#i think someone ik needs this but im not sure so just in case

[agayconcept]

.

#ugh the eternal debate #both my stomach & autism have decided today is a Safe Foods Only day #the issue is i have no safe foods in my apartment bc i normally get groceries tomorrow #so normally i would just choose (when able) to wapk 2 streets over and buy a $5 lunch from a local shop that ik i can eat #howeverrrr theres an air quality advisory issued rn and oh boy can u feel it. i mean able-bodied ppl prob cant but i fuckin sure as shit ca #so mmmmmmm im in a dilemma to end all dilemmas bc #either i try to force myself to eat something i have here that will def make me nauseous for the next 12-24 hours #or try to walk and get something i Can eat but hurt my lungs in the process & maybe end up needing to call for a cab if i cant make it back #ughahshsjsje #why today of all days #whY #(and no i cant afford to order something. not an option. unless someone wants to paypal me $5 lmao in which case sure. otherwise im fucked) #((im j o k i n g im not asking for money)) #(((unless someone is feeling extremely bored and generous today in which case i would potentially consider it lol))) #*walk #*can #no i will not go back and correct my typos who do u think i am #bleh. today is all around a bad time

[elsfairy]

OVERPROTECTIVE ⋯ ♡ᵎ (listen, I know I've been on my sub sevika shit for a while and haven't done top sevika for a bit, but I'm doing it now m'kay? I also fell asleep doing this last night, so ik im late but i had to finish it lololol)

☆ At the start of knowing her, she did not care. Shit, she didn't even give you a single glance or word. She stuck to herself, and her job alone.

☆ Well, she tired but you always had stupid questions to ask.

☆ You found something amazing? great, she didn't care. You did something fun? cool, she still didn't care. You wanted to talk to her? nice, she didn't want to talk to you.

☆ You're hyper. You're always happy, so you couldn't really see her being really dismissive of you and with her behavior, or you did but you just loved annoying her.

☆ "Can you go annoy someone else? i have shit to do"

☆ "But why? i feel safe here, with you"

☆ It was normal for her to become more closed off after that. Not because you scared her, she's just never been told that they are safe around/with her. It was... different.

☆ Of course, she can't ignore your ass for too long because she cannot stand people harassing you, or making you uncomfortable.

☆ If she's in a good mood she will sometimes laugh at your jokes. She's also the only one allowed to piss you off or bother you. So when she noticed someone else deliberately upsetting you, it pisses her off.

☆ Being around an angry Sevika was something that you understood shouldn't happen. As much as she acted like she hated you, she didn't want you around her purely because she didn't want to scare you.

☆ "Get her out, or you'll be the next one to end up like this if you don't"

☆ She refuses to let you walk around Zaun, alone. She wasn't sure what could happen if she was not with you at all times.

☆ Sevika is the type of person to not show her emotions, but always checks your face for cuts, bruises, or blood whenever she sees you next. Constantly checking you over in case you decided to not listen to her about going out, alone.

☆ "I'm fine, you don't have to keep⎯"

☆ "Yes i do. You're in your own world most of the time. I need to keep you safe."

☆ You weren't fully sure, but just maybe that was her way of saying she gave a crap about you. Although with Sevika, anything she says could mean literally anything else, it made you smile anyway.

☆ If you're at the bar together, she's with you. Breathing down your damn neck, letting people know you're not to be messed with. Even a small glance at you, and she's ready to punch someone.

☆ She wasn't controlling of you, and of what you wanted to do. But if you were wanting to go off and do something, she's wanting to know so she can be with you & keep you safe.

☆ If she feels like you're too far from her, she's dragging you extra close. Holding your hand without really thinking and knowing. Just knows that she cannot let you out of her sight.

☆ "Do not go anywhere without me, do you understand?"

☆ "Yes, Vika"

#sevika imagine #sevika x you #arcane sevika #sevika #sevika x reader #sevika headcanon

[starrynightzie]

I mostly wanted this acc to be specifically for art, not rly for anything else but i need to get this off my chest. Obviously if you’ve been on twitter, you’ve probably seen a lot (and i mean a LOT) of hate towards gay ships/shippers recently, (first w togachako, then w stsg) i wanna address all the weird shit thats been happening w jjk dudebros lately. Idk what it is but they’re rly upsetti spaghetti abt even the mere thought of stsg being more than platonic besties, going so far as to shoot down any hint of them being romantically inclined in the slightest - so i thought that i’d take it upon myself to provide poof that stsg has queer, romantic subtext since ppl are being extremely obtuse abt them, all for the sake of protecting their friendship from us evil gays. (other shippers do this too but im mostly focusing on dudebros bc they’re the ones primarily acting like assholes to us for no reason, like yeah, sure, some stsgs are extremely cringey & weird but that can be said for ANY shipper in ANY fandom. When you’re in a fandom as big as this, of course there’s gonna be some bad eggs, it’s inevitable.

ok so. !!DISCLAIMER!! i do not speak japanese, so if i say something incorrect then please correct me. i’ve done enough research to be sure that what im saying is right, but im only human, and sometimes, i might be wrong. so, take what im abt to say with a grain of salt. (just in case).

