#i think its just something worth talking about

[cherienymphe]

You Get Me So High

JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: DUB-CON, STEPCEST, loss of virginity, toxic relationship (JJ's kind of an asshole), jealousy, manipulation, underage drinking, drug use, brief Rafe x reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

summary: To everyone else, JJ is just being an overprotective brother. To you, he's being a possessive asshole.

⭑

You crossed your arms over your chest, watching with a scowl as Kie entertained some guy you’d seen throw a smile her way earlier. You were leaning against a tree, acting as more of an observer than an actual participant as the music from someone’s speaker reached your ears. The tanned girl looked like she was having fun. If only you could relate…

You took a swig of beer, swallowing down your bitterness with it.

The last guy you’d been talking to had been effectively scared off, his eyes widening slightly when a familiar arm snaked its way over your shoulder. You hadn’t needed to lift your gaze to confirm who it was, the sudden nervous fidget from the guy before you told you all you needed to know. Before the familiar blond had even managed to say anything, you’d let out a small sigh, disappointment weighing you down already.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Never mind the fact that he was overstepping into your personal life, but he had to be rude about it too.

The cute brunette had stuttered, face reddening at JJ’s words. Your heart sank at the sight, gaze pleading when his eyes met yours again, but by the look on his face, you could tell that this was one argument he didn’t think was worth it. Watching him mutter an apology before stumbling away, you didn’t know what you hated more—JJ’s behavior or every guy’s lack of balls to stand up to him.

“He’s an asshole, trust me,” was all JJ had said when you gave him an even look.

Without sparing him a word nor another glance, you’d stomped away in search of something to drink.

That was how you found yourself isolated from everyone else, watching your friends have fun—namely Kie—while you were reduced to standing in the corner. You didn’t see the point, to be honest. If you got too ‘wild’ JJ would come along trying to shield you from interested eyes, and if you dared to attempt a conversation with any guy, he’d come along telling them to get lost.

To anyone else he was an overprotective brother.

You knew better though.

“You’re so dramatic,” a familiar voice drawled, and you didn’t bother to even turn your head.

Taking another sip of your drink, you pursed your lips.

“How so?” you quietly wondered.

You felt his fingers graze your jaw, and you hated the way your lashes fluttered.

Hidden away in the dark, the two of you weren’t so visible, and you suspected that was the reason for his boldness. His fingers danced towards your neck, and your heart skipped a beat when one dipped beneath the collar of your shirt, grazing a mark you both knew was there. It made you shudder, and at that you slapped his hand away.

The blond sighed.

“I didn’t want you getting caught up with that guy,” he said. “I didn’t tell you to stop having fun.”

“You might as well have,” you snapped. “You always do.”

“…because your version of fun is shaking your ass against guys who wanna fuck you.”

“At least someone does,” you muttered into your cup.

JJ heard it loud and clear though despite the music and low volume of your voice. You could feel his gaze boring a hole into the side of your face, and you refused to look at him. You finished your drink, starting to toss it on the ground before thinking better of it. Kie would have your head.

“Don’t,” JJ finally said.

You swiveled your head towards him.

“Don’t what?” you wondered with a shrug, face even despite the fire you knew was in your eyes. “Don’t wonder why you don’t want to fuck me but don’t want anyone else to either?”

You watched him press his lips together at that, shoving his hands into his pockets as he glanced around. You hated the way he wouldn’t look at you now, so bold a moment ago. Eventually you rolled your eyes, softly scoffing to yourself before pushing past him.

You didn’t spare JJ another thought as you threw your cup away, finding John B. and asking him when he planned on leaving. You all were staying over at The Chateau, and you shouldn’t have been shocked to know he was going to leave when everyone else wanted to. Annoyed with JJ more than usual, you chose to take your chances and walk back.

You didn’t tell anyone.

It was summer, but the ocean breeze cooled the night air, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, wishing you’d at least had the sense to steal JJ’s jacket. Thoughts of the blond made you frown, and a sour feeling twisted deep within your gut. You longed for the days where your fights were just normal sibling bullshit—being accused of stealing his shirts and eating all of his chips and blaming the missing beer on each other.

Now, your fights were so far from normal sibling bullshit.

Your heart stuttered at the memory of his lips on yours, an impulsive decision after getting high in his bedroom one night. When he hadn’t pushed you away, you hadn’t known what to do, never expecting yourself to get so far. You were even more stumped when he kissed you back, his hand resting on your neck while the other dug into your waist.

You didn’t know why you hadn’t expected it.

Mixed in with those fights about clothes and food and getting on each other’s nerves were also moments that weren’t known by anyone but you. JJ had always been touchy, but the nights in which he’d brush your waist instead of your shoulder left you restless. Sometimes when Pope would say something especially silly, the blond would throw you a look that had you giggling.

…but then it would linger, and you’d feel heat cling to your cheeks, and you’d swear that he ran his eyes over you in a way a brother shouldn’t. When no one else was around, he’d pull you into his lap and rest his face against your neck and rub circles into the small of your back. Despite how much you laid awake at night thinking on these interactions, you told yourself you were imagining things.

Sure, JJ wasn’t your brother by blood, but that shouldn’t have mattered.

Your parents were married, and that made you siblings, and in the eyes of the law—and society—that made anything between you wrong…and illegal. With that being said, you hadn’t been able to stop yourself from overanalyzing every exchange, trying and failing to convince yourself that you guys were just close. That’s all.

…but with your parents out and a blunt being passed between you, you hadn’t been able to stop your brain from fixating on it. Ignoring the way the walls pulsed, you’d traced the even rise and fall of his chest. You’d watched his long fingers take the blunt, the low light glinting off of his rings, and you’d watched him bring it up to his pink lips. His hair had seemed messier that night, eyes bluer, and before you knew it…

You kissed him.

You and JJ kissed for what felt like hours, pawing at each other and dragging your lips against each other’s skin. You’d taken a few hits in between, and after some time, you’d just laid there…staring at each other and gently reaching out to each other and occasionally kissing some more. His dad had been God knows where, and your mom had been working, and when you woke up…

JJ pretended like nothing had happened.

That was how it always went ever since.

Sometimes you were high, sometimes sober, and you’d find yourselves wrapped up in each other. Kissing and biting at skin and pulling at fabric. You’d spend hours touching each other, leaving marks that only you two would know the origin of, and when things started to get out of hand, JJ would pull away, convincing you to do the same. The next day—sometimes even just hours later—it was like nothing ever happened.

You watched him disappear with countless girls at parties and said nothing. Days where you’d be with Kie and run into him and some unknown girl, you’d say nothing. When your eyes would zero in on a mark you know you didn’t leave, you’d say nothing. You bit your tongue, because you got it. You and JJ couldn’t actually be anything, not for real anyway, and even if you chose to be something in secret, you hadn’t decided that yet.

So, you understood it.

What you didn’t understand though was the way his presence descended over you like a dark cloud anytime you so much as laughed with another man. If one even approached you, here he’d come playing the protective brother role so well. John B. and Pope found it admirable, and Kie may not have agreed, but she understood. JJ was just being a good brother.

Only you knew it was because he didn’t want to chance anyone else fucking you.

“Are you crazy?”

That familiar voice pulled you from your thoughts, and you cursed yourself for being so wrapped up in your mind to not even hear the approach of a familiar vehicle. Huffing, you turned to roll your eyes at JJ as John B. slowed down. The blond was leaning out of the passenger window, but when John B. stopped, he completely hopped out.

He didn’t look happy.

“Are you deaf? You didn’t see me calling you?”

You hadn’t actually—your phone on silent—and that was what you told him.

“That’s a great volume for it to be at,” he sarcastically replied.

His hand was firm on your back as he pushed you towards the van, climbing into the back behind you as Pope took his place in the passenger seat. You sat as far away from JJ as possible—next to Kie—and you were more than eager to ignore the blond and involve yourself in the conversation they’d been having before spotting you. You could feel your brother’s gaze on you the entire time, and you didn’t spare him a glance.

“He just worries about you,” Kie quietly told you later when JJ was wrapped up in some debate with the two up front. “I don’t agree with how crazy he gets, but if I had a sibling, I don’t think I’d be too much better.”

You bit your tongue, fighting back a bitter smirk. How could you tell Kie that JJ’s ‘worry’ had nothing to do with genuine concern? How could you tell her that under the cover of darkness he’d kiss you and taste you and curl his fingers inside of you, but refused to go beyond that all the while preventing you from going beyond that with anyone else? How could you tell her that so much of your fighting lately was because he wanted to keep you at arms’ length while refusing to give you up?

JJ was a selfish asshole.

You were out of the van almost as soon as John B. parked, and you were searching for a t-shirt you knew you’d left over when the rest of them finally joined you. You could hear Kie searching for something to drink, and when Pope turned to you—a question on his tongue—you shook your head.

“No, I’m…I’m going to sleep in the van,” you exhaled, feeling emotionally drained. “I’m kind of tired.”

They tried to convince you of otherwise, but you waved them off. You could feel JJ’s eyes on you, and you only threw him a dirty look as you left. You felt a tad better after getting undressed, and you heaved a sigh after pulling the tee over your head. With a grimace, you realized it was JJ’s, and you both loved and hated that it still smelled like him.

Staring up at the roof of the Twinkie, you thought to yourself that this couldn’t go on forever. JJ couldn’t keep messing with your heart and your head, and realistically, you knew that if you wanted something of a life and normal experiences, you might have to distance yourself from your friends entirely. You couldn’t even talk to a boy with JJ around, let alone form healthy attachments that didn’t involve your own brother.

It's like he was keeping you in his back pocket, and you didn’t like it.

You were drifting in and out of sleep when you heard the van door open, and you weren’t concerned by your lack of alarm. You surmised it was one of the gang, but somehow you hadn’t anticipated that it’d be JJ. When his voice reached your ears, you were suddenly much more awake, and you leaned back on your elbows with a frown, watching him climb in and close the door behind him.

“No,” you snapped, fully sitting up, now. “This is my spot, and I don’t know what excuse you gave everyone else, but it was a waste because I don’t want you here.”

He ran his hand through his hair, fixing you with an even look that made you roll your eyes.

“I’m not here for that…”

“Sure,” you mumbled, pushing your back against the wall and crossing your arms over your chest.

“I’m not,” he firmly repeated. “Look, you’re mad at me and… I don’t like going to bed with us pissed at each other.”

“…and yet you do everything in your power to make that happen.”

“Y/N.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you finally hissed at him, tears kissing your eyes. “I can’t say shit when you’re off fucking God knows who, but if I so much as blink at another guy, here you come.”

JJ at least had the sense to look ashamed, his gaze lowering.

“You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else-.”

“I do want you,” he harshly whispered. “You have to know that by now, but I…”

You watched him take a deep breath, eyes troubled, and you pulled your knees to your chest. You didn’t move when the blond reached for you, the tips of his fingers grazing your leg, and you hated the way it made your heart race. When his gaze met yours again, you swallowed, finding it difficult. He ran those blue eyes over you, and the look in them was wholly familiar.

“I’m supposed to protect you,” he whispered in the small space. “When our parents got married, I thought ‘hey’. I have a sister now, and I need to look out for her and protect her from assholes who’ll try to get in her pants.”

JJ sighed, and it sounded frustrated.

“…and now I’m one of those assholes.”

You glanced away, frowning.

“…but I want this just as much as you, so who cares?”

“…and little kids want candy all day every day.”

