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#i think i need to see a therapist lol. but i actually saw one (or two) for a few yrs in school and i stopped because i just didnt really
silenthillbunni · 2 months
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#just a little diary dump:#i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment#she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me#+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her#school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes#and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help#then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only#1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it#down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior#but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so#i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder -#clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see)#hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad#and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol.#so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me#just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes#instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime#im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c:#im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol#i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood#she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me#which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well#im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah#im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel#so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have#to... be sad and just keep going forward#hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got#ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :((#i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy#im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me
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johnnycrass · 2 years
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 8 months
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Ahhhh I've been waiting for your requests to open, I've been following you since your first Price fic and never had an idea to request until like 2 weeks ago 😫 so, I've been thinking, what about being in a relationship with Keegan but getting separated when ODIN hits the earth and not meeting again until about 5 years later? 👀 Love your writing, hope you have a great day 🩵 :)
For The Weak And Weary
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PAIRING: Keegan P. Russ x F!Reader
SYNOPSIS: When ODIN struck you had thought he had died, sky alight with fire. It had taken years to accept it, much less live with it. But after Dallas falls, would you get a glimpse of your Lover's phantom again?
WORDCOUNT: 6.2k
WARNINGS: Angst, depressive thoughts, PTSD insinuations, gore, wounds, blood, death, canon-typical violence, (1) suggestive joke, alcohol, hallucinations, fluffy reunion, tears, verbal arguments, etc.
A/N: Just because I'm a sucker for sticking to the game timeline I made it ten years, lol. Enjoy, Anon! Very fun prompt.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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You could never make sense of what Keegan went through in 2005 during Operation Sand Viper. It would be pointless to try and wrap your head around it from what little you knew. All that mattered was that when he came back on leave, something in his eyes was…damaged. Hell, he’d only been sixteen—the both of you had known each other since you were kids, you knew when something was wrong.
And this was entirely new to you.
He smiled less and snapped more; got spooked when you dropped something in his family's kitchen like a grenade had gone off. Maybe, you reasoned, he thought one actually had. 
But through it all, you could still see how much he cared about you. When you were old enough you’d both moved into a nice place in the suburbs and started a relationship—a life shared between the two of you. 
You knew he loved you from the way he’d grip you close at night and breathe into your scalp. How when you were sick from the take-out dinner he’d brought home, Keegan would hold back your hair and rub circles into your spine as you threw up. He never shied away from telling you how beautiful you were; prided himself on it. Keegan loved to show you off.
But there were times back then when you wondered if the same Keegan that had been so fulfilled to join Ghosts had died, and, in fact, a phantom was instead puppeting his skin. He was so quiet now.
If you’d known that the world was going to end on July 10th, 2017, you’d have never let him walk out that door angry. You would have grabbed his hand and pressed your lips to his, whispered affirmations into his flesh and sobbed at the cruelty of it all.
“I can’t keep pretending that you’re okay!” You yell, tears in your eyes, at the man standing tense in the kitchen doorway. Blank blue eyes stare lifelessly. “Keegan—this is killing you.” 
It was early morning by then, and the neighborhood was quiet. The house that the both of you had moved into years ago was littered with the remnants of a happy home. Pictures on the walls, dishes in the sink, and freshly baked bread on the counter. All you’d tried to do was give Keegan a hug, slipping your hands around his waist when you’d entered. 
He’d balked back, jerking to the side and nearly elbowed you in the gut before he saw your wide eyes and stopped himself. The way he’d looked at you…how could eyes be so dead?
“You need to talk to someone,” you put your foot down, shaking your head. “I-I don’t know a therapist or…or someone who can get you proper help because I can’t keep acting like I can live like this.” 
Every mission, every time he went away, it always got worse. 
Keegan’s eyes get sharp, hands at his sides clenching. He speaks in a low growl. “I don’t need to talk to a shrink, alright? I’m fine, you just startled me.”
“Bullshit,” your mouth hisses, glaring. “You thought you were back in ‘05.”
The man points at you, strong jaw clenching, “Don’t.”
“Keegan,” you plead, “please, I love you! I don’t care about this, I just want you to be alright. To be able to live your life—”
“What you want is to try and change me!” The black-haired man barks. Your eyes blink in shock. Keegan rarely yelled. “I already told you I was fine, why don’t you get off my back all the time?” His eyes flash, pupils going to slits as his hands shake at his sides. Why did he look scared? Your breath stills, lips slightly open, with tears dripping to the tile. “Fuck, it’s like I can’t come home without you pesterin’ me ‘bout something!” 
A stiff silence falls.
“Kee—” He snaps a hand to his mouth and rubs at his stubble, suddenly unable to look at you.
“...Forget it.” It’s low and shaky how he says it, eyes wide, before he darts into the foyer and slips into his boots. You listen to the sounds of panicked shuffling before the man wrenches open the front door and slams it shut behind him. One of the picture frames falls and hits the ground with a shattering of glass.
You flinch and tense, taking down a terse breath and sniffling tightly. Trying to get your lungs to work properly, your feet take you over to the picture as they feel weak and uneven; a stuttering mess of steps before you bend down. Your fingers bleed as they shift the glass away, taking out the image of you and Keegan on your hike through the mountains. 
Smiling faces mock you, and you break at the bright and open affection Keegan wears as he looks down at you—eyebrows curved up and smirk like a knife to the chest. 
You loved him so much it hurt to breathe when he was away. 
He had needed time, you knew, but what you didn’t know was that time wouldn’t be available. Around noon the world had opened into a ball of fire and death. 27 million dead. Los Angeles, San Diego, Phoenix, Houston, and Miami…all gone…at least, that was what everyone in Dallas was telling you. 
When Keegan had been away taking a walk to calm himself, you’d been home alone. The earth caved, the ground shook; houses burst like balloons. By the time you’d crawled from the rubble of your home, all you had was the picture and the clothes on your back. People were screaming—you were screaming. But you knew that you couldn’t stay here if you wanted to survive. 
And then you’d made it to Dallas by sheer luck and the few tricks Keegan had taught you; had thought that he had died in that first strike by the Federation. You carried that guilt and self-hatred for not holding your tongue for a few more hours. 
So much could have been different in these ten years. Better. You never got over him for even a second. 
But the reality was that you couldn’t think about all of that now, because if you didn’t focus on holding your breath you would be dead in the next three seconds. 
Your hand is anchored to the body of your sniper rifle, finger hovering over the trigger as you hide behind the outcropping of rubble in the decimated cityscape; the air is hot and humid despite the weight of the night. It sticks to your skin in a sheen of violent sweat. Yet it’s still not as potent as the blood. 
Teeth gritted, you hold back whimpers as Federation soldiers stalk the grounds, scores of them—legions. An entire army that had breached the walls and executed everyone insight, soldiers, civilians, if it once moved it didn’t anymore. The burning in your shoulder was agonizing, head smashing itself back to the rubble in an attempt to stifle your own ragged need to scream into the night as layers had peeled back to allow a bullet to pass through. 
In the ten years you’d been here, you’d taken up the mantle of quite the sharpshooter; pulling on Keegan’s lessons when he was on leave and wanted to bring you to the firing range. You had even picked a rifle similar to the one back in your destroyed home—held in a plastic case and treated like royalty by your long-deceased lover. It wasn’t the same, but the jet-black Lynx made you steady like the picture in your breast pocket did. 
A reminder of what was lost and why you had picked the knock-off up in the first place.
Footsteps get closer as the sweep of a flashlight cards above your skull, if possible you go even more still, lips pulled in and heart rampaging. There were barked orders and yelling, but no more screaming. 
How long had you been unconscious after taking that shot to the shoulder? Fear was breeding with horror—was…was everyone dead?
Spanish is loudly called not five feet away, and the flashlight leaves as your breath does. You let off a quiet gasp and suck down air greedily. Eyes flashing from one shadow to another, you look for any opportunity to slip away from the city. In the wind, you could smell fire, and taste it on your tongue as you licked your lips. 
All around you can see the limp shadows of bodies and the apartments, large skyscrapers were on fire deep in their frames. The city was entirely lost.
How the federation got into the walls you would never know, though there was concern about the enemy soldiers rounding up civilians outside the walls and executing them. Maybe one cracked before the bullet entered their skull.
You bite hard into your lip to force back your pain. Trying to shoot a rifle would be useless at this point, you might as well have lost the limb. Slinging the gun’s strap over your head, you look back and forth along your visible perimeter, checking for hostiles as you unsheathe your combat knife and cradle your limp arm to your chest. 
If only Keegan could see you now.
Rounds of gunfire make the air burn with urgency, and you take the time to peek out behind as sweat makes a trail down your dirty face, dripping off of your chin as you breathe like a wheezing dog. Your wound needed tending, and you had the med pack on your vest with the supplies, but you can’t do it here.
Where’s safe? If Dallas has fallen…is there anywhere that’s still standing? A location hits your brain as your gaze darts from one abandoned street to another. You take a deep breath and whine as you force your legs to stand and move quickly, feet shifting as quietly as you’re able to make them. 
“Fort Santa Monica.” Now a stronghold, you’d heard US soldiers here talking about the large presence of military power out in California—numbers so great they rivaled those that had lived in Dallas. 
You stumble over a spasming body and slam your uninjured shoulder into the bulk of the building’s wall, groaning loudly like a wounded boar. 
“Fuck!” If you made it out of the city, that would be where you would have to go; to warn them of what was coming. The Federation had found a way inside the Dallas wall, and that meant if they had enough tenacity, they could do it to them too. 
Everything would be done if another city fell.  
Holding your knife tighter, you push off the wall and grit your teeth harder, mind running on that edge of hysteria and forced calm. It’s in these moments where you have to pull on old memories to keep you going—even if they end up hurting more than the open wounds you carry. 
Keegan had his bad moments, but you always got through them together. Years and years of knowing each other inside and out; memorizing bodies and thoughts like they were second nature. He would want you to keep fighting, tell you to get your ass in gear and go…and you would never let him down. 
You owed him that much even if some days you wanted more than anything to join him. 
Blade in hand, you hear muttered speech from up the alleyway and pause, feet splayed but still swaying as you come to a slow stop. Your ears ring at garbled sentences, foreign words spilling into one another. 
Panting, you listen closely, limbs vibrating. More gunfire echoes over the air, screams and death that get ingrained into your head like a brand into sizzling flesh. Skyscrapers burned and buildings fell with great earthquake booms. Everything is under a sheen of distance.
Get out of the city. Get to Fort Santa Monica.
“Kill who I have to,” you slur out, itching at your neck as you leave a trail of blood behind you. A single pair of footsteps walk quickly forward near your corner and you hold your breath, bringing up your knife as pain pounds in your arm. 
Deep blue eyes sit in the back of your mind, counting you down as they always did.
Keep your arm steady for me, Doll, a phantom tells you. Breathe...
When the first shadow of a Fed soldier graces your eyes, you strike. 
It’s roughly nineteen days from Dallas to Santa Monica, and that was if you kept up at a steady walking pace. If the crude sling you’d fashioned from bandages found in your med pack was any indicator, it would be double that. 
On the first day, you had hiked half-dead over the destroyed landscape of what remained of the USA, licking your wounds and counting your losses. You’d had your pick of abandoned houses, taking a red brick one just because it looked nice and you were about to pass out from blood loss. The only reason you’d made it this far was that the bullet had thankfully passed right through you, making sure that if you moved too suddenly no more damage was being done internally. You packed it with a sterile rag.
Sitting in the home, pictures gathering dust on the fireplace mantle, you tipped back a bottle of whisky you’d found in one of the bedrooms, grimacing at the sting. It was better to be drunk for what you were about to do. 
Heating up your combat knife in the fire you had started in the hearth, you watched the metal grow an eye-flinching white as you stared off into nothingness. 
“You remember when you showed me that scar, Keegan?” You always talked to him. Others had given you shit for it, but they knew the purpose. If you didn’t talk to someone, even a ghost, you would give up. 
The guilt was eating you alive, and it would overtake you eventually. Hadn’t in ten years, but it would…you knew it, everyone did. 
Keegan was everything, and nothing looked the same when you lost him.
“The one on your thigh?” Pulling the knife back, you turn to the leaking flesh of your shoulder, gushing blood as black desecrates the sides of your eyes. You’d taken off your vest and shirt. If you tried hard enough you could imagine Keegan standing in the corner, watching. Always watching. “You said you had to dig a bullet out and cauterize the wound—when I asked you said you barely felt it over all the adrenaline.”
