#i think it has to do with perfectionism

[lesbiangiratina]

Hi do you like images. I love images. Heres a little over 100 guilty gear trading cards from the early 2000s. Every character up to xx is accounted for… some more than others. For now. But the average is probably 4 or 5 cards per character. Nearly all of the art is original. Okay have fun :)

#i hope anyone thinks this is as neat as i do. #oh yeah! also scanned the booklet. a little messy but its fine. so theoretically you could learn how to play. if you can read japanese #i tried not to let my perfectionism consume me too much with this. but know if anything looks off hmm 90% chance its the card's fault. #some arent in the best condition and the printing isnt the best to begin with on some of em. but i tried to pick out the best when i could #theres only 1 zappa​ and robo-ky. very sorry. #complete coincidence that testament has the most cards… well tied with dizzy. and they arent even on 2 of them so dizzy wins actually. #ill probably keep lookin for more cards but i should ummm. pace myself. smile. #the kat goes meow #guilty gear #gg #show up in the main tag... please

[sweetest-honeybee]

was cleaning my fridge when I randomly thought "a clean home is a happy home" and now I'm thinkin how infuriated Home would be if he gets dirty or to add even more fuel to the already blazing fire, how much of a clean freak Grey Au!Wally would be to keep Home happy

Ohh! A clean home is definitely a happy home! I’m seeing this more like Home being such a clean freak haha!

#it does go along with his insanely accurate observance and perfectionism #not to much like OCD I don’t think but he does seem the time to get irrationally upset when things are not A Certain Way #bc of course ocd isn’t just Cleanliness™️ I have 3 family members with ocd and it presents in interesting ways #BUT my point being that Home just seems the type. for sure tho he’s a huge perfectionist- but I can see some things causing him like #some sort of paranoia #such as the neighbors doing something Out of the Ordinary™️ and causing a downward spiral of events caused by home #ha! who knows #such is not an excuse for his weirdly manipulative behavior of course if I were to apply it to the greyscale au #I’m rambling my bad #ANYWHO Tangent aside I do love the idea of Home being a clean freak! goes with his rather fancy Aesthetic

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[astromechs]

figuring out i have published nearly 60,000 words of rebelcaptain fic to ao3 in the past year, and that's just the stuff i've published

#definitely thousands of words more lurking in unfinished drafts lmao #like this is... a lot for me #i think my rebelcaptain renaissance happened after the time i needed to truly grow as a writer and become more creatively free #to do what i always wanted to do with them but felt like i didn't have the ability to back in. like. 2017 #because back then i was always so terrified about characterization that i never really accomplished much in general and specifically w them #and it's the point now where i can be so free as to feel like i've truly taken these characters as my OCs #not in the sense of being weirdly possessive over them and saying no one else gets to write them ever or anything stupid like that #but like. taking ownership over my own takes on them. and thus allowing them to live and breathe and yea live rent free in my head #that's what i mean by that #anyway: positive reflections on myself and my journey to overcome my ridiculous perfectionism! #being mentally ill about my blorbo ship has helped that so much LMFAO

[possamble]

Question to a fanfic writer: do you think that, in Marcille’s research ways *And* her love for romance novels… would result in her writing some in-universe fanfics of her own? Like, maybe she hypes herself up on something and get disappointed, or maybe she finds some character decision isn’t as ideal as she thinks it could be? Or it’s as simple as she wants to play around with the characters and see what happens?

I can’t help but imagine a scenario where she’s struggling with some romantic trouble irl and she’s struggling with deciding on what to do, but then the answer slaps itself upside her head when she rediscovers her fanfics and how she LITERALLY made a character or two do the exact romantic decision she needs to do? It would so silly but yet I can’t help but find it so charming. Hell, just the imagery of her writing romance fanfics of her own At All is just… delightful to me hehehe.

you know I've been rotating this in my head since I saw it this morning and. I went through a wild journey of opinions before I realized... Marcille wouldn't think about fanfiction like we think about it. In the modern age, yeah, she'd be a complete tumblrina -- but we're talking about a 17th century-ish fantasy setting.

Writing before the digital age was a physical commitment to investing ink and paper into your thoughts -- and this is even before mass production can make pens and notebooks kind of whatever to buy and use on a regular basis. I'm sure the situation wasn't dire, but I really can't see Marcille, perfect honor student, using her allotted supply of stationery at the academy on super frivolous things.

Fanfiction has been normalized incredibly fast in the past few decades. Think about now normal and popular D&D is nowadays compared to how much people looked down on it 20-30 years ago. Fanfiction was a freakass nerd thing to do until relatively recent history, something that was even considered offensive to the original creators.

Remember, we've already seen Marcille react to adaptations with disgust. She's kind of a hater and an elitist fan. She also considers herself a Reputable Academic. In a setting where a digitized culture hasn't reframed fanfiction as an act of appreciation and creativity, she would absoluuuuuuuutely think that fanfiction was complete loser shit.

If she did write anything about her favourite books... She'd. She'd be one of those assholes who writes huge scathing reviews of Dal Clan translations into Common. She'd be the fantasy equivalent of those Weebs/Japanese elitists on twitter tearing through every single localization choice in anime and JRPGs and being so so annoying about it.

