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#i try to maintain a healthy sleeping schedule
ros3ybabe · 3 days
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Accountability Buddy Search!
I am currently on the search for an accountability buddy! Someone I can use to keep me on track with my academic goals, life admin goals, language study goals, and whatever specific things I'd want to accomplish! I also would love to help someone else stay accountable with their academic/language/life admin goals!
editing to add: I have found my accountability buddies!!! Thank you to everyone who reached out to me, and I look forward to working with my new accountability buddies! I recommend for everyone who thinks it to be useful to do do themselves, because I can already feel how good this is going to be for me, and hopefully for them too!
Here are some of my goals:
regularly studying spanish/Japanese
regularly completing homework on time
regularly studying for/preparing for exams/quizzes
sticking to my routines consistently
maintaining a healthy, productive balance between school-work-life
regularly meeting my personal goals (reading, joirnaling, working out, etc)
Here are some things about me:
I am a 21 year old female
I am a junior in university, but 2nd year of studying my major
My major is Human Nutrition/Dietetics, and I am also minoring in Psychology and Exercise Science
My current courses I'm trying to stay on top of are General Chemistry II, Emotions (psychology), and Medical Terminology
I want to begin regularly studying Japanese and Spanish again
I want to begin reading, journaling, and sticking to consistent routines as well as keep academically inclined.
My Preferences in Accountability Buddy:
Female, 19-24 years of age (no minors or males, please.)
preferably in college/university, but it also doesn't matter if you independently study languages
also has some academic/productive oriented goals, or just goals that you'd like to be kept accountable on
has a not super personal way of contact for the accountability check ins (GroupMe, Discord, and eventually maybe a way to video call once we get more comfortable with each other, but of course, safety first! and tumblr inbox works too, but I feel discord or groupme might be a little easier long term)
hopefully willing to stay accountability buddies for a decent amount of time (maybe til end of my semester? mid may?)
willing to lay out or goals, accountability check in schedule, and open to communication with respect to each of our time zones/schedules/commitments, etc
conversationaly fluent/fluent in English or English first language at the least. It's the only language I currently speak so it would be easier to work with someone that speaks the same language
If anyone is interested in having/being an accountability buddy, please send me an ask or message me! Please be respectful of my preferences tho, I really do want to be safe with something like this because with the internet, you never know. I look forward to possibly meeting/working with/becoming acquaintances with you guys!!
ps. please don't be put off by the aesthetics of my blog, I can assure you all, I am a typical, 21 year old college student who works an on campus job, struggles with sleep and caffiene, and is constantly staying on top of my grades and classes while also worrying if I'm doing enough to keep my GPA at a good spot. this blogs aesthetics are purely for fun and artistic expression. If I wasn't such an aesthetic-loving person, I'd post my own study type photos but I'd feel so less-than if I posted like, a non cohesive plethora of photos I take. I'm not good at taking photos
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ms-demeanor · 5 months
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I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?
Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.
Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it's on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again "when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles" and "effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort."
Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.
BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can't hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.
Also: the eight alarms aren't all there to wake me up, it's just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.
ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn't have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.
Actually here's some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:
1 - If you're laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you're not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you're more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going "if I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc."
2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you're 'supposed' to sleep if doing so will wake you up.
3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.
4 - It's okay to "hang out" in the area where you're going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.
5 - It's better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it's six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don't stress that you're only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you'll probably feel okay.
6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there's some research suggesting that "well-rested" is a state of mind? I've had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself "Yeah, I actually feel pretty good," and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don't *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you're low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I've found some success with it.
7 - This shit is cumulative. If you're doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that's not ideal but you're probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I'm looking at you college students and new parents - it's going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn't getting enough sleep).
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hannahcbrown · 5 months
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I used to wreck myself every November trying to win NaNo, I'd stay up way too late, I made my caffeine addiction worse, and it'd leave me exhausted for the next few months (before that became my regular state). And none of it was even needed 'cause I write all the time anyway.
When I see people stressing over NaNo I tend to feel like they're hurting themselves and I get the impulse to be obnoxious. I don't want anyone hurting themselves but I also know that some find NaNo to be helpful and fun.
So I'll post some reminders than leave writeblr alone:
Take care of yourself through November
Maintaining your sleep schedule is important to staying healthy
Stay hydrated, highly caffeinated drinks can dehydrate you more
Make sure to rest your wrists and eyes and get up to stretch every so often
Remember that your brain needs a break sometimes too
Don't hurt yourself to make the deadlines
If you are hurting yourself, it's OK to just stop anytime, all the words you've written won't be wasted because you quit
In fact any words you write are never wasted
It's OK to not do NaNoWriMo
It's OK to do it with a smaller goal
It's OK to not win NaNoWriMo
Be kind to yourself
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck and love. 🍀🩷
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beefcake-penguin · 8 months
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Alex: *proudly* "I'm here to report that 'Operation: Lena-napping' has been carried out successfully! 😌"
Kara: "Oh that's great! She always works too hard and forgets to maintain a healthy sleep-schedule and she can be so stubborn when I try to ask her to take a break. So how did you and Nia manage to finally convince her to take a nap?"
Alex: "🤨"
Alex: "🤔"
Alex: "😳"
Alex: *dashes out the door without another word*
[Meanwhile]
Nia: *whistling happily as she drives around with a bound and gagged Lena in the back of her van* "Kara's gonna be so happy when she finds out we 'napped you!"
