#i think i would like my life more if my job was fulfiling cause its basically all i have

[cherry-holmes]

Glimpse of a life with Javier Peña

Chapter 15

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: Six months ago you spoke with Javi for the last time. Now, you tried to continue with your life without him.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous chapter

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: Angst. Talk of depression. Mention of daddy issues. Brief description of reader’s body. I decide not to give more warnings to avoid spoilers, so keep the reading under your own responsibility, but in general this contains +18 material.

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I knew you

Leavin' like a father

Running like water, I

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

'Cause I knew everything when I was young

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Finally, on December 2, 1993, Pablo Escobar died in Medellín, bringing an end to years of violence and fear to the country. Of course, the ghosts of evil would linger over for a long time. The narcoviolence was a vicious cycle that corroded everything it touched. But for now, the police of Colombia and the DEA had shown that there were still good people and hope. Even if ir wasn't completely true.

When you saw Steve's photo in the newspaper, you felt proud of him, of course, but you knew that Javier deserved to be there too. He had given many years of sacrificing his own safety and personal life to fulfill his duty. There was no other American who had done as much for his country than Javier Peña. He deserved recognition, he deserved to be decorated and rewarded for his years of service.

But instead, he was being judged for using unorthodox methods to do his job. It wasn't ideal, but it was effective in the end. Who hasn't looked for alternatives in their most desperate moments? They didn't deserve a man like him. And now he was paying the price.

You hadn't heard anything about him since that last call, six months ago. You didn't know if he had been judged or sentenced yet. And you weren't sure if you even wanted to know.

Days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, weeks had turned into months. While everything around you seemed to continue its normal course, you felt stuck in Bogotá. Memories of warm nights with him, hurried breakfasts in his truck, and cozy dinners at home lingered, haunting you like ghosts of a past life. You tried to distract yourself, to focus on the routine of daily life, but thoughts of Javier lingered like shadows in the corners of your mind. You wore the necklace he gave you on your birthday like a charm. It was your most precious treasure, the three pearls representing the love he had for you and you for him. Your fingertips sought it out every time you felt down, sometimes unconsciously.

You found it difficult to concentrate on something else, your thoughts constantly drifting back to him, to the uncertainty that clouded his future.

You started to think that maybe the problem lay within you, that you were somehow unworthy of having the man you loved beside you. Doubts ate away at your confidence, questioning your worthiness of love in any form. In the late hours of the night, you grappled with the echoes of your past, recalling the pain of your father's abandonment when you were just a child. That trauma left a deep hole of abandonment in your heart, a wound that never fully healed. And now, facing Javier's absence, it felt like history was repeating itself. The two men you had loved the most had left you, leaving behind a trail of broken promises and shattered dreams. Yes, you still had your beloved grandfather, José, but in those moments of anxiety and depression, you couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with you to not been worthy of love.

Your mother wasn't very helping either, as she wasn't very kind towards you. She never asked you how you were now that you came back or told you she missed you. And when everything with Javi happened, she made cruel comments, hinting that for him you were just another woman and that it was your fault for sleeping with him and not respecting yourself.

However, you had your sisters who supported you through the grief, and the love of your abuelo meant everything.

He was a lawyer, and he offered you a temporary job on his independent buffet while you find a job that suit your requirements.

Losing your dream job as a translator in a foreign country, enduring very difficult situations that put your life in danger, and losing the love of your life—all the trauma and heartbreak left a hole in your chest. It felt as though a part of you was missing, as though you were navigating the world with a piece of your soul torn away.

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The Saturday sun bathed the cobblestone streets in a warm, golden glow as you emerged from the church, your heart still echoing the hymns of worship. Beside you, your beloved abuelo walked, his arm linked with yours, his weathered face radiant with the peace of faith.

"What do you want to eat, papá?" You asked him.

"Sarita told me about a new restaurant," he answered as your mother joined his side, "She said they have delicious barbacoa and consomé."

"I don't think you should eat that, papá," your mother intervened, her brow frowned. From the look on her face, you knew she was going to confront Sara for craving such food for grandpa. "The doctor said..."

"The doctor said many things, María," he replied firmly. "I'm going to die anyway, so I'm gonna eat my birria!"

You smiled to your abuelo's stubbornness, and although you knew that your mother could be right, you just couldn't help but want to fulfill his cravings.

"Okay, papá, we all going to have barbacoa," you promised.

Before your mother could say anything to you, your nephews and nieces ran by your side, pointing towards the churro seller.

"¡Tía, cómpranos churros!" they shouted, and you found yourself outnumbered by them.

"Okay, okay!" You smiled as you watched them bouncing in front of you. "Everyone line up by height and ask the señor de los churros nicely for yours."

Your nephews and nieces cheered at unison and ran towards the vending cart. Both your sisters insisted on pay for their own children churros, but you told them that you wanted to buy churros for everyone.

As your sisters and their husbands agreed with your grandfather and your mother to all go to eat to the restaurant Sara propose to your abuelo, you tried to help the churro's vendedor not going crazy with all four children. All of them were under ten years old, so you can imagine how noisy and playful – and troubling – they can be.

As the kids devoured their churros, you juggled between keeping an eye on them and ensuring they didn't wander off too far. Their laughter filled the air, echoing against the cobblestone streets as they ran around in playful abandon.

Guiding your nephews and nieces back to your family, you barely noticed the bustling activity around you until a familiar voice pierced through the chaos. "I've always known that you look even more beautiful around kids."

You froze in disbelief, your heart skipping a beat at the sound of his voice. You turned around and saw Javier standing there. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you took in the sight of him. He looked different, yet somehow the same—the same rugged charm, the same warm gaze that had always captivated you. His mere presence was like a jolt of electricity, sending shivers down your spine and stirring emotions you thought long buried.

As the reality of his presence sank in, a whirlwind of emotions swept through you. Part of you wanted to run into his arms, to hold him close and never let go. Another part wanted to push him away, to confront him for leaving without a word, for breaking your heart with his silence.

But as you looked into his eyes, you saw the pain and regret reflected in his gaze—the same pain you had been carrying in your heart all these months. And in that moment, all your anger and hurt melted away, replaced by a flood of overwhelming love and longing.

"Javi?" your voice cracked, eyes inevitably flooded with tears. ''How...?''

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. "I shouldn't have left you like that."

Without another word, you closed the distance between you, your heart pounding with anticipation. Javier's eyes softened as you reached out, your arms trembling as they closed around his torso. The touch was electrifying, sending a surge of warmth coursing through your veins.

You couldn't understand exactly how he was right there, what happened during all those months?, how the hell did he found you? But he was there, he was between your arms again... His warmth, his scent, his beating heart beneath your ear, were things you thought you would never feel again.

"¿Tía?" you heard the little voice of Ana, the youngest of your nieces, as she pulled the skirt of your dress. "Is this Javi? The boy you always cry for?"

You glanced down at her, innocent eyes wide with curiosity, and then back at Javier, uncertainty clouding your thoughts. How could you explain the complexities of love and loss to a child?

"Ana, come here," Silvia, her mother, approached to grab her. She looked at Javi and then back at your watering, reddened eyes. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," you answered, a smile prompting on your lips, blush coloring your cheeks. It was the first time in a long, long time that you felt a genuine sense of emotion and happiness since you arrived in your birth-town. "Silvi, this is Javi. Javi, this is my sister."

Javier extended his hand towards Silvia, a warm smile gracing his lips. "Nice to meet you, Silvia," he greeted, his voice gentle and sincere.

Silvia's expression changed upon recognizing his name. Her eyes softened as she shook Javier's hand. "Likewise," she replied, her eyes flickering with curiosity. Of course, she had memorized his name and appearance through the photos you had shown her and Sara of your time in Colombia with Javi. Your sisters had wiped your tears and listened to your heartbreaking cries for him.

You saw your family approaching you, everyone seeming curious and expectant. Your hands were shaking, your heart felt like it could punch through your chest. So had so many questions, so many things to say to him. Suddenly, you felt overwhelmed.

"Buenas tardes," your abuelo approached to you. You recognized that look on his face, the same he had every time you or your sisters met a new boy. Your abuelo had always been the jealous kind, but in a sweet way.

Javier greeted your abuelo, extending his hand in a gesture of respect. "Mucho gusto, Don José. Javier Peña," he said, his voice resonating with genuine warmth, remembering your grandfather's name.

Your abuelo's eyes twinkled mischievously as he shook Javier's hand. "¡Ah! So you're the famous Javier," he replied, his tone tinged with playful teasing.

Javi looked at you with a playful arched brow, causing your face turned completely red, like a tomato. You were the most gorgeous tomato he had ever seen in his life.

"Everyone, I want you to meet Javier," you said, gesturing towards him with a smile. "Javier, this is my family."

Your sisters and their husbands exchanged glances, their eyes bright with curiosity as they greeted Javier warmly. "Nice to meet you, Javier," Sara said, extending her hand.

Javier shook her hand with a polite nod. "You too. You must be Sara."

Sara chimed in, her excitement palpable. "Yeah, it's great to finally meet you in person."

Your mother, who had been observing quietly, offered a reserved nod of acknowledgment, her expression unreadable.

As the greetings subsided, Silvia turned to Javier. "Hey, why don't you join us for lunch at the restaurant? We'd love to have you."

Before Javier could respond, you interjected gently, "Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to have a private conversation with Javier first. We can catch up with everyone later this afternoon at home."

Javier's stomach churned at your words. "Have a private conversation" sounded like you were about to have a serious discussion. He wasn't expecting you to receive him as if nothing happened, as if he hadn't broken your heart. He was surprised and relieved when you hugged him upon seeing him, but he thought it might have been just a quick reaction, an impulsive action prompted by the heat of the moment.

Silvia's eyebrows raised in surprise, but she nodded understandingly. "Of course, hermanita. We'll see you both at home then."

With a collective agreement, your family bid you and Javier farewell, dispersing toward the church's parking lot with chatter and laughter trailing behind them. You turned to Javier, a mixture of anticipation and nerves swirling in your chest, ready to finally have the private conversation you'd been yearning for.

"So, shall we take a taxi?" you said finally.

"Actually, I brought my truck," he said, pointing at the park across the street, where you saw a red 90s Chevrolet Silverado.

"You drove all the way here?" The thought of him driving three hours, crossing the border, just to see you stirred a whirlwind of emotions within you. It was both overwhelming and heartwarming to know that he had gone to such lengths to be with you.

"Of course, from Laredo" he confessed.

As you walked across the street towards his truck, the atmosphere between you felt familiar, bringing back a flood of memories. Javier unlocked the truck and held the door open for you, as you settled into the passenger seat, the scent of his cologne enveloped you, filling you with a sense of comfort.

Once you were there, feeling overwhelmed by his return, after everything you had been throgh being away from him, thinking he was even in jail. It was too much, you barely could process it... You finally broke, as soon as Javi closed the drivers door, you started crying.

Javier's heart ached as he watched you cry, his own emotions swirling inside him like a tempest. He reached out tentatively, his hand hovering over yours, unsure if he should offer comfort or give you space.

He called your sweet name in a way only he could. You felt shivers just hearing it, reminding you of the power he had over you.

You turned to him, tears streaming down your cheeks, your eyes filled with a mixture of sadness, relief, and confusion. "Why, Javi?" you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. "Why did you leave me?"

Javier's heart clenched at the pain in your voice, the anguish etched into your features. He took a deep breath, steeling himself to face the truth, to lay bare his soul before you.

"I thought I was doing the right thing for you," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was trying to protect you."

You wanted to ask again "why?" but you knew it was unnecessary because you understood why. He was trying to shield you from becoming attached to a convict, a man who was not physically free. It had taken you a long time to grasp the magnitude of the situation and his sacrifice. Javier Peña wasn't a selfish man.

"It's important to me for you to understand that at that moment everything seemed to be against me," he continued, his eyes staring at you with longing and desperation, as he feared you wouldn't want to hear him or wouldn't believe him. "Don Berna betrayed me and forced Judy Moncada to leave Colombia and spill everything about the DEA agent who was foolish enough to trust them. I was told that I had committed a federal crime by getting involved with Los Pepes."

For a moment, the gravity of his words left you speechless, grappling with the enormity of what he had endured. You knew firsthand the dangers and complexities of his work, but hearing the details of his ordeal sent a chill down your spine.

"I had to make a choice," Javier continued, his voice tinged with regret. "I couldn't risk your safety, not when everything was falling apart around me. I thought I was doing what was best for you, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness."

New tears welled up in your eyes as you reached out to him, your hand trembling as it touched his. In that moment, words seemed inadequate to express the depth of your emotions, the overwhelming rush of love and forgiveness that flooded your heart.

"I missed you," you confessed, your voice barely contained. "I was devastated. Not only for how things between us ended, but for thinking about what would happen to you..."

Javier's gaze softened as he listened to your heartfelt words. He reached out, gently brushing away your tears with his thumb, his touch sending a wave of warmth through you.

"I missed you too, every moment," he admitted, his voice filled with raw emotion. "Not a day went by when I didn't think about you. Te amo."

"Javi?" you spoke softly, wiping your tears and turning your body to fully face him.

"Yes, bonita?" he said, and your stomach fluttered with thousands of butterflies that had been sleeping, waiting to hear that word he used to call you. Bonita, you'll always be his bonita.

