#i understand cassidy didn't want to go but you go because your girl wants to

[scribblesandsherlock]

FNAF Movie! Incorrect Quotes (Part 3)

ABBY: I wanna walk home

MIKE: I'll join you. I'm always game for a brisk walk. Also, if I leave you alone, I'm pretty sure you'll die.

***

VANESSA: So, are we friends?

MIKE: I guess.

VANESSA: You sure?

MIKE: Sure.

VANESSA: ...Should we kiss?

MIKE: No.

Because there's still a small chance they could be siblings and I like their friendship

***

MIKE: You read my journal?

ABBY: At first, I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

***

VANESSA: Have I ever let you down?

MIKE: Do you want me to answer that or should I just glare?

***

ABBY: You promised you'd stop drinking milk in the shower!

MIKE: Stop trying to change me!

***

VANESSA: If Abby jumped off a bridge, would you do the same thing?

MIKE, sighing and getting ready to jump off: Yes. She can't swim.

***

ABBY: Mike, you love me, right?

MIKE: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

***

[Shortly after what happened to Garrett]

MIKE's Teacher: You are very mature for your age.

Younger!MIKE: Thank you, it's the trauma.

***

MIKE: Everybody's tragic backstory gave them mad skills, and all I got was trust issues and anxiety.

***

CASSIDY: Are you the chosen one?

MIKE: I'm very much the guy who's here

***

DOUG: How much stuff do you need to be happy?

AUNT JANE: Gee, I don't know...how much stuff is there?

***

WILLIAM: Why do you think I'm incapable of doing anything nice?

VANESSA: Experience.

***

AUNT JANE: I love it when you get your comeuppance

MIKE: I love it when you shutuppance

***

ABBY: Hey, what does coffee taste like?

MIKE: Not as good as it smells.

ABBY: Oh, like shampoo.

***

MIKE: Why do people say, 'you'll understand better when you're older'?

MIKE: I'm older now, and I understand nothing

***

AUNT JANE: You're really aiming to be jerk of the year, huh?

MIKE: As reigning champion, are you nervous?

***

MIKE: Don't forget to take a scarf. It’s going to be pretty cold today

ABBY: I love you too.

***

VANESSA: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think, "Oh, Vanessa is such a nice girl, Vanessa is so happy-go-lucky! Vanessa can't be in a bad mood!" Well, you know what? Vanessa CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Vanessa is in a very bad mood.

***

AUNT JANE: Degenerate

MIKE: Blocked

AUNT JANE: Unblock me! I got to tell you something important!!

MIKE: Fine, unblocked

AUNT JANE: DEGENERATE!

***

ABBY: Mike won't wake up after he took those pills. What do I do now?

CASSIDY: Did you try kicking him?

ABBY: Just like you suggested

CASSIDY: Then I'm out of ideas.

***

ABBY: Hey, if you put "violently" in front of saying what you're doing, it becomes 100% funnier

VANESSA: Violently dances

MIKE: Violently sleeps

WILLIAM: Violently stabs people.

MIKE: ...Violently worries about the previous comment.

***

MIKE: I don't know about this, Abbs, it's pretty dark in there.

ABBY: Don't worry, I got this.

ABBY: *stomps her feet then her Skechers light up*

***

VANESSA, walking in: What are you doing?

MIKE: Abby's making me watch this horror film about two ex-convicts who try to rob and murder a neglected child.

*Home Alone plays on the TV in the background*

***

AUNT JANE: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee

DOUG, internally: If I were your husband, I'd drink it

***

[When Vanessa was a kid]

WILLIAM: *sharpens knife* We got ways of making you talk.

VANESSA:

WILLIAM: *cuts piece of cake*

VANESSA: ...can I have some?

WILLIAM: Cake is for talkers.

***

ABBY, at 3 a.m.: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, then that means you're a chicken tender

MIKE, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling:

***

[Basically, the career counselor scene]

WILLIAM: I can excuse killing children, but I draw the line at not being able to hold a job

MIKE: You can excuse killing children...?!

***

#josh hutcherson #mike schmidt #mike schmidt fnaf #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie #mike and abby schmidt #incorrect fnaf quotes #incorrect quotes #william afton #abby schmidt #vanessa afton #vanessa shelly #aunt jane #Doug

[peabrainedraccoonlady]

Overwatch Headcanons (based on the canon lore and several in-game events and things) that I really want to be true.

