#i think i’m going to kill myself

[aromanticmara]

i just dropped my earring front down the sink after i just bought the replacement for the other earring….

#i think i’m going to kill myself #I WAS PUTTING IN THE NEW ONE AND I DROPPED THE FRONT TO THE OTHER ONE DOWN THE FUCKING DRAIN #ugh and i had a rough car ride home w applications and car sickness #WHATEVER #meg talks

[meep-morp-p]

Having BPD is having Don’t Try Suicide playing in one ear and I Think I’m Going to Kill Myself in the other

#someone pls make this #Don’t Try Suicide #Queen #I Think I’m Going to Kill Myself #Elton John #BPD #borderline personality disorder

[vaquer0s]

Sooooo I’m being kicked out and I have no move out money 👍 cool cool

#miau.txt #I think I’m going to kill myself

[ttinachvz]

have a song that describes how you feel, i’ll start

#i’m literally going to #elton john #i think i’m going to kill myself

[brother-emperors]

CAIUS TREBONIUS AND MARK ANTONY, MARCH 15th

The Hetairia of Cassius, Luciano Canfora

Cic. Phil. 2

(taps mic) so as we all know, conspiracy is a kind of seduction, and actions not taken can be just as loud as the ones that are. so. uh. fellas! hey fellas. heyyyyyy.

like, I was looking at the Dolabella-Caesar-Antony mess yesterday, but something really fun and vicious happened here and I will be rotating it around in my head at maximum volume for the foreseeable future

the red panels are the Assassination of Julius Caesar by Vincenzo Camuccini (the pen and ink drawing, not the painting)

#gaius trebonius #like the last three times ive posted him. his look will probably change. but i have never once promised consistency on this blog #what's a consistent character design. you only achieve that when you get main character status in a comic #mark antony #drawing tag #komiks tag #roman republic tag #ides of march baby! #new tag for ides of march art. i'll retag everything later #also I’m going to kill dolabella myself. I love him. I want his head on cassius’ sword. #all these people are so MESSY good grief #also! two conspiracies: one from Cassius one from Trebonius. also sexy. much to think about #anyway test run for an idea. we will be revisiting this scene again #I have a better idea about how to do the red panels. what I don’t have is (checks notes) the patience mostly #I want to draw trebonius’ lip scar origin story #anyway they definitely got drunk and made out in a spectacularly sloppy kind of way at least once #beware! the ides of march!

[wispscribbles]

When I finish my ghoap Christmas oneshot that I started way back in start December, and have been struggling with since, then it’s over for you fools 🎅

#maybe it will be done by next Christmas lol #god no I’m scared of jinxing it #it’s not even THAT long I’ve just constantly had to step away from it and start over #and I don’t even think it’s good 😭 but I want it done #and there are bits I like that I want to share so I need to finish this bitch #y’all better be ready to find some leftover Christmas cheer when I post it #we will pretend that it isn’t several months late 😀 #they kill Santa and it’s funny and I don’t want to leave that forever in my wips #correction: they kill someone dressed as Santa but they take it very seriously #it has very much the same vibe as ‘Clue’ did and ppl enjoyed that one a lot #so I hope I’m just overly critical of myself and that this fic is actually alright #how did I write clue in one night????? where did that superpower go???? #might share some snippets at some point idk #wispy update

[swordmaid]

something soo ambiguous disorder gif about the whole ‘in the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining’. brienne wanting to be remembered in a song, an idealised version of her instead of her actual persons. joining renly’s cause and willing to die for him because it is better to be remembered about about what you have done than to be known for who you really are. fear of being known and all that. …

#acok brienne I will go to war for you. #you know I was just thinking about this bc I’m thinking of my oc and her endgame and that quote came to mind #as it does. I think there’s a special neural pathway in my brain that automatically makes me think of brienne #also being remembered for what you have done = kingslayer #than to be known for who you really are = 15 year old having to kill the king ur sworn to to protect the city #then the jb bath where they’re forced to expose their true self (also literally) to each other and they can’t hide behind anything … #knowing the true self …. excuse me? I’ll be throwing myself to the sea now.

[dumb-doll-lips]

what would happen if you told her you were saving money for a nice trip and could she contribute money towards that?

(she doesn’t have to know it is to go visit your Daddy)

Super appreciate you trying to help✨.

