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isisisak · 7 years

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Under the cut there is FINALLY the answer to that promt-ask about Isak and Mikael meeting for the first time (if some of the stuff that went down back at bakka was indeed romantic) .. enjoy!

Sooo I have been vomiting my thoughts about this in my chat with my bestie Max ( @noorasevas ) and we came up with the following backstory to the whole Mikael deal (bc I am atm not sure that what went down really was romantic but I change my mind about this with every convincing theory I read so … yay me for being constant in my opinion):

Even was best friends with Yousef and Mikael in Bakka. He was together with Sonja but they weren’t doing so great. Even figured out that he is bi bc he started to form a crush on one of his best friends, Mikael. Bc he and Mikael grew up together and have always shared everything with one another Even some day tells him (maybe a bit of liquid courage is involved, maybe not).

Mikael, who does not intent to be mean or hurt Even nevertheless rejects him quite harshly. Bc he was just young, overwhelmed and well, basically just skdjskdjskdsdj went down in his head. After this Even gets in a very bad spiral of self doubt and self loathing which also is one reason he turns back to Sonja.

(Somewhere down the line, while Even was in the middle of an episode, he told her what happened. Which is also why Sonja knows about Even being bisexual and why she doesn’t seem so surprised when she learns about Isak).

When things calmed down, Even doesn’t want the confrontation anymore and everything feels awkward and he’s hurting.

So, he tries his best to avoid Mikael. Not liking the way this lifelong friendship ended, Mikael tried to apologised both in person and via texts.

But Even (which we know isn’t the “let’s confront this head on” kind of person but rather goes over the situation over and over in his head until he is convinced that he does those people a favor with staying away.

(This was also why he was so patient and understanding with Isak, bc he took a long while to stop with the self loathing and start to accept himself, bc his parents and Sonja were supportive but the initial reaction to the first person he told was so ugly – even if not intentionally so)

[And also: most people show Isak going full on confrontational or protective/jealous and even if he (IN MY OPINION) would also feel that in a way, he would mostly not act on those. Bc he is a very in-his-head person.]

Ok the setting is that mysterious karaoke bar. *crowd goes uuuuuuh*

The light is red hued and the music is loud, so whoever sings isn’t heard that clearly. Thank god for that, because right now Magnus is smashing (read: slashing) one very cheesy song for Vilde, who stands in the front row, telling everyone who tries to shuffles past her

“That’s my boyfriend!”

The tables are positioned along the wall, with little benches on one side and on the other side there are chairs facing the inner part of the bar so people can turn around and look at whoever is murdering the next song.

Isak is sitting on one of those benches, head resting against the wall behind him (he may or may not be a bit tipsy right now) and his side is pressed against Even. Even who is in a deep discussion on song lyrics with Jonas and Mahdi right now, making Isak roll his already closed eyes.

He hasn’t really slept that great the past couple of nights. This whole deal with that chemistry test, plus some stuff with his father and then on top of it all the #HvemErMikael mess has been a lot. He really should talk to Even about it, but Even had blocked his attempts so far and Isak had filed every bit of information he got along the way neatly in a drawer in his head.

What he knew so far:

- Mikael had been Even’s best friend

- There also was another best friend

- There has been a falling out between all three of them which meant:

- there was no contact / but Even sometimes receives messages where his face falls and Isak often can’t bring himself to ask about them

- There were some feelings involved but he wasn’t quite sure who had them for whom and what happened

- Even assured him he never had anything with Mikael (and yet there was a pause before he said that or a look for a split second)

Isak trusts Even and believes him, but he’s also convinced that he doesn’t have very important parts of the story.

His thoughts are interrupted by Jonas who loudly says, “Alright! So, proof it then! You two go and then me and Isak will do that one,” pointing at some song on the list they can choose from. Isak’s eyes snap open.

Ok, so he might have told the other boys that he was the master of Karaoke. And he and Jonas might have been trash talking to the other boys about how good they’d do. Well…shit. This seems to be somehow connected to that, doesn’t it?

