#i torture my characters because i care

[mishapen-dear]

something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.

like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”

it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.

he’ll be the monster. wont he?

#qsmp #he loves his friends and he wants to hurt them #he loves his friends and he doesnt want to hurt them #qsmp badboyhalo #ita like. He was torturing himself with the soul vultures because he kidnapped ron and threw down some scary magma mobs #and then forever changwd rhe whole fuckin narrative with that appreciation room and bad remembered the joy of community #and then cellbit. Where bad was like ‘i see him destroying himself to get the eggs back and i know where that road goes’ #’his loved ones dont want that to happen to him. i dont want that to happen to him’ #and then purgatory gave him the first actal legitimate lead for finding their kids and he just had to get worse #and so he fucking swandived into self destructive violence (and the cc was purposefully playing qbad more recklessly violent) #(bbgirl couldve been lured into a trap so so easily) #ive lost my point somewhere now im just rotating qbbh in my brain and all the parallels #ah yes. But now theyre out of purgatory. And he refuses to regret what he did because he *had* to do what he could to save dapper #and the other eggs #because he has a huge complex about being the ‘only one who can protect the eggs’ because of a thousand little cuts and his mental health #issues. Like he’s Wrong bur its such a fascinating little direction for his character. Yes king burn thyself on the pure of protection #and then burn in a nuclear blast too because your self sufficiency left you to care for your egg alone #you can take care of the eggs. you can hurt your friends. look at how much you hurt your friends #look st the monster you are . your teeth are sharp and your claws are large #never mind that time you sent tina into a panic attack because you tried to recreate safety #never mind that your friends and family are worried about you #you are falling apart. but so many monsters survive the killing blow

[shiikiyun]

my honest opinion about the "futa was guilt tripping es and only regrets what he did because hes in pain now" crowd, and by proxy, any criticism on the other prisoners' display of remorse or general attitude around their actions

Didnt feel like copypasting this as a post the screenshots will have to do

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #fuuta milgram #not a theory more like a rant #i have such a strong disdain against milgram as a system #you will never catch me not defending the prisoners #if i ever critisize them its for their own good #i will never deny their flaws #but i will support their “flawed” behaviour towards milgram as long as they dont hurt others now #i mean even kotoko now... i cant come to fully hate her. because shes just another tool for milgram to play torture games on these people #a tool that will soon be discarded and granted the same torture she perhaps avoided til now #i dont care how much it seems like they lack empathy or remorse for what they did. i will never demand this from them in milgram #milgram doesnt deserve to demand any attitude or reaction from them #and i consider anyone that puts the prisoners under this microscope in fvaor of milgram to be part of it #so i will be against it too. i dont care if im wrong about my readings on the characters

[muninnhuginn]

The homoeroticism and overfamiliarity in The Glory is so deliberately rancid.

In the past, it was used by the bullies (and especially Park Yeon-jin) towards Dong-eun. Inviting themselves to her home (a place where she should be safe), saying her legs are pretty (before shoving an iron to them). Superficial compliments used as they steadily destroy her life.

For Dong-eun, love and hatred intermingle. They always have. Park Yeon-jin taught her that. Her own mother taught her that as she signed her away.

As Dong-eun plots her revenge, she speaks of longing for Park Yeon-jin. A burning desire to see her consumed in flames. And when she's face to face with the bullies, it's all "Yeon-jin ah" and "I'm glad you never changed". She turns it back on them. Smiles in their faces as they once did to her. Words of love soaked in an undeniable coat of hatred.

#doing a rewatch so my drafts are just filling up with spam like this ig #ig I'm used to homoeroticism being a thing where even between villainous and heroic characters it's still kinda balanced? there's respect? #but in this case because the power dynamics are so tilted from the start. bullies and victim. it's just another weapon in the arsenal. #and dong-eun twisting it back later on is almost reclaiming it as her own knife. presenting herself as having the upper hand. #closest thing it reminds me to is satorika torture scene in gousotsu because satoko has all the knowledge and rika at her mercy #but even that's not the same because satorika have genuine care and history behind them that isn't antagonistic. #with the glory it's just rancid. there is no care. no love lost. it's just power dynamics being used as weapons. #the glory #(tbh I suspect this stuff is probably connected to why queercoded villains used to be such a thing but my knowledge on older media #is limited so I don't have active comparison points here.)

