#i took mine at work bc thats when i ate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

muwur · 4 years

Note

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡ “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡ “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial. You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu x reader angst #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #oikawa tooru #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader fluff #tw

65 notes · View notes

jorstar · 3 years

Text

👉👈Can I tell y'all what I did today and overshare?

I got up at 6:25 and hit the snooze button till 10 mins b4 I had to b at work like I always do <3teehee and I used dry shampoo on my hair bc I didn't want to take a shower yesterday

I drove to work and listened to the new svt album and was like damn ok game boi game boi game boi I guess

I put on my apron and noticed that the necklace I literally got yesterday fell off sometime between home and getting to work retraced my steps a lil since then and never found it last place It could b cuz I didn't rlly look there is my yard

Had a 4 hr shift today which I never really get days so short but it was relatively uneventful work day

I bought salmon to cook for dinner and some other stuff like I finally bought some flowers to put in my window planter thats been empty but one of them wouldn't scan so I was like well ok whatever free flowers 4 me I guess >:]

looked for my necklace in parking lot on way out and couldn't find it 🙁

Put stuff away when I got home and finally washed dishes that I've been putting off for like a week

Put some kimchi ramen in the microwave

Wondered if I should do laundry and then noticed I had a little blood stain on my sheets so i washed pillow cases along w other stuff

Ate ramen while watching yt on tv and felt really dizzy and light headed occasionally while eating and it was really fuckin weird

Watched stuff on the whole Steven crowder h3 podcast whatever and by that I mean like watching the reactions from the various leftist youtubers I dabble in

Put out trash for garbage man tomorrow I usually put it out every other week bc I don't accumulate a lot by myself but I threw out some nasty expired milk the other day and don't want it stinking up my bin in the hot sun

Watched the new loona trailer w miss lip and was like

Put clean sheets and stuff back on my bed and folded clothes. just folded! Not put away fuck that

Went and got mail and got some ad and threw it away. shouldve got my city bill by now wtf

Wiped down my bathroom counter (and why that's relevant will be clear in due time friend)

Lil TMI incoming but I put in my diva cup it's my second period using it so I'm still in the learning process

Got nakey, put on spotify and took a shower

Got dressed after, put up my hair, washed my hands and cleaned my ears as too get ready for the ritual to come...

Sooo uuuh I pierced both my ears w those disposable kits like I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW bad idea o mine but here I am sitting writing this in the aftermath what's done is done

So then I started preparing dinner while thinking hmmm earlobe be throbbing a lil but I am just so giddy and excited about it

This is my 2nd time making salmon in the oven and Its actually surprising how easy it is..I love salmon

I eat da salmon w broccoli

I drink da water cuz my Google research says u need ta stay hydrated for healthy piercing process o_o

I think about for the 573475th time this week how much I want a cat or dog

I watch more YouTube then get to this point where I feel like I did a lot today and need to revel in the little things a bit and type it all out lmao I never make posts on here then I go and do this shit idk I think today was one of those days where I felt unfiltered like when youre sleep deprived or something but I really would like to post on Tumblr more definitely not to the extent I've shown here but yeah

Now I'm probably going to get ready for bed and watch shit on my iPad until I decide it's bedtime since my shift starts at 5am tomorrow

3 notes · View notes

zhuhongs · 3 years

Text

When I was growing up I didnt understand why people shared food with others. I shared food with my mom and such, but that was it. I thought that sharing food was something people only did with those super close to them. I never once just considered sharing food with others like many families do.

I grew up as one of the only poor colored kids in a well off white neighborhood. My mom always had this weird complex. That she and the rest of our family "weren't like other Hispanic people" because we "didn't take handouts" and "didn't live like that" whatever that was supposed to mean. I hate her internalized racism sm... it fucked me up so bad but i’m mostly over it and she is too thank god but that's a whole other issue for another text post) Thus she always ingrained it in me that I don't take food that other ppl are offering me. If a white person tries to give me food, they're probably just pitying me for being the poor girl. And if a poc gives me food, they need it more than I do, I should take it but pay them back later for it. To save face and not cause burden. I never thought twice abt it and it was rarely an issue. Most of my friends were white and their parents always thought it was kind that i offered to pay for my food but never let me. And my friends of color... well i didnt have many. I didnt have many friends growing up that I rlly remember. I was always just weird and quiet. I occasionally brought food on birthdays and got food for others on their birthday. But outside of special occasion I didnt go out of my way to give people food. If I didnt like something I'd give it to someone who did. And if someone was gonna throw something away, I ate it. I never let food go to waste. When I went out with people, I bought my food and they bought theres and we just ate. Nothing else. I never thought anything of it.

