#i think lambert and Jaskier would get on so well

[shy-urban-hobbit]

“I mean, you’ve got to feel a little sorry for them really haven’t you?” Jaskier said from where he was mopping up the last of the evidence of the half dead rat Roach had thoughtfully decided to gift them (the first time it happened he’d shrieked in surprise before Geralt put it out of its misery with a matter of fact “Welcome to country living, city boy”). Geralt gave a non committal hum from where he was warming milk up for Ciri on the stove. The little girl sat colouring at the large kitchen table - too large for two, but that would change when Geralt’s brothers and any guests they decided to bring descended on them.

“I mean they’re just minding their own business like, Oh I’m a hungry rat. Please don’t kill me.” Here Jaskier put on a slightly squeaky voice and held up his hands in imitation of paws, still holding onto the mop, “And then wham one of the last things they see is Roach’s teeth coming towards them. So many teeth.” He gave the resident farm cat a critical stare and received a dismissive tail flick in response.

Ciri giggled at his antics which caused him to grin back at her in return. It always felt like a special sort of personal victory when he managed to coax a laugh out of the little girl.

Despite being together for six months, he was still being introduced to her as her father’s ‘friend’ (which was true enough, they wouldn’t be dating if they didn’t get along) and Jaskier was happy to go along with it. Geralt had explained without revealing too much that the little one had been let down by too many adults in her life already, himself included, and ‘boyfriend’ was maybe just a little too official sounding for the time being (and if he said his heart hadn’t broken a little for the five year old smiling at him from Geralt’s phone, he’d by lying), especially after the shit that had gone down with his ex. Geralt hadn’t gone into detail but from what Jaskier had gathered, the woman had had a hidden agenda in wanting to get back with Geralt and Ciri had almost gotten seriously hurt as a result. Geralt had blamed himself for jumping back into the relationship too quickly and so, any potential partners now had to pass what Jaskier had dubbed ‘The Ciri test’.  

He liked to think he’d passed the first portion with flying colours, the tiny blonde seeming perfectly comfortable with him in public places. Now they were dipping their toes into Jaskier staying in their home for longer periods, with Jaskier having graduated from the guest bedroom to sharing with Geralt the previous visit (the brunette wanting the ground to swallow him up when she happily informed her Uncle Eskel of ‘Daddy’s sleepover’ when the man had dropped by unexpectedly the following morning. Geralt had just shrugged and told him to be thankful it hadn’t been Lambert; who could and would, happily take the piss forever).

“Alright Ciri, put your things away and then go get your bedtime book. I’ll be in in a minute.” Geralt said, pouring the warm milk into a plastic My Little Pony cup.

“I want Jask.” Ciri declared form where she was trying to force the crayons back into their box by the (relatively small) handful, Causing both adults to stop what they’d been doing and stare at one another. This was new.

“You sure you don’t want daddy?” Jaskier asked, looking to Geralt for some sign as to what he should do.

“You do better funny voices. Daddy’s all sound the same.”

It took everything Jaskier had not to burst out laughing at that as he took in the minute eye twitch from the other man at that statement, “Geralt?”

Geralt nodded, “Mind if I stay and listen? You know how much I love The Gruffalo.”

Jaskier snorted and felt a surge of fondness. The lies we tell for our children.

It ended up being a joint effort, with Geralt guest starring as The Gruffalo “On account of you being so, well...gruff.” and admitting to a slightly too smug looking Jaskier and a mostly asleep Ciri that “Yes, Jaskier does better voices for everyone else. Especially Mouse.”

"Everything ok? You’ve gone all quiet on me.” Jaskier said from where he had his head in Geralt’s lap as they watched some mindless Netflix show. “I didn’t overstep did I?” He was suddenly frantic, his anxieties bubbling back up to the surface now that he didn’t have a performance and an audience to focus on, “I know you probably just said yes so things wouldn’t be awkward. I probably should have told her no and come up with an excuse but how can anybody say no to that face-“

“Jaskier. It’s fine, honestly.” Geralt said, rubbing his hands up and down Jaskier’s arm in a way he knew calmed him, “I’ve built up something of an immunity to Ciri’s puppy eyes. I would’ve said no if I had a problem with it. I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“About how I might have a question for Ciri.”

The next morning saw Jaskier seeing both of them off with a hug (also accompanied by fishing a stray cheerio out of Ciri’s hair which he had been too tired to question) before heading back to his city apartment and his job as a music tutor.

“Ciri?” Geralt asked, putting her school backpack by the door as he knelt down to help her button up her coat, “You know how Aiden is Uncle Lambert’s boyfriend?"

It had slowly been killing Jaskier not to check his phone as soon as the text notification came through but he was nothing if not professional and he would not check his phone when he was in the middle of a lesson. Thank the Gods he did wait as he was prettu sure he gave his retreating student a minor heart attack with the squeal he let out at Geralt’s message:

‘Ciri has been proudly announcing to her classmates this morning that Jaskier is her daddy’s boyfriend. Much disappointment from the single mums.’

#the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #witcher jaskier #jaskier #jaskier x geralt #jaskier/geralt #geralt/jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #kid ciri #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt

[catscraftsandcommentary]

So I had some time to think tonight at work (in between operating heavy machinery, swearing at the materials, and trying to keep the line running, fun times!) And I asked myself, "self, hypothetically, what might @inexplicifics Accidental Warlord AU look like in another generation or two - once people really get used to witchers being The Good Guys (TM) and helping out?"

And I was like "well, they'd probably get invited to social events - ooh! Who'd like which events best?!? What would that look like?"

Geralt, as we all know, detests anything too formal or Warlord-focused. He enjoys weddings and receptions, but his TRUE favorite is baby christenings. Seriously. Put him in a room with a tiny baby and he's happy as a clam. He'll happily growl away (or weaponize his puppy-dog eyes against) grannies, aunties, and other family members to hold the baby for as long as possible. He's also 90% of the reason that witchers are now rumored to be able to bless babies.

When Mouse and Treyse bring this new rumor to the council, everyone has to just sit. And process for a minute. Because what the ever-loving fuck?!? (Jaskier immediately writes the sweetest lullaby ever, "A Witcher's Blessing", and it is the ONLY song that Geralt ever sings in public, and only ever to babies and small children. Multiple women blame this for their immediate conceptions.)

Jaskier adores weddings and festivals of all types, and if a happy couple includes details of how they met and/or fell in love with their wedding invitation, there's at least a 50% chance that he'll show up to the wedding with a personalized love song, holy shit.

Ciri loves tourneys. Loves watching them, loves displaying in them, loves sneaking into competing in them (omg, heir, NO), loves WINNING them. She's a menace. She has various stealth coats of arms that she rotates between when she's not supposed to be competing, but her favorite is the battle goose. Obviously.

Eskel doesn't like crowds or being the center of attention, which are almost inevitable with public invitations, but he does enjoy being the +1 for his family. Several of his and their interests overlap, and even where they don't, he likes to see them enjoying themselves.

Yennifer becomes well-known as an extremely efficient - albeit terrifying - treaty negotiator. She'll talk to both sides, get a list of their must haves, deal-breakers, would-likes, and don't-wants (as well as - perhaps more importantly - the reason why each of those are on that particular list). Then she draws up a draft and viciously negotiates a compromise. She is genuinely surprised the first time that both sides thank her for her help.

Vesemir, with all his long years of teaching, loves visiting schools and seeing any sort of student performance or sporting event. Kindergarten to university, drama to music to dance recitals to track and field meets to football games to student symposiums to science contests to... He buys out bake sales and funds club field trips and donates several fortunes worth of antique knick knacks to various schools. He's invited as a guest lecturer, a commencement speaker, a competition judge, a referee.

Lambert and Aiden, at some point, discover bachelor's parties, call dibs, and never look back. People learn very quickly not to invite witchers to their stag nights unless they want the entire party to get horrifyingly drunk - but at least Lam and Aiden will make sure that everyone makes it home (or to the wedding) safely. Perhaps not soberly, or sans hangover, but definitely without major injury. (And if the bride asks nicely and the groom and friends weren't total jerks, Lambert can usually be counted on to make a hangover cure. He really is a softie at heart.)

Dragonfly and Serrit get tapped for the odd bachelorette party or ladies' birthday parties. Anything that falls under "I want to be able to drink and party with my friends without worrying about some strange guy hurting one of us." They are extremely protective and have both been drunkenly proposed to several times. (Livi finds this terribly amusing. Gweld just wants to know if he can watch.) Milena and Zofia sometimes go with them.

Milena loves going to wedding showers and baby showers, but outside Kaer Morhen, she has to stay in sight of Lambert or one of his brothers. Lambert's rule. (She got KIDNAPPED, okay? He's allowed to worry!) Usually she'll take Geralt (there might be babies! He's excellent protection!) or Eskel (he's very quiet and has excellent manners, and his signs are impossible to fight) for the more, ah, female-heavy events. If anyone asks, they're her brother-in-law and genuinely like spending time around kids. And very, very married.

#the witcher #accidental warlord au #inexplicifics

[fangirleaconmigo]

Geraskier

So you know how Jaskier (Viscount Julian) left home and changed his name and since he’s always short on cash, one would assume he was cut off (or cut himself off) from the family fortune?

So what if when his parents finally pass away and and he comes into a substantial amount of money, it is right about the time Geralt is really starting to feel the wear and tear on his body and wonder whether he can be a witcher for much longer, and he’s feeling anxious and melancholic about it but hasn’t admitted that to anyone.

But then he gets an invitation from his dearest friend Jaskier to join him on the coast at a cottage for some rest and recovery.

And when he shows up and drops his bags, he is instantly in love with the place. It seems like something he would build himself. Its decorated with items from their many years of travels. Ciri’s first wooden sword is hung on the wall. There is swallow imagery reflecting her as well, in the paintings and etchings. There are buttercups interwoven with wolves.