A lot of it is Junkers, sorry.

~~~~~

☆ Ever since April Fools, I love the thought that Roadhog watches 'mom shows.' (Oprah, Bachelor, Bachelorette, etc.) I also love to think he gets really into it, like he's dead silent and perfectly focused on the episode or he'll mutter stuff under his breath during The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Like, "... how dare that sludge talk like that..." or "... you go girl, tell him off..."

☆ Cassidy: WHY DO YOU KEEP LOSIN YOUR KEYS, DANG NABBIT?!

Tracer: Why do you sound like a prospector when you're angry, cad flabbit?

☆ Hanzo snorts when he laughs too hard... thats it. But he'll deny it if someone hears it. Hard deny.

☆ Junkrat is the equivalent of that one guy in Ratatouille ("I killed a man, with this thumb." Can't remember his name for the life of me.) when anyone asks what happened to his finger. From 'Extreme Thumb Wrestling Gone Wrong' to the simple one answer that is 'Koalas.' No one truly knows what happened to his finger.

☆ Odessa doesn't know how to write. (Junkertown Education System.) But she does know how to draw just a bit. So when doing autographs, she doodles a tiny version of her. With little stars.

☆ Speaking of Junkertown and Australia in Overwatch, the place is basically like Mad Max and Fallout had a baby. Even Junkrat sees the difference between normal dirt and radioactive dirt. And thats just facts. If you look at the Junkertown map, you'll understand what I mean.

☆ Sombra was an orphan, she hadn't felt a familial bond until Sigma. Come on, the man is like a science dad. He has that energy. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't see him as family. Sigma is the only (from my current research (not counting Doomfists 'jefe.' Jefe justs means boss.)) one that has a consistent nickname that translates (sorry if its wrong) to 'Old Man.'

☆ Moira knows how to dance every single anime dance... no no no, you don't understand. Every. Single. One. Will she ever show it? No. Definitely not.

☆ Tracer has adhd. Not because of her ability. That's a stupid reason. It's cause she just... seems like she does you know?

☆ Junkrat actually has a love of singing. As shown in the random chatter he has and the interactions with Lucio, Jamie likes to sing. Although, from when he's demonstrating to Lucio, it kinda seems like he's nervous. The "Sausage Roll and Batter Sav" tune he sings isn't bad. He's just a silly little guy.

☆ Speaking of my favorite silly guy, Junkrat is actually smarter than people give him credit for. He can keep a conversation with Sigma, he knows Xenos Paradox, he gets Winstons Periodoc Table joke, it's just that he expresses himself differently. I mean he was theoretically raised in the radioactive outback, you're gonna wind up a bit weird. I think he partly hides his genius so no one can take advantage of it.

☆ Opposite of Junkrat, Roadhog seemingly has made friends with a lot of others. They're more willing to talk to him than the rat man. I mean, come on, Mako gets along with D.Va, Ana, Junker Queen, Kiriko (i think), and Lucio. Maybe Mercy as well, but I couldn't figure it out. I have a feeling that Roadhog thought that no one would like him cause he's scary, but everyone on the team just sees him as a gentle giant (which he honestly is, have you seen his cute little interactions and the plethora of Pachimari things he has?)

☆ Mercy really cares about those around her. So much so, that she believes (if going by some of her chatter is anything) anyone can be saved. Even Widowmaker. I'm guessing from what she had done with Genji, she had proved to herself that she could save anyone.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch headcanons #cole cassidy #overwatch junkrat #junkertown #ow junkrat #overwatch cole cassidy #moira o'deorain #ow moira #hhhhhhh too many damn tags #olivia colomar #overwatch sombra #ow sombra #overwatch tracer #junker queen #odessa stone #hanzo shimada #overwatch hanzo

[majormeilani]

Drops your door holding wormy and the horror film person holds yhrm like a wanted poster and grabs you puts you under investigation

> 12 , 15 , 23 , 9 , 7 go.

*cracks knuckles* this might get a lil lengthy but. let's GOOO-

for wormie:

12. where does your character's name come from?

if we're talking in her story, her name came from snatcher. when she defrosted from her containment in ice from the kingdom's freeze over, snatcher noticed that she had a glowstick hung around her neck and it was able to glow again. (which is something that can actually happen if you freeze one irl!!!!) so at first, he named her "glow" because she couldn't recall her name when he asked for it. she also had an affinity a worm on a string toy he found and started calling her "glow worm" most times she goes by wormie. snatcher also often gives her glowsticks too to keep her happy.

