Tumgik
#i uhh had a mini breakdown kinda
onejellyfishplease · 6 months
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Jelly, help, I’m already letting this au consume me LOL
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K so translating my notes(cause my writing sucks) and then a breakdown of each doodle. This is just some ‘testing the waters’ doodles to see what ideas I like and what I don’t.
This isn’t actually finished yet, but I ended up loving the Sketchpage that I wanted to show, so here we are lol
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“Lantern/light clan cult gang thing, tried to get Donnie to join by sending an oozesquito after him.”
So yeah, there’s a gang of moths that worship light and they wanted somebody smart in their ranks. They wanted Donnie to join because he was known all over the hidden city for his intelligence during the krang invasion. They uhh… They kinda kidnap him during a mission ig lol. He escapes but not before getting turned partially into a moth. They weren’t really as smart so they didn’t even think that maybe the mutation would only take partial transformation so uhhh mission failed-
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“Tiny hairs as per many insects”
I liked your idea of the hairs that allow Donnie’s hands to stick to stuff, so it was kind of a no brainer to add that here too, since moths stick to stuff all the time.
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“Common Crimson & Gold Moth (an attempt at keeping sorta purple colors)”
Yeah no, it’s more red and gold than anything but dang these things are pretty. Could be a nice design.
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“Luna Moth (mostly here for the green, but an iconic moth too)”
Yeah, I wanted a nice green match for the wings as a potential option too, and I also figured when you think of moths, a lot of people think of Luna moths.
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“White Ermine Moth (fluffy Dalmatian vibes)”
Kinda thrown in for the recognizable reason again, since a lot of people tend to think immediately of fluffy snowy white moths like white ermine moths or poodle moths.
I kinda like the first two a bit better tho, ngl.
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“Eyes go black when pissed or scared?”
Yeah, so, I had an idea where his eyes would invert so his eyes were black with white pupils, but I kinda dropped that idea, but then I picked it up again and thought maybe his eyes look more moth-like when really stressed or enraged or smth?
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“So meticulous but I love the detail ngl…”
“Mini moth man”
So yeah, I learned I liked the more meticulous antenna style. Also yeah, even if I don’t use it I’m totally making a Mothman version of him lol
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“Smth like this ig??”
Me trying to figure out the wings and she’ll mix. I had the idea that the wings would sprout out from inside, sorta like your idea ngl, but I think it’d be less like… Under, and more through, so the wings would kind of be impossible to hide at that point.
“Donnie Day 1
‘Everything’s fine ✨’
‘W a t ?’”
“Donnie Day 5
‘isaideverythingsfine~’
‘Wat.’”
A stupid silly comic I made for an idea I had where Donnie starts out kinda like a moth caterpillar, looking and feeling normal, but the more days that go by the bigger his wings and antenna grow, becoming impossibly to hide, and he just can’t really pretend that he’s a full turtle anymore lol
Also definitely not motivated by me wanting to implement an idea about how apparently the reasons you get holes in your clothes is because caterpillars are eating through it (and not fully grown moths usually) so maybe he’d be hoodie biting excessively during that time lol
I have a few more snippets only written on Google docs right now but gosh I am loving this au, I totally see the fun of formation swapping Donnie now LOL
Eventually, all the important info will be on one sheet though (hopefully) and I’ll tag you then about it lol
OMG i actually love this so much!
i love how the transformation is a slow one.
And he eats his clothes as a nervous habit??? love it. glorius. amazing.
Also the eyes going black? that would be so creepy to see, it would definitely terrify villians. and his brothers (the first few times lol)
AND HES FLUFFY AHHHHH
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leviathancries · 2 months
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existential hymns for the average sigma [vol. 9]
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[DUCKBOY] (2023)
Ohh yeaaaah! It's that time again. A new Ruby solo project. Ruby (DUCKBOY) sinking his fangs back into pop punk rock and goin' crazy doing it...
Track 1: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"5-0-4-5-9-5-9-5-9 is no available"
Another day another voicemail. Keeping with his missed calls and phones theme, this mini album also starts off with a dial tone. It also has the same name as the intro track from his 1st mini album.
Track 2: EXCALIBUR
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHO I AM!"
youtube
Fucking love this song honestly... Ruby starts this project off so strong. Super catchy hook, catchy riff and a good range of vocals. This ballad is powerful and raw. It's the best song from the album in my honest opinion. (music video just came out a couple days ago and it's really fucking cool.)
Track 3: where y'at, duckboy?
"goodevening"
Following the same formula of the 1st album, track 3 is an interlude titled "where y'at, duckboy?" This ones... uhh. I dunno. Interesting? It's pretty simple. Just a mish-mash of missed calls and voicemails.
Track 4: I Was a Teenage Nihilist
"Open up your mind you fucking cyclops. Take a sip"
Yeah!!! This is what im FUCKING TALKING ABOUT! This song is fast, memorable and snappy. Clocking in at just a minute and thirty seconds. It comes in swinging with those pop punk almost djent sounding guitars. Also really like the reference to $UICIDEBOY$ in this song.
Track 5: where y’at, duckboy​??
"I love you, you're my cousin, um..."
This is a good interlude. It gives us a little peek behind the scenes of Ruby, Scrim and the $UICIDEBOY$. This interlude is a voicemail of Scrim trying to smooth out an argument or disagreement him and Ruby must have had.
Track 6: Pearls Are Just Oyster Puke
"THE WAY THAT YOU TREAT ME... IS WORSE THAN A RABID DOG."
This song is the most punk-rock song on this album. A classic punk rhythm thuds as Ruby screams. what I like most about this song is the breakdown, it's super raw. I know for a fact Ruby is a big fan of the band Rancid (a classic early 90's punk rock band) and I can really feel the influence with this song.
Track 7: where y'at, duckboy???
