#i think it’s strange you never knew !!!!!!!

[shaunashoochiebae]

i wanna hold the hand inside you

i wanna take a breath that’s true

i look to you and i see nothing

i look to you to see the truth.

#mazzy star #fade into you #i’m kms #i’m miserable #SOMEONE PLS LOVE ME #okay cringe sorry #lesbian #wlw #i think it’s strange you never knew #cries #loudly #sobs #wanna nap #and this song is relaxing #but just ended up crying instead #pull the plug in september #i don’t wanna die in june #feel as if i’ve been stabbed in the chest #multiple times #but now muna is playing #what is going on

[asweetprologue]

i know probably nobody following me is even relatively in this fandom but I just finished s5 of the dragon prince and I gotta tell you. the canonical lovechild of the gay-coded villains was not something I saw coming

#OLD MAN YAOI MPREG REAL????????? #when he said OUR child I stg I have never been more shocked appalled and enthralled in my life #like it makes sense of course it was made from a joining of....... fluids......... #magic sex ritual tbh #and then to immediately divorce?? #I can't believe this shit #the dragon prince #tdp #viren #aaravos #viren x aaravos #viravos #they've always been strangely compelling in a deeply fucked up way but I didn't think the show knew that #they said we've given you 4.9 seasons of some of the best queer rep on tv #now get ready for the most toxic shit you can imagine

[hawnks]

My hair is curly but VERY dry so it can also be kind of inflexible and I have this one broken gray hair that’s just short enough to stick straight up like a pickmin

#today I stopped by my fave coffee shop in my home town and I haven’t been there in a few weeks becuase busy #and they got my order wrong so I was like oh hey I think I ordered a large #and the barista was like oh yeah. u usually get a large right. #and I was like 👁️👄👁️ #PLEASE DONT REMEMBER ME #I honestly hate being a ‘regular’ but I have a very memorable appearance I guess? #so I AM a regular after going to the same place like twice #trying to figure out if they remember me becuase I am so strange and beautiful or if it is because I am a little weirdo #someone from my highschool who I never even knew ran into me the other day and recognized me WITH A MASK ON #what is it about me…… #my rat aura #if you made it through these unhinged tags we are kissing so tenderly #squawk tag

[jeysuso]

Sami Zayn & Jey Uso - WWE Friday Night Smackdown 24th February 2023

#jey uso #sami zayn #wweedit #friday night smackdown #wwe smackdown #isn't this...... so gay #seriously. #ALSO i never heard michael cole bring attention to the look between them at the end in the replay #like i can't work out if that's a 'we're in cahoots' look and jey knew this was gonna happen the whole time #or if it's a 'i'm letting you leave' look because jey won't hurt sami #or 'if you come near me i'm gonna have to hurt you cause that's my blood' look #i can't FIGURE IT OUT #it's all so strange because you'd think jey would throw himself in that ring #as soon as sami laid hand on his brother #but he doesn't #he stops rushing AS SOON AS sami gets the upper hand #almost as if he was going to protect sami from jimmy instead...... 👀👀 #cause that sixth gif is jey LOOKING AT JIMMY. #he isn't looking at sami there he's looking at his brother #and he looks PISSED. #idk man. idk. #all i know is they're in love bye #mine*

[tigergendermoved]

I don't like DDLC'S MC very much on a very petty level but I still wish there was more fic or meta speculation about him. I'm not interested in him as a character, though, because he's barely a character. Literally by the game's standards, he has no inherent "character file." He is the SCRIPT, if anything. All of his thoughts and actions occur within the little text bubble at the bottom of the screen, and so do the characters'. He barely appears in CGs, has no body sprite, and it is through his observations and his thoughts and his call to make choices that the game progresses.

I think that specific trait of MC is fascinating, especially given how deep reaching Monika's manipulation is. During Act 1 he is active, he is talkative, he has a definitive (and yet inconsistent, based on which girl(s) you're speaking to) personality. He has thoughts about just about everything going on. And yet in Act 2 he is reduced to dust. He stops having any kind of commentary and he almost never remarks upon the horrible occurrences around him unless prompted or unless it is something that could plausibly happen in the realm of reality, like Yuri abandoning him for 10 minutes and Natsuki collapsing on him. But even then he's still significantly muted. Yuri and Natsuki have a horrible fight and the only kind of response he tries to throw out is co-opted by Monika. He witness Yuri declare her love for him and talk about how she would love to pull his skin open and crawl inside of him and the only thing he has to say is "yes" or "no" when she asks if he likes her back. And then he physically cannot move or speak or react because the world is so far gone that Yuri's death has damaged him, the script, so much that all he hears is gibberish coming from her lifeless mouth.

