#i thought about inviting her to my bday game night but... it doesn’t feel right for me to be the one to initiate any type of friendship

[jancys-blue-bayou]

If you are still taking requests could write about Jancy when they were younger? I see a lot of posts about the idea of Jonathan liking Nancy since when Mike & Will became friends and Nancy possibly having some feelings too. I think it would be cute if they first met at one of their sibling's bday party where the sibs are like 6 (grade 1) and they are 10 (grade 5) and just exploring the feelings and interactions throughout the years building and leading up to the event of them getting together.

Great prompt! Not exactly what you asked for here with the birthday party but, here you get Jancy reminiscing about growing up and noticing each other. From their first day of kindergarten to Mike and Will’s first day to more…

Also on Ao3 and FFnet!

”Do you remember when we first met?”

They’re just laid cuddling in his bed one night when Nancy asks him the question. It’s been a wonderful day in all its simplicity. Being with Nancy will never be simplistic of course, but it’s nice that they’ve now been together long enough to have developed routines. Comfortable and nice, just spending all their time together doing nothing special. Nothing special is really nice after everything they’ve gone through. After school they went to his house, studied together for awhile. Had dinner with his family. Fooled around in his room for awhile. Then Nancy said good night to him, his mom and his brother. And then snuck back in through his bedroom window as always. He suspects his mom has seen right through their routine but as long as she doesn’t bring it up, he’s sure as hell not going to so they keep going at this charade pretending like he and Nancy doesn’t also spend all their nights together.

”Of course. First day of kindergarten. You had a pink dress and pink backpack and you had your hair in two braids. With pink scrunchies,” he smiles at the still vivid memory of five year old Nancy Wheeler.

”I like pink,” she tells him and gives him a light smack on the arm. ”But I don’t really remember you from the first day, I think it was the third day I noticed you.”

”Makes sense, I tried to make myself invisible. School was scary with all the new people.”

”Aw.”

”But yes it was the third day. You were the first person who talked to me. I mean, besides Mrs. Morton.”

”Aw, really? You didn’t speak to anyone the first two days?”

”No, I was scared to. Everything was new, the first day I just tried to get used to everything. I thought I would try and talk to someone the second day but when I was walking in uh, Steve and Tommy pointed out my old shoes and jacket and laughed because they were old and scuffed and too big for me. Since I was supposed to grow into them. And everyone turned around and looked and laughed so then I figured it best to try and not to be noticed so I didn’t say anything.”

”That’s awful, I don’t remember that.”

”I don’t think you were there right then.”

”Steve used to be such a little jerk. Tommy still is.”

”Yeah. Well, water under the bridge now. Anyway, so yeah you were the first person who talked to me, the next day. When you asked me if I wanted to play hopscotch with you and Barb.”

”You were just stood in the corner of the schoolyard near us.”

”I was trying to stay clear of the boys.”

”You said yes though, when I asked you. Why did you do that if you wanted to be invisible?”

”I don’t know… you seemed nice. And even if I’ve never exactly been the most sociable…”

”No, stop…” Nancy josses him.

”… three days of no talking was a bit much even for me. So I said yes because you seemed nice and I had seen you and Barb play hopscotch before and I thought that looked more fun than that game the boys played where they threw the ball at each other and then just tackled each other to the ground.”

”Hah, yeah. Barb didn’t want me too invite you to play with us at first I remember. We were pretty suspicious of all boys but you seemed different. You were quiet, I didn’t know boys could be quiet.”

”Really?” He chuckles.

”Well yeah all the other boys in the class was just… loud. And Mike was almost two years old and very loud. You were the first boy I met who wasn’t loud, I liked that.”

He giggles at that.

”I wish I had played more with you. I don’t get why we didn’t, you were fun to play with it even though you were so shy. But I was so tied to Barb, we did pretty much everything together just the two of us back then.”

”Yeah… I wish we had too but, eh. It is what it is. Maybe if I’d been less shy.”

”You wouldn’t have been you then. Hey, remember when Mike and Will started kindergarten?”

”Yeah. Will was so nervous just like I’d been but I promised him I’d show him around and all, that I’d have his back and that he’d meet lots of new friends. He was glued to my side for as long as he could, he didn’t want to go into class when the bell rung and we’d have to go our separate ways.”

”Aw.”

”And I remember I was worried since they had recess earlier than us, if he’d be okay. But when I got out he was on the swings with Mike and talking to him like they’d known each other forever. And then you were there next to me.”

”Yeah. It was the same for me, I promised mom I’d look after Mike. He was such a scaredy cat back then and shy. He told me after that Will asked him to play on the swings with him and that was that. So I could kind of back off. But you know, when I first saw Mike on the swings with Will I had to look twice because Will looked so much like you did in kindergarten. Right down to the clothes even.”

”Yeah I remember, you turned to me and said he must be my brother.”

”And you said yes and asked me if Mike was my brother.”

”And you said yes and asked me to play again.”

They lay in a comfortable silence for awhile, the trip down memory lane evoking more images of the past to think of. Nancy breaks the silence first.

”Do you remember when they talked us into being part of their campaign?”

”I remember you in elf ears,” Jonathan giggles.

”Shut up! I was being a good sister,” Nancy smacks him on the arm again but can’t help but giggle herself.

”You always were.”

”Eh, not always. Not like you. Best brother in the world. You know Mike told me years ago he was jealous that Will had a cool older brother. You were always the coolest.”

”To nerdy twelve year old boys,” Jonathan self-deprecatingly notes with a smirk.

”Hey, I think you’re pretty cool too,” Nancy grins and gives him a peck on the cheek.

”Thanks, you too. I always thought you were cool.”

”Oh please, not just another suburban girl?” She smirks.

”Nope, that was me being dumb,” he smiles.

The silence returns for a few moments while he’s thinking, remembering. He presses a kiss to her hair and speaks up again.

”Do you know when I first realized I really um, liked you?”

Nancy pokes her head up, intrigued.

”No?”

”It was sixth grade I think, Halloween. When we took the boys trick or treating. The boys were all doing Star Wars as a group costume and Will talked me into being Obi-Wan. I was going to look after them anyway so. But I didn’t know you were coming too.”

”Mike begged me to be Princess Leia. Apparently it wouldn’t be a complete group costume without a Leia. I agreed because I liked to dress up. I think that’s how he managed to convince me to be an elf for DnD that time too.”

”I remember thinking you looked pretty even with the ridiculous Leia hair.”

”When I commit, I commit.”

”I know. And I love that. And the moment I realized I really really liked you was-”

”Ooh you really really liked me?” She interrupts with a grin.

”Shut up,” he chuckles and rolls his eyes.

”Like, like-liked me?” She continues, waggling her eyebrows at him.

”… yes, at that age I really really like, like-liked you,” he concedes. She snickers and gives him another kiss on the cheek. ”And the moment I realized it was when we were all leaving your house to go trick or treating and you took out a whole city map and folded it out on the ground and you had marked out in detail every block and street we needed to hit for the best candy, and in what order.”

”That was the moment?”

”Yeah. Because you looked really cute in your outfit and you were really smart, like, I don’t think anyone else ever would’ve thought like you. I still don’t. Whether it’s to score the best haul at trick or treating or to defeat a monster I… always loved your plans. And the haul was good.”

Nancy kisses him on the lips. He closes his eyes, relishing the feeling of her lips on his. When he opens his eyes she’s beaming, looking down at him.

”You are sweet. But did you know I kind of liked-liked you before that?”

”What? You did?”