“You do not know better than me, JJ Maybank! God, you would swear that you’re soo much older than me by how you talk down to me sometimes, but we’re one year apart, you ass!”

He had moved closer, now, a deep frown on his own face.

“We can’t be anything.”

It looked like it took him a lot to say that, and you looked between his eyes, chest aching at his words. They were true, but that didn’t mean they hurt or stung any less. With a deep breath, you blinked, jaw clenching.

“Fine,” you whispered. “Then stop kissing me.”

You watched his face fall at that, and you raised a brow at him.

“Stop touching me, stop sneaking around with me and crawling into my bed almost every night, JJ. Stop…stopping me from living a life I can actually experience in public.”

He didn’t like the sound of that, and when he turned away, you bitterly nodded.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

You got close to him, tone haughty.

“You keep yourself from fucking me out of some sense of morality and integrity or whatever, but not only is the damage practically already done, you’re making it worse by doing the very thing you won’t let me do,” you choked out. “When you want me, you can find some girl to distract yourself with, but all I have is you.”

You moved away, grabbing your blanket and preparing to lie back down.

“How is that fair?” you muttered.

He didn’t respond, and you turned your back to him, staring at the inside of the van and just wanting him to leave. He laid down with you instead, and beyond annoyed and saddened by the conversation, you didn’t have the energy to tell him to get out.

You forced yourself to find sleep with your back to him.

You could taste blood on your tongue, but despite this, you couldn’t allow yourself to release your lip from the pressure of your teeth. JJ’s lips were pressed to your throat, leaving open mouthed kisses, his breathing heavy and uneven. Your own chest was heaving, and your hand was wrapped around his wrist. You liked the feel of it moving in your grip every time he thrust his fingers into you.

Your thighs were spread wide, JJ standing between them, and you could faintly hear the splashes of your friends goofing around in the water. You tried to be mindful of that, knowing that any moment now your prolonged absences would be noticed and investigated. You almost wanted to curse JJ for following you down here, but with his fingers curling inside of you, it was hard to remember why this predicament was bad.

Turning his head, he captured your lips in a kiss, and you were hungry in kissing him back. He tasted the inside of your mouth as his fingers stretched you out, wrist snapping between your thighs and making your toes curl. You knew that you’d have to jump in the water the very second you went back above deck, afraid to see what kind of mess you were making—the mess JJ was currently contributing to.

You hadn’t even realized he’d followed you until you’d turned to go back after grabbing your snorkeling mask. You personally hadn’t thought anything of John B.’s comment on your bathing suit, not unfamiliar with the casual flirtation from both him and Pope. It meant nothing, both of them remaining consistent in that behavior with Kie as well—something even JJ was guilty of.

So, you didn’t know why it’d set him off today of all days.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he hadn’t touched you in weeks. Between locking your door at night and skipping out on outings and just all-around distancing yourself more, JJ hadn’t even had any opportunities to get you alone. He talked a big game about wanting to do right by you, but at the end of the day, you knew that it’d be up to you to really put in some effort to ending this.

…and it was a good effort, but JJ was just more daring than you’d anticipated.

Cornering you and fingering you below deck of the boat with all of your friends just outside was something that you would’ve put even past him. It was too risky and stupid and had potential for drama you didn’t even want to think about. However, it was clear that his desire for you outweighed all of that.

When you gasped into his mouth, the blond cursed.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “Quiet…”

You wanted to tell him that you wouldn’t need to be quiet if he hadn’t basically attacked you, but you couldn’t find the words. His thumb was circling your clit, and three of his fingers were creating a delicious burn that had your lips parting against his mouth. Your free arm was haphazardly thrown over his shoulder, hips bucking against his hand. His free hand was digging into your thigh.

You hissed, struggling to speak.

“JJ,” you quietly whined. “I think… I think I’m about to…”

You couldn’t get the words out, but he understood them.

Pulling away from you, he dropped to his knees, fingers still pushing into your dripping cunt. He didn’t hesitate to lean in, burying his face between your thighs with his lips covering your folds, tongue swiping back and forth. The sensations had your eyes rolling, and when he sucked on the hood of your clit, your reached up to cover your mouth.

Your other hand twisted into his hair.

He didn’t stop thrusting his fingers into you even as you came, mouth still attached as well. You couldn’t stop the movement of your hips, feeling possessed as you lifted them in time with his wrists, fucking yourself onto his fingers and grinding against his face. He hummed, and the vibrations caused a shudder to crawl down your spine.

You felt like you were coming forever, dropping your hand and hissing when he lazily massaged your walls with the pads of his fingers. When he pulled them out, he dragged his tongue up your core one last time before sliding his fingers into his mouth. You were still catching your breath when he handed you your snorkeling mask, and you hated the sight of that small smirk dancing along his lips.

Pulling your bathing suit bottoms back into place, you hurried past him, uncaring if you bumped into him or not.

That was how it always went.

Outside of that first kiss, things were always on JJ’s terms, and sometimes you wondered if that first kiss was even an exception. After all, it had been years of flirtatious looks and teasing touches leading up to that moment. That kiss was something JJ clearly wanted—evident in the way he’d kissed you back—and you sometimes wondered if you would’ve even entertained such thoughts if it hadn’t been for him.

You hated how little control you seemed to have in this ordeal. You’d gone out of your way to do what JJ always claimed he needed to do, and what happened? The very thing you both knew you needed to put a stop to. Despite what JJ liked to preach, it seemed he was never going to let you go, and the unfairness of it all was really getting to you.

“Do you think he remembers that he already slept with her? Or are we witnessing a rare event, right now?”

Pope’s words created a heaviness in your chest, and you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at what they were looking at. JJ was indeed talking to a girl you’d seen him disappear with before, and the sight caused a burning sensation behind your eyes. You didn’t understand how JJ just didn’t care how shitty this was for you, and while they were distracted, you slipped away.

You were at a house party on Figure 8, a rare occurrence, and you had Kie to thank. The host wasn’t the average classist jerk, but he’d made it clear Pogues were only allowed if they were invited by a Kook, and Kie’s one foot in one foot out life came in handy. While your friends were distracted by the prospect of JJ sleeping with the same girl twice, you found yourself getting a drink in the kitchen.

When you felt someone brush against your arm, you thought nothing of it.

“I know you,” a voice said after some time.

Glancing up, you were greeted by a very familiar face.

“You’re JJ’s sister.”

Rafe seemed proud of himself for recognizing you, index finger pointed straight at you as he nodded. Unsure of what to say, you merely sent him a tight smile as you raised your brows as if to say ‘in the flesh’. You turned back to finish dipping your drink when he moved, and when you looked at him, he was leaning back against the counter, gaze curious.

“Don’t you usually have a bodyguard or two with you?” he hummed, a glint in his eye that promised nothing good.

You found that you liked it.

“They’re a little distracted at the moment,” you said with a roll of your eyes.

The dirty blond hummed to himself, and you didn’t miss the secretive smile on his lips.

“They’re slacking on their job,” he said, suddenly excitedly exhaling as he grabbed a drink of his own. “Which makes mine a whole lot easier…”

You gave the rich kid a look, and he rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.

“I’m heading upstairs. It’s a little crowded down here…and you’re welcome to join me…”

His blue eyes gave you a quick onceover before he brushed by you, and you tapped your finger against your drink, contemplating his words. Rafe was a rich asshole that was probably the closest thing any of you had to a mortal enemy—the guys especially. He was a classist dick who’d gotten into quite a few fights with your brother and your friends…but he would also fuck just about anyone.

You knew that Rafe was mainly motivated by your relation—blood or not—to JJ, and the effect it’d have on him if he knew Rafe had hooked up with you in any capacity. You also suspected that he probably had a hard on for slumming it with Pogues—some type of power imbalance kink going on there—but you didn’t care.

All you cared about was the fact that JJ kept pushing and pulling you without a care as to how it made you feel. He claimed he didn’t want to cross a certain line with you out of fear of becoming the very thing he’d sworn to protect you from, but you felt that line was crossed the first time his face had found refuge between your thighs.

Both JJ and Rafe were assholes…but not only was Rafe the kind of asshole to give you what you wanted, he’d also never pretend to be so righteous.

Rafe didn’t give a fuck about being righteous.

…and that was how you found yourself following after him, looking behind you to make sure you weren’t being watched by anyone who mattered. Rafe was just inside the hallway when you reached the top of the stairs, almost as if he knew you’d follow him. Was there an air of desperation that surrounded you or was he just that confident?

You grabbed onto his arm as he led you into a bedroom.

“JJ’s not looking for you, is he?”

His voice came from behind you as you glanced about the room.

“Do you care?” you wondered, looking over his shoulder to watch him dump a few pills onto the desk.

He chuckled to himself, perfect teeth winking at you.

“Of course not,” he quietly said. “He’s just always one step behind you, hovering over your shoulder.”

His tone made you tense, but his next words made your heart drop.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that brother of yours wanted you for himself.”

You looked away, clearing your throat.

“…and I think you watch too much porn.”

When you looked at him, he was approaching you, now, softly laughing to himself. He pressed the tip of his tongue to the roof of his mouth as he studied you, that same glint in his eye that both scared and excited you.

“Maybe…”

You watched him place a pill on his tongue, and when he leaned in, you nervously let him kiss you, swallowing that same pill. Kissing Rafe wasn’t like kissing JJ. Never mind the fact that you didn’t feel any guilt or feel like this was wrong, but Rafe kissed you like he was trying to get you to have sex with him. It made your eyes roll, and when his hand landed on your throat, you reached up to touch it. He forced you to step back, and when the back of your legs hit the bed, you shakily sat down, his lips still on yours.

You knew that this was reckless—dangerous even—because Rafe didn’t seem the type to stop if you asked him to stop. It was a good thing you were angry and hurting and feeling petty because otherwise you didn’t think you’d be so sure of your actions, right now. You didn’t care about Rafe, and so you didn’t have any stakes in this—no concerns about your heart and your feelings and what tomorrow would be like.

Every time you kissed JJ, you felt like your chest was going to explode. You felt something for him, evident in the way it felt like getting stabbed every time you saw him kiss another girl. It was why you always gave in, not strong enough to seriously resist him every time he got his hands on you. Sometimes you protested as of late, sure, but they were shallow, only said out of obligation and always abandoned for what your heart actually wanted.

…and JJ knew this.

Maybe that was what made it hurt more, the fact that JJ knew what he meant to you and still kept you in this unfair corner. He had too much so-called integrity to go all in with you while simultaneously using other girls, but he was also too selfish to just let you go and live an openly romantic life. It was a constant push and pull that fucked you up…and also drove you to place your hand on the back of Rafe’s neck.

You were lying down now, the rich blond on top of you, and you’d long forgotten about JJ and your friends downstairs. It felt good to kiss someone who wasn’t your brother, and when Rafe’s hand found its way between your legs, you decided that felt good too. You gasped into his mouth, and you felt him smile into the kiss, fingers sinking into you.

“Shit,” he quietly hissed, dragging the word out as he kissed down your jaw.

You lifted your hips up against his hand, holding him closer the wetter you became. You were panting beneath him, hands running over him, and there was a bout of disbelief in the back of your mind—disbelief that you were about to lose your virginity to Rafe Cameron in some stranger’s bedroom at a party.

There were a few moments in your life where you’d swear that if you and JJ didn’t become siblings after you were already born, you’d think you were actually related with how telepathically linked you seemed to be. This seemed to be one of those moments, because it was as if he’d read your mind and knew exactly what you were up to.