I remember a very distinct moment where I started to feel differently. I was in my second semester of university and my dance team was preparing for a performance over spring break. We had been practicing from 9am to 3pm and then decided to go to the mall to get food and just hang out for a bit. My university friend group is like.. notoriously bad at making decisions so I usually make the decisions for them bc theyre all so passive alkfjaslkfjd (THEY ALL HAVE OLDEST IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER OF COLOR SYNDROME like me too omg ik ur a ppl pleser but PICK SMTH, ily them... i’ll stop now) . SO we were deciding where to get food and settled on the food court and we all get what we want. So we did all that and sat a big table together and I just remember everyone putting the food in the middle and getting extra plates so we could take from each we wanted and have a little bit of everything. And at first i was like?? HUH!?? like I got what i wanted bc thats what I wanted and then planned to take my leftovers home to eat at work later that night. And that ended up working out, they could kinda tell that was my intention but ever since then I noticed that that friend group always does that. We all buy different things and share. I really used to find it dumb at first bc its my money and i paid for what i wanted. I didn’t want to take others food and I didn’t rlly want to give them mine. I thought that mentality was universal. I was always kinda on the outside with that group, we never fully meshed but I really wanted to make the effort to be friends with them because I knew it would be rewarding, even if we were just casual friends. And yea idk, just through them I began to kinda unlearn the way I used to feel about sharing food. It’s not about the money, it’s about the connection to others and about giving freely and letting others give to u. But money was always tight as a id. As I’ve started working and making money, thankfully i’ve abandoned this knee jerk reaction.

I read a chapter of a book for highschool english once called “Sharing Food as an Act of Communion” or smth along those lines and I got the concept but didn’t rlly think it was that deep. But in that moment, i started to understand it a lot more. Sharing food and sharing things in general isn’t about the object itself, its about what got u to that point to share something with someone. Due in part to way i was raised as I elaborated on earlier, I really wasn’t a loving or giving person. I was selfish. I was taught to be selfish. Because my parents had that mentality and passed it onto their kids. That was the cutthroat immigrant way of theirs. They were very much “pull yourself up by your bootstraps ppl.” My brother is still like that a bit. It’s very sad sometimes, I’m trying to get him out of it. Baby steps. My mom doesn’t understand why he’s so selfish. One of these days I think i’m going to sit her down and tell her that it’s her own doing. That how she raised us. But I know she doesn’t want to hear it, so for her sake and mine I just agree with her and let the issue pass without incident. I truly believe that kindness and community are the most radical things that humans have. I rlly do. It took me a long time to get there. I used to be so convinced I was better of alone. One man for themselves. I blame my father, i really do.

One time when things were really going to shit with my family, my dad came in my room and asked me how I could be so cruel to him when he was my father, completely unaware of the fact that I had been abused by him my entire life. He just didn’t register it that way bc it wasn’t physical. He said to me “You know Sage, I would expect this from your brother. But you’re a girl . I thought you’d be nicer, more loving and giving.” but it was his own actions that shaped this. And it wasn’t until I had stopped living with him at 18 that I was able to become more like how I am now.

Really, in the past I wasn’t a very nice or loving person. I wasn’t mean either!! I was just passive. A cold lake near a forest. I was nice looking on any surface level, but there was nothing warm or pleasant. A cold lake with jagged rocks underneath. With the help of others i’ve warmed, the rocks eroded down to something you would keep in a collection. I prefer it this way. I’ve healed a bit. I understand now what ppl mean when they say food is a love language. It isn’t one for me yet, but I recognize why it is for others. I get it now.

6 notes · View notes

antpernas · 3 years

Text

11/15/20

SO really eventful couple days so im just going to TLDR friday and saturday to talk about today jejeje

soo 11/13/20 (friday) i woke up kinda late in the day and had a grindr date over, we talked for a few hours and played some smash B) after he left i made a stupid ass twerk compilation to this remix on twitter and it took like two-three hours to edit BUT when i finished a really cute mutual of mine sent me a message :D he and i started messaging, (he lives in georgia) and long story short rly spontaneously we made plans for me to make the roadtrip from soflo to atlanta to stay and visit for a while!

11/14/20 i woke up at around 9 i believe and got ready and i started my drive up to georgia :))) the entire way i was just sending voice messages to him about random thoughts that popped into my head while i was listening to my podcasts and observing the landscape on the drive up! also sidebar theres nothing ive come to enjoy more recently than road trips, especially over highways that go through undeveloped/rural areas, seeing the humungous expanses of wilderness make me so happy !! i ended up visiting a friend at UF on the way up and also stopped at rest stops to pee like 20 times on the way up thats not an exaggeration BUT its ok cuz im hydrated B) i end up getting there around 11:30 and he comes outside and hes so cute im obsessed!!