"If you or a loved one is suffering from drug abuse or addiction please give us a call back. Thank you and have a blessed day. Bye."
The third interlude on the album. Another voicemail... Not much else to say.
Track 8: Heroin As a Recreational Activity
"my temptations, they taste so sweet. I got cavities rotting my teeth."
Mhmmmm, this one is another punk-rock song. Well kinda. It's still more pop-punk. I guess somewhere in the middle? Love this one. There's something about when he says "Your hissing tongue has licked me ~for the last fucking time~" just sounds so satisfying. But anyway. Another catchy ballad. Man never fucking misses. I also really like the chorus on this song. The way the whole song slows down into the breakdown/chorus is so dope. I really wish more songs did this to be honest.
Overview: existential hymns for the average sigma [vol. 9]
Again, exactly like I said in the conclusion for tragic love songs, I know I have been glazing ruby the whole damn time. But shit, its hard not to. He's one of the most talented versatile artists at the moment. Everything he does he seems to do effortlessly. Whether its scream rapping or a post pop-punk tragic love ballad.
All that being said. Like my previous conclusion. It's short. Like really short. An album that's 12 isn't really an album. It's an EP.
I can't wait for his next tape or the next $UICIDEBOY$ tape. Thanks 4 reading!
Rating: 8/10
If there’s any typos or inconsistencies in this review it’s because I can’t be bothered to proof read it.
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starship-suggestion · 3 years
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sometimes you just yearn to be subsumed into the machinery again. to feel the comfortingly constant pull of the cables where they sink into your skin. to give up only the parts of your free will that cause you conflict.
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in-superbloom · 3 years
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did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)
right where you left me: prologue
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pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)
warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!
author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)
another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3
credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.
i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚
@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤
i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡
let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡
word count: 4.1k
☆☆☆
Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.
Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.
Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.
Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.
As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).
When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.
Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can���t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.
Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?
The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).
Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.
She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.
Alright, someone's in a mood.
Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.
“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.
Still, no reaction.
That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.
When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.
Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.
“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”
Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.
“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.
Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.
“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.
Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.
A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.
“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.
“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.
Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.
While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.
This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?
She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.
The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.
She knows what's wrong with it now.
It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.
Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?
☆ ☆ ☆
Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.
The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.
“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.
That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.
It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.
That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.
As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.
Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.
While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.
So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.
Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.
He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.
Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.
He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.
Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.
Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.
Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.
Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.
A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.
“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.
Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.
“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.
“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”
Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.
“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”
“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.
“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.
“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”
“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.
“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”
Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.
Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?
Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.
God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.
Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.
Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.
Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.
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Note
Do all the numbers you coward
– disclaimer: i did this at like late at night o’clock, while trying to avoid my fourth breakdown that hour. and i didn’t have my glasses on. so . if there’s any spelling errors that i didn’t catch, let me know.–
ok cool. imma just pick a post and go at it then.
1. what colour are you’re eyes?
Usually they’re like a green/brown ig?
2. do you like your name? why?
Yes, I love my name. I picked it myself with the help of some of my friends. It comes from a couple different book characters who are both super strong physically and emotionally and they’re honestly an inspiration to me.
3. what is your relationship status?
…. single as fuck man. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is sweet and not pushy and bigger than me so I can steal his hoodies and be swamped in them??
4. describe your personality in 3 words or less
“another fucking breakdown??”
5. what colour hair do you have?
currently a really gross red, (well I think it’s gross but i just don’t like reds) but on Thursday I finally re-dye it and im gonna go green!!
6. how would you describe your style?
either I pull smth out of the drawer in the morning and hope it goes together, or I spend three weeks planning it.
7. what size bed do you have?
P sure it’s a queen? my dog manages to take up half of it and he’s the size of a bread loaf.
8. any siblings?
Ye, two half sisters!! 
9. favourite t.v. show?
The Umbrella Academy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. describe your dream date
uhhhhh, smth outside? like a picnic. at night, but with plenty of lights. and star gazing!!!! bc spACE!!!
11. what colour socks are you wearing?
uh… one crew that’s white and purple and one ankle that blue and white…. 
12. how many pillows do you sleep with?
trick question!! I don’t sleep with pillows. I use throw/travel blankets and stuffed animals. I do have two pillows on my bed, but they’re for my dog to sleep on.
13. do you have a job? what do you do?
I do! I just started a week or so ago and I make drinks! ISTG IF SOMEONE ORDERS ONE MORE GODDAMN MINI SLUSHI IM GONNA KILL A MAN.
14. how many friends do you have?
hhhhh, i think i have abt 0. but in reality i probably have 10ish actual friends?
15. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?
I’ve done plenty of shitty things but im not in a good place to answer this one rn.
16. what’s your favourite candle scent?
Another trick question! i despise candles and nearly anything that has a smell. good or bad.
17. three favourite boy names?
Klaus bc my boiiiiiiiiii
Ethan istg anyone i know irl brings this up you will regret it
Ashton
18. three favourite girl names?
ooooo boyyy,
Claire
Isabella (spanish pronounciation obv)
Vanya bc yk i had to make another reference but also it’s rlly pretty and just look at it!!
19. who is your celebrity crush?
ik it’s basic but cole sprouse is the first one that comes to mind.
20. do you read a lot? what’s you favourite book?
yes I read all the time bc reADING IS GOOD @dodo-likes-to-tumbl
my favourite book is probably Six of Crows.
21. top 10 favourite songs?
hhhooooohhhhhhhhkkkayyyyy not really any particular order:
1) Istanbul by They Might be Giants
2) Roaring 20s by P!atD
3) I Wait by Day6
4) Monster by EXO
5) Choke by IDKHBTFM
6)Tempo by EXO
7) Awkward Silence by Stray Kids
8) Chained Up by VIXX
9) Singularity by BTS
10) Get Cool by Stray Kids
22.  What is your biggest fear?
another one that im not able to answer at this time.
