. He had known her ancestors back when the Lightwoods were still present in London. Even if they had been good people, they were nowhere near Isabelle's open attitude. He shook her hand.
"Magnus Bane, thank you for allowing me to fill in for Tessa the upcoming weeks, our glamour wards needed an urgent recasting since that mundane plane accident almost made them drop." There was something about her that made him want to talk. She didn't look like the the type of shadowhunter to dismiss and make a comment about incompetence when it was about warlocks needing help.
"All the pleasure is mine, Catarina has said a lot of good things about you, I'm glad I can welcome you in my institute. Although it is smaller than the one from London, I hope you will find yourself at ease. We wouldn't be able to get things done without you." Magnus returned her smile he was about to speak again but they were interrupted by the small cough coming from the man standing next to her.
He was tall, his frame trapped in a simple dark blue suit with a black shirt, his gaze was reserved but confident. Magnus didn't understand how he hadn't noticed the man right next to the head of the institute. The way a rune framed his neck to hide underneath the collar of a shirt that had the two top buttons undone, the way his black hair framed his face, a bit wild, enticing to be played with… Magnus felt himself take an involuntary step forward.
'And who are you ?'
"This is my brother, Alec Lightwood. Inquisitor and clave consul from Idris. He will be joining us today. " Isabelle seemed amused but Magnus refused to look away. The way the inquisitor moved in short but calculated movements… the way they were fluid and strong. This man felt… strangely safe, reliable. He blinked a few times. Not really certain if his heart could follow what was happening in his head.
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, High Warlock Bane." Magnus felt entranced, the deep drawl made a tense feeling curl up inside of his gut as he stared a bit too long at the extended hand in front of him. Long fingers of a calloused hand that had seen battles and a strong wrist neatly decorated by cuff-links momentarily side-tracked his mind.
He clasped the offered hand, feeling the warmth of the man's hand enclosing his. His heart involuntarily fluttered. Magnus' breath had been knocked out of him and he almost forgot to talk.
"All the pleasure is mine, I saw your name appear on the list earlier this evening." His mind swam and his whole body was just… tense. There was something, something indescribable. Something he couldn't pin-point. He let the hand go. He let his eyes roam over the inquisitor again. His mind clicked in place, understanding he wouldn't mind asking the man out for dinner.
"Yes, Isabelle thought it would be beneficial if I were to oversee the meeting today." The intense hazel eyes stared back at Magnus and the High Warlock couldn't help but smirk. He knew this look, the look of interest, the look of desire with a tinge of arousal, the look of mutual attraction.
"I must say that the very stern name doesn't live up to the charming face I see before me." Magnus instantly took a step backwards when instead of a blush or a well constructed quip Magnus' compliment was met with a scowl. The whole posture of Alexander Lightwood shifted into a defensive stance that made Magnus wonder if the man was planning on attacking him.
"We all have names with history and faces around here, Mr. Bane. But trivial matters aside I so do hope I can count on your complete cooperation and focused attention during this meeting. We will be discussing laws and proposals of primordial importance that will decide the future of the Downworld's society." Magnus knew how to stand his ground, and regardless of the inquisitor's almost unwavering tone, Magnus knew how to read between the lines.
"Oh flirt-lines a bit of a touchy subject with you, Mr. Lightwood ?" He bit back, he shouldn't have but the look on Lightwood's face was worth it. It was a complete stupefied expression that would have made Magnus smile if he just hadn't been dismissed as unprofessional. Because that was something that got on his nerve. How dare he ?
"My apologies, of course the fate of my people comes before any pleasantries and quips. You'll see me completely focused for the next upcoming weeks. No fear." He clenched his jaw, daring the inquisitor to make any other remark. It didn't come and right when either him or Lightwood was about to say something, an arm circled his and he was dragged away by Isabelle.
She said something about guiding him toward his seat. He didn't hear her correctly. His gut had twisted unpleasantly and it downed on him pretty late how Alexander Lightwood had gone from a charming face to a dismissive typical Nephilim in the space of a few seconds. The man had gotten under his skin and it wasn't even midnight yet. He inhaled, trying to concentrate on his steps. Let his energy flow to the ground. When they arrived at the table he already felt less on edge.
"Charming brother you have there," he said. He unlocked his arm from Isabelle, glancing toward the inquisitor who hadn't moved one inch from where he stood… Brooding ? A deep frown was creasing his brow. Magnus dismissed the need to soothe it.
"Oh, Alec is really not used to being flirted with." She sounded amused, which made Magnus turn toward her. She was even grinning. "A tip, if you want to approach him again, try to be less direct. My brother tends to close off immediately when he is feeling threatened." He wanted to retort something but he found himself unable to and she noticed. She noticed and even winked at him.
"Let him come to you, that's the way into his heart." He pursed his lips together, trying to tell her she was getting the wrong idea. But as he glanced back again at the inquisitor from afar who greeted another representative, he could feel himself being sucked back into contemplation. The 'thank you' he muttered through his teeth was almost inaudible.