as far as why I personally chose that name for her, i can't recall the specific reason i ultimately chose that name aside from it aligning with aspects of her design. since she has a very glowy aesthetic and her hair was meant to look like worms on a string. also bc i wanted it to fit her personality, given she's like a scene kid in a way lol.

her name before her death was "ella" because it's meant to somewhat reference the name cinderella, which snatcher calls her once when a party outfit she has gets destroyed.

15. what are your character's opinions on Mustache Girl and/or her motives?

wormie would probably want to be mu's friend but if she labelled her as a bad guy for hurting her friend's feelings on accident, she might think of her as a meanie. but i think wormie would also somewhat understand mu's motives or feelings of being lonely. but once mu starts taking over the planet wormie might think of her as a "big meanie!!" for trapping people she regards as friends.........

23. how does your oc feel about the nyakuza?

wormie would probably be so excited to see them and be like "OH EM GEE!! KITTIES!!!" and she would float around the metro after them and maybe try to pet or play with them. she'd also probably love the metro for its glow and neon-ness.

9. does your oc know any of the main cast?

she is very familiar with the residents of subcon, namely snatcher since she's considered one of his minions/dwellers. when it comes to the rest of the planet, she knows a few who have wandered into the forest but she always tries to make friends everywhere that she goes.

7. how would you character feel in alpine?

wormie would probably be enchanted with the colors and sights of alpine. she would pet the goats and play games with the nomads. i have always thought of wormie visiting the twilight bell and feeling rather......... at home... there.

for cassidy:

12. where does your character's name come from?

for cassidy's name i can't remember why i chose the name cassidy to represent him? i guess for some reason the name really stuck in my mind when i heard it and typically i name my characters the first thing that comes to mind. i also decided to give him a name-name rather than following the vague naming convention most in-game characters do. if he didn't have an actual name, he'd probably be named "the hotelier," which is what you call someone who runs a hotel, which he does.

the name he has in-storywise with his character, the name he goes by is actually his last name, which he prefers over his first name. his first name is actually "paris" but he isn't as fond of it and in a sense is trying to reclaim the name he was given by his parents, since their surname is the name of the hotel anyway. the name paris comes from mice and i joking about this song called "paris & nicole" fitting the duo's vibes. (the duo being her ahit oc nicole and cassidy)

15. what are your character's opinions on Mustache Girl and/or her motives?

cassidy doesn't really consider mu to be all that much of a threat at first and kinda gets where she's coming from. but once he's accused of being a bad guy he kinda grows a grudge against her. he likes to portray himself to be perfect and wonderful and being recognized and perceived for his flaws can set him off, and for mu to see through that would anger him.

23. how does your oc feel about the nyakuza?

i think cassidy has met them once or twice when they've taken up residence in his hotel. i think he's also met with empress before and probably bought something from her jewelry store before.

9. does your oc know any of the main cast?

cassidy has met dj grooves and conductor for the first time on a red carpet meet up and at awards ceremonies. they are aware of one another but are a bit at odds for sharing a common goal. cassidy has also knows snatcher fairly "well," if breaking into his forest for movie related purposes often counts. cassidy is also familiar with many of the express owls, crows (caw agents and lil baby ones) and some of the moon penguins. he of course also has met hat kid and bow kid before as well.

everyone else he knows very vaguely, possibly even been customers at his hotels once before.

7. how would you character feel in alpine?

he probably loves alpine tbh. i do imagine he's probably been there many times before in the past and it's probably where he's met the crows and gained a lot of his employees from.

THANKSSS and thanks if you read all this PHEW.

#answered asks #anon #glow worm #wormie #cassidy the magpie #cassidy #ahit ocs #woah wormie and cassidy lore upon ye

[milquetoast-on-acid]

I keep thinking about that time that Olivia wanted to go to a Museum. And Cassidy was like Naw, that’s totally lame. When Elliot was in Italy, him and Kathy went to museums all the time. I just really want Elliot to take Olivia to some of those museums she wanted to go to.

i want this date for them.

