#i told him about monster factory and last podcast on the left | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cactibarber · 4 years

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Monster Factory

So I may have decided to write my first fanfic and it may be an awful crackfic between My Brother, My Brother, and Me and The Magnus Archives- two podcasts with completely complimentary humor, tone, and storylines.

Since it’s my first fanfic- please give me advice/critique! It’s been forever since I’ve written anything non-scientific so I need the practice lol

I’m planning on this only being the first chapter so stay tuned I guess! I don’t have an AO3 account yet, but I’m planning on putting it up there too.

anyways enjoy the mcelroys annoying the shit out of jon sims or whatever (and also some jonmartin)

Jon tapped his fingers on his desk slowly, while he listened to the clock behind him tick on. Slowly. So, so slowly. He sighed, trying to relax his shoulders past their usual home of “right near his ears”. His boredom started to reach and stretch into that little part of his mind that could See™, but he quickly sucked those boredom tendrils back in.

After his “encounter” with Peter Lukas, nothing much had happened in the institute. Elias had disappeared after his brief meeting with him in the Panopticon, Basira had returned with a slightly more aggravated than usual Daisy in tow, and life at the Magnus Institute had gone back to whatever semblance of normal it had had beforehand. And it was driving Jon insane. He was constantly worrying about where Elias was, if Julia and Trevor were still staking out the institute, and what if Peter Lukas hadn’t been lying about the Extinction, and he was just about to miss the ritual-

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, and Jon looked up quickly. Martin’s round, perpetually slightly worried face peeked through the crack in the door. Jon looked up and smiled, shoulders dropping at least halfway back to their anatomically correct position. “Martin,” he said excitedly. “How are you feeling today?”

“Fine, Jon,” Martin replied. He nervously tapped his fingers against the doorframe, looking as if he had marbles in his mouth, and he was rolling them around trying to find the right one.

“We’re still on for tonight, if that’s what you were wondering,” Jon said hurriedly. “Unless-”

“Oh, no- that’s not what I was here to talk to you about,” Martin interrupted. “I mean that’s good-”

“Great, then-”

“Well, there’s another- thing- that’s come up,” he finished.

“Oh lord,” Jon groaned. “Is it those two again? We should make sure Daisy and Basira know, and get ready to pull the fire alarm-”

“No, no,” Martin interrupted again. “It’s not them, but Rosie said we might have to watch out for anyone taking the east route since it’s full of alleys that they could be hiding in, but that’s not the point.” Martin drummed the doorframe again, taking a second before he said, “Someone wants to give a statement.”

Jon’s reaction was immediate- his shoulders shot up and he slumped in his chair, trying to make himself smaller than he already was. But his eyes seemed to light up, with a ferocity only seen in wild animals and slighted moms at soccer games. “Martin, you know I can’t- I said I wouldn’t- not to another person. Especially after-”

“Yes, I know, and I told them that I could take the statement for them, but the older one started talking about “taking it to the top”, and, well, I feel that, well, I think that we might need a little help from the Eye.”

“What does that even mean- wait. The older one, as in, there are multiple people trying to give a statement?”

“tmfhree.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, three. Three people are outside waiting to get their collective statement taken.”

Martin quickly slipped into Jon’s office and shut the door to keep the very loud curse Jon let out inside.

“Come on, Jon. It won’t be so bad. You might not even have to compel them or anything-”

“Oh, I won’t have to compel them? That makes it so much better, Martin, that I don’t have to compel them. It’s not like you’re basically showing me, no, giving me, a five-course meal when I’m on a diet-”

“Jon-”

“And I know that when- if- I give in, everything will be ruined again. And- and I’ve been making progress, I swear, and-”

“Jon.” Martin brought his hands down on Jon’s shoulders heavily. Jon shakily breathed in, grounding himself through the added weight, and the warmth of Martin’s hands. “Look at me.” When Jon refused to look up from the hole he was drilling into the table with his eyes, Martin gently cupped his chin and raised his head to meet his eyes. “If you really don’t want to take their statement, you don’t have to. I’ll do my best, or get Rosie to send them along. But, their situation is a bit immediate, and they need help. And I know, that you’re worried about what happened before, but I trust you to, you know, rein yourself in.”