When Jaskier takes his things, there are hooks and contraptions that are perfectly shaped to hold his swords and armor without scratching or damaging them. The table and chairs are his perfect height. There is even a fireplace styled just like the one at Kaer Morhen, evoking the memories of many nights drinking with Eskel, Lambert, Coën, and Vesemir.

Jaskier hugs him so tightly he coughs, but it warms his heart and he forgets about his melancholy. Then Jaskier leads him by the hand and takes him to the back garden and his brothers and friends and most thrillingly of all, his daughter, are all sitting around with ale and they shout and toast him.

After he is kissed by Ciri and squeezed in many strong arms, he takes Jaskier aside. By then it is dark and the candles and torches are twinkling illuminating the tables where all the war stories are being told with laughter and copious amounts of swearing.

“What is the occasion, Jaskier? What’s going on? When did you buy this place?”

Jaskier looks at him with so much love and fondness, Geralt’s knees feel weak. Its getting harder and harder to hide these damndable feelings for his dearest friend.

“I didn’t buy it.” He says. “I built it.”

“You built it.”

“Well. I paid someone to build it. Obviously. The important question, though, is whether you like it.”

“I do,” says Geralt. “I love it.“

“Good. Because I built it for you. And the occasion is your retirement, or semi-retirement, if you desire it.”

It takes a good half hour to convince Geralt that Jaskier is not joking with him or teasing him. Jaskier places a key in his hand with a wolf etched on it. Geralt walks around the house in a daze. Jaskier follows behind with a gleeful smile. Like Geralt imagines mothers look on their children’s birthdays and they’ve given them the pony they’ve aways wanted. When the tightness has cleared from Geralt’s throat and he isn’t afraid he’ll sound emotional, he speaks.

“Jaskier,” he says, “why? Why would you do this for me?”

“Because,” Jaskier answers, “you deserve it. You’re always doing for others.”

Geralt feels the tightness in his throat again. He looks into his dearest friend’s eyes and his hands stray to Jaskier’s hips of their own accord.

He has never touched him this way. But he is overcome. Not thinking.

Jaskier smiles. “And because I love y—-“

He does not finish the word because Geralt is kissing him.

Ciri and Zoltan have wandered into the kitchen to look for another barrel of ale and the see the two of them kissing.

Ciri whoops and starts clapping. Zoltan mutters “its about godsdamn time.” Geralt’s ears turn red. Jaskier grins proudly.

Geralt has never felt more content. But he still teases Jaskier relentlessly before he invites him to move in with him.

“Its pretty lonely in this place.”

“You know, no reason I bring this up, but I have always wanted to live on the coast…”

“Maybe I should hire a butler, so the house isn’t so quiet…”

“I loathe you, witcher.”

“Actually, I have it on good authority that you love me.”

Geralt does that for a day or two, teasing between kisses, pretending he doesn’t understand what Jaskier is hinting at in the afterglow, for Geralt to invite him to move in.

They set up two chairs on the porch where they can see the waves and sit next to each other, Jaskier fiddling with his lute and notebook, Geralt nursing his wine.

And it is more than he had ever dared to dream.

#the witcher #geraskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia #descarada writes #my geraskier headcanons

[annmarcus63]

Coën tells Vesemir that he saw something remotely large flying over the old stronghold to the west. Everyone but Geralt is thrilled. Apparently, they've been waiting for an opportunity like this, a chance to take Ciri with them to fight her very first beast as a witcher trainee. 

Lambert, Cöen, Geralt, Ciri and Yen are getting ready to take off the very next morning when Geralt asks Jaskier if he wants to come too. Jaskier tries to hide his surprise under a nonchalant facade, but he can't fool the witcher. The bard accepts the offer not a second later. It seems that his strategy is working after all, Geralt never asked if he wanted to come on a hunt before. It seems, Jaskier thinks with a lump on his throat, that he was in fact the problem after all. 

It's a short walk to the stronghold. Ciri observes the witchers track the beast, she's a fast learner. Jaskier watches too from an unobtrusive safe distance. Until all goes to hell. A royal archgriffin followed by its mate lands on the field taking everyone by surprise. Someone starts shouting orders, one archgriffin traps Lambert under its claws. It's a complete chaos. Suddenly the earth starts shaking, a roar swipes the air, Jaskier's blood goes cold when he sees a big ugly horned creature bolting from the trees. A chort. The new arrival takes everyone by surprise. Ciri ends up cornered by the chort, she has nowhere to go. Geralt is too far away; Yennefer is helping Lambert and Cöen; Ciri has lost her sword and the beast is about to bolt towards her. He acts without thinking. Nothing can't happen to her, he won't let it, even if it feels like he's running to his death. Geralt won't care, but he will if it's Ciri, he'd blame himself. It'd be Renfri all over again.  He won't let it happen. Jaskier shouts with all his might while grabbing Ciri's sword from the grass where she dropped it. He grabs the sword with both hands and plunges it into the beast's rear. Not used to handling swords, his hands slip through the blade, he feels the skin of his palms opening, like butter under a hot knife, followed by a river of blood. Someone it's shouting his name; he thinks it may be Ciri. The chort roars annoyed and turns to the bleeding bard. 

It happens in an instant. He is thrown through the air; a flash of pain explodes in his chest and grows to a cruel entity. He wishes for death.

 

-

He wakes up with a gasp followed by a groan of pain. It seems he's back at Kaer Morhen.

Not dead, then, he thinks with a hint of remorse. 

Triss is there in an instant. The witchers summoned her to help heal him, apparently, he was (is) in a very horrifying shape. He asks her for Ciri and the others, she says everyone is well, just a few bumps and bruises. Jaskier feels relieved.

"You were dead for a couple of minutes" Jaskier doesn't know what to say so he settles for thanking her for saving him. He has two broken ribs and a few more cracked, breathing is an utterly painful experience, but Triss' concoctions help a little. His hands are bandaged, Triss says they need a lot more healing, but she reassures him that he'll be able to play again. In time, at least. 

"I've never seen Geralt like that" she says suddenly "He- he said he couldn't feel you." Jaskier doesn't reply, he's rather immersed in the movement of her hands changing his chest bandages. 

"I didn't know you two were..." 

"No one knows." Says Jaskier feeling tired, body and soul. 

As if sensing the sadness in Jaskier's heart, Triss adds “He was scared.” 

"He would be fine."

"You're his soulmate, Jaskier. I don't think that he’d be fine.” 

"I have never been his soulmate." The bard flinches at his own bitterness. "I've only been a friend. A traveling companion." He corrects. 

“Jaskier…”

"He was never meant for me. Destiny must have got it all wrong, the mark on Geralt's arm should be Yennefer's not mine." He doesn't know why he's saying that to her. Maybe it’s the shock or it’s the pain, but he wants to tell someone, anyone, about another kind of pain he's been carrying all these years. He is crying, Triss hands him a tissue and smiles in a reassuring way.

Jaskier cries silently with intervals of gasps of pain, while Triss finishes his bandages and hands him a cup of fresh water. Jaskier thanks her in a quiet whisper. 

"I couldn't make him happy anyway" he wipes the tears from his eyes and finds that his hands are shaking "She does. She really does." 

"I never take you for the self-sacrificing type" says Triss holding one of his hands and squeezing. He wants to hug her, but refrains from doing so due to her broken ribs.

"I'm not" he clarifies "I'm just realistic. How could Geralt want someone like me when he has her?" 

After a few seconds of silence she says "You are enough, Jaskier." 

He wants to laugh, to disagree but refrains from it. He's only a bard, after all.

There's a knock at the door. They turn at the same time. It's Geralt, he's holding a bowl of stew in one hand and a single yellow flower on the other, and looking at Jaskier with an expression the bard can't quite decipher. 

Jaskier feels his cheeks blushing. Fucking idiot, he must have heard his pathetic monologue. 

"Can I talk to him?" He says to Triss. She stands and says "Of course." She leaves hurriedly, leaving the two staring at each other. Something heavy lies between them.

This is it, Jaskier thinks, this is where my heart will break for good.

Previous here

Next and final

As promised to dear @youknowwhoiam3490-blog (excited for your positive aggressive reading)

@mordoriscalling @dustbunnyprophet @chispy-rar-v2 @strangerzaiah

@help-help-i-need-an-adultlt

@janjan-the-ninth (not a 20 chapter fic but well…)

#geraskier #jaskier #the witcher #the witcher netflix #geralt #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #soulmates #as promised #here's more angst #drama #so much drama #sorry for the angst #unrequited feelings #for now

[headcanonthings]

Maybe it’s just in the fics I’m reading but I really feel like we don’t take enough advantage of Jaskier being a Master of the Seven Liberal Arts. It’s a line that gets thrown out now and then usually just attached when Jaskier is introducing himself and really trying to impress someone. I just want something that explores that part of him a bit more

I also think that it would combine really well with one of those fics that has Jaskier meeting other witchers without Geralt.

Like maybe he writes popular short stories which Eskel adores and runs into him a couple times in the bigger cities doing book signings

Vesemir has a special interest in Astronomy and has a subscription to the Witcher equivalent of a scientific journal where he reads an interesting article by Jaskier and decides to write him with some follow up questions not really expecting a response but gets one and this quickly turns into a years long correspondence

I haven’t fully thought this through so not sure which of the arts he’d be using to meet up with Lambert, Aiden or even Coen (or other witchers depending on how many you want to meet up with him) but do you get what I’m saying?

I also think it would be funny if he’s using a different pseudonym when he meets each witcher so when they all get together and talk about their new friend they don’t realize they’re all talking about the same guy

#if this fic exists please send it to me #witcher #Jaskier #fanfic #fanfic prompt? #geralt of rivia #eskel #vesemir

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Modern!Human in Kaer Morhen

Summary: How the Witcher characters would try to impress a modern person + feel about them

Notes: I put some of the non-Witcher characters here too since some of them wintered at Kaer Morhen as well

it's been a while, but i had my wisdom teeth removed and was incapacitated for the last few days

Tagged: @lucyinthelibrary @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @sunndust (hmu to be tagged!)

