#i think I'm angry today because of period reasons

[keerysfreckles]

Luke x percy’s older sister angst/fluff comfort where her nightmares get really really bad and she hasn’t been able to sleep so she lashes out on everyone and distances herself and her and luke really fight but then he comforts her because reader spilled to annabeth and ofc it’s gonna spread hahahah

bummerland — luke castellan

pairing: luke castellan x fem poseidon!reader

warnings: use of y/n and she/her pronouns, ANGST!!!

a/n: we get the tunnel of love episode tomorrow AND THE PERCABETH HUG SCENE IM TOTALLY NORMAL ABT THIS..

masterlist !

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

y/n jolts awake. beads of sweat dripping off her forehead and cheeks. she's surpsied percy hasn't woken up because of her reaction to her nightmares. turning to her left, she sees percy fast asleep.

half-bloods always had nightmares. some campers had it worse than others. tonight y/n could've sworn she had the worst nightmare any half-blood could have.

the nightmares weren't new to the girl. they just started getting worse ever since she got claimed by her father, which was three weeks ago.

y/n wasn't usually the angered type. in percy's words, "she has her moments", but she never was angry at anyone for long periods of time.

since y/n the only older camper in the poseidon cabin, it automatically made her a camp counselor. which might explain why the campers were confused that she didn't show up during sword lessons today. her, luke and clarisse were supposed to teach them today. luke and clarisse managaed to help all the campers, but having y/n there would've made it a hundred times easier.

no one really questioned it, until y/n didn't show up at lunch or dinner that same day. annabeth asked percy about it at lunch, and he guessed she was taking a nap, which wasn't unusual for his sister.

however when luke asked percy for y/n's whereabouts, he didn't know how to answer the hermes boy. percy hasn't seen y/n all day, which only worried both of them.

the next day passed the same way as yesterday. not one camper saw y/n. this made percy more anxious, as well as annabeth. luke made it his mission to find the missing counselor.

luke checked cabin three, and wasn't surprised to only find two empty beds. he then checked the infirmary, the big house (minus the attic), the climbing wall, and near the lake. he ran his fingers through his hair, sighing once he realized y/n was still missing in the camp.

luke was about to go back to his cabin ans call it a night, until his heard a noise coming from inside the woods. it wasn't any sort of monstrous sound, which was the only reason luke followed the noise without a second thought.

he continued to trek through the woods as the noise became louder. he recognized the path was leading him towards the archery range. he can't believe he didn't check the archery range on his own.

once the trees cleared, he saw an empty range. until his eyes landed on y/n shooting arrows at the overused hay bales. luke caught up to her as she was walking to reclaim her arrows, ready to shoot again.

"y/n, we've all been worried about you. none of the campers said they didn't see you. neither did percy," luke grabs her elbow, stopping her movements.

y/n looks at luke as if he had three heads, all with smoke steaming out of their ears. "what are you doing out here?"

luke's surprised by her tone. it seemed rush and cold. he can't remember if he ever heard y/n talked like that.

"i was looking for you! i was so worried about you."

y/n shakes her arm out of luke's grasp and just continues to collect her arrows. "i'm fine luke, really."

luke scoffs, and follows her as she walks back to her bow at the other end of the range. "you wouldn't be avoiding the whole camp for two days, you think that's fine? that's the opposite of fine y/n!"

y/n doesn't respond. she preoccupied herself with loading her bow with a brown arrow provided by the camp.

"what, now you're going to ignore me?" luke's hands were on his hips, watching angrily as y/n continued to ignore his presence. she shot almost three more arrows before he spoke again.

"annabeth told me about you having nightmares," luke's voice was much more soft, but even more concerned.

"why didn't you tell me?" he sounded hurt.

y/n doesn't look towards luke, she starts fiddling with the bow and arrow in her hand. she shook her head, and luke didn't have to see her face to know her bottom lip was quivering.

"i didn't want to bother anyone. annabeth pushed it out of me, and i guess she told you," y/n responded.

luke grabbed the bow and arrow out of y/n's hand and set them on the ground, before he took both of the girl's shoulders in his hands.

"y/n you have to believe me when i tell you, you're not a bother to me. you're not a bother to anyone at camp, i swear."

y/n shrugs luke's hands off her body, and went back to shooting arrows down the range.

luke let out a sound of anger, mixed with stubbornness. "y/n, can you just come back to the camp so people can stop worrying about you, and we can talk about it?"

luke sighs again since he knew he wasn't getting an answer out of the girl.

"gods, y/n, will you stop and just talk with me?"

y/n could tell luke was getting more and more frustrated. she knew she couldn't ignore him forever. she throws the bow on the ground, and discards her arm protection. the girl was now fully facing luke.

"go ahead, talk."

luke starts to explain again how worried he was, and how worried the campers were that no one knew where she was. no one knew why she disappeared, until luke got the information from annabeth, about y/n's reoccurring nightmares.

"all half-bloods have nightmares y/n, you know we all relate to you about that. so why couldn't you just talk to someone about it instead of vanishing?"

y/n tried to respond. her mouth opened, but nothing came out. it's as if her voice box was completely removed. she looked all around, trying to avoid luke's eye contact. she tried to speak once more, but the same croak-y airy sound came out.

"come here," luke simply said, before pulling y/n's arm. he engulfed her in a hug, and she was quick to respond by wrapping her arms around luke's waist. he whispered comforting words in the air, as he held her head to his sternum. he believed she was the perfect height for hugs.

luke heard small cries coming from the girl in his arms, which soon turned to y/n choking on her own sobs. he was fast at calming her down. he did it plenty of times while she was in hermes' cabin, he practically knew her better than she did.

"are you okay?" luke asked once he heard her cries soften, now she was only sniffling. he felt her nod against his chest, and he started to rock their bodies back and forth gently.

"thank you luke," y/n's quiet, "for calming me down, and for finding me."

"like i said, we were all worried about you," luke responded.

y/n pulled away from the hug, "i guess i should go find percy and tell him i'm alive."

#shelbi writes #keerysfreckles #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x fem reader #luke castellan x fem!reader #pjo #pjo show #pjo series #pjo tv #pjo tv show #percy jackson #percy jackson show #percy jackson series #percy jackson tv show #percy jackson and the olympians

[power-handmaiden]

Day 35: Angry Man Pounded By The Fear Of His Latent Gayness Over A Dinosaur Transitioning Into A Unicorn

I love how much contempt for its characters this tingler starts off with. We have the iconic man/woman couple who are always the subject of conservative boomer humor about relationships, the emotionally unavailable man and his overbearing shrill wife, who don't even like each other, let alone love or show any attraction to each other. It feels like a caricature but it actually makes more sense when the man turns out to not actually be attracted to women, honestly.