Martin suddenly realized the position he was in, and flushed red, quickly trying to extract his hand from its position on Jon’s face, but Jon moved quicker, pressing his own hand into Martin’s. “Okay,” he muttered quietly. “I’ll do it.”

A slight smile spread across Martin’s face, and he rubbed his thumb in circles on Jon’s scarred skin. “Okay,” he said softly. Martin reluctantly pulled his hand away and moved toward the door. “By the way, if you do scar or retraumatize them awfully, you shouldn’t worry about them too much.” Martin opened the door and stepped into the hallway. “They’re Americans.”

Jon shifted in his chair, waiting for his customers? Patients? To step in. He caught a tape recorder in the corner of his eye, and moved to grab it and place it in the center of his desk. It wouldn’t hurt to seem a bit more professional, he thought, as he willfully ignored the state that his office was in. He heard multiple voices and what sounded like the footsteps of a monster with thirty feet coming down the hallway. “Come in,” he said sharply, before Martin could knock on the door.

Martin opened the door and let in three men in their early 30’s. The contrast between them startled Jon, and it took a while to let the wild picture in front of him sink in.

The tallest man had bright purple hair and a beard, and what looked like eyeliner behind his glasses. He was wearing what could only be described as a cowboy shirt, and the look was completed with his dark brown cowboy boots. The oldest looking of the three was wearing a garishly neon Hawaiian shirt with a bright green fanny pack, with some weird designs on it. The shortest and youngest-looking looked like he could work in the financial department of the institute. He looked absolutely normal. No, not normal- boring.

But that wasn’t the whole deal. Because each one of these men was talking. Whether they were talking to each other or to Martin or Jon or just to thin air was incomprehensible, and Jon felt a migraine coming on.

“So you’re the big boss, right? The big dog of this little establishment,” the purple-haired man said.

“Well-” Jon started.

“C’mon Trav, the big boss boy wouldn’t have this small of an office,” the Hawaiian shirt man interrupted. “Not that there’s anything wrong with your office,” he said quickly. “It’s homey and cozy in here but I would expect-”

“A penthouse office in the middle of Central London?” the youngest one interjected. “Are you kidding me? How many stories did you see on the building when we walked in, Justin?”

“How many stories a building has has nothing to do with it, Griffin! I”m just saying that-”

“That you’d expect a weird cryptid magic institution to have nice offices? This is probably one of their front offices, and they have the nice ones, you know with the haunted stuff and ghost circles and-” The purple-haired man broke off and turned to Jon. “Not that we have anything against haunted stuff or ghost circles, but-”

“But that’s not what we’re here about, we discussed this, that we weren’t gonna get sidetracked and now look at you trying to get a job here-”

“I’m not trying to get a job here, I’m just saying-”

Jon desperately looked up at Martin, pleading with his eyes for him to stay. Martin smiled, a little too cruelly for his liking, and waved to Jon as he left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

“Gentlemen,” Jon began, raising his voice over the din. “Please- can we start with names?”

“Oh, of course,” the oldest one said, pushing the other two over to the chairs in front of Jon’s desk. “We’re the McElroy brothers-”

“You might have heard of us from our great bits in Trolls 2,” the youngest one said brightly.

“Trolls World Tour, Griffin, I told you. And I don’t think he’s even watched Trolls 1 so-”

“How would you know that? You don’t know him, he might be the biggest Trolls fan in England-”

Jon cleared his throat, and when it didn’t stop the deluge of conversation, cleared it again. By the time the three men heard him, it sounded like he was trying to hack out a hairball. “Gentlemen-”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” the older man said, shooting the other two a dirty glare. “Like I was saying, we’re the McElroys- I’m Justin McElroy, and these are my two dipshit brothers Travis,” he said, pointing at the purple-haired man, “and Griffin.”

“You didn’t let us introduce ourselves,” Travis pouted. He turned to Jon. “We have this thing we like to do, and I get to say that I’m the middlest-”

“That doesn’t matter Travis, we’re not recording an episode of the fucking podcast,” Griffin said exasperatedly. “Sorry for being blue, but we’re here to talk about some real nasty shit,” he said, whispering the last word.