This revelation surprises him. He knows his own feelings of course, knows what he had kind of liked Nancy for years before things started to really happen between them. But he has never considered that she would’ve felt anything for him really before that autumn they were thrown together in a life and death search for their loved ones.

”Fifth grade. When we actually took them to see Star Wars. Remember?”

”Yeah. I remember them having light saber battles the whole way home.”

”Me too,” Nancy giggles at the memory.

”And sitting with you next to the aisle because the boys wanted to sit closer to the center. I was nervous about that, sitting next to you.”

”I was excited to sit next to you instead of Mike,” Nancy grins. ”But don’t you remember what happened? With the popcorn?”

”The popcorn?”

”I dropped mine when someone bumped into me when we were finding our seats. And I was upset about it because mom had given me money to buy popcorn for me and Mike and a soda each and now I had wasted mine. But you immediately insisted I’d have yours instead. I had to convince you that you didn’t have to give me all but that we could maybe share, which we did.”

”Oh yeah, I remember. I felt bad. Losing popcorn would’ve upset me too so I wanted to make it right.”

”And you did. And I thought that was real nice of you, you didn’t have to do that but you wanted to do it. You were nice and kind because that’s who you were. Are, who you are. And then I accidentally grabbed your hand when I was reaching for popcorn and it was the first time I ever held hands with a boy. And I liked it. Even though we let go of each other in an instant like we’d been shocked,” Nancy dissolves into giggles at that last part. He laughs with her.

”It was the first time for me too. Holding hands, with a girl I mean. Do you know the second time?”

”No?”

”Also with you. In your bedroom, the morning after I pulled you from the tree. When your mom didn’t knock.”

The way she’s smiling down at him makes his heart do somersaults. She leans down and kisses him again, in the process taking both his hands in hers, holding them while letting them rest on his chest. Her thumb strokes his scar.

”I remember.”

#jancy fic #jancy fanfic #jancy fanfiction #st fic #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #jancy #nancy x jonathan #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #stranger things

[treasureboys]

boyfriend! hyunsuk

who?: yg treasure box’s choi hyunsuk genre: ☀️ type: bullet point

treasure map

bf! AU 

very soft, he’s a major squish try and change my mind bitch

a/n: hyunsuk has this soft-loud energy and I think that is truly precious

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners this is purely a work of fiction DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

~ *＊✿❀ how you met ❀✿＊*

you met hyunsuk through mutual friends

...sort of 

it was the night of your friend’s birthday party 

you had to come over earlier bc her sister was stressing over the cake 

she collected the wrong cake 

“happy birthday hyunsuk!” was beautifully written in red frosting over the strawberry shortcake 

nice 

“Jennie cannot!! find out about this!” Chaeyoung shrieked, smacking the cake box lid . “I’m calling the bakery right now. Make sure she doesn’t enter this kitchen!” 

luckily, Jennie was tucked away in her bedroom, getting ready for the big night 

you reentered the kitchen as chaeyoung hung up 

“what did they say?” you asked 

She only sighed

“they have our cake and they need the other one back. But we need to hurry because the other cake is scheduled to be collected in an hour.” 

a-an hour? 

the bakery was 45 minutes away from the house! 

“I’ll get the cake. Stay here and keep Jennie occupied. It won’t be suspicious when I arrive later,” you voiced out. 

so you grabbed the cake box, flagged a taxi and sped to the bakery 

I wonder who this Hyunsuk guy is though...

I feel kind of bad for taking his cake 

you had to hug the box super tightly lest it flew around the backseat and self-destructed 

sorry if I ruined your cake, Hyunsuk

you managed to rush into the bakery just slightly under an hour

as you expected there was a young man leaning over the counter to talk to the staff 

he seemed quite irritated and frustrated 

“what do you mean you can’t find the cake? I called two hours ago to confirm my collection,” he hissed, completely exasperated

hyunsuk? 

quietly, you turned the cake over to another staff member

“We’re sorry sir, there seems to be a mix-up-oh! Excuse me for a minute.” 

the staff disappeared behind double doors 

“H-hey, you must be here for...hyunsuk.” 

damn b u gon shoot ur shot here 

the boy’s eyes widen but he nods 

“Yeah, do you know what happened to my cake?” 

so you fill him in

his reactions are to die for

“omg sis they did that? wtf spill more tea, pop off!”

he reminds me of a tea aunt lowkey

“My name’s Yedam, by the way.” 

eventually, the staff came back with the correct cakes 

“hey, you should come to the party tonight if you could,” yedam says warmly. “I’m sure Hyunsuk would like you.” 

“maybe,” your reply is short and uncertain 

but you leave with Yedam’s number and the address in your phone 

Jennie’s bday party is a success :D

no one mentioned the whole cake situation

Jisoo and Lisa encourage you to hit Hyunsuk’s party up 

“It really isn’t that far away! Just two bus stops! C’mon, I think it’ll be cool!” Jisoo cried out, beaming. 

at first, you opposed the idea but a 1am Uber ride with the girls changed your mind 

Hyunsuk’s party was still pretty happening 

*knock knock* 

“___! So glad you could make it!” Yedam smiled broadly. “I’ll take you to meet Hyunsuk!” 

You could barely hear him over the noise. “Wonderful!”

Giggling, Yedam whisked you through the crowd and into what seemed like a living room 

“Say hello to the birthday boy!” 

With golden curls and a smile that reached his eyes, Hyunsuk was the definition of charming.

He grinned and waved calmly 

Starstruck, you could only return the wave, a hot blush sweeping across your face 

You ended up sitting next to him on the sofa after Yedam insisted Byounggon move one seat down

“Hi, I’m Choi Hyunsuk.” 

*＊✿❀ kisses ❀✿＊*

wow kissing,,, something I have 0 experience in 

anyway! Hyunsuk’s kind of a goofy, cheerful, laid back ? guy 

so kissing is a normal thing 

probably gives more ‘fleeting’ and ‘quick’ pecks to leave you wanting more

dramatic about them 

“that’s enough for today!” 

he would 100% still be shy internally 

enough to keep you happy but too little to stop you from missing them 

would totally give you a cheesy goodnight kiss ugh his mind 

first kiss? Kind of spontaneous 

It was a chill day, he invited you over to hang out after school or whatever 

Just a day to relax and be with each other 

And someone decided it would be fun to use an app that randomised cute couple activities to do 

you didn’t think much of it since it was just for fun and games 

but things were starting to get intense in staring contest pt.2

you didn’t mind looking into his sparkling orbs 

brain: press his buttons 

you: send a playful wink his way ;) 

hyunsuk pressed his lips together before moving his face closer to yours 

“c-can I kiss you?” he stammered out, the nerves getting the better of him 

you were sTUNNED

LITERALLY SPEECHLESS 

IT WAS SO IMPROMPTU AND UNEXPECTED

so all you could do was close the remaining space by placing your lips on his 

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

UWU BITCH

AHHHDJSJSJDDB

quite a cute first kiss i must say :)) 

hyunsuk wouldn’t shy away from pda 

would still blush a lot 

he would even make out with you but only if you were comfortable 

And if he felt particularly brave that day 

really! likes! to! kiss! your! nose! 

and boop it 

wow why did this occur to me where am i getting this from 

He could also be big on putting his arm around your shoulders 

just a thought ;) 

*＊✿❀ dates *＊✿❀

dates with him are probably laid back too 

he’ll probably be down with anything you’re down to do to 

but he would like to introduce you to his world too 

maybe you’d take a dance class together 

or just chill in the studio 

or listen and work on verses 

boy would write rap verses for you 

Idk he strikes me as a person who would enjoy your company regardless if you’re there to do anything 

Once in a while, when he gets out from yg basement you guys would go on full-day dates 

just the whole day together 

you and him 

picnic! dates 

and 11/10 he would forget something, like a picnic mat or cutlery 

even if things don’t go as planned, he would be innovative and find alternatives 

or just act like he meant to do that lol 

would get a little sulky once dates had to end 

“but I don’t wanna goooo. :(“ 

texts a! lot!