This tingler aged... interestingly. The protagonist's crisis of sexuality is brought on by his attraction to Bort Jenkins, a unicorn athlete and reality TV star who was born as a dinosaur and recently transitioned to a unicorn. Clearly a stand-in for Caitlyn Jenner. (If my rudimentary research is correct, Bort's resemblance to her deadname is because this was written in that specific time period where she had come out as trans, but not publicly revealed her name yet.) She's a controversial figure for many reasons that I'm not going to get into now, but this comes from a time when people were pretty much just laser-focused on the trans thing. Bort isn't really a character who does anything in this story anyway, more of a news item for characters to discuss.

Another present day context that really changes how I read this story is the conservative furry panic of the past few years. Yes, the "if people can identify as other genders, what if they start identifying as ANIMALS?" dumbfuck made-up problem is much older, but it's really having a moment now. This story was an absurd concept when it was written but now we have real elected officials in the USA freaking out over the idea of people "identifying as" different species, bringing this story a whole lot closer to realism than anyone would've expected in 2015. To me, the message of this one feels closer to the conservative furry strawman than it does to real trans issues, especially with the whole "you're gay regardless of whether you're into human, unicorn or dinosaur men" thing; we're dealing with an issue of species transition where gender is static. (Truth be told, I don't think it was the best move to make a comparison to a real-life trans woman and make this point in association because I've seen how people misinterpret such things... but I'm sure Tingler readers in particular understand the abstraction and that this isn't applicable directly to the real person) I feel like a version of this story could be written today with the message of "what if the conservative strawman version of the furry fandom was real and not just a way of targeting queer people without saying you're targeting queer people? Would it really be that bad or even different of a world to live in?"

I'm interested to see how Dr. Tingle tackles trans issues in the future. Despite a couple things that read as dated to me I see a good foundation here from someone who is still working through his own feelings about gender identity. I know that future tinglers will have explicitly trans characters and the perspective of a trans author who has explored and introspected on his own gender identity more thoroughly.

(Also there's a tingleverse connection in this one: mention of the "first human player in the UFL" refers to the events of "Pounded By The Gay Unicorn Football Squad")

#chuck tingle #2024 tingles my butt #Every time I bring up Dr. Tingle's trans identity I have a little ??? moment on the pronouns I'm using #If I understood his post on preferred pronouns correctly then he/him is what he prefers still #It just. Feels like I'm doing something wrong when I'm explicitly referring to someone's transfem identity #But that's a me problem.

[old-school-butch]

Thank you for having anon on, you must get a lot of hate, but i'm a hidden recently deprogrammed ex-TIF and i appreciate being able to... confess to being a woman without being hung for it. i know that when i come out with this i will lose most of my friends because my detransition will "invalidate" them all. they will push me out so they can remain "gay men".

i wanted to ask what you think about ex-TIFs? and if you've seen how it plays out when we (re)integrate into womanhood, from the side of women. i've only seen it from the side of TRAs and it's an excommunication and violent rejection. i'm going to lose my community, and i have (since i started looking into it) fully agreed with most radfem core beliefs you see here on tumblr.

i took testosterone for years, but i also stopped in 2019 because it made me so angry. i have no breasts and a deepened voice. i wonder how radfems might see me. will i seem like a returned traitor?

will other women be interested in me still? i'm bisexual, but was pushed to mainly date men as a TIF because those relationships were "gay" and dating women was hetero and "lesser" love. i don't want to center men anymore. but i have no breasts, and i have no woman's voice. do women care? i don't know.

i ask you because you are older and maybe you would know. my best wishes to you. thank you.

I keep anon on for just this reason, because I remember how insane I felt when I found the courage to stop pushing aside those thoughts that, surely, everyone knows we're making all this up and just being nice, right?

It's an unfortunate part of human nature that it's easier to con someone than persuade them they've been conned. Once the con is taken up, it's agonizing to admit it and pull away from it. You have to live with the harms you've done along the way, which I admit to and which will eventually weigh on you as well. It's not easy, especially when your immediate friends will be harsh with you. If they don't cast you out, you might find yourself self-isolating to pre-emptively remove yourself and spare yourself the pain.

I'm not going to lie, you will encounter women who regard you as a traitor because they, themselves, have not come to terms with the harms they've done, or they've been lucky enough to not have been tested on this crucible and can't believe that anyone can be turned so upside down as we have.

However, you're not alone. I have no statistics but in meeting younger lesbians I'd guess at least 1 in 3 of them are detransitioners from varying stages of identifying as trans. If you are same-sex attracted or gender non-conforming in any way, today's society will digest that as 'trans?' and without saying a word you will find yourself being they/them without ever asking, and transition will be suggested if you suffer from so much as a bad period cramp or any frustration with your body. As women and as lesbians, we experience so much pain that society ignores, and the most powerful articulation of that anguish in our time is 'this can't be the body I'm meant to be in.' Like anorexia, dissociative identities, cutting and other expressions of female despair, we are permitted to lash out destructively as long as we bring down that rage on our own bodies. We continue to inhabit these scarred battlefields long after the fighting has moved on.

I guess the main thing to know is that you are not alone. In fact, I suspect that the 'part of my story where I was convinced I was trans' is going to be part of the coming-out pantheon for lesbians in the future that is as common as having a crush on a straight friend and have the talk with your parents. I don't think having breasts or a deeper voice will condemn you to loneliness, I don't think anyone can blame you for what's happening or being swept up in it. If they do, you can ask them why they didn't stop you, why their voices didn't reach you when you needed it most, and why - now that you've found your own way home with very little help from anyone around you - they aren't appreciating the courage and effort it took for you to find your way.

Welcome home, sister.

[slowips]

obvious

kaeya / reader

“wait— you— you what.” “it’s a shocker, i know, but you’d think you would have caught on by now considering how obvious i���ve been.”

# reader is oblivious, kissing, 1.1k words.

series / prompt

.　⁺ . 　 ˚　✦　.　　+ ⁺　 　 . ✦

in another universe, kaeya thinks as he swirls the half-empty cup in his hands, it will be much easier to court you. perhaps, funnily enough, what if he swapped places and was the oblivious one instead?

he chuckles and swallows that thought down with wine. there was no point in loosing himself in such fantasies when you were right here — literally — as the bartender of angel’s share.

“care to refill my cup?” he asks as he pushes his drink forward. you’re rubbing a wine glass dry, focused on not accidentally dropping it, but you pause your task to give him a long, unbelievable stare. “i’ll wash this cup if you’ll let me,” he adds.

your expression holds the ghost of questions you used to ask him.

why aren’t you leaving? won’t master diluc be angry that you’re here past opening hours? are you going to pay?

his answer never changes.

i want to walk you home. he doesn’t have to know if it’s a secret kept between us. of course i’m paying, i’m no thief.