And like... that's neat to me. I like that by the end of Act 2 the script is so off the rails and so far gone from reality that MC can no longer really function as a person, because the script is barely functioning. He stops reacting to anything happening around him and most of the conversations he has are just the girls talking at him. Monika has to literally rewrite the script and force Yuri and Natsuki to say things to further her agenda or keep the scene rolling. MC had a clear and very human response to Sayori's death because it was a plausible but horrible (and not forced) event that could happen naturally. Yuri's death was so jarring and away from the scope of the natural order of his world that MC (and Yuri, by extension) can only sit frozen and broken until Natsuki and Monika show up to force new progress.

Like Monika's effect on the girls has been talked to death and it is an interesting topic but I also think what she unintentionally did to the POV character of the game is also something neat. It really adds to the feeling of the world in DDLC being hollow. The MC is a half-character who can only react in incredibly predictable ways, and when the world stops being predictable, he stops being anything more than a walking camera for Monika to speak into.

#ddlc #this isnt even really a character analysis this is just my vague jumbled thoughts on this guy #ive always found mc interesting even if he irritates me #when i was bored and a middle schooler i used to imagine this self insert of mine in his place #what choices would she make if she knew the ddlc world was a farce? what choices would she make if she didnt? #would she be beholden to the game structure and choices written in the game's script? #could she change anything? how would she feel if she knew the girls in a context where they were her normal friends? #these scenarios were of course some random shit i thought about to make PE less awful #but it made me think of how horrible and strange it would be in mc's position #and subsequently how mc himself kind of never gets the chance to BE in his own position in a way #he is fully beholden to the whims of monika and whatever the girls around him are doing at all times in act 2 #even in act 1 his personality and motivations fluctuates constantly depending on which girl u are talking to #mc is the script and the script is mc. he never had a chance to change anything and neither did you #the only way you can do anything in that world is to be a character a .chr a person. and mc is not a person in any meaningful sense #on the topic of 'hey wouldnt it be fucked up to actually experience ddlc as a Thinking Person' #'to your eternity' (anonymous author) on ao3 specifically chapter 1 of it is a cool fic based on that thought #anyways. i know mc mostly just shuts up because it would be lame if every time yuri's eyes bug out he's like 'jeepers creepers!!!' #but i think his dwindling presence makes him an interesting non-character ❤️ #doki doki literature club

[feralchaton]

#fade into you #mazzy star #i think it's strange you never knew #Spotify

[britneyshakespeare]

i have a very peculiar life where i've often, due to chronic illness and the resulting reclusive tendencies from said illness, just plain not associated with people of my own age on a regular basis for months or years at a time. but when i do go out, i'm, like, not an unattractive or socially unsuccessful person. well i'm not necessarily socially successful but i'm not unattractive. and i'll look back on like a certain period sometimes and realize that i had a lot of people trying to pursue me romantically, and i'm like "hey what happened to that? its been such a long while since anybody asked me out........."

"oh yeah i dont leave the house"

#at my work i am the kid between kids #i am DEFINITELY too young to be considered to strike up a workplace tryst with lol. at least relative to my coworkers #most of my coworkers are women anyway #im one of the only 20-somethings who works in the entire district too. #tales from diana #not necessarily to say that i desire to be asked out in fact im very uncomfortable w it naturally. as an aroace person #who only ever has the pleasure of letting people down. #when i was a teenager though (especially before i realized i was aroace) no one ever asked me out #i felt very undesirable/unnoticed bc of it. in retrospect ppl did find me cute they just didnt talk to me. #i was kind of unapproachable. if i want to be really cruel to my teenage self then i could call her a pariah. #whatever ppl thought of me... nobody talked to me. and i never talked. plain and simple #then i entered the young adult world and it felt like everywhere i went there would be some man i hardly knew #asking me out when he had just learned my name. very strange to me! #im like why should you do that? i realize it's bc these men want a girlfriend #& they see me & i seem pretty & nice enough. theyre just like 'she will do' #no i wont! lol #sometimes i think like 'have i changed? that hasnt happened in quite awhile' #yes that kind of thing has ceased to happen since ive ceased to hang out w new ppl. #in the past year especially ive made more deliberate attempts to extricate myself from various social spheres #and i dont see really anyone socially except for some friends ive had for years. #if one of them were to suddenly express romantic interest in me. well. boy would that shake things up! lol #they know me though. they know i dont love.

