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#i think that’s why i’ve always been lowkey.. bitter
byuntrash101 · 1 year
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Girls like me
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dom!reader x sub!felix
smut | nsfw | mdni
nerdsub!felix is adorable, softishdom!reader, felix's freckles ♡, pet names (good boy, babyboy), praising, handjob, corruption kink, semi-public (library), edging, begging, cum eating, this is lowkey wholesome dont @ me...
requested | part of my 2023 prompt event [closed]
Felix's heart flutter when he thinks of you but he's not sure if he can be with a girl like you...
[❛ i’m going to ruin you. ❜ + ❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜]
TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤
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You always liked the library. Not because of the books or the fast wifi but because it was quiet and peaceful. Because it was just a place to catch a quick break of it all and… because Felix was always there. 
Felix the straight As student, always buried deep in his notes. He was in your major so you shared most of your classes with him but you never talked to him in class. He was way too bashful and/or focussed.
But here. You could maybe get his cute nose out of the thick books.
So many nights you closed down the library with him. Exchanging cute glances over his oversized square glasses, his rosy cheeks speckled with small freckles. He was adorable. You loved this duality between his timid demeanor and his deep voice always answering back to you with short answers.
You let your forehead rest on your microbiology book and sighed.
If only you hadn’t made that move yesterday. Trying to kiss him was just foolish of you. You remember how regret crept under your skin when he looked back at you with the round eyes of a deer trapped in headlights. You hadn’t seen him since. Not in class and not in the library. WHich was very unlike him. It was almost closing time and you were the only one left here. And still no sign of your favorite most adorable nerd.
You groaned and shook your head chasing the bitter memory away.
But… when you looked back up. Felix was standing right beside your table. His white shirt and beige pants perfectly represented him. His beautifully long blonde hair framing his face, the ends of it resting on his big square glasses. You instantly started smiling. But that smile faded when Felix didn’t return it.
“Hey…” his deep voice started hesitantly. 
“Felix… I” you wanted to apologize but you couldn’t.
“Listen y/n… I…” he was fidgeting with his fingers, anxiously pulling at his nails. “I like you ok…”
You stopped breathing for a while. This was the last thing you were expecting.
“But I don't think I can… be with you” he whispered.
“Why not?” you asked. Getting up from your chair and taking his hand in yours, trying to soothe him, your thumb caressing his slender fingers.
“Because I’ve never been with a girl… Like… you…”
You both knew what it meant. It meant a girl that liked to be in control. That was going to guide him.
Fuck he was so cute, freckled cheeks painted a light shade of pink. Your other hand went to gently wrap around his small waist. You heard him ever so slightly gasp at your touch.
“Why don’t you at least try first, hm?” you leaned over, lips almost touching his. Felix looked like he was expecting a kiss but when you didn’t progress further he looked surprised. “What do you say babyboy?” you asked again.
Felix felt a strange and unknown quiver in his lower stomach at the word. His eyes fluttered between your eyes and your lips when he finally nodded.
And you kissed him very sweetly, slow and sensual, guiding the dance from start to finish and for a guy that was so hesitant he was so good at being obedient. 
“That’s my good boy” you said, opening your eyes back. Felix didn’t expect to like it that much. The daring attitude, the kiss, the praise, the firm touch on his side. Without realizing he was imperceptibly squirming between your arms, looking for friction and before he could even understand what he was going through he was getting hard. Of course you didn’t fail to notice.
His sweet innocent behavior all the while being a needy little boy awakened something in you. Something rougher, hungrier. Something that you kept at bay for a long time. Maybe too long but somehow you needed to keep it under control for just a little longer.
Your hand dropped to his thigh, nails trailing to his clothed hard on. When you finally laid hands on it Felix was biting down on his lip trying so hard not to explode. You gave it a firm squeeze and that sufficed to pull out of him the most melodious and divine moan you’ve ever heard. Shameful, high pitched. Perfect.
You couldn’t hold back anymore. You forcefully shoved him back onto the nearby shelves, making them shake. Your hand slipped to his nape and you growled in his ear.
“My sweet innocent babyboy” you whispered, cooing and lapping at his ear. Felix shuddered again at the word. “I’m going to ruin you.”
Felix felt himself twitch. It was like every single atom of his will was leaving him. With these simple little touches and words he wanted to throw himself at you. Fuck why did he like that so much? 
In one move, almost magically, you stripped him of his bottom clothes and unbuttoned his white shirt exposing his cute pink nipples and flushed chest. You trailed his abs with your sharp nail, lifting goosebumps on his soft skin. Then finally grabbed the aching member, already dripping with thick, slimy precum.
“Fuck you’re so fucking wet for me already” you whispered firmly grabbing the base. You starting slowly jerking him off, at a pace that was pure torture at least for him because it was bliss for you. You smiled at how his face contorted in need, how he gave pathetic little thrusts trying so bad to make you go faster.
“Is this what you wanted?” you asked, lips pressed to his blazing skin. Felix felt like his heart was consuming itself. Like he would burst into flames if he didn’t get to feel more of you right here, right now.
“Yesss!” he answered without a shadow of a doubt.
“So eager” you teased as you went ever so slightly faster. Felix shut his eyes closed and pushed his blonde head back in the books behind him, the yellow strands of hair clasping his sweaty forehead.
You went faster again, your hand perfectly gliding alongside him, from base to tip, gathering more precum and going down again. Your other hand left his nape to play with his balls. 
At the very second you started to fondle them it happened again. That same moan. His hands flew to his mouth as his eyes filled with shame. He was trying so bad to be silent. It was so pathetic and cute. You had to reassure him. Tell him it was okay.
“No one’s here. We can be as loud as we want.” You said. “ I want to hear the beautiful sounds you make.” you pecked the base of his neck.
It was like you had opened a tap. From that moment onwards he reacted to every touch. Letting his beautiful high pitched voice out. A true symphony. He made a variety of sounds you never suspected him to be able to produce. He was giving himself up to you, letting you string him along like a puppet. A well behaved puppy led by his red, veiny and dripping leash.
“Are you close, baby?” you whispered, nibbling on his red ear.
“Yes… Please… I wanna cum” he cried out, fucking himself off in your hands, matching your rhythm perfectly.
“You wanna cum for me baby ?” you bit on his neck. Earning another melodious moan from the freckled boy.
“Yesss… Please!!” his legs were trembling, about to give out.
“No, not yet” you instructed sternly.
His fucked out eyes snapped back to you, full of misery and despair, eyebrows deeply knitted and sweat dripping down his temples.
“Please Please” he pleaded in short and shallow breaths. “I-I’d do anything… Please! Please!” he started to stutter, whining. You took a good look at him. You smirked at the memory of him being so indecisive a second ago, thinking he couldn’t possibly be with you. But look at him now, thrusting his red and weeping cock in your palm, watery eyes full of anguish. He was magnificent. He was begging you so well you decided to allow him.
“Cum, baby” you ordered. “Cum for me right now” 
It was all he needed. He let out a powerful stream of white cum as a beautiful string of moan was cascading from his plump lips, beautiful soft features twisted by relieving pleasure. A long stream even got all the way to your abandoned microbiology book sitting on the table.
You brought your stained fingers to your lips to have a taste of him as he collapsed to the ground, exhausted. The strong taste filled your head and you savored every drop of him.
You got on his level, linking your lips with his. At first he was surprised by the bitter salty taste maybe because he didn’t see you bring your fingers to your tongue but when he realized what this alluring taste was he quickly returned the kiss. Losing himself in his own taste, completely capitulating to you in this final act of submission.
“How was it, baby?” You asked, finally parting from him.
“Great” he briefly answered out of breath. “I wanna do it again” he said, bashful eyes returning. Like it was a whole different person begging for release, eyes half closed and mouth agape a second ago.
“Today I was nice and gentle with you. Next time I’ll show you what girls like me really do to boys like you”.
A/N: should i do a part two ? idk haha i kinda really liked it lol come say hi in my asks if you liked it too!
PART 2 HERE
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mediocre-daydreams · 2 years
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hello 🫶🏻🫶🏻 can i req a peter parker x stark!reader who r also bffs (with feelings 4 eachother) where both of them have this little game they like to play with eachother where they make up like insane conversations and the other has to follow along until they get tired ?? like “oh you look fine even though you got stabbed by an alien yesterday” “u dont look too shabby for someone who had to give birth to a baby” IDK like anything u want but they didnt know that their conversations were getting overheard by the other avengers and once the avengers come together and talk about it they’re like wait.. why the fuck does it sound like [] have two children at home and are secretly married IDK ANYTHING U WANT BUT AS CRAZY AS POSSIBLE i love crack fics
TYSM <33
— 🦜
i've been putting this off bc i love the idea and want it to be perfect so i stayed up late last night and in my delirious haze i came up with some dialogue prompts and i woke up this morning and found it in my notes so here's the beaut! i lowkey love it thank you 🦜 !!
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞
peter parker x stark! reader
summary: at first, you and peter were like "let's see who can uphold the most ridiculous conversations," but bro... you don't think the sexual tension is a joke anymore, and neither do the other avengers.
w/c: 3.1k
notes: crack crack crack, fluff, swearing, many sexual innuendos (and also just jokes about sex outright) and swears (c'mon it's me), mentions of abortions and roe v wade in a humorous context, murder, cannibalism, and foot fetishes in a humorous context, one "ur mom" joke, if it sounds crazy that's because it is crazy and i think u should just read it already
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
you and peter’s friendship was anything but normal. well, you supposed, nothing could ever be normal for the two of us. peter’s an arachnid abomination and i’m the daughter of an egotistical billionaire who cosplays as a flying suit.
there were two ways in which your relationship was unusual. one: the practically nonexistent line between platonic and romantic, which everybody just always had to point out. the two of you had always been a bit touchy-feely—to be fair, mostly with each other, but were you really to blame? you were stuck in a tower full of traumatized assassins, spies, and people in metal suits; it wasn’t like there was any good cuddling options around. peter was a self-described “nerd and loser,” so girls weren’t exactly lining up to cuddle with him either. 
two: you had a game going on (if it could even be called that). peter had a hard time transitioning into an “official” member of the team, so you, being the coolest and closest to his age, tasked yourself with the responsibility of being his friend.
what started as making up nonsensical greetings or coming up with more and more obscure versions of “see ‘ya later, alligator” had spiraled into a competition of who could keep the most ridiculous conversations going.
--
you were sitting beside natasha at the kitchen bar, the two of you nursing copious amounts of black coffee and sporting dark eye bags. (so maybe karaoke with katy and shang-chi on a wednesday night wasn’t the greatest idea you’d ever had.)
peter took a double-take as he made his way towards the fridge, looking perfectly refreshed and wide awake.
“lookin’ good!” peter clicked his tongue at you in greeting, smirking at the scowl on your face. he knew you would’ve flipped him off had you not been holding your drink.
“thanks,” you drawled sarcastically. “i’ve been trying this new diy skincare routine, where you use curdled breastmilk as a face mask for 20 minutes. it’s really helping with my dark circles.”
natasha, the woman who was never caught off guard, was caught off guard.
peter hummed thoughtfully as he poured himself a glass of milk, which he was now losing his appetite for. “20 minutes seems pretty short, don’t ‘cha think? i keep my menstrual blood mask on for at least 35 minutes.”
you scoffed, taking a large swig of your coffee and wincing at its bitterness. “yeah, well you should probably do it for longer. i can see your premature wrinkles forming from here.”
peter slipped into the seat beside you and smiled in greeting to natasha, whose eyes were bleary and unfocused. peter turned to shove his face close to yours.
“hm, maybe you should try juice cleansing. your skin is looking awfully dull today, unlike mine, which is dewey and radiant.”
you rolled your eyes. “sure, dude. look at your birdnest for hair.” you tangled your fingers through his mess of curls and scratched his scalp. peter couldn’t hide the content groan that slipped from his mouth.
“if my skin is dull, your hair is practically straw. unlike mine, which is easy, breezy, beautiful: covergirl.” you made a big show of preening your bedhead.
natasha made gagging noises. “alright, you two are disgusting. in more ways than one. can you please stop, because i’m so hungover right now and i will not hesitate to aim my projectile vomit onto one of your faces.”
you and peter looked at each other with big grins. peter shot finger guns at natasha. “eyy, that’s the spirit!”
--
you and peter found it especially funny to start these sorts of conversations in front of steve and bucky. not only were the two perplexed by modern lingo, they were also the most gullible two people on the team, which made them easy targets.
bucky and steve exchanged testosterone-fuelled jabs at each other in the sparring ring as you tied your shoelaces as peter sprayed his face with water. the two of you listened to the grunts of exertion and the various gruff noises that filled the air to appease the two supersoldiers’ masculinities.
you sighed, stretching your sore arms. you and peter had been fooling around with the gym equipment for an hour now, waiting for bucky and steve’s match to finish (and it didn’t look like either of them planned on backing down anytime soon). with a final tug on your shoelaces, you looked up at peter curiously, who blushed at your wide, innocent eyes. or perhaps he was just red from the exercise.
“you smell really good,” you commented, bumping your shoulder against his. “what cologne do you use?”
peter paused to consider his response. “it’s… my au naturale body odor. it’s cruelty free and uh, vegan.”
“that’s so earth conscious of you!” you gushed, running a warm hand up and down peter’s arm. though he was sweaty, gross, and overheated, he shivered at your touch.
“y-yeah. i haven’t showered in three weeks. it really enhances the… musky base notes of the scent. it’s very masculine,” he nodded as if he knew what he was talking about.
“well, it’s very aromatic. i like it.” you patted peter’s bicep definitively, jumping to your feet as you bent in half to stretch out your limbs. peter stared at your ass toned calves, and thought that he should work on his legs as well.
“oh hey, it looks like bucky and steve are done!” you pointed at the two heaving supersoldiers, who had stopped fighting altogether so they could stare at you and peter.
bucky mouthed “what the fuck?” to steve. steve mouthed “language” back.
--
peter was busy scrawling illegible physics notes as he, tony, and bruce watched planet earth intently. bruce was busy jabbering away at the “incredible biological discoveries” that david attenborough was narrating, and tony was absentmindedly filing his nails while occasionally poking peter in the back with his toe to correct him on a mistake he’d written.
“hey dad. bruce.” you caught sight of peter’s unmistakable form, hunched over the glass coffee table with papers scattered haphazardly across the surface and a bulletpoint pen between his teeth tha you found very seductive endearing.
“hey peter!” you squeaked. “it’s- uh, fancy seeing you here!” you blurted, cheeks heating as peter turned to you with his cute stupid fucking glasses.
“hey,” he raised his eyebrows. “you come here often?” peter purred lowly.
you gulped, unsure as to why he was bothering you so much today. maybe your period had come early.
“no, actually. i was stopping by to meet my real estate agent here; i’m loving this property,” you played along, tucking yourself into peter’s side.
“ah, well, they’re not here at the moment. i think they got stopped at security—something about smuggling exotic animals. but i could be your tour guide, if you want? i’m very… thorough.” peter waggled his eyebrows.
david attenborough began discussing whale mating habits.
“oh, are you now?” you challenged, biting your lip smugly as you watched peter began to stutter.
“y-yes, i am. and, as a matter of fact,” peter turned to pull something from his pocket. he presented you with a microfiber cloth. “i’m such a gentleman, i’ll even clean you up after.”
peter’s head was suddenly slammed into the glass table. tony had rammed his foot (not just the toes) against peter’s curls.
“stop sexing up my daughter, spiderling. i’ll take out your suit’s built-in heater.”
“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, mr. stark,” peter sputtered.
you giggled at his immediate change in attitude. leaning in, you murmured into his ear. “me, you, my bedroom, nine pm. i’d like that thorough tour.”
neither of you were sure if the offer was genuine.
--
sam had invited the team to a backyard party with his family, but not without warning everybody to watch their language around the kids. (it was an empty threat; everyone knew sam would be the first to slip up.)
you were “chatting” with a little kid; in other words, nodding along as they infodumped about cretaceous period with surprising expertise for a 5 year old.
you felt a poke in your side and screamed embarrassingly loudly. peter stared at you for a second, cheeks puffing and lips pinching together, before he burst into laughter. spit went flying all over your face.
“ew, you nasty! eugh,” you made a big deal of it. looking at the kid, you pointed at peter. “c’mon, let’s attack him! like a… brachiosaurus!”
the kid looked at you disdainfully. “the brachiosaurus was a herbivore, idiot. and it lived during the jurassic era, not the cretaceous period.”
your jaw dropped at the child’s betrayal. the mini-paleontologist toddled away, leaving you and peter dumbfounded.
“i sure missed a lot,” peter gaped.
“i- apparently, yeah.” you tucked your head into peter’s shoulder, fiddling with your empty plate. conversation buzzed steadily around you, but you and peter only cared about each other.
the two of you sat in comfortable silence, watching as sam teased his sister and as wanda was unsuccessfully trying to teach bucky how to use a pair of tongs. (bucky insisted that his vibranium hand could do the same job.)
“so, how many of those things have you eaten?” peter pointed his chin towards your empty plate.
“uh, approximately four.”
peter nodded approvingly. “four’s pretty good. you still hungry though? i could go for some food right now.”
you smiled evilly, untangling yourself from peter. “oh petie… i’m always hungry. i was skeptical at first, but damn, do these barbeque grilled fetuses hit. they’re gluten free, i think.” 
you stood up and yelled over the table to sam. “hey, are these things gluten free?” you pointed to where wanda and bucky were tussling over the grill.
sam looked at you incredulously. “no?” 
you turned back to peter. “well, you heard the man. at least they’re ethically sourced, though. better eat up quick, before roe v. wade gets overturned. fuck scotus.”