Jon took the opportunity to jump into the conversation. “Yes, what are you here to talk about? Martin said it was rather urgent.”

For once, there was silence in the room, as the three brothers shared glances. The silence went on for a bit too long, until Griffin elbowed Justin in the side. “Ow- I guess since my brothers have decided that they have lost all use of their vocal cords, which is great for our careers, by the way, that I’ll explain.” Griffin rolled his eyes and Travis stifled a giggle.

Jon, out of habit, reached to turn on the tape recorder, and was only mildly surprised to see that it was already running. Maybe there was a statement here after all. “What is this regarding?” he asked seriously, willfully ignoring the glances at the outdated technology.

“Well,” Justin started, “it’s about, I mean it’s a bit hard to explain.” He stopped abruptly and ran his fingers through his hair. “We-”

“We saw our video game monsters last night,” Griffin interrupted.

Jon sighed, deeper and fuller than he had ever sighed before. “Statement of the...McElroy brothers, regarding,” another deep, deep sign, “video game monsters come to life. Statement recorded direct from subjects, 1st October, 2018. Statement begins.”

#tma #the magnus archives #mbmbam #sabs stuff #monster factory #mcelroys #i can't believe i wrote this #crosstalk was so fun to write #i felt like neon from hxh #just letting the spirits of the mcelroys flow through me #griffin mcelroy #justin mcelroy #travis mcelroy #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin

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vfdarkness · 5 years

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A Voice From Darkness - Ep2 - Do Not Ask Questions

Below is a transcript for the second episode of our horror & dark fantasy audiodrama. You can listen to it on Apple, Google Play, wherever you normally listen to podcasts or here.

INTRO

Dark ambient drone.

RYDER

You are in your bedroom late at night. You hear your child call out for help. You rush down the hall only to find two versions of your child. You're unsure which is the true one - and which the imposter.

A beat.

RYDER

You need my help.

DARK AMBIENT DRONE CHANGES TO:

INTRO MUSIC

RYDER

This is A Voice From Darkness.

Intro music continues, but gradually fades out.

ACT I

RYDER

Hello, this is Dr. Malcolm Ryder, parapsychologist. As always, If you're experiencing anything supernatural, paranormal, unexplainable in anyway. Please call in. I'm here - to help.

A beat.

RYDER

While we wait for a call to come in, I have to say, it is a gorgeous evening in Chicago. On my way into the studio I got off the brownline two stops early and walked the rest of the way. Oh, and we have a call on the line. Let's patch them through. Hello caller, you're on the air. Tell us your name and the nature of the otherworldly situation you find yourself in.

All of Rachel's dialogue has the SFX of coming through a phone.

RACHEL

(frantic)

Rachel. Rachel. My name's Rachel. There's people in my car. There weren't any before, but then they - they appeared. What do I do - what - what...

RYDER

(interrupts)

What part of the country are you in?

RACHEL

They don't... they don't look human. Their faces... they're long. Pale. Their eyes. Oh my god, their eyes...

RYDER

(interrupts)

What part of the country are you in?

RACHEL

Wyoming. Why does that matter?

There's an unfriendly teeth chattering/clicking sound through the phone - followed by a gasp from Rachel.

RYDER

Listen to me carefully. Do not ask questions. Do not stop driving. Do not say another word unless answering a question from me.

A beat.

RYDER

In your car are the Unwelcome Riders. You're on I-80, correct?

No response.

RYDER

Rachel, you can answer my question.

RACHEL

Yes. Yes I am.

RYDER

And you went through the Green River Tunnel.

That's when they appeared in your car - as you exited the tunnel.

RACHEL

I went through a tunnel. I don't know the name of it.

RYDER

It's the Green River Tunnel. The Unwelcome Riders - they appear in traveler's vehicles. Mostly people who are alone.

RACHEL

I am alone. I was alone. I'm moving across the country - to Chicago. Your city. I got a job offer there. Will - will I make it?

There's a chattering sound through the phone.

RYDER

Do not ask questions. If you ask questions, they will... well, let's not talk about that. But yes, Rachel. If you listen to me, do as I say, you will make it to Chicago. It's a beautiful night tonight - you heard me say that earlier? It's going to be beautiful all week long. We'll get you here safe and you can see it for yourself.