23. What’s your go to hairstyle/
Literally don’t have one. I get out of bed, get dressed, and go to school. I don’t do anything.
24. who is your role model?
Idk. I don’t really have one. I really look up to my sister, Ella, a lot. 
25. what was the last compliment you received?
idk, the most recent one I remember was my moms friends mom was going on about my hair colour even though I hate it and we were literally standing by the hair dye in walmart looking at new colours when she walked up and interrupted.
26. What was the last text you sent?
Confirming smth for a talent show group im gonna be a part of.
27. How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? (if this is a shock or a spoiler for you, you’re either wayyy too young for this site or wayy too stupid) 
I was probably about 5 or 6? I had a lot of cousins who were older than me who liked to spoil things. I was able to convince my parents I still believed until I was about 11 tho.
28. what is your dream job?
Dream job? I thought I’d be dead in the trunk of a car by now!!
not really, but uhh idk
29. how many pictures do you have on your phone?
Idfk? five years worth ig?
30. have you ever peed in the woods?
Wtf kinda question is this? but yeah when I was younger. like 4-7 ish maybe?
31. Do you still watch cartoons?
Tbh not nearly as often as I’d like. I love Gravity Falls and I wanna get into Steven Universe, though from what I’ve seen it’s not a cartoon it’s art. 
32. Favourite dipping sauce?
no
33. What do you wear to bed?
Sweat pants and a hoodie
34. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Nah mate. I can’t spell for shit.
35. what are your hobbies?
crying in the dark instead of doing my hw.
36. tea or coffee?
yes
37. are you going to change your last name when you get married?
hah “when”! idk if I do get married I’ll probably hyphenate or steal my sisters idea and do some sort of mash up of the last names, kinda like a ship name.
38.  do you believe in ghosts?
meh
39. what’s your biggest pet peeve?
People
40. the last person you called?
I facetimed @panickingposters
41. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?
hah GAY
42.  what shirt are you wearing?
damn another trick question! I’m wearing my PFTW Tour hoodie.
43. what is your phone background?
lock screen is FoB lyrics - “ I love the world, i just don’t love the way it makes me feel”
and home screen is a space edit of the trans flag.
44. do you like it when ppl play with your hair?
As long as they do it right @goodmorningchicago
45. have you ever been drunk?
no but i wish i was
46. favourite lyrics rn?
“Like awkward silence..
caw
caw
caw”
47. summer or winter?
autumn
48. day or night?
sleep during the day, everything else at night
49. dark, milk or white chocolate?
k first of all? white chocolate isn’t even fucking chocolate. so that ones out.
second, milk chocolate is just sugar and milk. also out
Dark it is!!
50. who was the last person you cried in front of?
My therapist earlier today
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stan-and-the-newbie · 6 years
Text
A kpop newbie’s reaction to BLACKPINK
Alexa: bold Alex: italic
today you are reacting to... BlackPink!
o damn, are you sure this band isn’t your favourite?
pFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT-  ok, good one, anyway this is them :3
((she tried sending me a picture but it didn’t work))
awh come oN
~ technical difficulties, please stand by ~
dfgfd shhhHhhHhH i know wot im doin smdh. this is alreaDY GOING BADLY
...should i just google them?
its okay, i got it. this is them
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o damn. they're very pretty, but that was to be expected
yep.. so what concept do you think they have? lol as if it isnt obvious
idk man three of them are giving me death glares. uhh black? and pink?
tbh,,,,,they have the girl crush concept, like, theyre all badass and stuff
oh, well that’s..  interesting
i cant believe im letting you edit this post..  anyway, opinion on them? they dont look that similar, thank god
well the red-haired one i like the most so far since she doesn't look like she wants to choke me (and not in the kinky way)
fgjgfghj yes i see
the one wearing the 2b outfit is probably your goth waifu
omf
and the pink(TM) one looks like she's the sugar mommy of the group
m o o d
i'm guessing she's the leader? it could just be the thanos throne
they dont really have a leader..  this is also them
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ah, lovely, a picture where they don't look like they want to murder me
yes, finally
a bunch of talented asian cuties, wot is new
to be honesT. i'll start with the first one from the second picture
alrighty
her stage name is rose
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the first two from left to right are the prettiest imo
o rlly
i'm gonna get lynched alive for saying that, aren’t i
so, opinion?
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she's uhhh 23? and a singer, and she's the goofy one
well youre right about her being a singer..  shes 21, and yes, she is pretty goofy. she is fluent in english because she is australian
n i c e
this is her kickin everyone's ass 
((Then she showed me this video))
i-
skinny legend
and they said infinity war was the most ambitious crossover... asian idols wearing brazilian carnival outfits as some dude sings that song from shrek 2? sign me tf up
LMAOO gee her voice still gives me chills rose step on me
alexa that's lewd, let us move on swiftly
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sorry i just like her shes also a good dancer
i'm guessing she's gonna be my favourite
o
english speaking idols get bonus points, and she seems to excel at everything else, so...
yes, she is amazing. oh, she also cried over her fish's death
;-; oof
:( bless her anyway, you have any questions?
nop, she's gucci, let us proceed
right, the next one is jisoo
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she's a qt ;; she looks like a dork i want to shake her hand and give her a hug
this is her smiling
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i-
see thats the heart smile
is she the radiance? because my retinas are burned
SDFGFDSADFG MOOD
literally no one is gonna get that joke
wat if they do?
then they are people of culture
opinion?
uhh, she is the soft one, and.. she's short because why not, and she's 22 and she sings ;; 
o- i mean, she isnt really tall, but she isnt that short. yes, she is a singer, the oldest, 23 y/o and she is a goofball, a derp. very entertaining tbh
she looks adorable and has a cute name and is a goofy dork god bless
all of them are good at english but her. but she Tries- and is confused.  