Likes to send u memes 

ur like his bff 

facetimes until 5am if he gets the chance to 

chuckles and talks a lot 

LoUD 

can get pretty deep and serious 

He wants to be real and transparent with you 

gets more and more comfortable with you all the time 

:”) 

first date? he suggested going to a night market and stuffing your faces 

I’m gg to say you guys were close friends even before starting to date 

well, it rained that night 

he got flustered and upset at first 

but that never dampened your spirits! 

let you use his jacket as an umbrella 

did the boyfriend thing with that

still bought street food 

still ate street food 

still fed you street food 

bonus! yall sought shelter in a covered noodle stand and ended having a second dinner waiting for the rain to stop 

which meant more time spent together!! 

in fact, you didn’t even realise when the rain stopped 

but y’all bought celebratory ice cream right after 

he walked you back home and you waited until his taxi came before heading inside 

you even gave him a goodnight kiss on the cheek 

and his ears got all red and he became bashful 

“g-good...night!”

asked the taxi driver to blast the AC because he could not! stop blushing lmao 

acted all smug abt it later 

“so,,, about that kiss...”( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hyunsuk’s a whole squish and softie 

also a full-course meal when he wants to be 

a hella wholesome boyfriend 

#yg treasure box #yg treasure box scenarios #ygtb scenarios #choi hyunsuk

[smartcookie727]

Burn

What’s up, peeps? Testing the waters with some new fandom material as a bday gift for my wonderful friend, Vicci @supernovaecastaway. She singlehandedly got me to watch Voltron, and I fell absolutely in love with the story and all of the characters. Stretching the fingers here with some one-sided jeith. This is based off her fic, which drove the final nail in the coffin and tossed me head first into a new fandom. Imma say it up front and loud: this is NSFW as hell. We’re talking cracking into the Top 5 smuttiest fics I’ve written...and if you know me, you know that carries some weight. So, have some sheith-y/jeith-y OT3 smutty goodness. I had such a blast writing this. There will absolutely be more Voltron fics on the horizon. I hope yall enjoy. As always, leave me a comment, reblog, tag, whatever you want to interact so I know what yall like. Be sure to check out my writing blog @luminescent-words for all fics, WIPs, and everything literary!

Pairing: Jeiro, one-sided jeith, sheith

Prompt: birthday voltron fic! one-sided jeith angst/smut for the vicci

Length: 2.4k

The rule is simple: James can look, but he can’t touch. It’s his fourth time back in Keith and Shiro’s room, playing a dangerous game of of heated glances. But tonight, the stakes have been raised. One touch. The chance is an awful challenge. If he does this right, he’ll get something he’s always longed to have, if not, he doesn’t know if he’ll get an opportunity like this again.

Burn

God, what a beautiful moan. The sound of Keith’s voice hitching when he was close to bliss, spread thin between gasps, was a privilege to hear. And James knew it.

He also knew the sound was not his to claim. But that knowledge didn't stop it from drowning out every other thought on nights he fought to fall asleep in a cold bed. It was so strangely familiar to him now. James had every muscle memorized, every soft strand of hair that cascaded onto dark sheets, even the way Keith’s eyelids seemed to flutter before he would call out Shiro’s name and fall over the edge of his ecstasy. Sometimes, James couldn’t believe he was so lucky, so cursed, to know the things he did. It was easier when it had been just a fantasy, a pretty dream in his head. Knowing how good the truth could be battered his heart, because he knew it all belonged to another man.

It was James’ fourth time back to their room after his initial invitation, but tonight, he felt as nervous as he’d been when he’d stepped through that large gray door for the very first time.

One touch, Griffin. Make it count. Good work out there.

Shiro’s words echoed in his mind, and his thoughts raced back to the wink Keith had tossed him as the red tinged shirt of his uniform fell to the floor. Chills raced down his spine. He would wait for the right moment. All he wanted was a kiss. To feel lips and breath as Keith keened with pleasure into him. Anything more would be too much. James didn’t think he’d be able to tear himself from their room again if he allowed himself more than a press of lips. Order had to be maintained.

“Shiro,” came a shaky voice. Then Keith’s beautiful moan pierced the room.

No. It was too soon. He was missing his chance. James stayed his hand against his skin and tried to rise. How the hell had he been so distracted?

Another moan came in response. James’ eyes flicked up from Keith’s face just in time to watch Shiro crouch over that gorgeously toned back in his own release. He froze—heart falling straight to his stomach—and settled back into the plush seat.

Too slow, Cadet. His chance was gone.

James’ heart beat painfully in his chest. He fought to slow his breathing, but his body was tense with unfulfilled need. Everything began to go soft. James groaned. All he could do now was clean up. Looking around for a tissue, he caught a glance of the two of them pressed together in a lazy kiss. Something dark deep inside him told James he must actually like pain. It would always end the same, but that wouldn't stop him from enjoying the ride to inevitable heartbreak. He sighed, resting his head between his hands, crestfallen.

Footsteps padded around the room. James didn’t bother to pay attention, instead he let out an exasperated huff and began to adjust his disheveled clothes. Always one step behind Keith.

A strong tug on his bangs forced him to look up at the ceiling. Eyes like a thunderstorm met his own burning gaze.

“Ow,” James yelped, staring daggers into the man. Usually, he wasn’t so irritable at the end of a night like this, but he didn’t even have the energy to fake pleasantries now.  

“Waited too long, sir,” Shiro chided, leaning down close enough for James to see the beads of sweat that dripped down his temple. “So, what do we do now that you've missed your chance to touch?” He drew the word out slowly, an agonizing reminder of everything he’d almost had.

“We talked about it.” There was no mistaking the low gravel and stardust timbre of Keith’s voice. James instinctively twitched and tried to face him, but Shiro’s floating hand held him firmly in place.

“Shame you waited too long to finish, but we don’t want to leave you hanging.” A crooked smirk spread across Shiro’s face. James struggled briefly under his iron grip, earning himself another sharp tug and a craned neck. He quieted reluctantly. There was no will as powerful as that of the man above him—and James knew it. “Remind me what the normal rule is,” Shiro continued, the usual steel in his voice tinged with mirth.

“You can look, but you can’t touch,” James said through ground teeth.

Shiro’s free hand grasped James’ wrists and pinned them behind his chair. “So, as a consolation, this time you get to be touched, but you can’t look.”

His heart skipped a beat. He felt hands work his underwear back down to his ankles. Keith. James’ mind raced as nimble fingers drummed against the inside of his thigh. This couldn’t be real. It would break the only rule they’d set. The one thing he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do.

“Do you accept?” Keith asked gently. The question laid him bare. If James wanted to leave, this was his out.

“Yes.” The words left his lips before his brain could catch up. Even if it only ended in pain, it would be a wonderful way to burn.

Keith ran his hand from where it tapped playfully on James’ leg up to his chest, popping pesky buttons until his shirt hung loosely around his body. His hips bucked reflexively, and he strained to break free of Shiro’s hold. A soft chuckle filled the air, then the grip on his wrists tightened uncomfortably. Warm breath tickled his ear.