"Kiss me already," you whispered, the words escaping your lips before you could hold them back.

With a tender smile, Javier leaned closer, his gaze softening as he brushed a stray tear from your cheek. The air between you crackled with anticipation, the weight of months apart dissipating with each heartbeat.

As his lips met yours, a surge of warmth washed over you, igniting a fire that had been smoldering deep within. You let out a shaky moan when his tongue met yours, sending electricity to your core.

Javi growled at your reaction. He was so needed of your touch, your kisses; that skin-to-skin sensation he sink in when he made love with you. Cause even during the darkest moments when he feared he might spend the rest of his life behind bars, he couldn't bring himself to be with anyone else. He was yours, in body and spirit.

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You and Javi were hungry and had so much to talk about. So you guided him through the city, searching for somewhere quiet to eat and converse. As he sat across from you at the table, perusing the menu, you still couldn't believe he was actually there—free and as handsome as ever. It felt like years had passed since Bogotá, the last time you saw him. Or maybe you suddenly died, your heart finally giving up missing him, and that was heaven.

Javi finally looked up from the menu, his gaze meeting yours. "Everything okay, sweetheart?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes as his broad hand reached across the table to touch yours.

"No... I mean, yes!" you said, your voice trailing off. "It's just... I'm so, so happy you're here, but I still can't process what happened."

Javi smiled, his eyes reflecting a mixture of tenderness and longing. "I promise, mi vida, I'll never leave you again," he vowed, his words a silent promise to cherish and protect you for as long as he lived.

The waiter approached, and you both placed your orders. After she left, you spoke again. "How did you find me?" you asked with genuine curiosity.

Monterrey was a sprawling metropolis, and in the '90s world, finding something or someone without an address or a phone number was no small feat.

Javier leaned forward, his expression radiating warmth. "It wasn't easy, but I remembered when you told me about going to church every Sunday with your family," he began, his voice low and intimate. "I recalled the name of the church and the municipality, so as soon as I arrived in the city, I searched for it. It took me all day yesterday, but I managed to get a lead, and it paid off. I found the right one."

You nodded, deeply impressed by his determination and resourcefulness. He was a proper DEA agent who spent years looking for and taking down sicarios. Of course, he was going to find his girlfriend on the first try. It was very sweet how he would do anything just to be with you, though, to have you back.

"I was fuckin' terrified that you were angry with me for leaving you like that," he continued, his voice tinged with regret. "Or worse, that you may have someone else already."

You looked at Javier, sensing the vulnerability in his eyes, and felt a pang of empathy. The thought of him fearing your anger or the possibility of you being with someone else touched you deeply.

"Javi, I could never be angry with you for trying to protect me," you said softly. "I was angry and devastated at first, I'm not gonna lie," you confessed, your chest aching with memories of those endless nights of overthinking and tears. "But it wasn't directed towards you, but towards life. I couldn't accept the decision you had to make, but with time, I came to understand that you only wished the best for me, and it was very sweet and unselfish."

You reached your delicate hand across the table to grasp his. "And as for someone else, there's never been anyone else for me. It's always been you."

His eyes softened, relief flooding his features as he squeezed your hand gently. "You're the only one for me, too, bonita. You're the best thing that could ever happen to this son of a bitch."

You leaned forward to kiss his lips. The familiarity of his touch was overwhelming and comforting at the same time.

When the meal was over and both of you were back in his truck, you asked him where he was staying.

Javier glanced at you, his expression thoughtful as he considered your question. He mentioned a hotel downtown, and you recognized it from what you had heard.

"You can stay a couple of days. I want to show you the city and introduce you properly to my family, if you don't mind," you proposed.

"Me encantaría pasar todo el tiempo del mundo contigo, mi vida preciosa," he said, and you flushed at the sweet nickname. "Actually, I was thinking about moving to a hotel closer to your house."

"That won't be necessary. You can stay with me," you offered without hesitation, feeling a rush of warmth at the idea of having him close again. "I'm living with my abuelo y mi mamá."

"I don't want to be a bother," he began, but you took his hand gently and looked into his puppy eyes.

"You're family now, and family never bothers," you assured him. "My abuelo has a spacious house, and you can stay in the guest bedroom. You know, we can sleep together..."

"That's okay, baby. I understand," he agreed, leaning over to place a kiss on your lips. "So, where do you want to go now? Wanna go home?" he asked, turning on the gear.

"Actually," you began, your cheeks burning and your heart pounding with anticipation, "I was thinking that we could go to your hotel."

With a mischievous grin, Javier glanced at you, his eyes alight with excitement. "Can we?" he asked, his voice filled with playful anticipation.

You smiled shyly, nodding as your cheeks turned cherry red. "Unless you want to spend the evening elsewhere."

Javier's eyes sparkled with amusement as he caught your playful tone. "Oh, I'm perfectly content to spend the evening wherever you desire," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of mischief.

You chuckled softly, feeling a rush of excitement tinged with nervousness.

"Be careful what you wish for, baby," he added, his voice filled with longing. "I've missed you so damn much."

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The hotel room was nice, elegant and spacious. But of course you didn't noticed that at first, as you were very busy devouring Javi's mouth. He guided you towards the bed, hands squeezing the soft flesh of your hips; yours cupping his head.

"I love you," he muttered against your mouth, pausing briefly as you unbuttoned his shirt. "You don't have any idea how much I needed you. I couldn't breathe..."

His voice wavered with emotion, and you couldn't help but notice the vulnerability in his tone. Your fingers brushed against his lips, a silent gesture of reassurance. You still had a lot of questions, things that you would like to know, but you were sure that you had a lot of time to do it. For example, when his next move was to get rid of his shirt and you saw the scar on his side, where you knew he had been shot. Your fingers traced the damaged skin, your throat constricting at the sight of him being hurt, where he could have lost his life...

In that moment, you didn't want to cry anymore, to regret things that, fortunately, were in the past now.

"I'm here," your voice was barely a whisper, but he was close enough to hear every word. "I'm not going anywhere."

Javi nodded in agreement, leaning in to meet your lips once again. His skilled fingers unzipped the back of your dress, sending shivers all over your body as his fingertips met your skin. The light fabric pooled around your feet, his gaze darkening as it roamed over your body with desire.

His hands captured your waist, caressing the skin of your ribs and hips. His touch felt desperate, yet gentle. His fingers traced the exposed, soft skin at the edge of your bra, then smoothly moved to unclasp it, freeing the lace that covered your breasts.

You were hypnotized by the waves of heat emanating from both your naked torsos. Restless to relive that skin-to-skin sensation you longed for so much.

"God, how I missed your body," he whispered, almost unconsciously, as he devoured you with his eyes.

Your cheeks flushed even more, a shy smile appearing on your lips. "And I missed your touch, Javi," you confessed back.

With a mischievous grin, Javier glanced at you, his eyes alight with excitement. "Did you?," his voice filled with playfulness. "Did you touch yourself when you missed me?" He wanted to know. You nodded, an innocent gesture that made his cock throb on his pants. "C'mere. Show me," he ordered, leading you to the bed, where he had you lie back in the center.

Javi knelt in front of you, between your legs, your core aching with anticipation. "C'mon, take your panties off," he ordered, and you gladly obeyed.

Pushing your hips up, you grasped the edges of your panties with your fingers and began to slide the garment down your legs.

He couldn't help but hiss when he saw the glistening between your folds, where your honey pooled for him. "Touch yourself, baby, just like how you did when you were thinking of me," he whispered.

You traced a path on your skin, from the place above your belly button, down your body until your delicate middle finger met your slick. Javier was mesmerized as he watched you move up and down along your pussy, taking extra care every time you reached your clit, causing little whimpers to escape from your lips.

Suddenly, Javi felt his pants getting tighter; it was almost painful not to free himself. His hands went to his belt, and he started working on it. "Keep going," he encouraged you, as your eyes followed the glorious path of pubic hair that preceded his cock. You bit your lip, intensifying the movements on your pussy, the sound of your wetness filling the room.

"Don't be shy," he said, his voice thick with lust. "That little pussy looks so good."

You took his word and inserted one finger into your warm body. His breath quivered at the sight; he couldn't contain himself anymore.

"How does it feel?" he asked, as he took his hardened cock out of his briefs. You whimpered at the sight, your walls clenching, as if they were screaming to be stretched by its length. Javi took himself in hand and started jerking off to satisfy his own itch.

"G-good," you mumbled. It was true, but you knew it was nothing compared to the feeling of his cock inside you. So you added a second finger to try to calm your urgency, the gushing sounds surrounding you as you moved your fingers in and out of your pussy. But it wasn't enough. You wanted him.

"Javi..." you murmured.

"Tell me, bonita," he responded, his voice filled with anticipation. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you," you said, without stopping your movements.

"You want me? You want this?" he teased, showing off his cock right in front of you. A pearl of precum glistened on its tip, veins pulsating along its length. Your mouth watered at the sight. "C'mon, take it. It's yours."

He didn't have to tell you twice. You stopped what you were doing and knelt on the mattress to press your body against his. Your hand went directly to his cock, eliciting a growl from his chest.

Javi's cock fit perfectly in your tiny hand as you moved it up and down while kissing him passionately.

You let your body fall over his, and he didn't hesitate to allow himself to be placed underneath you. Your lips then moved to his neck, traveling down to his chest, his stomach... When he realized you were actually going south, he took your chin and made you look at him.

"That's not necessary..." he clarify. He wasn't expecting that.

"I want to," you insisted.

Without another word, you positioned yourself right over his cock, taking it in your hand and placing a kiss on its tip. "Fuck..." he reacted.

You were unsure what to do, as it was the first time you'd done it. You only wanted to make him feel good.

So you tried licking its head, the salty taste on your tongue making your pussy clench around nothing. Then, you attempted to take the head into your warm mouth. You had to open your mouth wider than you expected, your hand gently placed on its base. It was too big, hard, and too long.

You bobbed your head at a constant rhythm, encouraged by the moans and hisses he began to let out. Javi's hand went to your hair, gathering it into a ponytail, both to let you work easily and to clear his view. "Good job, baby," he praised.

When you tried to go further, its head at the back of your throat made you gag, so you had to take a breath. "Take it easy," he said reassuringly as he tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. "You're doin' amazing."

You went back to it, but this time a little lower. "Holy shhh..." he growled, feeling the wetness and warmth of your tongue licking his balls. They tasted salty, heavy on your lips. You closed your hand around his length, moving it up and down to please him. Slurping noises filled the room, amplifying the intensity. "You look so pretty taking my cock like that baby."

You alternated between using your mouth and your hand on his cock and his balls, growing more confident with each movement, trying to take him deeper as you could. Your mouth felt like heaven for him, but he needed to stop. He wanted to fuck to you properly instead of just cum on your tongue. There would be another chance for that.

After a moment, Javi sat on the bed and gestured for you to do the same. You could barely catch your breath before his mouth captured yours, his arm around your waist. You knelt in front of him, providing easy access to your breasts, and he didn't miss the opportunity, capturing one of your nipples into his mouth. You threw your head back, moaning at the sensation, your fingers tangled in his hair.

He worshipped your body, squeezing your hips and back, massaging your ass with his broad hands. Then his fingers found your soaked pussy, taking advantage of how wet you were as he introduced one of them inside you. You whimpered, moving your hips over his hand, desperate to quell the need for him. He added a second thick finger, stretching you so damn good. They slipped in and out without effort, and Javi could feel your slick running down the bare palm of his hand.

Javi licked the sensitive skin of your nipple before shifting to your other breast. He sucked and played with the tip of his tongue on the nipple, just like he did when he played with your clit, like a starved man.

"Javi..." you whimpered.

Once he was satisfied with how wet you were, he guided his cock to your entrance as you instinctively lowered your hips. Both of you moaned as he made his way inside you, stretching your walls. The sensation was painfully familiar for both of you, the feeling of being connected in an intimate, raw way. It was as if you were born for each other, like you belonged together beyond the physical realm.

He didn't waste any time, going straight to help you move over him. Once you understood the assignment, your hips started working almost on their own. "That's it, bonita, give it to me."

You could feel him very deep inside you, his tip brushing against the entrance of your cervix, his balls thrusting against you every time you went down. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to kiss him, engaging in a battle of tongues and a tangle of legs.

"Your cock feels amazing, mi amor, la extrañé mucho," you whispered in his ear before you bite his earlobe.

"That's why you wanted to suck my cock?" he asked, his fingers gripping tighter on your hips, urging you to move faster. "My fuckin' dirty girl, so right for me..."

"Wanna see how dirty I can get?" placing your hands on his chest, you pushed him back so he could lie down again.

He was pleased with the view. The curves of your body, every roll, every pore, every freckle, every stretch mark. You were so sexy and gorgeous.

He tried to reach for your body, but you took his wrists and placed them over his head. You started moving your hips: up and down, front and back. At first, it was slow, savoring every inch of his cock slipping inside you. Then, you moved faster, riding him as whimpers escaped from your mouth, joining the skin-to-skin sound of your bodies thrusting together. Your hands went to his chest for more balance as you rode him.

"That's it, baby. Don't stop...fuck..." he grunted, his hands on your ass to help you keep going.