When the door swung open, you were only startled.

It never occurred to you that JJ would be on the other side should someone come knocking.

It didn’t until you looked over, a protest already on Rafe’s lips when your gaze met a familiar blue one. Rafe’s words died in the air as he registered just who had interrupted you, and for a split second you took satisfaction in the way JJ’s eyes widened at the sight before him. He looked shocked and disgusted all rolled into one, something else glinting in his gaze you just couldn’t name.

Your satisfaction, however, disappeared as quickly as it came.

Any and every emotion in JJ’s gaze was quickly replaced by fury.

So much happened so quick, and before Rafe even had time to get off of you—an arrogant comment on his lips no doubt—JJ had grabbed the other blond and was already punching him. Your surprised shriek drew the attention of your friends who were apparently upstairs too…looking for you. You’d pushed yourself back further up the bed just as the room became more crowded.

Kie was the first to reach you, John B. and Pope hurrying to get JJ off of the older blond.

The other girl was saying something to you, and as you looked at her, you realized that this was the moment the Ecstasy chose to kick in. You were trying to focus on her words, but everything felt distractingly different, and you could only blink when she grabbed your lids, staring into your eyes.

She cursed.

“JJ, JJ!” she struggled to get his attention. “She’s high, we need to go.”

Those words seemed to whip him into shape better than any efforts from John B. or Pope, the blond immediately abandoning Rafe and making his way to you. When he touched your face, you could only smile at the feeling before remembering that you didn’t like him at the moment. When you jerked away from his hands, your brother heaved an irritated sigh.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, grabbing you despite your protests.

Kie helped him, and you didn’t even care to look back to see if Rafe was okay. You only wanted JJ off of you, but considering your vulnerable state, you knew that wasn’t happening anytime soon. You were thankful the music was loud, no one privy to what exactly went on upstairs, worried the host might decide none of you were welcome back. Pope and John B. were close behind you three as you were practically walked to the van like a child.

Seated just inside the van, you looked away from JJ when John B. said he was going to start the vehicle. The blond didn’t like that, grabbing your face and making you look at him. His actions were met with a loud and painful slap, and the sting in your hand didn’t even bother you. Kie and Pope looked out of place as they glanced between you, wondering what they should do.

The silence was loud.

“Just get in the van, guys,” he slowly said. “We’re fine.”

Neither one of them looked sure of that, but accepting that this was something between siblings, they reluctantly did with Pope moving to the front. You could hear both of them talking to John B. just as JJ took your face into his hand again, fingers pressing into your chin and jaw. You didn’t miss the way his own jaw ticked as he looked at you, and you wondered what he was thinking about.

“Not here,” he quietly bit out, tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek. “Alright…?���

You felt your lips tremble, and you couldn’t stop a few tears from escaping, JJ’s face falling at the sight.

“You treat me like shit,” you whispered just loud enough for his ears only, leaning in closer. “I wish that I’d fucked him.”

JJ’s entire visage changed at that, a stricken look on his face as he seemed to realize Rafe hadn’t manipulated you or forced you into anything. His blue eyes were wide as he looked at you, something passing through them that you couldn’t place, and you didn’t care to figure it out. You only moved away from him, scooting back further into the van and lying down. When Kie offered you some water, you took it.

She patted your head as you lied back down, turning to answer some question from Pope just as John B. started the vehicle. As it purred to life, your gaze traveled to JJ who was sitting opposite you, his blue eyes never leaving you. He didn’t look happy at all, and even through your ecstatic haze, you found yourself wishing you had fucked Rafe just to make whatever was to come worth it.

JJ’s hand was tight around your wrist as he pinned it beside your head. The only sound in John B.’s bedroom was that of your harsh breathing and the rustling of sheets. That dull aching pain was still present from when JJ had first slid his cock into you, but it was overshadowed by the full sensation his fingers had never been able to give you. Your free hand pressed into the small of his back, and his teeth in your shoulder reminded you of how angry the blond was.

John B., Pope, and Kie had only stayed for a few minutes before leaving again, using the excuse of going by the store to get you things you’d need while you came down. You suspected they wanted to give you and JJ some privacy, hoping you’d argue whatever it was they thought you needed to argue out of your system. The brunette had told JJ that it was fine to put you in his room.

You should’ve known that things weren’t going to be that simple.

“Rafe?” he’d screamed at you, and the drugs in your system made his voice seem louder which in turn made your anger feel stronger.

“If you want me to say sorry, I’m not,” you’d tearfully whispered. “We aren’t together…and I can fuck whoever I want just like you do.”

Your words had given him pause, and you could see that JJ at least felt bad. You were sure he always felt bad, but it had never stopped him. Whatever moral high ground he’d been trying to stand on was backfiring, and in his attempts to not be the bad guy, he’d become the worst guy.

“How do you think that makes me feel?” you’d spat, although it didn’t come out as angry as you wanted. “You tell me that we can’t be together. That we can’t do this, and we can’t be anything…but then you kiss me and rob me of just about every first I have left and then you push me away. Over and over and over again.”

You hated the way your voice cracked, unable to get a handle on your emotions.

“That’s mean, JJ. Do you get that?” you angrily looked between his eyes. “You are so mean to me…”

Your voice shook, and JJ knelt before you, reaching for you, but you snatched your hands away. He settled for resting them on your thighs instead, seemingly at war with himself as he sighed.

“I’m not trying to be,” he slowly said.

“Well, try harder!”

Your outburst made his expression harden, and you hated the way he glared at you, now.

“Like you? Hmm?” he wondered, and you looked away. “You’re…you’re going to pretend like you weren’t trying to get back at me by going upstairs with Rafe?”

You rolled your eyes, lips parting as you pressed your tongue to your teeth.

“In a way…yeah…” you rolled your neck to face him again with a shrug. “…but I didn’t think you’d find out.”

JJ froze at that, looking stumped for the second time tonight.

“I thought you’d gone off with that girl!” you screamed, throwing your hand out. “You weren’t supposed to…”

You trailed off, avoiding his gaze once you registered the realization in his eyes. The room was deathly silent, and you wrapped your arms around yourself. You were struggling to hold back tears, throat feeling incredibly thick, and the more JJ just stared at you in silence, the more uncomfortable you felt. When he finally did speak, you almost didn’t hear him.

“You were going to have sex with him?”

You didn’t respond, feeling that your silence was answer enough.

“You were actually going to–look at me,” he sneered, taking your chin into his hand again. “You didn’t intend for me to find out? You were actually going to fuck Rafe Cameron.”

JJ’s blond hair was going every which way, courtesy of his hands running through it the entire ride home. You didn’t have a response he’d like, and he seemed to know that, just staring at you with wide eyes. Jerking your face out of his hold, you angrily wiped your cheeks.

“You treat me like something you keep in your back pocket, and you’re shocked I went upstairs with a guy I knew would make me feel wanted?” you murmured. “…and of course, it doesn’t hurt that you two hate each other.”

You watched JJ look away, swiping his tongue between his lips.

“You make me feel like there’s something wrong with me, JJ.”

He looked shocked at that admission, and you shrugged.

“I’m good enough to fool around with a little, but not good enough for there to actually be something between us…” you continued when he started to open his mouth. “…and you say its because you don’t want to be that guy you’d vowed to protect me from, but you’re already that guy.”

You shook your head at him.

“You know how I feel about you, and you tell me that we can’t be anything then okay, fine, I could accept that…but then you keep coming back to me! You ignore any kind of boundary I try to have to make things go back to how they were. You just,” you scoffed. “You do what you want, and I can’t do anything.”

“…because none of the guys on this island are good enough for you!”

His hands were on your shoulders, and his fingers kneaded into your skin.

“Including me,” he quietly added. “…I’m not good enough for you.”

He shakily exhaled, running his eyes over your face.

“…but the thought of you with anybody but me makes me want to be sick,” he slowly confessed. “No, its not right, and its not fair, and I’m sorry.”

You watched him stand again, running his hand down his face.

“…but that doesn’t make it okay for you to go upstairs with Rafe,” he told you, sounding angry all over again. “He is way worse than I could ever be.”

“Well, he’s not scared of you, so at least I know he’ll fuck me.”

JJ stared you down at that, and you stared back, entirely serious.

“When you’re trying to get over me, you get under someone else,” you reminded him. “I don’t see why I can’t do the same.”

JJ’s entire face clouded over, and you could see then that he could see the determination in your eyes. Whether it be tomorrow or next week, you were going to sleep with Rafe. You were tired of being hung up on someone you couldn’t have—someone who wouldn’t let you have him—and you didn’t understand why you had to endure lonely nights just because JJ said so. He wasn’t your boyfriend, he wasn’t your anything, and as he stared at you, you could see the realization on his features.

If he didn’t want you sleeping with anyone else, then he’d better come up with a damn good reason.

“Fine,” he relented, nodding to himself. “Fine.”

He approached you, grabbing your face and pressing his lips to yours. While you enjoyed the kiss, you felt that JJ was getting what he actually wanted too easily, and you turned your face away while pressing a hand to his chest.

“No,” you mockingly spat. “I didn’t have to practically beg Rafe-.”

Your words were cut off by JJ’s tight grip on your arm, and you nervously looked at him, swallowing.

“Do not say his name,” the blond forced out. “Do not bring up Rafe to me, right now.”

His grip made you wince, and you thought to yourself how far he would’ve gone with Rafe if Kie hadn’t stopped him. JJ was still pissed about the ordeal, no doubt recalling what he’d walked in on, but at the moment he was more focused on finally giving in to what he’d denied himself for years. Kissing you again, he forced you to swallow any more mentions of the Kook.

He was desperate to get you naked—and you felt the same—and he couldn’t stop kissing you the entire time. His skin felt so warm against your own, chest pressed against yours and hands following a familiar path. His fingers had only prepared you so much, and that was how you found yourself pressing your nails into his skin as he stretched you out.

Somewhere along the way, you remembered that this wasn’t your bedroom nor your house and that you two wouldn’t be alone all night. You lifted your hips to meet JJ’s thrusts, moaning into his mouth and pushing against his hand that had yours pinned. He pulled his lips away to kiss along your chest, curving his hips against yours and thrusting into you with a slow and steady pace.

With the X in your system, it felt like an out of body experience.

You threw your head back, chest arching up against his, shuddering at the feel of your skin grazing his own. When he let your hand go, he slid both of them underneath you, palms resting on your ass as he lifted you onto his cock with every thrust of his hips. You reached down to rest your hands on his wrists, toes curling. His face was pressed into the crook of your neck, now, and you loved the feeling of his tongue on your skin.

“It’s just you,” he murmured into your shoulder. “From now on, it’s just you.”

Reaching up, you twisted your fingers into his strands of hair, gripping them and playing with them. You felt like you were floating, your entire body buzzing and warm, and you could only dazedly nod at his words. When he lifted his head to look down at you, there was a peculiar look on his face, and then he chuckled.

“I forgot,” he breathed, pressing his lips to yours and talking into the kiss. “I know this feels fucking amazing for you.”

Hooking your arms under his shoulder, you held onto him as he plunged his cock into you. You couldn’t swallow anything down, gasping and mewling beneath him, begging him for things you couldn’t even comprehend. His hair touched your forehead when he pressed his own to yours, nose brushing yours as he stared into your eyes.

The bed shook beneath you, and deep within your mind, something in you felt bad that this wasn’t your bed. That thought reminded you that your solitude wasn’t permanent, and you heard yourself let out a small whine.