She left him there as he took his seat. More holopads were handed out and twenty minutes later people gathered around the table. The inquisitor started the meeting with thanking them all. Thanking every one of them to come on such short notice to polish some of the proposals. His charisma was undeniably present, his posture was inviting him to listen to him and his ideas. He went over the agenda points one by one and Magnus realized it didn't cost him any effort to just listen. The deep drawl was focused and leading. Alexander Lightwood was patient and preventively stepped in when things were getting more heated.
And just like that Magnus started to feel at ease. Tension and worries seeped away to become a well-put professional demeanor. People around the table were here to negotiate and Magnus felt that his ideas were listened to. Things were alright. Even if the new Alpha of the werewolf pack of New York was a bit out of sorts she knew how to be argumentative. In a year or two she would make a fierce leader, Magnus was sure of it. Scott would have liked her, had he still been alive.
They were shortly interrupted. The young vampire showing himself was none other than Simon Lewis who apologised profusely for being late. A problem at the DuMort Hotel had occurred under the form of a dispute between two vampire families that had needed resolving. He approached the extensively long table . Lily Chen who had filled in for him made space for him to sit. Magnus saw it happen before the others did. The way where Simon Lewis then by accident bumped into the inquisitor's elbow as the man brought a fresh mug of coffee to his lips.
The pain was scorching, made him jump upright.
"Oh shit I'm sorry…" The vampire apologized.
He clutched his arm, but there was not a scratch to be seen. It hurt and burned and when he raised his sleeve to check his sudden injury there was nothing. His froze. His eyes laid down on the other man who had raised himself at the same time as him at the other side of the table.
Oh.
He could feel his heart hammer in his chest. His whole body tingled with every possible rush of adrenaline. He felt his blood go from intense warmth to icy cold in the span of a second as his eyes laid themselves upon the inquisitor who was quickly undoing the coffee soaked sleeve of his shirt to check the damage.
Oh.
It didn't look like severe damage was done and the inquisitor was quickly given a tissue to soak up whatever remained in the sleeve. Alexander looked up at him and they stared at each other and it was as if time froze. Everything just got tuned out as silence reigned between them.
His new soulmate was a Nephilim.
"Is everything alright Inquisitor ?" The question was left unanswered. Both of their fingers rubbed against their respective skins as if to minimize the hurt. Hazel eyes were looking at him as if he was coming from another dimension. As if Magnus had either punched him in the face or woken him up by throwing him to the wolves.
Magnus sucked in a breath, not yet ready to face the realization that downed upon him. Not yet ready but able to look away. So he did, he tore his gaze away and laid his hands on the table for balance, for grounding, trying to desperately refrain himself from either running toward the man or to fleeing the premises. His head swam, his mind sinking into both panic and euphoria.
Their eyes met again. The burning sensation of coffee still seeped through his arm and left an increasingly big red mark on his arm.
"I-" Alexander tried. His voice was low and broken, not living up to what Magnus could read on his facial expression.
And Magnus couldn't talk, his whole throat locked up. From underneath his skin his magic tried to reach out to Alexander Lightwood. It sung a thousand tunes of joy and rejoice, wanting to be close to his unveiled soulmate. He felt everything spiral. The taste of coffee coated his mouth as his body synced with the other man. He felt the angelic magic draw unseen patterns of runes on his arms, his neck, his chest. He felt everything Alexander felt as his senses attuned to the sour and dry smell of burnt-in runes. The lingering pain they could bring, but also their unimaginable power. He felt everything.
And when he thought it was over it doubled. Magnus felt himself drawn to another, a different kind of link, Alexander and someone else, a parabatai. Something Magnus would have never guessed to ever feel, from the rune right above his hip, Magnus felt the energy, felt their bond, felt Alexander's body as if it were his own. He would feel and see Alexander even with his eyes closed. He could see, feel their connection as if it was his own. His magic sparked, unseen, trying to reunite itself with his soulmate, with Alexander, to become one again.
Magnus wanted to weep.
'Where have you been ? I've been looking for you for so long now.'
"My apologies, we will resume the meeting shortly." Magnus could feel the increased heartbeat and the tensing of muscles. He could feel the ragged breathing and trepidation -or was it excitement ? - Alexander was trying to control as he tried to keep his voice steady. They both sat back down too much in sync, too mirrored. Magnus was thankful for nobody taking notice when he had stood up in surprise as well when Alexander spilled his coffee.
Alexander… his soulmate's name was Alexander and he was a Nephilim, inquisitor and brother to the head of the New York Institute.
A stele was taken. Magnus felt his skin prickle above his hip and the dry and sour taste of angelic magic coated his mouth. Any burning sensation on his arm melted away.
He couldn't concentrate after that. Even if he did, even when he advanced Tessa's points and arguments, even if when he talked people seemed to listen an compliment his proposals. Alexander's eyes never strayed away from him. Magnus tried to ignore. But his heartbeat was in his throat and he could feel and hear Alexander's from across the room. One injury… It usually took a few hours if not several weeks to have the soulmarks awaken and connect, to recognize each other. All it took was one small injury in the form of spilled coffees. Magnus glanced at Alexander again.