You slowed down when your legs began to ache, leaning down to capture his lips. His broad, warm hands caressed your hair, trailing down to your shoulders and back until they reached your waist. With a swift, smooth movement, Javi turned you around. Before you could process it, your body was beneath his, and he penetrated you again. This time, the soft moan you made when you felt him inside was silenced by his mouth.

"I love you, bonita," he promised, moving his pelvis against yours.

With your hands cupping his head, little whimpers escaping your lips, you echoed the sentiment. "I love you so much, Javi."

His thrusts grew harder and faster, his arms bearing his weight to avoid crushing you. His growls and whimpers were music to your ears. Your lips caressed the soft skin of his neck, your hands roamed everywhere along his broad back. He was lost in you, shivers crossing his entire being every time he reached that deep spot inside you, eliciting cries of his name from your lips.

"You like that, bonita? Hm?" he breathed out, his voice captivated by his own pleasure. "Fuck, I love your pussy."

Your orgasm was so close, he could tell by the way your walls clenched around his length, and the rivers of your nectar emanating from your cunt. You tried to warn him, but you could only mumble as your body shuddered beneath him. "I know, baby... Fuck, I'm gonna cum too."

You felt how he was doubtful about his next move. He wanted you to come, of course, but he was so dangerously close to his own release that he needed to be careful not to come inside you. But you were so horny and lost on the pleasure that you knew you want his load dripping out your pussy.

So you tangled your legs around his torso, forcing him inside you. "I'm gonna cum..." he warned.

"It's okay... I want you to fill me up..." you moan.

"Yeah? That's what you want, honey?" He cooed, his lips placing soft, wet kissed on your jawline.

You nodded, "Ye-yes! Fuck, Javiii!" that's the only thing you could say, as his movements were almost erratic, hungrily against you.

"I'm gonna fuck a baby into you... What about that?" he grunted, the mere thought of it made the both of you shiver with pleasure.

"Yes! Oh my... Yes! I-wa.... I'm wanna have your baby, Javi," you mumbled, so lost on the moment that you couldn't even think about the weight of the words you spoke.

"I'm gonna cum so deep on you that you're gonna smell like me for days, baby."

Those were the words that made you finally lost it. Your entire body seemed to implode for a moment before it exploded on a devastating orgasm. Throwing your head back against the mattress, your nails digging on the muscles of his arms and toes curling as your squirted on his cock. A silent scream of pleasure took the shape of Javi's name.

With one last final thrust, Javier followed you reaching his release between deep-voice whimpers and grunts of your name over and over again. You felt his warm load filling up, mixing with your slick, making you clenched even more, milking him so damn good.

As he felt himself softening, he pulled out and lay beside you as both of you tried to catch your breath again. Finally, Javi wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest, the warmth of his body comforting against your skin. You lay there together in silence, the only sounds filling the room were the rhythmic beating of your hearts and the soft exhales as you both recovered from the intensity of your lovemaking.

After a while, Javier felt your body shake a bit, and it wasn't long before he heard you sniffing. Were you crying? He tried to see your face, but you hid from him with your face against his chest. It was evident that you were crying. He felt a pang in his chest, concern washing over his face as he tried to make you look up at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice charged with worry and guilt. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, no," you rushed to say, wiping your tears with your fingers as his brushed your hair and placed it behind your ear. "You didn't do anything. I'm just so happy."

Javier's expression softened as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you protectively. "I'm here, mi amor," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I'm not leaving you ever again."

You melted into his embrace, feeling safe and loved in his arms, the bliss of your orgasms still lingering on your bodies. After a moment of silence, he spoke again, his fingers gently tracing circles on your back. "I really meant it."

Struggling not to fall asleep, since you still had to return to your grandfather's house, you asked, "What?" Your voice was soft, barely audible above the hushed rhythm of your breathing.

"I want to have babies with you." His words hung in the air, tinged with both sincerity and excitement.

You flushed, a warmth spreading across your cheeks as you processed his declaration. Your heart started to beat faster, and you didn’t even think he was completely serious yet.

"Well, we have to get married first, then," you replied, a hint of playfulness in your tone.

"I know,” he added, determination on his tone, “I'm going to ask your grandfather for your hand tomorrow." His eyes meeting yours with unwavering resolve.

"Are you serious?" Your voice was tinged with surprise, a mixture of disbelief and anticipation.

Javier nodded, his gaze softening as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Absolutely serious," he affirmed, his tone earnest. "¿Quieres casarte conmigo?”

Your heart fluttered at his words, a rush of emotions welling up inside you. New tears of joy fell down your cheeks as you nodded repeatedly. "¡Sí! Sí quiero, Javi. Quiero casarme contigo," you admitted, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Then it's settled," he declared, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, pulling you closer to him again. "Tomorrow, I'll talk to your grandfather, and soon after, we'll start planning our wedding."

You nestled closer to him, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. You still couldn’t believe what was happening in that moment. Just that morning, your heart ached with his absence, and you couldn't imagine seeing him ever again. If someone had told you that same afternoon you would be in his arms again, making love with him, and practically engaged, you wouldn't have believed it. You would have thought it was a cruel joke. And yet, there he was with you, vowing to share a life together.

NEXT CHAPTER

#pedro pascal #fanfic #narcos #pedro pascal x reader #javier peña smut #javier peña fic #javier pena imagine #javier pena fic #javierpeña #javier pena smut #javier peña x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javier peña #javier peña scenes #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javi peña #javi pena #pedro pascal fluff #pedropascalfanfic #pedro pascal smut #javierpeña x reader #javier pena fluff #javier pena one shot

[swanpyart]

INSIDE JOB PART 2 Spoilers: Ron and Reagan

Honestly, I feel like people are a bit too hard on Ron in the finale. I feel like his feelings about not wanting to be involved with the Shadow Governments are perfectly reasonable and, if Reagan weren't so attached to her colleagues and Brett, and wasn't as ambitious in her career path, she would have immediately gone with him.

I don't think Reagan or Ron is wrong for their feelings. That's kind of the point: they care about each other but ultimately have different priorities. And, also, they're both clearly traumatized from their own experiences and trying to work it out in different ways.

Like, Ron is clearly self-destructive and pushes people away when he feels he's unable to connect with them. I think that's part of why Brett initially disliked him; Ron has little drive to appeal to others and is perpetually disconnected because of his own trauma. Brett starts to like him when he becomes more sincere in his approach. Not to mention, he's low-key kind of suicidal; he doesn't seem to want to die, but his obsession with memories seems to stem from his intense guilt. He was raised Catholic and clearly harbors intense shame for his entire life, and has spent his entire career doing awful shit, so he feels weighed down by his own brain and his own existence. The way he describes his experience drinking an entire vat of memory-erasing fluid sounds like he's describing a suicide attempt to Reagan. In the end, the only way Ron was able to free himself from his perpetual guilt is to forget it all, and he just assumed the same for Reagan, by assuming that this guilt was something they had in common. And he's not ENTIRELY wrong; Reagan has expressed countless times how much she's hated her job and her coworkers, so, naturally, he assumed she'd be excited to run away from it all with him.

Reagan, is not like that at all, though. She is constantly curious, determined, and angry. She doesn't resign herself to sit back and let the world burn, she wants to DO something. And erasing all of her memories would serve no purpose to her, because she prioritizes her own autonomy and mind, and her connections to others as above her own sense of peace. (plus, Rand has erased her memories before, and she probably doesn't want to go through that again). To Ron, ignorance is bliss and truth has caused him great pain, but to Reagan, ignorance blinds her to the truth of the world. It blinded her to how awful her father was, of how to open up to others, and how to accept the unfairness of the world.

Besides, and this might be a hot take, Ron is ABSOLUTELY correct when he says Reagan should quit her job. Every episode shows that Cognito is basically a zoo full of insane, awful people, Reagan has had to deal with monsters of all kinds, has nearly died on several occasions, and her coworkers are all assholes (even if they do care for her deep down). Remember, Ron hasn't seen everything we've seen of the company, and from his reactions, it seems the Cognito is WAY more dysfunctional than the Illuminati, meaning that Reagan is in even more danger. I mean, a halloween party culminated in everyone getting contaminated with a virus in which everyone wants to be his friend (and as someone with social anxiety, that is my worst nightmare). Ron even says that every time they get together in public they nearly die.

And you might say, "well, why doesn't Ron just quit and let Reagan work?" Even if he did, he'd have to live with the constant fear of his girlfriend/potential wife possibly dying from whatever horrific event is happening at her job that day, and their relationship (as shown in the alternate timelines) would eventually deteriorate, because its extremely difficult to control the entire world and lead a fulfilling romantic life at the same time. Even in Part 1, Bear-O said that her job at Cognito makes her life more difficult. Ron's whole Appleton plan would start them off with a clean slate.

A clean slate isn't what Reagan wants. She would lose all that she's worked for, and she would never give that up. In the end, they both lost what they wanted (each other) and got what they needed (Ron gets peace, and Reagan gets her means to make actual change).

If anything, I feel that Reagan and Ron's relationship, in some ways, is a direct parallel to Rand and Tamiko's relationship. Both Rand and Reagan want to rule the world, but they have someone they love who simply can't accept it and continue as if nothing is wrong. The difference between Rand and Reagan is that, while Rand insists that he can have both the entire world and the validation of this one person, Reagan knows she can't have both and lets Ron go, because she loves him.

#inside job netflix #ron statler #inside job Ron #reagan ridley #reagan ridley inside job #inside job #ij #ij spoilers #inside job part 2 #inside job part two #inside job rand ridley #inside job rand #rand ridley

[luxxuriantt]

Blessings coming your way

This is my first PAC, so its gonna be a bit short and the pics are not mine. You know what to do, just chose a pic that draws your attention and scroll down.

Pile one-9 of cups , the star, the devil So the main theme here is a wish fulfilment and/or detoxification from something or someone, possibly that has been a burden for some time now. I believe this pile to be dreamers, the people who always see the bright side (or try to) and have a rather optimistic approach to life. It is possible that you have been secretly hoping for something and waiting for the universe to deliver it, for some it may be a thing you try to manifest. Whatever it is, you knew of the joy that it would bring. In the near future, expect to receive it. I believe for most this is either a material object ( chances are you will get it for Christmas) and for others it can be a goal achieved and recognition. Something that's personal but of high value to you and definitely. For others in this group, like i said, its overcoming and letting go of something that has been causing you anxiety or making you feel stuck. I think whatever it is, it has been present in your life for awhile and it has been sucking your energy, like you think you are getting better and then you are back at zero. It feels more like a mindset rather then an actual situation, nonetheless, the ending is near. For everyone tho, getting your desire manifested brings huge satisfaction and pure happiness. So i hope you enjoy it and make most of it pile 1.

Pile 2- the judgement, the six of wands, the high priestess

Right of the bat, this energy mostly feels like internal, so the blessing will, for most of you choosing this pile, occur inside of you. The main theme is change and transformation, its finally taking and action for something and changing, it feels like braking a shell and emerging as more powerful and dignified. I think some of you will finally start listening to you intuition and take that step, do the thing you always wanted. It can be as simple as changing your style, trying out that new hairstyle, to applying for the job you want, or even moving from your current home. If feels big, if feels significant, it feels brave. In the near future expect to be more seen, to get more looks and attention, because your energy is expanding , is glowing and i believe things around you will change too. Maybe you are not the loudest person rn, or you hold back in some areas, especially where you wish to excel. Well pile 2, seems like your five minutes are coming.

Pile 3- 10 of cups, 3of cups and the king of pentacles

This pile, will soon enjoy love, abundance and laughter. Happy relationships and mutual love seems to be popping out strongly. I don't feels as tho romantic love will be the thing, although it is possible for few, but i pick up on energy where confusion and doubt in your existing relationships is removed and solved, its a smooth sailing. Maybe you are not aware of how much the people around you love you, but you will be showered with love soon. I think you will get in touch with old friends and some family members, if you do celebrate the holidays, you're gonna be so happy. You will catch up, enjoy a wonderful and carefree time filled with laughter. I think you will catch yourself, in a moment, where everything seems perfect, you have your family around you, they are all well, your friends cant wait to meet up with you, your partner is giving you all their attention and you feel like you are on top of the world. Your financial situation and job/studies will be good too, if you have exams, you will pass, so don't worry lol. Some may even get some money or gits that's gonna add up to your energy dear

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #tarot #intuitive tarot reading

[bestanimatedmovie]

Choose your favorite!

Time to fly!

Vote in the other polls!

What fans say:

How To Train Your Dragon:

The message was just nice. I have a lot of nostalgia for it. I used to be a huge dragon nerd as a kid and dragons just weren't that prevalent in media here, especially not as friendly figures. I still love HTTYD and it's sequels nowadays.

It was one of my favorite movies as a kid and one of the few movies I watched that wasn't a barbie movie, it's just really cool.

Best movie featuring dragons period. The pure wish fulfillment fantasy of having a highly intelligent fantasy creature companion that can fly and doesn’t mind being ridden like a horse, therefore also the best execution of the dragon rider trope in all of fiction. Extremely funny, adding to the comedy is the fact that only adults have Scottish accents and all the teens have an American accent. So good that even its tv show follow up was decent by extension. The bit where Hiccup is trying to earn Toothless' trust and they start to work together changed me on a fundamental level.