Before he can protest about anything that just happened, Even gives him a cheek kiss.

“I’ll dedicate this one to you, baby” he says with soft voice and his eyes crinkling up. He was close before and now he is just deliciously closer.

Isak just melts a bit at the proximity and moves his head from side to side to initiate some nose nuzzling. Even kisses him, on his mouth this time and sneaks an arm around Isak’s middle.

“Halla, Baby. Did you zone out there for a while?” Even asks, speaking so low that it is only for his ears.

Their faces are still close, close, close. Foreheads touching. Isak frowns, looking down his nose at Even, almost going crossed eyed from him being so near.

“Nei?” he huffs indignantly. “Of course not?” which only makes Even chuckle and peck him again. Once, twice, three times.

Hands in Even’s hair he’s pulling him closer because….. well because, and continues to deepen the kiss. How there are still a ton of butterflies in his stomach after it’s been almost half a year, he sure doesn’t know. Why even call it butterflies? It would be way more accurate to call it a fist, that clenches his inner organs and- When Even touches his tongue with his, he stops to think about that. He stops to think, period.

One hand still on Isak’s hip Even puts the other hand on Isak’s jaw, long fingers reaching into his hair that curls at the back of his neck. Following his bottom lip with his thumb and flicking their noses when Isak tilts his head all the way to the side.

“Woah there! Let Tongak rest for tonight, man. We need to go! Our song is next!” Comes Mahdi’s impatient voice and he seems shakes Even’s shoulder mildly, judging from the way their kiss was broken. Isak glares at him over Even’s shoulder, who just pecks him one last time and then moves to go with Mahdi.

“Wait! What song is it?”

But they are already on their way. Isak turns to Jonas who tips on the card and Isak scans the name.

“Hva faen?! Vilde gets that cheesy love song and all I get is Love the way you lie from Rihanna and freaking Eminem?”

Isak scrunches his face up in disbelieve and throws both hands up, looking at his grinning best friend.

“It was the only one where one part was rap and one part was sung.” Jonas shrugs “And to be fair, your boy’s default setting is cheese so this is a nice change.”

Which earned him another eyeroll when the song starts and he concentrates on those two ridiculous boys trying to rap/sing and making a dramatic show of two lovers on stage.

The song ends (way too soon, seeing his boyfriend on stage, even in that awful way, was something) and Even and Mahdi go off stage and signal that they’ll make a bar run. Good. He feels The Sober™ coming.

Talking about staying drunk, a slightly tumbling Eva is walking in their direction, waving enthusiastically when she sees Isak and Jonas. She has Vilde, Magnus and three other guys in tow.

Isak isn’t paying much attention to the other guys at first, until, when all sat down, he looks up at the one sitting right in front of him and fy faen.

His whole mind goes blank. The voices of the others get muffled while he can’t stop staring at the boy in front of him. Mikael. His mind begins to work again, or at least isn’t completely blank anymore, but just a repetition of Mikael, Mikael, Mikael.

Vilde’s high voice points at all of the new boys, listing their Names. “Those are, Elias, Adam and Mikael. Elias is Sana’s brother!” she says excitedly. Isak finally manages to tear his eyes away from Mikael and flicks them to the others.

None of the others show any signs of distress - and why would they? But how is it possible the rug has not been pulled out under the others too, while Isak is basically free falling here?

He isn’t really following the conversation, until Magnus’ suddenly lets out a high pitched “What?? You guys went to Bakka and are 97?? So sick! My best friend went there!! Do you guys know Even?” The expression on the face of Sana’s brother reminds Isak of movies where the frame freezes, the record scratches and a voice over going “you probably wonder how I found myself in this situation”.

Before he has time to read Mikael’s face a drunk Eva exclaims “Oh! Fy faen! Shit, I totally forgot about that!! That’s so true! Do you??”

This was directed at the guys with a wild gesture, spilling some of her drink over their shoes. Seemingly thankful for the distraction, Elias and the boy who’s name Isak has already forgotten busy themselves with that, while Vilde joins in and says, “Oh, I never even thought of that! You must know Even, then! This” pointing at him. Oh, no, nei, Vilde, nei! “is Even’s boyfriend!”