SO as for TODAY! we had cuddled to sleep and woke up pretty late like 1 PM i thinkkk and we stayed around the house until like 4 ! we went to best buy to get a charger for my computer bc my dumb ass had left mine at home :/ after that we went to publix to get some groceries anddd we ate some when we got home B) after that we did some hw and listened to some music and just chilled !! then i worked out and now were getting ready for bed B) were driving to tennessee tomorrow so im super excited jeje

gn ily be safe!!

#mydiary

3 notes · View notes

dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

Note

good evening to you, buttercup!! 💫🌸☀ how are you deary?? hopefully your day went well!! my day was tiring, so i look forward to finally being able to lay down and relax (while writing this of course 💕) (1/8)

"speaking of buttercups, i often forget that they are one of my favorite flowers!! along with lily of the valley, white and burgundy roses, tiger lilies, hibiscus, and more,, i've always had a certain fascination with flowers, they're so pretty and relaxing and hold all sorts of different meanings and uses,, i hope that i get to grow a huge flower garden in the future 💐 (2/8)

sorry for that little ramble of mine, i just really love flowers hehe that reminds me, thank you all for your kind words today!! they cheered me up a ton, and gave me the motivation to get out of bed today, you all are awfully sweet, saying such nice things all the time, i don't deserve you guys 💓 (3/8)

and that creep my friend mentioned? i'm okay, lots of friends went after him,, it just really scared me that's all!! i was able to laugh it off later since many people on here DMed me asking for his location,, and threatening some strange things for him... as much as it makes me laugh, i wouldn't wish pain on anyone (unless they happen to be truly evil) 😊 (4/8)

oh,, i ate a little more today!! i'm happy that i'm getting better with this, even if it's quite slow!! i was also able to embroider a little more while i ate, i'm working on decorating a shirt right now 💗 (5/8)

mamma mia,, a friend surprised me today with a little "gift", they invited me in minecraft and built me a little house on an island with cats,, it was so sweet!! apparently it was to make me feel a bit better, and it honestly worked 😖💞 (6/8)

i also got a preview of a new album waifu brother is working on!! being the little sister of a musician is awesome,, since i get to see new music before anyone else does hehe,, he also discussed a film he's writing and showed me the script,, it's based off of one of our favorite rock songs actually!! (7/8)

well, that's a wrap i think!! i'm honestly very glad i get to end my day like this every night, it's a nice way to unwind (and to talk to you of course~ 💋) take care of yourself for me darling, and i'll see you tomorrow 💖 - a pleasure as always, your loving waifu xoxo 💘✨💗💕💓💋💌💞💖💫😍 ps: i'm awfully touched that you say you'd fly to america over something as dumb as that,, but truthfully?? i wouldn't complain 😘😘 (8/8)"

Let me start off by saying that me and the entire clown army are happy to see that we helped ur motivation spike up once again 👀 and im very pleased with them wanting to go after that asshole as well and tbh if u ask me he truly IS evil i mean calling someone slurs and basically harassing them just bc they dont want to engage in stuff with u is like the lowest of the low imo🤡🤡🤡 i stand by my previous statement and that is i WILL fly to america (or wherever his dumb bitchass is located) and give him a fine yeeting for merely THINKING about harming you😤🔪

Murderous tendencies aside, u being into flowers is so in character and thats exactly why its so pure and adorable xhdhdhx i myself like orchids alot for whatever reason...and also the hella rare black roses and the blood/crimson red ones😳👊 looks like i'll just have to help u set up a big ass flower garden someday h u h

Also not to simp but holy shit how much cooler and lit can yall get??? Ur brother being a goddamb musician and a script writer?? A SCRIPT BASED ON A ROCK SONG? SIGN ME TF UP I'D PAY GOOD MONEY TO WORK WITH HIM ON SUCH PROJECTS HAHCYSHSJSNE (little thing abt me i used to really want to become a singer for some good years in the past but now i kinda gave up on it since its hella unrealistic rip but...if ur brother needs any help tell him im here i took singing lessons for about a year or so👁️👁️)

Honestly i too have been very unmotivated lately and have struggled bc i wanna draw and write but at the same time my mind is like [b l o c k e d] when i sit down to do it so i just end up playing my cringe fail racing game then marathoning yt/shows until i pass tf out at like 5 am or smth a h a h a but im proud of u for having a sudden burst of motivation and hooefully it will stay that way for a l o n g t i m e

#the confessional #ik i complain alot abt being unmotivated but it looks like many of us have this problem nowadays smh #quarantine brainrot as i like to call it😩😩

6 notes · View notes

lifesucksheres20bucks · 5 years

Note

Reddie prompt: Eddie always pays specifically for Richie when they go out with all the losers (like we saw with the ice cream in the movie, for example at the cinema, or the fair idk) and he suddenly realizes he does it because he involuntarily thinks about him as his "date". That's how he discovers his own crush. (If it's too specific you're free to change it as you please)

Thanks for the idea! hope you like it !!