“They’re…they’re probably on the way…”

Your words died in the air, lashes fluttering and eyes rolling when JJ snapped his hips against yours. JJ shushed you, promising to make you come before they returned. Moments later, he kept that promise, and you held him to you as you trembled beneath him, clenching around his cock and milking him as he came moments after you did.

Everywhere he touched, heat bloomed, and you didn’t want him to let go.

“Sleep with me,” you murmured, frowning when he pulled out of you.

You could make out him looking for your shirt, quickly putting it on you, and JJ kissed your cheek once you were covered, lips lingering.

“I will when they’re asleep,” he told you.

As if he’d conjured them up, you heard the unmistakable sound of the Twinkie pulling into the yard.

“I’ll stay the night like I always do,” he promised you, moving to get dressed.

When he was decent, he sat on the edge of the bed, pulling you into his arms. Your head rested against his stomach, the walls pulsating and the floor moving a tad. JJ was saying something to you, but you couldn’t quite comprehend it, your mind already focused on something else.

“I won’t sleep with Rafe, JJ,” you heard yourself murmur, and he was silent, but you did feel his hand resting on the side of your neck, fingers grazing your jaw.

There was conviction in his tone as he brushed his thumb over your lips.

“You weren’t doing that, anyway.”

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #obx #outer banks #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fic #obx imagine #obx fic #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic

[beary-rambles]

Shots

summary: you’ve been best friends with jacaerys since you were children but due to his recent girlfriend you two have barely spent anytime together. You two are forced back into the same space when you attend cregan starks party and tensions rise

r.q: Nothing specific but please give more modern jace w smut. Your work is so gooddd 😩

w.c: 2k

c.w: porn with a little plot, a little angst, modern!college!cregan, modern!college!jace x reader, cregan the miracle worker, oral (f!receiving), protected sex (WRAP IT UP!), not proofread

a.n: i have a couple requests im supposed to get done before this but when i saw this in my inbox it wouldn't leave my mind 😭 love you guys hope you enjoy 🫶

requests are open - masterlist

You didnt want to come to this party tonight but cregan had practically begged you to come.

‘i dont know cregan.’ you had told him while walking out of your shared lab class. ‘oh come on itll be fun,’ he pauses and thinks for a moment before having a devious grin on his face. ‘if youre worried about it i promise you wont see jace. he said hes busy’ you eye him and he swears hes not lying so you shrug and tell him sure you’ll be there leading him to hug you before running off.

its not like you hated jacaerys, you couldnt the two of you are best friends. Well you're currently unsure of how the two of you stand, his current girlfriend seemed so determined to be rid of you and you didn't want to get in the way you backed off not wanting her to feel uncomfortable but its since left you feeling strange.

You should feel happy for him, he's found someone he seems to like but instead you’re left with a sharpness in your chest anytime you think about him and someone else. You like him. No maybe you love him but he clearly doesn't seem to like you like that so you can never tell him that. You're happy he isn't at this party and is busy doing whatever he’s doing. You decided you need to take your mind off him, you can keep yourself stuck in your head over this and you certainly cant be crushing on a taken man.

Now youre stuck talking with this guy, something Lannister you don't even know his name, but he seems more than eager to be talking with you and for that a part of you is grateful you didn’t have to work to hard to get a guys attention.

“Wheres the bathroom?” “Ill take you to one.” He grabs your hand harshly and begins to lead you to the staircase. You tug at the hand hes stuck holding and attempt to get him to let go telling him you dont need him to hold you. He says something about it just being quicker and you should just follow him. This rings alarms in your head and now your gripping the rail and forcefully trying to get out of his grip. “get the fuck off me!” “just shut the fuck up and come with me.”

“What the fuck do you think your doing man?” Your eyes widen in shock at his voice as the lannister scoffs at him, “just trying to take the lady to the restroom velaryon.” “she doesn't wanna go with you man let her go. and theres not a bathroom up there.” He walks up to the other guy and shoves him back his hand lets go of yours and with your new freedom and you quickly put a distance between you two. The lannister mumbles some shit under his breath and ends up walking upstairs alone, “she isnt even worth it.”

“are you okay?” jace quickly rushes back over to you and grabs your hand check it looking at you alarmed. “im okay thank you jace.” He lets out a sigh of relief and takes a step back running a hand through his hair. You just stare at him and your heart races, god hes so hot wearing just a pair of shorts and an open white button up with his whole chest out, the necklace you had given him for his birthday a couple years ago sits nicely on his chest, his hair is wet and even so is his chest leading you to realize he had been out in the pool. He was at this fucking party. Cregan that fucking asshole. “i thought you weren't coming.”

He tilts his head at you and shakes his head, “who told you that?” “Cregan.” He hums and turns away for a second mumbling some stuff under his breath you swear you hear something about cregan being an ass before turning back to you. “He must have gotten the dates mixed up.” All you can do is nod and play with your fingers, its awkward. You have never felt awkward around jace so this was different, of course your own feelings have to come around and ruin everything. While you look down at your hands you dont notice that hes just staring at you with a starry eyes. “You want a drink?”

You look up at him and you feel hot finally noticing his gaze on you, “sure.” The two of you make your way to the kitchen where you walk past cregan who gives you a wink as you walk by that fucking asshole, what was he even trying to do? As you watch jace you cant help yourself, “hows… oh whats her name?” you mumble the last part under your breath unable to even remember the poor girls name. He just hums and hands you a cup, “Claire? Oh we broke up.” you gasp and look at him shocked, “oh my god im so sorry.” he smiles at you and shakes his head easily tossing the shot into his mouth. “She cheated on me, you know that guy mason,” “the guy in the photography course?” “yeah with him,” “he looks like her cousin,” “thats because he is her cousin.” you gasp in horror on of you hands flying to cover your mouth as you try not to laugh.

He laughs, and makes a fist to cover his mouth, all you can think about is how beautiful he is, “You can laugh you know its funny.” with his permission you dub over with a laugh and shake your head, “thats unbelievable.” “imagine my shock!” “Im still sorry by the way, thats really shitty.” He continues to look out in the distance as he takes other shot, “its alright love i was gonna dump her anyway.”

You take a sip from your cup and just watch him, “why? thought you liked her?” For the first time in awhile he looks over at you and you take notice of the affectionate look in his eyes as he smiled softly at you. “i realized i liked somebody else.” “Ah.” you look away and you feel him move closer to you and grab you chin to look at him. “You wanna know who?” “Jace..” Hes standing so close you can smell his cologne, his hand leaves you chin and runs down your arm. “Ive known her for a long time but i only just realized how much i love her, I’ve been a fool.”

You kiss him, reaching your hands to cup his cheeks, he deepens the kiss his hands grabbing your waist to pull you closer to him pressing you directly against him. You dont know how long youve been standing there just kissing him, when you two pull away to take a breath you can hear a get a room from someone who walks by and you remember youre just standing in some random guys kitchen and press your head into his neck. “this is so embarrassing.” he just laughs and presses a kiss to the top of your head. “You wanna come back to mine?” His implications are very clear to you especially as you feel his hardness pressing against you, you nod.

Not even thirty minutes later he had you laid out bare on his bed, his mouth latched onto your clit leaving you desperately clinging onto his hair as you throw your head back, “jace.” he hums as he brings one of his hands down to play with your folds as his other stays firmly on your stomach pressing you down onto the mattress.

as you get closer your hands stray from his hair and fist the newly washed sheets under you as you continue to call out his name. you've been with a couple guys in the past but none pf them compared to how jace had been making you feel, none of them made you quiver and shake when you came like he did. he mouth finally detaches from you and he sits up looking at you while licking his lips. “That good?” You slap his chest and continue to take some deep breaths, “fuck you.” “i will i promise.”

His shirt and shorts had been thrown off somewhere, probably out laying in his hallway along with your clothes. He quickly slides a condom on before climbing on top of you so his necklace is dangling in front of you. “You good?” you nod at him and he kisses down your neck and leaves kisses all over your breasts. “Need you jace.”

“you need what baby?” you groan as you feel him push his dick between you fold lightly rubbing up and down. “Please jace.” “what is it? tell me and ill do anything for you.” He looks at you expectantly and you let out a strained moan as you begin to beg him, “please fuck me jace please please.” he hums happily and quickly readjusts himself, “You only needed to ask baby.”

You feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest as he thrusts into you, as your hands grip his his back and running down it as he continues to thrust, thats definitely going to leave a mark. but based on the hiss and groans he lets out that tells you he likes it.

You swear youve never felt so good, he continues to hit the deepest and sweetest parts of you. He fucks you so fast and hard you're shocked the bed under you stays intact, he brings one of his hands down to your clit and your hands dig into his lower back and you cant help but press your head to his shoulder. “Jace fuck jace.” your mouth his muffled against his skin but he acknowledges you by bringing his lips to yours into a harsh kiss matching the thrusts of his hips. “Wanted this for so long jace.” he groans and you swear he somehow begins to move faster, “me too baby me too, now that i have you ill never let you go,” he licks at the sweat that has dripped his way to you neck and his hands move to grip your waist, “gonna fuck you everyday, i promise fuck best pussy in the world.”

You whimper at his words and your head is once against pressed against his shoulder, “im so close.” “cum for me baby please i need to feel it,” he hisses as he feels you bite into his shoulder and his eyes rolls back into head, “im right behind you fuck cum please.”

“i love you.” the words leave you easily as you cum. He cums at the sensation of you releasing, “fuck i love you.” leaving him twitching and still as he huffs and puffs, out of breath. he pulls out with a hiss and lets out an apology as he sees you wince, he climbs out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom, getting rid of his condom and coming back with a towel cleaning you and him up before climbing into bed next to you.

“fuck that was good.” the two of you laugh and you roll yourself to look at him. “did you mean it?” he hums and draws shapes on your stomach, “mean what?” “that you love me?” He looks at you with a dumbfounded look, “are you serious?” you rolls your eyes and try to turn away but he grabs you and pulls you close to him pressing your face against his chest, “of course i love you you idiot.” you smile and press a kiss on his chest before you fall asleep.

when you wake up the next morning and check you phone you see some text from cregan from last night.

‘saw you leave with jace just now 😁’

‘you’re welcome you bitch 🫶’

#house of the dragon #hotd #hotd imagine #jacaerys targaryen x reader #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys strong #prince jacaerys #jacaerys targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #hotd jacaerys #jacaerys x reader #jace x you #jace velaryon #jace targaryen #jace x reader #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #hotd x y/n #house of the dragon fanfiction #house of the dragon fanfic #house targaryen #jacaerys #modern hotd #modern jace #modern jacaerys

[ooctlt]

I think the etiquette of ask blogs is a forgotten art. what I'm saying is (imo) it's not that people don't want to play, it is they don't know HOW, and more importantly they don't understand that the game exists to begin with. obviously you do not have to teach people the rules because your time and energy is finite but idk. it feels like from some of your OOC responses that you assume people know the rules and are playing badly, but I genuinely think people (me) just don't know what you are wanting them (us) to do. and also they (i) don't know how to tell if they (i) are playing the game correctly.

