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#i try not to make a big deal of it but im like. constantly and overwhelmingly lonely all the time and i dont know how to stop it
scamoosh · 4 months
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this is gonna sound whiny but nonbinary ppl can immediately tell when u just see them as their agab jsyk👍 its just frustrating 2 b surrounded by other queer ppl and even in those communities without fail if i make any comment abt period cramps or having worked in childcare or shit like that theres an Immediate shift to like oh okay ur actually a Girl got it . like . there was anothr nonbinary person i used 2 kno who had zero problem using the right pronouns for me until they heard how high my voice was on a call once ☠️
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i still can't get over my roommate implying i was autistic and my friend pulling out her phone to show me the "i'm like if a beautiful woman was an autistic little boy" meme that she'd been saving for the occasion someone acknowledged it
#HELLO#guys i try so hard to be normal how the fuck are people noticing#ALSO WHY ARE THEY ACKNOWLEDGING IT#my other friend who is actually diagnosed with autism is also such a little bitch about this#if i flinch at noises or say something a lil too blunt he pulls me aside and goes 'are u having a tism moment' cause he's terminally online#just the audacity of people to point out that ur being weird when ur being weird. HELLO RUDE#my roommate and i had a long convo about this because she's Implied this multiple times#and the first time she said it in front of people. after we went home i was like 'do u really think im autistic'#and she went 'well you know i think it's a spectrum and you're def on it but also i know lots of autistic people who have happy lives!'#and girl what the FUCK. why are u so comfortable talking to me like that#i just got very very agitated because someone's phone was ringing for a whole fucking min and they were just ignoring it. what's WRONG WITH#HER. and im allowed to have sensory issues without it being autism ok shut the fuck up#anyways. i truly don't know how im supposed to react if someone says something like this. because a. im not diagnosed#b. people are far too comfortable armchair diagnosing me. like im not Trying to be different from what's socially acceptable leave me alone#c. but i also don't want to make a big deal about it because they're just jokign around but also the joke is that im constantly weird#can someone tell me how im supposed to react to this#honestly im kinda scared to post this on the autism website.#please don't be too mean to me
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zemnarihah · 5 months
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hm. my dad is now aware that i have slept over at eriks when i visit him.
#dont love that.#he brought it up bc i have an aunt and uncle in his city and i think he was going to offer to like see if i could stay with them at some#point to visit him#he was like have you thought of visiting erik in (city)? and i was like. yeah#and he was like. have you? and i was like. yeah. and he was like how many times? and i said twice and he was like oh. where did you stay?#and i said. eriks place. and he was like. oh. well you know you have an aunt and uncle there that would let you stay right? and i was like.#yeah i know. and it was in front of my mom and sister and brother in law and HIS sister and everyone was so quiet because they know how my#dad is#and i was like in the process of leaving so i just like said bye to everybody real quick and left so im still like. agh. scawed!#idk why even its not like theres anything he can do to me its just like. god i really want to have peace with him i do not want to ever hav#another lecture from him or get yelled at by him again idk im still scared of that. and he hasnt even met erik yet and probably has a#terrible impression of him now just based off of that even though i am always telling them great stuff about him i dont want HIM to deal#with that especially because i do not think that he would take as much bullshit which he shouldnt have to but god i just have this vision o#my dad like. pulling erik aside for a talk or something if they ever meet and trying to scare him and them getting into an argument bc erik#would stand up for himself#idk who knows if that will happen im literally making up scenarios in my head to scare myself but christ. \#the thing is also at this point in my life i just like. i have to keep moving forward in like. the whole living my life without constantly#thinking about the church's and my dad and the rest of my family's expectations. I have to. I almost lied to him but i didnt and thats#really big progress but im still so scared. but whatever. do it scared. agh!
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my aunt comparing me to her son wrt the upcoming thanksgiving stuff and like. hm. yeah maybe she and my mom should compare notes about how despite having personalities and parenting styles that drastically differ in many ways, they both still ended up with kids that are thoroughly estranged from each other. i wonder what the fucking underlying connection there is. 
#hint its the point blank refusal to even try to make any real attempt to moderate the behavior of the other kid#and the constantly falling back on the tired 'you cant choose family' bs that only ever seems to be used as an excuse to gloss over#incredibly toxic behaviors and dynamics and dismiss incidents no matter how bad they were or how obvious the abusive patterns#i can say in both cases there were underlying factors that probably would have been problems regardless of the parenting#and in the case of my cousin she has at least wanted to deal with her problems and has made multiple attempts that just havent panned#out for various reasons but in the case of my parents other child? she hasnt ever tried to change. she doesnt want to change. and she#doesnt seem to have the self-awareness to even sort out half of whats wrong with her and the things she has done even if she did ever want#to try. which in no way excuses her#but anyway the decisions both of their parents made regarding them were. bad. and it was pretty clear at every turn that things were just#being made worse and worse and thats a big part of how we got to the current state of things ie total estrangement#or rather. as total as i can get it. considering my mother continues to associate with her and most of the time wont even drop me a warning#that she has invited her daughter to the house im at. like my ideal is no contact plus maybe a restraining order (and the fact that i know#how difficult those can be to get and still think i would have a reasonable chance of getting one if i was willing to jump through the#hoops of the process should tell you how the levels of bad the situation actually got) and for her to like. live in another state and for#me to never ever have to even hear about her from anyone and also. while we are at it. for nobody to refer to her as 'my' 'sister' either#but alas
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quinn-pop · 6 months
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let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo
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this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.
this goes into a few things
1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol
2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.
3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol
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vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)
unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.
i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.
it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.
just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that
but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims
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remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible
1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.
2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)
3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that
one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo
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(look at him and his magically floating glasses)
sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.
the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.
i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)
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anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.
this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.
yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels
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this is the conclusion i promise
to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…
autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.
if you actually read all this WOW thank you
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lilykatelyn-blog · 8 months
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Hello! I read your storys and they're so good 😭 idk what your guidelines are but, if your comfortable with it, would you mind writing cockwarming with txt? Thanks in advance if you decide to write it! Also im not certain what anons are, but if positions are open could I be 🍰 anon?
Cockwarming w/ TXT
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pairing: txt x Gn!reader
genre: smut
warnings: cockwarming, taehyuns a lil shit.
notes: Yeah ofc! (Idk if you meant you didn’t know what anons were or what anons I had so I’m just gonna explain, anons are like labels so I can identify each anonymous user that messages or send me asks <3) sorry this took so long 😭
❤︎Yeonjun❤︎
Would be so into it, and he would be a menace. Constantly asking you “what’s wrong baby? I thought you asked for this, now you’re complaining?” And tsking, constantly telling you that you brought it upon yourself and you need to deal with it, even when he was the one who brought it up. He’d have you cockwarm him while he was practicing lines or responding to some work emails. It always ended with him giving you the best fuck of your life. He’d have you on his lap purposely taking long to respond or practice a single part, but he was done, it would be so pleasurable. One hand stimulating your clit (or cock) while fucked into you from behind. Cock sliding in effortlessly from the amount of precum/arousal fluid you had produced. All while he whispered how good you were doing for him in your ear.
❤︎Soobin❤︎
Never thought he’s be into it tbh. But the moment you brought it up, he felt himself get hard. You’d sit on his lap while he’d work or something, and once he finished he’d be so whiny, asking you to ride him. You’d make him wait a while, pretending to be busy on your phone while he whined. Accidentally bucking up into you, earning a slap on the thigh from you. He’s be kissing your neck, trying not to fuck up into you. When you clenched he’d see stars and he’d accidentally fuck up into you. Once you decided enough teasing was enough, you’d let him fuck you or you’d ride him, whatever he wanted. He was your sweet binnie after all.
❤︎Beomgyu❤︎
honestly I don’t see him being a big fan, but once you sat on his dick, he’s immediately have to hold himself back. Use this as a punishment if he intentionally makes you jealous or acts bratty. He also uses this as a punishment for you when you act bratty and he just makes you sit there while he games, ‘accidentally’ bouncing his thigh every once in a while, making you go crazy. When he’s had his fun and made you frustrated, he’ll stop and carry you to the bed, not pulling out. Then he’d fuck you into oblivion, telling you to never do that again. I think he’d be more into it if you were the one being punished tbh, not if he was. He finds it frustrating, but he loves feeling your arousal fluid (or precum) seep down to his thighs because of how turned on you are at him punishing you.
❤︎Taehyun❤︎
until you mentioned it, he thought he’d hate it. But when you finally sat on his dick, he had to bite your shoulder to stop from moaning. Whenever you would shift he’d hold your waist and tell you not to. But after a while, he’s get comfortable and start teasing you. He’d purposefully shift, or bounce his thigh, or buck up, claiming he was just adjusting his position. He kiss your neck, grope your chest and your ass. When you’d clench he’d chuckled and buck up slightly to make you clench more. If he’d feel you pulse around his dock, he’d stop teasing and switch your positions. Having you on the bottom and him on the top, finally fucking you as you’d both wanted. He’d fuck you hard, until you were seeing literal stars. Then when you would be finished and ready to doze off, he’d whisper in your ear “let’s do that again Jagi, good night.” Then go and sleep.
❤︎Hurning Kai❤︎
He’d be even more whiny than Soobin. He’d whine about how he wants to fuck you, how he can’t handle just staying still. But he’ll comply and stay still because he doesn’t want ti face the consequences of disobeying you. Now if this wasn’t a punishment and he was the one leaning towards dom this time, he’s be chill, working on something or listening to music, or actually paying attention to the movie while you were the one whining in his ear about how you needed him and needed him to fuck you. He’d eventually agree and fuck you. But not before playing with your clit/cock and almost making you cum then ducking you hard on the couch, not even bothering to turn off the tv, just laying you down and fucking you right then and there, without a care in the word for your neighbors.
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celaenaeiln · 4 months
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i mean this in the most neutral tone, but, im genuinely confused with this eldest daughter syndrome dick thing? as far as i know, he never lives in the manor with other batsiblings and personally take care of them except damian, and just "yeets" from any possible trouble or tension within the siblings or when they have issues with bruce
No worries I totally get it! And I'm here to deliver!
First, to be fair to Dick, no one lives in the manor aside from Damian and sometimes Tim.
Dick lives in Bludhaven, Steph lives in Gotham U? She's been in and out of comics but otherwise her own house. Cass lives in Leslie's clinic, Tim alternates between the Titans and the manor, Jason lives anywhere that doesn't have Bruce, and Duke lives with his uncle.
However that doesn't mean they don't all rely on him.
I think the confusion comes from scenes like this-
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Batman: Urban Legends Issue #10
Where it seems like Dick just left Tim to deal with Bruce on his own. But-
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Batman: Urban Legends Issue #10
Dick called him. When Tim when to him for advice, he gave him advice but also knew it couldn't just stop there. So he called Bruce to get it through his thick head that he's allowed to be happy. If there's anyone that can change Bruce's mind on anything it's Dick.
Which brings me to my next instance of Dick acting as the mediator and emotional burden lifter of his family. When each batkid dies (or almost dies in Dick's case), Bruce grieves in a different way. With Jason he took it out on criminals, with Tim he took it out on himself, with Dick he took it out on criminals and heroes, and with Damian, he wanted to undo what happened. He torments Jason about it, goes too hard on the criminals, gets worsened by Barbara, gets helped a little by Selina but also feels a billion times worse about Damian's death so-
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Batman and Robin (2011) Issue #23
He locks himself in a simulator for days trying to see and fix where he went from when Heretic killed Damian. Nothing gets through to him so Alfred pulls out the Big Guns - he calls in Dick.