o o f
tis a baby
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she deserves all the hugs
she isnt the best dancer, but shes a Great singer, and very stable on stage
their hair alexa their hair is so fucking aesthetic
i KnoW
i am in pain, pack your dictionary we're moving to korea
fuck yeaH the next one is lisa
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abs of JUSTICE
hot diggidy she's the sass queen, and she's uh..  23, and a rapper
oh, this is also her
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she is also 21, and yes, a rapper!! a very swaggy one
jackpot
but shes a whole cutie, and the youngest
awh ;;
and she gets embarrassed easily
i see, so she's the tsundere of the group
she is from thailand, and i think shes fluent in four languages, including english
nice, man
she is also an Amazing dancer
n i c e ,  m a n
shes kinda my wife but theyre all my bias so i cannot decide it is Too Hard
i only have one bias  u-u
ofc u do
remember to only have one waifu alexa, too many waifu will ruin your laifu
a baby
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they’re all cuties this is fucking illegal
it  i s do you have any question about baby lalisa over there :(
so far this is a very solid kpop band
o
lots of english speakers, cute dorks and pure babies everywhere
;-; yes
it has my seal of approval
n i c e the last member is jennie
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o damn. jennie? j-just jennie?
just jennie. she doesn’t need anything else
is that an ACDC shirt
apparently
why do they all look so good and fashionable, and both glamorous and cute and pure at the same time, alexa the space-time continuum shouldn't allow this
pffft opinion?
hmm.. she's both a rapper and a singer, and uhh..  she's the second sassiest, but also a goof, and she's 23. I'LL STICK WITH MY 23 also damn nice thighs
she does have amazing thighs tbh.. WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW SHES ALSO A RAPPER AND A SINGER
well usually in smaller kpop bands one of them does the support for both singing and rap..r-right?
,,,,,,,,,now that you say it
it finally happened folks, i taught alexa something about kpop
badass
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THEY'RE ALL SO PURE, FUCC
THEY ARE, they have the badass girl crush concept, BUT THEYRE ALL FUCKIN CUTIES IRL also, take this
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my poor heart
jennie is so smol ;; jennie is the smolest
i'm sorry, i was distracted by the thicc
mood tbh she is also fluent in english lmao
pack your shiT ALEXA WE'RE GOING TO KOREA
y ES theyre all really cute and entertaining, they dont go over the top, but theyre still pretty funny - as funny as a girl group can be anyway
pfft i find all of them entertaining tbh. show me some songs fam 
o, alrighty. this is a dance practice, it was the first thing that was released and everyone went nuts
((Then she showed me the dance practice video))
lisa is the one with shorts, jennie has the cap, rose is the one with braids and the last one is jenniejisoo
oof, a bit too edgy for my taste, sorry. but the routine is great!
well, they were kinda made to be badass
yeah, i figured
also, a little side note
o?
their company is one of the biggest companies out there, but theyre known for their shitty management, as in, they dont really give idols many comebacks or promotions, so they dont have many songs;; even tho they debuted two years ago
well, that kinda sucks
yep..
i imagine this business is pretty finicky behind the scenes. i guess it can’t be all sugar and glitter all the time
true..  anyway, this is is one of the two songs in their debut ep lol 
((Then she showed me “Whistle”))
also, may i add, their mvs are hella aesthetic
they seem to be..  not a fan of the super edgy american-ish songs though
yeh, their second ep was better. this is from the second ep
((Then she showed me “Playing With Fire”))
pyromaniac title, piano in the first second. this one's gon' be gud
yeah, this one was definitely better - well, not objectively, just imo 
yeah then theres this beautiful beautiful song 
((Then she showed me “Stay”))
that title gives me the hibby jibbies
y e p p
nvm i saw a mcdonalds in the background and now i'm chuckling
sdfdsdfg honestly the mv is So Pretty
ALEXA I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR SAD TIMES
shhh its a nice lil song just dont read the lyrics lmao
...i'm reading the lyrics now I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BADASS GROUP WHAT IS THIS
the chorus is so nice tho, with the claps
it is..  well, that was mildly depressing
at the end they hold hands and laugh and jump around in a circle in the mv and its just..  i rlly like the mv and the filter is very pretty
a e s t h e t i c
anyway, back to badass
((Then she showed me “Ddu-du Ddu-du”...?))
this is their most recent release, this time with a mini album
and i see thanos’s throne is back
y eS
these sets look expensive as fucc.. is that a fennec fox?
maybe..
and the evil parrot from rio? what is this, a crossover episode?
THE MOST AMBITIOUS CROSSOVER
first we had the shrek 2 song, now this they gon' hit me with dat turu turu du alexa halp meh  
i k r wat u gon do
is that.. a sparkly tank?
y ES jennie is an icon
i feel like i've ascended
tbh all these things were so unnecessary yet they did it anyway
well i certainly don’t regret it
that breakdown at the end is kinda cheap, but i think the diamond tank made up for it
definitely
sdfvbvGJHGthere are two mvs left
oh, just.. just two?
y es
i feel bad for them ;; did u say it's been two years
yeah..
this is so r00d
yes, always feel bad for yg artists
what’s yg?
its a company - their company
ah, i see
their shitty company
oof
here's their debut song (which i dont really like but Oh Well.)