“i’m the bartender,” you remind, taking the opened bottle of wine and pouring it into his cup. “you’re the customer. i'm not letting you behind the counter.”

kaeya laughs at your straightforwardness, or rather the lack of it. he knows what you actually mean is that master diluc wouldn't be too pleased his estranged brother will not only be breaking one rule but two. “you didn't have to state the obvious.”

“if it was obvious, then you wouldn't have proposed such a funny thing,” you reply. after returning the cup, you continue washing.

he wants to tease you about this “obviousness” you speak off. so many things tend to fly over your head, you should be the last person to explain “obvious”.

it has been 3 months since he started walking you home.

(“why are you here?”

“figured you might need a knight in shining armour to escort you home.”

“but there is no imminent danger.”

“oh, there are plenty lurking in the night.”)

3 weeks since he started staying at your place.

(“you’re not homeless?”

“couldn’t there be other reasons why i want to live with you? perhaps, because…”

“because what?”

“look. the favonius headquarters is just around the corner. this place is a steal for a calvary captain who wants a bit more sleep.”).

2 weeks since rumours begun to spread that there was something going on between you and kaeya.

how he wish it was true.

the bar is void of others. the loud chatter has dissipated and all that's left is the sound of running water, clinking of glass, and kaeya's periodic tapping on the wooden counter top. he’s feeling cheeky today, so he traces with his finger “i love you” in the ancient scripts of his home country.

you don’t seem to notice, but that’s fine. he’s used to it.

chairs tucked in, lights dimmed except for the one over the counter, the tavern is prepared for the night, but yours has only just begun.

clean the kitchen, arrange the shelves, check the storage, prepare bottles for tomorrow, throw out the trash… the list of chores for closing feels endless.

after everything is done (his cup of wine cleaned too), you lock up the tavern. the city seems to be frozen in time—not a single soul in sight—if not for the fluttering of street banners thanks to the night gale.

“home?” you ask the obvious.

“home,” he replies anyway.

the silence is normally filled with small talk—him asking about your day, talking about the lack of horses on his side and speculations on the future, sometimes—but it’s hard when your face is scrunched up.

“something bothering you?” he inquires. you slow your pace as if reluctant to reach your apartment.

“master diluc knows,” you mumble, “this is probably the last we can walk home together because he’ll be at the tavern more often. i’m sorry, it was supposed to be our little secret.”

kaeya wishes he could immortalise your pout.

“it’s alright, he can’t kick a me if i’m not a customer. i’ll wait for you outside so there’s nothing to worry about. unless… you plan to kick me out your house too.” the last bit was meant as a joke, but when you stop in your track and grip the ends of your attire, his heart drops.

“actually… there’s been… rumours… and…” you start, eyes glued to the floor. he takes a step closer to you causing you to lift your head, eyes filled with resolve but mouth hesitating to continue.

have you noticed? are you uncomfortable? he doesn’t have the courage to ask, afraid of the answer.

“and?” he prompts, crossing his arms. it comes out softer than he intends, yet its weight breaks your gaze that falls to the floor again.

“and, i think it would be better if you return to your home. i don’t want people to misunderstand and think that you like me when you’re the most—”

“i like you.”

“—charming bachelor— wait— you— you what?”

his heart thumps erratically; fingers shaking as he tries to keep his cool. he didn’t intent to say those words out loud.

“it’s a shocker, i know,” he’s quick to recover, “but you’d think you would have caught on by now considering how obvious i’ve been.”

“ob-obvious?” you sputter, leaning back as your hands cover your face. “were you— you— when?”

his lips lift into a smile as his worries disappear, although replaced by the rush of adrenaline that doesn’t stop his heart from drumming. of course. what else did he expect from the densest person in tevyat?

“knowing this, would you kick me out of your house now?” he’s tempted to close the gap between you and him, bask in the heat emanating from you in this chilly night, or maybe tease for a hug.

“you’re drunk,” you lower your hands, face in full view with a phantom of a grin. it’s you who closes the gap despite your words, as if you’re hoping this isn’t a dream. your hand is on his arm, clasping it like you’ll fall without his support. your warmth burns through his attire.

“may i remind you i only had two cups. you of all people should know my limit, and you haven’t answered my question.”

“i— i don’t know,” you whisper, “but do you really mean it?”

he is reminded of first time you talked him out of his little misery party in angel’s share, the way the ceiling lights lit you up like an angel. or the time you dragged his drunken ass back home and all he remembered was the determination yet gentleness in your eyes.

his heart is in this throat. he feels sick to know that you don’t trust his words, but really, who can?

his hands find their way to your cheeks, and he leans in for a kiss instead.

───・

requested by anon / older sister work

#genshin x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya x y/n #kaeya x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x y/n #genshin impact x you #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #x reader

[astars-things]

“Stop being a fucking prick.” With Brinds please!

Pairing Gavin Brindley x reader

I woke up this morning to the familiar feeling of cramps and bloating. My period had arrived. I sighed, knowing that the next few days would be a rollercoaster of emotions and discomfort. But the worst part was yet to come.

My boyfriend Gavin had been nothing but sweet and supportive during my previous periods. He would bring me chocolate and heat pads and offer to run errands for me. But today, as soon as I woke up, I felt a surge of anger towards him for no apparent reason. I just wanted to lash out and make him feel as miserable as I was feeling.

Gavin, oblivious to my mood, tried to initiate a conversation. "Good morning, babe! Did you sleep well?"

I glared at him. "Stop being a fucking prick."

Gavin looked taken aback. "What did I do?"

"Nothing. Just leave me alone," I snapped.

Gavin frowned but didn't say anything else. He went to the kitchen to make breakfast while I stayed in bed, feeling guilty but also too angry to apologize.

As the day went on, I found myself getting even more irritable. Gavin would ask me a simple question, and I would snap at him. He would try to give me a hug, and I would push him away. He even tried to make a joke to cheer me up, but instead of laughing, I told him it wasn't funny.

Gavin looked hurt and confused, but I couldn't bring myself to care. All I could think about was how much pain I was in and how unfair it was that he didn't understand.

Later that evening, Gavin suggested we go for a walk in the park. Normally, I would have loved the idea, but today, it just made me even angrier. "I don't want to go for a stupid walk. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Gavin looked sad. "I'm sorry if I'm not doing enough to help you. I just want to make you feel better."

"I don't need your help," I said, my voice rising. "I can take care of myself."

Gavin sighed. "Okay. I'll leave you alone, then."

I felt a twinge of regret as he left the room, but it was quickly replaced by another surge of anger. Why did he have to be so damn understanding all the time? Didn't he know how much pain I was in?

It wasn't until later that night, as I lay in bed feeling miserable and alone, that I realized how unfair I had been to Gavin. He didn't deserve to be treated that way just because I was on my period.