#when they start dating #this is the date i want #i understand cassidy didn't want to go but you go because your girl wants to #even if you don't have an interest in it #you just do stuff for your s/o #and they do things for you they might not have an interest in #and idk but how do you not like museums? #elliot would totally go to a museum with olivia #he would have back in the day #i feel like the elliot that lived in italy #really got to appreciate art and history and different cultures #enough to really have a good time at the museums and art galleries #eo #bensler #olivia and elliot #elliot and olivia #elliot x olivia #olivia x elliot #law and order svu #law and order organized crime #oc #svu #cassidy #brian cassidy #olivia benson #elliot stabler #benson and stabler #elliot was no idiot but he never really got to enjoy life and learn #he got married when he was a kid and then raised five kids while working OT with his soulmate. #so he had no time to really do the whole museum thing and just enjoying life until he got out of svu

[augment-techs]

From the prompt thing you have pinned. Soulmates au where they get each other’s injuries. Connor and evil Trent

damage done to a person also translates into their soulmate’s body (cuts, bruises and all)

It shouldn't have been possible that Trent would find some company and comradery in Devin and Cassidy in his darkest hour, and yet, here he was. He'd been at Cassidy's house for the last week since his battle with the other Rangers in his suit of white, bruises that didn't hurt forming along his legs and arms and face next to the cuts and scrapes Devin kept having to bandage up while Cassidy dithered about the gem attached to his wrist and scouring the internet for every article about Angel Grove and the Space Rangers and anything else relevant that she could find. The two of them were the ones who realized that stress probably was what was setting off his transformations. Devin was actually really good at keeping things chill and quiet, regardless of Cassidy losing her shit after a run to Hayley's café and coming back to almost throttle the White Ranger harbinger when she noticed Conner had facial and arm and full body bruising in exact places Trent had but couldn't feel. Which meant she got to thinking, and noticing things, and she almost broke the windows from screaming at how Conner, Ethan, and Kira must have been Rangers, which meant Dr. Oliver must have been their leader in Black. "And I am never going to get that job in the news now," she'd sighed, like she'd get over it much like losing out on a new purse at the mall, or she'd lost an earring that was very pretty but also mass produced at Claire's. Trent had to do a double-take, letting the words process as he drank the hot chocolate the girl had brought from Hayley's while Devin gave Cassidy a neck massage and a million dollar smile letting her know how proud he was of her. * "You're...helping Hayley?" "And you," Devin replied, apathetic to Conner's look of startled understanding when the shorter boy tapped on the Red Ranger Dino gem clinging to Conner's wrist, absent and pointed and full of knowing, before handing Conner the coffee set he'd ordered for the rest of the team. When Conner's hands were full, the tray was barely felt when Devin also tapped the bruise on Conner's face that didn't hurt at all, looking cheeky and almost as devious as Cassidy on a good day, "You really gotta start paying better attention during your fights with the White Ranger. You cannot be this dumb." Then he was off at the sound of Hayley calling him over, the waiter's apron at Devin's waist being adjusted a little on his walk away, completely ignoring Conner's mouth opening and closing. A guppy beached on land struggling with its own existence. * Tommy was going to have an aneurism. Not because Cassidy had punched out Anton Mercer in the school hallway when he was in the middle of what was starting to look like a very heated, very quiet, argument--just outright sucker punching the rich man when he was completely focused on his adopted son--but because she'd taken the moment Anton hit the floor to steer Trent over to Tommy; Devin also taking the stunned silence of most of the students in the hallway to wrangle Conner, Ethan, and Kira over to Tommy as well. Then the two had shoved all five of them into the classroom Tommy had been hovering outside of, a few very pointed sentences leaving them as they locked the door and ducked back out to occupy Principal Randall yelling her way towards them. "So, Trent's dad is Mesagog--" "And he accidentally found himself with a Dino Gem that turns him evil when he's stressed out when he followed Anton through a weird portal thing--" "Mesagog wants him to join his little evil minions, even though Trent doesn't want to hurt anyone--" "And also, Trent's probably Conner's