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Geralt

He tries to stay away from you at first since destiny loves to fuck him over

But you’re just so nice

Finally he’s being treated like a normal person

Would never admit it out loud

Doesn’t try to impress you per se, but tries to show that he cares about you and might become very protective

Yennefer

Has one talk with you, becomes the Continent’s first suffragette

Loves you for being a feminist (if you aren’t, why are you reading this??)

Tries to impress you with magic

Would probably work (come on! PORTALS???)

Very possessive of you, even as a friend

Triss

Honestly, she doesn’t really think about impressing you at all

But she kinda does?

She’s just a super kind person in a super shitty world

If she actually does try to actively impress you, it’ll also be through magic

Just more wholesome opposed to Yen’s intimidating

Jaskier

Will write you a song

And a song about you

He’s a bard, so be prepared to be serenaded (it would probably work on me tbh)

Ofc super flirty

So happy that you treat his witcher friends as anyone else

Eskel

Internally screaming

AKJSDJFHASAJFJKHKJ SOMEONES TREATING ME WITH DECENCY???

Crushes so hard I’m not okay

Tries to impress you with absolutely everything

From fighting to good reading recommendations to leaving little gifts (especially the little gifts)

How could you not love this guy?

Coen

He just constantly hast to remind himself that you’re nice to witchers

And ofc he melts for it bc obviously (obviously being deep-rooted trauma and self-image issues, applying to all witchers)

Tries to impress you by teaching you how to fight

And showing off all the while

Means well, but very distracted

Lambert

He’s defensively aggressive from the get-go

And so startled when you’re just… normal to him

Has no idea how to act around you

He can’t just… be mean now???

So chaotic with trying to impress you

Starts tripping while showing off his sword skills

Vesemir

Super suspicious of you being nice to his boys (and him)

Yeah, he doesn’t trust you in the least

When he does start to like you, he tries to impress you with kind gestures

And by being a good listener (Vesemir = Kaer Morhen’s local therapist)

Also makes the boys respect you

#geralt #yennefer #jaskier #lambert #vesemir #coen #eskel #triss #netflix witcher #geralt x reader #geralt of rivia #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt x y/n #geralt x you #eskel x reader #eskel x you #eskel x y/n #jaskier x reader #yennefer x reader #lambert x reader

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 4

Geralt is the captain of a pirate ship, named "Kaer Morhen." Perhaps he's still a witcher, perhaps he's just a regular old human (with white hair and golden eyes? Lol) His brothers (and "cousins" from other witcher schools) Now I can see this going two different ways, so choose a favorite (or make up your own, I am only the beginning, I hold no affront of being anything more) Jaskier is a nobleman's son, aboard his family's ship, possibly on his way to be forced into a marriage to a woman he doesn't love. And either he falls overboard or he's shoved off as a murder attempt, but he's lost in the ocean. Lambert (or someone else, but I love to imagine how Lambert would attempt to call this out to his captain who he doesn't take seriously 90% of the time, #brothers) calls that he spots a man bobbing in the sea, and they haul him up. The majority of the crew sees sight of his jewels and finery and insists on holding him ransom. But when the prisoner wakes up and isn't afraid of death, Geralt looks into this a little more. Apparently their prisoner won't get a ransom because his entire family despise him and his want to run away and become a bard. Funny. Most pirate ships have entertainers aboard to help the pirates deal with months of nothing but ocean. Perhaps they'll have use of this dumb twink after all. OR, option number two Jaskier is a nobleman's son, chained and starved for the crime of wanting to become a bard and not wanting to marry some prissy noblewoman. He hears a lot of loud noises and screams and then a bunch of burly men in fur cloaks stomp down and start rifling through their supplies. One catches eye of him and immediately yells to the captain. The captain is a very handsome man with silver locks and bright eyes, and the dreaded pirate captain is treating Jaskier with more kindness and gentleness than his family or their workers ever have. The pirate hauls Jaskier up into his arms and carries him to their own ship, laying him down in his own bed, and looking over his injuries and sending one of his crewmembers to make hm a fine meal. Jaskier begins telling the captain of his abusive life beforehand and mentions that all he's ever wanted is to spread music and love, and shockingly enough, this big scary (gorgeous) man doesn't even laugh at him for it.. Oh fuck he's falling in love-

♡!Optional addons!♡ • Geralt gayly teaching his bard how to swordfight!!!

• Perhaps Jaskier's family is crueler and has done more than beat him, perhaps they've stabbed him or something, and the very last thing he sees before he passes out from bloodloss is Geralt (Maybe he even thinks he's an angel! Lmfao)

• Geralt getting lovingly bullied by his brothers for taking care of his songbird so well

• Geralt's crew revenge-robbing or revenge-killing Jaskier's family if we do Option one for the story (attempted-murder route), since it's implied it happens in Option Two while they ransack the ship-

• Perhaps I'll do a sequel for this prompt one day for Mermaid Jaskier, I do LOVE mermaids, take this as a much smaller and much less detailed prompt for if you want that idea, too! Perhaps the Pankratz ship has a captured mer aboard, parched and dehydrated (I just mostly think it'd be funny if Geralt was checking his pulse and if he has any injuries while random other witches dump buckets of sea water on him-)

#fanfiction prompts #geralt x dandelion #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #the witcher #witcher fanfiction #writing prompts #alternate universe #strangers to lovers #mutual pining #story prompts #writing prompt #pirate au #pirates #pirate geralt #nobleman jaskier #Geralt loves his bard! #Optional smut scene where Geralt shows Jaskier that there is a nice way to be tied up #jaskier thinks geralt swordfighting is hot and that's canon #requited unrequited love #plot bunny #Its so great that people are starting to like and reblog my dumb gay ramblings about my otp #like i am my own target audience but omg the possibility of these one day actually getting written into fics is just so Y E S #pray writers find me and like me guys i want to read good fics with no unlikable-asshole netflix geralt

[ladyannemarie5]

So... Remember my old post of WarLord!Geralt searching for the bard and discovering that Jaskier is Radovid's consort in Redania?

You can see it here

Well, I couldn't stop thinking about that and here's just part of what I've come up with so far. 

Caution: Lots and lots of text. Almost 2k words.

-----

Geralt's first formal order as Warlord of the North is to search the continent for the bard Jaskier.

Five years have passed since Geralt last saw Jaskier. Five years since the mountain disaster and the day Geralt made the bard believe that the greatest blessing of his life would be to get rid of him.

Since then, Geralt has found his surprise child, resolved his issues with Yennefer and formed a new empire under his and the other witchers' command. And there hasn't been a single moment when he hasn't regretted pushing his bard away. 

That is why, as soon as political things settle down and his mainly non-human subjects begin to form real households, the new warlord sends all available people to search for the man who made him White Wolf.

He knows from Yen, that Jaskier became the Sandpiper, so he has the witchers approach the smuggling network to help the refugees get to his new realm and also to gather as much information as they can about the poet's whereabouts. 

They hear rumors and whispers about the famous bard Jaskier singing in taverns and famous courts, but every time they reach the last place where he was seen, it turns out that the bard has already departed. It also seems that 20 years at the side of a witcher have made him very good at running away from them without a trace. 

Geralt grows more desperate by the day. He wants to apologize to Jaskier, he wants to tell him how sorry he is and how much he wants him to come back to him, because he is finally ready to stop running away from his feelings. He needs Jaskier by his side, either as his lover or simply as his friend. He just needs to know that the poet is safe and sound.

That's why his heartbeat stops for a moment when new information arrives from the bard. It turns out that Nilfgaard beat him to it and captured Jaskier months ago. 

Geralt moves all his people to search for the place where the bard is being held prisoner until they finally find the small fort where their sources say he is. Geralt himself leads the attack.

Everyone is really confused when they break through the entrances and discover that there is no one alive there. There are only remnants that there was once a small army operating in the place but they fled some time ago. 

Unfortunately, there are also remnants of torture in one of the fort's dungeons. Geralt feels an immense urge to vomit as he enters the place and the smell of Jaskier's blood reaches his nostrils. His eyes sting with tears of anger and sadness when he finds a piece of blue silk in one of the corners. His anger and grief increase when they find a funeral pyre on the outskirts of the site. Jaskier is gone forever.

Shortly thereafter, the University of Oxenfurt issues a statement mourning the death of its greatest teacher and legend, the bard Jaskier. Apparently, a Redanian convoy was on a reconnaissance mission when they found a fort with remnants of Nilfgaard troops. Upon entering they discovered that the soldiers had already left but had left the body of a man in one of the dungeons. One of the men, apparently a fan of the bard, recognized his belongings and alerted his superiors to the man's identity. Jaskier's body was burned by the Redanians due to the advanced state of decomposition. All that remained was a broken elven lute that was given to the university as proof of the poet's death.  

Geralt demands that the lute be given to him. Eskel and Lambert are required to hold it when the dean refuses to give the instrument to the witcher on the grounds that Jaskier himself had left them to them in his will. The document firmly states that all of the bard's possessions were to pass to the university to dispose of as they see fit. 

Geralt cries for the first time in years when he finds out. Officially, he has nothing left of his bard. 

The Sandpiper network continues to operate as usual, at least for a while since the discovery of the fort, until something incredible happens: Redania enacts a new law saying that all elves, dwarves and other non-humans would no longer be persecuted, and could even choose to be legal citizens of Redania. 