((Then she showed me “Boombaya”..? who the hell comes up with these names?))
well, in all fairness if they're one of the biggest they probably have a lot of bands to manage
not really..  they had very successful bands though, so that kinda paved the way for the ones nowadays
ALEXA THESE FUCKING LYRICS ARE KILLING ME
ASDFGBFVDS MOOD CLICK CLACK BADDABING BADDABOOM QUEEN
"i'm so hot i need a fan i don't want a boy i need a man" BISH YOU'RE A 5 FOOT 20-SOMETHING ASIAN IDOL CHILL
hjkjhghj shhHHH
this is a whole drugtrip
it iS
are those..  black leather biker pants...  mixed with blue jeans? this is some next level shit alexa i can't handle this
y ES fashion icon
why do coke when you can watch this for free and legally?
ikr theres one last mv, and its better, trust me
..alright...
theyre cute in this one
((Then she showed me “As If It’s Your Last”))
jisoo is the one with the heart magnet and i love her
awh ;; man these titles are edgier than 13 year old me
oh come on, its a love song
that dancing, it's s-so lewd  <-<;;
it iS oh, i forgot lisa's rap is in english
n o i c e i didn't know jennie had her own ice cream business
girl is going places okay but 1:36
what about it?
th-the cotton candy part
pfff
sorry i remember the first time and saw it and was like fukc thas cute
well, it was. it was pure ;;
alright, final thoughts?
well, they're a bunch of cute and talented dorks, but that ain't nothing new. either way, 10/10 for the lewd dancing and the fact that they speak english. give dem more comebacks, fam
they have lewder choreos, but thats for another day. justice4blackpinkcomeback edition
yeS, let’s make a petition
Heya peeps, it’s a boii mod Alex here. This was the first time I put together a Reaction Wednesday post, so uh.. yeah...  I think it turned out pretty good! But seriously, a lot of work goes into these, even though it may not seem like it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! See you next week!
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Text
He loves me, he loves me not (2/2)
Part 1 | Part 1 on ao3 | Part 2 on ao3 | Master list
Authors note: Heeyyyy! So uhhh,,,, hi? I am so so so sorry this took me so long to write (it’s been like a month ;-;) i have meant to write it! i just haven’t had the inspiration, but uhh, here it is ahha. I appologise if its not as good as you might hope for, or like if it wasn’t what you were expecting but i can’t really do much about that ahha ^-^” anyways, ill shut up now, i hope you enjoy :)
Summary: Virgil isnt sure of Roman’s love anymore, so he turns to a daisy, to find out the traditional way.
Pairing(s): Prinxiety
Warnings: crying at the start, a previous crying breakdown, some disbelieveing thoughts (let me know to add any more if you want me to)
Words: 3365
Tags:
everything: @novagalaxy4real @tree4life25 @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms @say-no-to-this-but-its-laurens @magicmapleleaf @moxiety--sanders101 @vrexemi @theresneverenoughfandoms @virgilssweaterpaws
for this fic: @patchworkofstars @lizaelsparrow  @lucifer-in-my-head @patton-loves-coloring @mourning-gorey @hanramz-the-fander @deathbyvenusftw @darude-sanderstorm @theonebornoffire  @sanders-sides-posts @low-key-aesthetic @tellmehowtoexist @monikastec  @dionebacchus @ravenclawicecream @ocotopushugs @alurea-actually @author-trash @aishabbg @iguanathegirl @alexander-from-britan​ @candiukas​ @everyfandomeverlove​ @its-me-dealwithit​
Strolling into the living room, the prince looked around.
“Hello!” He announced grandly when he saw Patton and Logan both there.
“Salutations.” Logan greeted, not looking up from his book.
“Hello Roman!” Patton added cheerily.
Roman walked a little further into the room, still looking around.
“Have either of you seen Virgil anywhere by any chance?” He asked the two other sides.
Patton shook his head.
“I can’t say I have…” He thought for a second. “Now that I think about it, I haven’t really seen him all afternoon actually…. Have you seen him Logan?”
The addressed side shook his head. “No, I haven’t.” He turned back to Roman. “Have you checked to see if he is in his room yet?”
“Aha! Thank you my logical friend!”
And with that, Roman marched off towards the darker side’s room. He could tell which room belonged to the emo due to it not being his first time there and also because the door was the darkest in colour out of them all, being a strong black colour.
He strode up to the door.
“Virgil?” He knocked thrice on the door. “You in there?”
He was met with silence.
Again he knocked.
“Virgil?” He called. “Virgil my love, are you there?”
Again, silence.
“I’m going to come in okay?” Roman asked and then waited a second or two before he turned the handle and opened the door.
At seeing the side in his room – while at his bed – Roman relaxed a little.
“There you are, I haven’t seen you all day, neither had Logan or Patton.” He began to speak. “We were kinda worried... I’m so sorry I’ve been so busy as of late, and I know we haven’t had much time lately to do anything together, so I was just wondering if-” He stopped. “Hey are you okay?”
He only then noticed how Virgil was sleeping in an awkward looking position at the side of his bed, how there were petals around Virgil’s feet, how Virgil’s face, while asleep, looked to be tear stained.
Roman rushed to the other’s side.
“Hey, Virgil? Hey, are you okay?” He put a gentle hand on the other’s back, which seemed as to bring him out of his sleep.
------
Someone was speaking to Virgil, but he wasn’t sure who as of yet. Maybe if he ignored them they’d leave him alone. He wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with people at that moment.
They were speaking to him now, a hand was on his back. It sounded an awful lot like Roman. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him again, making it seem like Roman cared when Virgil knew the actual truth.
Slowly, he started to open his eyes, he was facing away from whom ever was in his room with him, and so he was not able to see who it was.
“Hey, you there?” The person asked him. It was almost scary how much the person sounded like Roman, unless…
He slowly turned and came face to face with, none other than Roman himself.
“There you are.”
He looked, worried. Why was he worried? What was there to worry about?  Why was Roman even there in the first place? Virgil already knew the truth, so why was he here?
“Wh- Why-” Virgil stuttered, confused.
“Are you okay my love?” Roman asked, gently, slightly confused as to why Virgil was confused and also wanting to find out what was ailing his love so he could make it better.
“W- What are you doing here?”
---
The question confused Roman. Why wouldn’t he be here?