[sparky-is-spiders]

There’s something so compelling to me about Jon being isolated completely… not even in the “ostracized and hated” sense (which is also delicious to be clear) but in the “no human contact ever” kind of way. And I want someone to do this to him deliberately also. I want Jon to work in the archives without assistants ever. Completely alone because Elias put him there and didn’t give him assistants. I want to put him in a box and poke tiny holes in the lid and then put the box on a very high shelf where nobody can reach and see what happens to him.

#insane and horrible things are constantly happening to Jon 24/7 in my brain #this is all an act of love btw #I want him to suffer because I love him soso much #I think making him completely alone would be fun and interesting #I don’t want to put characters I hate in the torture chamber because I don’t care to think about them #the purpose of putting a character through hell is to rotate your suffering blorbo like the pretzel #jonhate is not welcome here but jonsuffering always is. is the point #anyway maintagging my mental illness this time #tma #the magnus archives #jon sims #jonathan sims #edited to change the six months bit #it was a random span of time but also not enough actually #also i would prefer to avoid mentions of jm on this post. it’s not a judgements it’s just very much Not My Thing

[nostalgia-tblr]

For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.

MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).

Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)

Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.

Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????

*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!

#the avengers (mcu edition not the 60s one) #(though if u close one eye and tilt ur head the black widow looks a wee bit like emma peel maybe?) #i like to think the lair of loki stans exists after this to post angrily on social media about how actually he did nothing wrong etc etc #let me know if loki's just working from a subway station that's still in use in this that'd be hilarious he'd be so annoyed by it all #torn on the tortured-by-thanos issue so far he does look messy but he might just have the flu and didn't want to back out #a lot of people are depending on him to jumpstart a movie superhero franchise he can't just take the day off can he #if loki took care of himself thor would be LITERALLY UNEMPLOYED how could he? how could YOU? #(the 'god of thunder' thing isn't a job he doesn't get paid for it so it's just a hobby) #(he doesn't even monetise that hobby! you think iron man would give you storms for free? EXACTLY. he'd have a patreon AT LEAST) #(“if you enjoyed this torrential rain pls tip me on ko-fi which is not pronounced like you think it is because it's a really BAD pun”) #mcu tag i guess #and whatever the fuck my loki character tag was #like i said i really do need to categorise my lokis more it's been bothering me for a while #reminder: i am here because they cast a woman in a previously-male role and SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FILM. OR ANY OF THEM. D: #don't think the alligator's gonna turn up here either :( :( :( #otherwise it's just kind of fascinating what this film assumes i do and don't know about these characters #nick fury's a goth right?

[zeb-z]

people who are like ‘oh cDream is morally grey, he’s morally grey’ because they want a villain with some sort of morality and sympathy as if cSam isn’t Right There

#dream apologists become the dirt I walk on #talking about the characters putting c in front of everything is exhausting #like he’s not he’s just not he’s Bad #‘morally grey because he does good things sometimes and had reasoning for his actions even if they were bad’ that’s not dream that’s Sam #Dream is just a selfish asshole who wants power and feels threatened easily and is obsessed with tommy like some sorta freak #Sam though? Sam?? swayed into torturing dream using his emotions? split between his wants and his duties? #warden who can’t risk dream escaping vs sam who’s been trying to help tommy heal #sam who killed Ranboo because he follows through with his threats and couldn’t let dream escape any means necessary #who didn’t even particularly care that much because he found out how Ranboo caused the explosions on top of the prison #who kidnapped Michael not to hurt him but to ensure he had power of the right people so he could ensure the greater good #see when dream was trapped in the prison he commissioned that was poetic justice. when Sam was trapped it was complicated #he’s so ‘I’m tortured by my actions but I have to do what’s hard for the greater good’ and then it doesn’t matter #Sam? he’s done some fucked shit. but god if he’s not a sympathetic character #or at the very least understandable in how he sees what he’s doing is good or for others #Dream is constantly ‘what can I do to make me look good’ ‘what can I do to get what I want’ and grabs for power and abuses tommy #dream smp #dsmp #awesamdude #dream #c!dream #c!awesamdude #mcyt #z speaks

[cowboy-robooty]

now that wiener has changed me i can show my true colors to you all. this is the equivalent of me posting my little prince on the internet okay because i genuinely think this is cringe and stupid but i cant help it i have autistic rage and everyday i fight against it. anyways the reason why its so big i like wieners itapan is bc this is how i actually feel about itapan

its okay though because everyday i fight to cure myself of these aids (once i opened my social media app and saw itapan and my day genuinely felt significantly worse. ruined even. i am fighting so hard).