*its late i didnt read it over im sorry*

-eddie and richie have always been closer to each other

-everyone knows it

-they claim they cant stand each other but everyone knows thats not true

-they love teasing each other but they also have their cute moments of geeking out together

- eddie has been unconsciously buying stuff for richie since they were 7 years old

- it all started when eddie brought gummy worms to school, he didnt have much bc his mom didnt want him to get sick.

-he was sooooo excited to each them during lunch time, he had been thinking about them ALL day

- he finally pulls them out and richie sees them and says “omg eds those are my absolute favorite candy! could I maybe have one?”

-eddie looks at richies puppy dog eyes and back at his gummies, man he really wanted all of those gummies but richie looked like he really want some and he could never say no to richie so...

-”yeah sure, hmm, here take these” and eddie gave him 3 out of his 7 worms

-” wow thank you eds!” richie said as he pinched eddies cheek

“dont call me that richie..” he said grinning

richie devoured those gummies in like 3 seconds

eddie ate them like a normal human being

richie then just stared at eddie eating those gummies bc mannnn he really wanted more

eddie kinda got that impression too so he split the 7th gummy in half and they shared it

richie literally hugged eddie with all the strength in his body

that whole week eddie snuck into the candy drawer at home and took extra gummies for richie

and they would both eat them together at lunch

(they even named one albert and kept it in a bag in richies locker and “looked after it” together)

after that, every time eddie would go to the drug store to get his medicine he would buy a bag of candy for him and richie to share.

every.single.time

he would save up the whole week just to buy that bag of candy

when they got older he didnt notice he did it anymore

the candy buying had stopped but if he was at the fair and he went to get a hot dog he always got an extra one for richie

or at the ice cream shop he always got some for richie

richie at this point expects food from eddie all the time, he doesnt notice it but hes like a drained dog if eddie has food, richie has food

one day the losers are are the annual derry town celebration and eddie goes to get some cotton candy for him and richie (their like 17 here)

he comes back and hands over the cotton candy to richie

mike goes to grabs some before eddie gives it to richie and without even thinking he just blurs out “NO thats for richie”

mike is just like taken aback

and eddie is too

hes just like “hmm sorry mike here take some of mine”

mike hesitantly takes some and whispers a quick thanks

eddie cheeks are red hot

“why do you only buy food for richie and never for us?” bev asks

“hm, idk, i just, uhm, i just do”

“but why only him, you've never bought us anything” ben pressed

“its just what i do, idk ive always done that”

theres a long moment of silence

after a minute the rest of the losers starts talking but eddie just sits there quietly

he starts to think of why he only buys food for richie

and he starts to think of how happy richie always looks when he brings him food

and the way he calls him cute

or the way he says “thanks Eds!” with a little pinch on the cheek

and he starts panicking

he cant breathe

he did it bc he liked it when richie gave him attention and looked at him as if, for those two seconds, he was richies whole world

he liked it

he liked richie

eddie just jumps out of his seat and beelines for his house

the losers all notice and mike decided to follow him

eddie gets to his house and just collapses near the tree, out of breathe and panicked

he cant like richie

but he did like richie

but why, he cant, richie is going to hate him, he cant like like richie no its a joke. hes just confused, they just confused him with all of these questions

that was it

he didnt like richie

he loved him

“fuck just shut up!” he yelled to himself

he just starts sobbing

Uncontrollable sobs

mike hears the crying and peddles faster

he gets to eddie and just sits next to him and wraps his arms around his shoulder

“its okay eddie just breathe okay listen to my breathing try to follow it”

they spend the next couple of minutes just concentrating on their breathing

when eddie finally calms down he just looks at mike, all red eyed and he blurs out

“i like him mike, thats why”

“why what eddie?”

“why i buy him all the food”

“oh, uhm, thats okay eddie”

“no its not =, how could i like my best friend, omg hes going to hate me, hes never going to want to talk to me again”

“You know i can never do that to my eds” they hear a voice say behind them

eddie froze, he was thinking of just bolting to his house and locking the door

“mike do you mind giving us some time alone?”