Years pass since then. Ciri, Yen, Triss and his brother witchers remain by his side and life on the continent continues almost unchanged as the White Wolf finishes consolidating himself as a monarch of a strong and prosperous territory. The hope that Jaskier will one day appear alive and singing about the Warlord every day fades. They hadn't seen the body and when Yen wanted to use a tracking spell with the lute just to make sure, it led to nothing.

And then politics suffers another attack: King Vizimir of Redania is murdered. Yen says that rumors point to his own brother, Prince Radovid, being the one who murdered him, as he was crowned that very night at the side of his lover, a random nobleman named Julian. Geralt does not doubt it. Humans are cruel and ambitious.

The obligatory mourning passes slowly, one day all the kingdoms (except Nilfgaard) are summoned to celebrate the new king and his consort. To the surprise of everyone in Kaer Morhen, the White Wolf and his entourage are invited to the celebrations. Yen and Triss say that it would be rude not to go, as Redania fully recognizes their kingdom unlike other territories, so it would be beneficial for Geralt to attend and seal ties with a kingdom as powerful as Redania. 

Geralt wants nothing more than to stay in Kaer Morhen and continue to evade the outside world. Jaskier is no longer in it so there is nothing interesting out there. But he knows it's inevitable that he will attend the Redania celebrations, and Yen is right, it's a great opportunity. So he and his entourage leave for the kingdom. 

They are greeted in a grand manner, just like any other monarch and his entourage. Redania has shown that he wants to form ties with Kaer Morhen, so Geralt decides that he will do his best to make it all go well. It seems that King Radovid himself and his consort will welcome them once they have settled in properly. 

Geralt feels all the air leave his lungs, his head feels heavy and in turmoil, and he thinks he will burn Redania to the ground for such an offense. Next to King Radovid, stands a man with blue eyes and brown hair. A man resembling Jaskier stands right there, his arm resting on the king's arm. 

He introduces himself as Julian Alfred Pankratz, formerly Viscount of Lettenhove, now royal consort to King Radovid.

Yen cannot help but advance to him with a murderous look. He magically probes him and in an icy voice lets them all know that he really is Jaskier, the bard dead years ago. Julian replies that it's really good to see everyone once again. 

The welcome feast begins. Geralt can't take his eyes off Jaskier. The king and his consort act like any normal couple, both conversing with each other, together and very intimate. Geralt feels his stomach churn. 

At some point in the night, Julian manages to sneak into Geralt's room. He silently asks the Witcher to verify that no one is listening and that there are no traces of magic around. Geralt confirms that they are alone. 

Geralt has many questions, but he can't say any. Not with the man he thought was dead in front of him. But he finally gets something out of his mouth, asking for explanations. 

Julian tells the witcher that after the mountain he traveled for a while by himself, but seeing the injustices to the elves and other non-humans made him want to do something. With his contacts in the RSS he became the Sandpiper. He would go back and forth from Oxenfurt to other places on the continent to recruit new people into the network. During his stays in Oxenfurt and thanks to Philippa and Dijkstra, he met Prince Radovid. 

Geralt's heart breaks when he hears from the bard how lonely and desperate he felt until Radovid came into his life.

"By the time I realized it, I was lost and hopelessly in love with Radovid," he tells Geralt. 

The warlord can't help but mention that the bard fell in love with a king-killer. Julian jumps to his consort's defense and tells Geralt everything. 

Philippa and Dijkstra want to take Redania to war against Nilfgaard, they assassinated Queen Hedwig to make Vizimir give in to their advice, however, the king didn't. The two councilors then went to harass Jaskier, threatening his job as the Sandpiper to tell them the location of Geralt and Ciri, so they could use it as political leverage against Nilfgaard. Of course the bard refused. 

So Jaskier was kidnapped and tortured by Nilfgaard to find out the location of Geralt and Ciri. Radovid, madly in love and worried about Jaskier, set out to look for him everywhere, until he was finally found dying in the fort. Philippa and her magic saved him. 

Radovid, concerned for the bard's safety, proposed to him to fake his death in order to drive away all those who were looking for him, including the man who despised him on a mountain. Jaskier accepted on the condition that he stop pursuing the elves. 

As the announcement of Jaskier's death shook the entire continent, he and the prince planned to leave the castle and travel together, away from the intrigues of the court. Vizimir, happy for his brother, immediately agreed to let them both leave as long as they accepted his help and communicated constantly. The night of their departure, Vizimir was assassinated. 

Geralt is shaken when Jaskier tells him that Philippa and Dijkstra killed Vizimir so they could manipulate Radovid and take Redania to war. The new king is stalling as long as possible, but there is no denying the influence of both advisors on the king's decisions. Geralt snarls when he learns that the sorceress and spymaster are threatening the former bard's life to make Radovid do as they command. 

Jaskier knows that Geralt hates him, that he is not complying with the one thing he has asked of him, but he needs him to get Dijkstra and Philippa out of the picture so he can save Redania and his lover from going to war. And so he lets the witcher know. 

------

And well, that's it. At least until now. 

I want to clarify that anyone who wants to write this has my absolute permission to do so, just tell me so I can read it because I definitely don't think I'll write it myself. If you want to comment on something, another idea, another point, an insult, change something to this. etc., you are welcome to do so. I don't usually reply much but I really do read everything posted on Tumblr. 

Thanks if you read all this verbal vomit and apologies once again for the huge amount of words.

#I really wanted to put my version and give my ideas #a lot of text #feel free to take the idea and write it down #just tell me so I can read it #anything is welcome #you decide who jaskier stays with #but to be honest in my heart he stays with Radovid #jaskier #the witcher #radovid #radskier #geraskier #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #bunny plot

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Signing

Geralt is the only Witcher at Kaer Morhen who knows Handspeak. It's something he learned years ago from a deaf clergy member while he was staying at the Temple of Melitele after being seriously injured during a hunt.

He never mentioned it to his brothers because, well, he didn't really feel like it was that important

The only signs a Witcher needed to know were the handful they used to fight.

Geralt is floored one evening when he and Jaskier are camping.

Geralt is tired, and the bard is annoying him so much he just doesn't even want to 'Hmm' at him, so he just casually signs "shut up" as he turns away.

He spins back around, stunned when Jaskier laughs and says "Really, Geralt, "shut up"? I would think f**k off (makes two signs, one of which Geralt doesn't know) would be more your style!"

Hmm...?

My Gran-Gran is as deaf as a post, so she taught me.

Geralt was silent a moment before hesitantly rumbling "Show me 'f**k off' again...

Jaskier very eagerly starts teaching Geralt the extensive library of slang words, swears, and profanity that his Gran-Gran taught him.

Geralt is thrilled the bard knows Handspeak as well. It gives them the advantage of being able to communicate when speaking is not possible or ideal

Plus, they can talk s**t about people when ever they want, even with the person standing right beside them.

Things get really fun that winter at Kaer Morhen.

Geralt now has someone to share all his commentary with on his brothers' various conversations that he normally would just keep to himself.

It would confuse the other Witchers when Geralt or Jaskier would suddenly make a few gestures, and the other would make a gesture back.

They didn't do it too often, not really wanting them to catch on and start asking questions. They didn't want to have to share the secret.

The other Witchers didn't really think too much about it, because

1. Geralt had always been the weirdo of the pack, and it looked like he now had another wierdo to hang out with. Good, let the weird kids entertain eachother

And 2. None of it seemed directed at them.

Jaskier finally, finally saw Geralt really laugh for the first time ever one evening. And it had been magical!

Lambert was on his third bottle of White Gull, and had been picking on the bard most of the night. Eskel's warnings to leave Songbird alone had gone unheeded, and so had Geralt's warning growl.

Lambert then said something degrading about Jaskier's songwriting skills.

That was when Jaskier leaned towards Lambert and said "What would you even know about composition? Can you even read, you stupid..." he then held up his right hand, with middle finger and thumb extended, and aggressivley tapped his thumb against his chin.

Lambert and the other Witchers blinked, dumbfounded while Geralt spat out his drink and proceeded to lose his sh*t.

Geralt's brothers just stared at him, having never seen him laugh so hard.

Lambert knew it was some kind of insult involving the 'f' word, but the extended thumb being tapped against the chin confused him.

Lambert *look of anger and confusion*

Geralt *WHEEZING*

From then on, Jaskier would sign it at Lambert whenever the Witcher started being too much of an a**hole, or when Jaskier just felt like being Mr. Petty Crocker. And it drove Lambert crazy because he couldn't figure out what it meant.

Jaskier kept him guessing by signing other insults at him.

Geralt finally had to ask him to stop after he saw him sign 'sheep f**ker'. Geralt was barely able to stop laughing in time to stop Lambert from gutting the feisty bard.

As much fun as it was to see the rage and confusion on Lambert's face, Yen would have killed him if anything happened to Jaskier.

#the witcher #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #the witcher headcanon #twn #the witcher netflix #signing headcanon

[starfirewildheart]

Chapter 11

Geralt looked out the window at the still falling snow in the presunrise hours. The colors seemed more beautiful today than he ever remembered. He heard Naurel start to move and went to her. Sitting beside her on the bed he leaned in for a soft kiss. “How do you feel?” The new lovers had spent the rest of the day and the entire night in his room exploring each other.

She stretched and smiled up at him, eyes still sleepy. “Wonderful.”

“Not sore? I didn’t hurt you did I?” His strength always concerned him when touching humans but especially with her because he’d lost himself in the pleasure a few times.

“Sore in some places but nothing bad.” Running her hand over his arm, “Stop worrying love. You didn’t hurt me, I promise.” He relaxed a bit and she sat up pressing another kiss to his mouth. “Are you ok? You’re up early.”

“Aye, perfect,” he smiled. “As much as I would love to stay up here for a month you need food and water to replenish and we should give your body some time to rest.”

She pouted at him but the grumbling in her stomach made her realize he was right, as usual. “Fine, if we have to.” She got up and started getting dressed still blushing softly as he watched her.