soulmate. You'll notice Trent has all the bruises he gave Conner as the White Ranger two days ago--" "Talk it out while we deal with this--" "Good luck!" The stunned silence left all of the teenagers in an absolute state of shock. Just staring at each other while Tommy took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes and trying very hard not to think about back in high school, about another duo that were a help just as much as they were a hindrance. (He was absolutely going to get drunk later.) * A pair of big, strong hands. A piano tied down to the bed of a truck. Another set of adults that had Trent's back, who asked no questions, but intrinsically knew everything. Watching the look on Dr. Oliver's face when he arrived at Cassidy's house, only to find someone he knew on the other side of the door, taller than him, less surprised about everything happening than it should have been allowed under the circumstances. But Angel Grove wasn't just home to the first Power Rangers. It was the home to the people that they'd protected and people who helped them--when they could--in their turn. "Oh, so they do know each other," Cassidy hummed under her breath, enjoying the show from her place on the couch, legs over Trent's lap and head relaxed against Devin's shoulder, chewing absently on the Smarties lollipop she'd snagged from Skull while the skinny musician helped Bulk calm down Tommy's brood that had all started freaking out; though, she supposed it wasn't every day Dr. Oliver deadass fainted, so their reactions weren't completely inappropriate. "Was there ever any doubt?" Devin queried, absently looking up from his laptop and pointing Ethan in the direction of Cass's kitchen to fill a water glass to splash in Tommy's face while Conner and Kira dragged the unconscious teacher into the house; Bulk and Skull bemused at the teens not letting them help--the guy weighed practically nothing, Bulk could probably just lift him like potatoes and drop him on the couch, but no, the Red and Yellow Dino Rangers were too protective for their own good. But it was whatever; Skull still needed to move the piano they'd dragged along into Cass's garage with his kid still napping strapped to his back like a koala, and Bulk still had to bring in their luggage; Tommy freaking out over familiar faces he hadn't seen since high school wasn't as big an issue as settling in and lulling Conner into a false sense of security before they had The Shovel Talk with the Red Ranger about his newfound soulmate in Trent. (And wasn't that just a kick in the head; Cassidy had only introduced her cousin and his best friend-platonic soulmate to Trent a week ago, explained what was happening in Reefside, told them that she really needed an adult in the house to help out so there wouldn't be too much attention drawn to Dr. Oliver and six of his students being seen at the Cornells--and what happened? He was suddenly under the protection of Farkas Bulkmeier, who ran a dojo/youth center in Panorama City with who Trent would find out later to be Dr. Oliver's Pink Ranger ex-girlfriend; and Eugene Skullovitch, whom Trent knew for a fact Kira had a huge celebrity crush on since he'd been crushing the Indie-rock circuit.) Trent had been ignoring the insidious feelings that arose often, and sometimes with fierce consequences, from his own Dino Gem, but Dr. Oliver had insisted on coming to check out Trent's living situation and run some basic scan over the device attached to Trent's wrist at the first opportunity since Cassidy and Devin had made it pretty clear to Anton Mercer that Trent wasn't coming home until he "got his act together" and proved himself to be a better father. Trent was pretty good at ignoring the voice in his head that sounded totally like the White Ranger, often and almost completely... But he still took the opportunity when nobody but Devin and Cassidy were looking to take out his phone and get a recording of Conner bent almost all the way over, flicking water from the glass Ethan held into Dr. Oliver's face; all three of the primary Colors looked ridiculous and this was only a tiny bit of chaos if Trent decided to use this to his own ends at some point. (Mostly he--and the White Ranger in his head--wanted live footage of Conner's butt in jeans that looked infinitely better than the uniform he often wore for sports and most of the rest of his life.)

#ask fill #power ranger dino thunder #Mighty Morphin Comics #boom! comics power rangers #mmpr #ggpr #conner mcknight #trent fernandez-mercer #trent x conner #cassidy cornell #devin de valle #farkas bulk bulkmeier #eugene skull skullovitch #tommy oliver #soulmates au

[theangrypokemaniac]

Ma and Pa James's Second Biggest Fan (we plough a lonely furrow) continues to find Ma Jess's appeal mystifying, since everything about her is negative:

1. Signing up for Team Rocket suggests someone of a morally dubious character to start with, but the truth lies in the clothing, and she's in black!

Black!

It's code for her personality:

• Jessie wears white:

Pure, beautiful, innocent, sweet-natured, not really bad, dealt a severe hand in life but a fighter.

• Cassidy wears black:

EVIL!!! EVIL, EVIL, EEEEEEVUL!!! FOUL SIRENIC TEMPTRESS!!! EVIL HEARTLESS BITCH STEALING JAMES'S NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN WEEPINBELL!!!

Speaking of which:

2. She was Madame Boss's best agent.

You don't get there being kind.

To reach that standing requires hundreds of successful heists, and we aren't talking nicking gold bars. It's living things.

How many Pokémon do you imagine she stole with merciless efficiency?

How many children did she set upon, pinching every animal they had?

How many innocent lives did she ruin by depriving kids of the pets they loved, never to see them again, eaten away with the not-knowing and the false hope?

The glory of her reign ran on the fuel of blood and tears.

What fate do you envision awaited those Pokémon? It's not exchanging one master for another, it's entering slavery.

Jessie and James aren't the epitome of Team Rocket. They are minnows on the outskirts, despised and mocked by most of their fellow members. The actual group isn't particularly famous for prioritizing Pokémon welfare.

The preferable outcome is being handed out to agents to help catch other victims. Otherwise it's transformation into a war machine, forced to fight on and on to the point of exhaustion and death, no doubt tortured and tested on to boot.

What happens if they don't come up to scratch or are pushed for years until too aged and broken to be of any use? Are Team Rocket ready to pension them off to animal sanctuary?

As if. It's euthanasia or on to the streets to waste away, if not fed to the strongest first.

Ma Jess knew this and worse occurred thanks to her, yet paid it no mind, and felt not a single twinge of guilt in that time of service, then met her end trying to draw another Pokémon into imprisonment.

Some might say it was a case of what goes around, comes around. As her behaviour led to God knows how many Pokémon dying alone, leaving their loved ones to wonder and grieve, so in turn did she die alone in the snow, and Jessie had to carry on without her.

I'm not against Ma Jess, I neither feel like or dislike, but I don't understand how so many fans can happily overlook her murky past of inflicting pain, instead elevating her to a semi-divine tragic heroine, yet apparently Ma and Pa's heinous offences of not stealing and treating Pokémon well are beyond forgiveness.

3. It's the Red Ribbon Army! Save yourselves!

Jessie joined Team Rocket to follow in Ma's footsteps. James went with her. Both moved (upwardly in scale, downwardly in morals) from Sunny Town's gang of petty thief kids to a complex Mafia organisation stretching its wriggling tentacles around the world to crush the air from its lungs.

Why? Ma Jess's baleful influence led the two down that path.

Of course Jessie wants to copy Ma, how and where else can she feel close to her?

There's not even a grave to visit!

Rising in the ranks and Giovanni's favour is both to strike it rich and take her place, becoming Ma in essence. That would make her proud, which is all Jessie ever wanted.

What alternative is there? Stay with Chopper and Tyra forever, ekeing an existence pickpocketing and shoplifting, until mortality comes calling sooner than is welcome, or get loaded quickly and retire early?

James theoretically could've gone home at this point, but when it came to which angry redhead he preferred to beat him up, he chose Jessie.

He was henceforth obliged to go whenever she led, even if it meant following the ghost of her mother into the jaws of evil.

They have an excuse, but what was Ma's for getting involved?

However much they boast and revel in their wickedness, the motto proves the couple still believe themselves on a noble quest, despite everything to the contrary, and why?

Jessie isn't about to accept that Ma Jess, whom she's probably idolized as one of few people to love her and a role model of how a woman should be, was nasty or unpleasant. If she was in Team Rocket, it must be good, whatever the outer appearance.

Except Jessie and James are bad at being bad. They are not master criminals. All their plans fail, rendering them poor and starving in consequence. The inner circle of Team Rocket will always be barred to them because they lack the inner darkness it requires.

The joke is they flourish in any other occupation, whether that be Salon Rocquet, reporters, or flogging merchandise and food at the League. If employed elsewhere they'd be better off, but they have to stay because Jessie can't let go, or bear the thought she might be a disappointment to her mother's name. A different career looks unworthy by comparison.