I LOVE IT SO MUCHSHJKBSKHGDK I have a bone dysplasia which causes some bones to be a little bit more hollow and whenever I would feel a pain in my top back, 8 year old me was like ''woah I'm growing wings its my time to fly like toothless'' lol and it was always a dream of mine to fly. Weirdly enough I could relate to toothless because the "not being able to fly but you should be" felt like an allegory to a lot of my life! It gave me hope when he WAS able to after the help of others + the care he always needed + that mechanic wing thing made me feel like with the right ''recipe'' could help me get better too. My favourite scene is the first flight!! I love the animation for it, it makes me feel like im flying through the clouds too! The soundtrack is amazing too, I still cry to the songs.

I could write an entire essay about how much I love this movie, it truly is one of the best films ever made to me. Utterly flawless on both a technical level and a story-telling level. Not to mention the score oh my GOD the score of this movie changed my life. There are too many scenes that are so impactful, but the Forbidden Friendship scene has to be one of the best. Test Drive too.

This is literally my favorite movie of all time. This movie got me through the worst times in my life. It’s about love and friendship and all that lovely goopy stuff and it’s also fucking gorgeous.

THE cinematic masterpiece of our generation. On god.

This movie is an absolute masterpiece, the animation is pretty, the score is perfect, the relationship between Toothless and Hiccup is so sweet, Toothless is absolutely adorable. Definitely one of DreamWork's best films.

It's a beautifully animated movie about an unconventional viking boy named Hiccup finding his place in a world where dragons and vikings are constantly at odds, and how he changes the world around him. The dragon designs are unique and beautiful, and the vikings are larger than life and match the exaggerated setting.

Who on Tumblr DOESN'T want a dragon best friend I ask you. I would kill to have what Hiccup & Toothless have.

It does a brilliant job balancing tropes in a way that subverts and plays into them. There is so much in it for both adults and kids, it doesn't look like other animated films, it feels more grounded and in that realism it becomes so beautiful. The friendship in the film feels very real despite one of the characters being unable to talk! Forbidden Friendship scene is, in my opinion, the greatest scene in the history of cinema. The music, the lighting, the cinematography, the pacing, the emotions, it is practically perfect in every way. I could go on but I think ya get it.

God this movie defined my childhood and it's still so good when I rewatch it now. I'm guessing you'll have had this submitted a good few times bc it goddamn deserves it but. Hiccup is so relatable and !! dragons !! big cute dragons whose animation models are based on cats!! based fr

I have many fond childhood memories of this movie and in particular I loved how my cousin would "talk" for Toothless (cousin was babysitting us when we first watched the movie). Another thing is The SCORE. The music is iconic and awe inspiring to this day. That first time when Hiccup and Toothless fly together and it Works and the score absolutely goes HARD, I loose my breath every time. It's great. Also have you seen Toothless he's an adorable dragon and a badass, what's not to love?

Makes me cry every time because Hiccup and Toothless are such good friends and they love each other and end up as two halves of a boy dragon soulmate sandwich also the music is extremely good who doesn’t like dragons anyway.

It's the story of a beautiful friendship forming between a boy who doesn't fit in and a dragon who is the last of his kind. It's so cute. And it shows positive representation of disability, Hiccup and Toothless become disabled in ways that meaningfully parallel each other. Hiccup makes a prosthetic tail fin! And Toothless is just so cute!

The sound track is amazing

Honestly everything is phenomenal. It has a good use of comedy and an excellent story and character development. There are also countless beautiful and awe-inspiring scenes supported by an amazing score.

Up:

It is a very emotional movie about an old man learning to still enjoy life even though his wife died.

Such a beautiful film about loss

#How To Train Your Dragon #Up #best animated movie #round 2 #tournament poll #tumblr's favorite

[wannabepapa]

thinking about working in this little shop, maybe a bakery or small diner, where part of your contract to work there is to go through a full term magical pregnancy. but they aren't going paying you when you're outside of work, so for reasons to do with labor laws or whatever, your pregnancy gets paused. you only grow when you're clocked in for work, meaning that a full nine months of pregnancy takes over two years to complete even when you're working full time (and most of the employees are only part-time). imagine coming right up on the end of a pregnancy, maybe overdue, and ready to be done, and you get a few weeks off for the holidays. Last year maybe you were at the end of the second trimester, big but not massive. Just a little inconvenient. this year you have to get all the way to the New Year with this cumbersome belly, stretched and exhausted, just waiting to go back to work and throw that little apron on so you can be unburdened.

The bakery is definitely the strangest place I have ever worked for. The pay was fantastic—more than I could have ever imagined getting in my entire lifetime! Really, there shouldn't be a reason why I was overcompensated for such an easy job. That was until I had finished with my training and officially hired.

The owner was a wizard—very old, very powerful being—that had only one condition for me to even be considered as a worker. They had a fruitful side hustle as surrogacy business (the place was merely a façade to keep the magickal government off their tail) and in order to be brought into the fold you would need to fulfill pregnancy contracts for the customers. Not only had the background check been meticulous in its contents but my medical history had been gone over with a fine toothed comb. If I were honest hearing that I was still being considered with my medical problems it blew my mind. Raising that concern the owner explained magical remedies that would heal any ailments that would otherwise cause pregnancy complications, meaning I would be the perfect surrogate for the babies. I didn't hesitate a moment while white knuckling the pen to sign the dotted lines.

I should have read the fine print.

———

There clearly was nothing standard about this operation. To quell any magickal suspicions these pregnancies were enhanced in very special ways. The fetuses were perfectly healthy and safe, the pregnancies were as normal as possible given one big circumstance. The pregnancies were elongated and you only progressed while you were on the clock.

As terrible as it sounds to an outsiders prospective, this is easier to handle. With the slow growth I was able to go about life normally for much longer without worrying that my secret would be revealed. Though the nausea and overall discomfort were murderous in the beginning my first trimester took six and a half months—I barely looked any different! Every scan I had showed a perfectly healthy pregnancy which meant more money being added onto my already cushy check. It all felt like a fever dream.

As the weeks turned into months of growth I had begun to realize I was enjoying this. As much as I had felt anxiety over passing nine months I was able to get into the groove of this magickal pregnancy. It was easier with my coworkers in the same predicament in so many different stages for us to all bond together. Though taking the mandatory holidays for Thanksgiving and Christmas were difficult—there was no extra growing and it felt like my skin was burning with power that was ready to burst forward. Stepping back into the bakery I swore up and down that I grew about four inches around the middle from this surge of pregnancy magick.

Now that I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy a whole two years later, I am more than ready to pop. The babe is very happy in here having parties every day of the week and even midnight (let's be honest here it's more like three am) dance battles to show off their moves. As much as this little nugget has brought happiness, excitement, and joy into these long years carrying I clearly need a break. My skin is stretched tightly across my womb with no trace of skin unmarred by red stretchmarks. I'm not angry about it since most were there before I got pregnant. What I will miss is having someone this close to me when I needed them and experience the craziness of pregnancy over an extended period of time.

What I really truly hate is that I'm stuck at home now until the fifth of January. It wouldn't be terrible if I wasn't on the cusp of labor with false contractions for the last three weeks or the equivalent of a bowling ball sitting heavily on my pelvis. The baby shows no signs of being ready to leave their warm home but I'm very certain that there will be a visit to the birthing center in the coming days after I start work again. I don't think I'll be the only one either. My one coworker has twins and he is very ready for those buns to be delivered as soon as possible.

Even with this bump in the road I can see myself doing this all over again. Possibly requesting to go part time for that pregnancy—to really relish in my slow growth and see how different it feels

#;ask and ye shall receive #tmpreg #nonbinary preg #The Bakery™️ #;this is so very very good nonnie please let me kiss your forehead #;i am so sorry this took so long but i didn't want to share this #;i wanted to keep it to myself because i love the concept and do want to make an oc and verse for this bakery #;please feel free to send more about The Bakery™️ someone i beg #permapreg #magical preg

[animebw]

Seasonal Reflection: Summer 2023 Anime

I've noticed over my years of seasonal anime watching that summer tends to be the weakest season of the year. For whatever reason, everyone saves their good shows for winter, spring or fall, leaving the middle of the year to limp along with few real standouts. But god almighty, even by those standards, this was a dismal fucking season of anime. Forget just not having many good shows, there were so few shows that even had the potential to be good. Trying to find anything with a fighting chance of turning out even halfway decent felt like trawling for nuggets of half-digested corn in an overflowing septic tank of obviously bad isekai, obviously bad light novel junk, and obviously bad wish-fulfillment rom-coms. And then, just to add insult to injury, basically all the shows that did start out strong ended up tripping over themselves in some way. So not only were there so few anime even worth keeping up with this season, none of them managed to score anything higher than "pretty good." This is, unquestionably, the worst anime season I've sat through since I started watching seasonally. So let's take stock of the few shows I kept up with and pray for better things once the much-more-promising fall season gets under way.

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead: Unfinished/10

Well, isn't this unfortunately ironic. The increasingly exploitative conditions that anime is made under have resulted in so many high-profile shows suffering production delays as their animators crash up against the cruelty of overwork and corporate greed. But there's something particularly disquieting when that fate befalls a show that's all about breaking free from your shitty exploitative job. Zom 100 sets out to extol the joys of living a free life unchained by capitalism's cruel clutches even in the midst of the end of the world, but ends up so ravaged by those very chains that it was unable to finish its run before it ran out of timeslots. And now its last three episodes are left in limbo, the entire production team waiting for a chance to recover and find some way to bring their work to a close. It's a pretty bleak situation that almost makes you believe a zombie apocalypse would actually be preferrable to our current state of affairs. Especially when, uh, this is not a show you want to give the audience extra time to think about. Cause the more you think about it, the more all its aggravating flaws- painfully simplistic moralizing, a sexist streak that refuses to just fucking die- start to sour your good feelings for the rollicking ride it's taking you on. I can only hope the final episodes, whenever they arrive, close it out on a strong enough note to make the ride feel worth it.

Mushoku Tensei Season 2 (1st Cours): 1/10

I have stewed long and hard over how to phrase my thoughts on the second season of Mushoku Tensei. I've agonized for hours on how to express how viscerally, repulsively infuriating this show has become. But ultimately, there's only one thing I can say: Fuck this show and fuck everyone who likes it. Fuck every free ride this show gives Rudeus so he never had to face consequences for his actions. Fuck the hypocritical stabs at "redemption" that only serve to excuse and justify every female character slobbering over an unrepentant pedophile. Fuck the single worst use of slavery I've ever seen in an isekai (Cannot fucking believe I have to give Shield Hero credit for anything). Fuck this lifeless waste of a cast that steadfastly refuses to have a single interesting member. Fuck the misogyny. Fuck the masturbatory woe-is-me manpain. And most of all, fuck every last braindead, media-illiterate mouth-breather who decided to turn this irredeemable garbage into a modern anime classic. The success of Mushoku Tensei is the death of everything I love about this medium, and I will never forgive any of you for bringing us to this point. Go. Fuck. Yourselves.

My Happy Marriage: 4/10

God, I really wanted to like this one more than I did. Isn't it great to see high-profile shoujo anime with impressive productions making a comeback after years of drought? And this is a story about trauma and healing and discovering your self worth and all that good stuff! This should've been right up my alley. And yet, My Happy Marriage just left me frustrated and somewhat offended. There's such a powerful story buried in here somewhere, but thanks to a combination of painfully overwrought melodrama that robs its heroine of far too much agency, a poorly handled supernatural twist on the Cinderella formula that only grows increasingly awkward the more it tries to force the two together, and a condescending undercurrent that seems to think the only cure for years of abuse is embracing a hyper-traditionalist form of wifely duties, that nugget of potential never has the chance to blossom. What an utter disappointment.

Saint Cecilia and Pastor Lawrence: 5/10

Rejoice, folks; we've finally found the mathematical average of the slice-of-life moe romance. Saint Cecilia and Pastor Lawrence is the platonic ideal of the fluffy, disposable rom-com made flesh, pleasant and harmless while watching but leaving no lasting impression once it's done. It's a collection of cute character moments, amusing gags, and occasional stabs at emotion that sometimes tug at your heartstrings a bit, all arranged in their proper places with a likable cast and bouncy animation and just enough energy to stay moderately interesting all the way through. And aside from the somewhat unique setting of a Medieval church as home base for our two awkward lovebirds, none of it lingers in your mind once the episode ends and you find yourself forgetting all the jokes you were just chuckling to. Which may seem like a backhanded complement, but honestly? This is what I would consider the baseline for anime rom-coms. If you're gonna just be fluffy and disposable, this is the absolute minimum you should be aiming for to make me appreciate spending twenty-four minutes every week with you. I can't really recommend it to anyone but the most ravenous rom-com fans, but at least now I have a standard to judge any similar shows that fall short of the mark.

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale Season 2: 5.5/10

What strikes me most about Sugar Apple Fairy Tale now that it's over is just what an ambitious show it turned out to be. It's one thing to write a hackneyed fantasy racism metaphor about fairy slavery into your swoony shoujo romance, it's quite another to actually try and engage honesty with the implications of that idea as the core driving force of your narrative. And whatever else you might say about it, SAFT is really, truly making an effort to explore discrimination and systemic bigotry, tackling it from so many angles over the course of its 24 episodes without shying away from its thorny complexity. How many other stories like this would dedicate an entire subplot to showing how victims of one kind of discrimination can still perpetuate harm on groups even lower on the social totem pole like SAFT does with Brigit? Or explore how toxic systems of control don't magically get better just because a minority is at the helm like Lafalle? It's that kind of ambition that makes it easier to take this show's stumbles in stride, numerous though they might be at times. I'll always appreciate an earnest, messy attempt at making a statement over a safe, line-toeing space filler without the conviction to even try.