Down in the dining hall, a few of the witchers were already having their breakfast when they arrived. Geralt got their food and led her to a table where Ciri, Coen, Jaskier, and Lambert set. Once they were seated she suddenly became nervous. They, well she, hadn’t been very quiet last night. What If they heard her? Geralt placed his hand on her thigh having picked up on her increased heart rate and she wrapped her own arm around his bigger one almost hugging it to her. She picked at her porridge, thankful when a conversation started.

“What’s the training agenda for today?” Geralt asked Ciri.

“Lambert said something about a training platform for witchers,” she answered proudly.

Lambert had the good sense to sort of cringe knowing that Geralt would likely not approve. “I just thought it would be a good way to learn some defense. If you think it’s a bad idea we can do something else.”

Ciri’s huff didn’t go unnoticed but Geralt acted like he didn’t hear her. “She’s chosen you and Coen to do her training. I won’t get in the way of that. Naurel and I will be practicing today.” He looked down the table at Ciri, “Please be careful. The course is made for a witcher who’s more advanced in their training. When they fall and break a limb or split their skull we can put them in the laboratory and give them elixirs to heal them. You do not have that ability.”

“Gonna practice with the straw people again?” Lambert teased Naurel.

“Probably,” she nodded. “I’m sure it’s sort of like practicing with you though, the straw just doesn't talk back and crack stupid jokes.”

Coen spits his water across the table laughing. “Good one!”

Naurel reached over and shook his hand with a huge grin on her face. “Thank you.” Having started to relax a bit more she loosened the death grip she had no Geralt’s arm some and started eating. “What are you doing up so early Jaskier? You usually sleep till midday.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he eyed her.

“Oh no, are you still hurting?” she asked, concerned for her friend.

“A bit but that’s not why I couldn’t sleep.”

“The cold?” Geralt asked as he took a bite of bread.

“My room is next to yours and you,” he looked at Naurel, “Are not quiet my dear. And you,” he pointed at Geralt, “How do you go so long?!” Ciri started giggling and the other witchers joined in teasing them and moaning mockingly.

Naurel’s face flamed red as she buried her face against Geralt’s shoulder. Geralt however just laughed good-naturedly at their friends. He’d intended for them to all know that she belonged to him. Last night left no doubt. After a few minutes of teasing Vesemir and Eskel came in. He’d heard them teasing the pair and was laughing too. “Enough,” he rumbled. “You’re just jealous because your brother is making those noises with his girl and not by himself.”

Geralt gave a grateful look to the old witcher before lifting Naurel’s head off his shoulder and kissing her softly. It wasn’t lost on him the Eskel went to an empty table and didn’t join them. She finally spoke again to ask Vesemir a question. “What is the cooking schedule here?”

“Each person takes a day cooking all three meals,” he told her.

“I would like a turn if that’s agreeable. I feel like I need to be contributing in some way.”

“Yes! Of course! Please! It has to be better than Lambert’s” Came several replies from all the witchers. She laughed.

“You don’t have to but If you want to, it would be most welcome,” Vesemir told her.

“I’d love to,” she beamed. “Someone let me know when it’s my turn.”

“Tomorrow,” they all said in unison. She laughed and continued talking before heading out to work on her sword training.

 

It was getting late in the afternoon when Geralt saw Lambert and Coen approaching with a bloody, frustrated Ciri in tow. They all sat near him watching Naurel hit the straw dummy. He looked over at Ciri, “Going to survive?”

“I’ll get it tomorrow,” she frowned as she rolled her shoulder. Stupid human body and its human limitations.

“You beat the strawman yet?” Lambert teased Naurel.

“Why don’t you spar with her and find out?” Geralt suggested.

Naurel and Lambert said “Huh?” at the same time.

“Spar with her, not you?” Lambert verified.

“Yes, I will coach her, nothing more,” Geralt nodded.

“Come on little girl,” Lambert said excitedly, grabbing his sword.

Naurel was looking at Geralt like he had grown another head as he approached her. “He’s going to kill me!” she whispered.

“Do you trust me?”

“Do you have to ask?”

“Start out with the blocking moves I showed you. When I want you to switch to offensive strikes I will call them out.” He kissed her head, “You can do this.”

“Yea,” she shook her head no at the same time causing him to chuckle. “Just remember if he kills me we can not do a repeat of last night witcher.” All of them laughed, damn witcher hearing.

Naurel did everything exactly how Geralt had shown her and made her practice on the dummy a thousand times and to her surprise, she managed to block all of his attacks. He’d been easy at first but by the end, there was some force behind his blows. “Strikes,” Geralt called out. “Keep your form, your arms are dropping.”

“Fuck you,” Eskel roared and launched an attack.

Geralt shoved Naurel to the ground away from them so that she wasn’t hit. Both men landed punches and kicks hard enough to draw blood instantly. Witchers fighting was scary to watch especially when you were in love with one of them. She felt the tears spilling down her face as Ciri ran to her and helped her to her feet.

The other witchers finally got the two separated after several attempts. Coen noticed that Eskel’s eyes were black indicating he’d taken an elixer before coming outside. He’d planned this attack. Distracted by his thoughts Eskel was able to shake free and storm Geralt again whose arms were still being restrained. No one had time to react as Eskel kicked Geralt as hard as he could between the legs with his elixir enhanced strength. Everyone let Geralt go and tackled Eskel to the ground. Geralt fell forward, curled over unable to catch his breath, and finally threw up in the snow.

Naurel and Ciri ran to him trying to help him however they could. Naurel grabbed a handful of clean snow and wiped his face and neck until he was able to catch his breath. She had to balance herself when he leaned all his weight on her pressing her face against her neck. “Shhh, love try to breathe,” she encouraged rubbing his back.

At this point, Vesemir had come out and ordered them to take Eskel to the dining hall before kneeling beside Geralt. “Wolf,” he placed his hand on his back feeling how hard he was still trembling. “We need to get you inside so I can tend to you. It’s going to hurt when we stand you up but it has to be done.

Geralt nodded because he couldn’t speak and felt strong arms around him lifting him up. He was sure his balls had ruptured, it felt like they had been hit was an anvil. Unable to hide the grimace as he was moved he griped Vesemir and Coen’s shoulders in a bruising grip. He was grateful that they went no farther than the dining hall because he didn’t think he could have stood much more even letting out a whimper when he was lowered down on some furs that had been placed near the fire.

Jaskier moved Ciri out of the line of sight to give Geralt some privacy as they laid his head in Naurel’s lap and stripped him. He had to be restrained while he was examined for damage but thankful after a few potions and elixirs he was no longer fighting them. Naurel dipped a cloth in a bowl of water and wiped his sweaty brow and face unable to do anything else to help while Vesemir and Coen worked. Once Geralt was treated and covered with a blanket Vesemir said something to him that was too soft for Naurel to hear before standing. Geralt turned with a pained grunt and wrapped his arms around Naurel’s waist hugging her as he rested his head on her.

Vesemir was livid when he stormed across the room to Eskel. The yelling echoed through the room like screams off a mountainside but Naurel didn’t think Eskel looked repentant at all. She smiled as Ciri came and curled against her side close to Geralt and ran her fingers through his hair offering comfort the only way she knew how as well. The yelling went on for over an hour before Eskel was sent to his room for the night because Vesemir was too angry not to hurt him during punishment at the moment. Eventually, everyone scattered about talking softly or going to their rooms. Thankfully Geralt had calmed enough to meditate and help his healing.

Wolf and flame tag list

@kneelforloki

@shellyshellshell

@warriormirkwood

@mollymal

@secretdreamlandmentality

@salvawhxres 

@dizzybee03

#geralt x reader #witcher geralt #geralt z rivii #geralt of rivia #witcher fanfiction #the witcher netflix #the witcher #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction

[thewitcheress2389]

I need a part 2 of the shy healer!!! It was soooo cuteeeee!!!!

Thank you!! Of course!💖

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Shy Healer of Kaer Morhen (Part 2)

Vesemir finds his pups talking about you after the mess hall scene, and he can’t help but get involved.

#100 “You wouldn’t understand how shy you make me.”

“Man, I feel like we’re boys again.” Eskel sighed as he and Geralt sat crisscross on the snowy grounds in the training yard, trying to keep themselves hidden from any eavesdroppers or passing glances.

“Don't start." Geralt responded to his brother with a sigh.

Immediately after Geralt called you cute in the mess hall, the witcher enlisted the help of his brother Eskel because he was not there to witness the display. Also, he is the only one that Geralt really trusts for something like this.

So, here were two grown ass men, witchers to be precise, conspiring like school boys on how to talk to a woman.

"I don't know why you want my help. I don't exactly have a lot of experience." Eskel said while shrugging. Geralt's response was simple.

"You're not Lambert." The witcher said, and Eskel sighed. He wanted to help his brother out, but had no idea where to begin.

"She seems to like you...just be yourself." Eskel said, trying give Geralt some generic advice, but that just made the white-haired witcher sigh.

"Eskel...look at me. I need to actually communicate with her, and she's too shy to talk to me." Geralt said with a frown, looking off towards the snowy mountains.

"Are you asking me how to...talk to girls?" Eskel asked in a rather confused tone. Geralt resisted the urge to sigh again because he loved his brother, but why does Eskel think Geralt brought him out here.

"Maybe you can use actions instead of words. Like flowers or something." Eskel offered, brushing some snow out of his hair.

"Where would I find flowers?" Geralt asked, and they soon realized they had another problem. The witcher really didn't want to go to Jaskier, but he was getting rather desperate here...

However, he was not about to sing.

"What are you boys doing out here?" An older voice caused the two witchers to freeze. Slowly, Eskel and Geralt looked over to see Vesemir standing there with his arms crossed.

"Umm...Eskel, tell Vesemir what we're doing." Geralt pushed the attention onto his fellow witcher, who began to fumble around for some sort of excuse.