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Batman and Robin (2011) Issue #23
"Richard just came in from Chicago to--"
"Talk some sense into me?"
"Yes, I've implored you to shut this...thing off and join the living, but you have turned a deaf ear for days."
"This calling in the cavalry routine is getting old, Alfred."
Since the dawn of Batman and Robin, Dick has always acted as the mediator for Bruce and the family. Always.
With Dick's help, finally, after days, Damian's saved.
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Batman and Robin (2011) Issue #23
And Dick finally brings Bruce back to life.
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Batman and Robin (2011) Issue #23
He took a destructive, dead-man-walking and breathed life and hope back into him to stop him from taking his grief and anger out on his family and criminals.
Also-
LOOK AT THE WAY THEY'RE SEATED. DICK IS LITERALLY BRUCE'S THERAPIST.
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Batman and Robin (2011) Issue #23
Calling in the cavalry always works.
Of course there's times when Dick doesn't help mediate. But the issue is not that he doesn't want to or he pushes it off, it's that he can't. What the hell are you supposed to do when the mediator who mediates all your problems is themself broken?
Dick really wants to help Tim but he can't. He can't find it in himself to barely live right now because Donna-his platonic soulmate-is dead.
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Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files
He really can't.
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Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files
She was his sister too. Pretty much blood.
I actually think the fact that Dick doesn't live in the manor makes the fact that he still takes care of all his siblings and their problems with Bruce even more important. To calm and rationalize down Bruce and take care of his siblings, he's constantly flying or driving back and forth between different cities, dropping his cases and work, ignoring his problems, just to be there for them.
For another example, when Dick hears that the newest Batman is causing problems in Gotham and Bruce just abandoned Tim to deal with everything and Tim nearly got hurt, he comes all the way back to Gotham to rail Bruce out for doing that to him.
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Robin (1993) Issue #8
When Bruce teams with Damian their relationship so tumultuous but once again Dick steps in.
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Batman: The Return
"I need a partner who can stay focused and keep up."
"Bruce, come on! I made a career out of not doing anything I was told when I was Robin. He gave up everything for this. You can't just take it away...you can't cut him out."
He keeps Robin from being fired and continues being Damian's support system.
It's not just mediating though, Dick fully steps in to take care of the batfamily whenever Bruce absconds or there's trouble.
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Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #24
He's like the command center of the family.
This picture just embodies his role.
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Batman (2011) Issue #15
And as Bruce once said-
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Batman: Urban Legends Issue #22
He's really the eldest daughter and caretaker.
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valentine-writes · 5 months
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Can you do enemies to lovers with 1016 Miles?? :3
[ this will be my last req for this account, moving to my new blog officially once this one is up! catch me on @l0vem41l <3 reqs will be open there when i'm ready >︿< ]
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overachiever
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「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, burnout, reader also attends visions academy, reader is trying so so hard to not be mean and fails (im so sorry), one-sided academic rivalry, author doesn't know how american schools work (i am so so sorry), comfort (?) 」
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「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3」
↳ ft. miles morales (1610)
author's note: YES I CAN!!! however,, i put a lil twist on the prompt given and made it academic rivalry (i genuinely cant find a viable reason to beef w/ miles i am so sorry (-﹏-;) !!) anyways! hope this works with you!!! soz itz so short!!! :[[
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"wow," your friend's eyes light up, scanning over your test results, "...you've gotta be like, the smartest person i know."
you laugh politely, smiling at them as they hand your paper back. "no, it's really not that big of a deal–"
"what do you mean 'not that big of a deal?! dude, you got 100% on a test most people failed." your friend shoves their paper in your face as evidence– a 57% in red on theirs. "that's like... the highest grade achievable. probably the highest in cla–"
"THIS GUY GOT A 101%!"
everyone turns to the voice– the loud kid who sat behind miles eyeing his test.
you blinked in disbelief. you didn't even know getting extra credit was possible on this one.
miles looked up at the faces of his staring peers faces filled with disbelief and slight annoyance, and fumbled to set his test face down on his desk. he flashed an awkward grin "uh... yeah?"
-
▸ you liked miles. he was friendly. sweet. genuine. you couldn't hate him if you wanted to. no, you didn't feel hate towards him. it was just... jealousy. simple, petty, burning jealousy.
▸ visions academy was something you had to work your ass off for, constantly studying just to stay on the level of the students who attended. NERDS. all of them were nerds. but you were attending this school too sooo,,,
and then there was miles. someone who barely even had to try to get the highest grades. he had you seething.
▸ the most humiliating part was the fact that he had little to no interest in competing with you at all. the few times you had spoken were awkward and curt on your end, and yes– it felt awful being so mean for something as small as personal resentment.
▸ nothing justified your one word responses or the accidental snark that would slip into those few words. you mentally kicked yourself for the times you watched his grin falter because of something you said, miles awkwardly trying to laugh off whatever cold remark you just shot at him.
he'd walk away, dejected, and you'd stand there for a moment– frozen as you fought the urge to run up to him and try to explain yourself or beg for forgiveness. it didn't make sense to at this point. maybe he'd just accept this was the way you were– the way things would be between you two.
▸ so yes, perhaps in your pursuit of favouring school over every other aspect of your life, your social skills were left rotting and underdeveloped. but you knew, deep down, it wasn't just you being awkward.
being around him made you feel small. talking to someone, radiating the aura of someone with a promise-filled future made you look completely directionless and clueless in comparison. the effort you put into your academics was almost repulsive to think about when miles could take a test with a blindfold on and probably still score 90s.
maybe it was the deep set fear that you'd never amount to anything if you didn't burn yourself out trying. all of a sudden, the academic validation of being good wasn't enough. not when you were one of the best once.
▸ you spent an absurd amount of time trying to avoid him, deliberately moving to the furthest corners of the library so he wouldn't see you there struggling to wrap your head around whatever you were being taught in physics.
heavens above forbid that he walk up to you, greeting you with that sunny smile and cheerful voice that could make anyone falter. you may have been jealous of him– but oh, how you hated that feeling that way when he nothing but well-meaning.
-
the last sip of your coffee– long cooled by now thanks thermodynamics– did nothing to make you feel less dead. you had lost track of the time you had spent practically decomposing in this library, studying for an upcoming physics test that had you reeling just by the mere thought of it.
you sighed, staring at the papers strewn on the desk. your hands fidgeted with the pencil in your hand, it's eraser and tip rendered flat and useless by now, as you tried to muster the energy to gather your things to leave. it was much too late. the library would be closed soon and you'd be forced to go back home to study at your own desk in your bedroom.
this was routine. go to school, study in the library until it gets dark, and go home to study more– the next day, you'd find yourself still awake and studying or with a headache, your cheek pressed to the desk, and drool on your notebook. yeah. your bed hasn't been used in a solid while. and science homework isn't exactly the comfiest pillow. but this is what you were used to.
standing up, you stretched out a bit– and immediately froze as a familiar voice called your name. you paused, reluctantly turning to the source of the voice.
"...god, morales–" you huffed, "you nearly scared me half to death."
this is the friendliest you've been towards him in a while, he notices, as you flash him a tiny, crooked smile on your tired face. all potential malice you could have held had been beaten out by your absolute lack of energy.
he approaches you and looks at your desk, considering what to say to fill the silent air. he places a hand on your shoulder, you stiffen–
"hey." miles flashes a grin, not his signature smile but,, somewhat of a forced smolder.
you stare and resist the urge to cringe, wondering if you were sleep deprived to the point of hallucinations. you gently brush his hand off your shoulder.
"...hi?" you respond, unsure of what to do.
miles is snapped out of whatever stupid trance he was in by your voice.
"oh– uh– yeah, hey," he repeats your name again, trying to recover from whatever that was, "is– is everything okay?"
"i could ask you the same thing."
he lets out a little chuckle. "you know what i mean. all... this." miles' hand gestures vaguely to your desk and current state of complete entropy. "how long have you been here?"
you avert your gaze, shame burning in your face. "i... don't know?"
a pause.
miles places a hand on your back this time, in an attempt of friendly comfort. geez, are they keeping you locked in here?" he quips, earning half of a dry laugh from you. "c'mon. you should probably get home and rest by now."
"but–" your lips part in protest, looking back up at him to argue– but he just looks back, concern filled in his dark doe-like eyes. all possibilities of fighting him on this were out the window.
"you need it." he insists, a gentle smile forming on his face. much better than the weird smoulder from earlier, you think. "i'll even walk you there."
before you can speak up, he moves away from you, beginning to help you gather up your things to pack up. you mumble a silent thank you to him, which he accepts happily with a nod.
as he hands over the papers, his eyes scan them. "oh! physics? i love physics."
"no shit, morales." you scoff, snatching up the papers from him and stuffing them in your bag. "it sure seems to love you."
yet again, you've managed to mess things up. you bite the inside of your cheek before you can say anything worse. a sigh escapes your lips, as you decide to at least try and save the interaction.
"look... i'm really sorry. it's been a rough day, i've been struggling to get the concepts down, i'm falling behind and feeling stupid as hell right now, and– to make everything worse, the fucking test is just stressing me out and i just– i just..." you trail off from your ramblings, a sob getting caught in your throat as your shaky hands grip your backpack.
"woah, woah, hey– it's okay."
he slowly puts an arm around your shoulder, careful not to startle you or make you uncomfortable. you don't even realize how you lean into him. "let's just get you home. you've done your best, yeah?"
you nod. he offers you a little smile.
"exactly. and that's enough. okay? you're doing more than you can handle right now." there's a few more shared words as he reassures you.
part of him wonders how long this had been going on– how long you had been working yourself until you broke– mainly because that test that was stressing you out was more than a week away. yeah. he'd need to convince you to watch after yourself more often.
-
"and now a silly one!!!" (more lighthearted hcs below for the aftermath of this becuz goodness me.)
▸ things definitely ease up around miles. if he can't convince you to step away from your work, he's chosen to be able to regulate it.
studying with him in a local cafe is now a frequent thing you two do together. miles always gives you time to work, but will then ever so subtly lure you into moving on from your work to hang out with him normally. and it works. every single time. you might start in the library or cafe, but where you'll be later? always a mystery.
whether it's a walk in the park, going back to his place to chat, or finding some random activity to do, you find yourself bonding with him more and more. your jealousy begins to fade, finding a friend in him instead of someone you have to one up.
▸ you both spontaneously decided to see a new horror movie once and accidentally got miles in trouble with his parents for coming home after curfew. and he'd 100% do it again in a heartbeat if you asked.
▸ no matter what you get on that next test, miles is going to congratulate you like it's the best he's ever seen. he's overjoyed to share your achievements, to celebrate them like no one in your life ever has.
miles holds up his test as you tell him your grade. "you got a 92? hey look– me too!"
a snarky voice speaks up, "well, i got a 98% so–"
"no one was talking to you." miles retorts.
you press a hand to your mouth and look away, trying to stifle laughter. was he always this sassy or did you just end up rubbing off on him?
▸ you both end up being extra studious for the next test (breaks included this time) and he's sure to be extra loud about congratulating you for your perfect 100%
maybe the sass wasn't all you,,, but the minor pettiness definitely is your influence. it's actually not. miles is pretty easygoing,, but man did he not like when that random ass kid gave you attitude.
you smile at miles, ensuring to do the same for him if not, a little louder
"what? 'm complimenting you." you tilt your head at miles' stunned expression.
for a moment, he stumbles over his words. "i know– you just– i didn't expect that from you, so–"
you laugh. "what? you want me to go back to being mean or something?"
miles laughs too. it's hard not to stare at the way he lights up a room like this.
