#i think this will be the blog I post on for personal stuff

[klaufir]

words

I just want to thank everyone that responded to my post the other day. I read all the replies and I even read all the things people put in the tags of their reblogs. I'm so touched by a few of them I had to take a moment to gather myself . I'm happy there are so many kind-hearted people following me. I'm happy my art has attracted that kind of audience. It's a very wonderful and validating feeling. I appreciate each response very deeply.

I have always felt that it's extremely valuable for artists to talk openly about their mental health, trauma, and just things that are going on in their life. Personally I've always gotten a lot out of reading personal posts from artists I like. It feels like a thing that people do for posterity. It's good to be reminded you aren't alone. It occurred to me recently that, while this is my art blog, it's also... you know, my blog. You are allowed to just say stuff on a blog, I think.

The kind of work I've been resonating with a lot lately is work where the artist puts their personal struggles directly into it. I've been seeking to make more of this kind of work. I've been holding myself to some arbitrary standard for a while now that I need to be aloof and mysterious and quiet, and "just let the art do the talking". I don't think it's that important to me after all to be so aesthetically appealing or consistent. I am a very messy person. My path through life has been messy and my identity itself is messy. I'd like my work to reflect this more. I'm still figuring out how I want to do that. If you've been following me for a long time you know I've had this realization before, and that my life is a kind of cycle.

I've also realized that I love writing. I love reading. I love words. I will be working with words more in every way. In my art, and on my blog. It may turn out, in fact, that I'm more into writing than drawing. I guess we'll see.

Anyway, thank you. :)

[beenbaanbuun]

HI BUNNY! first of all i wanted to tell you to please take it easy and take care of yourself! don't worry about not posting long stuff! remember that this blog is still something you're doing for fun, so please don't everrr feel forced to write something! i hope everything gets better, and that you feel better (physically and emotionally) soon! i'm sending you lots of hugs and positive energy 🫂🫂

and second, omg i saw the new posts related addams!matz and im LITERALLY OBSESSED! yeosang is lowkey (more like highkey) such a cutie i can understand the way darling acts with him cuz i also wouldn't be able to be intimidated by him. and omg the part two of the addams!hongjoong angsty writing 🥹 HES SO SOFT I LOVE HIM!! and hwa being so protective and caring oh im so whipped for all of them tbh. i love how much they love their darling, it's honestly so endearing to see. and i love how yeosang is quickly getting whipped for her too LMAO. i was also wondering if darling ever sleeps (nonsexually, like napping and stuff!) with werewolf!yeosang sometimes, seeing that she very much loves clinging into him. and if she does, how does werewolf!yeosang & matz feel about it!

like i said before, take your time, rest well and feel better soon! you seem like such an amazing person, and your blog and writing brings me so much happiness, so i really hope you can feel all that happiness youre bringing to me (and many others im sure!) right back 🫂🩷

take care mWAAAH <3

— 🩰

hello my lovely!! i’m going to rest up properly and start taking better care of myself!! don’t you worry. i’m sure i’ll be back soon (not that i’m really going, i’m just not writing much lmao) with more stuff to share with you guys.

thank you so much for the love on the addams!matz fic. it means so much to me (both the fic and the compliments) and i love this universe more than anything lmaoo. all the characters are so precious to me (even the ones who haven’t really been introduced yet) and i cant wait to share more with you all!

as for your question, the answer is both yes and no. yeosang has essentially become darling’s living, breathing pillow and naps by the fire with her favourite werewolf have become so commonplace that it’s no longer a surprise to hongjoong and seonghwa when they walk into the living room to see the two of your sprawled out on top of the rug. most of the time yeosang stays awake, his eyes big and wide as he watches you sleep. it’s sweet to see him so taken by you, but if joong or hwa ever ask any questions, he’s spitting out some sort of sarcastic response in a desperate attempt to hide the fact that he’s loving having you nap on him.

“you think i like being used as a pillow for this brat? please, she’s so wriggly when she sleeps; it’s annoying.”

darling will never sleep in yeosang’s room at night, though. there’s multiple reasons but yeosang would argue that the main one is that he won’t allowed her too. like he says, she’s wriggly and he’s willing to accept that when she insists on napping with him downstairs, but in his own bed? no way. besides, hongjoong gets moody when he wakes up without either of his lovers by his side. it’s happened before where he woke up to find that darling wasn’t there. in a panic he woke up seonghwa, only for her to return from the bathroom seconds later. he gave her curt remarks about being abandoned for the rest of the day until seonghwa stepped in to put a stop to his ridiculous attitude.