The one without the name is the first to move after that. He nods awkwardly in Isak’s direction, whose insides have gone cold. Isak manages to make a gesture which could be interpreted as a nod (if one was kind) and after that his eyes move to Mikael.

The other boy had obviously been staring at him, because he now looks at the table with a guilty look. Mikael looks like a trapped animal and Isak knows the feeling.

Isak feels a sudden wave of sympathy for Mikael. Sympathy isn’t the only feeling that is swirling around in Isak’s stomach, though. He feels doubt, the ever present doubt of am I good enough? He has gotten better at not indulging those feelings in the last months, but they just came back full force, sucker punching him in the gut. He feels jealous, which makes him feel like an idiot, because this really shouldn’t be about him.

He feels pissed, because even though he has no real clue what went down, he knows that whatever happened it hurt Even, and he would march into battle if that means his boy never hurt one day of his life again.

The whole whirlwind of emotions was combined with an ongoing AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH in his head. So, naturally, he turns his head to Jonas, his haven, his safe place, his best friend who he hoped would pick up on the situation. Which he does. With his iconic brows knitted and lifting one shoulder, Jonas is asking him what the hell is going on without saying a word. Meanwhile Vilde, Eva and Magnus have taken on talking again, about what, Isak couldn’t say.

He should get up. He should go and warn Even. He wouldn’t want him to walk into this as unprepared as he just was. Because when he is this thrown by it, he can only imagine what it’ll do to Even.

Just when he wants to stand up and ask Magnus to move, so he could get out of that booth, Mikael speaks. To him. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

The voice of the other boy is surprisingly soft when he asks “Is Even here?”. So, ok. He can’t leave now, can he? His gaze flicks to Jonas again. His best friend looks at the bar, or the general direction of it and lifts his brows. Then he gets up and without anyone really noticing – guess why – he leaves.

Hopefully Isak understands that correctly, and Jonas is going to go find Even. He’s glad the others seem very much caught in conversation and it weirdly feels like a one-on-one situation, even though there are five other people besides them sitting at the table.

Before he answers he coughs, twice, buying himself some time, trying to settle down a bit.

“Uuh, ja,” he answers, nodding once. Because he can’t say no, even though he doesn’t yet know what the boy in front of him will do in this information. When he looks at Mikael straight on – how he found that courage, he will never know – he sees the dark eyes of the boy widen. Is he shocked? Scared? Hopeful?

Isak really can’t read the expression that takes over Mikael’s face. He nods. Isak mirrors the nod. So they sit there, oddly similar and strangely connected in this unfamiliar territory.

Suddenly Mikael speaks again, way softer than what Isak should be able to hear over Eskild’s version of Toxic that’s going on in the back.

“How is he?” When he says this he looks lost, and also… guilty? Isak’s chest clenches. Yes, he doesn’t know what this guy means to Even or what went down between them, but at the same time Isak can’t quite get himself to dislike that boy with the seemingly ongoing pout.

Isak puts his tongue between his lips and squints his eyes a bit, looking down at the empty beer in front of him. He decides to answer that with “He’s great” and tries to plaster a confident smile on his face and adds “We just moved in together!”

Because fuck it, yes, he doesn’t need to prove anything to that guy and he doesn’t dislike him and he’s not jealous, but he also just wants to make his territory clear. So, when Mikael doesn’t react in a confrontational manner, but rather looks like he deflates with a relieved sigh, something in Isak melts.

Because the other boy obviously really cares. Cares that Even is ok. Cares that Even has Isak in his life and that they seem to be solid (they are, but moving in together does bring the image of a stable relationship across a bit more).

Without even consciously registering it he warms up to Mikael. So, when their eyes meet again, Isak smiles. Maybe warmer than he should, since he still doesn’t know what happened, but it just happens.