▸ things feel lighter now. you've made social progress with others, you have a life beyond just school– and you have miles. part of you wonders if you'll ever be able to tell him just how much he means to you and how you wish you could've just been his friend from the start.
sometimes, in the corner of his eye, he catches your wistful stare. and though he doesn't utter a single word, you start to feel that he cherishes you just as much.
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excessive-moisture · 5 months
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i was compiling a list of animators that make me feel inspired today cos im trying to get motivated. and honestly. i have concluded you are like, top of the list. i've been having thoughts on this, so here they are.
your unique talent (in my opinion) that i hardly see anywhere else, is your ability to just try shit. in your process videos (which are the BEST btw) you are constantly running into roadblocks, time crunches, and a billion things you don't know how to do, and you just roll with the punches- coming up with new tricks on the fly, committing to shots that came out wonky, slapping editing effects on shit and calling it a day. Genuinely aspirational stuff- i've always tried to be an antiperfectionist, but some of the shortcuts you use are things i never would have even thought of.
i have a lot of big ideas for longer, voice acted animations. they always seem way out of reach, but then you just, started making a series of voice acted and largely fully animated inv animations, as if it was no big deal. and it makes me think, i could do that. Why am i just sitting here thinking about my projects and feeling terrible, when you are out here making whatever you want, uncertainty be damned? the energy of your videos is a combination of constant panic and incredible bravery. i hope that you are having the time of your life and never stop alienating 90% of your audience with whatever your current interest is.
side note, but shout out to your audio work- just all of it, any time you do anything with audio, it carries the same ingenuity and improvisational flair i admire in your animation work but with a baseline of competency too. you've worked with audio quite a bit over the years and it shows.
going to have to stop here because my hands have gotten shaky for an unknown reason i need to go figure out. but yes, in conclusion northflowo iss best animator thanks for coming to my ted talk
holdon i need to sit down a moemnt
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emsgwenstan · 3 months
Text
Personal or professional?
Chap 3 | chap 4 | chap 5
Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader
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Words: 2.5k
Warnings: alcohol, severe angst, longing, bodily issues.
Note: well… idk just read and find out there may be a lil x.
Larissa woke at 4am to start her day, for the first time in a while she hadn’t the energy to get up and be motivated, though, ultimately she did rise and started the monotonous process of her hair after she prepared a cup of tea to rest beside her on the counter in her bathroom. Larissa finished her hair and make up, she dressed and took her empty cup back to the kitchenette and for some reason she had forgone stepping into her office as of yet and opted to sit in bed with her laptop, even though it was only 6am.
It had been 3 weeks since the dinner at my house, Larissa and I had kept in touch from that time, especially since I needed to return her purse. She had come to the front of the school to retrieve the item and thanked me for the the trouble of driving it out to her, I brushed it off and said it wasn’t a big deal, any excuse to see or be near her was a blessing. Larissa opened messages on her phone to see if there were any missed phone calls or texts from any of her faculty or god forbid the board, but not only did she find a sum of ridiculous unanswered questions, I had sent a text to inform her that the cupboard’s are right to be installed and I’m ready whenever is a good time for her.
She replied with “Is today too soon?” And of course I was already loaded to go and told her the time I’ll be there, if it was fine with her of course. 3pm. She jumped of her bed and suddenly had an abundance of energy to burn, for the next six hours she would fly through all of the work she had been procrastinating on doing for the past week and eventually find herself for the first time in a long time out of paperwork, meetings and duties, until the next week obviously. Larissa had taken to going for a spontaneous walk through the school at the time students were doing their extra curricular activities and stopped at every one to greet students. She asked staff if anyone was in need of her assistance to which they all declined.
At 1:30 Larissa had ended up at the lake, she walked the length of the peer and inhaled a deep breath of cold air and let her tense shoulders drop back into a comfortable position, she checked her watch and debated on staying for a while longer or if she should get going, the latter was the choice she settled with. Some days Larissa wonders why she constantly chooses to wear dresses even in the winter, her only con is because she likes them, maybe I should wear pants, it might be warmer, definitely more suitable. What am I even thinking Larissa doesn’t do trousers in public. She thought to herself.
Back in the comfort of her office, she peeled off her gloves and stood so close to the fire she might have caught alight trying to warm up her ice cold hands, the only downside to this time of year to her apparently. Just as she was about to take a seat in her chair, her phone started ringing.
*Violet Hastings*
“Hello darling.” She answered.
“Hey… um im here, is there any easy way of getting the stuff inside before I make myself look like a fool and you tell me there was in fact an easier way.” I chuckled.
“Your parked at the front correct?” She asked.
“Yeah, just go up the stairs and down the corridor and take a left yeah? I only really know the way from your office.” I asked.
“Yes, do you think you’ll manage sweetheart?” She wondered.
“Of course I will, I’ll get into it and I’ll come get you when I’m done, does that sound alright?” I questioned.
“Sure, if there’s anything you need you know where to find me.” She said.
“Ok, I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
Larissa hung up and debated just coming to find me but decided not to be a bother and only come if needed. She sat in her office doing next to nothing, she even considered cleaning, but knew that everything was already spic and span, she knows that, otherwise she wouldn’t give extra pays the the ones who do the impeccable job of keeping her office, classrooms and the school in general tidy.
I haled all of the cupboards from the back of the trailer to their destination and stuck in to placing them on the kick boards screwing them to the walls and putting all of the shelves in them as well as all of the chrome handles on each door. The cupboards themselves were a mix of dark blue and grey, the handles were simple, but all together matched very well with the aesthetic of the rooms. It took only two hours to complete the six and with all of my tools and power cords packed up it was time to deliver the items for Larissa.
With no students around it was quite easy to manoeuvre the two huge items in and up the stairs. With a blanket tucked under my arm I knocked on Larissa’s door. “Come in.” She was sat in her chair with her laptop placed in front of her displaying the fourth round of solitaire. “Hey it’s just me.” I said stepping into the threshold, only opening the door enough to shimmy through so she didn’t see what was behind the doors. “How did you go?” She asked, closing her laptop and turning all of her attention to me. “Really good, all finished, but I’ve got your surprise with me so I’ll show you that first.” I said excitedly, rocking back and forth on my heels. “Do you now?” She questioned. “Yes and you need to close your eyes.” I said. Larissa gave me a hesitant look before finally closing her eyes. “No peeking! I mean it.”
Throwing the blanket in the floor, I turned and went back to the door opening both of them, quickly bringing them inside right in the middle of the room, I picked up the blanket and splayed it across the items. “Open.” I said looking at her. Larissa’s eyes fluttered open before her expression turned confused, she rose from her chair and rounded the table she was sat at. “What is it exactly?” She asked in a low raspy voice. “See for yourself.” I said taking a step back, only now is it that i find myself so incredibly nervous, I hope this isn’t to much, what if she hates them.
Standing fiddling with my hands, I cautiously watch Larissa as she takes slow steps toward whatever was beneath the fabric. She grasped the corner of the blanket and lifted it up gently revealing the vanity I agreed to give her and as told I fixed, well slightly tweaked, I had extended the legs, retouched the paint and polished the top. Larissa let out a breath that sounded like ‘oh’ and faced me with wide eyes. “Is that ok?” I asked. She nodded before saying anything. “I-I…” she started struggling to find words. “Violet.” She managed to whisper as she was taking her time to examine it again as if she hadn’t already seen it before. I wandered slowly beside her. “I know that it’s probably not really your thing but I just thought if you wanted to…” I leaned forward and winded the internal music box that’s located on the side.
The melody of ‘once upon a December’ emanated from within it. “I know it’s kinda sil-.” I said before she cut me off. “No.” I straightened up and looked at her. “No. This is… beautiful, truly.” She said. “You still have another one.” I spoke. Larissa moved a little closer to the next covered item, it was far larger than the vanity, she re-grasped the blanket and completely pulled it off. “Oh my god! Is this!…is this a desk!?- for me?” She asked excitedly, she dropped the cloth to the floor and was just about jumping for joy. “I thought you deserved a better one than that crappy thing you have, do you mind?” I asked. “Do I mind!? Are you serious! Look at it vi, it’s so big and gorgeous.” She giggled and clamped her hands on my shoulders shaking me a little. “Well it’s all yours, your very own big girl desk.” I laughed. “I don’t even know what to say, just- oh thank you darling I love it, I love it so so much.” She said wrapping her arms around me.
I pulled away and tried to hide my red cheeks, Larissa’s hands found purchase together against her chest and I could tell she couldn’t stop grinning. After a while we decided to completely remove her old shitty desk and put her new one in its place doing the same with her vanity. “Hang on, how the hell did you get these up here and in the room with me hearing it?” She asked out of nowhere. I should have been more noisy. “I don’t muck around Larissa, I’m quite strong.” I said hoping she doesn’t pick up on the small lie. Later on once everything was in its place, I led her back down stairs to show her the end result of the installations in the classrooms.
Larissa was ecstatic about all of the work I had done, she feels so greatfull for all the effort I put into each and every piece I had made. It was almost 5pm by the time I walked her up to her office, she couldn’t help but go and touch the desk yet again.
“Stay right here I’ll be back In one moment.” She demanded. I stood in front of the fireplace waiting for her to return from the doors attached to the wall of the office. She came waltzing out and made a b-line for me. “Hold out your hand.” She asked, I did as she requested and place my palm up in the space between us. Larissa laid three stacks of hundred dollar bills in my hand, my eyes widened in shock. “Is 10,000 enough?” She asked. “No.” I said mechanically. “No? Another five?” She asked. “Oh god no! Larissa I don’t want this I don’t want any of it, you’re supposed to give my boss the money.” I said still holding it. “I’ve already paid for the schools components, this is for the desk and vanity, I know how much the materials cost, mahogany isn’t cheep.” She said. I lifted my free hand to reach for one of hers placing the cash back in her hands. “I don’t want or need a dollar of it Larissa, their a gift, you don’t pay for them, the pieces I used were all recycled from past projects, they don’t have any value… but I appreciate the offer.” I said. “You’re being stubborn sweetheart.” She hummed leaning closer and shoving the money in the back pocket of my pants. I had to physically refrain myself from pulling it out and giving it back to her again.
“Would you like a drink? A big girl drink to celebrate my new big girl desk hmm?” She asked rounding me and walking to a cabinet, she pulled out a bottle of red and a decanter of whiskey. “I don’t know I’ll have to think about it… yep thought about it!” I said reaching for the auburn liquid. Larissa passed me a glass to pour the drink into, as well as getting a wine glass for herself, it wasn’t a surprise that she had an entire cabinet full of liquor in her office I know if I had to stress over a thousand students and deal with the shit she does, I’d have the same.
Larissa kicked off her heels being done for the day and stood in front of the fire place. Orange and pink hues lit up the sky outside with bits of blue and purple, the setting sun casting rays into the clouds like perfection, I walked to the bay window in the room and pulled the curtains away to get a better view, Larissa noticed me not being near her and faced my position, she gazed at my form and the way my head involuntarily rolled to the side in appreciation for the the sky. She quietly moved to be beside me, I could feel her presence but I didn’t face her. Still looking out the window, my lips twitched into a small smile, the feeling of gazing at something so beautiful whilst being in the company of someone who’s just as- if not more beautiful, felt delightful, felt wonderful, right.