“oh, you’re going to get a drink are you? i see how it is… always so desperate to abandon me for better offers…”

#ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #matz x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yeosang x reader #opposites attract universe

[flaming-green]

hi here are some accounts to follow if you're barely getting into the dead poets society fandom !! this is a veryyyyy long post im so sorry. if anyone wants to be removed from the list please tell me !! @kylacxie

first on the list !! @desire-mona (they/them). mona is everything and I love them. makes the absolute best posts ever and is just so fucking funny. you will see rsl posts very frequently. also posts about house md frequently. one of the best mutuals ever !! their tags under stuff they reblog are the best okay, they're either agreeing with you or it's something like "hey. *leans up against my anxiety diagnosis*" that's an actual tag I've gotten from one of their reblogs btw.

and now @i-am-in-love-with-todd-anderson (she/her). ania is one of the sweetest people ever and is so supportive. also very smart !! her analysis posts over the movie make so much sense and are mostly things I would've never thought of but still make so much sense. (those posts are either so depressing or are just a nice little experience.) also, she's like in love with Meeks. do I need to say any more.

@askthedeadpoetssociety (she/her). also just such a nice person. makes beautiful fan art and takes requests !! pretty sure she barely joined herself so there's not much else to say but I am very excited to see what her blog leads to !!

@pinksnail55 (she/her). everyone knows pinksnail55. we've only recently learned her name is Caroline !! her account is mainly reblogs, which I think is absolutely perfect. you would never miss a single amazing post.

@cimacally (I don't know pronouns, sorry). is also pretty new to the fandom ! comes on every once on a while to post the most accurate headcanons you will ever read in your entire life, reblog a thing or two, goes away (?), and then repeats. blog is still definitely worth checking out !!

FANFIC WRITERSS

@cowboylexapro (he/him). I've read a few of his pics and they're absolutely amazing and I would definitely check them out !!! his blog is also cool so that would be something to check out. (AO3 user: cowboylexapro)

@gayfandomnerd225 (it/kit/mae). absolutely had to include mae. has fifteen works so far and they're great !! writes both angst and fluff btw so choose your fav idk. also. please check out fog's blog !! especially the "queerdads duo" tag. (AO3 user: GayFandomNerd)

@aguyinthepubliceye (he/him). had to include the other half of my queerdads. porto. hello. he has two works and they're some of my favorites still !! also please check out his blog too ! he's funny as fuck and loves to traumatize my brother and I ( @amorisastrum ). though I wouldn't give him too much credit, user gayfandomnerd225 has those days too. (AO3 user: guyinthepubliceye)

I know @perksofbeingpoet (she/her) is a fanfic write too ! I'm just not sure if there are any works in this fandom yet. (AO3 user: perksofbeingpoet)

@chrisginny (she/her). if you're a chris x ginny enjoyer, then her blog is the place to go !! mainly only writes for that ship but it's great ! it would be nice to check out her blog as well just saying !!:) (AO3 user: ecarte)

@good--merits-accumulated (he/him). I read one of his pics the other day and it was one soo good. (Un Dernier Verre (Pour La Route) is what it's called. I highly recommend it !! is a fantastic writer and seems like a really nice person !! (AO3 user: mistermerit)

if I'm missing anyone, go ahead and reblog with people !! the list was getting long but here you go !!

#amazing people #all of you #again tell me if you didn't want to be tagged !!:) #dead poets society #dps #dps fandom #dead poets fandom

[thought--bubble]

Taking a little breaky break

This is just a heads up for my small little group of people on here. I have come to call my friends. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to be taking a much needed respite from tumblr and probably discord, too. I am feeling lost, sad,overwhelmed, and confused.

I know it sounds silly or whatnot, but all of this stuff is overwhelming and depressing, and I feel sick when I open this app at this point.

The best word to use, I guess, would be winded, maybe?

I joined Tumblr in Sept 23, and at first, it was really fun, a much needed escape from my daily never-ending list of crap to do.