I got out of bed and found Gavin asleep on the couch, I laid down next to him "I'm sorry" I sobbed out and Gavin immediately pulled me into his arms rubbing my sides

#gavin brindley x reader #gavin brindley #my husband #send in requests #thanks anon! #umich hockey

[i-know-you-wanna-kiss-me]

life update because i ♡ oversharing:

i'm basically not moving in with my grandmother. but it's okay!! i made the decision myself because i'm literally a baby and i love being around my brother, i'd miss him too much and i have fun at home. i have the option of staying at the school im currently enrolled in or moving to a few different ones, or doing it online. i haven't figured it out yet. i was doing soooo well when it came to working out in may-june but the weathers been so bad lately so i'm just going to have to get a gym membership. luckily for me, my tiny town has like four different gyms for no reason. literally doesn't even take ten minutes to walk from one end to the other, idk who's going to them. i think i'll pick one in our neighbouring town because its in a hotel and my brother goes there and he says its nice. going to gradually build up my dream wardrobe. i need to throw away a lot of stuff. my room is a mess and i have clothes to donate and also lots of clothes to wash. going shopping next week and getting my hair and nails done. school starts at the end of august for me. cried because i missed my sisters today. its hard without them. my younger brother screamed at me for sitting beside our mother because she said that she didn't want anyone too near her. i guess he thinks that it's hypocritical because she said that to him and then didn't mind me sitting right beside her, but she just meant that he was too close to her and kept leaning against her. he got angry at me anyways. he thinks that i'm better loved. other than that he's been nice to me. my other brother asked me to buy him some skin care products the other day. he said that i have nice skin and that i'd understand what would work well for him. then we talked about how your skin can look nice but not really nice in the way that it glows. i got him some witch hazel and different serums and face washes and creams. drank my fav sparkling water and got made fun of for it. sorry but its nice. i have a mild cold and im on period, so it's a lose lose situation. and i just remembered that i'm going away for the weekend, so im supposed to swim. it'll be fun. i don't want to go out so i'll just be left in the hotel room to order room service and stuff.

the nail inspo that i'm using xxx

[muertawrites]

Request !! Reader on her period so bf!eddie gives her cuddles and tries to help her period cramps :(

(i'm on the second day of my period and having a horrible time with it so i needed this request. my emotions are being real bitchy to me.)

i'm just gonna write these as headcanons bc anything more formal i've tried today has flopped spectacularly

idk about the rest of y'all but i'm an emotional wreck on my period. a couple days beforehand i am just mean, and bitter, and all i want to do is cry, and on top of that i get really sleepy and just want to eat everything in sight, especially if it's high in sugar.

so this is the woman that our poor man has to deal with every month

i actually feel like eddie would be kind of squeamish about periods? like the whole concept just kind of grosses him out (and justifiably, because it is a very gross thing to go through). this means he's very careful with you when you're on your period, not wanting to be too rough or too intimate with you because it's totally weird down there right now and he doesn't want to cross a line (which is fair because, if you're like me, you go from "i just want to be swaddled like an infant" to "if anybody touches me i'll rip out their kidneys" in a matter of seconds)

but he also knows the hormones are hard on you because your emotions are just ruthless. and he's really good at supporting you when things are tough. so in this respect, he knows exactly what to do.

when you get angry at him, he knows not to argue with you. he argued with you once when you lashed out at him because of your period, and you felt so bad about the fight afterward that you made him a mixtape and bought him a new grinder to apologize. he also felt really bad and once you talked through it, he was quick to pick up on what was actual frustration and what was your period talking. (you can tell he's fictional bc he's emotionally intuitive lmaoooooo)

when you break down crying at random, he holds you. doesn't matter what the reason, he'll just plop you into his lap and cuddle you until the tears stop. he's perfectly happy letting you use him as a body pillow when you need to.

when you get really insecure about your body, or your skin starts breaking out because of the hormones, he's you go-to hype man. he reminds you constantly that you're pretty, the prettiest person he's ever seen, even when you're in your pajamas feeling gross and wishing you could become one with your mattress. totally the type of boyfriend who would do sheet masks with you. that has to stay between you, though. can't let the hellfire guys think he's going soft even tho he's soft as candy floss for you and everyone knows it.

always down to get munchies. will actually get high so you can have the munchies together. you tell him that that's not technically very sympathetic, since he loves getting high, but he buys you whatever snacks you want from 7-eleven and doesn't expect or even ask you to share, so you let it slide. loves taking you to mcdonald's or sonic late at night for fries and milkshakes.

he's SO cautious when you're cramping. even if you ask him to hold you he'll be really gentle and light with his touches because he doesn't want to hurt you. won't touch your stomach or even too high up on your thighs. he will refill your hot water bottle for you, though, and will get you ibuprofen or tea or whatever you ask him for to help.

will watch whatever comfort movie / show you want with you. he does tease you when cheesy stuff makes you overly emotional and you cry, but only because it's just so cute.

if you're in the shower he usually likes to join you, but if he knows you're on your period, he gives you space. i have a headcanon that he can get a little freaked out by the sight / smell of blood, ESPECIALLY after the incident with the demobats, so that's part of the reason. he definitely has ptsd from it and blood can trigger him.

idk he's still a guy and periods are weird to him, but he's a good boyfriend nonetheless. he does his best and he loves you. what more could you really ask for?

#eddie munson #eddie asks #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you

[timeoverload]

Today was a pretty easy day for me. I had 29 cases but it wasn't as stressful because they weren't moving too fast. Nothing bad happened except I still haven't found that muscle hook. Hopefully it turns up tomorrow. I was happy that I got to eat breakfast and lunch and it wasn't terrible.

I did get very angry with the morning team lead earlier. He started telling me how he feels about trans people and I do not agree with his opinions. I told him I didn't want to have a debate about it but he wouldn't stop so I sort of blew up on him. He was telling me that he thinks trans people are mentally ill and he refuses to treat them with respect because he doesn't believe in that. He's always preaching about God and going to church every Sunday but obviously it hasn't taught him how to be a compassionate person. I remember a verse from the bible that says, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." I think he needs to read the book again. I believe if God exists then they created trans people and Jesus loves everyone. They have always existed and it's not a trend. He tried to argue that they are just "seeking attention" but I don't believe that's the case. I think all humans can be attention seeking and that's just the way we are. He needs to stop hating people just because he doesn't understand them. He said that we will have to agree to disagree and I was so mad that I had to leave the room. I also don't think that was an appropriate conversation to be having at work period. I don't want to be forced to be around a transphobic asshole. I barely said a word to him the rest of the day. He says so many horrible things and thinks it's funny. I don't think he realizes how mean he is. He was talking about one of the surgical techs and couldn't remember her name so he referred to her as "the ugly bridge troll". He makes so many disrespectful comments about women. He told me he would leave his fiancée if she didn't shave her legs and I think that's shallow as fuck. He believes a man should make all of the decisions in a relationship and I don't agree with him. He is just so rude and has the biggest ego. He's always pissed about something. I know I have been complaining about him a lot but I am forced to spend hours of my life working with him by myself. I hate coming in to work in the morning now. I think maybe karma is starting to catch up with him because he has been having a lot of bad things happen to him. He has been having a health issue and may need to go on leave. I don't want anything bad to happen to him just because I don't like him but it would be nice to not be around him for a while. He said he is going to come back to work the next day after his procedure because he "lives to work". He's crazy and irresponsible. He also spends at least half of his day talking instead of working anyway. I already know his doctor isn't going to let him do that. He thinks it's fine for him to come in to work anyway and is expecting everyone else to wait on him and bring him stuff to do while he sits. I'm not doing that and that's a bad idea for so many reasons. I really need to stop talking about him but I have been bottling it up and he has been driving me bonkers. I am going to try to stay away from him as much as possible. I'm sorry for going on a rant.