first off, it should be stated that gege akutami, the creator himself, is an avid bl fan (and ik what ur thinking, ‘oh, that doesn’t mean anything! just bc u read bl, it doesn’t mean you’re likely to write gay relationships into ur own manga!’ which is true, gege HAS said that he doesn’t want to write romance in jjk. HOWEVER, as much as i love stsg & see them in a romantic light, i do definitely think that the reason why their relationship feels so ambiguous is bc gege intentionally made it that way. i think he made their relationship up to the individual’s interpretation. And for ppl who’re thinking ‘why would he do that?’ well, he doesn’t like writing romance, right? so this is the next best thing he could do. and also i have to point out (in case ppl get defensive), gege literally does not and will never care if ppl ship stsg or not, again, he’s a bl fan and if anything - all of the evidence that im going to talk abt proves that he most likely ships stsg himself, so… 🤷‍♂️

2. i’d like to talk about s2’s op & ed which are HEAVILY romantically coded. If you don’t know, the op was written to be from gojo’s pov & vice versa with geto for the ed, the op in particular is a very special case. The song is explicitly abt reminiscing the past , wishing gojo had noticed geto’s sorrow sooner and it also mentions a ‘silent love’. the word ‘love’ being used here is ‘koi’ which EXCLUSIVELY means romantic love… now, since this song was specifically written with gojos pov in mind, doesnt it seem kind of weird to have the word for ‘romantic love’ in there?? (koi can be referred to as ‘young love’ or having a ‘crush’ on someone…. hm… ThAts WeIrD.) instead of using ‘ai’??? which would make more sense if stsg were just besties bc ai is more general and can be used towards friends & family.

and then ofc there’s the whole theme of ‘blue spring’. director park (who directed s1 & jjk 0) has stated in an interview that geto was gojo’s last warm spring of youth. now if you dont know, spring of youth/blue spring means a time in a young person’s life where they have hope and happiness… in animanga, it often means falling in love too… so judging by this, it seems very likely that gojo perhaps developed feelings for geto during their teen years together. Director park has also mentioned in an interview that gojo & geto’s relationship goes beyond ‘friendship’ & being ‘familial’. 👀

3. another clear indicator of gojo being in love w geto is the whole ‘love is the most twisted curse of all’ spiel he said to yuta. ‘but he could mean platonic love!!’ idk, considering yuta had romantic feelings for rika and hes discussing them with gojo & gojo knows this, dont u think it’d be a bit weird for him to mention geto here too? if they were just best friends?? (that’s not even mentioning the fact that gojo & geto’s relationship is supposed to parallel yuta & rika’s in jjk 0…)

4. and then ofc we have gojo saying his last words to geto, which were censored. now, correct me if im wrong but the ONLY times ive ever seen inaudible dialogue being mouthed to another character is when its a love confession mostly seen in romance anime. and like, there’s also no need at all for gojo’s last words to be censored in the first place. (although, i do suspect that his last words may play a major role in the future when he faces kenjaku.) what solidifies it for me being a love confession is that, 1. geto blushed after gojo said whatever it is that he said to him, (only in the manga tho, idk why they didnt make him blush in the movie but its whatever.) and geto replies with, depending on the translation, ‘at least curse me a little at the very end’ or ‘you should at least curse me at the end’. which heavily implies that gojo said something extremely sweet & heartfelt to him as his final words. and if thats not enough to convince u that gojo’s last words were indeed a love confession.. gojo’s eng VA HIMSELF, said that his last words when translated into english means three words… im not saying that gojo’s last words were specifically ‘i love you’ or anything like that, but i am definitely sure that whatever he said was a love confession/something very romantic in nature. bc why else would gege choose to draw geto blushing?? that wouldnt make any sense.

gojo also killed geto on the 24th of december, which in japan, is the most romantic day of the year & couples in japan treat christmas eve as kinda like a separate valentines day. even in the jjk manga recently, gojo offered to fight on dec 24th & kenjaku mocks him by saying how romantic it is… even gege himself acknowledges how romantic christmas eve is in japan, this enforces the idea that gege must’ve chosen dec 24th for a reason, bc why else would he have picked an extremely romantic date as not only the day where he fights kenjaku who is inhabiting geto’s body, but also making it the day geto died?? yall have to remember that all of this has been planned out by gege, none of it is a coincidence… he didn’t just come up with all of this on the spot, he’s been planning this stuff & thinking about it for literal years.

5. and finally, probably the BIGGEST piece of evidence there is, geto & gojo’s character songs. gege chose romantic break up songs for BOTH of them.. like im sorry but if stsg were rly truly only best friends, he would not have chosen those songs for them, it just doesnt make any sense.

conclusion: obviously, this probably isn’t every subtextually romantic thing about stsg’s relationship but these are all the things that i’ve noticed. again, if you see their relationship as purely platonic then that’s fine but don’t be assholes to people for seeing romantic subtext that’s quite clearly there. if i have missed anything out then please let me know and i’ll edit them into the post.

#jujutsu kaisen #sorcery fight #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #geto suguru #suguru geto #stsg #satosugu #sugusato #jjk analysis

[mrswint3rs]

This is not an attack, more like a rant of my own but you see how you say everything is okay except for stuff with minors? You understand that some people’s limits are a little bit above just stuff involving minors?

You recognize that repulse you feel, that icky feeling, the feeling that you want to puke and you need to say, need to clarify that stuff with minors is not okay and shouldn’t exist?

Well some people feel the exact same repulse and icky feeling and the NEED to say that it shouldn’t exist when it comes to rape and incest.

I find it mind boggling that people are told to ignore, block and move on… and the same people will FOR SURE tear someone to shreds if someone wrote pedo stuff (rightfully so!) but don’t people understand that for rape and incest it’s the same thing? At least for a good chunk of people?