An example I am genuinely confused about is, is inciting a "shut up" answer a signal that the game is being played correctly, because we are inciting a reaction from the character? or is a "shut up" answer a signal that we are playing wrong and need to do something different? I'm sorry. I really love your art and seeing the story unfold but I'm confused and I want to play and I don't understand how.

yeah ive had a couple people tell me this has been the first active askblog in a while and the concept of askblog etiquette has been forgotten- @thatneoncrisis and i made a diagram:

link to full-res image

a "shut up" reaction will hopefully show whether or not it's a closed path of exploration: if you have gideon sweating, going "pshhh its nothinggg" it means there is something worth exploring. if you have harrow slamming the door in your face, that is an advance that wont work on her

transcript under the readmore:

DEAD END QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU THINK HARROW'S HOT?

"Please stop talking to me."

This question is BAD because it's BLUNT, INCREDIBLY PERSONAL and founded on INCOMPLETE KNOWLEDGE of their relationship.

NOTE that its not that shitty questions will NEVER be answered, its that 1) they have a LOWER chance of being answered and 2) they have a HIGHER chance of being made fun of in character

gideon: haha who thinks harrow is HOT

DECENT INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU LIKE TO DO ANYTHING FUN WITH HARROW?

"Sure. We run a lot of errands together."

This kind of question may not advance the plot, as it is INCREDIBLY BROAD yet NONINVASIVE. They're good for quick 1-3 panel answers. May generally be met with a less EXCITING answer.

It might also be DIFFICULT TO ANSWER because a broad question could include MULTIPLE ANSWERS - asking "do you guys go out" could not be answered SUSTAINABLY, because i cannot draw all the places they visit

ANON: EVERYONE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOUD / WATER / MOLECULAR STRUCTURE / BONE / CAR / COFFEE BRAND/ BOOK CHARACTER?

me: "i have to do so much research"

NEAT QUESTION CAMILLA HAS HARROW EVER ASKED YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER SHE WAS EXCITED ABOUT?

"Yes, actually. She once invited me to [REDACTED], I didn't know she liked that sort of thing."

This question is SICK AS FUCK because not only do you learn something SUBSTANTIAL about the characters, you have stumbled upon A NEW PLOT BRANCH, one that actively deepens character connections and their past within the world. It specifically remarks upon a MEMORY* rather than AN OPINION and will typically be LONGER.

Another good option is to PROMPT something following this:

ANON: CAMILLA, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TAKING HARROW OUT TO DO [REDACTED] THAT SHE LIKES BEFORE XYZ?

and this can then spiral onward…

*DM, ONE TIME I ASKED ABOUT A MEMORY AND I GOT A RUDE ANSWER; WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

It's not that this topic can never be spoken about, it's about WHEN you asked it and HOW you said it, or even WHO you asked.

Some topics, like the nature of HARROW AND GIDEON'S UPBRINGING are too recent for them to talk about, it has only been TWO YEARS since they left and there are SPECIFICS about the situation that the AUDIENCE hasn't discovered yet. There are things like GIDEON'S PARENTS that she CANNOT answer because she DOESN'T KNOW and answering multiple asks with I DON'T KNOW becomes repetitive and dull for both the DM and PLAYER.

BUT! She can learn! Over time, when the time is appropriate and feels the most natural for STORY PROGESSION. Think of it like a BAD ENDING in a visual novel. You START OVER and ask a DIFFERENT QUESTION, or approach it from a DIFFERENT ANGLE. If Gideon reacts poorly to someone congratulating her leaving BAD CIRCUMSTANCES, consider talking to her about the FUTURE. Instead of trying to pry at Camilla to see if she had an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP with Pyrrha, try to ask about other things in that period of her life, like how they met or what caused her to move out.

FINALLY, if you'd like an ask to be answered out of character, your best bet would be to goto @notedchampagne and send it there. If you'd like an ask to be answered SINCERELY or you don't want SNARK, you can specify this in the ask, but know this blog may not be your thing.

#actual ooc

[porcelainseashore]

Into the Ether (3)

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, ...)

Pairing: Vampire! Toreador! Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader

Summary: At the all-night events cafe you run, you’ve become acquainted with an elusive patron, Leon, though you can never remember the last moments of your interactions together. After a harrowing encounter, a love-hate relationship develops between the two of you as you grapple with your newfound status in a world of darkness and investigate the reasons behind the untimely attacks.

Content & Warnings: 18+ Resident Evil x Vampire: The Masquerade crossover, horror, mystery, romance, slow burn, strangers to enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, eventual smut, swearing, smoking, non consensual blood drinking, blood bond, vampire turning, violence, injury, mild gore, torture, minor character death, RE characters (Chris, Claire, Ada, Wesker, Jill, Sherry, Hunnigan, Rebecca, Baker Family, Merchant, Patrick), VtM concepts (Camarilla, Anarch, Sabbat, Second Inquisition, Toreador, Ventrue, Brujah, Gangrel, Nosferatu, Malkavian, Tremere, Ghouls).

Authors' Note: Suggestive themes, violence and mild gore ahead.

Taglist: @admirxation @xoxostarlet @miss-oranje-disco-dancer ❤️‍🔥

AO3 Link

Chapter 3: Fires of Rebellion

“So, talk,” you demanded, crossing your arms as you kept yourself at a suitable distance from Leon. 

Both of you were currently walking up north along Good Street towards the City College. The plan had been to take a left at some point and head over to the park by Warren Street, where hopefully there would be some benches for you to relax on. It was still early enough in the night for your surroundings to be relatively bustling with people, so you weren’t too worried that the man beside you would try anything risky or stupid. In any case, you knew where you kept your pepper spray at hand if things went south.

“You’d already sensed it from the beginning,” he stated, swallowing thickly. How was it this hard to tell you who he really was? If he could sweat blood, he’d fill a whole bucket’s worth. Pig’s blood. A cop in pig’s blood. He knew plenty of people who’d pay to see him drenched in the vermillion fluid. “That I’m not exactly normal.” That was what he settled with.

“What, you mean like a serial killer or something?” you scoffed, shaking your head in mild vexation.

“No.” His voice was solemn but firm as he glanced at you briefly, making eye contact. “I didn’t… assault you, not in the way you think.” He pressed his lips together into a thin line. “I just- I do things… that aren’t exactly normal.”

Great, Leon. You just made yourself sound like a fucking magician. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and paused his footsteps. “This is going well.”

You almost felt sorry for the guy. He seemed to be having such a difficult time articulating what he wanted to say. Was it some sort of kink he was talking about? The logical part of your mind berated you, insisting that this could go down far worse than you imagined, but you pushed it aside.

“Like what?” you asked, your morbid curiosity getting the better of you.

His jaw tightened as he shifted his weight uncomfortably from side to side.

Before he could respond, you took the initiative, positioning yourself in front of him as a form of challenge. “Show me,” you requested.

His head darted in every direction, scanning the area with an animalistic instinctiveness and you thought you saw his eyes illuminate in a different color. However, when you blinked a second later, it had returned to its original pale shade of blue. “Too many people,” he muttered. “I’ll do as you ask, but we need to head somewhere quieter.”

You should’ve ran off after he said that, but your legs stayed rooted to the ground. Your lack of self-preservation was alarming. “The park, then?” you suggested.

He nodded in compromise. “I could work with that.”

The rest of the walk there took place in awkward silence, as you dwelled on what he would do and whether you were walking into one big, fat trap. Well, at least Patrick had his business card. And PIs, they had a registered license, didn’t they? It was too late to back out now, you’d gone this far and you wanted to see it through.

When you had found a secluded bench at one of the shaded corners of the park, he spoke up again. “Do you remember the first night we met? When-”

“You offered me cigarettes in exchange for coffee,” you finished the sentence for him.

“Yes,” he said with a wistful smile, as if reminiscing about a day he’d cherished but had long since passed. “You felt it, didn’t you? Compelled to stay, but with no reason why.”

Despite your reluctance, you had to agree with him. That moment between standing by his table and sitting with him to share in a smoke had been like entering the twilight zone. You were you, but yet, at the same time, weren’t.

“I can do it again here, if you want,” he murmured, his eyes burning with an intensity that seemed to bore right into you.

It wasn’t the first time you had leaped before looking. You’d always been known to be a little more reckless than your peers, but it seemed like you never really learnt your lesson well. “Be my guest,” you gestured melodramatically, as your hand swept across in one grand motion.

“Now, you’re just mocking me,” he chided, though a ghost of a smile still lingered on his lips.

This time, there was a tingling sensation in your body, like an invisible warm light gradually enveloping you, except it seemed to exude from him. You were entranced by his stature, the minute details of his face, everything about what he was, to the point where you couldn’t tear yourself away from his gaze.

“Sit,” he directed gently, placing his hand along the back of the wooden bench.

You felt nothing but desire. Desire to do anything he wanted you to. Without a word, you sank onto the bench like a doll, still giving him that doe-eyed expression one would normally reserve for a celebrity they were starstruck by.

Taking his seat beside you, he urged, “Come closer.”

Obediently, you shuffled up along the bench towards him, except it wasn’t out of fear of punishment, but a strange, radiant love that emanated from within you. When you were just inches away from his face, he slowly revealed the tips of his canine teeth, which were pointier than usual, and seemed to grow with each passing minute. As his features eased up, you could feel the uncanny warmth dissipate from your core, and though you were still captivated by him, his face seemed to lack the same lustrous sheen it held moments ago. Like a wandering spirit, you had arrived back into your own body. You were you again.

His eyes latched onto you, waiting, watching, biding his time, to see what you would do. Though he remained poised and composed, the unsteadiness of his breathing and the flicker of trepidation across his irises gave him away. He was afraid that you would leave him, for good. And after what he had given to have the right to Embrace you, he wouldn’t know how he would live with himself if he were rejected.

It felt like hours had gone by until one of you spoke up. “Do you hate what you see?”

“No,” you answered, almost too quickly, cupping his cold cheek in the palm of your hand. He closed his eyes and sighed blissfully into it, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. It felt moist and heated against your skin.

You surprised yourself with how well you were taking all of this in. This shouldn’t have been possible and nothing about what he had shown you made sense. You blamed your tolerance on the late, sleepless nights and hanging around with the offbeat characters who frequented your cafe. 

What if monsters did exist? you humored. Maybe not in the literal sense of vampires, but someone who relished the flavor of blood, and who’d learnt a few tricks of hypnotism. You tried to rationalize it as much as you could, but there were still so many missing pieces you did not fully understand.

“How many times?” you asked. “Did you force me… each night?”

He lowered his gaze, marred by shame, while looking to his hands nestled in his lap. “It was just that once,” he whispered. “I wanted you to stay with me.” 

He pursed his lips. “The rest, later on… was you.”

“Did you-”

“Yes.” 

You didn’t even need to continue your sentence for him to know what you meant. Yes, he tasted your blood. Yes, he enjoyed it. Yes, he came back for more. And more.

“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked.

You didn’t acknowledge his apology, allowing even more time to slip through your fingers. A while later, you ran them along his cheek towards his lips, where his teeth which now looked more like fangs lurked. Right, how would you explain that away?

He didn’t stop you when you traced one of their edges, as if trying to figure out if they were real. He let you press the tip of your finger against its peak, purposely pricking yourself in some kind of deluded masochistic fantasy. The rush you felt from it was indescribable, like a spike of venom flowing into your veins, though it wasn’t as intense as the previous times to truly immobilize you. Grasping onto the back of the bench, you steadied yourself from the dizzying sensation.

A dark, ruby bead blossomed at the site of the puncture. His mouth lay open as he inhaled sharply, gripping the trousers on his thighs, and there was a wild look in his bloodshot eyes. However, he remained motionless, restraining himself somehow, as if awaiting your instruction.