“I thought you liked rules,” Keith purred, flicking one of his nipples. His touch drew out a moan so dirty James couldn’t believe it came from his own voice. But he dared not move his head in response. He understood enough to know that Shiro would only crane his neck further back if he did—or worse, he’d stop the game entirely. James’ chest heaved as bare skin brushed his own.

“Any suggestions, Shiro?” Keith’s voice was dripping with anticipation.

“Have fun, baby. He’s been good.”  

A chill ran up James’ spine. What had he just agreed to?

Keith dragged a finger down to his belly button. James shuddered, biting back a whine, and squeezed his eyes shut. Better to remove the temptation to look than to stare into those unyielding eyes, watching his every move as Keith tore him to pieces.

Nails grazing against his stomach pulled James’ attention back to Keith. He pressed a kiss into his chest. It sent shivers racing across his skin. One hand ghosted over his cock while the other held his hip in place, teasing circles with his thumb.

“Do you want me, James?” Keith breathed. His body rolled in response, little moans escaping his lips. He was a whimpering puddle of need beneath Keith, begging to be touched.

“Yes.”

“Good,” he crooned, running his tongue from James’ jaw down to his collarbone. “Looks like you were having a bit of a problem before. Shall I fix it?” He palmed at James’ arousal, already growing hard under his touch. A high pitched whine answered for him, and that was all he needed to hear.

Keith traced his thumb up the vein in his cock, circling his head slowly. James slammed back into the chair. It was too much and not enough all at once, and it felt so good. His hips bucked up, yearning for more friction, but Keith held him firmly in place. A loud, hungry groan escaped his grasp when he finally took him in his hand and began to pump. James bit down on his cheek until it nearly bled to keep from screaming. Keith knew exactly what to do to with every inch of him. His lips made their way to James’ chest, nipping at the sensitive skin and rolling his hardened tip between his teeth. Moans poured out of him in waves as James took it all in, racing towards his climax.

There was a low chuckle, then the pace against his cock grew faster, harder. James felt his own wetness begin to spill onto Keith’s hand and coat his length. His neck lolled to the side, any inhibitions he’d had earlier gone. Shiro’s prosthetic was the only thing keeping his head up, but he didn’t care what the man thought of him right now. All James could think about was the way Keith was pressing his body against him, sliding his arousal up and down his leg. His toes curled so hard he thought they might cramp when Keith suddenly pulled away.  

“No,” he groaned, “go back. Please, go back.”

“Patience, James, we’re just getting started,” Keith crooned before tugging on his earlobe with his teeth.

“I want—” he sputtered, keening with every red hot touch.

“Good, James,” came a low rumble, “Tell Keith how good he is with his hands, how good it makes you feel.”

The words tumbled freely from his lips. “Oh, Keith, the way you—” His voice faltered as he shifted from pumping to drawing circles around the tip of his cock. “That you touch me—is the most—that I’ve ever—” James was trembling, so close to the edge. “You know just how—I’m so—” He gave up trying to speak. There wasn’t enough blood left in his head to form a word with more than one syllable.

Warm skin pressed into his lap; James nearly choked on his own breath. Keith had him pinned beneath strong hips. It was the exactly what he’d longed for in every heated daydream hidden beneath a cold shower. Except this was real and it was Keith. His hands skittered across James’ body, tweaking any sensitive spot he could find. He rocked their lengths together so hard that James could see stars.

There was a sharp pinch at his nipples and James bucked up so violently that Shiro had to pull his wrists back to keep him seated. Keith let his full weight press down onto him, pumping his cock with long, agonizing strokes. Sloppy kisses littered James’ chest, and a burning desire in his gut threatened to consume him. He felt teeth pull his lower lip down, shredding his last ounce of self control.

The lips pulled away as James began to ride out his release, spilling furiously into Keith’s lap. His moans filled the space between them all as he slowly came down from his high.

Keith stood. Cold danced across James’ skin at the sudden loss of contact and he whined, begging for more. He felt rough hands, Keith’s hands, plant themselves firmly on his shoulders. Opening his eyes just a crack, he caught a glimpse of onyx hair above him and lips pressed together in a fervid kiss.

“I might've gotten things a little dirty,” Keith sighed breathlessly, running his tongue along the bottom edge of his teeth.

Shiro’s words were like cool steel, and he dug his fingers further into James’ hair. “Then clean it up.”

“Yes, sir.”

Strong hands spread James’ knees as Keith kissed a line from his neck down to his navel.

“Yes, sir,” James breathed.

Keith chuckled deep in his chest. “Impatient aren’t you, Griffin. Didn’t the Garrison teach you anything about control?”

He didn’t have a chance to respond before Keith’s lips encapsulated him in warm, wet splendor.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his head bobbing with every twist of Keith’s tongue. “Fuck.”

He was getting so very hard again. Keith painstakingly lapped up every trace of his release. Electricity coursed through his veins.

“Fuck.”

So this is what it felt like to play with fire and burn to ash.

“Fuck,” he wailed over and over, the word searing through his body like a wildfire.

“You look so beautiful with your mouth full of cock, baby,” Shiro crooned.

It was a helpless mixture of pleasure and pain to feel but not see. James knew just how beautiful Keith could look with his lips around a cock, and his body longed to know what he’d look like with his mouth filled with his. Keith gave James a hard squeeze in response, nearly sending him flying over the edge.

“Fuck,” he screamed between gasps.

Keith released him with a long swipe of his tongue and stood.

“Sounds like he’s ordering us to fuck, doesn’t it, Shiro?” he purred.

“I think so.”

Dazed from Keith’s touch, all James could do was mumble ‘fuck’ again and again as he slowly blinked his eyes into focus. Keith and Shiro were locked together above him in a tangle of lips and teeth. Shiro bared down on him, pressing Keith’s chest into James’ face. James didn’t care. He wanted to soak up every second of this bliss. Jumping at the opportunity, he nipped at any part of Keith’s skin he could for as long as he could.

They broke their embrace with a sigh and fumbled towards the bed. James tried to turn his head but the floating arm still held him in place. Only when he heard the telltale rustle of skin against sheets did Shiro let him go. He groaned at the soreness in his neck, lifting it slowly before settling his chin in his palm.

Had that really just happened? James looked up. Keith was leaning over Shiro, pressing his back into the bed with a powerful kiss. He watched the large prosthetic hand squeeze his ass. A neon sign that said ‘mine’ would’ve been more subtle.

“Have your fun, too?” Keith asked, dark eyes meet his own in a tantalizing stare, daring him to stay.

James nodded between heavy breaths. What was he even still doing here? He was a pawn in a dangerous game, and all he could win was heartbreak. Still, something deep inside him kept his feet rooted in place.

“You can go if that was a bit too much for you,” Keith mused, a hungry smile on his lips, “but I’m ready to really fuck, sir.”

James was sure of it now. He didn’t care how much the rational part of his brain screamed at him to leave; he’d do anything for another moment to bask in the burning star that was Keith.

“Bite him.”

Bite me.

“With pleasure.”