He tried to keep his voice strong but a flush was creeping on his neck. They needed to talk. They really, really, needed to talk.
So when the meeting came to an end and a few things were agreed upon, Magnus was thankful for it, even if he knew how to keep his head cool. He would be able to work once his- no their heartbeats calmed and quieted down. Now that there was no fear for injury anymore, their bond even became dormant again after a few minutes.
He didn't sign anything because he preferred to review with both Catarina and Tessa before he continued the negotiations forward. Currently they all entertained the idea of having a High Warlock placed in Alicante. Every party agreed it was an idea to be developed in further meetings, to create a proposal to present before the Clave. It was thrilling, exciting. It made his head spin. A new age of stability was something that was well deserved and needed. He would find himself sending a letter to Clary Fray, the one shadowhunter who had made this all possible. He couldn't wait to meet her if he could.
Isabelle stood up and recited the agenda points for the next meeting one last time before rounding off with thanking everyone. Some people immediately rose to leave. Others stayed to chat. But Magnus ? He was lost in thought.
He had dreamed several times of meeting his soulmate, imagined them to be of all kinds of races and genders. In different scenarios and imaginative dreams he would either save them or be save by them. Or they would even show casual conversations in a bar or a knock on his front door as a client. He would never have imagined meeting his soulmate like this. Not in a shadowhunter institute.
He breathed in, nerves lighting up in him. He started to walk toward the exit. Alexander noticed him walking as he made his way past the newly formed social group were Simon Lewis was engaging everyone in a conversation about the incident at the DuMort. Magnus clenched his jaw, trying to ground himself.
"I will be outside shortly," he said. His eyes locked with Alexander's and Magnus had to control himself not to take a step backwards, anticipating that the intense gaze would leave him breathless.
He forced himself to continue walking, to be casual. He was afraid Alexander wouldn't follow him but once Magnus passed the door he heard the inquisitor call out an apology to his friends because he needed to do something. Magnus felt himself speed up. Not sure why, but it calmed his nerves. He found the main entrance quite fast. He opened the door, making his way down the church's stairs.
"High Warlock Bane."
He breathed as Alexander called out for him.
"Magnus !"
He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. There he stood, Alexander Lightwood, his cold and focused expression had melted away. There was hope, confusion, fear now. It was everything at once and he was a bit out of breath. The yellow street lights and high lanterns only visible to the ones with the sight played shadows behind him. Magnus didn't reply. He didn't know what to say. He… wanted to step forward but didn't. Alexander's rejection was still on his mind but Alexander's expression was squeezing his thoughts shut. There was curiosity on those fine and broad traits.
"Your name is Magnus." He moved down the stairs, scratching his neck while doing so as he stopped a step or two from Magnus. He looked beautiful, Magnus thought. "I-" he tried.
"You're a Nephilim," Magnus interrupted. He wanted to soothe away the frown on Alexander's brow, soothe away the fear. The phrase froze Alexander in place as he lowered his hand from his neck.
"You're a Warlock," he replied. Magnus took a step upwards. Breathing in wasn't easy. He felt his stomach twist, jump. He couldn't be aware of them all at once. It was too much.
But also not enough.
"I don't care." His voice wavered. He wanted to reach out. Touch. He wanted to touch Alexander. Feel him, touch him, make sure he was real. That all of this wasn't a fragment of his imagination, not some other dream he was having. He wanted Alexander. He wanted his arms around him, embrace him, have his lips on him. He wanted to kiss him.
"Neither do I." Alexander's voice was hoarse. Magnus took another step upwards. They were right in front of each other.
"I know we had a hiccup earlier. When I… rejected you. I'm sorry so sorry. I-" Alexander closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to find words. Magnus tilted his head to the side to let the Nephilim take his time to find his words.
"It's hard for me do these things- flirting I mean." He sounded embarrassed and Magnus felt himself tremble from the butterflies in his belly and his legs shake from their proximity. His head would almost be spinning if he let it.
"I know it wouldn't be appropriate for me to ask and you can always say no. But-" There was a blush coating Alexander's cheeks. "But by the angel can I kiss you ?"
Magnus felt his heart stop, thrum, throb. All of it. He felt all of it. His hands shook slightly as he reached out for Alexander's. He brought them up to his own face. Alexander had a loud intake of breath as their skins touched. Magnus let the hands go as they settled on his jawline and cheeks. He was still trembling and he reached out for the lapels of Alexander's jacket to ground himself again. He could feel the heat, the hot breath upon his face.
"You may, Alexander, you may." As soon as he breathed the words two lips laid himself upon his in the softest way possible.
Magnus floated, feeling every sense open up. He lost control of his glamour if not a little bit of his legs too. His magic roped them together. Like a wave and tendrils of light intermixing with the magic from their soul-bond. He felt his skin prickle as their marks solidified. The wetness of lips and the heat on his cheeks made him almost forget to respond to Alexander's kiss. But he did and Alexander dragged them closer together. He let his hands fall from Magnus' face to circle the warlock's shoulders. The hands felt steadier and when their kiss became more feverish, more them, more movements and nipping at lips, Magnus' head spun into oblivion, forgetting about time and space, forgetting about the world around them.