He makes to stand up and says “I’ll go look for him.” Leaving the I’ll see if he wants to see/talk to you hanging between them in the air. Mikael’s whole face morphs into this really hopeful, and bright, still a little timid and nervous smile. He nods, following Isak’s movement as he shoves himself out of the bench over Magnus and quietly says “Thank you.”

So, so he got that, huh?

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havsgast · 7 years

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okay so @darklordtomarry tagged me in a thing

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (or however many you have all together). see if there’s any patterns. then, tag your favourite authours.

so... i’m tagging @percysweetheart because we all know i love your writing

anyway, have some first lines paragraphs from unposted fics

1. Definitions and cages (harrymort)

Stockholm Syndrome [definition; noun] an emotional attachment to a captor formed by a hostage as a result of continuous stress, dependence, and a need to cooperate for survival

Hostage [definition, noun] Archaic. a security or pledge

Dependence [definition; noun] the state of relying on or needing someone or something for aid, support, or the like

Survival [definition, noun] the act or fact of surviving, especially under adverse or unusual circumstances

Unusual Circumstances [definition] having part of your soul connected to that of a child prophesized to kill you

The man that had risen out of the melting cauldron was an impostor.

Impostor [definition, noun] a person who practices deception under an assumed character, identity, or name

author’s comment bc why not: what i’m currently procrastinating to write on. also everyone will hate me because i love definitions

2. The Phoenix Experiment (tomarry)

The Phoenix Law Experiment: How does a relationship form between two alike subjects who are introduced to a new environment at the same day and time?

Experiment practitioner: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore Test subjects: Harry James Potter (25) and Tom Marvolo Riddle (27)

Day 1: Introduction to new environment (September 1st, Thursday, 8:15 am)

“And this is where you’ll be working. Mr Potter, Mr Riddle, welcome to Phoenix Law.”

“Thank you,-”

“-Albus.” / “-Mr Dumbledore.”

“Play nice, gentlemen. Remember, we’re working together for the greater good. Now, goodbye and good luck.”

“Thanks.”

author’s comment again: once upon a time i thought it’d be cool to write a fic without any descriptions at all, but i’m considering rewriting it to make sense

3. The Girl-Who-Disappeared (tomarry/harrymort)

One-year old Claire Lily Potter looked on with big, hazel eyes as her mother stood in front of her cot; with arms spread wide and back straight her mother made for an impressive sight. Claire’s unruly black hair softened to the dark red shade of her mother’s.

“Not Claire, not Claire, please not Claire!” Lily Evans Potter begged at the cloaked stranger.

“Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside, now…”

Curious about what was happening, Claire stood up in her cot. She looked towards the white wand that the stranger was holding. Would it make colourful smoke as her father’s wand did earlier?

“Not Claire, please no, take me, kill me instead-”

“This is my last warning-”

“Not Claire! Please… have mercy… have mercy… Not Claire! Not Claire! Please- I’ll do anything-”

“Stand aside- stand aside, girl-”

Claire looked on as a pretty green light filled the room. Her eyes were quick to mirror it, an unconscious decision fueled by her innocent fascination. She turned her eyes to the stranger that had stepped closer to her cot; her mother was no longer standing in front of it. Had her mother left? Oh, her mother was on the floor. Maybe the green light had made mother fall asleep? She stared up at the stranger again. The wand was pointed at her face.

“Avada Kedavra!”

At the exact moment that the spell hit her, Claire blinked. The world turned dark. She cried as the roof fell down around her. The sowilo-shaped scar on her forehead knotted itself together when she cried harder because of the pain.

another author’s comment: it’s not hetero. i love my transgender son harry potter. also i should continue writing this....

4. Perception (tomarry/harrymort)

The summer holiday had started only a week ago, and Petunia Dursley was already having trouble entertaining her son Dudley. As a result, they were taking the train into London for the day. To Petunia’s displeasure, their neighbour Mrs Figg was away at the veterinary with one of her many filthy cats; resulting in Petunia having to bring her nephew along. Dudley was making his own displeasure known loudly as Petunia tried to placate him with promises of new games, ice cream, and watching a movie at the cinema.