#Voltron #jeiro #jeith #sheith #one sided jeith #keith kogane #james griffin #takashi shirogane #cookie writes #voltron fics #cookie queen of smut #HAPPPY BIRTHDAY VICCI #idk how this fic happened but it did #dives into voltron fandom with smut in true cookie fashion lmao #it was so fun to write tho #literally the banter had me giddy the whole way through drafting #but yall how do u do the pronouns and make sure everyone know whats happenning #that was certainly a bit of a challenge #the pining OH THE PINING #james is gonna suffer but hes gonna be happy about it #cause that one sided jeith angst is where its at #tho i rlly wanna write some more traditional romantic shieth #cause established couple stuff is my shit but this pining stuff is goooooood #seriously nervous about this one #new fandoms and new couples always make me nervous #lmao what a trip trying to keep track of 3 ppl tho #also expect a lot of shieth coming at ya on the blog from now on #what yall thinkkkk

[punchmedanny]

This is really stupid and a waste of your time, but I really needed to write this and get it off my chest. To set the scene, I'm going into my freshman year of high school. In 8th grade, I was part of a group of about 8 friends (half guys, half gals). For the purposes of this story, you need to know that K, C, W, and I are female, and L is male. K and L dated for a while till the end of 8th grade. K, C, W, and I created a smaller, closer group called KCWC (later renamed KCEC) and we are (1/19)

all super close. However, K and C are best friends, and W and I are best friends. I met W in 6th grade, but we didn't become friends until 7th grade, but we got super close. Shortly after we became friends, I (at least I think it was me, I don't really remember that well) said that we were Wifeys (hence her being called W). Ever since, we have called eachother Wifey almost every time we see eachother. Last year, in like November, she told me that she's bi. At the time, I didn't really(2/19)

know what that was, so I was kind of like "whatever". Anyway, I learned a lot about it because of her, and it opened my mind to the fact that I don't have to be either gay or straight. In Febuary, I realized that I had a crush on a girl at my school. I shortly discovered that I'm either bi or pan. W was the first person I told for a while. (K recently discovered that she's pan, but that's another story) I've never dated anyone, but W dated a few girls and guys during 8th grade. W is (3/19)

naturally a touchy/physical person, but I'm very reserved and don't like any unsolicited touching. W is the one person who I like to, even feel comfort when I, hold hands (fingers entwined), hug for a long time, and cuddle with her. Every day before, during, and after lunch, we had a routine that involved us waiting for eachother, having our arms around eachother, holding hands a lot, touching eachother a lot, and just a lot of being together. Also, before school, C and I had a routine (4/19)

where we would go to class, put our books down, then go meet W at her locker, and after school our whole friend group would meet and W and I would hug more. (We didn't have any classes together so I could only see her then) Every day, I got more comfortable around her, and we started calling eachother late into the night (I don't have and iPhone, so I couldn't facetime) and she is the only person I actually called. We shared secrets and promises, and we talked and laughed for hours. (5/19)

secrets, and promises, and we talked and laughed for hours. The KCWC group was all in honors chorus, so. naturally, when we went on an overnight field trip to Hershey Park for a competition, we all roomed together. K and C sat together on the coach bus and W made me promise that I would sit with her on the bus. So I did, and all 4 of us had fun (since we were sitting across from eachother) the whole trip. In the hotel room, W and I shared a bed and C and K shared a bed. We were holding (6/20)

hands in bed and K and C said they act like roommates and W and I act like an old married couple (because we were playfully bickering among other stuff) After our completion that night, we had to watch the band complete, so, ofc, W and I sat next to eachother, and since we were tired, leaned out heads on eachother the whole time (not at all unusual for us though). That night in the hotel was the best night I've ever had. We stayed up wayyy too late playing truth or truth, a game like (7/20)

apples to apples, throwing pillows at eachother (and a lamp), impersonations, and generally just having fun. Before going to sleep W told me that she had a history of cuddling/randomly draping her limbs over people when she sleeps. Also, C was warm, so she turned up the AC. I'm almost always cold, so I woke up in the middle of the night because I was cold onl to find that W and I were spooning (I was the little spoon). (Before I fell asleep, I noticed that she was facing me and I (8/20)

purposely turned away rather than in so we could ~maybe~ cuddle (clue one)) In an effort to make myself warmer, I cuddled closer to her. Early in the morning, K and C tried to wake W and me up many times, but we kept going back to sleep, still cuddling. Also, the night before, K and C bet that they'd wake up and see W and me cuddling in the morning (a lot of people either ship W and me together or think we're dating) Also, I'm pretty sure that later, W said that she kept cuddling with me (9/20)

on purpose. (Keep in mind that she's the only person that I've ever cuddled or held hands with) The next day we actually went to Hershey Park, where I got W and C to finally like roller coasters. We (KCWC) all made lots of inside jokes and that day was so fun. We group- hopped eventually, and we ended up in a larger group. We were walking around the park, so W and I were holding hands (it's a big habit), K and L were holding hands (at the time they were still dating), three girls were (10/20)

all platonically holding hands with eachother, and C was skipping alone by herself (she was fine). We walked past Ms. A, my chorus teacher, who is usually the absolute best and we all love, started lecturing us on how we can't hold hands because it's "PDA" and we're not in high school yet. She also looked directly at W and me when she said that she doesn't care if it's a guy and a girl, a guy and a guy or a girl and a girl. We were all shocked because it was so uncharacteristic of Ms. A(11/20)

but we let go and muttered an "ok" before walking away. W and I still held hands walking around after that, but I was wary. On the long bus ride back to the school from Hershey right after we left the park, W was acting high and drunk at the same time, but I know for a fact she wasn't either, so I was very worried about her, so she went to the back to get some medicine from Ms. A and didn't come back till the very end, and she still was way off her game, which made me very worried and sad(12/20)

Shortly before school ended, another girl, R (who all of KCWC now dislike), tried to force things with W, and became obsessed with shoving the fact that she was holding hands with (among other stuff) W and they were now "hubbys". W seemed to feel the same way, so I got veryyy jealous because I thought that I was the only one who was uncomfortable with R around. She started to push me out and I grew more distant because I felt isolated (I have very low self esteem, especiallyyyyy about my (13/20)

social skills) and I began to worry that they all actually hated me because they thought I was as annoying as I thought R was. (I know now that's not true, after the reassurance and actions of my friends, but it was a very possible and major thing in my mind then). I had just begun to feel comfortable and happy when R started messing things up and "stealing" W. The KCWC group finally had a sleepover a few weeks before school ended (this was the first time W and I had hung out outside of (14/20)

school besides friends' bday parties because all our plans fell through), and we stayed up late ranting, throwing empty soda bottles, watching movies, playing games, etc. but we also talked about R. I can't express how relieved I felt that W felt as uncomfortable with R as I did. After that, things slowly went back to normal, though R still tried to butt in time-to-time. My friend group likes to go hang out at a local beach since a couple of us can even walk, but I was too anxious, (15/20)

awkward, and introverted to go before this year. It's kind of a tradition that on the day after school ends, a ton of people from our school go there to hang out with friends. Unfortunately, that was the last day before W moved to Texas (I live on the east coast), and she had to leave early. I still go tp the beach with the others in the friend group, but I feel much more anxious and I'm always a third, fourth, or even fifth wheel, which I never was when W was around. We still text a lot(16/20)

saying we love and miss eachother. I can't even think of her without smiling. A few days ago I opened my yearbook (in which she wrote multiple paragraphs in), played a song that reminds me of her, and wrote down a list of what I love about her before I had to stop since I was crying too hard. We also facetime rarely, since our schedules don't match up. I miss her so much and I was really counting on being able to go to high school with her. My other best friend is in another friend group (17/20)