What, so Ma and Pa have got no son because of Ma Jess? They just wanted him to be a gentleman!

If she hadn't set such a terrible example to her daughter she might have an increased quality of life, but then had she done so Ma wouldn't be dead in the first place.

4. Can't pick 'em can she?

What was it that first attracted Ma to Windy Miller? Does she go for the rustic charm, or the promise of a lifetime's supply of bread to feed the abundance of babies planned?

Don't do it, Ma! He's an alky!

Some birds are like that you see. It's the maternal instinct gone haywire. They find a local reprobate and somehow decide he's really a damaged soul crying out for love, the scapegoat of a cruel society.

He's not evil, he's just misunderstood!

This is why you get nutters wanting to marry the Yorkshire Ripper: they put his 'mischief' down to bad women mistreating his gentle heart, but they of course are devoted to his happiness. They can change him.

You don't know him like I do!

In their fantasy, under the influence of a 'proper' woman he'll transform in to a flower-picking hippie, but not too much, they still like him to be dangerously 'manly' (keeps 'em on their toes), then they can feel smugly superior and more truly female than the 'lesser' breed who failed to tame his sexy pashuns.

And if there's one thing Windy has in abundance, it's raw animal magnetism.

Stop it, Ma! You can't help those who don't want helping!

She put up with the boozing, the flour dust and his somewhat limited communication skills, but what really let him down was the company he kept.

Ever after she would insist Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub led him astray. That's firemen for yer.

Cuthbert? That name's died out.

Sure enough, some point after Ma Jess was stuffed up the spout, old Windy legged it back to Camberwick Green, like the rascal he is, and not a sweet penny piece did she receive in maintenance, the bastard.

At least Ma James got pregnant by a man who stood by her.

She wasn't married to Windy Miller!

Oh, you mean they were living over the brush? I see.

It's all in your head!

Do it my way, and we have Pa Jess. Do it yours, and we're back to a cavernous emptiness. Unless you can supply a picture of the 'real' (pffft) Pa Jess, this is the best available.

Anyway, 'Jessie Miller' just sounds right.

Coincidence? I think not.

5. She went to look for Mew dressed like this.

I could forgive it had she gone in her normal uniform, that's just whimsy, but to have made some effort emphasises that it's not enough!

Some part of her understood a mountain might be a bit parky out, but this was deemed sufficient coverage!

What happened?

She bloody died didn't she?!

6. Ma Boss points the way to doom.

Ma Jess was at least loyal to the mistress she served, but it was a wasted dedication. She squandered her life obeying a heartless virago who could cast aside apparently valued staff without a qualm, whatever thanks she owed them.

The millions Ma Jess accumulated for Madame are probably uncountable, yet she was so worthless that, when dispatched to the mountain, on her own, expected to catch a Legendary Pokémon, by herself, which many doubted even existed, and wasn't likely to come quietly, or put up with orders, but then didn't come back, Madame Boss allowed her only child to sink into poverty and the infamous 'care' of the State.

Everyone knows what goes on there. Entering a home has replaced the workhouse as the place of dread.

Jessie might have been killed or attacked and it didn't remotely concern Madame Boss, unwilling to spare a meagre fraction of her massive fortune to give the girl she made an orphan any comfort or security.

What did she matter? Her mother failed. Why reward that?

In her turn, Jessie became just as obsequious to an undeserving master, who went further than his mama and actively tried to murder her, and still she suffers to please him.

Team Rocket devoured her mother, and now it's swallowed her.

Oh, and Madame Boss got her way upon discovering Mew's fossil, so Ma Jess died for nothing.

7. This.

I'm not surprised Mew wouldn't go with Ma. She probably sensed the vivisection awaiting, and didn't give a toss about the avalanche in revenge.

Mew hasn't got where she is today falling for any old shallow promises from a stranger, thank you.

Suppose the mission had worked, with Mew caught and gift wrapped for Madame's delectation: what then?

Perhaps Mew's power, proving so impressive, would've pushed any cloning scheme aside, leaving Mewtwo unborn and Mew as the mightiest weapon. Or in greed Madame Boss demands more, and in arrogance the scientists promise the earth, the seas and the heavens.

Mew I could see subjected to some non-lethal form of dissection, just to understand how she ticked, that is if they could build the cage to hold her.