They had stuff to figure out, places to move, things and boundaries to talk about, political decisions to make, dates to go on to.
But it didn't matter.
Not right now.
Not when after years of searching, yearning and almost giving up, Magnus Bane, High Warlock of London, found his soulmate again.
The End
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mustangtaisa · 7 years
Text
Of Secrets and Dresses
This is also posted on Fanfiction.Net and AO3.
Pairing: RoyxRiza Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff Word Count: 3522 Written as a Secret Santa gift for @paintedladyallura. Summary: The annual winter military ball is fast approaching, but Riza hates shopping for dresses. Roy runs into her and decides to join her in choosing something suitable for the event. Will he manage to help her make this a Winter Veil worth remembering? Or will dredging up old, painful memories ruin it?
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Riza sighed for the third time since she had left her house that afternoon and tightened her scarf around herself in an attempt to combat the cold. She glanced in all the frosty shop windows that she passed along the snow covered street and frowned. Wreaths were hanging on every door, garland lined railings and roofs, and everything in Central was merry and bright, but there was nothing merry for Hawkeye when it came to dress shopping.
The annual winter military ball was in a week and, courtesy of Fuhrer Grumman, all attendees were given the option to wear formal clothes as opposed to their dress blues. He made it clear that he wanted to see Riza in something other than her uniform. Not wanting to upset the Fuhrer, who also happened to be her grandfather, she was forced to search for a dress that would be suitable to wear to such a formal event.
But dress shopping had never been an easy task for Riza. The dress had to meet her special requirements and few actually fit the bill. If they did, they usually were not flattering. She had learned to lower her standards long ago when it came to clothes shopping and it was why she rarely shopped for new clothes, much to her best friend Rebecca’s disappointment. Many an outing was declined for reasons Riza always refused to disclose. Rebecca knew her friend was lying every time Riza made an excuse about why she couldn’t or didn’t want to go, but she was a good friend and never pushed Riza to explain herself.
There were far more elegant shops to choose from now that Riza lived in Central and it was actually the first time she had ever truly looked at them. She hadn’t ever needed anything too fancy to wear since moving, so shopping in this part of town never crossed her mind. Now that an occasion presented itself, Riza realized she had no idea where to even start.
She almost ran into someone when a particular shop caught her attention and she quickly stepped closer to the building to avoid a collision.
“Excuse me,” Riza said. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
“I noticed.”
At hearing the familiar voice, Riza actually took a better look at the man she almost walked into. She found herself face to face with none other than her superior officer, Brigadier General Roy Mustang, grinning from behind his scarf. He chuckled at the surprise on her face.
“I thought you were working today, sir?”
“I was, but I managed to finish up my paperwork and got out early.”
Riza eyed him skeptically.
“Why am I having a hard time believing that?”
It’s true!” Roy exclaimed, pouting. “Anyway, what are you up to in this part of town?”
Riza sighed and looked back at the shop she had been distracted by.
“Trying to find a dress for next week. I’m afraid it’s been a long time since I last shopped for anything very fancy and I’m not even sure if I’ll find something appropriate…”
She didn’t need to elaborate. Roy knew exactly what she was insinuating and he frowned.
“Nonsense, Captain,” he said gently. “I’m sure we can find something that would suit you.”
Riza turned back to Roy and raised a brow.
“We?”
Roy grinned again and nodded.
“Oh yes, now that I’ve run into you, I’d be more than delighted to help you look for something.” Riza opened her mouth to protest, but Roy shook his head before she could say anything, opening the door to the shop and gesturing for her to go inside. “This looks like a good place to start. Now, let’s get out of the cold.”
Riza gave him a look, but said nothing as she entered the store, Roy following right behind.
Upon walking into the shop, they were greeted by a woman behind the counter who smiled at them, paying extra attention to Roy who shot the woman his trademark smolder. It was an act to which Riza paid no mind. It was his usual gimmick and she had learned to ignore it a long time ago. Besides, the man hadn’t ever actually been on a date that wasn’t with one of his sisters, and he always insisted that no one could ever hold a candle to her as far as he was concerned.
Riza was one of the few people who knew the real Roy Mustang. Despite his outward charm and suave personality, he was actually a dork and his attempts to flirt with her were almost always embarrassing and never worked. He could be such a ridiculous idiot sometimes, but somehow, it was one of the things about him that was so endearing to Riza.
The shopkeeper went back to work and Roy and Riza began scanning the racks for a dress that could potentially fit all of Riza’s criteria. It was a large shop with quite a few options and Riza silently hoped this would be the only store they’d have to go to. It had barely been half an hour since she’d started her shopping trip, but she couldn’t wait for it to be over so she could go home and curl up with a book a cup of tea.