The ghost tilts its head, eyes sad and lips pulling taunt. Your lungs take in a shaky inhale and your hand quivers; only you feel how your eyes burn with unshed tears. 
“I never thought about it before,” right as you growl and shove the knife into your skin, you bark out in fear, “But I think you were fucking lying!” 
On day two, you knew you had to avoid the remains of Fort Worth, so you decided to increase your distance and cut that landmark out entirely—too many remnants of Federation. They were everywhere now, and you needed to keep low; get out of Texas. You scavenged properties and took stock. 
Four magazines for your Lynx, a pouch with five protein bars, one bottle of water attached to your belt, and your knife. Normally you’d have a pistol at your thigh, but you’d used it up in the firefight back home. When you’d woken back up, it had been gone.
And, of course, you had the picture. You kissed Keegan’s face and placed it back in your breast pocket, caressing the material softly before clearing your throat and addressing the obvious. 
With what you had getting to California was a pipe dream. 
You’d been on the radio all day, clicking through channels and pleading for anyone alive to reach out. Nothing. Static. 
I’m the only one left. The thought was intoxicating, pounding in your skull like your hangover. Everyone is dead. 
While you had become somewhat of a loner in the last ten years, especially with the few months you’d been by yourself in the beginning, Dallas had given you a chance to build bonds again. Ten years, and in an instant it was all wiped out. 
It rang a devastating bell.
Somehow, you had cheated death where so many others had failed—not only in Texas, but back with ODIN too. You had survived, but somehow Keegan hadn’t. 
Keegan, the one who never spoke about ‘05 and jerked awake from nightmares years later because of it. Keegan, who wanted nothing more than to stay at your side when he was home and keep you on his chest when watching movies. Keegan, the love of your life.
The only love of your life. 
“I really wish you were here,” you mutter, grimacing as your arm gets jostled as you stumble over a piece of rusted metal in the empty street. “Who gave you the right to go away before me, huh? We were supposed to grow old together, Russ. You promised me that.” 
Garbage gets blown over the road when a hot breeze shifts the air, bringing the scent of dirt and the noise of rustling trees. Nature has reclaimed the towns and suburbs—great patches of ivy and long grass that rise to your hips. But the silence was a curse.
The only thing keeping you going is the thought of delivering your warning to Santa Monica, from there…
Your lips thinned. What even was there left? How many times could you go from one place to another, starting over with stories of your past and having to brush the pitying looks off as you fake a smile? 
Shaking your head, you recall memories from the better days as the light gets low in the sky. 
“You’re doin’ too much, Sweet Thing,” Keegan mutters, and you turn from the stove top with a bright smile to face him. 
He had just gotten out of the shower, towel ruffling through his dark hair as he stands in the kitchen entrance and watches you cook for him. The shirt hangs off of his wide shoulders, and gray sweatpants are loose over his formed hips—his strong brow line raises in a casual expression. 
“Oh, don’t act like you don’t like it,” you tease, hearing his low chuckles as you turn back to your pan. “You look good, y’know.” 
“Oh, yeah?” Keegan grunts, smirking, and his feet pad over to you, tossing the towel to the counter as his presence looms over your back. Large hands grab onto your hips and a nose burrows into your hair; inhaling deeply before gradually melting to the curve of your spine. 
You smile and hum, pushing back so you can rest on his chest. A chin sets itself on your head, deep massaging fingers making you pur as they bunch your sleep shorts.
It was late—nearly two in the morning. Keegan had only gotten home a short while ago, but sleep wasn’t going to stop you from spoiling him. A wine bottle was on the island counter, two glasses, and the food was nearly done from what you could scrounge up on short notice.
“...Good to be back,” the man grumbles into you, kissing your head and slowly sweeping his arms around your waist as you sighed softly at the contact. 
Your face gains heat. 
“Well, I’d sure hope so, or else this would be awkward.” You huff to hide the bright smile in your voice. But like a moth to flame, you hear, as well as feel, Keegan chuckle against your spine. His grip squeezes you for a moment. 
“How was it when I was away?” He asks as you move around the contents in the pan, nose brushing your neck as his lips travel to kiss behind your ear. He breathes against the flesh as his low rasp makes you shiver. “Any trouble?”
“Negative, Sergeant,” you raise a brow and smirk over your shoulder at him, seeing his blues spark as he gazes hard into your eyes. A faint twitch to his lips is what you get before his hand captures your cheek; anchoring your face as he descends to connect his mouth to yours.
He sighs into it, arm still around your waist—tight as if you were a pillow. 
“Keep talkin’ like that and we won’t have to wait long for dessert, will we?” 
Days three through seven were uneventful beyond the constant agony of your arm and tired legs, but on day eight amid a waterless walk in the sweltering heat was when the hallucinations began. 
Keegan walks beside you, his footsteps mirroring your own as sweat pools down your forehead and drips off your nose. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t look at you—he just walks, looking exactly like he did the day he died. 
At first, you’d flinched back and blinked wildly at the sight, panting, but then he’d disappeared and your heart had shattered. It worried you with what you were seeing, but it was also a strange comfort to be able to ramble to…something, even if it wasn’t real. Hungry and with a dry tongue, you were on the verge of calling it quits.
So on day eleven, without a wild animal in sight to give you a proper food source and all the water having to be purified, you started talking to him while licking the inside wrapper of your last protein bar. 
“But I never understood why you hated sleeping in shirts,” you licked your lips to get the remnants of granola off of your flesh, pushing away the greasy sheen from your cheeks. Your arm was burning up—every heartbeat was felt as it moved the skin around red and infected flesh up and down. Puss was leaking out from the crude stitches you had made of embroidery thread from that first house you’d found. 
“And you always kept the room freezing.” Continuing, you drop the wrapper to the ground and then take the meat of your fingers and get what little flavor you can off of them, grunting through realization. “That was a ploy to have me use you for heat, wasn’t it? Jesus.” 
The man in the corner of your vision smirks, tilting his head and chuckling from where he leans against a tree trunk. 
“Yeah, that’s right. Knew it.” Glaring at nothing, you stand from your overturned stump and nearly fall right back over, stomach yelling at you as your vision swirls. 
You dig a hand into your hair and grip at the strands, pulling and groaning. “...God.” 
Keegan comes over and stands above you, your eyes staring down at his feet as you get light-headed. You focus on his shoelaces, counting the Xs and taking down shaky breaths. When you blink like a cat with dirt on its face, the shoes are gone entirely and you stand back up to your full height.
“...Keegan?” You ask after a moment, the words disappearing into the trees, but no one’s around. 
Your sight goes to your wound and your jaw tightens, moments of clarity slipping in as a knife would into your consciousness before the curtain settles once more. 
You bend over and vomit what little nutrients you had, spending day twelve sleeping through a fit of nightmares and fever-induced delirium.
Nothing about the remainder of the time you can recall to memory—bits and pieces always flash through on long nights, but they’re only walking montages. Dragging feet, looking at your hand as if it was a foreign object as you turned it back and forth; everything in a sheen of sickness. Days and days and days. Little food. Less water. 
More than one-thousand miles.
But somehow, the Wall peels out in front of you as you crash through the foliage, your body giving out and collapsing down a large decline. Bouncing and getting jostled by rocks, you come to a stop without the strength to get back up, staring blankly ahead as your head connects with concrete. Your mouth is open in broken inhales, pain not even registering. 
Shouts echo, the pound of rapid feet. 
Green eyes meet yours, a youthful face with a beanie and stubble. He’s saying something to you, glancing over your gear and your obvious near-death situation—his hand jostles the side of your face. But your eyes shift behind him gradually, attention falling to someone more important. 
Before you finally let yourself rest, you stare at the smiling face of your steadfast phantom.
The doctors and nurses at Fort Santa Monica were nice, if a bit secretive about the entire operation. Seeing as you weren’t an official soldier, no dog tags or patches—no name in the database—everyone was a bit hesitant to tell you anything. 
Until you said you were from Dallas, of course. 
But no one was eager to rush you in your state, even if the information was dire. You had been hooked up to an IV and bedridden for a week straight; talking to nothing on account of the dehydration and electrolyte imbalances. Some days you spend unconscious. 
But what really pissed you off when you got back into it, was the fact that they had taken your Lynx and your gear—your picture.
You’d almost grappled onto the first nurse you’d seen when you’d woken without it. It was a beacon, your prized possession of damaged corners and taped tears. Water damage that may or may not have been from sobbing fits in the first five years. 
In fact, that was the entire reason you had snuck out so late in the first place. 
Stalking down the hallway in the white shirt and camo pants that had been given to you on the fifth morning you had woken up here, you pad along with no shoes, only plain gray socks. You limp with bandaged flesh all along your healing shoulder and your feet. 
The doctor had explained that you’d entirely skinned the bottoms and your heels were a mess of blisters and open wounds. 
“Take my property,” you grumble under your breath, shuffling along and rubbing at the back of your neck. “What gives them the right?” 
You weren’t going to stop until you found it. 
Reading the name tags on the walls, you silently wonder where they would have taken your stuff as you slip out of the medical ward, listening to the buzzing of the lights and frowning. As you’re limping along the next hallway, a man suddenly turns the corner on nearly silent feet. 
“Woah!” You halt immediately, heart jumping in your chest. A hand catches your shoulder before you run headlong into him. 
Green eyes lock with your own, wide and blinking quickly. Brows furrow and you’re quickly looked over before a slow, teasing remark enters the air, you listen with a growing heat on your neck.
“Y’know, I could have sworn you were supposed to be in bed, Ma’am. I miss something here?” The man who had found you. 
“Wouldn’t know,” you say blandly, blinking up at him and taking a careful step back. This brunette had a casual air to him—still in his gear despite the time. He folds his arms and tilts his head at you, smirking. “If you’ll excuse me.” 
You begin to walk forward, slipping past him and hoping you won’t get snitched on. Except it seems you’ll be having a shadow, as not a few seconds later a smooth chuckle meets your ears and the man walks beside you. 
“I think I’ll be taggin’ along if you don’t mind. Security and all.” He turns to face you, sticking out his opposite hand. “Hesh.”
“That supposed to be some kind of nickname, Kid?” You raise a stiff brow but participate in the handshake nonetheless. His grip is firm but not hard. 
Hesh blinks at you, eyes swimming with amusement before he shrugs in a boyish way and shakes his head with a laugh. “Hell, you remind me of someone, Ma’am.” A moment passes in silence as you study the area. The man huffs, “Where exactly are we off to?” 
“Wonderland,” your lips grumble, tired and wanting to sleep but not until you find your picture. Hesh sighs but you can still hear the hilarity inside of it. 
“Alright then…don’t know if you’re going to be finding a shrinking potion anytime soon, though. We’re in low stock.”
“Very funny,” your eyes send a dry look, but you relent when he prods you with his eyes, taking a corner. “I’m looking for my vest.” Hesh blinks at you in curiosity, letting you elaborate as you motion to your upper shoulder. “My pouch has some of my personal belongings. I don’t like being away from it.” 
“Oh,” the brunette nods a few times, his beanie jerking along. “Yeah, that’s no problem.” A hand is waved and you stare in confusion as he pivots. “C’mon, I’ll get you there.” 
Your eyes burn into his back before you immediately speed after. 
“Why so eager to help?” Hesh smirks at your question. 
“As I see it, if you went over nineteen days of hard hiking just to get to us, you should at least be able to keep your stuff on you, Ma’am.” Your lips flicker in a smile. 
“You’d be the first.” You tell him your name and miss the slight emotion it provokes in his eyes, head lightly pulling to the side but ultimately saying nothing. Hesh shrugs with a grunt, leading you to a meeting room on the opposite side of the building. 
Yelling is on the other side.
“Elias, how long has this been kept from me?!” The voice makes your head perk, evoking something inside of your chest. Hesh seems taken aback too, holding up a hand to you for momentary silence—not that you had to be told. 
“Keegan, I can’t have that happen. She needs to recover and you being there could jeopardize that. We need what she knows about Dallas.” Your body stills to a near-frozen state, and it’s comedic how your entire face falls to a blank slate. Wait a second.
…Keegan?
“She belongs with me—I thought she fucking died and she’s been here for who knows how long?! Why wasn’t I informed?” Rampaging feet suddenly sound off, going to the door at break-neck speed.
“Son, that’s not a good idea. This is what I was worried would happen if you found out.”
“I didn’t exactly ask, did I? As far as I’m concerned, nothing else matters besides getting back to my Girl,” the bark is ferocious and violent, more of an animal’s than a man’s. “Now where the hell did you put her before I tear this damn fort apart and—” You shove at the door before Hesh can grab you, throwing it open and letting it hit the opposite wall with a great boom of wood. 