Horimiya Piece: 6/10

So this is a weird situation where the first season of Horimiya ended up rushing through the source material in order to adapt the whole story, and now this side-quel is going back and adapting all the content the first season skipped over. Essentially, it's a Horimiya DLC, scattered skits with no real cohesion or progression that just exist to give you more good times with the cast you love. But hey, Horimiya was never really heavy on plot to begin with; it's always been more a collection of moments across the lives of these friends than anything else. So I don't see anything wrong with doing a full season of just slice-of-life shenanigans, since that's basically what the first season became once Hori and Miyamura got together. And if nothing else, I certainly appreciated all the extra time with these lovable goofballs; this show does a better job than most of capturing the sheer, absolute chaos that teenage friend groups can cause amongst each other. Unfortunately, there are two episodes in the back half that truly, utterly suck- episode 9 is completely focused on the creepy pedophile teacher the show thinks is just the most hilarious joke ever, and episode 12 faceplants into romanticizing abusive relationships in a really gross way. So if you're gonna check Horimiya Piece out, do yourself a favor and skip those episodes entirely. Your experience will be better off for it.

Undead Murder Farce: 6.5/10

Pulp is a hard style to define, isn't it? You'd think it would be easy with how influential and popular it's been over the years. Ultimately, though, you just gotta know it when you see it. And Undead Murder Farce is pulpier than a thousand trees being turned into paper at an orange juice factory. It's a Victorian-era serial mystery extravaganza that turns the entirety of 19th-century supernatural adventure literary canon into the backdrop for a rakugo-performing half-oni and a severed immortal head to traipse through solving mysteries as they pursue a larger goal. Over the course of their adventures, they match wits and butt heads with vampires, werewolves, Sherlock Holmes, Phileas Fogg from Around the World in 80 Days, The Phantom of the Opera, Arsene Lupin, Frankenstein's Monster, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. And thanks to the director of Kaguya-sama at the helm, the visual presentation is exactly as gonzo and freewheeling as this brazen OC fanfiction deserves. I enjoyed every second of this goofy-ass show, and I hope we get a second season to see which classic characters our wisecracking immortal detectives rub elbows with next. It's what we deserve.

Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2 (1st Part): 7/10

It's increasingly difficult to pin down my feelings on Jujutsu Kaisen. On the one hand, it regularly delivers some of the coolest, most lavishly animated punch-ups in modern anime. On the other hand, is that enough to cover for the story's incredible lack of focus and constant zig-zagging between different ideas at the drop of a hat? Like, I might need more than ten fingers to count how many times this show just drops in the middle of building up a status quo to shift gears into something entirely different without giving proper closure to what's come before. On the other other hand, though, season 2's backstory arc finally gave us an actual driving force for the story and a strong emotional framework to understand the stakes at play, except then it almost immediately reverses on that idea by revealing one of the critical characters has been dead the whole time and his story's suddenly over just when it was really getting under way, and... eh. Look, I like Jujutsu Kaisen, and its spectacular action and hilarious character interactions are usually enough to help me forgive its overly convoluted plotting (especially this season with its massive upgrade in directorial flourish and experimental animation). But at some point I'm really gonna start wondering if any of this nonsense will ever amount to more than a slapped-together framework to justify the fights.

Fate/Strange Fake Episode 0: 8/10

It's probably not a good sign that the only anime to really inspire me this season was basically just a prologue for a show that's still being made as we speak. But with how barren this season has been, I'll take my victories where I can. And sweet buttery Jesus, am I glad that Strange Fake is getting a full adaptation. After years of having no interest in Fate beyond the core story, one of these endless spinoffs finally manages to grab me hook line and sinker. And all it took was the author of Baccano and Durarara filtering the concept of the Holy Grail War through his particular penchant for sprawling, chaotic ensemble stories full of truly deranged characters slamming the full weight of their personalities against each other for the sheer fun of it. Add a mesmerizing new visual style from a longtime key animator making his directorial debut, and the result is an epic hour-long masterclass introduction that leaves you breathless for more. This is what Fate/Zero's first episode should have been. And sure, it could still go horribly off the rails at some point, but for now, I choose to remain hopeful. May this promise of better things to come prove a welcome omen as we leave this miserable anime season behind.

Shows I Dropped:

The Girl I Like Forgot Her Glasses: Dropped at 2 episodes for extreme GoHands over-animation, and just being a painfully cringey male fantasy rom-com.

Atelier Ryza: Dropped at 1 episode for being boring and generic as fuck. Only worth it for the hilariously crowbarred-in fanservice shots and I can just look those up on their own.

Reign of the Seven Spellblades: Dropped at 2 episodes for some of the most cringe-worthy DeviantArt-tier writing I've ever seen.

The Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today: Dropped at 2 episodes for just being boring, even though it's way better than GoHands' other monstrosity this season.

Bang Dream It's MyGo: Dropped at 1 episode for just not vibing with it, idk.

#anime #tabw #the anime binge-watcher #summer 2023 anime #summer 2023 sr #fate/strange fake #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #horimiya #hori san to miyamura kun #sugar apple fairy tale #my happy marriage #watashi no shiawase na kekkon #mushoku tensei #jobless reincarnation #undead murder farce #undead girl murder farce #zom 100: zombie ni naru made ni shitai 100 no koto #zom 100: bucket list of the dead #zom 100 #saint cecilia and pastor lawrence #shiro seijo to kuro bokushi

[destinyc1020]

Hey Destiny, I don't know if you are still going to do confessional Sundays, but I have one, but I know ppl aren't going to like it.

1. I feel some tomdayas do too much with timdayas. I'm aware this is very unpopular, but let me explain. I'm not a timdaya, but I was a Timothee stan before I was a Tomdaya stan, so my perspective may be different. I feel Tomdayas need to accept that tindayas are going to exist and to stop giving them so much attention. This is not the first time both Tim and Z in their careers, are going to play with love interests that don't reflect their personal life(Timothee with Taylor in Bones and all whilst dating Kylie and Zendaya with Hunter and Mike and Josh while being with Tom).

Back in the day, actors had so much variety in their roles that had Z or Timothee been this age in the 90s, they would have been in 100 romcoms by now and ppl would be shipping them with their costars. It's not a reflection in real life. The insecurity projected unto Z is so weird because this same insecurity is never placed on Tom, and he had a makeout scene in TCR. No one thought he was dating his costar. It's obvious some Tomdayas are insecure, and tbh it's silly cause if you truly are a fan of both of them, you would know that the insecurity comes from film twitter and is not reflection in real life. Tom and Z love each other so much and have priotised so much being together. Only idiots think Timothee is a threat, lol. I also blame the lack of media literacy in this current generation. They see opinionated posts online and assume they are true, like aunties and uncles on Facebook, lol.

Timothee, respectfully, is a good actor but uses pr to benefit his films just like most actors. I saw some Tomdayas annoyed that he gifted Z wonka special edition shoes, assuming that he is trying to get with Z and is jealous of Tom. Are we bffr rn???? They are friends, nothing more, lol.

It seems you guys were not here last year for Bones and all promotion in Venice when Timothee and Taylor were PRing like their lives depended on it. Red carpet moments, TNT posts, and overall flirtatious interviews. At the time, I really thought they had something going on because i was gullibe and was happy. timothee was giving a black woman attention, lol. It was a self-fulfilling prophercy until, after the promotion of the film, when I saw them not liking each others posts, Taylor only praised Luca or did not hang out even when they were in the same city. It was then I realised it was just a job for them, lol. Its the same with Glen and Sydney doing the most to sell a film because its their job, lol.

I've been a fan of Timothee the longest, and most of his dating history happens offcamera than on until he started dating Kylie. I'm aware he dated Eiza and Lily, but when they dated, he barely spoke about them ever. Even when Lily and him had the King, they didn't stand next to each other on the red carpet, lol. Whether you like the pairing or not, this is who he wants to be with, and it's not Z, lol. Tom isn't insecure about Timothee at all. Timothee called him the rizz master for a reason. If anything, it's the other way round lol but that's for another discussion.

Paul and Chani's romance is going to be like the star was for our generation. Certain fans need to let go of this hypothetical insecurity that what's on screen is gonna be translated in real life. There's a reason why they didn't touch each other during the red carpet because both sides do too much.

There's also a consequence playing up to the romance of your titular characters in real life, Corey and India were close in the beginning of the pr of Queen Charlotte and towards the end in Brazil they bareley acknowledged because fans did too much and so did they lol.

The only way actors can do "showmances" is very early in theory careers as they don't have an established fanbase. In the new hunger games films, Tom blyth and Rachel Zegler have great chemistry, but they both have partners in real life, and so there's a line they don't cross and are still very popular. There are fans who want them together, but that's a loud minority.

Timothee and Z are well established in their careers, and it wouldn't make sense to do that.

Hopefully, I made sense, and you have a nice day!!

😳😳

Wow... this was a LOT Anon lol....

I'll try to answer your confession as succinctly as I can lol 😆

Hey Destiny, I don't know if you are still going to do confessional Sundays, but I have one, but I know ppl aren't going to like it.

Actually, yes! 75% of you said that you wanted to keep doing Confession Corner Sundays, so my inbox is open on Sundays for that.

You have to make sure you mention in your ask that it's a confession, and I'll know to treat it as such. 😊

Anyway, in answer to your ask.... I really don't think it's so much that Tomdaya fans are threatened by Timmy (let's get real), as it's more that we're sick and tired of some people seriously shipping them the ACTORS with each other when they are both in relationships with other people.

Also, when you blog, you do tend to see more nonsense coming into your inbox from trolls, so it might get more annoying 😑 than it would possibly for others who are just casually looking at things on the internet.

But yea, we all know that Tom and Z are basically married to each other by this point rofl, so it's not that we're "afraid" smthg would happen btwn her and Timmy lol. 😅 We just think it's very disrespectful for fans to be shipping her with her costar or trying to read into things that aren't even there. 🙄

Tbh, most of us just roll our eyes at Timdaya shippers and keep it moving. Most of us aren't giving them any real care like that.... at least, not on my blog.

We recognize the weirdness and laugh at it honestly. Trust me, MOST Tomdaya shippers aren't worried lol 😆 😂 Maybe the Tomdaya newbies are who you're referring to? But us old heads are like, been there, done that lol.

Back in the day, actors had so much variety in their roles that had Z or Timothee been this age in the 90s, they would have been in 100 romcoms by now and ppl would be shipping them with their costars. It's not a reflection in real life.

Actually, I challenge you on this. Would celebrities of the 90s be "shipped" with their costars? I don't really think so. 🤔 I don't think people shipped actors with each other like that. That seems to be smthg that grew out of more modern times. I kind of feel like back then, people were happy to see their favorite actors in a role together, but nobody really blurred the lines and tried to read more into a costar than necessary unless there were actual rumors of an off-camera romance btwn the two.

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I just don't think that shipping was a thing back in the 90s. Most people probably knew the boundaries, especially if that actor was already in a serious dating relationship with someone else.

Most people didn't even know much about celebrities outside of what they saw in interviews, and there wasn't social media, so what on earth was there to ship exactly? 😅🤷🏾‍♀️

The insecurity projected unto Z is so weird because this same insecurity is never placed on Tom, and he had a makeout scene in TCR. No one thought he was dating his costar.

I blame the fans honestly. Z is also a woman, so she probably gets treated differently than her male counterparts.

SOME antis have tried it in the past when they tried to insinuate that smthg was going on with Tom and Sofia Ali, Tom and Emma, Tom and Ciara Bravo, etc. It's very small, but it has happened before. The reaction is the same.... we don't like it. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It's disrespectful.

It's one thing to say that two actors would look "cute" together, vs. "Smthg happened btwn them on set during filming...", or, "Did you see the way he looked at her? There's for sure smthg going on there, and they're just itching to break up with their significant others to finally be together like they've always wanted..." 🙄

Anyway.... I DO agree that fans shouldn't put too much stock into what weirdos say online. Weirdo Shippers are going to exist regardless... that just comes with the territory unfortunately 😕.

#confession corner Sunday

[bluedalahorse]

Here’s a random Young Royals ask:

What career do you think Sara will have in the future? Or what do you think her dream job would be?

I hope your day is lovely and amazing!!

Thank you! I hope your day is lovely and amazing too.

This is a great ask, and one where you might get more than you asked for. In part because I’ve thought about it a lot. I have not only a dream job in mind for Sara, but also some nightmare jobs as well. (Don’t worry, it’s all related to fanfic plots living in my head, and I promise they end in a good place.)

Is it okay if I start with Sara’s nightmare job? This one sort of popped into my head as I was envisioning what a Second Chance Romance could look like between Sara and August, maybe a decade after canon where August has done a lot of work and made various restitutions to Simon and gotten much more of his shit together.