Anyway, there was an add-on at 4:15 and that didn't get done until 4:45. I didn't leave on time because it took me a while to get everything cleaned up but it's ok. I'm so glad I'm home and that it's almost the weekend. I am feeling strange right now. I think I might be getting sick but I can't tell. I have a sore throat but it's not that bad so maybe I will feel better in the morning. I am very tired and achy though. I'm sorry I haven't been on here as much. It's hard to use my phone at work and when I get home I am so sleepy. I am probably going to order a new phone on Friday. I have fallen asleep several times lately with the light on and my keyboard in my lap. I think I need to go eat something really quick and get ready for bed. I need to relax because I have 32 cases tomorrow and it might be a rough day but I hope it isn't. I don't like Thursdays very much but I will try my best to make it a good day.

I hope everyone else has a wonderful day tomorrow!!! Thank you for listening to me vent because that means a lot to me. Talking about stuff usually helps me feel better. I love you all!!! :) 💖💖💖

#personal

[essentiallykpopandbl]

I kind of just sat silently after watching the episodes of To My Star 2 today. I was crying, in awe, and digesting what had just happened in the show. Then i had to work. And now i have a lot that I need to say about it. So strap in, this will get long.

I see a lot of people being angry over Jiwoo and his choices. I will admit, I have wanted to smack him once or twice for how harsh he is toward Seojoon. But I want to talk about the importance of a character like Han Jiwoo being portrayed on screen. This man has a lot of self worth, self love, and trust issues. And I mean LOTS of them. These are a lot of the same issues many people struggle with. Am I enough? Do I deserve love? Why does this person love me? How do I love them back? Will this end painfully? How do I make this hurt less? And all of them are valid questions and issues. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve Seojoon, or that he isn't enough, but it is ok for him to have those questions. It is part of life, it's part of learning about ourselves and making ourselves better. He is not any less deserving just because he has these concerns. I think that is why it is so important that we see this character on screen. This needs to be represented more. We talk a lot about representation on screen and I think it is just as important to show these mental and emotional struggles as well. I know there are people that don't want to see this realistic and sad reality on screen, and I get it. The world sucks enough. But I think showing these struggles help people understand others and realize they are not alone.

What this show has done so well is forced us to watch this story play out through Seojoon's eyes. Before today, we have not been able to understand Jiwoo. We heard his words and the anger he put into them and saw the blank expression he always tried to give Seojoon, but we were confused by the look in his eye, or the protective traits he keeps using. We knew Jiwoo was in love because he still catches things before they hit the ground, protects the person next to him from people on the street even if it isn't Seojoon, follows Seojoon with his eyes.... oh yeah, and licks the blood off his face and kisses the hell out of him. But his actions didn't match his words, and since Seojoon felt confusion and whiplash, the audience did as well. Only when the point of view shifts do we see the emotion behind the actions. We begin to understand just how alone Jiwoo felt. That he told himself the love he has could never compete with the world's love for Seojoon. That their relationship was on borrowed time. That there is nothing more lonely then being afraid of the relationship you are in. And now the audience sees both sides, and that honestly hurts even more. That this isn't a problem that comes from a lack of love. And if that doesn't just rip my heart out and stomp on it.

So what now? Where do we go from here? We have two characters that are currently very broken, with only 2 episodes to go. Seojoon is depressed and crying in the house he used to share with Jiwoo. Jiwoo is bawling reading old texts from someone he loves and realizing just how deeply Seojoon loves him. Some people want them back together. Some want them to stay apart. Some just wants some form of happiness for these two. And I don't really know where I fall in that spectrum. On one hand I sympathize with Jiwoo. That hand wants them to find happiness apart. Learn to love themselves and find peace with what happened between them. But the other hand sides with Seojoon. That hand wants Jiwoo to realize that his insecurities were the reason this feel apart and he should apologize for leaving. They can trust in their love and find happiness together. But it is in Hwang Da Seul's hands and I just hope she is kind to my heart and tear ducts.

Regardless of what happens, I don't think it ruins the happy ending of the first season. We are watching short periods of time in their lives. At the time of the first season, they fell in love and were happy. They were helping heal each other. But that might not last. It does not change the fact that they did fall in love. It is easy to fall apart, it is a lot harder to put ourselves back together. This could all just be part of the journey they have to go on to heal. Would I have liked to see a whole season of these two smiling, in love, and living a wonderful life..... of course I would. But what we got instead was an amazingly acted beautifully directed exploration of a painful love story. I cried a lot (which is no surprise) but I am so glad to have experienced this. Good luck to Seojoon and Jiwoo next week. May you both find the happiness within you.

#to my star #to my star 2 #hwang da seul #jiwoo and seojoon #wow that got soooo long #i just have so many feelings about this show #why do some shows do this to me #i dont blame you if you dont read this whole thing #korean bl #the season is SAD

[nobodys-muffin]

ok so ik that having siblings has its ups and downs but honestly what seems to bother me most is that you are STUPID and try to act like you're cool or smart or as if I'm the dumb one.

I got this conclusion at last because I'm snapping at my little brother and I'm trying to hard to honestly understand his perspective but he doesn't seem to even try to do that for me and as someone that is also a younger sibling towards my older siblings it's frustrating.

These last few days haven't really been the best since I lost my new headphones which frustrates me because I always end up losing my stuff and honestly it's not my fault I have always have had bad memory and they end up giving me comments I cannot even express because if I do I'd be in trouble, but anyways back to the point lol.... yesterday me and my little brother were playing games like guess what animal I am or person I am at my aunt's home and he did me then I was like ok bet so I did and the end it was 3 him 2 me and then I decided to stop bc what's the point of arguing let's have fun to then today we had church and I had a seat at the corner which I love but my family hates bc they think that makes me less involved to church lol I think it's absurd but I see why they think that way, and so I left for a moment to the restroom and had a small talk with myself to the mirror lol and when I went back I found my little brother sitting on the seat I was on and I know it shouldn't be a bit deal but he saw me sitting there and still decided to sit there even when I came back he could've been like oh sorry and moved to the other seat but no he was like what? you left 🙄 and my sister was like what? it's true.. and so that bothered me a whole lot because you don't just go on around taking somebody else's seat just bc they left you would've told them oh excuse me I'm sitting there or that's my seat or something right?

