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#i tried the 54321 grounding thing and it helped a little
burned-out-match · 3 years
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Heyyyyy, it’s me again. 😅 But as someone who struggles with mental health issues, I was curious. How would Shigaraki, Hawks, and Aizawa handle an S/O who occasionally breaks down? Like, they’re normally fine, cheerful and very loving towards them. But sometimes, things just get too overwhelming and they have a bad anxiety attack or a meltdown? Or a depressive episode?
~🌹
Hello lovely! I totally relate to you. I’ve had serious struggles with mental illness in my life so these headcanons are gonna come from a place of sincerity <3
with a troubled s/o
Shigaraki
He’s confused at first because feelings don’t fully register with him
But he remembers the trauma from his childhood and how it impacted him- the nights he spent as a child sobbing and hyperventilating and he knows
He gently tries to comfort you but his efforts are sort of.. awkward
Like he’s saying “there, there” but in the most confused voice
He doesn’t know what he’s doing but he knows what he needs to do so he’s really trying for you <3
He gets the hang of it though
He starts rocking you back and forth, humming while his fingers comb through your hair <3
He asks a lot of questions about random stuff to distract you and his word vomit is actually a great grounding technique
Aizawa
He pulls you into a cuddle pile. No questions asked.
Totally pets your hair while he whispers a story into your ear to ground you
He’s the most calm and rational out of these three so you’ll definitely have some healthy coping mechanisms after being in this relationship
Practices breathing exercises with you and holds your face or puts his hand on your chest to feel your heartbeat decrease <3
Takes you out on small walks when you get overwhelmed
He helps you out with work and schedules himself so that he’s by your side when you’re doing a task that’s known to trigger you
Speaking of triggers, almost all of them are eliminated
He does everything in his power to make it right <3
Hawks
He will wrap his wings around you, no questions asked
Just imagine how soft they are and the way the light filters through them, casting a golden and red hue over Keigo’s face, accompanied by his golden eyes <3
Yes. I am a simp.
He’ll hum to you and scratch your back, coaching you through a 54321 exercise and different breathing techniques
He traces your hands and makes you watch his fingers glide over yours to refocus you <3
He’ll calmly ask if you would like to talk about your triggers so that he can do his best to help you avoid them
If not, he gets you snacks and a blanket, encouraging you to pick an activity to sit and do with him
He’ll take you on little strolls every now and then, always ended with stargazing <3
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Stuck in reverse - pt 4
Neil x Reader
Chapter 4: Bad habit
(<- see Chapter 3, 2, 1)
summary: you woke up from a nightmare straight into a panic attack, and your friend was ready to help you get through it
warnings: nightmares, panic attack
author’s note: I couldn’t get that image out of my head, also - I highly recommend the 54321 technique.
A penny for your thoughts?
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You couldn’t see the faces behind the masks.
You never could.
You didn’t need to though. The five people left behind on your missions. Some of them were wide-eye rookies, some were hardened veterans. Most of them were your friends. Now they were just staring at you in silence.
Judging you.
They had every right to, you should have tried harder. There was no such thing as bad luck, just you not being prepared enough. You desperately wanted to beg them for forgiveness, but the voice was stuck in your throat.
Like always.
They were abandoned. Alone in their last moments. And it was all your fault.
You suddenly realized there was another person joining them.
Wait, six? Who-
Your whole body was shaking. Your eyes welled up.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
You couldn’t breathe.
The blue eyes.
“Y/N?”
You gasped for breath, frantically. You chest was painfully clenched, and so was your throat. You were drenched in cold sweat. You looked around, trying to remember where you were.
The van. The trip. The middle of the night. Everyone beside a driver was asleep.
Oh God.
You didn’t want to wake anyone up. You didn’t want to make a scene. You didn’t want to bother anyone. You didn’t want them to see you in that state.
But you couldn’t breathe.
Trying to be quiet was making everything worse.
Someone’s hand was on your arm. You looked to your right and met Neil’s worried eyes.
Oh God.
Your pulse was pounding in your ears. You were getting nauseous.
“Y/N, come on, name five things you can see,” said Neil in a soft and quiet voice.
You shook your head. Your mind was blank. You couldn’t find a single word for any item around you.
“I c-can’t, I-” you sobbed sharply, still fighting for every shallow breath.
“Come on love, you can do it,” - Neil gently took your hands into his, placing your left palm on your heart and pulling your right one to his chest - “okay now, five things you can see.”
You blinked twice, trying to focus your vision. “...a w-window, a headrest,” you mumbled.
“Good job, three more,” he encouraged you, still holding your hands.
You coughed lightly to get rid of the lump in your throat. “...a watch, h-headphones, streetlights.”
“Awesome! Now four things you can feel.”
You closed your eyes.
“The cold air from the AC, your hands, my heartbeat...” you said under your breath and opened your eyes. “...your heartbeat.”
Neil chuckled softly. “Very good. You know the drill, three things you can hear.”
You closed your eyes again, shifting all your attention to the next sense. The loud pounding was no longer there. “The van’s engine, Wheeler’s snoring, the music... from Seb’s headphones, I think?”