RACHEL

I'd like that.

The chattering of The Unwelcome Riders continues.

RACHEL

They're all - they're all making noises.

RYDER

Yes, I can hear them. You're lucky. There're eight "families" of Unwelcome Riders - at least that we know of. The ones in your car - the Green River Tunnel Family - is one of the least likely to... to follow through with their ritual.

RACHEL

What's there-

RYDER

(interrupts)

Do. Not. Ask. Questions. Do not ask questions. Do not exit the road you're on - until I tell you to. If you do either of these things...

A beat.

RYDER

You're unlikely to make it to Chicago. Do you understand?

RACHEL

Yes. But... how do I...

She stops herself.

RACHEL

Tell me under what conditions they'll leave my car.

RYDER

A little over twenty miles from the Green River Tunnel is a tourist attraction called Little America. Have you seen signs? How far away are you?

RACHEL

I just past a sign, it's ten miles away.

RYDER

Good. Drive there. Park your car at the tourist stop. It doesn't matter if it's open or closed.

Rachel shudders.

RACHEL

One of them. One of the ones in the back is stroking my hair. What do I...

She stops herself from asking the question.

RACHEL

Tell me what to do to get it to stop.

RYDER

I - I don't know. I don't recall any of them exhibiting that behavior before.

Ryder pulls out a book and frantically flips through pages.

RYDER

Give me a minute. I have written accounts in front of me. All known incidents involving the Unwelcome Riders.

RACHEL

(crying)

My hair. My hair is falling out. When... when it touches me, it's like my hair and skin are dying.

RYDER

Give me a minute, Rachel. Let's go to Today in Odd America while I review my research.

TODAY IN ODD AMERICA

TIOA music plays.

RYDER

Today in Odd America we find ourselves in Delton, Nebraska. The year, 2010. Delton, like many rural Midwestern towns was dying. The young fled for bigger cities. Half the town was unemployed. The other half on disability. Or drug addicts. The community was in a state of despair.

A beat.

RYDER

Until a Stranger came to town.

A beat.

RYDER

Yes, you've heard those words on this show before - and they nearly always denote the arrival of The Traveling Salesman. And this story - the story of Delton, Nebraska - is the last known sighting of that dark dealmaker.

A beat.

RYDER

The people of Delton gathered in their town hall. They were told a man arrived who had jobs - jobs for everyone who wanted one. Well-paying jobs. The people of Delton liked this man. He stood before them in their hall - He was handsome, but not in the way of a Hollywood star. He wore a grey suit, but nothing too fancy. However he was missing his left ring finger. The people of Delton did not know that this was a tell-tale sign - a warning - that the man who stood before them was no man at all... but The Traveling Salesman. A monster if ever there was one.

A beat.

RYDER

The Traveling Salesman told Delton that he represented a company - that company's name, I do not know - but the company he told them - had made a wondrous technological breakthrough. One that would change the way Americans worked forever. And they wanted to start with the town of Delton. "How would you all like to work in your sleep?" The Traveling Salesman asked. "No fooling," he said. "With our technology, we can put you to work in your bed at night. Come work for us in your dreams, get paid, and have your waking hours all to yourself."

A beat.

RYDER

It sounded too good to be true. And of course it was.

A beat.

RYDER

Those who agreed to The Traveling Salesman's deal - most of the town I'm afraid to say - dreamed that night of a scarcely-lit concrete warehouse. Above, from the second story, they saw windows looking down on the warehouse floor. Frosted glass windows. From behind, could be seen the silhouette of a gigantic creature - with the abdomen and thorax of a spider. But impossibly long human arms. And its heads. Its heads in a shape like nothing the people of Delton had ever seen before. The dream-workers performed the same monotonous task all throughout the night - filling a black sand into cardboard boxes, sealing the boxes shut, and placing them on a conveyor belt. The boxes disappeared from the factory.

A beat.

RYDER

When the dream-workers awoke, they were exhausted. They experienced no rest from their sleep. And so, during the day, they'd attempt to sleep again. But they found themselves right back in the same concrete warehouse. Working another shift.