“You like this?” A mixture of bewilderment and arousal seeped into your tone, as you brought your bleeding finger to rest just at the entrance of his mouth.

All at once, his veneer of calmness shattered. He swirled his tongue against your fingertip, causing you to gasp as it made hot laps around the miniscule droplet of blood you had to offer him. Dipping his head, he took the rest of your digit into his mouth, eventually sucking on it whole as he emitted a low groan in pleasure. When he finally let it go, a slick string of saliva connected to it from his lips, wet and hungry with need.

“I, um-” you shuddered, at a loss for words, as you retracted your finger, folding it into your hand.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he straightened up in his seat, adjusting his attire and hair, as if he had come back to his senses once again. “You don’t have to decide on this right now,” he assured you.

“Okay.” You nodded shakily, your mind spinning from all the events that had just transpired. “Could we take another short walk before I head home?” 

It would probably help to cool off a little, you thought.

“Anything you need,” he asserted, getting up as he took another glance around the park, before extending his hand to you.

You stared at it, contemplating further. “Just don’t-” you hesitated, pausing to rephrase your words. “I want to trust you, Leon.”

“I’ll earn it back,” he promised. “However long it takes.”

That was all you needed to hear from him. Perhaps you were naive to a fault, but you took his hand anyway, allowing him to lead you out of the park, and to whatever else fate had in store for you that night.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Over the course of the evening, a thin fog had developed, shrouding the sky and enveloping the moon and stars in a blurry veil, casting a muted light over the city. You and Leon had taken a short detour towards the more touristy part of town, where the landmark Saint Michael Clock Tower overlooked the grand waterway.

The ornate, Gothic structure loomed intimidatingly ahead, its roof cloaked in a wispy gray mist, though you could still make out the time on its huge clock face. Ten minutes past midnight. It was getting late, and although you were accustomed to working until the wee hours of the morning, you preferred to get some sleep on your nights off when possible. However, right now, a part of you wished that the night would last longer. 

There wasn’t such a wide distance between you and Leon as before. In fact, your fingers were nearly touching, but neither of you had taken it further to close the final gap. Even in complete silence, punctuated only by the sounds of the city’s buzzing nightlife, both of you had somehow agreed on which pathways to take, falling in sync with each other’s footsteps, pauses and turns, like an unspoken dance. It was nice like this, having no expectations of the other person, just walking and feeling the thread of connection that bound the two of you.

Every now and then, he peered at you inquisitively, and you wondered if he had something to say, but when you looked his way, he turned his gaze back to the street in front of him. Coming to the entrance of a tunnel arbor near the clocktower, you paused to admire the sight of the vines and flowers that were wound around the metallic arches, interspersed with marigold fairy lights. There were still a decent number of stragglers in the vicinity. Probably the remaining tourists for the day who didn’t quite want to wrap up yet, some of whom were posing for pictures near the picaresque arbors.

“Cat caught your tongue?” Always the instigator and taking the confrontational approach. That was what you were known for.

“Hm?” he deflected, yet smiled at you knowingly.

“Just looked like you had something to say.” You shrugged, placing your hands on your hips.

“Nothing escapes you, huh?”

He was teasing you again; you were certain of it. Though this appeared to be twofold, where the second part was meant as a misdirection to hide a secret from you. 

“It should be obvious that I like you,” he stated plainly.

Obvious to the point where he couldn’t afford to have one of those obnoxious Anarchs stake their claim over you, just for a bit of territory. You were worth so much more to him than that. Surely, it would be the lesser of two evils for him to be the one to Embrace you? It was all he could think about when he made that deal with Ada. Always justifying and compromising. That was what he was known for.

You couldn't fathom the sheer astonishment and joy that overcame him when Ada returned with the news a few weeks later:

“The Prince granted your wish,” she mentioned with an indifferent wave of her hand.

“How?” he choked in disbelief. “It usually takes years!”

“You underestimate me,” she scoffed. “Have you forgotten that I’m the voice of society?”

“No, of course not.” He hung his head in disgrace, as if he had just been told off by a parent.

“Anyway, I don’t have to tell you twice that you should thank him in person.” 

Lifting a bejeweled chalice to her lips, she tasted its contents, allowing it to linger on the palate before letting it wash down her throat. “And by ‘thank’, I mean ‘grovel’.”

“Yes, sire.” He bent down on his knee and kissed the back of her hand in respect.

A shadow of annoyance flickered across her face, morphing into a frown. “You do know this makes you look weak?” she questioned rhetorically. “Being unable to convince the Prince yourself?”

He knew better than to respond when Ada was in such a mood.

“Don’t embarrass me.” 

Her warning rang loud and clear in his ears.

“Who is it obvious to?” you challenged, pulling him out of his reverie. Maybe you had an undeniable urge to see him lose control over you again.

At this, he drew closer towards you, his eyes ablaze like a blue flame, as he snaked his arms around your waist. That was it - the thrill, the feeling you missed. It rippled through your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake. But before he could go any further, a sudden force tore him from his hold on you, hauling him violently backwards. He was flung in the air across a couple of yards, landing against the wall of a building with a sickening crack.

In the background, you heard screams coming from all directions, alongside whooshing sounds, followed by loud thuds. One soon popped up behind you and in an instant you found yourself smacked to the ground. There was a shrill ringing in your ears, your eyes watered, and your vision blurred as you started seeing double in front of you. You felt the back of your head. Wet. Sticky. Flowing. Your fingers were red and the concussion you suffered induced a dizzying spell.

A grizzly face appeared before you, but you couldn’t quite make out any distinguishable features, except for the familiar shape of long fangs that glistened under the arbor lights. There was no time to put up a fight or even cry out for help, as you began to sink deeper and deeper into unconsciousness.

Leon had watched the entire scene unfurl before him like a twisted snuff film coming to life. The attack had taken him by surprise, but he quickly got up from his fall, resetting his bones and shaking it off like nothing had happened. The whole place was awash in scarlet. Blood streaked the city streets, trickling into every gap and crack, as the victims were messily drained of their lifesource. Whoever was behind this wanted the world to know. And that was when he witnessed the first of them turn.

A Mass Embrace? These Kindred definitely reeked of the Sabbat, and if not, they weren’t anyone who had been presented before the Prince; he would know. There wasn’t a second left to spare - he had to find you immediately. In his line of sight, he saw one of the culprits feeding on you greedily, and the primal rage he felt within him almost caused his Beast to take over. He hunched over and growled ferociously. His features transformed into something monstrous and his eyes were crazed as globs of saliva dribbled down his mouth.

It was fanning the flames of a Frenzy, one where he would slaughter every being in his path regardless of who they were, tearing them from limb to limb, and eviscerating their carcasses for what they had done to you. But his concern for your well-being won him over. Mustering up his willpower, he resisted the Beast as much as he could, and though he was still enraged, he needed to think straight and prioritize getting you to safety. That was all that mattered.

In the bat of an eye, he zipped across, yanking the other vampire away from your limp body, as they traded rapid blows. Another aggressor joined in the fight, as Leon dodged their swift counterattacks with deceptive ease, before connecting his right fist to one of their jaws and dealing a precise uppercut with his left to the other’s ribs, catching both of them off-guard. 

Everything seemed to pass by in quicktime as he moved with an unnatural grace, spinning mid-air over one of their backs, only to grab the other from behind and slam him to the ground savagely. Gathering the rest of his strength, he took advantage of the momentum to stomp on the vampire’s head with the heel of his shoe. There was a nauseating crunch as his skull caved in from the blunt force trauma, splintering and sending blood splashing across the pavement, driving him straight into torpor. One down, one more to go.

The brutality of the violence he had displayed unnerved him, yet fuelled his excitement as adrenaline coursed through his veins. He attributed it to being partially influenced by the Beast the moment those bastards had put your life in danger. At least he had not fully succumbed to it. That was what he tried to tell himself while putting a lid on his unquenchable thirst for more. More violence. More bloodshed. They deserve it…

A cacophony of ghastly howls erupted from a distance, bringing him back to reality. Jill, it had to be, Leon realized. The Sheriff was coming to subdue this severe breach of the Masquerade. As the other vampire lunged at him, Leon’s reflexes took over, timing it such that he skirted the edge of the assault unscathed. Instead, he circled around, placing the attacker in an unyielding headlock. The vampire struggled vigorously, attempting to kick and claw his way out of Leon’s grip.

It was then that he heard Jill’s gruff yells in the vicinity, as the pack of dogs under her control barked and gnashed their teeth viciously at the remaining offenders, clamping down on their legs to prevent them from escaping. The Hound, a group of Kindred who reported to her, had arrived in tow, twirling wooden shafts in their hands, each sharpened at one end. Grinning menacingly, they struck at the assailants, staking them immobile before dragging them away.

“You need this one?” Leon called out. He might as well play by their rules where he got the chance, even if the Prince himself had decreed a perpetual Blood Hunt on the Sabbat. Anything to be in the former’s good graces. It was all for show, anyway.

Jill turned sharply, her mouth contorting into a wicked smirk, as she stalked towards him. “Leon… always at the right place, right time, huh?” Her voice was more akin to brutish snarl, but he knew when she meant her threats and when she didn’t. At this point, she was on his side.

“We have our hands full of the rebellious trash.” She jerked her thumb back to her crew, who were skulking around in the dark with their catch. “Kill this motherfucker.”

Without hesitation, Leon snapped the vampire’s neck clean, ripping his head off in the process as his lifeless body fell to the ground in a heap. Letting out a huff from the effort, he tossed the head aside, feeling nothing for the wretched being that lay at his feet. Or did he? He chose not to dwell on it any further, finding something else to distract himself with as he glanced down at his clothes, frowning when he noticed they were smeared with all sorts of fluids and innards. Dry cleaning was gonna be a bitch.

Jill signaled towards your body with her chin. “This one’s barely alive.”

“She’s mine.” A deep-seated possessiveness surged through him as he stepped between you and Jill, unwilling to let you be snatched away from his grasp again. Swooping down, he lifted you into his arms, ready to cart you off from this gruesome site. “Please, I don’t have much time.”

Narrowing her eyes, she tilted her head and a low rumble reverberated from her chest. “Alright, pretty boy. You’re answerable to the Prince though,” she warned.

“Understood,” he replied snippily, cringing at the nickname she often used to wind him up.

Directing her attention once again to her Hound, she commanded, “Torch the rest!”

The poor, newly created vampires never stood a chance, dealing with both the life-changing alterations to their bodies and the molotov cocktails now lobbed at them. They had no idea what was happening as they were set aflame in the towering bonfire, screeching and wailing until they were reduced to nothing but ashes. The smell of singed skin and flesh hung in the air.

Tightening his grip on you, Leon recoiled involuntarily in fear as he fled from the raging inferno. “Hang in there for me,” he whispered, praying to a long-forgotten god that he wouldn’t be too late this time. 

Racing like his life depended on it, he kept to the shadows, using the cover of darkness to navigate through the maze of Raccoon City towards his haven.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy angst #leon kennedy fluff #resident evil #vampire au #vampire the masquerade #vtm #crossover #porcelainscribbles

[yesimwriting]

I love ur felix fics sm!! ur one of my fave writers on here<<333 and no I don’t think itd b crazy to write for Nate!! I’d love to see how u would write him!! (Maybe grumpy x sunshine hehe)

hi!! this is such a nice ask :)) i'm so happy you like my felix fics

omg i love ur train of thought for a nate fic!! i've been thinking about that kind of dynamic for them, but in a really niche way

anyways let's have some thoughts on nate jacobs and sunshine/kind of sheltered reader!!