“I was worried about you and came to see how you were. You haven’t been out of here practically all day…” Roman said clearly and carefully stroked circles into the other’s back. To his surprise, Virgil seemed to shrink away from it almost.
“I’m- I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.” Why was Roman still here?
“Why ever would I not worry about you, my thundercloud?”
Virgil’s thoughts clouded his mind again, wincing ever so slightly at the nickname. “Just go away.” He pushed at Roman. At his confused look, Virgil pushed again. “Go on. Just go. You probably have better things to be doing anyways…”
While Roman would admit he had been away quite a lot that past week or so, he didn’t think it deserved this kind of reaction. Why was Virgil being so hostile all of a sudden? Did Roman do something wrong?
“Listen I get it already. I understand. Just go…” Virgil turned away from Roman. “I already know the answer…” he muttered the last part to himself, solemnly looking down at the stalk and flower petals that lay around his feet.
“Understand what? What do you know the answer to? I can’t understand you if you talk in riddles.” Roman was very confused at this point. “Please, just talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling..?”
The darker side paused for a moment and then turned back to Roman, tearful eyes staring into Roman’s.
“Why don’t you- you tell me what you’re feeling…” He paused and looked away again. “Or… what you’re not feeling that is…”
This took Roman aback a bit.
“What do you mean? Speak clearly, I can’t understand all these riddles.” Roman huffed, getting slightly annoyed but not wanting it to show.
Virgil picked up the flower stem, increasing Roman’s confusion.
“It’s okay… you don’t need to hide it anymore… I already know.” A few tears slipped down the side of his face as he held the flower stem weakly between his fingers.
“Virgil...” He paused, looking confusedly at the flower stem Virgil was twiddling. “I have no clue what you’re talking about. Please explain, I deeply confused about what you’re talking about. Actually, I’m also quite confused about why there are flower petals around you, care to explain that too?”
Virgil looked up into Roman’s eyes, searching for something. He sighed, seemingly not finding what he was looking for in Roman’s expression.
“I know… i-I know that you don’t-” he took a breath, almost to steady himself and prepare for what he was going to say.
“I know you don’t love me anymore.”
Roman still in shock and confusion. How could he-? Why would he-? Huh?
“You don’t- you don’t have to pretend anymore…” Virgil could feel the tears start to well up again. He would not let himself cry in front of Roman, he would not let his guard down.
Looking at Roman, who was silent and was staring at him, Virgil just took that as more proof for it to be true.
There was silence for a few more moments, Virgil trying his best not to cry.
“So... now you know I know... please leave... I don't- yeah... just please...” Virgil quietly said.
This snapped Roman out of his trance.
“What are you- no of course that’s not- I still-" he tried to quickly correct Virgil.
“Please just leave!” Virgil said more forcefully than he had meant to. Tears now finding their way down the sides of his face.
“Virgil i-” Roman stuttered, trying to get the words out. He took a deep breath and calmed slightly. “Of course I love you Virgil. No matter what I still love you. What on earth would make you think I didn’t? I know I haven’t been around much lately but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, you idiot.”
Virgil had, however tuned out the rest of what Roman was saying once he’s said the opposite of what he thought.
“You- you l- what-?” he stumbled over his words as he tried to understand what Roman had said.
“But I thought- the flower- you what?”
Roman only rubbed Virgil’s back as he tried to get him to calm down.
After a short while of him not being able to form proper sentences, he seemed to calm down enough to be able to speak properly again.
“The flower told you me you didn’t though…” he spoke slowly, and sounded thoroughly heartbroken.
“Sweetheart, what makes you say that?” the prince questioned softly as to try to not set off another mini breakdown.
Virgil wiped at his eyes with his sleeves which had fallen over his hands and sniffed again. Despite the situation Roman still found it adorable.
“This is going to sound stupid when I say it…” he ducked his head away from facing Roman.
“No it won’t. Trust me. Please tell me…”
Roman sounded so earnest as he asked, and sounded like he genuinely cared…
He sighed.
“You know- you know the thing kids do when they’re young with the flowers…?” Roman began to have an idea about what Virgil might say. The darker side took a breath. “Well… I did it to-” he paused to wipe some more tears away. “To see if you still cared…”
Oh. Roman began to put some of the pieces together.
“Why would you think I wouldn’t still care for you Virgil?” he asked trying to keep his voice from quivering. Was he that bad of a boyfriend? No, now wasn’t the time for self-deprecation, Virgil needed his attention as of the moment, and his attention would be given thus.
“Well I mean… you haven’t really been around much lately… I have barely even seen you in the past week… every time I want to do something you always say you’re busy or some shit like that… it just made me wonder, you know?” he let out a watery laugh as he held back tears again for the umpteenth time that day.
“Oh Virgil…” Roman sighed and help a gentle hand to the others tear stained face and carefully guided it to look back at him once again. “Listen to me when I say this….”
Virgil tried to face away but Roman’s hands held his face firmly, but gently at the same time.
“I love you.” He said firmly. “And nothing will ever change that, trust me on this.”
Virgil stared into Roman’s eyes, looking- no, searching for even the slightest hint of a lie, but finding none. Maybe Roman was in fact telling the truth. Maybe it was Virgil who was wrong. God, why did he have to believe a stupid flower. It would have been so much easier to address the issue in person, face to face. Rather than hiding out in his room, merely hoping for a day when Roman would only just say yes to one of his ideas. Waiting for Roman to tell him the words he told himself in moments of self-doubt, that he didn’t love him. Wishing he could do more to build on the relationship, but having nothing to build from and nowhere to begin.
Roman could almost sense Virgil’s inner monologue, and knew he had to do something to stop him thinking that way, before things got too bad again. Well, they were already bad, he just didn’t want them to get worse per se.
“Virgil,” he continued. “Do you believe me now…?”