The more they searched the store, the more it became apparent that the dresses that were in style that season, that would also work well for Riza, were slim pickings. For Riza’s sake, Roy tried to remain optimistic. After a while, he split off from her to pluck a couple of dresses from a rack across the store that he thought would look good on her and when he wandered back toward his captain, he noticed her eyeing a particular dress wistfully. It was lavender silk with white accents and Roy was positive it would have looked wonderful on her, but as he got closer, he realized why she looked so somber.
The dress was strapless and had a sheer and lacy back, completely negating any possibility of her being able to wear it in public. Riza ran her hand over the fabric and sighed.
Roy frowned at the sight and stepped closer to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“You should at least try it on,” he murmured.
Riza looked up at him quickly and if she had been startled, she didn’t show it. She simply shook her head and released the hem of the dress.
“No… It’s not a style I like anyway.”
Roy could tell she was lying, but Riza turned away and resumed perusing the other dresses and he understood the look she had given him all too clearly. Her decision was final and she did not want to discuss the subject any further. Roy sighed and followed after her. He knew the dress would look beautiful on her, but he wouldn’t risk upsetting her further and didn’t mention it again.
After what seemed like hours, they finally managed to find a dress that would cover all of Riza’s back and, as an unexpected bonus, it was even good looking. Riza didn’t bother trying it on, knowing it would fit and not wanting to spend any more time on something so stressful for her.
Roy offered to buy the dress she chose, but Riza wouldn’t hear it, insisting that it was absolutely inappropriate. Roy couldn’t argue with that and waited for her at the front of the store, opening the door for her when she was finished making her purchase, then following her out into the chilly afternoon.
000000
The first winter ball under Fuhrer Grumman’s leadership was nothing short of extravagant. The decor, food, and drink were all top notch and Roy was thankful for the four bottles of wine at every table. He was pretty sure he was going to need an entire bottle to himself to get through the evening with how much attention Grumman was bringing to him. He’d also need to probably down another one thanks to the many women, single or not, that were clamoring to dance with him. He hadn’t been at the gala for long and he had already danced with no fewer than five ladies. They were all lovely, but not at all his type.
And then he saw Riza walk in.
The red and white dress they had chosen looked lovely on her, just as he knew it would, with a high neck and long sleeves and the skirt falling just past her knees. Her hair was left down to cascade in golden waves over her shoulders and back, a band of holly adorning the crown of her head. Roy felt the sudden urge to walk over to her and run his fingers through the silky strands, but he forced himself to remain professional, simply nodding at her when their eyes met.
Riza returned his nod of acknowledgement then turned away, searching for a glass of champagne and an empty seat. It wasn’t that Riza hated these sorts of parties. In fact, she quite enjoyed seeing her friends and co-workers in a setting outside of work, but she had never been fond of such formal gatherings. It could get exhausting having to deal with so many high ranking officials in a stuffy room for several hours. She would much rather have been home with Hayate spending the night in peace and quiet.
But, the Fuhrer was her grandfather, despite only herself, Mustang, and Grumman knowing that little tidbit, and she felt like she could at least appease the old man by showing up. And with Roy being a brigadier general now, he needed someone to watch his back even more so than before. Generals had often been targets for assassination or kidnapping in the past. Just because they had defeated Father and took down the corrupt upper brass on the Promised Day months earlier didn’t mean criminal activity would cease. There would always be people out to do harm to high ranking military officials, and a party where everyone had their guard down was the perfect opportunity for said criminals to act. But Riza would always be there to make sure Roy remained safe. It was her number one reason for attending these events every year.
No matter how busy the guests seemed to be keeping Roy, he continually stole glances at Riza throughout the night. All he wanted to do was sit down next to her and talk or dance with her as opposed to the seemingly endless line of others vying for his attention. But, he had a reputation to maintain, so he kept up his charming smile and accepted each request to dance. He knew Riza understood, but that didn’t make it any easier for him to ignore her like he did. Keeping up the facade in front of her had always been something he hated and he vowed to himself that he would make it up to her one day.
The winter ball finally drew to a close and as the band prepared to play the final song of the evening, Roy sought out Riza, declining several women who asked to dance with him as he made his way to his captain. When he reached her, he smiled his first real smile that day and held out his hand. She blinked up at him, a small smile tugging at her red painted lips. Not a word needed to be said and she placed her hand in his. He led her to the dance floor with his hand resting on the small of her back, hers coming to rest on his shoulder. They took the familiar stance at the center of the ballroom, holding each other as close as they could without drawing too much attention. Roy grinned at her when the music began playing and she rolled her eyes at his playfulness when he began leading her in time to the music.
They swept across the floor with practiced ease. Riza’s hair flowed out around her on every turn, tantalizing Roy to brush his hand through it, but again he held himself back, keeping his eyes locked on hers. He gazed softly and affectionately at her as they glided effortlessly past the other couples on the floor around them.
“Let me drive you home tonight,” Roy muttered so only she could hear. “I have something I need to give you.”
Riza narrowed her eyes in confusion.
“Is it work related?”