in which I'm not comfortable with at all. I finally felt fully happy, comfortable, and not anxious when around my friends, but then she moved and it all came crashing down. Now I'm in fear (as always) that my other friends will finally realize that I'm not good enough to be their friend or worthy of their time and they'll dump me as soon as they find someone better. K and C often hang out without me and don't even think about inviting me. I'm worried I won't have any friends in high (18/20)

in which I'm not comfortable with at all. I finally felt fully happy, comfortable, and not anxious when around my friends, but then she moved and it all came crashing down. Now I'm in fear (as always) that my other friends will finally realize that I'm not good enough to be their friend or worthy of their time and they'll dump me as soon as they find someone better. K and C often hang out without me and don't even think about inviting me. I'm worried I won't have any friends in high (18/20)

school. In my friend group, I'm the fattest and the rest of KCWC are very skinny/fit. I'm extremely self-conscious about this fact and W was the one person who I felt genuinely liked me despite all my quirks and I didn't feel insecure around her.  I have a history of not understanding my feelings (or not even realizing that they're there) and W is no different. Last week when we were at the beach, K privately asked if I had lied when W and I both answered no to the "have you ever liked (19/20)

eachother" question. I immediately said no, then K said that W had told her that W lied (she used to like me) but she didn't like me anymore. Since then, I've realized and come to terms with the fact that I've liked her for months, and I still really like her. (I'm not sure like is the right word, but I can't decide what it would be otherwise) I just realized that I've been very jealous of all of her boyfriends and girlfriends and I've been very protective of her. I honestly have no idea(20/21)

[END QUESTION]

Okay, to begin with, thank you anon for being patient with me as it’s taken me several days for me to be in the right headspace to answer this!

So, starting high school is such a hard time in everyone’s life. Like, literally everyone. No matter how popular or pretty or talented or whatever they are. From a biological perspective, people’s body’s don’t make as much serotonin (aka the happy chemical) at that age as they do when people are older, so that doesn’t help anyone. I’m so sorry W moved - it sounds like you two were such cute and fun pair. It’s so nice you’ve been able to keep in touch as much as you’ve been able to and, who knows, you both might really appreciate being able to have a trustworthy outside perspective for things in your life as the school year starts.

For me personally, I made entirely new friends from 8th grade to high school. People tend to change quite a bit around then just because it’s a whole new chapter of your life and hs tends to bring a whole lot of different opportunities and challenges than what comes before it. So, while it’s so, so hard having turbulence with your friend group, that’s very normal and has nothing to do with you specifically. The fact that W left definitely changed the dynamic, but there’s a good chance it would’ve changed anyway… maybe just not as soon.

It’s good to go into high school with friends, but don’t feel obligated to stay as close to them as you were just because they’re who you already know. My hs had a lot more clubs and activities than jr high/middle school, so I’m guessing yours does, too. I was in theatre and art club then later speech and debate and that’s where I made all my friends, many of which were people I’d never even talked to before.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say hs is “the best time of your life” and I seriously question the lives of the people saying that. I’m not going to lie - I personally hated everything about hs except theatre and speech & debate and the awesome friends I made there. And like, not to be boring, but like study and stuff. Seriously, working hard on something that can help future you and give you a sense of accomplishment will probably help you feel better about yourself and is one of the few things you can control when relationships are in flux.

So, (in summary) I’d say don’t feel like any of what’s happening is your fault - it’s extremely normal for the time of your life in. Maintain the friendships you have now, but also get involved in something that interests you and meet new people who like the same thing. I hope this helps a bit

And btw, not a waste of my time in the slightest

My asks are always open if you (or anyone else) wants to talk

[darkblueocean]

timeline

:)

may 19th

-workout party

-played catch

-beer pong

-flip cup

-fought outside

-she ss the snapchat with me in it bc she thought i was cute

june 2nd

-saturday morning workout

-we were partners ( she was more focused on me than on the workout)

-braided my hair in starbucks afterwards

june 8th

-held my hand during the movie (Ocean's 8)

-followed me from Melia's room to Arissa's bc i couldn't sleep

-under the dino blanket she stuck her tongue out and i touched mine to hers

-she grabbed my face and kissed me on the lips 3 times in a row

-i kept trying to kiss her, this is were "nope" "yep" & "please" started bc she kept saying nope and turning her face away from mine until i said please

-both of us were too afraid to kiss the other goodbye

june 13th

-she came over for our first sleepover here

-we kissed a lot

-we went swimming in the pool here, we found out later that someone had pooped in it

-i held her all night and we both had an amazing sleep

june 20th

-we picked her up from bailey's house because linda was late

-we hung out here and kissed and talked a lot

-we went to macaroni grill with cayman and jacob, but only i ate

-we held hands under the table for a while

-we saw incredibles 2 and i had my arm around her for most of it

-i kissed the top of her head a lot during the movie

-she slept over again and i held her all night

-she woke me up by playing with my chin, but she doesn't remember doing it

-i later found out that she was gonna wake me up with a kiss but she got too nervous

-we kissed a lot before linda came

-we had our first goodbye kiss downstairs because no one was home

june 25th

-day before we left for europe

-came over to hangout before we left for 3 weeks

-lots of kisses and holding each other

-she stayed here when i went with cayman to get chipotle

-she thought my mom and dad were mad at her because her dad was really late coming to get her

-i fell asleep well she was holding me

-kissed her goodbye again

-later found out that she was gonna ask me out that night but she didn't want anything to wreck the night

july 18th

-we saw Jurassic World 2

-we barely watched because we were kissing a lot

-i was holding her during the movie

-i fell asleep when she was holding me

-we went to petco and pet cats, named turtles, and looked at fish and lizards

-we were gonna go to chuck e. cheese but we took one step inside and we left

-we went to ihop and tried the burger which was ok

-we went to the target attached to topanga mall

-we walked around the mall and around the village

-drove her home but we "went around the block" so we could spend more time together

-we kissed in the car

july 19th

-i visited her at work

-brandi wouldn't leave the front so stevi told me to go to the bathroom

-she met me in there and we talked for a few mins and i hugged her, which turned into me kissing her

-i said "hey, will you go out with me?" before i could even finish she said yes

-we kissed some more but then she had to go

-i left while she was busy ringing someone up so she just smiled and waved at me

july 22nd

-we saw Hotel Transylvania 3, which was so bad it was funny

-she kissed me first in the movie theater, even though we sat all the way at the front

-i smiled for most of the movie bc i was so happy to be with her

-we went to jamba juice after and she spilled her smoothie on herself

-we went to the park afterwards but we couldn't go on the swings bc there were too many little kids

-i drove her home and we "went around the block" so we could kiss more

-in the car she said “hey, will you go out with me?” i obviously said yes

august 4th

-workout

-hugged each other when i first got there

-we were partners the whole time

-lots of smiles and laughs

-we both wanted to kiss each other but we couldn’t

-workout party

-didn’t really talk a lot at the beginning bc my twins were being weird

-i sprayed her with a lil bottle of water and we had a lil water fight

-she hugged me when she was soaking wet

-we were partners for the game outside

-gave her a shower in the front yard, when she was rinsing off in the shower i wanted to kiss her

-put my head in her lap after zoey screamed, she kept grabbing my cheeks and her eyes were very dilated and we were holding hands super lowkey

-she sat in my lap outside and i lowkey held her, i kissed the side of her head and we both said i love you, i told her i wanted to grab her face

-she was playing jenga so i sat next to her and i put my hand on her leg and she told me after she wanted to hold it but she couldn’t