Like just IMAGINE being told to ignore, block and move on when someone is writing about minors, it’s icky, disgusting.

triggering topic warning!

i understand what you’re saying. (im terrible at wording things but) this is part of my point. Like when I find something involving a minor, no i don’t attack a writer directly or anon message. Yes its vile, but doing that is doing way more harm than good.

A lot of people are arguing the more you do attack, the more they’ll write. I agree. Which is why i think the solution is to block and move on. Im not trying to invalidate.

Attacking a writer for whatever topic it may be only encourages. Anon hate does no good because really who wants to listen to a stranger tell them not to do something?

i cant remember the account, but there was a minor on here who wrote incest about other minors. She got hate especially on anon and what did she do? Replied to the anon with more of what triggered them.

Another thing, like i said in the previous rant, the more you interact with darker content, by sending it, visiting the blog, commenting wtv, the more it will show up on your feed. That’s why ive said to block and move on if you dont want to see the content. The more you do to prevent these things (which for non-con, incest, rape topics and wtv else gets nothing but a community label) the more you’re pulling it towards yourself.

And not to be that person, but those types of fanfics have been around since forever, on ao3 especially. Part of the reason there’s been more lately is because of the complaints.

There’s also people who need to learn to read warnings above fics and on intro pages before interacting. I’ve seen people saying how a fic was super cute until they realized it had incest. I understand that repulsive feeling, but the warnings are there 9/10. Like i said, if they aren’t, there’s easy ways to ask the writer to include them.

It’s all about your own morals. Some people think writing for minors is okay, while you don’t. Some people may enjoy bdsm, and you don’t. Some may find comfort in writing for trauma kinks while you find it gross. Regardless of you find it wrong, the writers may not. In some cases that may mean they need professional help or something, but that isn’t your job to push. Either way, harassment to this degree is childish and does not fix anything. Only draws things out further.

Would we really do half the shit we write about in fanfiction in real life? Like if Leon was real, do you think he would realistically even have children? I don’t think he would. But it is fiction (ik that’s a very common argument but the point still stands) if the character was real, none of this shit would go down irl. This includes vanilla kinks - hard kinks.

Again, I see your point but I hope you understand what i mean by this.

EDIT (again sorry i keep adding on😭)- id like to point out how this anon was respectful even though they’re arguing their views. and not calling REAL people literal slurs and telling people to die for it.

#more yapping #fanfiction #dead dove do not eat #tw.incest #tw dark content

[eternalera]

okay im gonna say a problem thats really been bagging at me. and its 'the angels are bad because they dont know what gets someone into heaven shtick'

but like... we do know? we know that you have to be a good person and not a douchbag (ik adams in heaven but im assuming that he was good at first and then turned evil although this is just an assumption)

like sir pentious was the least problematic out of the cast (that could go to heaven) and he did end up getting redeemed. so we know that you have to be a good person now do we know what qualifies as 'good'? no.

but actually counter argument, do we know what qualifies as bad? because if good and bad are opposites of each other then in order to be considered 'good' you just dont have to be bad. if its considered 'bad' not to steal then dont steal. if its considered 'bad' not to lie then dont lie.

does hell know what gets a demon down there? we dont know. all we know is that heaven doesnt know what qualifies someone as good. not to mention im pretty sure that they aren't in charge if whether or not a soul passes the pearly gates. im pretty sure thats some higher being.

cause you could say its the seraphims but uh

sera and emily seemed pretty darn shocked the sir pentious (a sinner) was there in the first place so its clear that they were never really in charge of who enters heaven so while yes this made the court case kinda... pointless- i dont think that this made them evil.

charlie didnt know what made a soul able to enter heaven either and while yes she isnt heaven born so she would have no reason to need to know it still makes me groan every time it comes up because like-

you clearly dont know what makes a soul enter heaven either. and these seraphims are more than clearly not in charge of it so how does that make them evil?

im sorry this is such a rant but im trying

point is that i dont see why it instantly makes heaven the 'bad guys' in the fact that they dont know what makes a soul able to enter heaven. especially the seraphims. its clear that theyre not in charge of who enters heaven so theyve had no reason to know that stuff. theyve had no reason to know why a soul passes the pearly gates. they never thought of redemption so why does that make them the bad guys (also before you go off its clear the emily never thought of it although she is willing to give it a try being more open minded). its a new idea that most likely might throw off the balance of heaven in some way so yes some people are scared to try it. it doesnt make them bad

anyways i think thats it... idrk feel free to add more ig

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #sera hazbin hotel #sera the seraphim #emily hazbin hotel #heaven #heaven hazbin hotel #this is so incoherent #but fuck it we ball #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin rant #analysis #kinda

[jiloop]

*jumps in here like a maniac* HELLO IM HERE AND I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON YOUR OMORI AU

of course, we need a Mari. well, if the brothers fill the role of the trio following Leo, what if April is Mari? I know this was probably easy to figure out but she is an older sister to them, but i still think it would be fun. feel free to null this if you dont want to include a mari like scenario but im just spitballing ideas

one of the main things on my mind is the three fears that Sunny had, so what if Leo's were agoraphobia (fear of open spaces (prison dimension)), nyctophobia (fear of the dark (once again the prison dimension)), and atichyphobia (fear of failure (self explanatory)). i wonder how these would manifest, ill leave that up to you to figure out how they look if youre up for it

so we all know something. as in Something, the creature haunting Sunny. what if it was a vague shape of kraang prime. and the tree where we find the last note looks like the empire state building and the portal. i think that could be very very fun

would leo have a different name in headspace like Omori? or are we keeping leo?

thank you for reading ik this is a lot i just had ideas and i wanted to share. feel free to null any of these, i just had ideas and started hyperfixating on your au. thank you for the lovely art and make sure to take care of yourself

THANK YOUUU!! I love all the ideas and suggestions aaaa!! <33

I never considered the fears they completely slipped my mind thank you for that!! T0T

I’ve been switching between Raph and April ngl, April gives a lot of Aubrey vibes as well as Mari.