Roy held back a sigh. He knew the only way she would ever agree to go to his place or let him go to hers was if the visit was related to work. Her reasoning was always that if someone happened to see them entering or leaving each other’s apartments, they would have a legitimate excuse as to why they were together. The reason he wanted to drive her home that night was certainly not work related, but he couldn’t tell her that so he shrugged instead and hoped she wouldn’t argue.
“You could say that…”
Riza sighed, but nodded, still looking at him incredulously.
Roy grinned, happy she agreed, and as the last song of the evening came to an end, he pulled reluctantly away from her and led her through the crowd off the dance floor toward the exit. If they left now, no one would really notice as everyone else gathered their things and made to leave.
They arrived at Roy’s car and Riza got into the driver’s seat immediately. There was no way she was letting him drive if she had any say about it. He gave her a look, but she glared right back and he held his hands up in front of him in defeat and got into the passenger’s seat.
The drive to Mustang’s place was quiet, but not uncomfortably so. He seemed to be thinking about something and Hawkeye didn’t want to disturb his thoughts so she stayed silent as she drove. The gentle glow of the street lamps reflected softly on the snow along the road and it gave the night a peaceful atmosphere. Riza briefly thought that she would be content just staying there next to Roy for the rest of her life, but pushed that out of her mind when she pulled up at the curb next to his apartment building. Roy realized where they were once the car stopped and he turned to Riza with a smile.
“Come up with me for a minute?”
Riza eyed him warily.
“Can’t you just bring whatever it is down here?”
Roy sighed and pouted.
“No,” he said, imploring her with his gaze. “it’s nothing weird. I promise it won’t take long. Besides, everyone important that could potentially see us is still at the ball.”
Riza never could resist his pout for long and Roy knew it. She should have been angry with him for using that knowledge against her, but instead, she unbuckled her seatbelt and sighed.
“All right, I’ll go in with you. But only for a few minutes.”
Roy grinned and hopped out of the car, hurrying into his building with Riza in tow. He was acting like a giddy teenager and Riza almost laughed at him.
It wasn’t long before they arrived at his home. He unlocked the door and gestured for her to come inside with a flourish. She smirked and shook her head at his antics, walking over the threshold and into his apartment. It was larger than hers, but didn’t contain much more furniture than her own. A couch, coffee table, and dining table and chairs were the only things that filled the space besides the number of bookshelves lining the rest of the walls.
“Just a second,” Roy said as he closed and locked the door and hurried over to the dining table, lifting a wrapped package and bringing it over to Riza in the living room. “For you. Happy Winter Veil.”
Riza’s eyes widened slightly in surprise as she slowly took the package he held out to her. His smile was soft now, but she could tell he was still excited about the gift. She placed the package on the coffee table and tore off the wrapping, glancing up at him every few seconds in confusion. Sure they got each other gifts for Winter Veil every year, but it was rarely anything very personal. They were always careful about the sorts of things they gave each other to keep up appearances. It was never anything they couldn’t open in front of others. But Riza had the distinct feeling that this was different.
When she pulled the lid off of the box she almost gasped. She looked up at him quickly and then back down to the box a couple of times before she gingerly pulled out the lavender silk dress she had fallen in love with at the dress shop a week earlier.
“It’s...It’s lovely,” she said, and she meant it, though her voice was soft with a tinge of sadness. “I love it. But why? Why would you get this? You know I can never wear it…”
“Well, would you wear it for me sometime?”
Riza looked at him again and he was smiling at her so warmly, with so much affection, it almost broke her heart. She looked down at the dress in her arms and a hint of a smile found it’s way to her lips.
“I suppose I could do that.”
“Why don’t you try it on?”
Riza nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. A while later she came back into the living room holding the dress up to herself.
“Would you zip me up?”
Roy smiled and nodded, holding back a gasp at how beautiful he thought she looked in the dress, even without it on properly yet. All those other women at the ball had nothing on her. Riza was gorgeous and lavender was definitely her color.
She turned her back to him and he frowned, a different wave of emotions suddenly washing over him. She had told him long ago to stop blaming himself for what she asked him to do to her back and, for her sake, he tried his best to not say anything. But every time he saw her scars, he couldn’t help but feel guilty and terrible about what he did to her.
He took a deep breath and swallowed down any ill feelings or apologies he wanted to say. This was supposed to be a pleasant evening between them and he wouldn’t ruin it for her by bringing up memories he knew she’d rather keep buried.
He finally had a chance to run his hands through her hair, like he’d been wanting to do all night, and so he took the opportunity to do so, enjoying the softness between his fingers before sweeping her hair to the side to zip up her dress. Though before he did, he placed a soft kiss to the scars on her shoulder. He couldn’t help it. It would upset her if he voiced his apologies, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t convey his feelings through actions. He felt Riza stiffen as he pressed his lips to her skin, but she said nothing and, after a few lingering moments, he moved back and zipped her dress.
“There,” he said, and she adjusted the dress before turning around to face him again.
This time, Roy did gasp, taking in a sharp breath and smiling widely.
“You look amazing,” he said and Riza smiled, a faint blush tinging her cheeks.