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pastelbakugou · 4 months
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(*´∀`)♪ I’m here to request/suggest a scenario!
I love reading KiriBaku x Reader, but a lot of it is already established relationship, so I’d love to see your interpretation on how the throuple comes to be. Who liked who first? Who was dating who first? How did they decide to bring in a third? Was it smooth sailing or did it get a little angsty at first?
Of course you don’t gotta answer all those questions if you decide to write this one. I just really wanna see some the boys trying to navigate this kinda thing (*´꒳`*)
So I just finished writing a drabble/scenario that @ayustuff so wonderfully suggested and it explains a lot of how I think they would first establish their relationship. Ya'll can read that here if you'd like. What I will do now is give my opinion on their living situation (in bullet point headcanon style) after you all have established your relationship, but it's still a bit fresh. The reader is written as gender neutral here.
I stated that I think that they're relationship would begin during their third and last year of UA, so we'll start there.
You are all super excited about being a throuple. You and Kirishima show your enthusiasm bit more outwardly than Bakugou, but that's to be expected.
You guys decided to keep your relationship to yourselves for a while, but after some time the rest of the class figured it out. The sudden softness towards each other after weeks of Katsuki and Eijirou bickering. The lingering glances and quick gentle touches. Yeah, they figured it out.😅
No one really confronted you guys about it. They more or less just recognized it for what it was and accepted it and moved on. Aizawa also knew that something was up, but seeing as it didn't affect any your grades nor your abilities to train and become better heroes, he minded his own.
You would swap which room you guys would hang out in every evening. On Mondays and Wednesdays you would all be in Katsuki's room. Tuesdays and Thursdays were spent in your room. And Friday through Sunday you all stayed in Kirishima's room.
Kirishima may never admit it, but he loved having both of his partners in his space for long periods of time, because when Monday rolled around, his room smelled freshly of your mixed musks and by the time it was his turn to "host" again, your smells were just starting to fade.
Bakugou didn't mind having you and Kirishima in his space, but he really loved being in your space because of how safe and homey it felt. Kirishima's dorm was fine, but yours was softer. More pillows and cushions, a soft rug in the middle of the floor, and an oil diffuser that sometimes smelt of eucalyptus and other times lavender.
You, however, didn't really care whose room your stayed in for the evening, you were just happy to be with your boys.
The sleeping situation was sometimes awkward because you would bid each other a good night, just to later come out of your dorms to find your partners curled up in bed together.
Sometimes, Kirishima would find Katsuki in your room or you'd find the red head in Katsuki's room or Katsuki would find you in Eijirou's room.
The biggest issues was space. Your beds were only full size, so really, only two people could sleep comfortably on one mattress.
Your solution? You'd gather at the end of an evening and decide who stayed with whom. Sometimes, you wanted a bed to yourself, leaving the others to their own devices. Other times, Katsuki would back out and let you and Eijirou share a night and vice versa.
You all were so excited to share a place after you graduated. The first thing you all pitched in on was a California King bed, opting to put it in Kirishima's room since he had had the biggest growth spurt during high school.
You still had your separate rooms, wanting to maintain a healthy relationship regarding your privacy, but also due to having differing work schedules.
Sometimes, one of you would have to be up early or someone would come back home late, and in an effort to not disturb the others you'd tiptoe off to you own room.
House chores were never an issue between the three of you. Bakugou refused to assign designated chores because he thought it was stupid. You were all adults. "If something needs to be done and one of you had time, you fucking do it." He explained and you and Kiri both shrugged in agreement.
The only chore that was designated was cooking and Katsuki took that because he refused to eat nothing, but meat(Kirishima's preference) or take out(Your preference, except on a rare or special occasion.
I made a NSFW Part 2! You can read it here. Please do not interact/follow me or my blog without having your age or that you are 18+ listed on your page. You will be BLOCKED 🚫.
Sweet peas: @the-weeping-author @millennialmagicalgirl @dcsiremc @dreamcastgirl99 @katsuslover @neon-gothicc @ayustuff
If you'd like to be added to my tag list click Here!
If you want to follow me and my works at @pastelbakugou , be aware that this blog contains 18+ content. Please have your age or that you are 18+ listed in your bio or on a pinned post. Otherwise, you will be BLOCKED.
I have a safe for work blog, @pastelbakugou-sfw . All of my wholesome and fluffy works are available there if you are underaged or do not wish to be exposed to 18+ content.
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lapis-lights · 1 year
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.·.·Vendetta!Leon S. Kennedy x Reader·.·.
Song Title: Heaven by Julia Michaels
Series Playlist Here
AO3 Link
Content Warnings: NSFW (only 18+, specific warnings at the beginning of each chapter), Female Reader, AFAB Anatomy, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Past Abuse, Heavy Injuries, Near Death Experience, Allusions to Bad Childhoods, Gun Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending
Words Total: 51.2k
Schedule: New chapter every day at 8 a.m., EST
Status: Complete!
Summary: Active within two different groups trying to fight the war against the ever-famous bioweapons, you and Leon have always maintained a healthy rivalry. It's not uncommon that you'll butt heads on overlapping missions, engage in countless fights ending in draws that begin with two guns pointed at each other, and say words of hatred spit in the heat of the moment while the two of you try to get the edge on the other.
However, one night, you show up on the doorstep of his room at the raggedy motel he'd hidden away in to recuperate after the events with Glenn Arias.