“You look like you’ve never seen a sunset before.” She mentioned in a quiet voice just above a whisper. “I haven’t… well no, I mean not for a very long time, I always get to work before sunrise and after sunset, on the weekends I try sleep long enough in the morning and in the evening all my curtains are drawn, because of the position it sets.” I said still looking out the window. I could tell Larissa was staring at me but I didn’t acknowledge it. “It is stunning.” She said finally looking out the glass.
Returning in front of the fire place, I put down the glass of whiskey an turn to Larissa who perched herself on the arm chair she dragged over. “What now?” I asked almost solemnly. “What do you mean?” She questioned taking another sip of her drink. “Well I’ve never been this…close to a client before, the jobs are done, everything is paid for… Is this it?” I wondered out loud not necessarily asking her per se, I guess just coming to relise that this is probably the end of whatever kind of relationship we have. Is it personal or still professional?
“I don’t think i would just stop talking to you. We’ve become good friends Violet… don’t you think?” She asked. Good friends, somehow that felt like a kick in the guts, it’s not like… well nevertheless this is good, good friends right? Good good friends. “Yes I agree, it’s just that I don’t have a lot of time to see you, your very busy, I don’t want to burden you with being yet another person you have to talk to.” I said quietly. “Don’t say that, I enjoy your company and look forward to spending time with you.” She spoke. I picked up my glass once again and held it out in front of me. “To being friends then.” I jokingly toasted. Larissa mimicked my actions and we both drank more.
An hour later and two bottles down I was sitting right next to her in another chair, with my boots off and jumper discarded along with them. We shared conversation about her staff and my past colleagues before she changed the subject. “So tell me, what do I not know about you? Five things go.” She asked. “Oh fuck I don’t know, ooh sorry.” I apologised for my language, thank god she doesn’t hear the vile things I say at work. “Um… five things?” I said out loud, at this point I was tipsy and had trouble retaining things that won’t want her to know, just yet at least.
“Uhh, I’m 38. My birthday is this month. Um, my parents are divorced, but I’m sure you put two and two together, they have been since I was 3. I change my hair all the time and…. I adore all kinds of art, drawings, paintings, poetry, music, all of the above really.” I spoke, pouring another glass for myself and topping up hers while I was at it. “You?” I asked. “Wow, I do have questions.” She said. “Mmmm?” I hummed in waiting. “What’s the date of your birthday and what was your previous hair like?” She asked, swirling around the liquid in her glass. “My birthday is the 12th and my hair was dark brown and very long.” I stated. “I honestly can’t picture it.” She said. I laughed at her, I had to remember not to show her a photo.
“Enough about me though I wanna know about you.” I said. “Ok well I’m 48, and my birthday is the 24th of February. I was raised in a ridiculously lavish lifestyle that I don’t usually brag about, with both my parents. And… I’ve looked the same for years not very much has changed. I too love the arts, usually when I go back to London I visit lots of museums and spend hours a day just wandering around them.” She expressed casually. “You’re so… cool, really, you’re so lucky.” I said. “Why?” She giggled. “I don’t know, your freedom, your ability to be so free when you’re alone.” I said. “And your not?” She asked. “No.” I said not elaborating, wanting to move away from the subject.
“I have another question.” I asked. “You don’t have to answer, but if you went here and your the principal… does that make you an outcast to?” I questioned hoping not to seem nosy. “Yes… is that a problem for you?” She asked. “No!” I said a bit to loud. “Not at all, just, wondering… I think it’s extraordinary honestly.” I said hoping to easy her obviously defensive demeanour. “Sorry i shouldn’t pry.” I said. “It’s ok, I knew you would ask eventually.” She smiled. “If you don’t mind me asking- what, are you though, you don’t need to tell me I’m just curious.” I asked. “What do you think I am?” She wondered raising her brows with a smirk.
“Let’s see… I know you’re not a vampire- no fangs, not a werwolf- to tame, clearly not a gorgon- self explanatory, I know you don’t have telekinesis- not very Larissa, that leaves siren or a seer, but that’s still not right.” I said her face grew more amused indicating I’m right, I’m getting warmer. “I don’t think you’re very common… something special, different, rare perhaps.” I said, she slightly eased her shoulders, but shrugging trying not to give anything away. My eyes flicked down to her necklace while I was observing her state, a moment went by and Larissa could see the gears turning in my head, the longer I looked at it the more I realised how much she thinks I’ll never guess, little does she know that I can see her in plain sight. I snap my eyes to hers and grin not saying a thing.
The more I gazed into her eyes my smile spread and Larissa’s faded. “I know what you are.” I whispered. She scoffed in an attempt to make my decision falter. “You seem so sure.” She said. “I am.” I stated. “So what’s your conclusion?” She hummed. “You know it’s very clever to hide your identity you do it very well.” I said leaning into grasp the chain around her neck. “But not clever enough… remember when I said your necklace was personally made? I should have realised then.” I traced the metal with my thumb, my eyes boring holes into hers. “You my dear are a shapeshifter.” I said knowing I just won this twisted and unspoken game.
“Very good, your no fool.” She said averting her gaze and taking a large gulp of wine. I sat back relaxing against the back of the chair, my chest flushed and fluttering from the close proximity and the reality of the situation. “Do you have another secret I can know?” I asked randomly to break the silence, still up for conversation. “What kind of secret?” She questioned, seemingly un-apposed to continue. “how about love interest, anyone your interested in or have loved in the past?” I asked pretty care free, the alcohol clearly the one talking. “Oh god. No im not really interested in anyone im married to my career, past loves, that is a whole other story. A whole other story.” She said. “Tell me? Please?” I asked. “Well it’s complicated, maybe another time.” She said quietly. “No I respect that, but it always is isn’t it… complicated.” “Always.” She replied.
More hours went by just talking and drinking, it was never my intention to get drunk, just saying that sounds ridiculous, I hardly ever drink and when I do I still have a high tolerance, safe to say I’ve drank enough alcohol within a couple of hours to last a week’s hangover. Larissa was to, not that would ever admit, so much for me being the stubborn one, she was giddy though and I couldn’t stop laughing, if I was sober and sat back watching as a different person I’d be repulsed, but than again I don’t have it in me to care.
Thinking it was a great idea I stood and fell on my ass-Well my ass fell on her. I was trying to walk around Larissa but my knee gave way and I fell into her lap. “Shit! oh my god sorry.” I said laughing, Larissa wrapped her hand around me to stabilise, but she held onto my waist and wouldn’t let me get up. “It’s ok.” She said trailing her hand further to my hip. My cheeks burned, blushing like an idiot, Larissa didn’t say another word, her eyes flicking around the room, I could feel her stiffen as I tried to get up again, but she tightened the grip, her face to was a shade of pink I was lucky to see through the orange glow of the room. “Stay.” She said, but it wasn’t sexual or flirty in any manner, it almost sounded like a sad plea.
If she wouldn’t let me go I may as well get comfortable, I wrapped my arm around her neck and rolled my hips sideways so I was just about hugging her, I rested my head on my bicep and let my feet dangle over the side of the chair. “I’m really heavy, are you sure you’re ok?” I asked. “Yes.” She whispered her gaze now set on the fire, A minute later she spoke again. “You’re not heavy either.” She said. I could feel myself slightly sobering up and hear my heart beating In my ears. I lifted my head so my chin was resting on my arm as well as shifting my elbow manoeuvring my hand to gently stroke her hair. “God you’re so pretty, you know that.” I whispered accidentally letting it slip whilst looking in her dark blue eyes. She turned her head to look at me, her gaze unfaltering and expression melancholy.
Subtly moving again her shoulders caught my attention, how I didn’t notice before was beyond me. “Ohh, you have little freckles.” I said grinning using my free hand to trace her skin, halting my movements on her hair. “They’re like little stars kissing your skin.” I whispered, my eyes unable to retain the average amount of liquid as they became glassy from the heightened emotions, silly I know but for someone who hardly gets emotional over something someone else would find a common thing to be upset or happy about, it’s a big deal.
Larissa was feeling so many thing in that moment, although it was anything but relaxed, she was calm but also a bit nervous and insecure, for the longest time she hasn’t had the privilege of being called such nice things like pretty, or such admiration towards what’s she deems as flaws, because that’s what she saw and heard, admiration. She isn’t just looking in my eyes when I say them, she’s peering into my soul, finding nothing but kind and pure intentions behind every word. Many people thought she ought to be a cunning woman who’s only goal is to be in control and do what ever she can to get her way, in some aspect it was true but she wasn’t a horrid, selfish or malicious person, behind the layers of professionalism she was just Larissa Weems. Rissa. Just Rissa.
I hadn’t seen my oversized work shirt gape at the front, not until I relised Larissa was looking, but in her line of sight wasn’t my bra nor cleavage, it was the stretch marks. Once it clicked, I sat up and removed my arm from around her and shot up swaying a little. Larissa was startled at the sudden movement and stood, her brows came together in confusion and also fright, hoping that what she did wasn’t what scared you away, but she was wrong. Panic riddled my being, I was becoming short of breath and the alcohol didn't help. "I-I'm sorry Violet, please forgive me that was utterly wrong of me to do I apologise." She said fiddling with her fingers on either side of herself. "Please... please forget you saw them." I whispered just about inaudible, but loud enough for her to hear. "What?" She breathed. "I don't-I don't want you to see them." I said looking at my feet. "No I should have not been looking at your br-... oh... oh." She realised it wasn't what she thought, she did infact look at the marks but only for a moment not even long enough to process what she was doing, this is worse, Larissa's stomach churned and her heart tinged at the thought of me panicking because of natural marks on my skin. "Oh darling, I- I wasn't, I wasn't judging, please you have to believe me." She said taking a step forward, I took a step back.
I spun around and picked up my jumper and shoes off the floor and clutched the boots, throwing the piece of clothing on, I struggled for a moment before it finally slipped over my head. "What are you doing?" She asked. "I need to go, I need to go home." I said. "No please it's late, you've had to much to drink you can't drive... just... stay, you can stay here." She said hopefully. She could see my jaw tensing and it was making her more anxious. "Don't bite so hard sweetheart." She said knowingly. I did stop but I still debated just going home, call a cab or a fucking Uber and leave.
I let out a breath i knew i was holding and dropped my shoes to the side. Larissa did the same exhaling slowly, she took another step towards me so slow as if I'd run away if she moved to quickly. It didn't take long until she reached me and grasped my hand. "Come on I'll put you to bed." I absentmindedly flowed her to the doors that access her quarters. I didn't look around the only thing I saw was the floor and then the edge of the bed. Larissa sat me down and retrieved a pair of pyjamas, a glass of water and meds. "Here you can have these to change into, and have the tablets you'll feel ok in the morning." She had another set of tablets for herself and took them taking sip from the glass than passed it to me giving my own meds. "You don't mind that I had some?" She asked. "No I don't mind." I said with my voice breaking a little.
Larissa let me be to change and came back from her bathroom in her own pyjamas and her hair in a lose braid. She walked over to the other side of the bed and reached over to grab my clothes and place them on a nere by chair making sure to pull out the cash and wrap it into my jumper, when she came back Larissa grabbed a pillow and tucked it under her arm and grabbed the throw at the end of the bed. Turning off the large light and leaving on the lamp she paced to the doorway and turned around. "You think you will be ok?" She asked. "Where are you going?" I wondered. “I’m just going to sleep on the futon in the office.” She said as if I was supposed to know that. “No you’re not, you’re sleeping in your bed, I- I’m… not going to allow you to sleep elsewhere in your own home, otherwise I’m just going to leave, unless you want me to sleep out there.” I expressed. Larissa walked back towards the other side of the bed and threw the pillow and blanket back in place and ungraciously fell into bed. I sat up and pulled the covers over myself and her, I practically just tucked her in, making sure she had enough blanket and pulled it up and over her chest leaving her arm out, she was laying in her side facing me and eyeing my movements, curious, she thought.