I unfortunately learned how crazy this fandom can get early on and the hard way. I had hoped that that was just a one-off due to my newbie ignorance and took it as a lesson learned for myself.

But it's starting to feel like the drama never fucking stops. It just keeps going, and nice people, kind people, just get dragged and ridiculed for seemingly no reason. I will pathetically admit that I am a sensitive soul, and the things I've read and seen have seriously negatively affected me.

When people are catty regarding people they don't like or that don't like them, I can usually reconcile that to a particular degree. People are, in fact, people. Not everyone is going to vibe with everyone, and people will make jokes at others' expense, and it isn't exactly mature, but it happens.

That is what I expected when I heard this was coming. Some catty shit slinging between people who don't like each other.

But that isn't all this was, and I'm having a really hard time with that. I even thought, "Oh maybe some moderately rude jokes here and there where you know cultural differences and stuff could account for that" like I'm from the northeast and we can be harsh out here. So something that may be offensive to someone from another area may be looked at here just as a joke made in poor taste.

I know I myself have made jokes or whatnot, but you would think certain things would be off limits.

I thought I could combat the negative with positives. Silly jokes, little messages filled with love, but even that isn't working at this point.

My heart hurts, and my brain hurts.

And all this stuff has made me question myself. I had a block list a mile long for the longest time. Filled predominantly with people I had never spoken to because I was scared, nervous, I didn't want to accidentally interact with a post of someone who would be upset that I did, I unfollowed blogs I liked based on this same principle. I just desperately did not want to make someone mad or uncomfortable and find myself back in some weird mean anon tornado.

I tried to sus out who would be bothered by my presence and who wouldn't. I can't even know if my thoughts on who may or may not be upset by me were based on my paranoia or a perception i developed or was potentially affected by outside sources.

Now, i just don't know what the hell is going on.

Sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to be honest. There are some of us out here who are just standing around with question marks over our heads.

Maybe it's because I wasn't here for a lot of that other weirdness. Maybe it's because of early events that shaped my experience on this app, but I for sure 100% need a break.

I'm an odd duck and love this app mostly because it's the only site I've seen where others actively fan-girl over my favorite Ewan character.

But right now, not even my love for Will can keep me on this app, and for those who know me, that's truly saying something.

This post is not meant to badmouth anyone at all. Honestly at this point I couldn't bad mouth anyone because I'm fucking lost on who anyone really is or how they really feel about things, dude I'm just plain lost.

Thank you to those who have been kind. My apologies to those I may have judged or assumed things about based on who the hell knows.

I hope that when I come back, I can open this app without yet another person that I like having a post of them being torn apart. Or a post of a story that I had heard being told in a completely different way and throwing me for a complete loop.

For now I am going to watch Will edits on TikTok and maybe read via Ao3.

Love and healing vibes to all.

#To my lovelies #I'll be back #I'm just not sure when #hotd fandom

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

in your personal opinion do you think Bro Zone Deserved another chance in the end? ( I swear I will start posting some other stuff soon that isn't just Bro zone bashing as I do want to have a bit of Variety in my content but for now lets keep talking Bro zone 😂😂😂😂 )

personally the argument scene makes it a no for me Branch giving them a second chance is understandable but giving them a third chance after they threw it back in his face.

and mocked and belittled him for having perfectly valid feelings is where I feel they crossed a line of no return.

sorta makes it sadly ironic when Branch sings the lines "" I'm already up but you lift me Higher "" in Better Place when his Bros have literally done nothing but the opposite in the film prior to this scene.

at that point they deserved to be cut off frankly even if they did apologise and beg for forgiveness which they didn't all they did was agree to let Branch Bail them out of trouble.

its just toxic and isn't really something you should forgive over and over again otherwise it will just keep happening its how people in the real world get stuck in emotionally abusive relationships.

or why children never speak out about their abusive families because its been drilled into them that this behaviour is normal and acceptable.

not that this is exactly the same but its a fair comparison imo.

anyway I have some other stuff lined up for the near future that isn't Bro zone Related so I promise there will be some variety on this Blog pretty soon it won't all just be Bro zone lol 😂😂😂😂

#trolls #trolls branch #trolls brozone #dreamworks trolls #branch trolls #branch #trolls band together #trolls dreamworks #brozone #trolls 3 #trolls branch angst #trolls brozone angst #Trolls #Trolls Branch #Trolls Brozone #Trolls Bro Zone