On one hand, he doesn't trust you at all. On the other hand, you were bruised, and bloodied, and looking like you were on the verge of death.
Somehow, you soon have Leon wrapped up in your ploy to take down the company that bound your life in a contract. As the two of you stay trapped together working as unfortunate allies, conflicting feelings arise and threaten to turn your world upside down.
.·.·MASTERLIST·.·.
• 01 | Choke Yourself to Sleep
SUMMARY: Having freshly escaped from an elaborately disguised company, you show up on the doorstep of your enemy's dingy motel room. Tensions roll high as you try to recuperate all while trying not to kill each other.
Word Count: 11k
• 02 | You Could Kill Me and You Should
SUMMARY: As you and Leon start working as allies, the more you start having second thoughts about him. Surely it couldn't mean anything...right? Conflicting emotions and a surprise visit shatter your whole view of him and you can't help but wish Leon would reveal his true intentions already.
Word Count: 12k
• 03 | Kiss the Skin From My Lips
SUMMARY: As tensions ride high between you and Leon, you execute your first infiltration mission of the J.I.E. lab. What you find inside is more than just a few simple monsters, but rather a life or death situation and an experience that leaves you and Leon absolutely breathless.
Word Count: 14.1k
• 04 | I Love You For Infinity
SUMMARY: You and Leon have finally found common ground as you take your final stand against the J.I.E., but not everything comes up roses. Though, no matter what, Leon's hand is in yours and it was something you would face...together.
Word Count: 13.9k
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jahanmp4 · 8 months
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Antoine pretty much summed up a huge part of the French community's struggles with the QSMP server : the timing is absolutely horrible for Europeans, everything happens in the AM hours of the night for us and it's impossible to maintain a healthy sleep schedule (I mean look at Pomme lol), so it's hard to get involved in lore, it's almost an impossible task to try and catch up as a viewer so I cannot imagine what it's like for a steamer. There's a generational gap between the French ccs and the others that's also very noticeable with the viewers as well (again this is just my opinion hehe !), and the fandom is like... Passionate lol. It's just a very different mindset from the French viewers so we experience QSMP very differently.
To be perfectly honest back in early August I wouldn't have been surprised if Antoine had decided to go MIA on the server indefinitely, so I was pleasantly surprised when he said he wouldn't lol.
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pablitogavii · 1 year
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I love you too
Summary: One where the reader is scared of the three letter word because of the way she's been raised :)
Pairing: Pablo Gavi x Reader
Warnings: mentions of smut but nothing graphic/ slight angst/ fluffy ending <3
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She has been dating Pablo for some time now and they went though hell and back since the world found out about their relationship.
The survived all the gossip, judgment, obsessive fanatics and still maintained a stable and healthy relationship. They have never loved each other more, and for the first time in awhile they were both happy.
Pablo had just came back from Madrid after a game, when they made love to each other for hours next to a fire place showing to each other just how much they missed being together.
"That was amazing Gavinho.." she smiled laying on his strong chest still catching her breath while staring at the raging fire next to them.
"I love you Y/N.." he said and she felt her face getting serious as she comprehended the meaning of his words. She stayed quiet.
Nobody ever told her those three words before...in her house it wasn't common to hear people "loving" each other..it was more like they "respected" one another..so she didn't even know what those words really meant.
"Um.." he said nervously when she wasn't replying and she got up from his chest holding sheets close to her naked chest finding the best possible excuse to go home.
"I should finish that project.." she said obviously lying but he felt so embarrassed for saying like that so suddenly to her so he nodded helping her collect her clothes watching her get dressed.
Why didn't she say it back? Did she not feel the same?
When she got up, he walked her to the door pulling her waist back and leaving another kiss on her swollen lips which she gladly accepted giving him a weak smile.
"We are good..I'll see you tomorrow" she said leaving quickly while Gavi went back to bed staring up at the celling wondering what had just happened..was he pushing you hard so soon?
The next day, Pablo arrived to the training center way early not really getting any decent sleep last night and it really did show as all his teammates commented how dreadful he looked.
"Might consider getting your sleep schedule checked, kid!" Xavi even said and Pablo apologized for slacking off during training getting caught by Pedri who pulled him to the side.
"Is everything okay hermano? Is it Y/N?" he said and Pablo nodded knowing he can trust his best friend with this.
"I said "I love you" to her last night...but she didn't say it back" Pablo explained to Pedri feeling his heart breaking as he remembered wishing he knew why you didn't love him back...he wanted you to love him back so badly.
"You know how her parents are hermano, they are colder than winter..maybe she just got scared you know? But there in no doubt she feels the same as you..just give her some time to realize it" Pedri assured and Pablo nodded hoping that he didn't scare you away forever.
She couldn't sleep either neither could she function the next day at school...she kept thinking about last night and those three words Pablo used.
"I love you Y/N..." kept replaying in her head when her best friend interrupted her thoughts brining her back to reality.
"Alright, what happened?"
"Nothing..I..."
"Wanna try again? Something clearly upset you"
"He said he loves me...last night, after we made love..but I don't know what that means..so I didn't say anything...and I think I lost him forever now"
"Oh, don't be absurd. Pablo wouldn't give up on you so easily! Boy is obsessed with you..it's kinda adorable actually"
"I'm obsessed with him too...I think I might feel the same...what do I do now?"
"Wait for him at his place and tell him! You still have the key, right?"
"Yeah.." and with the last school bell she departed to Pablo's apartment to wait for him to return from his trainings.