“yeah, fuck scotus. i’m all for womens’ sexual liberation. anyway, once you’re done, can you fuck me too?” peter deadpanned.
you choked. “oh, wow. you got me that time. i concede. i-”
--
“so, what’ja do for your art project?” you and peter were entwined on a common area armchair, you resting casually on peter’s lap with one hand pressed to his chest and peter’s arms pulling you even closer to his body.
“i made a collage of my feet pics.”
“huh.” you nuzzled your nose into the collar of peter’s shirt, taking a deep inhale of his cologne (his actual cologne, not his au naturale body odor). “for free?”
“what?” peter, much like everybody else in the room (who were all clearly listening but pretending not to.)
“i mean, you’re showing your feet pics for free? you’re spiderman, pete. you could charge so much for them. here, you can use my onlyfans account.” you began to pull out your phone.
“DAUGHTER?” tony roared from the couch diagonal to the two of you. whoops.
“…father?”
“can somebody tell me why my pure, uncorrupted, virtuous daughter is in the lap of a hormonal, horny teenage boy? god knows what the white sticky stuff actually is…” tony cursed under his breath. “and would somebody like to explain why the words onlyfans, peter parker, and feet pics are being used in the same sentence and coming out of my daughter’s mouth?” 
you cringed at all the innuendos (intentional and unintentional) that tony had just dropped in front of nearly the entire team.
bruce choked on the sandwich he was eagerly chowing into. natasha choked on air. wanda was biting back a mischievous smile and steve looked like he was about to faint.
bucky leaned over to sam and loudly whispered, “what’s an onlyfans?”
--
friday rolled around, which meant it was time for the avengers’ weekly family bonding event. this week, it was movie night. wanda and natasha were clapping enthusiastically as sam and bucky danced along to the jingle bell rock winter talent show performance, which meant you and peter could snuggle up to each other and converse freely without fear of being overheard.
peter’s head was in your lap, and you were mindlessly scratching and tugging at his curls as you smiled at your teammates’ antics. even from this odd, unflattering angle, peter couldn’t help but think you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. the television screen illuminated your face and made your eyes sparkle more than they usually did. and he had the perfect view of your lips—so soft, sensual, always containing such happiness, always begging to be kissed…
“hey bug?” you looked down at peter, smiling softly with the look you seemed to only reserve for him.
“hi,” peter whispered breathlessly, heart racing at the nickname. the corners of his eyes crinkled in the way that seemed to be only reserved for you.
“uh, this might be a- a little forward, but what are your weekend plans, ‘cause-”
“homicide.”
“excuse me?” you squinted at peter.
“you heard me. this weekend, i plan on committing homicide.”
you sniffed, a little disappointed in where the conversation had gone but willing to play along nevertheless.
“that’s it?”
“what do you mean, that’s it? what are you doing?”
you smirked deviously. “UR MOM!” you burst into a fit of giggles that peter found adorable, so he couldn’t stop himself from laughing with you.
“my mom- my mom’s dead!” he said through cackles.
the two of you looked at each other and only laughed harder, garnering the attention of the rest of the team. 
wanda opened her mouth to speak, but tony was too quick.
“alright, this has been going on for too long. peter, off of my daughter. daughter, off from… underneath the kid.” he cursed. “god, that sounds so wrong.”
“what?” you questioned, genuinely confused at what the issue was.
peter rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a warm pink crawling up his cheeks and to the tips of his ears.
“what? the problem is, you two are discussing matricide in front of a team of superheroes, not to mention practically dry-humping each other in a public space! not that it would be acceptable in a private space, but you get what i mean,” tony gritted.
“while we’re at it, can we talk about how your daughter has a stash of breast milk? and peter has menstrual blood? where do you even get the menstrual blood, peter?” natasha shook her head before gasping in horror. “it’s not- it’s not hers, is it?”
you waved your hands. “no, ew, gross! on the plus side, if it were hypothetically mine, that would mean i’m not pregnant.”
tony glared at you, finger in the air pointing shakily at your chest.
“okay, am i the only person who’s worried about the murder bit? because i’m pretty sure the kids were talking about cannibalizing dead fetuses at the party i threw last weekend—”
tony shrieked. “excuse me? you just said you weren’t pregnant, missy. where are you getting the fetuses from?”
“i said, hypothetically, but anyway-”
tony slapped himself in the face a few times. “god, this is why we need to stock up on condoms around here. do you guys even have sex ed in school? i don’t care if the two of you,” he waved a finger between you and peter, “are doing the deed—wait no, i do—but please tell me you’ve had the banana demonstration.”
“tony, i think the kids are quite a nice couple,” steve chimed in bravely. tony spun around and gave him a withering glare, but the supersoldier didn’t back down. “i said what i said. well, peter should definitely shower more, three weeks is criminally disgusting, but other than that, they’re good for each other.”
wanda nodded seriously. “i can hear both of them thinking about jumping each others’ bones every time i see them together. it’s kind of annoying, actually. so if you just let them fuck, my mind would greatly appreciate that.”
bruce sighed. “the sexual tension is so obvious that david attenborough doesn’t even need to narrate it for me to identify it. it’s like when those two whales were mating…”
tony dragged his hands down his face, overwhelmed. you and peter’s hands had found their way closer to each other, despite your bodies being a modest distance apart, and your pinkies intertwined reassuringly.
“care to explain?” tony waved his hands around. “the sexual tension bit? the cannibalism? the feet fetishes? just… anything?”
“it was a joke, i swear, mr. stark!” peter jabbered desperately. “it’s… a game we play. where we try and come up with the most ridiculous conversations and then just keep it going.”
you nodded furiously. “right! and i’m totally the winner. none of it was real. plus, friday would have alerted you if i ever made an onlyfans account.”
tony stroked his chin contemplatively. “so, the sexual tension bit? that was also a joke?”
peter opened his mouth, “ye-”
you opened your mouth, “no!”
the two of you gaped at each other.
“what we mean to say is, no, it’s not a joke! yes, there is… sexual tension.” you widened your eyes at peter pleadingly.
tony mumbled angrily to himself, pacing the room as the avengers watched the live-action reality tv unfold before them.
“is there really sexual tension between is?” peter hissed at you.
“uh, yeah. unless you were being serious about wanting to thoroughly fuck me and also fuck me after i went through the entire supreme court, then no, that would just be flat-out sexual.”
peter pursed his lips. “right, okay then. you’re right. there is sexual tension between us.”
you mock pouted. “so you’re saying you don’t want to thoroughly fuck me?”
peter turned bright red just as tony turned to the two of you, who had gotten much closer to each other in the time that he’d been worrying.
“gross! i’m getting secondhand cooties. whatever, you guys go have a play date or something. just… please be more classy than cady and aaron, dear god. the teenage foolery in this movie is actually-” tony shuddered, unable to express himself with words.
“i’m still interested in the property, y’know?” you whispered.
“well then, can i extend another real estate tour offer?”
“absolutely. and i will gladly take you up on that offer.”
you took peter’s hand, the two of you giggling madly as you raced and slipped down the hall towards your bedroom. you heard tony groaning and whining from the common room before he shouted, “keep it pg-13 in there!”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
peter parker masterlist | main masterlist
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smoll-tangerine · 2 years
Text
ten reasons why i hate you: reason #4
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SYNOPSIS. while you admittedly didn’t refuse the arranged marriage between you and jung jaehyun, that didn’t mean that you’d allow him to treat you like a doormat. for the emotional distress he had put you through during the months leading up to your engagement party, you ensure that he will pay for the way he had been treating you for the rest of his life. 
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PAIRING. rich boy!jaehyun x rich girl!reader GENRES. angst, drama, rich kid!au CHAPTER WORD COUNT. 3200
WARNINGS. none. 
DISCLAIMER. this is a work of fiction based on fictional events and characters. it is unrelated to any real people, organisations, locations, and events. the laws, and legal and medical interpretations in this work have also been modified for storytelling purposes.
TAGLIST. @moonchele @crescent-iak​ @ahtisa02 @ghostfacefricker6969 @jaehyunnie77 @jungish @anya-writes-stuff @hey-won @ishireads @neoculturetingz @xxxx-23nct​ @peachibevuti​ (bolded = unable to tag)
[a/n]: apologies for taking so long with this chapter!! i’ve been super busy the past two months and lowkey went through another writing burnout for putting out too many stuff at the same time. i hope this long chapter will make up for it. next chapterf will be the wedding! pls leave feedback and comments, they keep me motivated♡♡ 
and if you’d like to be part of the taglist, pls send me an ask! it’s easier for me to see and keep track as opposed to directly commenting since these get lost in notifs :)
← REASON #3 || MASTERLIST || REASON #5 →
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REASON #4
“How are you feeling?” 
You refrained yourself from scoffing at Doyoung’s seemingly harmless question as he drove you back to your place from the hospital (i.e. your penthouse at Yuta’s hotel). Although you were the one who came up with this ‘revenge’ plan, you were starting to regret your recklessness as the plan was slowly taking a toll on you and your mental health. 
“What do you think?” you replied with a small snark. 
Doyoung’s jaw slackened at your question, one that was meant to be rhetorical. But somehow, he decided to answer it regardless. 
“I think this is your worst idea so far.” 
You closed your eyes and leaned back against the headrest. “What? Beating out the fact that I let you break up with me? I would have thought that you’d think that that was my worst idea.” 
An awkward silence ensued as you brought back a fact that you and Doyoung seemed to have kept under wraps for a while. Even though it had been close to three years since you two broke up. 
Or should you say, got your ass dumped by Doyoung?
You wondered whether the bitterness hidden behind the tone of your voice was because you were, in some way, still not completely over the break-up, or because you were annoyed and hated how Doyoung acted as if he was still your significant other. Either way, both things were in the past. Both of you should move on. 
“Ignore what I just said,” you mumbled. “Let’s just leave bygones be bygones.” 
You didn’t miss how he tightened his hold around the steering wheel as the rest of the car ride was spent in utter silence. You thought that the conversation was over, and you were about to bid Doyoung goodbye until he suddenly pulled you back as you were about to leave his car. 
“We need to talk,” he said with an unwavering gaze. “About us, your engagement to Jaehyun—everything.” 
You hesitated the slightest. After all, what was there to talk about, really? But you found yourself to nod at his request. 
“Tonight,” you replied. “Let’s talk tonight, after the charity auction.”
You quickly headed up to your penthouse and immediately lied down on your bed the second you came back home, the hospital shifts and your engagement taking a toll on you.  
As your engagement progressed, you started developing a knack for pissing off your future husband whenever the opportunity arises. Unfortunately for you, Jaehyun was the same. The relationship between the two of you became a pissing contest, one that is always about one-upping the other. 
It made you wonder just how exactly would you be able to fool all the paparazzi that will be present at the famous Nakamoto Group’s charity auction, held annually at the hotel that you were stubbornly staying at to spite your parents. 
“You look like you’re constipated,” you muttered through your smile to Jaehyun, who truly did look like he was constipated as he was forced to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you close to fool the photographers who were gobbling up the scene. 
“God, I can’t wait for this to be over,” he replied, stuck with the same expression as you. 
With the pictures over, you were brought over to your table where the rest of your group of friends were also sitting. You greeted Jennie and Krystal with kisses on the cheek, and said hello to Taeyong and Johnny, then hugged Yuta and then Doyoung (whose seat was conveniently next to yours). 
Krystal didn’t fail to miss how awkward the interaction between you and Doyoung was and shot you an inquisitive look from across the table, to which you ignored. You quickly took a seat and perused through the list of auctioned items, hoping that nobody else was as perceptive as Krystal. 
Meanwhile, Jaehyun kept fidgeting in his seat and stole glances around the room. It was only due to his weird behaviour that you noticed that the seat on his other side was empty. You looked around the table and saw that all of your friends were present. So, who— 
Ah. 
Of course he had to keep a spot for his girlfriend, huh. 
You made a mental note to yourself to have a little talk with Yuta later. 
Chaeyoung finally arrived fifteen minutes later. She seemed breathless almost as if she ran over here, and quickly apologised for being late. Her hair was in disarray and her clothes were disheveled. You kept your face neutral and refrained yourself from making any comments. The last thing you wanted was to get in a fight with Jaehyun’s girlfriend. If he were to invite her, then the least that asshole could have done was to at least provide hair and makeup to her. 
However, Jaehyun seemed taken aback with her presence and stuttered as he asked her what she was doing at the event. Chaeyoung mirrored his expression. 
“I received the invitation by mail a couple of days ago, addressed to me from you,” she answered meekly. “I thought...” 
If Jaehyun didn’t invite her, then who did? 
You locked eyes with Yuta, who raised his glass of wine at you with a small smirk. 
Who else, if not the person responsible for the event?
You mentally sighed at his unnecessary action—you can fight your own battles. You didn’t even want to think how Jaehyun would react if he were to find out, or worse, think that you were the one who invited Chaeyoung. 
Besides, Jaehyun should know better—why on Earth would you invite the girl, when you didn’t even care for her or her existence? Not to mention the headache you already have from dealing with Jaehyun. 
However, the obvious glare and slackened jaw were all you needed to know that Jaehyun thought that it was you who orchestrated this whole thing. 
And while you didn’t really want to be blamed for something that you didn’t even do, you also didn’t want Yuta’s friendship with Jaehyun to sour even though you were pretty sure that Yuta could care less. He’d always been the kind of person who didn’t care about the consequences of his actions, even the ones that would burn bridges. 
The auction finally started after a few more minutes of waiting. A lot of rare items and art pieces went up for auction, but no one at your table raised their paddle number.
“Come on,” Yuta whined jokingly. “You guys are my friends—don’t embarrass me like this.”
“If you want us to spend some money, tell your employees to put up something that actually catches our attention,” Jennie huffed and waved her chequebook around. “You think I want to come out of a Nakamoto auction empty-handed?”
Jennie had a point. The Nakamoto Group’s charity auctions—while cannot be compared to the likes of Christie’s and Sotheby’s—would once in a while auction pieces that the two most famous auction houses couldn’t acquire. Judging by the glint in your friend’s eyes, you suspected that Yuta probably had something up his sleeve.
“Don’t worry,” Yuta reassured you all. “I made sure that you’d have to spend your money this time around.” He then turned to you with an accusing finger. “Including you and your picky taste.”
You shrugged. “Sue me for having expensive taste.”
“Your taste is on a whole other level of expensive,” Doyoung said with a small chuckle.
“Oh, my God, yes!” Krystal gasped. “Remember when Doyoung got you a Montblanc Papillon Limited Edition of their Bohème fountain pen for your birthday? How much was it already?”
“I think each of them fetches for around $200 000 nowadays?” Taeyong said.
Chaeyoung choked at Taeyong words and exclaimed, “$200 000 for a fountain pen? Are you all mad? Why on Earth would you give someone such an expensive gift? Not to mention when you could buy any other fountain pen for way cheaper? Or you know, just a regular pen?”
You cleared your throat, hoping the dissipate the slight tension caused by Chaeyoung’s words. Neither of your friends expected Chaeyoung to understand how you all manage your money. However, they also didn’t expect her to judge them for it either.
“Well, it’s the thoughts that count,” you answered with a tight smile and attempted to explain why a fountain pen would cost so much. “But, when Montblanc came out with that specific limited edition, only six of them were created in total. Hence, the price.”
Yuta snorted. “If you think that’s expensive for a fountain pen, wait until you hear that it’s not even the most expensive one that exists.”
“Up next is the Heaven Gold Fountain Pen created by Canadian Anita Mai Tan of ALGems,” the auctioneer then said to his mic.
Your jaw slightly dropped at the news and you turned to a very smug-looking Yuta who motioned your bag, where your chequebook had been left untouched.
“Time to pull it out, I believe,” he said with a small wink.
“The Heaven Gold Fountain Pen drew inspiration from the changing alignments of the planets, an event that occurs only approximately every 500 years. This pen is constructed from pristine 24k rose gold, with its most remarkable feature being its cap—with its crest composed of 161 coloured diamonds that encircle a rare Tsavorite gemstone. A 5-petaled flower, a diamond, and a heart shape align to cascade down the pen clip. A total of 1888 diamonds are displayed on the Heaven Gold Fountain Pen.”
“Yuta, how on Earth were you even able to get this?” Taeyong asked in disbelief.
“Only 8 models of the Heaven Gold Fountain Pen were created,” the auctioneer continued. “Due to its feminine symbols and pink coloured gold body, this writing instrument is said to be designed by a woman for women.”
“Close your mouth, you’re practically drooling,” Doyoung whispered to you, unable to hide his laugh.
But before you could even retort, Krystal jumped in and dragged Jaehyun into the conversation (who, admittedly, you forgot was even there because of how silent he was). “Hey Jae, why don’t you get that for your fiancée as a wedding gift?”
Jaehyun who was silent from the beginning remained stoic as ever. You wondered if it was even possible for him to be quieter. His silence created an awkward tension. You were about to come to his defense when Doyoung decided to interject.
“It might be a little bit outside of Jaehyun’s budget,” Doyoung commented offhandedly. “Don’t force a man to buy something if he can’t afford it.”
Perhaps mentioning money (or his family’s) was a sore spot for Jaehyun. Although your circle was among the top 1% of the country, Jaehyun’s was in a way, the poorest of you all. It was no fault of his as the pharmaceutical industry and its modernisation was relatively new, and it was also no secret to any one in your circle that his family was desperate for a partnership with yours. 
They simply didn’t know that Jaehyun hated your guts with a passion. They probably knew who Chaeyoung was, but they probably didn’t expect him to still be with her while getting engaged then married to you.
“I can afford it,” Jaehyun grunted.
“Then why the hesitation?” Doyoung refuted back with a smirk.
You only sighed and took a sip of wine as you waited for the auctioneer to state the starting bid price. You could tell that the others (minus Chaeyoung) were enjoying the back-and-forth between the two men sitting at your sides, but honestly—
Didn’t they know that you could afford to buy the fountain pen yourself?