[taravangians-storming-balls]

Person who follows the book spoiler tag instead of blocking it when a book comes out like "I'm going to learn so many forbidden facts"

#story time when i was like 10 or whatever i started with the SECOND warrior cats series instead of the first #i think because thats what my library had in stock at the time #and i never really went back and read the first series i just kept reading forward #but i knew everything that happened in the first series through talking on forums and ssswarriorcats and stuff like that #and so it was like #i had this like own version of this story in my head that came from the bits that strangers online thought were worthy to talk about #and you build this strange alternate version of this media where all the main important plot points happen but the details are all wrong #the little things #anyway i eventually read the first series and it felt like reading a mythology #not cosmere i guess lmaoooooo #firemossposting

[timeisacephalopod]

I've kinda seen some pushback to the idea of representation in media and I don't necessarily think it's bad to point out actual rights are more important than Disney's thousandth first gay character that's fine, but I've had a LOT of people comment on my works about asexual characters and tell me what I wrote changed their life-and it's always that phrase- because they now have the language to describe what they feel. I've had people who ARENT ace or aro comment that what I wrote finally made a concept they didn't understand make sense, or that the way I explained things was interesting and enlightening and I'm kind of a mediocre writer who hasn't written anything in ages.

Like idk, if reading something from a writer who is fucking around and only somewhat talented can genuinely impact someone because they've not seen anything like them reflected back at them in life or media I don't think pushing for representation in media is as "needless" as some people seem to think and caring about that doesn't mean you don't care about more "important" (although if you think seeing people like you in media ISNT important it's because you already have that representation or are privileged enough to not care if you do, in which case maybe pipe down) stuff. Hell, I even got a Facebook message ages ago from someone who found a comment I left in an ace group about QPR's and what they meant to me and how I perceived them and the person no joke said what I wrote two years before they even found it changed their life forever because they finally knew what kind of relationship they actually wanted.

So like sure, of course there's always bigger fish to fry them diversity in media (you know, like diversity in real life lol) but I don't think it's as frivolous as some people are beginning to act like it is. At least not if you're an aspec person it's not, I STILL don't see ace characters almost ever and I'll bet my whole everything if I asked a writer of a show why they'd tell me that EVERYONE has to be in a sexual relationship and characters that aren't won't sell and are boring- I say this because in film school I had a teacher TELL ME every character needed to basically be sex obsessed and when I pointed out a GREAT MANY CHARACTERS are not revolved around sex (Supernatural stars two brothers, I pointed out) and when she asked if I had love interests I was like ??? That doesn't matter- using my aforementioned supernatural example almost all their love interests die or get mind wiped because at the end of the day that's not what the story was about. So actually I think writers who act like that teacher need like 50 reality checks, and representation in stories isn't unimportant and also support indie writers you'll probably find more funky shit there then Disney anyway lmao.

And also even the asexual characters I DO see in media don't remind me at all of myself even if I appreciate the effort, but they never feel real or genuine and their sexuality doesn't get a lot of exploration so 🤷🏻‍♀️ I actually could use more media focused on characters that I can genuinely see my sexuality reflected in in a meaningful and narratively impactful way because I've got nothing.

#winters ramblings #todd from bojack horseman im sure is SOMEONES version of asexuality but i dont see ANYTHING of myself in him #great character dont get me wrong but not relatable to me on any level including our shared sexuality #sex ed got a bit closer with their brief ace character although maybe she got more exploration in season three or four?? #the latest one i havent watched lmao. but being closer and having a moment wjere shes told shes not broken #while DEEPLY vindicating isnt necessarily all im looking for either #like i wamt a REAL character thats ace or aro or both thats written by people who UNDERSTAND what theyre writting #not just well meaning people who dont know what theyre doing its kind of tiring #also idk why theres no dating shows with gay men because reality dating shows are ALL ABOUT who fucks who and who gets together #gay men would be hooking up ALL OVER THE PLACE and the DRAMA youd think reality tv freaks would be SALIVATING #but no none of that lmao. just ru pauls drag race and thats great it is like its not my bag but people love it #back on yrack though the weord blowback representation is getting is strange and its VERY clear to me #the people writing those posts havent gotten dozens on dozens of messages from people like them who found their writing #and haf their life altered forever for the better because someone who KNOWS what theyre talking about wrote a character like them #and it opened doors they never knew existed. doesnt even need to happen with fiction either i had a friend i had in toronto #tell me the info i sent to her on being aromantic changed her life- THAT'S the phrase i keep getting thats TELLING- because it describefld #described** how shes felt her whole life but didnt have words for. how frivolous IS representation if im getting these messages? #not very i dont think if some rsndom indie fic writer who hadnt written anything substantial in years can change someones life #REPEATEDLY might i add. ive been getting a LOT of messages like this lately and seeing this new bramd of discourse latetly too #like maybe YALL have enough that you dont care anymore but speak for your fucking selves