If we're being charitable, we could say she'd be able to appreciate non-faithful translation choices that still do a good job of carrying over the original spirit of what was said. But I think we also have to acknowledge the possibility that, at her worst, she'd really really be like those guys who were malding about the Unicorn Overlord localizations so hard the (correction: Final Fantasy Tactics Creator, not the Unicorn Overlord devs) had to step forward and ratio them. (The silver lining is that she'd never get published in the arts review newspapers/journals that she submits her essays to. those poor editors just have to deal with her being persistent.)

#asks #marcille donato #dungeon meshi #im so sorry anon your idea was very cute and i know i wasn't supposed to take this so seriously but #god. the revelation hit me and i just cried laughing #she's so horrendous. i love her so fucking much. #i really do think the only setting she'd be able to write fanfiction is in modern aus #bc then she can just delete stuff she doesn't like and lose nothing but the time it took to write it #the problem is that she has the kind of perfectionism that stops her from doing things unless she can do them competently the first time #(gifted child syndrome) #but writing fiction is a skill. one that she would have to hone from zero. while not necessarily having natural talent for it. #her reading standards would be so much higher than her writing ability and she'd haaaaate that #... that said #i can see her absentmindedly dabbling in short form poetry in the margins of her journal #i think that's small enough of a scale that she'd accidentally do it a lot without thinking about it too hard #until she was actually half-decent at it one day #like... starting some years into the post-canon. this is crucial. she needs to chill a bit before this could happen

[writeouswriter]

Me: *Has written plenty of great opening scenes that I'm actually quite fond of*

Also me when trying to write a new opening scene for a new project: I have never written an opening scene in my life, what's an opening scene any more, has there ever truly been an opening scene to anything, there is no beginning, so there is no end, there is no one out there watching over this monstrosity, I am in the void, my mind is adrift, how do I open this scene without a key, where did I leave my keys??

#writeblr #writing #writer things #relatable #text post #i am struggling to write the opening to this one possible project i'm still lying to myself over the idea of working on it for nano #i don't really know where i want this guy to be when we're introduced to him #at first i was thinking mid heist gone wrong or something but it doesn't quite click and would require extraneous characters #then i was thinking retired from doing heists just going about his day when dragged back in but iffy on that as well #cuz how much of the character and vibe does it really show i want a good and not necessarily memorable but semi impactful 1st impression #i don't really know and i'm a very has to write in chronological order writer when doing these things #i mean in theory i can write random out of context scenes but in practice they're never getting put back into context if i do that #they're doomed to float forever until i find out how to chronologically do the rest so anyway #yeah need an opening if I want to make some writing dent at all but also feel like the pressure of perfectionism #which is hard to tamp down no matter how hard one tries so perfect opening when come on daydreams step up

[bunibelles]

Currently making a tres leches cake (at 3 am) and I think I messed up the sponge :’D Like this milk is not absorbing that well. Putting it in the fridge I hope tmrw it’ll look alright 🫶🏼

#and if it doesn’t I’ll have to find a way to make it better before bringing it to class #ahhh and it’s my turn to lecture too #anyway #short stories today #I worked with kindergarteners! that was fun #they’re so cute <3 #and if u do any small amount of art they’ll be like omg ur so good lol #which i think is funny #they’re so creative too #like I worked with 4th graders before and ngl they kinda took longer because they’re so focused on perfectionism #these kindergartners just did the activity as soon as I handed them the chalk! #anyway I’m just glad they like doing art for the sake of doing it :> #also idk why they scheduled me to do Tuesdays when my baking class/obligations are Tuesday + Wednesdays :’D #oh well #hence the baking at 3 am thing lol #technically I started at 11 pm #but anyway! #wishing the best for this cake otherwise tmrw me has to do sm fixing 🫶🏼 #Bella rambles

[torchstelechos]

Im only on season 1, so pardon me if this has been explained or at least acknowledged, but why the fuck are the brothers still in school? Its been on my mind for ages now because they’re how old? Literal eons? Okay, how long does it take to graduate from education? 20ish years? Okay cool, how the fuck are they still in the education system. Are they dumb? Are they teachers? Are they there to relearn information as technology and science has evolved over the years?? What the fuck are they doing??

#Obey me #OM #obey me one master to rule them all #For real tho my hc is that their respective sin got in the way of their education and even tho they are smart they just didnt do the work #which is why Lucifer has been cracking down on them recently to actually do the work #Like Lucifer is pride which probably translates to perfectionism and we all know how that can fuck up your school work #Mammon my dear sweetheart is dumber than a bag of rocks if money aint involved so yaknow we have canon reason there #Levi is Levi and he probably gets jealous over othre peoples grades/scores which translate to him staying home depressed #Satan rage quite HW he hates lets be honest here #Asmo is too busy actually being social and sleeping to do his work #Beel probably skips classes to eat food #and Belphie actually is a professor I think???? At least hes working on a thesis statment on a relativly new field #so he gets a pass on this question #Again only on season 1 so ignore me if this is explained later