“Let’s start with $500 000.” 
Without hesitation, Jaehyun raised his bidding paddle, followed by Doyoung who raised the bid price to $550 000. You gave Yuta an exasperated look, silently asking him if he was happy with the situation, to which he simply snickered and continued to enjoy the scene that was happening in front of him. 
The back-and-forth between Jaehyun and Doyoung went on for a while, until the price for the fountain pen was raised up to $950 000. You puckered your lips in ponderation, knowing that the pen is originally valued at approximately $995 510. You then sneaked a look at your opponents who, at the beginning seemed very adamant in buying the pen, but were now starting to look very hesitant as the bid price slowly getting closer to the seven figures. 
You scoffed and rolled your eyes at them.
Men. 
“One million dollars!” Jaehyun burst out as he waved his bidding paddle around. 
You swore you could see Yuta’s eyes glint in pure delight. Not only was the charity auction he organised raising a lot of money, he had the front-row seat to the most amusing dogfight he had ever seen in his life, all that without barely lifting his pinky. 
A million dollars for a mere fountain pen. 
While you didn’t question whether Jaehyun could actually afford that pen or not (you were certain that he could), you also didn’t want your wedding gift from your, albeit detestable, fiancé (your fiancé, nonetheless) to be one that was given due to peer pressure. 
Your feelings aside for Jaehyun, wouldn’t anyone want to receive a wedding gift that was sincere and from the giver’s heart? 
But you also had a gut feeling that Jaehyun would come to regret his purchase. Even if you were all heirs and heiresses, not all of you carried that much money around, perhaps aside for you, Yuta, Doyoung, and Jennie. 
And your gut feeling proved to be right when you saw the way Jaehyun bit his upper lip out of nervousness and the way his eyes shifted anxiously at the number of extra zeroes. 
You sighed through your nose and lifted your bidding paddle. 
As much as you hated to admit, it wasn’t easy for you to be rid of your feelings for Jaehyun. After all, wasn’t there a fine line between love and hate? 
“Two million dollars,” you stated calmly as the room buzzed at your bid. 
Were you overbidding? 
Perhaps. 
But anything to stop this ridiculous pissing contest between your ex and your fiancé. 
“Two million dollars for bidder #27!” the auctioneer exclaimed. “Anyone want to bid $2.5 million? Going once. Going twice. And sold! For bidder #27. Congratulations!” 
Your whole table applauded at your new purchase, with Yuta pretending to tip a hat in thanks as your bid brought him in a lot of money. Given how happy your friend looked, you supposed that your talk can be postponed to another time. 
The charity auction eventually ended, and true to your promise, you and Doyoung had your talk as he walked you back to your penthouse. 
“There’s nothing else to say, really,” you told him as you two got off from the elevator. “Our relationship was over years ago.” 
But Doyoung didn’t seem to share the same views. 
“You know that I never wanted us to break up,” he told you almost sternly. “But–” 
“But, what?” you cut him off. “But what, Kim Doyoung? I should have moved with you to Germany?”
He slowly fell silent and seemed to hesitate to speak up. When he was finally able to put his thoughts into words, Doyoung refrained himself from talking again when he noticed that you two weren’t alone anymore. 
You followed his line of vision and was slightly surprised to find Jaehyun standing in the middle of your penthouse. You raised a questioning brow at him, not mad that he was there, just evidently very shocked, but Jaehyun seemed to have misinterpreted your look. 
“Y-Yuta gave me access,” Jaehyun quickly stuttered out. 
His presence aside, why on Earth would Jaehyun want to come see you at your place? Especially without looking like he wanted to get in a fight with you. The whole situation seemed awfully suspicious to you, but you figured you’ll entertain him a little. 
“S-should I come back at another time?” he asked awkwardly and spared a glance at Doyoung who, to his credit, managed to keep his annoyance in check. 
“It’s fine,” Doyoung replied with a tight smile and turned to you. “Let’s talk at the hospital tomorrow during our lunch break.” 
You hesitantly nodded and sent him off. 
“So.” Jaehyun cleared his throat awkwardly. “You and Doyoung, huh?” 
You raised a skeptical brow at him as you threw your bag on the sofa. “It’s old news and everyone in our circle knew about it.” You paused. “I’m surprised you didn’t.” 
“I met Doyoung when he was studying in Germany.” 
“Ah.” 
A painfully awkward silence befell upon the two of you. Although you were secretly grateful that, for once, your conversation with Jaehyun wasn’t one that led the two of you to either argue with each other, you didn’t like the fact that he entered your personal space—crossed your boundaries—without permission. 
“Why are you here, Jaehyun?” you asked with a tired sigh. “What do you want?” 
He seemed taken aback with your blunt attitude, but for once he didn’t refute back with the same spite. Instead, he rubbed the back of his neck and explained, “I was originally going to confront you about inviting Chaeyoung–” 
You heaved another irritated sigh. “I didn’t invite her–” 
“I know!” he exclaimed. “I know. Yuta told me everything.” 
Well, what do you know. Yuta does know what guilt felt like. 
Knowing your friend, it was probably due to your generous purchase that he spilled everything to Jaehyun. It made you wonder how he would have reacted if you didn’t bid for the fountain pen. But you learned not to look a gift horse in the mouth. 
“I see,” was your only answer. 
You glanced at your watch. It was close to midnight and you had an early shift tomorrow. 
“Is that all? If so, then I’m not going to walk you out. I have an early morning tomorrow and I need a shower.” 
But to your utmost surprise, Jaehyun didn’t budge. He looked like he had more to say but he kept fidgeting in his spot, like a little shaky lamb. 
Were you that scary? 
“You... have something else to say?” you asked in what you hoped to be a softer tone. 
Sure, you were on a warpath to destroy Jaehyun, but you weren’t a monster. 
“...Thank you,” he finally said, “for earlier.” 
You tilted your head in slight confusion. 
“Doyoung’s comment– It’s not the first time that I’ve heard comments like that,” he admitted. “And it got to me. I got a bit hotheaded and got into something that would have left me in deep shit with my father if it wasn’t for your help, so... Thank you.” 
You refrained yourself from looking too surprised at Jaehyun’s words and wordlessly nodded at them. It seemed to be enough for Jaehyun who then extended his hand for you to shake. 
“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he said and smiled at you. “I’m Jaehyun.” 
An olive branch. 
Would you really be a monster for refusing to take it, though? 
“Nice to meet you,” you said after introducing yourself. 
Guess you’ll figure it out soon enough. 
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← REASON #3 || MASTERLIST || REASON #5 →
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rhaenyras · 7 months
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I’m a cisgender bisexual woman and sex worker, and I’ve been dating a wonderful man for the past eight months. Everything is perfect: He’s smart, handsome, cares for me and we have an amazing time together. He even cut ties off with his parents when they insulted me because I am a sex worker. Everything feels right. Except that he berates me for my job.
I began doing sex work three years ago to help pay for university. I’m estranged from my family, and I’ve never had any financial help, everything I want and need I provide for myself. I used to bust my ass working multiple jobs at once to pay for school, food, and rent, but sex work has allowed me to increase my income while also exploring my sexuality.
My boyfriend has known that I do sex work since our first date, and he said he was okay with it then. But lately, he’s been making some really shitty comments. It started subtly: “Do you actually enjoy doing sex work?”, “You will catch many STI”, and “Don’t you worry about how it’s going to affect your future?” to “I don’t get why you have to do this,” and “Your body shouldn’t be for other people, it should be for me.” Recently, he confessed it makes him “sick” to think about me with other people. When I tell him that these comments hurt me, he responds by saying that my work hurts him because he felt “humiliated.”
I’m hurt and confused by all this. He’s making me feel ashamed when I actually love what I do. I don’t want to quit sex work, but I don’t want to lose him either. Do I have to leave my boyfriend or my job? What should I do? Many of my sisters, brothers, friends and mentors have been sex workers. Almost everything of value that I know I have learned from sex workers. And I have lost many dear people to whorephobia and anti-sex worker hatred and violence.
hmm i wish i had a clear coincise answer for you but the truth is you have to ultimately decide for yourself and choose what you would miss the most in the aftermath of your choice. if your partner offered to provide for you so that you never have to work in that field again, and you also get to be with him, would you be happy? would you retire with a light heart? would your relationship with him go back to normal so easily and immediately? are you even sure that you quitting sex work would make things alright again between you two? if sex work is just a means of sustenance for you then you could try bringing up this scenario when you're talking to him but the thing is i don't think you see sex work as being just a source of income in your life. it seems like sw is so much more than that to you. it sounds like you were able to find a sense of community and bodily autonomy through sex work. so i dont think you could just shrug it off, move on and leave it behind you, even if you somehow found the way to pay rent and live comfortably without it.
and i also think that jealousy is human when love is involved. your man probably didn't think much of it when you first told him on your first date because he didn't feel too strongly about you back then, but then he caught feelings and so of course his views about what you do started to also change. i dont blame him, i just think he was naive not to predict that this would happen sooner or later. he definitely overestimated his own open-mindedness.
are you certain that he won't hold sex work against you for the rest of your life, even if you end up quitting for his sake? won't he always be lowkey bitter and passive aggressive that you slept with other people for a prolonged chunk of your relationship? only you can know the answers to these questions. and if you don't, then you should definitely bring them to his attention.
personally i wouldn't tell a woman to quit her education or career over a man, so I don't see why it should be any different with you just because your career happens to be sex work.
but you are the only person who ultimately knows just how much you'd miss this man if he broke up with you over this. because that's a very real possibility at this point. i truly don't envy you or the dilemma you're tackling right now and I'm aware I've raised more questions than I've answered, but i deeply hope you can sort it out and emerge from this dilemma holding what you cherish the most, whether it be the man or your career 💖
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thealexchen · 3 years
Text
Highlights of the Katy and Erika Q&A
Link to the Q&A! https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1161022793 
- Erika’s first audition with a scene partner was with Han Soto (Gabe)! Neither of them had gotten their parts yet, but Han still called “I’ll see you on set!” over his shoulder as he was leaving. Erika also said that he was a wonderful mentor figure and also someone who gave her a lot of shit, like an older brother would.
- THEY ANSWERED MY QUESTION!!! 😭 I had asked, "Since you were working on this game for several years, how do you think your performance or skills as an actor changed over time as you got to know your character better?"
Erika explained that in an early callback, she had to act out Gabe’s death scene and got into the moment by imagining that her little brother Evan had died. Later on she realized that it wasn’t healthy or sustainable to go to such dark places mentally over and over: “It's great to bring your lived experience in but not at the at the level of sacrificing your own health.” She later referred to the Lucid Body Technique invented by a dancer named Fay Simpson that she learned while on an acting retreat in Creed, CO (”Fun fact, Creed is actually a small mining town that was saved by theater!”). Instead of calling up traumatic memories, Erika focused on where that emotion “lives” in her body, accessed them safely, and was able to bring herself back to the present moment. Katy also mentioned she studied the technique in college. All super interesting stuff!
- Han pulled so many pranks on set that Webb (performance director) and Corwin (mocap producer) forced him to limit it to “one prank per day... on Erika.” He managed to jumpscare her every time and when she tried to get him back, “He didn’t even blink. I was like ‘What the fuck is going on?”
- Alex evolved a lot over the course of writing the game. Apparently the first iteration of Alex was a lot more like Chloe-- very bitter, brittle and with a lot of repressed anger-- but that got softened as they developed Alex’s power and as Erika brought more of herself to the performance.
- Apparently Gabe’s death scene was fun to film because when Gabe got knocked off the cliff, Erika got pulled in a sled to simulate Alex being pulled toward the edge while tied to Gabe. So they did a million takes of that and Erika just got to sit in a sled. Meanwhile Katy was at a butterfly garden down the street.
- Another fun scene (apparently) was when Alex fell down the mineshaft at the end of chapter 4 and the beginning of chapter 5, as Erika describes: “They basically rigged me up to a swing, like a sex swing-- not a sex swing. I mean, I walked in and I think that was my first question. I was like ‘Is that a sex swing? What are we filming today? I didn’t get these scripts.’” Cue the chat going insane.
What actually happened was she hung onto a board and two pulleys dropped on either side of her so she fell onto a crash pad. Apparently Webb practiced before and “really bruised the shit out of his ribs.”
- The “The crowd is really picking up on my energy. Haaaaa we love you Alex! Haaaaa Steph sucks!” line during the foosball game was entirely improvised by Erika, just having fun on set. Erika also admits she’s very chatty and just enjoyed getting to know her castmates so that they were already all friends when they acted together.
- Webb sent Han and Erika on a day trip to Idaho Springs early in production to bond and of course Han suggested they go gambling (Erika added, “Which of course is something that Gabe would do! Like ‘Let’s go do something sinful.”) They also played with Han’s drone. Katy went to see one of Erika’s plays in Colorado!
- When asked about what Erika would do if she had Alex’s powers: “I think it would be a cool power too because there’s so much covering that happens with all of us in social settings and professional settings. And being able to have insight into what’s really going on would probably create the need to be a much a kinder, generous, forgiving person, which are things that I’m always working on. I don’t think you could not become that.”
- Erika on Asian representation in True Colors: "[Alex is] not the best friend, she's not the tiger mom, she's her own fully realized, three dimensional person with flaws and goals and dreams and things she wished she could do over again. And I think that, for me, as somebody who grew up not seeing people who looked like me in movies-- and that's why Lucy Liu was such a fucking huge deal-- but the fact that D9 didn't do it in a tropey way was incredible. I know how important that Alex is a woman of color. She doesn't fit the mold of typical video game female bodies either, which I think is amazing."
- Erika lowkey hated the mocap suits. She couldn’t understand why Katy didn’t mind them and said “Katy. Katy. Katy.” “No it was so comfy it was like I was in my jammies!” “I remember you said that and I was like ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?! This is not comfortable!’”
- Erika’s advice to aspiring creatives: “Don’t let the fear of being bad at something stop you.”
- E: “I feel like I've been talking a lot" K: “This is your interview!" E: “Yeah I know but your voice is better.” K: “What?! MA’AM. MA’AM??”
- When Erika and Katy talk about teleportation as a superpower: “Or like when you wake up in the middle of the night and you have to pee, like ‘Should I just pee my pants? Or should I walk to the-- it’s just so far.”
- When Erika mentioned she grew up with a Golden Retriever the chat went “RYAN THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER”
- Erika’s closing remarks: I cannot wait for y’all to play the DLC because Wavelengths is gonna be the shit. And I’m gonna tell you why! Because it’s all about Steph! Which means it’s all about Katy! It’s gonna be so fucking good you guys. It’s gonna be beautiful. It’s gonna be funny. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll want to live in Haven Springs even more. You’ll want to marry Katy Bentz. What more could you ask for?? K: Could you be my hype woman forever please?
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Text
Limp Noodle ~ S.H.
A/n: I have never once been good at making choices so I’ll be doing both OOF! This request is dirt old but whatever. I’m actually writing requests now look at me go!
Request: “...prompt 20 or 21 Steve Harrington x clumsy male reader” by anon
#20 (here): “I can’t do this without you”
#21: “Guess who broke their nose! Me. It’s me. I broke my nose.”
Word Count: 2000+
MASTERLIST
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“Are you SURE that this is a good idea?” The words came from Y/n as Steve parked the car, waving through the windshield window at Jonatan, Nancy, Robin and a new friend, Bianca. They’d all decided on a triple date and like idiots they’d let Steve, Bianca, and Nancy decide so they were now all headed on a hike. Robin was the least athletic of all of them and hated exercise of any kind. Jonathan was the one in the group who hated being outside in the sun and much preferred being inside cuddled on the could other swaddled in bed. Y/n... well Y/n was the single most clumsy person you’ve ever met.
Now, take whatever image that popped in your head when I said that and then make it ten times worse. Then take THAT mental image and multiply by it by ten AGAIN. Y/n was worse. He was absolutely sure he was going to thrip and fall over the side of some steep hill and fully die. He would be lucky to make it out of this trip without a stick going through his eye. Y/n and the outdoors didn’t mix. They never had. He could barely walk, let alone when it was uphill and outside and humid and hard to breathe and everyone was so beautiful and distracting.
Steve didn’t agree with that analysis.
“This is a great idea actually,” Steve decided with complete confidence. “Don’t worry about it okay? You’ll be fine.”
“Incorrect,” Y/n Aries immediately. “We started dating because I tripped seven times and you caught me every single one. I tripped seven times in three days Steve - and that was just the, what, one hour a day you’re with me? In THREE HOURS I TRIPPED SEVEN TIMES!” He was whisper yelling, getting rather heated. “I’m going to knock my head into a tree and bleed out.”
Steve laughed. He reached over, taking his boyfriend’s hands. “Do you trust me?”
Y/n’s shoulders sagged. “That is a cheap trick, Harrington.”
In response Steve only raised his eyebrows. When Y/n refused to answer, Steve sighed. “Y/n. Do you trust me?”
Closing his eyes a second, Y/n held in a sigh. When he opened them again, he managed a small smile. “Yeah. I trust you.” Steve went to get out of the car and Y/n caught his wrist. “Just promise you’re going to stay with me okay? I can’t do this without you. I’m serious.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Come on Drama King.” They both got out and made their way over to the other four.
“Hey guys!” Nancy greeted warmly. She had calmed a lot since Y/n had first met her. Darkened. But she was still pleasant enough, and Y/n tolerated her for Steve. He didn’t know why they were all friends after Nancy’s brutal ripping up Steve’s heart but... he expected it was that trauma bonding things that Steve and Robin refused to ever talk about with Y/n in the room.