Not just that I kept giving him the cold shoulder but at the end of the day I decided it shouldn't really bother me he's a kid and I'm not so I tried not to even though they were acting like I was being extra and weird like omg is she angry why idk she's about to get her period probably like B**** no TF I'm not I had it 2 weeks ago it ain't coming till 2 more weeks or so like why does a period always have to be the reason of me being emotional like tf!?!?

When we came back home it was time to sleep I tried expressing myself to my little brother and then again he always tries to make me feel dumb and less. Like is that the only word you know like why don't you say the a word the s word or the f word

Like oh shit my bad but I'm not tryna hurt your feelings bc if I did you would never forget what i said but I hold back my younger for the sake of how much I don't want to hurt you but it bothers me how you try to be a smartass with me when you know I'm right and the fact that you want to be right when you're wrong and it's obvious you are like just shut up.

At the end I didn't want to argue anymore its bed time so why even go to sleep mad so I said out loud you should go and brush your teeth idk why you're still here petting my dog and he was like ok ok ok interrupting me and he said I'll leave you and your phone then yeah you and your phone continuously interrupting me tryna get me in trouble bc he knows we're not allowed to use the phones after 8.

#siblings #sibling problems #sad thoughts #frustración #i wanna leave #Silence to my thoughts

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

What I think of the live action Disney remakes 🤮😡

Okay, I'm going to start off with making it clear that I like SOME Disney movies, but not all of them, and that includes live action remakes. The 2016 Live action Cinderella, Live action Jungle Book, and Live action 101 Dalmatians were incredible. The ones I have complaints with are the Live action Mulan, and the others that are currently being crapped out one after another. I'm not complaining about the Live action Little Mermaid for racial reasons, because her skin color doesn't matter, it's a 200 year old fairytale adaptation and her skin color was never confirmed. Snow white on the other hand, frankly it doesn't make much sense and feels a like changing everyone's skin color is a bit awkward (I mean, she is Snow WHITE). However, people with differnet skin colors may feel different and if they approve, then I approve too. I'm not one of those people who grew up with the old Disney movies and got overly attached to them... instead I grew up and got obsessed with cartoons from Nickelodeon, Sprout, and Qubo.

About the live action Little Mermaid, again, who the heck cares about her skin color, I'm just mad that they didn't make much changes to her outfit. Like, they could have gave her a little top made of seaweed that covers the breasts more, but I do approve of her newer outfit over the 1980s movie. Like, nobody hates Ariel's design more than I do, in fact it's the second thing that comes to my mind when I think of bad character designs (The firsts are Tim burton stop motion, and Goat story's designs, do not ever watch goat story, it's the scariest thing!). I'm also angry about Tinker Bell's design too, in both the live action and 1950s movie, she's supposed to be 12! Betcha didn't know that, huh? If I were to redesign Tinkerbell I'd actually give her a full length dress to fit in with the time period, plus she's a fairy. I'm just really uncomfortable with the old movies portraying underage girls as "Sexy" and no one seeing anything wrong with it for all these years. Does it make me think the live action movies are going to be any better? NOPE!

The ones I'm most angry about are the live action Lilo & Stitch and the live action Moana because those are actually Disney's own stories that aren't based off any fairytale or story, and making them live action is like a slap in the face to the original animated version that people worked hard on. I get that Lilo and Stitch doesn't have the most aesthetically pleasing art style (I think the old 40s and 50s ones look worse) but it's an amazing movie for it's time, and it stands out as being an original story and not adapted form anything. As for Moana, it came out in 2016 and it's way too soon to make a remake of it. Like, I understand for something like Little mermaid or Pinocchio because they're old as dirt, but for Moana? Like, there's nothing politically incorrect about Moana that they need to change to fit in with today's standards. If they make a live action Moana they have to make a live action Tangled too.

Another big thing that ticks me off is when they forget about ACTUAL live action Disney originals like Teen Beach Movie and Enchanted. Especially Teen beach Movie, that was incredible and creative and it had girl power and I love it! Ross Lynch and Maya Mitchell both did an amazing job, especially Ross. Anyway, not all live action Disney movies are horrible but these ones that they've been announcing lately, like I swear they announce a new live action movie every week, thinking that people will get excited but really they don't give a darn. Wait until Disney makes a live action Finding Nemo with kallmeKris as Dory, the world is gonna go insane! (I'd rather have KallmeKris than Ellen)

#my thoughts #my thoughts on live action disney #my opinion

[reveriestarsstuff]

We love how the haters get angry over you saying the acotar series is a joke when it's literally true.

Like- the author herself isn't even sticking to canon. Plotholes everywhere, characters are being hypocrits, the romance is just basically constant sex now, worldbuilding is crap and cultural appropriation, racism, stereotypes etc. Are in this series. What you said about people losing their sh*t over a series that is a complete joke is facts 😂😂

The whole reason why the fandom is full of sh*t is mainly because of the sh*t that has been written in her books. Fandoms in general are toxic but the acotar fandom is just hell.

I completely agree Anon! The only thing I truly love about the series are the characters because they're all so different and I resonate and relate to a lot of them. But even majority of those characters are hypocritical and inconsistent in their actions, and lowkey suck at times. I think its easy to love stuff about the series yet still be respectful to others for their different preferences!

"the author isn't even sticking to canon" 100%. I've seen so many tumblr posts give full proof of these inconsistencies so its so random to me to see all these people loosing their shit over pointless arguments, when literally they could just move on. Debating is cool, but being an outright asshole to someone who is REAL is not. The ACOTAR series is inconsistent, period. Love whatever you want about the series, but don't be a dick when the series is all over the place.

I got my first hate anon today because of that post and it completed proved my point lol. They told me to leave the fandom if I thought it was a joke, and then got mad that I'm a 17 year old whose talking about this. First, it doesn't take a 50 something year old to recognize this fact, and second I will glady stay in this fandom and talk about the things that I love about it. :)

Anyways I totally agree Anon!

#anon ask #acotar #acomaf #acosf #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #elain archeron #rhysand #lucien vanserra #elucien #gwynriel

[mara-xx217]

AN IMPORTANT REMINDER

Okay so this is now becoming a serious issue. If you are going to follow this blog, you MUST put your age in your bio.

You MUST be over the age of 18 (eighteen) to follow this blog. If you try to follow my blog and you either state you are not 18 or do not disclose your age, you WILL be blocked.

No discussion, no exception. 