Pablo stayed long after the training to hand out with the guys, truthfully because he couldn't get himself to lay in the bed he slept with her so many times before..it made him think about last night and he didn't want that.
"Alright, let's head home chicos!" Ansu said when it was almost midnight and everyone agreed so Pablo didn't have another choice than to go home..to his cold bed..without her next to him.
While Pedri was giving him a ride, he kept checking his phone for a text or a call but nothing came. He knew when her school ended but she didn't reach out to him the whole day...maybe she will never reach out again.
"She will call again...just time hermano" Pedri said like he was reading Pablo's mind making him smile weakly before exiting the car and getting into his apartment building.
He unlocked his door walking inside and tossing the keys to the jar before taking off his jacket little startled when he saw her sleeping on his couch.
His heart started beating fast that he saw her again as he came closer and touched her cheek softly(gif)...she was so beutiful.
"P..Pablo?" she opened her eyes unaware that she fell asleep looking up at him sleepily. He smiled nodding his head and squatting down to grab her bridal style and carry her to bedroom.
When he put her underneath the covers and walked to the closet to get changed, she started fidgeting with her fingers nervously..she wanted to say it back to him..she was ready..but she was scared...what if he changed his mind after last night?
"I love you too!" she just blurred out making him come out of the walk in closet shirtless and in his boxers with raised eyebrows.
"Um..I.." she got up from the bed walking towards him snaking her arms around his shoulders "love..." she went on her tip toes " you.." she pecked his lips "too" and the moment all that left her lips he grabbed her body making her snake her legs around his torso as he kissed her passionately.
He tossed her onto the bed hovering above her with a bright smile on his face while looking down at her glowing eyes.
"I'm sorry I didn't say it last night..I didn't know.." she tried to explain herself but he stopped it with another kiss training kisses down her neck.
"I know amor....you haven't heard someone say it before..you got scared but I promise to show you what love feels like..if you'd let me?" Pablo said and you smiled nodding your head with tears falling down your face but he kissed them away capturing your lips again.
I hope you enjoyed! <33
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rottenpumpkin13 · 3 days
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It’s normal for me to sleep for 12-20 hours straight even if I got 9 hours of sleep the night before because A. I’m sick all the time B. I have chronic migraines and C. I’m depressed. These little comas I fall into work out well for me because I usually feel better when I wake up. I headcanon Genesis has the same problem. Do you think he wakes up at 7 PM thinking its 7 AM? Do you think he experiences a minor inconvenience and heads straight for bed? Do you think people open closets and cupboards very carefully because Genesis might be curled up in there taking another one of his 10 hour naps?
I think Genesis made a fuss of his sleep schedule when he was in SOLDIER, prioritizing rest and "beauty sleep" as well as his much needed reset time so he could be wide awake and alert the next day—because goddess forbid he slag behind Sephiroth.
Genesis was also sick a lot growing up, and needed more rest than the average child because his body just didn't cooperate. So he got used to maintaining an immaculate schedule. There were slip ups here and there: out all night partying, pulling an all nighter to finish writing, and those missions that lasted for days and required his full waking attention.
And he always hated how his body reacted afterward, how he couldn't give fighting his 100% because of how exhausted his mind and body were. He felt useless when he got no sleep, so he made sure it didn't happen often.
All of that shifted abruptly when the degradation began. Suddenly his sleep schedule was an endless cycle of either sleeping for several hours, or a brand of insomnia so distinct one might've thought it were limited edition.
The eye bags forming under his eyes, marring his once perfect skin, were suddenly insignificant next to the blackening scar that stretched over his shoulder, crawling onto his neck.
This type of sleep didn't help. They were unlike the restful nights of sleep he got when he was healthy. This sleep knocked him off his feet. He'd go to bed at 8 PM, suffer through a round of nightmares, and wake up at 12 PM the next day with the sun stinging his eyes and shoulder screaming with pain. He would doze off at his desk at 1 PM and awake at 1 AM with Angeal or Sephiroth shaking him.
Suddenly the days began to spiral out of his grasp. Mondays felt like Wednesdays. Fridays felt like Tuesdays. He can't believe it's already Saturday. Wasn't it just Thursday just yesterday? Ah, right. He had spent the larger part of the past two days sleeping.
It would've been just fine if he could blame it all on the degradation, theorizing that the chronic fatigue simply made him sleepier. But deep down he knew that would be a lie—and goddess knows he's had enough of those.
Simply put: Genesis just wanted to sleep. He didn't want to be awake to experience his own body turning against him, or continue to hear the voice in his head screaming for answers, for justice, for a cure. He didn't want what his waking life had to offer, so he succumbed to exhaustion. But it was uncomfortable and unfulfilling.
He then sleeps less when he deserts. This time he wishes he could sleep, or have a guaranteed bed to rest in every night. But there's no time to rest when you're trying not to die.
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aspecpplarebeautiful · 2 months
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To the anon about emotional cheating.
I’ve been emotionally cheated on, in my case it was from my qpr partner so this might not be exactly what you meant, but my partner and I weren’t romantically or sexually involved or attracted, it was purely platonic bond and that “we love each other more than just best friends” type of qpr love.
In my case, we were both at different colleges. I did everything I could to try to talk to them as much as we could, I wanted to have a semi-regular calling schedule, things like that. They just didn’t care. They didn’t prioritize me compared to the friends they’d made at their college, and they weren’t there for me anymore. I actually didn’t even realize it until they physically cheated on their boyfriend, and then I realized that they’d basically been emotionally cheating on me for months.