[proto-language]

hrngnfghnfg

#just thinking aloud but #i dunno. kind of feel like the last Barrier between me and Normal Personness or whatever #is just. i feel so completely and utterly unable to feel empathy specifically with regards to children and childbearing and childrearing. #like. i have known ever since i was small that my parents lost other pregnancies before me and between me and my sister. and all i could #feel about that as a kid was 'thank god because i never wanted a sibling anyway' and 'uh well i never asked to be born soooo... so what' #and now as an adult. i know that it's a terrible thing to suffer a loss like that. #and i'd at least manage not to act inappropriately towards someone i knew if they were in that position. #but i still can't find any of the *feelings* about it. #which is strange because i usually feel Everything So Much. #i also still don't understand when people talk about like. instantly falling in love with their kid or whatever #like maybe i almost get it if it's a child you've gestated for nine months and then given birth to. #but i feel like people *must* be at least partially lying about it when it comes to things like adoption #because there'd be such a high psychological and social penalty to admitting that you felt anything less. #adoption in general drives me crazy like i cannot Believe that it's still just a really accepted alternative to having a biological child #when... any kid who has had to be removed from the circumstances into which they were born and given to new people #is surely going to be traumatised or have issues or however you want to put it. #and it can't possibly be the Same Thing as having a... fresh baby of your own. #anyway. i feel some sympathy for and plenty of logical understanding of children and parents. #but none of it makes sense to me on the level on which i usually connect with people. #and hell maybe everyone feels that way until they have a kid. in which case i think everyone #is wildly irresponsible for having those kids without knowing they're gonna like it or be good at it and hoping it'll just work out. lmao

[malikselfindulgence]

Guy who 1. asked me to date him despite the fact I'm trans and he's straight and I'm also aromantic 2. told me my prescribed anxiety medication was a trick by Big Pharma 3. told me my therapist only tried to get me evaluated for autism as the "easy way out" of actually helping me just texted me AGAIN apologising for "NOT HELPING ME OVERCOME MY AUTISM LIKE HE PROMISED HE WOULD" . WHAT ????

#malik's rambles #we will literally never overcome ableism I fear #all this I told him because he asked .btw . he knew me for like 3 weeks and was like I have a crush on you #AUGFXUYXYXG #im so normal and mature and i wont cuss him out . my beautiful son block button #icant like jesus . THE WAY he omfg #“you are obviously not mentally sound. anyone with a mother like yours is bound to be.” U KNEW ME 3 WEEKS TOPS . ALL I SAID WAS IM AUTISTIC #YOUASKED ME WHAT MEDS IM TAKING AND I TOLD YOU . HUH ? huh??? #alsoTHE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME AND MY MOTHER?????????????? #did not think the “men want a girl w mommy issues” jokes were true jesus CHRIST #andthe complete dismissal of me being trans . i am Normal . hope this guy collapses actually #the even worse dismissal of me being aromantic . augh #haha why are you so weird why r u doing that #oh well im autistic :] thats why I may be acting a bit strange to u #nooo ur like so normal tho? like ur so normal . like normal #AUGH #ok enough yapping #should renameit to malik's yapping

[fertilizing-daffodils]

Time is such a weird thing now. I feel like I'm stuck though I know I'm steadily moving forward in just about every aspect of life but every time I stop and look around I'm just confused by what I see.

#personal #it makes me feel a little crazy #im desperate for change even tho it terrifies me #considering how much has changed already you'd think id be used to it #yet here i am still missing you #and i do #achingly so #last week was the first time my wife acknowledged out loud how i felt about you - called it love #it was in therapy and was said so nonchalantly and even to reassure and support me and my feelings #but its still so strange to hear when my loving you sparked so much turmoil #well not my loving you just our actions from that love but still #I understand it and myself so much better now #I thought I knew my heart but if anything the past few months have reminded me how little I do actually know #I'm infinitely lucky to have a partner that will stick by me and keep loving me while I figure it out #I hope someday you'll have the same the support and love and understanding #it didnt come easy or overnight but that understanding is something I would never trade #and selfishly.... if we all can take responsibility for the truth and face it then maybe I can have you in my life again... #but this time better and with a deeper respect for each other and our boundaries

[tigirl-and-co]

I actually greatly enjoy being a weirdo. A fucking freak.