A beat.

RYDER

The Traveling Salesman had stayed in town to encourage others to accept his offer. Many of the dream-workers went to him, begged him to let them quit. They wanted their sleep back. No amount of money was worth what they'd bargained away. The Traveling Salesman told them - sorry, but he wasn't their boss. Their boss could be found in their dreams, behind the frosted glass of the second floor. If they desired to quit, they merely had to go tell the creature there they wished to.

A beat.

RYDER

None quit. Soon after, all the dream-workers of Delton died from exhaustion. The Traveling Salesman disappeared. As he always does. He has not been seen since. The town of Delton is no more. Where its buildings and streets once stood - there is now only black sand.

A beat.

RYDER

If you see a handsome man who wears a grey suit and offers you a deal too good to be true, remember to look at his left hand. Look at his ring finger. If it is missing, turn his deal down, and run from him. That is the only way to possibly survive The Traveling Salesman.

A beat.

RYDER

This has been Today in Odd America.

ACT II

RYDER

Rachel, are you still there?

RACHEL

Yes.

RYDER

I found a case - similar to yours - with the hair stroking. Normally, if one encounters the Green River Tunnel Family, they simply park their car at Little America and wait thirteen minutes. The Unwelcome Riders then disappear from the vehicle. In this case though...

A beat.

RYDER

I'm afraid you'll need to do a bit more.

RACHEL

Anything. Anything to get through this.

RYDER

How far are you from Little America?

RACHEL

I'm almost at the exit.

RYDER

Good. Go there. Park in one of the odd numbered spots in front of the hotel.

RACHEL

What if there aren't any-

(interrupted)

RYDER

We'll worry about that if it happens. But not before then.

We hear the car driving, the turn signal to indicate the car is taking the exit.

RYDER

Do you have something sharp on you? Something you could stab or cut with?

RACHEL

Do I need to stab or cut them?

Angry Chattering. Rachel screams.

RACHEL

The one behind me. It ripped out a chunk of my hair.

RYDER

You asked a question. They don't like questions. Do you have a knife or something sharp?

RACHEL

I think I have a box cutter in the glove box.

RYDER

When you park, you'll need it.

RACHEL

But one of them - one of them is sitting in front of it. How do I -

(stops herself)

I won't be able to get the box cutter without reaching across the... the Unwelcome Rider - the one in the front passenger seat.

RYDER

You'll have to reach across and open the glove box.

RACHEL

I'm parking. Parking in spot number three.

We hear the car slowing, breaking. The car shifted into park.

RYDER

Good. They'll like that number. Get your box cutter.

We hear Rachel's heavy breathing as she slowly reaches across the creature.

She opens the glove box. She moves things around inside.

And grabs the box cutter.

She slams the glove box shut again.

RACHEL

I have it. I have it. It didn't stop me from getting it or touch me or anything.

RYDER

Listen now - you need to open the box cutter - get the blade out. And you need to - you need to cut yourself. Across the palm of your hand. Make an X on the palm of your hand. So two cuts. Neither of them can be shallow. You must bleed.

RACHEL

I can't. I can't. You didn't tell me I'd have to do that.

RYDER

If you don't do that. If you don't follow the instructions I give you - you will disappear. The Unwelcome Riders will take you with them. Where to - I have no idea. Anyone who's been abducted by them - any of the families - has never returned. You must do this if you want to make it to Chicago.

Rachel winces.

RACHEL

I - I did it. I cut myself. There's a bloody X on my right hand. Is that it?

Angry chattering.

Rachel screams.

The chattering and scream fade away.

RYDER

Rachel? Rachel? Are you still there?

A beat.

RYDER

Rachel?

A beat.

RYDER

(underbreath)

You were so close. So close. Why did you ask another question? Why did you ask so many questions? You could have... you could have made it. You almost did.

A long pause.

RYDER

(exhausted)

That's all for this evening. Please - if you're having any problems that are... supernatural. Paranormal. Call-in next time. On A Voice From Darkness.

Outro Music.

#horror #darkfantasy #audiodrama #audio drama #audiofiction #audio fiction #podcast #avfd #thetravelingsalesman #nosleep #creepypasta

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