"Is this about Y/N?" Vesemir hit the nail on the head. He figured after you fled the situation in the mess hall with Lambert and Coen, something was going to happen. When he saw Geralt scurrying off with Eskel, he was certain.

Just what were his pups planning?

"We were just brainstorming!" Eskel tried to defend his brother, who just looked annoyed.

"Well, you know how bad that is for the both of you." Vesemir said in a fatherly tone. Both of the men glanced at each other before Geralt let out another sigh. They were caught, might as well fess up.

"I need help...talking to Y/N." Geralt said in a defeated tone, not really wanting to admit this to Vesemir.

"Ah, that scene in the mess hall was quite something." The older witcher pondered and Geralt could only nod in agreement. It was silent for a bit as Vesemir thought about how to help his brother in arms.

"I might have an idea to help you...I'm sure it'll be more effective than anything Eskel could've said." Vesemir said with a grin, causing the scarred witcher to deflate. Geralt felt himself pale when he saw his mentor's face.

"She's a healer, right? There's only one way to get Y/N to talk to you." Vesemir began to unsheath his sword slowly, making Geralt pale and Eskel scoot away.

"What are you...?" Geralt began to say, and Vesemir flourished his steel sword with a smirk.

"Be a man, Geralt. Take a couple hits for your lady. Are you ready for this?" The older witcher asked, wanting to ensure that Geralt was ready for this. The white wolf sighed, and stood up to face his mentor with open .

"Don't strain yourself, old man." It was that comment that struck a cord in Vesemir, and with a smirk, he lunged at his pup. In typical Vesemir fashion, his attacks were harsh, but also meaningful. He knew he was doing the right thing.

However, Eskel quickly ran off. He didn't want to be a part of this anymore...

"Geralt?! What happened to you?!" You exclaimed while fixing up his wounds. The witcher has bloody gashes on his shoulder as well as one on his collar bone.

"Training accident." He simply responded, thinking back to how he let Vesemir swipe at him just so be could be where he is now.

Being patched up by you. It was the only time where you seemed to be confident, when you were in your zone.

"I thought you were more careful than this." You scolded slightly as you tried your best to stitch up his shoulder. Geralt couldn't help but chuckle a bit, causing you to look at him.

"What's so funny?" You asked as you moved to grab some more alcohol to prevent infection.

"You." Geralt said simply in that rough voice of his, getting you all flustered and causing you to nearly drop the bottle.

"W-What about me...?" You asked, suddenly returning back to your shy and meek state making Geralt chuckle again.

"This. Berating me one moment and then shy the next." He said while gently fingering over the scars. This made you walk over and slap his hand away. However, you were a lot more flustered and quiet than before.

"You wouldn’t understand how shy you make me.” You admitted while cleaning away some dried blood from another cut. Geralt hummed at that, tapping his fingers against his legs in an obvious anxious manner.

"On the contrary, I do understand. "

Geralt's words caused you to freeze, and drop the needle you picked up to stitch his wounds. That ping echoed throughout the entire keep, and once again, you and Geralt were unsure of what to say to each other.

"Um...I-I..." You started to say, but Geralt cut you off with a raise of his hand. You immediately shut your mouth as he spoke.

"I feel at a loss for words around you as well. That’s well...why I got myself all scratched up...” He admitted while bringing his hands together and wringing them about in a nervous gesture. You widened your eyes at his confession.

“W-What? You got yourself hurt just to talk to...me?” You asked in a surprised tone, and the witcher simply nodded.

“I didn’t know how else to approach you.” Geralt said in a shy manner as you went back to stitching him up. You tried your hardest not to start smiling, but you couldn’t help it. Still, it seemed there was something on Geralt’s mind.

“Since...neither one of us are good at talking...would you prefer to go on a silent ride on Roach with me?” Geralt was surprised that he was actually able to say that, and you couldn’t help but get all flustered. However, no matter how tight your throat felt, you couldn’t stop your answer.

“Y-Yes.” You said with a smile, blood rushing to your face. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t even notice the proud smile on Geralt’s face.

“How...H-How did you get hurt, by the way?” You asked after a couple minutes of calming down. The witcher tried to block out the embarrassing scene of Vesemir giving him a friendly slicing while Eskel laughed hysterically.

“It’s a long story.” Was all he said, and you left it at that. He was just happy that it was worth it in the end.

Later...

“Oh my god...” Coen said while staring at the scene in front of him. You seated behind Geralt as the witcher rode Roach out of Kaer Morhen.

“Someone write to Jaskier. This is history being made.” Lambert added with a smirk, him and Coen sharing a mischievous look. Eskel tried not to laugh when he thought of how Geralt got there.

Meanwhile, Vesemir stood off to the side, smiling like a proud father. But he felt bad for Geralt, as he looked off to his other pups.

The white-haired witcher was going to get teased to hell.

#the witcher #the witcher imagine #the witcher x reader #the witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt imagine #witcher geralt

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Jaskier retreated from the main hall. Leaving the remaining Wolves to see to their injured and dead and readying himself for another night tucked away in his wreck of a room, determined to stay out of the way after already having been largely ignored since his arrival and then shoved away by Lambert twice. He found himself wondering if he should count the first time, considering that he probably saved Jaskier’s life in the process? Probably not. The second time though was just plain spiteful. But then, he and Geralt had been travelling together for years and the white haired Witcher tolerated his casual affection at best – why else would it always be down to Jaskier to initiate when he'd seen the Witcher freely hug and give causal touches to Ciri and Yen multiple times?

He swallowed down his self pity as he realised he’d taken a wrong turn somewhere – he definitely didn’t recognise that particular crack in the wall.

“Fuck.” He sighed as he slumped against the wall. Part of him wondered if he should maybe be feeling a little more panicked about this turn of events, considering he’d been warned that some parts of the Keep were unsafe (whilst neglecting to tell him which parts. So that was incredibly fucking useful). Then again, it wasn’t exactly like he’d be missed, even if the Wolves weren’t currently preoccupied with the aftermath of a possessed princess unleashing almost literal Hell. He closed his eyes and rest his head against the freezing stone. Sod it, this was just as out of the way as anywhere else. He’d try and get his bearings in an hour or two.

“Jaskier. Jaskier!”

Jaskier jerked awake at the shout of his name, squinting at the sun through the window, surprised by how little time had actually passed.

Geralt barrelled around the corner just as he was trying to shake some of the stiffness out of his shoulders, the Witcher looking panic-stricken as he practically ran to the Bard, “Jaskier.”

“Geralt, what’s wrong? Has something else happened with Ciri? Has Yen’s chaos - oh!” He was cut off as Geralt pulled him to his chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly and effectively trapping the Bard’s own between their torsos as he hid his face in Jaskier’s shoulder, “Fuck. Geralt, talk to me. What’s happened?”

“I couldn’t find you.”

Jaskier gave an eloquent “Huh?” at that, “Geralt, did you hit your head and not say anything again? You did find me. You broke me out of prison, remember?”

He felt Geralt shake his head, “No. Just now. You weren’t in the hall, or where Yen showed me you’d been sleeping or anywhere else I checked. I thought something had happened to you and none of us had noticed. I hadn’t noticed.” He pulled his face away, allowing Jaskier to fully look at him, “You scared me.”

Jaskier lowered his eyes, ‘Congratulations Julian. Yet another fuck up.’

“I’m sorry. I thought it’d be better for everyone if I stayed out the way.”

“No, Jaskier.” Large fingers tilted his chin up until sky blue met molten yellow, “I’m sorry. For pushing you away on the mountain, for keeping you at arms length here, for how the others have treated you.”

“I don’t think you have much control over the last one to be fair.”

“Yes, I do. Ciri made me realise I should have set them right as soon as I arrived back. She gave Lambert an earful for shoving you like he did after his injuries had been checked over.”

Jaskier gave a brief smile at that before the mood turned serious again, “Can I ask why though?”

“Hmm?”

“I thought we were ok after you trusted me to escort Ciri and then you just acted as if I were invisible. what did I do wrong?” He couldn’t stop the tears blurring his vision, “I know I can be too much. I was too much when we were together, I see that now and I want to try and fix things. Stop being so, well, me. But I can’t when I don’t even know what I did between the prison and here to make you angry at me again.”

Geralt looked at him like Jaskier had just been the one to sucker punch him, “You did nothing Jaskier, you never did. I acted as I did because, well, you terrified me. Still do.”

Jaskier gave a wet laugh, “I seem to be making a habit of that today.”

“I mean it.” Geralt continued, “You shoehorned yourself alongside me and you were – are – so full of life and joy and light. I wanted to keep you for myself. Something I’ve never felt so strongly before, not for Yen, not for Renfri. I wanted to know you completely and be known in return and that realisation scared me more than any monster I’ve faced. I didn’t know how to let you in like that, so I pushed you away.”

In a moment of bravery (or perhaps madness), he brushed his lips against Jaskier’s forehead, hearing the Bard’s breath catch, “You’re not the one who needs to change, Jaskier. You never were. I just don’t know how to start, but I’ll try. For you and Ciri and Yen.”

“My darling Witcher, you already have changed.” Jaskier, squirmed until he was able to loop his arms around Geralt’s waist, finally returning the embrace, “You and Yen are able to be in the same room and act like actual adults, you finally took responsibility for Ciri, and as for me-“ Jaskier gave Geralt’s waist a squeeze, “You do realise this is the first time you’ve hugged me first?”

Geralt brushed his lips against Jaskier’s brow again, firmer this time, “First of many. If you’ll allow it.”

“Always.”