[dupliciti]

hi hi ! i'm gonna be cleaning up my following/followers list by softblocking inactive blogs, those who haven't interacted with me in any capacity (either ic or ooc, liking posts as a minimum) despite having followed me for a long while, and those i don't see easy interactions with or there's a lot of dupes of a muse i might be following and need to scale back. newer moots, none of these apply to you

if you note that i've softblocked you but are still interested, i won't mind you following me again and will follow back. none of this is personal, i just need to make things a lil easier on myself while im stuck in my slump

additionally.. in regards to replies. i'm not really going to be throwing out old drafts or asks. however i think i've missed a few things that should've been drafted. if you noticed it's been a while and i either didn't like the post or haven't replied it's likely i didn't see it or i forgot to draft it so feel free to remind me about it. i will note that i still have early march stuff. i will get to everything

i'll be playing catch up this week and next, meaning replying to things and letting them stack to build a queue.

#i'll do this tomorrow morning as i set aside time to write before my shift #( tbd; ) #( ◇ ᵐʸ ᵈᵉᵃʳ ᵃᵘᵈⁱᵉⁿᶜᵉ┊ ooc; )

[albywritesfiction]

Alby's Notes (#9)

Hello everyone! It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it? 😅

Well, time for us to take a seat and talk, ‘cause I’ve got some news for y’all. Dunno if this is going to be good or bad news to you guys, so I’m just calling it news

1. I’m not going to be very active on Tumblr, at least for the foreseeable future.

It has honestly been rather challenging for me to juggle acads, orch, personal stuff, writing, and managing this blog all together, so for the sake of my sanity, I’ve made the tough decision to take a few steps back from posting content here.

2. I’ll be closing the ask box for a while.

Since I haven’t been able to answer asks for a month or two, I now have a backlog of asks to go through. The number of asks I have in my inbox is rather overwhelming to me, to be honest 😅 And some of them are similar to others that have been sent previously, which I feel bad about because it’s like, wasted time, y'know, like, you wouldn't have needed to ask a similar question if i had answered the first one 😓

And some similar questions I haven’t been able to answer because they’re questions that I need time (and the brainpower honestly) to answer. 😓

So until I’ve cleared out my Tumblr inbox, I’ll be closing the ask box.

3. I’ll be shifting more towards using Discord

I’ve made a Discord server while I’ve been slowly chipping away at Chapter 1 Part 3 :) Special thanks to my lil bro @system-operations for being my guinea pig as I worked on and tested out the server 🤭

So, part of the reason why it’s been difficult for me to do stuff on Tumblr is because my access to it is rather limited now due to personal stuff; it’s nothing bad, don’t worry, and it’s not because I’ve been doing anything shady or illegal (I think it’d be the shock of the century to people who know me if they ever heard that I did something like that 😅). It’s just personal stuff 😅

I also think that part of why I’ve been overwhelmed with Tumblr stuff is because of the similar asks that start to pile up the longer that I’m unable to answer them, which is why I’ve set up some forum channels in the server where people can send questions and feedback and you guys can see what questions have been asked and which ones have been answered, especially without needing to wonder if I received your questions and answered them or not.

But the main purpose of this server is to provide a lil space where you guys can hang out and maybe interact with each other and with me :3 I’ve got a few things planned for server activities:

Game Night: We would play some of the games in Discord Activities and some other online browser games like Red Flags and Cards Against Humanity

Watch Party: We would watch some animes that are available on Youtube (such as Campfire Cooking in Another World [10/10 great anime in my opinion we stan wholesomeness in this household]) and Starkid musicals (the Hatchetfield trilogy is fire y’all), and probably some other Youtube stuff

Study With Me: Just popping into a voice channel and playing some music while I study helps me quite a lot apparently, so if that works for any of you who might join the server, it’s a-okay if you wanna join in :3

But of course, participation in these activities is very much optional! It’s okay if you’d prefer to lurk, I’m a lurker myself in most of the other servers I’ve joined 😅

However, I do want to make it very clear now that this will be an 18+ server, as it will not only be for ATE but also for the other IF projects that I have planned, some of which will contain content that is not suitable for minors. So just to be sure, I’ve decided to restrict the server to those 18 and above. Please, for any underage followers that I may have, do not lie about your age if you join because I will have to remove you from the server. You have been warned.