-she told funcle she wanted to show him the pants she ripped when she sprained her ankle so i went with her to get them and right before she could leave i said hey and then i grabbed her face and we kissed a little bit in their room

-she said we should go take a streak picture so i followed her to the bathroom and she closed the door behind us

-i grabbed her face and kissed her and after a minute we took a picture, she kept kissing me after and while kissing her i pulled her waist towards me and then she did the same thing to me, it felt really good

-i sorta held her on alyssa’s bed while we were watching the greatest showman but then we had to leave

-i hugged her goodbye, but no kiss this time

august 17th/18th

-came over for a sleepover

-we watched friends for a while and kissed downstairs

-came upstairs to take a nap but we ended up just kissing and talking the whole time

-we went to chipotle to pick up dinner, we came home and ate it

-she played some tyler the creator for me in the car, and she was scared i wouldn’t like it but i did and she looked really happy and cute singing along

-we came home and after dinner we had some shots

-we got super drunk and we were kissing a lot, shirts came off but everything else stayed on

-i went on top of her and she really liked it, we both got some hickeys

-i finally had the courage to say “stevi justice, im in love with you” she said the same back and that she had wanted to tell me for a long time but she was scared i didn’t feel the same way

-while we were kissing we grabbed each others butts and apparently i kept asking her if everything we did was ok bc i didnt want to make her uncomfortable

-we talked about spending the rest of our lives together, we took some pictures but only a few turned out ok

-she drank too much so we sat on the bathroom floor and i held her and her hair back while she threw up

-we fell asleep there until i woke up in the middle of the night and told her to go to my bed, she could barely stand so i was helping her up and she laid down on the bed facedown but when i went next to her she moved so i could hold her

-in the morning i woke up before her and she looked so perfect as she slept, i kissed her lips and she kissed me back then she opened her eyes, smiled at me and closed her eyes again

-we just talked about the night before and then we went downstairs and watched friends and i held her as she took a nap

-we kissed goodbye and then she left with linda

august 24th/25th

-my twins house for a sleepover

-slept together on the air mattress

-kissed in the bathroom once everyone went to sleep

-she told me about the mall and friendsgiving

-tried to go to the bathroom at starbies after workout so we could kiss but the line was too long

-we both told our twins on the 25th

september 1st

-stevi’s bday

-saw each other at workout

-hit her water bottle out of her hand so i could hold it

-threw water at her after coffee bean

-came back to hangout at 1:30, had to keep her out of the house so they could set up for the party

-saw a ww2 movie but we were kissing the whole time

-she held me so i fell asleep on her

-we went to jamba juice after and hung out

-drove around her neighborhood until we found a safe place to park, we sat in the car talking and kissing for 20 mins

-brought her home by 6 and went to the backyard for her surprise party

-we managed to sneak off a few times to kiss

-my twins were being kinda weird so emily and alyssa invited me to spend the night there

-stevi and i slept on the futon together and i held her all night

september 2nd/3rd

-we met up in the arcade at santa monica pier

-i met jennifer (stevi told me after that she was very excited to meet me and kept asking where i was)

-we drove stevi back home with us and we held hands in the car

-her and rimp talked a lot and they all were making fun of me for liking country roads

-once we got home we all stayed down stairs and were chatting for a while

-kissed stevi a lot once we got upstairs

-she laughed for like 10mins straight which was super cute, she looked really happy

-i couldn’t stop smiling when i was looking at her

-i got to hold her all night

-woke up with kisses in the morning

-we brushed our teeth together then came back to bed so we could kiss and listen to music

-rimp called us downstairs to help make the food for the beach but i took like 5 mins bc i didn’t wanna stop kissing her

-it felt comfortable having her around mom and dad, you could tell they both like her

-we shared a bagel and i learned that she likes yellow gatorade

-we came upstairs to get ready and i just wanted to kiss her more so we did that for awhile

-we held hands on the way to the beach

-we played catch with the football then we swam for a long time and we kissed in the water

-dried off, ate a little bit and then we played beach volleyball on the same team

-she kept missing the ball and was dying laughing every time, it was so cute

-we played the license plate game for a long time too (punch each other when you see an out of state plate)

-we held hands in the car on the way back to stevi’s house

i’m ending the timeline because i remember every moment that i have with her so i don’t see the point of writing them down anymore. this would get really long anyways, because forever is a really fucking long time.

[askjennie]

Hey! Im 21. My birthday is on Halloween and I love it. But one of my friends makes me dread it. All I want to do is go out for dinner and hang out there. My other friends are fine with that. But she is like planning my whole bday. Saying that everyone should come to my house and eat food and play games and watch movies. Also saying I should invite someone that I don't even talk to anymore unless I see them out somewhere. (Part 1)

Continued: So she wants to do all that the weekend before my actual bday and then go out for dinner on my actual bday like I want to. I know it sounds dumb cuz most people would love a night with friends and stuff. But social things tire me out. I don’t like people at my house. I love being alone and my house is a place for that. Once people come over I don’t feel comfortable anymore.. (Part 2)I have social anxiety which could be part of it. It doesn’t feel like my bday anymore when someone else plans things for me that I don’t even like. I can’t tell her how i feel about it cuz she’s so excited and I have major confrontation problems. Any time I tell people no i cant stop thinking about it. Even if they say it’s ok I just keep thinking that they are starting to hate me. Then i feel terrible and I think about it for days. Sorry for rambling. I just don’t know what to do (Part 3)

Jennie: It’s your birthday, and you get to decide what to do with it. It’s that simple. It might be difficult to be assertive about it, but this is one of the few occassions where you absolutely have a right to insist on having your own way! 

Wanting to go for dinner for your birthday doesn’t sound dumb at all. You’re the one projecting those negative thoughts onto the idea, when it’s actually a very normal and enjoyable thing to do. Your friends will probably be happy to do whatever you’re happy doing. Hopefully, this friend doesn’t realise that you’re not happy with the ideas she’s giving - maybe she thinks she’s helping you out by planning this for you. If she knew what you wanted, hopefully she would back off.

So, you need to tell her what you want. You could say something like “honestly, I just want to go out for dinner with this list of friends. I don’t want to have to host people at my house or invite people I don’t really speak to, because that’s stressful for me. I’d love to just be able to relax and have dinner with you all”. It might be difficult to say, and you might feel bad about it, but I hope you can recognise that feeling terrible about expressing what you want to do on your birthday is irrational. Any reasonable friend would be happy to help you with a birthday plan that makes you happy. If she gets mad or annoyed about it, she’s the one acting weird or unreasonable, not you.

What is worse, having a slightly awkward conversation with your friend about what you want to do on your birthday, or having a birthday party where you feel uncomfortable and anxious and you can’t enjoy it? There’s not necessarily a right answer to that, but I think that if you want to learn how to express your own wants and needs (which is important), then now is a good time to start practising. If you don’t, how many future birthdays will you have to stress out about before you finally ask for what you want?