In all honesty it’s been a very long time since I’ve consumed so much alcohol, I’m glad I don’t feel sick, a part of me is greatfull that I have an excuse to stay but another part is still trying to retreat. Don’t get too close, she will dispose of you, you know what happened last time Violet. Apart of me vaguely thought. Larissa was cautiously watching me as my brows came together in a distasteful manner she wondered what I was thinking, but failed to ask. I rolled over to turn off the lamp beside me and got comfortable again in my original position laying on my side to face her.
Mindlessly I reach for the hem of her satin sleeve on Larissa exposed arm, playing with it for a while I push it upward to reveal her freckled arms again, I can still see them, so clear, so golden in the silver moonlight. The domesticity of how uncannily stunning just one little part of her is, just about bring tears to my eyes. I trace over them again raising goosebumps to the surface of her skin, once I’d had enough and my arm was burning I let myself steal a glance at her, only to find Larissa had already been gazing at me. Feeling the blood rush to my face I went to turn over, however she stopped me from doing so by grasping my shoulder.
It wasn’t just me admiring, Larissa had watched the entire time I was kindly examining, she’s not sure why, but when I’m near her she can’t help but feel so secure, so safe, so… cared for. When she grasped my shoulder to stop me from rolling over, her fingers involuntarily gripped harder to feel the muscle she didn’t acquire, when she found herself doing it Larissa revoked her hand. Her hair is what I focused on, not wanting to hold eye contact, it’s the same colour as the moon itself, just as bright, just as alluring, I stretched out to move the loose bit of hair around her forehead and continued the path all the way to the end of her braid.
What surprised me was that she did exactly the same to me, brushing the bits of hair that had fallen from my ponytail out of my eyes and behind my ear. This time, I looked at her, I really looked at her, taking in every single detail of her face, every line and wrinkle, her eyes. I wish I could see her without makeup. She still adorned makeup but didn’t have her lipstick on, the red stain is what’s left. Larissa let me grab her cheek and stroke it, I ever so slightly brushed my thumb over her cheekbone caressing it carefully almost as if I would hurt her. “I’m scared, I’m so scared.” I said as a breathless whisper. Larissa stayed silent but I could see her wordlessly asking me to elaborate, I shouldn’t have let that out, she doesn’t understand what I mean, I hope she doesn’t, I don’t want her to.
Larissa’s eyes scanned over my features again and she let out a shaky exhale. “I know.” She said, well then. I closed my eyes and moved closer to rest my forehead against hers. Still stroking her face I jutted my chin forward slowly, only a strand of hair widths away from her lips, our breaths deep and thorough. I pulled away to ask permission, Larissa opens her eyes and nodded knowing what I wanted to ask. I leaned back in brushing her lips with my own, she didn’t hold her breath and embraced the moment, both of us letting it happen, Violet… Larissa had grasped my waist trying to pull me closer but I arched my back trying to move away from her touch. Stop now. I did everything to keep that fucking voice at bay, I want this, she seems to want this but I can’t do it. Kissing Larissa was the best experience, the softness of her lips, the alcohol I could taste, she was my every sense, touch, taste, smell, even with my eyes closed I could see her, hear her.
VIOLET STOP. Larissa’s hand just landed on my hip before I ripped away from her completely. I rolled over trying to catch my breath, guilt came gnawing, I squeezed my eyes shut so hard the insides of my eye lids became kaleidoscopic, Larissa was confused, had she done something wrong? Did i not want this? For a while she say laying in the same position just staring at my back, the way she felt so uneasy as to what to do now, does she leave? Does she stay? Her internal questioning was put to a slow when I reached behind me and found her hand, I intertwined our fingers and pulled her arm to wrap under my elbow.
Larissa let out a breath that ghosted over my neck and shoulder, releasing the pent up adrenaline. The longer we stayed there the more I let myself melt into her touch, my back against her front, the sound of her heartbeat. I wish I hadn’t done what I did, but I also know it was the right thing to do. Safe to say the both of us are snapped back to sober at this point and with the alcohol wearing off it won’t take long for sleep to overtake me.
In many, many years this will be the first time I go to bed and I’m not alone, I don’t need a pillow to give the support that isn’t enough, I don’t need back round noise to interject the raging thoughts and loneliness. I have her, I have Larissa, this may be the last time but I know to cherish every fucking second whether I’m in the waking world or not. Her embrace is comforting and gentle, her touch is soft and soothing, as of now I’m going to let myself succumb to sleep and work out what’s going on tomorrow. Once Larissa knew I was asleep she placed a kiss to my shoulder and whispered.
‘goodnight sweetheart.’
@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar @giogwensversion @sabraaabra @readingtheentrails
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semisolidmind · 1 year
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(hey @skittlescripts and @theweepingegg , saw a design for evil wukong and now im having some thoughts )
ok so. bad end monkey king. scary dude. you thought he was morally gray before, hoo boy
like what if he never went on the journey at all, never wanted or tried to become more than a monster? what if on the og journey, he was one of the demons that wanted to eat the monk? or in lmk, he's one of the big bads? (and maybe his role in the journey and lmk is filled by macaque instead-)
in the case of Isekai'd, he trails the gang, messing with them for fun and trying to find a way to easily get at the monk. he just needs to beat macaque, the other three demons won't be a problem. but from what wukong's seen, his fellow monkey demon is rather protective of the reader and the monk, never leaving their sides for long and constantly listening.
so, he makes moves to get closer to the reader, likely dressing more plainly and hiding his distinctive facial markings so she won't recognize him. at first it's a pretty standard "get you to like me so you won't put up as much of a fight later on" type of deal, but wukong comes to enjoy reader's wit and willingness to stand up to him. she's also just genuinely kind to him, something he doesn't get a lot of, being a universally-feared demon. so, his plans...
...change a little bit.
wukong knows he's the stronger demon, but he wants a clean shot. he sheds his disguise, macaque and the disciples fight him, and though they fight their hardest, the gang loses...
...and wukong throws a terrified, crying reader over his shoulder, dragging the bodies of her companions and protector behind him as he flies back to his mountain.
"Game over, Peaches.♡"
OR
in lmk, macaque's trying to keep reader safe and away from villain wukong.
current reader is the reincarnation of the reader from the journey and sun wukong has been waiting for her return so he can make her properly immortal this time. at first she's friends with the noodle gang, maybe she even works with them. MK's her lil buddy, practically her younger brother, and one day his mentor, macaque (who up until this point has been a casually flirtatious presence in her life), busts into her apartment at night telling her she has to leave with him. somebody incredibly dangerous is coming for her now that he knows she exists, and mac's her best bet at escaping him.
from then on, she's constantly in hiding. although, somehow, wukong always manages to find her, no matter how well she's hidden and how many protective seals macaque casts on her. eventually it all comes to a head.
"Leave us be, Monkey King!" Macaque snarled.
"Gladly. After you return my Queen."
"I am not your queen!" Reader exasperated. "I never was! Why can't you just let this go?!"
"Because you were always gonna be mine, sweet peach. I missed my chance a thousand years ago. I'm not going to lose you again."
"Although," The Monkey King laughed lowly. He raised his staff to point at the other monkey demon.
"You've caused me quite a bit of trouble. I was just going to take her and let you off with a warning, but you've been a thorn in my side for a loooong time, Six Ears. I think it's about time I put you down permanently."
(maybe there's a bit where reader is refusing the immortality elixir or peach and wukong puts it into his mouth, and then forces it into reader's mouth with a kiss 👀 now she's stuck with him)
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kvthgok · 6 months
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Pain In the Ass | Miguel O’Hara x Teen Spider Reader (Platonic obv)
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Warnings- none
Summary- Miguel scolds you for going on a mission he told you not to go on but you had enough of it
Side note- OMMLLL I HAVENT WROTE IN SOOO LONG IM SO SORRY YALL 💀🙏. ANYWAYYYSSSSSSS this one takes a lil just a lil turn Yk 🌝 OKAY ILL SHUT UP ENJOY THIS OR DONT IDC 🤍 (Not Proof Read hehe)
Miguel was always busy with dealing with a multiverse falling apart, so he didn't have much time to deal with his rebellious kid.
Basically you.
Miguel was standing on the platform where he was looking at all the floating holographic screens , not realizing that his kid had once again escaped for like the 100th time today. . .
"Chinga tu madre. . ." He muttered and groaned to himself when he noticed that you weren't in your usual spot in his big “man cave’” as you would call it when you were younger
Miguel took a deep breath.
He sighed "Lyla, where is my kid?"
Lyla appeared, “tsk tsk your always losing your her Miguel” she said annoying him
Miguel pinched his bridge of his nose, “just tell me where she’s at lyla” clearly getting pissed off
Lyla rolled her eyes in her normal sassy way, “she’s in another universe fighting an anomaly—you know the one you told her not to go fight” she said looking up from her phone
Miguel rolled his eyes, "I give this kid one rule... "Pendeja, I told her to stay away from that anomaly!“" He muttered under his breath.
Miguel sighed, wondering what he had done to deserve having such a rebellious child
"Lyla, call the others. Make sure they know there is an anomaly in that universe."
Miguel sighed deeply, annoyed at how his daughter constantly disobeyed him.
"I didn’t sign up to be a father to be disobeyed constantly. I told her to stay away from that anomaly and now she’s in trouble. She never listens to a single word I say. She’s so impulsive, I swear to god..."
Miguel clearly irritated from my rebellious actions opens up a portal to that universe you were in
He saw you flying and fighting the anomaly. He had to admit it for my age you were better than the other at the Spider Society.
After a few minutes you got done and tied the anomaly up with your spider webs and you were about to open a portal back to the HQ spider society until you saw Miguel. “Oh hey” you said giving him a nervous smile and laugh “funny seeing you here” scratching the back of your neck. Meanwhile Miguel eyes were practically turning red he was super livid.
Miguel was furious as he walked up to you.
"I gave you one rule and you broke it. Now tell me. . . Why did you go to that anomaly after I explicitly told you not to?"
“Cause you told me explicitly not to go” You said
"And you thought that was a good idea?"
Miguel was still furious but he was trying not to yell."That anomaly could've killed you! There was a reason why I didn't want you to go near it!"
Starting to get pissed you said,“But guess What? It didn’t kill me” You went through the portal back to the HQ spider society carrying the anomaly and handing it off to another Spider-women with Miguel following through
Miguel was still angry as they both made their way through the portal.
"You know the rules... Yet you still can't manage to follow them. . . You know... I've been too easy with you. I need to actually do something about your disobedience this time."
"Give me your web shooters."
“What no” you scoffed turning around
"Hand. Them. Over. Now."
Miguel was getting angrier by the second. He wasn't playing this time.
"I gave you these to assist you with your duties and to protect you from danger."
"Obviously, you can't do that. So, you won't be needing them."
You mocked him, “yeah yeah whatever “ still not handing them over
You tried to pull away but failed as Miguel grabbed your web shooters and pulled them off. You were furious but knew better then to argue with him.
Miguel rolled his eyes.