“Hey bestie.” Robin winked at Y/n and he felt himself relax. Around her he always felt more comfortable. She got him on a much deeper level than Steve did. She had actually been the one to set them up after failure after failure of Steve’s attempts on girls who came to the ice cream shop they met at originally. It had gone up in flames recently, but they’d snagged a job at a movie store so they still worked together. Y/n was pretty sure neither of them would have it any other way, even if they sometimes pretended to hate each other.
“Hey loser,” Y/n joked back. Robin shoved him and he laughed, accidentally ramming into Jonathan as his feet almost came out underneath him. “Sorry,” Y/n mumbled.
Robin scoffed in amusement. “I always forget you have two backward feet.” This was something she said often, in reference to the popular statement of ‘two left feet’. One day Robin had proclaimed that Y/n was something worse than two left feet, and then being backward had kicked off as an inside joke.
“I’d you have that problem standing still, how do you think you’re going to do on a hike?” It seemed Bianca was trying to get in on the joking, but it hit a hard cord with Y/n.
He wasn’t in the mood to joke. “What can I say? Great day to die.” He put on the fakest smile ever. “Come on everyone!” Then he began to surge ahead, onto the trail, and the others scrambled to catch up.
It didn’t tale long for Nancy and Bianca to hit the head of the trail. Steve dutifully stayed by Y/n, but he watched the girls head with a sort of forlorness. Because Y/n was so slow and Jonathan and Robin lagged even behind him, the two girls in front were racing up and down the steep sides of the path they were on, jumping over logs and hopping up on stumps to make the path harder. They were laughing hard and having a great time. Y/n knew that Steve desperately wanted to join them.
What kind of a boyfriend would Y/n be to stop him? “Go on,” Y/n sighed, nudging Steve forward encouragingly.
Steve looked at Y/n with an expression that tried far too hard at innocence to succeed. It was so obvious he was full of crap that Y/n was rolling his eyes before the brunette even spoke. “What? What do you mean? I’m having a great time with my boyfriend which was the point of this whole thing. Have I bored you already?”
“No, but I’ve bored you. Go and do parkour with the bad ass chicks up there. Go on.” Steve hesitated, but when Y/n shot him a look, he finally did speed ahead to catch up and join in the unnecessary shenanigans that gave Y/n extreme anxiety just imagining himself doing. He sighed watching Nancy and Steve. He knew that things were WAY over between them, but Y/n found a little jealousy in the way they worked together so fluidly. They were perfect for each other - even as friends. She just kept up with him and challenged him in a way that Y/n never could, and Steve thrived.
Slowing down in his moment of annoyance, Robin and Jonathan caught up to him. “Welcome to the world of those who have to sit back and wonder why they’re not still dating,” Jonathan sighed. His voice was as laced with bitterness as Y/n’s thoughts were.
“They’re so complimentary,” Y/n complained.
“You could argue that you guys are the same,” Robin pointed out. “You both hate doing anything outside or away from home. You both love reading and photography. I mean Y/n’s incredible view of the world allows him to be a great writer, but it also connects you two. Writing and photography aren’t far from each other and you prod that every day. Nancy can’t slow down enough to appreciate things like Jonathan does, and we all know Steve is no reader.” She chuckled. “And we’ll never know how awkward and snappy got buff and pretty.”
Jonathan and Y/n smiled at that. “Imagine another world where Nancy and Steve stayed together. Then maybe you and me would have-“ suddenly he lost his words as he tripped, and Jonathan reached out to catch him. The two boys busted up laughing. “That’s the second I have to say both sorry and thank you for your reflexes Mr. Byers.”
“Ah anytime. That’s what friends do. Share interests and talk about alternative world where they’re dating and catch each other when they almost die.”
That made Y/n laugh harder.
Suddenly there was a very unpleasant thump and a scream. The three in the back snapped their attention to the three ahead and saw Nancy and Bianca freeze and look back at Steve, who had landed on the ground. His hands had risen to cover his face, and he slowly turned on his side, curling in on himself. It seemed like he’d misstepped at some point and tripped and fallen.
Perhaps Y/n shouldn’t have been the one they worried about on this trip...
-
When they finally got Steve to the hospital, it was a mess. There had been blood everywhere, and Y/n’s weirdly good driving had saved the day in a pinch once again. They’d gotten there quickly and in one piece without getting pulled over.
Only an hour later they were given news. Steve came out with the skin around his nose already bruised and puffy. “Guess Who broke their nose,” he mocked in a song songey voice.
“Me?” Y/n joked.
“Me!” Steve agreed, pointing at himself. “It’s me. I broke my nose.” He slung an arm over Y/n’s shoulders and the other four covered their mouths to hide laughs. People wouldn’t be forgiving in public if it got out that the two men were dating, so they were trying to be lowkey.
The Doctor came over behind Steve. “He’ll be fine. I’ve given him direction son how to ice it and even given him some pain killers to help with the next few hours. But it is just a broken nose, so nothing too severe.”
“Thanks,” Y/n told the Doctor. They left then, everyone heading home. Y/n designated himself in charge of caring for Steve, and called his parents to let them know that Steve ‘got tired’ after the hike and totally knocked out. They didn’t mind, liking that Steve was actually spending time with other kids again, so it went without too much problem.
As Y/n was tucking Steve into bed, Steve caught his hand to still him. “I love you.”
Y/n’s eyes widened. They hadn’t said that yet but... well, if hypotheticals with Jonathan had taught anything today, it was that Y/n was glad he was in this version of things, even if it was a little more complicated this way. So he meant it when he replied, “I love you too Stevie.”
Steve glared. “Not Jonathan?”
“Jon-“ Y/n’s deep confusion cleared as he realized what had been happening right when Steve had tripped. Jonathan and Y/n had been close. Laughing. Talking. Touching. “Oh my god Harrington did you break your nose because you were being a jealous idiot?”
“Maybe,” Steve grumbled, looking away.
Y/n laughed, gently tugging on his chin so their eyes met again. “Please sweetheart, you can’t get rid of me that easily. Me and my two backward feet are going to plague you for the rest of our lives.”
Steve’s eyes got very soft. “Do you really mean that?”
Getting sincere, Y/n leaned down and kissed Steve’s forehead. “Stephen Harrington, I’ve never meant anything more. I know we can’t get married or anything, or even date publicly, but... I don’t care. And maybe that’s some really forward thinking and we haven’t been dating that long, but I fell... a LOT of times in my life. It only made sense that the first time someone ever caught me, it was you. And it made me realize that I was gifted with my two backward feet so that one day I’d fall for you.”
Steve groaned. “That was painfully cheesy.”
“Okay, okay,” Y/n dismissed, rolling his eyes. The sweet moment was completely ruined.
“No seriously I would break my nose again before hearing that-“
Y/n reached over, turning the light off before climbing into bed with Steve. “Shut up Harrington, or I WILL break your nose again.”
Steve laughed before pulling Y/n close so they could fall asleep curled up with each other. “My cheesy, dumb, clumsy boy,” Steve mused quietly.
That made Y/n scoff. “If either of ya is the dumb in this relationship it’s YOU, Harrington.”
“Shut up,” Steve whispered. It was quiet a while before he finally followed up with, “I’d like that future with you too.”
To hide his smile, Y/n mumbled, “Good night Stevie.”
After a second, Steve replied, “Good night, Y/n.” And for now, that was the end of it.
848 notes · View notes
pennylanewrites · 3 years
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*Smile*
minors dni!
description: Armin Arlert loves sweet, innocent things, especially when he can ruin them with his very own sickening sweetness.
pairings: Armin Arlert x gn! reader
word count: 2.4k
contains: smut duh, modern au, private college richboy armin, mild obsession with reader, oral (male receiving), use of the word ‘whore’, like one slap, unprotected sex (nothing spills inside dw), lowkey manipulation (what else y’all expected from armin?)
!!reader is afab(assigned female at birth), gender neutral and of legal age (around their 2nd year of college)!!
)^o^(
Whatever Armin Arlert wanted, Armin Arlert got. Cars, VIP seats, answers to exams, anything you can imagine. Being one of the most well-respected alumni of Paradis Institute's only son definitely had its advantages.
Girls and boys begged for a chance to be noticed by Armin Arlert, who wore his Prefect pin proudly and monitored the halls with his head high, but to no avail. Armin had long forgotten about sex, he found it appalling and unnecessary, unless it was with you.
You, who walked with your head high just like him. You, who would talk with classmates and wonder why they sprinted away as soon as the Prefect turned a corner. You, who could swear you heard a few camera clicks every time you used the communal showers. You, who despite being beautiful and charming, could not get a significant other for the life of you. Yes, your classmate, Armin had made sure the only person available to you would be himself; the handsome, smart and rich Prefect.
"Can I help you, Arlert?" Were the only words you spoke to him when he entered the science lab you were trying to work in.
"Am I bothering you, ___ ? I can leave." You took one look at his big, ocean blue eyes and sighed, taking your glasses off.
"No, sorry."
"Rough day? I'm sure it's nothing a massage can't solve." He offered, walking around the table you were working on and immediately placing his hands on your stiff shoulders. You shrugged them off quickly and faced the other way.
"Are you sure you don't want a massage from the person paying for your scholarship?" He whispered in a low voice, which would be very attractive if you weren't intimidated by him. You gulped and nodded, allowing him to happily massage your shoulders and upper back.
"I heard you're having a hard time with the new lecture."
"I-I do." You tried withholding a pleased sigh. The massage was definitely working.
"Be at my dorm around seven. I'll help you with it, ___." Armin left with a polite smile and bow of his head, leaving you to wonder how he looked so sweet yet acted so bitter.
At seven sharp, you stood outside of Armin Arlert's dormitory, patting your hair down, fixing your shirt underneath your uniform pants and looking around nervously. With a deep breath, you finally knocked on the wooden door, which was opened almost immediately.
"Come in, ___!" Armin's face lit up the moment he saw you and he stepped away for you to enter his room. A kitchenette, a double bed, a desk and a bookcase filled all the space, just like every other dorm on campus. And as you set your books on the desk, you could have sworn you caught a glimpse of tiles, running water and a nude person as the lock screen on his laptop, which he was quick to close before you took another look.
"Would you like a coffee, ___?"
"Yes, please."
It was getting past ten and your head could barely stand up on its own. You leaned back on the chair and stretched your arms out, yawning into one of them. Armin noticed and closed your book, his hand lingering on it.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" ,he exclaimed and opened a drawer, "I have some flash cards for you!"
"Oh, it's not necessa–"
"I insist." He said firmly and looked through some neatly filed papers. Once again, your eye caught a few pictures of someone's back profile and you could swear they had the same lower back tattoo as you. You, however, dismissed it once again. Boys tend to have pictures of pornstars, right?
Flipping through the flash cards, a picture fell out and Armin rushed to pick it up before you could. This time, however, it was loud and clear that the person in those photos was you taking a shower. At the time, you didn't know that all those pictures were set up on purpose. For you to see and become vulnerable in front of Armin Arlert.
"Armin, what's that?" Your voice came out in a hoarse whisper instead of the clear and stern tone you were planning on.
"Just something I'm planning on posting on the college's site tonight." He grinned.
"Wh-what? Why would you–"
"I don't know, ___. You tell me." He leaned closer to you, holding his weight on the arms of your chair. His blond hair fell over his eyes, making it the perfect shade of dark blue under the shadows.
"I have to go." You said sheepishly and started picking your books up, but an arm around your waist stopped you.
"Why do you keep on resisting me, ___?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I want you. And you want me too, right?"
     You were confused. Heartbroken. You always thought of Armin as nothing else than your classmate. So, what was this sudden urge to lock your lips with his?
     Looking up, you were met with a dark look in his eyes and a grin that seemed almost evil. You knew deep down he had dark intentions, but at the same time, you needed to know what those intentions were.
“I’ve never seen you wearing a skirt or a dress...you always act so modest, but the way you touch yourself so desperately in the shower...” his hand ghosted over your clothed thigh and stopped at your hip, “you just want to get fucked like a whore, right?”
“A-Armin...”
“Why don’t you put a little show for me? Undress yourself.” He sat on his chair and opened his legs, shamelessly showing off the tent in his uniform pants.
With a blush decorating your cheeks and a trembling bottom lip at the embarrassment suddenly hitting you, you slowly unbuttoned your white dress shirt and let it drop on the floor. Kicking the Oxford shoes your school required off, your hands made way to the side zipper on your pants. This time, your eyes locked with Armin’s as your pants dropped on the floor next to your shirt.
“Those too, doll.” He ordered, referring to your underwear. His demanding tone went straight between your legs, which you rubbed together in an attempt for some friction. You quickly unclasped your bra and removed your underwear, but before you could do anything else, Armin extended his arm and pulled you closer to him. With his arms around your waist, his forehead came in contact with your lower stomach, taking in the sight before his eyes with a deep breath.
“On your knees.”
You did as he said and watched his hands, decorated with a few gold rings and a bracelet, unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. Pushing his boxers down slightly, his member spurted out and hit his lower abdominals. Chuckling at your wide eyes, he led your hand to his cock.
“Consider this a thanks for your scholarship.” He leaned back on the chair, one hand behind his head and the other gripping your hair. You nodded and brought your mouth closer, licking on the tip that dripped with precum. As one of your hands massaged his balls and your mouth started taking more of his length in, a few groans escaped Armin’s lips and the grip on your hair tightened. But he had had enough. Both of his hands found your hair and pushed your head down, earning a gag at the sudden contact of his tip with your throat. You swore you could hear the smirk in his groans as your tongue worked around his length while he pushed your head up and down rapidly.
“Just like that...good...take it all.” You would be lying if you said his words didn’t make you rub your thighs together, desperate for something, anything to fulfill your need.
Before you could lead one of your hands between your legs, warm ropes of cum hit the back of your throat. Armin thrusted in your mouth a couple more times, milking his orgasm and overstimulating himself enough that a few more drops of the hot liquid joined your saliva. Removing himself with a squelch, he grazed his thumb over your bottom lip.
“Good. Swallow like the whore you are.” You did as he said, your eyesight blurry and your head dizzy from the facefucking you just went through. Without wasting another minute, Armin got up, pulling you with him and leaving a rough, needy kiss on your swollen lips. With a knee spreading your legs and rubbing right at your core, he kissed down your neck and collarbones, allowing you to let out the most quiet moans.
“Look at you. At this rate, you’re gonna get off using my leg.” You could only respond with a hum as he tackled you on his bed, not wasting any time in taking his clothes off before getting on top of you. His hands roamed your curves and yours stayed around his neck, fidgeting with the gold chain around it. A sudden moan escaped your lips when two of Armin’s fingers scissored your slit open and entered with ease. His eyes fixated on your face; the way your lips trembled and your eyes rolled back with every pump of his slender fingers, oh how he wished he could spend every second of the day looking at you like this; so sweet, so vulnerable, almost too innocent, yet so perfect for him to ruin.
“Please, Armin...’m gonna-”
“Aww, too bad.” He removed his fingers and laughed at your disappointed face, which soon turned into a surprised one when he grabbed both your legs and placed them over his shoulders. You both let out a gasp when his pink tip entered your hole. Armin was not like anyone you’ve been with. He didn’t care about letting you adjust to his girth, thinking it was much more pleasurable to see you struggling not to make a sound.
“Armin...”
“Yeah, say my name, love.” He thrusted harder into your walls, hands gripping your hips to ground you in your spot. Another thrust from Armin and another moan from you, each time the thrusts getting quicker and your soft voice louder, not even beginning to think that there were people on the other side of the thin walls.
“Why so quiet, love? Do you not...like...the way I’m fucking you?” He said between quick thrusts, not giving you the time to make out a single word. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the knot tied low in your stomach was ready to come untied.
“Answer me.” He ordered, the grip on your hips now almost painful. You opened your eyes to see him leaning down, your legs now almost next to your head on the pillow. Armin hovered over you, now fucking your hole with more ease. You noticed he let out soft, needy whines every time your walls clenched around his cock, to which you grinned slightly. Bad choice.
“Do you think it’s funny? The way you let me fuck you so easily?” A hand now met your hair, pulling your head back into the pillow a bit.
“A-Armin!”
“That’s right. Say my name, whore.” He closed his eyes, taking in the sound of his name coming from your mouth. Your walls clenched around him as the knot finally came undone, and you were sure your juices were spilling on the sheets.
“Please...too sensitive...I can’t-” Your words came out in stutters, your legs closing involuntarily only for Armin to push them open again every time.
“Say my name.” He moaned out, thrusting inside your cunt now almost inhumanly fast.
“Armin!” Your second orgasm was on the way and your legs were starting to shake from the overstimulation. Armin didn’t fail to notice it and he wouldn’t lie if he said he wasn’t close as well, but he had learned to control himself. He couldn’t let it be over so soon. Not when he finally had you where he wanted you all along.
In the heat of the moment, it took you a few seconds to notice a stinging on your cheek, but when you did, you looked up at the blond, who was smirking down at you, hand still on your red cheek.
“Who’s fucking you? Huh?”
“You! You’re fucking me, Armin!”
“Louder.” He grunted, finally giving some attention to your nipples by slapping them teasingly.
“Armin! Armin! Fuck, I’m gonna–”
“Cum on my cock...fuck, ___.” Armin couldn’t take it anymore when your walls clenched around him once again as you orgasmed for the second time that night. Between moans and gasps and whispers of his name, you felt a wave of air hit your core and you realized Armin had pulled out.
He was now rubbing his swollen cock over your stomach, the other hand desperately massaging your breast. To help him, you led his hand to your other breast and took his cock in your own, thumb grazing over his red tip to make the beads of cum coat the rest of his length. Armin tilted his head back, not shy to moan loudly at the way your hand rubbed his length so...perfectly.