----

thinking about the moment in which you find out nate jacobs is your assigned partner for a project that's worth 35% of your final grade. if this was happening to you a year ago, maybe even two or three months ago, you might have been nervous for an entirely different reason.

but you're not that version of yourself anymore. you go out to parties now; you wear shirts to school that your mom buys for you the same way she used to buy you impulse barbies, with a wink as the cashier scans them, making you promise that you won't show dad what you got at the store; you're friends with maddy and cassie...you're on your way to best friends with maddy and cassie.

so you can't dismiss the gossip and the stares nate gets in the halls as a standard part of high school, not the way you used to. you can't just see him across the hall at his locker and mentally acknowledge that you get why girls talk about him the way they do. you can't just get paired up with him for an extremely long assignment and think oh, at least he's cute.

every story maddy's ever mentioned during sleepovers, everything she's teared up about after one too many drinks hits you at full force when your teacher reads your name and then his off of her list.

would she see this as a betrayal? it's not like you picked him and asking for a new partner is out of the question, a fact your teacher made clear at the beginning of the year. but maddy's loyal...fiercely loyal, and she expects that kind of commitment to be symbiotic.

you don't move, can't move until jules leans towards you, so close her hair spills onto your desk. "no fucking way." she whispers it in a way that'd make you laugh if this was about someone else.

you're silent, eyes finally pulling away from a brightly colored poster explaining the roles of each branch of the US government. you turn your head enough to look at where nate sits, the back of the room with a few other football players.

he's already looking at you. and when nate realizes you're finally staring back, he has the audacity to let the corner of his mouth pull into a smug sort of smile you're sure another version of you would have considered swoon worthy.

you're all instructed to use the last few minutes of class time to talk to your new partners, to make some kind of preliminary plan. nate's standing up and you're still recovering from the whiplash.

helplessly, you look over at jules who's clearly trying to get to the other side of the room before nate can get to you. she mouths a "sorry" that feels genuine, and points at the girl she's supposed to work with in a way that feels like over kill. you roll your eyes, picking up your pen and pressing the pad of thumb against its side to have something to do.

nate's in front of you before you know it. he's so tall it's a little intimidating when he's right there, especially with you still sitting. "you're everywhere now." a reference to the fact that you were both at the same party last weekend. you can still hear maddy's slurred i can't believe he's fucking here, before she dragged you out to the house's patio.

he's probably seen you more places. you're around maddy pretty regularly these days and from what you've heard, you wouldn't put stalking above him. he's probably a stalker in the way guys from the news are stalkers, calm and untouchable until they feel like the girl they're watching is moving on. then they snap and some news anchor reports that there were warning signs for months beforehand.

you're partially aware of your potential exaggerations, but you can't bring yourself to care. you've never really interacted with nate, but you want to hate him as more than the monster you hear about when maddy feels like ranting. you want to viscerally hate him. it's such an instinctual tug that you can't pretend it's all about morality. you're craving innate repulsion the way an elementary school girl wants the other half of a magnetic necklace with the word "best" etched into cheap metal. it's kind of pathetic, but then again...

"not last year, or last semester--"

he's baiting you and you're completely aware and you still can't help yourself. "what? it's illegal to make new friends now?"

your tone surprises you more than the fact that you interrupted him. you've never been overly shy, but you've also never been much of a fighter on your own behalf. maybe this is like the parties and barbie-style-bought-shirts, just another facet of the improved you.

nate seems surprised too, only he wears it like there's something funny about it. "no, you've always been friendly."

he says it like there's a joke in there that'd make the football players a few rows back laugh. it digs at you more than it should. he gets under your skin in a way that bugs. maybe that means genuine hatred is on its way.

you look up at him, eyes as unimpressed as you can manage. "so," the word is definite, intentional. "the project..." you're glad for the excuse to turn your attention back to your notebook, "i don't know if you want to work out a time to--"

"i'm leaving in like five minutes." you're about to point out that class doesn't end for another when he explains, "football game." ugh. another thing you can decide to be annoyed about. your homework schedule is now going to revolve around high school football. "can i get your number?" the idea of existing in nate jacobs's phone feels so wrong you can't immediately reply. he picks up on your hesitation, because he tacks on the one phrase that could get you to do anything, "35% of our grade."

you nod once, expression as blank as you can manage as you write out your phone number on the corner of a page. You tear off the bottom corner and hand it to him. "don't save my number."

it's so rude, your jaw almost drops, "what?"

"you're going to see maddy before the project's over, right?"

the implication immediately makes your stomach knot. you're not--you can't not tell maddy. she won't like it, but she can't hold a random partnering against you. and--and it's worse if you don't tell her, because then it's like you're sneaking around with nate. and it's--it's all for school.

"i'm not going to lie to her for you." it's so ridiculous, you can't even hold eye contact. his silence adds a second loop to the knot in your stomach. "why would i lie?" your own genuineness sickens you, you're backtracking immediately. "and--and it's just a dumb school thing, so she probably won't care that much."

"and you're sure she's going to believe that?"

"yes," the word is firm because it has to be. "because that's what it is."

"she gets paranoid."

no, no--he's doing this to get into your head and cause problems. "if she's paranoid it's because you're crazy."

"fine." he shoves the scrap of paper into his pocket. "save my number, don't save my number. tell maddy, don't tell maddy."

you sigh. "why do you care?" they're broken up...even if maddy takes it the wrong way, the fall out will be a you problem.

"she's going to think i fucked you to hurt her." you hate this--the situation, the conversation, the fact that you can't completely dismiss his train of thought. "who's known maddy longer?"

you're about to try again, to defend your friendship with maddy and call him crazy again when the static of the intercom speakers interrupts you. all football players are being called out of class to leave for an away game. nate gives you one last look before turning towards the door.

when jules slips back into her seat and asks if you're okay with everything, you nod and attempt a joke about catching fuck boy germs, but it doesn't come out the way you want it to. she still laughs, so you do too, but that's not as natural as it should be, either.

----

lmk if you like this concept/want more of it!! i had fun writing this :))

#euphoria x reader #nate jacobs x reader #jacob elordi #jacob elordi x reader #nate jacobs

[netherfeildren]

vic get behind me i will physically fight this plagiarizing person if they try to get near you or your work. protecting you and that old man at all costs

you’re very sweet and i appreciate you a lot

there’s a conversation worth having here that delves deeper into the blatant disregard we’re seeing for creativity in all spaces now. like so many people no longer find merit in being passionate or original or see the value in giving something real of themselves into their art anymore. it’s all AI and stolen writing and lukewarm rip offs of someone else’s effort. industry, fandom, academia, it’s so pervasive

but what i think these people will always fail to see is that work come from the heart is always obvious in its intention. you can’t replicate caring about something passionately when you’re hunting for clout or popularity—this goes for your online space or your personal life’s work.

idk if this is my deep deep disillusionment with this space i’ve been battling lately, my lack of motivation to be creative or what but i’m kind of just like fine…if you want to plagiarize me, copy me, emulate me whatever it is that one would feel excuses their theft then like go for it. your lack of passion in the project will always be obvious, not only in the work but in the way you move around it, the way you talk and engage with your own work is indicative of the love you have for it and you can’t fake or steal sincerity of that nature

#vic replies

[skyevie]

I finally finished both mcl new gen episodes (kind of long post about my opinions and feelings)

Tbh I wasn't so sad about the old mcl coming to an end because I think when armin was removed back in hsl it just prepared me for whatever could come next LMAO. I am a big fan of Jason and Amanda, the rest of the Li's... are there I guess ! I think the new point system is kind of weird and overcomplicated for no reason, I really don't like the fact that we have to pay AP's for dialogue and clothes because I can either buy more clothing/recolors and be satisfied with how my character looks or save up for the new episodes... and the fact that you can't buy AP with money, only the blue hearts that can be traded for AP? (not to mention that the prices went up comparing to go mcl at least in my country) But you also need the blue hearts for those special moment with LI's every ep... like idk its sad that there is a part of content you can miss out because you simply don't want to spend money every time an ep is here lol. The missions (which is basically the eldarya expeditions) are fine since we get clothes for that. The calendar is a nice touch up because it's something new and refreshing. But the paid part and vip subscription and the clothes offers in the shop are the next thing that don't seat well with me.... Like we could get a little more for that price... especially since it rounds up to 120 dollars per year... And the fact that all the cute outfits are locked behind a daily shop rotation that have to use real money on... Oh and the last on the more negative side why does our uncle only give stuff for our fuckass goose.... We love you Taki but it's not that serious we could get like a t-shirt... or smth...

On the positives, I really like the fact that our Candy can have a personality now! Like finally we aren't a blank page that adjusts to the people we talk to and we can have opinions AND THEY MATTER! Also the clothes are much cuter, like finally someone thought - yes u can be an adult and have fun clothing and not dress boring! We love that! And I giggled to myself a little when I read why Candy switched her job lol. Reminder me of Eric's arc Eric we love you forever idc about what other said about your route.

At the end of the day I think I will try the vip for one month just to see is it really like worth it for someone who is going to be rather active on this game. Idk im excited for the plot tbh and especially how much it changes depending on the fact if we romance the Devenementiel LI's or Jason.

Also if anyone needs help with answers to the episodes I can help :3

#mcl #mcl new gen #my candy love #my candy love new gen #my friend asked me if was writing a constitution #otome game so impactful on your life you write a whole pharagraph on tumblr

[ganondoodle]

with every thing i learn about what the directors of totk said in interviews it all just gets worse huh?

the thing about the shiekah tech just vanishing and nobody caring enough to look into it was already rough and now i learn they said that -after botw zelda wondered if hyrule as a kingdom was still needed but then totk happens- just sounds like she wondered if hyrule as a kingdom still needed to exist in the way it had been (which would be an interesting change for once and also make sense for her character) and then they took her back into the distant past with the super good guy king of a godly race to teach her the lesson what her place is and that yes, their monarchy needed and good and really given to her by "gods" and what if big evil black man shows up again

i dont have the energy to get into it further but needed to say soemthing about it bc it keeps bothering me :(

#ganondoodles talks #ganondoodles rants #kinda #anyway #zelda #totk #big yt theory guy posted a video about how he doesnt like totk and was very defensive about it knowing hes swinging a bat at hornets nest #and i was surprised by that and commented on it that he isnt as alone in feeling like that as he might think #and bc its youtube theres gotta be some weirdos #so someone really saw my comment in probably 300+ comments by now #and felt the need to say that they didnt get anything from what i said other than me writing -zonai- as sonau #which i considered replying to with -other languages exist- #but its really not worth to get into a discussion with some rando on youtube #i then discovered you cant block people on youtube anymore just mute them either #also their account name had -israel- as the first word in it so #something tells me they wouldnt be very fun to argue with

[jils-things]

more of a reminder to myself but i think it works for others too

its okay to have a crush on characters and create content for the selfship once and not do it again. sometimes its just that little burst of motivation of "if i cant immortalize an imagery of me kissing them then whats the point" they don't have to be your fo immediately its okay to just. create something out of it to let out that lil excitement and they're just a crush

others might expect that you'll be creating more content with them since you might've made a really well thought out concept for your insert/oc but its not the case and thats okay

#this is me with a lot of my pokemon crushes and i dont really bother to say it aloud because its. really minor but sometimes they just swoop #in my head momentarily and im like ohhh i gotta. make something. #me with morty AJAJSJHEJS no but i have a lot of really cute ideas in my head lollll #bil.ly kid works too - but also because the game isnt officially out yet for me to get a grip of the concept #like im also beginning to remember and realize i had MORE genshin crushes than i thought i had but its not worth mentioning because. #ill probably not talk about it again LMAO #thooo if anyone i think morty is gonna be crush im willing to draw a lot for #~ rambling #i think i got off track but yeah

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life #MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do. #unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !! #i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi #from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D #this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but... #haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one #anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character #ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so #much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite. #fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online #a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more #fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her #too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders #standing!! #anyways from me just having fun being me #i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic #and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be #confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing. #anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah #toontown #toontown corporate clash #antonymph #guz art #rainmaker

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[doomednarrative]

Personally I cant do really early days STARS/RPD era Chreon for a lot of reasons, one being I'm just not interested in it because theyre cops at the time, but the other reason is that like. Part of what Compels me about these two as a pairing is seeing them years down the line when theyve already been in the fight for awhile against bioweapons and all that and theyre on equal footing in their own right. Chris is a BSAA captain, Leon is a capable agent, it puts them on equal ground but it also means that they've already seen so much shit that they Know what each other has been through this whole time.