I don’t think that would go well. There’d be immediate questions of where I want to go, and no one would believe I’d want to go on trip by myself, and I don’t have anybody I can use as like a mom friendly cover story. But like I kinda don’t thing it’d get that far bc she’d be quick to be inviting herself. She brings up travel and going on trips a lot. She’s already heard a lot of me saying I haven’t been interested in traveling for a while (which is a little true but mostly I don’t want to go on more trips w her, it never goes well). It has felt to me that if share I want to go somewhere she’d want to plan the trip to come, and bring the whole family if she could. There’d just be a lot of questions and even if I could convince her I just want to do it alone, I feel like that would either get her like pre-worrying I’m going to die so then like all the questions (and prolly her sounding like she’d cry if I went on a trip and didn’t like immediately reply to her) or her making me feel like a shit person for not wanting to go w her (def feel like I’d get put on the spot to have to explain why I’d want to go alone).

I think my leading idea is to ask for some expensive curling iron (or set but I’ll need to specifically pick it out or she’d think anything id consider to be an improvement on what I have to be too pricey for what it is). If it’s an expensive she’ll hit the gift cap amount she has in her mind sooner and I won’t be asked to come up with as much.

#this specific kind of thing has been on my mind a lot bc i sooo want it to be easier on my end to go see my daddy #having a good lie is the only way i can think of that has any potential of going well #there’s like her seeming to feel too uncomfortable or too nosey to give anyone privacy around things #and this like believe that everyone is kinda useless and can’t do anything #which comes to her being overly controlling when she can or excessively worrying when she can’t #and making the worrying my problem to #I mentioned to her that I’m dating some bc I thought it’d be better than her worrying I’m just sitting in my apartment alone and depressed #which she very much thought and would be telling me she’s worried about me #but mentioning dating has been even worse #I think it’d just add to her thinking I’d get myself killed #well this just turned into venting in the tags #ask

[steevejr]

my totally realistic predictions for the way of kings engame:

1. Wikim and Renarin get arranged married (they’re both creepy and weird and scare off the hoes. Also sudoku enthusiasts) so Shallan can go fuck off and be transgender elsewhere while accomplishing her task of securing her house to the kholin house

2. Adolin and Kaladin yaoi break for the next 10 years until Kaladin either kills himself (accidentally) or dies saving Dalinar (intentionally). Adolin learns to dual wield shardblades and it’s really sexy. Maybe he dabbles in gender by learning how to read.

3. Shallan fucks off and goes to be transgender elsewhere (not out of hate I just think she would really enjoy fucking off forever or at least until she got bored). Pattern is there. Also gaz.

4. Rock finally goes back to the peaks to see his wife and kids (rest of bridge 4 goes with him except moash (moash and elhokar are holding hands skipping around because they’re besties again))

5. Jasnah king emperor of roshar everyone please pay your respects to the new queen of everything forever 🙏🙏🙏🙏

see you all in 20 years when the final novel comes out and I’ll be right about everything.

#no predictions for Dalinar because I’m sure book 3 will go super well for him and I’ve yet to read it #I imagine when Renarin meets wikim in book3 he’s like ‘ah. I see. well I guess marrying this rando is better than killing myself. also #Shallan congrats on your future transition’ and she’s like Huh? Transition into what? and Renarin gives the camera a knowing look #I genuinely do think Kaladin is gonna die saving someone book 8/9. there’s no way he’s living to 40 with his lifestyle. #a day in the life of steeve #way of kings #stormlight archive

[xyztrio721]

Hey everyone

It’s like 5 A.M as of me writing this, and I’m just… so tired.

I know I haven’t posted in a while. I just don’t know what to do with this blog, but that’s not important right now.

What is important is this: after the whole situation with Chuggaccnory over the past few days… I need help. Serious help.

I can’t handle being betrayed like this. I’ve been a fan of Chugga since 2018, but a few years before that, I enjoyed his content until I was like… 10 or so. I got back into TheRunawayGuys and his content as a whole when I was 16, and I’ve been a fan ever since.

Well, if you know what he’s been accused of over the past few days… yeah.

My childhood. My teenagehood. My adulthood. All three of these have been ruined by this drama and the allegations.

I just… I need help. And yes, I’m being serious.

Who do I turn to now? How am I supposed to cope with all of this? How do I stop myself from wanting to commit suicide?

I think I need to contact a crisis helpline, this is just too much for me to handle…

I doubt anyone will see this or care, but if you do… I hope you will be able to provide some help. I desperately need it.

#tw// suicide mention #chuggaaconroy #this fucking sucks man #I wanted to believe Emile when he said he was going to change and be better but I don’t think he will #I’m tired of crying over this. I’m tired of feeling guilty. #I just… want all of this to be over. But I’m worried that I’ll accomplish that by killing myself. #And I don’t want to do that. #If you are reading this… don’t feel pressured to help. I’m not demanding for assistance with coping with this. #But… I hope you can help. I’m really scared that this will be the end of my life.