“Fuck, just like that. Just like that, love.” His legs shook slightly as his warm cum drew on your stomach and breasts, shooting almost up to your neck due to the overstimulation he went through. Exhausted and out of breath, Armin fell on the pillow next to you and planted a rough kiss on your lips.
“Let me take a picture of you. Don’t move.” Shocked, you couldn’t even blurt out a word at what he suggested, but something deep inside you made you nod in agreement. Maybe that tiny crush you had on Armin for one month on your first year finally decided to come out and play.
“Look at the camera, love. Now, smile. ” He ordered, getting on top of you with an old-fashioned polaroid in hand. He took one of your breasts in his big, soft hand and snapped a picture that he’d later pin over his bed, a reminder for himself and everyone that Armin Arlert always got what he wanted.
~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~
Lmao I hope y’all liked this otherwise it’d be embarrassing. Anyway, requests are always open, leave some for me to do while I procrastinate! <3
492 notes · View notes
anne-i-write · 3 years
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moriarty the patriot headcannons
| requested by anon: can you write headcanons for moriarty brothers meeting and having dinner with s/o's parents for the first time? and s/o's father is overprotective. thanks 🤍🙆🏻 |
william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader
word count: 1857
tw: mentions of toxic behavior in albert’s hcs
a/n: IM BACK AND THRIVING BBS!!! it’s so good to be back again to writing!!! hhh i’m so sorry if this is far from what you wanted but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless!!!! lowkey went off the railings w this one so 👀 also if i missed any tags, please let me know!!!!!
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william: 803 words
it had been you and your father since you were younger bc your mom was the “lucky” choice of some noble
but you wouldn’t have it any other way
you two are very close and everyone in the town knows
that, and that you both hate nobles
so it’s no surprise when the moriartys move into town, you’re both less than pleased
you always try your best to avoid them whenever they come into your town and your father always begs his friends to take the nobles as customers, despite the fact it could be good for business
but the town you lived in was particularly small and you did end up bumping into william
literally
some stupid man didn’t see you crossing the road and you were nearly crushed by the carriage if it hadn’t been for the hand that pulled at your wrist
“i swear people these days don’t know how to drive carriages.”
you don’t know who you were expecting
BUT ANYONE BUT A NOBLE
“are you alright?”
“i’m fine thank you—“
you’re absolutely flustered
how did i not know that this was a noble??? he smells so clean!
“i’ve got to be on my way now!” and you left william there with no explanation
but lil did you know he actually knew who you were
or to an extent, you weren’t as sneaky as you’d hoped you’d be
he saw you hiding in corners and alleyways every time you two accidentally made eye contact
and some of the townsfolk actually told him a little about you and your father so he understood why you weren’t too welcoming
but to take great lengths to avoid him??? he is very intrigued
so he starts off small, trying to send you a kind smile before you dart off behind a fruit stall
he really tries his best to get close to you and after a few weeks (and a few persuasive friends), he finally gets to hold a conversation with you
and boy does he fall FAST
it takes a while but you finally reciprocate his feelings and he thinks its smooth sailing from there right???
lmao everyone knows your father is literally the most intimidating looking man that could ever walk the earth
if they didn’t know him personally, they would be afraid of getting curb stomped 🤠
i mean,, he’s a big softie but god forbid anyone even DARES to look at you in a romantic light
you warn william of this and he’s like “don’t worry love, it shouldn’t be too bad”
it is bad
even william has cold hands bc your father is giving him the dirtiest look
dinner isn’t even dinner it’s a grill with how much questions your father is asking him
it does NOT help that he’s a noble
“so,,, you’re a noble”
“your cooking is amazing sir”
your father leaves the table for a little bit and you can hear the quiet sigh of relief from william
“i’m sorry for my father”
“no, no,,, i just,,, your father’s really intimidating, isn’t he?”
you let out a chuckle and william relaxed, a soft smile gracing his lips
“he can be, but it’s just something he does.” you threw a wistful gaze at the door your father disappeared before.
“he’s just worried about you, i can see it. he doesn’t want you around people like me.” you grabbed his hand over the table and he gently squeezed your hand.
“if anything, if he’d give you a chance, he’d want me to be with you. noble or not”
you both continue to have a delightful conversation, your sweet laughs filling the room
however, you didn’t know your father was listening in on your conversation and he couldn’t agree more with william
your mother left with more than just a curt goodbye and unshed tears
she left you with a tear stained letter filled with sorrowful regrets and sincere apologies
he knew you would eventually grow up to be critical of the world and if you were to find out that your mother had left unwillingly, he was afraid that you would be too bitter towards the world
but as he hears your laugh and his worries are dulled down a little
he sees you smiling so happily at william and when he chances a glance at the noble beside you, his worries are completely erased
william’s looking at you the same way everyone swore he looked at your mother
it’s a gentle gaze filled with love and kindness, one that he knew could protect you and take care of you
your father hated nobles and hovered over you when it came to love
but he couldn’t help but hold back on questions when he came back and you instantly noticed that your father took a liking william
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louis: 508 words
everyone knew you as “Little Noble” in your town
the sole reason being your father literally treating you like a noble lmao
he gave you the best of everything he could afford and tried his best to not let you do any work
tried
of course, you were a little angel and you HAD to help otherwise you’d cry about making someone else tired when you could’ve easily helped
you’ve carried this trait until your early twenties and there were no signs that you would stop
hence why you were bringing home some fresh fruits from the stall clerk before a man bumps into you
you were so caught off guard that your knee buckled and you fell on your butt
everyone was stunned into silence as you fell but louis was so apologetic
so when he helped you back up, he felt the chilling stares of the town burning into his back
and then you apologize for bumping into him when he was the one who bumped into you and you fell??????
“please, let me make you something! i feel so bad!”
he tries to decline but there was this odd pressure to say yes to you
he ends up going home with you
you’re both in front of the door before your father opens it, his eyes wide
“who is this boy?”
“oh, i didn’t get his name on the way here. what is your name?”
your poor father’s heart is pounding way too fast for his liking
“oh! look at that, thank you so much for bringing my child home! you should be going home now”
he tries to shut the door on louis but you hold it open and beckon louis inside
“i invited him here! i accidentally bumped into him earlier so i offered to make him something!”
louis is so awkward pls
your father reluctantly lets him in but gives him a side eye the whole time he’s in the house
“does your child do this often?”
“why? do you find it strange?”
YOUR FATHER IS SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PLEASE SAVE LOUIS
anyways, you finish making your treat and give it to louis, your father glaring at your interaction
louis is still a little stiff but the more you talk to him, his guard is let down a little
soon enough he has to leave and you wish him well
he leaves with a wave and a kind smile and you look over at your father who had been scowling since you appeared at the front door
“he is a bit cute, don’t you think father?”
your father sputters, stunned by your bold claim
“y-you’re still too young to think about men like that!”
you laugh and shut the front door, teasing your poor father about finding love while also wondering if you would meet louis again
as you talk with your father behind closed doors, louis smiles to himself as he thinks about the unusual encounter today
surely, if i met them again tomorrow, it would make for a pleasant day
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albert: 546 words
he meets your father before he meets you
it was during a ball your parents organized in order to connect with the more prestigious nobles around you
your parents were obsessed with the way your family was viewed and apparently being an earl wasn’t enough
so albert hears about you when your father boasts about how you’re the perfect child who answered to his every beck and call
in all honesty, albert was disgusted
no one deserved to be brought up like that
he casually makes his way into the conversation and your father is seething
“my child is your age, it’s a shame you act like this, i would have thought of you as a prime husband for them”
who is this earl to tell him what to do?
needless to say your father crosses him off of the guest list for the next ball
days go by and your father doesn’t know that you’re currently in town, doing what you can to help the working class as best as you can
it is on one particular day of visiting an orphanage do you run into the eldest moriarty brother
you two exchange polite greetings and you both pause
“your father is the earl, is he not?”
“you are a general of the army, are you not?”
a brief mention of your father and your mood dulls slightly
“yes, but i’m here on my own accord”
he would kill you if he found out you were amongst the “filth” as he called them
“well, i’ve brought books for the children, would you like to help me read some to them?”
he seemed sincere enough to not want anything more from you, so you agreed
he was actually very pleasant to be around and you find yourself enjoying his company
the meetups continued to happen and soon enough, albert finds himself standing in front of the doors to your family estate
your father is not pleased at all
“it’s nice to meet you again, sir”
“i didn’t forget about what you said to me at our first meeting”
and you’re sitting there like,, ????? they’ve met??? and your father doesn’t like albert???????
of course, inviting albert to your home would have repercussions but you didn’t expect your father to be so hostile
he was always hostile towards other nobles unless they were of higher importance than him
but for him to hate albert so quickly and openly??? this was quite new
you had mentioned that your father has always been one for power so it was clear to albert that you obviously grew up in a home that was more,,, toxic than protective
it was at dinner that this behavior reached its peak and albert despised the atmosphere and the way your father treated you
“i’ve come here to ask for your child’s hand in marriage”
your father rejects the idea without any hesitation
“i refuse to have them live the rest of their life in your household when they could do so much better”
when you invited albert that night, you knew there would be repercussions with your father
but what you didn’t expect was that you would leave your father and adopt the moriarty name as your own, the family welcoming you with open arms
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moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji
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leviiattacks · 3 years
Note
Head canons for mafia boss levi being interested in Starbucks barista reader please
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note :: this idea is so cute i wrote a scenario i hope you don’t mind. i can still post some headcanons for it too if you really want me to! i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted me to write anon :-( ALSO this is super casual writing it’s not like the way i usually write it’s just bullet points i mean idk i wanted to try something different and more relaxed lmk if this style is okay for some requests :D
if anyone would like any more requests with this levi please lmk!! i could go in more detail tbh maybe the pacing of this isn’t too good bc it is a short request but yeahhh
+ idk why the formatting looks so odd i tried my best to fix it myself ?!.!/!:£:& but yeah sorry again!!
levi has always been one to keep his business meetings lowkey
i mean, realistically who is going to suspect mafia boss levi is lingering in a starbucks???
the place is well-suited for his hushed meetings, he finds it to be quiet enough and clean enough
but then one winter everything changes
you start working there
he’s waiting in the queue texting erwin asking when he’ll be able to get there
it’s been a RUSH and the traffic is crazy as expected from the bustling city so he doesn’t expect to see erwin for a while
that’s when he hears you for the first time
“HEY!! Mister in the fancy suit it’s your turn to order”
your hands are placed on the counter and you lean forward eagerly waiting for what he has to say
levi rolls his eyes because he thinks you have to be ogling his designer watch and shoes (you really aren’t)
“black tea, no sugar and... a cinnamon swirl” he’ll order for erwin later. “i’ll be eating in.”
“ooohhh you’re a tea guy? name?” you’re smiling at him radiantly and it irks him because you have nothing to be smiling about really
eyes narrowing he responds “no shit, i just ordered tea.”
“and why the hell do you want my name?” he snaps on reflex
he then remembers he’s at a starbucks and you are not interrogating him, you’re doing your job
“sir... this is starbucks?? is this your first time here?”
you blink in confusion but then your face lights up “oh my, would you like to sign up for a starbucks card?? you can collect stars and get rewards and it’s so muc–“
“do i look like i need a starbucks card?”
“everyone looks like they need a starbucks card”
he doesn’t carry on that part of your conversation instead he looks you dead in the eyes “levi, is my name.”
his glare intimidates you and you awkwardly laugh
you think he’s probably having a super bad day and choose to not bother him that much
as he’s waiting he sees the way you clumsily navigate behind the counter, you’re juggling a number of things in your arms
automatically his face sours
he’s not expecting the tea you produce to be any good
he doesn’t care how nice you are if you can’t do what he wants he won’t be leaving a tip
he’s stingy like that
a clatter is heard and all the noise you’re making just makes you all the more aggravating
he’s been coming here for years and never has encountered a barista as bothersome as yourself
at some point you call out the name “SCROOGE!” from behind the counter, levi finds it embarrassing that anyone would ever call their child that
like... out of all the names this is what they choose??
damn they have to hate parenthood
“scrooge i’m begging you collect your drink.”
he looks up pissed that whoever this scrooge is has the audacity to hold you up because that by default means they are holding him up
then he sees you staring directly at him with that warm smile again
yeah, that smile, it could thaw ice
then it settles.
he’s scrooge?
turning around he notices no one is behind him then he sees that no one else is waiting apart from him
jaw clenching he heads towards you and makes it a point to “tsk” in frustration
he takes his cup and his cinnamon roll and you wave him goodbye
usually levi prefers to silently sit in the booth furthest from the action, he wants no attention drawn to him at all
but that day he finds himself sitting closer to the counter
he’s kind of stunned when he does that because he’s just sat there thinking why the hell did i just do that?? why did i sit here??
but he convinces himself it’s because he wants to see erwin when he’s about to walk in so he can prepare to scold him for not arriving on time
he takes a sip of his beverage expecting nothing above mediocirty but weirdly, your brew, it tastes perfect
levi’s eyes linger on you and he notices the way your behaviour is consistent
you’re helping an old woman pick what she’d like from the menu
you compliment her jumper, says it really makes her blue eyes stand out
you don’t have to be as nice as you are and it’s ticking him off
it ticks him off seeing someone so pure and sweet for no reason
when did people decide to not have ulterior motives anymore? did you decide those were too old school for you?
tongue poking at the inside of his cheek he activates his poker face and looks away
you, are a random person. a random, annoying person. he is going to stop thinking about you.
turning his attention to erwin instead he calls him and when he picks up levi makes his point very clear
“i was just called scrooge. get the hell here so i can order for you.”
erwin chuckles, his throaty laugh makes levi’s mouth twitch downwards in irritation
“and who exactly called you scrooge?”
“is that relevant?”
“very much so if you’ve mentioned it yourself”
levi is silent and erwin laughs once again at his colleagues anti social way of interacting
“i’ll be there in five, feel free to order.”
grunting a sound of approval levi hangs up
“you’re back! how may i help?”
the way you treat being a barista so seriously, he finds it oddly endearing
“one doubleshot iced coffee.”
nodding to yourself you hum a tune happily and get to work
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ever since that day levi finds himself frequenting that specific starbucks more
at first it’s a whole lot of “i’m pissed and i don’t have a reason so i’ll go down there and have her annoy me, then i’ll have a real reason”
then you talk to him more and you both engage in small talk
then it develops when he doesn’t mean for it to
you tell him about what you study, where you’re from, how your mother has recently developed arthritis but she’s still so determined to cook to the best of her abilities despite the pain
that reminds him of you
each visit he learns something new about you
sometimes he’ll let you in on his life
“what do you work as, i’ve always wondered?“
“accountant.“ no way in hell is he going to scare you away, telling you isn’t an option
you burst out in laughter holding your knees
“accountancy is well paying what is your point...?”
“do you not know what that means” your laugh is muffled as you press the sleeve of your jumper against your mouth
he shakes his head completely clueless
“people say their accountants when they’re actually strippers. it’s a tiktok thing.”
you pause for a second staring at his face
he feels the way his ears grow red under your gaze but he ignores it looking as bored as ever
“ah well. i did not know that.”
“clearly not you are an old man.”
then you turn away to brew his tea and he lets the ghost of a smile sneak its way onto his face
you aren’t looking, it’s okay
but he knows it’s dangerous getting attached to you
it’s stupid relaxing
and it’s even worse loosening up
so he doesn’t.
he’s always cold, bitter and frigid in his responses as he’s always been with you
but that doesn’t stop you from kindly smiling
or absentmindedly brushing the surface of his skin on rare occasions
it doesn’t stop you from calling him scrooge
and it certainly doesn’t stop you from slowly thawing the frosty exterior of his heart
then one day you let the words “my scrooge” slip out of your mouth
he doesn’t know why he let’s it happen or even how it happens exactly but he can’t help the smile that makes itself evident on his face
“HEY YOU JUST SMILED HELLO?????? you can do THAT????”
he smiled in front of you, that’s it he’s fucked
he quickly drops it and is back to his normal narrowed glare
“i did no such thing”
you give him a knowing look but sigh airily there’s no point in getting the man to admit it
“what would you like today, a frappe?”
you ask the sarcastic question even though you know he hates change. his usual order is already ingrained in your mind. you know it off by heart
he sighs in exasperation
“is your memory really that bad?”
“nope. cinnamon rolls and black tea it is!”
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isa-ghost · 3 years
Note
How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶
Oookay unpacking this ask time.
Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.
1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)
2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!
I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.
The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.
I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.
HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.
But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.
And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')
I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??
Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?
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yesimwriting · 3 years
Text
The Problem With Light
a/n i literally did not mean to write this, i was working on requests and then my mind was like ‘remember that lowkey love triangle kaz brekker x reader x darkling thing you always say you're going to write’ so yeah,, here we are :)),, two longer fics are coming!! 
Summary: Kaz changes his plans after meeting the Sun Summoner and Kirigan teeters on a line the reader isn’t sure she wants. 
-- 
Chapter One: The Conflicts of Prayer 
--
Narrator. 
--
Kaz knows a lot about patience. He knows how to bear the weight that the passage of time thrusts onto one's shoulder. He knows how to cultivate the seeds that he sews. If he wasn’t like this he’d stand no chance at one day avenging the ghost that refuses to leave him. 
But Jesper is almost an hour late. Kaz has been standing in a dimly hit branch of a relatively important hallway in the Little Palace. Jesper was supposed to come while in disguise to bring Kaz his new disguise and his newly repaired cane. Kaz’s hand flexes again, wishing he could feel the detailed head of one of his few comforts beneath the broken-in leather of his gloves. A bitter part of him claims that if Jesper isn’t injured once he arrives, he’ll be injured once Kaz gets his hand on his cane. 