4. Now, going back to the Tumblr asks...

So now that I’ve laid out the stuff with Discord, you might be wondering what’s gonna happen with the Tumblr asks after I’ve answered the stuff in my inbox. Well, here’s what I’m planning to do:

Step 1: Compile all Tumblr asks into a Google doc 

Step 2: Add any Discord asks into same Google doc

Step 3: Share the Google doc for public viewing

Step 4: Re-open Tumblr ask box

Step 5: Update the Google doc as I receive asks, even if I’m unable to answer the questions immediately

This way, everyone can see the asks, whether or not you’ve got Discord or Tumblr, and the search for the asks is gonna be a lot more efficient! 

So long, Tumblr search, hellooo my old buddy ctrl/cmd+f!

5. And what about the Tumblr blog in general?

It’s still gonna be here, and I’m still going to post about significant updates to ATE! It’s just gonna be quieter once I’m done answering all the asks that are currently in my ask box.

So, yeah! That’s my novella of news 😅 I’ll be sharing the link for the Discord server in the next post so the link and the stuff I’ve said about it aren’t buried in the wall of text you just read/skimmed through. 😅

Thank you all so much for all the love and support you’ve had for ATE, and I hope you all have a great day/night ahead!

#alby's notes #after the end #ate-if #ate-if asks

[starry-bugs]

this is gonna be my only post on Everything with the qsmp going on.

personally, to me, nacho feels like a distraction. i genuinely cannot get attached to it or any sort of arc the qsmp is doing when I know things are still being run poorly and people are being iced out.

and in all honesty the fact that it's being done and it's working disgusts me. how are we as a community going to let them continue to run things with both roleplay admins and updates accounts when they said they wouldn't, and let them introduce a new egg to us when we know people's workers rights have been violated.

if you like the old qsmp stuff that's fine, so do I. but if you're someone who like blames the admins who have spoken up for this or genuinely still think things are better now when they're not, just unfollow me. I'm hardly even really a qsmp blog anymore so like there's no real point if that's what you've been here for.

#im not maintagging this #discourse #bugs.doc

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[golyadkin]

I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr

not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work

believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody

#not art #listen #for real #this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people #you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here #every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it #that never see my cursor close to the save button #i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person #i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me #because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art #is by doing it for the sake of doing it #not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare #anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse #but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website #stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags #your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that #if you're an artist for a living that's another story #but even then #even then #anyways sorry i'm done ranting

[dumb-doll-lips]

Maybe controversial, but on posts about being dumb where girls are like saying ‘but I’m actually smart.’ Like tbh, I don’t really believe them. Like if you’re smart why does feeling dumb feel so good or hot or whatever to you then? I kinda feel like it’s having an excuse to let go of trying as much as you would be when you’re saying your smart. If you’re like really actually smart, I don’t feel like a break from ‘being smart’ would be such a relief or like as appealing.

#if you’re on my blog much may have noticed I’m just having a lot of feelings about this more lately #like it’s okay to not be smart #you can be happier #and like I feel like I sometimes get people who try to call me smart #like there’s diff skill sets #I think I’m still pretty good at soft skills and like makeup stuff #but like I regularly can’t get left and right right or name all the months and so on for lots of things #idk. I feel like dumb doesn’t mean you’re horrible at everything #like you still have value and can make a positive impact but just in different ways #I’m a soo much happier when at work I’m more focused on being someone others really like to work w than like being efficient at my job #and honestly seems like people prefer that #I have too many thoughts about at this lately #really hoping throughing them into the intenrwbt even if it’s more in tags gets out of my head more #personal #also very much not at a 100 notes but for a text post from me it’s impressive so… #100+ #little thoughts

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary #bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it #so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences. #being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much #compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself #tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments. #tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts #could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably #and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist #but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think #this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines #and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before #it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person. #this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3 #we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically #p

[trans-axolotl]

actually there are so many things that come up for just like, general intersex sex ed and also intersex sex work specific stuff that me and my friends have talked about that we just can't find public, easily accessible info about ANYWHERE.