“Right,” - he nodded - “two things you can smell, go.”
You forced a deep, shaky breath into your lungs and let it out in a long sigh.
“a...pine air freshener,” you said in a hushed voice, wrinkling your nose. “And coffee.”
“There you go. One thing you can taste.”
You ran the tip of your tongue through your lips. Tears?
“Salt.”
Your body was still trembling, but you could think clearly, at last.
It had been years since someone talked you through that state. It usually worked quite well when you used that grounding technique on your own, there was only one condition though. You needed to recognize that anxiety spike and/or panic attack relatively early. There was only one person in your life that always managed to bring you back, no matter how far down the spiral you’d gotten yourself into.
The one who’d taught you that technique all those years ago.
Neil.
Who was now giving you as much time as you needed, waiting for you to be ready to move on.
You slowly pulled your hands back and rubbed your face with your palms.
You were so exhausted. And a little embarrassed.
Dear Lord, say something.
You leaned back and turned your head to Neil, finally being able to look him in the face.
When your eyes met, he smiled, but even in that poor light you could see the concern in his eyes.
You sighed.
“Thank you,” you whispered and gave him a weak smile.
He scoffed and pressed his lips into a thin line. “Don’t mention it,” he said quietly and gently stroked your cheek with his knuckles.
You closed your eyes and melted into his touch.
“Try to get some sleep, we still have few hours before we get there.”
Neil was right. You were too tired to worry about anything at that point anyway. You leaned your head on his shoulder. Neil moved his arm so you could slid yours under it, making your position more comfortable. When your hands met, your fingers interlocked as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
And just before you mind drifted off, Neil rested his head on yours and chuckled lightly to himself.
(next Chapter ->)
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Hello! I am here wondering how to deal with trauma. Firstly, I experience depersonalization almost every day (it’s basically an out of body experience where I feel like I’m watching myself while floating above myself, I feel like a robot, like my thoughts and emotions aren’t mine) and I was wondering if I could get any advice on how to deal and cope with this as well as flashbacks from my childhood about my abusive parents. Thank you :) - Jules
Hey Jules!
We have the same name, I think that’s pretty cool :) I see you’ve been struggling lately and I want to help you. First of all, I want to say you sound like a really strong person, I’m really sorry you’ve been through that, you definitely didn’t deserve it. 
I want to make sure you’re safe so if you haven’t done that yet, do you think it’d be possible to look into getting out of that abusive household? It’s always something that is important to consider, maybe another family member or a friend could help you with that. Or if you have a job, you might be able to try to save money so you can afford somewhere else to stay.
Also, do you have a support system at all? This is really important, even if it’s made out of online friends. It can be helpful to try to make a list of everyone in your support system so you can make use of it, and if you feel like you don’t really have a support system, you can try to build one. Maybe you can even try looking into group chats here on Tumblr as a start. You don’t have to go through anything on your own. 
Now, based on what you described you feel, I believe you’d benefit from grounding exercises, they could help you cope! I don’t know if you have ever tried one but I will go through one with you. But before I do so, I want you to keep in mind that different techniques help different people so here is a list of other grounding exercises so you can try and find what works best for you.
So, for this one, I need you to look around and name 5 things you can see, try to pay attention to their shape, to their color and what they are used for. 
Then I need you to touch 4 things, paying attention to the texture, their color, what it’s for, how it feels to touch it, is it warm or cold? Is it soft or hard? Really focus on the sensation. 
Now, please try to pay attention to 3 sounds, it can help to close your eyes and really focus, it can be anything too, you can even clap your hands or snap your fingers or knock on something and make that count as a sound, just focus on the sound a little bit and pay attention to where it’s coming from, is it a pleasant sound? Is it a loud sound? 
After you’re done with that, try to find 2 things you can smell, it can be anything. Maybe your hair smells like something, or your clothes smell like perfume, or maybe your hands smell like hand sanitizer or soap… Really focus on it for a minute, do you like this smell? Is it sweet? Is it a strong smell? Do you know why it smells like that? 
And lastly, one thing you can taste! This one can be a little tougher but just getting some food, or some gum, or even any beverage can help make this one possible. What does it taste like? Is it sweet? Is it cold? Really focus on that and try to gather as much information about that taste for a minute. 
You can repeat this exercise as many times as needed. It’s usually called the 54321 grounding technique! 
Another thing that could be helpful in your situation is practicing mindfulness. It can help you stay more present and there are apps that help with that, the one I know about, and that a lot of people I know use, is called HeadSpace and it is a free app and it allows in-app purchases but it offers a few mindfulness exercises for free. That’s also something you could consider trying. Here is a link we have about mindfulness so you can learn more about it, including some mindfulness activities. 
I do need to say that psychotherapy is one of the best resources to dealing and working through childhood trauma, and since we are not professionals we can’t help as much as a trained therapist can. So if that’s an option for you, at all, I’d recommend you to look into it and give it a try. Here is a link we have on getting help, that can also be helpful to check out. 
I really hope this helps at least a bit, you deserve the best, be safe. 
Jules 
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