"You could've just given them to me."
"...But no. You just HAD to be a pain in the ass and make it difficult for no reason."
He sighed.
"Lyla, make sure you keep a close eye on her for the next couple of days. She's clearly not capable of following simple rules and needs some level of supervision."
Lyla appeared and sighed.
"Oh great, this is going to be fun."
Lyla then turned to you.
"Miguel is right, you know. You need to do a better job at listening to him. I get that it can be tough having a strict father, but rules exist for a reason. You can't just go breaking all of his rules whenever you feel like it. That's not how it works, Y/n."
You glared at Lyla.
Lyla looked at you un-phased by your glaring.
"I'm just saying, Y/n. You could do a lot better at listening to Miguel, especially when he's asking you to do something that's for your safety."
"I know you're a smart kid and you have potential, so I'm confident that you can improve at listening to Miguel."
You completely snapped,“Look he isn’t even my father he’s just another version of my dad from another universe. My REAL father is dead in my universe. And Miguel thinks I’m some replacement cause he can’t accept the fact that HIS REAL daughter is dead. I’m not some sort of second chance for you to be a dad again I hope your remember that Miguel. If anything he’s the REAL Pain In the Ass for thinking he always has to watch me like a hawk everywhere I go”
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Request: all day i’ve been thinking about harry x reader who matilda is about, maybe reader was a fan before they met, they somehow started dating, and i just neeeeed to know your opinion on her first reaction to the song
Omgggg I adore this!! Thank you so much for the request!! I hope this is okay, and what you were looking for!! ❤️‍🩹 apologies for the delay and not writing!! Life has been crazy.
Im sorry but I literally LOVE the line ‘I know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go’ thats such a beautiful multilayered thing to say, like- don’t hold onto the people who hurt you… just let them go. Gods it’s so beautiful I can’t 😩🥹
You can let it go
It was safe to say you always struggled with your mental health. You were constantly battling that alongside your family. Your family weren’t the best. Sure they took care of you, but didn’t look after you properly. They didn’t make you feel loved… it hurt you terribly. But then you met Harry and your family became nonexistent. Harry became the light in your life, your happiness, your world, your absolute joy… you remembered the time you told him about your family. How he listened. Holding your hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it oh so delicately as he nodded occasionally as if to show that he was listening… he actually cared and that broke you yet made you beyond happy all at once, you remembered how frightened you were to open up to him. To tell him that your family didn’t take care of you… that you were lost… but in the end it was the best thing you could’ve done for it opened up the fact that you were struggling. He acted as your life jacket: he saved your life.
You had been a fan of Harry for years, you never thought you’d meet him but you did and well the rest is history… you and him hit it off pretty quickly and immediately began dating but you both kept your relationship with each other out of the public eye. It was easier that way. Privacy was important to the both of you. You were sat in your bedroom that you shared with Harry, the man had been on his phone nonstop and it was starting to really worry you. Sure you struggled with abandonment issues but it wasn’t necessarily your fault. You had experienced nothing but horrendous treatment from your family and it was frankly something you didn’t like to look back on.
“You know you’re kind of freaking me out” you murmur towards him, his emerald green eyes instantly meeting with yours his expression softening “I’m sorry baby… I’m just getting permission for something real quick.” He spoke eyes returning to his phone and you gave him an exasperated look clearly confused and worried all at once. What seemed like hours passed by but really only a couple minutes passed Harry’s lips tugging upwards into a warm smile before he stood up “come with me” he spoke extending his hand out towards you, you quickly taking his hand as he walked with you downstairs and guiding you gently into the living room,
“Sit”
He spoke softly and you sat down watching as he turned on the speaker that was situated just beside the tv, connecting his phone to it “you ready sweetheart?” He glanced at you and you only nodded, still a bit worried and soon enough Harry had set his phone down onto the table coming to sit beside you as a beautiful melodic tune began, echoing from the speaker and wrapping around you like a warm comforting hug your heart suddenly threatening to jump out of your chest… a new song. You licked over your lips anxiously immediately melting into Harry’s side as he held you close his slender fingertips stroking just against your hair as he began pressing soft kisses to the top of your head.
You were riding your bike to the sound of “it’s no big deal.” And you’re trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels. Nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming ‘til now. So you tie up your hair and smile like it’s no big deal. You can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know not invite your family cause they never showed you love, don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up.
Tears suddenly brimmed your eyes a shaky breath leaving your lips as you sank further into Harry’s side, your lower lip trembling as he began rubbing soothing circles against your back… he said that the first time you opened up to him. “Don’t worry about them y/n. This is their loss. You don’t have to be sorry for leaving.” A lump formed in your throat as you held onto harry tighter your knuckles turning white from the grip you had on his T-shirt your chest aching,
Matilda you talk of the pain like it’s all alright. But I know that you feel like a piece of you’s dead inside. You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days. It’s none of my business but it’s just been on my mind…
A tear trailed down your cheek finally as a sob bubbled from your throat, your head falling onto his shoulder… it reminded you how before you and him started dating he would always ask why you didn’t want to go home… he knew it was none of his business but he was worried about you and it wouldn’t leave his mind. It was beautiful… he had written this song about you. About your troubles. About what made you feel weak. What terrified you… and he turned it into something truly beautiful and it was honestly leaving you awe-struck. He converted your pain from agony and sobbing all through the night in his embrace to something comforting… that it was in fact alright that you didn’t want to waste your time on the family that showed you no love what so ever.
You can let it go. You can throw a party full of everyone you know, not invite your family cause they never showed you love. You don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up, you can see the world following the seasons anywhere you go you don’t need a reason cause they never showed you love don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own. Your just in time make your tea and your toast…
That line was significant to you. You always arrived a little later than expected but always nearly on time at Harry’s house and he would make you tea and toast, every single time, and you’d both have a catch up because you couldn’t leave your home at that time… Harry guided you through the process and helped you leave. He never gave up on you. Never.
You don’t have to go. You don’t have to go home, there’s a long way to go. I don’t believe that time will change your mind. In other words I know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go. You can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own. You can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love you don’t have to be sorry, no….
Your tearful eyes moved to look at Harry who had the same look in his eyes yet he looked so fucking proud. Whether that be pride in his song… or pride in you. “Do I have permission from you to release this song onto my album?” Your lower lip trembled as you nodded your head quickly wrapping your arms around him holding onto him tightly not daring to let go of him as soft sobs left your lips, his large hand stroking up and down your back as he gripped onto you tightly “you can let it go… okay sweetheart?” You didn’t answer, instead holding onto him tighter, not daring to let go your fingers curling into his hair your breathing shaky as your sobs continued escaping your lips. “I love it so much… it’s so beautiful… s-so comforting…” he pressed continuous kisses to your head not letting you go as he rocked you back and forth ever so slightly “I love you so much y/n.” He murmured against your head gently and you smiled weakly, emotions continuing to smash against you rather roughly “I love you so much too Harry… thank you. Thank you for sav-“ “shh. I didn’t do that y/n. You did all of that. You did.” He pulled back looking into your eyes gently pointing one finger against your chest “you, did all of it. You left the home… yet you remained strong. And that was all you.” His hand caressed against your cheek and you smiled lower lip continuing to tremble before you leaned in pressing a kiss to his lips keeping you lips against his “you. Saved. My. Life.” You spoke against his lips before you hugged him again, now sprawled out on his lap his hands rubbing up and down your sides holding you lovingly not daring to let go of you making sure you knew you were loved. Because you were and are so so loved.
Never forget that. You are loved. Never apologise for doing what’s right for you. Love yourselves.
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irkimatsu · 7 days
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i just read the “rough sex, Husk catching feeling” story of yours & im wondering if you could pretty please make a part 2 🙏
I really thought this was going to end up smutty, but I decided in the end that it wasn't what Husk needed in the moment. He's got feelings, too, and sometimes he just needs a hug. They can fuck again later, it's fine.
Third person, not quite NSFW but still has some spice to it. A sequel to this post. Shoutout to @thorteddy for the original prompt!
It had been about a week since he’d last seen her.
It wasn’t a terribly long time; she’d had her stints before where she’d drop by constantly for a month or so, then vanish for a few weeks. Husk never worried too much when that happened. He simply figured she had other things to be doing. It wasn’t like they were close enough for him to care what she did away from the hotel.
They were close enough to fuck when she dropped by. Just not close enough for him to care where she was otherwise..
At least, they weren’t until Angel had to go and open his mouth.
“I wonder if she lets other guys fuck her like that or if you’ve got special privileges.”
He hadn’t been able to shake that thought ever since Angel said that. Did she see other people? What would stop her from that? Surely not him. He never told her he wanted to be exclusive with her or anything. Why the hell would he have said that in the first place? They were just friends who helped each other with stress relief, and that was all.
Even as he thought that, he couldn’t help but stare at the front door of the hotel as he cleaned up for the night, wondering if this time she’d come through those doors to see him again.
She didn’t. With a frustrated growl, he slammed the last batch of glasses onto the shelf, somehow not breaking any, and stalked off to his bedroom for another night alone.
It’d be another four frustrating days until he’d see her again.
It hadn’t even been two weeks since their last intense session, and yet for Husk, it seemed like forever since he held her in his arms. His claws lightly combed through her hair as he kissed her, while her own hands focused their affection on his chest.
“You don’t normally focus on kissing this long,” she observed with a laugh. “You feeling all right?”
Had he been lingering here for so long? He’d lost track of time. “What’s wrong with that?” he protests. “I like kissing ya.”
“I know you do,” she said as she climbed into his lap. “I know what other things you like doing to me, too…” She grabbed his cheeks - fuck her hands were so warm, why was that such a good spot for her to touch - and pulled him in for another kiss. She shifted her hips and started rocking into his waist, moaning as she rubbed against his bulge.
“Hey…” Husk gently grabbed her waist and slid her away from his erection. “Hold on.”
“Are you okay, Husk?” she asked, brow furrowed. “Is something bothering you?”
He took a deep breath before letting that burning question tumble out of his mouth.
“Do you ever fuck anyone besides me?” he asked, so bluntly and out of nowhere that she couldn't help but laugh.
“Husk! Where is this coming from? What, do you have an interested friend? Maybe you want to try a threesome?” She cooed this last suggestion while dragging a finger down Husk’s chest. Her attitude almost got him to pounce her, if only his head wasn’t such a mess right now.
“Was just wonderin’...” he asked as his ears drooped. “It’s not a big deal.”
“I mean… don’t you?” she asked in return. “Surely I’m not the only drunk you’ve picked up in a bar.”
Husk is certain his silence speaks volumes.
“Husk…” She climbed out of Husk’s lap, now that he’s made it clear that this isn’t a good time. “Should I go?”
“No,” Husk said, instinctively grabbing her wrist. “Stay.”
“Did you want to keep making out?” she asked as she sat down beside him.
“...I don’t know what I want,” he admitted after a heavy sigh. “What are we? What am I to you?”
“We’re fuckbuddies!” she responded with a laugh, making Husk’s ears flatten further. “That’s what you wanted, right? When we first met you said you weren’t looking for anything serious, and I wasn’t either, so…” Upon noticing Husk’s discomfort, she spoke more gently. “Isn’t it what you wanted…?”
“I’ve been through a lot of shit, you know?” Husk said. “I’m a divorced old man, and the only mistake my wife ever made in our marriage was not leaving me sooner. I didn’t have relationships figured out with her, and I sure as hell never figured them out after that. It’s hard to when you’re a fucking drunk with a gambling problem. Who’d want to get close to something like that?” He started regretting not bringing a drink up here with him like he normally did when alone. “Of course I wasn’t looking for something else when I met you. I can’t handle anything else.