#the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #geralt/jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #jaskier/geralt #jaskier x geralt #witcher geralt #geralt #geralt of rivia #witcher jaskier #jaskier

[ikeepwatchinghelicopters]

Random thought: Ciri decides that for Halloween, everyone must dress up as someone they love/appreciate very much (and no two people can dress up as the same person). Yennefer calls dibs on Ciri right away. Geralt is now torn. He knows Jaskier expects him to dress up as the bard. But Geralt absolutely doesn't want to wear Jaskier's style of clothing. And since their (romantic) relationship is still pretty new, Geralt'd also be embarrassed with showing his love so explicitly. So, he decides to dress up as Vesemir (though he knows that Jaskier'll be disappointed), but then he learns that Eskel already reserved dressing up as Vesemir. So, Geralt's now stuck with dressing up as Jaskier (to everyone's delight except his). He has a very long internal fight about whether he'll be able to handle wearing that ridiculous hat with the impractically long feather.

Also, Lambert would probably try to boycott the whole thing or make his costume some kind of alcohol, but he can't really resist Ciri (and Aiden) and ruin her fun. So, him and Aiden would be dressing up as each other.

Jaskier, of course, wants to dress up as Geralt. Everyone expects him to dress up as Geralt. No one even thinks about questioning it. He has his Geralt costume ready well in advance, but one time that he's trying it on and trying to get in the Geralt mindset a thought crosses his mind. "Well, I'm Geralt now and if I were to pick someone to dress up as for Halloween as Geralt, it would definitely be Roach." So, Jaskier passes on his Geralt costume to Ciri and decides to dress up as Roach instead. Well, first he has a long debate with Ciri whether him dressing up as Geralt dressing up as Roach is against the rules if Ciri dresses up as Geralt. In the end, Ciri decides it's okay. They keep it a secret, so everyone is absolutely shcoked once Halloween comes. Also, they enter the room where everyone is as Ciri-Geralt sitting on Jaskier-Roach's shoulders.

#the witcher #jaskier #geralt of rivia #geraskier #yennefer #ciri #kaer morons #random thought #very random #this feels like a shitty mess #or messy shit #you can choose #also #fic idea #feel free to write the fic

[mothpiercings]

i wrote this while on vacation then forgot about it for a week anyway

jaskier travels to future modern day where geralt is like 800 years old

after the dragon hunt geralt and jaskier part ways

geralt didn’t mean anything he said ofc, he was just angry and frustrated and he took it out on the one person he could always count on

but his stupid pride won’t let him apologize

even though he feels sorry as soon as the words leave his mouth

he watches jaskier walk away, and knows that he has to give his the bard some time

three years is a lot of time to give but geralt can’t find him

he has literally looked everywhere

oxenfurt, lettenhove, pasoda, hell even cintra (which he vowed to never go back to, but he needs to find jaskier)

the bard is nowhere

five more years pass

geralt still looks for him everywhere

every time there’s a bard with bushy brown hair or blue eyes or a lute with flowers on it, he’s reminded of jaskier and is filled with hope for one quick second

but it’s never jaskier

he hears it in a pub

it’s a no name pub he’s never been to, one he just stopped in after a hunt

and he hears it

the bard in the corner, talking to some patrons, acting as if it’s just casual conversation

“yes, yes, the great bard Jaskier, meletele bless his soul, wrote many ballads in his day, and had he not fallen to horrid fate, we might have more. but alas, we make do.” and he finished with a laugh.

a laugh

geralt storms out of the pub, probably scaring the few townspeople sober enough to notice

he takes on contracts that he knows are too dangerous for him

he goes to kaer morehn every winter and drinks himself near death

the others are worried for him, but bringing it up leads to geralt locking himself in his room for weeks

they don’t talk about it

he isn’t sober for more than a few hours at time for a decade

eventually geralt finds his child surprise

and he knows that he can’t keep this up AND be a decent father figure

he and yennifer sort things out and she helps him sober up

blah blah blah season two happens mainly as it did in netflix cannon except without jaskier

a few hundred years pass

everyone’s alive (all the witchers, yennifer, ciri, magic is the answer to everything)

it feels like forever

geralt never stops thinking about jaskier

everytime music changes or a new instrument is invented, all geralt can think about is how jaskier would respond

he cries the day he found out ab recording

all he can think about is how he would never get to hear jaskier immortalized like this

jaskier would never be remembered

that thought makes him cry harder

it takes yennifer and ciri a week to pull him out of his drunken depressive episode

geralt has settled in pretty well though

he’s generally good at adapting to change (even though the fact that his dog is named roach says otherwise)

he has a job that he mostly enjoys (he’s a park ranger. it’s the most fun he’s ever had and he loves it so much. if anyone ever found out he would kill them and then himself)

he and his family try to get together at least once a month

they got closer after they stopped having to kill to survive

when they finally got to a point where they could just be

they almost always go over to vesemirs (because despite what they say, he’s their dad)

it’s at one of these dinners, as everyone’s saying their goodbyes, a loud crack and swear is heard from the backyard

it’s a swear they haven’t heard in a long time

centuries maybe

then more swearing

geralt pauses and listens to the voice that he knows is dead

this is a nasty trick

the other witcher’s know that something’s wrong as soon as they see geralt’s expression change

they got rid of their swords a long time ago (it was the 70s after someone lambert tried to take them to a festival and almost killed someone. now they stay in the attic)

but they all carry daggers ofc

they grab their weapons and slowly stalk towards the yard

where the voice is still ranting and cursing

still in a language long dead

they open the door

geralt doesn’t belive it

“where the fuck am i, geralt” the bards voice is just like it was that day on the mountain

chapter/story two

none of them move for a beat

they can hear the man’s (jaskiers?) heart beating so fast it could come out of his chest

he doesn’t seem like a fake (dopplers went extinct a few centuries ago anyway)

if this was an imposter, they were too good at it

“jaskier” has the same scent he always has (wild flowers and a field after rain)

jaskier looks at the witchers, all big and scary and totally pointing their daggers at him

he can assume the other men are geralts brothers

though they don’t have a madellian, they each have a large ring with a wolf engraved

don’t ask jaskier how he noticed this

he doesn’t know

geralt stalks closer to the man (the man who was dead for almost 1000 years, the man who shouldn’t be here right now)

he hears a light growl from behind him and eskel lightly gripping his arm

but he has to do this, so he shakes the hand off and continues forward

with each step that geralt takes, jaskier smells… calmer

this confuses geralt, because even though they had been… friends for a long time, they parted ways on awful terms

in a language he hasn’t heard in such a long time, jaskier begins to speak

“geralt…” he repeats, “where the fuck am i?”

it takes a moment for geralt to process, and not just because he barely remembers the language

but the man’s voice sounds so much like jaskiers

and jaskier looks not a hair out of place

he looks. like he was simply plucked out of thin air in 12xx and deposited in 2022

#geraskier #the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #geralt of rivia #jaskier #yennefer of vengerberg #geraskier fanfiction #kaer morons #kaer morhen #i’m gonna write this eventually #maybe #hopefully #also #if u couldn’t tell #idk how to use tumblr #it’s difficult #so the formatting probably isn’t great #or good #but #we’ll survive

[annmarcus63]

An ugly, translucent shape opened at the gates of Kaer Morhen. A portal. Mercenaries and a mage, the firefucker.  The witchers defend their home and their cub, but they're too many. Ciri gets badly wounded and Rince is about to drag her through the portal, away from her home, away from her family. Geralt feels terror, they can't take her. The wizards fight with all their might, eliminating them one by one in a matter of second. A defeated Rince mocks them and before fleeing, he reaches into the portal to pull out a person who instantly falls to the ground. 

"This one sang beautifully, witcher. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have found Princess Cirilla. And her blood" the mage's face twisted into a crooked smile as he looked at his blood covered dagger. Blood holds power, especially Ciri’s. But before Rince can escape, Lambert appears out of nowhere, taking him by surprise to cut off his head instantly. 

On the ground there's a shaking figure. 

A pair of frightened eyes looks around. Jaskier. Geralt had not seen the bard for years, he tried not to think about him either. But Ciri is wounded, bleeding and whimpering for Geralt because it hurts too much. The witchers carry the princess inside without looking back, to the shaking man on the ground. Geralt and Eskel heals Ciri as much as they can. She's going to be alright.  

Later, he sees Vesemir, through Ciri's bedroom window, approaching a shrunken figure at the stables and after a few breaths said figure following the aged witcher inside the fortress. 

Jaskier is there the next morning, sitting in the dining hall, shoeless and wearing simple clothes that are too big for him. But he doesn't want to see him, he can't, Ciri almost died because Jaskier was the one who gave the information to Rince. With a shrinking heart, Geralt turns away to find something to occupy his mind while Ciri recovers. 

-

Guilt is eating Jaskier up, even the pain cannot compensate for his heavy conscience. He hides his hands in a pair of thick gloves that rub against his burned skin, but it is worse to have them exposed. He had never been to Kaer Morhen before, but he had never imagined it would be like this. He never imagined he would be an outsider, a traitor. 

He finds a pretty good room, it's small and only has a hole in the wall, so it's not so cold. The wolves are uneasy, uncomfortable with his presence and he totally understands it. Geralt has barely given him a glance. Eskel is kind, he smiles at him whenever they run into each other and even gives him a pair of boots and a cloak.

The day after his arrival he spends the day working on the stables, cleaning and feeding the horses, it's not an easy task due to his damaged hands but he can manage. In the afternoon, Jaskier goes inside and sits down in front of the fire in the hall to warm his freezing bones. Not too close, of course. 

Geralt and Lambert enter speaking in hushed voices, Jaskier makes himself as small as possible so as not to attract attention. He's the prey. They are talking about Ciri, she is apparently well and that is reassuring. And suddenly...

"Shh, It's not safe to talk here." It takes him a few seconds to register what Lamber said.  Jaskier looks up to find two pairs of yellow eyes, predator's eyes, looking down at him with weariness. Something breaks inside him, something essential, it could be his core, his heart at the very least. In a hurried move he stands and leaves the room to find another place to get warm. 