So for me, if someone in any type of committed relationship, regardless if it’s sexual, romantic, physical, sensual, alterous, platonic, etc, if one person stops being there emotionally for the other and also confides in others instead of their partner and just generally stops being there in any way for the partner, that’s emotional cheating. It’s hard to explain and it would look different for everyone, but that’s what I experienced. I wouldn’t have cared at all if they became just as close to someone at their college as they were close to me AS LONG AS I wasn’t being replaced. And I think that’s it. If you have a sexual partner and you’re in a non-monogomous relationship and you keep your partner as your priority but you might also start sleeping with someone else but your partner knows and your partner still feels like their a priority and there’s the communication and boundaries set and respected, and all of the relationships formed have a priority to be maintained in a healthy and happy way for everyone, that’s one thing. But in my ex’s case, yes they were dating me in a qpr and they also had a romantic and sexual relationship with their boyfriend, but they completely disregarded the limits and boundaries set. They replaced both me and their boyfriend. They cheated on us and didn’t value us or care about us. It wasn’t “hey I want to be with this person too, and I want to make sure you and this person are all happy and feel loved” it was “I’m going to be with this person and not be there for you, even tho I’m in a committed relationship with both of you.” And that’s why it was cheating, both emotionally for me, and physically for their boyfriend.
I’m not sure how much sense this makes, but hopefully it helps. Basically if partner A has close friendships with people but still makes Partner B feel like they’re the priority and loved and there’s communication and such, then to me that wouldn’t be emotionally cheating. It’s when Partner B’s needs and wants are ignored and Partner B is replaced in some way that was NOT previously discussed and okay-ed by the people in the relationship, that’s when it’s cheating to me, regardless of what it looks like, regardless of what type of relationship it is.
~wolfyboi
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ntenvs3000w24 · 2 months
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05: The ways nature has impacted me? (free prompt)
I believe that spending time in nature offers numerous physical, mental, and emotional benefits. During the summer, I have complete access to nature trails and may spend countless hours outdoors. There may be obstacles such as weather and restricted access to these areas in the winter for our own safety. During the academic year, I attributed my lack of drive to a lack of time spent outside. I find that when I lose motivation, my other positive behaviours fall out of sync. I spend less time exercising, my dietary intake becomes more unhealthy, my sleep schedule becomes disorganized, and I feel inconsistent.  
This year, I decided to take control of my winter, knowing that these changes usually occur during this time of year. I wanted to find strategies to maintain a balanced diet, get enough and high-quality sleep, and have a regular gym regimen while also attending school and maintaining good grades. So I'd like to share some changes I made to my routine to ensure improved habits. 
My first major shift was to devote 30-60 minutes every day to outside activities. Now, I cannot say that I do this every day without fail, but I have been able to do so at least 5 days per week. It helps me to organize my thoughts without having to focus on schoolwork. During this period, I would either softly jog to get some physical activity in or take a walk along the trails in my neighbourhood. I would listen to a podcast, whether it was about amusement, learning, motivation, or self-discipline, to help pass the time. I believe this helped me relieve some of my tension and allowed me to unplug from school.
As we discussed several times throughout the course, the nature trails within the Aboretum made incorporating this practice into my day a breeze. After class, before leaving for home, I take a little walk through the Aboretum to reorganize after a few hours of classes. I sometimes have friends join me, which makes it much more pleasurable because we spend the most of our time on campus together studying. If you don't already, I recommend using the Arboretum to break up your day and get your mind off of school.
I also told myself this year that I would keep a consistent sleep routine. To ensure that I am properly refreshed, I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. Again, are there times when I don't get a complete 8 hours? Of course. However, for the most part, I have been able to prioritize my personal health over academics, and I no longer have to pull all-nighters to complete projects. This has not only allowed me to be properly rested, but it has also taught me how to better manage my time during the day, decrease screen time, and focus on the tasks at hand. 
As a fellow student, I understand how tough it is to maintain healthy habits when there are so many assignments due each week, but it is critical that we remember to take care of ourselves. You may even discover that prioritizing your personal health during the school year has an impact on your academic performance. Can any of you think of a moment when you implemented new habits and saw improvements in your daily life?
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umlewis · 4 months
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Every Traveler Needs to Try Lewis Hamilton's Hotel Hacks [part 1/2]
The F1 driver has mastered the art of resetting his body clock and getting comfortable on the road.
Lewis Hamilton first stepped into the Mercedes-AMG Petronas car over a decade ago. Before his signing, Mercedes was struggling to produce as a team, but with the young, cunning Brit behind the wheel, things changed. Since then, Hamilton has scored the record for most wins, pole finishes, and podium finishes in the most competitive motorsport in the world. No matter how gifted the athlete, leading the pack like that doesn’t come solely through natural ability, and the driver has found a formula for success that follows him across the globe. Men’s Journal spoke with Hamilton on how he prepares to drive circuits he’s never seen before at speeds over 200 miles per hour, his favorite cross-training activities, and the travel routines that keep him at the front of the pack.