I know Mari is a huge role in omori but in this case it feels hard to kill someone off for the sake of Leo’s guilt, I have an idea now of who would make the most sense to kill off but I don’t wanna 😭

[chryblossomjjk]

Do you have any advice on how to make friends? Like in general? It’s something I really struggle with. Having no one to talk to or confide in really takes a toll on me.

hi friend! first of all i want to let you know that so many people have been in this same exact situation, including myself. it is not indicative of your value as a person, not at all. you are so worthy of mutually beneficial friendships.

of course, putting yourself out there helps. putting yourself in social situations and making attempts to talk to people can lead to friendships. for instance, i’ve made lifelong friends at my job and my college. you can start small, by complimenting somebodys outfit. last semester, someone in my class had sanrio stickers on his laptop. i pointed it out as a shared interest and then after a few weeks of talking in class we started hanging out after class. however, i understand that that can be extremely intimidating and not always feasible though.

so if that’s the case, i think the internet is a great place to make friends. sure, you might not be able to see internet friends as much as you would an irl friend, however, they can be just as/if not more comforting. so in that regard, i would say find something you’re interested in: a fandom, anime, books, whatever it may be and just make an account. start small, send anons and find people who you feel comfortable with, and then reach out to them. ik this community doesn’t always have the best rep, but so many people on here would welcome you with open arms. hell, you just made a friend in me and if you feel comfortable, please message me. im here for you if you need it.

give it some time. what you’re feeling is a temporary and normal part of just being human. things are always changing and you will find your circle, your found family, your friends. you deserve that and you are loved and cherished even if you don’t feel like you are. manifesting you the best 💗

#anon #this actually made me so sad because i understand this feeling completely #and it’s really such a heavy sadness #but coming from the other side #i promise you it’s temporary #i promise #💗

[canayams-art]

yikes ik it's been a while, and trust me ive been meaning to talk more about qianqing, but the uni exams started and now i FINALLY found some free time (and a sticky note at the back of my brain reminding me) to talk 😭

also before anything SEASON 2 LOOKS SOOOO FREAKING GOOOD!! like in absolutely in love with mq and i thought i couldn't love him more but i was fortunately proven wrong ! also it dragged me back into fengqing so there's that hensndkeknd it only took few hot shots of fx and yeah i hate that i love them again but i do and there's nothing i can do about it but accept 😔✊ I HAD SUCH HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR LQQ AND HE MET EVERY ONE OF THEM SJDJDJD HE LOOKS SO BABY and speaking of him, im sooooo curious what was your favorite lqq scene??

you seem to have read my thoughts when you answered my last ask because THOSE WERE EXACTLY THE SCENES I IMAGINED THEM IN!! mq nagging lqq about paperwork, friendly sparring, lqq sticking around mq during events in the heaven iejejekejej gods i wish i have more time so i can write something for them because this hasn't stopped itching my brain for weeks 😭

i also raise you that they go on missions together, because once mq gets comfortable and once he notices that lqq keeps inviting him, even if he doesn't need the help, he would invite lqq simply for the company!

lqq meeting fy on his purse of revenge could go into sooo many different directions!! like does lqq figure out fy is out on defending mq's name quest and is conflicted because he wants to help but also killing qr takes priority rn? does he try to convince fy to work together?? now i wanna explore every crevice of that meeting and make like thousands fics for it!!

(it's not out of the question, ive done aus out of my own aus! im sure if i find the time i could do this as well😭)

the thing about qiurong for me, as it is with many ships in big fandoms, it feels very forced ig by the fandom? i don't think im wording it correctly, but for me i usually don't end up liking many of those ships because it feels like people would just smush two characters together because they ran out of characters they can pair them with. and it's not necessarily a bad thing, but in this case the most im seeing from qiurong is fluffy family aus, which would never come to mind for me when i think about qr and lqq in a room together. again not a bad thing, not a bad ship, but personally not my cup of tea.

i do have to admit tho, im always kinda leaning towards more canon characterization, so i do have a particular tastes in ships i do ship and in definitely not one of the people who would read anything they can from the ships i like. so i think i wouldn't have gave up so quickly on quirong if i found something that suits my taste, because i do like both of their characters separately.

EXPLORING THE SIDE CHARACTERS RELATIONSHIPS IS ALWAYS THE BEST PART IN ANY FANDOM FOR ME!!! especially as someone whose faves are usually the side characters lol the creativity and the freedom of interpretation, diving deeper into them and putting them into situations and having to think about how they would act in them sjsjjsjd makes me crazy every time!

IVE SEEN YOUR LQQ/SQX ART AND OMG I WAS KICKING MY FEET ON MY BED LIKE A KID! EJJEJEEJ IT WAS SOO PRETTY!! GENUINELY LIVED IT! 😍😍😍

WELCOME BACK QIANQING ANON!! Best of luck with your exams! Make sure you find time to take breaks and rest your brain when you can!