At night the pain is too much to bear. He can't sleep and he's so damn tired so he cries for a while until he decides he’s had enough. He leaves his room barefoot so as not to alert the witchers and a single oil lantern to light the dark corridors of the keep. He wanders around for a while until he finds the lab, surely there must be something here to help ease his pain? he sniffs every jar and bottle whose contents seem familiar when a voice calls "If you smell that one you'll die" Jaskier yelps, turning around. 

Vesemir is at the door 

"I...I...I wasn't doing anything wrong, and maybe that's not the smartest thing to say. I'm sorry, I’ll just...go" 

"...what do you need?" 

"Something for the pain" The witcher approaches a cabinet 

"What kind of pain?" 

Jaskier is biting his lips to decide whether to tell the truth or... "Bard" Vesemir scolds him. 

"...burns" Vesemir stops to turn to look at him, his heavy eyes landing on the gloves on his hands. The witcher resumes his search and in a couple of minutes spent in silence he hands Jaskier a vial full of white stuff.  

"Thank you" Jaskier smiles sincerely. 

"Put shoes on or you'll lose your feet too" 

He cries all the way back to his room. 

The salve helped a little, but he still couldn't sleep. He's so tired and he doesn't want to be here anymore. He wonders if the snow is thick enough to kill him if he leaves in the night. 

It's hard to peel potatoes and Eskel notices upon entering the kitchen. "Are you ok?" says signaling the odd way in which he's holding the knife. Jaskier smiles at Eskel with a nod, afraid that if he speaks he won't be able to stop. The witcher is handsome even with the scar that splits his face. He has a quiet air about him that makes the bard sure that if they had met in different situations they’d surely be good friends. 

"You should go to the springs, the one in the middle will help you heal. Just don't go to the one on the right or you'll be burned alive" Jaskier flinches "Thank you, Eskel. I'll be sure to save you an extra portion of broth." the witcher laughs and pats the bard's shoulder before leaving. Jaskier wants to ask about Ciri but knows he has no right. 

-

Geralt is watching over his cub when he hears a door opening outside followed by unsure steps. Jaskier. He still hasn't decided if having the bard here is a good idea, he doesn't trust him, not quite. Eskel says he is too hard on him, also says he's injured to some extent. Geralt makes sure that Ciri is completely asleep before he follows the bard. He's in the springs. It is too late at night for another witcher to be there too, so Geralt decides that this may be the perfect opportunity to finally talk to him. To question him about his betrayal, even if it pains Geralt to know the answer. But he stands frozen in the entrance, Jaskier's back is turned to him, naked.  Hand marks decorate the bard's back, ugly burns across his arms that have not fully healed. 

Something breaks in Geralt and he is overcome by an unbearable grief and anger towards himself, towards Rince. The witcher watches as Jaskier removes one of the gloves. How had he not noticed the gloves? To reveal a completely burned hand, missing pieces of flesh and blackened areas beyond repair. The bard is weeping quietly, even the touch of the air causes him immense pain. Geralt gulps, wishing he could rewind the time, lift Jaskier off the ground and ask him if he was all right. He wants to turn back time to never shout those cruel words at him on the mountain.  

#geraskier #jaskier #the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #the witcher netflix #hey it's me again #with yet another angsty prompt #In this one #Yennefer doesn't save Jaskier from the hands of the firefucker #our baby bard is hurting #as in all my stories #i'm sorry

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

Hello! Can I request 24 and 26 for the prompt! Geraskier, please. Hope you feel better soon!

24. Going grocery shopping together

26. Encouraging them to finally buy that thing they definitely deserve to treat themselves to

“Oh good, Frosted Charms are on sale!” Jaskier picks up two boxes of the sugary, brightly colored cereal and tosses them into the cart.

Geralt sighs. “No, they’re not. One box is four crowns. The sign only says they’re two for eight crowns so you think you’re getting a deal.”

“Huh.” Jaskier takes a second look at the sign, sees that his boyfriend is right, and shrugs. “Oh, well, nothing stopping me from getting three boxes, is there?” He grabs a third box, grinning at Geralt. “What’s next on the list?”

“Since when are we following the list?”

Jaskier looks at the cart, which is surprisingly full, given that they only walked into the store to grab a few quick things. “Okay, I’ll follow the list perfectly from here on out.”

Geralt snorts. “Next is bread. You specify in parentheses that you want ‘the good shit.’”

“That’s because I’m making garlic bread to go with dinner. You need decent bread for that.”

“What’s dinner?”

“No idea! Maybe more garlic bread?”

Geralt sighs heavily, but his lips curl up at the corners as he steers the cart around and heads towards the bakery. He doesn’t say a word when Jaskier adds a family-sized pack of peanut butter cups to the cart, because all that witcher training has given him a keen sense for how to spot a losing battle. Jaskier hums to himself as they make their way through the bakery, selecting the most promising-looking loaf of bread before moving on. When he turns around, he finds Geralt eyeing the display of cakes, his gaze lingering on the carrot cake.

Jaskier loathes carrot cake with the burning fire of a thousand hells, especially when it has walnuts and raisins in it, as this one appears to, but Geralt is inexplicably fond of it. But Geralt is looking at the cake with the same wistfulness with which he used to look at Jaskier before they finally got their shit together, so Jaskier will endure the presence of raisins and walnuts in his home if it will make the man he loves happy. He leans around Geralt to snag the carrot cake and place it in the cart.

When he looks up at Geralt, he finds his boyfriend frowning down at him. “You hate carrot cake,” Geralt says.

“I do, as does everyone whose taste buds haven’t been ruined by drinking Lambert’s White Gull. What’s next?”

Geralt doesn’t look at the list, still watching Jaskier in faint bafflement. “Did you mean to get the chocolate mousse cake?”

“No.” Jaskier wonders if it would be overkill to buy two cakes, because that chocolate mousse cake does look good. “You like carrot cake and you were eyeing that cake like it was your long lost love.”

“I don’t need it.” Geralt picks the cake back up.

Jaskier puts a hand on his forearm. “Yes, but do you want it?”

Geralt just blinks at him. The thing about Geralt is that even though he thinks nothing of making sure all the people he loves—Jaskier, Ciri, Yennefer, his brothers, Roach—are happy and comfortable, he rarely extends that same care to himself. When Jaskier met him, the man didn’t even have a boxspring, just a mattress that sat in the middle of his bedroom floor. The most luxurious furnishing in his apartment was Roach’s memory foam cat bed. 

He’s come a long way since then, but sometimes they still run into these moments where Geralt doesn't see the point of treating himself softly. Everything must have a utilitarian purpose. Clothes are for covering his body, not to look or feel good in. Food is to keep him alive, not to enjoy. Sometimes, Jaskier thinks he would have made an excellent medieval monk. He used to think it was a witcher thing, until he met Eskel and Lambert, who have no problem treating themselves to the small luxuries. It seems to be a Geralt thing.

“Darling.” Gently, Jaskier takes the carrot cake out of his hands. “Look in the cart.”

Geralt glances down at the cart. “Okay?”

“How many of those things in there do we need?” When Geralt keeps looking puzzled, Jaskier continues. “I’m fully aware that three boxes of Frosted Charms, peanut butter cups, and garlic bread for dinner aren’t necessities in life, but I’ve had a long week and they make me happy. Just like the nice bottle of wine I’m going to go pick up next will make me happy. Do you begrudge me those little things?”

“No,” Geralt says. “Though Frosted Charms taste like stale piss.”

“Don’t distract me by slandering Frosted Charms.” Jaskier taps him on the nose. “Sometimes, you’re allowed to get things just because you like them, not because they serve a purpose. Look at Roach!”

That earns him an incredulous look. “What about Roach?”

“You got a cat because you wanted a cat to keep you company! She’s not a horse, so you can’t ride her. She’s not a dog, so she can’t guard the house. She’s not a goat that provides milk or a chicken that lays eggs. You got her because you love her and she makes you happy.”

“Are you comparing our cat to a carrot cake?”

Jaskier feels like he’s losing the thread here. “All I’m saying is that carrot cakes aren’t something we need, but you deserve to treat yourself once in a while. Even if your version of treating yourself is disappointment in cake form.”

“You just don’t like it because it has vegetables in it.”

“And I stand by it! Cake should not have vegetables. It’s an insult to Melitele, Lebioda, and also me.”

“Hm.” Geralt’s lips twitched. “If I buy the carrot cake, can we keep shopping? They close in four hours and I’d like to be home by then.”

Jaskier makes a face at him and puts the cake back in the cart. “Come on, what’s next on the list?”

“Meatballs,” Geralt says. “Because I’m not just having garlic bread for dinner, Jask. We’re not twenty anymore.”

“I can live with meatballs,” Jaskier says, looking forward to an evening of meatball-related innuendos that will horrify his boyfriend, but also get him laid, because Geralt secretly likes it when Jaskier is obnoxious.

They start away from the bakery section, Jaskier casting a longing glance over his shoulder at the vastly superior cakes they’re leaving behind.

Geralt stops in his tracks. “You want the chocolate mousse cake, don’t you?”

“Yes, but don’t you think two cakes is a bit ridiculous?”

“Since when does something being ridiculous stop you?”

Geralt knows Jaskier far too well. Dropping a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek, Jaskier goes back to fetch the chocolate mousse cake. After all, it’s not enough to tell Geralt he should treat himself. It’s only right that Jaskier leads by example.

Also, he just really wants cake.

Domestic/Situation Relationship Prompts

Tag list: @kueble @mollymawkwrites @feral-jaskier @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @dawnofbards @thisislisa @tsukiwolf42 @mosaicscale @rockysstupidity @fontegagrilledcheese @kuripon @help-i-need-a-cool-username @julek @flowercrown-bard @eveljerome

#the witcher #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt/jaskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #ghost's writing #prompt fills