#BECAUSE I FOR REALSIES THINK ITS SO DUMB TO GET ACTUALLY DEADASS MAD AT FICTIONAL SHIPS #WHO THE FUCK CARES #AINT NOBODY CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT SHUT YO DUMBASS UP!!!!! #but my weakness... is itager... because idk im ill abt them its not a joke #ive been this way for like 6 years now #i can handle reading fanfics of germany x other characters bc germany literally never loves them #like all the fics i read of him x other characters is just him being tortured by them and he doesnt even like them #the only way he reciprocates their affections is literally after white room torture and getting turned into a different person #i believe that i think thats true thats the only way he could possibly show romantic affection to someone other than italy #i only can tolerate and sometimes enjoy content of germy/itatard x other people if its onesided and they dont love the other person #bc then im like yeah seems legit cuz theyd only love eachother in all universes #and i feel this way abt basically all of my ships i care abt bc im a monoshipper #but usually i wont give a fuck if i see them with other people im like that sucks lol but not my house not my soup! #BUT ITAGER....... IT MAKES ME CRAZY #IT MAKES ME ACT LIKE A FREAK ! I DONT ENDORSE MY OWN BEHAVIOR #thats why this is my shame............. this is my one true cringe and something i genuinely consider a flaw of mine #one of my few if not only autistic rage inducers............. please accept me for who i am. i am trying to fight this (ngl im losing but #we still try our best bc i want to have no weaknesses) #one of my few weaknesses..... #robooty dick pic

[csoisoi]

my neutral existing is gone im happy and smiling again

MY JOY

IM SO HAPYHCHEHVHKYK

please im so happy seeing the first years

de man was unexpected but its a verY WELCOME APPEARANCE I MISS HIM

#pulu and ronron makes a new appearance and call sabnock papa #i miss those two sm #its just rlly sweet i love them #theyre so cute #yabashi making an appearance threw me so off guard but i was so happy #im curious as to why he chose this batra? is it because of clara? #also i want to see him interact with march-sensei. theyre cousins and march seems fond of him but yabashi hasnt said anything abt him yet #i wonder if hes scared of him bc ngl if my cousin was a torture arts teacher. id be scared shitless #his beanie is so cool too. it makes me wanna try to diy it but i neither have a beanie or the fabric to make it its <//3 #ive been on a hypothetical diy spree but all ive made are too many pins and one phone charm strap thing #hes just rlly cool. very fashionable now that i take a second look at him. very gender tbh #chacha wondering where kerori was was very cute #pheene not being opposed to joining camui's batra was very nice and the sudden change to her hunting him down upon seeing was very funny #demii and allocer seemingly talking in the library too it was very cute #the misfits as second years and taking care of their underclassmen is very cute and i love it #the series is all about relationships familial platonic or otherwise #the dynamics present and how expansive the demon world is with all the new characters and designs #i just love afdsgbgdjlfg mairuamsdgf #ok thats it #mairimashita iruma kun #mairimashita! iruma kun #m!ik #mairuma #welcome to demon school iruma kun #welcome to demon school #iruma kun #csoi posts #csoi talks too much in tags

[doctorweebmd]

coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls

#bnha spoilers #also. more evidence that horikoshi read zero-sum game #like come on the twins thing the izuku losing his quirk thing the losing his arm thing the shiggy getting decay from afo thing #TELL ME THE TRUTH HORIKOSHI. DID YOU READ MY FANFIC. #i'm joking of course. he's just done a really good job of foreshadowing through the series. its a marker of an amazing author #and i know that izuku probably won't lose both his arms and his quirk. i fully expect it to be a happy ending in some way shape or form #this is a sixteen year old boy who sacrificed EVERYTHING. more than he ever had to give #and he had less than a year. LESS THAN A YEAR. #sorry i'm already crying thinking about the scene of him holding shigaraki's hand even though it will decay him........ #izuku who knows better than ANYONE what shigaraki's power can do.... reaching out to him. caring more about others than about himself. #he's just. he's so good. he's SO GOOD. he deserves the world #tbh i feel like eri HAS to be involved at this point. she's the deus ex machina in all this #that or overhaul #both of their abilities can at least physically restructure izuku's body #it would actually be a very interesting redemption point for overhaul....... #i mean WHY ELSE RESCUE HIM. and why give him THE SAME FUCKING INJURY #what a powerful thing it would be to have eri give overhaul his arms back #and overhaul learning about goodness and forgiveness from this girl he's done nothing but abuse and torture #and saves izuku........ #its about ATONEMENT. its about GROWTH. its about IT NEVER BEING TOO LATE. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU MY HERO ACADEMIA #... ok. i'm normal. its fine. #on another note #i loved the ending to my first bg3 run which i think i finished Tuesday/Wednesday. i cried. #IMMEDIATELY started a durge run where i'm playing a male human bard instead of the female half-wood elf ranger #i was like 'haha. i'll make a character based on hisoka from hxh! i'm gonna be SOOOO evil! >:)) #and guess who still isn't good at being big evil. ME. at worst i'm probably chaotic neutral. #its wild i'm already finding SO MANY new scenes i missed on the first playthrough even though i'm making a lot of the same choices #so it still feels super fun and fresh. more so now because i kind of know the characters and the mechanics better #my current playthrough i'm with lae'zel shadowheart and asterion with no intention of switching out

[abimee]

wrote up a huge sappy post about tock and my time playing xiv so far and endwalker but then i fell asleep after eating bad fast food and now im embarassed to post all of that so just know i think endwalker was the greatest video game story ive ever played and hermes and meteion are going to stick in my head forever and tock is my most important oc. thats the basics

#venat was cool i guess but hermes deserves more than her #i realize too i never do my insane ramblings over here. about hermes. about how i hate people humanizing meteion when her being nonhuman is #critical to hermes character and especially how hermes cares for animals being shoved to the wayside #instead so people can just focus on him being autistic or depressed and ignore that he cares deeply and intensely for #all animals. the wasps the maggots the birds the sharks the turtles the mollusks. how he is the one consumed with the love for what #other deems lesser or below them the animals other cry couldnt possibly exhibit emotions! #i saw a tweet yesterday of someone acting horrified or absolutely astonished that spiders can recognize themselves/other spiders #and make art and it made me lose my mind because why COULDNT spiders do this? why be so surprised? why act so horrified? #they are animals that exhibit understanding. many animals have been proven to show they can recognize themselves #and even then if an animal cannot why do we see them as lesser for it. why do we argue about if animals can feel pain or not #and think that nothing deserves to be tortured by purely existing #why do we kill bugs when they are simply looking for warmth and why do we attempt to justify the merciless othering of #animals based on their capacity for emotion and humanization. when all animals should be given the choice to be as they are #wasps deserve to live spiders and tarantulas and cockroaches and maggots and pigeons and seagulls #to kill them or taunt them or degrade them for how he made them is beyond cruel. consider #anyway. i think hermes would LOVE halloween hissing cockroaches

[glitter-and-be-gay]

being secure in your sexuality means there are some general guidelines for who you find attractive on a regular basis and from time to time you can still go oh

#queerness #is such a useful and loving term #I can call myself a lesbian and mostly I do #but to be more accurate I’m generally attracted to a very specific vibe of femininity #and that means that on very special occasions I am attracted to men who have obscure personality traits that I can’t easily pinpoint #and it’s usually caring and being unrepentantly loving towards their male friends #and still there’s usually a physical component of softness in these men #these men are usually also characters in movies or tv shows #so I find Crowley attractive because of how they move #the androgynous snakey quality and the tortured psyche are my bread and butter #but NOTHING could have prepared me for watching actual person Michael Sheen smile and crinkle his eyes #like I’m sorry that is a legitimate man who is also very masculine and yes he’s got that very specific bi vibe with Tennant but #I’d still like to file a complaint

[frankcastlescumslut]

I have been actively abusing google docs with the Matt Murdock x childhood best friend!OC series/novel I’m writing and my only goal for 2023 is to complete it.

It [the plot] is so good (to me!) and will put me on the radar as an established writer (me manifesting) and I will not feel ashamed or embarrassed about my work (my affirmation to myself).