[clarabowmp3]

like I’ve been generally fine in my teenage years (no more unhappier than from the average dose of teen angst) but man do I miss the excitement I’d get from those fantasy Geronimo Stilton books

#like my worldview on life was so different then #Obv it was Pri school so it was more chill (I was arguably too chill and messed up my psle) #But you know what I’m actually so fine w that! I’m happy that at least in some point in my life studies weren’t hanging over my head #Like a guillotine #And I would find so much joy in the little things like hell yeah new book!!! #because a part of me feels like I’m never going to feel that undiluted childlike joy ever again #And I’ve killed myself so much on every exam since #baby me deserved to have a little happiness in her life #I still think 12 is way too young for the first major board exam #Esp one so heavily surrounded by stigmas/reputation/prestige of the school you get into #like you’re setting a child up for the rest of their life and they’re not even a teen yet #thankfully it’s gotten a lot better (in terms of tangible change in sg societys mindset) #but god was it brutal for me in 2018/2019 #anyways trip down memory lane over heheh

[thevirgincherry]

have been ill since i was a kid it is not going to get better or pass likeeee sick of people telling me otherwise

#🏩.diary #I’ve always been this way #like there is no fixing it it’s not even like #idk my mental illness isn’t even something i can use as an excuse it’s just me now like idk #my friends are insufferable they don’t get it that #it’s not the fucking same like im so upset why do they always make things ab themselves #im the one that has no other friends no job no love life im failing uni with no social life like no you don’t get it #and they’re always like oh i wish I wasn’t known on campus like you talking to people is so draining I hate it #I hate it so bad i need to kill myself #I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 like that’s it’s not gonna change #and then they wonder why I don’t wanna talk like sorry im too suicidal to hear ab you having multiple jobs and boyfriends and driving sorry #like im too bitter #why don’t you just do this I CANT!!! im ugly and repulsive and can’t go outside #I’ve been made fun of for my weight and face by family n school friends like why would k want to go outside when it’s not even. me that #thinks I’m repulsive but everyone around me too #my parents don’t ever call me pretty unless I have makeup on they’re repulsed by me I know they love me bc they have to love me but im such #a loser there’s nothing to be Proud of #I don’t know what to do at all it’s like I’ve fucked it over so badly I can’t fix a single thing #it’s like I have everything wrong w me and it’s humiliating #tw vent #sorry im worked up godddd #I hate when people talk me like it’s my first time feeling this way and that it’s easy to get over #just try getting ur license or doing this I psychically cannot bc I’m crippled by anxiety and facial and body dysmoprhia like fuck off #whatever whatever im too pussy to kill myself so I’ll just live in this fucking cycle forever and ever like bc im literally a fucking . #pussy what’s wrong w me #in other news my sisters separation anxiety is back and she won’t let go of me I can’t go to the bathroom without her coming she’s sleeping #in my bed again #she’s so clingy I love her but I can’t do anything

[justbreakonme]

Does anyone have any job recommendations that make them not absolutely miserable?

#because I think I might have gotten myself fired #I cannot be in sales anymore it’s going to kill me #I like people and don’t mind calling people and stuff #but I swear to god I cannot take another sales or cold calling job #I hate it and so do the people I’m calling and it’s just terrible for everyone #I love the company and I think the actual service is great but the sales process is so outdated #not whump #job hunting #job recommendations

[fishandshesmygills]

it’s getting bad again (thinking about gatsby’s funeral)

#did numbers for preventating me from killing myself #because like. i don’t think other people see me as a real person #i’m a concept. i’m entertaining. i’m the acquaintance you go to for a favor #most people don’t love me for the real me #despite my compulsive oversharing i don’t think that many people know the real me #everyone loves the idea of me #but who’s there at the end

[chipjrwibignaturals]

diversity loss! local autistic forced to deal with plans being suddenly changed

#I am going. to kill someone #like I get the cause of this was something out of anyone’s hands. it’s not my sisters fault things changed. #but we went from ‘I’ll come down Monday + Tuesday to help you move then drive to the lake for the rest of the week’ #to ‘actually we’re moving tomorrow can you make it a day trip and then leave Saturday for the lake w everyone else’ #and like. sure. arguably this is a ‘better’ set up but. I fucking HATE change like this #especially bc it’s so late like. okay then guess I’ll fuck myself. #I need to go unpack all my shit (bc I was being GOOD and doing shit EARLY for once!) and repack for the new plans #and like. fucking emotionally prepare for this new change bc I wasn’t THINKING this was gonna happen. im not READY yknow? #idk. fucking. slams autistic diagnostic ‘inflexible adherence to routines’ #my ROUTINE has been CHANGED (on top of ALREADY being disturbed by this whole trip) and it’s causing DISTRESS #< like. dw I’m fine i just need to be a bitch about it for a bit