For real though season 2 has been such a treat so far— visually stunning and so fun to watch. I know what you mean about sinking back into fengqing hell while watching it. I’ve been in the same position— once you go fengqing you can never leave fengqing. They’re still so important to me 🥹🥹🧡

ALSO LQQ IS JUST AS ENDEARING AND CHARMING AS I HOPED HE WOULD BE. The way he’s so expressive and always so honest— he wears his feelings at all times and it’s always been one of my favorite qualities of his. Also asking me to choose a fav lqq scene is cruel— I love them ALL!!! From his intervention in the gambler’s den and subsequent fight with Hua Cheng, to the way Xie Lian still wrangles him like they’re still teacher & student, to lqq’s “if I hadn’t stepped in, nobody else would,” to the anger and pain in his voice as he broke his own arm to make a fair duel against xl,,,,, there’s so many good scenes!!!!

I’m bouncing all of these qianqing scenarios around in my head but I’m also especially intrigued by a fy & lqq encounter. If lqq was already close with mq when he was put under house arrest, I don’t know if lqq would be able to ignore that— even if he was still hellbent on revenge against qr. Maybe lqq doesn’t recognize mq in fy’s form— his decision to help would come across as so much more sincere like that, I think. Mq isn’t even present but lqq— who is still so jaded by his own quest— still thinks so highly of mq,,,,,,, I think mq would be taken aback by the gesture. Meanwhile lqq knows what it’s like to be wronged and want to set things right— he can empathize.

I’m shaking your hands on the qiurong sentiments— again, I think it’s fun for people to explore ships however they want. I don’t really like it so I don’t really engage with it. They don’t scratch the right type of enemies to lovers tropes that I usually like and that’s okay! I’ll be peddling my lqq content off in the corner while people have fun in their spaces.

I think it’s okay and important to be selective about how you enjoy your media! Not every piece of art or fic was made to be universally enjoyed and that’s okay! Personally I’m with you on focusing on characterization— If I feel like my silly lil guys would not say the words being put in their mouths then usually I put what I’m looking at down and move onto something else.

We’re alike in side character enjoyment too LMAO. Not to analyze it too hard but— for me at least— I think it comes down to how much they have or have not been explored and the intrigue that comes with that possibility. In more deranged words: they’re chewier! It’s like you said— it’s fun to try and figure out how they would behave in unwritten scenarios.

I’m glad you liked my autumn wind piece!!! I’d never drawn sqx before so that was exciting. I’ve been quietly enjoying people’s reactions to it while hiding so many other lqq rarepair ideas in my pockets 🤫😂

#yams uncans #qianqing #thinking about fy and lqq teaming up and crying about it actually 🥺 #also sorry I’m so late responding to this wow

[fuckedamygdala]

first time i’m actually trying to get one of my posts out there on this account bc my other posts i want to keep to myself but

does anyone know why i have such distressing and constant obsessive and intrusive thoughts , i wasn’t sure what they were called but i talked to my therapist about how i constantly feel like i’m going to die . how yesterday i had a 5 hour breakdown that i thought i was going to be killed if i left my house the next day . she said i have obsessive and intrusive thoughts

i havw a routine of thinfs i say to myself every night , it started off innocent but gradually i believed it was the thing keeping me alive so every night i try to talk and discuss how i am going to be safe and everyone around me that i love are going to be safe , if i say it wrong i have to repeat it , one time i even repeated everything i said again just because i thought i got through the whole thing without thinking anything bad and i thought it was too good to be true . i literallt think of violent images of things that could go wrong when saying that i want everything to be ok and i get terrified , even if i say everything right if i get a bad image while talking i’ll do it again . deep down i know doing this isn’t helping me but i do it in case because i fully believe it’s helping me .

even stupid stuff too , i was on the floor sobbing bc i have a shelf you can move bc it’s on the floor and i must have accidentally bumped it slightly out of place when doing my bed . anyway , that night i have a light (ik it’s childish but my thoguhts get worse in the dark) and bc the shelf was the slightest bit off it casted a weird shadow and i thought a person could sneak in next to the shadow and kill me , and i thought of other reasons that it could kill me , even just the fact that it was wrong made me feel in danger . i sobbed on the floor and tried to move it back , it was heavy and every time i moved it it would end up in another wrong place and i got even more upset . before i needed my door open a tiny slit so i could see my landing for a danger but not open enough that i could be seen back , i remember when my mom had to stand outside my door fixing where it was for ages bc i needed to know how it looked from my bed . then i’d stare at it once it was in the place to see if it is right and desperately fix it myself if it isn’t . even when there isn’t a danger bc i didn’t do something right , i think there are just people about to kill me when i leave the house , or if i get too mean to someone i feel like they’re going to kill me . and i get angry a lot

everyday i prepare for if someone is going to kill me

overall , i know this is not my bpd rn , bc i have bpd but i really dont know why im like this i just feel insane . i really wish i had good mental health because i feel like i never have any peace and i’m constantly trying to avoid death . i feel like i’m living in final destination

[koalacolbss]

If Only You Were Mine <3 Pt 1

{A Colby Brock Fluff}

I looked at Colby as he sat there at his desk with his head down sleeping ofc. aaah classic colby always sleeping... I guess I should begin with who I am. My name is y/n, m/n, l/n. And Iv'e been best friends with Cole Robert Brock, Sameul John Golbach, and Katrina Stuart for about 7 years now, we all met back in 4th grade.