Virgil shut his eyes and leaned ever so slightly into Roman’s touch, hand still against his face. He moved his own hand up and put it atop Roman’s, holding the back of his hand while tears slipped down his face yet again. But Roman wasn’t mad, he just gently brushed the tears away with his thumb, being ever careful.
Why was Virgil such an idiot, to believe something as small as a flower. Of course Roman wouldn’t give his feelings up that quickly… he always told Virgil how much he loved him, it was just Virgil who took things in a different direction.
After a few moments of silence, Roman pulled Virgil in for a strong hug. Arms wrapping around him in a protective matter, tucking Virgil’s head underneath his chin and gently pressing kisses to his hair as the other held onto Roman’s sash tightly.
The hug lasted for a good few minutes. Roman whispering reassurances of his love for Virgil, and Virgil’s tears slowly coming to a stop as he managed to hug the prince back.
“Hey Ro…?” came the voice which was now hidden in Roman’s shoulder, sounding broken and raw due to the previous emotions.
“Yes my love?” he responded, stoking the back of Virgil’s head.
“…I love you...” he paused and then continued. “…I’m sorry for being such an idiot and believing such- such a stupid thing…”
“Oh Virge, there is nothing to worry about my dark knight. It wasn’t your fault…” Roman whispered back, holding Virgil a little tighter.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, calming down from the emotional moment they’d just been through.
“If- if it’s okay for me to ask…” Virgil said, not looking up at Roman, but Roman looked down at him. “…what have you been busy with recently…?”
Roman tensed slightly. Was it ready yet? Should he show Virgil now? I mean, he needed to say where he’s been, but he didn’t want to ruin the surprise for Virgil…
Virgil had felt Roman tense and his mind jumped from bad conclusion to bad conclusion, each worse than the other. What could he have been doing? Nothing bad, right? Roman wouldn’t do that… right?
Roman sighed, he decided that he might as well show Virgil, it was pretty much finished anyways at this point.
“Well…” he started, but Virgil sighed.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to say… I was just wondering that’s all…”
“No no no! That’s not it! It’s not that I don’t want to say, it’s just…” Virgil looked up at Roman slowly, questioningly. “I can’t really explain it, I’d have to show you.” The darker of them looked slightly more confused at this. “So… if you wouldn’t mind… would you let me show you…?”
Virgil nodded and Roman slowly got to his feet, letting Virgil stand up next to him before offering his hand in the right princely manner. With a small smile, Virgil took the hand and let Roman guide him out of his darkened room, through the corridor and into the light of Roman’s room.
They went through to a door in one of the walls in his room.
“What’s that Princey…?” Virgil asked, sceptical of the door.
“Just trust me on this… please?” Roman asked and Virgil nodded, hesitantly.
Roman opened the door and stepped through, lightly dragging Virgil behind him as he made his way into the place through the door. It just looked like a forest to Virgil which was kinda disappointing, but then again, he didn’t really know what he was expecting.
“Where are we going Ro?” Virgil asked as he was dragged into the forest, trusting Roman to lead him somewhere where it wasn’t going to be dangerous.
“Just follow me, we’re nearly there.” Was the reply he got.
That didn’t really answer my question but oh well, Virgil thought to himself.
After about 5 or so minutes of walking through the forest, they came to a halt in a clearing. There wasn’t really much in the area, on one side it had trees, the side he and Roman were standing on, and then on the other side it was just fields of grass, stretched out to what looked like forever and went as far as the eye could see, if not longer. It seemed rather plain in the day sunlight…? Since when had it become day? Virgil could have sworn it was the evening…
“What are we doing here?” Virgil voiced his thoughts after a moment and looked to Roman for answers. “Not that this isn’t nice… it’s just… why are we here?”
Roman smirked and then brought his right hand up and snapped his fingers.
All of a sudden the fields started to transform, flowers popping up all over the place, painting the previously green hills with dots of colour, until it seemed like there was no green left, and all that could be seen was a mosaic of whites, pinks, reds, blues and other colours of flowers.
It was honestly a breath-taking sight, and Virgil had no words to explain it, too shocked to be able to form words.
Roman broke the silence when he spoke up.
“This is… what I’ve been working on recently…” He admitted and turned to Virgil, who was staring out at the open expanse covered by flowers. “…it’s for you…”
This caught Virgil’s attention, head turning around to look at Roman, a surprised expression on his face.
“F-for m-me?” he asked. “But… why…?”
“Well…you haven’t really been the happiest recently, and I wanted to do something to show you how much I appreciate and love you. Unfortunately, it took up a lot of my time and that’s kinda why I was busy… I guess I didn’t really think about what you might think about me being constantly busy, and well… didn’t expect what happened to happen…” he laughed nervously.
“I hope you like it…” he said almost shyly.
“Like it... like it…? Roman I love it…” Virgil said after a breath and then pushed forward into Roman and almost tackle hugged him with the force of impact.
Slightly surprised, it took a moment for him to wrap his arms around Virgil in return.
“Thank you… so much… I love it so much….”
Roman laughed gently. “That only half of it dear.”
“Huh?” Virgil looked up at Roman.
“I can show you this another time, there’s something else I want to show you.” he smiled. “Come lie down over here.”
He led Virgil into the meadow of flowers and away from the trees and they found a spot and lay down in the flowers facing towards the blue, almost cloudless sky. Their fingers intertwined with each other as they laid down holding hands, Virgil relishing in the relaxing atmosphere the sent and feel the flowers gave off.
“Okay.” Roman said as he once again raised his hand towards the sky and snapped his fingers.
This time it was the sky that changed, clouds being whisked away and the light blue fading into the deep blacks and blues that the night brought. Hundreds and thousands of Pinpricks of light appeared against the dark background, making up galaxies and the brightest ones being those of the constellations which were scattered across the sky, in what looked like the right positions in the sky too.
“Woah…” once again, Virgil was lost for words.