He shifts his weight, the pain in his leg starting to take its toll. The slight relaxation disappears once he hears footsteps. Kaz turns, ignoring the ache the motion brings him. His entire body hardens, preparing for a fight. He doesn’t look like he belongs here yet and there’s nowhere to run. The person crossing his path will need to be taken care of--knocked out or something more permanent. 
The person only pauses to look at him when Kaz angles himself forward in a fighting stance. He watches the person, a girl, shifts back slightly, eyes wide and defensive. She’s a mess--hair disheveled, nose slightly bleeding, and dirty kefta. Her appearance isn’t why Kaz finds himself frozen, not because of the girl’s appearance but because she’s her. Y/n l/n. The Sun Summoner. 
“Sorry! I--” She almost winces, but then her eyebrows furrow together. “You’re not supposed to be here.” Kaz’s jaw locks. He could take her physically, but for all he knows she could raise her arms and blind him permanently with her light. “That’s okay,” she breathes, something in her looking a little relieved, “I’m not supposed to be here either.” Kaz watches her oddly, wondering if her trustingness is a trap in itself. “I won’t tell if you don’t.” 
It’s a joke. That much is clear by the gentle uptilt of her lips. It’s as if she doesn’t know she’s bleeding and looks like she just ran out of a fight. Her expression doesn’t harshen at his silence. Kaz finds himself disliking that. It’s not enough that she can summon the sun, she also has to seem like it.
He needs to say something. Jesper was supposed to be watching her and now he’s not here and she is. The plan is unraveling and if he talks she’ll stay here or reveal where she’s going to next. That’s the kind of thing he needs to salvage this. 
His lips part, but he’s not sure what to say. “You’re not supposed to be here?” 
She shakes her head once. “No--I’m supposed to be in personal training, but I kind of got my ass kicked in group training and my pride needs a break.” The admission leaves her sheepishly. “It’s probably for the best, becoming a Sun Summoner overnight has given me a bit of an ego.” She sighs, the sound strangely light. “Then again, I kind of need an ego for what’s wanted from me and if one bad fight is all it takes to kill it then it’s not strong enough, considering--” Kaz tenses as she cuts herself off. “Sorry, I’m rambling, we both have places to be.” Hope presses into him stiffly. She’s going to say it. “Where--where are you supposed to be?” She shifts back slightly. “Not that I have to know, but you’re not from here, and--” 
Kaz steps forward, pushing through the stiffness in his leg. Y/n’s gaze drops. Kaz’s discomfort worsens, someone like her doesn’t need to know his weaknesses. “Are you here for me to pray for you?” She scratches her arm, “I-I can, but I tell everyone I pray for I don’t consider myself a Saint.” 
The honesty of the comment twisted something in Kaz’s thoughts. “Yes,” he lies, partially distracted by the beginnings of a scheme. He can feel Inej’s future anger as he lies again, “I’m here for prayer.” 
“I spent so long rambling,” she says in a tone that implies apology. 
He nods once, wondering how someone could  be that apologetic and survive. The weight of such power must strangle someone like her. That could be a good thing. Someone like her must be spiraling with all this change and sudden strength. Maybe this could be simpler than an abduction plan, a few choice words and he could convince the girl to come with him. He could get her to believe there was something she needed to do in Ketterdam. If she went there willingly, things could be much more efficient. 
Inej won’t like this, and for this to work he’ll have to think of the right way to present the plan to her. He weighs his options and the details as y/n whispers words with her eyes closed and hands folded together. The words he can make out are kind. He expected that, but what he didn’t expect was the earnestness of them. 
She means each part of her prayers. Kaz regrets noticing that. 
“I can’t promise my prayers do anything,” she finishes, voice returning to its normal volume, “but I hope you get what you need.” 
What he wants is within his grasp now that he knows what to do. “I’m sure good things are near.” It’s the most honest he’s been since her arrival. 
Y/n nods once, “I should go before my reprieve costs me more than it's worth.” 
He watches her disappear down the hallway. Her movements are light, calm and unweighted. 
“Boss,” Jesper’s appearance is brash, “I’ve spent this entire time looking for her. She was in training like she was supposed to, took an awul blow, delivered an even meaner one, and then disappeared.”
Kaz tries to imagine the same hands that were just so neatly folded in prayer as fists. “You just missed her.” He doesn’t wait for Jesper’s reaction, he just takes his newly repaired cane back. “And we’re changing the plan.” 
--
Y/n.
--
I tried going to Baghra. I told someone who believed my prayers meant something that I was going back to training. But then I remembered her words from last time and the shame I felt when I could not create light. I haven’t summoned light once without Kirigan’s touch. 
I’m the Sun Summoner--I am the person that summons the sun by themselves. Kirigan and I aren’t the Sun Summoner together. I’m pathetic. And instead of trying to get better, I’m wandering the library because all anyone can talk about is the way Zoya punched me in the face. 
Baghra picked me apart when I looked shiny. I can’t imagine the kinds of comments she’d make if she saw me with a bloody nose and dead leaves in my hair. I’ll go tomorrow, once Genya fixes both my matted hair and cracked self esteem. 
For now, I have the one thing that’s always comforted me. My books. I wander the library, trying not to think of anything. Of Baghra, of Zoya, of the strange man in the hall. 
He seemed weighted by something. I always wish I could do more for those that ask for my prayer, but the longing is sharper now. I don’t know him, so it’s ridiculous to want to help him so badly, but my uselessness itches beneath my skin in a way I’m not used to. I don’t know why I feel more protective about this stranger than others. I’ve had people fall to my feet weeping, begging for me to save them. That hurt me, but the desire to help this one stranger burns in a way I’ve never felt before.  
“I don’t know why they don’t look for you here every time you disappear.” His voice is as soft and subtle as a shadow. “They’d save so much time.” 
I fight the urge to defensively grasp the first book I can reach. “You’re making it sound like I have a habit of vanishing in order to make a point.” My defense is weak. We both know that this isn’t the first time I ran away from something here. “Sometimes absence is just that.” 
“When you’ve waited for someone as long as I have, all absence is significant.” The words are not harsh but they should be. I don’t know how I could respond to that. 
He steps forward easily, as he always does. I keep myself still despite the way that warmth settles against my chest uncomfortably. I manage to hold onto my stillness even when he raises a hand, one gentle finger brushing above my top lip. I tense at his lingering touch. 
Kirigan turns his hand slowly, exposing the red on his fingertips. “How di--” 
“Training,” I interrupt quickly, “I promise I got a decent hit in as well.” 
When he nods, his expression is clearly weighted but I cannot interpret it. He almost always looks like that. I shouldn’t find anything about the man that stole me from everything I’ve ever known (even though he had good reason to do so) alluring, but I want to understand him. It’d feel like knowing a secret the rest of the world is desperate for. 
For a moment we just stand there, Kirigan closer than he’s ever been. Sometimes when he’s quiet I think he knows my secrets. All of mine. Even my curiosity about him. “I don’t doubt that.” 
At least he tries to be nice to me sometimes. It’s more than anyone else here can say. Except maybe Genya. “You don’t have to say that.” He knows it’s true. “Keep in mind you found me in the library, hiding from Baghra.” 
He hesitates. “No one likes training.”
“I think I’d find it tolerable if…” Can I say this to him? Admit the extent of my helplessness? He looks at me patiently, waiting for me to give something to him. “I’m the Sun Summoner--that’s supposed to be me. That’s supposed to be mine, and I can’t do it by myself.” 
The patheticness of my struggle hits me in full force. I drop my head as he weighs my words. “It’s in you,” he says it so surely I don’t think I could argue. 
I smile politely. “Thank you.” 
Kirigan reaches downwards, towards my wrist. He latches onto me so quickly I’m too surprised to back away. “Light,” he prompts like it really is that easy. 
I know I can do it with him, so I don’t see the point in showing it. “It doesn’t count if I get help.” 
“Y/n.” Sometimes I think his voice is softer when he speaks my name. 
I raise my hands, overlaying them, letting the hand that he touches make up the base of my cup. Reaching into myself, I search for the power beneath my skin. With him, that power seems to sit directly beneath the surface, desperate and greedy. I don’t call to it, instead I simply let it flow. The light bleeds from me, a sphere of blinding light bursts into my hands. It’s bright, burning, and desperate to escape my control. 
My mind clamps around the power tightly, restraining it without choking it out until the light in my hands is exactly as small as I want it to be. I hold it there, letting its warmth melt away all of the bad. I let it grow, the light illuminating a path I can barely see--a path in which I do not disappoint those that need to have faith in something and for some unknown reason decided to place it in me. I hold onto that feeling, and then I let the light disappear. 
I smile at my hands. The only good that’s come from this is the way the light makes me feel. “Y/n.” I look up at Kirigan, who’s showing me both of his palms. “That was you.” 
A feeling better than the light coils up my stomach and into my heart. I grin. I did it without him. I can do it without him. “That--how did you know that would work?” 
“I knew that you could do it, you just needed to see it.” 
Warmth fills me, light and easy. A little too light. I have to work at not reaching for him, not because I need to, but because I want to. “Thank you.” This time I mean it.
“Your gratitude is premature,” he warns, but nothing about it is harsh, “I’m here to send you back to training.” 
At least the thought of facing Baghra no longer devastates me. “There’s always a catch.” I smile, hoping he understands what he’s done for me. “But I think this time it may be worth it.” 
He almost smiles. “Tell me if you still feel that way after spending time with Baghra.” 
A fair warning. It’s more than I expect from him. “Will do.” 
Kirigan’s expression threatens to soften, but he turns away from me with a soft nod before I can try to decipher the look. I let him leave before disappearing down another hall, forcing myself to look for Baghra. I think of my interaction with both Kirigan and the stranger, at least Baghra won’t be the weirdest part of my day
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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years
Note
Would lowkey kill to see Kauri attempting to write poetry in his relationship with Jake era (omg Jake helping him/being the one to write it down) I always forget that he was a writer and loves poetry and I love him 10 times more every time I remember
CW: Some references to past trauma, forced illiteracy, some brief internalized victim-blaming/slut-shaming, Kauri’s low self-esteem
Takes place after Worth the Risk and Kauri’s first glimpse of his own past
“This is fucking stupid. I can’t fucking do this.” Kauri picks up the notebook, hard-backed blue with little golden stars twinkling on the cover, and throws it full-strength across the room until it smacks into the wall and drops to the ground, open to his own scrawling, struggling handwriting.
Chris, wrapped in a big fuzzy blue blanket and curled up in an armchair playing a game on his phone or texting Laken or maybe both, flinches and looks up. “Kauri?”
Kauri looks away from the earnest concern in those huge green eyes and kicks ineffectually at the coffee table, hissing when he doesn’t actually miss and his toes connect with the hard wooden leg. “Fuck. Fucking-... bullshit, I’m an idiot trying to do this, just-... god damn it. I should know better.”
There’s a silence, and then Chris asks, softly, “Know better than, than... than to what? What were you, um, you doing?”
Kauri’s jaw is set and for a second he considers lying. He’s a good liar, after all, and Chris is always so ready to believe him, he wouldn’t even question it. Safer to lie, hide the ideas inside his head, talk instead about something soft and surface-level. 
Safer to be stupid, always.
But he’s trying not to do that anymore.
He’s trying.
“Writing,” He says, finally. “I was... trying to-... write something.” The words are ground out of him nearly against his will. He glares at the notebook lying open on the floor, the scrawling handwriting of the fucked up slut still thinking he can be anything else. Looping and childish, too big almost to fit within the lines. 
“Oh.” Chris pauses, and then brightens, setting his phone aside and straightening up. “You, you sad you think that you used to, to, to, to write, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” Kauri’s head hurts, a sharp punishing ache. How dare he think in metaphor and simile, how dare he try to build the villanelle, how dare he remember vaguely arguing with someone in a coffeeshop over old poetic forms being superior to poems that don’t even try to fit within a rhythm, and he just-
This is so-
He’s so stupid, thinking he could just pick it up again like it hasn’t been a decade or close, like he’s still whatever stupid shit lived in his body before he-
signed up for this-
followed a fucking hot guy outside in the dark and got thrown into a van and made into Kauri. 
“Well, my... my professor for, for, for, for Playwriting says... says writing is a muscle. You, you have to exercise. And you can’t do the, um, the, the, the-the heavy weights until you start with, with small ones.”
Kauri snorts, derisive, but it’s not because Chris is wrong - of course he’s not wrong. Part of Kauri knows it, too, that he used to write all the time, around the pounding inside his skull he knows that he used to scribble lines on napkins and paper towels and the margins of his study books, bringing together the poem itself only later, usually alone or with a boyfriend on the other side of the room. He used to be able to do this.
He used to do this all the time. 
“I wish Owen had wanted someone who could write a fucking poem,” Kauri says, voice breaking on the tears that threaten. “Maybe then I’d still be able to.” He pushes himself to his feet and stomps over to scoop up the notebook almost violently. “Why are you taking Playwriting, anyway? I thought you wanted to do set design.”
“I, I do.” Chris shrugs, eyes on Kauri, watching him walk back towards the doorway that leads to a hall and then to the kitchen. “But I thought-... I, I, I figured-... maybe if I learn how to, to write a play, it would help... visualize. For, for, for set-building. You, um. You know?”
Kauri exhales, slowly, and then nods. “Yeah. I get it. That’s a good plan - I mean, not that I would know, I’m a college fucking dropout, right?” He laughs, bitterness in every word, in every sound.
“No,” Chris replies, simply. “You, you were... abducted. We were, um. We, we, we were stolen. Your words were, um, were stolen, too. That’s what Dr. Berger-”
“Fuck Dr. Berger,” Kauri snaps, and leaves the room before Chris can make any more sense and possibly break apart Kauri’s determined self-loathing while he still wants to soak in it. 
Hating himself for what he can’t do - or what he’s been told he can’t do - is so much easier than trying to do it anyway.
Everything was easier than trying to get better.
So why is he still trying?
Notebook clenched in white-knuckled hands, Kauri climbs the stairs like a man moving to the gallows, one by one, his thoughts a swirling morass of self-hatred, and then he moves into the bedroom he shares with Jake here and stares at the rumpled covers on the bed.
He sleeps here every single night, wakes up to the same face pressed red on one side from the pillow, hears the same deep voice rumbling good morning, feels the same arm slide over his waist, the same scratchy stubble rubbing his jaw when he’s kissed. 
I have generally found, in my work, the fucking therapist’s voice echoes inside him, that when you begin to do the work to rebuild, you will find yourself dedicated over time to reconstructing not just a room, Kauri, but the entire city that was once leveled. Does that make sense?
He’d told her it didn’t.
Kauri spent years dodging therapy whenever Nat didn’t talk him into it, and he hates going. He hates having to spill all the darkness inside him to someone who never stops being so goddamn calm.
But the first time she’d said, have you ever heard about the effect that solitary confinement has on the human mind? He had told her he didn’t know, but he’d started crying, too, and hadn’t been able to explain why. 
Part of you knows, Dr. Berger had said gently. Part of you always knew.
He had never really wanted to know the person who had inhabited this skin, or try to be him again. But standing here looking at the evidence of the life he is slowly building - his clothes in a crumpled heap on the floor by the bed, his toothbrush in the little cup in the bathroom, a picture of he and Jake in a frame by the bed now, the very small silver ring he wears sometimes even though they’re not and they probably won’t but it kind of feels good to wear it sometimes... 
He wonders if Liam Harker wanted a life like this one.
---
“It’s really dumb,” Kauri mutters, pulling the pillow over his face, burning red with embarrassment. “I didn’t even really mean for you to see it-”
“It’s not dumb,” Jake says, gently. Kauri feels the dip in the mattress as he sits down, feels the warmth of his hand resting on Kauri’s thigh through the blanket. “I’m sorry I read it. I didn’t know what I was looking at. If it was supposed to be a secret-”
“No. I didn’t. I forgot I left it out on the dresser. It’s not your fault. It’s so fucking stupid. I don’t know why I even-”
“Kauri.” Jake’s voice sharpens, a little. “Stop. Stop calling yourself stupid. You’re not, and you never were, and you don’t have to repeat what that asshole told you about yourself anymore, remember?”
Kauri swallows, hard, a lump in his throat he can’t quite breathe around. “When does it stop being his voice,” He asks, muffled, “and start being my own?”
“When you let it,” Jake says, rubbing his leg soothingly. “Just like my dad’s voice. You’re not stupid. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life. I’m sorry I read it, but that’s because it wasn’t mine to read, not because it was dumb, or bad. It wasn’t.”
Kauri hesitates, then pulls the pillow to the side, looking at the sincere affection in Jake’s face, his slight smile. “Yeah? You’re not just-”
“Saying that? No, I’m not. I mean, I’m not, like, a poetry person-”
“It’s not even a real villanelle, anyway.”
“I have no idea what that means. I just... I thought it was pretty good, actually. When I realized-...  I put it down when I realized you were writing about-... you know. Yourself.”
“Liam,” Kauri says, hoarse, barely able to pronounce the name. “I wrote-”
“Yeah.” Jake takes his hand, pulls it to his lips, presses a kiss to Kauri’s knuckles. “I know. It’s really good, Kaur. You should keep writing. I promise I won’t look at any stray papers I find anymore, yeah?”
Kauri takes a breath. He feels almost dizzy, in a way that is both terrible and wonderful. The way you open yourself to the people you love is a horrible, amazing risk. The way you spill the darkest parts of yourself, not things you’ve done wrong but the things you are afraid of allowing back into the light, in case it washes them all away again.
But the light he lives in now isn’t cold, and it isn’t taking him away from himself. The light he lives in now is sunlight.
“What?” Jake’s eyebrows raise slightly. “What’s that face for?”
“Jake. What if-... what if I ask you to? Read them?”