…but I don’t know if I can handle this, either.”
“Handle what?” she asked, not quite understanding.
“...look. I’m sorry, but I can’t keep seeing you. I’m lying to myself if I try to keep it casual, but I sure as hell can’t drag you down with me.” He sighed again as he let go of her wrist. “You should just go.”
He sat waiting for the bed to lift in her absence. The sensation never came.
Instead, a set of claws started gently rubbing his back. Not so close to his wings to get him frustrated, and not deep with desperate need; just a calming, circular stroke.
“I don’t know if I can do it, either,” she admitted. “Relationships, I mean. It’s been a long time, and I’ve got my own baggage… but can I tell you something?”
“Hm?” Husk didn’t look at her as she spoke.
“It’s true, you’re not the only guy I’ve been with recently…”
Not what he wanted to hear. It took all his willpower not to bristle his fur and growl in jealousy over something that wasn’t even his.
“...but you’re the only one I see regularly.” She scooted closer to him to rest his head on your shoulder. “I don’t know… there’s just something about you. Something I want to know more about. Sure, I’ve been physically attracted to other guys, but I didn’t want to get to know them like I want to know you.”
Husk scoffed. “There’s really not that much to know about me. I’m an old drunk who screwed up my life, and now I’m stuck here.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” she said. “You can’t live as long as you have without having some interesting stories!”
“Is that what you really wanna do?” he asked. “Lay in an old man’s bed while he tells you stories?”
“Who says we only have to see each other in bed?” she asked. “It’s not like you can’t be seen in public with me, can it?”
“Well, no…”
“Then take me on a date tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be anything special. Just show me a place you like, where we can get to know each other. Would you enjoy that?”
Taking her out on a date… maybe a nice lunch at a music hall… Husk couldn’t help but smile at that idea. “Okay. It’s a date.”
“Sounds good!” she said, her bright smile chasing away even a little bit of the dark cloud that always loomed over Husk’s mind. “As for tonight… did you still wanna?”
Husk felt pathetic before the words even left his mouth. “...can we just cuddle tonight?”
Instead of shaming him for the uncharacteristic request for affection, she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed. “Of course. Cuddling sounds nice.”
“...and can you stay until morning this time?”
“I’ll stay,” she promised, sealing it with a kiss on his cheek.
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forever-rogue · 1 year
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hi i really love all your stories and i wanted to request a steve harrington x reader. my ex boyfriend was huge asshole and would constantly make fun or make me feel bad about almost anything like my music taste or quirks i do when im nervous and it really messed with me after we broke up and i was wondering if u could write a story where steve notices and is just a big sweetheart about it and comforts you. thanks 💚
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AN | First of all, I’m sorry anyone ever made you feel like that bb, no one deserves that. Secondly, Steve remains the best, change my mind 🥺
Warnings | Language, Discussions of bad past relationships
Pairing | Steve x Fem!Reader
Word Count | 3.7k
Masterlist | Steve, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"Can I ask you something?" 
Why was it that singular question that always made your anxiety spike up immediately? Your heart skipped a few beats before slamming against your ribcage as you looked at your boyfriend with wide eyes.
"Y-yeah," you choked on the single syllable as you tried to put on a calm face. Ugh. He should have known better than that. That was a general life fact - you don't ask that question, "what is it?"
He paused for a few, an affectionate chuckle leaving his lips as he reached over and put a warm hand on your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek. You couldn't help the fact that you preened into his gentle touch, "I'm not going to ask you anything bad. And don't even lie and say you weren't worried, I saw the look on your face!"
"I…wasn't lying," you smiled meekly as he raised an eyebrow. You playfully scoffed, trying to hide your face in your hands, feeling warm all over under his intense scrutiny.
"Nuh uh," his hands wrapped your wrists with ease as he pulled your hands away from your face, "no hiding from me, pretty girl."
"Steve…" your lips formed a cute little pout as you looked at him shyly. He hadn't even said anything but his look made you so nervous. You wanted to crawl in on yourself more than anything, "just ask…please."
"Don't take this the wrong way, okay?" Oh no. You didn't like the sound of that, but nodded anyway, "I've just noticed that…sometimes you don't seem to have much of an opinion on things. Like.. maybe that's not quite the right way to put it…more like you don't share your opinion. Why?"
"What do you mean?" well. You'd been dreading this moment. The moment that Steve Harrington realized you were nothing but a boring, pathetic girl. You swallowed the lump in your throat, already feeling the tears stinging at the back of your eyes, "I-I like lots of things, ya know?"
"I know but…they always seem to be the things I like," he shrugged lightly and you could tell there was no malice in his words, "I'm sure we do like a lot of the same things but what about you? Just you?"
"Steve."
"I know so much about you," his voice was so gentle that it almost hurt. You almost would have preferred for him to yell at you or sound mad or something, "but there's still so much I want to learn. It almost feels like you're hiding a part of yourself from me."
"I'm not hiding anything from you," you scoffed and shook your head. Your faze shifted away. Unable to look at him any longer, knowing you'd see hurt in those pretty eyes you loved so much, "its nothing, Steve. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not trying to upset you,” he went to put his hand on your shoulder but you flinched out of his touch, “I just…I don’t know, I want you to feel comfortable with telling me anything. And I feel you’re holding back sometimes. You know you don’t have to do that for me.”
“If you feel that way, then why are you with me?” you stood up and off the couch before he could get a word in, your eyes threatening to spill over with tears. You hadn’t meant to snap at him; seeing the worried look on his face broke your heart, “I-I…I’m sorry, Steve. I gotta go.”
You were up and away, leaving his house as quickly as possible without even giving him a chance to catch up. The worst part of all was that you didn’t even have your own car; he’d picked you up. But that didn’t stop you from almost running down the street. By the time Steve had caught up with what was going on, you’d already disappeared far enough to where his shouts of your name were nothing but a soft, panicked sound in the distance.
This day couldn’t have gotten any worse. And you might just have lost the best thing that ever happened to you.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You managed to avoid Steve for three whole days. They were the longest and worst days of your life, but that was beside the point. It seemed like after a harrowing seventy-two hours apart, neither of you could stand it any longer. Maybe Robin had been right - maybe you really were just fools disgustingly in love with each other. 
You’d decided that you were going to head over Family Video to talk to Steve; the fact that it was the middle of his shift didn’t even phase you.
Steve had decided that he was going to come and see you, at least wanting to try and find you, and if you weren’t home he would have waited. 
The two of you almost ran into each other on the steps in front of your house. You’d both had the same idea - you couldn’t stand being apart. 
“Steve,” his name fell from your lips like sweet honey and the boy almost melted at the sound. He’d been deprived of hearing your voice, of hearing you say his name for too long. 
“Sweetheart,” his honey brown eyes softened immediately as he looked you over and realized that you were okay. He hesitated, unsure of what he should do, what you would allow him to do. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, but also didn’t want to push your boundaries. But you didn’t hesitate to throw your arms around him, pulling him to your frame as tightly as possible. He was surprised by the warmth in your action but didn’t hesitate to return it. You buried your face in his chest, letting his touch, and smell overwhelm him.
“I’m sorry,” your voice was muffled by the soft fabric of his polo shirt as he squeezed you just a little tighter, “I’m so sorry. I should have snapped at you and I shouldn’t have run away like that. ‘m sorry.”
“No,” he kissed the side of your head, closing his eyes as he breathed in the familiar scent of your fruity shampoo and perfume, “don’t apologize. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“B-but,” you pulled back from him, and he could feel your body  shaking lightly as your lips trembled with effort as you tried not to cry. His large, warm hands cradled your face tenderly as he brushed his thumb over your cheek, wiping away the tears you hadn’t even realized had run down your face, “I was awful to you. You asked me a simple question and I just snapped.”
“You weren’t awful,” he promised and despite his reassurance, you still didn’t feel any better. It was almost infuriating how golden hearted he was sometimes, “we had a minor…hiccup, but that’s it. We’ll get through it.”
“Y-you’re not breaking up with me?” your lips were drawn into a pretty pout and Steve couldn’t help but chuckle fondly as he shook his head. You’d been slowly coming to terms with the fact that he was going to dump you and you were going to have to learn how to leave without him. But apparently that hadn’t even crossed his mind, “are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“Why?” your question was so soft and sweet that it brought a smile to his face. You’d always be his silly, beautiful girl.
“Because I’m so in love with you,��� he leaned in so he could brush his nose against yours, “and you don’t just quit on those you love. You’re not going to get rid of me that easily, sweetheart. When I said I was yours forever, I meant it.”
“I meant it too,” you whispered softly, “I love you, Steve. So much…”
“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?” a huff of nervous laughter escaped his lips as you pulled back ever so slightly, creating a small but noticeable distance between your bodies, “sweetheart?”
“But…” he knew you so well, sometimes it was almost scary, “I just feel like…if you knew all of me, you wouldn’t love me anymore.”
“You really think that?” he seemed almost upset that you would think so little of yourself. He shook his head, wishing you would give yourself more credit than that. Wishing you could see yourself as he saw you, “there’s nothing you could do to ever make me love you less.”
“Are you sure?” you asked softly, “what if - “
“I’m sure,” he put a gentle finger to your hands before you could even open your mouth to say anything else, “and don’t give me some random weird little thing hypothetical like if you were a murderer. I mean it - I love you as you are.”
“Okay,” you sniffled lightly, nodding your head, “yeah, okay. Do you wanna come in and we can talk?” 
“You sure?” this time it was your to lean in and you brushed your lips against his. He hummed in content, before putting his hands on your waist, his grip tight but protective as he deepened the kiss. You let him take control and let him kiss you dizzy until you were both breathless. He pressed his forehead against yours as his pretty eyes closed, long eyelashes feathering against your cheek, “I guess you are sure.”
“Positive.”
You gave him a soft smile before reaching for his hand and threading your fingers together. You opened the door, tugging him along with you. He easily complied, following you after without hesitation. Truthfully, he would have followed you anywhere and you wouldn’t even have to ask. 
“Come on,” you kicked your shoes off and bounced up the stairs, leading him up. He’d been to your house on several occasions, but this still all felt so new to him. He felt like he was going to see you in an all new light. At the top of the stairs you stopped and turned to him, offering him a shy, sweet smile. With you standing at the top and him on the step below you were the same height for once. That caused you to giggle before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, “I really, really like you.”
“That’s funny,” there was a pretty little blush that crept into his cheeks as his big bright eyes watched you intently, “‘cause I really, really like you too.”
You were practically glowing as you padded down the hall with him coming after you intently. When you stopped at your bedroom door, you hesitated for a moment - he’d never technically been in your bedroom before. And that had been for a purpose before…in retrospect it all seemed so silly and childish. Why had you ever doubted Steve, even for a moment?
You opened the door slowly and stepped in, motioning for him to follow, but watching his face curiously to see how he would react. A pretty, bright smile spread across his face as he took it all in. Your space was tidy and organized, feminine to a touch, but the rest was all - 
“Oh,” Steve went to your shelf and looked at some of the hand-painted figurines that lined your wall. Your heart almost dropped into your stomach as you realized that his reaction was already mirroring that of your horrible ex-boyfriend.
“Steve-”
“This is so cool!” 