Sam, Colby and Kat have all known each other longer but that's when I met them. I guess you could say they took me in, yeah that's it really, they took me under there arms when my abusive dad kicked me out. I was the only one in the friend group who was single, although iv'e liked colby for years i never got the courage to ask him out and one day he got a girlfriend, also known as my best friend, in most stories like this people say it was the friends fault cuz they knew you liked them but in this case it was mine, and when i told her i liked him she felt horrible because she was already with him and didnt want to hurt him so we stayed friends and they stayed dating.

Yeah..it sorta hurts to walk inside and hear her moaning his name when in your head you think it should be you. I live with sam colby and kat its cool i guess i get to be featured in their yt videos more then amber, my best friend. Amber and I agreed I could be in the YT vids more and she would be colbys gf. Anyways lets get back to the story yeah?

*3 hours later*

I walked into the house after soccer practice and just as expected im the only other one home except colby and amber who both are upstairs in colbys room making love to each other. I tear up a little but try to hide it as kat walks inside.

Kat: y/n?...why are you crying??

y/n: *thoughts* Oh shit- i must have a few tears oops...

all of a sudden i lost it. yep. you heard me i started bawling as kat cradled me into her arms

Kat: Y/N!!!!...what happened???

y/n: *sighs* I like colby...I have for years and I was to chicken to confess and so Amber asked him out and she didnt know I liked him so she felt bad but i told her to date him cuz i didnt want him to be hurt again..

Colby: *stops walking down the stairs* What?...*looks at amber* i-is that true love?

Amber: *nods yes* Im sorry.... I do like you but she liked you first and i felt bad when i found out...we should break up colbs im sorry she needs you more then i do..*leaves*

Colby: *looks at you* ykw...GET OUT Y/N!! YOU FUCKED IT ALL UP!!! DONT COME BACK TO OUR SCHOOL MOVE OUT OF THIS STUPID TOWN I DONT WANNA SEE YOUR DUMB FACE EVER AGAIN *picks y/n up and tosses you outside*

Sam: COLBY STOP ITS NOT HER FA-

Then the door slammed. And that was the last time I heard from colby. until I got the message.

*5 years later*

I was sound asleep when it happened. someone called me but i was to lazy to get up so i let it ring until the voicemail came, I was expecting spam or something but a familiar voice came through the speaker: "Hey y/n...um im not sure if you remember me my name is Colby. Cole Robert Brock. It's been awhile and I wanted to tell you how much I love you, this is my confession, its been years and I'm sure it's silly to you for me to apologize 5 years later but im sorry, I love you i truly do, Ik your back in kansas and all and I know you won't get this message cuz im not gonna send it to you cuz im fuckin stupid and to chicken to send it through but i wanted you to know i miss you so much and i wish i did things the right way that 5 years ago i think your really cute we should han-" **voicemail ended**

I was shocked. Colby did something I thought he never would do, he accidently sent me his confession, and an apology??!?!?!.. Man if he really sent this it must be worth it to call back and accept to meet up.. so i walked over to the phone and picked it up i hit the call back button and waited while it rang.

*MEANWHILE*

***Colbys POV***

Shit. shit. shit. I didnt mean for it to actually send through I feel horrible about how I overeacted 5 years ago but I wasn't ready to talk to her yet...she probably hates me why would she ever forgive me? I always had anger issues but i kicked her out of her own house. it was ours but still. she owned a part of it. then the phone rang and with a trembling hand i picked it up and answered it. "H-hello?"

y/n: *over the phone* Hey uhhhh i got your message- before you hang up yes i do except your apology and yes we should totally meet up somewhere.

colby: Oh nice! we should meet up at chick-fi-la! ill pay for us both if youd like?

y/n: yea! sure! sounds great colbs! maybe we can start over?

colby: y-yeah! yeah! i would love that!

y/n: ok...goodbye colbs see you tomorrow?

colby: yep. sounds like a date yn!! byeeee

then i hung up. god i must have sounded so dumb to her but inside my chest feels tingly and my stomach has butterflies. i turned around and looked at sam. "well...i did it brother i apologized to her."

sam: thats good. maybe youll date her tooooo"

colby: woah- lets not go that far maybe shes just waiting till she gets here to yell at me...

sam: whatever dude.

#colbybrockimagine #colby brock #colby brock fluff

[cocobunnii]

i hate feeling sad .. it’s annoying. i’ve never understood people who say “ i feel so alone , like no one gets me “ cause there’s 8 billion of us yet u think the way u feel is your unique one of a kind emotion. but yet i feel like that.. i have BPD right ?? ( borderline personality disorder ) & so bc of that it’s hard to express my “ personality “ / emotions. & i heard this one girl say this so imma repeat it. “ living w BPD is like having “ love goggles “ on 24/7. but rather than love its life. “ & it’s so right ! cause life w BPD is agony. like in relationships , i’ll see it going amazing & i’ll self aware-ly , self sabotage the whole thing.. it’s like i dissociate the whole thing , im third person view , just watching myself ruin everything i worked hard for. . & it’s a never ending cycle. & yk what sucks the MOST abt BPD ?? no one seems to understand that a person w BPD , at least in my case , needs support at random times w random mood swings. w high intensity mood swings. good & bad. i get scared of my good times. cause i can’t tell if i’m manic & everything just looks & seems good for the moment or if i’m actually having a good day or month. & what’s worse , is doctors don’t even know how to treat BPD properly. there’s no meds for it which is bittersweet. the ONLY treatment is therapy. & ad much as i love therapy. . it gets old telling the same ol story over & over again , getting no where. & sure maybe i just need a new therapist. but i’ve tried since i was 12 i’m 22 now .. i tear up every time i think of someone dying. wether it’s a stranger or a loved one. cause ik someone will miss that person , if not me. irony of that is i can’t feel that way abt myself .. & it saddens me i feel that way. cause i think back to when i was a kid & i wonder what she would think of me now yk .. like would she think i’m as cool was she wants to be ?? is she happy of my decisions .. ? i overthink & judge myself sm & i wish i didn’t.. we’re our best critics tho right ? i’ve always wondered how’d i’d end up tho i’m the end. how i’ll meet my husband , my career , how i’ll look .. we all do ofc. but i also wonder if i’ll get to that point. that “ fantasy “. sorry i’m so sad rn. i don’t mean to be a downer. i just needed to vent.