“yeah no problem man”

richie sits down next to eddie and eddie just looks straight ahead. hes too scared to look at richie

“eds, can you please look at me, i wanna say something”

eddie slowly turns his head towards richie. richie sees the tears and instinctively wipes them form his cheek

“ you know when you bring me food its usually the highlight of my day, it makes me believe that your thinking about me”

“ only makes you believe? im definitely thinking about you if im buying YOU food” eddie quietly chuckles

“ i know you are but i mean i always kinda hoped you thought of me for more than just food...”

eddie could see that richie was visibly nervous, he kept shaking his leg and biting his lip

Eddie put his hand on richie leg to try and calm him down, when he did that richie just gave him a comforting smile

“i dont want us to ruin our friendship overt this richie, i cant lose you”

“you’ll never lose me eds, we can take this slowly and figure it out together”

“okay, were going to find a way to make this work”

“ oh btw eds i brought you these”

richie pulled out a bag of gummy worms

eddies starts laughing and takes some. he rest his head on richies shoulder as he eats the gummies, knowing everything is going to be alright.\

#reddie prompt #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #reddie au #reddie imagine #reddie fanfic #reddie

127 notes · View notes

vandergeld · 4 years

Photo

hey everyone welcome BACK to my blog , hi , how are ya ? i’m RUZZY ( or ru , rudy idk if thats too much lmAO ) & i have not been apart of a group in 84 years ............ that graphic is so extra but i was bored & first impressions are everything , ANYWHO this is my mans WARNER played by my mans GRAYSON DOLAN , who lacks f’n resources so i gotta work some magic w/ all these gifs on tumblr lmao so any gif icons are noT mine for the most part they’ll be taken from gifs alr created ( s/o 2 the fly hunnies that made ‘em ) anyway ya’ll don’t really care abt me lmao soooooo here’s warner ! PLS feel free to hmu ANYTIME for the plots & things of that nature u could lit never bother me idc , my discord is 𝐫𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐳𝐢#1643 if u everrr need to get ahold of me when im not on tumblr !

𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍, cismale, he/his. → look out, there’s 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃. you know, the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 year old 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 of 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 𝐌𝐔. you know, i overheard someone say that they were 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄, 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 , 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 and 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐃. but that’s just rumours. fresh new pairs of air jordan 1's, the roar of a crowd in a stadium, and lost weekends come to mind when i think of them. what about you? [ ruzzy, he/him, 18, est ]

TW : CANCER MENTION , SMOKING MENTION .

// » GENERAL :

FULL NAME : warner evangelino alexander vandergeld ( inspired by the antagonists of white chicks lmaooo ) .

HOMETOWN : new york city , new york .

NICKNAMES : dumbass .

AGE : twenty .

BIRTHDAY : october twenty-first .

ZODIAC : libra .

GENDER : male .

PRONOUNS : he & him .

NATIONALITY : american .

ETHNICITY : german , italian , irish .

LABEL(S) : the golden boy , the lothario , the jock .

TROPE(S) : chick magnet , hormone-addled teenager , unwitting pawn , upper class twit ,

OCCUPATION : college student & collegiate football player & full time frat bro .

FRAT : beta lambada mu .

MAJOR : environmental science .

POS : charming , charismatic , brave , athetic , dedicated , eco-friendly , high-moral compass , book smart , kind , energetic , optimistic , loyal ( most of the time ) , respectful , well-rounded , level-headed , ambitious , debonair , life of the paty .

NEG : compulsive , easily-influenced , dimwitted , hypersexualized , problematic , addictive , rebellious , bemused , defensive , clingy , hopeless-romatic , overly-competitive , envious .

INSP : nate archibald ( gossip girl )

// » PAST :

warner was born & raised in the city that never sleeps and is the product of evangeline moretti-vandergeld , an intelligent american-italian socialite turned environmental politician , and captain william vandergeld , a former navy captain , and now a shareholder in some boring fortune 500 company that allowed his wife and son to live an affluent , and privileged life . his mother however , was the real deal , often using their sum of wealth to donate to multiple charities , organizations , etc, she was dedicated to keeping new york city ( and all who lived there ) clean and safe , and she instilled those same values onto her son.

some people are born lucky , and others , lucky to be born . warner was the first option . his childhood was nothing short of happiness , and happiest days were with his mother , for as long as he could remember , any happy moment in his childhood was faded right into her.

things took a drastic change his freshman year of ( private obvy lmao ) high-school . warner’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer , and little to his knowledge , it wasn’t looking pretty from the start . she was frequently in and out of the hospital for a few months at a time and it was not looking good on any fronts . one day when she went to the hospital it seemed like she never left , maybe she didn’t , those days were a blur for warner to be honest . watching his mother lose life , every single day was not a task he was up for .

by then it was just warner and his father , they were all they had in the big city . ( when he wasn’t always away on business ) warner grew up in that big luxy town house all by himself , with the company of loyal maids , chefs , and nannies of course . but in high school , the more he really submerged himself into it , it was a crazy world & he loved it . whilst getting demands from his father in tokyo to attend those boring sailing classes , warner instead headed out to their beach house in the hamptons for an early 20 rager .

warner undoubtedly knew the power he possessed , big man on campus type & it felt good , until about towards the end of his junior year he was honestly all partied out , but of course reputation is everything , in order to keep up thats when he picked up the real ugly habits , that were of course fun . smoking numerous amounts of marijuana , various girls in - and - out every other day was a feeling like no other , he knew it was wrong , he knew his mom would be ashamed , him doing all these things and not carrying on her legacy in some way . but he couldn’t help himself in a all honesty , and no doubt some of that transitioned over in college .