Oh. Oh. That wasn’t what you weren’t expecting to hear. He touched a few of the intricately painted fantasy figures before looking at the posters of the various bands you liked, the stack of books that are to be read on your desk, and collection of obscure vhs tapes that were waiting to be returned. He turned back to you, his brown eyes twinkling with curiosity as you simply shrugged in a small gesture as if to say ta-da. 
“Y-you’re not making fun of me, right?” you asked softly and he shook his head fervently. How you could not see that he was already so very whipped for you. 
“I would never,” he promised and that’s when you saw the mischievous little glint in his eyes, “I happen to like quirky little nerds quite a bit.”
“I-I’m not-”
“Oh honey,” tender affection laced his words as he wrapped his arms around you and picked you to spin you around. You shouldn’t help but giggle at his playfulness, “you don’t have to lie to me, or ever feel like you have to hide yourself from me. You, sweetheart, are totally a little nerd. I can’t believe that you felt like you couldn’t share this part of you with me.”
“Steve,” your eyes were teary, but this time the tears weren’t of fear or worry, but deep affection for the pretty boy in front of you, “it’s…not you. It was never you.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked gently, his grip around you tightening as he tried to silently tell you that it was okay, that he wanted you to open up to him. You hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding, “it’s okay if you don’t want to or you’re not ready, sweetheart. But I’m always here for you, and I'll be here when you’re ready.”
“I know,” you promised softly, “I trust you, Steve. And I love you.”
“I love you,” you couldn’t help but kiss him gently at that. You sat down at the edge of bed and he followed suit, his body pressed against yours as he reached for your hand and laced his fingers through yours. 
“You know it seems so silly,” you confessed, as you laid your head on his shoulder, “especially when I think about saying it out loud.”
“I don’t think anything related to your thoughts and feelings is silly,” his reassurance came in the form of a soft whisper and a kiss to the side of your head, “really.”
“My ex boyfriend he was…well, at the time I thought he was wonderful, you know? Like he was so wonderful and amazing, but in reality he was a huge jerk and wasn’t good at all,” you sighed heavily, but already felt the tiniest bit better even getting that much out, “he was kinda like that ‘all-american’ good boy, you know? He was the pretty boy jock and everything was appearances to him and looking cool and basically being some sort of mindless robot. And for whatever reason, I convinced myself that was okay for a long time. He was the first person to show any kind of interest in me and I guess I thought I needed that at the time.”
“Did he…was he-”
“No,” you shook your head, happy to at least dispel that much, “he just wasn’t very nice to me. He thought I was pretty, and he liked that I was smart, but he didn’t like much else about me. So, he basically told me that I shouldn’t talk about the things that I was into, the things that weren’t ‘cool.’ At first it upset me, but it was just at the time that I wanted to be accepted and liked. And that’s what I did, I just kind of shoved myself away and did what everyone else did.”
“That’s so…” he’d shifted his body so he was facing you, a hurt expression on his face as he processed everything you had said. You offered him a meek smile and a shrug of your shoulders, “fucked up. I can’t believe that anyone would do that to you, or say that your interests weren’t valid or acceptable.”
“I mean, I feel like it’s partially me too,” you confessed, “I could have walked away but I stayed with him. It just felt like…I couldn’t leave in a way? But now I realize just how stupid it all was. I could have just said no. But I didn’t.”
“But you can’t blame yourself for that,” he insisted, “we were all impressionable when we were younger but that doesn’t mean that we should blame ourselves for things that we did. Besides that, it just seems like he was a huge asshole and just wanted you to make him look good. If anything, he was just insecure about himself.”
“You always know just what to say, don’t you?” you sighed softly, finding your boyfriend watching you with a tender expression, “one of the many things I love you about, Steve Harrington.”
“I mean, I am pretty rad,” he teased, running a hand through his soft brown locks, “but so are you, angel. Can I ask what made you break up with him?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted softly, “at some point I just realized that enough was enough. I’d gotten tired of hiding who I was and always having to be on eggshells around other people. So one day, I guess I had a moment of confidence because I just broke up with him. The worst part - maybe also the funniest - was that he didn’t even seem to care. He just said okay and that was that.”
“Wow,” Steve sighed as he shook his head, “he made the worst decision of his life, letting you just walk away. Thankfully, that worked out in my favor, because I got to meet you.”
“Yeah,” that was definitely the best part of all - you got to meet the love of your life, “I agree. Breaking up with him was the second best decision of my life.”
“What’s the first?”
“Deciding I needed to rent a bunch of movies on a random Tuesday afternoon and meeting the pretty boy that was working at Family Video,” he practically melted at the memory of meeting you, of you walking into the store like it was no big deal when in reality you had just knocked his entire world upside down. Steve was a romantic at heart, but he’d never believed in true love until he saw you. And then everything had made sense, it was like everything fell into place. He was looking at you with the sweetest expression and it made you want to hide your face with shyness, “don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” there was a teasing lilt to his voice that you adored, “like I’m in love with you?”
“Yeah,” you admittedly shyly, “like that.”
“But it’s true,” he insisted as you nodded.
“I know, Stevie,” you leaned in and he quickly got the hint as he pressed the most saccharine of kisses to your lips, “thank you for listening to me…and not, you know, judging me.”
“I would never,” you knew he meant it, “and I’m glad that you were able to share that with me. And I hope you know that you never, ever have to hide anything from me. I love you as you are, even all the little bits and pieces you don’t love as much.” 
“I won’t…I just feel silly thinking I ever had to hide from you,” you lightly groaned as yourself, “I know, and I have known, that you would never judge me or anything. You are much too good for that. I guess I just wanted to fit in and wanted you to like me. You’ve always just seemed so cool.”
“Me?” he scoffed playfully as you beamed at him, “cool? Have you seen the dorks that are my friends? I haven’t been cool since…it's been a long time, and honestly, I’m glad we didn’t meet back then. I don’t think you would have liked me at all.”
“Steve-”
“I mean it,” he insisted nervously, “I was umm…kind of a huge dick. I probably was closer to your ex than what I am now.”
It was hard picturing the man in front of you to be anything but the soft-hearted, kind-spoken person he was. He nodded and you touched his face, ghosting your fingers along his freckles, “what changed?”
“I don’t think I ever really did,” he confessed softly, “I think I just realized that I was going along with everything and looking for acceptance and love in all the wrong places. Turns out I had neither of those things back then and I realized that eventually. It just took a good knock on the head - literally and figuratively.”
“Oh my love,” you couldn’t stop yourself from climbing into his lap and wrapping yourself around him like a koala. You knew that Steve didn’t have much of a relationship with his parents, and it made sense as to why he loved his found family so much. He’d always just wanted love, as you had, “I guess we both were silly fools, huh?”
“Something like that…” he agreed softly, “promise me you won’t hide yourself away from me?”
“Pinky,” you held up your hand, pinky out as he laughed and hooked his finger around yours, “now it’s official.”
“Silly girl,” he brought your hand to his lips. He was quiet for a moment before his whole face lit up, “you remember my friend Eddie, right?”
“Of course,” you liked his friends, and you loved that he included you with his group of friends. They’d all been more than kind and you really enjoyed spending time with them, “I don’t think I could forget someone like him…”
“Yeah…” he nodded in agreement before both of you laughed, “he’s something. But - he’s really into Dungeons and Dragons, along with Dustin, Lucas, and Mike. I don’t know if that’s quite up your alley, but I’m sure they’d love to teach and have you play with them.”
“I…that could be very fun,” your heart melted at the thoughtful gesture as you stole a few sweet kisses from him, “I’d love that.”
“I would have said something a lot sooner,” he teased playfully, “but one little dork didn’t want me to know her secrets.”
“I’m not a dork,” you pouted cutely; you both were well aware of the fact that you were a dorky nerd. He raised an eyebrow and the serious face you were trying to keep disappeared and you dissolved in a fit of giggles. Steve took the opportunity to take your face in his hands and peppered kisses all over your face, “fine, fine, fine! But - I’m just a dork, I’m your dork.”
“My sweet, pretty, wonderful little dork,” he praised and you couldn’t help but blossom under his sweet words, “I love you.”
“I love you too, handsome,” you pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “so much, in all the ways.”
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cripplecharacters · 10 months
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hi! i wanted to ask a question though because i understand its not rlly ur specialty im just asking if u know any other blogs that can help. I work with visual arts, and thats how i wanna do my stories, through something like comics, so i wanted to ask if you know of any resources to help me with properly representing things like scarring, especially facial scarring and facial differences.But anything on representing disability in visual mediums would help. Thank you regardless!
Hello,
I actually work with visual arts and draw a lot of characters with facial differences (FD) on the daily! I hope I'll be able to help.
I'm not aware of any resources for visual mediums specifically (especially if you mean something like a "how to draw [specific facial difference]" type thing. Despite comic book authors drawing facial differences for ages for their villains there really aren't any good tutorials that I know of) so I tried to combine a few points that maybe will be helpful to you;
Reference photos of real people with the condition your character has. Try to research the symptoms of it as well (especially if it's a syndrome) - maybe it will turn out that the symptoms your character has require a trach tube or a nasal cannula, or something completely different.
Don't overexaggerate their facial difference for the shock value...
...or downplay it for the cuteness/attractiveness factor.
What I mean is - whether your character is the adorable love interest or the morally gray criminal, their facial difference shouldn't reflect that. Don't make some kind of moral connection of "major craniofacial condition = bad person, teeny tiny scar = good person".
Don't draw your character with FD constantly covered in blood and running around with an axe. The portrayal of people with FD as violent/murderous is not only offensive and not helping the public perception of facial differences, but is also just incredibly boring and overdone. 99% of "representation" looks like this and has been looking like this since horror movies have been invented. I'm 100% serious when I say that drawing a person with a facial difference just having friends is a thousand times more groundbreaking than all these horror tropes combined.
Don't use the ancient "facial difference = joke" design trope. Authors love using strabismus, drooling, lacking teeth or skull conditions as shortcuts for "humor". These conditions are all real and real people have them (including me, hi). They don't exist as some kind of signifier that a character is "stupid" or "crazy". It is extremely prevalent and hard to unsee once you start noticing.
A lot of people in the FD community just want characters with FD that are normal, everyday people doing normal everyday things - having a family, hanging out with a friend, petting their cat... Not murderers hunting ablebodied teenagers through the woods. Maybe one of your character's family members has a burn scar without having it be A Big Deal, maybe one of their classmates has Goldenhar Syndrome that everyone just accepts, maybe the background character at the local supermarket has neurofibromas on their face... lots of options that don't involve tired villain tropes. With the advantage of a visual medium, you don't even need to explicitly mention that they have a facial difference - just draw it and let it be there. No dramatic reveal necessary.
Have a range of facial differences represented, even if it's just the side characters. Most people only ever draw scars, usually small and not affecting anything other than the skin, which isn't bad - a lot of people do have scars like that and they deserve to be represented. However there are literal thousands of different things that also count as a facial differences. Some of them like strabismus, Down Syndrome, tumors, or nerve palsies (most notably Bell's palsy, but there's 12 of them in total) are quite common, while conditions like Treacher Collins Syndrome, Pfeiffer Syndrome or Anophthalmia are usually considered rare - but a lot of people still have them. Having two or more characters with some kind of facial difference definitely isn't out of place.
This is more of a technical thing but don't ever tag a visual medium as "gore" or "body horror" because someone has a facial difference. It's ableist and incredibly dehumanizing.
This page regarding facial differences in media (not only visual) is also worth giving a read. I hope any of this was useful. If you have more specific questions, feel free to send another ask
mod sasza
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