As for that story… I thought it might be interesting, as far as like, what generates a plot and character arc, to put Sara at a job that’s taking advantage of her compassion and desire for justice. In my experience it’s pretty common for younger people to end up in situations like that in their first jobs, and I think it’d be interesting if Sara was in a place where she won’t deal with that in a romantic partner anymore, but she hasn’t learned to recognize it in a work situation yet. (This is pretty common in growing up—you tackle one issue in one part of one’s life and it sneakily migrates to another part.) So she’s working this nightmare job for an autism charity I’ve sneakily called PuzzleChildren (it’s a reference, shout if you get it!) which is trying to rehabilitate its image after news breaks that they haven’t really hired any actually autistic people. Sara’s hired by them, and they sound sincere at first so she’s trying her best to make things work with her coworkers and bosses, but over time she just kind of realizes that this place is shit and has no intention of changing. And then she moves into a line of work that’s much more fulfilling for her.

And what might that be? Well, I’m still deciding, but there’s a few career paths where I can see Sara being particularly happy:

Some sort of career in Environmental or Disability Justice. I’m not exactly sure why. It’s just vibes. I do think Sara is a person who cares deeply about people and causes, and both of those are areas where I can see her learning more at university and just finding a place that makes sense for her.

Helping people, especially other neurodivergent people, using some kind of animal therapy. Doesn’t have to be horses! Or maybe Sara will train service dogs or something. It’s possible Sara’s affinity for horses could translate over to other animals, and she could find a career path in that general direction.

Graphic novelist or picture book writer. We see Sara drawing in one scene in season 1, and for that reason, she’s always been someone who likes to draw in my head. We also know she’s a keen observer of human behavior and could have some interesting insights if she ever decided to write a story. I can see her doing memoir graphic novels with a similar tone to like, stuff by Marjane Satrapi or Maggie Thrash. Of course if the monarchy’s still around they might want to sue her for her honesty. But they shouldn’t.

What do you think? I can see lots of possibilities for Sara in the future!

#young royals #sara eriksson #asks

[otakugoddes]

Hi hun I saw your angst prompt list and idk if you're still doing those but if you are can I have prompt 1 or 6 for Sanemi?

If you don't wanna do it, it's fine!

Angst Prompts "Maybe in another life we'll be together" + "I'm not her/him/them. I dont think I ever will be"

Warnings: Mentions of death and violence; mutual pining and one-sided relationship; mild profanity; gender-neutral reader (they/them and you).

Type: ANGST

A/N: Your request is my command! Thank you for my first ask! I'll do you one better...I'll do both! Though it might not be what you're thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sanemi never imagined himself falling for someone, there were very few people who he actually opened up to and trusted. Most of the time his dedication to his job was seen as his downfall.

Even as a Pillar, there was no guarantee of life in this job.

He knew that, though he was reluctant to the aspect of trying himself down to a domestic life, especially since there was a chance he could leave that person. Not by natural causes either.

"All the more reason to live life like you're dying right? Since we don't know when we'll draw our last breath...its obvious we have to living fulfilling lives until then!" You had told him, and you just pissed him off.

You were reckless.

Fearless.

Spitting Death in the face.

Only to look at him smugly every time when you returned from a mission, bloody and bruised, with that devil-may-care grin. "Well, looks like I'm stuck seeing your ugly mug again!" You smirked at him.

Everyone knew of the tension that resided between the two of you, the underlying feelings that made your cruel words meaningless when compared to your actions.

Sanemi was in denial.

There was no way he was in live with you.

He couldn't be.

You were just someone who happened to get on his nerves, and someone he happened to be protective of when things were cutting it too close.

You were more in tune with your feelings though.

Aware that the wind Pillar hated you more than anything, but utterly and irrevocably in life with him yourself, hiding it under airs and smirks you knew would piss him off. So, it was probably because of his pride that he refused to notice your actions being anything beyond trying to annoy him. Or his head was too far up his ass like his ego.

So it took one mission.

One mission out of how many that you were paired together. Years of "rivalry" only to come down to one mission.

Sanemi was on your left, chest heaving and bleeding.

You were holding your nichirin blade, looking as messed up as Sanemi felt. This demon was proving to be a problem, two hours of fighting it to turn up with no results and no way of killing it.

"This is pointless! Fuck!" He grunted.

You looked at him.

Sanemi was the kind of person who'd fight till the end, never letting up once, that's what you admired about him. He didn't want to tell you but, he was so bleeding so badly he would soon die. Instead stubbornly insisting to fight, despite his fatal injuries.

"Hey! Sanemi!"

"We gotta kill this thing!"

"Sanemi!"

"I cant move!"

"SANEMI FUCKING LOOK AT ME!"

"WHAT?!

It must have been the look in your eyes, because his widened, you activated your (breathing technique). Stepping in front of him, "Live Sanemi!"

A few seconds later there was a flash of light, and he heard the sound of bone and sinew crunching.

He looked up to see the demon fade, and you on the other side, but he knew there was something wrong when you turned towards him...with a pained smile.

"(Name)! Hey! You idiot! Why'd you do that? That form is dangerous?!" He yelled at you, catching you when you legs threatened to buckle and held you close.

As he scolded you for being reckless you removed your hand from your torso.

Blood seeped into your haori, and you put your hand on his cheek to stop him from yelling.

"Shut up for five seconds!"

"What the-?"

You smiled again, this time a real one. And Sanemi started to tear up, he could fe your body growing cold...could hear the last beats of your heart.

"Why wouldn't you let it strike me? You're a fucking idiot!"

"Don't waste tears on me Sanemi!"

You leaned upwards, and he craned his head towards you, "I love you, Sanemi. I have for a while now. But I guess the universe says we're not meant to be!"

He wasn't fazed in the slightest by your confession, more the finality of the tone, "No! Don't talk like that! I'll drag your ass to Shinobu and she can help!"

You shook your head, "I'm beyond saving!"

"You want to leave me now...is that it?! God, I get everybody dies...but you cant fucking leave me now! Not after saying that!" He yelled, gripping you tighter as if that would keep you there...honestly his grip started to hurt.

But you did nothing to stop him, the hurt felt better than his denial to accept that you were leaving.

"Are you going to say it back so I can die in peace?" You grinned, it was painful to do but worth it when his face scrunched up.

He scoffed, amusing you.

"Hey...you can have my blade!" You laughed and handed him your nichirin blade.

"STOP! Stop talking like that!" He was crying but laughing in the same breath, as if delirium caught up with him.

"Maybe in another life we'll be together! I love you...," You smiled, kissing him with bloody lips and suddenly...your body went limp in his grasp.

He choked back the sob...whispering "I love you too" back to a corpse as he gripped your lifeless body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few years later, he got married. While he loved his wife, he still mourned your loss, a love that he never got to pursue because if his own stubbornness.

But he was fulfilling what you told him.

To live.

And by that, you meant have a life, fall in love and get married. You knew your death was coming, so one line from you and he was doing as you asked.

He had told his wife about you, not the part about where he had been catastrophically in love with you...and still was after all these years.

His wife always got the feeling that there was something he wasn't telling her.

In another room of their estate he had your sword displayed along with your shrine, and while he never said to not to touch your blade...she always got the feeling that she shouldn't touch it.

One night...her curiosity got the better of her.

She went into the room and knelt by the shrine to pay homage before staring at the beautiful blade, that she had often seen her husband tend to daily like a ritual.

She observed it and noticed that there was ribbon around the hilt with a small piece of paper hidden.

She took the paper out and read it.

Sanemi seemed to notice her absence from bed and decided to look for her, finding her in the shrine room and asking, "What are you doing up so late?"

She handed him the note with a sad smile, he instantly recognized the handwriting and looked back up at the woman who loved him so much...who he was doing so wrong by being in love with another. It was his stupid fault.

He couldn't even look at her.

She laughed softly and put her hands on his cheeks, "I'm not them, Sanemi. I dont think I'll be ever in your eyes!"

He looked down and whispered, "I'm sorry!"

She nodded, leaning up on her toes to kiss his forehead, "I know...me too!"

As she walked out of the room, he sank to his knees and cradled your blade, feeling like love was lost altogether.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#demon slayer drabbles #demon slayer #kny #sanemi x reader #sanemi angst #demon slayer angst #sanemi shinazugawa #kimetsu no yaiba #angst prompts #anime

[showfallmanagement]

[ This post was made using Showfall Media Video-To-Text--now with employee-differentiating color-coding technology! If you believe there's been an error and would like to end Showfall Media Video-To-Text, please say 'End transcript' or turn your recording device off. 

[The footage begins, bright fluorescent lights reflecting off the tiling as the camera travels down a large hallway. The sounds of tapping footsteps and Manager#0 humming idly to himself echo off the walls. It pans towards the left side of the hallway, a door covered in multicolor Post-It notes scrawled with messages unintelligible from here coming into frame. Another room to its right is lit up with a soft white glow, the red logos of Showfall Media on its windows also reflecting on the floor. The camera pans to the other side of the hallway and comes to a stop outside this room.]

[Shattered windows frame the thick darkness beyond them, a stark contrast to the illuminated Heart now behind him. The sign hanging above the entrance, though slightly scratched and no longer lit up, reads “Forever 21”.] 

Manager#0: [Muttering.] Nowhere left to run, Editor.

[He approaches the entrance, which has been obstructed by several display shelves. With a bit of a struggle, he manages to shove one of them backwards, metal groaning and then slamming against the floor with a reverberating crash. Manager#0 makes a small sound of pleasant surprise before stepping over the shelf and into the darkness.]

[The store is littered with fallen ceiling panels and old shelves, long ransacked, filled only with dust and the occasional leftover item. Old clothing racks are positioned in neat lines around the room, like gravestones. A rustling sound is heard, distant enough the location in the store can't be identified. But close enough to be picked up by the mic.]

[The camera snaps in the direction of the sound, pausing momentarily before starting forward, pace now slowed considerably. There’s a sound of glass crunching as he calls out.]

Manager#0: I know you’re in here, Editor! Don’t try to hide from your responsibilities.

?: [Distant.] Showfall isn't my responsibility, asshole!

Manager#0: Oh, you poor thing. Your judgement’s been clouded from how long you were out there. Let us set you back on the right path! 

?: [Distant.] What, me becoming a stupid Editor again? Is that the right path? How about you eat a fucking shoe asshole.

Manager#0: There’s no escaping your role, Editor. And I must say your job is on the line here. [The camera darts around the next room as Manager#0 ventures into the back part of the store.] I’m not keen on letting you go with a slap on the wrist, but it’s your only option, unfortunately--unless you want to be fired.

?: [Distant.] I quit in June, you bitch! Can't fire me if I QUIT!

Manager#0: [Dry laugh.] Oh, that’s what I thought, too. Thought if it got too stressful I could just opt out. But I’m still useful here. And you would be too, if you didn’t cause so much trouble.

?: [Distant.] I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE! I have been hiding in an apartment since June! or well July I think. How am I causing trouble? You dipfucks ruined my life!

Manager#0: Oh, please. Life isn’t fair, Editor. You just have to accept what comes your way. Struggling will only prolong your suffering. [Sigh.] I was hoping you’d end up being less childish than that sister of yours--what was her name, Ruby?--but here we are.

?: [Still distant, but sounding slightly closer than before.] Don't. Say. Her. Fucking. Name. She's dead because of this hellhole.

Manager#0: We both know that isn’t really true. Checking her file, she’s still around here somewhere! Security department, what a fulfilling job. Come with me willingly and maybe the two of you could have a reunion of sorts before you’re fired!

?: [Closer.] For a cheery motherfucker, you sure don't value your life, do you!

[More shuffling, as if someone was moving away from a spot.]

[The camera focuses in on the direction of the sound. There’s a somewhat large potted plant next to some shelves, the leaves of which are still swaying as if disturbed by a sudden movement.]

Manager#0: My main priority is the company, something I imagine you wouldn’t know anything about. 

[He stalks towards the plant carefully, before suddenly kicking it over backwards. It lands with a loud thud and a rustling of leaves. The camera turns back to the rest of the store, scanning the abandoned display cases.]

?: [Closer.] Not there. Try again stupidass!

[The light from the HALO reflects in the cracked glass of a jewelry display, making what remains of the necklaces and bracelets sparkle. The camera pauses for a moment on the scene, as if preoccupied.]

?: [Whispered.] Fuck, he is way closer than I'd like.

[The camera jolts in the direction of the voice.]

Manager#0: What, do you think I can’t hear you? [The camera darts towards the shelf the voice came from behind.]

?: Yeah… kinda.

[The camera tilts as Manager#0 leans around the corner of the shelf, coming face to face with an unmasked employee in a brown jacket, curls of brunette hair poking out from their hood. Bloodied bandages partially obscure their face, and they clutch a gun to their chest. Their visible eye widens, shining in the light from the HALO as the scene is suddenly washed in red.]

[Employee identified! Editor#721 (Rose Henderson)]

Manager#0: Surprise! 

R: Fuck-

[Rose stuffs the gun in one of her pockets before turning and quickly skittering away, darting away behind a shelf a ways ahead. There’s miscellaneous crashing sounds from somewhere further into the store.

R: [Distantly again.] Still fast as fuck moron! Remember when I ran out of here with a plant on my back?

Manager#0: [Sighing in frustration as he begins in the direction Rose fled, red lighting turning the wall and back of the shelf on either side of him a light pink.] A plant??