#titi talks #people who don't think you can reclaim words were never the outcast for their entire childhood #by fucking. 7th grade i knew i was never gonna be part of the group #so i took up the mantle of being affably strange #and now there are people who love me! they like the things i have to say #even though the things i have to say are batshit #fucking. idk where im going with this. good night i guess

[scolopendragonfish]

Why good morning, dear! I hope the day is finding you well. I wanted to see if you'd be interested in sharing a bit of dark-matter devil's food cake with me as a late-day snack while we look off into the horizon from my floor in the Tower. Would you be interested?

Oh!!!! Yes, of course my love!

You bring such sweetness into my life, in more ways than one. You are a marvelous chef and baker in your own right, you know. And very welcome company.

#caligoascendant #It's strange. Knowing that since becoming as I am I never knew a day that I wasn't hungry until you came into my life. #I don't think I'm ever full exactly. But...satiated at least. It's a good feeling.

[deus-ex-mona]

i think that about covers the ✨entire population✨

#this started off as a complaint about inconsiderate commuters and my strange coworkers… and somehow ended with my grandparents lmao #idk why but my coworkers seem to really like physical contact for some reason?? i’m not used to it at all man… #like there could be a ton of space behind me but this coworker would walk directly up behind me and pat my back or something? lady pls #or i could be looking at my results and my other coworker would just randomly hug me and i??? lady pls???? i’m so confused #and the thing is… i really really hate being touched by any other person (except my mother. she’s fine) so i’m just (ʘ‿ʘ) throughout it all #and speaking of physical contact… those commuters. man. ಠ‿ಠ #who brings their prams out at like 7.25am anyway? it’s early as balls and the kid’s still asleep 80% of the time anyway #pls take your kids out on a family trip later in the day… yk… when people aren’t trying to squeeze onto the train to get to work??? #and they almost always choose to stand right smack in the middle of the train… right in front of the door to boot. at least move in???? #and sometimes (the worst times) the kids are obviously old enough to walk around (and are in fact running around the train at that moment)… #…but the parent keeps the pram unfolded in all its oversized glory anyway. like whyyyyyyyyy #so now not only do commuters have to squeeze together because of a lack of space… #…they now have to shuffle around to avoid bumping into the kid. like ughhhhhhhhhhhh i hate trains sm #and also! those people who purposely stand on the side of the escalator that people walk up on and refuse to walk???? hate them too #i’ve missed so many trains because of them ಠ‿ಠ especially if they stop moving right at the end of the escalator (ʘ‿ʘ) #screw trains fr >:( buses are much better!! the air conditioning is better on buses too!!!!!! #life was much better in quarantine ngl. i could shut myself out from the outside world and just ✨thrive✨ in peace… #those overly-specific things in the dni list are all based on my family members and former acquaintances lmao #shoutout to my chopper-wielding border hopping grandpa and self-hammering grandma!!! i barely knew you guys!!!! #wait come to think of it… i have never really had a single conversation with any of my grandparents. whoops. #i don’t even know their names either… double whooooooops #and so that marks the end of my pointless rant for now. i could’ve just summed this up as ‘dni if you’re human’ tbh #i’ve even done like quite a few of these things on my own list do… dni: me??? (ʘ‿ʘ) if only that was possible aha… #…well i didn’t cry while watching dear layla. lol. that’s the one thing i can definitively say i didn’t and will never do— #inedible blubbering #sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂

[direwombat]

Hmmm...what if I also gave augustine prophetic recurring dreams of the end of the world (much like his sister) but they only come to him in complete abstractions (unlike his sister) that have him waking up in the middle of the night screaming in terror and covered in sweat

#of course joseph is the only one who can help him interpret these dreams #i just think that augustine should be joseph's special little boy 😌 #and no. of course syb never told augustine about her strangely prophetic dreams she keeps that little thing to herself #mostly because she doesnt want to confront the fact that she knew her dad was gonna kill her mom long before it happened #or how she knew that katrina was gonna hit. or that she had recurring nightmares about her nde in afghanistan #or how she too saw the destruction that would come to hope county #no she kept that to herself :) #syb having communication issues? even with the people she’s allegedly very close to? its more likely than you think #just little things that weaken those fraying threads between her and her brother that only push him further towards joseph :)))) #anyway the point is that augustine is just SO susceptible to cult tactics poor guy :'( #oc: augustine la roux