#bpd thoughts #bpd vent #bpd splitting #bpd problems #bpd mood #sad

[maiteo]

thoughts on how the arsepool game is gonna go?🫣

okay first of all, i say this with love…do not say that mfing name in my house…we don’t do that here🛑

moving on…this match up…hmm💭

not even gonna bother thinking about our form or pool’s inconsistency this season bc ik it goes out the window during some games & this is one of them. I think we need to stay strong mentally bc once that goes, so does the attitude during the game…next thing you know..we’re losing despite playing well (as seen while playing c*ty, for example)

im not entirely sure who’s fit rn. im glad we have our strikers tho and mostly everyone else(??) with exception of some defenders. speaking of which I’d love for the negativity to drop when it comes with who plays and who doesn’t…esp since it’s not in our control. if someone’s not fully fit….why risk them playing and not recovering fully? thus, missing more games.. esp as we’re so close to the end now?? cmon now.

and not to go off topic but rob slander is so goofy bc like…why? obvs if a player isn’t playing every single game they aren’t gonna be up the level of everyone else who is.. but ppl are so reactionary acting as if he’s the worse one on the pitch & that’s not the case. like…coyg a little then you’ll calm down…

anyway!! as always with games like this I just hope it’s fair and no one gets injured. some goals would be nice but im not even gonna try to guess the scoreline. beijos and COYG❤️😘🫂

#answered #sorry idek when you sent this I haven’t opened up my lil inbox in some time #negativity abt my players gets me so heated bc fans of all ppl should be the ones backing them up instead I see nonsense like..yeah no thnx #constructive criticism is one thing…straight up negativity is another #also need kreepy klopps ass to stay far away from my players those pics from before still haunt me🤢 #didn’t mean to ramble…esp since I said I wasn’t thinking about ball⚽️….I guess I was

[ssreeder]

heads up this one is a Chonky bOi:

ohmygod you UPDATED, you’re so lovely and so is your writing even though it makes me want to Scream (out of happiness and/or rage, it’s a mixed bag)

you do indeed make the The Most delicious cocktail, how could you ever doubt that??? also I got my own leekie tag :’) someone pls explain to me why that makes me emotional lmfao

noooo why do you always DO this sreedieeee “sokka was worried about jet finding out about who zuko really was” YOU BETTER FUCKING BE AFRAID ITS TOO DAMN LATE

“back to his rightful position as sifu hotpants” see this is the lightheartedness we need to see more of bc YOU KEEP TORTURING THE BOYS WITH NO RESPITE

also I may have forgotten that this plot point existed at all so it was a pleasant surprise

fuck you we’re back with another episode of Angst With Zuko, the most canon compliant aspect in this entire fic

lmao leave it to sokka to feel guilty about almost dying (like I Get it but also it’s the kind of situation where you have to laugh at the ridiculousness or else you’ll cry, and there’s already too much to cry about in this fic bestie)

YAY TINGLY LOVE FEELINGS our boys deserve good things <3

sreedie. I swear to fuckery if zuko is going to run away… I don’t have an adequate threat at the moment but I’m gonna be So Pissed my dude

lmfao not sokka’s ongoing shitty spirit luck-

but also >:(( about the letters LIKE THAT WAS SUCH A SMART PLOT POINT BY YOU AND I LOVE THAT YOURE A GENIUS but seriously Fuck this plot point

okay ik that “the big fire bender” is just a way to describe shen’s stature, but it makes me think of zuko being “the little fite bender” and idk the mental image of the big and little fire benders reminds me of a picture book my mum used to read to me where there was Big Mouse and Little Mouse and Little Mouse wouldn’t stfu and go to sleep bc Big Mouse was snoring too loud but the when Big Mouse put a peg on his nose to stop snoring then Little Mouse STILL couldn’t sleep bc he missed the reminder that Big Mouse was there to protect him from the scary things hiding in the dark and idk it’s cute (I’m pretty sure the book is called night noises??)