How on earth had Roman managed to make all of this? It was mad, but also amazing.
“How did you… no… thank you”
“Hmm?” Roman raised an eyebrow.
“…Thank you… for everything…” Virgil clarified. “Thank you for all of this… for being there for me… for being you…. for loving me…”
“Oh Virgil, my love, that is something you never have to thank me for.” He smiled and then shuffled a little closer to Virgil, who tucked his head into the space between Roman’s head and neck while he laid and stared up at the sky.
Slowly, Virgil moved, and kissed Roman slowly on the lips, surprising the other, who after a second responded. Virgil moved away, and curled into Roman’s side, the other’s arm coming to warm around his side and hold him close as they continued to stargaze.
They both stayed like that for a good while, time not seeming to exist in the moment between them as they laid in the company of one another.
After what seemed like forever, but also no time at all, Roman spoke up.
“Hey Virge?”
“Yea Ro?” the mentioned side turned to face the other ever so slightly.
Roman turned and stared into Virgil’s eyes, who stared back, both of their looks filled with an unspoken promise.
“I love you, my starry night”
“I love you too, my entire universe.”
They huddled a little closer to each other, if that were possible and wordlessly stared up at the sky.
He would be forever thankful and immensely grateful for Roman, and the feelings they shared, and there were only three words that Virgil could think of after all that. Three words which meant the whole world to him.
‘He loves me.’
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rwbyrwby · 7 years
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@cleanhoney tagged me in this ayyy thanks buddy
THE LAST: 1. drink: milk lmao 2. phone call: I just checked and it was in April omg but it was my friend Tia 3. text message: it was EE advertising by sport to me haha 4. song you listened to: I think it was I Smile by Day6 it’s a bop omg 5. time you cried: it’s been a while because I bottle up all my emotions but let’s not go into that now 6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: don’t think so 10. been depressed: it’s been quite prominent for a couple years I think 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: it was last summer I’ve been a good boy since
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: uhh like blue, purple anddddd yellow??
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yepp 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yeeee 18. found out someone was talking about you: don’t think so 19. met someone who changed you: not much 20. found out who your friends are: no I have the same friends really 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: noOO
GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like all but one?? 23. do you have any pets: unfortunately not :(( 24. do you want to change your name: nah not really, I don’t like it too much but I’m just like a dog, I respond to it but it doesn’t mean anything to me 25. what did you do for your last birthday: nothing I think 26. what time did you wake up: usually around like half 9 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I was on a plane maybe sleeping maybe reading 28. name something you can’t wait for: fucking KARD debuting with a mini album in like under 3 weeks I’m so excited wow 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like a couple minutes ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: this is such a weird question like what kind of answer like am I changing my depression or like am I changing how well my computer works like there’s a lot of things how serious are we looking 31. what are you listening to right now: my parents talk to their friend lmaooo 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: yeah I know a tom I went to school with one for like 5 years 33. something that is getting on your nerves: i kinda got a cold 34. most visited website: tumblr probably tbh 35-37. Um what?? 38. hair colour: it’s like standard blonde :(( 39. long or short hair: my hair is pretty short 40. do you have a crush on someone: yeh Mark Lee 41. what do you like about yourself: this one is hard honestly but I like my hardwork???? I worked a lot for my exams last month and I only had like a few mental breakdowns 42. piercings: I have none but I want my ears done soon 43. blood type: wtf who knows this 44. nickname: don’t have one unless you count the shortened version of my name 45. relationship status: single :( 46. zodiac: Leo 47. pronouns: he/him 48. favourite tv show: RWBY is a web show and I guess Sense8 is a Netflix original so it never actually aired on TV so imma not count them and say iZombie 49. tattoos: none atm, might get some when I’m older idk 50. right or left handed: right for me 51. surgery: I had to have a small op when I was 11 52. piercing: again?? Read my answer to the last one that said it 53. sport: I played tennis when I was young but I pretty much hate all sport now 55. vacation: I came home from Barcelona this morning lmao it was good 56. pair of trainers: what’s this even asking I own a pair of trainers yes
MORE GENERAL 57. eating: also what is this asking I’m not eating anything now yes I like eating it’s something I do often wtf 58. drinking: again wtf 59. i’m about to: I ain’t got no plans 61. waiting for: Splatoon 2 omg it’s so soon 62. want: the succ 63. get married: I’m not too fussed with marriage but if a future boyfriend wants to and it seems right then sure why not 64. career: I’m still in school but I’m not sure what I’d like to do when I’m older 65. hugs or kisses: both yass 66. lips or eyes: I’m more attracted to eyes??? Is that what’s it’s asking?? 67. shorter or taller: taller I’m like average for my age I think but I assume these questions are about what I prefer in a significant other so I guess I like a man a bit taller than me 68. older or younger: don’t mindddd 70. nice arms or nice stomach: I’m more attracted to nice stomachs woooo 71. sensitive or loud: I’m neither sensitive or loud??? But I’d prefer a partner that’s sensitive as I can deal with that you just don’t have to be mean but loud people can sometimes be annoying 72. hook up or relationship: hook ups yahhh (jk relationships omg wtf) 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitantttt
HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: nO OMG 75. drank hard liquor: nope 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: never had any 77. turned someone down: no, never had the opportunity HAHA 78. sex on the first date: I would yeah 79. broken someone’s heart: nOpe 80. had your heart broken: no?? 81. been arrested: I am a good boy no 82. cried when someone died: only Pyrrha 83. fallen for a friend: nah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: rarely 85. miracles: no 86. love at first sight: don’t think so 87. santa claus: not any more 88. kiss on the first date: yeee sure that’s cool 89. angels: i don’t think so
OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: 91. eye colour: bluey green it seems like they’re turning green wtf 92. favourite movie: probably the incredibles tbh I tag: @mightymegalodon
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