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

#sav just says stuff #matt murdock is such a complex character that really makes me feel something and I wanna torture him a little but with literature yknow #i love creating a character that is a direct mirror of another person because it forces them to confront their own shitty behaviors hehehe #i am probably the only person who cares about this and that’s completely okay because it hurts nobody and only makes me feel better #the fact that i have to actually physically use my fingers to write this is a little unfair though like #i can’t believe that i actually have to write it :////

[werewolfpdfs]

barbie isn’t a feminist or misogynistic she’s a plastic toy

#i know this sounds like im being a hater but imagine me saying this as genuinely and earnestly as possible #cause like ok. you have Barbie™️ the product produced by Mattel and marketed AS empowering #and then you have barbie the character in the general cultural imagination of…anyone who knows what barbie is #and opinions on THAT range from Misogynistic Consumerist Insecurity-Creating Stereotype #to Girlboss Empowering Femininity Do-Anything-Be-Anything Feminist #and this feels obnoxious to say because I thought the movie was mid but they did like. very briefly conceptualize this as like #barbie is a construct barbie isn’t real and as such barbie is whatever exists in the minds of really kids but also i suppose #other barbie enthusiasts hahah. and because of that barbie becomes a figurehead for womens leadership and strength OR a reenactment #of patriarchal norms (kids very much will take barbie’s scrubs off and marry her to ken and have her be a housewife lol this is a Thing) #or or or barbie is a vehicle for discovering lesbianism. or playing imaginary torture. #so like in the most detached I Don’t Even Care About Barbie I’m Just Postin Here way possible. Barbie is a plastic toy. #everyone ignore this im just talking on my silly little blog #old man yells at cloud

[rockleaves]

really cannot stop laughing at myself because another part of the reason i put the inosaku war au down for so long is i couldn’t figure out where i wanted to start chapter 2 so when i picked it back up i was like “fuck it i’ll just start writing from sakura’s hot girl summer and we can figure out later if it needs to start somewhere else.” so naturally instead of sakura having a hot girl summer i immediately wrote 2k of her having a suicide watch spring.

#t #naruto time #suicide mention tw #I GUESS? like she’s fine she’s not ACTUALLY on suicide watch she’s just having a bad time for the moment #she’ll get the hot girl summer later she just has to go in the torture chamber first. because i love her #and i have to make all my favorite characters suffer #also i have decided that ​i am not stressing about posting spoilers for this fic #b/c first and foremost it’s fic who cares but also i don’t think any of what i’m saying makes a terrible amount of sense to anyone but me

[cacaitos]

testament to things that could've been solved with a handjob.

#txt #smth smth their uh... height yeah let's say that and strength has been something that has gotten in the way of being trated like equals #and in finding intimacy with women because there percieved as menaces (or internally think theyre so) so someone being able to #take or accept their... height. despite 'the danger' would be like accepting their humanity etc yk the story etc #like brstars is a shonen i dont need to see that but it's quite funny idk that my guy is like what if i kill her. with my dick. or we end #up having children or like saving himself for. idk. marriage???? like WOE calm down damnnn. how come half of everyone is baseline #into vore here but anything thats not PiV sex is to weird and extreme i guess. #same w LSB like almost every chapter's got a new sex scene or practice or torture or object unrelated to the plot. Forearm For #A Dick Genjiro guy took the botherrr of going to a brothel and NOTHIN was achieved there? #and btw it would have not taken a single moment of caring if being a virgin and wanting but avoidning having sex werent so much #big part of lego's character traits xd and that not getting pussy made FFADGenjiro into a woman extorter and rapist 🤡

[hauntedorpheum]

the heretics had so much potential

#finally got to the point of the show where i left last time lmao #i think i never finished the season #the heretics are clearly the writers trying to make the originals 2.0 but without any of the build up or dynamics of those characters #julie plec is like #ooh look at this guy he is soooo powerful. oops damon and bonnie killed him. he was lily's favorite even tho they only had 1 scene together #and this guy he is mute and mysterious #this girl is bad but oooh she was stefan's first love omg drama #and these are lesbians. i know we kill the gay couple but this is different because they're lesbians. btw did we mention they are lesbians? #like come on. at least try to give this characters some interactions when they are not just hating each othee #they are supposed to be a found family. yet they dont seem to care that much for each other #their motivation and deal for the house makes no sense #the characters they present make no sense as the reason lily didn't lose her shit #i just don't buy these relationships #also last time im pretty sure i stopped bcs of the caroline thing™. and now knowing that is coming...this is torture fr #my post #the vampire diaries #edit: the deal to have the house is so fucking stupid. ghost town means no food