R: [Closer.] Yeah! I stole a plant just to prove Showfall is fucking pathetic! Honestly, if I was sooooooo useful, how come everytime y'all have tried to get me back in my role, you dipshits failed! That's not counting the two times a member of PR tried to kill me! Honestly, if I'm so important, Manager, I'd expect more! You gave Edgar two fucking shows when y'all got him back!

Manager#0: [Nearly cutting her off, dryly.] Oh, woe is me. A single plant. Whatever will the company do without a single plant. [The camera jolts as he suddenly pokes his head around a corner created by one of the shelves, slowly turning back towards its original path as he’s met with nothing.] And I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Editor, you are extremely replaceable, but once you’ve caught the company’s eye, you’re not getting out of it. Why do you think the Mechanic got his shows? There’s no escaping us, not in any way that matters.

R: First. Not the point, I know you fuckers don't care. The point of stealing the plant was to show I could have an actual fucking target on my back and still get out! And hey! I managed to escape Showfall once--again, I haven't technically been here since June! Second, you contradicted yourself. Third, oh, I escaped once. I'll just do it again you son of a bitch! 

Manager#0: Security’s gotten tighter since your last escape, I wouldn’t be naive. [He casually shoves over a shorter display, and it falls with a crash.] And I haven’t contradicted anything. Your role here is important, but once you’ve finally been fired, we’ll just hire someone new to take it up. [Slight pause.] If you were willing to comply, then maybe I’d put in a good word for you, but, well. I do what the company wills. 

R: [A laugh.] Can I be honest? Twenty-seven fucking times I tried to escape the mall. Do you know what it's like to die that many times? I'm not going to give up, I've seen what the outside is like. It is a wonderful fucking thing. I'm not going to give up, until I am dead and fucking gone you piece of shit. If I have to go through you, Squig, Iris--HELL, FUCKING HETCH!--I will. I am getting out of here again.

[There’s a pause, neither party saying anything as the camera comes back out into the open, debris crunching underfoot.]

[Suddenly, there’s a deafening crack of sound. The camera pitches forward slightly.]

[The camera steadies again, and then pans down, slowly, red light illuminating a hole in the fabric of Manager#0’s suit jacket. Wiring slowly begins to spill from the wound.]

Manager#0: [Quietly.] No. Wait, no- No- [The camera sinks towards the floor as Manager#0 clutches his abdomen, letting out a loud cry of pain.] No, this- this can’t be happening!

R: I… I fucking did it. [She begins laughing.] I DID IT! I SHOT SOMEONE! IT TOOK TWO FUCKING TRIES BUT I DID IT!

Manager#0: [Whining.] It’s all going dark… the pain… 

[Rose pokes her head out, holding the gun close. A smile is draped across her face.]

R: Cry about it bitchboy, you dead yet?

[The camera snaps immediately in her direction.]

[Manager#0’s quiet sounds of pain suddenly disappear entirely, camera rising from the floor as he begins to snicker. He reaches his hand up from clutching the wound to re-adjust his glasses.]

Manager#0: Just kidding! [He chuckles as the camera tips to the side with his head.] Don’t feel a thing. 

[The camera begins to stalk towards her, lighting her and the wall behind her in a ruby glow.] 

Manager#0: [The smile in his voice is audible.] Nowhere left to run, Editor.

R: That’s where you're wrong, there's a lot of area to run! Oh--and gotcha!

[Before Manager#0 can reply, Rose ducks back behind the shelf, which, with a groan of metal, begins to tip forwards. Manager#0 lets out a small gasp, backing up, but not enough to get fully out of its reach before the shelf is crashing down onto him.]

R: HAHA, GET FUCKED, ASSHOLE! SPARROW, COME ON, TIME TO RUN! Or… roll, in your case.

?: [From somewhere further in the store.] Hm. Right.

[The sound of tires on tile is heard, as well as rapid footsteps, as the two people flee, seemingly going in different directions. Before they get too far, there’s a loud thunk as something hits the edge of the camera, bouncing off of it and falling out of frame.]

[The camera, which has been stuck looking at the ceiling, slowly gets back up, Manager#0 groaning as the HALO’s light flickers slightly, but stays on. His legs are revealed to be trapped under the metal. He glances to the side, and a metal soup can is still rolling on the floor. The logo reads “Aunt Claire’s Homestyle Chicken Noodle”.]

[Manager#0 sighs deeply, his hands momentarily coming up and covering the camera. The footage goes dark for a moment before he removes his hands and begins trying to lift the shelf off. The lighting slowly fades back to its usual unblinking white.]

[As he manages to get one leg free, his hand goes back up to the camera.]

Transcript has been ended. Thank you for using Showfall Media Video-To-Text! Posting... ]

#We're sorry for the delay in upload. If you continue to have problems with lag or inconvenient transcript loading times #please contact IT. This feature is still experimental and your input is greatly appreciated. Thank you! #showfall ask blog #encoreverse #encoreverse blog

[laura-de-milf]

I know we don't (yet?) have the full story for the Niles-vs-Laura situation, but so far I feel like there's a suspicious discrepancy between what we've been told vs what we've been shown about their early Bureau days and how that contributed to however their relationship left off. And I am dying for more insight into this.

We're told from the outset that Laura's the villain and the betrayer, and that Niles considers her a danger to the Doom Patrol. We're told that she's a "self-serving cancer to be excised". (And...we're meant to trust him? Because Niles is...good?)

What we're shown is two seasons of drip-fed backstory where Niles elects to stay on at the Bureau in what seems to be a very high-ranking position, despite his awareness of its dubious doings. I think, given his personal connection to the tundra expedition, we're meant to think that he's doing it for subversive reasons, but we're later shown that he initiated and conducted ongoing experiments on Metahumans using Bureau resources for his own personal gain. Sure, he eventually brought four of them to safety--but only after directly and intentionally causing them irreparable physical, psychological and emotional damage thus rendering them dysfunctional as people. We learn from Laura in 4x06 that most of Niles's projects ended up "unceremoniously nipped in the bud" for being "dangerous or foolhardy" (by an institution which considers breeding potentially-apocalyptic carnivorous butts a reasonable pursuit), so we can probably safely assume that Niles has been responsible for even more dangerous and/or harmful efforts which are conveniently not spoken about.

We're shown some moments of guilt from Niles--but given that his experiments eventually produced the desired outcome, and that this outcome directly relates to the safety of his daughter--he's exhibited no active remorse in having conducted them. Certainly nothing like the relentless self-loathing and personal destruction that Laura carries in the form of her own guilt, along with her multiple active attempts to go back (whether physically in time or by operating in the present) to fix her past actions.

Laura was an employee under oath to the bureau to fulfil a very specific--albeit also morally questionable--duty, yet still regularly broke that oath in order to rescue people whenever she could. Being a meta herself, she was putting her own safety and job at risk by doing so in an act of selflessness antithetical to Niles's selfish drive to preserve his own life. Laura was able to relate to those who would become the Sisterhood and did everything in her power to give them as much freedom as she could, given the circumstances, even if it meant distancing herself from these people who she'd come to love when tensions were mounting after WWII. Until, of course, it all went horribly wrong. (I'm still of the belief that the raid was done under coercion or began as a well-intentioned plan that went sideways for reasons beyond her control but that's an essay for a different time.) She absorbed the guilt and blame for this herself, both externally--allowing others the emotional satisfaction of directing their pain towards her in the form of anger--and internally--truly believing herself beyond forgiveness for her moral transgressions. Niles, on the other hand, lied to the Doom Patrol about his true actions and intentions in order to preserve their trust in him.

Further suspiciously, Niles's letter condemning Laura concludes, "For the good of our work [...] it is my strong recommendation that she be terminated immediately." We know objectively that the work the Bureau was doing was inhumane and that Laura has previously (secretly) opposed it. So what evidence could he possibly have had against her which would get her fired from the "good" work of an institution that actively exploits and kills people? Hm? Niles??

What we have so far is essentially a he-said-she-said between Laura and Niles about what really happened at the Bureau. It's Niles's memorandum and "evidence" which eventually got her fired, and for some reason it's Niles's narrative which prevailed--probably for the very simple reason that he was the longer-standing member, grandfathered in from the Bureau of Oddities*, and seemed to be in a more senior position. He gets to be the well-meaning-but-sadly-mistaken fatherly figure while Laura is painted as the villain, dangerous, and expressly instructed to "stay away from [Niles's] people".

But why? What really happened at the Bureau between these two? Because what we've been told from Niles isn't matching up to what we've seen of Niles and what we've been seeing so far from Laura's POV.

I so hope we're going to learn more about this in Part 2 because my brain is running in circles about this.

*Laura mentions in 1949 that she's been working for 35 years, which would have her joining the Bureau around 1914/the start of the war. Niles seems to have established himself during the pre-war Oddities era.

#I love these two SO much. they're both so complex and parallel in so many ways #yet the reception to them is so different #and it's been set up that way on purpose #basically they've both been shits but why does Niles make Laura suffer so much more for it #I am FASCINATED #niles caulder #laura de mille #madame rouge #doom patrol #thoughts.txt

[not-another-robin]

Hmm I don't have a lot of alfred hcs but I do have my aroace alfred hc

What's your favorite alfred hc?

AROACE ALFRED IS SO GOOD!!! Especially cause I find him (in my blorbo brain so take it with a grain of salt) as a great example of not needing romantic love to live an extremely fulfilling life. He has his family!! And his work!! And his kid's hero work!! And his passions!! He's literally thriving

As for some of my personal fave HCs, I've said a lot of them before but I'm more than happy to elaborate:

He is wholeheartedly a father figure to the OG JL. In my universe almost all of them are Patently Fatherless (J'onn & Shay have no family anymore, John's dad passed away, Wally's dad left him, Diana just never had one lol) and he is more than happy to fill that role for them. He visits Central City for Flash Appreciation Day. He helps Diana host feasts for holidays she misses from Themyscira. He goes to hockey games with John. He shares his favorite literature with Shayera. He plays chess with J'onn weekly. He just checks in on all of them!! He gets to know them very well and can read them just like he does Bruce. They ALL miss Alfred when they're off earth for too long. He's the team dad dammit!!!

Alfred was an especially brilliant caretaker to young Bruce because 1) their autism lines up and 2) he learned how to Deal With That from his mom and what not to do from his dad. He always encouraged Bruce to share his hyperfixation research with him because he knows what it's like to be ignored. He shares tricks his mom taught him to deal with overstimulation. He articulates social plans and protocols to Bruce very clearly because that's what he needs as well. Aside from being good at taking care of Bruce, they also just have a very special connection because of how similar their autism is! The dead silence in the manor after a party absolutely SINGS, they unwind by reading in the same room and not having to talk. There's childhood photos of each of them that exactly line up: them around kindergarten age looking unbelievably excited at the great British Library, generations apart. They have!!!! Same Guy Syndrome!!! And I saw that with the utmost reverence and love.

This is a new one: animals love Alfred. He doesn't know why. He's mostly indifferent to them but he is an animal MAGNET. When the manor is empty all the pets will follow him around like an entourage. He was, and continues to be, the only one Ace would take orders from while being trained. Batcow only has eyes for two people: Damian and Alfred.

Another one I haven't shared: Alfred dragged Bruce kicking and screaming to piano lessons as a kid. Thomas and Martha were not the driving force behind this it was all Alfred. He just thinks its a gentleman's skill and Bruce MUST know an instrument to be a well rounded individual dammit. Fast forward to when Bruce has his own kids: Bruce makes them learn piano, but it's not him dragging them. Noooo he has a job to do, Alfred is the one who has to get Dick down from the rafters to see Mrs.Henshaw. Just a giant circle of spite.

Anyway thank you for asking!!!!!

#narspeaking #alfred pennyworth #headcanons #enjoy the boy #long post

[gracetoldmeto]

@temporarydaydream sent in this question ages ago and I loved it so much that I wanted my answer to do it justice. 

Dude, I ate this question up I loved it soooo much, I will be going hugely overboard on this answer because I have THOUGHTS haha

For reference, this is the post...

Also, I know you didn't ask about Matt but Im including him here too (for good reason, you’ll see) and ALSO I am nowhere near as well versed in L as I am with Mello and Matt, so his description may be a bit more brief.

....

Wammy’s Boys and Asexuality Headcanons

(ft: L, Mello, & Matt)

...

L:  Aromantic/Asexual (Sex-repulsed)

Oddly enough, L was the most difficult to write for.

L knows that the title of “L” needs to be what everyone thinks him to be. Very little emotional personal life, a need to be perfect or “pure” in a sense (something something Lawlight foot scene and how its a biblical reference yada yada) and a career-focused life dedicated to detective work.

This outlook was likely introduced to him, as well as the other children at Wammy’s at a very young age, but L knows he is simply best fitted to fulfill that standard. He took on the title because it worked for him. He is able to function with less "distraction" than others simply because a romantic or sexual connection is not what he personally values. Only justice is.

Which means he chooses to value refining his skills in his free time, rather than seeing it as work. That's also why Lawlight exists. Light is the only other person able to keep up with L, and both of them value each others intellect in a personal and possibly emotional way. L's values are in his work and no one was ever able to really empathetically understand him until Light. And in a way that understanding and appreciation is intimate enough, especially for L.