Your wild eyes instantaneously lock into sharp blues, pulse pounding in your ears. It’s like all the air is taken from your lungs in a great punch. 
Oh, he’s so similar to how you remembered him to be ten years ago. 
Keegan stands only a few feet away, turned in your direction with his eyes so wide and small you might faint. There’s black face paint in his sockets, making the cerulean all the more bright and shocking to the senses. He’s still tall, still built, if only a bit more rugged than when ODIN struck—there are lines on his forehead and his scars are more faded. Small differences in the way he holds himself like the difference between a rabbit and a hare. Keegan’s black locks are shorter now, but still…his.
Lips part in silent shock, an entire halt of your nervous system. 
The entire universe holds its tongue as you two stare at each other; walls and rooms blur into a mess of matter and reality—this couldn’t be real. 
Keegan’s feet shift for a moment as if to steady himself as his fingers twitch. In his hand, he holds your picture, his body covered in gear and weapons. He blinks as you tell yourself he’s a phantom, simply that same ghost come back to haunt you as tears sting the backs of your eyes. But then he speaks, and it’s the same voice you had slowly lost the ability to remember in year three. 
“...Sweetheart?”
His ghost never spoke. His ghost could not imitate the phonics of his speech or the rhythm of his throat. His ghost could not make you recall the memories you’d long since boxed up.
You jerk forward just as he does, bodies colliding into a feral grip of flesh and fabric, hands latching and faces burying. Sobs rip from you as Keegan’s shaky breath echoes right next to your ear—his chest hitching and arms snatching your waist and lifting you up as easily as he always had. He holds you up without any thought of putting you down, legging your legs dangle as Elias slowly exits the room and corrals a highly confused Hesh with him.
The door shuts, but neither of you notices. 
“Keegan—” Your voice is high with emotion, hardly believing what you're seeing—what you’re touching. “Oh, my God.” 
He had been alive all this time? Ten whole years and you’d thought he was dead. But by the way he was barely letting you breathe from in his iron clutch, you imagined Keegan had thought the same about you. It was…incomprehensible. 
“Shh,” he whispers, his shushes cracking and flinching between broken gasps of your name. “Shh.” He sets you down on the floor only to have his firm hands travel to your cheeks, turning your head to each side in a desperate need to understand if you were really there.
Keegan’s eyes are wet, but no tears let themselves fall quite yet. 
“I’m so sorry!” You hiccup and the man kisses your cheeks—your browline and nose. Every piece of you he can as you both stay so intimate you might melt into one another. “I thought you were gone, I-I should have stayed and looked for you, I didn’t—”
“You’re alive?” Keegan’s hands rub across your body, gripping and tugging you closer and closer. “My Girl’s alive?” 
His tears drip to your face as he hovers above you, and you both shake with the weight of years. 
“Me?” Your chuckle through sobs—you want to scream and wail at the same time. Blue eyes flutter and ragged breaths puff on your forehead. “What about you, you asshole?” 
Keegan shakes his head, and you stare deeply into him, hands coming up to cup his cheeks as he sags forward. He had stubble now, spreading out to grate your flesh. 
The man forces a weak huff. 
“Christ,” is all he mutters before he presses his lips to yours in a kiss so unyielding you expect to have your air stolen. Ten years to feel him kissing you again—to feel his warm flesh under your hands and his heart rampage into you. 
You’d do it all over if it still amounted to this.
Your body shivers and you reciprocate with just as much fervor; this emotion of relief is so overwhelming and all-consuming that it makes your head light. You suck down quick breaths between the sensation of your lips meeting, Keegan doing the same. 
Unconsciousness was better than letting him leave again, your lover sharing that sentiment as chests slid against one another. Soft hair slips through your fingers as you grip Keegan’s hair, cascading through locks as he groans into your lips and tries to hide his tears from you. 
He pulls away and immensely shoves his head into your neck. 
“You’re here,” he whispers quickly. A hand quivers at the back of your head as your tears wet his gear. “You’re right here. You came back to me, didn’t you, Doll?” 
You cry, “I’m here, Keegan.” The man sobs when he hears you say his name, his knees giving out as you both fall to the floor and not letting the other move beyond the caress of skin and lips.
“I missed you,” Keegan gasps, “so much. Don’t you understand? I was nothing without you. You took it all from me, everything. Every damn thing.” 
You press kisses to his neck and racing pulse, healing him inside and out without even realizing it; it was only fair, he was doing the same back to you. 
The picture lays long forgotten on the floor.
“Never let me go,” your voice forces out, as he rocks you back and forth like a child. “Never again, Keegan. Please, I love you too much to go through that again.”
“Never,” he immediately promises, pulling back and kissing your lips again—neither can stop themselves from this. Blues eyes blink quickly, cataloging your face and every little blemish he’d have to relearn and study; to find the story behind. Keegan had never been happier. He felt like he might break from it. “Over my dead body, I’m never lettin’ you out of my sight. You’re stuck with me.”
You laugh genuinely for the first time in ten years and say you’d like nothing better as he pulls you back in and plants his mouth to yours in reverent worship. His arms trapping you to him as yours do just the same.
Not to leave again anytime soon. 
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star-girl69 · 2 months
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i think aphrodite kid reader x clarisse is simply just better??? like the trope is just superior??? like, we have clarisse who is tough, and mean and one of the strongest people at camp, then we have reader who is kind and compassionate and really doesn’t care all that much about fighting. so naturally, clarisse is super protective and treats reader like a princess?? how could people dislike it 😔😔
no exactly and i actually must write about this - basically this is just all about the little things clarisse does for her perfect princess angel daughter of aphrodite gf (me!!!!!!)
okay as payment for my absence please accept some shitty headcanons I LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEE
she’s just always DOING THINGS FOR YOU
she’s so perceptive and she always knows exactly what you want and need even if you don’t know it yourself
like if you like wearing high heels one) clarisse genuinely wonders what is wrong w you
she sees no practicality in them bc there isn’t lol
but also she’s like omg???? MY GF feels safe enough around me to wear shoes she can’t run in???? WHAT JOY!!!!!!!!!
and you’ll come back to your cabin being all ugh omg my feet hurt so bad laying on the bed and putting your feet UP
and clarisse is like “well i could have told you that”
excuse me????
“don’t get me wrong baby you look gorgeous and i love you wearing heels but it’s your funeral”
“DIE”
she just laughs and takes your shoes off
she’ll continue to bully you as she’s literally massaging your feet like ok girl yeah we see you
clarisse is also a MENACE about making sure you eat
“did you eat today?”
“babe you SAW me at lunch”
“just making sure….”
you’re just so kind and amazing and clarisse loves you so much but you are not the best at fighting!
she is constantly stressed when you’re not by her side
bc no one loves you like her who will protect you 💔💔💔💔
when someone takes advantage of you she gets so PISSED OFF
bc it’s not like someone is beating you up it’ll be like someone is using you as their personal therapist or smth and you’re just like “pls go speak to an actual professional wtf 😭😭😭”
and she’s so pissed off bc WHY IS THIS BITCH PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY TORTURING HER GIRL??????
she’s not afraid to beat people up for you and actually enjoys it!
anyways, clarisse is also a koala bear
and an emotionally stunted caveman
she’s not good with her words so these actions are all she has to show you that she loves you
idk if y’all have noticed but clar rarely saying ily to y/n bc it’s my personal headcanon that she has such a hard time saying those words. she shows you she loves you but for some reason it’s just so hard to get the words out. (…BC SHE IS AN EMOTIONALLY STUNTED CAVEMAN)
so she quickly adapts to do all these little things
if you’re walking down a flight of stairs trust she is holding your hand
QUEEN of opening jars for you
if you’re not feeling well or you’re tired or just feeling lazy she’ll bully someone into doing your chores for you
also this bitch is NOT afraid to stand up for you and make sure you get what you deserve.
like that one meme
“UM… she said NO PICKLES… you fucking dumbasses…”
“CLARISSE 😭😭😭”
also like in “better than revenge” she loves to watch you do your makeup
finds it so fascinating that you can only get PRETTIER
like she’s okay at makeup but you can do that shit perfectly like standing on your head
you make it seem so effortless
she’s not a HUGE makeup girly but sometimes she’ll let you just go crazy
so you can sit on top of her….. that one sapphic meme yes…..
also she’s constantly bragging about you
“yeah… i have the prettiest gf in camp… y’all are just losers what can i say”
ofc if anyone were to agree w her she would go insane
“yeah y/n is so pretty”
“um ok yeah you don’t have to say it i say it enough….”
even if one of your siblings gives you a compliment she’s like HOLD THE FUCK ON- then she remembers THATS YOUR SIBLING ITS OK and she’s like oh this is so embarrassing.
will she stop? no ofc not
she’s constantly telling you how pretty you are. beautiful. gorgeous. exquisite. all the words
loves kissing you all over
KISSES YOUR HAND 🤭🤭
anyways going back to the clarisse koala bear agenda that got away from me
she’s just always touching you
hand on the small of your hand guiding you somewhere
hand around your waist
SITTING IN HER LAP AT CAMPFIRES
no matter what type of hair you have she’s obsessed w it. if you have pin straight hair she’s so obsessed w the fact that you don’t need a huge curl routine like her, finds it fascinating
if you do have curls she loves doing a curl routine together
whatever whatever type of hair you have she’s obsessed with it and will wash it for you if you want
so soft and lovingly like a more of a scalp massage than a hair washing
will brush your hair for you, braid it for you, anything you like just OBSESSED
she loves when you like sit on top of a picnic table and then she gets to sit in between your legs on the bench thinks it’s so so fun and so so silly
she LOVESSSSS sleeping w you OBVI.
on top of you, you on top of her, she’s a koala bear. like entirely wrapped around you
partially bc she is as aforementioned a koala bear and partly bc she is overprotective even in her sleep
if you move in the middle of the night even just a little bit
she’s a super light sleeper i feel like
always on the guard fr ✊
a little bit better when you’re there tho
so if you move in the middle of the night she’ll just like caress your hair and kiss your cheek and try to shush you back to sleep
like bitch you’re still asleep have you never heard of ADJUSTING? MOVING? SHIFTING?
hope you’re not one of those people who has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night bc with clarisse that will stop
you can’t abandon her even for 2 minutes even for basic bodily functions like you just can’t it’s so inconsiderate to her… 💔
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1
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aceofpatience · 8 months
Text
🌟Your Next Significant One -> Pick-a-Pile reading🌟
I'm looking into both your and their energy, your first impressions of each other as well as the relationship itself.🤍 It's VERY specific. And kina long. Heh.💀 Tell if anything resonated! Take a deep breath, meditate and dive right into your reading! Shall we SEA?🐚
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PILE 1 -> Lapis lazuli
Energy of pile 1: Hurricane. You managed win despite everything. You overcome any difficulties thanks to your own inner strength and healing energy. I’m thinking that others may have given up on you or at least didn’t truly believe that you would succeed on your own. They might have show support but only after you won in this situation, did they feel actual respect for you. You are or you soon will be in the position of power. You have the ability to help others, but your biggest strength is how you can soothe yourself in any circumstances. It’s like you have your own inner healer/therapist, ha.
Energy of your person: You knew they were the one the moment you saw them. It’s like you’re connected by some spiritual link. There is no other option for you. You will just know. They may be hurting even if they don’t acknowledge that - it’s like they’re constantly in a hurry, always busy with something. A bit of a workaholic maybe? I think they might not even know what exactly they are lacking in life, so that’s why they are always chasing (after another win). Somebody hurt them in the past (I’m getting the vibe of a childhood friend), yet they still decide to put their trust in people. So loyal. And very down to earth. They are rational - there is a lot of on their mind all the time. Also they may have a loud inner child, who needs some attention.
Who are they -> Work/study/responsibilities: I think it’s something sport-related. For sure it’s providing them with some public recognition or prestige. More so than the material gains, it brings them satisfaction. They want to show the world how strong and capable they are. Sometimes it’s like they are their own harshest critic, aiming to prove themselves to the world.
Goals: They want to show their victory was the result of their own hard work, not just a fluke. They wish for a sense of security that they cannot really find in their work/study-related environment - it’s like they cannot rest, they must keep fighting all over again in order to prove something, maybe their own capability or resilience.