Jake’s lips press together, and he nods, smiling slightly, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Kauri’s hand. He’s always warm, Jake, even on the coldest days. He’s always warm. “I’d be-... be fucking honored, or something that sounds less bullshit than that, but I mean it. I’d be... I love you, Kauri. Seeing inside your head is what I want to do for-... for forever.”
“Maybe I’ll ask then,” Kauri says, and pulls Jake’s hand and then Jake himself, the taller, larger man settling on top of him, holding himself up on his elbows, careful not to rest all his weight. “I love you, too, you know.”
“Yeah.” Jake kisses the tip of his nose. “It’s pretty fucking great.”
Kauri’s eyes glimmer, but he closes them so Jake can’t see, and kisses his forehead. “It’s nice to think that I’m lucky and mean it.”
“I think you should read your poem to Dr. Berger,” Jake says, and when Kauri groans, he pulls back. “I mean it. She should know.”
Kauri wants to argue, but he looks into Jake’s eyes, and sighs, and says he’ll think about it.
---
AN APOLOGY
I am built from the hollow air left after your heart stopped beating
Your hands still gripped tight to the life they were ending
I know you thought of home but I don’t know where your home is
The sound of my voice is a green valley that only sends back screaming
Covered in smoke and dust that I told myself smelled like cologne
Pathways that remember your laughter silent in the years that followed
Have I done enough to build a life you would have enjoyed living?
I am built from the hollow air left over when your heart stopped beating
The heat of their hands as inevitable as a river tore down every foundation
Their cruelty buried you so deeply that only I remain
I don’t deserve the love that should have been yours to receive
The sound of my voice is a valley echoing back your screaming
I owe you an apology for walking around inside you
Crumbling ruins with my touch and calling it preservation
I’m sorry for every blade of grass growing through our bones
Am I nothing but hollow air from when your heart stopped beating?
-
Wildflowers grow inside me from soil windswept over ash
Is that life worth everything not quite dead so deep below?
Is Kauri Grant good enough to make up for Liam Harker’s loss?
In the valley of my body, does anyone but me still hear you screaming?
I owe you an apology and have to hope the life I live provides it
I wish I could ask for forgiveness from the shape of you  
We’re both ghosts, in the end, mosaic pieces shattered in shadows
I’m sorry that I’m all that’s left.
I built myself from hollow air in the shape of a heart still beating
The sound of my voice will always carry the echo of yours screaming
Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @orchidscript @cubeswhump , @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @moose-teeth @whumptywhumpdump @wildfaewhump
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belle-keys · 3 years
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Reflections: The way Grace brings out the worst in James (Necessary incongruity in characterization)
This is just something that came to mind, but James’ characterization used to seem so strange to me sometimes until it finally, like, hit me why that was. (N.B. I’m stupid and this entire point just occurred to me recently okay so don’t pop in my replies telling me everyone already knows this, let me be Captain Obvious.)
The first time we properly met James was in The Midnight Heir, back in 2014 if I’m not mistaken, and DEAR GOD ABOVE, I remember thinking this is the angstiest and darkest Shadowhunter boy yet. No really, TDA then happened and literally nothing Julian ever did topped The Midnight Heir for me in terms of “wow, I’m kinda terrified for this boy”.
Like, I was just so shocked at how James was characterized in that short story. In a single story he: shot at the ceiling with a gun, got mad drunk in public, disrespected Magnus, embraced ducks, disrespected Jem, almost let himself DROWN for God’s sake.
“He was nothing but a shadow among shadows again. He was an infuriating Cheshire cat of a boy, nothing left of him but the impression of his smile. “My father was cursed,” James said from the darkness. “Whereas I? I’m damned.”
THIS WAS SO WILD MAN? Like this shit is so darksided right!?!?
He seems so unhappy and bitter and it’s all so dramatic? Like not even young Will was like this cus Will always covered up his pain with jokes and doting over Jem but Jamie was just... yooo, shit was scary to me okay. Then, in Nothing but Shadows, Cast Long Shadows and Every Exquisite Thing we got the *real* Jamie, right? He was just a cute socially awkward bookworm with a good heart and not sure how to fit into society and NONE of that darkness was to be seen in those stories. Sure, he was closed-off and secretive if anything but that’s really it, nothing like what we saw in TMH.
Theeeeeen Chain of Gold happened and he was just such a sweet, dashing, handsome, literary bean (🥺)??? And I was still left wondering like why was he depicted like that in The Midnight Heir cus he definitely didn’t act out like that any time in Gold. I did not for one second see that rage in him. Like we’ve been reminded by Matthew and James himself that he has a rage yet I felt, even up until reading Gold, that I had not seen that rage and bitterness since The Midnight Heir.
However, the ending of Iron definitely clears things up for me: it’s the Grace Effect.
“You have not just made me think that I loved you, you have subsumed my will over and over until I no longer know who I am. Do you even understand what it is that you’ve done?”
“No,” James snapped. “Enough. Not another word out of you. You came here tonight thinking I was still under the spell’s power—that I would hide you from your mother because I was your duped, doting fool. You had no intention of telling me the truth—”.
“Bitterness made it hurt to speak. “I would throw you onto the street,” said James, “but this power of yours is no better than a loaded gun in the hands of a selfish child. You cannot be allowed to continue to use it. You do know that?”
From a literary standpoint, this seems to be an allusion to that moment where Pip tells off Estella for not having a heart and for being an asshole to him. Like you’re left wondering where on earth did the little pushover orphan boy go?
Within the novels so far this has got to be the harshest I’ve ever heard Jamie speak (Grace deserves it btw). Like he’s on the verge of snapping “stfu and listen to me: you have manipulated and gaslit me and if it were up to me and not for my stupid honor I’d cast you and your pathetic self out into the cold”. (Ugh he’s such a badass).
Granted, he was not drunk and is much more mature than he was in the Bane Chronicles BUT his words here are so loaded. He learned that Grace was duping him the whole time and then BOOM this man was about to throw her into the street like he was MAD mad at the whole situation PLEASE. And then it really hit me that only Grace can hurt him like this and bring out this very facet of his character that we very rarely see, yet, was used for us to be introduced to him? His rage. From a technical standpoint, only Grace can bring out this side of him, and in a way, she’s a narrative tool used to fuel his characterization.
The first time Jamie acted out in TMH, he had gotten that letter from Grace saying she was suddenly gonna break off their love (🤢) and then he shows the worst part of himself. Now, Grace shows up at his doorstep and he learns about the enchantment and he uses the most fiery language I’ve ever seen him use, jarring in contrast to his typically attractive composure. Thus, the discrepancy between that original means of characterizing him as rebellious and bitter is like, solved, in the grander scheme of the situation given where Grace falls into his narrative arc as a person. Furthermore, it gives us a really nice contast between Will and his father. Everyone lowkey thought in 2014 that Jamie would be like Will or Jace cus Herondale right yet showing this dichotomy between Will and James’ darkness is so effective. Will’s darkness, his “curse”, was a secret he hept hidden from the world. Jamie’s darkness, his “damnation”, is a secret he himself was (mostly) not privy to. He’s not his full self when Grace is in the picture so we get that wrath and lack of control in some form or fashion which is so cool from an analytical perspective? It shows Cassie like really planned this shit out to the tee so many years in advance and it actually wasn’t true incongruity in his characterization at all.
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jjkxlv · 3 years
Text
You're So Mean! (I)
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↝Summary: You don't know that he felt that way about you :(
↝Genre: Fluff, angst, established relationship, rich!jk + rich!reader, famous!jk!reader,
↝Warnings: Mention of cheating, mention of being fat, reader was slightly insecure
Note: This is just a fictional story I made in my mind. You're beautiful no matter what size you are in! and please don't read this if it makes you uncomfortable.
Another note😭I didn't plan to make it into 2 parts but it came out longer that what i had planned in my mind lmao😭🤣but part 2 will be posted soon i guess😭🤣👍🏻ENJOY❤️
Part 2
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The cafeteria was LOUD. There’s just so many things going on inside your mind and this loud ass people did not help one bit. To make the matter worst, this morning when you’re weighing yourself, you actually gain two kilos which makes your weight in total of 48kg. “I knew it would turn out like this yet I let it happened now I have to pay the price” you said to yourself. After all the take outs and fast food for dinner with Jungkook, there’s no way you’ll stay in your shape. Out of frustration, you slam your fist on the table gaining your friends attention.
“Hey what’s wrong, Y/n?” Your friend Minie asked you.
“Everything! Everything is wrong!” You said in a rather loud voice.
“Okay instead of yelling, would you tell us what’s going on inside that head of your” Your other friend Yuju said.
“Fine, first today I got up and I checked my weight this morning and you guys know what,,, I actually weight more than 45kg and not like this is my first time but it’s stressing me out.
“Damn Y/n, maybe you should go with THE diet again idk”
“Yeah you should, what if Jungkook dump you if you become fat. You don’t want that do you?”
“Yeah as if. He loves me too much to be doing that”
And the table become silent. But one thing you didn’t notice is that Yuju and Minie been making this ‘eye signal’ to one another. The silent was broke by Yuju suddenly clearing her throat.
“Actually y/n, speaking about Jungkook, we have something to tell you” Yuju said while coming closer to you and Minie did the same.
“What” you said with a stern voice not wanting to hear their baseless rumour about Jungkook. Yet again. You love them. Your best friends. But sometimes you don’t think you should believe everything they said. You’re the one who is dating Jungkook. You’re the one who know Jumgkook more than anyone in this campus.
“My people said they saw this new girl talking to Jungkook and she was all over him. What a whore. And you know what, they said Jungkook was the one who approached her first”
“Should I be concern or something? I mean they were just talking right plus no receipt that she was all over him then… it didn’t happen. Unless ‘your people’ have receipt then I will believe them”
“Lol, suit yourself Miss y/n. Don’t come crying at us if he cheats on you” Yuju said and was supported by Minie.
“Yeah y/n, we told you this for your own good but if you don’t want to believe it then that’s on you”
You ignored them. You don’t understand why are they so bitter about Jungkook. Especially Yuju’s ‘people’. Always have something about Jungkook. Feeling annoyed, you said “whatever, I’m going to Jungkook” and got up leaving them behind.
You actually have no plan on meeting Jungkook right now since he’s in class right now but you could wait for him you guess. After a solid one hour, you finally see Jungkook head pop out with the sea of people coming out of their lecture room. He was all smiley talking to somebody then it hits you. Oh the new girl Yuju and Minie was talking about. They were walking side by side and they seem close. You pushed yourself between that sea of people and after what feels like eternity, you reached Jungkook. You waste no time in holding his arm grabbing his attention.
“Hi babe” you said greeting him. Leaning up and on your tippy toes to give him a quick peck on the lips.
“Oh hey baby! I didn’t know you was waiting for me” he said acknowledging your presence and gladly kiss you back. You felt weird satisfaction by the fact that this new girl getting the memo that he’s yours and off limit.
“Yeah something came up btw who’s this?” you asked giving her a question yet judging gaze.
“Oh yeah this is Jiwo and Jiwo this is y/n my girlfriend”
“Hi I’m y/n” you said with a smile and you offer your hand for a handshake which she gladly took it. You give her a gentle yet tight grip making her look up to you with a clueless gaze.
“Jiwo” she said with a smile.
“Well Jiwo nice skirt, where’d you get that?” you asked.
“Ouh thanks! It was my mom’s” she said, face getting red because you’re actually the first one to compliment her look here.
“Ouhh vintage I like that” you said. Just to be nice while in a matter of fact, you think that was the ugliest skirt you have ever seen in your entire life.
“Okay nice to meet you but Jungkook have to go somewhere. So, bye” with that you dragged Jungkook by his arm and to the car park without waiting for her reply. Leaving her there dumbfounded. While being dragged, Jungkook actually made a calling sign telling Jiwo that he’ll call later. To complete their project. Together.
“Geez, slowdown woman. What happened?” Jungkook asked sensing your ‘unusual mood’.
“Can we go shopping? I’ve been so stress today please?” you said making your signature puppy eyes.
“I can’t right now y/n. I have to complete the project I’m making with Jiwo today”
“Are you seriously dumping me right now. For that basic chick” you said with a puff. Kinda genuinely hurt that he is rejecting you.
“No baby, I wasn’t dumping you. This project is just very important for our grade. Come on you understand me right?” he said and you have no choice but to give in.
“Alright,,, I understand” you said while gently take his hand and just draw random things on his palm. One of your habit that he notices you do when you want reassurance from him.
“Come here” he said opening his arm to give you a big warm hug. “How about we go shopping tomorrow? I only have one lecture and it’s in the morning. What do you think” he said while rubbing your back.
“DEAL!” you said with a big smile and you look up at him and he leans in for a kiss.
“Alright baby boo see you tomorrow” he said and give you a last peck on your forehead.
“I love you” you said while snuggling your face on his chest for the last time.
“I love you too now go. Byee”
Jungkook quickly got back into the building trying to find Jiwo. He doesn’t even wait until you go. You shrugged the thought not wanting to acknowledge them because acknowledging them means you agree with your friends and that they were right about Jungkook and your ego is just too damn high to do that. You get into your car and start your car. Guess you’ll go shopping alone today. Since you had lowkey fought with your bestfriend just now. With a last sigh you make your way on the road.
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THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME TO READ THIS😭❤️PLEASE DO LET ME KNOW IF THERE'S IS ANYTHING THAT I CAN IMPROVE!! THANKS AGAIN!!!
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jaehyunsuh · 3 years
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nct ot23 reaction to: their s/o being shouted at by someone and the member defends them
the example will be: being yelled at by their choreographer because they are slow at a move.
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MASTERLIST
REQUESTS ARE: OPEN
feel free to come to my blog and express yourself about everything you want, i would love to interact ♡
he would just stay quiet and observe the situation for a while.
he would just stay quiet and observe the situation for a while.
he would just stay quiet and observe the situation for a while.
when he starts feeling angry he would talk to them.
“what’s wrong with you? we aren’t fast all the time and that’s okay. There’s no need to be rude, that won’t make them be faster.”
i think that when taeil is mad he must be scary👀
he would calm you down and say how well you were doing.
johnny
oh my god he is so freaking nice and chill all the time.
he would instantly feel bothered by the way you are being treated.
it wouldn’t take two seconds for him to come and defend you.
“Hey, I think that’s enough, they i’ll do better next time but you need to chill.”
he is a big and tall man, so the choreographer would legit think johnny is about to fight him lol.
he would take you out if there to make sure that you are okay.
he would be the cutest and would tell you how good you were.
taeyong
he would be shocked when he sees what the choreographer is telling you.
he would start to be worried about you.
“I don’t think is the way to make them be better, give them a break please.”
he would look at you with puppy eyes all the time to make sure that you aren’t upset.
he would sit next to you and rub your bag while telling you that you are the best dancer ever.
yuta
he would throw the darkest gaze to the choreographer right in the second that they were scolding you.
ready to fight.
“Why are you being like this? are you crazy? we all have bad days, if you feel like complaining do it with someone else.”
he would probably drag you out of there to
somewhere else to make sure that you are fine.
he would probably still mad because he doesn’t anyone to be rude to you😠
kun
he would be confused on why is this person being so rude rn.
protection mode activated
he would feel really impatient and annoyed because he doesn’ want anyone messing with you.
“Maybe we all should take a break a calm down. You are being professional, this isn’t the way you treat someone.”
he would hug you and tell that everything was okay and you were doing well.
he would be bitter towards the choreographer from now on lol.
doyoung
he would put on that cute angry face like when he was eating and ten was comparing him to a bunny, yes, that face lmao.
he would cross his arms and try to calm himself down because he doesn’t tend and doesn’t want to be rude to the choreographer.
“I think you shouldn’t say that to them, there’s better ways to point out what they are lacking.”
he would grab you and tell you that you should keep working hard because you are amazing and don’t listen to mean people because they are dumb.
forehead kiss.
ten
he would raise his eyebrow and pay attention to see if what is happening is real.
he would be lowkey offended by the choreography being like this with you.
“You have trained with tons of people so you know how things are, you are just being rude right now and not even paying attention on how to help them.”
he would be annoyed because he doesn’t want anyone to make you feel insecure.
by himself he would help you with the dance and would tell you how to improve.
jaehyun
I also think that when this man is mad it gets serious because he is so chill all the time.
he would become annoyed by the way that you are being treated.
ready to throw punches (no, jk)
“I’m sorry but you are being really rude right now and it makes no sense at all.l
he would take out of there.
he would put you close to his chest and tell you that you are doing amazing and you shouldn’t be treated badly.
he would be even more protective after this.
winwin
at first he wouldn’t know how to act and he would just be shocked.
he would start to feel impatient because he doesn’t like the way that you are being treated.
“I’m sorry, but this isn’t okay, you are being really mean to them. I think you should apologize.”
he would caress your hair softly and let you know that you were doing amazing.
jungwoo
his expression would be more like a ‘are you freaking kidding me?’
he would feel bitter because he knows how much effort you’ve put into this and how nice you are so he would think that this treatment is unfair.
“Who you think you are to talk to them like this? Fix yourself.”
he would tell you that everything is gonna be okay.
he would start making jokes so you could laugh and forget about the situation.
lucas
he would raise his eyebrow and put on an annoyed expression.
he would be ready to jump to the choreographer.
indignation, that’s what he would feel.
“You need to calm down, they have worked so hard all day and all you do is give non helpful comments.”
he would tell you that you are amazing and that the choreographer might be having a bad day and paying it on you.
he would give you a big hug.
mark
he would be just shocked, looking at everyone’s reactions to see if anyone is gonna say anything.
he would be worried because he doesn’t want you to be upset.
he would feel frustrated because he knows how hard you’ve been worked.