like info about contraception options, like the fact that if you have two uteruses you actually would need two IUDs if that's your method of choice. or like. how hormonal birth control methods interact with intersex variations in different ways based on our existing hormonal profiles. or like. so many of the other intersex sex workers i know we needed info about how to Deal with pain from penetration bc every time we had penetrative sex it hurt so fucking much and we needed to figure out a way to make that sustainable. cause only some of us are masochists lmfao. or tips on how to have penetrative sex and diff positions and ways to use your hand as like. a bumper so that your partner's penis doesn't go all the way in and how to sort of maneuver that without your client necessarily seeing. or the fact that they make toys for that now. or like sex ed for okay, what barrier methods do you have when you have a micropenis/clitoromegaly, what do you do if condoms are too large. how do you use an internal condom if you don't have a cervix.

and also like. i've talked a lot with intersex sw friends about how many of us have to purposefully market ourselves as a hermaphrodite and how much that fucks with our head. and like, trying to figure out how and when we disclose to our clients--do we hope that they just don't notice or that we just stick to oral or like. do we tell them upfront? which is the lowest risk of violence? me and so many of my intersex sw friends have gotten hurt really fucking bad by clients who got upset that we were intersex and it's just. like. there's just so much shit and unless we find each other it's really fucking hard to figure a lot of this shit out, especially for fssw. especially for younger sw.

i just want there to be more resources and for it to be easier for intersex sw to find each other and support each other because like, even as much as my trans sw friends have been the people who have come closest to Getting it. there's still a lot of shit that is so intersex specific that i just really want to talk to other intersex people about. and i'm so glad i do have intersex sw friends now but it's like. i didn't have any of that community or knowledge when i Really most needed it

#personal #sw #intersexism tw #h slur tw #sex ed #actuallyintersex #vent #sex work is work #i think that's my tag for sw stuff on this blog #also if anyone starts saying whorephobic swerf shit on this post i will make fun of you and block you #me complaining about things does not mean i want to criminalize sex work. like. cmon

[aroaceleovaldez]

i mean it when i say we've gotta bring back askblogs. bring back making character chat posts with poor choice text colors over random backgrounds. bring back blogs dedicated to what outfits you think characters would wear.

fandom is an ecosystem, not a numbers game. these types of blogs/posts/etc still exist in concept, because people still want to make them and they're a great way to get your thoughts of an idea out in a simple format, but most people make them on like tiktok or instagram reels and that's where the problem lies. Those videos don't go anywhere. The format doesn't allow for the discussion to spread through the community and they're less likely to be engaged with in general. And to make them most people have to either show their face or figure out editing software, so the barrier to entry is higher (editing) and/or they have to forfeit an amount of privacy.

those types of posts/blogs are the first rung of the ecosystem. they're the perfect environment for younger members of the fandom to begin safely interacting with the larger community and putting their own thoughts and ideas out there. roleplay is the other major spot for that and those communities are diminishing as well, honestly (if you know of an rp forum board site, cherish it. and if you can make one, make one). they allow younger fans to begin engaging with the source material on a different/deeper level, but still at a very low barrier to entry, and begin conversations with other fans, which also helps them build skills which in turn may encourage them to pursue other avenues within the fandom (fic writing, other formats of askblog - which itself usually leads to art, cosplay, also fic writing, etc). Without those places to build those skills, they might feel discouraged from trying to begin when surrounded by curated people who have built their skills up for years.

And those conversations they foster also in turn help the community, by offering ideas to artists or fic writers to extrapolate on or building community jokes. And that text/blog format specifically is extremely beneficial, because it allows younger members of the fandom to remain anonymous and keep their privacy without concerning themselves with having any platform or having anything attached to them (very important for young fans figuring themselves out and navigating online community spaces for the first time, since they can remove themselves from spaces easily if they decide they don't like it and they're protected, rather than PUTTING THEIR FACE ON THE INTERNET). And those posts they make will spread a lot more into the community since they're in a significantly easier format to be reposted (few people are gonna be reposting tons of random short-form videos versus spamming their instagrams with reposts of 10 random fandom images yoinked from tumblr, or reposting to pinterest or something). Like, don't repost art, at the VERY least don't repost without credit, but also I am not ignorant to the fact that my art is not just the first google image result for "pjo pride" and related searches, but also the 4th, the 6th, the 9th, the 10th, the 11th, etc etc., and pops up in the search results before the official ReadRiordan does simply because people reposted my work more (most with credit, thankfully).