Looks: Ravenclaw vibe. People might see them as a bit of a robot, but they just prefer to keep their distance from others. Strong features (nose, chin, jaw, cheek bones), yet very subtle facial expressions at the same time. It might be difficult to decipher what they’re thinking based on their body language. Their hands are important - maybe you will pay special attention to them. Rigid figure, always keeping their back straight (I’m feeling that what’s they were taught to do in youth). They have this natural pride about them (seen also in their posture), that some might mistake for arrogance, but it’s just them and how they carry themself.
Meeting -> Your POV: "Another love". You may meet them at a time when somebody extends an offer to you, some kind of helping hand. This will result in you gaining new independence (either financial or outside of your parents’ influence). It will be a time of new prosperity and abundance for you.
Their POV: They are ready to give their heart to you right away. You will meet at a moment, when they are discovering that their previous relationship (platonic or romantic) was kind of toxic - definitely not serving them, it doesn’t seem like they got any support in it. Now they want to move on, even if their heart is still healing. But what I can say for sure is that, it quickly becomes yours.
Romance -> How you see them: At first a bit like a sad robot (but a sexy one lol). They seem intimidating, closed off, cold and calculating; you might be a bit hesitant to talk to them. They appear to be very strict (maybe it will happen in a work environment or sth official). Because of how quickly you will feel this attraction and the feeling of vulnerability it brings, you will be afraid of them hurting you. However it’s certain there won’t be any problems in the „professional” sphere - you may make a good team. Only you can see through their armor, and discover the hidden warmth and a kind of a childlike innocence to them. This unseen side of them is what is intuitively pulling you towards them, in spite of other people’s reservations about this connection. But their true feelings are obvious, you see them beyond the walls that they’ve build.
How they see you: They like a moth that is enchanted by your light. Your harmony and  stability (and for some also self-confidence). You for sure don’t pretend who you are, and they love it. You’re kindred spirits - you are the definition of a family for them.
Relationship -> White bull (it might be your symbol idk). Also the number 3. The Cupid arrow. Your feelings are evolving quickly, there is no control over them. You change their worldview - and maybe they change yours. Since the first conversation it’s over - you know they are the one for you and vice versa. The strength of you bond might frighten you for a minute, but it will eventually lead you to your greatest victory. You both are perfectly balanced together and I think your inner children will understand each other greatly (trauma bonding hue hue). And one of you will be great at dirty talk or just super smooth.
PILE 2 -> Green Aventurine
Energy of pile 2: You are trying to find yourselves - either by trying out new hobbies and activities or by constantly seeking change. You are mastering your abilities, honing them to perfection. You might have a lot of different talents, and I have a feeling that no matter what you touch it somehow always ends in success. You lucky bastards heh. For some of you - you might have left your family house behind or cut contact with your relatives, but I’m feeling you will eventually reconnect with them. You give off strong fire and air placement energy. Or those signs might be important to you in some way.
Energy of your person: Consciously or not, they feel responsible for others. This constantly evolving energy of yours is what’s really alluring to them. They themself have a sort of fluid energy, experiencing transformations of their own. But despite all that, they are quite stable and somebody that people can rely on. All their changes might be mostly superficial, like changing up their appearance or style from time to time. They might have a tendency to mirror those around them, but inside they remain the same. Grounded, Earth placement energy. Also BIG romantic vibes off of them, but I will elaborate on this later. For some of you, you might have known them before, but haven’t thought of this person in years before this meeting. And all the memories attached to them suddenly resurfaced.
Who are they -> Work/education: Rather stable line of work, that has a lot to do with them sitting by the desk. It’s a routine, but a rather pleasing one. They work or study alone, maybe sth with a computer. It might not be something they dreamed of spending a majority of their time doing, but it keeps the „money” coming lol. It’s just something that they recognize as a normal responsibility for themself. They can’t really see any other options, so for now it’s the most suitable alternative for them.
Goals: They wish to have more time for themselves, so that they could finally focus on all the small everyday pleasures - ones that usually had to stay in the background. They  truly yearn for a true romantic love, but deep inside they might fear they will never find it.
Looks: Really pretty/handsome overall. They take good care of themselves, both in term of health and looks. So they may have a daily skin-care routine. PEARLS. This is either an important symbol for them, or it can mean that they like to wear jewelry, have some significant tattoos or wear makeup? I feel they might often change their appearance, for example by dying their hair or mixing up their outfits. For some of you, and take it as it resonates, they might wear a green scarf or some other piece of clothing in that clothing lol. And their shoulders are hot.
Meeting -> Your POV: „Devil Doesn’t Bargain". A lot is going to be happening in your life at the moment  of your meeting. You may have just ended a relationship of your own but idk. You are trying to get out of some situation you don’t like. It’s not even necessary a bad or a difficult situation, but one that you intuitively feel isn’t right for you (work/love/study idk). For some of you it might entail some sort of sacrifice, that you may „use” people around you to get your way? But it sounds more dire than it will actually be lol. I also see that during this transition period, you again will be perfecting some skill. You chose to leave behind that former stagnant situation, and on your way out you completely destroyed the status quo. Maybe it was some kind of a group project, that might have ended in conflict. Bottom line is, you will be pretty occupied with all that „drama”, you won’t really be looking for any romance at the moment. So at first, you won’t recognize THAT person as someone significant to you.
Their POV: „Cardigan”!! They will be lonely. Very much so, but out of their own choosing - they are waiting for love, for the right person. Maybe it will be work that brings you two together, teamwork maybe? Or you both will be leaving your studies/job environments at a similar time when you meet.
Romance -> How you see them: At first you might see them as a rival, a competition to your authority in the group. I have a feeling you like to be in the centre, therefore this person stealing your spotlight might unconsciously trigger you. You may have seen some quality in them, that you yourself wished you had. But this irritation will last only for a short moment. You will quickly realize that you both can benefit out of having a good professional relationship with each other and them quickly discover that you actually make a good team. Then comes the chemistry of course, and the rest you can probably figure out, heh.
How they see you: Instant attraction, they feel something pulling them towards you. It like they recognize an old friend in you, someone familiar. They admire you, seriously. There are no slimy intentions on their part, they genuinely respect your position in the group, as well as YOU yourself. They are givers, they just wish to show you how devoted they are to you. And they might commit quite quickly to this relationship. Before they were looking for a place to belong and with you they finally feel like they found it. Seriously, they are really sweet. They are putting your connection first and foremost. They are probably not very vocal about that, but the feelings are very much real and intense xd.
Relationship -> 22. Intimacy. At first you might be hiding that you two are a couple, so maybe some workplace romance?I also feel that before making things „official” you two might fantasize about each other a LOT. But you will get together pretty quickly. The attraction and sexual tension is HIGHH. I feel that you guys might change up who the „dominant” party is often, as in interchanging who leads the other. You will encourage and inspire each other equally, true power couple vibes (world domination!!). When one of you experiences change, the other is able to keep up with them. Some of your friends might view your relationship as slightly „toxic” or „codependent”, but it’s only because you are stronger and more powerful together than you are by yourselves. You both have this kind of wildness in your hearts, full of ambition and hunger - one that you acknowledge, accept and love about each other.
PILE 3 -> Tiger Eye
Energy of pile 3: Hats. You have ambition and energy that is hard to focus or direct in one particular way. You are a family person, I think you might have a lot of relatives - and you can rely on them. For some of you, I see some kind of heritage coming into your surroundings. It looks like your life is put together pretty well, you have things that occupy your time(your work/studies/passion projects) and you seem to always expect quite a lot form yourselves. You may be feeling overworked, but there is still something bright and joyful about your energy. There might be something charming about your attitude, that makes people enjoy being in your presence. I have a strong feeling that you got some  really special quirks (for some of you, I repeat: collecting hats!), but people around you might perceive it as something cute or funny. (Little they know how deep your weirdness goes). I’m getting the earth and fire energy (Aries or Sagittarius). Othala rune.
Energy of your person: It’s giving strong female vibes - the energy of creation, fluidity - you can never tell what is underneath. Artistic soul (music or sketching, but signing also may be significant here). I’m getting an Ophelia vibe - but without all the tragedy lol. They have a lot of possibilities before them. They are true dreamers and heave a strong, spiritual personality. They might seem less organized than you, they don’t really do plans, but still - everything is going smoothly for them.  It’s like someone is watching over their chaotic asses lol. The energy of cats - your person is  a very independent and unconventional creature, that’s why others may either love or hate them. For some of you: the sakura blossom flower may be their signature scent or symbol (a tattoo probably?). Algiz and laguz rune.
Who are they -> Work/study/anything more official: „Go your own way”. I think they are starting a new project or something like that. And they know they will succeed - their confidence may be slightly excessive given the situation, but still. They’re right. They are just great. Maybe singing is their hobby and something they’re pursuing.
Goals: They would like to be more rational, more down to earth (I think it’s something they are always repeating as their new year resolutions, while holding their new journal or calendar. Spoiler: it never works out, heh).
Looks: Longer hair, strong eyebrows. Something about them seems untamed and wild - for example hair, pointy ears or longer canines). Powerful, enchanting voice or laugh. For some of you: icy shades of hair or, on the contrary, burning fire red.
Meeting -> Your POV: You might find yourself in the situation in which your hobby, quirks will be in the foreground (…The second-hand shop with hats?? Just thing about it…) When you get to meet your person, you will be far from home, your family and friends - new town, moving houses or simply a vacation? It will be your me-time, for sure. You both will meet either by some dating app or your mutual colleagues will set you up for some kind of a blind date. I feel you will have many options in the realm of dating, and your person will be one of them - but from the very second you know them, everyone else will fade in comparison.
Their POV: „Sky Full Of Songs”. They didn’t look for a relationship (like I said, they don’t often do planning of any kind and just go with the flow). But the moment they meet you, they will just have to know you and „win” you. Claim you. (And one of you will give the other sunflowers). Your first (blind?) date will be just perfect. You don’t have to fear there being any awkwardness or uncomfortable silence. You will just get along. A lot of talking, laughing and shared heated glances - that’s what I see for you, pile numer 3. Falling in love.
Romance -> How you will see them: You will see a confident, strong, ethereal person. Beautiful in unconventional way - seductive like a nymph or some demigod. But there won’t be anything intimidating about them, you will connect easily. They just have this inner warmth, which you will adore. They will be funny and full of life (energy of a bubbly sunshine, I would say). You two won’t be able to stop talking. You will be attracted so much to their natural way of being.
How they see you: They will find your strength irresistible. It’s like you are the shoulder they can rest on their head on. A very sexy shoulder. Hah. You give them a sense of security and a safe space - they know you would never judge them. They won’t waste any time and will give you their heart in no time. Also they intuitively notice all the „wounded” parts of you that you keep hidden from most, and will love and cherish them. I think they are going to admire your more strict and rational side of personality. (Yes, big sir energy lol). And your quirks? They’re gonna see them as important and will love them as much as you do.
Relationship -> Everything just great, nothing to add. Your energies are made for each other. Communication is your shit, you rule at this. The chemistry? Wow, dude. High af.
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Note
AITA for telling a school counselor about what my friend does online?
I (F minor) am in middle school. I have a group of friends, about 8 people, but this is about one girl in specific we can call Annie. All of us are mutuals on tumblr, twitter, etc. and we have a discord server too.
All of us are into a lot of the same things, like art, anime, video games, and have a lot of the same hobbies. Most of us also struggle with mental health stuff like anxiety and/or depression so we regularly talk to our school counselor (F, Idk how old she is).
Anyways, we're all really close and we get along really well for the most part, but lately Annie has been doing stuff that really bothers and worries us.
She's VERY into internet discourse. Has 10 paragraph long DNI page, is constantly starting fights with other people, etc. She usually argues about stuff like LGBT+ rights, womens rights, etc. but also a LOT of fandom discourse which is my biggest concern.
A lot of my other friends reblog/retweet stuff like anime gifs, fanart, memes, etc. but pretty much every post I see from Annie is her fighting with someone over shipping or something like that.
A lot of the posts are basically:
Her talking about how disgusting a certain ship or character is
How everyone who likes that specific thing is a degenerate, or freak, or pedo or groomer.
How if you like problematic ships you need to get a therapist, or you deserve to be hurt. Once I saw her arguing with someone who said they write certain stuff due to trauma and she said "You don't have trauma, you're either lying or you actually liked it and that's why you write such disgusting nasty shit"
Fighting with random people and accusing them of being a predator or a pedo
Breaking her own DNI (which says adults, proshitters, etc. DNI) and then getting mad at the other person for responding
It's really upsetting to see because she does this CONSTANTLY. She never seems to use tumblr/twitter to do things she actually likes. I never see her reblog gifs or memes or just silly lighthearted posts about stuff she enjoys.