“Thank you,” she replied, her voice soft, but full of emotion.
Roy reached over and brushed her bangs from her eyes, his gaze turning sorrowful.
“I hate that what he did to you...What I did to you, seems to run your life… You shouldn’t have to hide yourself...At least not from me.”
He shouldn’t have said it, but it really wasn’t fair. She was beautiful, every part of her, but she lived her life in a constant state of wariness, afraid of someone seeing her tattoo and scars.
Riza blinked up at him and frowned, dropping her gaze to the table beside her.
“I…It doesn’t matter,” Riza said through a sigh and absently ran her hands over the fabric clinging to her hips.
“I’m sorry,” he said when he realized she was upset. “I shouldn’t have said anything, I just…”
Roy took her hand gently and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.
“You’re beautiful,” he breathed, lips brushing the top of her head as he spoke. “I hope you know that.”
He felt her take a shuddering breath, but when she pulled away and looked up at him again, she was smiling softly. He returned her smile and dropped his hand the small of her back.
“Dance with me?”
Riza’s smile widened a bit and she nodded.
“Yes, sir, I would love to.”
Roy held her close again and they found a slow rhythm. They swayed and twirled to music only they could hear as snow fell over the hushed city outside, beyond their warm embrace.
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(Did anyone recognize the World of Warcraft reference?)
A great big thanks to @onceandalwaysenglishmajor for being my beta and @ladywiltshire who also betaed for me and informed me that the color lavender represents love, devotion, and purity, which happens to be perfect for this. I hadn’t known that until she asked if I used the color for any special reason. So yay for me for somehow subconsciously knowing that. lol
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guttersvillemayor · 5 years
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Opportunity To Breathe Again
[It took me a little while to get over myself and talk to Dahlia about everything that was bothering me. And not just how lost I felt career wise, but also the struggle I was having trying to figure out how my friendship worked with Wendy now that she’s with Jonah. It honestly was so helpful and therapeutic that I regretted not approaching her sooner, and she was sure to tell me to not hesitate to reach out to her again if I needed to talk, even after she headed back to New Orleans. That was something that had come from our talk. She had suggested, and I had agreed, that it was best to stay in Alabama and spend some more time away to try and figure out things. 
Dahlia had also encouraged me to call my mother and tell her everything as well, and she’d even stayed by my side as I did so, refilling my drink when necessary and letting me just lay next to her on the couch, silently crying once I’d gotten off the phone. I’d never appreciated how much of a sister Dahlia had become to me until that night and I made sure to thank her for it the rest of her stay and even offered to watch the kids any time she needed me to once I was back home. 
My parents reached out to me shortly before Dahlia left to tell me that they’d take care of my expenses for the next few months to help me really get my life straightened out. Not many people are lucky enough to have that happen and I would be forever grateful for the good fortune my family had. So I’d spent the last few weeks going around and just taking different pictures, talking to people from college and work over the phone about potential jobs moving forward and even submitted a few photos to a couple different places as freelance to see what the possibility was of getting some more work. 
And that’s what I was doing, sorting through freelance submissions, when my family randomly showed up at the beach house. And it was pretty much the entire motley crew. My parents, all of my brothers, Dahlia and her kids as well as Reba. I’m not sure if Wendy actually had work or something that kept her in New Orleans, all I knew was that she hadn’t made the trip and a part of me was relieved as horrible as that was to admit at least to myself, and Dahlia at some point once she’d settled the kids in. Maybe my sister-in-law played some part in keeping Wendy from coming, knowing how I was struggling, either way it was one less stress I had to deal with after being ambushed by my family. Although my parents jokingly reminded me it was still their home until they died so they were free to come and go as they pleased. 
The first day or so I was on high alert just waiting for anyone of them to bring up the mess that was my life, but it didn’t happen. If anything, it was just like any other regular family getaway and I was the only one worrying about the outside world problems we usually leave behind. And maybe that was their plan all along, lull me into a false sense of security before attacking, because by their third morning there I had started to relax some. Even had some fun with Jude playing a prank on Jesse and then the older brothers. 
But that night after dinner when the family would normally split up into different activities, they all seemed to congregate in the big den. Reba and Dahlia giving me encouraging smiles while they took Abby and Artie up for their bedtime routine. I was just about to follow them and get the hell out of dodge then I heard her voice loud and clear. “Do you mind coming and sitting down with us, Emma Jean?” 
Do I mind? Of course I mind. Would I tell that to my mother? Absolutely not, never in a million years. So taking a deep breath, I turned and headed into the lion’s literal den, taking a seat next to Jude which seemed the safest. The bond I felt with him also helped to calm my nerves just a bit, and the goofy look on JD’s face didn’t hurt to lighten my mood as well. My parents were sitting together on the raised hearth to the small fireplace my mother had wanted for rare cold winter days spent here. From that spot, they were able to see all of us, the six children that they raised and put up with as we turned into the adults we had become, or were still becoming in some cases. 