If you are unsure as of why this is happening, why it has come up, or what the reasoning behind this is, I will go into it below the cut.

If you know anything about what I write, then you know that I write a lot of erotica/horror. I do not want minors to interact with me or any content for this reason. This is MY space where I can express myself however I wish or please to do so.

Minors being in this (my) space is unwelcome. They make me feel unsafe. It IS unsafe- for me, for them, and for my followers who are over the age of 18.

I REFUSE to alter what I do and how I write. This is not an "E for Everyone" environment. This is 18 and up space where we can discuss sex, violence, and all manner of uncomfortable topics without fear of judgement or the need to censor themselves because of the possibility that there are minors lurking around.

Having a 14 (FOURTEEN) year old try to follow me today was the last straw. I'm genuinely angry and I'm sick and tired of worrying about (and actually CATCHING) literal children trying to FOLLOW me for my 18 AND UP content.

Starting from this point on, I'm going to be even more proactive in combing through my followers and blocking anyone that

Does not have an age in their bio

Does have an age in their bio and claims to be under the age of 18

I don't care what the reasoning may be. No age = Blocked. Period.

No "It's none of your business".

No "I turn 18 in a few days".

No "It shouldn't matter what my age is".

No age? Blocked.

It isn't DOXXING to disclose this information. I don't care about who you are- your name, D.O.B., where you're from- I don't care I just want to know if you are of the right age to view my content. If you can't do that then get off my page and block me.

I don't want to hear the argument "Kids will find it anyway! What's the point in blocking them?" They may get into things they shouldn't, but that doesn't mean that *I* will contribute knowingly and willingly to that notion. That kind of thinking is dangerous and frankly it creeps me out.

I don't want kids looking at my shit.

No age = Blocked

Please put your ages in your bios.

All I ask is for you to spread this because I'm fucking sick and tired of seeing underage blogs following me and seeing people that claim to be adults (no age in bio) say that there is nothing wrong with having minors on 18+ Only Blogs.

It's fucking gross. Stop it. Seriously.

In conclusion:

NO AGE = BLOCKED

UNDERAGE = BLOCKED

Okay? Okay.

Please share this. I don't want to worry about fucking children invading adult spaces all the fucking time. It's getting tiresome fast.

@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine

#please read #general post #this is an 18 and up blog #minors do not interact #if you don't like it leave #tarhos kovács x reader #dbd #tarhos kovács #minors aren't welcome here #and if you are blocked by me #that's it #no take backs #that trust is gone forever #I can't believe I have to make this damn post in 2023 ffs #minors don't interact with 18+ blogs #it's unsafe for everyone when you do #stop it

[gillianthecat]

I watched Kissable Lips and perhaps it's just my bad mood (still sick but now with a sore throat PLUS my period started so I have hormone induced irritability on top of feeling like shit) but I kind of hate it. Probably more than it's quality deserves, but it pissed me off, like only something that could have been much better can.

The rest is below the cut just in case there's anyone who doesn't want to be spoiled on it. (There are also vague spoilers for Once Again and Guardian.) And so I can be as irritable about it as I want but you can skip it if you liked the show.

It wasn't the ending. I mean I didn't love that either but it wasn't because the ending was sad, I often like angst and tragedy and self sacrifice. It was just that the whole thing never felt like a real show, just an outline of one. It all felt like a student project film - someone's first screenwriting attempt. I don't know, maybe it was. But while there were a lot of interesting ideas there they never came together. It was like someone describing their idea for a movie but leaving out all the connective tissue.

I was uncertain at the beginning. Vampires? Could be cool but I have to get into the right mindset and trust their world building to enjoy it. I actually quite liked episodes two and three - the seduction, the flirting. Everyone is right, the actors do have good chemistry. And I like predators that fall in love when there is a good reason for them to be a predator (like being a vampire). But then as things progressed I got more and more annoyed. And it wasn't such much that it was terrible; it was more the could have beens. Like, this could have been good, or interesting, or compelling, if only it had been given more time to develop, if there was just a little more world building, if this character had just a little more backstory, if there was some connective tissue between these scenes.

In a way, it's kind of the opposite experience of watching Big Dragon; there I have no idea what the show is trying to do, but it's doing it well. I can very clearly see what Kissable Lips is trying to do. The themes and character arcs are incredibly clear. But, frustratingly, it just doesn't succeed.

I was going to drop it after episode 6. But today I decided: there's only half an hour left, might as well finish it now so I don't have it hanging over me. And I'm in a mood where I don't want to watch anything good so I don't contaminate it with my grumpiness, so I will get it out of the way.

I think the first problem was there was no reason for Min Hyun to decide to trust x after learning he was a vampire. Like yes, I get that the theme of the story is self-sacrifice for the one you love, but Min H had known Jun Ho for what, one week? Maybe two? And there wasn't even a moment of questioning, he was just immediately like I trust this guy with my life. of course it's not weird that he's a vampire. So instead of seeming like he's in love he just comes across as a dumb bunny. No shade to the actor, he's doing his best with what he's given, but he hasn't been given enough to make mh into a character rather than a plot device.

I will talk shit about the antagonist's actor though, because that was over-acting. Again, the character was an interesting concept that wasn't given the space to become a real character.

Honestly, my favorite dynamic was between Jun Ho and the older (human?) woman. Their relationship was mysterious, but in an interesting way, not like they'd just left info out. And her angry worry and her hidden self sacrifice were interesting. Perhaps it worked better for me because it didn't quite fit into the story I was expecting. So I wasn't comparing it to what I thought it should be in my head, and was able to merely be curious about who she was. Archetypes can make for a great story, but they also come with expectations. Perhaps that is why Big Dragon is working so well for me - it's outside of my expectations now and I'm able to just watch for what it actually is.

As for the ending...

The thing is, I actually enjoy the angst of mutual self sacrifice. I loved Guardian. The ending made me sob. But it worked because I felt the weight of their relationship; I believed in their love for each other and I understood why the characters made the choices they did. Guardian had 30 hours to build up their relationship, Kissable Lips had less than 90 minutes; maybe it's just a matter of having the time. I don't know, if there is a way to make that kind of love believable so quickly, Kissable Lips did not manage it. And so, despite a few genuinely moving moments, I mostly felt detached, wondering, what great love? There was no weight to it.

All the stuff with the ring though - Jun Ho kneeling, desperately searching for it in his sudden blindness, Min Hyun almost but not quite finding it and finding that Polaroid instead - that really worked somehow. I got actual goosebumps.

I think I just struggle with these super short Korean series. Who knows, perhaps if they were cut into a movie format they'd work better for me but the 10 minute chunks and all the constant flashbacks to stuff we've just seen annoy me. I haven't seen any Strongberry stuff (Choco Milk Shake is my first) so this may not apply to them, but I felt irritated, to varying degrees, with Color Rush, Once Again, and The Tasty Florida.