...

Mello: Demiromantic/Asexual 

Like L, Mello’s lofty standards for self-achievement are reflected in his sexuality. And a big reason as to how Mello is able to dedicate his entire life to his cause is because he does not have to “deal with” the “affliction of sexual attraction” (if I were to put it in his words). 

However, unlike L, Mello is not sex-repulsed in the slightest. Well, not in a typical sense. Mello has a pretty active sex life but not for the reason some onlookers assume him to be. Mello specifically and exclusively uses his attractive appearance and sex appeal as a tool and ONLY as a tool. Whether it be to obtain information for a job, or just as a no strings attached stress reliever, Mello has gotten in the routine of using sex for a non-sexual purpose because of the one-up it gives him. It him feel powerful and in control in an area many others would feel exposed. 

Consequently, Mello actively avoids sex in his personal relationships because the idea of a sexual relationship has been tainted due to his unhealthy use of the act in his line of work. And that can also be difficult with his demiromantic alignment, if he doesn’t know how to express his feelings. So I think Mello represses. A lot. Which brings me to his relationship with Matt.

I’ll get into Matt’s details next, but Mello is in fact capable of having romantic feelings for Matt, but his actions have left him stuck without a way to communicate that in a way Matt understands. We have an epic stalemate of love languages between the boys and it’s often a train wreck of a miscommunication because neither is capable of meeting the other’s romantic needs without compromise. And Mello already doesn’t do that well.

Mello already does not feel sexual attraction to begin with (even if we ignore his questionable work relationship with sex) and Matt would never dream of trusting a stranger to share a bed with him. They are circles of a Venn diagram that will never naturally intersect.

...

Matt: Greyromantic/Demisexual

Ah Matt. I see him as very similar to myself, so I usually base a lot of my HCs for him around my experiences.

Matt is complicated. He is Mello’s foil in a lot of cases, but in terms of their sexualities, they conflict in more ways than they agree. Specifically because Matt exclusively cannot feel inclined to have sex with anyone unless he knows and feels safe with them. And that is rooted in a lot of trust issues, especially including when Mello abandoned him at Wammy’s. But specifically, Matt would much prefer to feel safe in everything he does, and being in a vulnerable state without trusting the opposite party is just not something Matt can do comfortably.

So when we look at that in the context of his near-lifelong relationship with Mello we run into a massive problem. Matt wants to express his feelings in a more sexually intimate way, whereas Mello actively avoids that in personal relationships in which he is emotionally and romantically invested in. The only way Mello intends to communicate intamacy is in asking Matt for help in his work. And that leads to A LOT of the tension we see between them. 

If Matt wasn't complicated enough, his crushes are usually people he knows as close friends, but not always. However the shortest crush Matt has ever had was about 4 months. The longest (excluding Mello) was 4 years and was on a friend he lost touch with after an unrelated falling out of their friendship.

He almost never acts on his feelings but doesn’t exclusively fit the demiromantic description. The demi label confuses him immensely and is the source of a lot of insecurity on top of his confusion and anxiety around his relationship with Mello, so he falls more into the grey category.

... 

***I am not an expert in this (I’m still learning) these are personal observations and opinions as a questioning demi if I say anything offensive, please let me know and I will correct it, I mean no ill intent here just well-intended character analysis***

Hope this answered your question! Thank you SO much for asking, I had a lot of fun writing this up <3

fin

#i am SO sorry this took so long #over the last 3 weeks ive been in 2 different countries 4 states and was sick with covid for a solid 7 days #when i got this ask i jumped on it i even got to discussing with @mamaturtle but i didnt have my laptop with me AHHHH #another disclaimer im not ace BUT im trying to come at this with a demi/greysexual lens since thats what *i think* i am lol #death note #L #l lawliet #mello #mihael keehl #matt #mail jeevas #dn #dn mello #dn matt #matt x mello #mellodramattic #lawlight #mail jeevas x mihael keehl #mihael keehl x mail jeevas #l x light #wammy boys #wammys boys #my writing #asks

[spicyliumang]

Hii! ♥ 8,9, 19 and 24 for the edgy oc ask game? :3

HI TRIXI!! ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝ꕤ*.ﾟ

8. Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

Enya on her own? Definitely not 😭 the guilt would eat her alive SDLALSDFS but if she had an accomplice...with a certain experience of that expertise...maybe🤔 😭

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote that you associate with your OC?

If there's any song that literally screams Enya its

Caitlyn Scarlett - Happy When (Miko Waye Remix)😭 there are a few segments from it that rly suits her 😩

[Verse 1]

Try to keep you, try to wrap you up and set the feelin' For when I really start to need you, you don't belong to anybody So I just wait, try to give you time to want the same things Say you don't believe in soulmates, I know it's real 'cause I feel the hole in me-e-e

[chorus]

I'm just a piece of a two-part puzzle Nothin on my own, only happy when I'm lovin' someone Happy when I'm lovin' someone I'm drinking singles but I see double Lonely but I know I'll be happy when I'm lovin' someone Happy when I'm lovin' someone

19. How does your OC behave when enraged?

Enya normally has really bad outbursts and she tends to have a huge meltdown afterward, the worst was finding out Tendo killed her bio parents 😭💔, In that case, she had to literally be pulled off of him after he got knocked because she was so mad she would have killed him with no hesitation😣 in the past though Sometimes it would consist of throwing small things and screaming in a pillow, but that's when she was much younger and had to live with her stepmom 😭😅 24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Honestly, I do think about that a lot 😭 In Y7 if her parents lived and time went on as usual, she possibly would have encountered the gang in Kamurocho years later, but chances are she would have had an office job or possibly married to a salaryman or even inherited her family's business.. there's no telling how her encounter with the gang would be or even if she'd really be close to them, but I like to think maybe fate would bring them together 😭 and in terms of her being with Zhao, it would really depend, but I rly love the soulmate theory you have and a huge fan of it too😭💙 so it would really depend on whether or not she's married by the time she encounters Zhao or even the state of it (since let's face it, Enya's has a bad boy streak and knows how to pick em 😭) Not to say the guy would be Shoji 2.0... but Enya likes excitement despite her meek personality, so she would always try to seek out someone spontaneous and full of life, an office worker she'd be complacent at first... not to say she has a wandering eye, but chances are she'd break it off if it would be too mundane, or at least if she doesn't feel that... spark

Ishin!Enya is a different story 😭

IF nothing happened to Todo that day or even if she managed to help him just in time for him to be able to recover, with no question she wouldn't leave his side. She would probably nag him if he did anything too strenuous while his wounds are trying to heal because we know he wouldn't sit still for the life of him 😭 he's probably attempting to brush it off and go back to fulfilling his duty, but Enya would care and tend to him once he's better. Ideally, I like the idea of them getting married, but at the same time, I feel them maybe cohabiting for a while would be great at first. Enya knows better than to beg Todo to settle down so she'd be willing to go anywhere he does, as long as he's safe 🥺 this is the good ending at least

THOUGH

IF she never encountered Todo at all and remained living with Shoji, unfortunately, it would be far worse. She'd still have to live under the same circumstances, but soon would officially be bonded to him legally. So there are no more excuses why she can't sleep with him much less avoid him at all. She would eventually bear his children. Even if she didn't want to be a mother she would still care and treat them well, look after them, and teach them the best she could. She would protect them any way she could and would fight back if need be. Eventually, it does become too much and Enya runs away with her children. Maybe she'd have 2 or 3? And she'd raise them alone. I'd like to think she'd be supportive of those in the city who would allow it since she still has a terrible rep because of her dad and naturally the children have the same fate because of Enya "breaking her sacred marriage" with Shoji or something dumb like that, which she would raise them to have thick skin and encourage them. They'd be raised well and would go very far because of that

IF the same fate happens to Todo no matter what and Enya doesn't pass from broken heart syndrome, she'd work at Teredaya as usual. Otose would keep her company and help her with her duties at the inn. On a mundane day though Shoji would reappear and cause a real scene Eventually finding his way to Enya back even against her will because of the arranged marriage. Unfortunately, even poor Otose can't save her. Enya would also find out Shoji was actually in cahoots with Takeda unbeknownst to her and he would not hold back giving every detail of Todo's suffering pretty much tormenting her every way he could. He would make it even harder for her to run off again, letting everyone know to "keep an eye on her" and anyone trying to get too friendly risks their lives in the process, which most people wouldn't do. Enya would still have to bear his children in the end and live under his means. She'd be miserable but would try to put on a brave face for them trying to be a good mom. In order to keep herself grounded, she would plant flowers, much like the ones in her hair and the ones on Todo's kimono. It would be a comfort since her love was snatched away. And it's the only covert way where Shoji won't attempt to destroy or ruin anything of sentimental value, especially if it is something that reminded her of Todo. Since she wasn't able to get Todo's kimono from Teredaya successfully from Otose, she held on to it. hoping one day Enya will be able to break free. That day wouldn't come. For a long time, so it was kept in storage hidden away.

#New lore unlocked :D #hashtag bad ending :'D #Enya's life is a rollercoaster 😭 #enya posting

[nerves-nebula]

RIP to your girlfriend but Hounds End sounds like a really interesting project/story and if a nonbinary ghost of an ambiguous canine nature came into my life, offered to kill my parents for free and without risk to me, AND helped me run away and learn to live on my own I'd VERY much take that deal.

Like ??? that's the stuff you have day dreams about even though you know its unrealistic but it's kinda comforting in a morbid way.. Love both the characters, cisn't people gotta stick together. Would probably be a lot more terrifying if the ghost dog didn't ask about the whole killing parents thing and you just wake up or get home and find a ghost dog covered in blood and your parents gone but you know what I support their rights AND more importantly their wrongs.

But I can understand your GF not wanting you to focus on vent stuff with questionable morals, but akreg the most important thing is that it doesn't hurt you to think about it

Also your the best boss ever and I have decorated the hypothetical business room/office with fun little knickknacks and a speaker system so anyone in the business can chill and listen to music when not out on a job. I may not do everything perfetly but the moment you say something I'll go "I'm on it boss" in a brooklyn accent and try my best

im glad you appreciate it for the vent/wish fulfillment that it is, hah. i probably put too much stock in her opinion at the time cause she was basically my only friend and also the only person who really WANTED to see my art. so when the one person who always wants to see your art is kind of put off by your vent project its like ouchggh. but its not like she TOLD me to stop doing it or anything.

another thing about Hounds End is that i made the dog-spirit-ghost intentionally off putting and angular, cause I love monsters and I love the idea that just cause someone looks scary doesn't mean they're actually evil or whatever. i didnt get very far but i do have these few comic pages i made back in like 2020 or something. don't judge how rough they were heh, i made them while depressed :')

I appreciate the decorations. I am an avid enjoying of Little Knick-knacks hah. fun fact about that phrase tho, I say "I'm on it boss" and "what next, boss?" every time i go to work. I love doing it, its so fun and my bosses/coworkers seem to like it so its like, nice. im getting a good grade in Being an Employee.

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #hounds end #nnart #nnoc

[mangodestroyer]

Alright, I'm a few semesters away from earning my BS. I started this journey at the age of 19, fresh out of high school. It's been a fucking mess. Dropping out my very first semester because campus life was hard on me and I had no fucking idea what I was doing, taking a medical leave during said semester because of mental health, working my first retail job (and first job ever) soon after, watching a pandemic start and quitting my job soon after to go back to school while still living at home (mandatory online cause of pandemic), went back to campus during a pandemic where there were lots of restrictions, while still living at home (understandable, but why not continue online?), switching my major a few times, picking up my second job ever (retail again) while going to school and deciding to go back to online learning because life happened (so switching to a school with that option), switching my major a few times before finally settling on mathematics (yes, I've actually stuck with it for a while now), and taking a year break from school before just now coming back to it. And at this point, just wanting to power through the rest of my degree so I can FINALLY have it (it's been four years now).

In other words, I became the exact type of college student I swore I'd never be when I was in middle school/high school.

And you know what? I really wish someone would have seen how grossly unprepared I was in high school and intervened. Told me, in a kind way, to hold off and get some life experience before making such a commitment. Those scholarships and financial aid could have waited. I think I would have greatly benefited from taking a year or two off from school and working a shitty retail job fresh out of high school. I needed to shadow some college classes and do so much more college prep. Look at what these majors actually entail. Learn what it's like to have some financial responsibilities (nothing extreme like moving out into an apartment, but rather paying a small amount of rent every month, buying my own groceries, getting a credit card and learning about credit, etc.) You know, actually be taught some adult things instead of just being expected to learn them on my own? Well, some parents actually are on their kids about these things. Mine weren't/aren't. And it's tough learning it all on your own, so be grateful for your annoying ass parents getting on you about this shit all the time.

And yeah, I bet your ass the retail job on its own would have been good motivation for me to tough it out at that school I dropped out of in my first semester. In hindsight, being a freshman at that school, living on campus, seems like such a pampered life compared to two years in retail. And more fulfilling! Needless to say, I would be delighted to go back for grad school and I can't imagine taking it for granted! As much as I hate retail, and the past four years of my life, my social skills have improved so much and I have a much better idea of what I'm doing. A second shot at my dream school is now something I realize isn't something I can just waltz right into, and quite frankly, it just sounds like it will be a lot more fun in my mid-20's than it was as a teen.