// » AES :

lost weekends partying , chicken wings & french fries , air jordan 1′s , gucci guilty cologne , friday night lights , clouds of smoke & red eyes , diamond encrusted jewelry glistening under bright lights in a dark room , nike sweatsuits , game winning moves , new york city at night , hamptons in the summer , spring break in miami , impulsive decisions .

// » TL;DR :

( and some stuff i probably missed oops ) warner is a conflicted mama’s boy who knows half the shit he does is wrong but can’t stop . after his mothers passing he had an absent father who seemed to always be away on business , only in town for a month or two , missing his sons’ multiple feats to keep himself distracted from the fact that his wife was no longer with them. created immense daddy issues for warner , especially since he was a standout football star & 2x stage champ in high school , and is currently playing collegiality for the irish , with dreams of making it in the nfl cause screw his dad he don’t wanna go 2 the navy , or work for dat company # not gonna happen . warner took great advantage of wealth & his fathers absence , but he’s lowkey partied out in college , or so he likes to say but he fakes it ‘till he makes it bc he doesn’t his brothers to think he’s lame . HE’S LIVING FOR EVERYBODY BUT HIM BASICALLY .

// » HEADCANONS :

warner is on a football scholarship majoring in environmental science bc although he most likely won’t do shit w/ da degree its for mommy .

he can EASILY be manipulated or taken advantage of , he’s book smart but lowkey dumber than a fucking box of rocks

immastonerbyyoungthug.mp3 . occasionally , but , more so than that ? he always manages to flush out his system in time if needed be , but he loves 2 roll up # stress relief

a BEAST on that field ( student athlete meme here )

has all the canon gray tattoos bc fuck what dad thinks . he wears a solid 16 inch gold chain , and another of the same length with his moms’ name on it , never fucking takes it off , showers with it cause he can .

ok ........ he rich , but like not i can do whatever i want rich ??? he may not ever have to work a day in his life , but he don’t got the pull u think he does w/ his dumb ass u probably couldn’t even tell he’s got money with his minimalist fashion sense .

he has a higher moral compass than most of his frat bros , but the stupid shit he does , u most likely won’t even be able to tell , he’s definitely a serial romeo and a heartbreaker , one compliment ? he’s ready to drop his pants & fall in love w/ u .

HE DUMB , but like he can talk his way into & out of anything , most of the time , batting those big brown eyes & a million dollar smile has saved his ass on multiple occasions .

// » WANTED CONNECTIONS :

EX-GIRLFRIEND : i’m thinking his first & only “ serious “ relationship while in college . were going pretty steady until he cheated on her ( hmm wc on who he cheated on her w/ ?? ) , she never found out but that guilt ate warner TF UP so he cut things off with her via text message and blocked her number , ignores her any chance he gets ‘till this day , cause he doesn’t have any balls and cannot face his fears .

FRAT BROS : lowkey what i’m MOST excited for asdfgh like whoever is in beta lambada mu hit me the fuck UP so we can discuss dynamics , roomates , allat .

FOOTBALL TEAM : same for above , he’s lowkey cocky & got sly comments when he’s on the field , he constantly humbles himself but can’t helps it , he is hot shit and he knows it , how does his team feel ab that ?? w/ his defensive ass !

GOOD-LUCK CHARM : prolly a girl ( bonus points if a cheerleader ??? im not picky tho i promise if ur muse don’t shake poms idc ) it happened out the blue , they screamed his name while the team was walking out for a game , and she called that he’d get 3 td’s and thats exactly what he did now they joke ab it and shit ( maybe a goodluck kiss b4 games bc its warner lolol ) idk i came up wit it on the spot but i love it.

// » MISC :

i’m a dumbass & this got way longer than i expected but if u made it all the way thru ily .

#clovers.intro #♔ — ∞ ⁞ @ 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃 ↱ OOC.#im so srry this a novel #but woot woot im so excited !!!!

17 notes · View notes

bo0zey · 4 years

Note

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person???

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!!