I think both of them struggle with the notion of wanting a relationship, and even just with friends at times, because they don't to involve anyone on the outside of the fight who doesn't understand the depths of things. People who don't understand that this will probably end in death or heartbreak, or even just watching someone you love get hurt a lot and having to deal with that pain. And its That unique situation that makes Leon and Chris compelling to me personally, because here's two guys in the thick of it who Know the risks and the threats inside and out and they chose to say "No, I'm going to care about you reguardless because its better to go thru this together than alone, even if it hurts" and I dunno man, something about that kind of defiance, especially with how headstrong they are just as separate individuals, it gets me.

#this could also apply to valenfield for what its worth but im talking about chreon because thats where my interest personally lies #but its also why everytime i think about vendetta specifically my heart starts aching because that fuckin bar scene gets to me #chris can see in leon the same struggle he was having in edonia and he doesnt want that for him. hed rather support him thru it #than see him lose to the drinking like he did #it fucking gets to mee #and then theres leons bit in 6 after he and chris fight #where he says 'Chris has been in this fight as long as I have. I Trust Him.“ #and we barely Ever hear leon say that about anyone so you Know it means something that he trusts chris #just. fuckin god man they fuck me up #aughhhh #chreon #kief rambles about resident evil

[daisywords]

as someone who was raised with a comparatively healthy mindset around food, I keep being baffled/concerned by other people’s eating practices that they’ll just drop like it’s no big deal. “I’m doing this intermittent fasting thing where I only eat one meal a day” girl if your one meal is the salad you eat every day for lunch I’m. that’s eating disorder behavior. and they talk about this stuff like it’s normal! “I’m trying out this new meal plan where—“ oh a starvation diet? You’re starving yourself?

#anyway spending time with a couple of my coworkers especially is making me dig in my heels #I’m eating three square meals a day! And I’m not budging on that! And I’m not going to be embarrassed about it! #Bc the worst thing is like. would I like to lose 20 pounds? Admittedly yeah #But idk I don’t think that’s the right way to do it! #Not that I am a paragon of physical fitness or anything but like! That’s literally unhealthy you are wrecking your metabolism probably #I would rather be a little squishy then live in this weird alternate universe where people are supposed to be on a diet by default!!! #and idk when girl that are already small are putting themselves through this and getting noticeably smaller it’s like #ok good for you I guess but is it worth it? #mostly writing this to reassure myself because it’s hard not to feel like I’m the one that’s wrong #idk if you feel like you need to lose weight logically you must think I’m some sort of beast or something #like I thought I was normal but maybe not haha #But anyway I hate how we just slapped new jargon on eating disorder behavior so we can talk #About it like its a health trend and something normal to do

[todayisafridaynight]

So Allegedly Infinite Wealth is 100 hours... not that you can't already spend that long on the games if you really want to, but I'd say it's the first time that could be said to be the base experience rather than a time only hardcore completionists are likely to get.

Yokoyama was talking at length about wanting to make the game worth the price tag since the team is incredibly conscious about the value of the players' time and money. They essentially feel they owe players ten times what they paid, so they're aiming for "an enjoyable 100 hours, but also an unforgettable 100 hours."

If they pull it off, I personally think it'd be 100% worth it and not just a "well other studios are doing it so we can get away with it too" price hike... I'm at least happy to know that's not the intent, and I'm intrigued to see how everything pans out and what the ratio is between story and side content

oh yayaya i saw that article this morning!!! 100 hours is actually so unfathomable to me in terms of an rgg game- i mean y7 was At Minimum around 45~50 hours but when i think of other RPGS that easily dip into 70's and 100's of hours, i'm not too surprised to see LAD start to climb towards those numbers now. it'd be such a jump in rgg's terms tho, so i'm TRULY curious to see where the nearly doubled gameplay hours comes from..

i really appreciate yoko's respect not just to RGGS but also to its customers: they want to make a great product, but they also don't want to sacrifice what they want to do to do that in the process

#snap chats #very timely article since .. i think it was passport i dont exactly remember who it was that was concerned about the game quality #maybe it was kana... idk one of you lot LMAO POINT IS thank you for reading our minds yoko #i wouldnt mind 100+ hours of island content LMAO but fr im truly curious to see what the main plot's gon be bout then #i mean we KNOW the main plot but yk what i mean... how the hell does this pan out.. #REGARDLESS. i never had any issue with the LAD8 price #maybe its just cause i dont buy videogames too much <- liar (theyre old so like .2% cheaper its ok i think) #in rgg's case i always know im gonna get something i'll love for months- even years at this point #either way its nice knowing that yoko's at least aware of people who aren't happy with the price #and even besides that still just want to make a worthy game #aint nothin wrong with knowin your worth.. i think. #talking about videogame prices in general honestly im p sure the avg price for a game should be in the 100's by now #going off inflation anyway #so the fact devs are still trying to keep it under the $100 is. Something to me anyway #the quality of games- in terms of graphics anyway- has really gone up. idk if that warrants a FAT slap of an expense in the end #but it's not hard for me to understand the crawl towards it right #but now im ramblngi LMAOOOOOO anyways #haruka did nothing wrong yoko said it himself <3

[numericalbridge]

🔥 every time darius is shown to use his abomination form he is using it in a very deliberate and calculating way, and not because he is supposedly so angry/furious

meanwhile every time he shows real strong emotions, whether positive or negative, he is not in the transformed form (though his abomination powers are clearly important to him with how he uses them for affectionate gestures, etc).

and, imo, both times he is seemingly very outwardly furious - with Raine in ER and the kids in the ASiAS - he is playing the role, possibly playing up the real annoyances (because he is more often shown to be annoyed than angry in actual canon). and compare to how he reacts to other coven heads who are his real enemies: focused fighting with Vitimir, concern over Eber AND over failing to stop the spell in KT, and disdainful and stern expression in the finale. It's concern, hurt, or pettiness, annoyance rather than explosive anger.

[added more ramblings in the tags]

#darius deamonne #toh darius #the owl house #obviously there might be situations when he would transform out of anger - like fighting belos in an au #but it would take much more than what fanon prescribes imo #and i think being very deliberately in control of the abomination form (doesn't mean always but most times) #makes a more interesting take on the abomination magic being like his second nature while also being a science or art form he perfected #and i don't think it takes anything out of the supposed parallels with belos either since it doesn't need to be one-to-one comparison #and its not like he doesnt have little outbursts sometimes - just like most characters would get angry when someone flings dirt at them #or his impatience when eda doesnt understand that he is talking about her curse - but i see it as frustration and impatience and not anger #and i agree that when he was a teenager he would have more teenager-y reactions #and the way he had to hide or redirect his emotions during the coven head time is something worth of exploring too #but i dont agree with the way certain parts of fandom flanderize his emotions into this constant outbursting fury #when it is clearly not even to explore his character but to flanderize him solely for the sake of other characters

[scorchedhearth]

i would love to know your thoughts on jason being suicidal and how he would (sorry i cant remember the right word for it) show/express(?) it.

i think it’s implied in canon, a read between the lines kinda situation that while not explicitly stated is really not a far-fetched thought. it shows in a lot of details, but the big one being the last showdown with bruce and the joker and how jason never even thought about making it out of there alive, either bruce kills the joker -and he knows that won’t happen, he just wants the explicit confirmation- or he blows up the building as a failsafe, meaning that he’s left dead at the end of this ordeal. it’s not so much actively seeking to end his life as much as being convinced there’s an expiration date on his life he won’t make past, and that whatever he does it doesn’t matter since he won’t live further than this fixed point in his mind. that comes in part by his death and being brought back, a/dying when that shouldn't have happened in the first place and b/being alive when he should be dead and buried, already messing with his perception of living and what that means to him and the implications of life only to fulfill a goal

that in turns sips into his fixed set of ideas and convictions and informs all of his choices: he doesn’t make plans long terms or past the showdown, he doesn’t seek out personal relationships or build a proper personal life, it’s only about the end goal (aka gotham and bruce) with no thought for himself as an individual (which is a great paradox imo, that everything he does is about himself and avenging his unpunished death but at the same time he entirely forgets himself in the process, both self-centered and void of the self). it’s jason throwing himself head first into perilous situations with a seeming lack of care for his safety, we see that in the lost days where he gets into dangerous situations all the time when he could keep his head down and just train, and in uth where he does risky things over and over that rest on a gamble made on his life or safety, like blowing up buildings while he’s near, fighting a mob boss openly and doing reckless acts that he pulls at the last minute (jumping in the room with onyx being the first thing that comes to mind, he could have found other ways to trick and kill those people that didn’t involve him getting into the thick of it)

i don’t think he explicitly acknowledges or admits this to himself, he thinks that’s just a byproduct of who he is now, what makes him stronger and better than before, not an issue that hinders him or harms him. he doesn’t think ‘yeah i do that because i have no regard if i live or die’ he just does it and ignores any thoughts that might lead to this reflection using the excuse of his greater goals that demands these actions. i think the main way his suicidal tendencies show is through disregard of safety for his person and lack of care for the future beyond clear goals (like taking gotham, going to mess with dick, moving on to controlling crime as a clear solution and an end for all, etc.). jason doesn’t plan for his personal life, he doesn’t connect with other people, and he doesn’t seem to have a real place he considers home, a space for himself to settle in like others in the batfam do (to keep it to gotham/characters in his circle). he doesn’t have friends and he cut all ties with the family on purpose, it’s a clear act of severing any ties he has with a normal, adjusted life to focus as his role as red hood that in turn fuels his already harmful behavior further. so when i write jason that’s what i try to keep in mind, lack of personal life/safety and planning beyond his imposed goals as well as repressing these feelings or thoughts, willingly blinding himself to keep up the behavior on purpose.

#i think jason is not stupid. If he wanted to he could see the patterns and do something about it. its just that he refuses to. #like he keeps retraumatizing himself with his death over and over he uses that harm to fuel himself #he keeps feeding into his suicidal thoughts and behaviors because he thinks that makes him stronger and better for his job as rh #asks #suicide tw #suicide talk tw #i have no idea how to tag this let me know if i need to add something else #this is from months ago hope the answer was worth the wait anon! #dc #jason todd