Men's Journal: F1 Las Vegas Grand Prix has a start time of 10p.m. PT. How are you prepping for a night race—any hacks? Lewis Hamilton: Preparing to drive a new track means as much simulation work as possible to get a feel for the course. I have two full days that I’ll do in the sim before I land in Vegas. It’s important to adjust your internal clock, so before we get to Nevada, the team is spending some time in Los Angeles. I’m already adjusting my mornings to waking up and going to bed later to fit with the schedule of a night race. I’m also making sure my meals and nutrition intake fits the new schedule. The key is adjusting the light I’m taking in—using different bulbs with different brightness so I can maintain a good circadian rhythm. Since we travel so much, I always make sure the rooms we’re staying in have blackout curtains so I can get a deep sleep at any hour. I like to keep the room cool, which makes the bed more welcome. The bed itself is also crucial, I like a firm pillow because I like to sleep on my side. The ones I have at home are Tempur-Pedic. Do you struggle with sleep? I’ve never been a great sleeper. For years I would go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning and sleep for about five hours. But, to be honest, that worked for me, because our days are leading up to the the main event, which is later in the afternoon. So if I wake up at 5 in the morning, I’m probably peaking a lot earlier in the day than if I wake up at 8. So I’m sticking with waking up later, though these days I’m trying to get more like seven hours of sleep a night. The Mercedes Benz team has a partnership with Marriott Bonvoy and The Ritz-Carlton, which seems like a smart one given how much you travel. How do you make a hotel feel like a home away from home? One of the most important amenities is a coffee machine in the room, because I like to have coffee when I wake up on race day or any day for that matter. I love to play music, it calms me so I’ll have my music equipment in the room as well. I have a keyboard that folds in half so it’s easier to travel with. I really want that hotel space to feel like home. The Marriott team takes that to another level, and sometimes they’ll even have a picture of my dog, Roscoe, on the nightstand. It’s also about what I have them take out of the room. I have them take out all the snacks and anything from the minibar, because when you're working strange hours your body can crave comfort. The easiest way to get that is from food, so I want to eliminate any temptation I might have to deal with later. Instead, I’ll make sure the fridge is filled with healthy snacks like fruit. What’s the most challenging part about being a Formula 1 driver? The Formula 1 season is very challenging for all the drivers. We're going to 24 different countries, maybe more throughout the year, sitting in planes all the time. Rest and recovery is a huge part of making sure we're on point when it comes to showing up to the races ready. There's an immense amount of travel involved. My mindset is greatly benefitted by meditation, so I try to prioritize it. I don’t always get to, and I can feel the difference, but the schedule can get very hectic. I always do better when I can put that focus into my mental game. I like to start my day with positive affirmations, no matter what state I’m in, and focus on the things I want to do. That’s where things like playing music comes in handy. Competing has become very serious business, and we work hard, perhaps too hard. There’s immense benefit to smiling to the body and mind. Exercise is also a great way to help me stay sharp, on top of being critical to succeeding in motorsports.
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izicodes · 1 year
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I wanted to share some time management tips that’s I sat down and wrote down many years ago and still use them to this day. It’s important to have these skills when studying because it helps you use your time efficiently, stay organized and on track, and avoid feeling overwhelmed. So, let me show you my tips!
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Five Basic Principles ✨
Be realistic about the task = How long will it really take?
Be determined = Limit distractions/displacement
Be organised = Book, pens, coffee, to-do lists
Balance the other parts of your life
Be flexible = Things may change, how will you adapt?
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Taking Control ✨
- How am I using my mental and physical energy?
- Is this good use of my time? Is this task better to do right now than other?
- Identify priorities and commitments for the week ahead and write on blank sheet for example sessions, meeting, leisure activities, paid work, time for self, adequate rest/sleep
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Use personal time-tabling ✨
- Acknowledge what you have achieved
- Save mental energy
- Be purposeful and realistic
- Meet deadlines and keep up with work
- Have effective study time and effective relaxation
- Enjoy yourself without guilt and worry
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Tips to avoid distractions ✨
- Start with the unpleasant task first
- Set yourself time limits for reading - 40-45 mins
- Use active reading techniques
- Try another textbook that offer simpler and clear explanations
- Keep your work area clear of clutter
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Remember that by setting aside specific times for studying and creating a schedule, you can ensure that you have enough time to complete all of your work and maintain a healthy balance with other commitments. Thank you for reading and I hope this helps other people!
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P.S. I made this list wayyyy back in 2019 on the notes app on my phone… so yeah, personally for me, really effective tips~
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pastel-charm-14 · 1 month
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+*:ꔫ:*﹤self care quiz ﹥*:ꔫ:*+゚
take this quiz to reflect on your self-care habits and discover areas where you can nurture yourself more effectively. remember, self-care looks different for everyone, so trust your instincts and be honest with yourself as you answer each question. let's get started:
1. how often do you prioritize time for relaxation and rejuvenation in your daily routine?
a) every day
b) a few times a week
c) occasionally
d) rarely or never
2. do you regularly engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, such as hobbies, creative pursuits, or spending time with loved ones?
a) yes, frequently
b) sometimes
c) rarely
d) not at all
3. how well do you manage stress and cope with challenges in your life?
a) i have healthy coping mechanisms in place and manage stress effectively
b) i'm working on developing better stress management skills
c) stress often overwhelms me, and i struggle to cope
d) i tend to avoid or ignore stressors altogether
4. do you prioritize your physical health by eating nutritious foods, staying hydrated, and getting regular exercise?
a) yes, i prioritize my physical health and make healthy choices consistently
b) i try to make healthy choices most of the time, but i could improve in some areas
c) i struggle to maintain healthy habits consistently
d) i neglect my physical health and often make unhealthy choices
5. how well do you prioritize your mental and emotional well-being by practicing self-care activities such as mindfulness, self-compassion, and seeking support when needed?