For fandom to be a community, it needs to perpetuate itself. There needs to be engagement with one another and conversation. If that bottom rung is cut off, then new fans won't be able to grow into the other niches of the fandom, and the fandom will be solely reliant on the source material and die out extremely quickly, and there won't be a community. There's no conversation! There's no reason to stay beyond the original material! But if you don't have points of entry for new fans, they won't have any way to build the skills needed to move into those niches, or engage with the community in a healthy way.

tl;dr: Bring back askblogs and character-based text post blogs. They are vital to fandom ecosystem.

#fandom #long post // #i know many people jest about tumblr posts being reposted often to other social media #but there's a reason for that! because few other social media these days are primarily text-based! and tumblr is a BLOGGING website! #we're built for sharing random essays! which means we have a LOT of word-heavy stuff #that other platforms can really only have in a different format - usually either image or video - due to character limits #and videos - even short form video - is far less engaged with because it takes more time to interact with #and short form videos of this nature ^ are usually only reposted in like. long-form video format compilations #which are pretty equally if not even less frequently interacted with #because most of those other social media platforms dont have good ways to easily share posts en mass like tumblr's reblog function #so even if those posts do get shared they rarely go far and even if they do they dont stick around #i also personally dont think it's coincidental that general fandom attitude shifts occurred circa 2016-2018 #around the same time as the major shift away from tumblr due to the bans #anyways if you run one of those types of blogs i respect you immensely #you are underappreciated but you fulfill an important ecological niche #also i know rp blogs are still a thing but theyre much more scarce and rp communities in general are drying up

[excali8ur]

You ever look through your follower list and realise how many people are following you who you absolutely cannot stand.

So anyway. Time to do some spring cleaning. Bioessentialists & transphobes get the fuck off my blog. Ace and aro exclusionists get the fuck off my blog. SWERFs and “no kink at pride” types get the fuck off my blog. Right wingers get the fuck off my blog. Antisemites get the fuck off my blog. None of you are welcome here.

(And if none of this applies to you, you’re totally welcome here!)

#personal #Bleh. #I hate having to do these posts why can’t people just be decent #I’ve been lazy though #Now I’ve got blogs following me who have bios threatening to mutilate ‘AMAB people’ if they interact #Fucking disgusting. Eat shit & delete your blog #I know this is my art blog not my personal blog so people aren’t really gonna get much of a sense of who I am from it #But I wanna make it clear I’m not willing to interact with people who think that stuff is okay. #I wasn’t even looking through my followers for this stuff I was looking for petty fandom reasons dghdvdjd #Ugh #Anyway. Going to bed #ALSO. THIS ISN’T REBLOG BAIT #I’m just trying to scare off some people from My blog #Just so you know-

[anothermonikan]

Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)

#hey she didn't actually come out too bad! #I didn't show the last time I tried to draw Sunny but it didn't look great ehe ^^; #I think Ponies are gonna have to be a digital art only thing for now cause I had the select and drag so many elements of this #to make this look right sahsdhdshsdh #Yeah despite liking ponies since I've became a conscious thing I never drew them a bunch #and well. that's because I didn't start drawing properly until I was like. 11 years old. and I was super into something else then ehe ^^; #Sorry to get personal in the tags of an mlp art thing but I do think about how I always wanted to draw but like. #I was such a chronic perfectionist as a little little kid??? I HATED everything I tried to make XD #It makes me a little sad yknow? cause like. most kids don't give a shit they just draw whatever and it's beautiful and amazing #it makes me sad that I didn't allow myself to have that! I worked backwards IG lmao #little 6 year old hating everything she tried to make for not being perfect to me now where I love when my art is full of imperfections #that's the point of art!!! Have fun!!! It doesn't need to be perfect or even “good”! #because art is about expression yknow? and drawing stuff you like! #sorry this only took like an hour this should be on a more high-effort drawing sdhdhdshsd #Also um hi to the person who followed me for MLP G5 art?? I mostly post about puters and Ultrakill and Rain World here #But I do really love ponies I need to draw them more often XD #this is my whatever blog. I post whatever interests me here hehe #MLP #MLP G5 #Android Arts #Android.txt