It's especially upsetting because we're minors and she TELLS PEOPLE THAT. Like she's arguging with people that she thinks are pedos or child predators, while openly telling people her actual age. To me that's like covering yourself in bloody steaks and then jumping into water full of sharks.
I was really starting to get concerned because even in our private discord server she's always talking about how much she hates these people or whatever and how they should die, a lot of the time she says things like "they should get the wall" or "I hope their nasty fanfics happen to them irl that would teach them lol" and it really freaks me out.
She also talks about seeing the "child porn" that these people make which as far as I'm aware is drawings of characters but it still freaks me out how open and calm she is about looking at what she THINKS is child porn. I asked her if it's child porn why is it being linked in callout posts for other people (including minors!) to see and not being reported to the FBI but she just gets mad and changes the subject.
Me and our other friends have mentioned before that we don't like hearing about this kind of stuff but then she just gets mad and goes offline or gives us the silent treatment at school.
A month or so ago I got so fed up and upset, that I took a bunch of screenshots of her tumblr account and discord messages. One thing to note is that her username is VERY specific.
It's a combination of her first and last name and her birth year. Most people will not know that, but if you know her name and birthday, it's easy to tell it's her. She also goes by her real name online which I also screenshotted as proof it's her.
I brought all this to the school counselor, and I told her how worried I was about Annie, and how I think she's doing something really unsafe. Not only is she confronting people she thinks are child predators/groomers, she's telling people they deserve to get hurt in really awful ways, and looking at porn and I don't think this is good for her mental health.
The counselor at first was like "Idk are you SURE it's her? It could be anyone online!" But I insisted that it was and explained the username thing and that this was our private discord server so obviously I know it's her.
She thanked me for letting her know and told me I was being a good friend and then we talked about how I was doing, and then I left. I kind of forgot about it until a week later.
Annie wasn't online at all and I was kind of worried, but then I saw her on Monday at school. I was with our other friends and we called out her name so she would see us and come over and she LOST IT. She started screaming at us and telling us how awful we were, and how we ruined her life.
Idk what exactly happened, but apparently the counselor talked to her and her parents got involved? Her parents now monitor her internet usage, they have child safety stuff on the browsers, and she's only allowed on certain websites for doing research for school, or watching videos on youtube on their account so they can see what videos she's watching, or playing games on steam.
She said that her parents are also putting her in therapy once a week now (with an actual therapist, not the counselor) and she's only allowed to go out with an adult chaperone (either her older sister or one of her parents).
But... None of our friends know it was me who told the counselor. Annie has other friends besides us, so they're also "suspects" for being the snitch. It seems like half of our friends are relieved that Annie is kept away from that kind of stuff and the other half are mad at whoever the snitch is for ratting Annie out and resulting in her having less privacy/freedom.
At first I was happy that Annie was getting help and being kept away from this but now I feel really conflicted. I feel so disgusting talking to her and our other friends and pretending nothing happened, knowing that I was the one who told the counselor.
Annie still talks to us but she's a lot less open. We still have our discord server but apparently her parents will read through the messages to make sure she's not talking about anything bad and that she's only talking to us and not strangers.
What are these acronyms?
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luvscr · 1 year
Text
price, ghost and alejandro reacting to m!reader's sh scars (hcs)
cw/tags: depression, sh, scars, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff fluff fluff, probably ooc characters but idc🫶
apologies for any grammatical erros!
long ass note:
so i got this request which i won't be showing in case it might trigger someone nor will i tag the person who requested this bc im not sure if he would be comfortable with it. i've never written about sh hurt comfort before, simply because i didn't feel like i could do justice for the comfort part but i tried my best and tried to make it not so triggering. your media consumption is your own responsibility, please proceed carefully and do not read if you're not in the right mindset. if you're struggling, i know it's hard but please reach out to a loved one or even me. you're not alone, you matter.
price:
it was purely on accident that he saw your scars. he wouldn't mention it to you but he would ask around, people you interact with if they've heard or seen anything. when they asked questions he would simply shut them down or use his rank and pull the "classified information" card. he wouldn't really know what to do, given he's your superior so it was kind of his responsibility, so he got in touch with kate to help him find a therapist. his first instinct is to get professional help if needed. he would invite you to his office so it's just the two of you and make you comfortable, even make you a cup of tea. he would approach the topic carefully and wouldn't force you to tell anything you didn't want to, reassure you that he's not upset, he just wants to help. if you refuse to get a therapist it's okay, he completely understands and will offer you to talk to him instead. he may come off as stern sometimes but it's just because he genuinely cares so much about you and is worried constantly, no matter how old the scars are. he would try to think of alternatives for you to put that energy into if you still struggle and would be there anytime to comfort you. he kinda acts like a dad (like w everyone bruh)
ghost:
oh sweet lord this man. he kind of had a feeling when he noticed that even in the hottest weather you only wore long sleeved clothes. he would notice them when your sleeve and the somewhat shorts you had on accidentally rolled up. you just ignored his eyes burning holes through you, given it was normal for him to just stare menacingly at anyone. (not on purpose tho he just looks mean by default) i wouldn't say it would trigger him, but it would definitely stir up some unpleasant feelings inside of him because of his past. he knows exactly how you feel and wants to help you, no matter if you're a friend or just some rando at the base. just like price he would approach the subject carefully, knowing well how hard it is to reach out for help and how it's even harder to open up and actually talk about it. he isn't the best at comforting but he's is a damn good listener and he'll let you know that if you need him don't hesitate to talk to him even if it feels useless. will crack those stupid jokes of his to make you feel better lol tbh i feel like he would be the best kind of person to open up to because he relates so much, he completely understands the feeling of being ashamed of self-destructive activities and would be the sweetest during a relapse. would caress gently the older scars on your body if you allow him to :(<3
he strikes me as a very straightforward person bc of the graves scene. my dude just straight up told the cabrón to stfu (as he should!!) so based on this i think as soon as he sees he's all up in your business. of course not with the intention to make you uncomfortable but he just wants to make sure you're okay and is absolutely willing to help whether it's finding a therapist or just giving a shoulder to lean on. he values every single person in his life and would literally do anything for them and obviously you're no exception. ngl it would be kind of uncomfortable and awkward as you're not used to so much attention especially surrounding your mental health, but he just wants to do good and he's willing to do anything to help and i mean anything. you need a break from work? done. a hug? you don't even have to ask. he will do everything for you if you feel too drained to do even basic things such as cooking meals, helping you shower if you're comfortable with that and etc. basically becomes a househusband for you!
alejandro:
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specialagentlokitty · 17 days
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Rossi x nephew!reader - matchmaker
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What about Rossi's nephew; who's in the military (26-27) comes back from a tour in he middle East and meets up with Rossi at work to surprise him. But when he sees Spencer he is dumbfounded bc he's never like men, so OBVIOUSLY he goes to Rossi and is like "I think I might be gay" (lol) and Rossi is like "omg your here.... Wait huh?" Like Rossi is just trying to process that his nephew isn't dead and came back but now he has to process that his nephew now thinks he's a little gay.... 👀👀👀 - @azeal-peal 💜
You hadn’t been back long, you hadn’t bothered going back to change or shower, you knew your uncle had security set up at his house.
If you wanted to surprise him then they would defeat the whole purpose.
So, instead you went to his place of work, getting a visitors badge so you could head up.
Thankfully you had been there before, they knew who you were so they didn’t have to get your uncle to come and get you, or have anybody escort you.
Maybe the uniform you wore helped with that as well.
You stood in the elevator, hands clasped behind your back, waiting for the doors to close, only to hear somebody call for you to hold the doors, so you reached out to stop them from closing.
“Oh thank you! Thank you so much!”
She came running in, and you moved your hand back, giving her a charming smile.
“You’re very welcome, are you alright?”
“Huh? Oh, oh this? Yes! I’m good thank you!”
She set her bags down, giving you the biggest smile you had ever seen and you smiled back at her.
“Are you visiting somebody?”
“That I am, I’m visiting my uncle actually. What about you?”
She laughed a little.
“No, i work here. Penelope Garcia.”
She held her hand out, and you shook her hand.
“(Y/N) (L/N).”
The doors to the elevator opened, and you stood in front of them, letting Garcia have some time to gather her things so she could leave.
Once she was out you stepped out.
“Thank you so much! Have fun with your uncle!”
“Thank you!”
You offered her a half wave, and you made your way through the bullpen, looking around.
It wasn’t hard to spot your uncle, you were raised on hood fashion, and his suits stood out, as well as his hair style.
He was stood with a few other people, you assumed his team.
There was one who caught your eye though, he seemed to glance over but didn’t think much about you being there and looked away.
He looked about your age, maybe a little older, honestly he looked nothing like an FBI agent either, you would expect him to maybe be a therapist or something of the sort.
You would’ve never have guessed FBI if you saw him out in public, and you had to admit he was pretty good looking.
Normally you didn’t look at men that way, you weren’t all that sure you even looked at women that way, but there was something about him.
You snapped out of your daze, watching as his team walked away and you walked over to your uncle, standing next to him.
You turned your attention back to the man that you were looking at.
You were just captivated by him.
You couldn’t deny that you found him attractive, you had thought that about a few guys over the year but you always brushed it off, never thought too much about it.
“I think I might be gay.”
Rossi spun around, staring at you with wide eyes, hand over his gun.
“You’re here?!”
He paused for a second.
“You what?”
You smiled brightly, taking a step so you could crush your uncle into a hug, and he gave you a hug just a tightly.
“When did you get back?” He asked.
You pulled away, pulling your sleeve up so you could check your watch before letting it fall back down.
“About two hours ago, I stopped to get something to eat first because I was dying for some good food.”
Rossi chuckled, nodding his head.
“I don’t blame you one bit kiddo, how are you? Are you hurt?”
“No, no I’m okay. I’m not hurt, a few close calls but that’s war. I’m on leave now for a couple of weeks before I’m needed back.”
He nodded again, pulling out a seat and you sat down, waiting for him to drag another one over.
You ran a hand through your hair, rolling up your sleeves.
“I was hoping maybe I could stay with you?” You grinned a little.
“Of course, you know my door is always open for you. We’re actually having dinner at mine tonight, join us, you could use the break.”
Laughing, you grinned a little.
“Oh I know, I’m exhausted. Honestly if I go to bed I feel like I’m just going to sleep for days.”
Rossi hummed a little bit.
“So, tell me what you can about your deployment.”
This was the protective side of your uncle coming out, he wanted to know exactly what had happened out there because he knew how hard it could be.
And it wasn’t your first time being deployed, but he would rather share in your pain and sadness than have you go through it all alone.
You glanced around at the few curious eyes looking at you.
“Can we maybe discuss it somewhere privet?”
“Come on, we’ll go to my office.”
You put your chair back, picking up your bag as you followed him up the stairs and into his office.
You spent a while in there just talking to him, sharing with him what you were allowed to, nothing about the missions you did, or some of the things you had to do, which he understood.
But everything else you were able to share with him, from normal day to day life, that time you fell asleep in the sun and badly burnt your back, the daft little game you and your squad came up with.
You told him all about those.
“I see you made the most of it.”
“You’ve got to right? Anything to keep spirits up?”
Rossi hummed, nodding his head.
“Well, how about we get some lunch, I’ll take you home you can get some rest, I’ll wake you up when dinner is ready.”
“That sounds like the life.”
Rossi chuckled, picking up your bag for you and let you leave his office first.
“Let me talk to Aaron, wait here for me.”
You nodded, letting him leave your bag for you.
Leaning on the railing, you looked down at his team again and found your eyes drifting to the same man once more.
You just stood there looking at him, and finally he looked up so you offered him a little grin and a salute.
He blinked, and offered you a confused wave which made you laugh a little, grinning slightly more.
You heard a door open, and you glanced to your side, getting up to follow your uncle who had once again taken your bag.
“I’d like you to quickly meet everybody.”
There was a round of quick introductions before you headed for the lift.
“So, Reid huh?
“Oh my god Dave don’t.”
He smirked a little.
“Come on, boy wonder isn’t that bad. Smart, polite. Can’t go wrong.”
“I’m not having this conversation.”
You stepped into the elevator, trying to close the doors on your uncle but it didn’t work.
“Hey, I’m not saying anything.”
“Uh huh.”
It went quiet for a second.
“He’s going to be at the dinner.”
“Oh my god…”
You ran a hand down your face, and you tried to hide your laughter.