My mother’s eyes were trained on me, but it was my father’s voice that now rang out in the room. “Emma Jean, your mother and brothers and I have been talking and we wanted to present you with an opportunity for your art and career.” My bottom lip instantly finds its way between my teeth, worrying the plump flesh. Clearly my family had been discussing me behind my back but I had to trust that it was for my benefit even if it frustrated me to have them all, once again, essentially gang up on me and my issues, more or less. 
“It was obvious from the first year or so after you got your first camera that you had a talent, EJ. There’s a reason that we all have so many of your pictures displayed at home, here, in your brothers’ homes and even at the office. You are an amazing photographer and you shouldn’t be wasting that gift in journalism, not that you weren’t great at what you did, but it didn’t let you truly show what you’re capable of. So after you told your mom what was really going on, we all sat down and had a talk.” 
I want to point out that it had been a discussion about my life without me being there to give any input, but a subtle nudge from Jude lets me know he could almost see what I was thinking and to keep my mouth shut. I loved my family and they loved me, if they’d done this, it was out of love. My mother’s hand clearly squeezes my father and it’s one of those small ways in which they communicate between themselves, and whenever I see it, I always hope to find someone that I can do something as simple as that with them. To know each other so fully on another level that we can speak without words. 
“Your father and I talked it over and then brought in your brothers because what we want to propose is that you stay here until you’re able to find a place of your own. In the few weeks you’ve been here, it’s sounded like you were able to not feel as weighed down as you have since before you left Baltimore. You’re always welcome to come back home and stay with any of us, but this way you have that freedom to really figure things out. And during that time, we’re going to keep helping you out with any bills or expenses you have.” 
I open my mouth to say that wasn’t necessary, that I’d find a job. However, my mom simply holds up her free hand to cut me off before I can even start. “We know, you’re our child, and we raised you to work and not expect a free ride. But we talked it over with your brothers and they agreed that this was the way to go. Besides, most of y’all went to college with scholarships so we have a lot still left in the college fund we started for you guys when Jasper was first born.” 
“And we’ve been very lucky as a family that my business has grown over the years, even more so when the older boys started working there. We have more than enough money to help you do this and have already set up a joint account for you that we can easily put more money into on a regular basis. Consider it an allowance or a salary if you will because your mother has one stipulation to all of this.” My eyebrow arches high and I glance around the room at my brothers, all of them seeming to truly be on board with this until I return my gaze to my parents, my tone cautious.] Okay… What exactly is this stipulation. 
[My mom’s lips pull back into a wide smile, that one she gets when she feels like she’s had a genius idea. And to be honest, her ideas are usually genius. “You have to take as many pictures as you can, from wherever you want, to make a book. Maybe even post some of them on a blog before then. I never told you this while you were working up north, but I had several people at different events over the years comment on how beautiful your photos were. And a few of them even suggested you putting together a photo book to get published. So I reached out to one of them and they said that if you could get something together, maybe even start building a presence online with social media or a blog, that he could help you sell your book. We told your brothers about this opportunity and they all agreed that it was perfect for you, and since the money to help you do all of this would come from the fund we created for all six of you, we figured it was only fair that they all had a say in the decision.” 
“And of course, we were totally on board with it.” My eyes cut over to Jesse. His happy face showing just how excited he was at the prospect. While a lot of my siblings had creative aspects to their lives and jobs, JD was the one I felt understood the overwhelming passion of creativity like I did, that inability to sit still or think of anything else until the inner beast was appeased. So it makes sense that he’d probably understand more than the others just what this could mean for me, to me. A chance to immerse myself fully in my craft and create something from it. Not just doing a job, but making a name for myself with a book of my own. 
The idea had come to me several times, but the issue of money and how I’d live always kept me from doing anything with that idea. Yet here was my family, easily fixing that problem with a solution that I never would have considered. My eyes start to well up with tears and Jude wraps his arm around me and gives me a comforting squeeze while my parents look on with wide grins. “So what do you say, Emma Jean? Gonna let your family help you out and see where this opportunity takes you?” 
My mother’s questioning words have a hint of a challenge to them, and she knows better than anyone what her children will do when challenged. With a quick nod of my head, I rise up from my seat and walk over to them as they stand up. My arms go around them both in a big hug and it doesn’t take long for my five brothers to get in on the action and we’re having one of our ridiculously huge Mosby family group hugs. 
And I know we look ridiculous because I can hear Reba and Dahlia laughing from the doorway. “I see we weren’t needed to talk some sense into her.” Before anyone can respond to her comment, I pull away from my family and dart over to Dahlia, pulling her into a firm huge. My tears finally falling from my eyes at just how overwhelmed I am. Speaking softly so that only she and maybe Reba can hear me.] Thank you so much, Dahl. I can never tell you how much you’ve helped me through all of this. [Her arms wrap around me in return and she holds tight. “I know you’ve been cursed with those silly boys, but that’s what sisters are for.” 
Her funny retort has me laughing loudly and I don’t care what Jasper is saying to my brothers about what Dahlia could have been saying, because for the first time in a long time I feel like I can truly breathe and move forward with my life with this new direction and path.]  
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