As they couldn't, and catching Mew was never a possibility, then Ma Jess's sacrificed herself on a fool's errand, which was obviously one from the outset. If Mew was easy to handle she'd have been captured long before now.

Either Ma dies, Mew's safe, but Madame Boss starts the cloning scheme anyway, or Ma's victorious, Mew is a tool of Team Rocket and the scientists have more sample to experiment upon. Mewtwo is still made, alongside short-lived creations and dozens of unseen freakish abominations preceding.

Now Mewtwo isn't what you call at peace with himself, nor has he received a particularly wholesome experience. One could think Ma indirectly caused that. Her branch of the project may have fizzled to cinders but she still played her role.

What would her legacy have been but to help bring forth the being that wiped out mankind? Where's the future for Jessie when there isn't one?

It's not her fault, but she died in the name of cloning a biological disaster, the creation of synthetic life leading to the destruction of it all.

8. Let's have a gander at Ma in the anime:

• Can afford rent.

• Can afford a tray.

• Can afford crockery.

• Can afford condiments to add flavour to food.

• Can't afford any actual food.

Something's wrong there.

I intended to include affording clothes too, but now I'm not so sure.

I never took Ma to be a brown-all-over kind of woman. At least she gave the fancy stuff to Jessie.

For years I've assumed she wore a brightly coloured jacket, but now I suspect it's a red one heavily patched up, because buying a replacement isn't an option.

Really old clothes are being mended with whatever can be salvaged from even more worn-out clobber.

Best agent Madame Boss has and she's practically living in her own filth.

Team Rocket takes care of its own, eh?

Oh no, let's not get a proper job, one that allows me to provide for my daughter and doesn't ask for my life. Let's stay in this one!

9. Look at Jessie's face!

By her own admission, being tricked into eating snow is the best thing that ever happened to her during an 'otherwise wretched childhood', to the extent she doesn't know it was wrong!

I don't hear Ma and Pa doing that. The only ice James got was an ice-cream sandwich.

What kind of infancy did Ma Jess give the girl for her to be nostalgic about almost dying of malnutrition?

If we say that's a foster mother as in the sub, it means Jessie's fondest memory is after Ma died, which is too brutal for me.

Yeah, thank goodness she's snuffed it.

You think Ma might have taught her not to eat snow! She left her so ill-prepared!

Consequently the sub version makes Ma Jess an awful creature, although I don't see why that Jessie would so desire to mimic a mom she apparently doesn't care about.

10. She's not even bloody here!

I have no picture to signify absence, therefore I must show whom she left behind.

Ma Jess is Pokémon's answer to Bobba Fett: background figure, barely involved, no information, dies early, yet became a fan favourite nevertheless.

If nothing really exists, what is there to like? Why are you contented weaving smoke?

When Rocketshippers put forward the manga as proof, the Anti-Ships used to insist that it 'didn't count' for being set in a 'separate universe'.

If that still goes, and only the contents of the anime apply to the anime, well then it's bye-bye to Ma Jess and Madame Boss, because they aren't real either.

I sometimes think that's true. However traumatic, would Jessie not have acknowledged her mother by now otherwise?

We grasp the characters all had two parents in a nebulous fashion, although not being real people means they don't 'technically' need them, but Ma Jess is the only one who vanished to be granted a face. Why is she then ignored?

She's briefly glimpsed in a passing scene of a single episode of the first series and is never seen or referenced again. The sub doesn't even have that. Where was the use in creating her if only to leave that thread of the tale billowing in the breeze?

We may decide her actions affect Jessie's but we're only imprinting assumptions. She might as well have remained unwritten for all that's made of her.

What we can glean doesn't bode well, irrespective of things left unmentioned.

Her one redeeming deed was dying, thus at least she didn't choose to abandon Jessie. We may presume she'd have stayed with her girl given the chance.

By my reckoning that puts her as Fifth-Best Mother Of Pokémon, behind Ma Brock, Ma James, Dame Ketchum and Ma Boss, in that order.

Then they're those who claim she never died, so she just pissed off like everyone else, rendering her devoid of a single positive quality.

This is the woman you sigh and agonise over for decades.

Ma and Pa are right there, man! Show 'em some love!

#team rocket #ma jessie #jessie's mom #jessie #jessie's dad #madame boss #mewtwo #kanto #snow way out! #the birth of mewtwo