Once Again was the best of these (even though the end confused me) but it still felt more like a sketch than I wanted it too, not quite a fully fleshed out story. Color Rush I think had some similar problems to Kissable Lips for me, it could have been fascinating, but there just wasn't enough time for the world building and character development to make me really care. (Also, I really wish they'd filmed everything in black and white and only used color when Y was seeing in color. I think that would have been an instant improvement in world building.) The Tasty Florida was the least ambitious of these, no fantasy world building required, so it should have worked. And it almost did, but I still found its flimsiness mildly annoying. And I wasn't a fan of the random separation/time skip at the end. I get that it's a thing in Korean BLs (and maybe not just BL?) but i almost never like it. It feels like they're outsourcing all the character growth to happen off screen.

#kissable lips #kissable lips the series #kissable lips bl #kissable lips korean bl #kissable lips korea #korean bl #gillianthecat reacts to bl #korean short series bl #color rush #once again bl #the tasty florida #guardian #gillianthecat hates being sick

[lapeaudelamemoire]

I do not know why but I have been thinking about a lot of self-harming things today, like slitting the side of my throat sharply with a knife and banging my head on something or tearing my torso open with my hands (???) and now I am inordinately angry. I woke up today actually feeling quite grateful and this is. A big difference.

When I sit down to think about it it's not hard to figure out that well there are a lot of things to be angry about actually, and I've been seeing media about fucking straight-up genocide for like over a month now every day so it's not hard to figure out that huh maybe it's all the fucking anger that's not going anywhere and can't seem to go anywhere and

It's been a long time since I've wanted to throw something across the room but it's happening right now.

I'm really thinking about getting an old phone, you know the kind that only does calls and texts, and going back to using an mp3 player. Today I tried listening to a soundtrack to a donghua I just finished watching and every 2 songs there was a fucking ad. I'm going crazy.

I realised sitting in bed is that my problem is I have always had this morbid curiosity and so left to my own devices I wonder and wondered what it would be like to be in other people's shoes, including things like what would it be like to cut off your tongue with scissors like in Oldboy or what would it be like to dig an eye out like in those fucking HK dramas I watched growing up or what would it be like to hold a kettle that's just gone off against your inner thing like in Secretary or what would it be like to be pressed onto a hot metal cylinder with words embossing you or all those fucking Chinese torture things they did, all the fucking period historical dramas with people getting mutilated, so on, and so on. This endless how does it feel? How do they feel? Endless seeing from someone else's frame of mind, trying to put myself into someone else's shoes. Probably also learned from all the car talks with my dad where he told me to try to think about others. Think about my mum. When I was a child and my mum cried in bed next to me and asked if she was a bad mum and I understood how she felt and said no afraid to hurt her. I see and I try to feel them. What is it like. I wonder what it feels like. G-d. No wonder Will Graham was like that.

-

Angry too because I went to look up provisional psychologist jobs and at least about half of them were about trying to get people 'back to work' out whatever and at least about half of them if not more required you to have an Australian driver's licence and/or access to a car. I don't fucking understand why I need to be able to drive to be a gddamned psychologist.

And then there's the little patch of psoriasis I've developed on my left upper eyelid that I'd also meant to go get some cream from the pharmacy just down the road from me for it but of course I didn't then end up doing it. And when I look it up online it says to reduce my stress levels and I want to laugh.

Because of course me looking at provisional psychologist jobs reminds me too that Oh, some of them don't take international students because of work sponsorship stuff they can't or don't want to do, and then there's also the fucking work hours cap of 48 hours per fortnight that's been put back on now after the COVID lockdowns. So that's tricky and Something Else To Think About. Can I apply to these jobs by myself? How do I juggle all these restrictions? The yearly pay is good but I can't actually work full-time either? etc., etc.

I haven't talked to anyone about how I feel or what's going on. I just work and work on assignments go to the workshops write and send the documents and when I sit down with other people they don't really want to talk about this.

I got in the bath today thinking I'd have a nice soak at least and then my palms started burning again because that's a thing that happens for me now. My eyelid and forehead are scaly and itchy. I don't have much of a reason to go back to Singapore any more and every other moment I am reminded of why. There's all this fucking family stuff suddenly heaving back up like acid and bile in the throat.

Unsurprising that I don't seem to pay much attention to my own needs. Locked door room never leaving the bed clothes strewn in boxes or across the floor. I didn't expect that I would need to relearn how to live again. I guess it'll keep happening, though. And I'll think this again.

#personal #tw mention of self-harm #cw mention of mutilation

[caralara]

I know everyone is up in arms about the return of F mentions but I am... thinking thoughts about timing and checkered theory. Two mentions in one day, but very minor in the radio interview and none in the direct quotes of the print interview. None prompted or relevant to the other subject matter at all. None that felt organic at all, either (I think, for example, if somehow we were wrong about F and he were organically bringing F up in these interviews, it would flow naturally in those direct quotes, not get shoved into a parenthetical).

From a PR/album promo perspective... no point. None at all. No one is buying his album because he's a good dad, and it's not like Alt Press readers care about that. Honestly, not even his existing fans care about that. And if it's not for promo and it's not organic, then I'm left wondering why. And a reason that I come back to is... groundwork for ending it. It was justified, he was rightfully angry and almost certainly being sabotaged by his team but... Louis did not come off as a good dad in early bbg days. And if it's going to end (and he's not going the burn it all down route), he needs to come off as a good dad. He can claim privacy, but if there's still early stories about the mess that was 2015-2016 and nothing to replace them, you just resurface bad stuff when you end it. If you casually seed quiet mentions of his son, not so much that it's awkward and forced (like Walls promo) but just like... closer to normal, and then things end, you have a much more organic story. And that article ALSO included that quote about Louis not wanting people to feel sorry for him, not wanting the narrative of his life to be things never going his way, so you have quotes to back up a kind of "move on, look to the future, give privacy and don't pity him" attitude when it ends. This timing feels to me like it fits with the theory that bbg might end in the slow period between album announcement and release, just because it feels a little heavy handed for an early next year end, and if that was the timing I'd think they try pretty hard to keep F out of the promo.

This is a long anon and I'm sorry but you're like... a rational person about bbg ending and I just have thoughts.

hi anon, first off - your last sentence gave me butterflies ngl hehe

Secondly - I can only give that back to you, what you’re laying out here, your observations make a lot of sense.

I said in a response to a different anon already today that his mention of Freddie was unprompted during the radio interview, and the print interview is also… not ver organic. Why mention Freddie when you’re listing the tragedies of his life?

I like your theory about the timing a lot, and I lean more towards this now, especially after attributing the September signalling to promo / album instead of babygate.

You’re welcome back in my inbox anytime to talk about this!!

#anon #babygate #bbg