a) i prioritize my mental and emotional well-being and engage in self-care activities regularly
b) i try to practice self-care, but it's not always consistent
c) i often neglect my mental and emotional needs
d) i rarely prioritize my mental and emotional well-being and rarely practice self-care activities
6. how well do you set and maintain boundaries in your relationships and daily life to protect your time, energy, and well-being?
a) i'm assertive about setting boundaries and prioritize my needs without feeling guilty
b) i sometimes struggle to set boundaries but recognize the importance of doing so
c) i have difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries, and often feel overwhelmed by others' demands
d) i rarely set boundaries and often sacrifice my own needs to accommodate others
7. how well do you prioritize getting enough rest and sleep to support your overall health and well-being?
a) i prioritize sleep and consistently get enough rest each night
b) i prioritize sleep most of the time, but occasionally struggle to maintain a consistent sleep schedule
c) i often sacrifice sleep to meet other demands or struggle with sleep disturbances
d) i neglect my sleep needs and often feel tired or fatigued throughout the day
now, tally up your scores:
for every "a" answer, give yourself 4 points
for every "b" answer, give yourself 3 points
for every "c" answer, give yourself 2 points
for every "d" answer, give yourself 1 point
interpret your score:
25-28 points: congratulations! you prioritize your well-being and practice self-care effectively. keep up the great work!
18-24 points: you're on the right track with your self-care habits, but there's room for improvement in some areas. consider ways to nurture yourself more consistently.
10-17 points: it seems like you could benefit from prioritizing your well-being more effectively. focus on incorporating self-care activities into your routine and seeking support when needed.
7-9 points: it's clear that you're neglecting your self-care needs. remember that prioritizing your well-being is essential for overall health and happiness. consider reaching out for support and exploring ways to nurture yourself more effectively.
no matter your score, remember that self-care is an ongoing journey, and it's never too late to start prioritizing your well-being. listen to your needs, be kind to yourself, and take small steps each day to nurture your body, mind, and soul. you deserve it!
reply with your answer!
-love, pastel
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ask-the-clergy-bc · 1 year
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How would the papas (II,III,IV) be with a s/o that doesn’t get enough sleep so their constantly tired and because of that they also sleep in a lot too, so it’s a weird cycle where the s/o is pretty much messing up their own sleep cycle? And how would they make sure their s/o is getting the proper amount of sleep?
Ah yes, perfect for me as a fellow 'let's fuck up my sleep schedule' person! B) This one is for my fellow ghesties who take naps when they really shouldn't.
Papas Helping Their S/O with Bad Sleep Habits + Getting Enough Sleep
Papa Nihil: At first Nihil just assumed you might have sleep apnea and needed a machine like he does. He's brought up the possibility to you several times. But when you tell him it's because you can never sleep at the same time he laughs. Naps are tricky, didn't you know? Normally Nihil would leave you to your own devices. He's not going to dictate what you can and cannot do. But when you ask him to help you, Nihil will do everything he can! His knee jerk response is to get his own personal medical advisor to come around and give advice. Because he wouldn't know the first thing about how to help! But you both get incredible guidance, which Nihil vows to adhere to in solidarity with you. So he pledges to skip naps (or at least tries to) and stick with staying active with you to avoid taking them. And he only ONCE in a while catches a nap with you, as a treat.
Papa I: This man is the best/worst thing to happen to your sleep schedule. Because if you ASK him to help... he's going to help. Papa has had the same sleep schedule for over four decades, and he hasn't missed a day. He gets up at 5 am every morning, and he's in bed by 10pm. MAYBE 11pm or later on his touring days, but he's always up with the sun. Papa will happily put you on a sleep schedule, but be warned, he will make you stick to it. That means making sure you don't nap by accident and keeping you up. Papa can be incredibly rigid and unwavering if it means helping you. Also putting you to bed at the same time each night. Always gives gentle reminders that if you try to sleep later, take a nap too soon in the day, or not rest you are going to be miserable. Papa is also very good at on the spot telling you how many hours and minutes of sleep you will get if you go to bed right now. Routine is key, and his goal is to get you onto one so consistently that you won't even have to think twice. You'll naturally want to go to bed and get up at the same time every day.
Papa II: Despite how shitty his sleep is during touring or party benders, Papa normally has a pretty consistent sleep schedule. But he's never been a person who needed a lot of sleep. So he can't relate to being tired outside of hang overs or getting sick. You, however, need all the good sleep you can get. And he's not about to sit down and let you suffer and be exhausted all the time. Papa is a firm but fair type of partner who will call you out on your bad sleeping habits. Not necessarily to hurt your feelings, but Papa likes to push you to treat yourself better. And he KNOWS you need the shove in the right direction. The man will go out and get you an entire new mattress if it helps you sleep better! Papa will bluntly remind you not to take naps if you start yawning around him. Or inform you being on your phone in bed is just going to exasperate your inability to sleep. He's a huge pain in your ass, but you're grateful for it. His other method is to keep you more engaged during the day, so he schedules more shared activities when work allows it. You can't nap if you're on the go, right?