[softerpixels]

my problem is that i always plan gameplay that's waaaay too big for my britches

#.txt #it takes me like a full day to make a singular sim #bc adhd and perfectionism #but inspiration has me thinking i can do it all #i rlly want a living single inspired gameplay #but i still need to make a few sims for it #but like stylisically i have it in a very 90's theme #and it's hard to make that translate to a whole save #so maybe it'll be less gameplay #and more fluid screenshot based story #bc i can't make every single sim in the game over #i could however (maybe) set it up in a blank save #hmmmmmm

[the-average-procrastinator]

Went from "oh, I need to make a fun little dress since I got invited to a renaissance faire this summer" to "I need to make a busk or the corset will be a joke" real quick

#my family has issues #with perfectionism and accuracy #and we jump into projects headfirst without thinking #have i ever made a corset before?? no absolutely not #am i going to try bc HISTORICAL ACCURACY AND GARMENT SHAPE?? #yes #i am #i already tried to do a quick lazy mock up for the chemise

[bredforloyalty]

I HATE THIS WHOLE AREA OF RESEARCH lord if you plan on killing me sometime soon i would appreciate it immensely if you would just hurry up

#i don't want to hear about depression or coping mechanisms or perfectionism or lifestyles and personal priorities i don't want to #think about any of this i want to curl up on the bed and sob until i feel dizzy #genuinely I don't even hate it i just can't deal. i should've done something else that has absolutely nothing to do with me #oh well maybe if i fail i can repeat this semester. or just give up. move to siberia. or to the countryside #kata.txt

[faith--in-the-future]

I have a lot of thoughts on why louis doesn't do certain things but they're all tangled in my head

#fundamentally i think he has been burnt by the press and the gp so many times and for so many things and for so long #that he developed a lot of fears and this perfectionism and a deep need to feel safe from criticism #which as he himself said kind of held him back while making walls #and enclosed himself in a lot of restrictions bc he thought he had to do music in a certain way in order to appear credible #and i do think walls and the tour really did a lot to heal that trauma #and thats why he said he feels like he can experiment a bit more with fitf #and im sure by the time lt3 comes out he'll say the same thing about fitf #now he just needs to take that newfound confidence and use it to be a little bit more risky in the other parts of the job as well #being a louie teaches you a lot about trauma and its ramifications and recovery #anyways im proud of him and seeing some of the wounds finally close after years was wonderful

[koiryuu]

ships like drakey and mitsukkai are so extremely important to me in the context of mikey and hakkai being high support needs autistic, like draken and mitsuya as caretakers is something that can be so real and so special.

#mikey is p obvious but i realize hakkai is more a hc #i just think (aside from his dependant emotional attachment to mitsuya in particular) hakkai is the type of person that cant live alone #i think he can do things like cook and clean and take care of himself (and he makes a lot of money as a model in bonten future) #but trauma from taiju's high standards and abuse has turned a lot of household tasks into anxiety spirals #i think he has a terrible combination of clumsiness and perfectionism #hes also autistic #and he cant drive lol #this post is made/endorsed by a high support autistic btw its cool as hell that these characters are like this #tokyo revengers

[classical-vanity]

One thing I find really aggravating about myself is that I never finish things

#i just start stuff and then never finish them #hobbies mostly I suppose #like I started a book back in 2020 and I had under 100 pages left #I did finish it this year #took me 3 years to actually finish it #it’s actually one of my all time favorite books too #I have a paint by numbers started and I keep thinking on starting a new one #rather than finishing this one I have which is like 80% done #and it’s more than just small things like this #wanted to learn Italian and I started a notebook with notes and stuff #haven’t opened it or made any progress in ages #I guess it’s my lack of discipline and dysfunctional perfectionism #anyway #gonna stop rambling now #this has just been bothering me lately #and I should really do something about it because it’s no one’s fault but my own #it’s just so hard but i don’t think it’s good long term to just stay like this #I don’t like it #tbd later

[soldier-poet-king]

I have an hour left of work I have never wanted to go home SO BAD

#today has just been. agonizingly boring slow #im doing description work that's why #and also i hate arranging when i dont have control and have to fit it into the way someone else has already done it #BC THEY DO IT WRONG #yes yes archival arrangement and description are subjective and theres no correct way #but like. if i do it in a way that makes sense to me and my boss thinks i should've done it a different way #then there will be a wrong way #realistically she will not even double check anything i do and i can do whatever i want #but the FEAR wnd ANXIETY #i have to get a good grade in my job. smthn that is both possible to achieve and normal to want #part of it is anxious perfectionism. part of it is professional pride. part of it is guilt if i dont do my job properly or /the best/

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?

Because I sure do. I can’t do that.

Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.

#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….” #I’m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL #I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid… #but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old #Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after #I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point #(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT #but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound #like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction) #I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular… #because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake #(to me) #sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize #it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word #— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people #act like they’re better than everyone else) #And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing #but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism #Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way #and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal. #This isn’t how I talk.” #But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication. #I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests #rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together #But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking #especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded #I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good #but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak) #even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere #It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end