#advice #ask me anything #birthday #social anxiety #confrontation #friendship #advice blog #advice column #askjennie

[sanfranciscoyoginigypsy]

11/3/17

I need to start blogging again, so much happening in my life I need to write down. Halloween, the band loco tranquilo performed and I met all the members basically, and the hot guitarist really digged me and offered to walk me home, but i said no to going home with art bc i wanted to wake up early for class, but this guy was really pushing my boundaries and basically broke down all the walls i put up. and it taught me to strengthen and follow my boundaries, if I want to or dont want to do something, its easy to speak it, but i have to DO IT. I let him push them, although i tried very hard to get my way, he ended up getting his way. But on thursday it was dia de los meurtos and i walked around garfield park by my self and felt very sensitive, i carried carlos guitar pick i made a necklace from and journeyed everywhere with him, then I went to fire ceremony which was very powerful.. I had his pick in my hand and our baby picture and at first i was having an expectation for this experience to be powerful because its supposedly the most delicate day for the dead’s realm to intervene with the living, so i wanted to sit down and spend time with my brother... even tho Craig (the drummer from loco tranquilo ) invited me to this show thing and i got ready for it and everything, but i really wanted this sacred time. and when i was meditating i realized i need to have no expectations and to just meditate and feel . and i did, and it was magical.. i felt like carlo was hugging me.. i felt some weight.. some existence on my chest.. like i was being hugged, and it was in tune with my breathing..  but so magical.. i shedded a tear.. and i had the necklace with his pick wrapped around my left ring finger bc i remember reading that there is a vain where the heart connects there.. and i felt him in my heart.. it was amazing.. and a memory of when we were both getting washed by mama bc we both had lice haha.. such a fun memory ,,but i didnt even realize yesterday was day of the dead until the day was almost over.. but it all made sense.. the night before i was really down missing him and feeling him.. and i was cleaning temple for like 1 hour and vacuumed for like 20-30 minutes bc i was just so into it.. karma yoga has really helped me.. i just thought about him and grieved very powerfully the past few days.. starring at the moon reminded me of him. anyways did kirtan anyways went to piano fight bar after dia de los meurtos anyways it was very young lots of people in there 20s and it was just a huge energetic crowd i didnt really feel like i fit in well possibly bc i dont know anyone but everyone was just so young and full of energy and i usually am around these older ppl but it was this guy kyles  bday and he had a a lot of guys play an acoustic set at the bar and then had a video premiere of his new song and it was beautiful it was so amazing so psychedelic and hippie like and it reminded me of my brother and just everything about it like the music and everything was so carlo and it made me wish curl was still alive bc everyone loved this kyle guy and he literally just reminds me of foxygen and everything this kyle guy is about and music videos and the scene and I'm just made carlo did this bc he has it all a beautiful family and not a problem in life but whatever like whatre u gonna do about it right but when i got back to the ashram thats when the learning experience came.. tarvo was outside and i was interrogating him like what're u doing outside so late and stuff and trying to walk back in and he asked if i still wanted to know what beauty is and he told me and he first asked why do i not think I'm beautiful and i said my hair and face and he said that doesn't matter, beauty is basically whats inside. he said a strong will in what i believe in and who i am is whats most beautiful. he said it comes naturally to me, I've lived with it all my life.. so its easy to ignore it and think of other things to think is not great.. he said just how ahead i am.. he likes me .. he likes our interactions.. I'm very disciplined and choose what i want in life and what i dont want and I'm good at making decisions.. thats what makes me beuaitufl he said.. and just how i am naturally.. like the things i say are so sexy.. like he said are u excited about this silent movie and i said yes I've been wanting to see something exotic lately and he said see there it is thats just so sexy to me and its just how i used the word exotic to describe a film and he said he likes my eyes bc it shows i am .. i forgot the word but its like caring about others and myself.. its a very caring word.. sincere ! and that they are sexy.. and he said a lot of experiencing things.. i said it was like i was talking to god.. he like knew why i had insecurities.. he said I'm so ahead of people my age.. i just got to pass all the heartache and pain that they will experience.. but its just such a little life I'm glad i can.. I am fucking great.. i like realize things and find things inspiring in him.. like this morning he had a book but it was a different book and its like damn this guy fucking reads a lot. like ALOT. thats probably why he has such  great vocabulary and good speaking skills. when i asked how does he have such great speaking skills he said he just feels everything and then verbalizes it.. he feels how everyone is feeling in the room then speaks.. like he said he’ll think of an orange and then sees how he feels having it around his space.. something very inspiring .. i think his purpose in my life is to inspire me , to teach me, to be  friend. bc although there is some attraction between us.. i am learning a lot from him and he is providing trmemdnous growth in my life.. I am fucking kick ass I'm only fucking 19 and he's 39 and he was saying we come from two different worlds but he likes me.. but after done talking i went in the kitchen a bit upset and confused bc its like well where do we stand i mean u said all these nice things to me and mentioned this woman of yours multiple times and its like hmm.. i spent almost two hours on karma yoga and its like well thats it..the lesson isn't in relationships.. its in the growth he is giving me.. his inspiration.. his insight.. all of it.. inspires and uplifts me.. same with jesse.. it is so hard for him to be in  my space bc i am so attracted to him.. but underneath it all.. i learn a lot from him. his vocabulary.. i want to understand him more too.. these men.. that i cant have.. they all teach me something... i guess thats why i am so attracted to them.. another thing tarvo pointed out is that wisdom never leaves.. and it is best to get it as early as i can and keep it.. and then i asked well what is wisdom and he pointed out there it goes again .. thats why he likes me .. and our interactions.. it was like a movie. two different people from two different worlds.. but our energies just click.. and our conversations are unique.. and i learn a lot.. he's out there smoking his cigarette and saying all these crazy things that only inspire me.. theres a lot more.. but in the end i am just inspired to be true to my self and do what i want in life. i want to major in music. i only have one life.. so dont waste it or my time.. who cares if i won't be some crazy performer.. ill teach it at the least.. but dammnit I'm studying something that interests me and everyone else can suck my ass. in fact. i am very intelligent. i dont want to waste time with men.. tarvo said the more i work and respect and love my self,, the better the men in m life will be.. basically the people who come into my life are kind of a reflection of me.. but damn it i do want to work on myself and be this bad ass chick. I AM A BAD ASS CHICK DAMN IT> and its inly getting better. i also thought about how i always think in the future like oh someday ill be a better speaker or oh someday ill make people feel this way about me but dammnit no its NOW. right now that is happening.. today this morning chris says he loves being in my energy.. its so laid back and honest and he said better things but i cant remember.. damn it why cant i remember .. oh I'm doing so much more for myself now.. I'm listening to my body.. I've been vegan for like a week now.. today and yesterday i kind of splurged on over eating bc i got my EBT card.. but I'm recognizing it and fixing it.. i am fucking smart. i am so in tuned and I'm writing down more how i feel about things.. Feel things.. today I've been in bed from like 3am to 6 pm and half of it was sleeping and i spent a few hours just being depressed.. thinking i have an ugly face bc of my acne and nasty hair.. i disliked it all...but i grabbed the guitar and started playing and eventually i played my feelings out.. and thought damn.. ya this is the shit i want to learn.. bc i felt it.. i felt my feelings in the vibrations.. i thought, instead of being in my head with these insecurities,, i will be creative and play music. and i fucking did. i played a shit ton of music and it sounded so fucking good. I'm the fucking best. i am sick.......!>>!!>!! i am so cool.. and when i closed my eyes i really got in tune with the vibration and the noise.. i am using my time wisely now.. i thought a few days ago why waste time with someone who is not in love with me when i can be in love with other things.. and guitar came to mind. instead of spending time with worthless men in my life.. i am learning in guitar. in fact i see myself as this ultimate bad ass who just is so tuned with herself and music that nothing else (problems) MATTER. i can totally see it. I'm getting there. I'm the fucking best man. but ya I'm sick. recognize more of how beautiful i am. last night during karma yoga i thought instead of thinking of what i am not.. think of what i AM awesome yoga bitch in san frnaicso on her own killing the fucking game I'm only 19 whats up I'm super sick