“I think you shouldn’t be treating them like this, you see them everyday and you know they work hard, just because they didn’t do well one time doesn’t give you the right to be mean.”
he would ask if you are okay and maybe buy you a drink because he is sweet like that.
he would tell you that you are the most hardworking person that he knows and that you just need to be strong.
xiaojun
he would have a really serious expression trying to analyze what’s going on.
he would feel impatient about the situation because he doesn’t want you to feel sad.
“This isn’t the way you should treat this isn’t going to help them at all.”
he would give you a big smile and tell you that you are a great dancer and things like this happen sometimes.
hendery
he would be really confused and he wouldn’t understand why the choreographer is treating you like that.
at first he wouldn’t know what to do because he doesn’t want to be rude, but later he would jumo to defend you.
“Hey, they are really hardworking and you know it, you shouldn’t be making such negative remarks.”
he would make sure that you feel fine.
he would give you a hug and maybe make a lot of jokes to make you feel better.
renjun
he would extremely bad because of this whole thing.
he doesn’t like people being unfair and this is happening and to his s/o, so he isn’t feeling chill.
I feel like he is one of the people to really stand up for the people that he cares about, so he’ll do that.
“I think the way you are treating them is not good at all, you aren’t being polite and just everything about this is wrong!”
you probably never seen him like this and you are shocked.
he would tell you that you never should let anyone be rude to you.
jeno
he seems so nice but he is one of thise who are also scary when mad because he is always a ball of fluff.
he would put on a really angry face and it would look like he is about to explode.
after all he is nice and polite so he would control himself to not say anything that he shouldn’t to the choreographer
haechan
he is fierce
he attacc
he would be extremely annoyed by this act if this happened to anyone.
if this happened to one of his members he would be the first one to speak up for them, but now that it’s you he can feel his blood burning.
“What are you even doing? you are a professional choreographer, you’ve worked with tons of people for years and you yet haven’t learn manners? don’t you know that you aren’t mean to people when trying to correct something.”
he would grab your hand and get you out there.
you don’t know if he is trying to calm you down or trying to calm himself down.
he would tell you that you need to speak up if anyone ever says something mean to you, mostly if he isn’t there to defend you.
jaemin
he would start to feel annoyed when he hearts the way this person is talking to you.
he is always really calm but in situations like this he wouldn’t be able to keep calm.
protection mode: on
“I’ve been watching you for a while and I think that they are doing well. Could you please just stop being so rude and start acting professional.”
he would give you a hug and tell you that you are the best dancer in the world.
he would leave kisses on your face so you feel better :(
yangyang
he would be startled and so confused that someone is being rude to you.
he would be a little upset because we doesn’t want you to be upset because if this.
“This isn’t the right way of correcting them, you need to be more nice when talking to people.”
he would give you a hug and a big smile letting you know that everything is gonna be okay.
shotaro
he would be shocked by it but he wouldn’t know what to do.
he seems a little shy for situations like this.
he would feel bad for you because he doesn’t want you to feel sad.
“Maybe we should calm down and take a break, like that they can rest and dance better.”
he would tell you that he is sorry that you went through that.
he would point out every great aspect of you.
he would tell you to stand up and would show you the choreography himself and point out where you can do a little better.
sungchan
he would be confused and wouldn’t exactly know what’s going on.
when he realizes he would pout and be sad for you.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I think that you are tense because you’ve been working for a long time, what if you take a little break.”
he would caress your hand
he would tell you that you are doing great.
chenle
he would put on that intimidating expression that he has.
he would feel soooo annoyed by it, like, no one messes with you!?!?!?
“What do you think you are doing? just because you teach us you think you have the right to come here and treat them wrong? this isn’t it.”
he would try to calm down.
he would tell you that you are insanely talented and that the choreographer is being an idiot for treating you like that.
jisung
oh my god he is so pure.
at fist he would be startled.
he would start feeling bad for you because he doesn’t want anyone measing with you and even less with your dancing.
“They have been working hard for hours, they must be tire by now, I think they should rest to be able to dance better.”
he would probably take you out of the room, sit down with you and tell you that you were doing amazing.
he would also ask you if you want him to helo you with the move that you were having trouble with.
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inkandpen22 · 3 years
Text
Permanent Chaos (1/?)
Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader
Warnings: Swearing 
Word Count: 2.8k
Part Summary: Y/N is a newly famous actress from a popular TV show and she’s willing to do everything in her power to maintain her perfect image as “America’s Sweetheart.” 
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The limelight is a hard place to be under. It’s draining to constantly be on display. Day in and day out I feel as though I’m always looking into a mirror. However, a mirror is replaced by people’s eyes. I see myself through other’s eyes. Being sat on a slippery plastic stool while being watched by millions of Americans before they head off to work is an excellent way to start my day. Perhaps if I keep telling myself that I’ll eventually believe it. Savannah glances down at her cards then continues with the interview.
“Let’s go back to a year ago, if someone approached you and said “you’ll be the most sought after girl in America,” would you had believed them?”
I shake my head “not all.”
If only she knew how absent I am in the current moment. I’ve answered similar questions a million times these past few months. All the exact same questions within the same routine.
“Now, being as famous as you are, how do you cope with your newfound fame?”
There it is, famous. A better-sounding word than popular. After all, adult life is nothing like high school… right?
“I don’t particularly like the word “famous.” When people say “you’re famous!” What they really mean is “a lot of people know you!” At least people think they do.”
She studies me, intrigued by my honest answer, perhaps too honest. “You’re saying America doesn’t know the “real” you? Including your fans?”
I shrug, I can only imagine Nicole’s face right now. My usual bubbly and charmingly excited personality didn’t wake up with me at three this morning.
“I believe they know whatever version of me they’ve created. For some, I’m that girl from the cover of that one magazine they saw in line at the grocery store. For others, I may just a name without a face. That’s the thing about being so-called “famous.” I’ll never have the chance to meet every single person who has ever read an article about me or has seen paparazzi videos. They’ll only see those tainted versions of me. They’ll never have the opportunity to know me personally and make a valid judgment for themselves.”
Savannah hums, her eyebrows scrunched up. “How do you feel about that?”
I sigh, the words settling within me. “It’s disappointing.”
If only they all knew the truth, the reality of it all.
______________________________________________________
After the interview for the show, I fly straight back to Los Angeles from New York. My schedule has been worse, but I never miss the chance to complain to my manager. Thankfully, Nicole is a mother of tween girls and a ten-year-old boy so she knows how to take my childish whining. Once we’re landed in LAX I countdown the minutes until I can return to my bed.
“I don’t understand why you insist on wearing heels on the plane,” Nicole nags me.
“Because you never know who you’re gonna meet! Best to dress nicely just in case!”
It’s been a rule of mine since I first discovered my style and began to wear makeup, never go out in public without looking and feeling confident. I’ve learned that people can sense when others don’t feel confident and take advantage of that.
“I doubt your Mom would like it,” she nags.
“Well she’s not in California is she?” I fire back but snicker slightly.
My momma’s absence was bitter-sweet, in the beginning, now it’s all sweet. When we have our luggage, Nicole leads me through the airport to where the car is picking us up.
“You may want to put on your sunglasses now. We’re about to cross the line,” she warns.
I grab my glasses out of my purse like she instructed and slide them on. She was right, as soon as we cross over that taped line it’s a free-for-all for the paparazzi.
“Y/N!” “Y/N!”
“HEY! SHOW US A SMILE!”
The yelling doesn’t bother me as it used to in the past. Now, it’s the clicking. The clicking from their cameras. A constant *click* *click* *click*, from each of the thirty cameras. Nicole attempts to create a path for me by walking ahead.
“HOW WAS YOUR TRIP TO NEW YORK?”
“Good, thank you” I reply politely with a smile toward the tile floor.
I try to manage a balance when it comes to paparazzi. They have their job and so do I. Following me, taking pictures or videotaping me is their job. As long as they respect me, I will respect them. Nicole says it’s good for my image. My image wasn’t the first reason I was nice toward them, I was being myself. Nowadays, I’m hardly myself. I have my name, Y/N Voss, but it no longer feels like my name. The paparazzi are not used to getting easy responses out of people because there’s a long pause before the next question.
“WHEN DOES FILMING START BACK UP FOR THE SHOW?”
The question comes from a different voice but that doesn’t keep me from answering.
“In two days!” I gleam, looking forward to returning to set.
“CAN YOU GIVE ANY INFO ABOUT THE NEW SEASON?”
I chuckle a little but think it over. I agreed in my contract not to give out spoilers but there is a little info I was told I can let out. Plus, I’ve only seen the script for the first episode so I don’t know too much.
“I can say that Hollyn will have a bump start this season but no worries,” I answer vaguely but with interest.
Nicole and I manage to reach outside and she guides me down the sidewalk to where the car is supposed to pick us up.
“RUMOR HAS IT YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE! CARE TO COMMENT?”
“I’m very much single,” I laugh, finding the topic humorous. “Not enough hours in the day to share them!”
There are always rumors that I’m dating someone though none of it’s true.
“YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY Y/N!”
“YOU ALWAYS DO!”
“Thanks, boys!” I give my appreciation. 
The driver gets out of the front and pops the trunk. Nicole informs me to get in the car and let her worry about our things along with the driver.
“WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE SUMMER?”
I open my door but pause to answer the last question. “Work, of course, but I also want to have some fun.”
“HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!”
“SEE YA LATER Y/N!”
They all hurry to get some last shots and I grant them a couple of seconds.
“You too! See you guys later!” I wave goodbye then climb into the car.
Nicole gets in a minute later and gives the driver the address. “You did great back there,” she compliments.
“Eh, it was nothing. I was only answering their questions.” I remove my glasses and get settled in as best as I can for the hour drive home.
She pulls out her binder full of scheduling material for me.
“Yes, but you were willing and kind. The public and media appreciate that! You’re becoming America’s Sweetheart!”
I would never admit it to Nicole but that title she keeps pushing makes me anxious every time I hear it. None of this was planned, it was thrown at me. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m grateful for what I have but geez! When everyone is telling you a whole country adores you, how are you supposed to handle that? Especially at eighteen. It was no more than a year ago I was back in South Carolina and just another girl in high school. Now, I’m supposed to be “America’s Sweetheart.” I’ll play the part but it doesn’t make the job any less intimidating.
__________________________________________________________
My best friends/co-stars, Sam and Penelope, meet up with me for dinner to celebrate my first night back in town after the press tour. The three of us have been dividing our time around the country working on various projects between filming the show. Any time we can all get together is a gift.
Ever since I’ve known Sam Merka, girls flung themselves at him. Even I’ll say it, he’s a good-looking guy. If Grant Gustin had a younger brother, it would be Sam. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, we’re just friends. A sibling sort of bond. Since he’s eight years older than me, he likes a big brother.
Though Penelope is older too, one can’t tell since I tend to act more mature. I’m jealous of her sun-kissed long blonde hair and dark brown eyebrows. We all kinda got thrown into our friendship. Having to play life-long friends an hour after meeting for the first time was, to say the least interesting. Five years later, and we are like three peas in a pond. A mini family to have each other’s back in the big city.
For dinner, we agreed on The Nice Guy, an Italian place in West Hollywood. The most important aspect of the place is the amount of privacy it grants. The interior is a lounge, super lowkey, with booths, couches, and coffee tables but there are no photos allowed. Since no photos can be taken that means the three of us and others can enjoy ourselves in peace. Sam called dibs on being designated driver as per usual as the “bodyguard” for us girls. The paparazzi tend to hang out around the restaurant because it’s a well-known spot for celebrities.
“Maybe we can slip past them,” Sam says optimistically as we exit the car.
He meets me around the front and Penelope joins us after getting out of the backseat.
“HEY! HEY! HEY!”
From in front of the restaurant, a ripple of cameras begin to take notice of us.
“IT’S THE KIDS FROM THE SEASONS OF LIFE!”
“Yep, we really snuck past them!” I tease Sam playfully.
He huffs, annoyed with the situation. Sam loves his job but hates the lack of privacy aspect. He isn’t a fan of crowds either which I can understand. However, he’s great at masking it behind his charming smile. It’s what we were trained to do. Yet, Sam is better at managing a crowd mentally overall than I am. He understands how they affect me sometimes. The swarm of photographers rushes up to us. Sam leads the way toward the restaurant door. Penelope remains close, keeping a hand on my forearm to stay together. The cluster follows us down the sidewalk to the building.
“SAM! SAM! HEARD ABOUT THE GQ PHOTOSHOOT! CONGRATS ON GETTING THE COVER MAN!”
Sam chuckles next to me, “thanks, dude!”
“PENELOPE! RUMOR HAS IT YOU’LL BE SWITCHING OVER TO THE BIG SCREEN!”
“Exactly, it’s a rumor!” She replies a matter-of-factly.
The *click* *click* *click* and the flashing lights in the dead of night never fail to overwhelm me. Though, Nicole has told me I never appear overwhelmed when I interact with them. I force on the brave and confident face. I’m not me when I’m in front of cameras or important people, I’m Y/N Voss. I’m two very different people.
While I’m lost in thought, I get stuck when one photographer gets too close to my face with his camera and blinds me for a second. Sam and Penelope don’t notice my absence amongst the chaos until another photographer barks at the other to back off. Then, I feel Sam’s hand slip into mine and he protectively escorts me toward the door with determination.
“ANYTHING YOU TWO WANT TO SHARE ABOUT HOLLYN AND ELLIOT FOR NEXT SEASON?”
Hollyn and Elliot are Sam and my’s characters from The Seasons of Life, the show we star in together. Our characters have been on again off again for the past two seasons. According to the last season’s finale, the two are currently together, but of course, the season ended on a cliffhanger so their relationship isn’t very stable.
“Sorry guys, can’t share anything!” Sam answers, sounding a tad irritable.
“ANYTHING IN REAL LIFE? YOU TWO WERE BOTH IN NEW YORK THIS WEEKEND!”
“That’s true, but we never have the chance to meet up!” I reply nicely.
Press events for last season have come to an end and work officially begins in no time! Downtime for me is filming and it couldn’t come at a better time. I’ve missed being home in Los Angeles. Living out of a suitcase and sleeping each night on a plane isn’t the best way to live, at least for me. We finally reach the doors and I thank the heavens.
“Oh my gosh! There’s no way!” I hear what sounds like girls squealing and I slow down to see where it’s coming from. My hand slips from Sam’s as he goes on. When he’s determined to get away from the paparazzi, he can ignore the voices. Yet, when he notices that I do not follow he finally stops.
“Excuse me!” A girl calls amongst the clicking and shouting.
The paparazzi move aside a tad and create a path for me to see two young teens jumping up and down. They must be around fourteen I’m guessing, younger than me at least. I approach them to see what’s the matter. I can hardly see anything with all the bright lights.
“Hi! How are you?” I greet but once I get closer and cover my eyes with the flashing lights, I recognize them. “Sarah! Emma! How are you two?”
These two have been some of my biggest supports. They run a Youtube channel and create content about their reactions to episodes of the series. Somehow they manage to make appearances at any events relating to the show. I’ve met them numerous times at events, so have other members of the cast. Besides being two of the sweets girls in the world, they’ve created a fan page for me on Instagram and Twitter.
“Good, good!” Emma replies eagerly.
“It’s been so long since we last saw you!” Sarah adds.
“It really has! When was the last time we saw each other? During the press tour?”
They nod in unison as though they’ve rehearsed it.
“Well, group hug!” I hold out my arms and they gladly accept.
“Can we get a picture?” Emma practically begs, bouncing on her heels.
“Of course!” I take Emma’s phone and hold it out to the crowd of paparazzi. “Could one of you take our picture by chance?”
Many of the guys offer and I select a random one in front of me.
“Squeeze in tight!” I tell the girls as I stand between them and we wrap our arms around each other.
“One, two, three!” The man takes a couple of shots and hands, Emma, back her phone.
“Thank you!” The three of us say together.
We all hover over her phone to check out the pictures.
“So cute!” I awe at the photos.
“Y/N...” Sam places his hand on my back to usher me along.
“Oh, my-” Emma covers her mouth.
“Sam!” Sarah’s jaw is to the sidewalk.
“Hey girls!” he charmingly smiles.
He’s had the chance to meet them a few times while on the press tour and at other various events. I was there to introduce them which was one of the most entertaining moments of my life. I thought the girls were going to faint!
“Can we ask a quick question? It’s for our channel!” Sarah nervously bites her lower lip.
“Yeah, yeah, anything for you guys!” I answer without hesitation.
Sam wraps his arm around my waist while we’re talking to the girls and I don’t think much of it but the cameras begin to go nuts. The men behind them don’t say a word since we’re occupied but there they go *click* *click* click*.
“Is there any hope of you two getting together IRL?” Emma questions intently without hesitation.
I press my lips together with amusement and turn my head to Sam. He has the same look of pondering the question. He squints his eyes at me and then the two of us turn to the girls.
“Just friends,” we answer in unison.
“Best friends!” Sam adds playfully.
“Best friends forever ever!” I one-up him.
The two girls laugh with us, but it’s clear they’re a little disappointed.
“Well, I still bet on you two,” Sarah confidently points out.
Sam and I get a kick out of it. Our viewers want us together too.
“We better get going, our moms are waiting,” Emma informs us.
“Okay, quick hug!” I order and the four of us group hug.
We say our goodbyes and when the girls disappear the men behind the cameras start yelling.
“YOU’RE GREAT Y/N!”
“HOW DID YOU KNOW THEM?”
“Their names are Emma and Sarah. They run a popular Youtube channel, Twitter, and Instagram accounts for the show. Super sweet girls those two!”
“DO YOU KNOW ALL YOUR FANS?”
“I try to! I know a good amount!” I grin proudly.
Sam guides me into the restaurant and his hand never leaves my back. All of it is platonic of course, nothing more. As I told the paparazzi before, there isn’t enough time in my life for me to share any with someone.
 ________________________________________
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Tags:  @canyoubuymetoast
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