Papa III: While he's very encouraging and supportive, you aren't going to get much help out of Papa. Because his sleep schedule is chaotic at best, and spontaneous at worst. You couldn't force him to maintain healthy sleep if you bribed him. This man lives for staying up all night to party. So he regularly sleeps in when he's not expected to be anywhere important. Not only that, but Papa LOVES cat naps! There's a reason he has a giant chaise longue hidden in his office! But, for you? He will try to encourage you. But he will fully take advantage if you come to him complaining you need a nap. Because that's how you both end up cuddled and waking up at 8pm, unable to sleep through the night. Honestly, Papa could also use help making sure his sleep hygiene is a lot better!
Papa IV/Cardinal Copia: Copia will be the first to say it's very hypocritical of him to ever try to scold you about your bad sleep habits. Mainly because he is a workaholic who regularly pulls extended all-nighters to get stuff done. So in truth he, too, could use the same advice. You both unanimously decide that you need help breaking this shitty cycle of being exhausted. Copia gets the help of his ghouls to bug the both of you with regular reminders. Reminders to keep awake when you feel ready to nap. Getting up to take a walk or get a snack, anything. The ghouls also have permission to take your work away from you both when it's getting too late. Cumulus, out of all the band ghouls, has been the biggest unblessing in keeping you both in bed on time! After about a week or two of adjusting, Copia and you find yourselves much more refreshed and less stressed trying to stay up all the time. And the need of caffine has been cut in half, which makes you both feel that much better! Cumulus, of course, was rewarded beautifully for her help.
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mr-entj · 11 months
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Hi Mr. ENTJ, congrats on the new job offer. It's good to hear INTJ and Kobe & Co. are doing well, too.
I'm an ENTJ currently in my fourth year of my Computer Science PhD specializing in Machine Learning/Data Mining, and I know that you know how quickly this field moves. There's loads of advice about how "doctoral programs a marathon, not a sprint" and students need to pace themselves and have work-life balance in order to not burn out. Following these principles, I've made it this far unscathed (in terms of mental health deterioration) and managed to stay in my program.
With luck, an understanding advisor, and low amounts of admin work (emails, meetings-that-could-be-emails, etc.), and good self management, I have been able to work 40 hour workweeks for the most part and stay on track. That being said, I am currently in a period of time where I am increasing to 50 hour workweeks in order to meet a conference deadline at the end of June 2023 (time of writing is mid-late April 2023). As long as I show up to work every day and do my best, I expect this paper will be finished by the time my internship starts. This is fine by me; deadlines need to be met, and I want to continue with my current 5-year PhD trajectory (as opposed to taking longer).
Speaking candidly, I have ADHD and am also Autistic, and maintaining this 40hr/week is critical in preventing the "I wake up in the morning wondering if I've accomplished anything meaningful with my life" feeling that gets in the way of me doing very much at all with my day. I also notice that when I am in the *deep throes* of burnout, my ability to pull back and look at the bigger picture takes a nap and I make myopic, hasty decisions. It's a recipe for bad research.
I've relaxed my "good work-life balance" constraint to simply "do not enter the *deep throes* of burnout". My question is for what lies after this period of time: I will be entering a summer research internship. I am concerned I will not perform well at my internship and will not be able to study as hard for full time interviews as a result of my choices now. Any tips for optimizing this recovery time and post-burnout damage control? Is this an ill-posed question, and there is no way to have my cake and eat it too?
Thanks for your time and consideration, Mr. ENTJ.
You can have your cake and eat it too, you'll just need to endure for the next few months.
Some thoughts on your situation in no particular order:
Get therapy and medication for the ADHD and autism if you haven't already. Mental health issues should never be left untreated especially when you're attempting ambitious and difficult goals. It would be like trying to win a race with a broken leg.
Set strict guardrails to get adequate sleep and nutrition. Don't compromise on either of these two because it'll severely impact performance. During the most intense periods of my life, meal planning worked really well so I could grab and go healthy meals without long prep time. Poor health choices lead to low energy, brain fog, and bad moods. Healthy food/snacks, hydration, vitamins, exercise (even a quick 15 minutes of cardio when my scheduled was packed) made me 10x more effective.
Reach out to the summer internship team and learn more about expectations so you can start planning ahead to manage your time and prepare to hit the ground running. Most summer internships aren't time-consuming and energy draining to the point they'd grind you down to dust. This is because interns require a lot of time to onboard which cuts into the 3-month summer term and they have limited access to information, skills, and experience needed to do more complex work. I wouldn't jump the gun and stress about underperforming without knowing the full scope of your role and responsibilities.
Ensure that you have at least one person from your summer internship who can speak highly of you. In the unlikely event you don't perform well in your internship, you'll still walk away with a solid professional reference to use for future full-time job offers. Pro tip: Companies won't interview every single person at the internship even if you fuck up. As long as they can verify you worked there and you have at least 1 person (more is better) who can speak to your abilities, you'll be fine.
Prioritize full-time job interviews > summer internships if the summer internship has a low chance of conversion to a full-time role. If the opposite is true, reverse that order. If you need to prioritize one of these two, prioritize the one that secures your desired outcome.
Focus on outcomes over input. Focus on the things you achieve, the milestones you reach, and the obstacles you overcome-- not the amount of hours you put in. A few weeks ago I fixed a $5 million problem by clearing up a misunderstanding with a 90-minute conversation. This 90-minute conversation was way more impactful than the 40-50 hours of work I put in the previous week. There's that John Wooden quote: "Don't mistake activity for achievement." Benchmark your progress towards achieving a 'meaningful life' with impact, not input.
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