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

11 notes · View notes

ofphcenixes · 5 years

Text

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room. i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao. we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

#( blue ; converse ! )#( blue & libby ! )#WE LOVE CRYING

1 note · View note

alien-bodies · 6 years

Text

Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

#Open For Sicc Facts Abt Me #ianposting

10 notes · View notes

dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

Note

hello there buttercup!! 🌟💝☀ it's lovely to see you again this night, morgy dear! i hope today was much better for you than yesterday, you do only deserve nice and pleasant days after all dolcezza ��💞 (1/12?)

"in all seriousness, i'm sorry to hear that yesterday was so terrible for you my darling, but the hard part is over, you got through it! its hard when things get overwhelming, but please remember that it's okay to take a step back and get through it one day at a time!! make sure to do some things that you find relaxing/enjoyable, and if you do need/want a little cheering up at any time, don't be shy to let me know!! i have a lot of tricks up my sleeve hehe 💓 (2/12)

and oh my, you like cheesecake too dear?? ahhh it's one of my favorite classic desserts!! my favorite kinds are strawberry, key lime, and this special family recipe of mine,, it's a limoncello cheesecake with a touch of strawberry compote, it's especially refreshing during the summer! oh goodness, i'll have to make it for you sometime, i bet you'd love it! ✨ (3/12?)

ah, and the accident?? i actually don't mind talking about it since it was so many years ago, i've worked through it enough,, so i can tell you! a warning though: it is pretty brutal, so for those who are easily triggered, please scroll past for your well-being! (4/12)

it happened the weekend after one of my annual finale ballet recitals, which was strange timing indeed,, my mamma and i were driving down a highway to go home from an appointment, when a car behind us suddenly swerved and hit us from the left side, towards the back,, unfortunately i took most of the impact, but thankfully my mom wasn't too injured, just in shock (5/12)

i don't remember much except flashing lights from the police cars and people yelling, but a few minutes later i found myself being carried and placed into the back of a truck,, apparently a good samaritan wanted to help drive us to the hospital since it would take too long for the ambulance to arrive, i fell asleep and woke up in the ER (6/12)

and thank god, i didn't have any life-threatening injuries or any broken bones, just a very sprained ankle, a concussion, and cuts/bruises from glass shards,, i only stayed for a night and then we both left quickly,, what caused me to sadly stop ballet and skating wasn't the injuries themselves as much as it was the aftermath (7/12)

i found myself having a very painful time when trying to execute different moves and my endurance took a severe hit,, we soon determined that continuing such high-intensity sports in this state would be detrimental to my body,, (8/12)

it was truly crushing since being a prima donna was little me's biggest dream, but not everything works out,, i've greatly recovered over the years, but it's still difficult to do certain things because of the after-effects, so for now i'll just continue dancing and just watch figure skating and ballet from the sidelines! (9/12, i had to go on anon since i hit the limit 😅)

anyway, aside from the sad stuff, today was quite relaxing for once!! i actually ate a nice breakfast today, and i ended up spending my morning lounging around and playing minecraft, which was nice 🌸after cooking dinner for my family, i went to check on the bunnies again, and today they got themselves into a sticky situation hehehe 💫 there's a section of the garden that's fenced off, where different types of hot peppers grow,, (10/12)

they're not allowed in there since the pepper plant leaves are extremely spicy and not good for them to eat,, but somehow, they were able to jump the high fence and get inside!! the poor little bunbuns were trapped and couldn't find a way out... so i had to lure them close with vegetables and pick them up (which took all of 10 minutes) they're little troublemakers, but i guess they make up for it with cuteness 🌺 (11/12)

boh,, i seem to be getting sleepy now, maybe that's why a headache came on all of a sudden! well, i guess i'll take my leave for the night!! sleep well amore, i'll be thinking of you 💘- love from the moon and back, waifu xoxo 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗ps: rollerblading hm?? ooh, maybe you could teach me~ 😘 (12/12)"

Let me start off by saying that ur so lucky u made it out without any severe injuries like....ur life really sounds like a movie bc wtf🤡🤡 u went thru some real shit yet here u are snatchin wigs and acting like an angel, we all dont deserve u fjdhdjd like honestly thats so fucked?? Imagine loving to do smth only to not be able to do it anymore and ur dreams being shattered bc of smth like an accident that was someone else's fault happenin...its a damn shame and i hope maybe someday u will be able to pick up on ballet or ice skating again and i'll be personally looking for the one who did this

On another note, im glad u relaxed again bruh shhchd i also a d o r e cheesecake and its one of my fav desserts, i acc really love the strawberries, blackberries and raspberries ones the most (although lemon ones arent bad either and i once tried an orange one which was g o o d) 😩😩 thank u as always for whising me the za best also, unfoetinately today my volleyball practice was canceled due to cases increasing again and the coach said they'll resume in the following weeks so 🗿🗿🗿🗿