You weren’t sure if what you were feeling was real or not, but the sound of Reid being at that dinner did sound fun, maybe it would encourage you a little more to go.
Just to be friends with them all, nothing more, you had to remind yourself of that.
Just to make friends with them all and finally get to know them, and maybe sneak a few more glances at Reid while you were at it
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chronicbeans · 1 year
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Hi! Since I saw the illustrator wally series I've been exited to request this, it was also sad to see how nobody has yet come with this idea or at least I haven't seen anyone else bring this up so here I come!
It will be interesting how It would work a relationship between Human wally and reader who has maladaptive daydreaming along with autism, I thought of how would it be to meet someone who has to experience something familiar with you. ( since maladaptive daydreaming can be described as a variant of schizophrenia with some small differences ) anyways, I'm a desperate for representation-
ET TU, BRUTE? Omg I maladaptive daydream too (if I am reading it right and you mean to say that you do IT-). My therapist says that I am like, addicted to it lol. My family counselor also likened my case more towards depersonalization/dissociation/a variant of DID due to me only daydreaming myself as other people. This is actually the first time I have heard of it being described as a variant of schizophrenia, but it actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it! I need more representation too, so let's do this! I'll try to make it as broad as possible, because everyone daydreams about different things!
Illustrator Wally with an Autistic Reader who Maladaptive Daydreams:
TW: Mentions of Hallucinations, Maladaptive Daydreaming
🖍️ He is a bit confused when he sees you pacing around your living room. He is visiting, and decided to try to surprise you by sneaking up behind you and giving you a gift! Now, though, he is a bit enamored by how you are prancing around, muttering little things to yourself as you seem so carefree and happy in your little world. This is the first time he has seen you like this.
🖍️ You finally end up turning around, in his direction, and your face grows a bit pale from shock and embarrassment. "Uh... Hello... I'm so glad you came to visit!" You try to play it off, but he is too intrigued. Maybe you are like him, and hallucinate, too?
🖍️ You explain what you were doing. You daydream... WAY more often than other people! Intense worldbuilding, character arcs, and more all take place in your head the majority of the day. You like to prance or pace, finding it helpful to feel more comfortable. You also tend to stim in other ways if you cannot pace or prance. The odd facial expressions and mutterings were just you getting in character and reacting to what was happening in your daydreams.
🖍️ Wally is intrigued. It is so... similar, but different, from him. Both you and him are autistic, yes. He's known that for a while, since you told him around the second or third meeting between you two. THIS, though, is so amazing to him. He wants to know more about the stories in your head!
🖍️What do they consist of? Are they horror? Romance? Action? Comedy? He wishes to know. Are you in them? Do you play someone else? Is it from a third person perspective, watching over your creations? If it is something child friendly, maybe you can write a book and he can illustrate it!
🖍️ Even if it is something more... dark, disturbing, overall NOT a kid friendly topic... he would still want to draw it! Maybe he can start to expand his illustrations into more adult books. He is shockingly good at drawing horror, you know. Some of his vent art is a really disturbing treat to view.
🖍️ You might get onto the topic of how both of your conditions are similar and different. You have a lot of characters floating around in your head. Different worlds, stories, everything! Wally does have, in a way, characters, too! The little voices in his head count, right? Sometimes the same one will pop up every now and again. Both of your conditions seem, in a way, uncontrolled. Due to Wally preferring to not use medications, he simply lives with the voices and hallucinations, going to therapy to help him cope and learn to live with it. You just go with the flow, in a way. As far as you've heard, the best and only way to help deal with it is therapy. No real medication or anything.
🖍️ You both are finally happy to find someone similar to yourselves. The best part is that it is similar enough to be familiar, but different enough to have such interesting conversations!
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Can you tell us how your boys feel about kids.
I saw that blue doesn’t like children so I got curious.
Undertale Sans - He's not very expressive so it's hard to know, but he likes kid a hell lot. They're funny, gullible and they somehow takes everything he's saying for true which leads to the best laughs of his life. He's a bit nostalgic too of the time it was just him and Papyrus.
Undertale Papyrus - He loves kids, but it's not difficult because he loves everyone. But his kid especially. He's going to make sure they never miss anything to the point he can get a bit protective and it's certainly not an unhealthy way to cope with how painful his childhood was in the streets :D
Underswap Sans - Oh god, please no. Children make him so nervous. He's very uncomfortable around them, and he usually lets S/O take care of them if he has some one day. He is full of insecurities, way more than he thinks, and the fact his brother almost died from starvation when they were younger probably is the cause of that. He prefers to stay away.
Underswap Papyrus - He loves children, he wants children. He's one of the best dad to have, very loving and attentive, and he's working hard on his insecurities with children, to the point they completely disappear sometimes. He's just dad material.
Underfell Sans - He's a great dad, he just doesn't know it... Red spends more time thinking he will be a horrible dad and not enough realizing all the kids in the neighborhood likes him and sees him as a sort of father figure. If he ever has a child, that will be the revelation of the century for him lol.
Underfell Papyrus - He loves children but he's way too protective so when the kids reach the teenage era, he might struggle a lot with this. He wants all his kids safe and it's a bit obsessional. Other than that, he's a great dad. A little strict, but patient. He explains things very well to kids too.
Horrortale Sans - He loves kids but kids don't love him all the time :( He's always sad when he accidentally makes a child cry in the street because he's big and scary. He's nothing but a huge teddy bear with his own kid, with a bit of feral paternity lol. He's very nice, but threat his kids and suddenly you might die lol.
Horrortale Papyrus - He loves children, but it's hard to keep up with their energy. He has too many health problems to raise kids, or that's what he tells himself because he has no self-confidence. He's a gentle giant. He's lecturing kids a lot though. He's definitely a dad-strict-mom deep inside.
Swapfell Sans - See that squirrel girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? That's his kid. Nox has a dad girl who always comes looking for him when she has any problem and he will say yes to any of her temper tantrums because that's his little princess. That's his baby girl and he will fight anything trying to take her from him with his fists lol.
Swapfell Papyrus - He's that Dad who doesn't seem to really care about anything, but it's actually not the case. He likes when kids learn things by themselves, so yeah, the kid is going to get hurt, a lot. But they will draw on all his bones too, cooking explosive cakes, paints the walls of the house... Rus is a fun dad.
Fellswap Gold Sans - Uh, no thanks. Kids make him too anxious. He's struggling with Coffee already, he doesn't need more people he needs to watch over obsessionally, thanks. Or he could take the opportunity to, you know, see a therapist about this. But, uh, not today.
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's going to give his anxiety to his kids lol. They all have a very strong bond when they are together. However, if one of them is missing, everyone is panicking, father including, and it turns terribly wrong. Every time. That's going to be complicated lol.
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mayflowers515 · 26 days
Text
Smiling Critters: Non Lore-Heavy Headcanons!
This is just what I personally think they'd be like in my AU, if you guys have different interpretations, that's fine!
(I could also do scenarios based on the headcanons too if you guys wish! )
Reference post for characters if needed: https://www.tumblr.com/mayflowers515/743811211445010432/smiling-critters-in-gacha-life-2?source=share
Kickin would 100% call his friends a specific nickname. It's his way of approving that they're cool to him. He barely calls them by their actual name unless the situation is serious. Here is what he'd call everyone:
Bubba = Nerd (in the most affectionate way possible here); Can also imagine Kickin calling him sir or mister sometimes
Bobby = Beary or BB (may or may not be based off of content I've seen with these nicknames for her-)
Hoppy = Hopscotch (calls her by last name because he thinks it's cool already; Hoppy would use that logic against him and call him Chicken occasionally); He also likes to call her Hops for short
CatNap = Sleepyhead, Sleeping Beauty
DogDay = Mr. Brightside, DD
Crafty = Princess (that would probably freak Crafty out since she thinks he knows of her status; in reality, he calls her this because of her vibes, especially after a certain scenario I have planned for her)
Picky = Piggy (doesn't really have any other idea for a nickname, but he wants to come up with one that sounds "more cool"; tried this by calling her PP, but didn't realize how bad it was until the first and only time he used it for her)
Kickin would call himself KC, since y'know, he wants everyone to know he's cool, too! (credits to mr. story for the idea)
2. Crafty has a very good singing voice. She doesn't show it off for a couple reasons though:
Because she's a little shy about showing it off in the first place
Doesn't want to overpower her friends if they sing together
She's worried her friends will find a way to link her voice to her background (will discuss more in a future post)
(Based off a voice canon video I saw for her where her singing voice was based off of Fluttershy's from "Filli Vanilli")
3. When Picky isn't cooking or eating, she likes to dance and tend to her personal garden. It's filled with fresh fruits and vegetables, but she also has some flowers and shrubs, too! She likes to use products from her garden for her cooking sometimes.
4. CatNap's house smells like all kinds of specific essential oils. He is the one who uses them the most of the Critters, which helps set the atmosphere for his calming home.
5. I already mentioned before that Crafty can never keep her clothes clean for the whole day. But she really likes her overall dresses, so she keeps a lot of the same ones just in case one of them gets too messy.
6. Kickin is great with comebacks and wordplay. Even in the toughest of situations, he usually pieces together slick phrases. The only exceptions are if he were to start like-liking someone or if he had an idol he admired. He'd get more nervous and fumble his words by that point.
7. Here is what I like to think the Critters want to be when they become adults (they're still children in this AU):
CatNap (counselor; something to do with aromatherapy too most likely)
DogDay (doesn't know; he hasn't thought about it)
Bobby (nurse or maybe a therapist)
Crafty (artist of course; may be more inclined to be a painter)
Kickin (journalist or reporter?; I can see him commentating on things like sports and current events lol)
Hoppy (soccer player or coach)
Bubba (professor, but not sure of which subject rn)
Picky (chef, no surprise there. She wishes to run her own restaurant someday)
8. Inspired by some comics, but CatNap's tail can extend to really long lengths. His friends use this as an advantage to drag him along or hold onto him when he's not aware of his surroundings or he's asleep. His tail can only extend to so long though (maybe four-five feet?) so eventually it can get pulled. He doesn't like that. His friends realize this the hard way, and from that point forward, they tend to drag him along their adventures in a wagon. Typically DogDay is the one to watch over the wagon.
9. In contrast to CatNap, DogDay is much more nervous during the nighttime. He tries to hide this to not worry his friends, but they can usually see through him. He doesn't exactly get the best sleep all the time, yet he still manages to operate smoothly for his friends (maybe through coffee? I can see him drinking that-)
10. Possible fears of all the Critters
Bobby (being alone and abandoned, canon; can also see her fearing bugs too, but she can't bring herself to kill them since she loves and values all life regardless)
Picky (sickness, a part of this plays into her need to stick to a healthy lifestyle, and she stresses out whenever she feels she made too many unhealthy choices; she also hates being sick because then she can't provide for her friends)
Kickin (sudden noise and heights; he would try to hide this to keep his cool image, so he brushes off his fears so others can't see it from the outside. However, on the inside and sometimes more obviously the outside, he is TERRIFIED)
Bubba (failing his friends and leading them down the wrong direction; tries to prevent this from happening by being as well-informed on as many topics as he can think)
DogDay (the dark; he always needs a nightlight in his room so he can go to sleep better)
CatNap (his second scent; more elaboration on that sometime soon but if you know what I'm referring to, you know...; can also seem him fearing water a little since y'know, cat behavior-)
Hoppy (needles; I just don't see her holding up well at the doctor's personally-)
Crafty (public audience; she can only handle so many people watching her at once until she feels she needs to get out)
11. People would expect Bubba and Crafty to constantly be at odds due to their different thinking approaches (left brain + right brain), but they actually get along quite well! They may have a couple disagreements, but otherwise they are usually open to what the other is saying. Basically, an "I want what you have" kind of situation but downplayed. Mainly since Bubba isn't as good with thinking outside of the box meanwhile Crafty isn't the most book smart. They would bounce off each other well. They would work well together when it comes to devising plans with their friends. Bubba would explain the plan while Crafty sketches the plan's details.
12. Crafty can draw at fast speeds, but she can't draw anything super detailed. Still, she is surprised herself that it doesn't look too bad when she rushed it.
13. Speaking of speed, Hoppy can, in addition to moving fast, speak fast and somehow still remember what she says. When others don't process what she says, she would be a bit more annoyed and say it slower. She doesn't speak fast often, only in situations where she is really enthusiastic or she's in a panic.
14. In terms of their more animal-like qualities, DogDay is the most expressive of the Critters. He wags his tail and raises his ears a lot depending on the circumstance.