Harry Potter, the unwanted nephew of Petunia, was watching as the scenery sped past them. He could hear his cousin Dudley throwing a fit in the background, and wisely tried his best to shut out the sound. It was his first time on the train and he wanted to enjoy it. Harry still felt beyond lucky that Petunia thought bringing him with them was the lesser of two evils, although he should feel insulted that his aunt did not trust him to be home alone. He had long since stopped being offended by anything his relatives called him and had accepted that they thought that they were in the right. The easiest road to survival was to agree with the ones giving him a room and food - even if the room was a cupboard and the food was scarce.

author’s comment once more: MY CANNIBAL!HARRY AU THAT I LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART

5. Nyctophilia (hedric/tomarry)

One of the first warnings that parents gave their children was to not be alone outside after darkness falls. They told horror stories about the monsters that awaited nightfall, the monsters that ate lost children. As with all stories, they held a grain of truth. As with all stories, the children grew up to disregard them.

Harry loved the darkness. Xe found comfort in it, a safety that the daylight didn’t have. The air was crisper during nighttime, and the starlight didn’t judge as harshly as the sun. Most nights, xe climbed through xyr window and up on the roof. Harry spent those night laid on xyr back as xe stargazed. Xyr parents were less happy about it. Way less happy about it.

“Hadrian!” xyr mother yelled at xem through xyr bedroom window. “You need to come back inside! It’s dark!”

“Soon!” Harry yelled back. Xe had barely been outside for an hour, and the sun had just disappeared behind the horizon completely. The sky was turning from pink and purples to black. Xe didn’t want to go in at all, but xyr mother could be just as stubborn as xe could be, if not more so.

“Now!” she demanded. Harry could picture the worried frown on her face, and with an annoyed sigh xe decided to give in. Xe could always climb out again in a hour, after xyr parents had gone to bed. Xe had done it before. It was a bit of a task as xe barely reached 155 cm, but xe had a lot of determination. With practiced movements, xe climbed back inside through the window. Xyr mother looked at xem, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Hadrian, how many times do I need to tell you? The monsters will get you one of these nights.” she berated xem.

author’s comment (don’t you just love these?): this fic is literally everything because it has so much like... HARRY USING XE/XEM/XYR PRONOUNS AND MULTIPLE NAMES BECAUSE XE IS GENDERFLUX (this ties in with my experience as genderfluid and changing names more often than pronouns)

6. My heart is underwater (enjoltaire? enjolferretaire? i can’t remember)

Dragons soared in the sky above him, and his mother was among them. Grantaire craned his neck and squeaked, trying to capture her attention. He hadn’t eaten in days because she had been gone, and he didn’t yet know how to hunt on his own.

He was young, not for a human but for a dragon. Just a hatchling, who had yet to get used to his limbs. His eyes were open and he knew how to call for his mother, but any other abilities had yet to come.

It was then, while he was waiting for food, that he heard them. The ancient ones, the dragons that had lived since the beginning of time. They were whispering. He heard their voices in his head, whispers that sounded like stories. They talked about soulmates and destinies that had to be fulfilled. Grantaire listened, wary of the ancients’ tales.

author’s comment: i’m still les mis trash okay, i fully intend to get back to my les mis wips one day

7. You’re beautiful, I’m afraid (enjoltaire)

August 28, 2015. Friday.

Ugly. Disgusting. Fat. Unworthy.

The words echoes in his head. They started to in elementary school, and follows him since then. He goes to university now, and there are no longer any classmates that shouts at his back, but the words have left permanent scars. He can never forget them, and why would he? They are true.

Grantaire drags a hand through his hair, his fingers getting stuck in the unwashed curls. Had he dared look in a mirror, he would have seen a malnourished boy with big hair and scars. As it was, all his mirrors had been covered since he hit puberty. When he looked down on himself, he only saw a pudgy stomach, fat thighs, too hairy legs, and dark skin full of blemishes.

author’s comment: honestly this one is very important to me

#my writing #the les mis ones are from 2015 haha.............

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