AnYwAYs u lookin our for the bunnies is still the cutest most disney princess thing ever and im all for it👁️ also i def will have to teach u rollerblading fjshhss ppl say its the same as ice skating but i beg to differ....while i can rollerblade like a pro i cant ice skate to save my own ass s o-

#but fr now...u went thru some shit and dare i say it was fate bc u made it thru all of it??#i mean the universe knew u were way too kind and pure hearted so u always made it out no matter what #its a damn shame bruh....i do want to see u succeeding as a ballerina or figure skater one day😤#the confessional

4 notes · View notes

anxirinrin · 4 years

Text

Awful things ive been told by X so i will never forget bc X sure did

TW: Some stuff are really awful like rape mention and slut shaming and might trigger some people i just needed somewhere to vent

-for my sister's birthday, x made some fries and cream sauce with mushroom (my favorite). I was hungry and everyone kept talking and talking so i snuck out to the kitchen and stole some fries with sauce to put in a sandwich. Turns out they forgot (like every adults) to go grocery shopping and basically i took too much sauce and there was no cream to make some more so i got screamed at bc i was fat and i ate too much and that i should lose all that weight bc otherwise i would get raped by all the boys in highschool with the huge ass i had :). Tbh i still to this day dont understand how did we run out of cream bc rn even tho idont have a car or a driving license i sure damn well go on shopping spree by walking. Unless it was on a sunday and they forgot. Anywaaay

-I actually thought that i was exaggerating that one time but she actually said it again (in front of my sister this time but she sure will never act like she was here) when i told her might not pass my 3rd year of mechanical engineering and that i will probably redo and she told me i better not bc she wants me to stop taking the subway as soon as possible and if i redo a year it will be one more year where ill need to take the subway and if i get raped in the subway it will be my own fault for failing a year and putting myself in danger for one unnecessary year.

-When i had a free semester (i failed my second year lets just say i was still pretty shaken by my dad's death) i wanted to take a job she didnt want me to but she wanted me to take care of the website of her shop. I said i didnt want to bc (she literally asked "would u like to do it???" So i said no) .. i didnt want to deal with her crusty ass annoying clients and running a fb page really isnt my thing so my older sister took care of it. However an order got lost bc it was made on a post in a fb group which deleted our post hence deleting the comments and the order with it. My sister didnt understand what waa going on and then tried to explain to mum and then my mum screamed at her that we basically were making fun of her and taking advantage of the fact she didnt know how to use technology (she is a fb addict she uses it more often in a week than i did for the past 7 years). Anyway my sister got mad cried in her car and while she wasnt here my mum screamed at me telling me everything was my fault bc i refuses to take care of her fb page and that my sister had better things in her life and at work than doing this and that one day something real bad was going to happen to my sister if she gets this upset one more time bc she is asthmatic (and get asthma crisis when she is upset) and that it would be my fault.

-also like a week after my dad died she made a personal mission to tell me daily that in the religious fb group she is someone told her that someone brutally/suddenly dying like my dad was a warning that happen when someone in the house doesnt pray (like me and my sister but somehow im the only one who got this kind of reminder).

-in the same time she like cornered me in the bathroom and she was really depresses after my dad died and i was too and she would end up crying on my shoulder telling me to get fit, study and pray (idk if that was supposed to be an encouragement but it sure was ill-timed 💀)

-when i was in middle school she was CONSTANTLY comparing me to 2 other girls bc they were thing and had good grades (not as good as mine but anyway) the thing that kills me is that both of these girls were bitchy (each in their own way) and she knew it first hand but still she would rather have a slim bitch (as a mean person) of daughter rather than a fat normal one.

-on top of that she would regularly hide the key of the kitchen so i would not eat between my meals which is not the bad thing in this point. She also would never allow me to wear knee-lenght dresses or short (i was allowed to shave anyway soo) for middle to high school all of this while bragging abt the miniskirt she used to wear when she was thirteen. When i talked abt it my sister she was like " but u know mum is not all that picky about clothes she would let u wear anything you want if u were not fat". Again thats not the worst thing yet. The worst thing is when YEARS later we talked abt how/in what way/when did each one of us put on weight and when it came to my turn she went like "no u u were not fat in school it all started when u entered uni" like what??? What????? U called me a cow when i was in middle school and when i hid to cry abt u ran after me and screamed "why are u crying? Just loose some weight!" hysterically and a of this but suddenly u turn around and act like u never thought i was fat????? "We have picture of you this age u were not fat" yeah exactly i wasnt but u don't get to say it bc it will erase all the shit u did. Suddenly i become the crazy one bc if i wasnt fat yet then there was no reason for you to do all of this so obviously i must be imagining things and lying 💀💀💀💀

0 notes