15. Bobby can have very bad anxiety in stressful situations. Worse case scenario, she may even just ball up and become unresponsive to stimuli.
16. PB&Js are still Picky's favorite food, but she eats them in moderation when she's felt good on what she ate for the rest of the day. She will refuse to eat them when she's stressed or if she gets sick. She gets like this with any unhealthy food in general actually, just more inclined to do it with PB&Js.
17. (Based on that road trip image of them) They're all kids, but in their world, they're able to drive. Still, there are some Critters you should trust behind the wheel more than others:
Bubba (not only would he be safe on the road, but his great memory basically makes him a walking GPS, assuring an instant trip to their destination without getting lost; despite this, it's usually #2 who drives more because he's usually tasked as the voice of reason to make sure no one riots while someone is behind the wheel; he also slightly manages his memory better when he isn't multitasking)
DogDay (is usually the one that drives everyone when they're out on road trips. He is generally very calm behind the wheel and will encourage others on the way to wherever they're going, so he's also considered fun to have as the driver by his friends)
Picky and Bobby (tied; both would do just fine behind the wheel and would both be careful of the cars around them and the passengers in the car; would give Picky the edge here though since she doesn't have to raise her seat as much just to drive compared to Bobby)
Kickin (would care more about looking cool on the road than actually driving well. When he isn't focused on his ego, he doesn't drive too badly. He may have a slight bit of road rage, though)
CatNap (he would be better during night time trips as he is more active then, but even then it wouldn't happen often since driving can get stressful. Also, at any other time besides night, he runs the risk of sleeping on the spot even while driving, so no, please don't let him drive…) (ngl, him and #7 could be interchangeable here; both have drawbacks whenever they're behind the wheel-)
Crafty (she's pretty mediocre when it comes to driving. Her mind usually spirals in a panic whenever she's behind the wheel, and she'd focus more on the panic of driving at all than actually driving, so for her sanity, don't let her drive...)
Hoppy (never, EVER have her behind the wheel. The car will crash and burn in seconds... She can get really impulsive when it comes to driving and I can imagine her having some bad road rage; the Critters let her drive once after she pleaded with them so many times; probably in a situation where for some reason DogDay and/or Bubba couldn't do it. She led them in a ditch, crashing into someone's party down below, unintentionally of course. Everyone was okay, but they never let her drive again after that)
18. In addition to wanting to be the cool friend, I can also imagine Kickin wanting to joke around and make his friends laugh from time to time. He also pulls harmless pranks sometimes (sometimes he is unaware how his pranks potentially hurt others until it's too late though-)
19. Bobby has a really big sweet tooth. Especially when it comes to chocolate. Also, if anyone were to give her a chocolate heart, she would melt in their arms on the spot (doesn't matter if the intention is platonic or romantic, she just loves receiving chocolates, especially the hearts)
20. Hoppy would have the most game equipment of her friends. She has equipment that ranges across all kinds of sports as well as other physical activities.
21. If Crafty was given sidewalk chalk and there was pavement outside of her friends' houses (though I don't think this is the case in canon sadly), she would use it to draw something outside her friends' houses as a way to show appreciation.
22. Bubba would have his own mini library inside his house will all different genres of books. The books of this library are books he collected that were from his family's or from what he found when they were out and about. He occasionally lets his friends borrow books from him if they need to.
23. The Critters are vegan. Things like burgers and milk come from other sources for them. So no worries, in this version, the burger Picky was about to eat in the intro was sourced from plants (she wouldn't actually eat animals... right? *cough cough* canon version... *cough)
24. CatNap would be the best at telling spooky stories. He already has a naturally quiet voice. All he'd need to do to make it sound more spoopy for his friends is give it a creepy tone, and already that makes him a good scary storyteller...
25. DogDay doesn't really make his own food often, but he actually does like baking more than people give him credit for. His favorite thing to bake is cookies (especially ones that look like dog treats!)
26. This meme explained for Critters:
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"We have food at home" - Bubba, Picky
"MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" - Hoppy, DogDay, Kickin, Bobby
In between these two sections: Crafty (depends on her mood)
*Pulls into the drive through as children cheer* *Orders a single black coffee and leaves* - CatNap (not meaning to be rude, but just doesn't want to put up with ordering for everyone so he orders for him; he's too tired for that ok?*
27. CatNap has the worst reaction time and is the most clumsy of the Critters. It's literally canon that the guy trips on his own tail. That HAS to be a thing here. It just has to.
28. This may come as a surprise, but CatNap actually does like drinking coffee, except he mainly has it at nighttime so he can stay up and help people in need of assistance at nighttime; he puts a lot of creamer and milk in his coffee, though- He doesn't like black cofffee (I imagine in the McDonalds meme he takes the coffee home with him and prepares it with his usual creamer and milk)
Welp, this is pretty long and scrambled. Sorry if some characters have more headcanons than others. If I think of other hcs I can update this! I do actually have more I'd like to share sometime, but the ones I'm thinking about are more lore-heavy for the characters so I'll put that in a separate post :)
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Could I request platonic Nikto, Horangi, Velikan and Krueger headcannons of them meeting a gn child reader with sociopathic tendencies?
Such as lack of human emotion/empathy, not caring about right and wrong, doesn't see people as humans and as a bonus has a strange fascination with death and psychology? I'm curious to see what they'd think and whether they'd be unsettled if they realise they could potentially be meeting a future serial killer
a/n: hey sorry this took so long! I got busy doing base stuff for my band lol, hope this reads okay!
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Horangi:
-he’s worried or say the least, since he was the one put in charge of you till kortac could find a place to send you
-ended up finding out when he was watching you manipulate the soldiers around you into giving you things or always sneaking off to peak into the windows of the rooms they kept captives in for info
-tries to search ways to avoid the subject and be just in bliss but ends up researching it
-Adopts you after a while, getting you multiple therapists and such to try to understand you and to help you
nikto:
(note: I’m using singular pronouns for nikto just because it’s easier on my tired brain)
-he truly doesn’t find it as odd as the others, even having some of those tendencies himself
-more interested on how you process them then actually worried, until someone pointed out how it might land you in the army like he is
-got you therapy eventually, with a lot of debate on if he should
-didn’t adopt you because he’s not the most stable, checks up on you when he’s off duty though
Krueger:
-like nikto, he had some tendencies like that while growing up. But he noticed yours were much more severe then his once he saw exactly how little Empathy you had- laughing at hurt soldiers, touching dead bodies, etc-
-really worried about it in actuality, he didn’t want to be responsible for a kid but knew it would end worse if you got put with someone else
-attempts to talk to you about it, not getting major therapy or doctors involved but gets you a therapist just to check up that your not totally insane
-less worried about what you could do to others and more worried about you
Velikan:
-noticed it as soon as he met you, the way your eyes lit up at the bloodied knifes in the armory getting cleaned or the way you stared and poked at any dead thing you came across
-keeps it very private, glaring at anyone who tries to mention it publicly since he doesn’t need his or your mentality being questioned
-gets you a private therapist and adopts you, having a private nanny watch over you when he’s out on mission (one that he trusts of course)
-worried about what you could do to yourself and others, but secretly hopes you’ll grow up normal enough to live a decent life
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waitmyturtles · 11 months
Text
SPOILERS AND ANALYSIS FOR THE EIGHTH SENSE, EPISODES 9 and 10. TURN AWAY IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET! LONG POST!
MY HEART. IS. SO. FULL. 
Episode 9 almost (ALMOST!) reached Bad-Buddy-episode-10-level for me. That was a hell of an episode. 
And I am so thrilled, SO FREAKING THRILLED, to have been proven wrong about my theories as to whether or not episode 6 was “real” to the series. It was very real, and clearly so meaningful and contributive to Jae Won (as well, of course, to Ji Hyun), that... it sent Jae Won running, literally.
One more passing thought before I dig into the meal: 
I haven’t dug into this at ALL yet, but I think there might purposefully be a lot of similarities between The Eighth Sense and Where Your Eyes Linger, which (I think this is accurate, but PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong) was one of the first non-Strongberry Big KBLs to come out. I went back to Viki to make sure to confirm this, but Jung Seo In -- the restaurant ahjumma and Ji Hyun’s boss in T8S -- also plays a restaurant proprietor in Where Your Eyes Linger, and actually asks Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook “who’s top and who’s bottom” when she first meets them in WYEL (a little squick but she made it cute for that time). The promo picture for WYEL on Viki is of the two leads lying on the floor with their heads touching.... a different orientation, but a lot of the same feeling, as the opening of episode 10 of T8S. And, finally: Han Tae Joo of WYEL and Jae Won of T8S are both “the chairman’s son.” They are both sons in need of care.
That’s enough for a comparison for now to WYEL, because I haven’t spent enough time digging into it, but I’ll return to Ji Hyun’s ahjumma in a second, because she’s a badassssssss. Anyway:
Episode 9: What can I say. As with Bad Buddy episode 10, I’m struggling to get words down. I love a ride to a gorgeous union. 
And Jae Won, HONEY, Y’ALL TOOK ME ON A HELL OF A RIDE. DUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEE. DUDE. I wanna be friends with you!
We learned some things. Ji Hyun brings light into Jae Won’s life. When we saw Jae Won with Eun Ji -- it was always in darkness (except for surf club earlier in the series, but Ji Hyun was there with Jae Won). jae Won eats with Eun Ji in a pojangmacha at night. He sits with Eun Ji in a dark library. He walks with Eun Ji on dark streets. She tries to kiss him in the nighttime. 
Ji Hyun sees that -- and something twists inside of Jae Won.
Then we get Jae Won and Eun Ji in the dark library. And, JEEEEZUS. WHOA! UM! I. did. not. expect. the. long. game. to. be. played. LIKE. THAT.
Motherfucker played a LONG-ASS, I’M A NAVY VETERAN, I CHASED AFTER YOU, I SAW YOU WITH ANOTHER GUY, I WAITED FOR YOU, I WAITED UNTIL MORNING, I SAW YOU WERE STILL WITH HIM, I SAW YOU WALKING OUT OF THE MOTEL WITH HIM, I SAW THAT, I CAME BACK, YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY FEAR ABOUT JI HYUN AND THE ACCIDENT, AND I REVENGE-DATED YOU, KINDA GAME, HEADSHAKE, SHRUG, I’M LOOKING AT MY NAILS, PSH.
BRO. WHAT. THE. EFF. 
I want a Cardi B song about this shit. Dude, you played that better than ANY female character in a K-drama that I have EVER seen, my man! You actually WENT AND DATED HER, LIKE KINDA LITERALLY-BUT-MAYBE-YOUR-HEART-WASN’T-ACTUALLY-INTO-IT-SO-MAYBE-IT-WAS-FOR-THE-ASSIGNMENT-DEALIE??? Good lord. 
Like, can that become a K-drama/KBL trope? Hot DAMN. ANYWAY. (Actually, one more reference to this for episode 10, but enough of the all caps, ha.)
You know what that means, right? While all that was going on, Jae Won’s heart WASN’T with Eun Ji. He was processing his stuff with Ji Hyun on his own, and with his therapist (once more, lol, @emotionallychargedtowel, take me to your analysis! I gotta know what you thought about the therapist calling Jae Won selfish!). 
Jae Won said it himself. He’s rooted in depression. He’s rooted in guilt about his brother’s death. He’s rooted in guilt over Ji Hyun’s accident. I will posit that episode 6 still felt like a “dream,” likely because of meds, likely because of Jae Won’s headstate. It was a “real” moment for the series but for where Jae Won’s head was at, he was likely battling a depressive episode with the continued, chronic guilt of his life. So things seemed fuzzy and jumpy -- because they were fuzzy and jumpy for Jae Won. 
(Whenever I try to describe these states to people, I try to think of relative moments... like being at work with four hours of sleep. Driving while your contact lens has something in it. You’re fuzzily in and out of reality. Jae Won’s depression is deeper than that. But I try to relate to it somehow with those metaphors.)
So the therapist does her own thing by calling Jae Won “selfish” for rooting in his pain. How we choose to judge her behavior is whatever -- it still gives me the jibbles, and I lean towards the utterly wonderful @emotionallychargedtowel for better analysis about therapy than me.
But, as we very clearly saw -- Jae Won’s breakthrough came through the restaurant ahjumma. Remember: she represents a break from tradition, as I said last week. She’s done with the bullshit of living by the rules of others.
She sees university students in and out, everyday, eating samgyupsal and drinking their sorrows away. She sees former students coming back to say hi. 