FUCK YEAH HAIR CUTTING LORE IM ABSOLUTELY THRIVING RN YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND IM SUCH A SLUT FOR CULTURAL DIFFERENCES BEING EXPLAINED (also the way that zuko simply did not inform sokka of any of these implications I cannot with this boy)

smh hakoda pls accept that your son is gay, shen literally just told you they’re metaphorically fucking in public

nooOooOoOo sad bato hours :(((

also not to go off on a tangent, but I’m going to do exactly that actually. anyways. just the whole “kya would know what to do” shtick got me thinking, it’s interesting for characters to make assumptions about how things would be easier/different if another character is around but that wouldn’t necessarily actually be the case and it’s just them projecting onto their loved one the feeling of safety and dependency onto them so it can act as a source of comfort of sorts?? idk if that’s a coherent thought but it’s out in the world now

hakodaaaaaaaa jet hAS ALREADY FUCKING DONE SOMETHING STUPID I hate this I hate it I hate it I hate it why do I love your story so much I hate this

hakoda… there is No fucking way you’re gonna leave zuko behind… right. RIGHT?????? sreeder I swear on my fucking life if your separate our boys-

YO SURELY BATO WILL TALK HAKODA OUT OF BEING A BLOODY MORON SURELY SREEDER TELL ME IM RIGHT

god I love bato. also shen and zuko banter >>>

oh morrak, obviously they’re going to do something reckless this is jet we’re talking about

aaaaand that’s a WRAP

I am so torn between hating you for this ending and pumped for the next chapter bc shit is once again going to go down, and really, what else are we all here for??

anyways, in response to your proposal, I just wanna say that it feels like we’re divorced, but it was an amicable divorce and so we still celebrate holidays together so our children don’t have to choose which parent to spend time with BUT I use the divorce against you for comedic effect, such as you PULLING THE ANGST SHIT WITH ZUKKA and then I get to shake my head and say “this is why I divorced you”

love you to bits and pieces!!

leekie :)

Ohhhhhhhhh leekie I like my asks like I like my milkshakes ,,, THICK <3

Sifu hot pants takes his position extremely serious I don’t know what you mean by lighthearted?? ;)

If Zuko does run away it will be with elegance and grace and likely in the middle of the night so no one will know :D

Do you think if Zuko found out he was the ‘little fire bender’ he would kick Shen’s ass just to prove a point?

Your tangents are my world, but yeah remembering a person for their best qualities is important but it’s also important for him to at least….. TRY to do what kya would do!

If kya were here she would smack Hakoda upside the head because YOU ARENT EVEN TRYING DUDEEEE. Hakoda is lucky kya isn’t there to witness the mess he is making.

oommmgggg I love being divorced to you it’s the best decision we ever made. Mwa mwa mwa mwahhhhh. You’re the best leekie and you’ll probably hate me more after next chapter but that’s okkkkk!

#shaken not stirred my friend #leekie tag #look now you have another thing on your leekie tag!! #I should use tags correctly but ehhhh I’d rather ramble #I love your asks they make my heart happy #I also live for your big brain so congrats on being a smarty #anyywayyyyy lovvveee you #liab #ria #ask #divorced leekie & sreedie

[polyamorouspunk]

Hey parent name anon here. I would like you to ask your friend how they feel on the matter

Also just to clear some things up:

1. I understand that you're not the best person to ask, but you accept asks like this and you don't try to please people. If you think somethings fucked vs if it's ok you say what you think

2. I wasn't saying that titles and names from different languages are non binary because they're from different languages. My issue is that my friend seems to think that because it's not English (their only language) that a word from a different language is inherently nonbinary instead of gendered.

3. Last thing is that my friend was pregnant when we had this convo and they had their baby a few days ago, so it's not exactly too soon to think about it lmao. This is why Im trying to decide if I should press the issue with them or not. Ik I can't change someone's decision, but I'd like to know how others feel about a situation like this

1/2. I’m glad you think that, just good to make sure in situations like these you’re clear that you’re coming from a place of someone who doesn’t have experience in the matter (although there are plenty of languages that are euro, and you don’t have to be a person of color to be like “hey this French/Dutch/Polish/German/Russian/etc. word is not gender neutral.” And I mean there are gender neutral terms for parents out there I’m sure in other languages that probably are spoken mostly by poc that I don’t know about personally because I don’t speak other languages and I mean the beauty of language is you can have places like Africa where different tribes speak different languages all over the place and I think that makes it impossible to quantify just how many languages are out there, but in cases like that yeah it’s still not for the white American.

3. I mean even if a baby was just born though you still got around a year before they’re going to start talking but I guess before that you’re going to want to refer to yourself as something so they can pick up that sweet sweet facial recognition which I guess I didn’t think about.

4. I mean I feel like thinking that “just because it’s not English means it’s not gendered” is probably basic enough of info that anyone can be like “yeah that’s dumb” whether or not it’s appropriation depending on the language itself that you probably don’t need someone from that actual culture (and again, because English is my only language as well I’m not actually sure which language that’s from so like asking someone who is Chinese about a Japanese word or vice versa feels a bit like lumping all of Asian languages together BUT I recognize that if you’re a poc and someone is trying to use a word incorrectly from a culture that isn’t Eurocentric it’s definitely a shared experience).

#anon is like listed I don’t care that you have a complicated history with this guy and you spent last night crying over whether or not- #-you should text him because you met him and then you guys dated and then he had to go get his divorce and get custody of his kid- #that’s on you can you just ignore all that and ask him about this thanks /s /lh #yeah whatever I guess it gives me a reasonable excuse to text catboy #I mean I assume he’s gonna be like ‘sorry I haven’t talked to you I’ve been busy’ to which I’m just gonna be like it’s fine- #-if I wanted to talk to you I would have but I didn’t so clearly I didn’t want to #and then I can gauge the situation from there #but I will not be messaging him at night when I’m emotional and raw it will be during the day when I have a clear head #so it’s going to have to wait for my own personal mental health #punk gets mail