She’s been around the block, and has seen people get around the block themselves. She knows the advice that she’s giving to Jae Won. Unlike the therapist, she’s not gonna make Jae Won feel bad about himself. She’s just going to feed him and HELP HIM.
LET GO OF IT ALL, HONEY. GO AND GET YOUR MAN. 
And Jae Won finally let go. He went to the water. He took us with him to a flashback to the sea, to the light, where he’s the happiest. He took us to where he’s the freest that he can be.
And Ji Hyun called him back to Ji Hyun’s side. Called Jae Won back through music, and Jae Won heard him, and ran to Ji Hyun, and they embraced -- and it was perfect. 
I’m gonna be that auntie when I grow up.
Episode 10: There are a couple of side discussions with friends that I want to refer to, but let me say first that I have zero issues with this light, lovely conclusion. I am a SLAVE for K-drama tropes, and I didn’t mind that this episode had a few. This series did so beautifully to NOT hew to tropes, and to create a new paradigm of filmmaking in KBLs, that I was TOTALLY FINE with seeing some sweet tropey behavior -- the drinking, the partying, the dancing, the dance music. The love games. The heads leaning on shoulders. Coffees in cans. Let me give you my jacket. 
Friends @shortpplfedup and @lurkingshan and @wen-kexing-apologist: I’m okay with the forgiveness to Tae Hyung and Eun Ji. Because. 
I think Jae Won’s being a little shady, come awn. I think he popped his umbrella open. Just a little. Ji Hyun ADMITTED to being sassy, but I think Jae Won knew he was being just a little bitty-bit shady, and I’m gonna let the man have his. He’s a game-player. 
Eun Ji HAD TO ADMIT that she got her ass handed to her. And Ji Hyun and Jae Won both knew she’d have a hard time, internally. I’m fine with her being calm about it. She knew she fucked up the game, hard, when she got her ass caught cheating. We know she’s lame, she knows she’s lame, let’s live and move on.
I thought Jae Won’s read on Tae Hyung was great. Tae Hyung IS someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, however misguided it is. Humans are not perfect. Jae Won wants to be with honest people. (That’s why he dumped Eun Ji’s ass and handed her the receipts. He can forgive her, but he certainly AIN’T going out with her again.)
As Bed Friend ended with happy moment after happy moment -- I believe the filmmakers knew exactly what they were giving us with this finale. How we came to SUCH a happy ending just boggles me, but it was a loving and a sweet one. GO YOON WON AND JOON PYO. COME AWN. GO GO GO. (And go Bit Na! Reject that motherfucker. AND AE RI! GURL! I’m gonna miss you, nothing slides by you.)
And I want to refer back to something about the therapist conversation in episode 9 that got concluded in episode 10. I think it’s really important to note that BOTH Ji Hyun AND Jae Won took care OF EACH OTHER in these last two episodes.
Jae Won was rotting in guilt over not being able to TAKE CARE OF JI HYUN during the accident. Jae Won arguably got Ji Hyun in trouble. 
Ji Hyun, upon his recovery, TAKES CARE OF Jae Won. Ji Hyun handled the disciplinary committee. He gives Jae Won a disposable camera and encourages Jae Won’s photography. He continues to send Jae Won text messages, songs. Sending messages of hope and light and love. I’m still here, Jae Won, I haven’t left. Jae Won’s brother might not be here. Ji Hyun never left. 
What shocked Jae Won out of his stasis was the ahjumma’s words. I think Jae Won realized at that moment that -- AS AHJUMMA WAS SAYING ALL ALONG -- THAT JAE WON WAS OVERTHINKING THINGS. Once Jae Won could 
SEE. THE. LIGHT.
he was able to take off, and finally go back to Ji Hyun, in whole. 
(I think we know why the therapist’s office was dark. Jae Won couldn’t see the light in there. 
His light comes from Ji Hyun and the water.)
It’s a rarity, but I’m putting this on my short MUST WATCH list. This BLEW away any filmmaking expectations I previously had about KBLs. This was SINGULAR, groundbreaking, the actors ATE their roles, ATE THEM -- and it was utterly fulfilling.
PHENOMENAL SHOW. I’m going to miss this one TREMENDOUSLY. 
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twinkodium · 5 months
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okay i just have so many thoughts about this and i need to share…..
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1. the thumb… the hand… looking extra good today…. looks a lot like he wants me to suck on it but that might just be me 😶
2. grrrr the neck is making me go insane, i want it i need it !!!! kind sir will you please let me bite?
3. i read what you said about wrapping his arms around you and i just 😩 like i have thought a lot about liam hugging me and his arms being so hard and muscular that it’s not like a soft hug, but there’s something like possessive about it? strong arms wrapping around my neck and pulling me into his chest as he rests his head on top of mine (not that he’s tall enough to do that- anYWAY) 🥺 and now i got the exact same thought about oscar bcs he’s BUFF buff!! strong big biceps wrapping around me and just 😭 so cozy
4. i cut it out bcs i wanted just the body LOL but the smile 🥺 sweetheart 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and the hair… the little lock and just- pls 😭😭
5. i know you’ve spoken about nipples so ofc i had to think about it when i saw this… i see at least one….. 🤭🤭🤭
i think i’m done for now 😁😁 hope you have a good day lola!! 💘
Pls do babe, I’m here for all of your thoughts 👀
1. Not just today 😭😭😭 must be the white shirt actually, yk how we both went crazy over the cricket pics 😳😳 but omg yes, I’d even suck on it if he didn’t ask 😌 just gimme a change to prove that ���
2. Vampire instinct comes out to play whenever I see his neck. Just want to sink my teeth in his pale perfect skin to leave marks 😩 the imprint of my teeth, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin 🤯🤯🤯 licking all the hickeys right after 😭😭
3. We’ve talked about hugs from Liam, how his muscular arms would feel like an armour around you, protecting you from everything awful going around in the world, while whispering into your ear and yes, resting his head on yours 🫠🫠🫠 (he’s not tall but he’s still taller than me so 🤷🏻‍♀️). FUCK I KNOW!!! Since Qatar I can’t stop thinking about how big he got!!! Like so much bigger chest and arms, even his neck seems thicker 😭😭😭 and I just can’t… deal! Pls he’s be the softest little kitten ever when it comes to cuddles just his strong body against your smaller frame 😩😩😩 HEAVEN
4. THAT SMILE IS ABLE TO CURE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS 😩😩😩 exactly what my therapist (I don’t have one) wrote on my prescription 🤯🤯 THE BEST THING IS… no overdose, impossible 😌😌😌 THE HAIR SO LONG, IM GOING TO FIGHT ANYONE WHO GOES NEAR HIM WITH A SCISSOR 🔪🔪
5. I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE, helloooo??? HOLY SHIT THANKS JACKIE 🥹🥹🥹🥹 not I’m certain this is my new fave pic 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
Hope you had a nice day 🥰 mine was decent, day off tomorrow so I can enjoy the content without being stressed about work 🫶🏼🫶🏼
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brightlotusmoon · 6 months
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Hey there, big fan of you and your fanfiction and I just need to get this out and “vent” about this to someone, and I feel like you may be the only one to understand and validate this opinion lol.
In the tmnt 2003 series it just ANNOYS ME so much on an unreal level how Mikey gets treated by the show writers. One that really annoys me is just SAINW and the good genes arc. Good genes for obvious reasons, we were robbed basically of that whole thing by them changing Donnie to be mutated instead of Mikey, but I never saw anyone mention SAINW’s potential before.
I CONSTANTLY see the statement “Mikey adds nothing to the team” and its just because THEY NEVER SHOW IT!! THATS WHY!! His role is supposed to be the heart and the glue that keeps the team together. The one that brings light in their dark ass lives. They had the perfect opportunity to do this in either good genes or SAINW and they blew it. Everyone knows Donnie has a role to play, so why not let Mikey be teleported to that future instead and have him be the one out of time. It just makes so much more sense to have that, to actually SHOW people the role he plays in the team and family. He could still even be a badass in that episode if they wanted, but just let him and his audience have that moment of realization in his importance. It could have worked for Good Genes too!! I just dont get why they barely let Mikey do shit or have any angst moments when others get plenty of it. And yea I know Laird was in control of the whole thing and Don was his favorite so that obviously means angst nepotism but still. Its just frustrating to see how people wont look at the bigger picture to see how important he really is. Its just UGRHHHH!!! Its even worse that 2003 is most peoples goto for the franchise whenever 2003 themselves rarely did Mikey any justice!! Its like I have to resort to fanfiction instead of canon because they actually just GET IT more than the writers do. Like I feel like Im going insane on this topic to the point Im ranting to my therapist about it because of my ocd compulsions and reassurance seeking includes this shit.
Im really hoping mutant mayhem will be different since Seth Rogen’s favorite is Mikey, so hopefully he will actually do him justice; with his works being Invincible and The Boys, im having high hopes for the writing capabilities of him. Here is to hoping if that it is the case then MM becomes the status quo.
Sorry for the rant, this has been on my mind for fucking ages and I feel you might be the only other one that I can say this to lol.
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Awww, you remind me a little of me back in 2016 when I started this Tumblr as a literal storage place for ideas on exploring Mikey's psychology.
We DO have to resort to fanfiction! It's actually been that way since the late 90s. Uh. I helped start it. Got diagnosed with ADHD, looked at 2003 Mikey, went "guys hear me out" later got diagnosed autistic with the help of the people who coined neurodivergence, looked at 2003 Mikey and his brothers again, went "Sure, it's all of them!" and sat on it for years before writing it here.
In that time, there cropped up some writers who just really preferred to play with his silly side more than the rest of him, especially after 2012. I think we're going to cycle around to more 03 fanfiction pointing out Mikey's unspoken skills beyond mouthy, crafty, irritating, or weird.
That reminds me, I have a chapter to write from Leo's viewpoint on that.
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likegoldintheair · 2 months
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Hey! Promise I’m not coming into your ask box to cause trouble, I just saw your most recent post and that you were wanting to talk about it so I wanted to get your perspective on my thoughts about this s7 spec. It is a lovely thought, Buck getting reassurance from Eddie of his importance in his and Chris’ lives, and I’m not saying it shouldn’t happen (probably will based on the Shoulder pic we saw). However…it’s been done before. What I would find way more interesting than Buck being told he matters again and that being that is Buck actually realizing and believing it, maybe from a call or some other activity. And I’d really like that to be it lol, instead of it being recycled again in a future episode. People like Eddie, Maddie, and even Chris can tell him how much he means to them until the cows come home, but Buck needs to start believing it himself. IRL, ppl get tired of having to repeat themselves to somebody who is chronically insecure but not doing anything to change it (not saying Buck is, but he sure is portrayed that way in fanfiction). So I’m hoping the writers empower Buck to look in the mirror and see himself as the good flawed human he is rather than a massive fuck-up.
(and maybe there are scenes in the future where Buck is reassuring the Diaz boys how important they are to him, and they’re not an inconvenience no matter what’s going on in his life because that would feel realistic too. I know Buck shows them throw his actions, but it would be delicious to see it actually said onscreen)
Anyway, no pressure replying!
hi!
i am completely with you on the whole rehashing the whole eddie/chris/maddie reassuring buck of it all, and how it's been done before (because it has, a lot - like i said in that post, we've seen eddie tell buck this over and over again, but he just doesn't get it). i do think that we will get to see those kind of scenes/moments again though, especially if that one buck and eddie pic is anything to go by.
what i'm hoping for is that this time it'll lead to buck actually, conciously listening and taking in what it means and, y'know, finally stop questioning it or having this underlying fear of being abandoned etc. i don't think any one of those three conversations will magically solve anything for buck (and it's not on maddie, eddie or chris to solve it to begin with, even though their support is important - like you said, buck needs to come to this conclusion himself), but i think, depending on the context, the conversations can work as a final push to have him realize that his place is permanent.
it'll just get old and boring to see him have a breakdown again over the same thing and have eddie tell him again and again that he's important, and then rinse and repeat a few episodes later. he truly needs to sit down and deal with his shit, so to speak. i would love for his therapist to make a comeback, so that he can deal with his fears with professional help. really get to the nitty gritty of it all. that'd be 10/10 in my book, tbh.
and yes, fully agree on having buck actually tell both eddie and chris what they mean to him, and what an essential part they are in his life. i think they'd need to hear it, too, even if he does, as you said, show it a lot. just hearing it is nice too, sometimes, y'know.
anyways, hopefully this is somewhat coherent, i'm answering whilst making dinner, so it might be a bit all over the place. but thank you for sending me this!
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